#TryingToMoveOn

[xfadednightmare]

Life lately... Time slips by, one day fading into the next. My mind’s loud, but the world feels quiet. I’m searching for something, anything, to make me feel alive. But for now, I’m just here. Maybe it gets better. Maybe not. Life lately... is a blur, and I’m just trying to keep moving. 🌙💭🌧️

[andy-tyson]

Date: February 1 I see them laugh, live, and move on, While I’m trapped in shadows of a haunting dawn. How do they smile, pretend it’s all fine? I’m stuck in that moment, lost in the line.

[moonlightheretic]

Cruel Comfort

I used to think love was just for other people. I could never understand it, solitude appealed to me more.

But, then I met you on chance alone.

You were unexpected. 

And for the first time, I preferred someone else over the company of solely myself. 

I didn’t realize I loved you until you turned me down. 

Kindly. 

You have never said anything unkind to me ever, even when you reject me it is full of compassion. 

“Find someone closer.” 

If it was so easy I would have already done so. I can’t imagine anyone else, you are the only one for me.

Your words do not deter me, you aren’t fading from my mind. 

Am I destined to remain heartbroken?

Thanksgiving was a cruel comfort. 

Happiness abound, everyone elated and full of cheer. 

I see them and I see us. The robed couple sitting with their coffee, fresh from the spa. This place has so much to offer those that come in twos. Here, I thought the distraction would be enough, the holiday would be enough, but I only see you in the faces of strangers and I can’t help but stare. I only see you playing golf in the afternoon light. I see you recording this place with your phone and walking the trails. 

This place is one stroke away from a landscape painting reincarnated into reality. You would appreciate it. 

I wish you could see it. See me. I could offer you so much. 

I can’t help but think of what could have been. What this holiday would look like with you and I. I wish I could enjoy it knowing there was a possibility between us, a bud of hope that could bloom with each passing moment. 

But I shouldn’t be thinking of you anymore. 

My friends are losing patience with me and soon I will have to bury your name under false smiles and silence. 

Your name is an uncommon one, just as is your spirit, but I keep seeing it in odd places. 

In places where it shouldn’t be...you follow me and you are unaware of it.

Is the universe showing me signs? Or am I bending the universe around you--to my will?

I still hope, I still pray for you while also wondering if maybe one day I’ll forget you. 

Like you have probably forgotten me. 

Maybe if I was thinner, smarter, prettier, you would give me a chance. 

But you deem me unworthy of conversation. 

Maybe one day, I will forget your steady brows and soulful eyes, the purity in your grin, your tall frame and warm embrace. Maybe one day I will forget this hopeful feeling. 

I do not regret loving you. 

I can’t make myself regret it, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. 

I might have to block you, but I don’t want to. I am afraid of a future without you. 

In loving you, I never felt more alive. To move on I will have to kill a portion of myself. 

The Question I cannot answer is...do I remain in this place because I want to or am I only preserving my life?

[verbalmind]

Rebound.

Feeling like what you did to me, you couldn’t do it to her. 

Not being able to contact her… you called my phone 5 times hoping I’ll answer. 

And then every time I answered that put the stamp on when she didn’t answer I was sure to pick up the phone. 

You did this cycle to me so many times you probably forgot how it even started.

I ended the cycle because I didn’t understand it. You came back to me… you found a way to get in contact with me… and nothing changed. 

Me: Why stay in something when you're not giving me what I want. 

Me: I tried so many times… I tried to stay in it… I tried.. I gave you so many times to fix what was wrong… 

I found my voice and when I did… you made me feel like I was wrong.. You gaslighted me… you made me feel crazy and complete shit… 

I’ve always wanted answers but your lips were sealed… I was talking to a wall on issues that mattered to me

After a while, your compliments, your lip bits, your laugh, and your smile just felt fake, felt like manipulation because it was… 

I had my wrongs too… 

I was quiet, I was wrapped in an emotional ball…

I knew what I wanted... I knew what I thought I wanted and when I would even slip some of it out…

I was left with silence, I’m wildn, or who is this talking to me… 

We would get in heated arguments and all I would do is block, block because I didn’t want that type of anger in my life

It's been in my life before and nothing good has come out of it…

My dad would have that type of anger and it would lead to nothing but destruction and with the anger we brought out of each other it was leading to happen to us. 

I’ve always felt like you never saw me. You saw me I could become. You saw the me , that was probably her. 

When I saw you I saw the you. The you I had in the beginning. As we continued to talk I didn’t recognize who I was talking to. It was as if I was trying to play chess in the chance of winning to win who I wanted back. 

Come to the realization that you who are now, is who I’m going to get because it’s you. Or it's you when you're with me. 

I have to accept what it is… which is nothing.

Which is nothing more than memories, good and bad. 

Nothing more than moments, what-ifs, that are slowly disappearing, and me wanting to reach out to you. 

Reaching out to someone that is no longer there. 

The goodbyes have happened. And they will continue to happen until your nothing more than a memory. Until you're nothing more than something I think in passing. Until I don’t think of you at all. 

Yup. Damn.

[nowimscaredofheights]

“Am I gonna be alright?

I wanna kick myself for falling so hard

Momma, can you die from a broken heart?”

~Maddie & Tae~

[dkcod]

JUN 25...

POR QUÉ NO PUEDO DEJARTE IR, SACARTE DE MI MENTE?!

Hoy me acordé de ti, el olor de tu perfume se hizo presente, junto a tu sonrisa y tus ojos que me tenían pasmado; y mi cabeza rápida y estúpidamente comenzó a imaginar un futuro lejano con nosotros reencontrándonos, amándonos, viviendo la vida que ahora vivo sin ti...y me reí entre llanto y alegría. nostalgia y melancolía.

Luego me reí de mi mismo, y me alegré de la idea de que sea feliz con otra vida, sin mí. Una vida donde estás rodeada de tu propia felicidad y en tu propio camino; me alegra pensar eso y deseo de todo corazón que te esté iendo bien, muy bien. Por favor, hazlo, dame la razón. Dame esa razón y dejame verte feliz el día de nuestro extraño reencuentro.

[ha-jokes0nyou-ha]

There’s this darkness to me.

I’ve always hated it yet I find myself embracing it at times. I’m not what I seem to others. But, I’m also not as bad as I think to myself.

[ibecryingsometimes]

Sometimes...

Life is so fricking hard sometimes... I don't know what's worse them coming back and being the same not caring person or them not coming back at all... I think I know which one is worse for me and unfortunately its not the first one... I really need to work on that. 

[kcreamz]

I trusted you. I trusted you with my entire being. And you made me regret it. I finally opened up and let my walls down and you made me remember why they were built up so high to begin with. I gave you a part of me that I can never get back. All the times that you said that you cared, was that just a lie? Was your mission just to hurt someone else because of your own insecurities? You are just a coward. You were selfish. You made promises you didn’t intend to keep. You were just playing with me like I was a puppet and you were the master. You knew you had control over me. But one thing you didn’t think of, is how much better off I will be without you.

[olympappclub]

👋 Friends! Please give 💓 an advice to the 😔 person in this ☔ situation. Repost this or click here and download app! Perhaps thanks to you there is a solution!

[bohemianbookworm-blog]

In love with this series right now. Trying to mend my broken heart after finishing A Court of Wings and Ruin ❤ #acourtofwingsandruin #perfectruin #laurendestephano #tryingtomoveon

[abnrmllyyours]

I let my feelings come in the way of our friendship and this is what we’ve come to.

You forgetting me and me still trying to forget you.

@i-am-hopelass

[lisabmagdalena]

YOU ARE BEING TRAINED! THE TRICK USED TO KEEP YOU A SLAVEGIRL.

Psychology labs throughout the world agree that the best way to train an animal is “intermittent rewarding”. This powerful strategy produces dependency in ways that other people look on and cannot understand. It keeps the animal insecure, constantly craving reward and desperate to please. It encourages loyalty even to its abuser. It is known to work exactly the same with humans.

Here’s how it works : “Sit!” (Gives Treat) Praises: “Good dogl!” Sit! (No Treat) . Praises: Good dog! “Sit!” (No Treat) Silence. Repeat. Mix up intermittently.

It’s designed to send the animal into confusion and a mental frenzy of what did I do wrong? How can I get the treat and the praise again?

See how it works. Now, look at your situation.

In toxic relationships, the Narcissist metes out the rules, rewards or boundaries inconsistently. This is on purpose. You’d think this would make you run but it actually does the opposite. It will fuel your desperation to get the reward once again, keeping you hopelessly locked into the relationship.

The Toxic knows what I’m talking about. They will deliver a ping of validation when they sense you’re about to pull away, just to keep you tied to the relationship usually at your expense. But the good will be fleeting. That’s intermittent rewarding.

In the beginning, you were love bombed and told you were beautiful, witty, enchanting, the “one”. Then, without warning, you can’t do anything right. You think, what happened? What did I do? Why am I not good enough?

No. It’s not you. You’re just caught in the toxic cycle of love bomb, devalue and discard.

To keep you from exiting, the Narcissist will then love bomb you again. You exhale with relief. It won’t last. Doesn’t matter though. After the investment you’ve made in the toxic relationship, you are already trained to ignore the bad stuff. You are programmed, hooked and brainwashed into believing this is love.

The only way to get free, is to adopt a strict no contact policy. The sooner the Narcissist becomes a memory, the better off you’ll be. Get yourself educated on what got you to this point. Self-reflect and become self-aware. Your key to survival is freeing yourself from old Slavegirl patterns and learning to become Queen of you.

COMMENT “QUEEN” below and I’ll send you a personal message to help you do that !!

And today you can get my FREE ‘Wake Up, Queen! Meditation to feel empowered and ready to rule your world.  

PS. I’m only giving out a certain amount as a free gift, so hurry this opportunity may not be available for much longer.  CLAIM YOURS TODAY here: www.lisamagdalena.com

[thisismephoebe-blog]

Listening to this again and again! #tryingtomoveon #betterbraver #1stdayofmovingon #1ststep

[woozed]

If you're reading this- I miss you ...

I know we’ve said our final goodbye but every time I start to come to the realization that this is it, my heart starts to beat faster, my eyes tear up and my head gets fuzzy. I have to lie to myself, saying it wasn’t the last time, to keep control of myself, to keep me from breaking apart.

[brokenheartbyjacob]

He always ask me why I stay up so late and sleep so much in the morning till noon, so I did asked my self??? Because I stopped drinking and sober off and on for years and I have depression and anxiety from him cheating on me for 15 years...It's only had been almost 5 years since I found out that he was cheating on me for 15 years, I caught him 😪😪 so I'm healing, and cleansing all the toxic crap that I have been doing, and he want me to act as if nothing happened. Moving on is not as easy for anybody! My heart is broken! And it took me 5 years to realize that I am broken and part of me died and I am mourning. Why can't he understand that!!!!???? #cheatinghusband #anxiety #depression #brokenhearted #tryingtomoveon #struggle #everyday #feelinglonely #feelingworthless #feelingnothing #feelingnobody #tryingtosurvive