#Tumblr Influencer

[alexaloraetheris]

When you have a dog with a bladder the size of a fucking peanut and no backyard, like me, when the dog starts whining and doing the 'gotta pee!' wiggles, you gotta take him on walkies no matter the state you're in. This has resulted in my neighbors seeing some very interesting sights over the ten years I've had him. So far they've seen me in:

Hairdresser's poncho with my hairdye still setting.

With my hair in those curly snake rollers

Those little foam bomb curlers

One half of my head curled, the other clipped out of the way

Generally, if there was a curler invented in the last 100 years, the neighbors had seen it on my head

My pjamas. All of them.

In a white tshirt, soaking wet

A bathrobe and a turban

Dressed like a beduin, often(I burn easily, and if I don't have time to put on sunscreen before having to dash, I just cover myself in loose airy clothes from head to toe)

Various halloween costumes, including the one with peeling zombie skin

Including too big fake vampire teeth I glued on with denture glue that turned out to be a bit too strong

With green hairspray that was so shoddy it dyed EVERYTHING green. Including my hair, the rest of me, my bathroom and my dog.

A funeral outfit. Twice.

Fancy opera outfit, which I finished barefoot with my heels in hand.

With geisha paint (was practicing for a friend's cosplay)

All kinds of slutty clubbing outfits

Covered in blood (had to pill our tomcat, who did not want to be pilled, and I didn't notice the scratches had started bleeding again until halfway through the walk)

Covered in very convincing fake bandages (I acted in an insurance commercial and had to look like I'd been attacked by a wild animal)

Probably more, but that's off the top of my head. Currently have American 40ies curlers in my hair and sent a pic to bestie, resulting in this convo:

And that, my friends, if how I've become the friendly neighborhood Tumblr influencer.

[nieuwe-secession]

Sunlight 2017

[theehorsepusssy]

i have 1500 more followers on my porn blog than my regular blog... memes don't sell? llol

how do you sell a meme? can you make money on here? like i could be an influencer or some shit?

[calkale]

idk if you remember it but I want you to know that thanks to a post you made a hot second ago sometimes I quietly say i need to jerk my it to myself

truly sometimes all you need is your it to be jerked

the influence i have, sometimes you really just need to jerk your it and then it'll all be okay

[averysillygoose]

guys my friend is on a mission to find my tumblr can yall make me famous before she finds it bc it would be rlly funny.....

[icybloggss]

Okay so a tumblr influencer is a thing?? I’m one step closer to my dream job😭

[artemisia-black]

A post from the alternative reality where Tumblr influencers are a thing:

“ Hey today’s post is sponsored by the Pikachu man, who promised that for every 10k of likes, he will email Martin Scorsese and ask him to make Goncharov.

And if that’s not enough, use the code Artemisia19 for 10% of Tumblr merch that lets all your loved ones know that in the year of our lord 2023, you still use Tumblr.”

[mikumadds]

what if I just start telling people im a Tumblr Influencer. what even is a tumblr Influencer. the closest thing we have are tumblr funnymen™️ and beloved book authors

[afragmentada]

Tem gente que nasce fadado a concertar o mundo ao redor

Normalmente nascem em famílias desestruturadas

E buscam ao longo da vida, o equilíbrio em tudo!

Esse tipo de gente se adapta facilmente;

E nunca fala sobre o que sente, mas sempre sente.

Compreendem o incompreensível

Amam mesmo sem receber amor de volta

Sabe tudo sobre entrega e quase nada sobre troca

Tem gente que nasce no meio do fracasso

E nem por isso é fracassado

Se torna ambicioso e coleciona sonhos pra morrer com honra.

Esse tipo de gente sente o mundo como ninguém sente

Esse tipo de gente não tem paciência pra lamentação

São pessoas que agem e depois lidam

Esse tipo de gente tá no meio da gente diariamente

O que mais existem nos adultos são crianças machucadas

Tem gente que sangra sorrindo, esse tipo de gente sabe que chorar não torna nada mais bonito ou menos doloroso

Tem gente que cresce sendo criança

Tem gente que perdeu a infância aprendendo a ser adulto

Esse tipo de gente se adapta facilmente e pouco fala do que sente, aprendeu a lidar sozinho com tudo desde sempre.

No escuro do quarto tem um canto

No canto do quarto tem um canto

Um canto que ecoa da voz de quem se magoa

Que sente, que suporta, que processa e continua

Nas letras das melodias tem um voz que sai gritando tudo o que nunca disse;

sobre todos os que lhe viam como instrumento e não como voz que ecoava e sentia.

Tem gente que sente tudo e precisa agir como se não sentisse nada.

[chaotic-planet]

y'all my friend named Colton keeps calling me a "tumblr influencer" and will not listen to my criticisms so y'all get his ass please

[overandunderland]

HEY GUYSITSJOJOSIWA

And I'm here to talk about OVIPOSITING

GET READY WITH ME WHILE I SPIN THE "THE WHEEL OF UNIVERSES FOR DANNY PHANTOM TO CROSSOVER TO"

what's a tumblr influencer? what am i influencing? my mental illness? 😭

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[nieuwe-secession]

Thinking about the next winter .......

[terrortwinunicorn]

At least naked isn't on the list

When you have a dog with a bladder the size of a fucking peanut and no backyard, like me, when the dog starts whining and doing the 'gotta pee!' wiggles, you gotta take him on walkies no matter the state you're in. This has resulted in my neighbors seeing some very interesting sights over the ten years I've had him. So far they've seen me in:

Hairdresser's poncho with my hairdye still setting.

With my hair in those curly snake rollers

Those little foam bomb curlers

One half of my head curled, the other clipped out of the way

Generally, if there was a curler invented in the last 100 years, the neighbors had seen it on my head

My pjamas. All of them.

In a white tshirt, soaking wet

A bathrobe and a turban

Dressed like a beduin, often(I burn easily, and if I don't have time to put on sunscreen before having to dash, I just cover myself in loose airy clothes from head to toe)

Various halloween costumes, including the one with peeling zombie skin

Including too big fake vampire teeth I glued on with denture glue that turned out to be a bit too strong

With green hairspray that was so shoddy it dyed EVERYTHING green. Including my hair, the rest of me, my bathroom and my dog.

A funeral outfit. Twice.

Fancy opera outfit, which I finished barefoot with my heels in hand.

With geisha paint (was practicing for a friend's cosplay)

All kinds of slutty clubbing outfits

Covered in blood (had to pill our tomcat, who did not want to be pilled, and I didn't notice the scratches had started bleeding again until halfway through the walk)

Covered in very convincing fake bandages (I acted in an insurance commercial and had to look like I'd been attacked by a wild animal)

Probably more, but that's off the top of my head. Currently have American 40ies curlers in my hair and sent a pic to bestie, resulting in this convo:

And that, my friends, if how I've become the friendly neighborhood Tumblr influencer.

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[icybloggss]

I really miss the old tumblr xo