#Tumblr somehow posted this itself and the sending this as a private message

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Due to a glitch in Tumblr (thank you very much, for fuck's sakes), the question was posted as a private message, can't return it. but thanks to @mazal22 , for whom I wrote the answer and was able to copy my notes. Bless your heart 🙏🙏🙏

Question: "I came up with a brilliant idea.. how about headcanons with bachelors and bachelorettes with a farmer who has a young brother/sister? That they look after him and they're just cute? Wild? Have some magic? I honestly don't know but think this just cute"

I decided to write in a new format, but still not sure. Because I couldn't decide whether to write short stories, a regular headcanon, or as a shitpost. In the end, everything was mixed together like in a salad. But anyway, I hope you like it)))

Be warned, this post is very long... Like wow

SDV and SVE bachelors:

Alex:

Oh, a new fan of the future athlete? Does they want an autograph or something?

Mmm? Raise that bench? Sure, not a problem! Now that heavy stump? With ease! Want to see what heavy things I can lift next? Something else? Lewis car? Hah, no probl-

"Alex, put my vehicle down!"

Alex is ok with the kid running around.

He notes to himself that it is quite brave and responsible of the Farmer's side to take care of the younger sibling and run the farm at the same time.

Sometimes he treats the child with ice cream from the kiosk in the summer.

Falls into a stupor if the child says that they believes in him that he will become a sports star.

...

If one of the tourists offends this kid, he will deal with Alex too, and not just with the angry Farmer.

Sam:

Sam became like a big brother to the Farmer's sibling.

He will definitely introduce them to Vincent so that they befriend and play together.

Buys them ice cream and gives them a ride on his skateboard.

Sometimes rolls them on his shoulders if they ask.

Vincent gets a little jealous and now Sam has two kids on his shoulders

It's not hard to guess that they all fell to the ground.

Sam doesn't mind watching the kids if the Farmer is too busy.

Best brother material!

Elliott:

Waking up in the morning, Elliott decided to take a walk and get some fresh air. He did not look out the window, knowing that the weather would be fine today. But in vain.

Around his house is a wall of sand.

"Your realm will soon fall before my sand army. Surrender, king of the elves."

Elf? Who is this child?

Ah, that's Farmer's sibling.

Well, Elliott understands a little about theatrical art, why not play along with the kid.

He always plays along with the siblings when they play games like this. The little one got talent, you could send them to art school, Farmer!

Allows them to braid his hair if the child asks. Just please don't pull his hair too hard!

Elliott is like a big thoroughbred noble dog: he will endure all the antics of children and will never bark.

Shane:

Despite his rudeness to the Farmer at the first meeting, he is neutral towards their sibling.

The chaotic younger sibling of the chaotic Farmer... Shane isn't sure if it's worth introducing them to Jas.

But children are children, so Jas and Farmer's sibling managed to become friends anyway.

Shane doesn't mind.

He and Farmer also began to communicate more, as two singe parents.

Although at the same time, Shane claims that he is a useless godfather and guardian.

"Uncle Shane is lying, Mr./Ms. Farmer."

"Shush, Jas."

Both Shane and Farmer now need to make sure the two kids don't get into trouble together.

Sebastian:

Acts like an awkward uncle.

How to communicate with children?

...

Do you like frogs?

Sebastian will show them his little terrarium, and will be happy if Farmer's sibling is excited about the amphibians.

He will also show his exclusive collection of comics.

Sebby, of course, is constantly on social networks, but he did not expect the child Naruto running around him.

They made Sebastian laugh, although he thought that nothing in this world would make him laugh.

Total chaos, but Sebastian is pretty cool with that.

Secretly too, Naruto runs with the sibling if they ask to join.

The Farmer caught Sebastian during this run. Busted!

Harvey:

The Farmer's sibling is a frequent visitor to the clinic.

Oh, nothing serious, just scratches on their knees and bruises on their arms. Children often run without looking under their feet and this child is no exception.

Always gives them sugar-free candy after sanitizing their scratches.

Sometimes the sibling just walks into the clinic to say hi to the uncle doctor.

Sometimes brings gifts for the doctor.

From an older sibling - vegetables and fruits.

Sometimes from themself - a cool shell or dirt.

Harvey doesn't know how to react to this. But thank the child anyway.

Victor:

He also acts like an awkward uncle (behind Sebastian in first place), but knows what to do with an energetic child when the Farmer is busy.

He has a lot of video games, what do you want to play?

Wait, they want to play a bridge simulator? They think this is an interesting game?

This is now Victor's sibling. Deal with it, Farmer.

Confused when a child does something chaotic but will support them (unless it's something dangerous, of course!).

Victor is confused, but he got the spirit. I give him 8/10 as brother/uncle material.

Lance:

Lance doesn't know what surprised him the most: the presence of a child in the Adventurers' guild, or their requests to show "fire in the palm of your hand."

He turned his head towards Marlon with a questioning look.

"Farmer's sibling. They asked to look after the kid for an hour while they clear the caves of monsters."

Oh, they have sibling?

Still, Lance gave in to the child's requests and formed a small fire sphere in his right hand.

"Awesome! See what I can"

They formed a similar sphere in their palms, but the elements of ice.

Hold on, what?

Although, remembering the event with the Farmer on Ginger island and learning about magic relics, Lance is not so surprised.

"Two talented young and chaotic mages, that's more of a headache for Magnus" Marlon thought as he watched it all.

"Indeed" Lance agrees and smiles.

Magnus:

Please don't touch this. Don't touch that either. Those books are very old, be careful! Please put the mushrooms back, he needs them for potions. For heaven's sake, stay out of his cauldron!-

Yoba, why does Magnus suffer so much.

First, Camilla with that ridiculous nicknames, blasted woman! Then Morgan almost burned down his tower, and then the Farmer and Junimos do something without warning the wizard.

And now this child. Child with magic. A walking chaos and troublemaker.

With magic and desir- put this potions back! - desire to poke their nose everywhere.

And yet, the child is kind, gets along well with Morgan, and is very talented, and...

No, don't touCH THOSE POTIONS-!

Somebody kill him.

SDV and SVE Bachelorettes:

Abigail:

At first she avoided the child. She is not a babysitter.

Then Farmer's sibling became interested in one of his older sibling's professions.

And saw Abigail again, asked if she was an adventurer too. They also want to become a warrior, and as cool as the Farmer and her.

Abby is now informally the child's mentor. No buts.

She realized that they are quite fun to be with, and they also love video games, another plus.

Abby will show them the cool crystals she found in the mines.

The child tried to bite off a piece of quartz.

Are they definitely not Abigail's distant relative, another "just taste the gem" lover?

But seriously, don't eat rocks please.

Penny:

Another young mind in her class.

Penny is very happy about the addition to her group.

Although this means more work with materials for the preparation of the school curriculum.

They are very smart and educated.

Although they give Penny a heart attack every time they climb a tree or get too close to a river bank.

Penny is like a mother hen, she doesn't let anyone go far.

She always helps them if they have learning difficulties.

Like the other children, she escorts the Farmer's sibling home.

The child always brings a beautiful and juicy apple to the young teacher. And sometimes a whole basket of apples.

Maru:

If you have problems with maths, Maru will help them.

Do you want to see the robots she makes?

Can I make the robot say something? Of course!

Makes a robot to... curse?

...

So, how old are they?

(Secretly also wants to give the robot such a function, but her father will not get it).

Gave them a couple of times to look through the telescope. With joy, she answers what kind of stars and planets they are.

"Aunt Maru, help build Lego"

Oh, with her, sibling will gather a separate civilization.

Teach them scientific puns.

Leah:

Leah's house door is now frequently knocked on.

"Aunt Leah, show me your new paintings, they are beautiful".

Well, how can Leah say no?

If the Farmer is busy then she can look after their sibling.

Mostly they are in nature.

Paints and clean sheets - and let the child create a miracle.

Sometimes they walk through the forest, where Leah shows them which berries are edible and which are poisonous.

Very proud of them if they already know.

She gets a good mood, and a basket of vegetables in gratitude from the Farmer - the day was a success.

Haley:

Haley is quite polite towards children, even if they are as chaotic as the Farm Relative.

Doesn't get mad at them even if they accidentally stained her clothes.

Periodically takes random photos of this running child.

It turns out very funny, you can make a good meme from this pictures.

And why not do it? But only of the Farmer themself and their sibling will allow it.

Now the kid is the star of the Internet.

Chaos of the Valley

Once she received a sunflower from them.

Haley will never forget this touching gift.

Scratch out the eyes with his new manicure to any bully who dares to offend them.

Try her, bitch.

Emily:

Always glad to see Farmer and their sibling at home.

She usually spoil the child with healthy sweets like pastille or sugar-free marmalade.

Emily can sew anything for them.

Do you want to be a pirate? Or an astronaut? Or maybe a vampire? Oh, or make a dinosaur costume.

Believe me, she is hung up on sewing. The main thing is to find a reason and time.

Can teach dancing or aerobics if the sibling asks.

He will tell you how to read a horoscope correctly.

Sibling will one day show her the magic in their palms.

Ah, Farmer! They are a wizard!

They are what?

Claire:

Please, child, Claire is trying to work. She is so tired

Don't ask her too many questions.

Where are their parents?

Ah, here they are. Well, not parents, but brother/sister, a new Farmer. The Farmer explained to their sibling that they should be well-mannered.

"Oh, okay. Sorry ms Claire".

Before and after work, she sees this child, but they are no longer clingy.

They greet her politely and move on.

They often give Claire dandelions they find and say she has a beautiful hair color.

A little angel.

They immediately cheer up Claire if she is depressed.

Given that the farm is very close to the bus stop, such meetings happen often.

Sometimes Claire treats the child to fresh apricots and apples that her neighbors gave her.

Sophia:

Oh hey.

...

How can Sophia talk to them?

Do you want to watch something cool on TV? I have anime, anime and... animal documentaries. Oh, and I also have anime.

With great pleasure, she will show them her cosplay.

Receive a small soft toy from the child as a gift.

"your toys will make another friend"

oh it's so cute

"And you have pretty hair like bubblegum. I like it."

Sophia, stop crying, you're scaring the child.

Do they love grampleton orange chicken as much as Sophia? And love anime?

Did someone say Sophia was an only child? Nothing like that, now she has a younger brother/sister.

Olivia:

Olivia is just like that grandmother who always spoils the children and gives them too much pocket money.

True, Olivia is not a grandmother, but a milf good looking middle-aged woman.

Spoils them to the point of impossibility, because they are so cute.

Even if the Farmer grumbles a little that she spoils them too much.

If a sibling comes to visit, they won't leave until they've eaten.

I'm telling you, she is like granny.

Olivia will show them an album of old photos of her family.

There's children's books in her library somewhere, if they're interested.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

A couple of changes

Hey all!

We've passed a couple of big milestones recently (Our 1000th rec! 5000 likes on tumblr! 69th themed week!), which seems like a good time to make a couple of changes!

The first, and biggest one: We're opening up recs to the general public! They'll work similar to the way that the gen recs and the not-quite-rarepair recs work - read the rules, prove that you've read the rules by submitting the password that's embedded in them, and then submit the rec. It's not foolproof, but it keeps bots away and hopefully convinces people.

We're doing this because, to be honest, two of the three people who are involved in this reclist aren't all that active on the discord this reclist is associated with, and I (Opera) think the reclist can be better if it has more voices involved, which means expanding the reccing pool.

Because of #1: 

2. We're changing the rules slightly. 

So, this reclist is anonymous. Unless you mention who you are in the comments of the rec itself, then we have no way of knowing who recced it.  Which in some ways is great! But it also means that when there's a potential issue, we can't send a quick DM to maybe clear things up.

One of the reasons why I was so hesitant about opening this up to everyone was that people tend to give people they share a community with more grace and good faith than randos, and because when there was an issue, I could put a message in the discord and - well, it didn't feel great, but at least it felt less like a call out post than putting it on tumblr where everyone can see it.

So, this is going to take some trust, but this is what we're going to do:

a. We will not allow any rec that is deemed, without a questionable doubt by the mods to be racist, transphobic, or mean spirited towards the work itself or the other works in the fandom. If the part that is racist, transphobic, or mean spirited can be excised without deleting the entire rec, we will do so. Otherwise, we'll remove it.

To be clear, we will still allow works that feature racism (for example, characters dealing with fantasy racism) or transphobia - it's that the rec itself should not be.

b. We will also remove any rec by author request. I've been hesitant to do this in the past, and we're not really equipped to ban any author from being recced, but will be willing to do so on a case by case basis.

c. When making a change, the default will be to make a change quietly. If you notice something's up, you can DM @operafloozy or @theusualjasper and we will let you know privately. I'm all for transparency, but announcing that someone was being weird on a rec on tumblr (where it can't be easily contained) is probably going to lead to bad feelings all around.

d. We're going to ask that everyone take things with as much good faith and grace as possible. I really, really don't want to remove anything, and this is asking folks who don't know the mods to trust us. I also don't want this reclist to become a vehicle of bullying or transphobia, but also I don't want people to get paranoid about their rec not being good enough or secretly transphobic somehow.

3. Also, we're putting the first ten themes back into the randomizer to be picked. It's been nearly two years, and we're down to only twelve unpicked themes. After ten weeks, we'll add the next ten themes back in, and so on.

Those themes are:

Cozy

Getting Nerdy About Magic

Professor Widogast

Culture Differences

Canon Divergent AU

Featuring Essek's Parents

Featuring Verin

Scourger/Evil AU

Featuring Astrid/Eadwulf

Wild Magic

[cruelfeline]

To @cruelfeline // Cc @ladybinary because some of this pertains to my interactions with you. (It is very surprising that you two have not blocked me yet as far as I can tell, but I’m going to take advantage of that to try to do something reasonable instead of something bad). I was the one who repeatedly sent the creepy anonymous asks regarding Horde Prime (or at least, most of them) and I wanted to apologize for my horrible behavior towards you. It was very immature of me to not respect your boundaries. I understand that you will not forgive me, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Also, I didn’t want to hide my behavior behind the idea of being anonymous anymore, so I didn’t. You can ignore this, or publish this and comment on it, or publish this and comment on it but specifically crop my name away, or read this and send me a reply through private messaging, and send it to ladybinary later. I won’t be upset by any of the options you pick, the power should be in your hands. I guess I would prefer the last option, but it is up to you. I’m sort of expecting you to ignore me and block me though, since given my behavior, you probably don’t want to hear anything from me ever again. Tumblr wouldn’t let me do a cut, but…  **more under the cut and It Gets Worse** Basically, I enjoyed some of your posts and something about your writing style made it entertaining(?) for me to upset you for my own amusement. So, along the lines of why I suspect most people who do a specific kind of online harassment do what they do. But here’s where things get very interesting and horrible in a way that you may not expect: I had/have this tendency to do something mean or immature, and then somehow rationalize it as being “not me”. I don’t mean this in a straightforward sense of not wanting to take responsibility for my own actions—although it certainly is that! I don’t even mean it in a sense of thinking that the bad action was done by someone else, or the fault of someone else. I mean it in a sense of… I would do something, and then decide that it doesn’t “count”(?) towards who I am, because it doesn’t match my beliefs or internal concept of myself. And then I would willfully(?) forget that I had done it until I felt like doing it again. Like, I had a certain idea of who I wanted to be, but instead of actually striving for it, I would just… as a starting point, decide that this is who I am, and that any behavior that fell outside of that wasn’t reflective of who I actually was “on the inside”. I wasn’t consciously aware that I was doing this, and by the very nature of itself, it is a tricky thing to catch yourself doing. Now obviously, this is cheating, so to speak. This is not how assessing someone’s moral character works, so I can’t… apply it to myself and no one else. Instead, your moral character can be assessed through observing your actions, both good and bad. I think this is reasonable, but I don’t want to get caught up in a rant about moral philosophy right now. I just want to apologize for something I did that was not good by literally any reasonable definition ever. So the solution, then, instead of defending my mental image of myself, or splitting myself into pieces so that I can keep doing bad behavior with no consequences, is to… try and actually behave in a way that makes sense to what I believe, both about myself, and about the way people should behave in general. If I think that online harassment is bad, then I shouldn’t do it. And it sounds so obvious when you say it like that! There’s a second part to this, too, which is slightly less horrible, but still worth discussing. So, on some level, I knew what I was doing was… not who I wanted to be, but I had not quite worked out that it was a reflection of who I was, just as much as everything else I did… and so, I silently decreased and then got rid of the horrible behavior in situations where it was obviously, obviously not wanted. But here’s the thing: even when I am not intending to do online harassment, I can end up doing it anyway by being really, really bad at assessing what the other person is thinking, or not understanding the norms of the group, what people’s boundaries even are so I can respect them. If I don’t know that they don’t want me to screech about Horde Prime or whatever else I feel like screeching about at that moment, then I will do it. But the effect is the same, and it is completely understandable if I get blocked or banned for that reason. I only recently figured out that I could be in the wrong about this. This is partially because of the “my behavior somehow doesn’t reflect who I am” bullshit from earlier, but it is also because… I had some unpleasant interactions on Discord, and in real life, where people just dislike me (or even harassed me as I have harassed you) for being too weird or too intense by some arbitrary standard. When you add strong emotions and black-and-white thinking to that, it becomes, “well, literally any time someone doesn’t like something I’m doing online, they’re being close-minded and that’s their problem!” and I can see now that that’s not true. Sometimes, if someone doesn’t like something I’m doing online, that really is their problem, but… well, sometimes, it’s mine. It is a nuanced thing. It depends on what I am doing, and the context in which I’m doing it. Writing a post on your own site is different than sending an ask, and behavior that is directed at someone personally, for them to see, needs to be held to a higher standard than just talking to yourself/your audience on the internet. I also want to tell you what made me change my mind regarding my behavior towards you. Or, not change my mind about the behavior itself, because I suspect that I always knew it was bad, and that it was the “my behavior somehow doesn’t reflect who I am” bullshit which stopped me from actually changing it. One of the things was assessing a real person and then a fictional character who did something worse than me with an uncomfortably similar psychological process. I like to think about fictional characters, and sometimes it causes me to learn about myself, if they are like me in some way. Sometimes, that knowledge is comforting. Other times, it is uncomfortable, but still necessary or helpful in some way. The other was being held accountable for my actions by getting blocked/having certain people get upset at me. This is really important. It isn’t just that people who get bullied or harassed don’t have to forgive, and are allowed to be upset in terms of just… themselves and their right to be upset. It’s also that, if the person who did something bad in the first place is actually interested in becoming a better person, then they will accept that there are consequences sometimes. It is not… horrible to them, and they are the victim now somehow. Rather, it is morally similar to splashing cold water on your face so that you can feel more awake. It’s unpleasant but very effective if you know what I mean. I want to be clear, this entire under-the-cut section is not to guilt-trip either of you into forgiving me, it is to explain how someone who spent a rather long time doing and saying things that were terrible and honestly just… gross… could decide that they are going to stop behaving that way, by coming to a realization of how their own moral character should be assessed. In fact, I actively expect that you are not going to forgive me, or even believe that I am being sincere, but given how I behaved… that’s honestly just what happens. As for what I’ll do in the future, aside from stopping this one specific obnoxious behavior… I will err on the side of caution when directly interacting with people online. If it is any of my own sites or a private piece of writing, I will go wild and if people don’t like that then they can block me, but in terms of behavior directed at specific individuals, I will use more caution. The other thing I will do is understand that my bad actions reflect my moral character, just like my good actions reflect my moral character, or other people’s bad actions reflect their moral character. Unfortunately, I cannot literally just say that I’m going to be a good person now, because that would most likely be a lie. Because even now, when I am like, “Okay, our actions reflect our character, and we will be careful to behave in a way that makes sense to what we believe…” My moral compass is very, very, very messed up for reasons outside the scope of this post. I will obtain a better moral compass by educating myself on social issues and continuing to think carefully about the things I read. I will also think some more about my previous bad actions outside of harassing you. That was a really unsatisfying conclusion and really just not the best thing I’ve ever written in general, but oh well.

Dude. If you think I’m going to actually read whatever self-involved monologue you’ve vomited into my inbox, you’ve got another thing coming. I do not care about the mental gymnastics you indulged in to further those perverse, gross asks you sent me. All I care about is that I finally have your username so I can easily block you without ruining anon for everyone else. And that you sent this publicly so other people can block you as well, if they so choose.

Don’t talk to me.

[alexanderlightweight]

Hey can I ask something?

If you prefer to answer this in private message that's really fine, but it seemed somehow rude to send it to you in PM 🤔.

Quite a while ago (could be months really, live has been quite hectic for me lately) I sent you an ask about 2 songs I felt suited Magnus' and Alec's POV respectively for quite a few of your 'verses. It wasn't necessarily meant as a prompt but I had been curious about your opinion on them.

you never seemed to have posted about it and now I was wondering if tumblr ate my ask or if something in the ask itself brought up something bad for you (just so I can avoid that in the future) or if perhaps it's a third option I hadn't even thought of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

either way, thanks for all your glorious writing work! it's a thing of beauty (aka to me it's a joy forever!)

hey!

so you're absolutely okay asking and i'll answer publically because i have like a dozen song prompts in my inbox and drafts and I'm sure there are others curious but jsyk, it's okay to send a pm asking stuff. i don't find it rude cause i know from experience that sometimes its less nerve racking than sending an ask

i know its different for everyone but just putting it out there ^_^

so music is really hit or miss for me. i'll listen to the same playlists and artists for a couple years without expanding because the sensory input of new songs can be a little much. i don't really have a way to vet whether or not the music will be too much for me and things have been so busy and (noisy and loud and overwhelming) that i haven't really tried to listen to new music in a couple of months.

@saryn-prime has to listen to a lot of their music on headphones instead of n speakers and oftentimes i'll listen to the same song on repeat for hours. if i'm overstimulated even a song i love can set off a migraine and certain tunes or tempos can send my mood spiraling, rising or plummeting without my say so

so (especially when i want to actually kind of really explore a song and give it a chance and also enjoy it in regards to malec or writing) i'm saving like the dozen songs for when i have the spoons to process and possibly enjoy the songs.

Saeth turned on music earlier and i lasted two songs before i was asking them to turn it to safe playlist (which they immiedately did).

btw i love getting music and song reccomendations in regards to malec and shadowhunters or in general. i've been inspired for some really fun fics and ideas, but atm my brain isn't up to that kind of processing :/

pray to the hunters i like to write with the song playing in the background but i cant currently handle the tempo/voices/percussion mix so i haven't been writing or playing it

so i have them and probably in a few weeks or a month my brain will be back to processing music appropriately and i can enjoy the songs shared with me

i hope this makes sense

<3 lumine

[kouhsuu]

hii hello who are you whats your lore!!

MY LORE okay that's a new one

*THIS IS GONNA BE LONG AND RAMBLY*

Who I am? 17 year old genderfluid digital and traditional artist 👍

For my lore as an artist: My dad is a painter so from a very young age i was surrounded by art materials literally taking up half our small living room because of the easles, giant canvas rolls, wood, cabinets full of paints and brushes, etc.

Essentially I was very encouraged by him to draw lol, and it also came out of me just finding art so much fun in general. I knew that if I got good enough at it I could draw almost anything I wanted if i pushed myself to learn.

I get verrry engrossed learning anything creative and visual, whether it be making my own website, sewing, sculpting, video editing, 3d modelling, painting, woodworking, etc it's all SO! MUCH! FUN!! I also have to specify visual creativity because oh boy can i not stand trying to make music as much as i want to.

In school I was very obviously the art kid and one of the weird kids, but luckily never got bullied because i was charismatic enough and generally there weren't major major assholes at my schools somehow. I usually was involved with the special programs in my schools because of my enthusiasm to learn and participate, so I got an opportunity to enroll into an early scholarship program for LaGuardia art school in middle school which... i ended up turning down because i thought it would be too much work being in a college like that... which honestly only kind of regret because honestly now i'd rather get into drafting and architecture.

Speaking of drafting and architecture! The reason my dad became a painter is because my grandma couldn't afford to send him to school to become an architect, so he pushed me to go into the field as well now that I have the opportunity. I didn't really feel like it but it seemed kind of interesting designing buildings because if i knew how buildings were made, i could more accurately put detail into my art xD Most decisions I make are to improve my own artwork because it's my life and soul, and luckily i ended up getting interested into working with more drafting.

My first social media i posted art on was google plus, then came deviantart, then came youtube, then twitter, and now tumblr (and cohost & itaku). I still use twitter but my main account (@/hamunako) is essentially inactive, I don't care enough to keep posting there nor do i have the motivation NOR do i want to have the anxiety to feel like I have to keep posting because uh oh people wont interact with me otherwise!!!!! Now I just use a private account with less than 25 followers and its the best. I made this Tumblr account though just in case twitter finally deleted itself off of the face of the planet, and also because i've always wanted to figure out how tumblr works & instagram confused me even more than tumblr...

As for why i've been drawing SOOOO much lonely wolf treat lately??? Short answer: ADHD (possible autism too?), Long answer: A long long time ago I watched manlybadasshero's playthrough of lonely wolf treat and loved it, then i forgot about it until i went on itch a while ago and saw that nami had posted mochi in frosting so I was like WOAH THERE'S STILL NEW CHAPTERS?! I got even more into it when it turned out one of my new friends ALSO had played lonely wolf treat so we drew the characters and it allllll spiraled from there.

Can't think of anything else interesting to share regarding my lore but yeah!!! Also I take commissions, just message me and i'll show what I can do and my prices! Don't have a formal post yet but i'll get to it at some point, i'm not very formal in the first place xP

[pikahlua]

Hi sweetness, I love that you've set up a discord but I am so nervous and anxious about yknow, just talking.

Would it be possible to get some pre-leak buzz going so we can talk a little more organically?

I understand the anxiety issue. I have pretty bad anxiety myself. Over time, I've noticed people seem to only want to send me messages on anon lately. I don't know if that's a reflection of the internet and its denizens these days or if I somehow have managed to build an intimidating parasocial aura perhaps as a consequence of my blog's comedic arrogance memes. In truth, I'm just a person trying to chill and enjoy a manga with you all. I don't have a problem with people having different takes on MHA than I might, and I have zero interest in "calling out" anyone for anything. I just enjoy the discussion, and I wanna have fun in the fandom! Anyone can send me a (kind, good faith) private message to strike up a chat.

Now, I think I also owe you all some clarification since it’s been a while I’ve talked about these things.

I currently run two Discord servers:

One is for meta discussion, which requires you to ask for an invitation from me via the Tumblr chat function. That is where I am most active on a daily basis. The details about joining this server are on my blog in the "Meet Me Outside" section.

The other is this new server from last week that has been set up solely to facilitate the live streams of when I'm translating the MHA chapter leaks (here's a new link to join by the way). The single voice channel on this server does not allow for audio chat. It just allows for me to stream audio and visual from my setup. Should you connect to the voice channel, you will be able to view the stream when it's live and write in the voice channel's text chat for me to see and respond to you. It is not compulsory that you participate in any discussion, but you will always be welcome to do so. The server itself is still in its beta testing stages to see how many people join and what improvements can be made so everyone can have a good time, so of course I'm open to suggestions.

I've set up the translations server this way to create a controlled streaming environment where I hopefully won't have to manage moderating too many people and can keep things low-key. Too many distractions would slow down the translation process. I will continue posting the completed translations to my blog after each stream, but this server gives the opportunity for you to hear my initial reactions and thoughts on the chapter before I've organized them or determined if they're worth writing about on my blog.

As for "pre-leak buzz," I’ll give it my best shot in the server, but be warned that despite my best attempts at passing as cool, I'm actually a giant square. I’ll definitely need some help generating buzz. XD

That said, if you're wanting to chat and hang out in a community, perhaps my first Discord, the meta discussion server, would be a better choice for you. Consider it! :P

[makeste]

I was originally going to send this message declaring my undying love for your metas and chapter reviews aND THEN - AND THEN MAKESTE - I READ THE ANSWER WHERE YOU SAID YOU WERE ARO AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOO HAPPY. I'm aroace and it is SO FRUSTRATING to want to consume platonic or familial interaction between people and CONSTANTLY only get romantic or sexual. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU CONTRIBUTE

woooo up top! solidarity lol.

for me it’s like... I don’t know if “frustrating” is the word I would use, but I do wish there was more gen out there. and that’s also something I’ve felt awkward about wanting in the past, because my early fandom years took place in a time where slash was much less of an everyday commonplace thing than it is now, and liking it was still a fairly controversial thing. the internet was a much more openly homophobic place than it is now. like, picture the purity police of modern day tumblr, but if they attacked any kind of non-heterosexual relationship as being sick and perverted and wrong. that was pretty much the general vibe. this was before AO3, and people who wrote slash often didn’t post it on ff.net and only posted it to their own private blogs and/or locked and moderated communities instead just so they wouldn’t be harassed. and there was absolutely no canon representation out there at all, or next to none. it was very much a “[rolls eyes] oh the yaoi fangirls are at it again” sort of thing where non-cishet relationships in fiction and fanfiction were at best not taken seriously at all, and at worst were treated with outright scorn and disgust.

and so like, with this being a common attitude at the time, I felt guilty for not always wanting to read slash myself. like, I don’t mind reading about romantic relationships at all, but for me there also has to be some other kind of element in play as well, or else it’s just not going to click for me. if a fic is just romance, just a lot of pining and slow burn stuff without anything else really going on in the plot, I just get bored and disinterested. I almost want to use the word tired, even though I’m not sure that makes much sense. I just can’t connect to the emotions, and so I disengage pretty quickly. and so I tend to steer clear of time-honored fandom staples like coffee shop AUs or And They Were Roommates, just because for me there’s rarely anything there for me to latch onto. I like angst, but I can’t relate to “so and so doesn’t feel the same way about me”, or “I want to be with them so bad but I don’t know how to confess”, or “they’re with someone else and it hurts like crazy every time I see them and know we can’t be together”, because none of those are emotions that I have ever personally felt, and I just can’t make myself feel them. what I can relate to are things like “this person makes me feel safe”, or “I feel a strong connection to this person”, or “I trust this person more than anyone else” because those feelings aren’t exclusively romantic in nature. I can relate to closeness and caring and love and affection and trust, but what I can’t relate to is the feeling of having a single person occupy all of your thoughts all the time, and very badly wanting to be the most important thing in their life as well, and feeling incomplete otherwise.

but anyway I spiraled away from the point I was trying to get to, which is that for a long time I actually felt guilty about feeling this way. because even though it’s rare to find fanworks where gen/platonic relationships are at the center, actual canon is chock full of said relationships. and so it’s like, what right do I even have to complain when I get to read all the time about so and so being friends, but the people who actually want them to be in a relationship in the actual canon so rarely get to see that actually happen. because that much has not changed in the past 20 years, even though society has become far more accepting of LGBTQ+ relationships. most canons are still far more likely to tease a non-hetero ship -- on purpose, even, hence why queerbaiting is a thing -- than actually commit to it. and so I often feel like I have no right to voice my desire for more genfic, because genfic has never faced the same kind of scrutiny as slashfic. gen has always been acceptable, and there is plenty of canon representation of platonic and non-romantic relationships, and so it’s not something I have any business whining about.

and even now I feel fairly uncomfortable voicing this lol. I write almost exclusively genfic myself, and up until very recently, I’ve always defined gen in my head as being just a lack of romantic or sexual content, rather than being its own distinct category. I think that’s one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was aro (that, and I’d honestly never even come across the term until just a few years ago). for me, my lack of interest in romantic affection always felt more like a lack of identity rather than an identity in and of itself. I always felt like I was missing something. and for a very long time it never occurred to me that this might be a permanent thing; I just figured, okay, I just haven’t had this feeling yet. it just hasn’t happened for me yet. but eventually it would, and I just hadn’t met the right person, or whatever. but it was never anything I particularly wanted, and I never felt like I was missing out on anything by not having it. I never felt any kind of longing for it or felt incomplete without it. I was actually perfectly content!

but because society treats romantic orientation as the norm and places such a huge emphasis on it, I still had the uncomfortable feeling in the back of my head that if I never fell in love with someone and never wound up having a relationship with someone, my life would somehow be less meaningful and whole. like, we’re raised to think that romantic love is basically the pinnacle of the human experience, the purest and truest emotion that anyone can feel. and at the same time, there’s this idea that a life without that kind of love is just sad and unfulfilling and tragic. and so for a very long time my experience with my own aromanticism was characterized by me thinking of it as a lack of something that everyone else said was very important. and it took a long time to realize that that wasn’t the case, and that it was a valid orientation all its own and not just a matter of me being deficient in some way. and that was actually such a relief to finally come to terms with. I can be whole and complete on my own and still have a rich and fulfilling human experience even if I never experience romantic love, and that’s fine. I’m not missing anything. I’m not wrong for feeling like I’m not missing anything. it’s fine to be content with just me as I am. like, holy shit. and that was such a weight off my shoulders to finally get that.

I once wrote a fic which I was and still am very proud of. it was a genfic, and it had a really intricate plot with a big twist at the very end. and there was a ton of emotion in it, and it got very intense at times, because these were two characters who cared a lot about each other and would literally die for each other if they had to, and I’d put them in a situation where that possibility was very much looming over their heads at every turn. and I really put everything I had into trying to convey that kind of bond as strongly as possible. like I poured a ton of my heart and soul into that fic. and the responses were almost universally positive and kind and made me really happy.

there was one response though, that still sticks with me to this day. it was by and large very positive, just like the others. but it ended with a single sentence that, at the time, kind of just lowkey gutted me. Not gonna lie though, would have loved some slash in there.

like, that just cut me. way more than this person actually intended, I think. I’m pretty sure they just meant it as an offhanded comment, not even a concrit or anything. just “haha would have loved it if they’d kissed though lol.” but it stung. because this was something I’d put every ounce of emotion that I could conjure up into. and even though it wasn’t mean to be hurtful in any way, to me that comment read as “this is still missing something.” because there was no romance, the fic was incomplete. the characters’ feelings were incomplete. even though I’d struggled so much to convey all of these complex emotions which to me were so real and powerful, and even though the comment even acknowledged that I had by and large done so effectively, to me the single takeaway that stuck was that the feelings were less meaningful because there was no romance.

and that felt like a failing on my part. I even apologized for it. and here we are, ten years later, and that comment still pops up in my head any time I feel the urge to talk about a popular ship which I support but which I also enjoy as just a friendship. “just” a friendship. I still feel guilt over that. I still feel this urge to overexplain that I’m not trying to invalidate the actual romantic ship. I worry that I’d be perceived as ungrateful and/or a bad ally if I ever just came out and said “I wish there was more gen” like you were able to say so freely, anon. I worry about people getting offended if I were to say “I headcanon so and so as being aroace” because it might be viewed as an attack on their ships, or as latent homophobia, or something. like I have this paranoid fear that people might take it as me being puritanical and all “oh no, icky sex” or whatever, and so I end up just never bringing it up at all.

and that’s the thing about aromanticism, though; it’s so easy to just never talk about it at all, because for so many people it is just defined as a lack of something, rather than a something all on its own. it’s so easy for it to be something you just never bring up, and which just kind of quietly exists as the boring, bland, inoffensive yet uninteresting lack of a relationship; the default blank slate that most everyone is dying to fill in as soon as possible, except for you. and I’ve gone on thinking about it that way myself for so long that I’m still struggling now to sort out how to embrace it as an actual identity. it’s something I still have a lot of work to do on I guess.

anyway! so that all got very long and rambling and personal, far more so than I intended; clearly I have a lot of pent up thoughts and feelings about this lol. I guess I probably could stand to talk about it more, since the evidence would indicate that I clearly want to. but eh, baby steps. but anyways you are super valid anon and thank you so much for the love and comments. <3

[kyluxbigbang]

Kylux Big Bang 2020 wrap-up and feedback survey results

Hello everyone!

We've concluded yet another Kylux Big Bang, fifth one we've run since TFA first came out - a huge THANK YOU to all our participants who keep this bang going! Amazing job everyone, we hope you've had as much fun with it as with the previous ones, and if this was your first ever KBB - we hope you've enjoyed it, and will join us for the 2021 KBB :D

We've closed the feedback survey, thank you to everyone who responded! Your comments will help shape the coming Kylux Big Bang. Here's the tl;dr summary, (for more info please see below the cut):

Ratio of artwork to wordcount: just right

Time-frame to complete works: just right, we will have a similar timeframe for KBB 2021 with posting in November

Check-ins: were useful, just about the right amount, and will be included again in 2021 KBB

Pairing process: went well, we've addressed more detailed comments below

Type of bang for 2021: REVERSE! The KBB has a tradition of swapping between the type of bang every other year, and over half of responders voted for a reverse bang. For the KBB 2021 artists will provide prompts, and writers will pick from them!

Mods for the 2020 KBB: will be announced once the 2021 bang starts

Our email is still kyluxbigbang2020s@gmail.com, please feel free to contact us there if you’d like!

We will keep running the discord server for KBB 2021 to help people reach out to the mods and other participants

We will update the schedule as soon as the 2021 KBB starts. We are hoping to open the sign-ups for KBB 2021 in early May - keep an eye out on our blog and twitter for the sign up announcement around that time!

For more details about the survey results please check below the cut.

Everyone, regardless of previous involvement in the fandom and their skill level, is welcome to participate in the Kylux Big Bang!  We look forward to many of you signing up for the 2021 KBB :)

KBB Mod Team

Nearly everyone thought the ratio of artwork to wordcount was just right (93%; 94% last year; 5% thought there were too many words per piece of art and 2% that there wasn't enough), and the majority of people (79%, 77% last year) thought the time-frame to complete the works was also just about right, with 14% saying it wasn't enough and 7% saying that it was too much time. We will stick to a similar time frame, starting KBB 2021 around May and finishing in November for the Big Bang and September for the Mini Bang.

Almost everyone (95%; 15% more than last year) finished their projects by the end of the event and was satisfied or highly satisfied with the 2020 KBB (88%).

Most people (86%; 96% last year) found the check-ins useful, with majority of participants (74%, 91% last year) having found the amount of check-ins to be just about right. 16% of respondents thought there were too many, 10% thought there were too few. 86% of all respondents would like to have check-ins in the next KBB. We will continue using them, and review their number.

62% of people want to see a reverse bang this year, and we have taken into account the fact that the previous bangs operated on a switch basis: a regular bang followed by a reverse, followed by a regular. We are happy to announce that this year’s event will be a REVERSE bang, following the regular bang from last year :) Artists will submit their story ideas, and writers will pick from them.

We were happy to hear that almost everyone who voiced their opinions about the pairing process thought it worked well!

As usual, we got the one singular comment about the pairing process being somehow 'rigged'. Here is a link to the pairing algorithm we use every year since 2017. To increase the anonymity of prompts and bids, mod @glass-oceans encoded each prompt with its own unique code (the 'prompt code' everyone has been using for their project), and the artist bids were similarly encoded to avoid bias before the pairing up was done by mod @brainyraccoons based on those codes alone. If people still have concerns and doubts about the pairings, mod @brainyraccoons is more than happy to discuss those, you can message him on tumblr/twitter under the same username or on discord at brainyraccoons#5678.

We would also like to note that most other big bangs operate on a ‘first come, first served’ basis for pairing, where whoever is first to bid on a prompt gets it. We think that is highly unfair to people who cannot access the bidding on time or experience technical difficulties, therefore we employ the pairing algorithm even though it adds at least 15 extra work hours (that’s almost half a week for an office worker) for one mod and is quite a complex process. We do it because we want everyone to have an equal chance at getting their favourite prompts. If you think the process is somehow ‘rigged’, you are in no way obliged to participate in the KBB, and we will not address any further comments of this nature.

We've received a comment asking for space to write down people whom the participants do not wish to be paired up with - this information can be included in the last question on the form which asks whether you would like to let us know of anything else regarding your pairing and prompt preferences.

We are not sure what the comment asking about factoring in time zones for pairing relates to - if the person in question could send us a private message and explain, we would be happy to hear them out!

Other feedback we've received has been extremely positive and encouraging, and we are happy to hear that you've enjoyed the project! We sincerely thank everyone who took the time to share their love for the KBB with us, the project wouldn't be possible without you!

To address the concerns and queries that were raised:

This year we will be changing the way the posting windows work, as many people have raised their concerns over them, and we acknowledge that the posting didn't go as smoothly as anticipated. We will be following the format almost all other Big Bangs take, and people will be able to pick ONE DAY, and one day only, for their posting. ALL art and fic will have to be posted within that time-frame. If there are reasonable mitigating circumstances for people missing their assigned posting date, we will do our best to find a good solution - as always, we will help however we can, and there will be options to post after the original deadline has passed, provided that the team keeps a line of communication open with us at all times when difficulties arise, and all parties know what's happening. Changing the way we do posting should also help with having less fics posted in the last few days and help to spread the posting out better.

Check-ins having no repercussions for the half of the team who isn't progressing with their side of the project: as far as we know, that wasn't the case, and teams who have submitted only partial check-ins were chased up and multiple pinch hitters were assigned where people went MIA. If there are issues with people not pulling their weight in your team, PLEASE LET US KNOW. If you are for some reason unhappy with your partner(s), PLEASE LET US KNOW. If you wish to change your partner because you cannot form a working relationship with them for the duration of the bang, PLEASE EXPLICITLY LET US KNOW (this one is particularly helpful at the start of the project when it's easier to move people around as necessary). We assume that everyone who is taking part in the bang is mature enough to be able to communicate with their partner, or notify us in a timely manner if things are not going according to plan, so we can work on a viable solution together.

Ability to talk to a mod of someone's choosing: this has always been the case, the list of mods is available to view on the rules page, as well as clearly visible on discord! You can DM any member of the mod team at any given time, although a reply might come some time later due to time zone differences.

We will continue to allow everyone to join the KBB, regardless of their previous involvement in the fandom, the KBB itself, and whether they have finished all their previous works for all other projects they have participated in or not.

We will aim to open beta sign ups at the start of the bang, so there will be a bigger beta pool from the beginning and hopefully we will be able to pair up anyone who will need a beta with one. However, we urge people to look for their own betas where possible, as it is not guaranteed that we will be able to provide one for the project, considering how many participants there are.

We will try to make more use of the discord server for posting announcements and reminders as well as posting more on both the tumblr and twitter throughout the bang. Unfortunately 2020 hit us all hard and we didn’t get to do things such as Tips & Tricks and Participant Profiles like we usually do.

For KBB 2021 we will require artists and authors to exchange emails. In previous bangs we’ve allowed people to opt-out of this and use alternate contact methods. This year primary point of contact will be through email and once people are paired up partners can choose how they want to keep in touch moving forward.

If anyone would like any clarification on any of the above, please feel free to contact us!

[readerbookclub]

The Book Club Chat Server!

In a recent post, I briefly mentioned that the book club has a discord server now (here’s the link to join). But I didn’t delve into what exactly this means. So this posts talks a little more about our new place to chat and answers some questions you might have. 

Also if you’re having difficulty joining, the last question (under a read more) breaks it down, step by step. Hope this helps x

What is discord?

Discord is a website that people use to message and chat over the internet. Within discord, you can join servers—think of this as one big group chat for the club. We can message each other and have a casual chat.

While some discord servers can be open to the public, ours is private and only I can send out invitation links. This means you don't have to worry about spammers or bullies or bots, they won't be able to join and if somehow they do, I can always kick them out.

Why did you make a discord?

Having a place to chat can make us feel more like a group and encourage conversations. For those of us who’ve been around for a while now, we’re familiar with each other and our interests. But for our newer members, this doesn’t always feel like a community. And it can be pretty intimidating to reach out and try to connect with others.

I've noticed that a lot of people will only interact with me. They'll reply to my posts, send me asks, and message me. But not a lot of people interact with each other. By having a place for us all to chat, we can get to know each other a little better. Reaching out to other members and talking to them becomes a lot easier.

Does this mean we won’t use Tumblr anymore?

Big no! I absolutely love Tumblr as a place to discuss books. The ability to write super long posts lends itself very well to book reviews and nuanced discussions. Also the ability to send other people asks is something I really enjoy. But tumblr is lacking when it comes to its chat feature, so this is a way to make up for that. I'll still be posting all my question lists and reviews over here, and I'm still going to bug you with asks. The discord is simply a place to add to what we have here, not to take it way.

I’ve never used discord before. Will it be hard for me to figure it out?

Absolutely not. Discord has a very simple and easy to navigate interface. It'll be just like any other chat website/app. And if you have trouble figuring out, you can message me and I'll be more than happy to help. Discord even has a guide explaining how to use its main features.

Why discord? Why not another platform?

When I asked you for your thoughts about starting a server, a few people suggested a platform other than discord. I looked into your suggestions and felt that discord was the best option. Some other platforms make personal information visible to others, such as phone number or email. With discord, you can keep that stuff private which makes it safer.

Another person brought up the Tumblr chat option. While that's a great idea, it does have it's drawbacks. The tumblr chat option is only available on the app, which not everyone uses. Discord however, can be accessed anywhere—you can use the website, mobile app, or download it on your laptop. The other reason is that you can't separate the tumblr chat into sub-chats or do any form of organization. This raises issues. For instance, on discord I can make a spoiler-free zone for casual chit chat and separate it from the book-discussion chat that'll probably be filled with spoilers. On discord, I can also pin important messages, assign roles to members, and delete any unwanted/hateful messages.

I don’t have the time to check the discord regularly? Does this mean I shouldn’t join?

You can still join! Discord saves old messages, so if you log in once in a while, you can catch up quite easily. It's totally fine if you only check in every week or so.

I follow this blog, but I’m not part of the book club. Can I still join?

Of course you can! This is a place for you to get to know other readers, and become more familiar with some of us in this little corner of booklr. Who knows, maybe you'll be encouraged to read along with us!

Do I have to join?

No you don't. But it could be fun, so why not go for it! If you join and then later decide it's not for you, you're always welcome to leave.

I'm having difficulty joining, can you explain it to me?

This is the link you'll need to use. Please note that it'll expire in a week, so if you're reading this after then message me and I'll give you a new link.

Bellow the read more is a step-by step guide to joining.

1. Click the link above, and you should open this page:

2. Come up with a username, and click continue. This should take you to the following page:

3. Verify that you’re a human (you are a human, aren’t you?!). If you don’t have an account this might come up:

4. You can make an account if you want, but you don’t have to! Simply click outside of the sign up box and it should disappear. 

5. Discord will probably ask you to verify your age (their minimum age differs from country to country, but I think all our members are old enough to join):

After that, you’re in! If you're facing any difficulties with joining, message me. There's another slightly more complicated way to join, and we can do that instead.

Tag List (message me to be added/removed):  @solitarystudies @adhyayana-v @gordinmegan​ @appleinducedsleep​ @morphedphase​ @bowieziggyfan​ @theeezoneee​ @montaguest​ @wanderlustingdreamer​ @elfspectations​ @astreamoflight​ @engineeriblr​ @chemistrybaby6-022x10-23​ @pepperpaprikash​ @bubblylion​ @generalblizzarddreamer​ @ifancythetrancy​ @selescope​ @bluehair-pixie​ @love-witch-magic​ @bluebellraven​ 

[pretty-rad-arson-dad]

Hey guys so, about the whole situation that had happened with me being fasley accused of being a pedo, I said I'd make a post telling our side of the story (cause this involves so much more than me and them) and involves about 10 other people.

Also, ahead of time, sorry if this is messy, I just really don't know how to make these kinds of posts to clear things up? Explaining things like this is not something I'm good at. I was also going to post this sooner, but stuff in my persona life happened, and I've also received threats from this person's friends if I tried to come forward with my side of the story (or more like made anymore posts about it, as there's already a whole call-out post about them on Instagram, which I'll be showing later). After some debate, I actually realized it would probably be best if I actually did, just to get a warning out, even though I know there's a chance this won't be recieved well cause this is fucking Tumblr... And again, I'm just trying to tell our side of the story and warn others so the same doesn't happen to them. Also because I do believe this guy might have a Tumblr account and might try to seek out more people to abuse. I sure as hell know one of his friends who helped stalk us have a Tumblr though.

So, the person making the accusations was someone who joined my discord server, and at the time of joining, he was saying that he was of age. Several members on the server can vouch for me when I say this. Of course, in regards to him telling us he was of age, this is apparently something he failed to mention when he decided to make that callout conveniently enough. I'm still unsure of what his actual age is, wether he actually lied to us about being an adult when he joined the server or if he was lying when he claimed to be a minor in his callout. 

Anyways, sometime after he joined the server, he started to become a problem. Me, being an idiot and feeling bad for him, allowed his behavior to slide, though I didn't know the full extent of what he was doing til a bit later.

He would constantly talk about how he was being abused and we'd try and help him with advice, which he never really listened to, and if anyone on the server mentioned that they had done something fun or had a great time doing something that day, he'd go off and make us feel guilty for having fun, cause his at home life was shit and apparently if he wasn't happy, we couldn't be either. He actually tried to pull some shit while I was celebrating my birthday with my family. This kinda becomes a bit important later? Or at least the day becomes important later.

He's also known as kind of a pathological liar on the server, claiming that they one of the official FNAF artists (one who doesn't exist, btw), and start rumors about YouTubers and other people we liked, and whenever I'd ask for proof, they'd get all defensive. This itself isn't a big deal, except he also has the tendancy to start rumors that people are pedos if he gets into a heated argument with said person. It's actually happened when one of my friends said he didn't feel comfortable with people shipping things between adults and children. This caused a giant argument to erupt and I had to temporarily boot said friend from the server. At this time, my accuser then decided to make accusations that the friend of mine was a pedo because he... Didn't like people shipping adults and children.... Of course, we told him to cut the bullshit and stop causing rumors.

Now, keep in mind, they got upset over someone being grossed out by shipping adults and children.

This becomes a bit important later.

We ended up having a few other problems with them as time went on, them critizing other members AUs (well, more along the lines of bullying them for their AUs and projects), more guilt tripping and at one point, even bragging about pushing someone to suicide (at least that's what 2 of the other server members are telling me, I can't confirm this, as it seems it happened during a period I had no internet, and there's a good chance they might have deleted it, but do feel free to take this with a grain of salt). 

Eventually, he actually ended up leaving the server for good because of Tupperbot. Adding the stupid bot was the second best decision I've ever made in regards to him, honesty.

However, for a lot of us, the main tipping point was the roleplays and private DMs.

He loved to roleplay some pretty fucked up shit with a lot of people on the server. We've actually had one member as young as 11 come forward and say he had tried to do shit with them too. Keep in mind, he told us he was an adult when he joined. He would love to roleplay all sorts of weird, incestous and pedophilic shit with us, and would force it on us out of the fucking blue. Another thing worth mentioning, me and a few others are victims of childhood sexual abuse and rape. He CONSTANTLY put this shit in most of the roleplays he did with no regard to how triggering it was for some of us. We never even got a warning or an ask if it was okay to have something like that put in a roleplay. Some members spoke to him about their discomfort involving the shit he was putting in the roleplays, but it was disregarded and he'd continue to do it. Some of us were even so scared to say anything about it, as we were afraid he'd lash out at us and threaten us, so we just put up with it. 

Aside from the roleplays were the really weird direct messages he'd sometimes send. There were times someone would be venting (this would happen in the server as well) and he'd respond with that they had no reason to be upset and that he's been through much worse. There would also be times when someone would be feeling depressed, and he'd make these private little group chats to try and "intervene" by inviting a few of us in there with the said person. This would be fine on its own, but he always made it a point to invite one person that we've REPEATEDLY had to tell him not to invite. I'll call this person Wah, cause I don't want to cause them any more stress by exposing their account name. Wah was someone we've told him not to invite because she was, at the time, experiencing a lot of suicidal idealations and we were worried putting her in a situation like this where one of her friends was feeling like killing themselves and her having to help to talk them down would be the sort of thing to set her off into hurting herself. We obviously didn't want that, so we made it a rule not to ever get Wah involved. Accuser knew this and went and always invited Wah anyways. And would shrug it off whenever we'd go off and remind him of Wah's own mental health issues. There has also been at least one instance with them and another user, who was feeling suicidal. They mentioned they had been wanting to kill themselves and accuser went off about how if they killed themself, accuser would kill themself too. This obviously scared the shit out of this person and made them feel more awful.

And there of course, is the shit they did to me. They'd sometimes randomly flip out on me in my DMs out of literally fucking no where, and purposely trigger my PTSD.

There's more, but I can't remember all of it because just so much went on.

Anyways, sometime after they left the server, people began coming forward with their experiences with accuser, telling all that he'd been doing in DMs, and mentioning his prior behavior on the server. We started venting about the way he had been treating us in the vents chat because well, we figured if we couldn't try to talk to him about his behavior, at least we could vent amongst ourselves. Apparently he had actually made a few friends on the server and they let him know we were talking about him.

Fast forward to my birthday celebration and I'm getting DMs from him. They start our fine enough but eventually he suggests we start a thing where we mention one positive thing that's happened to us each day. Cool, a fine idea on it's own, but as I've mentioned above, he's had the tendancy to make us feel like shit for having anything cool and fun in our lives, so of course me, and a few other people who apparently had received the same message, were hesitant.

I left him on read to think about it and also because, again, I was celebrating my birthday and I was about to blow out the candles on my cake and open gifts.

I don't remember all of what went down, and I don't seem to have access to the Instagram DMs anymore since I have him blocked on there too, but eventually, I received a message of him flipping out because he knew about our vents. I believe I might have ended up calling him out and telling him exactly why we were doing it, but I can't remember. This happened back in May so the memory is a bit fuzzy and I don't have the DMs anymore.

All I know is that most of the members of the server decided to cut him off.

After that, he tried to tell Wah I wasn't who I seemed to be and attempted to ruin our friendship, made several accounts to stalk the Instagram accounts of serveral other of the server members and I, and then we ended up having to kick a few of their friends from the server cause they were starting to cause trouble.

Then there was silence for a bit.

And then there was the incident. They had gotten a (at the time former) friend of ours involved by lying and manipulating them into believing I was doing all sorts of nasty shit. The friend, who I'm going to call Pasta, ended up bringing that stuff over to Tumblr, unaware that they had been lied to. I'm not sure if it was Pasta who reached out to us, or if it was one of us who reached out to Pasta, but we ended up telling them what was going on, and somehow, accuser found out, and accused them of being a traitor and freaked out on them. They admitted that accuser was responsible and we ended up making up.

I've also since then had some of accusers former friends come to me and tell me about the call-out, further confirming that it was them who started all this as a way to try and get back at me.

And, since of course some obligatory proof is required, I shall provide these call-out posts with some screenshots. And you can even see in the comments we're far from the only ones who have dealt with them.

These aren't the only things from them, obviously, but considering the fact that we've all now got them blocked and some of us have even deleted the DMs (because tbh, most of us thought that cutting them off would be the last of it), this is what we currently have.

Anyways, thanks for reading this long ass mess. Hope y'all stay safe.

[theworldbrewery]

Plot Build: Unnatural Corruption

This is a plotline built to be adapted to your own campaign or for use as a oneshot. Feel free to change names, NPC races, etc., or adapt by adding or removing enemies, traps, etc. to increase or decrease the difficulty of the adventure. This build assumes a 4-person party at 4th level. 

Want a customized plot build for your party? $15 Ko-Fi supporters can leave a private message with their tumblr or email contact information to request a personalized outline.

One-sentence hook:

Creatures infected with a strange plague are coming out of the Black Ridge Marsh; those who live off the land turn ill and feral, and even the trees themselves--well, they don’t quite wither, but the otherwise barren bark blossoms with bright orange, white-speckled blossoms.

The outline will be available under the cut at the end of the post, just in case your players follow your blog 👉😎👉 (pro-tip: if you’re not a DM or prepping to be one, don’t look!)

Groundwork to lay before the plotline begins:

A message to an ally of the party from a Doctor Amada from Black Ridge Marsh requesting aid for a mysterious and lethal illness.

Report from a neighboring town that a merchant shipment into the marsh was attacked by rabid bears; only one person escaped alive to tell the tale. The townsfolk are too afraid of being killed to retrieve the dead or their possessions.

As the party travels into the marsh, note the way the plants are withering and there are no signs of the usual prey animals except as carrion, overgrown with grey-orange fungus or ripped up by predators.

See the rest of the build below the cut.

Major Locations+NPCs:

Moonglow Tavern & Inn - crooked, ramshackle tavern just on the edge of the village, run by Jantriss Pearbrewer, a halfling sorcerer of the Aberrant Mind. She possesses the orange sunstone gem that controls a large Orange Slaad dwelling within the marsh. See her stats under Encounter 3. Her goal is to create unrest and spread the corrupting touch of the slaad under her control. She is crafty and an excellent liar. She claims that Haymander Stirk, a trapper and woodsman, is to blame, implying that he uses magicked traps to catch game that are contaminating the food.

Doctor Amada’s Apothecary - a canvas-walled building for treating the sick, managed by Doctor Gayle Amada and her ward, Forrest Lodestone, an herbalist. Forrest Lodestone is infected, and treats the ill from one side of a canvas partition to prevent Amada from contracting the disease, too. Doctor Amada believes the illness is magical in origin, but she can’t say for certain what the cause is. If the party brings her one of Stirk’s traps, she can verify it was not the cause of the illness, but she thinks the food is responsible somehow. Forrest Lodestone is a vegetarian and didn’t eat any of the “contaminated” meat, so he thinks it can’t possibly be the fault of the game traps. Lodestone has two days left since he developed symptoms of exhaustion: he moves slowly, and struggles to do and remember things.

Haymander Stirk’s Cabin in the Marsh - The cabin is a sturdy log structure. There are animal pelts being stretched on wooden frames outside and a pile of animal bones sits a hundred yards from the house itself. It is inhabited by Haymander Stirk, a trapper and woodsman who has lived in the marsh all his life. He is hostile to strangers, thinking that they’re here to accuse him of causing the disease. If the party can convince him to talk with them, he will reveal that he got sick, too, and by his best guess he’s got a couple hours left. He says he saw something out there--a large, orange, amphibious creature that attacked a bear and then fled; the bear survived, but he saw the same creature again last night, shambling and zombified and covered in orange fungus. At the DM’s discretion, Stirk may already be dead when the party arrives (especially if they go everywhere else first).

The Remains of the Merchant Shipment - two badly damaged wagons. The contents of the wagons have been strewn about the site; food rots in the muck and clothes are scattered across the quagmire. Everything of value has already been taken, and the bodies are gone. The most the party can find are a few missing limbs, grown over with a disgusting grey-orange fungus.

The Slaad Nest - a rock-walled hideaway deep in the marsh. One side of the marsh is a downward, rocky slope, while the rest is sheer cliff; at the back of the nest, a crack in the rock provides a back exit. The nest has several small, scraggly trees and due to the marshy landscape is considered difficult terrain.

Outline:

The herbalists and doctors of Black Ridge Marsh don’t know what to do about the people who come to them covered in pebbled, sickly orange pustules, and when they begin coughing up gray-orange, blood-streaked mucus and die a few days later, they send a call for help from the nearest town. The party may have been hired to investigate, or perhaps they are coincidentally traveling through the marsh around the same time (at the DM’s discretion, based on what suits your needs)

Encounter 1:

Takes place outside Black Ridge village, before the party reaches the village. 

Enemy: 4 zombie wolves. 

To boost its difficulty in a party with heavy damage-dealers, consider maxing out the wolf’s hitpoints to 18 hp rather than the recommended 11.

The DM’s goals in this encounter are 1) establish the threat of zombified creatures in the area, 2) batter the PCs before their arrival in town, and 3) leave the threat open of another zombie-wolf attack later. With that in mind, use description of the wolves to suggest that around their eyes and muzzles is a peculiar orange fungus sprouting from their flesh, aim to harm the PCs rather than drain their resources, and if 2 wolves are killed, let the other 2 attempt to flee the scene rather than fight to the death.

If the party is keeping a lookout for creatures in the marsh, they might be able to detect the wolves before they attack. Use a DC 12 Perception check to determine if the wolves are seen; if they aren’t, the party members are considered surprised for one round. 

After the zombie-wolf encounter, the party comes upon the village. By the time they arrive on the scene, ten of the marsh’s 120 residents are dead, three of them children. There is a funeral taking place at the first house they come to; the body is wrapped in canvas to prevent contamination and placed in a steel box to be sunk in the depths of the marsh.

The townsfolk are desperate for help; five more infected are wasting away in the town’s only apothecary. They’ve traced the problem to their food, so the price of food brought in from other areas has tripled as people will pay a high premium for uncontaminated food.

Through interactions with Doctor Gayle Amada, trapper Haymander Stirk, and barkeep and sorcerer Jantriss Pearbrewer as well as other assorted NPCs, the party can discover assorted details outlined in the location and NPC section above that they can use to inform their actions.

Intermediate encounters can be rearranged depending on what the PCs choose to do and where they go; each of these is tied to a location. You may not use all of these; they depend largely on party choices. 

Encounter 2.1:

Takes place in the village of Black Ridge. 

Enemy: 3 zombies. 

The DM’s goals in this encounter are to 1) cause some havoc in town, and 2) set up the calculating maneuvers of the ultimate villain. The zombies’ strategy is to attack the Moonglow Tavern, which is near the burial grounds of the village. They attempt to break in and attack Jantriss, but never actually harm her--even apparent “attacks” should miss. 

Encounter 2.2:

Takes place in the marsh, preferably while the party is looking for the monster causing all this. Alternately, use before or after they visit Haymander’s Cabin.

Enemy: 3 zombie wolves and 4 slaad tadpoles. 

The DM’s goal here is to set up the appearance of the Slaad later in the plot and follow through on the escape of the zombified wolves at the beginning of the arc, as well as staying consistent with the dangers to be found in the marsh. If they examine the tadpoles, a DC 12 Investigation check shows large protrusions from their heads containing small orange gemstones.

See zombie wolf stats above.

Encounter 2.3:

Takes place at the merchant shipment.

Enemy: 7 zombies. These zombies are blooming with orange fungus. A few of them are missing limbs that match up perfectly to the dismembered limbs the party finds at the scene, making it clear that the merchant caravan was zombified.

Encounter 3.1 (boss fight):

Takes place in the marsh.

Enemy: an orange slaad (homebrew version of Red Slaad).

When the Orange Slaad’s HP is under half its hitpoint maximum, it will claw at a tree as part of its multiattack, then flee through a crack in the rocks behind it. The tree ripples and melts into an ochre jelly.

Encounter 3.2: 

Takes place as a part of the Boss Fight.

Enemy: 1 ochre jelly. After it is formed by the Orange Slaad, the Ochre Jelly acts as a defense against the party while the Slaad attempts to escape. The jelly will attempt to block the opening in the rock at all times, but it can be lured away.

Your goal here is to give the Slaad a chance to recover HP while complicating combat with another enemy. The party can also choose to let the Slaad escape for the time being and break away to take a short or a long rest in the meantime.

Encounter 3.3: 

Boss fight cont’d.

After defeating the jelly or finding another way to track the Slaad, the party can eventually track it down. If the party opted to take a rest, the Slaad is back to full HP; otherwise, it regains 10 hp for every round that has passed.

The Twist: The slaad has a hole carved in its head, and after it is killed, the party can see there is a spot where a chunk of gemstone has been chipped out. The rest is with Jantriss Pearbrewer, who has been controlling the slaad this whole time! She is a sorcerer of the aberrant mind, and she’s furious that her monster is dead.

Reward:

The townsfolk are overjoyed that the monster is defeated. They will reward the party with horses, 200gp, and a letter of commendation they can use at the nearest city to exchange for a favor with the captain of the guard, who grew up in Black Ridge.

[roibinmacaoibhill]

There is a flame in my life that keeps my work going, but its embers barely glow. I put so much energy into fanning it, with very meager results. If it keeps going like this, I wonder if the fire will extinguish despite my efforts. I'm prepared to deal with challenges, but I wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong that I could do better? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Okay, I’m finally done and finished with this shufflemancy reading. Yay! I apologize for taking so damned long with it. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong during the time between when I received your inquiry and this evening. I had to take care of my mom once she got out of the hospital, I had to help my brother remodel and restore the bathroom, which isn’t quite finished yet and probably won’t be for another week or so, and in the end I came down with my own bout of sickness.

Good afternoon (or good evening, depending on when I’m able to get this to you) Sithi!

Okay, here is your reading through shufflemancy. I had to do this a couple of different times because the first attempt didn’t feel right. Actually, this one still doesn’t feel completely right, like I��m missing something, but the messages through the music stopped flowing for me once I got to a certain point. I feel like this is telling me that what I got for you is the best they can share or have about the situation at hand at the moment but there’s possibly more to it that is out of reach at the moment for one reason or another. It could simply be that the remainer of it all hasn’t been put together yet? Or that the time isn’t right for it.

Anyway, here you go. I hope this helps. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need a follow up for it.

Also, one last thing before I properly begin with your reading: Tumblr is weird and tends to remove formatting of all posts I attempt to answer with so please let me know if the reading is hard to read as Tumblr tends to mash together all paragraphs when I answer an ask like this. I could fix it if I was posting this publically on my blog, but I’m sending this to you privately, so I thought I’d warn you just in case Tumblr gets all weird regarding the formatting again. I’ll do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen but my best isn’t always good enough.

Okay, so I just want you to know that while I listened to the songs I received for your reading, I couldn’t help but think that the songs are talking about a person when refering to your flame. I don’t know (and I don’t need to know, honestly),if the flame you mentioned is a person in your life, like a human, or an otherworldly being or entity like a deity, spirit, etc. It could be a concept for all I know but the method by which the songs speak to me have all of my being thinking and feeling that it’s a person of some kind or at least they are treating your flame like a person regardless.

So, with all of that out of the way, For your reading, I received the following songs:

“Whose Got My Back” by Creed.

“Watching Over You: by Alter Bridge. "Reality” by Staind. “For You” by Staind “Now and Never” by Godsmack

“Here We Are,” by Breaking Benjamin “You,” by Breaking Benjamin “You Could Be Happy,” by Snow Patrol

“Call Me,” by Shinedown

Before anything else, I wanted to know the answer to the specific question you asked in part of the overall inquiry about if the fire would go out if everything stays the same and if you don’t do anything fundimentally different to fix it.

So, with that in mind, I decided to ask and received the song “Whose Got My Back” by Creed.

Also, before the song began playing, I got the word “yes,”  for the question through my natural capability of second sight. My capabilities with second sight and other similar things are very limited at the moment for a number of reasons, which I am working on fixing and mending, and I was suprised to observe it come up while I was listening for your message. That happens on occasion but it’s not a thing that happens too often.

Honestly, this song is one of sorrow, loss, anger, and yet hope at the same time.

And this is where the music starts treating your flame as a being or entity. The song has strong Christian hints and connections, which is not suprising, taking the beliefs of a number of the musicians, the lead singer most of all, into consideration. Still, there is also some Native American chanting featured at the ending of this song, so the being, entity, force in question, could be whoever or whatever the person interacting with them/it perceives as.

“Run…hideAll that was sacred to usSacred to usSee the signsThe covenant has been brokenBy mankindLeaving us with no shoulder…with no shoulderTo rest our head onTo rest our head onTo rest our head on”

In essence the answer to your question is most likely yes: Your flame is going to go out, completely, if you don’t do something important, drastic, fundimental, massive, life changing?

Both the tone of the song and the tone of the feel of the message I got from listening to it in the context of receiving a message for you, as well as song of the lyrics make me think that part of the problem is on your end. I get the sense that something you did along the way was the cause of the problem, the beginning of the decline if you will. I also have the feeling that it wasn’t intentional on your part nor that you are (most likely anyway)aware of you did or didn’t do (as the case might actually may be) that caused the problems you are facing.

“Who’s got my back now?When all we have left is deceptiveSo disconnectedSo what is the truth now?”

I feel like this chorus sums up your current situation in a way. Things are wrong, declining, possibly ending, you aren’t sure how to fix it, and thatthere could be a sense of distrust on how to go about fixing it, if there is a way of fixing or even turning things around, or that your flame will co-operate even if you do so.

“There’s still timeAll that has been devastatedCan be recreatedRealizeWe pick up the broken piecesOf our livesGiving ourselves to each other…ourselves to each other\To rest our head onTo rest our head onTo rest our head on”

The second verse is much more hopeful in tone. I honestly feel like there is a chance to fix it, to turn things around, and get the flame roaring again to the point that it doesn’t die down to embers or go out completely. There is, however, also a chance that you might need to find or light a new flame altogether. Either possibility is just as likely as the other.

The next grouping of songs I received for you feels like a weird back and forth between you and the current state of your flame, though I’m not sure if it’s one you realize or are aware of. It could be as simple as feelings and impressions sent back between one another.

The next song I received for you, as well as the first song of this second grouping, is “Watch Over You,” by Alter Bridge.

“Leaves are on the groundFall has comeBlue skies turning greyLike my love”

I feel like this is the state of things that has been going on for a while now with you and your flame. The flame’s ability to inspire, to work with, to embue you, to assist you in whatever way it used to do is waning, fading, disapating gradually as time goes by. While there is this feeling that part of the reason why this has been happening comes from your side of things, as with the song “Whose Got My Back,” I feel like there is an aspect, a strong aspect on a spiritual level, if nothing else, where your flame is fading or dying in some kind of way.

“I tried to carry youAnd make you wholeBut it was never enoughI must go”

Your flame was very happy to burn and light up your light and work, guide you through your manner of doing things, but is getting to the point where it can no longer assist or support  like it used to all the time. There is a strong bitter sweet note coming from your flame, I feel like the flame is happy that it was able to help you up until now, but is sad that it’s running out of resources, of life, of essence that keeps it there to inspire and guide and empassion you to do what you do best. There is also a strong feeling of self pity and grief, as it doesn’t want to leave, doesn’t want to abandon you, but it’s kind of powerless at this point to stop what is happening at the moment.

I also got another strong confirmation from my second sight ability, telling me that yes, we’re on the right track with the way that this reading is taking.

“And who is gonna save youWhen I’m gone?And who’ll watch over youWhen I’m gone?”

Your flame is deeply sad and scared to leave you, to leave behind the work it helped you with, but it’s more worried about who or what is going to aid you, guide you, inspire you even if or when it is gone? I feel a strong sense of hope. Hope that it can be recycled or reincarnated? In a fashion to aid you better in a different form. Or hope that if the worst does come to pass and it disappears for good, that you can find another flame to light your way.

“You say you care for meBut hide it wellHow can you love someoneAnd not yourself?”

I’m getting a strong feeling that this little grouping of lyrics is pointing to part of how you helped with with the disolution of your flame’s essence and influence. 

While I think and feel that this only illuminates a small part of what happened or didn’t happen, as it were, on your part, be you aware of it or not, that you somehow didn’t show it the correct emotions in graditude or thank and celebrate it in the fashion that it needed to sustain itself.

I got yet another  yes through second sight, telling me that while this isn’t the whole of what the problem was caused on your end, it was an important part nonetheless.

And I just got yet another yes through second sight, once more, confirming that whatever part you played in this situation was something you were mostly or even wholely unaware about as it gradually happened.

“And when I’m goneWho will break your fall?Who will you blame?”

What? Hmm, I wonder if this points to another aspect of what happened? Did you ever blame your flame or something that whent on or happened? Even if the “blame” was a spur of the moment kind of thing?

Also, I feel like another aspect of the flame’s disolution lies in some kind of situation where it sacrificed part of itself to mend or make  whole something you were working on or attempting to create and your lack of bridging the gap or breach, giving up a small part of yourself to make the flame whole again, helped further the flame’s disolution.

“Snow is on the groundWinter’s comeYou long to hear my voiceBut I’m long gone”

This last bit of lyrics from this song is simply what will happen, what will be the outcome if you aren’t able to revive and rekindle your current flame.

Another bit of confirmation through second sight, telling me while it’s possible to revive this particular flame, the possibility is fleeting to say the least.

Next song I received for you and the second song in this second grouping of songs is “Reality,” by Staind.

“Reality,” is a song about and dealing with mental health and mental health problems, especially the kind brought about by the person who is suffering from them, be it from denial or through drug abuse, and the person or people in their life that are trying to reach out and help them.

For the context of this song’s lyrics regarding your situation, it’s not talking about mental health at all, at least I don’t think so and I’m getting overwelming sense that it’s not, but is instead the perspective of of your flame in how it perceives  your part in the situation and the flame’s lack of success of attempting to reach out and communicate with you on how to fix the problem before it’s too late.

“the lights are on but you’re not homeyou’ve drifted off somewhere alonesomewhere that’s safe,no questions herea quiet place where you hide from your fears”

Your flame feels that you abandoned it when it needed you the most, especially back at the beginning of the situation where this could have been easily solved. It kept reaching out, trying to communicate with you but you couldn’t hear or sense them properly?

“sometimes when you’re out of ropethe way to climb back up’s unclearthe walls you build around yourselfi guess they also keep you hereare you afraid of what they think?whoever "they” happen to beor are you hiding from the scars of your own reality?“

The flame feels like you ran and hid from the situation when things kept getting worse and when all of it’s attempts to reach out and communicate with you failed.

"so you sedate and drown in vainyou’ve got a pill for every daya suit and tie to mask the truthits ugly head is starthing to show through”

The flame has been doing it can to lessen the pain it’s been going through as well as numbing the problem it has been feeling on it’s end. Which is where the first bout of your feeling the spark starting to dim and faint. It’s been reserving as much energy, energy that it used to give you in abundance when it worked together with you as an equal, but it’s efforts were only really a stop gap at best and didn’t fix the problem on it’s end at all.

The next song I received for you is “For You,” by Staind. This song is about family abuse and neglectance, especially from the perspective of the child.

Like with the previous song, I have an overwelming feeling that with the context of your situation, this song isn’t talking about the exact same thing, but is instead how the flame perceives your reaction upon noticing it’s gradual disolution.

“so you sedate and drown in vainyou’ve got a pill for every daya suit and tie to mask the truthits ugly head is starthing to show through”

Your own attempts to connect with and communicate with this flame fail epically. So the problem of connection and communication isn’t just a one way problem, like how the flame perceives it to be. Your attempts to do more, to stoke it’s fire more, is your attempt to reach out to it further in bigger, better, maybe even more desperate ways to get something to stick, to get something to work, to have some kind of solution at hand.

“I sit here locked inside my headRemembering everything you saidThe silence gets us nowhere!Gets us nowhere way too fast!”

You remember all the good times you had with the flame, working as a team, working in harmony, creating and bringing forth such beautiful and interesting things. The contrast with how it is now, with everything so terrible, has you exhausted, dispairing in a way.

“The silence is what kills meI need someone here to help meBut you don’t know how to listenAnd let me make my decision”

Yeah, it’s a fucked up situation for sure. Getting nowhere, not having a clue how to proceed, and not having any noticible or tangeable results or reactions from the flame isn’t helping anything whatsoever.

“All your insults and your curses makeMe feel like I’m not a personAnd I feel like I am nothing butYou made me so do something‘Cause I’m fucked up because you allNeed attention, attention you couldn’t give”

Whatever you said or thought in this period of time is what the flame took as a demeaning, disencouraging, manner that helped fuel it’s desolation. I feel like whatever it was or what the flame perceived it as was something said or thought in the spur of the moment. Something you would not usually say or think with a better head or heart.

Next, and the final song of this second grouping of songs is “Now or Never,” by Godsmack.

“Can’t remember my name, can’t remember at allFinding you from past times, I think…How did we ever fall?Never knowing the answers, calling myself namesNow is not the question for uswill it ever be again”

If the flame isn’t at this stage of disolution yet, it shall be soon. And when that happens, any sense of knowing or reckonizing you or what you once did together will be gone as if it never happened in the first place. Your flame is on the last embers of illumination, the flame all but dead at this point, and the fuel for it’s fire is empty.

“Why don’t you just fly, fly to me?How long will you wait for me? Never?Now or never again”

Once this state of disolution is reached, the point of no return is at hand. You will need to find a way of rekindling the flame and bringing it to new life, or finding and kindling a new flame altogether. Now is not a time for doubts or second guessing. If you even have a instinctual idea of how this could be done, you need to do it now or risk losing this particular flame forever.

“Feel me up inside you, how you quiver and shakeCan I rake you back to my life?Will you trust me again? Now or never…I’ll never let you down, so fly to me!”

For if you are able to rekindle this particular flame again, properly, there is a strong chance that you can keep this flame burning strong for a very long time moving forward.

And now, for the last grouping of songs. First, I received the song “You,” by Breaking Benjamin for the first song of this final grouping of songs.

“My hands are broken,And time is going on and on, it goes forever (how long).So I got high and lived all that life that I’ve taken all for granted.

Being at a disavantage or not being able to work or create at all, as is the case with the gradual disolution of your flame, has left you a shadow of your former self. This is where the exhaustion comes in.

Not being able to figure out the best way of fixing things, assuming that things could be fixed in the first place drove you up a wall, left you in a daze, or some other kind of state of disconnect and it has only harmed you as time went on and things got worse.

"Promise me you’ll tryTo leave it all behind,'cause I’ve elected hell,Lying to myself.Why have I gone blind?Live another life.”

In some ways, your flame is wishing you would go ahead and find another flame to inspire, illuminate, and guide you as it is almost dead and snuffed out. It wants you to be happy, to be at peace, to work again and be at harmony with what you do. Even as it slowly loses what made itself unique in the first place.

“The only way outIs letting your guard down and never die forgotten (I know).Forgive me, my love,I stand here all alone, and I can see the bottom.”

You’ve either already have or will soon experience the worst moment of this entire situation. The first step to healing and solving the problem and situation is to open yourself up all the way, be raw and vernable to whatever may happen. Letting down your guard in such a way will allow the process to begin.

Next and the second song in this final grouping of songs is “You Could Be Happy,” by Snow Patrol.

“You could be happy and I won’t knowBut you weren’t happy the day I watched you go”

While it’s possible to rekindle your flame’s life and light, the possibility is slim and always so fleeting upon the moment. Instead, your flame wishes that you would do what was best for yourself, even at it’s own expense. though it wishes not to part from your side, your happiness and wellbeing is the most important thing to it.

“Is it too late to remind you how we wereBut not our last days of silence, screaming, blur”

Though it does indeed wish to hold onto what’s left of it’s existance. It doesn’t want to leave or abandon or let you down in any way possible. It clings to what’s little is left in it’s existance.

“You could be happy, I hope you areYou made me happier than I’d been by far”

In the end, if the end does come, it wishes you find another way to be happy, to be fulfilled, to keep moving on without it.

“Do the things that you always wanted toWithout me there to hold you back, don’t think, just do”

It believes that you will heal and be happy again once you find or kindle a new flame.

Next, as the third song in this final grouping of songs, is “Here We Are,” by Breaking Benjamin.

“Sing it for me,I can’t erase the stupid things I say.You’re better than me,I struggle just to find a better way.”

By this point, if things haven’t changed, your flame is gone for good. It hurts and there’s probably a part of you wishing you knew what you could to fix things before they became hopeless.

“So here we are, fighting and trying to hide the scars.I’ll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye.The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone.I’ll be home tonight, take a breath and softly say goodbye.”

It will take a little while for you to heal enough on your own, to find the energy again to seek for or to light a new flame out of your life and to illuminate and inspire you once more.

The fourth and final song in this final grouping of songs is “Call Me,” by Shinedown

“"Wrap me in a bolt of lightningSend me on my way still smilingMaybe that’s the way I should goStraight into the mouth of the unknownI left the spare key on the tableNever really thought I’d be able to sayI merely visit on the weekendsI lost my whole life and a dear friend”

The process of finding and/or igniting a new flame will be a tedious, epic, and hexhausting journey that will put you to some, if not all, of your current limits and maybe even beyond them.

“I’ve said it so many timesI would change my waysNo, nevermindGod knows I’ve tried

Call me a sinner, call me a saintTell me it’s over I’ll still love you the sameCall me your favorite, call me the worstTell me it’s over I don’t want you to hurt It’s all that I can say. So, I’ll be on my way”

You will need to exanim yourself and your life. Once again you are going to need to be completely open, honest, and raw with yourself and the forces of what ignites such flames in the first place to begin again anew.

“I finally put it all togetherBut nothing really lasts foreverI had to make a choice that was not mineI had to say goodbye for the last timeI kept my whole life in a suitcaseNever really stayed in one placeMaybe that’s the way it should beYou know I live my life like a gypsy”

The process is going to be one hell of a journey and will cost some kind of price. Some sacrifices will need to be paid to progress from one side of things to another. There are things that you must find yourself to give up and sacrifice to have again what you once lost.

Okay, that was an intense reading full of pain and sorrow. I hate having to give insights and/or answers like that but hey, insights, wisdom, inspiration, and enlightment can be just as dark and ugly as it can be light and beautiful.

 Like I said towards the beginning of this reading, feel free to contact me if you need/want a follow up reading done or if you have any questions about this particular reading. I hope it helps in some way!

[agentdagonet]

Echoes, Ch. 15

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

 And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

((guess who’s doing NaNo??? IT’S ME! And as long as I can keep it up I’m going to be posting chapters this month. You reap the benefits of my madness!))

          They’d been in the air a few hours before Eggsy started getting antsy. He’d changed en-route into something slightly more presentable, but nowhere near a Kingsman suit. Merlin would be going in to get Harry from the hospital, claiming to be his cousin. He’d have proper identification, of course, but the presence of two people far younger than they would only end with them being connected to either Harry or Merlin as offspring, and no one wanted to try and tread those waters.

          At least, that was the excuse he gave to Merlin about not really wanting to go in and get Harry himself.

          The longer he’d been away from the message back at the mews, the more it felt like a fantasy. Sure, he was in a Kingsman jet en-route to Kentucky and had seen the coordinates for himself- but after a year and change of convincing himself that Harry was dead. And then all this time of learning to accept Haz as all he was going to get in this lifetime. It was... A lot. And more than a little bit unbelievable.

‘Y’know I never right asked- what’d Harry send ya, Merthur?’

‘I’m positive I told you not to call me that.’

‘That ain’t an answer.’

          ‘It was barely anything- short and to the point. “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” and then complaints about the tea. The pillock didn’t even give anything vaguely useful; it’s not as if it weren’t a perfectly secure line! Arsehole.’ Merlin trailed off, mumbling obscenities to himself; likely to keep from doing so at the hospital in the near future.

          Somehow that eased something in Eggsy’s chest that he hadn’t known was tightened (hadn’t acknowledged, more like, as he’d been so disappointed when Merlin’d said they already knew.) but left him floundering. Did he tell Merlin about what Harry had sent him? Would that bring unnecessary questions about Haz and the laptop and Eggsy’s seemingly having moved on at long last from Harry’s untimely (not) demise?

          Come clean, or leave it all in the shadows? And even then, he’d have to remake the decision once faced with Harry. There was no way to have that reunion be private, and Eggsy needed to remember that he was a man exiting a hospital. A man exiting a hospital that he had never actually embraced before, and as desperately as Eggsy wished to do so the moment he saw him, he had the strange feeling it wouldn’t be appreciated. There’d be time for that later, hopefully.

-

          ‘I’m here to see an old bastard that got shot in the face and apparently doesn’t remember his own name. Been here about a year, I’d wager.’

          The woman at the check-in desk looked startled by both his frank address and the content of his words- but his accent tipped her off.

          ‘Ah, You mean patient 171992- guess the laptop actually worked, huh? Wish we’d known all he needed was an internet connection to get out of our hair. Not,’ she added on hastily, ‘that he’s been anything but pleasant, but he’s been healed up far as we can do besides his memory issues for a while now, and it was annoying to be keeping him just because he has nowhere else to go. We always need more space than we have, you know.’

          Merlin’s eyebrow remained raised, but inside he was cackling. The lazy bastard. Or, maybe not lazy, but less functional than he thought. After a moment, he asked to be escorted to the patient’s room, asking questions about his health since V-Day. He’d been in a coma for some time, woken up and refused to answer any of their questions with actual answers. He’d stare blankly before shaking his head and saying there was something there but just out of reach, smiling blandly.

          ‘Somehow I’m not surprised- he’s always had a flair for the dramatic, and if you all broke the news to him about V-Day early on he likely thought he had no one left. There’s only so long a person can remain unclaimed in a hospital before assuming no one’s coming- especially in circumstances like these.’

          ‘Yes, we all felt terribly sorry for him- without proof his mental faculties weren’t faulty we were quite hesitant to give him access to the internet, but he charmed one of the overnight staff into leaving him a laptop. I’m glad it turned out this well- that he had someone looking for him, that is.’ She tucked some hair behind an ear, and glanced at him a moment without breaking pace and looked away quickly.

‘I’m just glad that we both inherited the stubborn gene- most of who’s left of the family just wrote him off within a month of V-Day. I’d nearly given up myself, to be frank- I was about ready to stop sending inquiries about ashes when the peacock sent me an e-mail himself,’ Merlin paused, half his lips quirking upward, ‘complaining about the tea.’ The two shared a giggle before pausing in the middle of the hall.

          ‘I’m positive that this is going to be an emotional reunion, and will likely help him recover any memories still locked away, so I’m going to leave you here. His room is three down, on the left… be patient. I know, he’s family, and that’s why you’re so free with your language about him. But people are here because they’re fragile- and he’s not excluded from that,’ she locked eyes with him, fiercely determined, ‘no matter what kind of a front he puts on. I know we’re likely never going to see him again, but I know that we would all feel better knowing he was going back with you because he’s wanted and not because he’s necessary.’ She nodded to herself, turned, and strutted back from whence they’d come.

He’d be sending her a fruit basket.

          Merlin looked in the direction of Harry’s room, but couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. Once he walked up to that door, once he went inside, there would be no more denying the facts, or the likely direction things were going in once everyone was reunited. More specifically, Eggsy being reunited with a real Harry instead of the ghost he’d been living with. A real Harry he’d been idolising since his demise, and trying to prove himself worthy of the legacy that came with his title, to the point of self-harm.

          Titles. Shit. Eggsy was Galahad, Harry most likely didn’t know that, and they’d filled the rest of the Knight positions once the world was no longer imploding as quickly. Suddenly Merlin strode forward, valiantly fighting a manic grin, and didn’t bother knocking before opening the door.

          ‘I certainly hope you’ve gotten your beauty sleep, Arthur- we’ve got a long journey ahead of us, and you’ve dithered about long enough.’

          ‘...’ Harry’s head had shot up just as Merlin had begun to speak, and though his mouth was open no sound came through. His back was ramrod straight; he didn’t turn toward Merlin, who was leaning against the jamb, instead staring blankly ahead of himself in the vague direction of the ensuite bathroom door that was slightly ajar.

          ‘I know your voice works fine, but I’d appreciate confirmation that your ears aren’t faulty.’

          ‘... Ethan?’ Merlin’s heart stuttered; Harry’s voice sounded thready, and the way his throat worked itself after was enough of a tell- he hadn’t expected him to come. Whether because he was no longer looking at messages from his lines or because Harry had thought him dead was immaterial. He toed off his shoes, tucking them off to one side and closing the door as he walked forward.

          ‘Yes, Harry, I’m here;’ Merlin spoke softly, ran a hand down his back before unceremoniously pulling himself into the bed alongside Harry. ‘We made it through, against all odds, yet again. You need to stop scaring me like this- I’d long since given up, to be honest. I can’t remember a time I’ve been more pleased to be wrong.’ It was whispered, like a secret, as he pulled Harry back to slump against him.

          ‘I- honestly I was so disoriented when I woke up, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I realised that I had been found outside of a church covered in blood, bullet in my head, and a mess of corpses behind me, with no identification. I thought that I’d immediately be pulled in for questioning, but apparently so much had happened that it just got forgotten in the midst of everything else. I knew giving my real name wouldn’t ping any real information besides my parents, and once I knew how long it’d been I knew all my spares would have been retired. I doubted turning on the glasses would work, so I didn’t even try that until I had a steady internet connection I could send a secondary message to-’ Harry rambled, shaking ever so slightly in Merlin’s grip, still not daring to turn toward Merlin’s face.

          ‘Well, you were correct in all of those assumptions- the homing beacon was flickering in and out when we decided to see if it was even operational when tracing your message was taking too long. But I’m here now, and we’re going home and we’re going to build something new from these broken parts.’ Merlin’s hand had come up about Harry’s shoulders, before continuing upward and running itself along the side of Harry’s face he couldn’t see.

Where he’d been shot.

          Harry sighed to himself and gave in, turning to face Merlin fully. It was an uncomfortable position- but this was an uncomfortable moment. There was a thick line of scarring from eye socket to temple and further into the hairline; it spiderwebbed out a fair bit, getting thinner and lighter as it approached the shoddily cut hair (likely left over from bandaging and other medical reasonings for haircuts which were never done well). Harry met his eyes straight on, though the left was so surrounded by scar tissue that Merlin had to stifle a giggle.

‘Are- are you laughing at me?’

‘Are you going to go looking for your honour, Zuko?’

‘I thought we agreed not to talk about-’

          ‘I don’t see anyone here but us, Harry; besides, it’s not as if you’ve got a glass eye, or I’d’ve had to make you a robotic one, Terminator.’ At that Harry could not stifle his own giggles any longer, though they quickly turned to laughter so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes. Merlin could do no more than laugh along, barely able to keep the two of them from falling off- rails be damned, two rather tall fifty-ish year old men were not meant to share a hospital bed.

          Outside the door a sizeable group of nurses and various staff lingered about with smiles on their faces, glad beyond words to hear joy instead of tears.

‘DID YOU CALL ME ARTHUR?’

[throwitawayokay]

This is confusing. A lot of your favorite fandom creators, out of nowhere, are being accused of endangering minors and others for making n*fw content or following/being-friends-with people who do; that is a serious claim, and a frightening one, and no one would say such a thing if they weren’t 100% sure they were correct about it, right? After all, to say something about someone is an awful thing to say, and needs proof and reason, or else it is libel and grounds for a defamation lawsuit and would, morally, be an absolutely terrible thing to accuse a person of if it was not true.

Obviously, they must have reason. Obviously, these accusations are founded and must eventually prove to be true, even if they cannot now, or maybe they can, maybe the accusations would hold up in a court of law, but for some reason the same people making these accusations... won’t come out directly and accuse these people and don’t have any evidence besides what they ‘think’ this other person is thinking.

Someone has made an argument, somewhere, that writing n*fw of aged up minor characters in atla is predatory behavior and endangering to minors. Is it?

1. Is it legal?

  Easy answer, yes. It’s legal. By definition it is p*rn of adult characters, regardless of where it originates. None of it is on tumblr, where it would not be allowed, but instead on a web site where it is clearly tagged and behind an age limit. In fact, this argument would be laughed out of court. Because no law is protecting the n*fw depictions of fictional characters, who are not real, regardless of age, besides potentially copyright.

If the stories are about underage fictional characters? It still, at least by USofA law, still not illegal. Yes. That’s correct. Stories depicting underage fictional characters in s*xual situations does not follow under the definition of child p*rn and is allowed in publication and law. To see proof of that, besides reading the actual law which you are free to do, simply note the fact that Stephen King’s It is not only still in print but recently had two film adaptations.

So that, would in fact, be allowed; however what is being called into question is depicting adult fictional characters in n*fw situations. A completely different thing that is, actually, very different from the other. But, to simply answer the question of legality, it’s all legal.

2. When is it endangering to minors?

  This content can, in fact, be endangering to minors when they are exposed to it either without warning, in a search, or if they are sent this content by another person. Ways that this could happen are if n*fw images appear google searches (where such content can be reported and taken down) or if n*fw writing is not properly tagged or accompanied by archive warnings (posted on ffnet for example or not properly rated on ao3). If this is happening, it is a good idea to go to the website to report it properly, or have someone contact the artist/author about the lack of tagging - the content itself is irregardless, the problem that exists here is the lack of warning.

N*fw art is also not allowed by the tumblr guidelines; feel free to report it if seen. Please, however, take a step back to remember than an image of a person in their underwear is not, in fact, p*rnography. If you’ve ever walked past a billboard for a clothing company or seen a Victoria’s Secret catalogue you should know this. There is, in fact, an actual parameter for what sets apart sfw and n*fw.

If this content, however, has been properly tagged and is behind a proper age limit, with warnings and the like, it is not endangering toward minors. Clicking on a n*fw art or writing with clear warnings for what it is does not make the creator of that content responsible; a p*rn star is not responsible for endangering minors if a minor answers falsely to a website agreement stating they are 18 and views their content. The responsibility lies with the minor as well as the guardians of that minor for not teaching them how to responsibly search the internet and recognize what they should or should not be viewing.

If you are not mature enough to recognize this, you should not be online.

3. But I disagree?

  You are within your rights to have a difference of opinion or feel uncomfortable if a person posts links to their n*fw content, or mentions that they make n*fw content. In fact, n*fw content makes many people uncomfortable. There are many ways to avoid seeing this.

First, go to the filter on your blog and filter all n*fw related tags you can think of. Next, block the blogs you do not personally like; feel free to block as many blogs, for any reason, that you like. This is absolutely fine and no explanation is needed. If you feel uncomfortable having your blog followed by any adults at all, you can also take steps to make the blog unsearchable and only follow as few people as you like.

What you should not do is harass people for making content that you personally do not like. This includes n*fw content. Making such incredibly serious claims as to state someone is a predator who endangers minors for making n*fw content in your fandom is unfounded, dangerous, and entirely irresponsible. Adults participating in this rhetoric need to take a very good look at themselves, and minors who have been experiencing anxiety as a result of this claim, I am very sorry.

4. What was the aunt-suki thing?

  Where did this whole thing start? No one was making this point only a few months ago, did it just pop up out of nowhere?

^ this blog, since deleted [also goes formerly by tumble-dump (now lil-baby-man) as well as jetru(deleted) safe-for-atla, and dennis-quaid] spearheaded this opinion after accusing one of the largest creators in the fandom, an adult doc (relevant later), of endangering minors for an image posted to tumblr with possible suggestive themes (Tumblr does not allow n*fw art, it was not n*fw). Aunt-Suki is a 23 year old, self-described “titanium white” woman. She stated directly that anyone who posted n*fw content behind age limit barriers was predatory and that n*fw artwork of atla characters was rampant on this website without evidence.

After curating a blocklist, and admittedly receiving hate for doing so (despite oddly enough asking for anon hate on several occasions) aunt-suki did in fact create a first draft blocklist including fandom creators who make n*fw content, who are follow or are friends with those who make nsfw content despite not doing it themselves, and people who specifically asked her to be on the blocklist. This, in itself, was fine. A list of creators making n*fw content could, in fact, be helpful and good for those who do not want to see such content to have a handy resource of who to block and avoid. Unfortunately, the rhetoric of “they are all predators” was something aunt-suki fostered and continued to repeat, getting a lot of people to also feel the same way. This invited harassment, much of which directly done and targeted at others by aunt-suki. She repeatedly stated on her blog ‘I am safe, no one else is unless I say so, in order to keep yourself safe you must ask me who is bad [paraphrase, not direct quote]’ insisting that anyone who wished to know who was a predator on the website had to privately DM her for the information. Aunt-Suki used this to gain followers of minors and to specifically foster friendships with them.

We know this because aunt-suki made a post exposing herself. An anon asked her to defend the way she interacted with minors and she defended herself with phrases such as “I love kids so much more than grown ups”[quote], stating she runs a server of 13+ wlw and they all “care a lot about each other”; she also admitted she takes it upon herself to “expose kids to [heavy topics]” including race, sexism, queer issues, mental health, politics, etc. Aunt-Suki is not a trained professional for these issues and admits in the same post that she does not understand how there could be any difference in power dynamics between her and these teenagers.

In addition, while defending these close relationships with minors that she specifically admits to reaching out for, Aunt-Suki also divulged her past at 18 years old of saying the n-word (excused by explaining she has a black friend); somehow stating that this is the reason why she should, as a 23 year old white adult, be allowed to discuss “heavy topics” with minors.

This most certainly calls into question the fact that it was, with one exception, non-white creators that aunt-suki chose to publicly call out by name.

After being asked to defend herself for these actions she admitted to, Aunt-Suki deleted her blog but has continued to go online on her others blogs and discords, dm’ing others and making posts accusing people who called her out of being predators, asking for sympathy, blaming her actions on her adhd, and refusing to answer any of the messages sent to her. Other large creators have made posts about this, very rarely using her name to allow her some anonymity or time to explain her actions, which she has not done. She choose instead to send anonymous messages further accusing these creators.

5. Why did you tell me that?

  This directly illustrates the problem with presenting an issue such as n*fw art/writing in the fandom without pointing out why others might disagree with it; and jumping past logic to decry those who don’t agree with extremely serious accusations. Someone with actual ill (or misguided) attentions may take advantage, deliberately isolating minors and portraying themselves as ‘good and safe’ while slowly whittling down who the minors can and cannot follow until no one able to call them out when they are the one participating in actual behavior that is inappropriate to minors.

6. I still don’t agree with the first points.

  That’s fine. Please call out actual predators if you see them. Do not, however, do so without any evidence or for reasons that simply are not, and never would be, considered basis for doing so in any legal or reasonable capacity.

[mikami03iscancelled]

Callout Post for renai-tsumi/ai-to-tsumi/mikami03/nekomi03

I’m sure everyone who RP’s in the Persona 4 community (ESPECIALLY people who RP Yosuke Hanamura) has seen this person around, and not for necessarily for good reasons, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

This is a callout post for Han, also known as @inabas-prince, ai-to-tsumi, @renai-tsumi, mikami03, and nekomi03. 

Update: Han has changed her URL to our-twisted-love.

Update: Han has since moved blogs, so her current URL is unknown. That said, this post will remain up, for those who wish to know what Han has done and why this blog exists. 

I don’t like to do callout posts. I really, honestly don’t, since most are designed with a witch hunt in mind. However, this situation with Han has been going on for MONTHS, and clearly, nothing has changed. She hasn’t learned from her mistakes, and even though we did our best to keep the situation as controlled and as private as possible, she has bullied, harassed, and stalked people, MONTHS after they have stated that they want nothing to do with her.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Before I begin, I would like to direct everyone to Mikami’s first callout, since it will provide context to the situation. Here is the tl;dr version:

Han is infamous in the Persona 4 fandom for harassing people, ESPECIALLY those who RP the character Yosuke Hanamura. She is also very infamous for trying to coerce them into ships, pressure them into NSFW roleplays, and will continue to try and contact them even when they have expressed NO interest in doing so. Unfortunately, one Yosuke in the fandom, under the URL kunaiflourish, has received the brunt of her harassment, as shown in the callout post before.

Han showed VERY obsessive behavior that became uncomfortable and flat-out creepy. She practically forced herself on kunaiflourish, and when they FINALLY blocked her, she wasn’t having it. I won’t provide screenshots here, since the callout speaks for itself. She began to send messages to kunaiflourish even MONTHS after they had blocked her, begging them to unblock her, and even wrote walls of text blaming kunaiflourish, saying that if they told her no and “communicated” with her, this never would have happened.

So right off the bat, we have: stalking, victim blaming, and harassment (both sexual and nonsexual) under her belt. She’s also not above trying to get other people involved, since, like in the callout, she tried to contact kunaiflourish’s friends and get answers from them. Talk about obsessive. 

Now, I know what you all are thinking. “This happened months ago, why are you bringing all of this up now, months after the situation has seemingly resolved itself?”

There’s a very simple answer to that: Because it hasn’t resolved itself. In fact, it’s worse than ever, because Han has managed to somehow show EVEN CREEPIER behavior than she did before.

This all started when she joined a Persona RP Discord that is run by heartofthemagician (Han has long since been banned from the Discord, in case anyone was wondering) as Nanako Dojima. A few people, including myself and other mods, were already well aware of her reputation, however, we came to a decision to let her stay. Call us naive, but we like to give everyone a fair chance, and didn’t want to ban her from the server right off the bat without reason. She hadn’t done anything to anyone in the server at the time, so we reluctantly let her stay.

Big mistake.

First of all, I am unsure if anyone is aware, but Han has been known to RP incest. Unfortunately, she has long since deleted said RPs (either that, or has made them difficult to find. If anyone can provide this evidence, the submission box is open), however, she DID admit to RPing this content when she was confronted by a server member about it. Instead of trying to deny it, she admitted that she tagged it and asked “Why can’t you blacklist the tag?”

While this in itself is not necessarily bad (I, personally, do not condone incest, but I understand that fiction =/= reality), it is pretty obvious from her reputation alone that she does not understand the boundary between fiction and reality. This was shown the entire time she was in the server: Every chance she got, she was creepily affectionate with our Yu Narukami.

Now, these interactions seem mostly innocent, but they happened VERY frequently. People were already uncomfortable by Han always derailed conversations in the server, talked over people in voice chat, and tried to make everything about her. She was incredibly self centered, and tried to turn every IC interaction towards Nanako.

On top of that, given her history with incest, it only further made the Yu uncomfortable. Han has been known to try and force ships, and seems to have a strange fascination with imouto-type characters. Take this information as you will.

Things went downhill when the Akechi finally confronted her about her behavior, and told her to tone it down a notch. She left for a few days, and when she came back, naturally, the Akechi (who also happens to be my boyfriend) decided to ask if she had reflected on her actions.

This is where the meat of everything begins. Unfortunately, because of Tumblr’s tendency to fuck up images, it would be tedious to upload every single screenshot at once, so I have taken the liberty of placing the conversation into a drop box link, which can be found here. For context, the conversation between “aruru” and “Godess Bestow” is the conversation. The first three caps in the folder take place after the conversation between them. Also, just to be safe, this link does contain mentions of suicide and self harm. 

Another tl;dr version:

Han admitted to stalking kunaiflourish and continuing to send them memes and messages on anonymous even 5 months after they had blocked her.

Han admitted that she still plans on getting in touch with kunaiflourish and MAKING them write with her.

Han claims that she is not stalking because “no personal information was involved”.

Han refuses to admit that she is in the wrong, and still blames kunaiflourish, stating that kunai NEVER gave an explanation for why they blocked her.

Han tried to force Aruru into talking to kunaiflourish and other RPers to get them to unblock her.

Han sent anonymous messages to Aruru asking why he blocked her, even though he gave his reasons for blocking her and told her to leave him alone.

Han threatened to commit suicide to me after she tried to get answers from ME after Aruru blocked her. As you can see, it didn’t go over well.

After all of this, you would think that Han would have taken the hint and left Aruru alone, even after he blocked her on Tumblr. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all, and in fact, Aruru had to turn off anonymous after he received this lovely message from Han:

And I’m not the only person who you sent this shit to, either.

Nice job lying about trying to kill yourself and guilt tripping someone who was fucking uninvolved with the situation.

I believe this is all that needs to be said about the situation, and all of these screenshots speak for themselves. 

Han, if you’re reading this (though I doubt you will. You won’t listen to anyone unless it’s to sugarcoat you and coddle you, right?):

kunaiflourish DID give you your answer for why they won’t write with you and has EXPLICITLY told you to leave them alone. Aruru has also told you to leave him alone, and yet you continue to message them.

Did you know that you can go to JAIL for this? This is enough evidence to have LEGAL CHARGES pressed against you for STALKING. Here is an entire site about it if you don’t believe me.

 You can have a CRIMINAL RECORD, all because you can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is that what you want on your hands? A record that could PERMANENTLY ruin your chances at good education and getting a decent job (though, since you’re supposedly 20 years old and still in high school, you did a fine job of doing that on your own), all over ROLE PLAY. All over playing make believe on a blogging website.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP doing this shit. You are not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting people and only further sullying your reputation. You are making people fear for their wellbeing and actively and KNOWINGLY making people hurt themselves for your own selfish gains. If you are truly as suicidal as you say... Although, I have my doubts, since you’re posting on your blog like everything is all right barely 24 hours after you just threatened suicide,

then please, for the love of god, get some professional help, because you desperately need it. You are going to destroy people’s lives if you keep doing what you do.

REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF.

[mf-fairy-princess]

Problematic and Proud: Instagram Artist Beebosloth

Alright, I tried posting this to Reddit but that whole website is fucked so. Tumblr is crazy toxic and I want absolutely nothing to do with this website lmao, I just know if it’s posted here, it will show up in google search results. 

Alright, so there's this artist on Instagram. Nothing new and unique there. In fact, there isn't really anything special about this particular prick at all. Rather, he more-so represents a larger cancerous growth within Instagram; entitlement, and toxicity.

I know, I know, "Hey dumbass, that's the entirety of the internet." Yeah, you're damn right it is. Does that make it any less gross? Any less pathetic? These humans are still humans, they know what they're doing.

So what exactly is Beebosloth? Unless you've come here from googling the name followed by some key-word synonyms of "problematic," you're probably unfamiliar with his presence on earth. @Beebosloth (Stan Osipov) is a pretty general artist on Instagram, pumping out at least one sketch a day; his works are namely skeletal, usually black and white, usually accompanied with an odd little strip of slogan text which rarely fits the image subject. People have gotten his works tattooed, he's almost up to 300k followers now, etc etc, he's doing alright for himself.

If there's one thing that millennials and gen-Z kids' insane internet vigilante rampages have taught us, it's that successful people can be, and often are, problematic as all hell. Beebosloth is no exception.

I had been following the artist for close to 3 years, giving him general support through likes on his posts, but also going an extra mile in standing up for him for 2 problems he had been facing repeatedly as an artist. First, due to the general popular aesthetic of his art, his works were getting reposted a lot, often without credit. There would even be imitation accounts which would post nothing but his art, essentially pretending to be him. I repeatedly took it upon myself to give them the ol' trollish finger wag, in an unlikely hope they'd better their behavior or at least let passersby know who the real artist was.

Another problem he was facing was Instagram support; (Ooh what a surprise, when has that ever happened to anyone)? The way he went on about it had us all believing that Instagram would never punish those who committed these unethical acts. And that was the entirety of the problem at first; not punishing other people who had done him wrong. He made several posts and stories complaining about this, usually enticing his followers to go out and do his bidding in this regard. Then . . there was an incident, and the first instance that really alerted me to Beebosloth's behavior.

This is a man who spends half his posts whining because he refuses to learn how internet-related copyright laws work. Even though with the sheer amount of trials and failures he's experienced, he should be an expert on them by now. A dude who claims every 5 seconds that he's getting his work stolen . . . which is why this next part is such a kicker.

I wish I could remember the time exactly, (but unfortunately I'm not pursuing a degree in problematic Instagram artists, and these details have just really just slipped my mind). It was March; I believe of this year. I scrolled through Instagram like normal, came upon a new post by beebosloth, and noticed that this one had about twice the typical amount of attention attached to it. Osipov had posted a doodle of a skeleton arm, holding up a ticket which read "1 WAY TICKET TO HELL." Pretty simple, pretty basic. And the next picture on the slide was the exact same thing, only this time, it wasn't in his style. I believe he also included screenshots of an incredibly petty argument between him and the other artist, in which she accused him of stealing the design from her. - In the caption he's ranting, he's raving, Instagram copyrighted his version and removed it. He does something else too . . . .

Now, these images are the exact damn same, I wish I could find her original work but it has really just disappeared. After what Stan Osipov does next, it wouldn't really surprise me if she deleted her Instagram to cut out the toxicity of this whole situation. And here's the most important part to consider of all of this; not beeblosloth's cruel, immature, reaction, not his history of sending his followers to spend their own personal time being terrible to other users on his behalf, this-

The artist who claimed Osipov had stolen her work- posted it first. Actually I believe she posted it a few weeks before beeblosloth ever did. And keep in mind- the only feasible difference between these two photos is the art style. They are exact same in every possible detail. Now, unfortunately, at the time I was a member of beebosloth's cult following. I really made up any possible excuse to believe that somehow, regardless of how impossible and ridiculous it would be, this girl was lying about beebosloth just ripping her off majorly. Even though- she kept the matter private, between themselves. Beebosloth was the one who posted their screenshots, made this a "let's get everyone involved and invoke the wrath of my followers" thing.

In the caption, (or maybe in a new post), Beebosloth then goes on to beckon everyone to draw this image, he starts a #drawthisinyourstyle challenge. He also, of course, incites his followers to go send hate the the original artist. I will admit I stupidly wanted to believe beebosloth was the original artist, and maybe there was some justification to him posting the screenshots, but that part, I didn't like. That was totally unnecessary, even if he was somehow telling the truth.Can we just step back and assess how insane this situation is?

Osipov casually rips off another artist

He gets caught, called out in private, and the image is removed

He reposts his imitation image, as well as the original one, the original artist's details, the screenshots from their private conversation; he tells his followers to go send hate to the original artist because she hurt his feelings by calling him out.

He starts a competition encouraging everyone to rip off her image in their own style. In turn getting dozens of results, making a considerable chunk of the Instagram art scene focus all negative attention on the original artist. "Well if I can't have it, I guess everyone can." (It's almost impossible to find left over images of the challenge, but I remember there being dozens upon dozens of submissions. I will post one I managed to find, as well as the original rip-off by beebosloth.)

And me and his other followers were totally blind to this insane, ridiculous, behavior. I find that all of my red flags that make me dislike people and their actions boil down to a very simple act: Being shitty to another human when they're not doing anything harmful. That's exactly what Osipov was doing here, and I just kind of let him convince me she was the perpetrator.

-- The remainder is an explanation of why I personally snapped out of this and realized he is just a really sleezy dude, it gets a bit petty, read at your own discretion. --

I kept following him after this for months, sending likes to those stolen general commercial T-shirt slogans slapped on a sketch of skeletons doing basic little things. And then one day a few weeks ago, an image crawled across my feed whose incredibly vague message just didn't sit right with me. The image, as you should be able to see here (if I've successfully posted it), contains a scene of someone trying to post something on instagram, and there is an error message which reads "Oops, nobody gives a shit about you or your selfies. Post anyways?"

First reaction: YIKES, who has Stanny got a vendetta against today? The username of the poster was "dumb bitch" to boot. I honestly couldn't tell if he was attempting to shame someone specific, people who just enjoy posting their selfies, women on Instagram, the message was so unclear and the caption wasn't a help to say the least. Actually the caption was . . . The only possible relation the caption could have had to the art itself, was . . . no actually I really can't find a damn thing to relate the two. It had the same weird aggressive energy as the image, but it was essentially an uncomfortable and unwanted pep-talk? No . . . what in the fresh hell would you call that caption?

Anyways, I just assumed the caption didn't really have a direct relation to the art image, as that was something he'd done before and is pretty typical on Instagram. But I still had a problem with the message of the image itself; essentially teaching people to feel bad about posting their selfies, and holding some sense of superiority to those who dare share an image of their face every so often. How incredibly boring, and my reaction posted in the images explains why this personally pissed me off. And if there I talk like someone complaining in an Instagram comment section, well . . . I wonder why.

His reaction - Oh man his reaction, you could not have killed someone's loyalty to you faster if you used their pet in your omelet. I mentioned how I was confused at the caption in the end of what I was saying, and I guess that's the part that offended him?! I haven't a clue how, but he starts in: "The fact that you don't understand leads me to believe that you are still very lost."

. . . . WHAT?! bahahaha! Where the hell did that come from?! My mouth fell agape. First of all, I didn't understand his caption for the shear fact that it was vague and unrelated to the image. Secondly, beebolsoth, where in the shit did I say anything about being lost and remind me when I paid you to be my psychiatrist.  He goes on in this ridiculous narcissistic tone, making totally wild claims as if he's known me my whole life and can speak to my personal character, and my mental state. What a creep. Is he playing The Rewired Soul here? I didn't know, I didn't particularly care. The mild entertainment I received from viewing his images wasn't worth being talked to like I've just told freaking Sigmund Freud I don't like the taste of lima beans. After receiving some darling, and for some reason, racist hate from his cult followers, I unfollowed him.

But really, isn't that just one of the cringiest feelings out there? Realizing you've been doing back-flips for someone who would treat you like absolute dirt just for the fun of it? Well, now this experience is documented. Hopefully the true original artist of the "One way ticket to hell" piece is doing alright. And the next time Osipov does something weird and horrible, people can come here, and know it definitely wasn't the first time.