#UNHINGED HEADCANONS save me UNHINGED HEADCANONS

[lilly-townshend]

did @redbowedblogger stutter? canon in my books. ignore the fishstick.

[redlenai]

Whenever I think about a nice Jimmy AU, he ends up being like, that one motherfucker actor in a movie that could create a one hour long blooper video on his own (He is defo broken inside with the abandonment issues and still with the homoerotic tension with the Captain) but he copes by being funny.

You know what, screw it, headcanon time

Relationship with the other members:

Curly: Rivals and Besties, Curly isn't aware that the homoerotic jokes aren't just jokes. He thinks Jimmy is just unhinged and trying to make him break character so he doesn't look as professional

Daisuke: Jimmy is a terrible example for the intern, Daisuke wants to be friends but the "How do you do fellow kids?" attitude makes him cringe

Swansea: The elder scolds him for distracting Daisuke and being so unserious, Jimmy only behaves the days Sawnsea is using chanclas

Anya: She and Jimmy are forced to almost never be in the same place at the same time, if she laughs, Jimmy keeps on going with the jokes and none of them get anything done.

Other dumb scenarios I magined:

There is no crash (Nor anything bad happening), when Curly tells Jimmy about the meteorite the other just "Hit the gas, I wanna see it up-close"

On medbay he would just go into the bed, get in all fours (fully clothed) and "Doctor Anya! I'm ready for my colonoscopy~" in a high pitched voice. He stops the seconds he hears Anya putting on her gloves.

He saw Daisuke taking a nap in the living area, he waited until the other woke up with a leg cramp just to slap it "YOU NEED MORE POTASIUM"

Whenever he has to go to the Utility area, Swansea knows he is coming because Jimmy ALWAYS hums Tchaikovsky (The Swan Lake theme) just to piss him off.

In the Cockpit, Jimmy once was open legged on his seat, Curly told him to sit properly and the other just "What? Tempted at the pussy that faces the world?"

Some nice!Jimmy quotes? As if what I did up wasn't quotes, yeah:

"Give me the gun, Curls. Daisuke doesn't know what Vine is"

"Listen Anya, you may have told Curly about the cartoon horse thing, but I'm not the one with a cowboy fetish"

"Swansea, we want pae--" (Got hit by a chancla)

"You better work hard Daisuke, mom and dad don't like Jissapointments"

"YOU BIIEEEEECH!" (Anya bought the land he wanted in Monopoly)

"Es una mierda este juego" (The only spanish sentence he knows, "This game is shit")

"Curls. Save a horse, ride a cowboy"

Writing a nice Jimmy au be so funny. If you remove like all the evil stuff from him it’s really just some guy with abandonment issues and a homoerotic relationship with the captain.

[levemetal]

A peak where SJ can be unapologetically feral and unhinged like we all know he itches to be? Fuck yeah. PL & disciple Yin Hui SJ

Thank you to this post for the inspiration. Have these quick sketches as I am traveling this weekend </3

[bonbonshideout]

Toby & EJ headcanons pt.2

blame @foressfaction for this bro is unhinged

Ahem...

♤ They're ace, yes. Ace. HOWEVER— Toby is unhinged asf, they can have a normal conversation and Toby will say the worst things ever, or at least hint at something.

Jack wearing a stripped shirt

Toby: "gimme that shirt"

Jack: "I need a shirt"

Toby: "I mean... you don't NEED it"

Jack staring at him: "I—- sir......"

♡ Jack bundles Toby up when it's cold, usually ends with Toby being a human ball with all those layers.

Toby is prone to passing out if he gets too hot, which created this scenario:

Toby and Jack were outside. Eventually, it grew too hot that Toby passed out, Jack took him inside and stripped him, and tucked him into bed.

Toby wakes up and notices he's nude: "So~ wanted it that badly, huh?"

Jack, wringing a wet towel: "what—"

Toby: "You wanted me so badly that you waited til I was out"

Jack walks over and drops the towel on Toby's face: "you wish, don't you? no."

Toby moves the towel off his face: "you sure about that?"

Jack: "very... I question your acesexuality a lot."

Toby: "I am ace!"

That's really it, again these were thought about while playing roblox and on a call again 💀

[radioactivepeasant]

WIP of Damas post Jak 3 (because 2004 animation being what it was means in The Scene We Don't Acknowledge Except For Angst, the dude only had his legs pinned. Learn to read a pulse, Jak! 😆)

"You're just going to sit there all day?"

"Yep."

"....you don't trust me not to strain the injuries. I should be insulted."

"Well frankly, boss, I had to inherit the recklessness from somebody."

"..."

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"....I'm going to tell the next advisor who walks in that you have separation anxiety. How about that."

"First of all, you're probably not wrong. Second, if you think you can annoy me into leaving, we're gonna be here a long time."

"So you say. But I am a man of nigh infinite patience-"

"-except when it comes to recovering from compound fractures, apparently-"

"-and you'll break down sooner or later."

[disorganised-bagel]

been playing way too much slime rancher recently, and am now getting The Urges to make some kind of rtc slime rancher au

[crookedteethed]

18+ -mdni

ᥫ᭡. Soft!Rafe Headcanons (but oh, it turns dark)

At first, he doesn’t seem like the other guys on Kildare. Everyone knows Rafe Cameron as the kook prince: arrogant, troublemaker, sometimes violent. But when he first meets you, there’s this quiet charm to him. He stumbles over his words, blushes when you catch him staring too long, and fumbles with his sleeves nervously. It’s almost sweet—almost like he’s a different Rafe entirely.

Soft!Rafe who insists on driving you everywhere. He’d show up outside your house at random times with this stupidly proud smile, like he’s already won just by getting to see you. He always opens the car door for you, fingers grazing the small of your back a little too long. And he drives slow—too slow—just to keep you in his car for longer.

He buys you little things constantly. A bouquet of flowers just because. Your favorite iced coffee. A gold chain with a tiny charm that you offhandedly mentioned once. “It made me think of you,” he’d mumble, soft voice barely audible. But he always watches intently as you react, cataloging every smile or laugh.

Soft!Rafe whose obsession starts with him memorizing every detail about you. The exact shade of your nail polish. The way you like your coffee. The perfume you wear. He swears it lingers in his car after he’s dropped you off, and he secretly takes the long way home just to breathe it in.

Late-night texts turn unsettlingly consistent. At first, it’s cute—“you up?” or “i can’t sleep. thinking of you :)” But soon, it turns into long, rambling messages about how he misses you even though he just saw you. “Do you think of me the way I think of you? I can’t get you out of my head, it’s killing me.”

Soft!Rafe who worships your body. When things inevitably escalate, he’s almost reverent. Every kiss is lingering, every touch is careful—like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers. “You’re perfect,” he whispers against your skin, breathless. He’ll spend hours between your legs, murmuring praises like it’s his purpose to make you fall apart under him.

Soft!Rafe whose sweetness starts to seem... off. He tells you how beautiful you are a little too intensely. There’s a quiet desperation in his voice sometimes, like he’s trying to convince you to stay. “No one could ever love you like I do.” And when you pull away? His sweet smile falters just a little too long.

He keeps things that remind him of you. The sweater you let him borrow once—it’s folded neatly under his pillow. A lipstick you accidentally left in his car sits on his desk like a trophy. He’s even saved your voicemail, replaying it late at night when he’s alone in his room.

Soft!Rafe who loses it the first time you mention another guy. At first, he plays it cool—laughs it off with that forced smile of his. But his hand tightens around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. Later that night, you get a slew of texts: “He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t even know you like I do.”

He starts showing up uninvited. Outside your job when you get off. At parties you didn’t even tell him about.“Just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. But his eyes are dark—there’s something possessive behind them that you can’t ignore anymore.

Soft!Rafe who makes love to you like you’re his religion. His touches turn frantic, kisses bruising as he whispers, “Mine. You’re mine, aren’t you?” over and over again. There’s something in the way he holds you—almost desperate—like if he lets go, you’ll disappear.

The shift is slow but terrifying. One day, you notice how eerily quiet he gets when you don’t give him all your attention. His soft demeanor doesn’t falter, but there’s a shadow of something unhinged in his eyes when he tilts his head and asks, “Who were you with earlier?”

Soft!Rafe who convinces you he’s harmless. Even when you start to get uneasy, he pulls you right back in with his charm. “You’re the only good thing in my life,” he whispers, voice trembling as he cups your face. And suddenly, you feel guilty for doubting him. After all, he’s sweet Rafe—he wouldn’t hurt you... right?

a/n-emptying out my drafts, yuh.

as always, comments, likes, and reblogs all keep me motivated. 🫶🏾

[atelierlili]

I agree 1000% I’ve said this before, but if Peeta had any sort of ‘serious’ relationship before the events of the Games, Katniss would have dragged his ass out and tell us how much of a two faced liar he is.

Girlie may not look it, but she has her ears on the ground. She knows exactly why Gale is wanted by the girls in school AND that Peeta well liked by his friends. And we all know she’s been keeping an eye out on him. 12 is small and the student population is even smaller, now imagine how small it would be if the guy was in the same grade as you. If she caught any wind or inkling that Peeta was fooling around with girls or a single girl, it’d be game over 😭 like I know if she thought him and Delly had a thing, she throw it right in his face before tossing him into an urn. In the first games she was looking for every excuse under the sun to hate him.

Now do I think he might have snuck in a kiss or two before the games? Yeah probably? I don’t know if Katniss describes Peeta as a good kisser, but like he’s also her first kiss so what experience is she actually pulling from??? Girlie probs just likes kissing him 😭

Now this is a weird theory and is basically in the headcanon area, so if you disagree that's fine. But in my opinion I believe that both Kat and Peeta are virigns (I mean Kat is obvious but what ever), to side note I do think it's a high possibility Peeta has kissed/made out with someone, although I don't really care to much to theorise about it.

Now some have talked about the fact that Peeta called Kat pure in catching fire to show he isn't a virgin, but this doesn't necessarily mean he has slept with people, you can be not pure and still a virgin, along with the fact that Kat levels of pure is worse than most. One point to add to the belief of why he isn't a virgin however is the fact that he is basically just chatting with Jo doing the elevator scene (in the books) and he doesn't seem super uncomfortable, others have stated that this is because he is an artist and after do anatomy you kind of get accustomed to seeing naked body, another add on could be him looking through adult magazines, although this is kinda far fetched. It could also be because he's a farely good actor who can work under stressful or uncomfortable situations.

Now my main reason for why I think he is apart from my personal beliefs is when he is hijacked, when he comes back he assumes that he and Kat slept together cos they were sleeping side by side throughout the victory tour, if hijacked Peeta wanted to hurt Kat wouldn't he have mentioned anyone else he has dated/slept with. He knows that it would hurt Kat, or in some level get back at her for "being" with Gale.

Now it could also be said that he forgot about that during the hijacking as his memories were altered and y'know fucked, and while there's not much to disprove that, most of his memories were altered when they involved Katniss, he didn't seem too bad with memories that didn't have any mention of Katniss.

And again, this is all my thoughts and feelings, I personally like romance and the idea of them saving themself, I am also demisexual so I don't really see how Peeta could sleep with someone else while he is still crushing on Katniss, so all of this could effect how I'm seeing this, but yet again it's just my theory and is no way factual, I wrote this on a whim. Bye bye and drink some water and have a good night's sleep.

[unluckilyimnot]

JEALOUS SAE HEADCANONS PLEASEEEEE

Jealous hc

Characters: sae, rin, kaiser, hiori, karasu, shidou

m.list | rules

Note: hiiii how are youuu thank you for your request hihi I had other characters bc I felt like doing it for them too

Sae Itoshi

he’s too prideful to be jealous, or he thinks so

in fact he get pissed off easily, anyone being a little to friendly with you bother him and he already doesn’t like anyone so imagine

he’s not subtile, even if he thinks he is

he’ll get closer, talk like shit to the person who’s flirting with you in his eyes

roll his eyes, click his tongue, you name it

Suddenly he wants to go home or leave for another place

You never honestly never thought you'll see him like that since he's confident and trusts you

I think he just doesn't like people and so by extension he hates people talking to you

He likes to think he's the only one who can make you smile like that, beside your friends (he's not insane)

So seeing some nobody making you smile, or even worst : laugh makes him jealous

He’s not into pda to save his life i think, that’s something he keeps behind closed doors

But oh man how he likes to kiss you when it happens, just to remind everyone that you're taken and you're proud of it

Be prepared to hear about this, he’s a nagging mom at heart

“Are you done ?” you’d ask and magically, yes he is

he will sulk yes, but close to you at least

Rin Itoshi

Bare with him, he acts tough but deep down he wants to cry

Just like his brother, he will get closer, his arm will probably stay around your shoulders after that

But he won’t be mean to them, just kinda ignore them or send death glare if they get too close

No touching, even in a friendly way, don’t be ridiculous

I think he appreciates it if you put a stop yourself

He’s more insecure than he likes to admit and it prove him that he can trust you

He’s gonna be clingy af though

When you two are finally alone, Rin won’t say a world but glue himself to you

He’ll need reassurance for sure :( this boy has abandon issues

Michael Kaiser

He’s an asshole (lovingly)

He let people flirt with you if it helps their ego and mock them for how long you can think, it’s almost an inside joke for him

The irony is that he’s really possessive, so it’s all fun and game until it’s not some loser that try to hit on you

Not that he feels threaten, please

But he still don’t wanna play with them and he doesn’t want you nearby

If you just happen to be friendly with someone then he’s bothered

What do you mean by being this happy to see someone else ?

He’ll ask a million questions and whine about it before brush it off as if he doesn’t care

It takes a lot to deal with him, his reaction depend on his phase

If he feels low then he’ll be a nightmare, you had to be sorry for someone hitting on you and tell him he’s your one and only

If he’s his confident self, it’s almost like he doesn’t care and let it happen

Being with him is a roller coaster

Tabito Karasu

Best man if is speak

He’s mature and he knows he’s projecting his own insecurity when he’s jealous, so he doesn’t make a big deal about it

He’s not gonna ruin the moment so he just keep his cool and act normally

Deep down you can feel there’s some awkwardness so you try to ask him silently, with your eyes or smile, if he’s ok

He loves you so much he feels dumb to even be jealous the second you do that honestly

Expect small pda like holding hands above your knees, playing with your fingers or the em of your shirt/ skirt

He’ll talk to you about it on your way back home or when you two are comfortable at yours or his place

He knows it’s normal to feel like this sometimes but it’s normal to reach for comfort right ? he’s not shy to ask

Nothings best than you playing with his hair, laying on your chest or thighs

Ryusei Shidou

He’s unhinged he scares me

I think he’s the most jealous among them

You’re his, that’s it so, he may seem lay back (and weird) but he’s cautious with every person coming near you

I hc him with abandon issues as well (give us his back story please and make it worth it compare to some character) so he’s always scared of you leaving

It’s still more in a possessive than an insecure way, he just can’t take it if he considered that someone is too close to you

He gets touchy oh my, he’s all over you, can’t keep his hands to himself just to let them know that you’re taken

He’ll talk to them straight in the eyes while his hand run up and down your thighs, he’s not ashamed of anything

You have to put a stop to it but always expected something more while coming home

Yo Hiori

He’s cute and I don’t think people take him seriously enough

You’re amazing and beautiful and fun to talk to, people already asked you why him

He kinda has war flashback ngl

Obviously he also think that he’s not enough and probably get jealous/sad quickly if someone get close to you and is really friendly

He’s scared to take things into hand I think, so he’ll just ask for you two to leave

He won’t tell you how he feels, he’s sure it’s not important enough to bring it up but you always ask him anyway

You’re so sorry that it happens at all honestly, you never want him to feel like this

He never ask for it but you’re clingy and want to do nothing with him, spending some quality time together, watching him play game while you stay on your phone or even sitting in his laps

It always make him feel better and remind him that you won’t leave him so soon

I hope you liked it ♡

[preposterousjams]

My opinion on the Latino Jason Todd headcanon

While I do understand ppl's criticism of the latino Jason todd headcanon and how its kind of racist to make the kid with parents with drug problems as the latino one, to me its more of a reclamation BECAUSE of DC's racism.

Read any 80s/90s batman issue that covers gang violence and drugs, most if not ALL of the criminals are poc; black people and latinos visibly make up the majority in the poorer neighbourhoods in Gotham. Aside from the caricaturist way they r drawn/speak, its not THAT weird cause its a reflection of irl big cities where immigrants and marginalised ppl are often forced to live in such situations, (like most of my dominican family lives in the bronx... it aint racist to say dominicans tend to flock there), BUT...the weird part is when the second a sympathetic character comes from that area, he's white and has a name thats "too fancy for the streets".

Obviously, Jason was created to look like the old robin, so I can't say that the whole "diamond in the rough" situation was purposely a tad bit racist, but its still a lil weird (especially with bruce's comment).

If Jason were a part of the overwhelming demographic in his area, the good-kid-in-a-bad-area trope has less connotations. DC is currently trying to fix this trope is by making crime alley whiter, which isn't bad but they could've just yk... humanised the non-white residents.

I also feel like the messed up way Jason was treated post-death is what makes him so relatable to latino readers. His tragic story of dying while trying to save his only living relative is turned into a lesson for newer vigilantes. Jason's particular disdain for abusers on a few occasions was twisted (by both writers and characters) into him always being dumb, reckless, cocky, angry and disobedient, always violent, never having been able to get over his upbringing. None of those things were true (he was a normal level of reckless and cocky like every other robin, not more), but its an easier narrative to digest compared to how it was in reality; a kid who worked so hard and loved even harder, died to save a woman who couldn't care less about his existence. He was an emotional AND smart kid who wanted so bad to help others get better but was remembered as too emotional (in a bad way).

THIS is the reality for many latino diasporas in day to day life; Theres no question that Latino culture is passionate and emotive, but people from other cultures assume that it is followed by instead of logical. both can coexist. emotion does not mean u have no logic. Emotions can be irrational but they aren't inherently that way, and I wouldn't say that the moments where Jason lashed out as a teenager were irrational (in og runs, not rewrites post red hood), they were mostly done to protect someone (going crazy on abusers, disobeying batman to save sheila, that time he got into a fight at school to defend his friend).

A lot of euro-centric culture is OBSESSED with the idea that rationality is separate from feelings and emotions, but not crying at a funeral doesn't mean you're better than those who do. Emotions are the basis of human ethics and morals, they define the way we interact as a collective and ignoring them does not mean they are not there. Theres no winner to a contest of who can feel the less. And the way Jason's emotions are treated (pre-rh, hes definitely unhinged afterwards lol) is so in line with how white culture tends to punish those who aren't ashamed to feel.

I TOTES UNDERSTAND that some ppl who headcanon Jason as latino are doing it for the complete opposite of reasons, like "oh here some angry emotional guy with druggie parents, haha must be latino". Its weird. I dont like it. And its only brought up so he can swear in spanish in some rlly bad text post where his emotions are getting out. But to me there's so much potential for metanarrative and commentary on how latinos are treated in media that can be exemplified through the way his character is treated. Being latino would add SO MUCH DEPTH to his character and his dynamic with the others.

[k0yaz]

MAAM CMERE SIT DOWN LISTEN

Arlecchino x Harbinger fem reader and they have the type of relationship where they’re always “bickering” but it’s just Arlecchino telling reader to stfu and reader replying with smth SUPER suggestive and out of pocket headcanons 🗣️

Please and thank you 💕

arlecchino with an out of pocket girlfriend hcs

Pairings: arlecchino x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, slightly suggestive, VERY short, I spent way too long at the fucking car dealership pls cut me some slack, I’m tired today, I love fellow arle fans but literally why are yall like the size of 5 nations omg, my spotify shuffle is so stupid I hate it, like wdym u keep playing the same song over and over.

A/N: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND READER IS LITERALLY ME BRO also I lied but I’m too lazy to spill oneshots today so this was the only hc fic I had and I decided to be lazy on it 🕯️

OH MY GOD SOMEONE SAVE ARLECCHINO

As much as this woman loves you, she always cringes so hard at your flirty remarks. Like you swear she PHYSICALLY recoils from you.

It’s ok though you’re the only woman she’d tolerate this shit from

Both of you would have a disagreement here and there, but doesn’t take long for that to turn into full blown back and forth bickering the second you to open your mouth.

Arlecchino asks you to stop in an embarrassed voice as she covers her forehead. She was totally hiding that she’s lowkey flustered.

BRO HER CHILDREN MAKE FUN OF HER SO MUCH IF THEY WALK IN ON THIS

Like you’d be there giving Arlecchino that smirk as you say something that’s so unhinged, and most likely Lyney would walk in to his father looking away with her face slightly red.

Then he tells everyone and ends up getting his ass whooped by Arlecchino-

OH MY GOD ITS SO MUCH WORSE IN FRONT OF THE OTHER HARBINGERS

You tease her so much in public and at harbinger meetings that everyone just stares at you two like a deer in headlights.

You maybe considered doing it in front of the Tsaritsa…but you did have to maintain your respect for her so you ultimately didn’t do it.

Doesn’t mean you don’t want to though.

Pretty much your convos would go something like..

“(Name), with all due respect, please shut your mouth.” “Maybe just gag me with your fingers or an actual ball gag to shut me up instead!” “What the fuck.”

IM CRYING THAT WAS FUNNY TO WRITE

Anyway all in all as much of a pain in the ass as you are, she still loves you :3

…and maybe sometimes she takes your remarks too seriously and yall get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂.

A/N: I genuinely apologize for making this so short once again I feel super drained today and plus I had no ideas for this my brain juice is dry 💔

[zephyrspace]

even if you have a rosary, who will save you now?

gn!yuu, very short headcanons + scenarios

summary: yuu accepts that there is no way home and that the world will keep turning no matter what. with no worth to their name and no real purpose in this twisted wonderland, except for solving other people’ problems, they decide to stop caring.

cw: swearing, violence, blood. dm me if i’ve missed anything!

a/n: title is translated lyrics from the song US by ruby ibarra. imagine yuu as however and whoever you want!

“woe is me, prefect! i just have so much paperwork to do that i completely forgot about your weekly food allowance. however, to speed things up a bit, if you lend me a hand here, i could probably get the allowance before the end of next week!”

yuu slinks over to one of crowley’s stacks of paperwork and ruffles through it. not without noticing how some pages were completely blank, ‘probably to bulk up and exaggerate the stack,’ yuu thinks and their eye twitches.

crowley gulps at being caught. but neither of the two say anything about it.

“i’m sure at your grown age you’re supposed to be able to manage your time better than this, but of course i didn’t expect anything from you.” yuu throws the binded document carelessly over their shoulder and onto the floor.

“wha-”

“as a minor under your care, this kind of thing could be considered child labour and abuse. especially for not prioritising my allowance.”

“but, prefect-”

“in other words, this isn’t my problem, bird shit for brains. so, unless you want me to call whatever magical bullshit equivalent you have of child protective services you have in this world, go ahead, give me your work documents. i would be ever so happy to oblige.”

the prefect’s eyes were icy and the atmosphere in the office turned chilly. crowley attempts to smarten up and clears his throat.

“i will have the cheque ready before noon.”

looking down at crowley, yuu sends him a smile with no trace of warmth.

“that’s better.”

unhinged!yuu wouldn’t actively seek out to fight people unless students do it to them first, which is all the time. kind of like ‘i’m nice to you if you are to me. but the second i deem you an enemy, you’re done’ mindset.

those who knew and were ‘friends’ with yuu, didn’t believe in their newly acquired attitude at the beginning, but after a group decided it’d be funny to poke at yuu a bit during lunch, that’s when they realise that yuu was serious about not caring for anything at all.

“oi, magicless runt.”

taking a bite from their sandwich, yuu looks up at the senior holding a tray of food, “hm?”

“get up.” the senior’s friends behind him snicker.

“why?” they take another bite. ‘i wish adeuce and grim would hurry up with their food.’ yuu thinks.

“there’s no more seats.”

“mhm?”

“as your seniors, we get priority.” the senior’s smile widens.

“hm.” another bite. “ish that shou”

with crumbs and sauce at the corners of their lips, yuu wipes it off with their thumb and licks it. they gulp down the remainder of the sandwich.

“sorry, senior. but i don’t see that rule anywhere in the canteen.” they swipe off the leftover crumbs on their hands.

“i thought you’d might say that.”

the senior picks up a bowl from his tray and dumps soup onto yuu’s head.

it’s still boiling hot.

it hurts.

“scram, first year. before i do something worse-”

the senior is on the floor, on his knees and doesn’t realise blood is seeping from his nose until it drips onto the tile.

by now, the whole canteen is silent.

he doesn’t even get time to process what happened until he feels a shin connect with his side and launches him onto another nearby table, his legs dangling off the side, uniform ruined.

“why you-” one of his goonies attempt to throw a punch back at the prefect.

yuu grabs his wrist and used the momentum to throw the senior onto his back. he chokes on the impact.

the rest of the group stays at their spots. ‘smart choice,’ yuu scoffs.

the prefect walks over to the first senior lying against the now abandoned table and grabs whatever food was on the nearest plate and forcibly stuffs it into the senior’s mouth. a whole bread roll.

“oh, senior! i see you’ve found a table to sit at!” the senior had tears along his waterline from the gag reflex of having a whole roll of bread in his mouth.

yuu shoves the bread roll further down the seniors throat. twisting and turning it. the senior makes sounds of retching and pain. “although, preferably, it’d be better to sit on the seat rather than on the table, no?”

the senior could only nod at yuu’s words.

yuu pats his hair demeaningly.

“good boy.”

in essence, yuu becomes very assimilated to nrc. scarily so.

[epicness1000]

17 REASONS WHY SAMPO KOSKI IS SUS

I'm not sure if I've come across a fictional character more horrendously sus than Sampo Koski.

Since I'm kind of hyperfixated on him (and Dr Ratio too), I will make a post on why our beloved blue scammer is very, very sus.

He is the only character to leave no trace when he walks. No splashes in water, no footprints in the snow. Literally no other character in the game does this.

All of his eidolons, save for one, are made up of two words and are very light hearted: "Rising love", "Infectious enthusiasm", "Big money!", "Huuuuuuuuge money!" and "Increased Spending", all of which reference either his love for money, or his warmth. The one exception is "The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Hate". What? What do you mean hate? We've never seen Sampo be anything but 'haha funny scam boi'. What a strangely ominous thing to say...

Not to mention the art paired with that eidolon. In every piece of art we have of him, you can see the light in his eyes– not here. The light's completely absent.

His defeat pose. Every character is either kneeling, or sitting down. Sampo is the ONLY one who is still on his feet. This must surely be intentional.

The fact that he's among the few characters with an invalid rating from the rating pistol (Alongside Acheron, Jing Yuan, Feixiao, March 7 and Luocha, all of whom are either extremely powerful, or have a completely unknown past as is the case of March 7).

He is the only character to directly acknowledge the player in-game (Sparkle did this in a trailer, but... it was a trailer, so it doesn't count until it's something in-game). Self-aware character? (This is my own headcanon >:)

He very clearly is not a Belobogian native, this is all but confirmed by the fact that everyone states he just showed up one day a few years back (something along those lines). So... where is he really from? His splash art doesn't seem to be Belobog either...

The fact that the trailblazer turned away from him for ONE SECOND, and he disappeared without a sound??? Like he was never there at all.

The entirety of Funny Bone, which shows a very violent side to Sampo. You CANNOT convince me it doesn't hold some element of truth to who he truly is, because if Hoyo truly intended for him to be harmless comic relief with little more to him, why would they play this song live in an official Honkai: Star Rail orchestra accompanied with the visuals? Would they really approve something showing him in such a dangerous, unhinged and dark light when we've never seen him like that in-game?

The fact that he's a Masked Fool. A Masked Fool who apparently has some moral standards, but a Masked Fool nonetheless. Personally, I suspect he wasn't always so mellow.

THAT WHOLE SCENE OF FIREFLY DESCRIBING HIM, HAVING KNOWN NOTHING ABOUT WHO HE WAS, AND MAKING HIM SOUND LIKE SOME SORT OF SKILLED ASSASSIN?? (I know it was a shapeshifted Sparkle but I think the point still stands. Also, this might just be me, but before I realised it was Sampo following us around, the way FF was talking about our stalker unsettled me and genuinely left the impression that she was talking about an assassin of some kind... wouldn't surprise me if this guy's hands have been stained red in the past).

The fact that his backstory snippets are all of him just goofing around disguised as Madame Poisson? When there's CLEARLY more to him than meets the eye?

THE FACT THAT HE'S ONE OF THE FEW CHARACTERS WHO IS NOT ABLE TO BOARD THE ASTRAL EXPRESS YET????? Even Sparkle can board, so it doesn't have to do with the fact that he's a masked fool. And I think everyone else from Belobog can board, so... hmm... sus....

We find him in the Belobog outskirts. I'm pretty sure it's noted that normal humans can't go out there unprepared without freezing to death, or something? I might be misremembering.

HIS LIGHT CONE! HOW COULD I FORGET HIS LIGHT CONE! Firstly, notice it's not just one sniper targetting him, but there is also a man in the corner pointing a gun at him. The art is called "The Eyes of the Prey", yet when you read its description, Sampo is unsettlingly calm, spotting the sniper from a distance with no warning (makes him sound like he has borderline supernatural awareness, which I think fits with the idea of him being 'self-aware'), and is noted to have more money than the hitman makes from multiple contracts. I think the title is also a subversion– with how in control Sampo is of the situation, surviving TWO simultaneous hitmen, it's quite clear that he is not the prey– rather, it's those who target him.

He knows things he ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT KNOW. The fact that he implies that Dan Heng is a dragon? Or his 'knowledge' voice line, which clearly expresses his awareness that we arrived by train (when he should not have this information?).

His eidolon activation phrase is "Everyone has a colourful past, wouldn't you say?" We know literally NOTHING about his past.

So, I'm not sure EXACTLY what this all means, but it's clearly pointing to something. Don't let me down, Mihoyo! You usually do, you filthy gacha bastards, but... try to do Sampo justice please.

[officialdaydreamer00]

Oh requests!

May I request tweels who are utterly whipped for their s/o? Just utter simps, someone save them. I've always felt like the Leech family would have Addams family vibes, and these two would be a pair of Gomez'

Remember take it easy and don't burn out! ❤

QUINN PLEASE THIS IS AN AMAZING HC I LOVE IT

reader is not yuu, reader is gender neutral

the passionate simp.

my personal favourite headcanon being merpeople only pick one significant other in their life. seems like you're the lucky one to be chosen by him.

will bite you out of love, most likely targets your neck or your arms, sometimes your shoulders.

isn't afraid of PDA, will kiss you in front of a crowd if he can. but he's willing to wait until you are alone.

LOVES cuddles. he likes seeing you so warm and snuggly in his arms, the perfect time to attack you with smoochies.

NOSE NUZZLES. intimate, he loves it, even more so when he gets to see your reddened face.

the ultimate bodyguard. always count on floyd to have his arm on you all the time. he ain't gonna have you stolen from him that easily.

heart eyes and dopey grins, he's whipped.

the absolute simp.

man's gomez addams reincarnated and no one can tell me otherwise.

handsome, gentlemanly, passionate, loyal, completely fucking unhinged. HE'S AN ENTIRE PACKAGE, HONEY.

when he falls for you, darling, he falls hard. you're not gonna get him out of the hole he dug for you.

will kiss you every time he sees you, even if he just saw you like 10 minutes ago, he's just gonna go "oh well" and smooches you anyways.

"Look at them. I will die for them. I will kill for them. Either way, what bliss."

PET NAMES. OH MY GODS. he will call you all sorts of nicknames, either good old-fashioned or oddly cute, for he intends to fluster you until you short circuit.

heart eyes stares and silly smiles, he's so smitten man.

taglist🏷️ @azulashengrottospiano @aqua-beam @siren-serenity @identity-theft-101 @dove-da-birb @moonlit-midnight @hisui-dreamer @xen-blank @taruruchi @cheezy-moon @minimallyminnie @axvwriter @krenenbaker @cave-of-jade @mermaidfanficlibrary @cookiesandbiscuits @jaylleoo14

reblogs are very appreciated!!

[universesweetheart]

I would love more chubby Dazai stories or headcanons if you have them! I also love the idea of cooking for him and feeding him and him having a cute chubby little belly! 💕

More to Love (Dazai x Reader)

In which dazai notices a few changes with himself

a/n: also never thought I'd be one of those people to write crazy unhinged author's note but here I am. I am soooo sorry it took literal months to reply to your ask but (buckle up) my mom died and I got laid off from my job so here I am, with the world of free time and a bucket of grief. Enjoy this short drabble!

My other dazai fics: here, here, here, here :]

Bye now - Mars ♡

After years of being together, Dazai notices he’s been gaining some weight, and his thinness is no longer visible.

Dazai has never felt at home with his body, but he also never cared about his size, or weight. He had much darker things to fill his time and days with than obsessing over his meatsac. His mind, his dark thoughts, his past, the blood on his hands, Odasaku.

When he started his relationship with you, it was all intense and consuming at first. Over the months, that passion has simmered into a softer slow loving. More deeply intimate.

Slowly his days merged with yours and your routines incorporated his. From making space in your closet for his clothes to always keeping extra rolls of bandages in your bathroom cupboard, and even tossing in canned crab into the cart when you grocery shopped. It all fell into place naturally. He was meant to be here, with you.

He noticed all the little adjustments you made with your space for him and he was grateful, truly. 

He also noticed how you’d slyly get him to take care of himself more. A sweet little ‘for me?’ easily did the trick. He was no match for your sweet tone and beautiful hope-filled eyes.

Dazai found himself changing slowly. He’d no longer drink sake first thing in the morning, instead he’d sit in the kitchen and entertain you with his dramatics and sweet words as you made a simple loving warm breakfast for you two. He especially loved when you’d make Korean sandwiches and shape the eggs into heart shapes. You were as much of a sap as he was. 

Osamu also started eating lunch. Not necessarily because he wanted to or he was hungry. But because he hated that sad disappointed look on your face when he didn’t eat the lunch you packed him. He saved all your notes and drawings, and he would share his meal with the young detective if he was having a particularly bad day and just couldn’t bring himself to eat.

When he got back home, all he wanted to do was sink into the couch and hug you and never let go. You’d whine about having dinner together and like a hopeless man in love he’d indulge you, even if it was a little treat. His favourite treat to indulge in was you. Ever the corny horny man he is. 

Over the years of being together he had noticed a drastic change in his eating habits. The biggest one being he actually eats now. 

And with eating, and a good loving, he inevitably noticed the weight he gained.

He’s not bothered by it. He’s even fascinated by the new softness of his body. And he’s flourishing in the added attention you give him. You seem to like this new weight. More of him to love, you tell him with a sweet kiss to his lips. 

He even went with you to buy new clothes for him. He obviously grabbed the opportunity to pull you into the changing room and absolutely wrecked you. Safe to say by the end of that shopping spree, you were full of cum, and his closet was full of new clothes.

Demands kisses and hickeys on the softer parts of his body and will not hesitate to moan wantonly when you cave and do it. Be sure to bite him too, gets him going. 

Press soft kisses and praise his newfound stretch marks and he’s folding you in two and hammering his cock into you, only to softly cuddle you after with whispers of love and affection.

[umi-adxhira]

unhinged gen z!reader with platonic!agriche family i beg i need to see their reactions to trying to square up against the monsters bc it was not very mindful, very demure, or very thoughtful to wake them up in the middle of the night to deal with this batshit insanity

TWTPTFLOB WITH A GEN-Z READER

AUTHOR'S NOTES: THISSSSS I love this and I love you. I made these platonic but then I realised I should make it into relationship headcanons

I. ROXANNA AGRICHE

Since she's also ikesai'd into the manhwa I'm guessing she also used slang in the way you do, but since she's growing up in a historical setting she can't use slang so forgot basically everything

Actually spits out her tea when you say something genz-y

"What do you need?"

"I need a tailor for-"

"OKAY PULL UP HOE 🗣🔥🔥🔥"

Asks you for the posh-y slang, like "paint me like one of your French girls" or "very demure, very mindful" so she can use in front of other Agriche's and see thier reaction

Will pull you by the collar if you square up dead in the night to fight some monsters because they interrupted your sleep

"COME HERE! YEAH YOU FUCKING PUSSY, TRY THE FUCK AGAI-"

"You have to be kidding me..."

Tries to get you out of trouble if you say things that others won't understand and gives you a little kiss on the cheek if you somehow make up a massive save or you start a trend

II. JEREMY AGRICHE

Doesn't know what the fuck you're saying like HUH???

Finds your vocabulary interesting, will accidentally pick up some things from you but he uses it in the wrong setting so you just stare at him like ???

"That pie was good actually. I liked the consistency and-"

"You ate and left no crumbs"

"...thanks pookie"

Because he loves you he will learn ALL the gen z shit you know and will achieve it to maximum potential to the point where if he ikesai'd into our world he'd fit right in

If this delinquent sees you trying to start a fight with a monster because it interrupted your sleep he would start laughing lmao

Then he'd realise you can't fight for shit and quickly comes to your rescue

III. DION AGRICHE

Doesn't care enough to ask you what you mean. Has though of using your vocabulary as a code signal, or to communicate similar to learning a different language

Will start bugging out if he asks what something means and you just won't say

"Skibidi toilet rizz!"

"What"

"Sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler 😛"

"What does it mean"

"You're so sigma"

"..."

Babes if you wake up to a monster you're not even leaving the room. This lunatic will pull you down back on the bed, leave the room locking the door and come back five minutes later with some blood on his cheek

Actually finds you funny but on everyone's soul he will not crack a smile

IV. LANTE AGRICHE

Kinda starting to regret marrying you. But you're his favourite wife so he'll let it slide

Enjoys how humorous you are, has no idea what you're saying but you laugh at your own jokes so there's that

"...and I gotta say, thy neighbour does not feel very loved right now" *laughs*

*let's out a chuckle*

If this scallywag sees you tryna box a monster because if interrupted your beauty sleep, he will kill that thing faster than you can finish your complaint

"YOU WANNA GO BRO??? YOU WANNA GO??? NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT- oh thanks dear"

Randomly gets hit with a wave of nostalgia on how you first met, you yelling at him to go suck his mum, while him trying his absolute best not to feed you to the monsters in the breeding grounds

©️umi-adxhira [22/10/2024]