#Tinfoil Candy

[brandonjohnbarnard]

Production history around: Tinguely Feeling

Tinguely Feeling was one of the most complicated projects I have done so far. The seed of this idea was originally planted in June of 2024, when I started reading into Nouveau réalisme. Jumping down rabbit hole after rabbit hole eventually dropped me onto a page about Jean Tinguely and Métamatics.

Métamatics was a series of works started in the 1950s which used robots and automation to create works of art. Often, these works would use chance elements, meaning that each work created by these machines was unique in some capacity, with interesting results being churned out.

That really simplifies it, though. There were pieces that exploded, many water fountains, and pieces that evoked many of the themes that Duchamp’s readymades did as well. I really recommend reading further into the topic yourself.

At this point, I was still on a DADA high, so the similarities between the areas was compelling to me too.

I was really drawn in by many of the points made with Métamatics, and how they parallel a lot of the arguments currently around AI art and ownership, creativity, and the ‘soul’ present in art.

Métamatics also explores an aspect of chance which I am very interested in: destruction. Often Tinguely’s machines would destroy themselves in the process of being shown off, with this being part of the performance. Homage to New York (1960) and Study for an End of the World №2 (1962) are both examples of this.

I had explored destruction before with Eggistential, but like most chance investigations I want to explore them all more thoroughly. This destruction aspect of Métamatics influenced the dancing stages in the film having debris that got knocked around everywhere, like the buttons, rice, and sea glass.

It was also inspired by the works of Robert Morris, like his untitled 1968 piece. The way the work fell was inspired by chance, further amplified by the actions of non-human actors, which I thought was a fun idea.

This film is also an offshoot of my exploration into non-human agency. Previously I had explored that idea with animals in ‘Doggy Style’, with its medium article explaining the reasoning.

Having the robots decide what the narrative of the piece ending up being was actually a lot more fun that I expected, and not nearly as stressful. The robots did actions which would have been so difficult to plan, but ended up being the heart of the piece. Them dancing in the ring, both falling over at the same time. The comedy they brought was great. In a way, it feels similar to improv.

A week after this reading into Tinguely (July, 2024), I found a cosmojetz wind-up toy, created by the company Kikkerland, at the Children’s Hospice charity shop on Mutley. At that moment, I knew what I was making next.

This led me down the path of trying to see if I could learn more about these Kikkerland robots. I learned way more about the designer, how many robot variants and colours there were, and also about how hard they were to acquire on the second-hand market. The UK and Europe do not have many available compared to the USA.

I ended up getting: a pink Pea, a Cosmojetz, a Pintacuda, a Cranky, and two Katitas. I still look occasionally to see if any are listed, as they are fun to collect and play with.

Originally, I wanted to merge this Kikkerland robot idea with a separate found object idea. I used to regularly litter pick in Plymouth (this stopped after I got my dog Toffee — not enough hands when walking), and while litter picking, I would find people’s faces. Torn up IDs, polaroid pictures, key charms, etc. I saved these oddities, among others, as it was something fun to do. I was thinking of sticking these face to the robots to add a weird ‘look where you ended up’ type of energy to the film. The main one I wanted to use was found in 2021 at Freedom Fields Park.

Though, the robots moved around too chaotically for this to work, and I also worried about privacy concerns.

I bought the walking robots from Cancer UK charity shops. These were Halloween themed since it was October. I bought 2 of them, thinking I may use them for something. Early on in production, I wanted there to be some purity of only using Kikkerland robots, though this waned over time. After playing with them, decided to buy many more.

These robots meant the idea of attaching faces to the non-human actors came back, but in a different way.

The nodding sunlight cat was bought in Japan, back in April of 2024 during my honeymoon (when Gacha’nce was filmed). The cat normally sits on my wife’s desk, agreeing with everything she says.

Originally, I wanted the robots (bugs) to be dancing around in a vase. I bought one and tested it out, and while the sound was cool, it didn’t really have further directions it could have gone (feel free to play with the idea and prove me wrong).

The rule of three was there in the beginning, in terms of there being 3 dances, and 3 skits. Also, having a wind-up phase, a release, and the slow down captures was thought of near the beginning as well.

Recently, I have been thinking more about visualising chance, and why film is a good mechanism for its capture.

With an explosion, what do you capture? The object before it explodes? Well, that’s just an object. After, it is just a mess on the floor. In the middle, it is neither a mess, nor an item. There is no semblance of what type of transformation took place, just that one is taking place. That’s why I think its best to show pre-prompt, prompt, and post-prompt.

As such, I wanted to capture the wind up, the placement, the movement, and the eventual stop.

Before filming, one of my major initial stresses was trying to figure out where the dance scene going to take place. I decided on using a shelf in one of our under-used rooms.

It’s funny how engaging in an activity can transform a space for ever. Now whenever I see this shelf, I think about the film. The film transformed a mundane part of my life into something special. This is a reoccurring aspect of my filmmaking journey.

My wife and I had just finished watching Twin Peaks, so creating a red room felt like a fun idea. I’m very happy with how the curtains turned out.

I also wanted to reference my other films in some capacity. So, I made one of the rooms tinfoil and M&Ms to match Tinfoil Candy. I was also going to have a scene with the dogs that called back to ‘Doggy Style’, but I changed my mind as I worried about the robots either scaring or hurting the dogs.

Though, after making Disseminate, and how many self-references that had to my practice, I decided to tone back other ideas, and rather create something more original.

All of the buttons were a last-minute find, from the Barnardo’s charity shop in Armada Way. I really like how the robots kick the buttons around.

The Pintacuda robot (we called it the Snitch) broke during the dance. Interesting to think about items breaking mid-production as a chance event. It also echoes back to Tinguely’s robot’s destroying themselves mid-performance.

I knew I wanted to do three skits, but really struggled on finalising the final one. I knew that the boxing scene would look iconic, and that the painting scene would be a mess/potentially break a robot, so doing the former scene first was a priority.

Robot wars was an inspiration: gameshows where two robots would be put in a ring, and the last one to survive would be the victor. I used to watch these shows a lot as a kid, and they really stuck with me.

As a side note, I love that in robot battle events, often a ramp is the most powerful piece of offensive tech. The ability to wedge and flip. It does feel kind of judo in a way.

Seeing how crazy the Kikkerland robots looked bouncing around, I thought they could easily do a faux clash in the middle of a ring.

Making the ring was not too difficult. It was, and still is, a box which is being used to store some anime figurines. Madoka Magika x Bakemonogatari figures to be specific. The idea that they are hiding under the ring while the battle is taking place is kind of funny. I stuck some cut up sosatie (kebab) sticks into the corners, and surrounded them with string.

Someone on one of the Discord servers I frequent said that the boxing scene reminded them of Raging Bull but in colour. Another friend, Ocean, made a comment that when the boxers started holding hands, and going around in circles that it evoked thoughts of yin and yang.

I love these accidental associations people are making from my works — that they poke the brain and something else falls out.

As can be seen in the film, my original plan of using Kikkerland robots for the boxing scene failed dramatically. They instantly shot off and got stuck in the ropes. So, from this I decided to use the walking robots instead. Seeing how well they did instead of the Kikkerland robots are what inspired the marathon scene, as well as broke me away from the idea of having the film being so ‘one type of robot’ oriented.

The participants of the marathon, from left to right, were Isobel (my wife), me, my friends Zoe and Louis, Chico Bicalho (Kikkerland robot designer), my dogs Toffee and Noodle, my PhD supervisor Dylan Yamada-Rice, and the creator of Métamatics and namesake of the film, Jean Tinguely.

Getting them all to stand at once and not run off from the starring line was quite difficult. I tired many times to somehow hold them all at once by myself but failed. So, my wife helped me with it the moment she came in the door from work (sorry hun, and thanks!).

My robot winning at the end was not planned at all — I feel like it actually looks quite bad! I did consider re-running the race to avoid this, but that would be completely against my ethos of embracing chance, so it is what it is.

I wanted to do this since the start. An homage to Tinguely’s own drawing robots, as well as a homage to many of the chance methods I have learnt about so far being focused on mediums like painting more broadly.

The moment where the one robot would not walk is so funny. They got stuck to the paint, which I guess completely countered their mechanics.

The ending of the film was the cherry on top in my opinion. Hanging a painting to say, ��it’s done!’ is such a fun way to end something. The painting is a permanent fixture in our home now.

Originally, we wanted to use a music box as the backing of the piece. We bought a Kikkerland make-your-own-music box kit, and were working on producing our own three songs for the piece. This mechanical energy, and the doubling down on the Kikkerland brand I thought would be fun. Though, the energy of the songs produced did not match the fast energy I wanted from the robots dancing around.

For the dancing scenes, I ended up using the song Den Wölfen by Fania_Katz. I really like its chaotic energy, and it has elements which remind me of older machines twirling. Beeps and boops.

A note I got from my friend Abi has stuck with me a bit: “love that in all your films you have a distinct aesthetic and vision 😊 you’re really consistent with your work”. A week before posting Tinguely Feeling, I did a talk, and one of the lecturers after came up to me and said my works all have a cohesion to them, a shared style. This has been something I have thought about a bit. What are the hallmarks of my films. What is that intangible energy that I leave behind?

[nenoname]

Details in Stan's letter that still haunt me

(how long will I continue thinking about a two page letter that's technically not even that long because Stan's handwriting is fricking large? .....you don't need to worry about that.)

The bro code only shows up in the Lost Journal pages, and to me Stan's message feels like it purposely echoes Ford's "miss you" in the college photo (and for some reason the message doesn't appear in the website version of the photo?) ....or alternatively Stan simply noticed how distressed Ford was about this entire thing and wanted to support him in a way so he can be sappy but without the kids knowing, or both!

Stan's claim about the Oregon lottery contradicts what the Lost Legends website said about Tate McGucket's ability to predict the winning numbers!! ...but also breaking into the Lottery HQ is definitely a very Stan thing to do and it's not the first time small gags have been retconned

Despite spending most of his letter nonchalantly destroying him, the taunt about ripping a dollar bill in half is the only part where Stan is directly responding to Bill. Maybe it's the two of them having similar ways of thinking but it's rather specific considering Bill taunts the reader about it...

And after Bill spends an entire book calling Ford Sixer despite normally using a pretty wide range of nicknames for him, Stan then spends his letter mainly referring to Ford as Sixer, even though post-Weirdmageddon he tends to use a mix of nicknames. And it's not like he'd gotten to see Bill himself for long, let alone see him steal that childhood nickname (that is only used twice in the actual show btw!). Did Ford tell him what happened or...?

With all this and the website's "still on your mind" message, what I'm getting at is my tinfoil hat theory of Stan somehow seeing some of the pages the irl readers saw, even when it should be personalised to the specific reader, and he's been lying about it for some reason. Considering that the book flat out doesn't make an attempt at convincing Soos, I find it a stretch that whatever Bill was telling Stan via the book was an attempt to convince him either.

Wouldn't be the first time Stan's skimmed through a book and lied about what it meant to him.

(...Now I kinda wanna see a story about the family reading their versions of the book and making fun of it while Stan is improvising every single one of his pages and blatantly ignoring Bill's attempts to mock and taunt him)

But also I'm fascinated by the letters that only showed up on the website (aka the Soos+Wendy+McGucket+Pacifica ones). I'm assuming that Mabel had stuck them on after Stan's letter... but they were basically eaten by the book itself because seeing Stan's letter kick-started Bill's breakdown which takes up the rest of the book

[paradubolical]

it's that time again

here's how to make alcohol at home

recipe under the cut. it's long. I warned you.

FOREWARD:

I do not endorse regular substance abuse or at-home distillation without proper training. Don’t hit your kids. Don’t blow up your house. It’s okay to eat shit and die, like, once every three months, not every two weeks, not every weekend. If you’re doing that, there’s not much I can do to help or give in way of advice. But this recipe is not for you. And you should reconsider some stuff if you haven’t already.

That being said.

The following is my personal method for brewing beer, mead, wine, etc. I have utilized this method many times and it has worked wonderfully. I have achieved up to 15% proof. This means that the substance you create should be perfectly drinkable and safe if you follow the instructions and use your head. HOWEVER. You should be prepared to read this whole document before making anything. There are warnings and safety precautions you need to take, and I don’t want anyone to get botulism of some shit because of a shoddy recipe that doesn’t explain absolutely everything.

I also do not encourage the practice of distillation at home. This is not because it is illegal. For those unaware, distillation is the semi-complicated process of heating alcohol to produce hard liquors. While it may sound fun to make Smirnoff from home, there is a reason we do not. Alcohol is extremely flammable. You will set yourself or your valuables on fire.

Ingredients:

1 Packet ActiveDry Yeast

1 Cup Sugar or 1 Cup Sugar Equivalent*

⅔ Gallon Water

Supplies:

1 Gallon Container

1 Suitable Cork or Lid**

3-4 Ballons, Latex Gloves, or even condoms will do honestly***

IMPORTANT:

You must have a space prepared ahead of time to store the JFCB while it brews. Remember. It will stink like hell. Anyone who smells it will know it’s alcohol. Use your noggin okay

NOTES:

*

In simple terms, alcohol is created when yeast eats sugar. You can use pretty much anything sugary. Don’t use chocolate unless you want to die.

I like to use those strawberry-flavored grandma hard candies. The stuff they make is super fucking strong and tastes like god himself descended from the heavens to kick your ass. It makes what I like to call the JFCB. It’s high-proof enough to burn your throat. So, you know, try to moderate.

**

You need something to seal the container with once you’re done. Pick wisely.

***

It’s gotta be something that can form a seal around the lip of the container, but also expand like a balloon. These are some of the things I’ve found work best.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Creating the Base

Take your 1-Gallon Container and fill it with half the packet of ActiveDry yeast. You don’t need all of it. Trust me on this one.

Pour in your 1 Cup Sugar or Equivalent.

Pour in the ⅔ Gallon of Water.

Either whisk or mix vigorously. When it starts foaming, you’re done.

Stage 1

Put the Balloon/Latex/Condom over the lip of the container. Make sure it’s secure and extremely tight, but there’s plenty of room for air to fill.

Find your designated Place to Put It. This should be somewhere nobody’s gonna smell it, and also somewhere nobody’s gonna go for the next three odd months.

Set your shit down.

Wait 2-3 weeks.

Stage 2

After 2-3 weeks, the alcohol should stop emitting gas. At this point, it’s safe to cork. Don’t do it beforehand or the container will explode.

I like to put some hot glue or wax over the lip just to make sure it’s sealed extra well. I sometimes put tinfoil too. It doesn’t actually help anything, just looks fancy.

Find somewhere nice to store it. Make sure it’s right side up. Odds are you sealed it pretty poorly if it’s your first time, and you’re gonna be in deep shit if it starts to smell.

If it does, that means you corked it too early. Move it back to your Place to Put It for like a month. Recork it after that time’s up. It might be difficult, but you’re smart. You can do it. It should be good to go after that.

And there you have it. A nice bottle of…. Something?

Enjoy. Or just leave it to sit.

FAQ:

Q: I’m worried about getting botulism from this shit. Is it really safe?

A: Usually, people don’t get botulism. My rule of thumb is that if it smells like shit you should really just throw it away. If you’re really worried, I’d also recommend throwing it away. The paranoia’s not worth it.

Q: I’m a minor. Should I try this at home?

A: Probably not. I’m a minor too, so fuck’s to say what my opinion’s worth.

Q: I want to try vodka/scotch/whiskey. What should I do?

A: You should just not. Or buy it at the store. I don’t know man i’m not the all-seeing eye

Q: I’ve heard you need an airlock for this. Do you need an airlock for this?

A: Absolutely fucking not. They are feeding you airlock propaganda. You don’t need an airlock.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

things that remind me of the nerdy prudes

(because like two people reblogged this one i did forever ago for the losers and i forgot how fun these are)

grace:

getting veggie tales songs stuck in your head as an adult, knee socks, eating all your broccoli, sparkly butterfly clips, watching sunlight glint off a lake through the treeline, guinea pigs, friendship bracelets off a water bottle, being secretly glad when someone you don’t like turns out to be a bad person, a bunch of cellophane candy wrappers crinkling at the bottom of your purse, being a little too into archery at summer camp, pastel bible highlighters, banana pancakes, tying way too many ribbons around the advent wreath, leggings under dresses, daydreaming about how you’d escape if you ever got kidnapped, strawberry ice cream, roller skating with almost too much protective gear on, cloud gazing, obvious family secrets that everyone refuses to tell you, feeling weirdly guilty for ordering your steak rare, bringing too many swaps to girl scout camp so you can trade with everyone, asking a new friend for their email address, long denim skirts

steph:

really dry liquid lipstick you bought in your freshman year of high school but refuse to throw out, 24 hour diners, typing in all lowercase but never actually changing the setting in your phone, listening to music you hate but gaslighting yourself until you enjoy it, really dark purple nail polish that looks black, collecting crystals even though you don’t really believe in them, saying your team bella (but secretly being team jacob), getting mad your vape was confiscated at your high school graduation, one million rings, coffee ice cream, tinfoil in a microwave, exclusively wearing sports bras, shoplifting, pink monster, thinking cigarettes are really hot, never wearing a jacket even if your cold, penny boarding, drinking four loko, regretting four loko, refusing to put your hair up even when you really should, kuromi, half fallen down led lights, playing your mom’s old guitar, sour skittles

pete:

planetariums, being overly competitive at board games, ginger ale, using a chapstick until it runs out, really liking marshmallows, really liking hot chocolate, hating marshmallows in your hot chocolate, buying a bunch of cool notebooks and never using them, forever dm, pretending you didn’t find asdf movies as funny as you actually did, m&ms, freezing cold hands, hand-me-down sweaters, only ordering chicken fingers and french fries, being intrinsically trusted by cats, carrying a clarinet to school every day, skipping episodes of next gen if they don’t feature data, praying on the first day of school that your teachers didn’t have your older sibling, transition glasses lenses (that you absolutely regret), dry krave cereal, secretly finding most museums really boring, grow-your-own-geode science kits, wing tip tap shoes, messenger bags, only doing extracurriculars that look good on college applications

ruth:

your comfort gay newsies fanfiction from middle school, being jealous of your younger sibling, those phone cases with glitter and charms floating in water, team edward and team jacob, wishing you hadn’t quit dance, buying fun jewelry and never wearing it, being devastated your hair is too dark to dip dye in kool aid, sticky lip gloss, painting every nail a different color, self sabotage, crushed velvet scrunchies, the grease soundtrack, wanting to be a rockette when you grew up, never learning how to do make up, begging to do figure skating as a kid, begging to do beauty pageants as a kid, begging to do cheerleading as a kid, turquoise braces bands, sinclair gas stations, showing up to an audition that you didn’t realize had a dance call, dunkin’ donuts munchkins, squirrel girl comic books, one half of a best friend necklace you wore longer than you should have

richie:

trying to get the marble out of a ramune bottle, wearing big headphones 24/7 (even if they aren’t playing anything), staining your best friend’s bathtub blue with hair dye, sour patch kids, enamel pins, discord calls across like three different time zones, the charlie bone book series, getting in trouble for drawing in class, being the friend with a car but also being a terrible driver, a pokémon card binder, that one kid who was really, really good at cup stacking, wearing shorts in the middle of winter, thirty-nine minute long voice memos, being exceptional at claw machines, vocaloid songs, your pet parakeet hanging out on top of your head, that one vaguely traumatizing round of the pocky game from seventh grade, regularly broken duolingo streaks, getting in trouble for bringing a real katana to your freshman year halloween dance

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Gingerbread Disaster (Serena van der Woodsen x gn reader)

Summary: decorating a gingerbread house together doesn't go quite as planned

Warnings: brief mention to Serena's addictions but other than that just fluff <3 (I mean she acts like a bit of a spoiled brat here but that's her canon personality so 🤷 I still love her though I swear)

A/N: holiday fluff with a gossip girl character? who knew? (I did I just decided to keep it a secret hehe)

"Serena, stop eating all the candy. We're supposed to be using them to decorate with."

The blonde responded by giving you a playful pout, unwrapping yet another piece of the tinfoil-covered chocolate you were supposed to be using as decoration on your gingerbread house before popping it into her mouth. You knew she was doing it just to spite you, the spoiled brat. "Now, why would I ever want to do that?"

It was hard for you not to roll your eyes in response. Of course the resident It Girl of Manhattan would neglect to listen to you in even the most domestic of circumstances.

"Besides, it's much more fun this way. I get to eat the candy and watch while you get to decorate."

"We're supposed to be decorating the gingerbread house together," you reminded in a tone that was laced with the faintest hint of irritation.

She did the only rational thing that she could think to do in this situation, and that was swiping her finger along the icing you'd so meticulously piped along the gingerbread roof and placing it on the tip of your nose. "I think we'd both have much more fun if you let loose a little."

"You did not just place icing on my nose," you exclaimed, the trim you were piping on the house's tiny door momentarily forgotten.

She let out a loud, boisterous laugh at your reaction. "Oh, come on, it's funny! You should just see the look on your face," she teased while wrapping her arms around you.

Normally you'd be willing to let something like that slide, but since she seemed to be oh so eager to play games with you it wouldn't hurt to play one right back, would it?

Too caught up in her fit of giggles at your current misfortunes (the ones that she'd caused, might I remind you) she didn't even notice you turning the piping bag full of icing in her direction until you'd already squirted her with it. Serena's laughter was cut off as soon as the icing hit her in the face, landing on her forehead and dripping down onto her nose. "Oh my God, I think you got some in my hair."

It was hard to hold back laughter of your own at the sight in front of you. Sure, she was known to have a few messy benders, but there was a difference between being hopped up on drugs and alcohol and being covered in gingerbread house icing.

"You are going to pay for that, I swear." Her words held no real malice when she spoke, that much was obvious by the growing smile on her face.

"You'll have to catch me first," you retorted while ducking out of her grasp and scurrying away to the other side of the kitchen, piping bag still in hand. It was just your luck that there happened to be another icing bag still sitting out, the one that she was supposed to have used to help decorate with.

The kitchen was filled with the sounds of delighted squeals and surprised shrieks as you "fought" each other with the icing still left in the bags until there was none left. By the time you'd both calmed back down again (naturally this was after running out of icing to attack each other with) there was icing all over the counters, the cabinets, the floors, and you. Basically it had gotten everywhere but on the gingerbread house, which was where it was supposed to be going in the first place.

This time you didn't scold Serena when she wanted to eat the rest of the decorative candy, though it was safe to say Lily wasn't going to be letting either one of you back into her kitchen anytime soon.

End notes: this is super duper early but I wanted to get started on some fics for the holiday season! (I wrote this back in October btw) this was also my first time writing for serena so I hope I did okay

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[righteous-r0de0]

surprise surprise i have more useless headcanons :)

vincent plays a lot of different instruments at varying skill levels (french horn and cello are his favorites). william made him learn in an effort to reinvigorate his zest for life after being turned

after ivan’s memories were changed he fell into a really deep depression and always felt guilty and he just didn’t know why

angel got david hooked on jane the virgin. he was team michael but his favorite character is alma (jane’s grandmother)

caelum’s favorite food his spaghetti. he always makes a huge mess, so gav and freelancer circumvent this (kinda) by doing that thing where you wrap the table in cling wrap or tinfoil and forgo plates and silverware

gavin trip sits for the rest of the damn crew when they smoke. he only messes with damien a little bit

lasko is NOT a lightweight but he is a weepy drunk (ie “i just love you guys so much” absolutely sobbing)

damien gets so silly when he’s sleep deprived, laughing at everything, making dirty jokes etc

kody bleached his hair and freelancer didn’t recognize him until they were practically right next to him

huxley gets very grumpy when he’s sleep deprived, whining, crossing his arms, frowning. he doesn’t yell or anything but you just KNOW when he’s tired

if you put anything green apple flavored in front of asher, he’s absolutely tearing it up

james loves indian food. his local place always asks after him whenever his spouse orders when they miss him a lot

marcus majored in game design, but later switched to computer science and programming. he also really liked geology

anton really likes half and half (iced tea/lemonade)

ollie looks like he listens to classic white girl pop or something similar but you pull his airpods out and he’s actually listening to either heavy metal or very disturbing true crime podcasts

elliot can swing dance

brachium erased even the memories of him from sunshine, elliot, aaron, and smartass

avior loves soups and stews any kind of food he can drink

milo loves hot chip (takis, hot cheetos, doritos) they make his nose run but he can’t stop

camelopardalis is a cat person

blake wanted to be a firefighter when he was a kid, but it changed when he met bestie. after that his only aspiration was to be theirs.

if aaron is given the option of sausage or bacon, he’s choosing bacon

sam can sew a little bit like mending seams and patching holes

vega doesn’t like human food. he thinks it’s strange. but he does like cheesecake.

regulus used to really enjoy cereal

geordi’s favorite fruit is bananas

guy LOVES bo burnham

morgan is really good at point and shoot games. it’s nothing to do with the sight or anything, they’re just his favorite

hush really likes chocolate and chocolate flavored things

porter’s favorite candy is reese’s peanut butter cups dude is a fiend for them

[rottenpumpkin13]

Angeal wants to host a potluck for his boyfriends friends. He only asks that the boys actually try and put some effort into their dishes.

Because of our baby's latest obsession, Angeal specifically asks Sephiroth to avoid bringing Halloween candy.

He begs asks Zack to not bring a family sized box of Hot Pockets.

What do AGS + ZC bring to the table? How does the actual potluck go?

Chaos obviously ensues, by the way.

The Potluck From Hell

• Even though he's organizing it, Angeal's making sure to over-contribute to the potluck! You know, just in case.

�� He's got apple sausage sliders for Genesis, Bolognese pasta for Sephiroth, beef stroganoff for Zack and schnitzel for Cloud. He trusts his friends will follow suit and contribute with their own fun dishes.

• He was wrong.

*Angeal stands in his doorway looking at Sephiroth, who holds a jack-o'-lantern-themed bowl full of candy*

Angeal: Sephiroth no.

Sephiroth: Sephiroth yes.

Angeal: A bowl of candy does not count as a dish.

Sephiroth: But it's food. It's edible.

Angeal: It's pure sugar. I asked you to bring a meal.

Sephiroth: This is a meal.

Angeal: Says who?

Sephiroth: Says the last eight meals I've eaten.

Angeal: YOU'VE BEEN EATING NOTHING BUT CANDY FOR TWO DAYS?

Sephiroth: .....Maybe.

Angeal: Give me that! *he snatches the bowl away from him* Go and come back with an actual dish!

*Angeal slams the door in Sephiroth's face*

• Angeal, still fuming, is prepping the table when he hears his doorbell ring again. He rushes to answer it. Zack and Cloud stand there holding huge taco trays.

Zack: Mexican fiesta!

Cloud: I've been living a nightmare since last night.

Angeal: Why?

Zack: Mexican fiesta!

Cloud: We were up all night making the tacos, right?

Angeal: Right.

Zack: Mexican fiesta!

Cloud: And I already had reservations about going down the taco route because you know how Zack is with tacos, right?

Angeal: Oh, right!

Zack: Mexican fiesta!

Cloud: We got the first tray done and Zack ate it all in two seconds.

Angeal: Oh my god??

Zack: Mexican fiesta!

Cloud: I know. And he did that three times. We had to start from scratch three times. I had to lock him in the broom closet to get this done.

Zack: Mexican fi—

Cloud: SHUT UP!

Zack:

Angeal: Just...just go inside guys...

• While the boys head inside the apartment, Sephiroth shows up again. This time he's holding an industrial bucket filled to the brim with jelly beans.

Sephiroth: Beans are a great source of fiber and rich in—

*Angeal slams the door in his face*

• Fifteen minutes pass. Cloud and Zack are helping Angeal in the kitchen when the doorbell rings again. Angeal rushes to answer it.

• Genesis stands there with three bottles of wine in one hand and a glass dish covered in tinfoil in the other.

Genesis: I brought Swedish meatballs!

Angeal (in shock): No way.

Genesis: Way.

Angeal: You brought a normal dish and drinks?

Genesis: Yup!

Angeal: You were responsible with a task.

Genesis: Yup!

Angeal: And you cooked the meal from scratch like I asked you to?

Genesis: Duh!

*Angeal breaks down crying and pulls Genesis in for a hug*

Angeal: I'm so proud of you buddy~

Genesis: I know. I'm great, aren't I?

Angeal: Wait, there's something sticking out from your pocket.

*Angeal pulls out a business card from a Swedish restaurant*

Genesis:

Angeal:

Genesis: That's not mine.

Angeal: It was in your pocket.

Genesis: That's not my pocket.

Angeal: You're a fraud. Get inside.

• The boys are all hanging around and finishing up with the cooking and the setup when the doorbell rings.

• Angeal drags his feet as he heads to the door. He's fully expecting to see Sephiroth holding more candy.

• Instead he opens the door and is met with...

Angeal:

Sephiroth:

Angeal: You have got to be kidding me.

*Sephiroth holds out his halloween candy chocolate lasagna*

Sephiroth: Lasagna is a meal.

*Angeal sighs and holds open the door*

Angeal: Just get inside. And go help Cloud tie Zack to the radiator. He got ahold of the tacos again.

[supercap2319]

After a successful night of trick or treating you and Peter sort Ben’s candy someone dared to give him a tooth brush.

"And done! No apples or razor blades in sight." Y/N smiled down all the tinfoil goodness. It was Halloween night, and like all parents with kids, they took them trick or treating with the hopes that the houses or apartments they took candy from didn't have anything harmful to their children.

Ben had been especially excited. He was going to dress up like his daddy. Like Spiderman. Of course, no one knew that, just the playful imagination of a young boy.

Peter stole a twix and smiled. "Yeah, Mr. Bronson in 4-B was nice enough to give Ben this giant size chocolate bar. I think I'll hold on to it for him."

"Oh, no you don't. You know what happens when you have too much sugar."

"It was one time."

"More like several times."

Y/N rummaged through the plastic pumpkin and found something that offended him. "A toothbrush? Ew! What are they tooth shaming kids now? Why do they push dental care so much?"

"Oh, come on, Y/N. It's just a toothbrush." Peter said.

"Just a toothbrush? Oh no, no, no, no. It's an act of war. I'm going to find this toothbrush house or apartment number and give them a trick."

"What are you going to do? Use eggs and toilet paper on them?"

"No. Water balloons filled with ketchup and mustard."

[timetraveltasting]

DULCIA DOMESTICA (ROMAN STUFFED DATES, 1st c.)

To get us through this workweek, I snuck in a mid-week Tasting History recipe - a little something sweet to get us through the next few days of work: Dulcia Domestica (directly translated as homemade sweets), a Roman recipe for stuffed dates from the 1st century. This is one of the very few dessert items mentioned in the earliest Roman cookbook, De Re Coquinaria of Apicius. These specific stuffed dates were a snack available at Ancient Rome's Colosseum during gladiatorial games, among other snacks like sausages and pastries, and they may also have been launched over the crowd as little prizes, like a predecessor to the modern stadium's T-shirt cannon! Most attendees, however, would buy these date snacks from concession workers roaming the aisles of each seating section, much like at stadiums today. The trade of the dulciarius, the sweet shops which produced these stuffed dates, was highly developed at the time of Apicius, to the point that professional bakers and confectioners supplied the entire home market with their sweets, making it rare for a home cook to try and make these themselves. This is largely the same today - making candy is a difficult process, best to leave it to Haribo and the like! This recipe seemed quick and not too laborious, so I just had to try it. I also really wanted to taste an Ancient Roman stadium snack! See Max’s video on how to make this dish here or see the ingredients and process at the end of this post, sourced from his website.

My experience making it:

First off, I halved the recipe (as I often must do with Tasting History recipes), and I decided to use only pine nuts, since I don't really like walnuts. I found some nice, big Medjool dates at the grocery store today on a whim, it seemed meant to be! For the honey, I used German sunflower honey, and I used plain black pepper.

I started by measuring out the honey into a saucepan. Well, I eyeballed it since my honey was quite thick and gloopy. I then sliced the dates open length-wise and removed the pits. Next I crushed the pine nuts with a mortar and pestle. Unfortunately, I seemed to have gotten carried away with this, and I think I may have crushed the pine nuts into too much of a soft crumble. Mine looked less chunky than Max's, at least. Perhaps walnuts are harder to crush? I added the pepper to the crushed pine nuts and mixed until uniform. Next, I stuffed the dates full of the nut mixture with a small spoon, then used the dates' sticky juices to try and seal them up again. It worked fairly well! I prepared a small plate of sea salt and rolled each date in it. I was actually quite surprised to see how well the fine grains of salt stuck to the dates, since the outside of the dates didn't seem very sticky. I warmed up the honey on the stove, and let it bubble for 10 minutes, having to turn the heat down only once due to it boiling up a little too high in the pot. Luckily I caught it before it made a terrible mess from boiling over! I placed each of the dates in the pot and ladled the bubbling honey over each of them with a spoon. They didn't open up at all or lose their filling, which was perfect. I let them cook just over a minute, then scooped them up and let them sit on some tinfoil to cool while my husband and I ate dinner. I transferred them to a plate after, and dessert was ready to be served!

My experience tasting it:

Biting into the stuffed date, the first thing I tasted, overwhelmingly so, was sweetness. However, the salt also came through strongly. I had never really put honey and salt together before in any recipes, but maybe I need to start - what a great combo! I did wish I could taste more pepper, though, since I thought that would add more of a spice. Maybe black pepper is too subtle, and I should have used long pepper instead. Texture-wise, I was not really a fan of this recipe. I had a feeling this would be the case going in, as I am not a huge fan of the texture of dates in general, despite liking their taste. I was expecting more texture from the pine nuts, but I must have ground them too small, as they almost felt like a paste on my tongue. Not my favourite. My husband seemed to like them, however, as he tossed them back and suggested I share the recipe with his mom (will do!). I'm on the fence about this recipe overall, and I'm not sure if I will make it again. If I do, I will not mince the pine nuts to a pulp like I did this time, and I would add more pepper to the mix. I might also take one Tasting History viewer's suggestion and mix the honey with the nut mixture instead of cooking the dates in it, in an effort to tame the sweetness a little. Perhaps I have much to learn from Ancient Rome's dulciarii - I'm sure their versions were much tastier, with the perfect ratio of ingredients. If you end up making this dish, if you liked it, or if you changed anything from the original recipe, do let me know!

Dulcia Domestica original recipe (1st c.)

Sourced from De Re Coquinaria of Apicius (1st c.).

Little home confections (which are called Dulciaria) are made thus: Little palms or (as they are ordinarily called) dates are stuffed - after the seeds have been removed - with a nut or with pine nuts and ground pepper, sprinkled with salt on the outside and are candied in honey and served.

Modern Recipe

Based on the recipe from De Re Coquinaria of Apicius (1st c.) and Max Miller’s version in his Tasting History video.

Ingredients:

15 to 20 large dates, such as medjool

1 cup (125 g) walnuts*

1/3 cup (45 g) pine nuts*

1 tsp black pepper or long pepper

1 cup (235 ml) honey

Fine sea salt

*You can use either all walnuts or all pine nuts if you want.

Method:

Slice the dates lengthwise on one side. Don’t cut all the way through, just enough to open them up so you can fill them. Remove pits if necessary.

Grind the walnuts and pine nuts in a mortar until it reaches the texture you desire.

Grind the pepper as finely as possible.

Mix the nuts and pepper until everything is evenly dispersed. Stuff the dates with the nut mixture. Pack as much of the stuffing as you can into each date, otherwise it’ll all fall out when you go to cook them. Close the date around the filling as much as possible, and continue until all the dates are filled.

Put the fine sea salt in a shallow bowl or plate and roll the stuffed dates in the salt.

Bring the honey to a simmer in a saucepan. Cook the honey for about 10 minutes, keeping an eye on it to make sure it doesn’t get too hot and boil over.

Add the dates to the honey, cut side up so the filling doesn’t come out. Spoon or push the honey over the dates and let them cook for about 45 seconds to 1 minute.

Remove the dates and set them on a plate, a piece of foil, or parchment to cool completely, about 10 minutes.

Once the dates have cooled and are a bit less sticky, serve them forth.

[pixelatedquarter]

Day 44 of Tourdust: I'm sending this from the other side of the apocalypse that just unfolded, trying to get it across while the veil is still thin, but I can't promise it will ever reach.

One thing they don't tell you about the so called Halloween 'veil' is that apparently doesn't only divide the realm of the living and the dead, but also the integrity of the timeline. Somehow, earlier than we expected to have news of our trick or treaters at the scene, we were informed they were witnessing a show from the pre-hiatus, or rather, what would have been the pre-hiatus until The Pumpkin King From The Chicago Hardcore Scene returned, in all his sunglasses-wearing milfy glory, to once again scream lyrics onstage.

Once this event unfolded it didn't take long for ghost sightings to be reported at the Pvris retirement home. At first we thought we knew what awaited, with one of them wearing a baseball cap, the ones of us most versed in tinfoil hatmaking considering perhaps at worst they were covering their costumes with sheets.

But we soon realized he was too tall to be our dear melodramatic femme fatale's dead soulmate (again); and then there were more of them. It was soon clear that ghost tricks had been summoned to obfuscate what the pumpkin king had in store for the trick or treaters, and for all of us, attending from our dear Andy's phone.

On the palm of his hand we were standing when we saw just how high the levels of sillyness were: we were safe from those ghosts for they had been busted by a sexy sexy guitar, a crack of lightning beat in time with the drums, and undoubtedly the big bad grandmilf wolf from shrek had been responsible, in his soulmate exalting poetry, of chanting the name of a star thrice. After all this tour trying to keep a semblance of matching, it's more than earned that tonight of all nights they'd each embody a wildly different member of a wildly different group.

Usually we receive critical hits of damage around the time Patrick gets his little moment to shine. We didn't even make it to the riff this time.

Faster than Beetlejuice became just a regular eyeliner wearing spirit, our werewolf turned into this ethereal human (perhaps evocative of being lost into dreamland in his nightgown, perhaps that's owed to the fantasy land he constructed around them), more an apparition of a lost soul handing out candy to the kids rather than the implied threat of a furry posing as a grandmother trying to trick us. And as the latter started singing the ever haunting tunes of Heaven, Iowa, cameras soon panned to the spot where Pete usually sits alone, as the now wigless, armourless, but just as toned god of thunder enveloped him in a hug, capturing both of them laughing, perhaps comforting each other, certainly having fun, before Thor bolted just in time to avoid missing his cue.

We know better than to make deals with devils, i promise, we do. No matter how good they look in eye makeup. But, sometimes it IS worth making a deal with Beetlejuice to get him to play I'm Like A Lawyer for our streamer. Besides, it's not like the pumpkin king, who would use the distraction of the new and devastating "when i woke up next to you" to turn into his skeletal form, would let any marriages come of it. Well, unless it's for the bit, or you mishear him state his intentions to be engaged himself to this devil. Wouldn't be the wildest thing he's said on riff. Truly, a second riff with Patrick was the greatest treat of the night and he damn well knows it, he's always been good at knowing his subjects.

And The Magic 8 Ball has always been good at knowing when to throw us for a loop. We thought 'surely. if it's reset, that means new rules will not keep showing up.' and oh how wrong we were. 'You will cover Halloween for Halloween' it told them, not giving them more than a day to practice a song that wasn't even theirs. 'And by the way, fuck the legal system' it added, for good measure, despite the lights not being as sexy as they were last time.

By the non-encore encore the only sensible member of this ragtag group, who managed to keep his full attire was the ghostbuster, the sounds from his guitar as effective as any proton pack, as powerful as the thunderous beat Thor kept on the drums.

And so it was time to end the night of trick or treating. The skeleton's bones rattled as his hips swayed, roses clung like vines intertwined with his rib cage, and a bony elbow pressed against this demon who could have been the devil himself 12 years ago, but certainly looked happier now. In spite of it all, it was Saturday again.

[innytoes]

More Dark Fantasy AU because when have I ever left well enough alone and @jmrothwell made me the prettiest moodboard.

-Rose's great grandmother was a changeling. Her great great grandparents went to the fair folk because they were having trouble conceiving a child and made a deal. They got their baby... only for it to be swapped with a changeling after a few months.

-They went to the fae like: um excuse me we want our child back. No we're not giving you this one, a deal's a deal. We gave you our heirloom music box to grow our family, it's not our fault you gave us two. You still have the music box so no refunds.

-That story had been passed down for generations and Ray always thought it was a sweet fairytale about found family and loving people even if they're not related by blood or a bit different. But nope, guess it was real.

-In true Molina fashion Ray is thus like: welp guess I have four new children now.

-Four very weird new children. At least Reggie is only a little bit out of time, but he's had to stop Luke from getting run over by a car at least four times already.

-Alex came from the 1920s and was promised a life where he could be himself, be as gay as he wanted, and dance the night away.

-Years and years of non-stop dancing, his feet moving against his will, was a very harsh lesson to learn about not making deals with the fae.

-The boys can all go invisible, but Julie can still see them.

-Victoria taking 3 minutes to freak out at the whole situations and shouting about demons while Willie tries to continue having a pleasant conversation with her and Reggie is like: hey, words hurt. ... And then she realises the stories her abuela told her and Rose were real and sets right to feeding these poor kids.

-Yes it takes some convincing that they can eat food here and still leave. Carlos demonstrates by eating and apple and prancing in and out of the door.

-Ray was pretty okay with his four new children. Getting the guys up to speed of Life on Earth In 2020 is... a bit hit and miss. Explaining the microwave to his new kids: great! They get it! They're so smart (especially when it comes to food). Forgetting to mention to take the tinfoil off the stuff Tía left in the fridge: less great! Especially because Willie is strangely enchanted by the fire extinguisher.

-They of course each have their own things they're excited about. Reggie is freaking out over the new Star Wars. Luke discovered Rock music. Alex is deep in a Britney Spears phase, and, to Julie's slight annoyance, a Dirty Candi phase.

-Willie is baffled and delighted by all kinds of odd things, and has fallen in love with waves. He tries to explain that it's kind of like home, without the bad parts: constant, the same, but ever-changing.

-Willie takes up surfing and Alex nearly swallows his tongue.

-Other human and earth things Willie is enchanted by: friendship bracelets, lava lamps, theramins, glittery gel pens, salt and vinegar chips, cats, and of course, skateboards.

-Out of all of his kids, Willie is definitely the one Ray worries the most about. The other boys are just out of time, but Willie has no reference for human culture or... anything.

-Like he doesn't understand that people crying or yelling or being in pain means they cannot do something because... well, that's just what Caleb expected. He doesn't understand that not everything needs to be a trade. He seems weirdly upset all days are the same length.

-Carlos made a sign that says 'it's been 0 days since Willie has done or said some freaky stuff'. The counter has never been higher than 1.

-Willie, staring straight into Ray's soul and is it just him or did his pupils and irises disappear to be replaced by an endless galaxy for just a moment: "The birds say you left a bag of groceries in your caw and your ice cream is melting."

-The ice cream is saved, the birds are fed some sunflower seeds, and Ray decides that Willie picking up language from the crows is not on the top of his list of priorities.

-Until the crows teach him to swear.

[eating-the-inedible]

Here is a list of the inedibles that will be in this bracket

Lava

Orbeez

Orange Joe (fictional "beverage" that's a combination of orange juice and coffee)

Doll shoes

Dirt

Pen caps

Mercury

Watermelon tourmaline

Comet/scouring powder

Moss

Paper towels

Play-Doh

Drywall

Marbles

CD

DVD

Dice

Kinetic Sand

Coins 

Fiberglass insulation

3DS Stylus

Plastic Bottle Cap

Chapstick

Babybell Cheese Wax

Paper

Bouncy ball

Human meat

Venus (planet)

Cascade dishwasher pods

Acrylic Paint

Magnets

Molten glass

Pens

Sea glass

Silica gel packet

Leaves

Cocoa butter lotion

Antifreeze

Pencil Toppers, the lil eraser things

Sand

Tumbled amethyst

Rubber Ducks

The rubber balls from the game Cranium Cariboo

Polly pocket clothes

Poison Dart Frog

Snow

0.1 uF Film Capacitor

The sun

Metal

Eraser

Tide pods

Phone charger wire

Those free wooden pencils you get at ikea (just the wood shell not the lead)

Liquid nitrogen

Aquarium gravel

the weird science juice in the beakers in those stock images

Origami star

Styrofoam cup

Sticky note

Collar of shirt

This submission form

Plastic straws

Glow sticks

Oil paintings

Candle wax

Glass

Nickel sulfate solution/Nickel plating solution

Silicone wristbands

Seatbelt

The wax paper under your Poutine

Forearm (doesn't have to be one's own)

Asbestos

Candy wrapper

“Okay so technically this is edible but I’ve had urges to just take a huge bite out of certain sea creatures before. Like just a chunk from an orca or dolphin or great white or seal, etc.”

“Those stupid wooden spoons”

Furbies

Scotch tape

Artificial grapes (the wax/plastic ones for display)

phone

THE FLESH OF MY ENEMIES

Crystals

Fire

The goo inside  Stretch Armstrong

Headphone wire

Raw steak

Art

Small colorful rubber bands 

Tinfoil

Pencil lead

Cattails (the plant)

Foamy soap

Liquid soap

Bar soap

Flourite

Shiny rocks

Grass

A hunk of random fish swimming by

A live goldfish

Toothpaste

Styrofoam

Price Tag Fasteners

The moon

Pool noodles

Smol frog

Destroying angel mushroom

the smoke coming out of the grain refineries two Mike's out of Gary, Indiana, Usa

Popsicle sticks

Cardboard

My hat

The tiny rocks in school playgrounds

Gasoline

Blue laundry detergent

Spray foam insulation

Battery corrosion

Fiber optic cables

Packing peanuts

Your mother

Pond water

Dry ice

Alkali metals

Chocolate shampoo

Ping pong ball

Bricks, like the stuff you'd build with. Minecraft bricks even, if you want

Hoodie drawstrings

Horse treats

Chalk

Copper (II) Sulphate Water / Blue Science Rock + Blue Science Juice

Ink

Floam

Fabric Paint

Oil paint

that one art piece of the banana taped to the wall

the hotdog somebody encased in resin

“the thin lego plates not the base plates but like the lego piece thats like 2x8 and they kinda look like hershey chocolate bar pieces”

One of those little hamsters

Model magic

Battery Acid (the drink)

manchineel apple

Rubber band ball

The lava lamp liquid

Blood

Rosin

Wax apples

That cake decoration that came with your slice and you're like 90% sure it's not edible... but what if ?

Soap bubble

Lush cosmetics' products

Plushies

Strawberry Shortcake's dolls with scented hair

Wood

Glue

Salt lamp

People who think children are not worth their consideration

Tarmac

Shampoo

Pennies

Poisonous berries

Chunky soft yarn

Crayons 

Rock

“whatever the Chuck E Cheese Ticket Muncher Machine is eating (it's not the tickets) (or the sound itself but that's neither a solid nor a liquid so this is just kind of holding hands with the hypothetical ticket muncher food)”

Snow globe liquid

Chisel tip whiteboard marker

Raw dough

Raw fuckin cactus. alive

Grape agate

Car seat

Succulents

Keys

Lock pick

Scrub daddy

Molten sugar 

Allergens

Lightning bolts

“Bark dust. Like the dirt/bark dust that's under the bark chips on a playground. Not the chips themselves. The dust.”

Clear deodorant

Apple earbud wires

Eggshells

Squinkies

Hello kitty sweatshirt zipper

Preshredded mozzarella cheese

Scrap metal

Rose

All of the rocks at a crystal shop

Origami polyhedron model

Bubbles mixture

Cupcake liners

Hair gel

Curtain rods

Incense sticks

Incense cones

Metal thing that attaches eraser to pencil

Windshield wiper fluid

Plastic pencil grips

Wooden ice cream spoon

Book

Tree

The liquid in levels

Vanilla extract

Aroace flag

Coil incense

California state testing “next question” button

Spackle

Forbidden coal iron french fries

Garage doors that look like chocolate bars

Plastic takeout box

Velvet

Weird anime girl hair

Freezable gel ice pack

Clouds

Necklace chains

Nail polish

Pencil Shavings

Pool floats

Bao Dumpling

Spray deodorant

0.1 uF Ceramic Capacitor

Vanillish (Pokémon)

Fondant

Really fancy pillars

Computers

Favorite song

Tumblr

“THE LITTLE ORBS IN THE MOUSE (aka trackballs)”

“Any cutesy anime character like Chopper or Pikachu”

Wooden fan blades

Balsa wood sticks

Those blankets that look like tortillas

Microwave

Milk and golden honey softsoap

Batteries

1x2 lego pieces

Light bulbs

Slightly melted lounge chair

Cork (the material)

Pineapple coke

Fingernails 

Sparkly lipgloss

Race Car Tire Marble

Gold trophies

Konjac sponge

Shirt

Mandy the Slayer / Orange Spyderco Dragonfly Knife

Malachite

Heater

Glasses Temples

Typewriter keys

EVA foam

Airplane

Sword

Crumbs in the couch

Children

My wife's arm/shoulder

Records

Yellow ACE bandages

Neon Signs

Scented candles

[hiccanna-tidbits]

@jackunzel-time

Jackunzel Month Week 2 - Coming of Age

***

"Okay, can I look now?"

"Not yet!"

The kitchen is once again filled with the sounds of Rapunzel banging around, plates and dishware clattering as she searches the fridge. Jack's got a sneaking suspicion this all has something to do with the huge, tinfoil-covered mound on the top shelf.

For an entire week, Rapunzel insisted they put every ounce of leftovers in the bottom half of the fridge, ignoring the Mysterious Object™️like a leaky faucet you handn't gotten around to fixing. Not that Rapunzel doesn't occasionally need her home fridge for work-related things, but she isn't normally cagey about it.

Jack once again resists the urge to peek out of the blindfold.

"Come ooooon, Zellie! This anticipation is going to kill me before our starving artist lifestyle does."

Rapunzel laughs. "Starving? I'll have you know, sir, that I've had no less than 5 whole french fries today!"

Considering it was 9 pm, this was not an ideal french fry quota. Rapunzel definitely had time to eat more fries today.

Jack wonders idly if Rapunzel's just getting too caught up in her work to take lunch breaks, or if her manager is crunching her deadlines again.

Before he can get too far into plotting how he would swap her boss's salt and sugar without getting Rapunzel in trouble, he hears the distinctive sound of a lighter.

"Are you torching our apartment?" he asks. "Because if so, I'm very offended I wasn't invited to participate."

Rapunzel scoffs. "Don't be silly! Like I'd set the place on fire without getting home insurance first. And it isn't as though either of us can afford that."

"You're still making me nervous. Usually I'm the one who plays the pranks."

"Hmmm, well...that would have been a good idea, actually." Rapunzel sounds a little regretful. "But no tricks today, I promise. Now open your eyes!"

And at last, Jack gets to see what all the fuss is about.

A stunning, snow-white cake sits in the middle of their dining room table, covered in sparkly silver candy orbs and carefully sculpted fondant snowflakes. All around the side are little hand-painted winter scenes, meticulously crafted by an icing brush in a process that must've taken hours. On top, a "2" and a "6" candle sit ablaze.

Rapunzel, of course, spends all day at work decorating cakes. It's her career. (Or, at least, it has been for the past 6 months--the longest she's gone without leaving a job to date.)

It still seems like she went the extra mile with this one.

"What--" For a long moment, all Jack can do is stare with his mouth hanging open.

"What the hell," he says finally. "How did I forget today was my birthday???"

Rapunzel's surprise quickly turns to laughter.

"Oh my god, how did you forget?"

Easy for her to say. Back when Rapunzel lived with her crazy mom, who practically kept her a prisoner in her own house, birthdays were easily the most interesting thing that happened all year. Birthdays with the Overlands were always much more...lowkey, so to speak.

"In my defense!" He holds up his hands. "Nothing interesting happens when you turn 26. Pretty much all the milestones are finished, so it's just another orbit around the sun."

"Nonsense!" Rapunzel sticks her lip out in disapproval. "That's no way to talk about your coming-of-age ceremony!"

"Coming-of-age?" He raises his eyebrows. "I think we missed the cutoff for that a while ago."

"Well, 26 is your age now." She crosses her arms, chin up defiantly. "And you have come to it. So therefore you have come of age."

He chuckles. "Is that how that works?"

"Why not? Teenagers and college kids shouldn't get to have all the fun!"

"My point still stands, though," he argues. "You don't really...unlock the same kind of stuff in your 20s that you do when you're younger. It's not like there are new magical adventures that you suddenly have access to when the clock strikes 12 on your 26th birthday."

"Says who?"

His girlfriend's conniving smirk sends a wave of excitement through him. What is she plotting?

"Did you find an elite 26-and-over club to join?"

"Not exactly." She leans over the table, smirk widening. "But someone did have a chat with your boss about how many great snowscape photo opportunities there are in the mountains, and how you're going to need to not come into the office for while to get all the best shots."

Jack's eyes widen as her meaning dawns on him. "And Mr. North was cool with that? Me taking a vacation right before the holidays?"

"I mean. He could hardly resist the offer of having his best photographer out getting festive snapshots for the December issue of the magazine. You'd do more good on the field than stuck behind an editing desk, right?"

"No kidding."

Jack sits down, getting ready to blow out the unexpected birthday candles. He pauses, something occurring to him.

"Wait, what about you? I'm not about to go off and leave you to handle the bakery's holiday rush on your own!"

Rapunzel hums thoughtfully.

"Well, funny thing. I told our head baker that I just hadn't been feeling very inspired lately. And if I went somewhere, say, fresh and exciting, then the muse was sure to strike again and I'd pump out a collection of the most beautiful winter cakes the bakery's ever known. Ones to really send that holiday profit flooding in."

"So...you snuck around and got us both a week off for my birthday by spinning it as a work trip? And on top of that, you just casually whipped out the most gorgeous birthday cake I've ever seen in my life?"

She nods, beaming.

"You're my goddamn hero."

He stands up and sweeps her into his arms, pulling her into a kiss worthy of being the Big Dramatic Finale to any coming-of-age film. All these years later, and it still feels like cameras should be spinning around them with rock music building into a triumphant crescendo.

Maybe that's cheesy, but to hell with it.

"Have I ever mentioned I'm in love with you?" he murmurs against her lips.

"I would hope so, Overland. We've been dating for 9 years now."

***

Half a hazelnut chocolate cake and two celebratory hot cocoas later, Jack finds himself being dragged toward the car in the encroaching darkness of 5:30 pm.

"Zel, what--"

"Come on! I booked us a night in a cabin, and we need to take off before the roads get icy. It's supposed to snow in a couple hours!"

"But what about--"

"I packed the car while you were at work." Rapunzel doesn't miss a beat. "Don't worry, I grabbed all your favorite sweaters! Your snowboarding stuff too. And the sleeping bags. And the cozy socks. And the snow chains. And the binoculars. And the sled. And the scarves."

He doesn't have time to form a reply before he's being bundled into the front seat and covered in one of his favorite fluffy blankets. The sheer amount of alpine field guides and brochures on the car floor make him do a double take.

"You have an itinerary?" he asks, surprised.

She hums uncertainly as she pulls out of the driveway.

"Well...nothing too rigid. No coming-of-age road trip of self-discovery can be that structured, or else it might get in the way of spontaneous epiphanies about who you truly are, right?"

"Right."

Rapunzel looks like she's about to burst open with what she isn't saying.

"I sense a 'but' there."

"I did find a really cute place for us to sled." The dam breaks as Rapunzel pulls out of the driveway. "And there's this secluded little mountain animal rescue we have to see. And this four-star cafe we can stop at for hot cider and soup, and this really pretty snowy hike that I don't think is too tiring. Also this ski and snowboard slope we can check out if we have time, with this really cozy lodge, and--"

She cuts herself off mid-sentence as soon as she picks up that all this might be a little overwhelming.

"Buuuuut," she amends slowly. "It's not like I've put down a deposit for anything. We could just drive through the mountains and stop whenever we feel the urge. Find the best secret spots and have them to ourselves, you know? Have deep conversations and be alone with nature and reconnect with our humanity and our sense of purpose. Or something like that."

He can't help but laugh at the way her brow scrunches as she goes deep into thought.

"That sounds great."

"Do you...have a preference?" She gives him a searching look as they pull onto the freeway, already glowing with streetlamps and taillights. "Agenda or no agenda?"

"Whatever you're down for, I'm down for. Hell, I'm just happy to have an unexpected week of vacation."

"I guess that's the thing about these types of 'finding yourself' stories. You kind of have to figure them out as you go along."

"Then let's do some figuring!"

Rapunzel hits the gas, and off they go into the winter sunset, bound for their next coming-of-age adventure. One to perhaps be followed by many more, depending on how many future ages they deem it significant to "come to."

***

Tfw you keep aging but The Blorbos™️do not, so the only logical solution is to force them to age with you XD God dammit, if I have to be in my mid-20s, then so do my comfort characters!!!

Fr tho, I often find myself wishing there were more aged-up AUs in the RotBTD fandom. Most fandom olds returning to (or who stayed in) the fandom aren't the teenagers we were when we first got into the big four anymore, so...why not let them grow up with us??? It's not like their canon ages are some sacred, set-in-stone thing that can't be changed since people do in fact get older as time passes ajdnlshbf

And like!!! Don't get me wrong, I love a well-done high school or college AU, and they can be a lot of fun!!! But I think as I've gotten older I wonder more about how the RotBTD kids would navigate adulthood, and how they would change/adapt and how they would stay the same throughout their lives.

Jackunzel I feel like would be one of those couples who would just be it for each other. Like they get together in late high school--probably junior or senior year--and everyone keeps waiting for the spark to die in college and for them to get stir-crazy (as people who get into committed relationships young often do) or bored of each other, and they just. Don't. MFs hit 30 and are still in the honeymoon phase with no sign of getting out XD

Rapunzel is so right here btw. Twenty-somethings DO deserve to have indie coming-of-age dramas made about them!!! Kids and teens and college students shouldn't get to have all the fun!!! Besides, there's plenty of growing/maturing still to do in young adulthood, so why stop writing stories about that just because the people in question are out of school??? Tbh I'm so tired of movies with adult protagonists being either fluffy (hetero) romcoms or a drama about Some Guy with a wife and kids like??? There are other types of adults besides straights in the dating pool and middle-aged people with tidy little nuclear families!!! I promise!!!

Guess I'll just have to write all those funky little RotBTD twenty-something AUs myself ajshdkuys

Shout-out to the RotBTD discord for giving me the idea of having Rapunzel be a cake decorator and Jack be a photographer! I sometimes struggle a bit with future career ideas for the RotBTD kids, but these fit really well :D Jack definitely seems like the kind of person who would like something freelance and loose-scheduled where he basically gets paid to capture the beauty in the world around him :O And we know Rapunzel can bake, and she likes art, so...

CAKE ART CAKE ART CAKE ART CAKE ART

VERY happy I found that snowflake-and-orb cake, because that definitely seems like something Jack would enjoy 🤍❄️ And now I kind of want to try it 👀👀👀I DO have to wonder how they did that little picture with the tree and the car :O

As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

[crazymuffin1]

"we never get any trick or treaters so i didnt buy any candy" -my mom

take a wild fucking guess what happened

i didnt have any candy so i just wrapped some macroons i made in tinfoil. hope they enjoy it and pester their parents to buy some real expensive ones.

[quantumkaworu]

ok tinfoil hat moment but what happened to all the hard candy????? everything is a soft chew now. No hard jolly ranches, barely any REAL Skittles?? hello??? I need to suck and gnaw???

[a-roses-wondrous-rain]

The Static on the TV and the Awful Candy

Requested by - Anon

Notes: reader for Kennith is 16 (and male) since I hc Kennith as 16-17, and Lucian’s reader is in their mid twenties. Kennith’s scenario takes place in 1986, less than a year before the broadcast. Lucian hasn’t fully tapped into his homicidal tendencies, but he still can be impulsive. Lucian uses he/they.

~~ Kennith ~~

Everyone collectively didn’t like Kennith because it was 1986 and gay rights wasn’t exactly a thing. But did that matter to you? No, no it didn’t. But you still dated Kennith in secret to try and save what little reputation he had and your reputation as a well liked kid. You always would bring him little chocolates or treats when you could, just because you knew he had a sweet tooth. And today was one of those days.

Kennith was sitting on the roof, alone for lunch once again as he wrote in that book of his. You never asked to see the book since you respected Kennith’s boundaries. You spotted him alone, eating his small lunch while writing, and plopped down on the bench next to him. “Hey, kenny!” You said in a cheerful tone, pulling out a small tinfoil-wrapped piece of chocolate to give him. Kennith looked up, “oh, hey!” His dark brown eyes looked down, looking at the chocolate. “For me?” You nodded as he took the chocolate, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. Kennith smiled as he ate it, offering you a small bit of his own lunch. Times like these are where you two practically never spoke, but it was nice that way. Kennith held your hand as he wrote in his notebook, and you held his as you ate your lunch.

~~ Lucian ~~

Lucian was… strange. He was quick to act, and either had no emotions or was overly emotional. It was kind of fun in your opinion, not knowing what you’ll get that day. Sure, it was difficult sometimes, but he always tried to be kind to you and you only. Sometimes he’d cry in your arms, sometimes he’d get a bit snappish or grumpy, or sometimes he was completely normal. Today, they were a bit quick to snap.

You sat on the couch, holding out your arms to embrace him. “What are you doing?” He said in a nearly snappish tone. You pouted a bit, “just come here. You look like you need a hug.” “No I don’t.” You glared at them just long enough that they sighed, “fine, just for a moment.” Lucian walked over, dropping himself onto your lap. You smiled once you encase them in your arms, holding them close to yourself and peppering kisses all over their face and neck. He could help but smile, “okay, okay! You can calm down with the affection, teddy bear.” “But why would I not show affection to my sweet little gumdrop?” He couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. You had called him it since you got together, but there was no real reason behind it. You always loved to call him nicknames, ranging from things like ‘love’ to things like ‘my little Chernobyl mutation.’ It never bothered them, they always liked the variety. You grabbed a blanket that was off to the side of the couch, wrapping it around yourself and Lucian. How could they keep being upset if you were holding them?