#Tim: Jason....this is blue
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bluejayscrying · 3 months ago
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[A video starts, Red Robins face incredibly close to the camera as he whispers into the microphone.
Red Robin, in what we can assume is the Batcave, lying down in an army-crawl position: *whispers* okay, so i know were technically not allowed to record in the cave but- were playing cops and robbers and-
*There's a clattering noise in the distance and his head whips towards the sound*
Red Robin, sounding equally gleeful and terrified: shit shit shit, i think someones in here? i gotta go free Signal- FUCK!
*Another noise, this one louder and accompanied by the sound of boots hitting the floor in a run, a flash of red is seen in the corner of the camera*
Red Robin, scrambling to his feet, the camera is shaky, and all you can hear is his feet running and the sounds of yells: ohmygod im gonna die who the fuck made RED HOOD A COP JESUS CHRIST!
Another voice, deeper and followed by cackling: IM GONNA GET YOU! ITS FUCKING OVER REPLACEMENT! COUNT YOUR DAYS YOU SHIT!
Red Robin is full sprinting now, and he turns sharply into a ballroom (??) where Nightwing is seen next to The daytime hero Signal, both of them waving aggressively*
Red Robin, panting: SIGNAL! i'm- shit, I'm on my way!
*The sound of boots gets closer as the camera blurs fully, only audio being heard*
Red Robin, screaming: FUCK NO- NIGHTWING SAVE ME-
*The video cuts off the the frozen image of Red Robin on the floor, a Red metal-plated boot planted on their back- if you look closely you can see Signal and Nightwing in the corner, Nightwing dramatically on his knees as Signal is fake-crying*]
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heyyallitssatan · 6 months ago
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I like to think that Batman’s suit is really heavy
Like, the thing obviously Kevlar weave, with lots of armour reinforced bits, not to mention all of the gear and gadgets and tools he has on his person, I mean, anything he’s ever thought he may need, anything he’s been mid fight thinking that a particular tool would be useful, he has it somewhere, probably a few of them
And all the kids too, they’re equally equipped even if they don’t necessarily look it
So I like to imagine that some of the heroes decided they should do a costume switch for fun
The bats agreed, and the best part wasn’t them being weirded out like they thought they’d be, unmasked and all that, no, they couldn’t care less, instead everyone else is freaking out about how heavy the bats costumes are
How the hell do they do impossible feats of acrobatics wearing shit like this
Even the supers think it’s excessive, and they have super strength
The bats all take the opportunity to try some of their moves without the weight, given that they work out wearing even more weight
Turns out they can flip and jump and move in even more insane ways than anyone thought possible and everyone is more terrified than they were a few minutes ago
Everyone decides the bats are better with their gadgets
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tiger-grace · 4 months ago
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I think Alfred is constantly dreaming about retirement but is shackled by the knowledge that he is the glue holding this barely functional family together
Alfred: sir I really don’t think
Bruce: why not. why should I not invest millions into funding a therapy corporation that Jason will ACTUALLY be able to trust
Alfred: quite honestly sir I think if it says “wayne” on it he’s 10 times less likely to go
Tim and Damian kicking the hell out of eachother rolling around on the floor: (unintelligible screaming, glass breaking, various cartoon crashing sound effects)
Alfred: (stares into batcamera like he’s in an office episode with several decades worth of exhaustion)
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fanaticalthings · 6 months ago
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I really like the idea of the bat kids designating Dick and Jason's apartments as sibling gathering spots but for opposite reasons.
Sibling needs some comfort? Some eldest daughter advice? A shoulder to cry on or just a lil getaway spot from the chaos of Gotham? Dick's apartment is perfect.
But if a batkid wants to complain, maybe wants to talk shit about Bruce, or maybe even wants to discuss a lil felony in a judgement free zone? Jason's place it is.
And I like to imagine that while Dick readily keeps his doors open and reminds anyone that they can drop by anytime, it's the opposite for Jason.
Dude's got his place riddled with traps and locked up to the high heavens. He makes it obvious he doesn't want visitors, and vaguely insinuates that there are bombs rigged somewhere in his apartment so there's a always a 50/50 chance you might get blown up if he's feeling particularly bitchy one day.
But does that stop his siblings? Absolutely not. Unlike Dick (who assigns himself as the guiding older brother), Jason has been forcefully labelled as the older sibling you go to if you need to complain and stir up havoc. The hundreds of traps in his place mean nothing. And it's worse because Jason is never prepared for when someone drops in.
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[Jason, 3 hours into his sleep, blearily waking up to a weight on his chest at 4am]:
[Damian, perched atop him, eyes dead-centre locked onto Jason without blinking]: Hello, Todd-stop screaming it is unbecoming-I just came to tell you that father won't allow me to adopt another stray I found on patrol.
Jason, half-asleep and like 70% sure he's hallucinating: Wha-
Damian: I need you to blow up his car.
Jason:
-----
[Jason, arriving home after a 6 hour patrol, exhausted out of his mind, turning on the lights]:
[Stephanie, previously baking brownies in the pitch black darkness before Jason arrived]: Oh hey! Just thought I'd drop by, y'know, for fun.
Jason: Bruce yelled at you again.
Stephanie: Bruce yelled at me again.
And yes, while most of the time, it ends up as wholesome sibling bonding, sometimes the other batkids just feel like inconveniencing Jason just whenever, because what are siblings for?
[Jason waking up and seeing all of his traps and security systems disarmed and very deliberately broken in a way where he'll have to replace all of them instead of being able to reactivate them]:
[Jason, immediately dialing his phone angrily]: Tim, I swear to GOD-
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[Jason giving himself a rest-day and cooking some meals]:
[Dick somersaulting in through the open window unannounced (he missed his brother)]: Whatcha up to, littlewing? :>
Jason: GET OUT-
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[Jason casually reading a book, feeling a sudden chill up his spine]:
[Cassandra standing in the corner without so much as an exhale, watching Jason intensely. Who knows how long she's been there]:
Jason: Are you here to kill me
Cass:
Jason: Just make it quick.
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ahfrickenfrick · 5 months ago
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how many times have any of the batmembers had to come up to leslie and been like ‘hey got into a fight with a bat from the cave’
and she sighs and ask which family member only to realize they lost against a literal bat and need 12 different shots
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redsray · 9 months ago
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Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this: Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good. Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.
Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.
Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures
Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!
Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.
Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters
Tim, nodding: I did.
Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?
Tim, gone:
Jason: no fucking way.
Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:
Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...
Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.
Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!
Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?
Jason: who is that.
Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.
Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.
Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: you don't think...
Dick: no. B would've told us.
Jason:
Dick:
Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow
Bruce: what do you mean another kid?
Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!
Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?
Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already
Bruce: what.
Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.
Bruce: do you know his name?
Dick:
Jason:
Bruce: really?
Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.
[camera shutter noise]
All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:
Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:
Jason: do you see what we mean?!
Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.
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gunkyfeline · 1 year ago
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ROBINS
they’re siblings, your honor
(some close ups for their faces)
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bluerosefox · 1 year ago
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Playing Dead AU Guyyyyyyssss
I just had a random shenanigans idea...
Now hear me out.
You know those murder mystery parties right? The ones where people get together, an actor plays dead, and the groups have to figure out who did it.
Well what if.
Danny takes a summer job as the body/actor of the victim for those parties and actually is commented on being the best 'very lifelike dead body' actor and hey at least his 'medical condition' (halfa) is finally being useful for something (besides you know, fighting ghosts) he can even go hours without moving (or breathing) once he's dead so he doesn't ruin the immersion for party goers.
Anyways, what if he gets a job for a rich people's party, you know something novelty for the wealthy to have fun with, maybe it's the Wayne's hosting a party or maybe someone else and they invite the Wayne's. And the company he works for sends him to Gotham. He gets there, helps set up the clues and the other actors, etc etc.
Then the guests start showing up, Danny acts like the star of the show he is and then the lights cut out, he screams (very realistically), and 'dies' before the lights come back on. As some players come up to inspect his body however he doesn't notice how some take his pulse and actually fully think he's dead.
Point being, Danny is the 'dead' body for the murder mystery, goes to Gotham for a gig, 'dies' and the batfam think they have a legit murder happening.
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ehliena · 6 months ago
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Someone: black hair and a trust fund? You must be a Wayne.
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puppetmaster13u · 8 months ago
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Hear me out: Demon Batfam but Bruce gets them as babies because people won't stop trying to sacrifice their children and he is So Tired
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And it is semi-early Batman Bruce too.
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bluejayscrying · 5 months ago
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Jason not even stopping as he walks past Tim and/or Damian, and just grabbing them by the back of the shirt and lifting them so he can carry them by the scruff like kittens to make things easier for him.
Tim, halfway thru an argument: you're not listening! i really don't think-
(Jason just walking past and grabbing him and walking away)
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I need Dick to be completely delusional about Tim and consider him to be his nicest, most helpful, and most well-behaved sibling.
_____
Tim: I have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life.
Dick: I know this and I love you 🥰
Jason: ...Dick, are you fucking HIGH???
_____
Dick: You should consider trying to be more like Tim! He's always such a well-behaved angel ❤️
Tim: Thank you, Dick 😇
Damian:
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________
Dick: Tim is very kind and always so polite! He would never be mean to someone on purpose! ❤️
Bruce, who is bullied by Tim an average of 4.5 times a day:
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Dick: Tim is an absolute sweetheart!
Cass: ... I do not think that word means what you think it does.
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Duke, staring at a warehouse that he and Tim just 'accidentally' blew up: ... So how mad do you think Dick is going to be at us?
Tim: Don't worry, I got this.
Dick, landing next to them: Holy explosion, Red Robin! What happened here?!?
Tim: I don't know 😔. It was like this when we got here 🥺.
Duke, whispering: There is no way he's going to believe tha-
Dick: Oh no! Well, I'm just glad you two are safe!
Duke: ... Tim, I need you to teach me your ways.
Dick: hm? Did you say something, Duke?
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Dick: I don't get it! Why does everyone think Tim is some kind of crazed feral gremlin?!?
Alfred: I believe that is because they have in fact met Master Tim.
Dick: What was that? 🙃
Alfred: ... 😮‍💨 Truly it is a mystery for the ages.
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gaywineauntsstuff · 16 days ago
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I love the idea of Dick being all the Batkid's favourite sibling but in violently different fonts.
Jason: Dick and Jay canonically have a pretty solid relationship but i'm partial to the Jason was around for Dick's rebellion stage and so Dick doesn't think he has to worry about the pedestal thing bc Jason has absolutely seen him violently hungover before he was legally allowed to drink font of this
So by the time Jason comes back and is no longer trying to murder Tim (except psychologically) Dick decides... Well he's evil sometimes but also I can finally tell someone all the Titans drama. So him and Jason meet up like once month if they're in the same city and get progressively drunker while shit talking their teams and Bruce.
Also I hate the Dick and Robin!Jason didn't get along. They absolutely did, Dick was like 0.5 seconds away from taking Jason to live with the titans permanently.
Tim: 'Oh Jason is Tims Robin, Oh Dick betrayed Tims trust.' in the name of the orange dude y'all elected twice W R O N G. Tim Drake used to watch VHS tapes of the flying Graysons routine. He wasn't even a batman Stan first. That came after he saw Robin do a quadruple summersault. Tim is a Dick Grayson fanboy first Person second. Like Tim canonically saw Jason die and went lmao skill issue, imagine not being like Dick Grayson i'm better. When Dick first started training him, he'd consistently excuse himself go to the other room, hyperventilate over Dick Grayson teaching him how to train surf. Dick is not just his idol he's also a pretty substantial part of Tim's support system. He calls Dick when he's going through something or is stuck on a case. And he knows that Dick will always have his back. They have like the unrealistic adorable sibling relationships from Tv that don't exist irl. Tim also does that awkward shuffle thing after fights bc they're still siblings and Dick just pretends the fight didn't happen until Tims calm again
Damian: You have to understand Damian thought he'd have to basically do the league all over again. He lands with Bruce and those ideas are soundly rejected and he now has no trust or respect and he has to adjust. And Bruce is doing his holier than thou, you should know better 10yro who literally was brainwashed as a child act, like Tim didn't have to pull him away from straight up becoming a villain and Dick didn't have to put him in his place with his fists a couple times a year (we love Bruce really). Then Bruce gets Time-streamed, Tim runs away and now the circus freak is BATMAN. Except the circus freak is also a sadistic bastard to criminals, despite being made out of marshmallows to you. Dick hangs people upside down off high buildings for information and cackles as Nightwing. He also listens to Damians worries and helps him deconstruct his bias view of the world. Dick canonically set the standard for child heroes and is among one of the most beloved and trusted heroes despite being marshmallowy and refusing to murder people. Dick is kinda like Damians stand in non pretentious moral compass until he learns his own one later on. Hence why Damian adores Dick Grayson more than anyone really.
in summary support my agenda that Dick and Jason are gossipy drinking buddies, Tim absolutely had a Dick Grayson Shrine as a child and Damian calls Dick to double check that he still cannot kill Timothy (its now entirely a joke.... mostly)
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nosyrobin · 1 month ago
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||DC X SONIC!READER HEADCANNONS||
Summary: HEY?! A wild blue hedgehog that’s as fast as flash?! WHAT THE—
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Sonic!reader who accidentally travels into a comic universe, dc as a choice and accidentally standing in the justice league HQ. “Uhhh.. meow?” The hedgehog says with a shrug. Immediately the hedgehog is running as quick as the flash? Barry or Wally, whatever you think is the flash at the moment is trying to catch the damn hedgehog. But the hedgehog only thinks of this as a game! Smiling before feeling his legs get caught in a glowing yellow rope.
“State your business and name!” The lady with the lasso says holding the animal up. Sonic!reader spits the truth out by how he has accidentally traveled into this universe. The team didn’t want to believe it, but you were still in the lasso of truth. So you were telling the truth. The hedgehog is already friends with flash, who wants to see how fast the hedgehog can do. And seeing how they both can do speed off and stop time while staying slow, yeah they both are downing food together.
Hal who literally makes fun of the quick hedgehog, that was before Sonic!reader took the ring off his finger so quick, flash laughed with the others. Batman only smiled a little before it quickly gone away.
Superman is gushing over how small the hedgehog is. He can’t help but not take Sonic!reader seriously. Really he can’t take the male hedgehog seriously because of how small and how funny and how they are determined to help people. It’s adorable to the man of steel!
Wonder Woman who adore the small hedgehog as well, after learning the adventures Sonic!reader has done and fought during. Wonder Woman smiles at the hedgehog, Sonic!reader then tells about how they have a female friend that wields a hammer. Immediately Wonder Woman is sat down when Sonic!reader describes the hammer and how big it is. Now Wonder Woman needs to know lore.
Gotham villains hate to see Sonic!reader coming when literally next minute they are in jail or in the asylum. Literally poison ivy and Harley were ready for their plan to succeed. But when they took a step forward, they were already in the asylum with a hedgehog swinging cell keys playfully in a guard uniform. “Already ahead of ya! Bye bye!” Then the blue hedgehog is gone.
The hedgehog being wrapped in a blanket like a baby because he got a bit tried when running. Clark is trying not to cry while holding the hedgehog. “Clark…give me the hedgehog.—" Bruce tries to grab the hedgehog. But the super immediately flies away.
Sonic!reader Who does his idle animation whenever speeding away from danger, mocking them as he wags his finger. “Gotta try harder than that!”
Catwoman having her whip around the blue hedgehog, having him hogtied. Sonic!reader is grumbling like the gremlin they are while catwoman, aka Selina is contacting Bruce. “Bruce..I got a hedgehog that says he’s with you..” “sigh..here I come.”
Barry and Wally just watching Sonic!reader speed around, they laugh at how adorable and excited the house. They Wally speeds over to try and stop sonic!reader who got stuff in a box.
“That’s so crash!” Bart says smiling at Sonic!reader who burned into a empty street with their speed. The fire shows a detailed chili dog. “I don’t know what that means, but yeah!” Reader says smiling and high giving Bart.
Impulse who likes Sonic!reader like a brother. Always asking for races and who can shove most food, but honestly it makes impulse and the flash family kinda disappointed to see that you aren’t really like them as you throw up. You eat for energy, they have to eat or else they die. Impulse still likes you treat you like you are part of the flash family, just like the flash does as well.
“You’re too slow!” Sonic!reader says when speeding pass impulse, aka Bart. Bart smiles at this and zooms to catch up which his new brother figure.
Batfamily vs Flashfamily wanting custody over the small hedgehog.
Bruce just training and seeing how fast Sonic!reader is and his potentials before treating Sonic!reader like son he just picked up. (He basically did) Bruce seeing how childish and smart mouth he can be reminded him of one of his sons, so he just basically “adopted” this small hedgehog.
Dick is just not amused at another speedster, what he is amused that this so called “speedster” is named Sonic and is fast like the flash. Reader just shows up in the manor holding up a chili dog with a goofy smile. “Want one? It’s still hot.” Dick couldn’t help but smile at the adorable hedgehog male and took the chili dog. Only he took the chili dog because he wanted to seem nice
Damian who couldn’t care what you are and who you are. Thought he is amused by how quick you are to have the audacity to talk back to him. He found out your weakness and smirks every-time the face of the hedgehog’s face drops at the word “pool.
Tim basically being DR. Eggman for Sonic!reader but more chill and totally not a villian. Tim just wants to know how a hedgehog is talking and is fast like the flash. Maybe he would pull on your quills to get a sample
Jason just reading the hedgehog books, maybe even bringing a comic book to Sonic!reader’s liking as the hedgehog has an oversized shirt with a goofy ahh smile. “Sup Jay!” Sonic!reader says with a smile. Jason just stays quiet and prays that he doesn’t show cute aggression at this hedgehog ass motherfucker.
Sonic!reader who just relaxes in the Wayne manor, talking to Alfred who just freshly made him some chili dogs. Yeah reader can get use to this.
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bluetooththereptile · 1 month ago
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The original
When Bruce lost his parents, he was left distraught, both of you were, Bruce had lost his parents, and you had become an heir to a dying company, an old Manor and a guardian to your younger sibling at 19, it was destined to happen, finding yourself in the vast vaern beneath the manor that is.
You became the shadow that hunted down criminals at night, for your own goals at least, you needed to beat someone up for the sake of having a catharsis for the pressure, unknowingly, you planted the seed of a legend that would take root and shake the city of the dead.
How did Bruce find out? He was a smart boy from the start, and it wasn't long that he'd try to peer over your shoulder as you fidgeted with the gadgets you had made, you didn't know the stocks you'd buy for the Wayne company make it into an empire, you just had bought them because they helped you produce some up to tech of the time technology to help you beat the fucking light out of the people that either pissed you off or were trouble in general, yeah, you were angry and upset, but you tried to be a good parent to your sibling, that was why he wanted to join you.
"The bat needs a Robin" "I'm not a bat Bruce, and I hate them" you groaned, haunched over your desk, a picture that would never leave Bruce's memories, not even when you were sucked into the warp of the timelines, never to be found again. "Let me be your Robin" "Whatever, pass me the tape"
The reader is the original, the first bat, the one that was the foundation, the sibling, the parent, Bruce's beloved sibling.
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boostergold07 · 3 months ago
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dc art dump of stuff i’m the most proud of from these past few months!1 thank u gotcha for gaza for forcing me to work on my art !!!
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