#Though I don't believe that the party would actually attack or hurt it. If it was before the bigfrin fight maybe but post canon no.

[torchstelechos]

In an instance where the party met or had to deal with Mal du pays, I think they could theoretically do damage to it despite the fact that Siffrin could not. Specifically because I think, as Mal du pays is Siffrin's saddness/trauma taken form, that it would allow the party to hurt it. As I think that Siffrin would allow his loved ones to hurt him, as long as they stayed with him for a moment longer.

[piracytheorist]

Twilight Eyes Project: "Secure a Wife" (part 2)

First part here

Naturally, "Twilight eyes" stay on during his side mission with Franky. Then he bursts into Camilla's party, wounded and disoriented enough to mess up his introduction.

And thus... slightly different expressions from manga to anime.

In the manga, it's full-on Twilight eyes. Brow going downward to the center, focused and narrowed eyes. The anime has the first two, though as of focused eyes... they make use of animation to show he's so shaken he can't focus his eyes on one place. His slip-up does look funnier when he's trying to present himself as Very Put Together™ as he does in the manga, but I think it's funny either way. Also, I appreciate the small extra whump bone from the anime.

Continuing on the humorous aspect, he switches all the way to reassuring Loid eyes as he tells everyone how absolutely, definitely normal his situation is. No biggie. Just a head flesh wound. He sleeps those right off.

"Loid eyes" stay on as he continues his ploy. Nothing to see here, please continue, are you having fun, my dear wife whom I definitely did not meet just a couple days ago?

Those eyes keep up until Camilla tries to embarrass Yor in front of everyone with details about her "past job"... and here goes.

Loid eyes. He will show everyone how proud he is of his wife.

But then, slowly, his eyes don't look so strained anymore...

... until they're outright sad eyes.

The direct proof (along with the short flashback) that what Twilight says there is the truth for him: he doesn't judge Yor, instead, he honestly supports and praises her for her dedication and her strength.

And when he finishes his praise, he looks towards the others... and the audience doesn't get to see his eyes.

Yor does.

And the truth she sees in his eyes is enough to not only bring tears to her eyes, but to also stay with her and give her strength multiple chapters/episodes later.

This smile isn't the one he actually gave her. But it's the one she remembers.

(Wrong angle in the anime, but we can forgive that)

They leave Camilla's party, get attacked by the smuggling ring, Twilight knocks a few of them out and tells Yor to run for it, Twilight eyes on as he keeps himself alert for any possible attack.

Yor voices her worries about the well-being of his "patients"... and what else can he do but put on the Loid eyes. Which I'm actually sure weren't necessary with her, lol.

Unstoppable force (Yor believing everything she sees and hears) meets immovable object (Twilight suspecting everything and everyone).

Subtle Twilight eyes as he starts to question... well, his own judgment, at this point 😆

They get attacked, and Yor kicks a guy into another dimension before he can hurt Loid. And!

I would just really like to know what his thought process here was. This look is on the verge between "Loid eyes" and "real eyes". But this next panel/shot feels like it's closer to "real eyes".

He was actually amused by how far she kicked that guy, huh 😆

They kick a few more guys' asses, then Yor drops the "why don't we get married" question. Twilight is, understandably, shocked and confused. It's actually something he'd planned for, but it came unexpectedly and just so freely and willingly from Yor.

When his mind picks up from the shock, he puts on the thought process.

And we get investigative eyes.

Twilight accepts, gives her the best marriage proposal to ever grace a screen, starts with Loid voice for "Even in sickness, or in sadness," and switches to Twilight voice for "No matter what hardships await us, let us be there for each other."

Twilight eyes as he finishes his vows,

And... this, as he thinks "Until my mission do us part"

I want to make it clear that I completely doubt he'd already grown any feelings for Yor already. Probably the only thing he'd feel for her at that point was that he sympathized with her mental fortitude and willingness to sacrifice herself in order to protect and support someone she cared about. The pleasant face he has at the end could be merely his expression of relief that the mission was going smoothly.

But then, isn't that what becomes the foundation of the feelings he'll grow later? The relief that she is the kind of person who will protect the peace he fights so hard to maintain himself? A relief that will grow strong enough to lead him into revealing true parts of himself to her?

There's definitely a lot to take away just from the way Twilight's eyes are drawn, in any case.

(anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[lilbitdepressed27]

Heyy… Can i ask for Tara x Reader? Where Tara and R (they have been dating for a very long time now) had a fight at the party and at the fight Tara says about ‘she’ll let go of R’ and then at the third act instead of Tara, R is about the fall and Tara is holding her. She’ll eventually has to let go of R. (reader might get a bit more than Tara did)

Tara Carpenter/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Angst but happy ending

WC: 3.4K

Authors note: hope you like it and sorry for the wait. Sorry for any mistakes. Also kinda of a rushed ending. Didn’t really now how to end this one but hope you enjoy:)

~~~~***~~~~

You clenched your jaw at what you were seeing. All day she had begged you to go to the stupid frat party. You had wanted to stay in and have the movie nigh that was planned. But no, some douche bag had invited your girlfriend to party and now she just had to go. She had begged you to go with the promise that she would stay by your side. You knew how much she had wanted to go back to normal. How much she wanted to live the life of a normal college student. So you had agreed.

But upon arriving to the party she had disappeared from your side. Leaving you alone at party you did not want to be in.

It wasn't long till you saw her again talking to that creep Frankie. When you and the group had first arrived in New York that guy had tried just about anything to get with Tara. Completely ignoring the fact that Tara has a girlfriend. You had not felt threatened not in the slightest. You had fully trusted Tara. Frankie was a pig and total creep. But as time went on you had become to feel, insecure? Tara had not payed any attention to Frankie. But as time went on you noticed that she also wouldn't stop his advances. Always humoring him when ever he would talk to her.

You had spoken to Tara about it. She had promised that she didn't care about him. That you shouldn't worry and that she didn't even notice. That the only person she could ever love was you. And you had believed her. But lately you had begun to, doubt that. The way she been acting towards you, and not even you but towards her own sister as well.

You and Sam were kinda of alike when came down to wanting to protect Tara. Maybe you were bit overprotective as well. You were just afraid, you had come close to losing Tara last year. You had been away at a soccer game when she was attacked. On a school bus on the way back to town when you had been called by your best friends mom. Judy had called you and you remember the emotions when you heard that Tara had been attacked. You'd never forget it. It was a reason why you were so protective of her. Losing the woman you love was something that had your heart in a tight fist.

Your eyes quickly searched the area when didn't see Tara. Catching her back side as she walked through the crowd. You quickly followed, wanting to make sure she was okay. Your first tightening up when you saw Frankie leading her by the hand up the stairs. You were quick to take a hold of the hand not being held by the creep.

"She's good down here."

"Oh hey babe. He's just gonna give me more beer." Tara spoke her words coming out more slurred than before. You avoided her gaze. Your eyes never leaving Frankie's.

"Yea we're just getting more drinks." He smirked down at you. His attitude only irking you more. Taking a few steps closer. Pulling on Tara, she had stumbled into you, her other wrist still being held by Frankie.

"No we're actually leaving. Now let her go."

"No I don't want to leave. Ugh y/n you're just like Sam. So fucking boring and paranoid. Just let me go."

"Oh you heard her. Let her go. She don't want you no more." He laughed.

Although the words hurt. You kept your grip on Tara. Even though she didn't deny what Frankie said. You took the last step towards him pushing him hard enough to lose his balance. He stumbled back causing him to let go of Tara. You pulled Tara towards you and down the steps. Sighing in relief when you saw Mindy and Anika standing there. You had gently pushed Tara into Anika's arms.

Before you could follow them towards the door, a hand roughly turned you around. You prepared for a punch but it never came. What came after was Sam showing up and tasing Frankie in the balls. You would have laughed but the way Tara had snapped had your group of friends leaving the house in a quick pase.

You watched as Tara argued with Sam. You knew Sam was taking everything Tara was saying to heart. Sam had spoken to you about wanting to go back to college. Wanting to chase the career of being a cop. You were happy for Sam, you wanted her to do what made her happy.

"-And you. What you can't be far from me for few fucking seconds?! Can't you fucking let me go for a few minutes without you hovering." She yelled at you.

You didn't think you were hovering or being clingy cause that's how she just made you feel. Clingy. You just wanted to make sure she was okay. She didn't experience the fear you went through when you almost lost her.

"Let you go?" You scoffed. "You mean let you go with that creep? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you even know what he was going to do?"

Tara stood there not being able yo say anything, she knew what she wanted to say but her mouth remained shut.

"Do you even care? Cause I've told you how I've felt but you've always pushed that talk a side, bottling everything up."

"Of course I care, I just want have some space. You have to let me go Y/n. I've already let you go."

You wanted to cry, but you bit your tongue in hopes of keeping your emotions in check. Was she breaking up with you? You couldn't understand what she was implying. After everything you both had gone through, was she really throwing it away?

"MURDER!!"

Everyones heads had snapped towards a girl who had been shouting at Sam. Going as far throwing a drink at Sam. Looking for an outlet for your emotions, your threw your own drink, it was a water bottle that you had only taken one sip from. Chucking the drink straight at the girl and hitting her directly on the forehead. The girl yelled some more before her own friends pulled her away.

You didn't turn around hearing Tara and the rest of the group walking away. Ethan giving a few napkins to Sam before also walking away. Once alone you finally let a few tears out.

"You know she didn't mean it like that." Sam spoke softly to you. She knew Tara would never yell at you like she just did, Tara was just taking out the anger she felt towards her at you. But the way you looked at Sam made her own tears build up. She knew how much you loved Tara. The words Tara had yelled at you were for sure knifes to the heart.

"Come on. Let's go home."

*

When you arrived at your shared apartment. A part of you wished that you had gotten your own apartment, and that you didn't share a room with someone who clearly thought you were clingy. She didn't say that but she clearly had implied that. And who might have broken up with you.

You heard Tara in your shared room. You sighed, you needed a change of clothing. You walked into the room, avoiding Tara's gaze as you searched for some sweats and a hoodie.

"Y/n I'm-Not right now Tara." Once finding the clothing, you left the room not wanting to talk to her in the moment, afraid you'd cry if you did.

*

Everything had happened so fast. From the killings being announced to the blame being put on Sam. Quinn had said that her dad wanted to talk to Sam. You had moved quickly following Sam out the door, Tara had also followed. Even though there had been some tension between you and Tara. From the phone call Sam had received when you had been heading to the station. You still held her hand as you hid from ghostface in a bodega.

Your heart hammering in your chest as you hand slipped Tara's hold when the shot gun rang out. Sam and Tara had gone one way and you the other way. Moving slowly as you crouched down eyes connecting with Sam as she looked at you through the gaps of the shelves. With your hands you motioned to tip over the shelf. She nodded, looking back at Tara to tell her the plane then looking back you with a nod.

Hearing ghostface grunt from the force of two shelves falling on him. You ran out of the store right behind Sam and Tara. Tara's hand finding yours again. The police had arrived not even a second later. They had taken the three of you into the station.

Ghostface was back. And this one wasn't playing around.

                  **~~~~**

You were sat back in your shared room, everyone had been gathered back at the apartment. After being released from the police everyone had met on campus. You had almost laughed when Tara had punched Gale. You knew she deserved it but a little part of you had felt a bit bad. She had lost the man she loved last year after all.

The emotions you had towards the fight with Tara had been pushed to the side. But now in a small moment of peace and silence. The emotions came back. The doubt, the insecurity, the feeling of Tara not loving you no more came back. You had just gotten changed, back from a shower. Sam, Chad, Mindy, Anika and Tara were in the living room or kitchen. Quinn in her room with some guy most likely.

The uncertainty of your relationship with the woman you love was-

"Y/n? Can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about. You made yourself pretty clear." You spoke as you leaned down to tie your shoes. You needed something to do with your hands. You couldn't look at Tara, cause you knew if you did you would burst into tears.

"Y/n please. I didn't mean what I said. I was I was just angry and I took it out on you. It wasn't fair to you." Tara moved to sit next you. She had regretted the second the words left her mouth. She had wanted to talk to you the second you arrived at the apartment with Sam. But the way you had brushed her off, she knew you needed space.

"But you know what they say, a drunk mind is speaks a sober heart. So there had to be some truth behind what you said." You said after a moment of silence. You could practically feel the tension in the room. You stood up, moving to leave the room but her hand shot out to taking to your wrist.

"Wait Y/n please, you have-Uh guys foods ready."

Knowing the conversation was put on pause, Tara let go of your wrist. Following you out the room. She couldn't help put have your words repeat in her head. Did you really think that she didn't want you around. Yes she's been stressed lately but never to the point where she didn't want you around. There were many times where she craved your presence. To be honest she didn't remember much from what she said last night. But from what Mindy told her, it wasn't good.

She took in the way you didn't look her way. The way you know felt uncomfortable around her. It was like the first time she met you. How closed off and shy you were. How you barely let anyone around you. The walls you around your heart had been easy for her to climb over. But now here she was once again on the outside. It was something that she hated to see.

The way you would shut down, she was told how you would get in trouble as a kid for showing too much emotion by your parents. How your excitement was always squashed down by others who did not care. Or how your last girlfriend had berated you for being too protective, too clingy, too...you. She had promised, swore that she'd never be like any of those people.

Seeing you not be yourself around her, was her fault. There was no one else to blame but herself.

*

Ghostface had attacked again. This time seriously injuring Anika. Almost succeeding in killing her. She had been rushed to the hospital, Quinn had not been so lucky.

The events that followed had been a bit of a blur for you. From trying to trap ghostface only for it to back fire and ghostface to successfully attacking Gale. Now the group was back in the theater turned shrine of all the past ghostfaces and their victims. You had stood back next to the ticket stand. 

"Hey.."

"Hey." You hated how, you know felt like you couldn't be yourself around Tara. Tara is the love of your life, she's your person. But you couldn't help the feeling.

"Y/n I hate this. Please. I didn't mean a single thing I said. I was angry and I know thats no excuse but I love you. I love you so much and I can't-Tara watch out!"

You pulled her towards you at the sight of Ghostface sneaking up behind her. You acted quickly. Kicking Ghostface in the stomach. Chad had arrived in time to help you as he also grabbed what ever he could to hurt Ghostface.

Everything had happened so quickly one second you were helping Chad and the next you had been knocked down by another ghostface. Tara had moved quickly to help you up. You tried to move to help Chad but was stopped by Sam. Ignoring the screams of Tara as you now also held her back.

You had no choice but to run away. Hoping to find a way out.

*

You still couldn't believe that it was Ethan and Quinn behind the masks. And the mastermind behind everything was Detective Bailey. You couldn't believe Mindy had been right.

"Come on Tara! Go you first." You helped her climb the side railing. "Sam! Hurry up!" You felt horrible leaving Kirby on the floor but you had no choice. Quickly following Sam. Tara stood on top helping you steady yourself on the ledge.

Tara took your hand as she followed Sam. Keeping a strong grip on your hand. She couldn't afford on losing you. Even if thing between you two were tense, she couldn't lose you. She'd rather die than to lose you which is why her grip only tightened when the gunshots rang out. Feeling your body weight pull on her arm as you slipped from the ledge. Your grip on her hand slipping, but you were quick to take a hold of the ledge.

Sam and Tara were able to take a hold of your wrist but your arm had been cut and your blood had made it hard to keep a good grip on you.

"Fuck. I can't, I can't grab on."

"Hold on baby. Please." Tara cried, as Ethan went under you and tried to stab you with his knife.

"Come on Y/n, I promise I'll be gentle."

"Fuck you." You desperately tried to take a hold on Tara's or Sam's hand. But you were slowly slipping. The sound of loud stomping footsteps had caused the three of you snapped your heads to the right, only to see a toothless Quinn.

"You guys are so fucked now."

"Tara. Tara!"

Her head looked back down at you. Her eyes filling with fear and tears. Your look of determination, but also acceptance?"

"Let me go."

"What? No!" She her head as she tried to tighten her grip on you. She wasn't sure what you were thinking, how you could possibly think that she'd let you go and let you fall to your certain death.

"Tara let me go. Trust me." You tried to show her that you weren't scared. That you knew what you were about to do. Moving your gaze to Sam. You knew Tara wouldn't let you go. You knew that she'd rather fall with you. But you couldn't have that. She needed to help her sister. You and Sam had shared a look. She nodded as she handed you the knife.

"Sam no!" Tara cried as her grip began to slip more, you were no longer trying to hold on to her. The moment your fingers grasped the knife, her hold completely slipped. Only being able to scream as she watched you fall in to Ethan's knife.

Sobbing as she watched you get stabbed more than once before you stabbed Ethan in the mouth. Faintly hearing a shot as she watched you fall to your side.

"Y/n! I'm coming. Just hold on baby. Hold on."

You really did try, but the pain you felt had been overwhelming.

*

The faint noise of a steady beep was heard when you came back to. Your eyes opening only to squint them at the bright light. The last thing you remember had been Tara leaning over you as she cried, her mouth had been moving but her voice had been muffled. Before you blacked out.

Now you were obviously in a hospital bed. Your tilted the side when you heard the familiar soft snores. Tara was sat by your bed side. Her hand lightly holding yours as she slept. Her head resting on the side of the bed next to your joined hands. She was sat in a way you knew was uncomfortable.

“Tara.”

At sound of your voice she shot up. Her eyes connecting to yours as they filled with tears. Barely able to keep in the sob that wanted to escape. She was quick to wrap you in a careful hug. You could feel her shoulders shaking as she hugged you. You were glad that she was okay. Your arms wrapped around her as well. Hoping to comfort her. You weren’t sure where your relationship stood with the girl but you still loved her.

“I thought I lost you.” Tara had broke down when she saw your unconscious body laying there. The dread and anguish that washed over had been immense.

“I’m right here Tara. I’m okay, are you and the others okay?”

She leaned back from the hug, but never let you hand go. Choosing to hold your hand in between hers in a strong grip.

“Yea. They’re okay. So is Chad. He’s fine. Out of surgery and looking to make a full recovery.” She took you in. The way your face was bit pale, from all the blood loss, the bruises and cuts that were more noticeable. But she noticed more was how you refused to look into her eyes.

“Y/n I’m sorry, I know what I said hurt you. At first I didn’t remember what I said, but now I remember. And I do not feel that way. I love you, I love you with all my heart. What I said was not true. I don’t know where that came from. I just remember feeling so angry. And I took it out on you.” She tried to blink away the tears but it was no use.

“When we first dated, I swore to myself that I’d never be like your ex. That I’d never make you feel unwanted or unloved. And, fuck I broke it. I treated you horribly when you’ve been nothing but supportive and caring. I’ll understand..I’ll understand if you don’t, if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”

You lightly pulled on her hand. Her eyes looking away from your joined hand to look into your eyes. You hissed as you scooted to the side of the bed. Making room.

“Come on. Lay with me.”

“Wh-What?”

“I’m not breaking up you Tara. I mean, don’t get wrong I was hurt. But I love you too and we’ll be able to work on this. Now come on lay with me. I’m tired and I know you are to.”

She hesitated, not wanting to hurt you. But from another pull of her hand she was quick to lay with you. Careful not hurt you. She laid her head on your shoulder. Relaxing in your embrace. Feeling so grateful to still have you with her.

She’d work hard to make it up to you.

:)

[darkspellmaster]

I have a couple questions if you don’t mind?

1. Why do you ship Lizzy n ciel?/gen. I personally don’t ship them since they’re cousins and it could be considered a proship based on that-

2. Do you believe in the r!ciel is the mastermind theory?/gen

As interesting as it is, I don’t personally believe in it. But I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

I'm gonna answer two first because I thought a lot about it.

2. I think R!Ciel is and isn't the mastermind. What I mean is that I think he was part of the reason for the death of Vincent and Rachel, and why it happened, but he's also the victim of his own hubris and his actions as a child.

I honestly believe that R!Ciel has some sort of brother complex with O!Ciel. Every line he says regarding O!Ciel has an undercurrent of something being not okay with him allowing his brother space to be his own person. He's codependent in a lot off ways. When O!Ciel said he should play with Lizzie, R!Ciel basically told him he'd rather stay in and play with him. The going to the lake, it was clear that R!Ciel wanted to stay home too and felt sad when told to go with the family to have fun. He goes out of his way to get him stuff to help his cough (though that could also be him trying to make O!Ciel sick, but I doubt that), and we've seen that he insists on taking pictures and doesn't like it when O!Ciel leaves his side. The two biggest ones though is the Chapter where Dee is making food with R!Ciel and Vincent and when Vincent mentions Weston and having house brothers, R!Ciel gets this look in his eyes that is just blackness as he says that he doesn't want fake brothers. Then there was his whole freak out when O!Ciel told him he wanted to be a toy shop owner in London and insisted that he was going to do it too. My honest to god guess is that R!Ciel was convinced somehow, probably at a party, that the best thing to do was get rid of his father so that he could be Earl and order O!Ciel to stay with him. As he told O!Ciel even if he has Lizzie there he would rather be with him. Because Sebastian, the dog, was tied up, I think it would have had to have been R!Ciel, or someone the dog trusted and clearly he was locked up so he wouldn't be hurt. This is where I think R!Ciel comes in for being the Mastermind. My guess is that after his talk with Rachel, he realized that the only way to get what he wanted was to get his father out of the picture. He probably didn't want his mother to die, but she seems to have gotten in the way of the attack. I don't think he killed the dog either. What I think is that our main big bad came up with a way to kidnap Vincent, or told R!Ciel that was the plan, or at the very least intended to harm Vincent. The deal probably was that the person would make sure he and his brother would be together forever. So R!Ciel agreed, let the persons in, after locking up the dog, and probably attacked Tanaka when Tanaka caught him and realized what was going on. The person I think behind all of this is Viscount Druitt. He's in every important arc, either in person, a part of it, or mentioned. In the Red butler arc he was a suspect, in Curry arc he's a judge, in the Campania arc he's part of the Aurora society and tries to become an emperor. In Weston he's the way that Derrek Arden is alive. In the Green Witch he's show to be a Prefect and went to school with Vincent, Dee and the mysterious Violet House Prefect. (By the way Yana tends to like to hide things behind word balloons I've noticed or covering the eyes). We haven't seen him in the Blue Revenge or Blue Memory arc yet, but he'll likely show up at some point. So my money is on him manipulating everything from behind the scenes for some reason. 1. There's a lot of reasons I ship Lizzie and Ciel. The main one being I actually like how their personalities click. Ciel respects and cares about Lizzie. He's amazed by her and probably was a bit jealous of his twin due to their relationship, though he never seemed to show it. We know Ciel can get upset and jealous when it comes to Lizzie as he broke a damn vase when he couldn't draw her into the show. He's gone back for her and protected her a number of times: The bear, and the boat are the top two in the manga. Plus standing up for her at other points too.

Not only that but he also helped her to come out of her shell after the Campania and be her strong self as well. He lets her hug him and Sebastian pointed out that he only sleeps well when she's around.

Lizzie has shown protection for him too. In the Campania, rooting for him during the cricket match. And in the Demon Six issue she fought with Charles Grey to stop him from going after Ciel. So we know that she cares deeply about him. She brings out the best in O!Ciel and in turn he brings out the best in her.

Another reason I'm okay with the shipping is that traditionally in nobility it was common place to marry your first cousin. Queen Victoria and her husband Albert were first cousins. Several members of the royal family have married distant cousins over the years, even the late Queen Elizabeth and her husband prince Phillip were cousins. So that isn't something that bothers me. The way I see it it's following the tradition and it makes sense for the siblings to have Lizzie be with R!Ciel since the boy doesn't seem to be able to defend himself very well . And it would make sense for Lizzie to protect O!Ciel from others due to his illness. She nearly beat Sebastian until he had to go harder on her and she held up to one of his punches well enough that she was able to speak before passing out. The Girl broke glass with her sword going through it! I think she'd be a good defender to him. Lastly, I sort of see the pairing as maybe yana's way of doing the snow Queen. In a side chapter we've already seen Lizzie as Gerta, who is looking for her best friend Kai, who was taken by the snow Queen. Kai in this case, is Ciel, and the Queen is Sebastian. If you know anything about the story then you know that part of the tale is about two friends growing up to be adults through various adventures to find one another. Or Gerta to find Kai. Also Ciel has the mark on his right eye, the same place the Queen put an ice shard in Kai's eye to make him follow her. There's also the fact that Sebastian calls her the child of the sun, and one of the aspects about her is that Lizzie melts Ciel. So that's another reason why I ship them. As for the pro vs anti shipping thing, I tend to stay out of it. I'm not a fan of Ciel x Sebastian because he's a demon that wants to eat him, and it's strange to pair them up. But I'm not going to dictate to anyone who they can and can't ship. I'm very old school in the ship and let ship mindset. If I'm not a fan of the pairing I just move on, unless the story is just that good and then I'll skip over the pairing I don't like. Simple as that. I have nothing against people that don't like the Lizzie x Ciel pairing, just as I hope others don't have issue with my liking of it. Hope that answers your questions.

[graveyardcuddles]

If you attack ascended Astarion at the epilogue party as a mindflayer, all the rest of the companions will join in the attack with you. Which doesn't make a ton of sense from my perspective because frankly, they should all be just as scared of mindflayer Tav as they are of ascended Astarion, if not even more so. Let's just be real and admit that Astarion, as "mean" as he is when he breaks up with mindflayer Tav, is 100% correct. Tav is not Tav anymore. Ilithids don't have souls. They're not a person anymore. And Tav can prove it by attacking him out of the blue at a peaceful-ass gathering. Even Astarion with how cruel and egotistical he becomes when ascended is still more "human" than a mindflayer because he at least retains his soul and personality, as warped as it becomes. That's all besides the point, though.

My main point it I just find it weird how so many so-called Astarion "fans" revile in this scene and find it so funny how Astarion "gets his comeuppance" in this scene or whatever. And I don't know about anyone else, but I find this scene incredibly sad and tragic. Both Astarion and Tav have lost themselves completely (Tav even more so than Astarion, I would argue). And it kinda baffles me how so few fans of Astarion can see how much he's clearly hurting here as well?

He claims he hasn't thought about Tav in the past 6 months, and he delivers the line in a way that is clearly meant to sting as much as possible. People point to that moment as a "gotcha" moment that Astarion genuinely doesn't miss Tav. But he then immediately contradicts this a few sentences later when he says thinks all the time about what could have been if they had stayed his consort and never became a mindflayer. And that all his power is nothing without Tav by his side (paraphrasing).

"OH he's just manipulating Tav" why would he say anything that would make him look weak or vulnerable? If anything, he should be bragging about how GREAT he's doing without Tav. How awesome his life as a vampire lord is without them. And at first he does just that, the first half of the conversation is all bragging. But the longer he talks to them, the more the little hurtful truths slip out behind the hateful words. Like for as much as fans claim to understand that Astarion will often say one thing but mean another some of them sure are shit at being able to tell when he's clearly covering up his hurt with vitriol.

And again there's something weird about cheering on mindflayer Tav when their turn can be considered just as tragic as Astarion ascending. Like don't get me wrong I enjoy letting a monster do their thing. But it's like this weird double standard where mindflayer Tav's monstrosity is good and cool to idolize and joke about them wanting to eat the brains of their friends but the second someone has fantasies about being Astarion's consort they need to be psychoanalyzed.

And it's also ridiculous that if you even so much as suggest that hey, maybe there's more going on with ascended Astarion than meets the eye, maybe he actually is suffering in his isolation, ect. you get called a delusional idiot because people just really want to believe Astarion is truly a 100% different person from his ascended self when that's simply. not. true. Again the writers have confirmed the ritual didn't consume his soul. The ritual amplified all his worst personality traits that he already had.

I'm not saying you need to love ascended Astarion BUT if you love his character for what he is you should be able to at least appreciate him. You should be able to at least find him tragic and compelling. Kinda annoyed that many fans, who are seemingly uncomfortable with being confronted with this side of him, would rather turn him into a big joke or reduce his full spectrum of emotion to just "smug apathy."

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

ouroboros rambles chapter 2

you guys seemed to like the chapter 1 rambles, so here is chapter 2!

[spoilers for isat and twohats below the cut]

i would like to start by saying that we all need more mirabelle POV fics in our lives. she deserves only the best.

I always really liked how Mira didn't just. get over act 5? like, the things that siffrin said were hurtful! yes! and she loves him! even after that! but it doesn't erase the pain and the conflicting feelings regarding it, especially because of the no-spoilers rule... which we will get more into i proMISE! in any case I was focused a lot on the fact that Mira post canon is dealing with a Lot, what with everyone still believing that she was chosen by the Change God and yknow. saving Vaugarde, and Siffrin's overall condition doesn't help! She wants him to be okay and safe, and she has already shown that she feels immense guilt over not being able to help siffrin during the loops, so I kinda leaned hard into that.

The entire party is about to be So Tired Of People.... especially The Introverts (Odile, Mira, and Siffrin)...

The fucking cart thing came to me out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where or why that bit came around.

Siffrin sleeping habits analysis. siffrin sleeps all curled up like a cat most of the time? theyre small scrappy, but not really the most physically strong (before the loops), and i imagine more than a few years of traveling alone would train him to be ready to protect themselves however they can, even in their sleep. I think that this eases up a bit as they get comfortable with the party, which leads to them being able to sleep "normally". but of course, that is how they wake up in the loops. negative association and trauma from waking up back in the meadow..... i don't imagine they'll be going back to that any time soon.

I do have a Full Catalog of Siffrin's injuries (because im actually insane) but that will be talked about in my chapter 3 rambles. for now though, all im gonna say is that Siffrin definitely kept the stars hidden. In my headcanon, healing craft only works when you can actually pinpoint a wound, internal or external. I'm more inclined to believe that siffrin healed them up the best they could on their own after to hide them.

Ohhhh odile. my beloved. i have so many feelings about her and how she processes siffrin's issues postcanon. feelings i will not get into until next chapter. sorry lmaoooooo. All you gotta know for now is that once she starts seeing things, she can't stop. the signs appear everywhere, and she very quickly puts the pieces together from that point. All it takes is one domino to start the cascade, and Odile is the kind of person that WILL get to the bottom of it all, no matter what it takes.

Mira's guilt. Oh man. There are some ways in which her and Siffrin are very alike, and this is one of them. She's justified in being mad, yes, but that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't want to BE mad. She hates it. because she knows now that siffrin was suffering. She defeated the king, saved vaugarde, but the cost was her friend's health and happiness. siffrin said that they were happiest they'd ever been with the party... and yes, siffrin loves them all deeply, but she never could have wanted that love to come at such a great price.

Mira has gotta be TIRED. girl healed siffrin a grand total of (checks my page of notes from act 5) six times. with very little cooldown. and that was AFTER deflecting the ONE SHOT KILL attack from the king (which, even with the carrot method shield, does at least 1/4 damage) and unfreezing siffrin....ough. let her rest!

i love torturing isa using his crush. its so funny. bro is a disaster. brain completely short circuits at the thought of siffrin in his clothes i can IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY.... odile is gon abe homophobic soon /silly

Siffrin's wish... this scene was really important to me. Just for clarification (and this will become a LOT more obvious later), I don't really regard this scene as Siffrin getting over what happened? Because he definitely isn't. But they have already literally let go of their wish, and I wanted to explore a more… intentional version of that? its long-lasting effects are still there, mentally and physically. it doesn't just go away. But it has served its purpose and this is my way of showing the transition point from the loops and their future with their family.

Also!!! the idea of mourning something that no longer serves its former purpose, a life you cannot get back. Siffrin can never go back to who they were before their wish. They have been fundamentally changed as a person. And while the wish did bring good things, the flipside is that it also dismantled their entire worldview and life in its entirety. They died from this wish, suffered because of it, but the meaning behind it remains, and i think that this scene kind of shows the idea that siffrin still feels compassion for what it originally meant to them. its a bittersweet reality.

[tlbodine]

Overthinking: Say Cheese and Die

Say Cheese and Die! is the fourth classic Goosebumps book. It's written in third person (which would soon become nearly completely phased out in the series) and features more of an ensemble cast than anything we've yet encountered. It's also a Goosebumps story that feels more Fear Street-like to me, but we'll get into that later.

I remember reading this one as a kid, although I don't recall having strong opinions about it one way or another. I was probably about 11 when I read it, checking it out from the library during a summer when I read a lot of Goosebumps (and other books).

So, how does it stack up against others that we've read? Is it worth a read as an adult? And, most important of all, is it still scary? Let's find out as we continue on our quest to Overthink Goosebumps.

First, the Plot: We begin in the little town of Pitt’s Landing, where we meet our gaggle of friends: Bird (the jokester), Mike (the fat one), Shari (the chick) and Greg (the sensible one). They have some other personality traits too but…not many tbh. They’re bored and decide to amuse themselves by exploring an abandoned house where resident weirdo goth/homeless eccentric Spidey is known to hang out. While poking around, the crew finds a Polaroid-style camera.

Greg (played by a lil baby Ryan Gosling in the TV show) likes photography and becomes immediately enamored with the new camera. But when he asks Mike to pose for a picture, Mike falls through a bannister and hurts his leg. When the picture develops, it shows Mike falling — even though he fell *after* the shudder snaps.

Later, Greg takes a photo of his dad’s car, only for the photo to show a mangled wreck. Not long after his dad is in an accident and totals the car. He takes a photo of Bird that shows him sprawled on the ground, not long before he’s knocked out with a baseball to the head.

Does this camera capture the future, or cause bad luck? Greg isn’t sure, but he wants to get rid of it. But first Shari convinces him to bring it to her birthday party and snap photos of her. But she’s not even in the frame — she’s disappeared from the shot! Not long after she disappears for real. Cops show up, they question Greg, everybody is real on edge and he doesn’t think anyone will believe him about the camera.

He rips up the photo of not-Shari and then….she’s back! She reappears with no memory of where she’s been for two days. Weird!

Now Spidey (remember him?) shows up and skulks around for a bit. Greg and Shari go back to the house to return the camera and find Spidey, who reveals that he 1.) is a scientist who 2.) helped invent the camera but 3.) stole it from his partner so he could have all the glory so 4.) his partner cursed the camera and it ruined Spidey’s life by killing everyone he knows, I guess?

Idk man, at one point he literally says, “I’m evil, you see.” So that’s about as much motivation as this guy is operating with lol.

Anyway now that the kids know his secret (??) Spidey won’t let them leave so there’s a tense chase scene and at one point Shari takes a picture of Spidey which literally causes him to have a heart attack and die (!!) and they pretend they just found his body like that when they call the cops later.

And then at the end a couple bullies we briefly met earlier find the camera and the cycle starts anew or whatever.

Overthinking It: The goofy title and skeleton family suggest a book of a significantly different tone than what you actually encounter within the pages. All things considered, Say Cheese and Die! feels like an unusually somber Goosebumps book.

I didn't have as much fun with this one as the others I've read so far. It feels bloated, for one thing, with a lot of its word count spent on character banter and frankly pointless small talk. I mean, for fuck sake, we spend actual pages admiring a Ford Taurus and its (checks notes) cup holders. Characters will say things and then other characters will say basically the same thing again. Unless of course they’re just cracking jokes. The banter may have annoyed me less if I liked the characters more, but no one stood out strongly enough for me to feel any real connection.

It’s usually explicit that Goosebumps characters are 12, but I don’t remember that being stated here. I feel like Greg’s crew come off as a bit older, which is one reason this feels more like a Fear Street title to me.

There’s also the matter of the scares. Usually, the Goosebumps books we’ve seen so far have had a supernatural threat standing in for unsettling real dangers. Here, the camera may be supernatural, but the nature of the threat is mundane and uncomfortably realistic. This isn’t a guy turning into a plant or a dog growing as big as a pony, this is friends and family having accidents and getting really hurt.

Normally I might like the sense of real stakes and danger, but in this case it falls flat for me, I think because the book just isn’t very *fun*. A Goosebumps book should have some sense of novelty and adventure to it, a capital R Romantic desire to be in the story even though it’s scary and dangerous. You want to play with that weird slime. You want to see the plants with human faces. We don’t get any of that texture here.

The idea of a camera that predicts the future could have been interesting if the characters had leaned into that more, like if at first they took snaps as a form of fortune telling before they realized it was actually cursing them. But instead the characters bafflingly insist that the camera is “broken” as if that in any way could explain its photos. This is an instance where insisting on skepticism just makes you sound stupid.

“My camera curses people” is a problem with a really simple solution, which is, stop using the camera you dumbass. It’s not like this was a curse set in motion that you are now powerless to stop. You could sell this concept if you leaned into the cosmic horror angle of it, if someone became so obsessed with trying to figure out how it worked that they couldn’t stop themselves from using it. Or if the camera itself could seduce you into using it. But we don’t really get either sense here. Mostly we just see Greg being sad and scared and lonely and worried about people as he gets buffeted around by the plot, which is largely nonsensical.

What was the invention Spidey was so eager to steal? A camera that doesn’t need film or batteries? A camera that tells the future? It’s never clear what the big deal is about the pre-cursed camera or why it would be worth screwing a partner over for it, much less why scientists were working on it to begin with.

Not only is Spidey a poor villain based on his lack of motive, he’s also absent throughout most of the book. There’s no real sense of malice coming from him. It would be one thing if Greg was being harassed and stalked and it was plausible that Spidey was the one causing all the bad things to happen, but that’s not really set up or hinted at.

The whole thing just feels poorly conceived and thin. The title and cover are the only really memorable things about this, which is a real shame because there are several directions it COULD have gone that would have been really interesting. Oh well.

If you liked this, THESE will really give you goosebumps:

For all my belly aching, the idea of a cursed camera can be compelling. For a very similar premise executed much better imo, turn to Stephen King’s novella The Sun Dog, wherein a dog keeps showing up in photos….and it’s getting closer.

For another excellent and chilling take on the "I did something bad and now all my photos have unsettling shit in them, I think I'm cursed" motif, try Shutter, either the 2004 Thai original or the 2008 Japanese remake.

If you like the idea of teens trying to escape an inevitable fate, the Final Destination movies are a classic. (The first two are the best, becoming increasingly silly as the series wears on). For a similar take in a different direction, by Stay Alive, in which a group of teens who die in a video game soon after die in real life the same way. (It's not a good movie, but it is a fun one).

So, those are my recommendations. Do you have any camera horrors to recommend? Any Say Cheese and Die apologists out there?

[originalleftist]

PSY-OP ALERT:

Sorry for how long this ended up being, but there's a lot to cover. My sincere gratitude to anyone who actually reads through it.

We have seen again and again how easily supposed progressives, even those considered long-time allies, can quickly fall into believing and acting on fascist psy-ops.

There's no sure way to know that someone is a trustworthy ally. One might say that there is no such thing, since everyone has faults and blind spots and prejudices and is hypocritical to one extent or another.

But here are a few common ways in which so-called Leftists, progressives, feminists, etc get duped into supporting fascist agendas. It's both a litmus test of sorts, red flags that someone may not be as reliable an ally as you think, and also a good shortlist of major narratives the Right uses to try to infiltrate and co-opt progressive communities and divide their opposition, which you should be on the lookout for.

1. Ukraine/Russia. If someone is defending Putin or vilifying Ukraine, they are likely being influenced by Kremlinist-fascist propaganda designed to sway Leftists under the guise of being "anti-imperialism" or "anti-war". This is a larger subset of how opposition to wars and imperialism has been used for decades to draw Left-wingers into supporting conspiracy theorism and hypocritically aligning with dictatorial, even fascist regimes that are seen as opposing "the West".

Note: a specific subset of this, which I've found even people who otherwise don't necessarily fall for it sometimes do, is Assange apologism. Julian Assange is not simply a journalist who was persecuted by the government for exposing its secrets. He is closely-aligned with the Kremlin and its propaganda, and leaked information selectively to hurt Clinton/Democrats help Trump during the 2016 election.

2. Covid. Anti-vax conspiracy theorism used to be a position more associated with the Left, though it has been largely coopted by the fascist Right, thanks to Trump. A lot of this was built on opposition to capitalism/big corporations/"Big Pharma" and probably also environmentalist concerns about toxins in our environment, which appeals to Left-wing sensibilities.

There's also a heavy dose of ableism, particularly fear-mongering about/misrepresenting autism, which is another prejudice that has appeal across the political spectrum. Even if one accepted the (widely-debunked) claims linking vaccines to autism, that means that the central premise of the anti-vax agenda, when you strip it down to its core, can be summarized as "Your child is better off dead of a deadly disease than alive and autistic."

We might also have a word here about support for DNRs*/"assisted dying"/euthanasia and making "assisted dying" more accessible to disabled people, typically framed as letting them "die with dignity" without actually providing them the support that would let them LIVE with dignity (see Canada's MAID controversies). Though I am pleased to see pushback from Left-leaning parties on this recently.

*I should note here that I do not oppose DNRs in principle, nor the right of any patient (assuming they have the ability to do so, and if not that's what living wills are for) to refuse medical care. I DO have a problem when people are mislead or pressured to choose them, or even have them issued without their knowledge/consent (as in the widely-reported case of people with disabilities being given DNR orders in the UK).

3. Trans Rights. Many a proclaimed feminist has shown their true colours once the subject of trans rights came up. Falsely attacking trans people as male predators or fake women does not protect women- trans people are actually one of the most likely groups to be subjected to sexual violence, and if one wants to prey on women, there are far easier and less-stigmatized ways to do so in our society. Transphobia also ultimately serves to oppress cis women, as women who do not perfectly fit white patriarchal standards are investigated and accused of being trans (as seen with anti-drag laws potentially criminalizing non-traditional dress choices, and the attacks on cis female athletes of colour, particularly at the 2024 Olympics).

4. Israel/Palestine. Many so-called Leftists have embraced conspiratorial and even outright genocidal Anti-semitism masquerading as opposing "colonialism" and genocide. This narrative seems to rest on two primary lies- the claim that Jews are not indigenous to the Levant, and therefore colonizers (this is contradicted by overwhelming historical, archaeological, cultural, and genetic evidence), and the usual group-think/collective guilt and "us vs them" mentality (the belief that all Israelis/Jews are collectively guilty for the crimes of the Netanyahu government, and the belief that the rights of Palestinians and Jews cannot coexist, but one must come at the expense of the other).

5. Johnny Depp. Many so-called "feminists" quickly embraced or at least turned a blind eye toward misogynist abuse and conspiracy theories from incels/"Mens' Rights Activists" against a queer activist and DV survivor, out of fandom for Johnny Depp (who also has close ties to both the Kremlin and Saudi governments). Presenting Depp as "the real victim", and Heard as a fake victim undermining "real victims", and as a privileged elite using "white woman tears" to gain sympathy, were other ways in which the Right played on Leftists' sympathies and rhetoric to co-opt them in this case. Amber Heard hate/Johnny Depp fandom is a clear indication that a "progressive" or "feminist" can be swayed to abandon their convictions by celebrity/fandom, and/or lacks understanding of Intersectionality (ie how someone could be relatively privileged in certain ways but still disadvantaged in others, particularly against someone like Depp).

6. Immigration. Many supposed Leftists have proven susceptible to narratives accusing immigrants/foreigners of "stealing" jobs from the working class, while the reality is that immigration also creates jobs (more people means more demand for goods and services), automation is a threat to jobs that has nothing to do with immigration, and immigrants often do jobs most Americans don't want to (which is actually exploitation-in typical DARVO fashion, immigrants are vilified for their own exploitation). Anti-immigrant rhetoric is a divide and conquer tactic used by oligarchs to keep the working class fighting each other, instead of focusing on who's really exploiting them.

7. Housing. Attacks on the Unhoused are one of the most acceptable forms of bigotry in our society on both Left and Right. Often this boils down to simple selfishness- whatever a person's abstract political views, they don't want to see "homeless" or "poor" people around, falsely equate them with criminality/drugs, and are worried about the effect of encampments or even the construction of low-income housing on their property values.

These are all ways in which the Right commonly infiltrates and co-opts Leftwing circles, and pits its opponents against each other (divide and conquer). Of course, there are other issues, other examples. This is not a definitive list. So its important to learn to recognize patterns, so you can spot psy-ops/divide and conquer tactics in other forms/on other issues.

One frequent pattern in these narratives is of course collective guilt/guilt by association: Ukraine is bad because it is aligned with the West, Russia is good because it's against the West. Heard is bad because she's a (relatively) rich famous white woman (somehow Depp isn't, as a rich white man). Israel/Jews are evil because of the crimes of the Israeli government, Hamas is good because they're against Israel. Related to this is the use of DARVO tactics to allow oppressors to falsely claim status as victims, further muddying the waters (and a hard argument to counter, because anyone guilty of it can immediately accuse anyone who points it out of doing the same thing). Assange, an oppressive of the Kremlin, is painted as just a heroic journalist persecuted for exposing the truth. Depp, an extremely wealthy, famous man with a long history of racism, misogyny, violent criminality, and ties to the Mob and dictatorial regimes, is the helpless victim of his ex-wife/a feminist conspiracy. Upper/upper-middle class home owners are the real victims because poor people exist in their communities. White workers are the real victims, not immigrants exploited as cheap labour who don't dare complain if their rights are violated because they might be deported.

A third common trick is to simultaneously paint the target group as a deadly, even existential threat, and as pathetic and weak. This seeming contradiction is a hallmark of fascist propaganda specifically (Umberto Eco listed it on his list of 14 traits of fascism). For example, unhoused people are all lazy pathetic drug users, but also criminals destroying our neighbourhoods. Amber Heard is both a talentless, obviously lying gold digger, but also powerful and competent enough to terrorize her husband (in his home, surrounded by private security on his payroll) for years and mastermind a vast international conspiracy spanning a decade to frame him. Ukraine is not even a real country, but also a huge threat to Russia's security justifying its invasion (propagandists often sidestep this absurdity by simply treating Ukraine as an extension of the US/NATO- this allows them to simultaneously portray Russia's genocidal war as the underdog defending itself against "Western imperialism", and to reinforce their genocidal narrative that Ukraine is not a real nation).

Learn the tricks. Call them out when you see them. And if someone else says you're falling for them, don't get defensive and immediately double-down- listen and consider whether you are, in fact, being misled.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

Oh my goodness, I’m so happy you like this AU idea! I was honestly thinking I was being crazy thinking all that information (I don’t know why but I’m just obsessed with that movie and could just watch it endlessly)

Also I guess it wouldn’t hurt to add a little more information, if you like it (I’m honestly obsessed over this AU, my Autistic ass won’t let it go 😂😭)

Darling might own a dog (A gentle and sweet bloodhound) and since she’s so busy with work she has her relative, her aging Uncle watch him since he’s mainly alone living in the woods (Her Uncle loves her dog since he’s a sweetie) however he was the first of La Squadra’s victims (La Squadra took Darling’s dog out of curiosity on the life on this planet)

Maybe Leone also works with the Police (He deserves to be happy) and when Darling mentioned the spacecraft and the strange looking people, he immediately got chills and called Bruno to tell him the news

He also gives Darling and Trish an Ultimatum either they stay in their house or he’ll keep them in the Police Station in a cell (All while keeping cool about what’s actually happening since he needs to warn Bruno)

Darlings dogs name is Pearl, very lovely but with Pagliaccio she gets aggressive. Barking and growling whenever Bruno or gang are around. Of course darling is weirded out when Pearl is barking at the window at night at what she assumes is nothing.

When La squadra did break into her house, Pearl immediately attacked one of them but they captured her, interested by the idea of domesticated species from earth and they take her back to the ship to research.

Of course darling is mortified finding the house ransacked as well as both her uncle and dog missing a goes to report it to Abbacchio who comes to investigate it and finds something he knows is Pagliaccion and immediately takes her back to the station and questions her on a few thing before leaving and darling calls up Bruno explaining what happened. Bruno being a good friend of darling picks up Trish and brings her to the station.

Abbacchio's tells darling it's too dangerous for her to go back as the culprit clearly didn't break in to steal their possessions. He knows her uncle is almost certainly dead but doesn't want to tell her that without something humanly reasonable to prove it. Due to the danger he suggests they stay the night at the station just in case they find a lead. They can get there stuff packed in the morning and make arrangements to accommodation. When Abbacchio finally gets his break he meets up with Bruno to explain it. They have to tell her but how do they explain it to darling without her...

A) not believe then

Or

B) getting scared off

Darlings friend offers another house they own that's on the outskirts of town to stay at until the investigation is over. On the night she's attacked Trish was out at a party.

I can just imagine darling seeing Pearl on la squadras ship in an enclosure and refusing to leave. She's in tears to know Pearl is alive and is surprisingly being taken care of by these horrible aliens. Don't think though that Pearl would spare the chance to bite one them again.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 21: MY BIRTHDAY PARTY TAKES A DARK TURN

Thank you so much to:

@ary-cm

on Tumblr for the awesome cover image!

I can't believe I'm already almost done with one of the three series?!

PJOPJOPJOPJO

Will read what he was sure to be the last chapter title with heavy concern. What on earth could be left to happen to Percy that couldn't have waited until the next disaster of an adventure to start with?

Nico's heart sunk that's how his appearance was described. Apparently whatever respect he'd gained from Percy was already twisted into fear so early. He couldn't blame him, after what he'd talked him into. A lifelong curse he now had no clue about...

"Please involve something cool and fun for once," Thalia sighed, imagining him having one last fight to the death and passing out on his birthday or something. "Like blacklights! You don't enjoy the effects of those enough!"

"To see all the blood in my room? No thank you," Percy scoffed.

The rest of the summer seemed strange because it was so normal.

Will's tone was happy, hyper even, he seemed genuinely excited he was finally getting to share Percy having a normal time at their camp for actual weeks on end for once.

The daily activities continued: archery, rock climbing, Pegasus riding. We played capture the flag (though we all avoided Zeus's Fist).

"Clarisse actually sat out of most of them," Percy recalled in surprise. "Her whole cabin didn't, but she and Chris helped be the medics for a few fights. It was sooo weird, but it made a lot of the campers who were clearly uneasy about him warm up a bit. Especially when Mrs. O'Leary cuddled up to him too."

"He caught on pretty quick," Will agreed, "he still helps out in the infirmary too when he doesn't really need to anymore," he finished with a significant look at Nico. Most kids didn't seem to care who was helping them as long as the pain was going away, his parentage or whatever he'd done in the past usually wasn't on their mind when it hurt like that.

"Are you sure it wasn't changed to Kampe's fist?" Alex asked when Nico didn't seem to be answering in any way. "The first never even seemed to fit."

"Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to try and get everybody to agree on a new name for something?" Will asked. "Even if we did a poll it would be chaos."

Which was no bother at all to Alex of course, so she looked at him like he was the one who was nuts for pretending that was a good excuse not to.

We sang at the campfire and raced chariots and played practical jokes on the other cabins. 

Will hid well how hard the adjustment had been for him that time marched on. Kids had come and gone from the camp, his siblings hadn't been immune to shocking deaths from a random monster attack in the forest or even defecting, it wasn't even the first time he'd been witness to such a thing, if only a handful of times before; but it was usually the ones who'd been there a few weeks. The kids who he'd barely gotten to know.

Lee had been there from day one. Had shown Will the ropes and been his Luke, his best friend, his go to for advice on everything there. It was strange for so long to not wake up every day and have him rousing them for breakfast. Micheal had never tried to emulate him either, he'd done it his own way, which had been all right, but a part of Will had wished someone in there would keep making Loony Tunes references, would keep challenging them to archery target practice instead of just letting the memory of him slowly fade away. Hearing him in Percy's life had been the most he'd been able to think of him in a few years now, and it felt nice.

I spent a lot of time with Tyson, playing with Mrs. O'Leary, but she would still howl at night when she got lonely for her old master. Annabeth and I pretty much skirted around each other. I was glad to be with her, but it also kind of hurt, and it hurt when I wasn't with her, too.

Percy expected the laughing at the teasing, probably a few snarky comments about Rachel.

None came, and as he looked around in surprise he just saw sympathy. Because he didn't have that option now with her nowhere to be seen. He had friends down here, but he still didn't have someone very important to be going through all of this with him.

I wanted to talk to her about Kronos, but I couldn't do that anymore without bringing up Luke. And that was one subject I couldn't raise. She would shut me out every time I tried.

Jason couldn't let that one go without a good laugh though. "I'm now imagining you following her around and she actually darts into random cabins or bathrooms or anywhere she can to slam a door in your face. Maybe even a window if you agitate her enough."

"You're right Jason," Percy sighed with indulgent exhaustion. "I should have cornered her in the woods, maybe used Grover and Tyson to triangle her in so she couldn't escape."

"You say that like she doesn't need an intervention," Thalia grumbled.

July passed, with fireworks on the beach on the Fourth. August turned so hot the strawberries started baking in the fields. Finally, the last day of camp arrived. The standard form letter appeared on my bed after breakfast, warning me that the cleaning harpies would devour me if I stayed past noon.

Magnus opened and closed his mouth several times like he couldn't decide if he wanted to ask how real that threat was. If he stayed and killed the harpies would he be punished or rewarded for yet another fight for his life? Would they devour him if he stayed until 12:01 or if he managed to avoid them until next summer would the ban be lifted?

He ultimately closed his mouth and decided it wasn't worth the headache.

At ten o'clock I stood on the top of Half-Blood Hill, waiting for the camp van that would take me into the city. I'd made arrangements to leave Mrs. O'Leary at camp, where Chiron promised she'd be looked after.

"Tell me you at least intend on riding her down the streets of New York once Percy," Alex looked rather betrayed such a glorious hound was being confined to one camp.

"She deserves to be on a farm where she can stretch and be happy, um, without the death metaphor," Percy shrugged.

"You can still have her for the weekend," she sighed but didn't argue the point further.

Tyson and I would take turns visiting her during the year.

I hoped Annabeth would be riding into Manhattan with me, but she only came to see me off. She said she'd arranged to stay at camp a little longer.

"I can't decide how the bus should feel about that," Jason told him with an almost straight face. "You now range from blowing them up to awkward silence when she's around."

"He's blown up more on his own in his younger years without her, I think the bus should be worried," Thalia offered.

Percy sighed and muttered something about normal friends, whatever that meant.

She would tend to Chiron until his leg was fully recovered, and keep studying Deadalus's laptop, which had engrossed her for the last two months.

"I think you should be thanking some god out there for making sure she stepped away from it," Will agreed.

"She slept with it, Malcolm has proof," Thalia agreed.

Then she would head back to her father's place in San Francisco.

"There's a private school out there that I'll be going to," she said. "I'll probably hate it, but..." she shrugged.

"Yeah, that but," Percy agreed with the same feelings of awkwardness swimming through him now. A feeling that apparently wasn't as good of a swimmer as him, as it kept coasting up and down his throat like vomit!

"Truancy, something even a child of a wisdom goddess would never break the rules for," Alex agreed tragically.

"Yeah, well, call me, okay?"

"Sure," she said half-heartedly. "I'll keep my eyes open for..."

There it was again. Luke. She couldn't even say his name without opening up a huge box of hurt and worry and anger.

"I'll get the key," Nico promised through gritted teeth.

"Maybe you could lose a few while you're at it," Will muttered. Nico seemed to have been better as of late about not keeping everything so close to the chest, but it was still something he found himself worrying about.

"Annabeth," I said. "What was the rest of the prophecy?"

She fixed her eyes on the woods in the distance, but she didn't say anything.

"You would nag Zeus himself about not finishing destroying you," Alex told him with a hint of awe in her voice.

"Seriously Perce, learn to let it go," Jason couldn't help but agree with a troubled frown. Annabeth had been through enough.

Percy didn't feel particularly ashamed though. His stubbornness paid off, and if Annabeth didn't resent him he wasn't going to let these guys make him feel guilty for getting the full picture. It had happened so rarely before meeting her.

"You shall delve in the darkness of the endless maze," I remembered. "The dead, the traitor, and the lost one raise. We raised a lot of the dead.

Magnus had a cheeky remark on his tongue for, 'who's this we,' before he paused and realized. Bianca might never have revealed herself to Nico if Percy hadn't been there. His coming along on Annabeth's quest was likely essential for that to happen. It hurt his head, a lot, to realize all over again how powerful those fates were to be able to weave together such immensely different and important things.

We saved Ethan Nakamura, who turned out to be a traitor.

A line that Annabeth had probably hoped referred to Luke all this time, Thalia thought miserably. The girl had been a hopeless optimist when it came to him, but that would imply she'd ever fully admit to Luke being a full blown traitor.

We raised the spirit of Pan, the lost one."

"Raised, and or released," Will agreed.

Jason pursed his lips rather than putting in. He kind of regretted his comment to Percy because he loved that they went over these at the end to analyze them, but he felt like he'd only be encouraging Percy.

Annabeth shook her head like she wanted me to stop.

"You shall rise or fall by the ghost king's hand," I pressed on. "That wasn't Minos, like I'd thought. It was Nico. By choosing to be on our side, he saved us.

Nico still smiled at how casually Percy acknowledged the good he'd done on this quest instead of that unfortunate period of threatening his death. Seems Will had been right, Percy really didn't go around saying a bad thing about him.

And the child of Athena's final stand—that was Daedalus."

"I'm sure Malcolm is so relieved," Percy snorted.

"Percy—"

"Destroy with a hero's final breath. That makes sense now. Daedalus died to destroy the Labyrinth.

"Which is very awesome," Alex couldn't deny. "Though I'm still mildly disappointed Annabeth didn't discover some kind of sonic blast breath or something along the way."

"She uses words as a weapon, isn't that enough?" Percy sighed.

"Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary," Thalia nodded in agreement. She'd gotten quite angry in her youth trying to memorize all the homonyms once and thrown it across the room where Thalia's head happened to be.

But what was the last—"

"And lose a love to worse than death." Annabeth had tears in her eyes. "That was the last line, Percy. Are you happy now?"

"No," Percy whispered, shivering for the first time in the cold depths of the ocean. He'd always known she liked him, but it didn't really hit him until now she liked liked him. Not just admired and was impressed, as Percy once was. It left a very dead feeling inside him, wondering what had stopped her from running away with Luke back when he'd tried to kill Percy. If Luke had gone to Annabeth and taken her away then, how different his life could have been without her.

The sun seemed colder than it had a moment ago. "Oh," I said. "So Luke—"

"Percy, I didn't know who the prophecy was talking about. I—I didn't know if..." She faltered helplessly.

If it meant him, Percy clearly understood that context! She'd thought him dead, she might have even thought kissing him was some final breath that had been all her fault!

He found himself scrunched up in his seat to stop himself beating at the walls. He wanted her in here! He wanted Annabeth to look him in the eyes and say she was okay with how this had all gone and mean it! It was probably selfish of him to want her to relieve this nightmare with him, but he ached for her in a new way he couldn't even begin to describe to himself. Annabeth meant so much to him, couldn't her prophecy have mentioned that!

"Luke and I—for years, he was the only one who really cared about me. I thought..."

Before she could continue, a sparkle of light appeared next to us, like someone had opened a gold curtain in the air.

Magnus finally released a breath he'd been holding for getting to jump off the topic of the creepy idea of his cousin hoping some guy twice her age would be in love with her too and instead blanched in horror if that was Kronos/ Luke about to appear from thin air and murder them all. How was it possible her life was so much more miserable and complicated than his?

"You have nothing to apologize for, my dear." Standing on the hill was a tall woman in a white dress, her dark hair braided over her shoulder.

"Oh hey," Alex said with a hint of violence already on the horizon. "She owes you an explanation!"

Percy grinned a scary sight, tapping his fingers impatiently on his leg and glowering at the book. She'd scarred the piss out of Annabeth, her advice had been in no way helpful, and he had a bad feeling already he could blame more on her soon for how miserable this quest had gone.

Jason sighed. Just what they needed, another god for Percy to piss off.

Thalia was glancing uneasily between Percy and Jason though as her own guilty thoughts got an unpleasant jumpstart. Their reaction to her showing up only reinforced in her she was doing the right thing for now, keeping her suspicions to herself. Percy was already unhappy at Hera for his own and Annabeth's past, if he found out what Thalia was considering he'd rip apart the ocean in a heartbeat just to get rid of his growing tension.

Jason, Jason just looked like he would want no part in this. He was too cautious, to content to let things slide. She enjoyed that about her little brother, it would make picking on him much easier and made him nothing like their dad, but for this it felt right to keep him where he felt safe.

"Hera," Annabeth said.

The goddess smiled. "You found the answers, as I knew you would. Your quest was a success."

"A success?" Annabeth said. "Luke is gone. Daedalus is dead. Pan is dead. How is that—"

"Our family is safe," Hera insisted.

Will couldn't help but read that in agreement. He couldn't help but share the sentiment, that the good had outweighed the bad this time. His brother had died, his camp had felt vulnerable and left him scared to sleep at night like nothing before...and yet he still had a bed. Siblings he could lean on. Not all was lost as it could have easily been. There were better paths out there, like if Hera had actually stepped in and banished all the monsters before any of her 'family' had to die, but Will honestly read that with a sense of joy in his tone that, to Percy's ears, had somehow been lacking. Hera had been stating a fact with pride, Will made Percy smile in some sense of agreement of the word family, even if not the whole pie.

"Those others are better gone, my dear. I am proud of you."

I balled my fists. I couldn't believe she was saying this. "You're the one who paid Geryon to let us through the ranch, weren't you?"

Hera shrugged. Her dress shimmered in rainbow colors.

"Taking a rainbow in vain," Alex scowled hotly for such a beautiful representation of inclusiveness being taken hostage by someone so selective.

"I wanted to speed you on your way."

Will's voice cracked, like someone had stabbed his bubble with a knife. He knew Annabeth had a beef with Hera, the whole camp knew she blamed the goddess for Percy missing. His heart broke though that Nico's journey hadn't even been considered in her wisdom? That she'd only paid for just Annabeth's group to get through and any other half-blood could suffer the consequences? That had been Hera!

"But you didn't care about Nico. You were happy to see him turned over to the Titans."

"Oh, please." Hera waved her hand dismissively. "The son of Hades said it himself. No one wants him around. He does not belong."

The pain of hearing that surprised Nico more than the actual words. His dad said it all the time, he assumed it frequently from the few interactions he'd had with these major gods, but for Hera herself to just come outright and say it made him flinch.

Which quickly morphed into admiration when he heard Will cuss. He hadn't seen that before. Sure he'd been angry in the past, but never full-blown swearing like he was doing now. His southern accent really came through too, he was twanging bad on all his i's and drawing them out to a noticeable level.

"It's, erm, not a big deal Will," Nico patted his hand again. Not one person in here looked like they even sort of agreed with Hera, instead they all looked varying levels of anxious at Will and a tad angry too and his behalf. For some reason that didn't surprise him anymore, which surprised him. "We all know that's how the gods feel about-"

"It is a big deal Nico, because she's being a mother fu-"

"Will," Alex sighed, rubbing her temples. "I agree with every word you're saying, but maybe use some other language, oh child of a poetry god."*

Will finally shut his mouth with a restrained grimace. He didn't feel nearly the amount of better as he'd have liked after venting, but Alex looked as discomforted as Nico for once, who was looking equal parts uncomfortable as usual at being so focused on, everybody watching him for his reaction, and just a tad flattered at Will so vehementily defending him; all while looking rather anxiously at the book clearly wondering how Percy had reacted to that.

So Will conceded he'd made himself plain enough while wondering what the opposite of an offering was as he muttered and searched for his place.

Thalia looked on, mildly impressed and perhaps recruiting Will on her kill Hera crusade, while Percy just felt bad the guy was finally at his level of outrage. He hadn't wanted to drag anyone else down with him.

Magnus and Jason were to busy glancing at every speck to make sure Hera wasn't going to appear and blast them all to smithereens to react properly in time.

"Hephaestus was right," I growled. "You only care about your perfect family, not real people."

Will's voice still shook with fury at just how right the god of the forge was about that apparently. When the gods were born, how much understanding did they have? Had this newborn child looked up at his mother and seen the look of disgust on her face before being pitched off a mountain?

It was an ugly truth Will had never really been confronted with until this moment. It made him sick to realize if Luke had been telling kids this kind of stuff all along and how it wasn't that unbelievable to him anymore. He'd never considered the gods perfect, but growing up in camp had always given him a sense they'd at least grown from their first depictions as the very worst they could be called today. They'd laid out a safe space for their kids to practice and grow, they had to have been evolving with the times, if slower, right?

His breath shook loose, a calming feeling as he remembered his dad helping Percy find Artemis and how awkwardly yet fervently Posideon continued to help Percy. None of them were perfect. They were distant and often harsh and more often unhelpful if they did try and tended to make their lives worse, but Hera was just a horrible exception.

Ares and Hephestus, Zeus and Posideon, he'd never really had much firsthand experience with any god except Mr. D and flip-flopped between pitty and heavy annoyance with him with minimal grudging appreciation he didn't just incinerate them all and call it a job done. Percy's adventure in detail didn't really change anything, it just gave him a heavier feeling of what he'd been fighting for than he'd gone to Manhatten with.

It sort of scared him for a moment, actually, as he frowned at the rest of the page and his skin twitched with displeasure at what he'd really just been doing. He never would have considered thinking all that before being thrown in here, let alone saying it out loud, verbosely, and only having to be stopped because someone asked him to. He'd been noting Nico's slow change with enthusiasm, but hadn't really stopped to consider his own until this moment, and it left an uncomfortable knot in him as he continued.

Her eyes turned dangerously bright. "Watch yourself, son of Poseidon. I guided you more than you know in the maze. I was at your side when you faced Geryon. I let your arrow fly straight. I sent you to Calypso's island. I opened the way to the Titan's mountain.

Nico felt his mouth open for several moments before he realized he should close it. Not since the stories of old had he heard such blatant interference, and it kind of impressed him. That Hera had gone so out of her way, unprompted, to help them every step of the way. He'd never have believed such a thing from Percy's own mouth, but to hear it from an Olympian herself was amazing. Like a real flip of the cards to reveal what her plan had been all along and strike down all foes come to life.

It was, of course, possible she'd done all that just to gloat and change history a bit in making her seem like the caring mother her title suggested she could be, Thalia's painful looking sneer proved this wasn't a popular thought, but Nico still found it extremely fascinating. He'd have never wanted such help from a god before all this, every interaction he'd had with them was laced with tension and she herself proved they wanted nothing to do with him in return...but that didn't make this less interesting to hear by a mile.

Annabeth, my dear, surely you see how I've helped. I would welcome a sacrifice for my efforts."

"Do you think anybody sacrifices to her?" Magnus had very mixed feelings about hearing this, Percy was a tad disgusted to hear a touch of pity in his voice. "I think she really did do this, like a kind of adoption?" He didn't sound that sure though. Like a theory he expected to get trashed. He even mouthed 'sorry' to Nico, not trying to disconnect from the fact she didn't do it well! Yet Annabeth's own mother didn't seem to have stepped in here, maybe Hera had really wanted to help and was just out of practice.

Percy strived to keep his voice even and not too harsh in return. "I, um, think it's a tad more selfish. It sounds like she was willing to win by any means necessary, it just happened to align with our means."

Annabeth stood still as a statue. She could've said thank you. She could've promised to throw some barbecue on the brazier for Hera and forget the whole thing.

Jason looked very queasy at all of this, for once instead of being the arguing party he understood both sides well. Juno probably did feel undervalued, with no direct link to those kids at Camp. Her temple dusty, her history rarely spoken of and if so negatively.

Yet, he had a feeling what Annabeth was about do. The same thing Percy would have done. He had almost grown used to the level of disrespect these guys so often showed to the gods, and it froze some inner part of him with dread at the mere bubble of thought, let alone what his ears were about to hear worse than anything Will could have called her.

But she clenched her jaw stubbornly. She looked just the way she had when she'd faced the Sphinx—like she wasn't going to accept an easy answer, even if it got her in serious trouble. I realized that was one of the things I liked best about Annabeth.

"Name a thing you don't like about Annabeth," Thalia rolled her eyes.

Percy opened his mouth, closed it, thought about it for a moment, and then said with confidence, "her love of olives. I tolerate them at best, but she puts them on everything!"

"Ah, the olive theory, a classic," Alex snickered while Thalia just looked at him with complete pity. Gods, boys.

"Percy is right." she turned her back on the goddess. "You're the one who doesn't belong, Queen Hera. So next time, thanks...but no thanks."

"Not really as harsh as I was expecting," Magnus admitted even as his heart tried to jump around his chest like a jackrabbit on crack no matter what he said.

"I guess that was her restrained dismissal," Alex agreed with a tad more disappointment. She'd probably wanted at least one jump scare at minimum to impress her.

"And this was the girl who warned you to be polite to Ares," Jason mumbled through numb lips, expecting her to drop dead any second honestly.

Hera's sneer was worse than an empousa's. Her form began to glow.

"That, is not great," Magnus said with a very dry mouth. Somehow Percy constantly pissing off gods felt like second nature by now, it really wasn't that great of a concern at this point since he was alive.

Where the heck was Annabeth?! Was this curse to be forced to live at the bottom of the ocean meant for her? If so, the digs seemed way to nice, though perhaps by their standards this was poverty?

"You will regret this insult, Annabeth. You will regret this very much."

I averted my eyes as the goddess turned into her true divine form and disappeared in a blaze of light.

Most of the others flinched and instinctively wanted to close their eyes, imagining a mushroom cloud in her wake after that.

Except Jason, who sat frozen in place without the good sense to do anything other than mutter, "uhoh."

Percy sighed, already knowing he'd probably have to tackle this idiot to the ground at least once in his life if he saw something cool enough to kill them all.

The hilltop was peaceful again. Over at the pine tree, Peleus the dragon dozed under the Golden Fleece as if nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry," Annabeth told me.

"She's sorry?" Percy asked meekly, a very strange expression on his face. "Where's my apology?" His tone implied none was needed though, his lips were twitching to much and he kept rubbing his thumb across them. They all figured out what that tone was and collectively decided they didn't want to hear it again.

"I—I should get back. I'll keep in touch."

"Listen, Annabeth—" I thought about Mount St. Helens, Calypso's Island, Luke and Rachel Elizabeth Dare, and how suddenly everything had gotten so complicated. I wanted to tell Annabeth that I didn't really want to be so distant from her.

Then Argus honked his horn down at the road, and I lost my chance.

"Remind me to smack an eyeball onto Argus's sense of timing," Thalia groaned. She would have personally handcuffed the two together if it would have resolved their problems already.

"Duly noted," Percy and Jason both promised, causing the others to snicker hard.

"You'd better get going," Annabeth said. "Take care, Seaweed Brain."

She jogged down the hill. I watched her until she reached the cabins. She didn't look back once.

Percy had never felt so much at once seeing her take off like a blond comet across the green fields. Her confidence in every stride, how happy he was for her she'd finally made peace with her dad and felt no need to look back.

The longing he wished she'd at least slow down, that she'd shove that tenacity of hers in his face and kiss him again when he wasn't about to die. That she'd tell him he was a Seaweed Brain and that her feelings for him were just as complicated as they were for Luke's at minimum.

Will's voice startled him out of his memory, to be dragged back here as lost and confused as ever what Annabeth would ultimately decide was best for her with no clue how to show her it could be him.

He didn't even know who to ask for advice about this. His dad was kind of out of touch at the dating thing, he'd probably just suggest Percy snap his fingers and offer to split the ocean for her or something, or ban him from talking to Annabeth if he didn't already know who she was. His mom was just way to embarrassing to even consider every time her name came up. Chiron, maybe...nope. Still to awkward. He was starting to become more convinced by the hour that lone memory he'd awoken in here with was a dream and a fortune teller was probably his best bet. Gods he was hopeless.

Two days later it was my birthday. I never advertised the date, because it always fell right after camp, so none of my camp friends could usually come, and I didn't have that many mortal friends.

"Do you, have any?" Thalia honestly tried to ask without sarcasm, but it sounded that way anyways.

"Um, I used to cat sit for this really old lady before we moved and she'd give me jelly beans when I walked her dog," Percy shrugged.

"A true bestie I'm sorry we never got to meet," Thalia chuckled.

Besides, getting older didn't seem like anything to celebrate since I'd gotten the big prophecy about me destroying or saving the world when I turned sixteen.

"There are so many themes you could do around that though!" Alex sighed. "I can think of three off the top of my head!"

"Alex can and will make a volcano explode in your apartment," Magnus sighed with full confidence.

"But I'll leave the surprise of who jumps out," she winked.

"Pass," Percy could only say hesitantly though. It sounded fun, he'd never even had a bounce house before...but hadn't it already happened? Retroactive birthday party? Maybe? If he survived another year?

Now I was turning fifteen. I was running out of time.

My mom threw me a small party at our apartment. Paul Blofis came over, but that was okay because Chiron had manipulated the Mist to convince everyone at Goode High School that I had nothing to do with the band room explosion.

"Yes!" Percy fist bumped the air with such exuberance there was yet another new crack in the ceiling. "I thought of that before but didn't know if I'd remember to tell Chiron before I left!"

"Now remember this plan for the next time," Nico chuckled.

Percy sighed at the already assured knowledge there was going to be a next time, but it had been a nice five seconds while it lasted.

Now Paul and the other witnesses were convinced that Kelli had been a crazy, firebomb-throwing cheerleader, while I had simply been an innocent bystander who'd panicked and ran from the scene. I would still be allowed to start as a freshman at Goode next month. If I wanted to keep my record of getting kicked out of school every year, I'd have to try harder.

"You say that like it was your fault," Magnus told him bracingly. "Until someone invents monster repellent, you can try all you like and get nowhere."

He meant it in a positive way, but Percy nodded as glumly as before. It was something he'd heard all his life being ADHD. He'd have to try ten times harder than the 'normal' kids and still never be on their level, which to him sounded like he really shouldn't bother trying that hard at all.

Tyson came to my party, too, and my mother baked two extra blue cakes just for him.

Percy bounced in his seat for a moment with one of the happier grins they'd seen on his face today. Annabeth couldn't or wouldn't be there, Percy didn't feel like his own birth should be celebrated, but his little brother was there. His mom had opened the door and greeted him with a Tyson worthy hug and had extra cake just for him and that was pretty much the greatest birthday present he'd want anyways.

While Tyson helped my mom blow up party balloons, Paul Blofis asked me to help him in the kitchen.

As we were pouring punch, he said, "I hear your mom signed you up for driver's ed this fall."

"Would Percy's bus explosion problem translate to cars?" Alex asked eagerly.

"Gods I hope not," Percy sighed.

"I'm not sure I get the stereotype about New Yorkers and driving," Magnus admitted. "You have to walk everywhere because the streets are horrible, but if everybody walks or takes the subway why are the streets so bad?"

"We're fearless about any obstacle but are to impatient," Percy grinned.

Magnus might as well have asked him to spell out those Canadian monsters names again for all the light that provided on the subject.

"Yeah. It's cool. I can't wait."

Seriously, I'd been excited about getting my license forever,

"Pretty sure that's something we look forward to from the time we're born," Will said wistfully. He'd spent the whole day of his sixteenth birthday on the chariot track, imagining it as his dad's sun-mobile. He'd spent the previous week painting it bright red and everything and, according to his own imagination, won every Indie 500 Race that day.

Only to have several of his siblings show up and hog the races the rest of the day from the rest of camp to make that a reality. Kayla had even painted brands and logos on some of them for authenticity while Micheal and Lee somehow always had the dastardly bad luck of fumbling the finish so Will could sail through.

It really had been a good day, and only a tad bittersweet at the end as he sat on the roof of his cabin watching the sun go down, his prayer unanswered of hoping his dad would just make an appearance, let alone let him touch the sun. Austin had assured him that night as he flopped into bed they'd all made that wish and Apollo hadn't answered in centries for any of his kids, just another day.

but I guess my heart wasn't in it anymore, and Paul could tell. In a weird way he reminded me of Chiron sometimes, how he could look at you and actually see your thoughts.

Will realized his thoughts had drifted him into a melancholy mood, and trying to jump right back out, he offered, "hey, did you know Chiron will help kids at camp get their license if they want to. He does something with the mist, gives them papers if they need it, but they still have to pass on their own merit," he finished with a grin at remembering Connor nearly drove his practice car into a jewelry store and still insisted it was an accident. It probably was an accident, but it was still funny too.

"I was actually wondering about that for a second," Magnus told him gratefully. He knew he was out of luck on that front and would likely remain homeless forever because of it, but for once this Camp finally had a solid, irrefutably good thing he might be able to look into.

 I guess it was that teacher aura.

"Is the dark turn Paul's been a secret FBI agent all along infiltrating the school," she paused with a wild gasp, "or your family! And he reveals the secret conspiracy of hauling you all away to Area 51!"

"Alex," Percy sighed with a good-hearted grin. "You are going to be excellent at whatever you decide your life is."

"Living that dream," she smirked.

"You've had a rough summer," he said. "I'm guessing you lost someone important. And...girl trouble?"

"I guess we know who the problem child is, the ones the parents gossip about," Thalia did a pretty good impression of an ornery older sister to Percy's ears while he flushed and muttered a bit about how he wasn't surprised this had come up with his mom.

I stared at him. "How do you know that? Did my mom—"

He held up his hands. "Your mom hasn't said a thing.

"Oh," Thalia sounded as stunned as anybody while Percy went from shocked to pleased the fastest. Percy had never really missed his life as a mortal, he'd spent to much of his younger years being the odd kid out to even know what that felt like but at this moment he knew that if Paul was the dad in his life that he didn't have to be, things would have still turned out all right for him.

And I won't pry. I just know there's something unusual about you, Percy. You've got a lot going on that I can't figure. But I was also fifteen once, and I'm just guessing from your expression...Well, you've had a rough time."

I nodded. I'd promised my mom I would tell Paul the truth about me, but now didn't seem the time. Not yet.

"Save that for his birthday," Jason chuckled, "see how long he thinks you're pranking him and asking for his real present before it sinks in."

"Well I know who I'm scratching off my next guest list," Percy rolled his eyes.

"I was on the list?" Jason looked surprised, which Percy hoped was a joke. Obviously everybody in here was.

"I lost a couple of friends at this camp I go to," I said. "I mean, not close friends, but still—"

Will looked touched all the same Percy didn't go back to his home and try to forget it even happened. Maybe the next time there was a war council meeting and Lee wasn't at the table Percy wouldn't just blink and breeze right past it like it had entirely left his mind.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. And, uh, I guess the girl stuff..."

Percy had never been the greatest with his words. He had no more clue what to say to Paul than to Annabeth herself, how to get started on her and Rachel and Luke and the constant question mark bouncing around in his head. It wasn't because of Paul though. He'd stood there waiting patiently the entire time as he'd gathered his useless thoughts and then scraped them at least five times.

"Here." Paul handed me some punch. "To your fifteenth birthday. And to a better year to come."

We tapped our paper cups together and drank.

Percy couldn't have asked for a better toast. Any year had to be better than the one he'd just had. Right?

"Percy, I kind of feel bad giving you one more thing to think about," Paul said. "But I wanted to ask you something."

"He asks you if you're a half-blood?" Thalia asked, because really, it had to be something with Paul. Maybe he could see through the Mist too and never knew how to say it before he saw Kelli.

"Is he going to ask what he should have gotten you for your birthday?" Will asked, imagining he'd gotten Percy, like, a black puppy that turned out to be a hellhound too or something and that was the 'dark turn.'

"Is he going to ask to move in already?" Magnus asked, no clue how fast these things were supposed to go, but it felt like 'a step,' worthy of including Percy.

"What is the capital of Bulgaria?" Alex chuckled.

"Yeah?"

"Girl stuff."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Oh gods," Jason's mind started spinning like a guinea pig. "He's not going to ask you what he should get your mom for her birthday?" 

"Sounds, um, kind of nice?" Nico offered. Percy obviously got along with Paul, maybe Paul was looking for a way to spend more time with him.

"Your mom," Paul said. "I'm thinking about proposing to her."

"Oooh," all seven of them said with the same blank look. That was, so beyond the scope of their understanding honestly, they barely knew how to react to that other than nonplussed, maybe a little mild pleasure. None of the others really had a great enough relationship with their own mortal parent to process entirely what was being said.

I almost dropped my cup. "You mean...marrying her? You and her?"

"Sally and Paul, sitting in a tree," Thalia burst out singing with surprised laughter.

Percy came out of his dumbfounded state enough to react to that and give her a shove. He was happy for them, a hundred percent. Really, it wouldn't even be that weird, the guy was over all the time anyways. He just didn't even know how to process something like this because it didn't involve stabbing something.

"Well, that was the genera idea. Would that be okay with you?"

"You're asking my permission?"

Paul scratched his beard. "I don't know if it's permission, so much, but she's your mother. And I know you're going through a lot. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't talk to you about it first, man to man."

"Man to man," I repeated.

Percy had never been called anything more than his mom's little man before. He found himself sitting up straight in his beanbag chair, smiling with a new kind of pride.

It sounded strange, saying that. I thought about Paul and my mom, how she smiled and laughed more whenever he was around, and how Paul had gone out of his way to get me into high school. I found myself saying, "I think that's a great idea, Paul. Go for it."

It had felt like the obvious answer the moment he'd said it. Paul had looked him right in the eye while asking, despite their height difference. He was always there for his mom, he'd never made her cry. Percy didn't even know what else people needed to be in a marriage, but he already knew it would be better than what she'd had before.

He smiled really wide then. "Cheers, Percy. Let's join the party."

Percy had followed him with a strut in his step he'd never had before. His imagination had already been going wild, asking Paul to help him put on those weird monkey suits he'd only seen on TV. Would Paul ask Percy to call him dad? How upset would he be if Percy never wanted to?

But his mom...those seemed like minor problems when he could already feel the happiness through a kind of faith alone he'd never had for the gods that she was never going to stop smiling after this day.

I was just getting ready to blow out the candles when the doorbell rang.

"Did you make a wish?" Thalia asked with interest. The only time she'd ever managed to sit down for one of her birthdays was over a trashcan fire with Luke and Annabeth. They'd found some lumpy, frozen chocolate that had clearly all once melted together and were chipping it away, the two teasing her not to blow out their 'candle' that was keeping them warm, and she'd only promised her wish would be it never did. Other than that experience, she had no clue what someone would wish for.

"Yeah," Percy grinned without elaborating. It had just been a feeling really, of hope, that everything would be okay. He'd bottled it up tight and been about to exhale it onto that candle as a kind of offering all its own to the cosmos when that knock had interrupted him. He tried not to frown at that being some kind of bad omen.

My mom frowned. "Who could that be?"

It was weird, because our new building had a doorman, but he hadn't called up or anything. My mom opened the door and gasped.

It was my dad.

Percy had instantly felt zapped, shrunk back down to twelve years old again and seeing him for the first time on Olympus. He'd wanted to load him into a taxi and have some fairy tale ending. Instead, he'd told Percy he regretted him being born.

He was wearing Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and Birkenstocks, like he usually does. His black beard was neatly trimmed and his sea-green eyes twinkled. He wore a battered cap decorated with fishing lures. It said NEPTUNE'S LUCKY FISHING HAT.

"Pos—" My mother stopped herself.

"What kind of fake name could she have even given?" Alex asked in amusement. "Pos, pause, pus," she kept trying to enunciate that into something and looked increasingly frustrated coming up with nothing. "Posterior? Pustrami? Pussudinym? Postumus? Possible? Positive, Pustual, Potter, Pos-"

"Posey?" Percy offered. That was a flower, and a girl's name, right? Then he went crosseyed as he realized what he just suggested his dad should go by for any length of time.

"Yes! Great one Percy!" Alex cackled in delight.

"I think we could go through every religion to find his alter ego and he'd still rather just go by his own name," Will finally interrupted the madness with a laugh.

She was blushing right to the roots of her hair. "Um, hello."

"Hello, Sally," Poseidon said. "You look as beautiful as ever. May I come in?"

"Can you say no to that?" Magnus stage whispered.

"I wouldn't want to try," Percy shrugged though because it was his dad, not in general.

My mother made a squeaking sound that might've been either a "Yes" or "Help." Poseidon took it as a yes and came in.

Percy shook his head at the six of them getting a good laugh out of that, Thalia of course escalating it by giving him a hearty clap on the shoulder and saying, "well, now we know where you got that from too."

"I don't squeak," he finished with a long, exhausted sigh knowing he couldn't really deny any such thing.

Paul was looking back and forth between us, trying to read our expressions.

Jason nodded in understanding. Some random guy showing up probably had Paul instinctively worried about Gabe showing up, if Sally had shared anything about him at all.

Finally he stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Paul Blofis."

Magnus crinkled up his nose in disgust at the idea of a creepy, three-eyed monkey coming to mind who always introduced himself like that at the end of those old cartoons. He'd really hated that thing. It had nothing to do with Paul, it was just a bad name association.

Poseidon raised his eyebrows as they shook hands. "Blowfish, did you say?"

"Ah, no. Blofis, actually."

"Oh, I see," Poseidon said. "A shame. I quite like blowfish.

"Poseidon's favorite son confirmed," Will snorted.

"At least it's not Antaeus," Percy shrugged.

I am Poseidon."

"I kind of like that better," Alex said. "Just come right out with it, why hide?"

"I think we just heard Alex's life motto," Nico grinned.

"Poseidon? That's an interesting name."

"Yes, I like it. I've gone by other names, but I do prefer Poseidon."

"Like the god of the sea."

"Very much like that, yes."

"Well!" my mom interrupted.

"I have never thought of your mom as a killjoy before this moment," Thalia admitted. "Even when she's being boring and safe and loving, telling you not to die and be careful and all that nonsense. This, this I would have paid to see how long your dad would go on like this."

"She's a little stressed," Percy shrugged, "and she gets a free pass."

"She gets all the free passes," Thalia nodded in agreement.

"Um, we're so glad you could drop by. Paul, this is Percy's father."

"Ah." Paul nodded, though he didn't look real pleased. "I see."

"Oooh, jealousy," Alex snickered in surprise.

"I'm guessing Paul's not his biggest fan," Percy agreed, confusion mixed into every syllable of how he felt about this. "My mom always made sure I knew my dad didn't abandon me, but you know, I was a little kid. I don't think Pual would have taken to that lost at sea thing. He probably wants to speak to him man to man too," he finished with an awkward smile he'd definitely have to be a part of that conversation to make sure nobody got turned into blowfishes.

Poseidon smiled at me. "There you are, my boy. And Tyson, hello, son!"

"Daddy!" Tyson bounded across the room and gave Poseidon a big hug, which almost knocked off his fishing hat.

"Naww," Magnus smiled in surprise.

"It was that or Tyson was going to burst into tears of joy or something," Percy grinned in relief at this choice.

Paul's jaw dropped. He stared at my mom. "Tyson is..."

"Not mine," she promised.

"Legally," Percy mock whispered, using air quotes and everything.

"It's a long story."

"I couldn't miss Percy's fifteenth birthday," Poseidon said. "Why, if this were Sparta, Percy would be a man today!"

"That's true," Paul said. "I used to teach ancient history."

Poseidon's eyes twinkled. "That's me. Ancient history.

"Have the gods written a memoir?" Jason asked with a false amusement meant to hide his instant need for such a thing. "An autobiography? A manuscript? A rough draft I could steal?"

"Jason, that last one could count as high treason, worse than stealing the bolt," Percy told him with wide-eyed concern that wasn't really mocking.

Jason laughed like he was kidding, but even to his own ears he knew he didn't convince anyone.

Sally, Paul, Tyson...would you mind if I borrowed Percy for a moment?"

He put his arm around me and steered me into the kitchen.

Once we were alone, his smile faded.

Percy sighed as that chapter title came true, again. He wished they wouldn't even be there to kill his blue skies, always looming over whatever nice moment he'd been having. Like storm clouds rolling in and chasing everyone off the beach. His dad hadn't done it on purpose he was sure, it had just instantly killed his mood.

"Are you all right, my boy?"

That immediately felt like the storm running out of rain though as Percy smiled. Chiron had called him that many times, but it had never hit as hard as that did.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I guess."

"I guess," Thalia nodded without surprise. "You know Percy, you don't have to guess every question you're given."

"I'm right like, fifty percent of the time," Percy shrugged.

"I call bullsit on that number," Jason scoffed.

"And I'm to bad at math to do the actual percentage," Percy scoffed right back.

"I heard stories," Poseidon said. "But I wanted to hear it directly from you. Tell me everything."

"See, this is why they invented cellphones though, to avoid awkward moments like this," Magnus said with a twitchy feeling in his gut. The gods popped up at any old place now, yeah been there done that, but something about Poseidon being in Percy's apartment was giving him a feeling of anxiety. Ever since Gabe had left, Percy had always felt safe there, and though his dad was clearly no threat to him, it felt invasive. Like he could hear howls in the distance...

So I did. It was kind of disconcerting, because Poseidon listened so intently. His eyes never left my face. His expression didn't change the whole time I talked. When I was done, he nodded slowly.

"I cannot say I've ever had a god's undivided attention before," Will said with a touch of awe. When Annabeth had done it, he'd been infuriated beyond words. Now his mind felt overflown with jealousy at Percy getting the same from his dad. It really did feel like all or nothing for the Olympians sometimes.

"So Kronos is indeed back. It will not be long before full war is upon us."

"As opposed to the minor battles you've been dealing with," Nico sighed.

"What is war if not just for a bunch of little battles," Thalia agreed.

"Violent," Alex offered.

"Profitable," Percy raised his hand for something he actually remembered from a class.

"You two think you're so clever," Thalia scoffed.

"What about Luke?" I asked. "Is he really gone?"

"I don't know, Percy. It is most disturbing."

"But his body is mortal. Couldn't you just destroy him?"

"We've been asking that since he summoned a scorpion and tore a rip in the air with a sword," Magnus said, and by we he clearly meant himself.

"Mortal, perhaps, but there is something different about Luke, my boy. I don't know how he was prepared to host the Titan's soul, but he will not be easily killed. And yet, I fear he must be killed if we are to send Kronos back to the pit. I will have to think on this. Unfortunately, I have other problems of my own."

"That, was the best summary of the gods, and I didn't even have to Sparknotes it," Nico sighed. Yeah, your problem sucked, but I'm busy with other things!

I remembered what Tyson had told me at the beginning of the summer. "The old sea gods?"

"I wonder if Oceanus is listening in on us and muttering about how his strategies still would have worked," Thalia said with interest. She wished he wasn't such a reclusive old nut, she'd have liked the chance to hear the perspective of an old Titan.

"More likely he'd forget our names every other minute and be whining about how the Olympians run things," Percy rolled his eyes.

"Back in my day we squashed puny mortals on their birthday!" Alex even gave a helpful old man impression again to prove Percy's point, earning a grin from said child of the sea.

"Tethy's didn't seem that bad," Jason was clearly on Thalia's side with a hopeful smile at the door.

"So long as she keeps that thermometer away from me," Percy insisted.

"Indeed. The battle came first to me, Percy. In fact, I cannot stay long. Even now the ocean is at war with itself. It is all I can do to keep hurricanes and typhoons from destroying your surface world, the fighting is so intense."

His dad had been stroking his beard the whole time, a nervous tick Percy had never seen him do before. He didn't have his triton on him, also a first. Poseidon had seemed more human in that kitchen than Percy realized he even could be. Like that delirious moment of him just waltzing back into his mom's life and snapping his fingers to make everything perfect was possible for just this second.

And then what he'd said really sunk in. That his dad, in all his godly power, was already exhausted and torn in half by a war long before Zeus even admitted one was happening. His father, like any of the gods, was far from perfect.

"Let me come down there," I said. "Let me help."

"The summer camp I'm honestly surprised you haven't attended yet," Alex agreed.

"Not for lack of trying!" Percy groaned.

Poseidon's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "Not yet, my boy.

"Yet," Percy sighed, though when he did try and search through his mind to get a glimpse for that feeling, it hurt. A trace of pain lancing through him he had no wish to play connect the dots with in the slightest.

I sense you will be needed here. Which reminds me..." He brought out a sand dollar and pressed it into my hand. "Your birthday present. Spend it wisely."

"Is, that a joke?" Jason asked slowly.

"Um, spoiler, I didn't laugh," Percy promised if it was.

"Uh, spend a sand dollar?"

"Oh, yes. In my day, you could buy quite a lot with a sand dollar.

"Could probably buy a whole sand mansion or something back in his day," Nico snorted.

"Wasn't he kind of born owning the ocean?" Magnus asked. "How rich is he from just all the treasure in the seas?"

"More immeasurable than his already infinite power I'm sure," Percy sighed at them missing the point, as usual.

I think you will find it still buys a lot, if used in the right situation."

"What situation?"

"When the time comes," Poseidon said, "I think you'll know."

Percy sighed at the strange feeling that gave him. Like he knew his dad was right, and it wasn't even particularly painful like the last time he'd just tried to understand this cryptic advice, but it was still as exhausting as wondering whose string those old ladies had cut. Better than sending him another card though.

I closed my hand around the sand dollar, but something was really bothering me.

"Only one something?" Jason sighed. "Because I'm over here losing track of all my somethings."

"I prioritize better," Percy smirked.

"You forget more," Thalia rolled her eyes.

"Dad," I said, "when I was in the maze, I met Antaeus. He said...well, he said he was your favorite son. He decorated his arena with skulls and—"

It had been a really horrible moment in a vast, never-ending sequence of horrible moments down in that maze. Nobody was surprised this one had stuck with Percy.

It was nice he got the chance to air it for once. That Poseidon had a chance to answer for why he'd never stepped in and told Antaeus to knock it off with the murdery entertainment.

"He dedicated them to me," Poseidon supplied. "And you are wondering how someone could do something so horrible in my name."

I nodded uncomfortably.

Poseidon put his weathered hand on my shoulder. "Percy, lesser beings do many horrible things in the name of the gods. That does not mean we gods approve. The way our sons and daughters act in our names...well, it usually says more about them than it does about us. And you, Percy, are my favorite son."

Percy smiled to bright for them to do anything other than smile along, the answer had clearly meant a lot to him that they weren't going to badger for more.

Yet it felt more like a redirect than an answer.

He smiled, and at that moment, just being in the kitchen with him was the best birthday present I ever got. Then my mom called from the living room.

"Percy? The candles are melting!"

"You'd better go," Poseidon said. "But, Percy, one last thing you should know. That incident at Mount St. Helens..."

For a second I thought he was talking about Annabeth kissing me, and I blushed, but then I realized he was talking about something a lot bigger.

"There was something bigger that happened?" Alex said in an oh so innocent impression of Percy's voice.

Percy gave her an eye roll for that, a blush on his cheeks but sinking lower in his seat all the same for what he'd done.

"The eruptions are continuing," he said. "Typhon is stirring. It is very likely that soon, in a few months, perhaps a year at best, he will escape his bonds."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't mean—"

Poseidon raised his hand. "It is not your fault, Percy. It would've happened sooner or later, with Kronos awakening the ancient monsters.

Percy couldn't believe the weight that was lifted off of him, like taking a much needed breath of air. He did still feel the responsibility of that on his shoulders, but for his own dad to assure him it wasn't his fault was unbelievable when he knew best the gods would try and blame this kind of mistake on the easiest target available.

But be aware, if Typhon stirs...it will be unlike anything you have faced before. The first time he appeared, all the forces of Olympus were barely enough to battle him. And when he stirs again, he will come here, to New York. He will make straight for Olympus."

"Oh, so it's not just my birthday that took a dark turn," Percy sighed. "It's the whole stinking continent that's soon going to be covered in ash and blotting out the sun getting a dark turn."

Thalia gave his shoulder a gentle shake and her usual spiel about not freaking out to early while Nico batted his eyes at Percy in surprise. He'd been so sure that stupid thing related to him, that he'd hear Percy's uncomfortable thoughts about inviting him inside to darken his apartment. Percy's wasn't exactly a great interpretation, but it certainly was different than his.

That was just the kind of wonderful news I wanted to get on my birthday, but Poseidon patted me on the back like everything was fine. "I should go. Enjoy your cake."

And just like that he turned to mist and was swept out the window on a warm ocean breeze.

Alex chuckled for a moment before telling Nico, "you still have the best calling card in this one by the way, but Poseidon does get points for spirit on that."

Nico swelled with pride he was being compared to some god other than his dad to care what those points were worth.

It took a little work to convince Paul that Poseidon had left via the fire escape, but since people can't vanish into thin air, he had no choice but to believe it.

"I feel so bad for Paul," Magnus chuckled as he rubbed his temple. "Knowing the answer you're given isn't the truth but feeling crazy there's no other answer."

"Yeah," Percy agreed with a sorrowful nod. He'd felt awful lying to Paul after the awesome talk they'd just had and resolved in himself to tell him the truth sooner rather than later. He hoped he'd managed to do that before this whole disappearing off the face of the earth thing he'd apparently done so his mom had someone to really confide in about her worries.

We ate blue cake and ice cream until we couldn't eat anymore. Then we played a bunch of cheesy party games like charades and Monopoly. Tyson didn't get charades. He kept shouting out the answer he was trying to mime,

"Which is lucky for you because he would have kicked all of your butts being such an awesome artist," Alex grinned.

"I call him on my team!" Jason instantly yelped.

"Hey, no dibs before we even set up our own game night," Alex narrowed her eyes with a menace none of them were sure was entirely playful.

"Got to be faster Alex, sorry," Jason just shrugged smugly.

Thalia loudly cleared her throat to move that on before she had to restrain the two.

but it turned out he was really good at Monopoly. He knocked me out of the game in the first five rounds and started bankrupting my mom and Paul.

"I see Tyson really got all of Poseidon's good traits," Magnus laughed in surprise.

"I call him on my Monopoly team," Alex said swiftly.

Jason sighed in defeat they would switch it up between games and gave in.

"How do you play Monopoly in teams?" Percy asked.

"By making shit up I'm sure," Thalia shrugged at the amount of chaos that was going to happen when this night happened.

I left them playing and went into my bedroom.

"Aw Perce, don't tell me you're a sore loser," Will frowned.

"More like I was getting a headache watching their money move hands so fast," Percy grinned.

I set an uneaten slice of blue cake on my dresser.

Nico smiled in surprise that finally explained why, when he'd materialized, he'd heard shouting in the background like there had been a gameshow on when the TV was off as he'd come in. He'd thought he had shut it off or something crazy when he'd come in with his weird powers and aura and they'd fallen silent upon seeing him. Turned out it was a much more fun, and mundane reason.

Then I took off my Camp Half-Blood necklace and laid it on the windowsill. There were three beads now, representing my three summers at camp—a trident, the Golden Fleece, and the latest: an intricate maze, symbolizing the Battle of the Labyrinth, as the campers had started to call it. I wondered what next year's bead would be, if I was still around to get it. If the camp survived until next summer.

Percy did have another bead on there, of course, and he clasped his fist around the lot now, his throat as tight with worry as ever what had happened between all that. He felt like the best-case scenario was he'd come out alive, but the more realistic possibility was he'd just gone nuts and molded one for himself in a mock victory from his grave or something before being plopped in here.

I looked at the phone by my bedside. I thought about calling Rachel Elizabeth Dare. My mom had asked me if there was anyone else I wanted to have over tonight, and I'd thought about Rachel. But I didn't call. I don't know why. The idea made me almost as nervous as a door into the Labyrinth.

Thalia sighed with guilty relief he hadn't. It would have just been awkward if Annabeth found out about that...and yet she knew from Annabeth Percy had spent a large chunk of time coming up hanging out with Rachel so she was a tad surprised that hadn't started here.

I patted my pockets and emptied out my stuff—Riptide, a Kleenex, my apartment key.

"You kept up with that this whole time," Will asked in complete disbelief. "I need the brightest rainbow lanyard I can find to keep up with my key to my cabin because I keep losing the dang thing and my siblings started locking me out after the seventh time."

"I never lock my cabin door," Percy said blankly.

"You scare kids to much to sneak in there," Thalia scoffed.

"I want to know how and why you got a kleenex," Alex snorted. "And, more importantly, why you didn't offer that to Annabeth when she was sobbing her nose out."

Percy's heart froze and his mind scrambled as he suddenly found himself asking the same thing before Magnus jumped in saying, "probably pocketed it from that meal with Hera, I wouldn't trust that thing not to be poisoned anymore. Grover's probably just immune to such things."

Which didn't make Percy feel better, but did make him laugh for a moment along with the others.

Then I patted my shirt pocket and felt a small lump. I hadn't even realized it, but I was wearing the white cotton shirt Calypso had given me on Ogygia.

"I bet Annabeth loved that," Jason muttered, imagining she'd hardly looked at him the entire time because of the reminder.

Percy had been amazed it held up so well, covered in dirt, mud, and other unmentionable things he was sure. She was probably more amazing with a loom than Circe for giving him clothes he hadn't lost and or torn to shreds.

I brought out a little piece of cloth, unwrapped it, and found the clipping of moonlace. It was a tiny sprig, shriveled up after two months, but I could still smell the faint scent of the enchanted garden. It made me sad.

Percy touched where the little pocket had been over his heart, of course no longer there on his camp shirt. He had done the impossible, he had forgotten about Calypso even for a brief time in all the other madness that went on when he came home. Now it was Annabeth, Rachel, and Calypso all bouncing around in his head like a screen saver all fighting for his attention as his fingers tightened in his shirt before he dropped his hand back to his lap and sighed.

What the hell had Hera meant by it, sending him to her island? Had it been a warning, that all the Titans had faced punishment and Percy had better remember which side he belonged on? Had it been her deranged way of helping, giving him a chance to heal there, a place she knew he'd never stay on?

All he did know was that, like all help with the gods, it felt more harmful than good really. From now on, only his dad was allowed to send him off on vacations, and that was a spotty vow considering he wasn't sure what the outcome of this place was going to be yet.

I remembered Calypso's last request of me: Plant a garden in Manhattan for me, will you? I opened the window and stepped onto the fire escape.

My mom kept a planter box out there. In the spring she usually filled it with flowers, but now it was all dirt, waiting for something new. It was a clear night. The moon was full over Eighty-second Street. I planted the dried sprig of moonlace carefully in the dirt and sprinkled a little nectar on it from my camp canteen.

Nothing happened at first.

Then, as I watched, a tiny silver plant sprang out of the soil—a baby moonlace, growing in the warm summer night.

"I'm surprised Grover didn't sniff that out and eat it," Alex broke the heavy tension falling around them. "I honestly expected this to be mentioned back at camp as an invasive species and D would rip it up and threaten to strangle you with it."

"My brain works in mysterious ways," Percy grinned, a sad but meaningful one to help take his mind off all the bad. "That's probably why it waited until just now, weeks later, for me to ever think of cleaning out my pockets."

"Mmm, yes, mysterious," Alex laughed, because she said mysterious like one would their least favorite kind of cheese.

"Nice plant," a voice said.

I jumped. Nico di Angelo was standing on the fire escape right next to me.

"Nico's back!" Will yelped in surprise. For once he hadn't been tensing up beside him, fidgeting and internally freaking out about this happening, so Will had not a hint of warning any more than anybody else.

"I've been here the whole time you nit," Nico rolled his eyes with a smile.

Will's arm pulled him just another tiny little bit closer as he just laughed in surprise and kept going like the whole room was a bit brighter all of a sudden, making Nico blush and for the first time think of pushing him away making this 'a thing.' It was just a fleeting thought though, one he didn't act on.

Will didn't find it hard to explain to himself why he was so jazzed for this news. It was the very first instance of Nico reaching out to anybody, especially the most perfect person on the planet being Percy with his mom right on the other side of that door. For Nico to get a glimpse of how he should be greeted any time he entered a room.

"Is anybody going to ask how?" Percy yelped loudly, rudely interrupting Will's joyful reading as he stared strangely at Nico. "You appeared out of nowhere dude!"

"Practice," Nico said with pride in his voice, which of course, was no answer.

Percy groaned, Chiron and Thalia were known to do that too so it wasn't just the gods being cryptic and annoying, they were passing it on!

Nico really did give him a sorrowful smile though and pressed his finger to his lips, his skull ring gleaming. They had shadow-traveled a lot in the coming time, and he didn't want to upset Percy now when he saw the last page in Will's hand. They were nearly done with another, no need to go pushing Percy's mind to its limit when he'd get his answer without Nico forcing it on him soon enough.

He'd just appeared there.

"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"That's—that's okay. I mean...what are you doing here?"

Nico inhaled carefully, letting his mind think of that with interest now rather than the little happy dance he'd been doing in his head Percy's first reaction back then hadn't been pushing him off the fire escape in surprise. Now he really heard this for what it was. Not the blatant acceptance he so craved, just Percy reacting to him somehow even better than he had Rachel popping up in his mortal life. It was surprisingly a nicer, warmer feeling than his old feeling he had to keep off any part of his face.

He'd grown about an inch taller over the last couple of months. His hair was a shaggy black mess. He wore a black T-shirt, black jeans, and a new silver ring shaped like a skull. His Stygian iron sword hung at his side.

"An outfit you apparently never changed out of," Jason chuckled in surprise.

"I bet he has a closet full of the same outfit," Alex sighed tragically.

"I like this color," he kept the childish note out of his voice almost well enough. He should get used to defending his odd choices now if he was going to go to camp and hear this over and over...then he was surprised how easily that thought had come to mind. Tartarus had gone to far from his plans, he realized as a cold feeling swept him.

Will's hand curled gently around his arm, a warm pulse radiating from his palm that gave Nico a chance to exhale and focus on this.

"I've done some exploring," he said.

"A common day pirate," Will smiled in delight. "A vassst yee, I shall be tied down to no land!"

"See, now you're getting it," Nico's eyes shimmered with delight at the goofy impression.

"Even pirates need a secret cove to bury all their treasure," Will reminded hopefully. If that's all camp could be to him, a way station of safety, it would feel like enough so long as he'd always feel free to use it.

"Hmm, I'm not much of an artist Will, I'll have to work on getting a map together," Nico couldn't help the glib comment, the wishy-washy response. Despite how comfortable he felt under Will's arm, it was the longest, most permanent feeling he'd ever had in his life up to this point. Something so solid, even more permanent like Will kept wanting still sounded like to much for him to wrap his mind around right now.

"That's okay, I know a good one. X marks the spot and all that," he grinned all the same. He'd still carve that on Thalia's old tree when he got back and knew Nico at least would get the reference.

 "Thought you'd like to know, Daedalus got his punishment."

Will's voice somehow sparked with even more joy getting to read this so soon. He really had wanted to know his fate, and Alex was right there with him, leaning forward eagerly in her seat, her teeth sunk into her lip as she wavered back in forth in her head how harsh she wanted to hear this being.

"You saw him?"

Nico nodded. "Minos wanted to boil him in cheese fondue for an eternity, but my father had other ideas.

Nico had been surprised when he'd showed up in his courtroom he hadn't even needed to step in and offer anything for this. Daedalus had been such a notoriously lost soul for so long Hades had already taken an interest, and swift execution before Nico had even woken up.

Hades had laughed to himself about the cheese fondue idea and even filed it away for later though. As far as Nico knew, Minos was still on his seat at the judge's table, so he hadn't exactly been as punished as Nico would have liked, but hey, you win some you lose some.

Daedalus will be building overpasses and exit ramps in Asphodel for all time. It'll help ease the traffic congestion. Truthfully, I think the old guy is pretty happy with that. He's still building. Still creating. And he gets to see his son and Perdix on the weekends."

It was just the perfect kind of Greek ending really. Quintus, Daeadlus the fifth's body, had had a very long road, and his punishment was to continue making them. It was no reward, but really, it was no great punishment. Hades seemed to have found a stroke of balance in his domain that all wished for really, a kind of medium eternal life after his grand adventure that rocked to many boats.

"That's good."

Nico tapped at his silver ring. "But that's not the real reason I've come. I've found out some things. I want to make you an offer."

"What?"

Percy hadn't squinted suspiciously at him or anything, he hadn't gone for his sword or jumped back in and slammed the window in his face. He hadn't exactly jumped to his feet with delight either and hugged him for finding all this out, so, that had been the highlight of Nico's month.

"The way to beat Luke," he said. "If I'm right, it's the only way you'll stand a chance."

I took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm listening."

Will's voice was so happy as he read that, his pupils kept wanting to jump away from the text to glance at the two with such bright eyes. This, this had been what he'd been hoping for Nico for so long, ever since he'd vanished after the Titan War. He already knew Percy and Nico made an awesome team, the two working together had been the saving strategy and the reason they were probably all alive today. Why did Nico constantly think he wasn't accepted again when Percy had been open and amenable from the start to his plan?!

Nico glanced inside my room. His eyebrows furrowed. "Is that...is that blue birthday cake?"

It had been the strangest feeling, Nico shook his head at himself. He'd been glancing around for an enemy, someone eavesdropping. Instead he'd seen the brightest splash of color, a blue swirl patterned cake with sprinkles. The exact kind of thing Bianca would have smacked his hand for reaching for, telling him he'd get a cavity just looking at that thing.

He sounded hungry, maybe a little wistful. I wondered if the poor kid had ever had a birthday party, or if he'd ever even been invited to one.

No, and no, Nico pursed his lips together rather than answer. Will, thankfully, read right over the moment without waiting for an answer, bless him. Nico still considered himself a no on both too, because he hadn't been 'invited' to this party. He'd gate crashed.

"Come inside for some cake and ice cream," I said. "It sounds like we've got a lot to talk about."

"Everything Percy brags about his mom's cooking is true by the way," Nico said swiftly before anybody could ask questions they weren't going to get an answer to. "It was, the best cake, I've ever had." He smacked his lips in appreciation at just the thought. It had been the most solid food he'd had in months and he was pretty sure his ambrosia had switched to tasting like that for a while.

"We'll get her her own cookbook, or a TV network show or something," Jason laughed.

Percy had a lot more questions buzzing around his mind about how that night would have continued. He opened his mouth with at least three trying to all bunch together, but all that came out was a very rude yawn.

"The question now is, do we take a break or just start the next one?" Thalia asked, stretching and jumping to her feet all the same.

"A break, definitely," Percy pleaded at once. "Hell, can I take a nap, since the days all out of whack anyways and we start the next one tomorrow."

"Nap yes," Thalia told him not unkindly, "but I am waking you back up to at least start on the next one! We'll be in here for twenty years if you sleep to your heart's content Rip Van Winkle!"

Percy nodded and then, actually just slumped over, right there in his chair. It would have been a tad concerning if he hadn't started drooling only moments later.

Nico expected Will to jump up and join the others as they all started talking quietly, stretching and going off to eat, but instead he stayed in place, hugging the black book tight to his chest and smiling at it still. Nico still thought him nuts, but a very charming kind. Nuts and berries.

Something had been nagging at the back of his mind though. A pessimistic idea that wouldn't leave him, an observation about Will always being so happy and optimistic at the idea of Nico being at camp. "Did you kiss me because you want me to stay at Camp?" Nico asked, his stomach in painful knots that the answer was going to be yes and how much he should care about that and how much it would make a difference. Maybe Will did just want something from him-

"No!" Will's startled blue eyes were pure honesty. "I kissed you because I wanted to, no other reason." Nico still seemed confused though, so he offered, "look, I, I feel like I should apologize, for kissing you right then," Will confessed. "That, um, wasn't exactly, 'friendly,' and if that's what you need right now-" his arm started to pull away even.

"I like it," Nico interrupted, the surprise on his own face for admitting that causing him to sheepishly avert his eyes, but his hand darting up to hold his fingers in place, nearly pining them to his black shirt. "L-liked. Um, it was, it feels- felt, good, but if you regret it-" his hand spasmed as he told himself to let go.

"Woah, I never said that," Will interpreted right back. "I've been trying to get to know you since we met. I just, um, was trying to make sure-" he was blushing himself and stammering and going very blank in the mind to find words to describe anything.

"Right, well," Nico took a shaky breath but looked back at him with a hesitant smile. He interlocked their fingers, and Will easily mimicked him. "That's, established. Neither of us, regret it, and we both like talking, so let's just, keep doing, that."

"Sounds perfect," Will grinned.

PJOPJOPJO

I am not promising that this will be the last book to end with Solangelo, I don't want to be a liar like that, but I do already have the ending to the next book planned out and it's not focused on them, so there's that?

So I'm taking a short break and then posting Demigod Files next month for sure, and then I'm going to start Last Olympian in May! I'm so excited guys, I'm looking forward to it all as much as anybody!

*I know most people probably imagine Alex using the f' word like a bestie, but I'm more familiar with people who grew up in verbally abusive households disliking strong language because it's been used on them to much. Also I do my best to keep these PG, T at most, so it's going to stay at least in the level of clean you've seen so far in the tone of the original books, so this is what I'm going with.

[ask-artsy-oncie]

I’m obsessed with your Anastasia AU. Do you have any more thoughts or ramblings?

Sorry this took six months to answer anon - know that I resolved to answer it before the year ended, and so here we are!

Obviously the Anastasia AU post I made leaves something to be desired. I was getting carsick while writing it so it peters off at the end. It's especially lacking in actual Llewerius content - especially especially stuff from Ty's point of view - so I want to focus on that.

The biggest thing that Ty and Louie tend to clash over in this AU is Louie's godawful work ethic. Ty has pretty good work ethic, and in this AU literally grew up as a servant, so the fact that Louie seems so keen to laze about and not take this "posing as a prince" business seriously annoys the hell out of him. And he's not beyond verbalizing this.

Either way, they're both smart-mouthed individuals with similar criminal habits and it's easy for them to get on each other's nerves. Baloo considers it love at first sight, though he might just be missing Becky.

Despite all this, there is physical attraction at play, and once they get over their petty annoyances with one another, the two end up genuinely enjoying each other's company (not that they would openly admit it, at first)

The nightmare on the boat still happens in this AU. To accomodate for the lack of pets in this AU, it's worth noting that Ty is a (relatively) light sleeper to Kit and Baloo, so when Louie flopped out of bed and started sleepwalking out the door of their cabin, Ty woke up. Took him a minute to fully wake up and realize something was wrong, though, so he didn't bolt out of bed right away.

Yes, he carried Louie back to bed in his arms. They probably slept in the same bed that night, too, just to feel a little safer. They do not acknowledge any of that at all the morning after.

Once Ty realizes that Louie is, in fact, the missing prince, it finally hits him that Louie's probably going to be in his life forever, due to their families being friends, and that makes his budding crush on Louie kind of too much for him to handle. It also makes him feel guilty to have all this sudden emotional baggage when Louie should really only be worrying about reuniting with his family, like Ty feels as though being around Louie wouldn't be fair to him, so he decides that becoming more distant is the best (and kindest) option. He essentially avoids him after the Duck family reunites.

Louie picks up on this and starts to think that maybe his own crush on Ty had him reading their relationship wrong, that Ty probably truly can't stand him, and does his best to rebottle the resulting hurt he feels into contempt.

Ty does, however, have to participate in the ball thrown to celebrate Louie's return, since his family is expected to be there. The bird kids all willingly sneak out of the party once they start to notice Magica's presence, and Ty is the only one who notices, though he isn't aware of why they left. Of course, he gets to show up just in time to clock Magica right in the face.

Since the kids all get to face Magica together, I don't think there's really any instance of any of them being injured so grievously that they'd think one of them was dead or something, like what happens in the movie. Moreso, I think that being shoehorned back together and surviving a final-gambit attack from an incredibly powerful sorceress together forces Ty and Louie to confront the feelings they have for each other and be honest with one another. Like sure, maybe they aren't scared into believing one of them died, but they're forced to wrestle with the idea that they could have, and if that's the case, there are things that shouldn't be left unsaid.

And so! We get a happy ending! Louie gets to be with his family again, and Ty and Louie learn that their feelings for one another are reciprocated!

Hope this answer satisfies you, anon! And I hope you enjoy the rest of your December!

[lifetimeshipper]

The Beauty and the Predacon

Chapter 11

~~~~~~~~~~

Arcee was still in amazement as she walked through the corridors with Predaking. She can't believe he just stood up for her like that, she can't believe he was willing to attack Knock Out and almost rip him to pieces to protect her. When he stood in front of her all protectively like that she felt something stir in her spark, she's not sure what it is, if she's starting to love him, or if it's just a deep appreciation for what he did. But whatever it was she felt it and it helped her feel safer around him, she no longer feared him as she did. She looks down at her servo wrapped up in his claws as she moves a bit closer to him and leans on his arm.

Predaking looked down after he felt her lean on him and he looked at her slightly surprised. Does this mean she feels more at ease and comfortable with him now? It warms his spark to see her like this and he can't help but smile.

After they get their Energon cubes, they return to the upper haul deck where they've been staying and sit and drink their Energon in silence. When Arcee finishes drinking her share of Energon that she can take in she places the cube with the rest of her Energon down on the floor and looks over at him. "Thank you, Predaking. I would have been able to handle Knock Out but I really appreciate you sticking up for me like that."

Predaking stops drinking his Energon and looks over at her, "It was no problem. Predacons get very protective over their mate, we would do anything to keep our mate safe."

"Why do you keep saying mate?"

"Because that's what it's called," Predaking responds as he looks at her confused, "Do you not call it that?"

"Not really, we use sparkmate. We'll use mate as a short way of saying it but we usually say sparkmate."

"Sparkmate. I did not read enough about spark bonding. I was going with mate because it's what Predacons called it. I believe we did not mate the way you do, we did not sparkbond."

"Then how did you bond with your mate?"

"I think it was through biting and marking our mate. I do not remember too much, I mostly been going off my Predacon instincts."

That would make a lot of sense, they are like animals, "Is that why you bit me while we were sparkbonding?"

"Yes, I was marking you so all other mechs know you are mine. Also, I believe I sent a chemical into your systems to help bond you to me."

"That must be why we were able to sparkbond. The thing about sparkbonding is that both parties of the bonding must be in love and willing to bond, if one is against it then the bonding won't take. I don't love you and I was against the bonding but it still took. It must have been the chemical."

Predaking growls a bit, "I'm gonna lay down and recharge for a bit," he says as he lays down and closes his optics.

Arcee nodded as she watched him and she wondered if maybe she took it too far by telling him she didn't love him. He clearly loves her so she probably hurt him by saying that. She gets up and walks across the deck to the back of the ship, she needs some fresh air in her vents. She shouldn't care that she's hurting him because he's supposed to be the enemy, but she does care. She doesn't want to hurt him but she also doesn't know if she could love him.

She will admit he is pretty good-looking and has a really nice body. He's very strong and powerful, he could probably even beat Megatron in a fight. But what will her team think of her if she comes to love him? They're already gonna be very upset when they find out she's sparkmates with him. How will they feel if she actually comes to love him? He's their enemy, he's been trying to kill them, it would probably seem like she's betraying them.

She lets out an air cycle as she sits down on the edge with a foot dangling over the side. She wishes she could see her team again she misses them so much. Even Smokescreen's crazy aft. She hopes Smokescreen is doing a good job looking after Jack, though she knows the rest of the team is there as well to help him. The poor boy is probably worried sick about her.

"Arcee, what are you doing!?"

Arcee heard Predaking growling behind her before hearing the heavy footfalls on the floor, she turned to see Predaking running towards her. She raises her servos as she starts to stand up, "Predaking, wait! I'm --" She was suddenly cut off when her foot slipped off the edge and she fell over the edge, she tried to grab hold of something but her digits couldn't grab anything and she went hurtling towards the Earth.

"ARCEE!!" Predaking shouts before he transforms and flies after her. His spark races as he watches her fall towards the ground, he flaps his wings as hard and fast as he can. Arcee is looking at him with fear in her optics as she reaches up for him. He soon reaches her and grabs her, he pulls her against his chest as he comes to a halt. He flaps his wings as he hovers in one place for a moment looking down at Arcee as she hugs him tightly, that was too close. She's not going near that edge again.

He flies back to the ship and sees Shockwave there waiting on them. He transforms and lands with Arcee still in his arms. He walks in further before he sits down holding Arcee as he calms his spark. "What happened?" Shockwave finally asked him.

Predaking looks at Arcee for a moment as she snuggles up against his chest, she really doesn't want to deal with Shockwave right now. Predaking looks up at Shockwave, "She was sitting on the edge so I ran over to pull her back and make sure she didn't fall but as she stood up her foot slipped and she fell off."

"And you flew after her to save her."

"Of course. I wasn't gonna let my mate, my sparkmate, fall to her death."

"So she's talked to you about that."

"Yes, she told me that you guys prefer to use the term sparkmate."

"Did she also tell you that you can feel each other's feelings and pain?"

"No. But that would explain why I felt more fear and panic while I was flying after her, I was feeling hers as well as mine."

"Yes. And when you were fighting the Autobots she could feel every hit."

Predaking looked down at Arcee, he didn't know she could feel all that, "Do you know how we were able to sparkbond even though she doesn't love me?"

"It is strange. But I believe you bit her, did you not?"

"I did."

"Then that would explain it. Your kind is known to send chemicals into the systems of the one you are biting to mate with, it helps bond you together. It would also help her see you as her Alpha which would make her systems and functions obey you."

"But I thought that kind of thing would only happen to Predacons."

"Our CNA might be different from yours and we might have a lot of different traits but there are very few that we did get from your kind, and that is one of them. Some of us have the Alpha trait in our system and some of us have the Omega trait. Arcee has the Omega in her system so when you bit her and sent your chemicals into her system her Omega had awoken and saw you as Alpha. That's why you were able to sparkbond without any trouble."

"Then why are we not as connected as we should be?" Arcee asked, she had been quietly listening to their conversation.

"Even though you are sparkmates there is still resistance from your side, as long as that's there and you refuse to return his love the connection won't be complete. But the bond is still strong enough that it cannot be severed either."

The two look at him before they look at each other. Arcee realizes that no matter how much she might fight to keep from loving him it won't matter, she's sparkbonded to him for the rest of her life. She might as well work on strengthening the connection between them since they're pretty much now each other's lifeline.

"If everything is well now I shall go inform Lord Megatron," Shockwave says before he heads to the door.

Arcee stays snuggled up to Predaking as she goes into recharge. She feels very comfortable and at ease like this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 Excuse the Alpha and Omega referencing, I had been reading a lot of Alpha and Omega stories. I just couldn't resist adding something about it in one of my stories. ^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

[aikoiya]

You know... I can't help but wonder...

Like, forget what "side" you're on for a moment.

What would you do if you learned that your side was wrong?

Like, I can't help but think that it's important to really contemplate stuff like that.

Republicans/Conservatives? What would you do if it turned out that Trump really was guilty of all the stuff they accuse him of? Rape, treason, sedition, ect.

Now, Democrats/Librals? What would you do if it turned out that Biden was guilty of pedophilia, treason, ect? If the Covid crisis really was a hoax & Fauchi is poisoning us & legitimately trying to depopulate the world by force? If it turned out that the previous election really was rigged? If Pride really has been hijacked & turned into something dispicable even though the large majority of LGBT individuals are honestly just people who just wanna live their lives? What if infants are alive from the moment of conception? What if there never was a party switch? (To be fair, I know more about this side of the argument, but my point stand. This is not meant as an attack.)

What if it turned out that we were all being lied to? What if both parties want the same thing? To do the right thing. What if the only real difference between us is the way we think we should go about it?

Because, I think it's important to be willing to see the truth even if that truth isn't necessarily something you wanna hear.

Yes, it may hurt. But pain has a purpose even if it doesn't feel good.

I would like to bring up Cromwell's Rule. “I beseech you, consider that you might be mistaken.”

So, what if you are mistaken?

And, honestly, this goes for most every faction on earth. No matter the situation.

What if you were wrong about something you really & truly believed in?

I'm talkin' politics, science, philosophy, religion, whatever.

What if you were wrong?

For me, if God ever made it clear to me that Trump was truly everything awful that a bunch of people have been saying he is & He made it clear that He is not with him, then I'm fully prepared to drop him like he's on fire.

Because, while I do like Trump, from my personal perspective, God's will is much more important.

In my mind, I don't trust either side fully (or at least, I try not to) because both have incentive to make who they support look great & who they don't look terrible. So, it's very possible that we've all been misled.

As such, I'm inclined to believe that no matter which side of the isle you lean towards, if the only media you watch is your side or even if it's only the kind of media that you agree with, then it's very highly likely that you only have, at most, half of the story.

It's like how your eyes work. Both are looking at the same thing, but if you close one, it sees something slightly different from what the other does. It's only by seeing out both that you get a more accurate picture of what's actually happening.

Again, this is by no means an attack. But rather a simple question of, "are you ready to be wrong if you are? And are you ready to admit to that & change if it happens?"

I certainly try to be, but I can't be too sure until the moment comes. I hope to be humble enough to accept the truth regardless of what that truth might be.

Regardless of whether I like it or not...

I hope everyone else, regardless of sides, is strong enough & humble enough to do so as well.

[circulars-reasoning]

Each Community Has It's Problems...

In particular, this post is going to address my time in the pro-endo community. JAS made a very good vent post in 2021 about some of those issues, explaining how it created some distaste for him for endogenics in general. It's been circulating again and I wanted to add on a few things. Thought I would make my own post, though, as my thoughts are separate from his.

This post isn't as nuanced as they always will be, but I wanted to be able to share these things. Anyone is allowed to interact with this post!

First off, this phrase "plural is what you want it to be" is something I see on a daily basis in the inclusive servers I'm currently in, and it's something I saw quite a bit in the plural spaces I used to be in. Essentially, "plural" as a label is for anyone - singlets included - so long as they feel the term is "right" for them, or helps them.

I have an innate distaste for this. The reason I do is because of how that mentality was used to hurt and abuse me repeatedly, as a now diagnosed DID system.

When I first joined plural spaces, I was constantly fucking fakeclaimed by pro/endos. I was constantly told I was autigenic, that I was mixed-origin at best, that my trauma "wasn't enough" - because I couldn't describe any. But it wasn't fakeclaiming the likes of what we see on FDC. It was "loving" and "caring."

I express needing desperate help, because I'm having panic attacks and have no idea why. "Have you considered it's your autism and you're melting down? Is someone else internally stressed about school?" No, I was having flashbacks to my trauma and instantly forgetting what I had seen in my mind, because I wasn't ready to see it. So I sat, and puzzled, and accepted that I Was Just Like This. After all, everyone else around me was "just like that," and they had their own strategies to help them - none of which seemed to help me. So I became incredibly defeatist. I believed I was just going to always be a dysfunctional plural, because I couldn't lock away my alters like was suggested. I couldn't push away the trauma stressors in my life.

Plural spaces inherently encouraged me to ignore my trauma, because they offered a million different options for what I was actually experiencing. And it was like being traumagenic was taboo - if you were traumagenic, you were pushed away into a corner, told you could party with the rest of them if you kept it under wraps. I join servers to this day where discussions of dormancy, splitting, integration, and fusion - all incredibly fundamental parts of my disorder and healing from my disorder - are part of blacklists. "We don't want to trigger anyone!" Have you considered what you're actually doing is blacklisting the healing process those like me require? Integration is inherent for healing from DID, but it's blacklisted in numerous servers I've seen and subsequently left.

The endogenic community strongly encourages further dissociation as well. Alters should be different; distinct. I've seen it encouraged to watch new media to "make new fictives." Source-calls encouraging introjects to connect deeper to sources, even date random strangers who "are from the same source" (not a thing). Everything I've seen in plural spaces focuses on being, well, Multiple People, and supporting that strongly - and working against that goal is frowned upon (i.e., final fusion being discussed as being death).

Those spaces also incredibly support unhealthy coping mechanisms for those like me who have DID. Maybe others are finding good resources out there in plural spaces, but... I'll talk about dissociation and be linked to PluralPedia. I'll ask about how to stay awake on a long drive, and be told "just force yourself to rapid switch, because a new alter will be fresh and awake!" (Hello, crashing my car).

I think that's as much time and energy as I have today. I just... I definitely understand the unease. I have been so greatly hurt in endo spaces, and while the inclusive spaces I am in now are better than those I was in previously - with more acknowledgment that those who say they have a disorder should be believed - there are still problems with Everything Being Valid If It Helps, with no recognition of the fact that, when you're maladaptive already, hurting yourself badly can look a lot like helping.

[will80sbyers]

Tbh not a mike slander because i am okay with his character and i'd like him if he did not turn out to be gay/bi, but Mike's character almost completely revolves around El atp. And if he ends up with her.... it's just not that interesting of an arc, no offence, lol. Like what is his arc exactly? Realizing that he is special enough in his own way even though he is a 'random/normal nerd' to his superhero girlfriend? That's just very lame and sounds painfully like born sexy yesterday trope. His arc would severely pale i comparison to what the other Party members experience and come of age.

I think this view is a bit dismissive of how impactful bullying can be on the self esteem of a young kid... Mike's arc doesn't revolve around El but around his own insecurities as a person and what he thinks of himself

Mike sees himself as not really important at the moment, he thinks of himself as a loser deep down and it hurts him, I don't think he's super depressed right now, but he has all of these insecurities that could grow into something very serious for his mental health... these fears are what made him try to change himself and always try to look cooler for El.. he basically thinks no one could really love him for who he is as just Mike...

and I think his arc will be also about his sexuality in a way because Will is the one that makes him understand that he can be loved as "just Mike"... but I don't think it needs to be centered on sexuality for him because I don't think he will suffer from extreme internalized homophobia like people think and run away from Will

he is a bit scared obviously because it's scary finding out you're actually different and he's awkward and afraid that Will will not feel the same for him and he will lose Will as a friend, but I think in his case he will grow to accept his sexuality faster than Will and with less self hate for his sexuality at least...

but will he have no self hate for who he is as a person? because I think that's what's really bothering Mike

I think his arc is about how he sees himself as a person in general and how he is scared of change and letting go of El for example... this because of what being without the validation of her, a superhero, wanting him would mean for his view of himself

I think he could become a bit depressed if he starts thinking that his insecurities are the truth after El breaks up with him... and if Will also starts to pull away from him and he doesn't know why....well, that's not good, he could start believing a narrative in which nobody in his life really needs him and no one would ever want him if they don't need him... no one would ever love him if they don't also need him to be there for them and protect them...

and at that point Mike could need help to see himself as worthy of love too in the future and then Will's love would save him from Vecna's attack!

also...and I don't think this will happen, but he could live all of this even without being able to feel the same type of romantic love for Will, in that case Will's love would save his life but he's still straight so they wouldn't end up together and Mike would be single basically

but I think this scenario is very improbable, they are working on byler endgame for many reasons and because it's more beautiful and fulfilling for both Mike's and Will's character arcs

[song-tam]

💜,📀,🌹, i cannot memorize the questions and don't know any of ur ocs BUT thought these were good ones!!

HI INK LOVE YOU FR anyways im gonna do my main two ocs they live in my head rentfree. their names are arjun & kahan theyre very devoted gays swordfighting and shit they make me rot

💜 Music or Silence? Swords or Spells? Cities or Nature? - arjun's is music, spells, cities, and kahan's is silence, swords, nature. theyre opposite a little bit (fire and water red and blue)

📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted? - OHHH thats a good one. makes me think.

well for kahan it is very hard to do any of that bc he's not a very easily trusting person in the first place. trust has to be earned and its very hard for someone to earn his, and even if someone reaches that point he's still wary of them. (arjun, his brothers, and the rest of the squad, including his lovely aroace mad scientist cousin, are the exceptions to this rule.) all that being said, kahan is not easily manipulated and it's very hard to get him to do something that goes against his beliefs. if you want to get to him, you wouldn't try to attack him head on - instead, you'd attempt to get to the people he loves. (enter arjun)

ARJUN, my beloved boy. like kahan, he's not really the type of person to tell his whole life story to everyone - that's not the kind of thing he's really into sharing and he doesn't believe that he really has anyone he can trust so unconditionally (exceptions include kahan, the squad, and his sister). the trust issues are real with him. HOWEVER, arjun has this sort of thing where he believes everyone is inherently good and he does try to give people the benefit of the doubt. sometimes this works out well and he makes strong allies; other times, it ends up hurting him in the worst way possible.

🌹 How easy is it for them to connect with others and make friends? On the flip side how easy is it for them to make an enemy of someone? Are they the kind of person who hangs around the food table at a party and never talks to anyone or are they the type who can talk to anyone?

okayy so considering the lack of trust you would assume that kahan sucks ass at making friends but actually hes a bit of a charmer. he doesnt get manipulated, he does the manipulating. hes conventionally attractive and he knows it and therefore he uses it to his own benefit on quests and such. completely unashamed about it too. hes not exactly flirty but hes definitley charismatic. people are drawn to him and because of that he has a million aquaintances approximately zero friends (well that is a lie bc. the found family the squad but before that his only real friend was his cousin). also he didnt like arjun at first though and arjun didnt like him either which is ironic considering theyre head over heels in love with each other

arjun... he can make friends? he doesnt have many friends but a slightly normal amount. most of them are the ones that are like him - lonely mfs with unresolved trauma. he has a bit of a savior complex id say. also he definitely hangs around the food at the party but he'll like. drag kahan over to the dessert table or smth cause he doesnt want to look too pathetic standing over there by himself also he needs kahan to help him hide fancy schmany desserts to take home. anyway he kind of like. psychoanalyzes people inside his head and he understands them well enough but he doesnt really. talk to them. idk id say hes very ambiverted and it really depends on whether or not hes going to make a million friends that day or hide in a hole.