#Today’s Top 10 Coins

[nonbinary-potatoes]

Prompt: Swirl 26/10/24 @rosekillermicrofic

Word count: 640

Evan fidgeted nervously, watching the man behind the bar mixing drinks - the way the muscles in his arm flexed, and he tossed the shaker from hand to hand, practically juggling the thing. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt which didn't leave much to the imagination and had streaks of neon green in his dark hair, but blonde roots peeked through slightly. The dim light caught every shining glint of metal of the peircings in his face.

Evan found him embarrassingly fit, but he lingered with his sister and her friends rather than making a move. His logic was that he couldn't be rejected if he never tried. The last thing he wanted was to fumble or, worse, find out the bartender wasn't even queer.

"I don't get it" Pandora muttered, walking back from the bar and handing Evan a vodka lemonade and taking a sip from some drink that was probably more syrup than alcohol "you won't even order your own drink, and he's not even that fit" she scolded playfully before settling down beside her girlfriend.

"You should go talk to him, the fates are in your favour" one of Pandora's best friends drawled out around a straw as he sipped on some floral drink, they were some weird hippy with waist length white-blonde hair and shared a wardrobe with her - their name was Xenophillius but everyone called them Xeno. They handed Evan a silver coin that said 'yes' on its face, flipping it over in his palm it said 'no' on the other side.

Evan downed his drink and burped, slamming the glass onto the table harder than was necessary and letting the alcohol give him courage. Though it might have been the lingering sense that Xeno would berate Evan for not taking a chance when the stars aligned in his favour.

Strutting towards the bar and waiting nervously for the man to finish serving the customer before him, Evan didn't pay them much mind too busy staring at the bartender. He stopped towards the bar and smiled the best he could.

"What can I do you for?" the man said cheerfully, leaning against the counter in a way that made his forearms look delicious. Evan couldn't help but imagine sinking his teeth into that smooth skin.

"I... uhhh... I, " Evan stuttered out, unable to find the right words to say. He scrubs a hand over his face, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks as he fumbled.

"How's about today's special?" the man grinned as he placed a small glass down on the bar and grabbed a bottle, filling the glass halfway with what Evan recognised as some sort of cream li "Chocolate and strawberry liqueur, layered with milk and topped with chocolate swirls." he slid the glass over to Evan. It was a pretty drink, layered like neopolitan ice cream. It was tasted similar to the neopolitan ice cream, too.

Evan shuffled for his wallet. "How much?" He mumbled. The bartender shook his head and smiled wider, showing off sharpened canines."It's on the house, pretty boy, " he teased before winking.

"I get off as soon as my coworker bleeding gets here. He's 10 minutes late already. Then me and you can go grab dinner or what?"

Evan did a full double take blinking heavily and jaw slack, slightly disappointed he didn't get to make the first move properly but elated that he'd managed to bag the hot bartender. "I'm..  I'm uhhh Evan, " he murmured awkwardly, offering a hand out to shake. The bartender took the hand and pulled Evan forewards, making him lose his centre of balance and tumble towards him. "Barty, but call me Bat," he muttered back, his lips close to Evan's as he grinned like the Cheshire cat. He pecked a kiss before leaning back to serve another customer, leaving Evan dazed and watching as he poured another drink.

(A/N: nonbinary Xenophillius is my fav, and so is them being absolute besties with Pandora. Also love the supportive sibling moment between them)

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: Touchdown Celebrations

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Summary: The gender reveal of your second pregnancy, and third baby, has to top the first reveal. You and Joe decide you want to incorporate the team again just like you did with the twins’ and even go on to decide to do it during a game… but still keep it secretive to the outside world.

Warnings: fluff, pregnancy

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Into The Mystic

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*18 weeks pregnant*

Another day at Paycor Stadium, except today wasn't just any day… today Joe and I would be finding out the gender of our third baby.

The twins’ gender reveal had been a hot topic on the internet after the story was told, and Joe and I both knew we'd have to step it up even more.

I can honestly say that I planned pretty much everything by myself last time, but this time around Joe had been bouncing ideas off of me constantly.

The team was going to be the stars of the show once again. It made sense because of how present they were in Joe and me’s lives, the boy's lives, and the pregnancy of the unborn baby still inside my womb.

I sat in the box with Robin on my right, Miles on her lap, and Tyson on my left.

Both of us were waiting patiently for the guys to run out and the outcome of the coin toss since it would be telling us how much longer we would have to wait for Joe and his offense to be on the field.

We would be on offense when the reveal of our baby's gender would happen.

This was how it was going to go down.

On our offense’s opening drive, Joe would ideally try to get the ball to one of his guys, ending in a touchdown.

The entire offense would go to the end zone, minus Joe of course, and either flex their arms for a boy or do a ballerina spin for a girl.

At first, Joe loved the idea but hated the flexing vs spinning because he found it subjective and kinda sexist.

He couldn't come up with any alternatives so Joe reluctantly agreed to the original idea.

Before the game, Coach Taylor kicked Joe out of the locker room and told the offense the gender of the baby.

Now that the guys knew what they were doing, all we needed was a touchdown.

Both Robin and I had spent the last 10 minutes trying to explain everything to Tyson and Miles in the best possible way you can to two two-year-olds.

Even though they still couldn't understand, their attention was immediately lost when “Dada” ran out onto the field.

I will never get tired of seeing them getting so excited watching their father do what he loves.

Miles had squirmed off of his grandma’s lap and was standing at the railing by his twin as they jumped up and down, cheering for their favorite person.

The moment was so blissful and sweet that I almost couldn't hear Robin talking to me.

“So, have you gotten sick yet? I know you had really bad morning sickness with the twins so I wanted to see if there was a difference.” - Robin

My hand dropped to the small bump that was just now starting to show through my shirt.

“No sickness which is insane. Joe thinks it's a girl because of that.” - you smiled

“I think it is too.” - Robin grinned

I stood up and walked down to the railing to coral the boys back to their seats, thankfully they chose not to fight back.

——

When Joe and his guys took the field, both Robin and I were high on excitement. She took one of my hands and squeezed it tight.

I could tell that Joe was trying to get down to the end zone quicker than normal.

Because of that, it wasn't long till they were within the 25-yard line.

Robin and I were practically bubbling with a mix of nerves and pure ecstasy.

Jimmy stood up at the top of the box talking to a few other people while still paying attention to the field in hopes of finding out what his next grandbaby would be.

The offense didn't keep us waiting too long for a touchdown. My heart was beating so fast as Tee caught the pass and waved the rest of the guys into the end zone.

Joe stood a few feet away, his heart beating just as fast, and he looked up at you and his boys waiting patiently for the results.

He so wished he was with you, but he knew he'd try to get you down to him during halftime to celebrate.

The O-line, receivers, and the rest of the guys started doing a ballerina spin.

“It’s a girl!” - Robin yelled and hugged you

My eyes welled up with tears as I watched Joe jump up in down out of pure excitement. He was finally going to be the girl dad he's always wanted to be.

“Joe looks so happy.” - Jimmy

“He wanted a girl so bad.” - you cried

“Congratulations sweetie, I'm so happy for you guys.” - Robin

Jimmy handed me a tissue knowing I would be mad AF if my makeup ran.

Tyson and Miles both stared at me confused, before looking at each other to confirm they were seeing the same thing.

“Mama?” - Miles

“You wokay?” - Tyson

“I’m perfect, guys. I'm really happy actually because Mommy has a baby girl in her belly. That's why Daddy’s friends did that little dance after Uncle Tee got the touchdown.” - you

“Baby Girl?” - Tyson

“Yup. You guys are going to have a baby sister in a few months.” - you

Miles and Tyson smiled widely and moved forward to my bump. They laid their little heads on it to be closer to their sister.

“Is it Daddy’s bwaby… too?” - Miles

Robin and I busted out laughing before I composed myself enough to answer him.

“Yes, it's your daddy’s baby too.” - you

My eyes shifted down to the sidelines where Joe was still celebrating with a wide smile on his face. Everyone was hugging him and patting him on the back.

I didn't think my heart could warm any more than it already had, but when I realized Joe was crying and continuously wiping his eyes I thought my heart was going to explode.

“Dada’s cryin’!” - Tyson

“It’s because he's happy, baby.” - you

Ty scooted closer to me and laid his head on my shoulder.

“Are you happy for a baby sister?” - you

“Mhm. We can match!” - Tyson

“You wanna match with sissy? Like you do with Miles?” - you

“Yes!” - Tyson

——

As soon as it hit halftime, a security guard escorted me and the boys down to the locker room after Joe texted me saying Zac gave him the okay to talk to me for a second.

Both of my hands were occupied with holding a twin’s hand in mine as we walked down the hallway.

We rounded the corner and my pase quickened when I saw that familiar tall frame leaning up against the wall.

Once we were within a foot of him I let go of the twin’s hands and ran up to Joe, who had his arms wide open for me.

“Baby, I can't believe we're having a girl.” - Joe wrapped his arms around you

“Me either. I'm so excited.” - you

“I am too. I get to be a girl dad.” - Joe

“Yes, you do, baby. I can't wait to pick out a name for her and start brainstorming nursery ideas with you.” - you

“I’m going to spoil the living daylights out of her… and you too, mama.” - Joe

I laughed as I pulled away, thinking of a response in the meantime.

“I’m sure you will, babe.” - you laughed

Tyson and Miles walked out from behind me and Joe squatted down to hug his boys, though Tyson complained that Joe’s shoulder pads made the hug “uncwumfy”.

Once they were done hugging their dad, Joe stood back up and placed a kiss on my cheek. He placed a big hand on the center of my small bump and grinned at me.

“I don't want to keep you from the team too long, I'll see you later.” - you

“One, my family is way more important than football, and two you better be seeing me later because I'm your ride home.” - Joe

“You're a dork, Joe. I love you though.” - you

Joe leaned down to kiss me, faint sounds of the team inside the locker room getting hyped, and the twins gagging watching their parents kiss could be heard, but the only thing that I could pay attention to was my husband's soft lips.

“I love you too.” - Joe pecked your forehead when he pulled away

I watched him turn in the direction of the door and I took this as an opportunity to smack him on the butt since the twins were occupied looking at the artwork on the walls.

“Go win this game, Tiger.” - you winked

Joe chuckled loudly and rolled his eyes before stepping into the locker room. My smile never left my face as I watched him walk over to Zac, who is a proud girl dad himself, patted him on the back.

——

Walking back to the box with my boys had my heart flourishing like never before. They continuously asked questions about their baby sister and for once it felt like nothing could ruin my mood, not even the fact I was going to have smile lines by 40.

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Authors note: Guys I lost my streak… so this is technically the 6th day of Christmas. Day 5 coming out later today maybe. 😊😉

Request for this fic; loosely based off of…

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️

[brandycranby]

ce characters + their skill at wrapping presents (based on technique, style, and enthusiasm) 🎁✨

crocheting a last minute gift rn hehe

steve: 9.5/10. the military precision comes in clutch when it's time to measure out wrapping paper. if he's not doing the wrapping himself, he's at your elbow with tape strips and scissors when you need them. gift bags? hell no, back in his day, presents were wrapped (ok old man 🙄💕) heh expect steve to come home with half a dozen new tubes of gift wrap because he just can't resist the cuteness (target snoopy paper, beloved 🥺💕)

andy: 7/10. if he did it himself that is 😌 this is a man of experience and few close relatives. the holidays are a quiet uneventful time for him (besides the odd party) and he spends it with you, showering you in gifts and treats for the new year. most of those treats come with complimentary gift wrapping that he'll most definitely take advantage of hehe if not, he's a sparkly gift bag kinda guy

ari: 8/10. he doesn't have much skill at getting those sharp corners on a wrapped box but can he curl a ribbon or what? great color sense, he doesn't look like it but he can tell a french silver from classic silver 😌💕 whatta man whatta man. eight presents though, that's a lot of gift ideas to come up with. defaults to cash and gift cards for some nights, slaps a ribbon on top and adds mesh bag of chocolate coins and calls it a night

johnny: 6/10. look, he's a guy. still, he's a guy with a big sister. sue comes over and they make a night in of it. wrapping paper is everywhere, someone gets hit with a tube, nothing's lit on fire but reed's gift is singed and labeled "to: asshole". it's probably just fruit of the loom boxers. your gift though? he keeps adding stocking stuffers until sue makes him use a wicker basket to hold everything bc "it's chic, johnny, and a paper bag can't hold all of that."

ransom: 5/10 +3 effort points. ONCE HE TRIES?? HE TRIES!!! i mean not for his parents' gifts, he probably amazon shipped those to their house. but he'll pull out the ribbons, the glitter, the tinsel, the special wrapping paper just for you 🥹💕 ransom doesn't really Get It, not until you have a day of present prep with him. cups of hot drinks and a movie on in the back, that sort of warm nostalgia that's so familiar yet distant from what he's known 🥺surprisingly good eye for it

jake: 4/10. oh lord he tries. he tries so damn hard. the living room is a wreck, there's tape everywhere and mismatched wrapping paper. he measures a length of paper too small and worries about cutting another one because you like that paper!! you'd probably cry if he wasted it!! so he takes a discard piece and kinda... band-aids it together... oh baby 😔 also how do you wrap plushies??? (put it in a box, jake, please put it in a box)

curtis: 7/10. solid score because he goes for maximum efficiency and doesn't take a break until every single present is completely hidden in gift wrap, tissue paper, ribbons, bows, and a gift tag. would be a 10 if he was a little more fancy and a little less practical about his present style. but he has the assembly line efficiency and it helps you get everything done in one day so kudos 😊 points off for getting suspicious when you take a long pee break tho

---

since i've started writing this hc list, i've redone my amigurumi THREE TIMES. why do i do this to myself. i also wrapped last minute gifts like a jake today heh

[freakartack]

What is your least favourite misconception or fan interpretation of the WarioWare cast?

And/or do you have a favourite headcanon the community has made for the cast?

Oooohhhh we are really going for the hot hot takes today huh. Just handing me the baseball bat like that

Well I suppose it had to come to this. I've been dancing around this for far too long. It's time for

TOP 10 FREAKATTACK HARDASS MOMENTS

NOTE: please do not open this if me shitting on popular headcanons will ruin your day. I don't generally care what people do with their life do what you want forever

OK with that out of the way it's time to get narsty. Many of these will be ship-related so if that will make you mad or bored just a heads up

1. MONA AND WARIO ARE IN LOVE

OK i lied you can't do this one forever. ENOUGH!! She is in HIGH SCHOOL and if you think she has to secretly be an adult just because she has a job and drives a scooter then not only have you never been to high school but you also have not been paying attention during any of Kat and Ana's cutscenes. "High schoolers don't usually drive that much" 5-year-olds don't usually trek the mountains high and kill people with swords but they do. I get when people get frustrated that almost all the girl characters in warioware are marketable kids, because that does kind of suck, but you can't just ignore that to get shippy about it. Cmon. "Wario was dreaming about her in that 1 microgame break" yeah, and I thought that was weird. I choose to read it as a non-romantic moment (since, again, he's old enough to be her dad), and the fact is that nothing like that has happened since. Yeah mona might think he's a hunka hunka but she has every right to! Doesn't mean they have to get married

2. MIKE AND ORBULON ARE IN LOVE

This one will stir far more pots/torches/pitchforks/etc. but since we're bringing out the fine china i might as well go all out. Here's my reasoning: Orbulon is 2000 years old. Mike is like 2. I'm not saying this one is Problematic (mike is a robot that can file taxes after all) but moreso that it is unrealistic. Picture this: You are orbulon, with all of your weird hangups and whatnot. Your buddy that fixes your car all the time and plays Go with you just had a robot son. Would you fall in love with him? Probably not. On the other end of the coin, you're the robot son now. Your inventor/employer/cyborg dad keeps inviting this weird animal into your house to study it. I don't think he would fall in love with that either. "I would," you say, "i'm built different." And more power to you. I just don't think they are.

3. LUIGI AND DAISY ARE MONA'S PARENTS

FINALLY, a non-shippy one! Anyways, since Get it Together came out, a lot of people took one blurry picture on the wall and the shape of mona's house to mean that Mona's House is actually Luigi's Mansion and that Luigi and Daisy had a child together 16 years ago and promptly abandoned it to play tennis. I think it is obvious by now that I don't think that's true. Not only has Mona described her parents extensively (one of them is an artist that is obsessed with noses, the other is a supermodel that travels the world), but neither of them are anything like Luigi and Daisy. "But what if Luigi is secretly obsessed with noses and Daisy is secretly a supermodel," you say. Okay. Then I think that Luigi cheated on Daisy with Peach, and had Rosalina together, because Peach and Rosalina both have blond hair and Luigi had a telescope once. Don't play games with me, Matthew. I know what you are.

4. PYORO IS INNOCENT

He's not

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OK now that all of that is out of the way, let's move on to the fun stuff. Top ten favorite things that people have said about warioware!!!

1. PENNY IS DR. CRYGOR'S CLONE

I first saw this thought expressed here, but I've seen many people continue the sentiment and I think it's beautiful. Penny Crygor is the good doctor's transgender lesbian clone whom we all love dearly.

2. ORBULON KNOWS WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH POLYBIUS BUT WON'T TELL ANYONE

Self-explanatory. Unfortunately the genius who thought of this one has since deactivated and the post is forever under an inaccessible read-more so this is the only evidence i have that it ever existed. You have to trust me on this one.

3. WARIO IS LIKE THEIR DAD

This isn't really a headcanon moreso a popular interpretation of the text but I do like to think that despite being a jackass he does genuinely care about all the weirdos he has racked up, including the many wayward children that have glommed onto him over the years. This is like every toxic "we're all a family here!" workplace, except that they actually are all a family here and it's toxic for unrelated reasons

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

New World (10)

Itachi Uchiha x Reader Fluff

Summary: The world War has met its end and Itachi has returned to his village. He questions whether he should set down his roots here when he meets a stranger. Or rather, a stranger is forced upon him by fate.

Warnings: embarrassment

Word Count: I deleted Hinge. Turns out I am too lazy to talk to boys and set up a date to hang out with them. Guess I'll be single for a good time. Also I have some unknown allergy that won't stop making me cough. Fanfic Gods! If you can see this, make this go away! We need to complete so many works!

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

"Are you still mad about failing to complete your mission?" The children play in the temple grounds, cackling under the morning sun with clear skies and a day that feels lighter than usual. It feels so mostly because their parents are not after them, hissing them back inside their homes. Instead, the men are out gathered by the local tavern, drinking their homemade wine, while the women are collected under the community tree playing cards while smoking pipes. The bamboo village feels like a welcoming place today. Fukaboshi sits on the top of the stairs which is the entrance to the sacred ground. He is looking at Toge, who sits next to him, lost in some thought while he continuously flips a coin in between his fingers. Fukaboshi is patient, looking at his student with nothing but adoration. Toge finally tsks, throwing his coin down the edge of the hillside. "It's not your fault, Toge." Toge closes his eyes with an internal wince. "Tell that to my conscience," he grumbles before getting up and walking down the hill towards the village. Fukaboshi sighs, lowering his head, knowing his internal dialogue is no different than his student's. A crow sits atop a nearby tree, watching the events unfold before taking flight towards the next hill, gliding down the roof of one of the cottages where the Konoha citizens stayed the night. With one smooth transformation, the little creature morphs into a human, entering the room through a window.

The room, unlike last night, is empty. The bed, where Itachi had left you last night, has been made, the duvet neatly folded and placed at the end of the bed, the pillow fluffed up and the sheet crinkle-free. Itachi stands there for a long minute, revisiting the chapters he memorised last night, all of them comprising of every tiny feature of your face. But as much as he flutters through the pages in his mind, the images do not seem enough.  He walks out of the room and through the hall towards the other rooms; only to be met by Nami and Naruto midway. Both are carrying their bags, ready to set out. While Nami is nibbling on a tiny piece of sugarcane, Naruto has his face stuffed. “Where’s Y/N?” Naruto tries talking through his full mouth but Nami shuts him up with a smack of her hand to his stomach. “She’s already left. With Kakashi.” No hint of emotion passes through her features. But her brows morph into confusion when she witnesses Itachi go blank. No emotions surface behind those dark eyes. Just a neutral blink before his head finally gives in and does a 45-degree tilt, akin to a puppy wondering about this new situation. “I didn’t see them-“ Nami takes in a lungful. “Kakashi took her out of the village under the radar. She…did not want any more attention. They will reach the inn in about two hours. We are travelling with you so you better keep us safe, Uchicha-san. That’s a threat.” Nami nods and signals Naruto to walk out with her. Itachi does not follow them. Instead, he stands looking into infinity with brows that are too uncomfortable to be furrowed for such a long time. Why did she travel back with Kakashi, Itachi’s brain is already calculating multiple scenarios to justify such an act where his chest does not squeeze with such pain. Why am I not travelling back with her? A crow caws somewhere outside to fill in the silence of this cosy guest house that is suddenly empty.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A day passes. Then two. Then three. Everyone has returned home. Itachi has joined Kakashi at the Hokage’s office to submit the mission report and enlighten her about their sensitive information being leaked by opponent villages. She is not here, he finds his internal voice declaring the fact out loud to this existence. “Itachi, of course, was quick to respond to any threats,” Kakashi’s voice breaks his subconscious monologue of reasoning your absence; never wondering why Nami and Naruto were not there. Tsunade hums. “We need to do something about the rock village before they get on my nerves," the Hokage fumes slowly behind her desk. "The Anbu are already on it." "And who else do you think knows about our-" Tsunade inhales, rolls her eyes a little and waves her red nails generically in the air- "empath, for the lack of a better word." "The information was sold to five villages-" Itachi does not wait for a pause- "Mist, Sand, Bamboo, Wood and Seashell." "Seashell doesn't sound-" Tsunade pauses her quip with Kakashi's little wave of hand. "They feed their enemies to eight-foot giant crabs." She does not say it but her face tells she sounds impressed. "I thought Sand Village was a friend." "They are," Itachi adds, "Gara was the one who forewarned us about the leak." The colours of realisation bring a positive glow to the Hokage's face. "That's why you two knew what was going on this entire time. I like that kid." She taps her nails on the table in a rhythmic tone. "Are the other villages a threat?" "We have prepared infiltration teams to visit these villages and bring us any intel we can get that might pose a threat." Kakashi leans on the window sill with his arms crossed over his chest. "Tell them to execute the infiltration at the earliest." Kakashi looks up at the Hokage, blinking for a second. "Oh, they are already out. In about three hours, they'll be entering the respective villages." Tsunade narrows her eyes at the former Anbu. "I knew I would get your permission for the mission," Kakashi shrugs. Itachi clears his throat to bring attention to him before Tsunade can eat Kakashi's ears out. "If that's all..." Without another word, Itachi opens the window and disappears into thin air. "What is wrong with him?" the Hokage points at the open window with a mix of offence and worry. Kakashi throws his head back in defeat, his palms trying to soothe the pain caused by the burden of carrying the team on his shoulders for the last few days. "Ugh. Let's discuss this after I've had a nap. And we will need at least three bottles of sake." Tsunade guffaws, slapping the table with excitement. "Meet me at Ichigo's restaurant at eight," she declares before swivelling her chair towards the window. Within a second, her excitement morphs into a sour affair. "And don't you two dare use my window as a gateway after this! You delinquent little shits!"

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Itachi's crows scour the Konoha skies looking into every street, under every tree, all koi ponds, and riverside. It is one of the crows soaring over the local marketplace that signals the former Akatsuki member before disappearing. And Itachi does not waste time, walking faster than usual in that direction. His body automatically halts when he sees you in the crowd. You are sitting on the stairs of the open shops where different types of nuts delivered from outside the village are being sold. Your arms are wrapped around a black cat with the most beautiful fur. Children are gathered around you in awe of the little furry creature; their curious minds asking you all sorts of questions. Itachi's permanence comes to a standstill. All his senses seem to revolve around you. His eyes can see the  y/e/c glow of your iris, his nose can smell the coconut oil rubbed on your skin. His ears can hear the croak in your voice that still heals from the adventure. He wants to stay still and bask in your presence but this uneasy feeling in his heart wants him to step towards you. Like the pull of a string, your head instinctively rises in the direction Itachi stands. You watch him inhale the guilt of being found out- of brazenly watching you from a distance. And just as he sees you...he can see you. A flash passes inside his mind for barely a second. Your shoulders are bare, your face marred with dirt, your hair a mess. Your eyes are red with tears. And just as it comes, the fash vanishes. And with it, you vanish too. The black cat with the beautiful fur is left on the steps for the children as you are nowhere to be seen.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

More days pass when you ‘miss’ each other; on the streets, at the Hokage’s office, in the village mart, and once right outside the Uchiha home. Itachi knows something is out of the ordinary. But not only with you.  He has not been feeling his usual self. His heightened senses seem to go into overdrive and shut down quicker than they should. His fast brain dissociates every ten minutes. His body is restless, unable to find peace at night, forget about getting an ounce of sleep. He sulks on the village rooftops unable to make sense of the hyperactivity that is frying his brain before he finds himself in the gym behind the administrative building with limited access. Like any other night, he walks into the gym from the backdoor at two in the dead of the night, finding two other men walking out of the locker room to begin their workout. “Who is that?” He hears one of them whisper, instinctively rolling his eyes internally and turning around to let the fresh Anbu meat have a good look at the infamous Itachi Uchiha. Much to his surprise, they are not looking at him. Instead, their attention is taken by another presence in the gym. Itachi changes into his workout clothes- a black t-shirt with grey joggers- and walks out of the locker room. From how the two men have their eyes away from their equipment, he can calculate it is someone new and quite possibly a woman. Turning the corner, his eyes involuntarily fall on the figure before returning to the treadmill- his original destination. It takes him a fraction of a second to register the figure doing crunches, using the rods holding the dumbbells as a pivot for her feet.

It’s the woman. Itachi has a clear view of you from his treadmill- with your back to him. You, on the other hand, are unaware of him. Your face is flushed, and sweat runs down your neck and back. All the rebellious strands of your hair mark the sides of your face and neck. The sweat stains on your oversized t-shirt and gym shorts show how long you have been working out. You finally stop and take a breather. He increases the speed of his treadmill. Itachi can see the Anbu boys tapping each other to bring their attention in your direction. You use the hem of your shirt to wipe the sweat from your face, exposing your abdomen. Itachi feels guilty for letting his eyes linger for a second longer at the lines of abs forming on your front. Yet a part of him fumes when he can hear the boys snicker at an inside joke before walking in your direction. The blonde one takes the lead. "Konnichiwa! My friend and I were wondering if you would like to work out with us." You bow a little, sending a little twist inside Itachi's gut. "Thank you for the offer. I am good." But the boys are quick to pester you again. "We think you are really beautiful and we would like to take you out for a meal after the workout." You ignore them and walk towards the bench. Even when you try to ignore it, you can hear them giggle and snicker behind your back. Tune them out, your inner voice tells you. Tune them out, tune them out tune them o- Your focus has been completely devoured by the boys who have turned a blind eye to respecting your personal space; and in doing so, you have picked up a ten-kilo dumbbell for your workout. Lying down on your back, you stretch your arms over your head to pick the dumbbell to start your set.

"How about we help-" Fuck! I should have brought my earphones!!! You have put all the focus inside your arms to raise that damn weight and take it over your head- and while doing so, you realise you can no longer hear the snickers of the boys. Your arms do pick the weight, but your brain gives the warning signal a bit late that the weight is beyond your muscles' threshold. A small cry for help comes out of your lungs but never makes it to the finale. you are half scared that the dumbbell might fall on the ground with a resounding boom. But that never happens. Instead, you feel the heaviness being taken away from your palms by a shadow behind your head. You raise your head back to find the dumbbell resting in the veiny hands of the man you have been avoiding this whole time. Itachi Uchiha. He is holding that dumbbell as if it weighs nothing. His shirt is covered in sweat and the strands of his hair not in the ponytail are out having the gall to stick to his exposed neck. His eyes are stuck on you, watching you with confusion and...was that concern? Don't be fooled. It might be murderous brooding too. We don't have enough experience to really tell, do we? you inner voice was thundering all over the metaphoric walls. Your heart rate is going up, more than it already has from the exercises. You take the support of your arm to get up, quickly reverting your gaze. But the screaming pain inside your arm brings out a wince from you instead. "Don't move," he commands in the Uchiha voice you have grown familiar with, "you have sprained your muscle." You do not dare to look him in the eye. "I'll spray some-" The former assassin, it seems, never waits for your words. Before you have finished your sentence, the gym's first aid box is seen being put down next to you on the bench. You can feel your lungs take a justified pause as Itachi gets down on his knee in front of you, making himself busy with the contents of the box. "I'll do it-" you give out a little squeak but the man ignores it, shaking the spray bottle in his hand. Without hesitating, he opens his free hand. "Arm." You, on the other hand, want to shrink and disappear into the bench, never to be seen again. "Y/N," he calls you out from whatever hell you are making in your mind for yourself. It bothers you even more that his voice is as sweet as it has been whenever you have interacted with him before. "Give me your arm." You do not want to move. Instead, you have started singing Naruto's favourite ramen song inside your head. Sparks fly inside your body when you feel the touch of Itachi's fingers trying to find their way under yours. And they do- having invaded the space between your fingers and the coarse leather of the bench. His usually pale fingers are red- mostly from the workout- and they are cautiously making their way to your wrist, rotating it to expose the other side upwards.

"Does it hurt?" Your gaze is fixated on his arms. The veins are popping under that pale, mole-kissed skin. There is a certain edge of satisfaction trailing the veins from his wrist up the bicep. People should be paying to see this, your inner voice sighs, never once averting her gaze from the sculpted beauty. You have reached the hem of Itachi's sleeves when you realise he has asked you a question. "Hm?" "I guess not." Itachi's face is flushed. How hard has he been working out? For a second, you think you see a smirk build upon his lips. But the moment you blink, it is gone; making you ponder if you were seeing things. Itachi's fingers go further up, resting right in the middle of your lower arm. His thumb puts a little pressure on the muscle underneath. There is a slight hint of pain. He can tell the way your brows furrow quickly and let go of the stress when he lifts his thumb from your skin. Itachi wonders how your skin has the right amount of suppleness and smoothness. And then he wonders why he is wondering about your skin. His fingers move further up. One hand lets your upper arm rest in itself. The other hand takes the liberty to feel the muscle. And that is when you let out a pain-ridden shriek before clasping your mouth. "It hurts," your broken voice reassures him. Itachi grounds your upper arm within his hold. You can feel his hand's intention of not letting go. "Face the other way," he instructs. You have heard him but the words have not yet registered in your head. And Itachi can tell from the blank look your eyes give him. Your eyes. The former assassin cannot get used to these eyes that look at him with zero micron of hesitation; no ounce of fear or mistrust. Zero thoughts behind those pupils and the intention to follow whatever he will say. A part of him wonders if your eyes do this for anyone else. And then that part makes his chest squeeze with mild annoyance. He raises his free hand and lets his fingers rest on your jaw, pushing your face in the direction away from your arm. The gesture surprises you, making your stomach do a summersault internally. You can hear the clicking of the shaking pain relief bottle before feeling the cooling spray over your skin. The affected part is then meticulously covered with a crepe bandage. "Do not use this arm for at least forty-eight hours if you cannot get an appointment with Sakura before that," Itachi clears, checking the bandage one last time.

"Thanks," you admit, about to get up. "It's natural," Itachi declares softly, not moving. Confused, you look down at your arm to wonder what is natural about it. "To have...thoughts that seem dark. And...filled with lust." Itachi finally looks at you and you can feel a cold wave pass down your spine, reverberating through every cell in its way. "It's simple biology," he continues, averting his gaze. "The only difference was that someone in your vicinity had the potential to see your thoughts. There is nothing to be embarrassed about." Oh, are you sure?!! Your inner voice shouts before pointing out at your racing heartbeat and flushed skin. Your breaths are starting to feel shallow. Itachi can sense the uneasiness. You get up with a jolt. "I should go." Even the whispered words of you come out shaking. "You can look inside my mind," Itachi announces before you can step away from him, "to even out the..." He does not finish the sentence. Look inside the mind of Itachi Uchiha. How many people have lost their lives to get the answer to this question? And here he was, offering it to you on a silver platter. "I should-" you bump into the bench behind you with the step you take back, scaring yourself for a second- "go." You dash out the door, leaving the man still on his knees. He sits there, experiencing you leaving the same redolence that he smelled off you in that cottage in the bamboo village. A smile builds up on his lips and no matter what he does, he cannot seem to make it stop.

[wosowrites]

Tattoo Tour (Ona Batlle x Reader )

Warnings: none! pure fluff

A/N: I had to invent some meanings to Ona’s tattoos bcs obviously i don’t know what they all actually mean. UPDATE: this fic rly flopped oops

Prompt: reader and ona play for man united and are doing a tattoo tour video for manchester uniteds youtube chanel.

"You guys ready?" The media manager asks, looking between you and Ona. "Yeah, let’s do it!" Ona answered, her spanish accent making your heart melt for her. You two had been together for over a year and a half now, but every day, your love for her grew even more.

"Okay, 3,2,1, rolling!" The woman behind the camera said. "Hey red devils! I’m y/n y/l/n…" you start saying, "and I am Ona Batlle…" Ona finished, "and today we are doing a tattoo tour. We both have a lot of tattoos. I think i have 9 and Ona has… 8?" you say, turning to Ona. "Sí, eight." "Right, so we’ll be showing them off to you guys, and explaining what they mean. So… let’s do it!" you finished the introduction and the camera woman cut the video taping. "Which tattoos do we show first?" Ona asks, turning to you. "Uhmm… I think i’ll start with my arms. I have three on my left and two on my right." You told her. "Okay, i’ll do my back first." Ona said. "But we should show our matching tattoo at the same time." She then added. "Yeah, of course."

Ona started unzipping her training jacket, leaving her in her sports bra. Ona had always been very comfortable with her body, often posting more revealing pictures on instagram, you were always the one behind the camera. So, you follow suite, unzipping your training top, revealing a red, manchester united muscle tank so that you could easily show your arms. "Giving the fans a show, eh?" Ona whispered lovingly into your ear. "Aren’t you to one with your abs out?" You answered, looking down at the shorter girl. "Yeah, but you have guns." Ona said, poking your bicep.

Little did they know, the camera had started rolling already. "Guys, we’re rolling." The camera woman said, laughter in her voice. "Oops… sorry." Ona said, blushing. "Okay! Ona is going to start, she’s going to show us the three tattoos on her back, while i’ll show you the ones on my arm. Then we’ll move on. Good?" You said, turning to your girlfriend at the last part. "Muy bien." She answered. "You start." You told her.

Ona turned around and started talking about her tattoos. "I got the lion when I was 22, a few months after I met y/n actually. I think it’s kind of a reminder to stay fearless, while still being kind and caring. Lions are known to be protective animals and y/n always calls me protective even though she’s 10 times more protective than I am." Ona says, laughing as you roll your eyes. "When your girlfriend is teeny and gets thrown all over the place on the pitch, you get pretty protective." You simply answer. "Ha, ha." Ona says.

A camera man comes up to the duo to get a close up of the artistic lion on Ona’s back. "Then I have this sentence right here." Ona said as you traced your finger under the sentence. "It’s in spanish but it translates to 'love should be a two sided coin' and it’s something my abuela always used to tell me. She’s never cared that I like girls, as long as the one I love loves me just as much." Ona explained.

Once again, the camera zoomed in on the sentence. "Okay it’s a short video so show yours y/n/n!" Ona said, giving you her full attention.

Despite your strong build, you were known in the world of women’s football as a pretty shy person, so every time Ona’s eyes met yours, your blush would give you away. It was something you and your best friend, Jessie Fleming, shared. "Okay. Sure." You said, turning to the main camera. "First things first. Almost all my tattoos have stories behind them, so bare with me. Speaking of, my first tattoo is a bears head." You say, turning your left bicep towards the camera and pointing to the tattoo that was about the size of your fist. "This was actually my first tattoo, which is kind of weird because usually people opt for a smaller one as their first. But I kind of just went straight for it. My teammates at UCLA used to call me bear, which is weird when you don’t know the backstory. Bears are used in two common expressions. Soft like a teddy bear, and strong like a bear. And they always used to say that those sentences both described me." You say, a camera coming and filming the tattoo up close.

You don’t notice Ona smiling at you, her eyes almost twinkling. "Then on my forearm-" you say, turning your arm to show words. "-I have the words rationed trust. That’s kind of simple honestly, never trust just one person. Then, on the back of my hand I have butterflies. Butterflies are my favorite animal. I’ve had butterflies land on me during football games like… three times. They’re just really special to me." You say, smiling at the two butterflies. "I’m gonna hurry this up a bit to get back to Oni but on my other arm I have two tattoos. One of which i’ll let Ona explain. but on the back of my arm I have a bike. Which is matching with Jessie Fleming, who’s one of my best friends in the entire world. We got them after our first year of university because we would bike everywhere, all the time and it became one of our favorite activities." You finished explaining, smiling at the camera.

You looked at Ona, staring at her as though she was the most mesmerizing person in the universe. Which, to you, she was. "A lot of people have caught on to this but we’ve never actually confirmed it. We both have a tattoo in the crook of our arm that says lover. We’re pretty big Taylor Swift fans and well, yeah." Ona says. "Plus this one here is really corny. She always says how people would tell her not to get matching tattoos with partners because what if you break up. And she always says 'the pain of getting the tattoo removed would be nothing compared to the pain of loosing Ona. So I don’t care.' " Ona quotes you. "Hey! Now everyone’s gonna think you have me wrapped around your pinky." You pout at her. "Oh but I do." Ona joked, all thought she wasn’t really joking.

Ona then explained a couple more of her tattoos, and you pointed out the whale on your rib cage, the human heart on your upper left back, the olympic rings on your hip bone, and the daisy, rose, and orchid bouquet behind your ear.

Finally, the video wrapped up, and you and Ona were free to go home.

THE WEEK AFTER:

"Oh my god guys you need to see this." Alessia Russo said, rushing towards you and Ona. Ella was right beside her, smirking. Alessia was on tik tok and pressed play on a video. It seemed to be a fan page for you and ona. the username was onaxy/n and in the caption it said 'I will never ever get over how y/n looks at Ona.'

The song playing was MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT by Elley Duhé, and at the beat drop, clips from the tattoo tour video were played, edited in sync with the audio. Clips of you looking at Ona with so much love in your eyes, the clip of you tracing Ona’s tattoo with your index, clips of you smiling down at her like she was the only person in the world.

"People are obsessed with you two." Ella said as the edit ended. "Is that how you look at me?" Ona said, smiling at you. "I don’t know! I didn’t notice I was doing that." You answered, your cheeks burning. "It is. All the time." Lessi answered, smiling cheekily. "Ha! You looove meeee!" Ona said, teasing her girlfriend. "Don’t get cocky Ona, you look at her like that too." Ella said, giggling and rushing off with Alesia. "You were saying?" You said, smirking at your girlfriend. "Te amo, bebé," Ona said, kissing you sweetly.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

August 6, 2024

Heather Cox Richardson

Aug 07, 2024

Today Vice President Kamala Harris named her choice for her vice presidential running mate: Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota. Walz grew up in rural Nebraska. He enlisted in the Army National Guard when he was 17 and served for 24 years, retiring in 2005 as a command sergeant major, making him the highest-ranking enlisted soldier ever to serve in Congress, according to the House Committee on Veterans’ Affairs.  

He went to college with the educational benefits afforded him by the Army, and graduated from Chadron (Nebraska) State College. From 1989 to 1990, he taught at a high school in China, then became a social studies teacher in Alliance, Nebraska, where he met fellow teacher Gwen Whipple, who became his wife. They moved to Minnesota, where they both continued teaching and had two children, Hope and Gus, through IVF. 

Walz became the faculty advisor for the school’s gay-straight alliance organization at the same time that he coached the high-school football team from a 0–27 record to a state championship. The advisor “really needed to be the football coach, who was the soldier and was straight and was married," Walz said in 2018. 

Walz ran for Congress in 2005 after some of his students were asked to leave a rally for George W. Bush because one of them had a sticker for Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry. Walz won and served in Congress for twelve years, sitting on the House Agriculture Committee, the Transportation and Infrastructure Committee, and the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs.

Voters elected Walz to the Minnesota state house in 2018, and in his second term they gave him a slim majority in the state legislature. With that support, Walz signed into law protections for abortion rights, supported gender-affirming care, and legalized the recreational use of marijuana. He signed into law gun safety legislation and protections for voting rights, and pushed for action to combat climate change and to promote renewable energy. 

Strong tax revenues and spending cuts gave the state a $17.6 billion surplus, and the Democrats under Walz used the money not to cut taxes, as Republicans wanted, but to invest in education, fund free breakfast and lunch for schoolchildren, make tuition free at the state’s public colleges for students whose families earned less than $80,000 a year, and invest in paid family and medical leave and health insurance coverage regardless of immigration status. 

While MAGA Republicans are already trying to define Walz as “far left,” his votes in Congress put him pretty squarely in the middle.  His work with Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan to expand technology production and infrastructure funding in the state was rewarded in 2023, when Minnesota knocked Texas out of the top five states for business. The CNBC rating looked at 86 indicators in 10 categories, including the workforce, infrastructure, health, and business friendliness. 

Walz checks a number of boxes for the 2024 election, most notably that he hails from near the battleground states of Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania and comes across as a normal, nice guy. He favors unions, workers’ rights, and a $15 minimum wage. He is also the person who coined the phrase that took away the dangerous overtones of today’s MAGA Republicans by dubbing them “weird.” As a student of his said: “In politics he’s good at calling out B.S. without getting nasty or too down in the dirt…. It’s the kind of common sense he showed as a coach: practical and kinda goofy.”

Walz is also a symbol of an important resetting of the Democratic Party. He has been unapologetic about his popular programs. On Sunday, July 28, when CNN’s Jake Tapper listed some of Walz’s policies and asked if they made Walz vulnerable to Trump calling him a “big government liberal.” Walz joked that he was, indeed, a “monster.” 

“Kids are eating and having full bellies so they can go learn, and women are making their own health care decisions, and we’re a top five business state, and we also rank in the top three of happiness…. The fact of the matter is,” where Democratic policies are implemented, “quality of life is higher, the economies are better…educational attainment is better. So yeah, my kids are going to eat here, and you’re going to have a chance to go to college, and you’re going to have an opportunity to live where we're working on reducing carbon emissions. Oh, and by the way, you’re going to have personal incomes that are higher, and you’re going to have health insurance. So if that’s where they want to label me, I’m more than happy to take the label.” 

Right-wing reactionary politicians have claimed to represent ordinary Americans since the time of the passage of the Voting Rights Act—on August 6, 1965, exactly 59 years ago today—by insisting that a government that works for communities is a “socialist” plan to elevate undeserving women and racial, ethnic, and gender minorities at the expense of hardworking white men. 

Historically, though, rural America has quite often been the heart of the country’s progressive politics, and the Midwest has had a central place in that progressivism. Walz reintegrates that history with today’s Democratic Party. 

That reintegration has left the Republicans flatfooted. Trump and J.D. Vance expected to continue their posturing as champions of the common man, but on that front the credentials of a New York real estate developer who inherited millions of dollars and of a Yale-educated venture capitalist pale next to a Nebraska-born schoolteacher. Bryan Metzger, politics reporter at Business Insider, pointed out that J.D. Vance tried to hit Walz as a “San Francisco-style liberal,” but while Vance lived in San Francisco as a venture capitalist between 2013 and 2017, Walz went to San Francisco for the first time just last month. 

Head writer and producer of A Closer Look at Late Night with Seth Meyers Sal Gentile summed up Walz’s progressive politics and community vibe when he wrote on social media: “Tim Walz will expand free school lunches, raise the minimum wage, make it easier to unionize, fix your [carburetor], replace the old wiring in your basement, spray that wasp’s nest under the deck, install a new spring for your garage door and put a new chain on your lawnmower.” 

Vice President Harris had a very deep bench from which to choose a running mate, but her choice of Walz seems to have been widely popular. Representatives Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Joe Manchin of West Virginia, who are usually on opposite sides of the party, both praised the choice, prompting Ocasio-Cortez to post: “Dems in disconcerting levels of array.” 

Harris and Walz held their first rally together tonight in Philadelphia, where Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro, who had been a top contender for the vice presidential slot, fired up the crowd. “Each of us has a responsibility to get off the sidelines, to get in the game, and to do our part,” he said. “Are you ready to do your part? Are you ready to form a more perfect union? Are you ready to build an America where no matter what you look like, where you come from, who you love, or who you pray to, that this will be a place for you? And are you ready to look the next president of the United States in the eye and say, ‘Hello, Madam President?’ I am too, so let’s get to work!”

Pennsylvania is a crucial state, and Shapiro issued a statement offering his “enthusiastic support” to the ticket. He pledged to work to unite Pennsylvanians behind my friends Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and defeat Donald Trump.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[wanderingblindly]

((I’m faux answering your message so I can courtesy cut your fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My reply is below!!!!!!!!!!))

part 1

“Hey, can I change this twenty in for quarters?”

”Bouncy balls are, what, like five bucks? Can’t I just buy it?”

”Are you kidding me? Any other arcade you can get twice as many credits for the same price as this shithole. This is ridiculous.”

“Can I get five nachos and six cokes? Actually, can you make one of them a sprite? Thanks.”

The rush of people finally dissipates and Oscar can take a breath. He takes the opportunity to wipe down the counter. There’s not much on it, but it helps to break up the day a little bit.

He looks up for the next customer.

Ah. It’s frosted tips guy.

”Hello, Oscar!”

Oscar’s heart stutters a little bit before he remembers he’s wearing his goddamn name tag. “Hi there,” he says with a little wave. What the fuck is he doing.

Frosted tips smirks slightly. “I’m here to tell you that today is a momentous occasion,” he says rather pompously.

Oscar can’t help but smile at him. “Oh? What is it?”

He puffs his chest out a little. “I’m gonna win that lava lamp today.”

Oscar crosses his arms over his chest. “Alright. That’s gonna be 5,000 tickets.”

Oscar expects him to balk and set his sights on a more reasonable goal. Instead, he gets this thoughtful look on his face, a hand coming up to scratch at the non-existent hairs on his tanned chin.

“Alright. I’m gonna need one of them slurpie thingies–“

”Slushie.”

”– right. And,” he dumps a handful of five and one dollar bills and some coins on the counter, “however many credits this gets me.”

After he gets frosted tips guy’s slushie flavor (“cherry, obviously”), he hands back the requested slushie, the appropriate amount of credits, and a one pound note he found amongst the dollars.

”Cheers, mate!” frosted tips says cheerfully as he strides determinedly towards the arcade machines, chomping on the straw as he slurps his slushie.

Oscar salutes him as he leaves. He’ll need all the luck he can get to gather that many tickets.

part 2

Frosted tips dumps a bunch of tickets on the counter. ”Alright. Where am I at?”

Oscar counts out the tickets, but he can already tell by the pile that it won’t be enough.

”That’s two hundred thirty-two.”

Frosted tips gasps loudly.

“No!”

He flops over dramatically, then sips on his slushie, looking completely dejected. Like a sad, wet cat. Cute. Wait, what?

Suddenly, his face pinches up and he starts pacing wildly in front of the counter. “Gah! Brain freeze!” he says, before dropping down to the floor.

”… Hello?” Oscar calls tentatively. There’s a long drawn out groan in response.

”Do you want to keep going?”

”Mmph.” A hand comes up from behind the counter and slaps a twenty dollar bill on top.

”Thanks.”

”Hnng.”

”Here’s your credits.”

”Mmhmm.”

”Are you alright?”

”Hmmng.”

He watches frosted tips guy slowly clamor his way to standing, then point seriously at the slushie cup. “These things are dangerous,” he says with all the solemnity of the grave.

”Hmm. I’ll keep that in mind.” He can hear the smile in his voice. Damn it.

”Good,” frosted tips says, “you should.” He maintains eye contact for a few moments longer before waltzing off, cherry-flavored slushie still in hand. Oscar watches him take a tentative sip, wince, then take another sip. Oscar still has a smile on his face when the next customer comes up.

part 3

Frosted tips slams his tickets on the counter as he rushes past.

”Can you count these while I go pee? Thanks kay bye,” he says all in one breath.

Oscar starts separating the tickets into strips of 10, glancing over to the ticket-counting machine to his left. If he feels warmth blossom in his chest, that’s nobody’s business but his own.

”Okay,” frosted tips says upon his return, “that sorted, where am I at?”

Oscar glances up. The man in front of him is practically bouncing on his feet, repressing a smile like a firefly caught in clasped hands. Oscar wants to set it free.

”Your total now is,” he checks the previous total he’d written down on a notepad, “one thousand and two.”

And oh, there it is. His smile is softer than he expected, even as he preens. Quietly pleased.

”I finally found a game that I’m good at.”

”Uh huh?”

”Yeah. The basketball one.”

”Nice.”

Oscar crooks a smile in his direction, who beams back at him. Oscar is staggered by the force of it, something cracking open in him a little in response.

”Right, I’ll just crack on, then?”

And oh. Right. Conversation. He’s pretty sure that he’s been staring, given the way that cute guy’s (when did he decide to change that moniker?) eyes are twinkling at him.

”Ah, yep, sure, see you in a bit.”

And then cute guy winks at him. Cute guy. Good grief.

part 4

”It’s hopeless!” cute guy moans from where he’s slumped on the counter. He dejectedly shoves another nacho into his mouth, face still pressed against the counter.

”What happened to basketball?” Oscar refuses to think of his pout as cute. Except he already thinks of the other man as “cute guy” so that battle is probably already lost there.

”My arms hurt,” he whines, “I’m not cut out to be a basketball player.”

”Yeah, I could already tell that by your height.”

”Hey!” cute guy yelps in indignation, sitting up in the foldable steel chair he found to make his pity party more comfortable.

Oscar watches him eat some more nachos. “So, are you quitting your quest for the lava lamp?”

”Nah,” he says once he’s finished chewing and has a swig of sprite, “I just needed to refuel. Seventeen fifty you said, right?”

Oscar nods, quietly impressed that he’s continuing. However, as the night goes on, cute guy gets quieter and quieter every time he stops over to check his total as it becomes clear that he won’t be able to meet his goal. When the arcade finally reaches closing time, he shuts everything down and goes to find the man that’s been the highlight of his shift.

”Hey, I’m sorry but we’ve gotta lock up.”

Cute guy straightens up from the pinball machine, looking a little rueful, a little sad, but not despairing. “Ah, well. Didn’t quite make it. Gave it a good try, though, eh?” He laughs a little, drily. “Knew it was impossible. We both knew this was how it was gonna go. But I tried anyway, right?”

And yeah, that just won’t do. Mind made up, he says “come on,” to the cute guy with the frosted tips, and walks over to the skee ball machine.

“Hand me whatever credits you have left.” He hands them over, mystified but clearly understanding where this is headed. Oscar takes the credits, slots a couple in, takes a deep breath, and plays.

Skee ball is a simple game.

You’re given five tries at it, each ball about the size of an apple, and a ramp to reach the target. There’s a bullseye in the middle with concentric circles surrounding it for less and less points the further from the center you go. The goal is to slot the ball in to a hole at the bottom of each circle to win the most points.

The real points, however, are in the upper corners.

”Holy shit, Osc!”

The rest of the arcade is empty, but Oscar knows he only would’ve heard them in their little bubble anyway. The beeps and ringing noises of the skee ball machine. The satisfying thunk and slide of the ball itself. The pretty boy beside him, yelling in his ear, filling him with lightning.

By the time Oscar retrieves the lava lamp, cute guy (he really should know his name by now) is quietly smiling, hands in his pockets.

”Ta da,” Oscar says, about as playful as he gets. “Now, I got you your lava lamp and I don’t even know your name.”

He carefully sets the box with the lava lamp down, treating it reverently. He turns. He holds out a hand.

”I’m Lando.”

”Nice to meet you, Lando. I’m Oscar.”

”Yeah, I know.”

”Right. The name tag.”

”Yeah. The name tag.”

They both pause, the moment warm and syrupy.

”Well-“ is said.

”See you–“ at the same time.

They both laugh.

”Have a good night,” Oscar says, his voice curled around a smile.

”Yeah. You, too.”

STOPPPPPPPPPPPP PURPLE HEART THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE ;ASDKJFA;LSJDFLASJDFLKAJSDFLKJASLDKFJLASDFJLSAJDFL oscar and his recently discovered Emotional Support Idiot, that's it. That's the fic that's the twee that's the thesis oh my GOD

[katze-thief]

five days for love confession

pairing: Ren Amamiya/Akira Kurusu x fem!reader

summary: Shujin Academy is holding its annual cultural festival, and it seems that five days of preparation is all it takes to make your crush fall in love with you.

chapter two: rainy monday

"five days for love confession" series' masterlist

Rain bucketed out of the sky since early morning. You could hear the loud sound it made against the roof, a rowdy and consistent rumble that sounded like it was shaking the structure of the building. Nonetheless, everything was open as usual today. Even though you could see, through your window, everyone running in the streets and struggling to commute to work, apparently no one was exempt of work or school, it seemed. Including you. The traditional summer weather.

You sighed, as you finished your bento. You wrapped it around a pink fabric, placing it on top of your school bag, alongside some snacks. Today, as per the school official schedule lists’ email, you were going to attend Shujin until 8PM, because of the long awaited annual cultural festival — although, for you, at least, the rain was a clear signal that the school should just drop it. Nobody was really excited by it — besides Makoto (but it’s kind of a responsibility issue for her) and Haru — and organizing it seemed more like a chore than the ‘bonding-magical-cooperative-life-experience-of-the-youth’ it was initially intended. But, of course, for a generational prep school like Shujin it was important to maintain these things. To maintain sovereignty over the other prep schools.

Basically dragged, you left home.

The entire path to the station was just terrible. Besides the rain, there was a cold weather that looked like autumn. Your umbrella visibly wasn’t withstanding the winds, and the summer uniform provided no comfort. But you did it. You entered the train — that looked more like an umbrella exhibition — and arrived in Ginza Line, ready to take the next train to Shibuya. It was full as usual. You were in between a second-year student, who gossiped too loud about Makoto, and a guy that was soaked wet, dripping water in your uniform.

Twenty minutes later (that seemed like an eternity), the train stopped.

“Shibuya Ward, Line 3. Shibuya Ward, Line 3” the familiar train voice yelled, repeatedly.

Shibuya was as full of people as always, a lot of them carrying umbrellas or soaked by the rain. You gently placed your broken umbrella at a trash can, as you stared at the heavy rain. A bunch of people was standing at the Shibuya’s station exit, looking at the waterfall coming out of the sky. A lot of Shujin students too, you notice. Your eyes fluttered searching for a special someone, though, leaving your brain disappointed by his absence.

“This may be the heaviest rain in the last 10 years, I heard!” A businesswomen said.

“I heard it. Truly, a summer rain!” A salary-man laughed.

You stood there for, maybe, ten or fifteen minutes, picking up courage to run through the rain. Your eyes flickered to the station’s clock, aware of the entrance time. Eventually, encompassing that some students were running, you ran with them, jolting the way to school. As you felt the rain getting too heavy, you ran into an awning.

“You too?” you heard a familiar voice say.

As you looked to your right, all of them were there. Almost all. Ann, Makoto, Ryuji, Futaba, and, more important, Ren. Ann, the voice you recognized, looked at you, chuckling.

Everyone was drenched, in different degrees. Ann was almost dry, as Makoto. Futaba’s hair was drenched, not her clothes, which really did not make that much of a sense in your head. Ren and Ryuji were completely dripping water, as you.

Makoto was squatting on the floor, as Ren and Futaba passed a few coins to her. She was counting them, coin by coin. The three of them looked unaware of your arrival. Your eyes lingered in Ren for a while.

“Gosh, it’s raining a lot today.” you said, drawing attention to you. “A woman on the station said it’s the heaviest rain in years. I don’t get how they expect us to plan while dealing with this weather. They should just cancel this festival already. I’m certain it’ll rain next Saturday anyway.”

“Good morning, sunshine.” Ren joked, as everyone laughed. You felt your cheeks burning. His cheeks were slightly toned pink, and water from his hair dripped down his face. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, which made you stare at him a bit curious. “I agree. It’s such a hassle…”

“All this festival effin’ shit is just bullshit.” Ryuji added, visibly angry.

“It’s very important, though. It gets funds for the clubs.” Makoto’s eyes were still fixed on the coins. “Any fund for the umbrella whip-round here?”

You searched for coins in your purse, and handed it to Ren, who passed to Makoto. She seemed to count it all again, before going into the store which awning you were all standing underneath. A few minutes later she came back, carefully carrying three umbrellas. Makoto took one and Ryuji the other.

You splitted one with Ren, noticing that he walked slower, respecting your pace. Makoto and Ann giggled and gossiped under their umbrella behind you, and Ryuji and Futaba basically ran ahead of you. The splatting sounds of water fulfilled the silence in between you.

“So…” Ren started, coughing softly after. “I read the email with today’s schedule. Seem like we have the same schedule today.”

Your mind stopped working for a second. How would you answer in a non-suspicious way, that certainly would not seem like you pleaded for the school administration council to be placed on the same activities as him?

You could feel your hands getting sweaty and the sounds of talking getting quieter. You chewed on your lip and answered the first thing that crossed your mind.

“How bizarre.”

The day flew by inconsequential. You were in a different classroom than the Thieves, and, besides that, they had an unspoken rule of not talking on school grounds, or, at least, in front of everyone. Ren and Ryuji had their reputation, and Futaba had to socialize with her classmates, as she was entering her first year. So, at least until after lunch, each one had their own groupies, and Ren and Ryuji had each other.

Then, it was festival preparation time.

As soon the rain stopped, the campus was garnished. You walked through the corridor, trying to find the classroom that “Cutting and Sewing of Hangings” was supposed to be, and, of course, admiring the students’ hard work, as many decorations were being pushed around the school, glued to the walls, and hanged on the ceilings.

Haru waved at you, holding a small bonsai and an orchid vase. Around her, was other girls carrying a few boxes and pushing carts with the most beautiful flowers: hydrangeas, lavenders, and many, MANY, daisies, and sunflowers. The second floor was full of pollen, and you could even spot some students frantically scratching their noses. You waved back, quickening the pace to get out of there.

You slid the door of the class 2-A, just to find the students divided. The room had a weird unwelcoming aura that just made you want to go back to the allergy-inducing corridor. Half the students were on one side and half on the other side, with Ren alone on the corner of the classroom, cutting some red swirls. A silent altercation.

Quickly, Kimiko, a friend of your class, grabbed your wrist.

“I’m so sorry, I tried to tell the counselor, but he said that he couldn’t change the role!” she pleaded "Nobody need to talk with such a weirdo like him."

You quickly walked over to the desk on Ren’s side, the only available, placing your bag on the floor and sitting not so long after.

He looks tired. A lot tired. He was rubbing his temples with a hand, cutting with the other, blinking slowly like on a daze. Ren was wearing gym clothes, which you assumed it was because of the drenched clothes from earlier. Also, he wore his glasses. You could feel your heart beating a bit faster.

“Nobody puts Baby on a corner.” you whispered, joking, as you refer to the endless ‘Dirty Dancing movie sessions that Yusuke and Ann obligated the entire squad to see. Ren chuckled, making the entire classroom stare at both of you weirdly. “What happened here?” you whispered again, wrinkling your nose.

He handed you a script and a note, written in very big, bold letters.

“ROMEO AND JULIET: CAST

REN AMAMIYA as ROMEO

Y/N L/N as JULIET”

As someone who just lost total willpower to contest, you handed the script back to him and picked up the scissors to cut out flags.

What a great Monday it is.

hi guys!! thank you for the support! it really makes me happy. i'll try to post a new chapter every week, at least, so stay tuned. also, i take requests!

[earth-64]

Wake Up Call - Nintendo Alarmo

All through Summer 2024 the Nintendo fandom had been in a fervor. The Nintendo Switch’s reign had eclipsed its seven year apex: the time had come for a new flagship piece of hardware to take its place. The stage seemed to be set: the game releases were thinning, the Nintendo Directs sparse, and the major game releases clearly smaller, outsourced, and not the main focus of development. Nintendo had already acknowledged the new machine’s existence with an assurance of it being announced within the fiscal year, followed by a continuous promise below each and every announcement stream that there “will be no mention of the Nintendo Switch successor during [...] these presentations.”

As the dog days passed by, during the fleeting few weeks of Fall that still existed between the ever widening record-high Summers and devastating Winter storms, it seemed undeniable that the stage was being set. Nintendo filed new patents for motion sensor technology. Word got out that they were filming a commercial for a new piece of hardware. They flew out content creators to demo something kept under wraps. And on October 9th, 2024, fans awoke to a flurry of notifications, an early morning unheralded announcement shaking the very foundations of what was thought possible for the gaming giant: 

Alarmo.

Nintendo’s smart alarm clock. A touchscreen device with a sleek interface, loaded with 35 themes inspired by 5 games (and more to come), and a $100 price tag. Their patented motion sensing technology made for a hands-free experience. Set the alarm once and from then on, each and every morning, your eyes would flutter open to a jazzy Mario tune, and your triumphant rise from bed would be rewarded with a victory jingle, a “Lets-A-Go!”, and a shot of nostalgic dopamine. 

But is nostalgic the right word? The motion sensor only works with a very specific set-up: most notably being limited to one person, a small bed, and a room that will remain otherwise empty through the night. No spouses, no pets, no roommates. It was clear this was intended for a child’s room. So no, it wasn’t nostalgic. At least not yet. It was designed to create new nostalgia.

Nintendo Alarmo, along with the similarly aimed Pokemon Sleep, are part of Nintendo’s long-running obsession with intentionally forming habits and responses. From the scheduled broadcasts of the Satellaview to the daily-task centric Animal Crossing series, and especially the predatory practices of their mobile game releases, Nintendo had a penchant for designing parasites that attached themselves to your waking (and non-waking) cycle. 

Today I’ll be sharing excerpts from interviews with people who received Alarmos as children, and uncover the shocking effects of waking each morning to a pavlovian coin-get jingle. But first, speaking of coin-getting, a word from today’s sponsor: LoanFast. Is payday just a—

God what a waste of time. Shit’s always so negative these days. These nostalgia-grab video essays used to be pleasant. Here’s an old-school animated movie you haven’t seen since the DVD bargain bin! Top ten cartoons of the 2010s! The misunderstood genius of the Wii U! But nah, now time has crept past the optimistic millennials. We’re struggling to find the diamonds in the rough patch that was the 2020s, to salvage anything from that fucking trash heap of a decade. God, no wait. Now I sound like them. I grew up with that age of media. I love that age of media. It’s just so easy to let the zeitgeist of doomerism– Okay stop. It’s way too easy to let these things override my brain. I had to mentally backspace the phrase “easily impressionable” right there too. I watch these videos with their big words and their gloomy ways of lookin at life and I feel it all start to seep into me. 

Millennials will convince you that the 00s were the peak of human creation. That the 10s were the last big push of creativity. But that's just not true! My cartoons were way better! Our video games are just objectively cooler and bigger! Adults get stuck on trying to make fun of my generation for the same few bullshit things, if I hear one more Skibidi Rizz I’m gonna– Shouldn’t think like that. I’m 24 now. That’s an adult. I’m an adult. I keep saying that and it doesn’t sound any more true. It happened so fast. It took so much time but it happened so fast. I was just a kid, playing Super Mario Odyssey on an old LCD, and then I was a teenager and a lot happened, so much happened, and now I’m an adult playing Super Mario Odyssey on an old LCD and nothing happens, nothing ever happens. I am an adult and it is Christmas Eve and I am alone.

It was Christmas Eve then too. Back when Christmas felt like Christmas. I was 12 years old when I got the Nintendo Alarmo. December 24th, 2024 when I tore open my first present of the year. It was tradition to get one present the night before, usually something to pass the time until I was more tired than I was excited for the next morning. You wouldn’t think a clock would keep me busy but I spent the whole evening fiddling with the options, looking at every theme, resetting the time to hear the top-of-the-hour jingles for each game. I remember dad helping me put in the wi-fi password, I remember mom’s hurried trip to whatever convenience store was still open on the holiday because the damned thing didn’t come with an AC adapter. She brought back a package of Reese’s and one of those juice drinks with a plastic toy on it. It was… a Spongebob one? Yeah, and I set it on the shelf and it fell off during all the unwrapping the next day and it rolled underneath the shelf and it was down there for months and I’m remembering every single time I was sitting on the floor playing Mario and Luigi Brothership after getting it the next day and every single time I could see the Spongebob juice topper below the tv smiling at me and I never thought to get it I never put any thought into it being there it was just there until a day my mom must have swept and it wasn’t there and I didn’t think about it not being there. Until right now. 

Why didn’t that thing come with an AC adapter, god that’s so stupid.

I think about all that and I don’t think about everything that happened afterwards. I’m 12 years old and it’s Christmas Eve 2024 and I’m getting the Nintendo Alarmo and now I’m 24 years old and it’s Christmas Eve 2036 and I look over at the window sill next to my bed and the Nintendo Alarmo is still there, still ticking. The AC adapter has been replaced a couple times and it’s a bit dinged up but it’s still ticking. So much happened all the while that clock kept ticking. I’m still ticking. I’ve gotten so worked up over this fucking video and I’ve been scrolling my home page this whole time. I try to actually read the titles my eyes are glossing over: “The Untold Story of Minecraft’s 1.50 Disaster”, “What Went Wrong With Forza 2030”, “Does Sony Regret Dropping Out of Consoles?” and I almost click the last one to see which retired executive guy they’re interviewing and personifying the whole company onto this time and I stop myself. It just takes one god damn clickbait title to manufacture curiosity like that and I’ll be watching another two hour video about job layoffs and feeling like shit again. I’m so sick of feeling like shit. It’s getting harder and harder to find content that makes me feel good. 

I decide to just turn the damn thing off. I sit there in the dark for a minute, as a dim light comes from across the room: it's 11:00pm and my Nintendo Alarmo is displaying a top-of-the-hour animation. Mario runs into view, bumps a block 11 times. I hear the little coin-collection jingle 11 times, and then the screen defaults back to its calmer darker state. 

I google for a day calculator on my phone and punch in that Christmas Eve and this one. 

4,383 days. If you take into the fact that after the Animal Crossing theme releases I swapped to that for Halloween and Christmas mornings, that’s 22 Animal Crossing mornings, and 4,360 Super Mario mornings, and 1 Mario Kart morning that I hated. Who the fuck wants to wake up to tires screeching? And the “FIRST PLACE VICTORY!” out-of-bed message was a bit patronizing even for me. But yeah, 4,360 Super Mario wake up calls. 4,360 times I have heard the Super Mario Bros. theme song as the very first sound of the day. Through thick and thin, from one side of the country to the other, through every school morning from 2024 onward and every single day of every job I’ve worked, it's remained constant. A morning without that jingle is just not conceivable to me, it's as natural a part of life as anything else. As sure as I’ll eat food and as sure as I’ll take a crap and as sure as I’ll turn my computer on and as sure as I’ll sleep again the next night is as sure as I will hear that jingle. Speaking of, sleep.

I brush my teeth with Scooby Doo bubblegum toothpaste and a toothbrush that I avoid looking too closely at because its got Spongebob on it and I’m too tired to let myself start back down that path of thinking about the things I took for granted. I can feel on my teeth that the brush is awfully frayed. I’ve been putting off buying a new one for months. I don’t know why. I could just grab one at the store and swap it out and it would make me feel so much better and be so much better for me, but I just don’t do it, I just never think to get it while I’m there and that just happens everyday and I blink and it's been months and my toothbrush is still frayed. 4,360 times. 4,360 times. 

I catch my brain multi-track drifting and decide I can’t sleep without a distraction. I open Youtube on my phone and start scrolling for something to play while I sleep. I crawl into bed and I just barely remember it's Christmas tomorrow. I grab the Nintendo Alarmo and thumb through the settings, swiping through menus. 

When I wake up tomorrow I’ll think that maybe I was just too tired, maybe I just got other shit on my mind, and that maybe these old LCD touchscreens are just over-sensitive pieces of shit or that maybe just maybe I am. But tomorrow my eyes will open at the time they’re used to opening anyway and I’ll be ready to hear the special Animal Crossing Toy Day Jingle that I was so certain I set it to, and I’ll hear the horrible screeching of tires on pavement and something will snap in me and I’ll hear the “FIRST PLACE VICTORY” and think about the empty platitudes and the 12 years I can barely remember and the four thousand wake-up calls that accompanied me as I kept sleep-walking through them and I’ll wake up and something will shatter and I’ll spend Christmas morning cleaning up the shards. 

[thalialunacy]

[HI FRANS. Believe it or not, this is for the @calaisreno May Prompt Fete. Herein lies useless fluffy smut, rated E. Yar.]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) 25: (counter-)intuition (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

As it happens, they don't end up flipping any coins.

Charmed lives, they have not led -- as their therapists' files can attest -- but they've now got the hard-won, slightly dented treasure of true familiarity, which means--

'John--what--' He's turned enough that the showerhead, which is, per usual, placed far too low for a person of his height, spritzes water which jumps off his shoulder and hits him on the nose. He twitches, probably not unlike an annoyed bunny rabbit, and John's mouth turns up. 'Why are you here. In the washroom. While I'm showering.'

John starts to unbutton his shirt, and Sherlock watches, mouth drying, as he summarily strips down to boxers and vest and just… steps into the tub.

He's out of the spray, mostly, and Sherlock calculates how long he has until he starts to get cold. 'Because you've had a shit day,' Sherlock hears him say.

For a moment, Sherlock's brain whizzes with how John could possibly deduce as much when Sherlock is naked and just-washed. 

Then he realises with a tick that this is… psychological. This is a thing where John's knowledge is superior to Sherlock's. Some day Sherlock will accept that (not that he doesn't believe it of John, he just chafes at his own incomplete skillset) but for today he just shoves it aside and moves to the next. 

Which is leaning down to connect their mouths, feeling the water beat against his shoulderblade while he tests out what John tastes like in this new use case.

And, of course, he tastes like a long day, the aspects of which Sherlock notes automatically. But what bleats louder in his brain is the textures - water, skin, cotton, hair, calluses, steam. It all serves to spear his attention and start his blood to decidedly rapid movement.

'John,' he manages, though his lips don't stray far. 'As much as I hate to be the practical one here, this seems rather needlessly dangerous.' John nips at his bottom lip and Sherlock can feel the grin. 'Needlessly,' he reiterates, hands sliding under the vest to journey over John's shoulders and hold him steady. 'With a perfectly good bed so close by.'

But John shakes his head as he pulls away. Sherlock barely refrains from leaning forward and chasing him, but John is implacable.

He lifts his chin in indication. 'Hands on the wall, please.'

Sherlock's eyes narrow as his heart triple-times. 'You can't be serious.'

But John absolutely is. 'You've been in here for a good twenty minutes. You're fine. Turn around.'

'Surely the angles--' He's not sure why he's arguing, except he really would be very put out if someone were to slip and brain themselves on something.

John seems to have no such concerns. 'I'm fairly confident in my abilities, Sherlock.'

Sherlock flushes. 'Yes, fine, no need for braggadocio.' He pauses and kisses John one more time, just to be contrary, then does as requested. His other shoulder is in the spray, now, as John's lips press against the top of his spine momentarily.

And John does find the angles indeed. Sherlock has just enough time to calculate that he must be sat on the edge of the bathtub, which is likely to be very uncomfortable, before sensation sparks sharply on the skin of his bum.

'You have such a gorgeous--' Instead of finishing his sentence, John bites down lightly again. 'Well, everything, really,' he says while his hands gently pull Sherlock apart until he's utterly exposed.

The water running down his back is a soft but pleasant sensation as it makes its way down, and he finds himself closing his eyes.

He feels John pause. 'Ready?'

Sherlock thinks to scoff, but it comes out as more of a huffy whine.

'Right, then.'

The first touch of John's tongue is soft and wet and glorious, and he does not hesitate before settling in. As pleasure sings through his body, Sherlock finds his mind spinning through gears, churning until the frustrations of the day are in manageable pieces packed neatly for later examination.

His fist curls against the cold wall. 'John, wait.' In direct contradiction, his body pushes back against John's mouth, and a groan escapes him. 'I want to--'

John hmms, which translates to a spike of pleasure that pushes the air from his lungs. 'John.' 

Suddenly John is standing, crowding him against the tile. 'Go on, then,' he says, lips on the back of Sherlock's neck, as his hand moves round to assist him to completion.

'But--' Sherlock grinds out. 'You--'

John shakes his head, which feels desperately new from this angle, and Sherlock nearly cries out as his orgasm approaches. 'Just enjoy it.'

There's such affection in his voice that Sherlock is at once able to do just that, cataloguing the sensations as his body clenches and releases.

'Good,' John is murmuring as Sherlock comes down. 'So fucking gorgeous.'

Sherlock starts to smirk, but then John continues. 'Sodding idiot, too.'

Sherlock gasps, his lungs not quite ready for full sentences. 'Pardon?'

'You couldn't possibly have thought you could find an entire people carrier's worth of personal effects in an afternoon.'

John says this, and Sherlock hears it, but he's understandably distracted by John also dragging a finger through the mess on the wall and bringing it back round to his own mouth. Sherlock barely represses a shudder as the visual flashes through his mind.

He takes a final recalibrating breath, then turns around and captures John's lips in a searching, grateful kiss. 'You're certain--' he offers one last time.

'Nah, hot water's running out.' John reaches for a towel and steps out of the tub, mostly onto the bathmat. 'Besides, there may or may not be a new box of biscuits waiting for us.' 

John and his simple pleasures. 'Ginger, even,' Sherlock surmises. 'And how did you know about my afternoon?'

'I saw the news, you berk,' John says while throwing a second towel in Sherlock's direction. 'And I know you. Now dry yourself off.'

---

'Are we doing this out of order?'

Sherlock pauses to look at John just a few minutes later, the towel partially obscuring his gaze. 'How so?'

'Ah. Well. It's just that in my past relationships, that bit--' He gestures vaguely with his toothbrush; Sherlock presumes he's referring to analingus. '--wouldn't be proposed until there was a-- a certain number of other things attempted first. Accomplished first, even.'

Sherlock sighs. 'I will never understand heterosexuals.'

'Oi--'

He throws up his hands, clutching onto the towel at the last moment. 'There's no rulebook, John!'

'Well, of course not, but--'

'There are books,' Sherlock allows. 'Many of them. I can loan you some if you like.'

John pauses. 'Doesn't the internet suffice?'

'John, please. Don't be so average.'

'Dick.'

'Learning about sex from "The Internet"--' He does indeed make the air quotes. '--is about as useful as learning to practise medicine from Green Wing.'

'Hang on, how do you know Green Wing?'

'Research,' Sherlock says blithely.

---

The point is, the guesswork of a new sexual relationship is nearly wholly absent. Unless 'Did you stop by the chemist?' counts, though the third time that happens John just starts stashing condoms & lube in random (toddler-proof) places. 

Like the locked knife drawer one morning while Rosie is sleeping off a teething, tantrum-y night. John is keyed up from exhaustion and single-minded in his immediate goals, so Sherlock happens to have been pushed into the counter above said drawer, and he lifts up onto it easily enough as John unbuttons his shirt with efficient fingers.

'I know you just put your togs on,' he mutters into Sherlock's mouth as he reaches Sherlock's belt. 'But I don't care.'

'Fine by me,' Sherlock says, his attention largely on untying John's scrub bottoms drawstring by feel. 'As long as I get what I-- Oh--'

John smirks into Sherlock's jaw, his hand working inside Sherlock's very fancy pants. 'Up,' he orders quietly, hooking his other index finger into the side of Sherlock's trousers so he can pull them off.

Then as Sherlock moves to obey, John stops with a frown. 'Wait. Your wrist.'

'Is healed.'

'Just because it no longer has a cast, doesn't mean--'

Sherlock doesn't have time for this nonsense. 'Sofa, then.'

But John is shaking his head. He meets Sherlock's gaze. 'How about just… the other way round?'

Sherlock takes a sharp breath. They've not done the full ninety (a term he picked up from John, much to his chagrin) more than a few times yet, and it's been Sherlock receiving. Which he thoroughly enjoys, but the idea of being inside John makes his breath feel very short in his lungs. 'John? Will that… work? Angles?'

John runs his hands up the backs of Sherlock's thighs and leans into a kiss, holding on firmly. 'The magic 8-ball says the outlook is good.'

And that's all that gets said as they trade places and come back together. Sherlock's cast is off but John is John, so he takes on the responsibility of sitting on the cold counter and leaning back into his wrists while Sherlock fingers the worries right out of him.

'Fuck,' John curses under his breath as he hooks a hand behind his left thigh and lifts it just enough more-- 'Yes, please, god damn it--'

Sherlock reaches blindly for the hidden key to the knife drawer, and manages to retrieve the necessary items without damaging himself. John would be impressed but a) he'd already known Sherlock is skilled with his hands, and b) he is somehow completely distracted by the skin over Sherlock's clavicle.

But his eyes snap up to meet Sherlock's when he feels them line up slickly. Sherlock searches his face, and John nods once. Decisively.

Sherlock holds his gaze, palming the back of John's other thigh, and they both breathe out as their bodies connect in this new and different way.

John grunts, forcing himself not to move. The satisfying burn in his core muscles mingles with the fading sting of Sherlock's penetration, and the look on Sherlock's face is worth all of it.

Then Sherlock starts to fuck him, and he can only manage to think about himself, to keep balanced and keep from flat-out shouting and keep from interrupting it all to drag Sherlock's lips down to his.

Sherlock senses this last one, he must, because his free hand slides up John's chest to cup his jaw, and John's heart clenches in his chest.

When Sherlock's thumb drags across his lips, he knows Sherlock is close to coming, so he sucks in the tip and bites down, just a little.

It works - Sherlock says his name on a low groan and shudders once, twice. Three times.

John does drag him down for a kiss, then, which Sherlock obliges, albeit a bit messily, managing to stay inside him by way of tightening his grip around John's thigh. He's breathing hard, and John's body surges as he feels Sherlock's other hand close around his prick.

'Fuck, Sherlock--' He tightens his hold on the back of Sherlock's neck. 'Don't stop.'

Sherlock chuckles wheezily at this, but he doesn't stop until John has spilled warmly over his hand, their mouths sticky and dry but connected regardless.

Sherlock gets his breath back first. 'Your obliques are going to be sore tomorrow.'

John huffs out a laugh. 'Among other things. My god.' He gingerly lowers his legs, glad Sherlock is coherent enough to handle the condom properly. 'I'll take the bin out before Rosie wakes up,' he says with a tired grin.

Then he sits up, albeit a bit slowly, and slides his hands around Sherlock's ribcage. 'That was all right, I suppose.'

'Satisfactory.' Sherlock's breath ghosts across his nose and he feels lips on his temple. They're both trying hard not to grin, and they're mostly succeeding.

A wicked thought occurs to John, and he stops bothering to hide it.

'So. I thought it would work, even though you didn't.'

Sherlock pauses, undoubtedly predicting where John is headed with this. 'Don't.'

'I had a feeling you'd like it, even though you thought you wouldn't.'

'John. No.'

'It was… counter-intuitive.'

'You owe me twenty quid for having to stand here and listen to that, at the very least.'

'Oh, please. Put it on my tab. Paper scissors rock for the disinfecting?'

'You're volunteering, you mean.'

'Wanker.'

And despite their exhaustion and distinct lack of cleanliness, holding onto each other long after it's necessary, they dissolve into laughter.

[<3]

[When I worked at a car dealership in my roaring 20s, we sold a truck to a contractor whose business name was Counter Intuition, and I thought it was the cleverest thing ever. Well, still do, clearly. XB And okay I know Britglish often uses 'worktop' instead of 'counter' but I asked a Brit only a bit younger than me, and he said he'd use 'counter' while his mum would use 'worktop', so pffft.]

[jupiter-reimagined]

HEY CHAT GUESS WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY <3

i ordered a buncha stickers from @assorteda and!! theyre here!!! on my bed!!! with me!!! and theyre absolutely beautiful!!! my phone and the lack of direct sun dont do them NEARLY enough justice

and!!! I GOT FREEBIES??? HELLO.... IM. IN LOVE. AWE STRUCK, EVEN???? I LOVE THE OVAL ONE I ALMOST ORDERED THAT ONE TOO BUT THAT WOULDVE GONE OVER MY CASH LIMIT AND AJRBHSHSHSJSSH IM SO SO SO SO HAPPY

all of them with a 50c coin to scale cuz. my feeble european mind cannot comprehend inches so i was positively shocked at how MASSIVE they are. which is invredible!!!!!!

and. i have MORE to rave about, believe it or not,,, im framing this little note. like actually. i adore the doodle!!! so. on the wall it shall now live

and the cherry on top LOOK AT THE PACKAGING IT CAME IN. I AUDIBLY SQUEALED WHEN I SAW THIS IN THE POST BOX AAAAAA I AM IN LOVE....

this was an absolute treat for the soul,,, aaa!!! i cannot get enough of them arghgh i am SO normal about this,,, everything will get saved and treasured and loved,,

and it came just 1 day after the estimated delivery dates began!!! i was so expecting to need to wait another 2 weeks to be graced with this beautiful little envelope and i am so happy to be wrong

100000/10 when i get the adult money again im 100% ordering again. without question

[thats-the-teen-spirit]

Bring Me The Horizon - POST HUMAN: NeX GEn album review

Well I didn't expect to write a full BMTH album review today but here we go. The band officially blueballed their audience to the point that as soon as they passed the longest streak without releasing an album, they surprise-dropped it completely unexpectedly. Just a heads-up, I'm not familiar to the lore of the album, what the Nex Gen is or whatever but still, here's my review:

[ost] dreamseeker

This is the shortest and most basic noise intro they've done I think for a while, it's just sounds of steps and the fade in to the first track

2. YOUtopia

Way before the album was announced, back during the Survivor Horror album cycle Oli said something along the way that the Post Human series wants to explore each of their favorite and most played genres, one of which was "emo" as he said. Emo in a sense that MCR or Underoath was emo, not the old-school way. YOUtopia has definitely the MCR feeling to it, not as much as LosT has though but that is not the point. This song has a bouncy riff, catchy chorus (similar style to Werewolf, the song the guys did with Lil Uzi Vert on his latest album) and the most 'amo' feel outside of the singles for me. Great song, definitely will be played during concerts.

3. Kool-Aid

The last single before they dropped the album, possibly the most balanced song out of the singles. Very catchy chorus, even the first few seconds feel like the "you're gonna die in the pit" fright that I usually feel at concerts. The breakdown is crazy, it has a very death metal guitar solo, what more do you want?

4. Top 10 staTues tHat CriEd bloOd

When I first read the title I thought this would be the most emo song on the album. I was not wrong. The style of 80% of the song is pure pop punk. There's the old school blink-182-like riff, the chorus sounds like it's from a 00's teen movie. Sometimes in the song there are cheeky blastbeat parts which I adored with Super Mario coin sounds that were hilarious. Oh and there's the Poliphia-bridge that made me smile. This is gonna be a top song on the album for sure for me. It's just so unapologetically fun, it's crazy.

5. liMOusIne (feat. AURORA)

The most out of place song for me, it doesn't even feel like BMTH. It sounds like they hopped on the Deftones-core hype train with the 8 or 9 string low tuned guitar riff that is more Sleep Token than BMTH. Still it's a banger, the bridge by AURORA is really catchy as well. The outro of the song is probably my favorite of theirs outside of One Day the Only Butterflies... on the previous album.

6. DArkSide

DArkSide was the fifth single, and in my opinion the most basic bitch one. It just sounds like they wanted to rip off Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong again, this of course doesn't mean that the song is bad. In fact it grew on me a lot since it got released. The lyrics are very edgy which is expected from a BMTH song but this song was also a bit too cheesy for me, it definitely goes for the safe radio play option that the band still needs to be as popular as they are.

7. ​​a bulleT w- my namE On (feat. Underoath)

If you read this review carefully you might have noticed that I namedropped Underoath earlier. Well, they are featured on the album. This one literally feels like an old-school Underoath song but with Oli's vocals and the modern hyperpop spin that they do through the whole album. At some point Spencer's vocals felt like they were originally be Jordan's which kinda broke my heart a bit, since the Oli+Jordan duo were my favorite songwriters in the scene. If you're a fan of Underoath you should definitely give this one a spin.

8. [ost] (spi)ritual

Intro=Dark Signs by Sleep Token, Lyrics=Fully Satanic, title=clever wordplay. It's a 2 minute long interlude that has some guitars in it so most fans will not be disappointed in it, the biblical references are there for the edge of it but are barely audible, if you're one of those fans who recently got offended by their latest marketing ploy (the Jesus one), then I'd suggest skip this one. Also it's BMTH, they have always been against religion in general so... don't be surprised.

9. n/A

This song broke me. The first two lines are: "Hi, My name is Oli and I'm an addict. I'm here cause I'm not quite all there". The guitar work is very simple in the beginning, reminiscent of Where is My Mind by the Pixies, but you can sense that something big is coming. This is the most personal song on the album, I haven't heard Oli open up this much about suicidal thoughts and addiction since Sempiternal. It also has a grotesque feel to it as he discribes how he would kill himself in various ways (jumping down a building, making love to a chainsaw, etc). This one is also pretty emo, but not just because of the lyrics, by the sound as well. Definitely will be landing on my playlist.

10. LoSt

Undoubtedly my favorite song on the album, i've been constantly listening to it since it came out last year. If there is a thing called "I'm not Okay"-core this is it. The breakdown is the funnest one through the whole discography of the band, the chorus is a clone of the aformentioned MCR song and the pacing feels like a pop punk banger with an easycore breakdown. Still 10/10 for me.

11. sTraNgeRs

It's kinda crazy to think about how much time passed between each single and the album itself. This song will always remind me to coming home from my ex-girlfriend whom I've completely alienated from at that point and humming to myself: We're just a room full of strangers. I know that the original meaning of the song is quite the oposite, it has a sense of unity and togetherness but still, my personal story overwrote this one for me and I cannot help it. This was the second single and in my opinion didn't age as well as the others but still a very good song.

12. Rip (duskCOre RemIx)

Some segments of the lyrics of this song can be found throughout the teasers BMTH put out in the past few years. This one is a purely hyperpop/heavy pop banger that is very common towards the end of the record. The pacing is again very pop punk and emo, but it has those glitchy effects and even a dance beat at some point. It's a fun one but the poppiest out of the whole record I think. Oh and there's a woah-woah post-chorus which is again, very pop punk. Also despite the sound is very happy and hyper the lyrics are very self-loathing and depict the disappointment Oli had with himself after relapsing during COVID. Just a not so fun fact.

13. AmEN! (feat, Lil Uzi Vert and Daryl Palumbo of Glassjaw)

The heaviest song on the album that was premiered live in my home country last year. I'm really disappointed I missed that and am still salty about it. Anyway this song is the same as Darkside for me, it's not a bad one, in fact, the old school BMTH fans will like this one the most, but for me it's not as exciting. I'd rather listen to the random bullshit they come up with than Oli trying to replicate Suicide Season style vocals which tore his throat up back then. But back to the song, it also grew a lot on me, the choir breakdown will always be fun and the lyrics have very much the Hospital of Souls kind of feel and edginess.

14. [ost] puss-e

Speaking of randomness, this one is about the female genitalia. it's an interlude (as every song beginning with [ost]). I think it's the biggest brain fart they had since the Music to Listen to... EP dropped. The callout before the breakbeat is literally: What would you do for pussy?. It's a random noisy shitshow that people will be mad about just like they were during the amo era but this is still unfathomably BMTH at their finest.

15. DiE4u

It's crazy to think about but this song came out almost 3 years ago, back when Survivor Horror had its album cycle and people were still mostly locked up in quarantine. The lyrics are about addiction again, not surprisingly and were inspired by Oli's relapse that I mentioned earlier. During COVID he made some very bad choices that lead him to get on ketamine for the first time since I think 2013 or so. This song is basically him singing to the drugs, it's a little fucked isn't it? It definitely didn't hold up as well as LoSt or AmEN because back in 2021 Oli was still trying to spread the idea he had about making a new genre called heavy pop. Well, some of his ideas are on the album so I guess he was successful.

16. Dig it

The closing track of this massive album and again we're back to the topic of self-hatred. Oli is again very disappointed in himself to a melody that is similar to Something in the Way by Nirvana. Maybe that was an inspiration, since that song also screams self-loathing. Then there's the modern pop drumbeat, but still the instrumentals are very lowkey, it's clear that the intention is to focus on the lyrics. The closure of the track gets heavy as usual and we hear Count Your Blessings era vocals again. There is even a little snippet at the very end after a little silence, that the AI playing the album failed which means the album is over.

Overall it's a great album, I think Oli and the band ended up with a terrific record, however I still miss Jordan's work on some of the songs. Maybe some ideas were scrapped, maybe even reworked at certain points but I'll always miss his handprint from now on I think. All of the fanbase will be happy with this record I guarantee it.

[hetalia-club]

GOT AU- Lore House Lannister

Other Houses: Targaryen Stark Greyjoy Lannister Tyrell

GOT vocab for non-watchers- Castamere- an extinct house/family, cousin to the Lannister family. Tried to rebel against the Lannister's. Their sigil was also a lion and their colors were Gold and Red instead of Red and Gold. The house was an off shoot of the Lannister's. Warden- the head of one of these areas; North, South, East and West. They are the law makers here, they answer to the King and carry out the Kings justice for him. They are in control of all the lesser and major houses here, those houses are their bannermen that they can call to war with just one message from a raven. Westeros- The name of the continent they all live on Master of Coin- the kings treasure and book keeper. Is in charge of finding money for parties, war and anything else the King wants to do. This could be cashing in favors, taking loans or taxing it.

House Lannister for non GOT watchers- The Lannister's the Wardens of the West and are an extremely powerful house. Both with man power and mostly MONEY. They are the richest house in the lands. They have more money than the King does. This is because their castle, Casterly Rock, sits on top a literal gold mine. They are known for their beautiful Golden hair. Not all Lannisters have it but it is their trademark. They are known to be a scheming people. They only join wars if there is something it it for them. Oh what's that? They promised 3 years ago that if your was house attacked that they would lend you money and man power? Well that was 3 years ago buddy new year new me, sounds like a you problem. We can't mention the lore of the Lannister's without mentioning the Castameres. A house that rebelled against the rule of the Lannister's as wardens of the West. They were the cousin house to the Lannister's, their sigils was also a lion and their colors were Gold and Red instead of Red and Gold. But to answer for their rebellion The Lannister's killed every single Castamere and burned their castle to the ground. They explain it all in the diss track they wrote about it in this bard song here. If you hear a bard strumming this song in the corner of a tavern you're already dead. Their house words are "hear me roar" but they don't really care for them and their unofficial words are "A Lannister always pay their debts." Which means they always get even. Either in the positive way or negative. Say you gave a Lannister 10 gold pieces once like 5 years ago. He won't forget it. Maybe you're about to be stabbed in a tavern and then the killer is suddenly shot with a bow by some street urchin child who tells you "The Lannister's always pay their debts" and then he books it from the bar never to be seen again. On the other hand if you wronged a Lannister the last words you may ever hear will be "The Lannister's send their regards" They pay their debts and they do it tenfold. So as you can see the last words of the song "And now the reins weep o'er his hall, with not a soul to hear" They got even. You do not cross the Lannister's and get away with it. maybe not today, not tomorrow, but they will pay their debts and when they do you and your whole family must suffer. They are not my favorite house but I do find their inner-workings and mindset very interesting.

^^ Concept Art for Casterly Rock

Lannister Family Tree

Alfred Lannister- The young Lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West. His father had him very late in life and died of old age leaving Alfred as the Lord of Casterly rock since he was only 8. He's 15 now, and is old hat at being a Lord. It's all he's ever known really. And he's pretty good at it to.

Ludwig Lannister- The uncle of Alfred & Matthew. He was their Lord father's little brother and he ruled as Lord in Alfred's place until he came of age, making all the big decisions. He also taught Alfred how to be a good Lord but more importantly what it means to be a lion. He raised both Alfred and Matthew as his own sons. He trained them himself to be Knights and ready for anything.

Mathias Lannister- Ludwig's actual son and Alfred's cousin. He's their older cousin, and he is a knight. He's a battle master he knows everything about warfare and has even led the vanguard in battles before. He is very capable. He competes in a lot of tourneys and has won his fair share of jousts. He is said to be the greatest sword in all of Westeros. Granted he is said to be the best. That does not necessarily mean he is.

Matthew Lannister- Matthew is 15 same as his twin brother obviously. He gets annoyed because since his brother is the Lord he gets over shadowed a lot. But because of that he has dreams of making his own path. He wants to join the Kings Guard after he gets knighted.

Yao Lannister- Yao is Alfred's uncle and is Older than Ludwig but Younger than Alfred's father. Yao lives in Kings Landing where he has a seat on teh small council and acts as the Kings Master of Coin.

Raivis Lannister- The son of Yao Lannister. Lives in the Red Keep in Kings Landing with his parents. He is good friends with the Princess since they are around the same age. He wants to be a smith some day even if it's not a job for a high born he's fascinated with weapons and how they are made.

[innershoesuitcasebiscuit]

I'm scared, in fact I'm terrified that now I have realized I am actually losing interest in watching animes.

When I was in my teenage years, I would always search for anime to watch but, the me today prefer the classic anime over new ones.

Daily there are a lot of anime being released and a lot of manga being published. I kinda find it bland anymore and feel like it's creating a mainstream story and the purpose of shocking (ex. killing every character they've created) people to get a lot of attention.

But here's the list of animes I've watched so far that I love and the reason why I've watched them.

I love all of them but I do have certain favorite. So I'm listing them from most love.

1. Blood + - Once upon a time we all had obsessions with vampires and I prefer this over twilight.

2. Tokyo Ghoul - My friend recommended it to me and I love it. I love how Tokyo Ghoul shows us the two sides of the coin and well the pov of a human turned to ghoul.

3. Helsing - once again same reason as above and because I love the opening song.

4. One Piece - my uncle made me watch it as a kid (it was a morning anime show). I stopped watching it for years after Ace's death but resume watching it after I miss Luffy's laugh.

5. Dragon Ball - every child should have watched it. I don't care if anyone said it's overrated but everything that influences us in our childhood is f*cking great. Plus I don't know why I was watching it by the time that I have awareness of the world it has already been in carved in my heart that I love it (more like my brother made me watch it when I was just a baby).

6. Yu yu Hakusho/Ghost Fighter - same reason as dragon ball. Plus I have a soft spot for Kurama 😍.

7. Overlord - I love this anime, everyone might say it's too bland but as a gamer especially an rpg and mmorpg gamer I love seeing the pov of an enemy boss.

8. Demon Slayer - I love the art style and the story, in my opinion the anime and the manga was too rushed but Demon Slayer in my opinion has the best ending and characters. You can't help but love Tanjiro (the kindest mc that I ever knew).

9. Slam Dunk - my uncle made me watch it. I love how the discussion with my friends would be involved with "Have the ball passed through the net yet?", "I think by friday it's going to pass it" 🤣.

10. Full Metal Alchemist - it was a morning show anime. I've watched it every morning and I was hooked by it (I love science and theories once again the INTP in me is grinding it's gears when I watch this). I also think the phrase "Equivalent Exchange". I would quote it like its a cool motto.

These are the top ten, I also love Hunter x Hunter, Naruto (sorry for Boruto fans but I hated the sequel), Shaman King, Flame of Recca and Records of Ragnarok.

I also read a manga "Shut Hell" that for me was underrated by everyone and that it deserves an anime but I guess it's too gruesome to be made one but I was reminded of Berserk and I think its unfair.

Aside from that I actually dropped a lot of anime. Though a recommendation wouldn't hurt.

[feelkindadizzy]

[English ID (the dialogue has been loosely translated from french to english): A gifset of a Kaeloo episode. 1. Badka yelling "Hello friends!". 2. Stumpy, Quack-Quack and Mr Cat are blow away by his yelling and are shouting in fear. Once it’s over, Mr Cat says "Oh yeah…" while Badka is bashful. 3. Kaeloo transforms back, then says "Friends, today we’re gonna play...". 4. Mr Cat is sulking afar and says : "Oh no…". Kaeloo brings up a picture of Badka and says "With Badka!". Mr Cat gets close to her in an instant and says "Ah! Very well.". 5.Kaeloo: "Me and Badka are trying to get along better. It’s not easy, but a good game can help out." 6. Mr Cat, while putting on a black bow tie: "Absolutely." 7. Kaeloo, very seriously: "Finally, Mr Cat… You are obviously forbidden from hurting Quack Quack!" 8.Mr Chat does a vocal warm-up, then asks : "And our guest, when does he play?". 9.Badka calls out Kaeloo: "Huh?". Kaeloo answers : "We agreed I would go first. Be patient, your time will come." 10. Mr Chat, waving a flower bouquet : "I’m skipping my turn. I’m waiting for the toad." Stumpy and uQack-Quack look at him with eyes wide open. Gay flags and questions marks have been added on top of them. 11. Kaeloo’s arms become long and soft, she yells. Stumpy takes up one of her arms and shouts : "Ah ! Gross !" 12. Mr Cat : "We’re loosing time there! If we want the toad to play, we need to speed things up." He runs up to the wall and counts : "One..."13. Quack-Quack blown up to the ground, and touching the wall with his finger. Mr Cat : "Alright! The duck won. Time to bring the toad in." 14. Badka, to Kaeloo: "Hey ! It’s my time to play!". Kaeloo : "Yes, I know! It was supposed to be your turn but now is not the time !"15. Mr Cat, to the Rules : "Thinggumabob! Froggy said she would trade places with the toad. She’s not doing it! It deserves a forfeit, right ?" The Rules has a gay flag and an interrogation point on top of her. 16. Mr Cat jumps towards Badka whith his flower bouquet in his hand. Kaeloo transforms back and shouts "Red light!", and instead of touching Badka, Mr Cat crash into the wall. Kaeloo and Badka laugh. / END ID]

[Description d'image: Une série de gif de la série Kaeloo. 1. Badka criant "Bonjour les amis!". 2. Moignon, Coin-Coin et Mr Chat sont dans un canapé et se prennent la violence du cri dans la tête et crient. Mr Chat est tout content, et une fois que c’est fini il dit "Oh ouais…" pendant que Badka est tout timide. 3. Kaeloo se détransforme, puis dit "Les amis, aujourd’hui nous allons jouer…". 4. Mr Chat boude au loin et dit : "Oh non…". Kaeloo prend un panneau avec une photo de Badka dessus et dit "Avec Badka!". Mr Chat s’approche immédiatement et dit "Ah! Très bien.". 5.Kaeloo: "Nous essayons de mieux nous entendre Badka et moi. C’est pas facile, mais un bon jeu peut faciliter les choses." 6. Mr Chat, en mettant un noeud papillon noir: "Absolument." 7. Kaeloo, très sérieuse: "Enfin, Mr Chat… Il vous est évidemment interdit de faire bobo à Coin-Coin ! 8.Mr Chat vocalise, puis demande : "Et notre invité, il joue quand?". 9.Badka interpelle Kaeloo: "Huh?". Kaeloo lui répond : "On a dit que je commençais. Un peu de patience, ton tour viendra." 10. Mr Chat, brandissant un bouquet de fleurs : "Moi, je passe mon tour. J’attends le crapaud." Moignon et Coin-Coin le regardent avec des grand yeux. Des drapeaux gays et des points d’interrogation ont été rajouté au dessus de leurs têtes. 11. Les bras de Kaeloo deviennent tous longs et mous, elle crie. Moignon prend un de ses bras et crie : "Ah ! Dégueu !" 12. Mr Chat : "On perd du temps là! Si on veut que le crapaud joue, faut passer la seconde." Il se met à un mur et commence : "Un..."13. Coin-Coin explosé au sol qui touche le mur du bout du doigt. Mr Chat : "Bon ! Le canard à gagné. C’est le moment de faire rentrer le crapaud !" 14. Badka, a Kaeloo: "Hé ! A moi de jouer !". Kaeloo : "Oui, je sais ! Ça devrait être ton tour mais c’est pas le moment ! 15. Mr Chat, à la Règle : "Le bidule ! La grenouille a dit qu’elle laisserait sa place au crapaud. Elle le fait pas ! Ca vaut bien un gage ça non ?" La règle a un drapeau gay et un point d’interrogation au dessus d’elle. 16. Mr Chat s’élance vers Badka bouquet à la main. Kaeloo se transforme et crie "Soleil !", et au lieu de toucher Badka, Mr Chat s’excrase au mur. Kaeloo et Badka rigolent. / Fin de la description]

[ID: A green line divider /END ID]

[english] mr cat really said "alright this season i'm CLASSY about my crush, i will stop barking and drooling and i WILL impress him by wearing a fruity lil bow tie and bringing nice flowers just for him"

...so somehow they managed to make mr cat gayer than before??? impressive feat, kaeloo season 5 we're not even 7 minutes in and you're already so damn great 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[french] mr chat a vraiment fait "ok dans cette saison je suis CLASSE a propos de mon crush, je vais arrêter de lui aboyer et lui baver dessus et je vais l'IMPRESSIONER en portant un ptit nœud pap' et en lui apportant des jolies fleurs rien que pour lui"

...contre toute attente iels ont réussi à rendre mr chat encore plus gay qu'avant??? très impressionant, kaeloo saison 5 ça fait même pas 7 minutes que tu as commencé et tu es déjà incroyable 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈