#Twink Magnet

[alphalosophy-official]

We call it, the "Twink Magnet". #justSayin

[mindontheclouds]

i know it's probably the post race heat but oscar looks like he blushes and smiles shyly right after carlos entered the frame🤭🫵🏻

[thesesoldierboysarebi]

TF141 Types of Men they like Most (all of them are bi)

Ghost: looks-wise, he likes two types: a man who can keep up with him athletically— in other words, a fellow soldier— or a twink. He can’t resist a skinny academic type. I hc that this is because his first boy crush in secondary school was this adorable nerdy kid with big oversized glasses who tutored him in English and history. You never forget your first crush. As for personality, Ghost likes a man who’s gonna be a bit of a shit to him. Annoy him. Call him on his bluff! It’s good for him. But he also likes a sweet man, sweet and nerdy like his first crush. Maybe he’s just a nerd lover, who knows.

Soap: Johnny, like the rest of his squad, is never ever going to beat the allegations of blue collar/soldier men being attracted to alt/punk/goth types. So he tends to fiend over quiet, sultry type of men. He’s fine with them being bigger or smaller, but Emo and goth guys can Get It. Tragically, however, Soap’s only so far been able to successfully take home fellow gym rats. But he has hope! As for personality, well. He likes the more quiet and introverted type of guys to contrast with his loud, boisterous personality. But he won’t say no to a fellow sunshine boy.

Price: he realized quite late in his life that he was bisexual, so he’s had quite an exploratory period to try and determine what kind of men he likes. Generally speaking, he tends to veer towards fellow bears and older gentlemen, because he’s a little concerned about just how many twenty-something twinks and femboys he attracts, like a fucking porch light attracting moths. It’s ridiculous to watch when he steps into the gay bars. He’s flattered, boys! But he doesn’t want to date anyone more than eight years under his age. However, he has dated a young artist and goth or two. Physically wise, he likes someone shorter than him because he likes being the Strong One in a relationship. Personality? Same as with women, someone emotionally mature and kind who knows what he wants. And maybe mouths off to him to he can do some brat taming.

Gaz: oh, Gaz loves a himbo. He watched the Disney Hercules at a tender age and that Wonder Boy has lived in his brain rent-free ever since. He also likes nerdy types, like Ghost, and their taste in men often aligns without realizing it. He just likes a sweet, kinda dumb guy. In fact, for a while, I hc that Gaz harbored a small crush on Soap for similar reasons— before it became clear that Johnny MacTavish was just a little too rambunctious for him to handle. But yes, Gaz likes a well-built guy, likes fellow soldiers, likes another guy he can geek out about favorite movies and shows together. For Gaz, it’s a little more comfortable for him to develop a friendship with a man before pursuing a relationship. However, on occasion, Gaz can and will fiend for a dilf the way he fiends for milfs.

[sugarbear2001]

I need to speak about the way Sanji looks at Luffy in the kicthen sceen, like there is nothing straight about this. The boy just met him, and he is already whipped. Luffy is just that cute and charming he picks up every man he meets with ease.

[tropacant]

this was a wip I had started sometime last year, but never finished due to not really knowing what to do with it. originally, I really wanted to try and make them both have their usual body types- a bit more buff and broader shoulders- but after some time struggling to figure out the shapes, I gave up.

and, I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out, in a sort of ‘this was a joke drawing that turned out more like a meme’ kinda way. hence the title (I know neither of them really qualify as twinks in the show lol). but the vocaloid magnet meme has been around for as long as I can remember being on the internet for, and I thought Destiel would be one of the funniest ships to do the piece with (aside from maybe Crobby or smthn lmao)

[pummelingbat]

need to inform you that i am regrettably consumed by the meg/herbert agenda lately. in my mind they can be lezzie. they could be in yours, too, if you only let yourself be free.

[badlydrawn-brostrider]

Did dr.harley used to be a twink? If so you might be a twink magnet

BRO: What is it with y'all and twinks. Does everybody have to be a twink? Can they not be a twunk? A bear?? There is a whole ass spectrum, get creative at the very fuckin' least.

BRO: Last I saw that old man I was still scraggly 'n lanky, fresh outta my teens. The bastard was a goddamn mountain compared to me and that's sayin' somethin'. He's been out and about adventurin' and explorin' his whole life, I highly doubt he's what y'all envision when ya think 'twink'.

BRO: And I ain't one either, no matter what certain individuals say. Do I have to tell y'all to go outside 'n touch some grass again?

[dollgall]

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN i wna draw dans twink ex-roomie so bad but i hve responsibilities :'(

[deathbypufferfish]

Just took Miyu and Oscar sim spice....plus... Barry. I do not think I am allowed to post this my god

[silverstarssart]

Edwin the harem protagonist is collecting bitches left and right like pokemon. They saw a repressed Edwardian twink and said "I wanna be under that" and honestly good for them.

Twink magnet for lonely cats, crows, and nonbinary hoes

[conkreetmonkey]

The fact that Kevin Spooky Month has a Karkat fridge magnet heavily implies that he's a Homestuck. The fact that he also has cheekily doodled Bill Cipher on a sticky note reminding himself to "pay the bills" implies he's a Gravity Falls fan, and you know what kind of person is simultaneously into Homestuck and Gravity Falls?

A tumblr user. Think about it. He's a depressed, burnt-out white twink living in the early-to-mid 2010s, working a customer-facing retail job that he hates in suburban America, who's into Homestuck and Gravity Falls. Kevin is a fucking tumblrina. I'm almost certain of it. He probably has a Trollsona and reads fanfiction on AO3.

[sugar-petals]

I screamed when I saw Tim on your feed yes we love a pretty guitar man

finally a fellow Tim Henson enthusiast!! 🎉

guess we have a type (= overqualified youtube twink w/ a futuristic fashion sense aka the best young guitarist out there 🗣).

risky post incoming cuz he's HOT & i love hands

[for those who don't know who this pretty boy is: tim's yt | tim's ig | tim's twt | about his band polyphia]

i agree he's gorgeous: jealousy magnet, mr henson has it all!!

- the delicious ink 😍 (neck tattoo: the sign of a masochist)

- 0% gravity hair (those fluffy waves! looking so soft tim, geez 🤒)

- the sexy 8 string guitar, cause he can, how does he do that??

- the alt beauty (tim radiates haughty expensive power bottom who talks back to get punished ngl, he's prog rock's #1 it boy)

-the sweater game, all day, every day (unmatched)

-the best technique. ice cold (easily most proficient hands in the music biz as of lately 😏 people either 1. hate him to the death or 2. need him carnally for this lmao, love me a polarizing guitar prodigy)

-A WHOLE FEMBOY BODY (even his ass is huge as of recently!! and the waist keeps getting smaller helpp)

I'm going feral over his body linee don't @ me!! how smokin' could anyone be??

-the actual live skills, not just yt editing (needless to say! any straight or bi man should be able to move his fingers like that hhh there I said it 😂 tim keeps the standards as high as he is lmao)

-the studio (oh the things that should be happening on that chair! ...anyways: it's so modern but not boring, i like it)

-the stylish guitars with the floral fretboards (guitar fuckers assemble!!! finally nylon strings are back thanks to him 💕)

-even more gorge guitars YES model it for us legend!!

-plus he's got an all-round good taste in everything. quality is key! composition and character is always a matter of taste. but timmy never dropped a bad video, bad promo, bad album covers, bad vlogs, bad cinematography, bad advert, bad ig post, bad anything. he's always the sassiest gnc slayer short king golden boy in the room doing the most 👑

...and seriously tho tim being texan youth i respect him defying the status quo!! that's real rock'n'roll☝️ he dressed for women and tops on the internet just to serve and confound some boomers along the way! prince would be proud 😎

homophobes leaving him anti-androgynous/misogynist/bodyshaming comments just can't cope with the sexiness, which he never compromised🤘 i truly pronounce tim bi ppls' favorite. since apparently nobody except the guitar community wants him we now own this man 🔥

-BONUS: last but not least look at this silver ibanez. look at it! tim is a design and aesthetics icon i rest my case... that many people still don't know about him is beyond me. he deserves all the clout!

i mean even personally... he's the kinda guy where you don't know if you came for the looks/fit or the skills and you stay for both! his playing style never disappoints. i always look forward to him dropping new material. tell me what your fave tim piece to listen to is ❤️

[nostalgic-soda]

God I will never not be fascinated by Candybats. In any other fandom it would probably be a decently well known rarepair AT BEST but instead it’s THE Spooky Month ship. This is mainly because of a variety of combining factors (the writing on the wall, Kevin being a fan favorite that people REALLY wanted a ship for, Streber being an accidental fan favorite and massive angst magnet, Spooky Month having limited ship options, both being twinks with opposing energies) but god it genuinely is one of the most interesting case studies of shipping being a fucking wild card I’ve ever seen. Because like. Yeah Kevin and Streber have OTHER ships that are known like Jawbreaker and Gothicbats. But Candybats is just more…compelling to study. Not even saying it’s a better ship but the circumstances around it make it so unique to me. I genuinely cannot stress how interesting it is to me that something like this can happen. It is a ship born purely out of fanon. And yet it is the most popular ship in the fandom. All three of the ships that arguably compete for that title, Goldenlavender, Smokeydonuts and arguably Bitterpopcorn have like…canon relationships to go off of. But Sr Pelo has actively stated Kevin and Streber don’t know each other. Yet that didn’t stop fanon. Can anyone hear me. I’m going insane.

[ghostbustting]

Hii :)

could I request smth for Izzy (gnr) where reader is one of Duff's siblings and Izzy's into her, and she's been picking up on that but thinks that it's impossible because she finds herself to be really plain/boring (not insecure per se but confused), so she kind of ignores his advances and eventually he gets really frustrated and when theyre alone he kind of bursts and tells her to just reject him out loud instead of leading him on, and then frustrated smut ensues?

😭sorry if this is overly specific

have a great day/ night! -🕸️

Finally a request for my man SHJSBSJABA🙈

╰┈➤“𝑾𝑨𝑰𝑻 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝒀𝑶𝑼„ ๋࣭⭑

Izzy Stradlin x McKagan!Reader

Contains Smut

The coldness of a typical December’s night always had it’s way to get to me, despite being someone who would enjoy playing around in the snow all winter. Layers of sweaters is a must in this season, obviously. Though usually, in these type of situation, I’d burry myself under a whole bunch of layers of blankets, take a hot bath, or make myself something warm and comforting to drink.

This time, I decided to make a hot cup of coffee, craving that slightly bitter taste on my tongue that would warm up my throat and my stomach from all the freezing weather out there in the world.

Walking into the kitchen of my own house, I was greeted by a raven black hair, that was obviously dyed, standing in the way, a figure blocking my way from the kitchen counter, a figure that’s clearly not a part of my family.

I swear to God, I don’t remember my brother Duff being such a fucking twink, dye his blond hair into raven, and losing a few inch of his giraffe-like height.

Then it took me awhile to realize and get it in my head that the guy standing in front of me was Izzy Stradlin, one of Duff’s stupid bandmates. I sigh in relief to know Duff hadn’t gone that dumb as to go all black hair and lose what he would call his ‘chick magnet of a height’.

“Excuse me,” I say softly, rushing past Izzy in order to grab my mug from the top cabinet.

I never really found the right words to describe the Jeffrey Dean Isbell. He was.. intriguing, in a way, always had been. The first thing I noticed about him was his slightly mysterious demeanor of staying quiet most of the time with his literal monkeys and baboons of friends, including my brother obviously.

The second thing I noticed was the way he would just sit back with a cigarette casually sitting between his lips, the way he play as a rhythm guitarist in their band, the way his fingers strum those chords, the way he dresses so oddly appealing.

At first I always thought I made a bad first impression on him to the point he didn’t talk to me a lot when I was around, but lately I found myself thinking it’s a whole different reason.

Because the third thing I noticed about him is the way lately, he’d look at me up and down each time I enter the room or walk by him, he started talking to me, praising me now and then— not too subtle, but not too hidden for me to be oblivious about it. He’d throw his cigarette away when I’m nearby, knowing I’m not a smoker, he’d also mess up his guitar chords when I’m at their practices.

I’d respond with the same thing, small smiles, small chit-chat, assisting him with his guitar when one of the strings broke, making lunch for the band, my eyes meeting him when I hand his food. The little antics he’d put on whenever I’m around him starts to make me get my hopes up and think he might actually be into me.

But when I think about it again, I find it impossible. Why would he? He hung around groupies, his band’s back dancers, random club whores. And out of all those choices he just happen to be interested in me? As far as I concerned, I was plain. Boring. I dress just like all other girls, yet I always failed to make myself look as attractive as they do.

Looks aren’t really something I prioritize that much. But I can’t help but find it confusing how he acts like I’m special to him. Or perhaps he treats every other girl he’s comfortable with like this.

So with my doubt, I decided to just ignore his little shenanigans.

I start to make my coffee, stirring it till it’s completely mixed nicely. I can feel Izzy’s gaze on me as I do so, hearing a sigh from him while he stay standing there like a statue, his lips slightly parted as if words were urging to slip past them and into my ears.

There always were some sort of different vibe washing over both of us whenever it’s just us two. The clock was ticking, we were quiet yet the tension speaks loud enough for us. I try to stay quiet and keep my eyes on my coffee as I lift my mug up to my lips and take a sip.

A sigh escapes me as the freshly made coffee warms up my throat, licking up the liquid that managed to drop on my lip, a pair of eyes burns a hole at the side of my head like a magnifying glass using the power of sunlight.

Only, there is no sunlight. The reminder fills me with coldness again as I blow air into my hand and rub them together, desperate to feel heat forming in my palms. That’s when I hear his voice, “Are you feeling cold?” His voice was monotone as usual, but if you hear closely you can hear just enough genuine care in that same exact voice.

Or I was hallucinating again.

I nod my head quietly, “Mhm.” My answer came out shorter than how I would usually answer his questions or statements, not even looking up at him even though I’d always look into his eyes so deeply in our conversations.

I hear him sigh yet again, leaning against the counter next to me this time as I take another sip of my coffee. I slowly raise my head to look up at him, trying to find out what emotion he’s feeling at the moment, yet always finding it hard through his casual straight face that he wear most of the time.

“You uh.. a coffee person?”

I raise an eyebrow at his random question. It’s not the first time he did this, but it just feels so awkward this time. Looking down again and shrugging with a nod, I hum “Mhm..”

“You look lovely tonight.”

My heart stops and my cheeks turned slightly pigmented with a tint of pink. For a guy so quiet and closed most of the times, I find it flattering to hear him compliment me like this. His choice of words; “Lovely” makes my mind get dizzy. But I had to remind myself that he was probably just being nice.

With another nod and a small voice, “Thanks..” I spoke, “You—”

This time though, before I could start speaking more, he cut me off with a small groan as his hand rub his face, “Jesus, just reject me already..” He muttered under with a sigh that sounded more irritated than the previous sighs he let out.

Lifting my head up, my eyes met his green ones. He throw his head back and roll his eyes, sitting slightly on the edge of the counter. I gulped and slowly answer him, “Sorry? I don’t understand what you—”

“Oh don’t act fucking dumb.”

Taken aback by his words, I lean back and tilt my head. “Excuse me?” I scoff, raising an eyebrow at him in a way of showing the way I feel offended by his words. I have no idea what his problem is with me. At first he compliment me, and now he’s acting irritated all of a sudden?

He laughed bitterly and look at me, “This. This is what I mean.” He spoke, pushing his slightly greasy raven hair back with his fingers. There was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, as if he’s hesitant to continue his sentence, his eyes turning back down to his shoes. “You know what you’re doing. It’s not fair, you know? You- you look at me with those fucking eyes, talk to me, lead me on and at the end you—”

“What?!”

I blurted out a little too loud. My eyes widen as I almost spat out the coffee I was previously sipping on. I didn’t expect him to say that. Leading him on? How did he get that? Was I really giving that impression on him? Despite finding myself getting flustered by his antics here and there, I was never the type to flirt first. I can never bring myself to make a first move.

Izzy let out yet another shaky sigh as he ruffle up his own hair, messing it up a little. He seems oddly frustrated, a hint of uneasiness in the way he stand. “What? You clearly know I have a thing for you and- and—”

“You have WHAT?” I cut him off yet again, my eyes widening even more to the point they might pop out of their sockets. His words rang in my ears again and again, a feeling of disbelief washing over me when I realize what he said. “I.. I didn’t know..”

As conscious as I was all the time of his small gestures, I would’ve never thought my assumptions would turn out to be true. And even now, I don’t even know whether he was saying the truth or just meaningless words to me just to play me in the end like rock stars like him would typically do to any vulnerable girls that came across their way.

I took a step back and lean against the kitchen island behind me, my hand coming to rest on the edges of it as I look down and try to process the situation again, or rather trying to decide whether he was genuine or not, very careful with my decision.

He’s kind, always was. I never had a problem with him unlike Duff’s other friend that would start an argument with me every little minutes. Izzy was rather.. closed yet considerate towards me.

“You don’t believe me huh?” He started again, sighing. I look up at him, my eyes giving away the hesitance in me. Then, Izzy slowly start walking my way, sending a wave of nervousness in me when he got even closer, all the way till he’s right in front of my face, his hands besides mine on the edge the island.

With this proximity, it was so much easier looking at the small details in his face, how lighter the green in his eyes seems to shine, the nose piercing that’ll look somewhat invisible if you don’t look close enough, the smallest imperfection in his almost perfect face, at least that’s what I see when I look at him. I didn’t even realize how he’s slowly leaning even closer into me.

Looking down at me, he ask, “Does your brother take long when he go out?” His voice is now slightly smaller, my eyes slowly avoid his gaze and look at the floor instead as I nod my head to his questions.

“..Then will you let me prove my feelings before he comes back?”

My heart beat accelerates on it’s own, my chest heaving up an down as I take deep breaths and let them out in shaky and heavy ones. I found it hard to speak with how nervous and aroused he makes me. He was older than my brother, let alone the age gap between him and me. But I really can’t help this overwhelming feeling building up inside me.

One small sex. That’s it. If my feeling say it’ll go south, then I’ll bury this memory away.

“..Fine..”

And with those four letter word, something switched up in him, as if he found it as a green light. His hands immediately went to my cheeks, cupping them as he connect his lips to mine.

My eyes light up before slowly fluttering close with the feeling of his slightly dry lips rubbing right against mine, my hips being held close to him by his hands.

All the concern I had floated away when his tongue swiftly slips past my lips and meet mine, making me gasp a little at the taste of him. He tasted.. oddly sweet.

Or perhaps it was just the lust in me that made me feel all these kinds of feelings. Nevertheless, I was loving it. Too much, perhaps.

My arms snakes up and wrap around his neck, pulling him in even closer as he lift my hips up and place me to sit on the kitchen island, my lips staying on him the whole time.

I can feel his hands on my thighs, he was massaging them while slowly parting them, pulling me closer to the edge of the island while his fingers trails up to the waistband of my pants.

My eyes widen and I pull back from the kiss before I place my hand over his to pause him, he looked over at me and press one last peck on my lips, “Trust me.” He whisper, his voice way too reassuring to deny, “Please..?” His eyes stays on mine while he slowly kneel down on the floor.

The breath I exhaled became more heavy and shaky by the time he pull down my pants, letting it drop to the floor with him, the only thing stopping him from getting to my cunt is the already soaked fabric of my panties.

I watch silently as he lean closer to my clothed cunt, his finger lightly running up and down the soaked part of my panties, making me gasp when I can feel his finger right through the thin fabric.

Slowly, he began to pull down my panties. I was already forgetting how to breathe when he place the panties close to his nose, taking a good sniff of it before shucking it into his pocket.

Then.. I yelped when he dove into my pussy like there was no tomorrow, pulling me by my thighs and placing them on his shoulder.

My back arched when he began sucking on my clit harshly, two of his fingers making their way between my folds, pumping in and out of it while I make the dirtiest noises ever that echoes right through the empty house.

My hand reach up and hold onto his hair, pulling his face closer. “Fuck! Izzy..” I moaned, my legs shaking as he continued on and on with his action.

His fingers worked like magic, curling up at the perfect position that can pull out even louder noises from me. Meanwhile his mouth continued to suck and nibble on my clit, driving me insane with pleasure.

I can already feel a knot forming in my stomach, grinding against his fingers and face as I reach closer and closer to my release. “..’M close..!”

That’s when he pulled back and stopped my release.

I look at him with wide eyes, “Wha- why’d you stop?” I panted out, my legs still shakint from how much he drove me insane just by using his mouth and fingers.

But by the time his pants along with his boxers fall down to the floor, I knew I was in for a main course. My eyes widened yet again when I noticed the size of his cock and how it curves up a little.

Suddenly, he pushes me to the middle of the island before climbing up on it himself, towering over me while his hands were pinning my shoulders down to the hard cold surface where I would usually find myself use for eating.

My eyes stays on him the whole time while he held my hip in one hand and the tip of his cock in the other, he seems very.. concentrated.

I held in deep breaths when he start pushing through my folds and into me, the both of us let out groans of pleasure from the new feeling while he slowly push in even deeper.

“Iz..” I whimper as my back arch when he managed to get all of his cock stuffed inside me, both of his hands on my hips now as he starts to thrust in and out of me. His length stretched me out, my small whimpers becoming moans.

Izzy himself moaned when he found the right pace, speeding up his movement. “You’re so tight.. fuck..” He grunted out, his hold on my hips becoming firmer.

When he lean down to kiss on my neck, my hands immediately flew to his back, clawing on his shirt and taking it off him before I throw it away. His cock continues to pump in and out of me, hitting the right spots every single time.

I moaned and held onto his back, my nails surely leaving scratch marks on his skin. My lips parted when his hips starts ramming back and forth into me desperately, my legs shaking from how fast he was going. “Fuck!” I cried out, trying to pull him even closer to me.

His face was burried deep in my neck, I didn’t even notice how he had left a secret mark right behind my ear, whispering, “I want you.. I wanted you for so long.. why can’t you fucking understand that..?” He grunts in my ear, his voice a sweet melody my ears record to remember for another night.

“Faster.. faster please..!” I moaned out.

And that’s exactly what he did, he lean back up and hold my hips even more tighter, I was sure his fingers would be leaving a mark. His hips starts ramming even more fast, not faltering even for a second. He just kept going.

He was able to let out the sweetest yet dirtiest moan out of me, making my bsck arch at the same time as my fingers try to find something to hold onto, to which he offered out his hand for me to hold.

I gripped onto his hand and arm tightly, “So good, so good..” I cried out, squirming still underneath him.

That’s when the knot from earlier returns even tighter now. This time I just cannot hold it in any longer, “I’m coming..!” I gasped out when my release came gushing out of me, dripping down my cunt tha’s still being pumped by him.

“Oh shit.. mm.. shit shit!” Izzy suddenly pulled out and grip his cock tightly on my stomach, jerking himself off till white streaks of his cum flew out, messing up my shirt.

He then slowly fall onto me, he wasn’t that much of a buff guy, so his weight didn’t surprised me that much. I slowly wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close to me as we pant for breath, still shocked from our deeds.

He was the first to speak up, his voice becoming soft yet again, “Sorry about your shirt.. and the island..” He whisper, “I’ll clean them up..” His head was resting my chest, ear pressed onto my skin as he listen closely to my heartbeat.

“Don’t worry.” I whisper back and stroke his hair with my fingers, feeling the softness of it.

That’s when he look up at me and let out a shaky breath, “So.. what- do you believe me now..?” He ask, a hint of hope in his eyes that are silently pleading with me to say yes.

Looking away, I sigh and close my eyes, my mind trying to come up with the correct respond to voice out. “I don’t.. I don’t know..”

Looking back at Izzy, I can see all the hope in his eyes crushed up as his head fall back on my chest. I continue to run my fingers through his hair, feeling a sense of guilt for crushing his hope within seconds. “I’m sorry..” I whisper.

“It’s okay.” He shook his head, mumbling “I’ll wait for you..”

Though my mind made my answer unsure, there was something nudging me in my heart, something telling me that this boy on my chest was being genuine. I couldn’t help but look down at his face, his eyes closed and he looked so peaceful. My heart had an urge to accept him into my world, but my mind told me to wait for the right moment.

[froglover7789]

its come to my attention that a lot of my thoughts about mr lukesguyliker make it seem like i think hes some kind of useless twink and i would like to clarify that that is NOT what i mean ever.

bro is very competent. bro is super strong. bro is genuinely terrifying. but also......... he is a certified drama queen who loves to complain and a certified trouble magnet. i think a lot of people mistake that and his lack of stoicism as weakness/submissiveness.

i have a deep hate for people who make him all meek and hyperfem and shit. ive seen a lot of shit that infantilizes him and it just pisses me off esp bc so many mlm ships end up falling victim to the big strong daddy and weak little baby stereotype bullshit. like nah. fuck outta here. literally who are you talking about. bro races the space equivalent of cars and goes hunting for fun. bro has a kill count in the millions. bro could kill you with half a thought. he dont need some daddydom freaky weirdo to do everything for him. he needs an equal who isnt scared of him.

[goqmir]

in my dream i imagined a world in which the most popular tv show in america was a drama/dark comedy about several neighborly families now vying for scraps of sustenance in a bloodborne-esque apocalyptic city where they have all died and gone to a torturous underworld. and the main character is the dork nobody really liked in any family who arbitrarily escaped death by hiding his soul in that of an automaton.

this tv show was the result of a brand deal where the artist Drake got really into painting somewhat gothic portraits of imagined characters during the 2020 lockdown. Wal-Mart offered Drake an exclusivity deal to sell prints of these paintings that included a personal studio, and Drake requested for his studio a hole so deep in the earth that they can use magnets to make the canvasses have zero gravity. americans lapped that shit up and Wal-Mart began releasing ads of Drake in his dark and cavernous underground warehouselike studio where he would paint mildly gothic portraits on floating canvasses held down to the floor and walls by a series of trusses from Roblox and cables from Teardown. these portraits were astoundingly popular and a similarly successful TV show was produced by Wal-Mart using the characters Drake would paint.

during the dream, I lived this TV show through the eyes of the twink main character. I escaped from the underworld pits by hiding in the body of a Wizard101 wooden automaton, and began wandering the streets of the gothic city it took place in, meeting still-alive members of the group of families the portraits depicted. A little before my death, tragedy struck the families and they had a falling out. During my dreams i had to watch all of these tragedies in grim detail, which I depicted as fairly funny in my head to the average american but like. i never really found death or suffering that funny even if a character dies by a series of slapstick events. so it kind of just sucked for me to have to bear witness to it.

every time a new character would appear, the original Drake portrait depicting them would be shown on screen. every character had the name of a Universes Beyond Magic: the Gathering card-- Graham O'Brien, Rosie Cotton, that sort of thing, even though they weren't related to the characters.

there was a segment where i could choose to revive anyone from the underworld that wanted to leave, and I saw the cartoon shadow of a cute babe from behind a boat winking at me and flirting with me. I chose her cuz i was like woahhh i love women but when I revived her I realized it was actually Evie Frye, my rival in life who was close to me as a child but drifted apart from me after witnessing the comedically gruesome death of her father. the dream then played out that death in a flashback sequence, which was sickening enough to me that it woke me up. and then I spent 30 minutes writing this post and that's been my morning so far.