#UGH SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT THEM
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Their relationship makes me feel so much emotions... during the war they are the personification of violence, they live to fight, the gun and the shooter, how can we even comprehend the millions of years they spent together, the entire history of humanity cannot compare to their story, they really do need each other
#and during peace they those feelings still persist#emotions i can only express in screaming#the second pic is from at fights end i swear i can talk about that story for so long#they have so many different versions of themselves but they'll always find each other#how it evolved over millions of years... So many things changed and yet it never does...#for better or for worse#ugh i love them#transformers#megatron x starscream#transformers g1#megatron#starscream#megastar#text#official content#macaddam#edited cause i was thinking about this while walking around in target and fkund my words
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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When Keith says he'd break the world in half to protect him, Lance says he'd put it back together for him.
Out of all the Universes they got to know, the other is still closest to home.
Prints on pre-order -> linktr.ee/mezzy
#klance#laith#lance voltron#keith voltron#voltron legendary defender#DO YOU Know how many notes i have on my phone that sound like halfassed love poems about how they exist#too many#though my currently fav one was not about them#but the series about 30 things Lance loves about Keith from Lances POV comes pretty close#ugh i feel them so intensely sometimes that if emotions could cut id gordian knot fix the world#no cap#the power of projection in fictional worlds is wild
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it's been over a week but i legit haven't stopped thinking about this
#because i think it doesn't just apply to book publishing but really any kind of writing#including fanfiction#especially in current fandom times when everything feels just so fast paced#and it's SO easy to fall into this whole mindset of believing you gotta keep up with this pace#a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things about the current state of fandom and i won't fall into a rant here#but i too often have to remind myself that me writing is supposed to be fun and not a fucking race#that i'm not competing with anyone#that i'm not creating 'content' to be consumed like some fast food#that there's no such thing as a flop fic if it was written with love and drive behind it#and yeah the jealousy man#it's an ugly feeling no matter which end you're on#comparison is a knife which we inevitably walk into#i love my writer friends to death and i will always always always cheer for them bc no one else will get this#but we're all just humans with very real and sometimes ugly emotions and i wish we could talk about this more openly#at the end of the day we want to be seen and acknowledged and we're our very own worst critics#ugh i have too many thoughts about this all#i need to lie down and feel normal again#lale.txt
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22 days until ode's 22nd birthday
day 22 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - ode's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#ode#oh seungmin#jungsu#jooyeon#gaon#junhan#jun han#gunil#kim jungsu#lee jooyeon#kwak jiseok#han hyeongjun#goo gunil#ode22#forfreddy#IT'S BIRTHDAY TIME! (scheduling this for midnight korean time again) (i hope we're getting many more brr ppoppos this year!)#happy birthday seungmin!! hope he's having a good time ♥#he's such a sweet and considerate guy. ugh the fact that he often cries when it's time to say goodbye?? relatable king but also SO SWEET#and ugh it's such an interesting contrast - the icy guy who leaves such a cold first impression seems to be so emotional. he cares a lot an#when i was at their concert there were two instances (i tried to keep it general rn but i just remembered this is kinda the personal part..#one time he was on the verge of tears - he just looked at the crowd and he was about to cry and UGH i wanted to climb up there and hug him#he was just so overwhelmed with seeing all these people supporting him and his band and UGH it's pretty nice to stan a band that appreciate#when you realize it actually MEANS something to them#the other instance was... at some point he asked us to take a step back. and i was wondering what the next step was going to be - jumping o#but he didn't add anything. he just wanted us to get more space so we'd be safer. and UGH it wasn't even necessary it wasn't super stuffed#and there was no immediate danger. there was no need to act but still he cared about us and he wanted us to be comfortable and safe#and that's super sweet and i think that's the kind of person he is. very considerate very sentimental. and that's amazing ♥
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#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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hello chat i am going to be a hater in tags for a moment (jst finished natlan act IV)
#snobrambles#wow /neg#i heard the story was bad but WOWWW#hoyo you are lost potential the company#you took the topic of war and had so many different routes and perspectives to look into and you went with power of friendship#I KNEW IT WAS POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BC I HEARD MOOTS TALK ABOUT IT BUT I DIDNT THINK ITD BE SO ABRUPT?#im not even mad im just mildly annoyed#there were parts i liked like where youd see differences depending on what you decide to do#like chosing to save one or the other and seeing the consequences#i thought that was neat#other thing i liked was diff chars talking about how witnessing all this scarred them but. i wish they fed into that more#and actually SHOWED that feeling rather than just going “wow! so im traumatized now”#and dude you couldve done more with the ancient names and mauvikas past.#like you couldve at least made it so that the six heros reminded her of the people she knew#give us a bit of sorrow instead of her walking around imagining her old friends and smiling bc tbh that made me feel nothing#and god the six heros thing did not feel well earned#its yae all over again in the sense that it felt like everything got solved way too easily#like wtf were all those losses for. it felt pointless#paimon getting emotional and us probably seperating in the next act was somewhat intriguing#i feel nothing for any of the chars except kinich but thats bc i find him funny#ugh. this story couldve been so much better#war itself is such an interesting topic in stories and it has so much potential and they absolutely fumbled and flunked it#also chuychus death was so abrupt and chasca crashing out made me laugh. sorry. ik it was supposed to be sad but i felt nothing#she was holding back her inner alpha wolf THE GACHA ALLEGATIONS ARE NOT ENDING#i felt nothing most of the time#the only strong feeling i felt throughout the quest was annoyance (cough mainly bc of citlali cough)#dude even the fake sky part felt underwhelming#i dont like how they brought it up out of nowhere and then barely adressed it#“anomaly” ok. ig. so what was all that buildup abt the fake sky for. only to show it and then shove it under the rug#i have more thoughts but tumblrs going to eat my tags to tl;dr: (furina voice) BOOOOOORING
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one year ago today i was in paris @ accor arena and am were about to come on stage marking the very first time i saw them live 💔 i genuinely get so emotional every time i think back to that night and to my lil paris trip. i miss them so much
#i was living in france at the time and over the months prior to the concert there had been so many strikes i was SO worried my train >#> to paris was going to be cancelled bc they were doing that a lot i was even ready to jump on the first flixbus and travel 8h+ overnight >#> just to get there in time. but thank god in the end everything went fine#i didnt allow myself to realise it was actually happening and i was actually about to see them until i was SEATED on that train and omw#and then i got the True Experience ™️ listening to taotu while travelling through the french countryside#and the concert was insane but that goes without saying. it was such a magical night#and i also fell in love with paris. miss her too#UGH i'm sorry i'm just so nostalgic and emotional tonight bear with me </3#ramblings#arctic monkeys#accor arena night 1#my show#💖💖💖
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i am officially, FINALLY all caught up again in both the manga and the anime for bsd and OH BOY there are thoughts and opinions but also WHO CARES because my tags are finally FREE to be unfiltered
#hnnnnnn#i am SO happy#i am BEYOND happy#i love the arc even if i complain about it a lot#but i am also hnnnnnn…….displeased……..with a few things#the anime fr about to catch these hands#i already KNEW they were rushing it from the few episodes i had watched#but the anime is usually SO good at pacing#that i fully trusted that certain things would be slowed down for significance/impact/etc#but instead the pacing just stayed WAY too fast for me#and they ended up cutting SO many small moments that had SO much importance like im going crazy about some of them#some of the lines they cut…….#or even adjusted slightly that it drew away the impact#ugh i KNOW there was a LOT to balance and a LOT of content to get through#but i am a little disappointed that so many emotional scenes were what ended up suffering for it#this is why i don’t usually like reading the manga for animes i watch#i always end up getting disappointed by the limitations of adaptations#that being said though regardless of general limitations i don’t think some of the rushing is above criticism#and i am going to go and eat glass while seething over the particularly offensive rushing/cuts😤#OKAY DONE that’s the last i’ll say about it i would just go crazy if i didn’t vocalize it somewhere#in general i was VERY happy with the arc in both the manga and the anime i have SO much love for it#definitely a favorite for me#and THAT concludes my very vague no spoiler review#i swear one of these days my self control is going to snap#and im just going to start posting my full essays and content analysis shit about everything i watch here#but for now we’re safe and all my rants will stay spoiler free tag paragraphs instead godbless🙏
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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okay i'm sorry i'm not done thinking about thoroughbreds kandrew. (hyping myself up) it's fine. it's fine. it's my blog with no followers & i can be as delusional as i want
#i want to make it work so bad.#miss popular kevin taylor joy & adopted brother/uncle... mister 'emotionless' ambiguous disorder minyard who has so many emotions in him...#ugh. but the horse is so crucial to the narrative. how can we insert a horse in andrew's backstory.#not that i doubt his ability to be a horse girl it's just that the upper class childhood friends setup leans kevineil instead#i believe in neil wanting kevin to be the one to get out between the two of them too so he's not Unviable per se#but the rest is so kandrew i want it to work for kandrew. love & sacrifice & betrayal & friendship#'...i did it because i think i loved you. because i think i still so. and because i knew how happy you could be—#so much happier than i ever could— but how tied down you were by your own fear and guilt.' (<- ENOUGH!!! ENOUGH!!!)#i think kevin has more love in him than lily too. which is worse unfortunately#s/o to mari i'm thinking about the passage in tnotg about andrew always thinking he'd die in kevin's arms#he would be laughing and kevin would be sobbing and wailing and it would be tragically comic! or perhaps comically tragic!#OHHHHH (CHASING AFTER MYSELF WITH A KNIFE)#sorry this is too niche. i have animals rotating in my brain#kandrew#mimithoughts
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It's the way that in every mv him with the scar got killed by him without it but not this time... This time his past self was running to try and save his future self
#does this makes any sense? idk ever since i've seen it my brain hasn't been able to form a coherent thought and write it down exactly#as it is#maybe that's how it's supposed to be because it's this personal..#so i kinda don't even want to try overthink it nor try to connect the dots#i'm just letting it be because even like that it's something i never would've expected#for a song personal as this to get a mv#and the said mv being so personal too#he just never fails to amaze me and that sounds so cliche i know because so many people say it about so many other people but it's true#he's been through way too much and he really gets it#all the pain struggles destructive thoughts and loneliness#and he takes all of those negative emotions to turn them around into comfort for the others#in telling you that you are not alone#and as long as he's around you never will be#ugh i feel like i could talk about him and this song and its music video for hours but like i said i'm not really able to express myself#that well right now so i'll probably just go on and on in circles and ramble#idk i'll probably delete this later anyway#i just felt like saying this now#agust d#amygdala
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The hardly noticeable tremor in his lower lip / chin after he cuts off on “like to spend—”. This scene killed me. This vulnerable desperation from Crowley killed me.
Aziraphale: “I’m going to move Heaven and Earth to be with you”
Crowley: “Who needs Heaven or Earth?”
We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?
GOOD OMENS - 2.06 Every Day
#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#ugh#Crowley’s confession#my whole heart#I have so many emotions about this that I literally cannot access them#they’re behind a mental paywall
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ugh i want to rewrite my timelooptav fic so bad because i got more cool ideas but i have no idea how i want to write this. there’s so many options. and i feel like i have to decide all of them before writing.
#i know my main emotional points but i need to work out the game plot ones#because the emotional ones use them as a springboars#UGH but i want to write more timelooptav.#ik that timelooptav is going to be head over heels for shadowheart but should she be hesitant bc last time shart became dj shart#or is she panicking because she can’t figure out what’s different about the times shadowheart has killed/not killed nightsong#because so many memories has made her lose it a bit#she can’t remember her life before the nautiloid.#i love you timelooptav.#saiph speaks
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Oh my god why am I thinking about GOT right now I literally haven’t thought about it since I finished s5 and decided I was done with it wtffffffffff
#got#game of thrones#the starks#I’m so emotional about them#why did so many of them have to die#ugh#arya remains my favorite though#forever and always#robs a close second#feral about them rn
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Oh god I’m crying so muchh… how am I supposed to tell the little girl all those years ago that she isn’t gonna end up with the person she thought was her soulmate. That it won’t work no matter how much she tried. You’ll never be that happy with them ever again because nothing ever seems to go right and the relationship wont ever be the same. and how the hell am I supposed to be okay with that forever
#like what do i do with the sweater i have from them#what do i do#i still cant help but wonder what it wouldve been like if we couldve been together without circumstances keeping us apart#but was i even really happy? i just keep thinking of all the good times#but i felt so miserable so often#i dont think i can thug this one out#ugh my head hurts the emotional turmoil#waiting for her to step out of her circumstances to hold a relationship w me doesnt work oh wow#cant believe that didnt work#at least im pretty when i cry sooo win for me#but waiting for your ex is never a good idea but i still did it cuz im dumb#I gave her the nickname she has on all her socials.#the person that makes me the happiest makes me the saddest#i spent so many hours crying over her#now i dont even want to talk about my day with them because they cant stick around for long#I feel so sad and stupid. It clearly was over when they would avoid me.#lord please let me love again#I wonder if they even think of it. If it haunts their waking moment if they’re making the right decisions like I am. How much it aches
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