#This time it just turned out that his crisis was started by a Barbie movie

[nelkcats]

Creator (and half of an existential crisis)

After watching Barbie, Danny ended up with a question, if Barbie was an idea that lived in his own world created through imagination, was it possible that he was also an idea imagined by someone else?

At first the idea seemed absurd, and he even laughed at the comparison, would he be in a comic book? A toy? Or maybe his life was a cartoon; each option sounded illogical, but there was always a part of his brain that told him, is it possible?

So he did the same thing he does with all his existential doubts: complain to Clockwork. And Clockwork as usual was no help at all, he answered him in the most cryptic way possible.

"We are all someone's idea, even if it is not the reason for our existence."

Danny took that as a yes, and after giving Frostbite an excuse (although it felt wrong to lie to the Yeti), he lent the Infi-map and asked him to meet the first one who "imagined Phantom."

And he ended up in Tim Drake's room, with a British butler looking at him with a raised eyebrow and a guy who seemed to have very little sleep in his system.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Holy crap I’m loving your writing! Im especially obsessed with Ken and the ranch owner

I’m wondering if you’d be willing to do an fem human reader x Ken where the reader gets a bit sick, nothing too serious but Ken absolutely freaks out and thinks the reader is dying or sum (he learned about death from Stero Barbie. Also spiders. He’s terrified of both) and the reader thinks it’s a bit funny so she’s like “yeah I’m dying” but then he gives her the most terrified and sad kicked puppy look and she has to explain that it’s just a cold lol

Awh thank you!! Im glad that ppl still love my barbie movie stuff even though barbie summer has come and gone 💔

........

There were only two things that Ken feared after beginning his new life in the Real World:

One is the mortality of humans, as Barbie told him all about how fragile their lives were and the two paths they were given: either growing old and dying peacefully in their beds, or some terrible occurrence cutting it short long before their time on this earth was up.

The second was spiders.

He especially hated the spiders.

You only recently discovered he had that fear after finding one of those 8-legged critters in your house--or more specifically in his room, where he came barreling out from as though he accidentally set something on fire.

At first, you thought he really did start a fire until he dragged you back into there, begging you to get rid of the "strange beast".

You had no clue what he could possibly be referring to....and then he pointed to the corner, where a little cellar spider sat completely unbothered, weaving its web.

In that moment, you realized you may have turned him arachnophobic, considering you did show him one insect-themed horror movie this past Halloween. He kept freaking out over it potentially growing horse-sized or injecting venom into his bloodstream when he was asleep.

But despite you assuring him neither of those things could happen (and insisting that the spider was more afraid of him), Ken refused to go into the room until it was gone.

You find it hard to fathom that this same doll who led an entire revolt, came to terms with his own identity crisis, and bravely made the transition to humanity....was totally inconsolable in the presence of a tiny bug.

Then again, maybe showing him that movie--and allowing Barbie to explain why arachnophobia was among the top fears humans had--was a huge mistake.

Regardless, you made it your mission to get rid of the critter.

Oddly enough Ken insisted that you didn't actually kill it, but you found you it sweet that he valued its life despite it scaring the shit out of him. So you contained it in a cup, putting a napkin underneath it before releasing it outside.

After that, you mentioned how most people usually killed spiders and other pests that invaded their home.

He looked wildly uncomfortable at that fact, before he began talking about some rather... concerning things: like if the spider knew how short its lifespan was, how easily it could have been crushed, if it feared death or if it was even aware of it at all-

Before he could derail and start rambling about death itself too much, you stopped him, asking if he was feeling alright.

And he went quiet for a moment, before smiling and giving you a kiss, reassuring you he felt better.

Yet even as he left the room, he still appeared awful tense.

It was that day where you worried that it's more than just spiders he feared..

.......

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you sick??"

"...unfortunately, but it's nothing serious. Just a stupid cold I caught at work." Sighing tiredly, you sat up in bed, seeing Ken walk into the room.

He looked nothing short of horrified at how drained and exhausted you sounded this morning. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want you to catch anything, so I'm sorry...but no kisses today."

"Then..what about tomorrow?"

You just rolled your eyes, drinking some tea you made for yourself. "Maybe, but we'll see if I wake up."

Although it was meant to be a little joke, your foggy brain forgot how seriously the blond often took jokes, and he rushed to your bedside, kneeling down.

His eyes were wide as he took your hand. "If you wake up??? Are you dying??"

Putting down your mug, you sighed once more, trying to figure out a way to remedy this situation before you upset him too much. "No....I mean I just feel like I'm dying, but.." You paused, noticing the tears coming to his eyes. "Ken?"

Now that he was a lot closer, you could see the utterly terrified look on his face--as though you kicked a puppy right in front of him.

Yep, it was already much too late. He was upset.

"I-I know tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, but you have to get through this, [y/n]! Please..I can't lose you, too...not when you've done so much to help me." He was extremely close to crying, his lips trembling.

Your heart sunk as you placed a hand ober his own. "Oh honey, I was only kidding around when I say-"

"Why do humans joke about death so much? Don't they know y-you...you can't come back? That they have such short lives?? O-Or sure, some believe you can be reincarnated but that doesn't make it any-"

At this point, he was just blubbering nonsense, so you took him into your arms. And for a moment he fell silent, before burying his face into your chest, trying to calm himself down. "I-I'm sorry.."

"No, no..I'm sorry. You're right..I shouldn't be joking about death around you." Frowning slightly, you stroked his hair. "I promise I'm not dying. Not today, or tomorrow..not for a long, long time. This cold will pass and I'll feel better soon enough."

".....a-are these the irrepressible thoughts of death Barbie had?"

'Oh.'

It finally hit you.

He was going through the same thing she once did.

"Ken.." You had him sit up so you could see his face. Aside from it being a little red and his eyes puffy and watery, there were tear marks trailing down to the stubble that had formed along his jaw and chin. "Why didn't you tell me you were having those thoughts?"

Sniffling, he just shrugged. "I don't know. And... I don't know why I'm thinking them. Barbie could blame it on somebody who was playing with her, but...I can't. Because I'm not a doll anymore, I'm human....a-and...those were my thoughts alone." He shuddered, terrified at that realization. "I guess I just..didn't wanna scare you, b-but obviously it's too late for that..."

A small chuckle came from him, although it dissolved into a small sob as he wiped his eyes. "S-Sorry, I....I want these thoughts to just pass already."

"And they will." You nodded, squeezing his free hand reassuringly. "It looks like you're just experiencing them for the first time, and that's okay. They won't be all you think about. And you don't have to apologize for how you're feeling, as long as you're honest with me."

"Th-Thank you.." He sniffled. "I should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Do you need you anything? More tea? Meds? Anything at all?"

You smiled fondly, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. "You're all I need right now, sweetheart."

That response seemed to bring Ken's giddy old self back, as he smiled bashfully in return. He melted back into your arms when you wrapped them around him, and he listened to your heartbeat: the only assurance he needed that you were still living.

Eventually...those thoughts of death did pass him by, and he felt okay again.

[destinyc1020]

Long story short (I didn't follow everything so anons correct me if I miss something) :

People started noticing all the cast was ignoring Justin Baldoni existence : not taking any pics with him at photo call and premieres, not praising him, not speaking about working with him (even when directly asked), not even one joint interviews, and they ALL unfollowed him

Justin said that he didn't want to direct to sequel if it had to happens. But unlike the rest of the cast, he actually praised Blake in interviews.

The public opinion started to take sides. On one hand you have Blake, who has been criticized for the way she promoted the film, never mentioning the serious subject matter (DV), acting like it's a fun girly movie, telling girls to go with their friends wearing "florals" (kinda mimicking the Barbie theme dressing, but it sounds out of touch for a movie like this). At the same time she is promoting her hair care line and all the promo around her and her image. People also started calling her out for other stuff she did (got married on a plantation, being rude in interviews, not knowing how to answer questions about DV even though she should be prepared for that). On the other hand, Justin has been more vocal about DV and more mindful with his words, giving more heartfelt answers and not shying away from the seriousness of the topic. He apparently has a podcast where he showed in the past that he seemed (I haven't listen to it myself) to fight toxic masculinity narratives, so people usually applaud him for that

"Insiders" started to got to the press. Apparently it started to go downhill in post production, they disagreed on the editing and Blake asked (forced?) the editing team of Deadpool to edit this film, which ended up being a version that was less liked than the og according to test audiences. Justin was visibly mad about Blake(+Ryan) heavy involvement

TMZ just released an article saying that Blake was also upset because Justin asked her weight and she took it as "fat shaming", but he only did that because he had severe back issues that he was recovering from during filming, and there was a scene where he's supposed to lift her in the air so he wanted to know to physically prepare himself. According to the source, he kissed her for too long during one scene, making her uncomfortable

Justin is keeping to himself and didn't comment on anything, BUT he hired a PR crisis publicist, the one who was hired by Jonny Depp during the trial (which is not a good look when you know Jonny was trying to soften his image after being seeing as an abuser).

I had NO idea all of this was going on! 🤣😆 I just don't follow Blake like that. I like her as an actress though. No comment on her and Ryan's plantain wedding.... 😑 (I STILL to this day don't know what possessed them to do that. She's not even from the South, and he's not even American!!! 🥴)

Oooo giiiiirrrrrl you're bringing in the TEA!!! 😲🫢

Anyway....

This is some crazy tea girl.

Re: Justin....

He's hot as idk what chiiiiilllle.... 🔥 🥵 All throughout the movie I kept thinking to myself: "Good lawwwd.... call the DOCTOR!" 🤣 He is handsome.... and his body was body-iiiing in that movie chiiiiilllle lol!!! Rofl 🤣

*Ahem* With that said, I don't ever think it's right for anyone (especially a MAN) to ask a woman how much she weighs. I don't care if he just had back surgery lol 😆 It's just tacky, and comes off as kinda rude and personal imo. Women are judged by their weight (and age) so much, especially in this country, and it's kind of a turn off when a man asks this imo.

That's almost tantamount to a woman asking a man his dick size. How would a man feel if a woman asked him on a date... "Sooo... how big is your package? I just wanna know, just in case one day we ever....ya know... 😏...I just want to make sure it would be comfortable for me..."

Like, what on earth? 🥴That's so out of pocket lol. 😅

Anyway, if I were him, I would just refrain from asking women those questions from here on out. If he wanted to know if he could pick her up, all he had to do was just try? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Plus, Blake is not a "big woman" at all, and the guy is like 6'2, so he's no small man at all. I do believe, even with back issues, he could have been just fine with picking her up. Or, how about, just write that pick up out of the script? Geez lol 😅

Anyway... with that said...I don't usually see Blake in interviews, so I'm not sure how she usually comes across? 🤷🏾‍♀️ I can't speak to that.

I did see one clip of Justin talking about the DV side of things briefly, and I did appreciate that. 😊

Re: Blake

With Blake, maybe she was told to tone down the DV aspect of the film somewhat so that ppl wouldn't be turned off from seeing it? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Or, maybe she was afraid of saying smthg offensive and in turn, making ppl not want to see it?

This is all about money and having your film sell after all. Let's not forget! 😅

Even though the film is so much more than just about DV, I do think that she should have said smthg about women (and men!) who find themselves in these types of toxic relationships.

Anyway, thnx for the tea Anon...I had no clue this was all going on.

[wifiwuxians]

xunyang barbie au

ASLKJDHKASJFG AS IN THE BARBIE MOVIE? or just any of the magnificent barbie movies we've gotten throughout the years bc if so it would surely have to be rapunzel... but for the fun of it i will say barbie movie AU despite only watching it once

obviously, Xun wants to get the hell OUT of barbieland and feel real grass and real water and real everything, but all his friends think he's confused and just going through a peculiar phase of self discovery. his identity is Princess Ken Barbie so of course he's a little lost on what exactly that's supposed to mean. hopefully crossing over into the real world will give him the answers he seeks, as well as the satisfaction he craves! but who's going to get him there? he doesn't know the way!

enter XY, shuffled off with the rest of the weird Barbies yet kept apart from even them, who has glimpsed the instructions on how to get to the real world and reaches Xun before he's able to ask for said instructions himself. this is posed as an act of altruism, and naive, idealistic Xun does not know any better, but in reality this is a PLOY! for XY is SERIAL KILLER KEN, who thirsts to spill real blood and hopes that crossing the threshold will turn him and his potential victim into beings of flesh and blood

on the road, XY goes from pretending to listen to Xun out of necessity to actually absorbing what he's saying. since no one else will give him the time of day (and he whisked Xun away before anyone could see them and interfere), he finds himself engaging in conversation with his companion and swapping stories, hobbies and aspirations. they both share a need to feel something real, even though one of them wants to feel alive and the other wants the thrill of death.

once in the real world, both are similarly awkward and lost, but XY is rather deranged about it whereas Xun tries to remain polite. while also being completely deranged. bathing in a fountain, eating meat straight off the grill, wearing snow gear in summer... the pair start to get lost in the sensations of humanity, all while ignoring the looks of strangers and narrowly avoiding the law. they end up being recruited to perform at a club for their good looks. they are not told which kind of club this is.

Xun tells XY that he's happy he's come with him. that he's never been this happy in his life and that he's so grateful to have met him and been able to befriend him. XY feels his desire to spill this guy's blood vanish in a cloud of smoke, and in an instant he's the one with the identity crisis. in a scene straight out of a Tarantino ripoff, XY begins to dispose of the people at the club once Xun is asked to strip. Xun watches on in horror, discovering XY's secret identity as SERIAL KILLER KEN, and eventually flees the scene. vulnerable and confused, he gets lost in the city, while XY battles with his need to find him verus his need to find his owner, to see why exactly he is the way he is...

[phyrs]

it’s what she’s made for.

— 23rd July 2023.

here i was.

digesting and perceiving the moment.

the moment where i was experiencing astonishment mixed with melancholy.

grab your pink popcorn while reading my review.

p/s: I’m not a professional, these are just my personal opinions :))

It’s exactly what she’s made for;

Being herself.

This movie started as expected;

- The pinkiest movie ever

- Thousands of Barbies and Kens in Barbieland

- Signature, recognizable and iconic Barbie trademarks

- Harmonious atmosphere

- Jubilant soundtracks

Greta did an immaculate job on keeping those Barbie elements, but still figuring out ways to impress audiences with ostentatious plots.

As a former Barbie fanatic, I can totally verify that.

The elements are incredibly specific and detailed. Margot single-handedly managed to not show a single emotion in her natural yet striking doll-like eyes while playing the Stereotypical Barbie, as well as Ryan (Ken), and so as other Barbies and Kens. Greta also mentioned that the Kens had to shave before shooting since the dolls have no body/facial hair. The floating to downstairs, high heels feet, thick wigs, pink dreamhouses, clothes, plastics, stickers, literally every typical thing that you could think of Barbie is adequately included in this movie. (pls trust me, it’ll be like a iykyk type of moment if you’re a Barbie fan).

This movie emphasizes compelling gender equality messages where in Barbieland, Barbies are dominant, while Kens are just a part of the accessories. Traveling to the real world has led Ken questioned his worth as he assimilates that men are rulers in the real world, he decided to implement all the toxic male-dominated agendas that he learned, including patriarchy, in Barbieland.

On the contrary, witnessing that men are ruling the two worlds, Barbie was devastated and got into a major existential crisis. Fortunately, Gloria’s monologue (played by America Ferrera), woke Barbie’s mind and was the most valorous thing I’ve ever listened to.

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.

It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."

Preach!

All the Barbies boycotted Ken’s new agendas, and had also led Ken into having existential crisis. Barbie told Ken that he needed to independently figure out his true self, other than being Barbie’s accessory.

As light-hearted as she is, Barbie has reached another level of emulation – to leave the idyllic pink world, as she realizes that she also needs to discover herself apart from being the Stereotypical Barbie. She’s ready to face it all in the real world.

Wow, did i just leave a spoiler there? lol. But for me the messages are well-executed for every single human being. Ratings are not required for this masterpiece. Period.

Let’s take a few moments to reflect on our worth, reduce all expectations and let things happen naturally with an open mind.

[excusethequality]

My 2023 in Film

Part 4:

151-200

With this I am finally past the halfway point! Huzzah!

Link to Part I Link to Part II Link to Part III

* = rewatched

[++] = I loved it [+] = I liked it [=] = I am indifferent about it [-] = Not my thing [--] = I hate it

Click on the list number to get a trailer for it.

151.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) * ---Comedy Horror

[Not putting a link to the trailer, because the trailer spoils the shit out of a ton of the movie. Consider yourself warned.]

The typical slasher story is turned on its head when two best friends head to the woods to fix up their new vacation shack. But a misunderstanding with a bunch of college students is about to show that you can't judge a book by its cover. [+]

152.

The Invisible Man (1933) * ---Sci-Fi Horror

After discovering the secret to invisibility a brilliant scientist desperately tries to discover the secret to undoing it before he goes insane. [+]

153.

Barbie (2023) ---Comedy Fantasy Adventure

A Barbie from the magical world of Barbieland has an existential crisis. Now unable to get rid of her thoughts of death and cellulite, she journeys to the real world in search of a cure. [+]

154.

Princess Mononoke (1997) * ---Animated Fantasy Adventure

A cursed prince must leave his home on a journey to find the source of his affliction and to see what he can learn with eyes unclouded by hate. [++]

155.

Twins (1988) * ---Comedy Crime Adventure

Jeez, this movie has no right being this hard to describe. Ummm...two long lost twins (and products of a genetic test) are reunited after 35 years and go on a mission to find their mother. They're also trying to sell a stolen prototype fuel injector, and get away from a vindictive loan shark, and fall in love, and avoid being murdered by the man who rightfully wants to sell the stolen prototype fuel injector. [=]

156.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) ---Animated Action Comedy

A family of mutants living in the sewers of NYC dream of being able to join the humans up above. But when they meet a group of mutant criminals they're forced to choose a side. [++]

157.

Mortal Kombat (2021) ---Fantasy Action

I honestly don't remember the specifics and I refuse to look it up. Basically a boring dude and others get weird powers and fight each other because of reasons. [-]

158.

Predators (2010) ---Sci-Fi Action

A motley crew of killers from around the world awaken on an alien game reserve where they are being hunted for sport. [=]

159.

The Invisible Man (2020) ---Sci-Fi Thriller

A woman flees from an abusive relationship with a tech genius. Although she is finally free, a series of incidents leave her grappling with her sanity and wondering if she's being haunted by her trauma or something more sinister. [+]

160.

Encino Man (1992) * ---Comedy

A pair of teenagers discover a caveman frozen in an ancient block of ice. When unthaws and awakens they decide that he might just be their ticket to popularity and enroll him in high school. [=]

161.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) * ---Coming-of-Age Fantasy Action Comedy

A teenage girl learns that she is the next incarnation of an ancient line of vampire slayers. The only hiccup is that she has no interest in slaying vampires and just wants to be a normal teen. [+]

162.

Joy Ride (2023) ---Comedy Adventure

What started as a business trip turns into a search for family when four Chinese-American friends travel to China. [+]

163.

The Matrix Resurrections (2021) ---Sci-Fi Action

I could try to break down what this movie was about, but it would take more time than I want to invest. Imagine if someone remade the first one, but got weirdly meta about it and generally did everything worse. [--]

164.

Waking Ned Devine (1998) * ---Comedy

In a rural Irish village an old man named Ned Devine has just won the lottery. The only issue is that Ned Devine has also just died. Now the village is on a mission to bring him back (in a way) so they can claim the winnings. [++]

165.

Medusa Deluxe (2022) ---Mystery

When someone is murdered at a hair styling competition it's hard to know if anyone has seen anything out of the ordinary. [=]

166.

Paprika (2006) * ---Animated Sci-Fi Adventure

A psychotherapy researcher secretly working under the alias "Paprika" utilizes a brand new technology that allows her to enter her patients' dreams. But when the technology falls into the hands of a terrorist she may be the only person with the skills needed to stop them. [++]

167.

Game Night (2018) * ---Comedy Adventure

A group of friends meet for their regular game night only to learn that this night might not be so ordinary. [+]

168.

The Hangover (2009) * ---Comedy Adventure

Three friends wake up after a wild bachelor party they can't remember only to find that they can't find the groom. [=]

169.

Lakota Nation vs. United States (2022) ---Documentary

A chronicle of the United States' interactions with the Lakota nation. [+]

170.

Event Horizon (1997) * ---Sci-Fi Horror

A rescue team is sent to investigate the mysterious return of a prototype spacecraft called the Event Horizon. [+]

171.

3 Ninjas (1992) * ---Action Comedy

Three young brothers have been trained in the ways of the ninja by their grandfather. But when a ruthless criminal has set his sights on their family he quickly learns that they won't go down without a fight. [+]

172.

One for the Money (2012) * ---Comedy Crime

A desperate former lingerie saleswoman tries to take up bounty hunting in order to make some quick cash. [=]

173.

Talk to Me (2022) ---Horror

A pack of teenagers discover a mysterious statue that allows whoever touches it become a conduit for the dead. [=]

174.

Barbie (2023) *

See #153

175.

Shiva Baby (2020) ---Drama Comedy

A struggling college student attends the shiva from hell with her parents. [++]

176.

Bottoms (2023) ---Comedy

Two teenage lesbians start a women's fight club at their high school in order to get laid. [=]

177.

What About Bob? (1991) * ---Comedy

A therapist starts to lose his grip on reality when an obsessed patient won't leave him alone and no one else seems to find it odd. [+]

178.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) * ---Action Comedy

A family of mutant turtles is all that stands in the way of a gang of ninja from taking over NYC. [++]

179.

Hardcore Henry (2015) ---Action

I wish the plot actually mattered, but it doesn't. All you need to know is that it's an action movie shot entirely in first person perspective and that there's a very good reason why movies so rarely do that. [-]

180.

Office Space (1999) * ---Comedy

A depressed office worker gets a new lease on life when his hypnotist dies in the middle of their session. [++]

181.

Wayne's World (1992) * ---Comedy

Two best friends find themselves in battle against a corporate bigwig when a network tries to buy their public-access program. [+]

182.

Tell Me I Love You (2020) ---Queer Rom-Com

3 best friends wind up in a polyamory-ish marriage predicament because of reasons. [=]

183.

The Smoke Shack (2013) ---Comedy Short Film

A day in the life of a worker at a smoke shack. [+]

184.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) * ---Comedy Adventure

Two best friends are about to flunk out of school when they're given a most excellent opportunity: a time machine! Now they must gather the greatest collection of historical figures they can in order to ace their history test. [+]

185.

Plus One (2019) * ---Rom-Com

During a rough wedding season two best friends agree to be each other's plus ones in order to make it through, but wind up questioning the nature of their relationship in the process. [=]

186.

Reel Injun (2009) ---Documentary

A look at the history of Native American representation in film. [+]

187.

The Quiet Earth (1985) ---Sci-Fi

A science experiment goes terribly wrong and now 3 people are seemingly the only ones in the world left alive. [-]

188.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) ---Action Comedy

The Shredder decides to fight fire with fire and endeavors to create his own mutant army to defeat the turtles and conquer NYC. [+]

189.

First Cow (2019) ---Period Drama

Two unlikely friends start their own business in order to carve out a life for themselves in 1820s Oregon, USA. [+]

190.

Short Term 12 (2013) ---Drama

A staff member of a group care facility for troubled teenagers tries to fight her impulses towards self destruction when an old trauma comes back to haunt her. [+]

191.

Zoom (2015) ---Fantasy Drama Comedy

Three people discover that their worlds are all products of each other's various creative pursuits. [-]

192.

Dead Man's Curve (1998) ---Crime Thriller

Two roommates concoct a plan to kill their other roommate in order to exploit a college loophole and get an automatic 4.0 GPA. [=]

193.

Tendrils (2023) ---Short Film Drama

Two friends are preparing to part ways and decide to make a time capsule in honor of their relationship. [=]

194.

Watching the Detectives (2007) ---Rom-Com

A film nerd falls in love with a manic pixie dream girl, but begins to blur reality with movies. [-]

195.

Scrapper (2023) ---Comedy Drama

A 12-year-old tries to make it on her own after the death of her mother. But when her estranged dad comes back to take care of her she's going to have to face reality. [++]

196.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993) * ---Action Fantasy Comedy

A chance encounter with a strange artifact transports the turtles to early 17th century Japan. [+]

197.

Theater Camp (2023) ---Mockumentary Comedy

When the director of a theater camp falls into a coma it's up to her wannabe-influencer son to keep the place together. [=]

198.

Four Kids and It (2020) ---Kids Fantasy

While on vacation a group of kids come across a magical being that can grant wishes. There's only two catches: it can only grant one wish a day and each wish only lasts for 24 hours. [=]

199.

Cassandro (2023) ---Queer Sports Biopic

The story of the rise of Saúl Armendáriz aka the Mexican luchador Cassandro. [=]

200.

Fat City (1972) ---Sports Drama

Two men at opposite points in their boxing careers see a glimpse of their past/future in one another, but not necessarily liking what they see. [+]

[kaemulti]

DC SUPERHERO GIRLS HEADCANNONS

i’m gonna start writing headcannons whenever i get sad/anxious for a number of different fandoms. it takes my mind off things, even if only for a little bit. this time it’s gonna be about dcshg 2019. i’m honestly obsessed with thinking about the mundane teenager things we don’t see in the show that all the superhero/villian kids go through so i wanted to write some stuff about that.

•karen is actually more popular than she realizes, people think she’s sweet even though they rarely see her/don’t have classes with her

•leslie and dorris are a thing to everyone BUT themselves; they hilariously don’t even realize they’ve basically been dating for years: carpooling together, hanging out before and after school, bullying kids like a tag team, skipping classes together, movie nights, shorting out the exercise machines at the mall to make that misogynistic jerk at the fitness store scared, buying their favorite snacks for each other without thinking much of it, etc.

•barbi not only hates diana with a burning passion but ALSO tatsu because both girls excel in both their academic and physical education classes, unintentionally surpassing barbie by a long shot whenever the opportunity presents itself

•jessica and hal hang out at sweet justice after their week day training classes and even invite barry when he has the day off

•kara is completely oblivious to the fact there are a bunch of girls crushing on her at school, she keeps wondering why they whisper about her and never make direct eye contact with her as she walks through the hallways. she only finds out what is actually going on when she opens her locker on valentine’s day and gets COVERED in cards. she doesn’t tell most of her friends about it (she knows they’ll just be annoying) but she does vaguely ask jess about how to write people back, turning them down nicely and whatnot, she’s not a monster for gods sake, she’s just not ready for a relationship.

•babs and diana like to study together the most even though barbra never really pays attention, she mostly talks about different batman articles and comics she read and new gadgets she’s created but diana doesn’t mind TOO much because she has an growing interest in modern day ‘world of man’ technology

•diana can NOT sing to save her life. the girls thought that having a karaoke night would be fun sure, but nothing would’ve prepared them for the laughing fits they had when diana started screeching into the mic. They also find out that Babs is always off pitch and Jessica refuses to sing in front of people. alternatively, however, zee, kara and karen (in that order) are the best singers in the group.

•zee keeps inviting kara to these crazy expensive-super long wait list restaurants even though she knows kara probably won’t eat any of the food. she doesn’t really know why she keeps doing it, especially after the whole giant tentacle incident, but she does know she enjoys kara’s funny comments and cute laugh enough to continue.

•when selina first saw diana she might of had a tiny sexuality crisis, no she won’t elaborate.

•tatsu helps garth work on his confidence and he helps her with her HUGE slight fear of open water. even though they don’t know the other is super, they still help each other as much as they can. tatsu will train garth to do some basic defense techniques against bullies and they’ll go swimming every other week, garth always making sure to keep as much water as he can away from tatsu’s eyes and nose.

•kara and barry like to race each other whenever they get a chance to go to the pier. kara always cheats so she never loses but barry doesn’t mind because he’s her friend and it makes them laugh.

•steve is actually really good at embroidery, his mom taught him when he was younger. he once made a wonder woman shirt for diana and when he gave it to her, she fainted.....twice.

•pam is allergic to three different types of flowers but she still nurtures them in her garden at home whenever she can. if her allergies get really bad though, she’ll ask jess to help her water them, ONLY because she needs to keep her precious flowers alive, NOT because she is actually jess’ friend...she thinks.

•the first time carol met barbie they both got into detention for loudly insulting each other’s fashion sense in the middle of math class. (they still haven’t apologized to each other so they keep acting like it didn’t happen because they both think they’re right)

•the first time harleen called pam “green bean”, pam blushed and giggled...like FULL blown diana talking to steve giggle. and then she pushed harleen off a bridge with a vine on accident. harleen thought it was the funniest thing ever and pam could only awkwardly apologize for almost killing her teammate

•oliver and zee tried to co-write a christmas play but they were so busy fighting each other on who had a better ending they didn’t actually order any props or costumes for it. leaving the main actress to perform in a pirate outfit.

•kara still hangs out with bizarro super girl every now and again and they take turns ranting about their idiot cousins, it’s all light hearted because kara still has some emotional stuff to work through.

•diana unintentionally starts a “who will come out next” contest when she asks the girls about same sex attraction. she had seen leslie and dorris making out in one of the locker rooms (yes they FINALLY got together together) and asked her friends what it meant. after a lot of confusion as kara stumbled over her explanation of the lgbtq+ community, she ends up coming out as a lesbian first, followed by babs, who is bisexual, karen, who is questioning but absolutely had a crush on kara before their food fight detention day, and zee who is trans. they end up going to metropolis pride two months after that.

•diana is still convinced there is an oracle at the pier so every other sunday the girls go so she can spend all of her money on “knowing the future”

•babs never really gets angry on the daily and the rest of the girls learn why when some jerk at sweet justice insults jess’ looks because she wouldn’t go out with him. barbra turned bright red as she let him have it, words coming out of her mouth faster than barry can make their ice cream (they didn’t think she had it in her). and if he he ended up glued to his bed the next day, well, jess will let batgirl get away with that one JUST this once. barbra will NEVER not stick up for her friends.

•kara and babs often have multiple sleepovers a week, harleen even joins them sometimes when kara doesn’t mind her LOUD presence.

•the girls never get mad at one another when someone breaks down or blows up after holding certain feelings in for too long. whether it’s kara ghosting them for days leading up to her mom’s birthday, diana overworking herself to the point of exhaustion when she gets homesick, karen refusing to go out to anywhere except for school and tough missions for weeks at a time because she thinks she doesn’t matter, zee reading too many spells at once and giving herself an awful migraine after messing up an easy one, jessica isolating herself at lunch so she can sit in the library alone and cry to herself quietly after a hard day of training, or babs not being her normal happy self after having a heated argument with harleen, there will ALWAYS be a shoulder to cry on when someone needs it. If that comes in the form a knock on kara’s door as her friends invite themselves in with her favorite foods and a mega ‘feel better soon’ music playlist in tow, an impromptu destress retreat that they force diana to go on where she is only allowed to use a weapon if there is a direct threat, making a giant list of all the things they love about karen and reading it to her from outside her window, someone closing zee’s spell book and holding her tightly as her eyes turn back to normal from flaring pink with anger, all the girls quietly sitting with jessica one by one in the library and gently holding her hand as she lets out what she can, or buying limited edition comics and leaving them as presents for babs in her section of the hideout, there is ALWAYS someone there to make it hurt a little less.

the end :))

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: Wonder Woman 1984 (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: I haven’t been able to see this movie when it came out here in the U.K, so had to wait until a couple of days after Christmas to both watch and review it. If you haven’t seen this movie by the last week of the year and want to avoid spoilers go and watch it before reading on.

General Reaction:

I have finally seen Wonder Woman 1984, the first new superhero movie I have seen in 2020 outside of The New Mutants and my god it has been a trial to be able to watch this.

Being from the U.K, which was surprisingly a factor with one minor part of this movie, we over here usually get the big blockbusters particularly of the comic-book variety before or on the same day as the U.S. However, thanks to this fakakta pandemic and the new world order that movie studios and theatres find themselves in during 2020, I have been reduced to watching a blockbuster movie for the first time initially on my laptop rather than on the big screen as movies like this should be brought out first as.

I am fully aware that this is a global pandemic and that watching movies in the cinema pales in significance to what needs to be done to combat and eventually defeat this crisis, but being from an area where all cinemas are closed I’m out on a limb basically.

I won’t turn this part of the review into a COVID rant because frankly I am sick of talking about it but I do feel COVID will be a factor with the performance of these upcoming movies.

That being said, the second real world rant factor I have for this is WW1984 I feel has suffered due to constant schedule shifting and I feel a fairly uneven advertising campaign.

I went into this movie not thinking I was going to see the villains the way they are in the trailers or the comics and honestly it does seem that Cheetah and Max Lord, who are both credited Wonder Woman villains, have their roles reversed and the one who you think is going to be the biggest threat pretty much becomes a henchman and the one mainstream fans may not know a lot about is surprisingly the big threat but you’re also meant to feel sympathetic for both of them to a degree.

It seems a complete 180 spin from the first Wonder Woman movie which was a very grounded and gritty WW1 story to now be in the zany 80s...which as a decade has aspects of being zany yes but the way in which this movie plays out genuinely made me think of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies...but the best of them rather than Emo Peter.

There are so many plot points in this movie that more or less spawn from the main McGuffin of the movie which is the Dream Stone allowing people to make wishes but grants them with a sacrifice. The movie has several sub-plots that are the repercussions of the wishes that everyone makes and individually all of these sub-plots are very interesting...it’s when you then try to tie them all together for the big climactic battle that is when you get a bit of a mess,

Also, there is hardly any action in this movie and as both a Wonder Woman movie and a superhero movie in general, I am longing for some action sequences this year and the fact there are almost no good v evil fights would be disappointing, if not for the fact I understand where Patty Jenkins and the writers are trying to accomplish with this movie in comparison to the first movie.

I am not a massive Wonder Woman fan, I know the basics of Diana, the two Wonder Girls, Cheetah and Max Lord enough to understand what is going on. But the one thing that has always drawn me to her is that she is a hero with two distinct sides.

Firstly there’s the warrior that most mainstream fans would be aware of which is more played up in the first movie, but then there’s also the diplomat and the ambassador who attempts to always get across her message of peace which is more played up here.

If I think about it from that perspective, I can forgive the lack of action.

That being said, there is still a jumble of plot points that once you do untangle them all lead to the same conclusion, but there are too many ideas in 2h30 to make the movie coherent.

That’s the main negatives out of the way, the positives somewhat outweigh the negatives, let it be known I did enjoy this movie and there are some brilliant moments and sequences, but a lot of scenes aren’t developed enough or some aspects seem to be kept on the backburner maybe for a sequel.

Characters:

Diana:

We have to start with Wonder Woman herself, but as I mentioned before I am calling her Diana rather than Wonder Woman in my subheading because there wasn’t a lot of Wonder Woman action in this movie. If you’ve seen the trailers you’ve seen pretty much everything.

Going back to that first action piece when we are reintroduced to Wonder Woman at the shopping mall, I do understand why she’s doing what she’s doing by acting as a vigilante rather than a public superhero and not using violence does keep in step with where we first met her in Batman v. Superman during present day where she claims not to be about fighting or saving mankind anymore and to be honest here she does keep with that. She’s given up her Godkiller sword and shield but still makes full use of her lasso of truth along with her bracelets of submission and Aunt Antiope’s Tiara in a defensive manner but never to outwardly cause harm.

But yes, this entire sequence could easily substitute Wonder Woman with Spider-Man and her lasso and tiara with his web-shooters and feel like the good parts of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man movies. It’s just borderline corny and somewhat cartoonish particularly when she’s saving the two young girls by either dropping them on a rocking horse or spinning them into giant teddy bears.

Also there’s that Cairo highway chase scene which sees Steve and Diana chasing after Max Lord who has just achieved his goal of claiming an army. I both like and dislike this scene. I like the scene for showing the starting effects of Diana’s power loss which is later explained to be the cause of Barbara’s wish to be like her which means she is syphoning Diana’s power.

On the flip-side, I really don’t like the overall action in this scene. Firstly, she seemingly has her armour on underneath her clothes because as she’s getting out the car she has her clothes on one minute and her armour in the next shot with no spinning involved.

Secondly, she gets out the car and starts running almost instantly while the car is still moving...I get she’s a demigoddess and therefore normal laws of motion may not apply to her but there’s no dodgy transition or stumbling or anything, she just starts running...Baywatch style to a remix of her theme which is brilliant but because of her losing her powers she is somewhat weakened and therefore you see her bleed. The whole scene just seems rather sloppy.

Regardless of the somewhat lacklustre action of the movie, Wonder Woman 1984 excels in presenting a different form of battling with words rather than weapons. Diana’s message of hope and love at the end of the movie may be a complete switch around from how she was all for being the god-killer in the first movie where Ares was involved, but it’s definitely a good message and, particularly in these times, a needed message.

Sometimes love and hope is enough, Diana does try and see the best in everyone and cannot understand or comprehend evil unless there is no other option. Ares was the God of War and as such a personification of hate and therefore evil. Max was simply corrupted and misguided and Diana could see that, just as Barbara was.

All of this is sold in Gal Gadot’s performance. You can tell from the start Diana is doing what she’s doing because she feels it is what’s right, but particularly when Steve comes back and the ultimatum is either saving the world or keeping him she is definitely torn at one point. Steve is the only thing she has ever wished for herself other than becoming a warrior and protector so why shouldn’t she be rewarded for her decades of servitude?

Also, much like every movie she appears in, Gal Gadot looks stunning throughout this movie. Not just in her Wonder Woman and Golden Armor but also in her Diana persona, she wears what appears to be a boiler suit at one point in this movie and still looks like it could be modelled on a runway. I know Gal is/was a model but she is never defined by that. When she’s acting she’s an actress first and a model second and the clothes never wear her.

My favourite look of hers which I now have in Funko form is her gala dress because not only does it honour her Amazon roots but it just looks stunning.

Her Wonder Woman armour here is made somewhat more cheesecaky than her other versions and it does make Diana look somewhat like Wonder Woman barbie but because of the vibrant 80s setting this movie is in and particularly with who else shows up in the movie offering a great parallel to it, it actually won me over. If this is how Wonder Woman looks as a diplomat I’ll allow it.

I really do enjoy the parallels between the DCEU’s Diana Prince and Bruce Wayne in terms of the detective/vigilante combination. Because there was little fighting here, Diana was allowed to be the detective more, travelling to different places tracking down Max Lord and figuring out that the Dream Stone is the cause of Steve returning from the dead.

However, while they may be pushing Diana and Bruce together in the present day, Diana’s true love is Steve Trevor and the two do have a fantastic blend of a working and romantic partnership on par, for me, with Ant-Man and the Wasp from the comics.

Outside of Steve though, Diana definitely has no love-loss for other men until the end of this movie. She sees right through Max Lord’s childish bravado at the start of the movie, she’s quick to repel any letchy guy throughout this movie, and it isn’t until Steve effectively gives her permission to move on at the end that she does...albeit seemingly with the man whose body Steve took over which seems a little backwards to me but I’ll allow it.

Wonder Woman also gets some fancy new upgrades in this movie. Not only do we have more functions of the Lasso of Truth with showing memories and broadcasting a voice, but also Diana gets her invisible jet through the means of a new power being able to make things invisible which she says is inherited from her father (Zeus) who used the power to hide Themyscira from the world.

The jet is a great precursor to what comes later because while flying in the jet, Diana talks about her longing to be able to fly which we all know as fans that she can do in pretty much every other incarnation yet all we’ve seen her do in the DCEU is leap long distances.

So the payoff when she actually flies after letting go of Steve finally was fantastic, honestly a fist-pumped the air and startled my dog because I got that excited. I do love how she still uses her lasso to propel herself and swing from lightning because it’s kind of like training wheels but seeing her fly at the very end unaided was everything.

I can’t decide how I feel about the ending, I do love how Diana saved the day in terms of using words over weapons, but it’s the fact she is pretty much looking directly at the camera while giving this big hope and love speech implying that she is talking to us as an audience as well as the world within the movie. It just seems very much a #BeKind movement which, again, is an important message particularly in today’s climate. But why does this need to be in a superhero movie?

Gal Gadot continues to be rather funny in the role as well. As with the first movie though, her humour is never really in jokes or in her actions but rather in serious dry whit. This kind of humour is right up my street. From her rejection of Max’s offer to buy her a TV to teaching Steve about the advancements in the 1980s from his time it was all rather well handled.

Diana simply continues to be a very warm and welcoming hero and Gal Gadot radiates these traits effortlessly. You feel bad whenever she feels bad, you want to cry whenever she cries, you get angry whenever she gets angry and you smile whenever she smiles. Gal Gadot continues to be as perfect in the role of Wonder Woman as Johnny Depp is for Jack Sparrow and Rosario Dawson is Ahsoka Tano.

Max Lord:

Okay so this is where things get complex because, to the best of my knowledge, this version of Max Lord is not the same as the one from the comics or any other media I’ve seen...I genuinely actually think they say Lord isn’t even his actual surname in this movie.

Alright, so this is where I’m slightly conflicted on this character. Maxwell Lord from the comics and Smallville where I first became aware of the character is a meta with the ability to control minds.

Becoming the Dream Stone doesn’t really give him the same power as effectively it makes him a genie but the power of the dream stone being equivalent to that of the Monkey’s Paw which grants wishes with consequences I guess is of similar elk.

Also, it’s not stated but shown that Max has some sort of degenerative condition before obtaining the stone but using the power of the stone seemingly sped up the condition because by the third act of the movie he looked like a shell of a man.

Obviously he knew of this which is why he wanted to utilize the stone’s power to a mass audience in order to grant their wishes and in return syphon their health and wealth but this is why I say that neither he nor Barbara were true villains because they were corrupted by the power the stone gave them.

I have a very weird stance of sympathetic villains, Cheetah is supposed to be a sympathetic villain to a degree but I’ve never really seen Max as such. In Smallville he is pretty much a henchman or underling whereas in Supergirl he was somewhat an anti-hero towards the end but mainly a villain.

I get the movie’s message of “Nothing good comes from hate” is in reference to the stone which was made by a trickster god and as such is inherently corrupt which makes its users also corrupt but not evil. But considering I originally didn’t think Max would be the main antagonist of the movie, when it was revealed he was I wanted to see some evil for evil’s sake behaviour rather than power corrupts twice over.

Also, in relation to his wishing power, the scene in which he tries to go through numerous clients to regain his health does play off a lot like Lucifer luring out people’s greatest desires. 

Speaking of the wishes, two aspects of this I want to highlight. Firstly, when he reaches out to the world and grants everyone’s wishes, that one wish the diner lady utters about wanting the Irish to go back to where they come from...as someone of Irish heritage this is that wish I mentioned being from the U.K. was a surprising factor in for me...despite my Irish heritage being of Republic blood rather than Northern.

Secondly, I have now seen this movie twice and I do not know the reason for the weird satellite light that Max was in during the climax. I mean everything was basically going to hell and Max receiving the energy of the wishes and granting the wishes was basically giving him this protective funnel which Wonder Woman couldn’t penetrate, but was the light from the satellites and why did he need the satellites other to broadcast himself which he’s clearly already doing so what’s going on? I may not be making much sense but I genuinely don’t know what was going on at that point.

Pedro Pascal was still very good in this role, he comes across a lot better in the actual movie than he does in the trailers because the shots we see of him in the trailers I genuinely thought he was wearing a hairpiece, and he still might be but it looks more natural throughout the movie.

I know Pascal to be a rather funny individual in interviews and behind the scenes of other projects, but I’ve never seen him actually be funny in character...again I’m not sure how I feel about a comedic villain, but between this role and his role as Agent Whisky in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, he has the makings of a great villain actor.

There were times when Pascal played the character like Steve Carrell voice’s Gru in Despicable Me which again plays into the comedic villain angle but overall I felt his motives were clear and the way in which he went about achieving his goals was bold, ballsy and well executed.

I get why they added a son for Max in this movie and I am glad they stuck with the fact Pedro Pascal is Latino despite I don’t believe the character originally is but it added some diversity to the movie along with Gal Gadot’s Israeli accent. But yeah the point of the son was to personify what Max sacrificed in exchange for his wish because all he wants deep down is to be a success in his son’s eyes and feels this is how to go about it, but when it’s the choice between his son’s safety over the completion of his dynastic plan, similarly to Diana choosing to give up what she wants (Steve) for the greater good, he chooses his son.

Also I will say this. When Alastair tells Max that he already loves him because he’s his dad and strokes his face...Had I actually seen this movie when it came out in the U.K. it would have been two days before the finalé of The Mandalorian Season 2. But because I saw that finalé first and the very emotional scene between Din and Grogu...to see that pretty much replicated here felt slightly lacklustre.

Max doesn’t die at the end, no one dies in this entire movie (technically) so there is room for him to return unless they do another time jump. I’m not sure why he would return unless he goes full villain for villainy sake rather than corruption but I am actually happy he survived.

Having said that, one of Wonder Woman’s most famous moments from the comics is snapping the neck of Maxwell Lord. This could have easily been the climax of the movie but I feel thanks to Man of Steel giving this plot point to Superman when he snapped Zod’s neck, despite chronologically this coming first it would lose it’s momentum,

Cheetah:

I will admit I was not as disappointed with Barbara as I thought I would be going into this movie.

Having said that, I’m going to start with the negatives before talking about the positives of the character.

Firstly, both Barbara and later Cheetah are redheads, Kristen Wiig is naturally not but for the role of the character she could have easily worn a wig or died her hair for the role because not only is Barbara being portrayed as the ditzy blonde at the start of the movie a little redundant at this point, when she became Cheetah it did not look right with her as a blonde.

Now let’s talk about the actual Cheetah look. We’ve seen that one shot of her in the DC Fandome trailer but it was so dark and so quick that there was practically nothing to analyse, seeing her appear in the final 30 minutes of this movie...which is how long she actually appears as Cheetah...it’s both a lot to take in but also a lot to be disappointed in.

So Barbara’s turning point to villainy I feel isn’t when she beats up that man who attempted to assault her, but instead when she fears Diana and Steve are talking about killing Max to save the world because he absorbed the stone and the stone needs to be destroyed to save the world from carnage.

At this point she appears at the White House just as Diana has Max captive, dressed in this admittedly trendy Cheetah-print attire, incapacitates or possibly kills the White House security team and gives both Wonder Woman and Steve a whooping.

Firstly, the very fact there was no mention of the fact Barbara could tell Diana Prince and Wonder Woman were the same person just shows how daft the secret identities of some of these DC Heroes is.

But secondly, when Max retreats, Barbara hitches a ride with him and gets another wish for saving his life. Rather than wishing to be like Diana this time, she wishes to become an Apex Predator and is therefore granted the anger and vengeance of all the people Max grants wishes to via satellite.

This combination somehow turns her into a Cheetah as when we next see her she is Cheetah...a very badly CG’d undeveloped version of Cheetah but this is our Cheetah.

My version of Cheetah is from Injustice 2 and I know a bit of her backstory in the comics enough to know she was an archaeologist who was cursed to become the Cheetah and how in the DC Rebirth Wonder Woman, Barbara and Diana were friends but then when she became Cheetah, she felt betrayed by Diana and became her enemy that way.

That’s kind of similar here but it’s not a Cheetah curse that made her Cheetah, it’s a wish and a very literal interpretation of the wish “I want to become an Apex predator”...what’s an apex predator? A cheetah, get it?

Also as Cheetah, she just looks like Barbara styled her hair different and bought a Cheetah onesie. I wish she had gone full cheetah with the face, instead we get some very weird make-up which seems to wash off when they land in the water and some weird contouring or something to give Kristen Wiig a different nose...they could have continued the Cheetah fur on the face, given her cat-eyes, bigger fangs, something!

Again, Barbara’s villainy stems from power corruption, Barbara’s first wish was wanting to be like Diana and because of this got her powers so went a little bit power mad when she discovered she had super strength and speed.

Interestingly though, despite being electrocuted, Barbara does survive and when all the wishes are renounced she reverts back to a human...or does she?

Keep in mind that we never see Barbara take back her wish, in fact she is quite adamant in not doing that which leads Diana to making the hard call. The fact is it was by Max’s hand that Barbara finally became Cheetah so when he took back the wish of becoming the Dream Stone, that wish was rescinded…but Barbara’s original wish of becoming like Diana and thus gaining the powers of an Amazon demigoddess actually might still be in tact.

It’s implied that she is still pissed at Diana even after reverting back to human, so I do see her returning more than I do Max Lord but in her return I hope there’s a Cheetah redemption.

Steve Trevor:

I am really starting to be won around by Chris Pine as an actor. Originally in my list of “Hollywood Chris’” he was at the bottom because he isn’t Marvel, but now I think I actually would put him ahead of Pratt. Not only do I love him in this role here but also Rise of the Guardians which I’ve re-watched over the holidays.

So when it was announced that Pine would return as Steve Trevor in a movie set decades after the first movie which he died in, I like a lot of fans were curious as to how they were going to accomplish this. I mean we’re dealing with the DC variation of Greek Mythology and so I thought maybe Hades could be a factor, but then when the MacGuffin known officially I think as a Dream Stone became a factor with the trailers, the idea of him being resurrected as a wish by Diana was speculated which was kind of true but there was a catch in that he only came back to Diana but taking over another man’s body.

The movie I think beautifully brings Diana’s childhood lesson taught to her by Aunt Antiope about cheating full circle with the wish she makes to see Steve again. In her defence, Diana did not know what she was doing or that she was actually wishing on a wishing stone, but when she realises the impact that this seemingly innocent wish is having on the world, ultimately she has to wake up to the fact that this is a cheat because Steve is dead but Diana has brought him back in another man’s body...without his consent. Again, NOT DIANA’S FAULT, but she is pseudo-responsible and so can’t win because she cheated. This is a plot point I wish they had developed further or highlighted more because, having seen it twice now in the past 24 hours, that is probably my favourite message of the movie. Cheaters never prosper, not even Wonder Woman or Cheetah.

Steve being introduced to the 1980s was a great chance to reverse the fish out of water story Diana had in the first movie but while hers was one of both wonder and humour, Steve’s was mostly wonder and it was so endearing to see.

I loved how we didn’t take too long on Steve exploring the 80s, I liked how organically it was woven into the ongoing story. We did get that great small touring scene of Diana showing Steve the art and the breakdancing, but that he discovered pop tarts and his wonder in wanting to fly that jet rather than simply get on a plane to travel to Cairo, it was all very well done and that’s mostly on Chris Pine.

I did find the body-snatching a little bit creepy at first and at the very end. We didn’t meet the guy that Steve inhabited (for want of a better word) so I don’t feel strongly positively or negatively about him because we don’t know him, but when we meet him at the end when we somehow flashforward from July to Christmas, I did feel weird that not only did it seem that he and Diana were interested in each other but also the fact it wasn’t even mentioned that he couldn’t remember the time that Steve was in his body.

As I said before when talking about Diana, the blend of the romantic/working relationship between Diana and Steve is (sorry) #relationshipgoals for superhero couplings. I am aware that Steve Trevor isn’t a superhero but neither is Lois Lane but both civilian halves of these superhero couples are very potent in the comics and I have never understood this particular relationship until now.

Steve is as strong a part of the duo as Wonder Woman is because while he doesn’t have her Amazon physiology, he has that core inner strength that he had in the last movie which is why he sacrificed himself originally...now yes he pretty much did the exact same thing here but this was after he was pretty much carrying Diana through that D.C. street and seeing all the chaos that these wishes were causing...genuine anarchy....that Steve knew the only way Diana could regain her strength and save the world was for her to let go of him.

It was the most emotional scene of the movie for me and the only scene to almost make me cry. after crying at the Mandalorian finalé I am not crying at another show or film for a while but still, because not only could you tell both of them didn’t want this to happen but also as Diana pulls herself away from Steve not looking at her as the camera pans away from him you just hear his voice saying “I will always love you Diana, no matter where I am”. There’s never been a more potent portrayal of a superhero couple in my opinion in the movies. Tony and Pepper came close in Avengers: Endgame but this tops it for me.

Do I see Steve returning again? Yes, because I feel when you’re dealing with a property about gods and magic there is always potentiality for anything. I mean this movie is the definition of potentiality for anything because I think if it does succeed then they get away with a lot that other properties wouldn’t, but anyway yes I want Chris Pine to return to this role because I love him in it.

Amazons:

This is another scenario where the advertising lets the audience make up what is in store for us with announcements because announcing that Robin Wright is returning as Antiope after dying at the start of the last movie does raise suspicion.

The obvious solutions were resurrection, vision or flashback and for the majority of Amazon scenes save for one it was all flashbacks which I’m not going to grumble at because I enjoyed that opening scene.

I like how Themyscira basically has their own version of Ninja Warrior and that this scene was most likely set chronologically after Antiope agreed to train her. Which begs the question why her mother was so okay with it considering even as an adult Hippolyta has issues with Diana becoming a warrior but her contribution was so short I let that slide.

I’ve already mentioned how Antiope’s lesson of cheater’s never prosper was utilized so well in this movie but, similarly to Chris Pine, I just love any reason to bring back Robin Wright.

Aside from Hippolyta and Antiope though there was a third minor Amazon focused on in a couple of scenes in this movie, that is the ancient Amazon warrior Asteria.

Asteria was mentioned a couple of times, firstly by Hippolyta in reference to her statue as someone to strive to become and then by Diana to Steve when discussing the origins of her Golden Armor. During this discussion we see a flashback of Asteria in a crouched position being whaled on by Neanderthals protecting the Amazons as they retreated to Themyscira. We only see her eyes and at this point in the movie I thought Asteria was a throwaway character and so Connie Nielson was doing double-time as Hippolyta and Asteria.

However, this proves to be untrue as in the only post-credits scene we get we see Asteria walking down seemingly the same street we left Diana on in Washington, though they never clarify where it is. Furthermore we originally only see the back of her and she is dressed a lot like Diana with the same hair and clothing style. She even effortlessly stops a pillar or lamppost from crashing down.

But it isn’t Diana, at least not the one Gal Gadot is portraying...as it is revealed to be Asteria portrayed by Lynda Carter in a fabulous short, sweet and somewhat cheeky sequence where she states “I’ve been doing this for a long time” with a cheeky wink directly to the camera. I mean she basically echoes lines Diana says in the movie, but the fact it’s OG Wonder Woman and knowing we’re also getting Michael Keaton returning as Batman in the upcoming Flashpoint movie, it’s all just brilliant.

Obviously for fans of the Supergirl series, Lynda Carter had a recurring role on that as Earth-38′s President of the United States who was an alien and I have also seen her in Sky High, but looking at her here she just looks flawless.

Does this mean we’re going to see Asteria in Wonder Woman 3? I can’t wait to find out.

DCEU:

Speaking of the larger DCEU, this movie does absolutely nothing to connect itself to any other DC movie or property. We’re in 1984...Bruce Wayne is 12 so at this point has lost his parents, the original Black Canary is potentially crime-fighting, it’s the year Lex Luthor is born, Clark Kent is living in Smallville, Amanda Waller would just be starting out in the career that would see her become director of ARGUS. There are so many possibilities particularly as we haven’t had a movie set in the 80s within the DCEU before.

This is where DC continues to flounder where Marvel succeeds. They do not grab the opportunities for a cinematic universe expansion and instead keep everything contained. I don’t even think the events of Wonder Woman were mentioned outside of Steve’s death.

Particularly as we now have to wait until August for The Suicide Squad as the next DC movie (outside of the Snyder Cut), it would have been nice either if there would have been a tease to lead into that or even if something in this movie links to the Snyder Cut of Justice League.

Overall I rate this movie a 7/10, it’s a very enjoyable movie if you manage to follow all the threads the plot weaves into this movie, because they’re not seamless.

I’ve actually paid attention to the box office, reviews and CinemaScore for these movies since Birds of Prey and I have to say for being a focussed Wonder Woman movie it is underperforming from the first one with a B+ here as opposed to an A there, but considering Diana’s first outing was in Batman v Superman with a B score, I think the fact both Justice League and this have a B+ bodes well as it averages out with middle of the pack superhero movies, and that’s a good way to describe this movie.

It’s not better than the original, and there are many tangles within it, but it’s not a terrible movie. Again I’ve seen it twice in the last 24 hours and neither time got old for me.

So that’s my review of Wonder Woman 1984, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC Movie Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.

[keyofjetwolf]

Pitch Me your thing!

HELLO HELLO MY SUNBEAMS. For most every category, there was an impressive turn-out for pitches, so I thought we’d utilize the weirdness of this year’s GIFTENING to give something new a try. The popular vote winner for each category will happen on the first day, but on the second, the winner will be chosen from YOUR PITCHES. Mostly those pitches will be to me. The exception is in Miscellaneous, where you’ll be pitching to my family, because what I want to do and what is most entertaining isn’t necessarily the same thing.

So! How will we do this thing? GLAD YOU ASKED. I’ll link you to a form in a minute with space for one pitch. Once you fill it out, you’ll be asked if you want to do another. There’s no limit to the number of pitches you can send in! But remember that if you submit multiple entries for the same category, you’ll basically be competing against yourself.

NOW WE’VE GOT SOME RULES FOR DOING THIS (which I mostly stole from Holligay, because I have no creativity this year). Please read them carefully! I’ll toss pitches that break any of these, and I’d rather your hard work not go to waste.

Pitch Me is open for your submissions from RIGHT NOW (22 December) through the very last day of this hellyear (31 December) at 11:59pm MT.

The thing you pitch must have come from what was nominated for THE GIFTENING 2020. (Full list of those nominations in every category below the cut on this post.)

Entries must be unsigned! I’m looking to chose based on the pitch alone, regardless of who submitted it.

The pitch itself must be 100 words or less. HAVE PITY ON ME I CAN ONLY CONSUME SO MUCH.

If you’d like to get some help, ideas, feedback, all that good stuff, the Discord is a FANTASTIC resource I encourage you to use.

HERE IS YOUR PITCH SUBMISSION LINK

And, as promised, below the cut you’ll find the list of all the nominees in every category you guys sent in this year. IT’S A LONG LIST HAVE FUN WITH THAT

Anime

A Place Further Than The Universe/Sora Yori mo Toi Basho Ace Attorney (Gyakuten Saiban) Action Heroine Cheer Fruits Aggretsuko Aho Girl Air Master Akuma No Riddle Alien Nine Angel Beats! Angelic Layer Appare-Ranman Aria Aria the Animation Arrietty/ The Secret World of Arrietty (Ghibli film) Ascendance of a Bookworm Azumamga Daioh Baccano! Beastars Black Cat Blood + (the series) Bloom Into You Blue Drop/Tenshitachino Gikyoku Bodacious Space Pirates (starting right where you left off) BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense Boku no hero academia Bubblegum Crisis Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card Cardcaptor Sakura Castlevania the Animated Series Cells at Work Chaos; Head Chihayafuru Code Geass cowboy Bebop Cyborg 009 Death Note Death Parade Deca-Dence Demon Girl Next Door Demon Slayer (Kimetsu no Yaiba) Diebuster: Aim For the Top 2 Dog Days dorohedoro Dot Hack//SIGN Dr. Stone Elfen Lied Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi) Escaflowne Excel Saga Fantastic Children Fate/Zero Flip Flappers Fresh Precure Fruits Basket 2019 Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Ga rei Zero GaoGaiGar gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex Ghost Stories (dubbed) Girls' Last Tour Great Pretender Hoseki no Kuni/ Land of the Lustrous House of Five Leaves/ Saraiya Goyou Inari konkon koi iroha Interviews with Monster Girls Inuyasha Isekai Izakaya "Nobu" Jellyfish Princess/ Kuragehime JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable Kaguya-sama Love Is War Kaleido Star Kannazuki no Miko Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! Kemono Friends Kiki's Delivery Service Kimi ni Todoke: From Me To You Kino's Journey/Kino no Tabi (2003) Land of the Lustrous (Houseki no Kuni) Little Witch Academia Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files EP0 {"A Grave Keeper") Love is Hard for an Otaku Love Live! Sunshine!! lupin the 3rd part 4 Madoka: The Rebellion Movie Magic knight rayearth Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha March Comes in Like a Lion Mardock Scramble Master of Martial Hearts Mawaru Penguindrum Megalobox Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Mob Psycho 100 Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) Monster Mushishi My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome) My Love Story!!! My Neighbor Totoro My Next Life As A Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom My Roommate is a Cat NANA Naruto Natsume’s Book of Friends Neon Genesis Evangelion (hateblog) New Cutey Honey Nichijou Ōban Star-Racers One Piece Ouran High school Host club Outlaw Star Paranoia Agent Perfect Blue Please Save My Earth Pop Team Epic Pretty Cure Fresh Princess Jellyfish/ Kuragehime Princess Mononoke Princess Principal Princess Tutu Project A-Ko promised neverland (/yakusoku no neverland) Psycho-Pass Ranma 1/2 Re: Cutie Honey Re:Creators Read or Die (OAV) Red Garden relife Revolutionalry Girl Utena Rose of Versailles Ruroni Kenshin Sailor Moon Sailor Moon (viz dub) Samurai Champloo (english dub) Sarazanmai School Days School-Live! Scum's Wish Senki Zesshou Symphogear (listed as just "Symphogear" on Crunchyroll.) Serei no Moribito (Guardian of the Spirit) Shin Sekai Yori (From The New World) Shirobako Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle Smile Pretty Cure (Japanese original)/ Glitter Force (english adaptation) Snow White with the Red Hair Sound Euphonium Strawberry Panic (yuri) Sweetness and Lightning The Devil is a Part-timer The Devil Lady The disasterous life of saiki k (saiki kusuo no Sai Nan) The End of Evangelion (movie) the Promised Neverland The Twelve Kingdoms Tiger & Bunny Tokimeki Tonight ToraDora Tsubasa Chronicle Umineko When They Cry Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid Vinland Saga Violet Evergarden Whispered Words (Sasameki Koto) With a Dog AND a Cat, Every Day is Fun Yona of the Dawn Yu Yu Hakusho Yugioh Duel Monster Yuki Yuna is a Hero Yuri Kuma Arashi Yuri On Ice!!! Zoids: Chaotic Century Zombie Land Saga

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time Amphibia Animainiacs (Original) Animaniacs (Reboot) Archie's Weird Mysteries As Told By Ginger Barbie Life in The Dreamhouse Batman the Animated Series Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot Big Mouth Bob's Burgers Bojack Horseman Bravest Warriors Captain N: the Game Master Carmen Sandiego (1994) Carmen Sandiego (2019) Castlevania (Netflix) Cats Don't Dance Coco Courage the Cowardly Dog Craig of the Creek Cyber Six Daria Darkwing Duck Dragon Booster Dragons: Riders of Berk DuckTales (2017) Exo-Squad Fern Gully Fillmore! Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Futurama Gargoyles Glitch Techs Godzilla: The Animated Series Green Lantern the Animated Series Hedgehog in the Fog (Ёжик в тумане) Hey Arnold Hilda Infinity Train Iron Giant JEM Kim Possible Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts Legend of Zelda animated series (1989) Legion of Super-Heroes Liberty Kids Magical Girl Friendship Squad Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart The Legend of Korra Moominvalley Motorcity My Little Pony (Classic, NOT FiM) My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks Onyx Equinox Over the Garden Wall Over the Moon (2020 film) Owl House Primal Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure Redwall Rise of the TMNT Roco's Modern Life Rugrats RWBY Samurai Jack Seis Manos She-Ra (1985) She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Sonic Boom Spartakus and the Sun Beneath the Sea Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse Star vs. the Forces of Evil Strange Magic Super Mario Brothers Super Show Superman: The Animated Series Teen Titans The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo The Animals of Farthing Wood The Dragon Prince The Hollow The Legend of Tarzan (TV series) The Magic School Bus (1994) The Mysterious Cities of Gold The Pirate Fairy (Disney Fairies) The Powerpuff Girls (1998) The Real Ghostbusters Thundercats (1985) Thundercats (2011) Transformers: Prime Tuca and Bertie Twelve Forever Undone Venture Bros Wakko's Wish Wakfu Wander Over Yonder We Bare Bears (TV) Winx Club Wreck-It Ralph (2012) X-Men Evolution X-Men: The Animated Series Xiaolin Showdown

Live Action

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea 28 Days Later 3rd Rock from the Sun A Series of Unfortunate Events American Horror Story: Asylum Babysitter's Club (2020) Batman (the old Adam West version) Better Call Saul Black Mirror Blackbeard's Ghost (Peter Ustinov) Boston Legal Boy Meets World Boys Over Flowers Bromance (Taiwanese tv series) Brooklyn 99 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cadfael Cagney and Lacey Charmed (2018) Chopped Cleopatra 2525 Cloak and Dagger Clue (1985) Community Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Dead Like Me Dead To Me Deadwood Death Note (Netflix) Derry Girls Dimension 20 - The Unsleeping City Doctor Who (New) Doom Patrol Dracula's Daughter (1936) Escape to the Chateau Farscape Fingersmith Galavant Godzilla (2014) Gokushufudo (2020 Japanese TV drama) Golden Girls Good Omens H20: Just Add Water (somewhere in seasons 1-2) Happy New Year Harley Quinn movie Hateblog a REALLY STRAIGHT soap opera. Haunting of Bly Manor His Dark Materials (HBO series) Holes Hot Fuzz House Inception Inside No. 9 Iron Chef America Joan of Arcadia Julie and the Phantoms Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Kamen Rider Build Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Kamen Rider Fourze Killing Eve Knives Out Letterkenny Leverage Little Women (2019) Lucifer Matlock Majisuka Gakuen MASH Merlin Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol Money Talks (1997 film) Motherland: Fort Salem Murder She Wrote Mythbusters Nailed It! Never Have I Ever Once Upon a Time Orphan Black Pen 15 PGSM Pi (1998) Picnic at Hanging Rock (2018) Pride and Prejudice: A New Musical Puppy Bowl Pushing Daisies Rome (hateblog) Russian Doll Sabrina Sense8 Sera Myu: Un Nouveau Voyage Shameless Sierra Burgess Smallville So Weird Star Trek: TOS (or their films) Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Star Trek: Voyager Stargate Atlantis Suckerpunch Supernatural (out of context speedrun the last three episodes) Sweetheart Switched at Birth Tall Girl Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles The Addams Family (1964) The Big Flower Fight The Booth at the End The Bride With White Hair The Crown The Fresh Prince of Bel Air The Good Place The Kissing Booth The L Word The Librarians The Magicians The Muppet Show The Pregnancy Pact The Room The Steve Harvey Show The Stranded The Untamed The Witcher The Wolfman (1941) Torchwood Twilight Zone (original) Twin Peaks Ultraman Nexus Umbrella Academy Van Helsing Warehouse 13 Warrior Nun What We Do In The Shadows (tv show) Will & Grace Wynonna Earp X-Men 2: X-Men United Xena: Warrior Princess

Miscellaneous

Alpha Flight #41-62 Anime music dance party, the logistics of which are to be determined! Ask Hot Pocket and/or Mina-pup AskSharknado: Giftening Edition Attempt to make French macaroons Commentary on old Goggles Critical Role Crowdsourced: A Black Mirror-style day where Jetty has to ask what her choices are of the audience for everything! I give you a menu, you decide what she has for dinner? What does she wear? Does she walk on the track or do the eliptical? Does she go to a movie with Doc or play a video game with Mike? Can be done alongside other stuff. Doodle Day Dramatic readings of fan fiction! Drunk History (or whatever your favorite subject would be) with Jet Wolf! Drunk Sailor Moon Exorcising Closet Ghost Fic Prompts Day Figuarts Day! (Not specifically freeing anyone, just various fun poses and such) Guess the plot of a show based on its opening Her Shim-Cheong (manhwa) House of X/Powers of X Hubby's Choice IDW Jem comics liveblog Intros Only (watch show openings, give commentary, guess what show is about, etc.) Jackbox Games Jet Wolf paints along with Bob Ross Jet and Doc go to Heaven/Hell, respectively: Jet gets to write reams of words about the awesomeness of Rei Hino and Doc has to read all of them and say ONLY NICE THINGS. Jet does Tiktok dances Jet Liveblogs Holligay: A Nature Documentary Jet Ranks Sailor Moon Image Songs Jet Reads Goosebumps Jet Reads Legion of Super-Heroes Jet redesigns the Wolf and Gay offices! Jet shows off her knitting Jet Wolf attempts to recreate scenes from Sailor Moon with Mina and Hot Pocket and/or whatever is in the house Jet Wolf reacts to Sailor Moon tiktoks (in blog form) Jet Wolf reads Love and Rockets. Jet Wolf reads the Jem comics by IDW Jet Wolf reviews her old top 100 Sailor Moon moments list Jet Wolf talks about Archie Comics Jet Wolf talks about each cel she owns and why they are so awesome. Jet Wolf writes Poetry Jet Wolf's Top 5's Jet, Hubby and/or family play board games Jetty Rants and Raves Jet Wolf tries to crack the Gravity Falls Codes Kiwi Blitz on Hiveworks Let's Play on Webtoon Liveblog: Favorite X-Men comic book arcs Livestream Pathfinder one-shot LOONA (Collection of music videos with an ongoing story/universe about GIRLS who are FRIENDS and SAVE THE UNIVERSE) Lore Olympus on Webtoon Mike regales us with "the story of your love" while you get increasingly embarrassed Mina and Hot Pocket day - liveblog like a nature documentary Mister Tsukino Does His Taxes and the Household Budget (Sailor Moon fan comic by Shadowjack) Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake Not So Shoujo Love Story on Webtoon Pitch Mishaps for Untitled Senshi Game (it is a lovely day in Juuban, and you are a Horrible Minako.) Pitching hubby's favorite media at (readers/holligay/jill/momigay) Playing with dolls (because how could 3 women not have any dolls between them) Re-Take By Studio Kimigabuchi (All Ages Version) Real or Fake Anime (people submit descriptions of anime you guess if it is an anime that actually exists or not) Reviewing succulents Scavenger hunt! Not entirely sure how it would work, maybe folks could send in asks for you to show things like your favorite Rei Hino object, or the thing that's been with you the longest, etc. sewing/knitting/baking tutorial Share or rant about a Roman history topic Sleepless Domain on Hiveworks Talking to Docholligay 2: Doc Harder (basically you talking to Doc's future womb evictee while still in there and telling them stuff like say the greatness of Rei Hino) The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess (manhwa) The Polar Bear Plunge--I take Jetty to our finest Lake Elmo in January, and she jumps in! Note: THIS IS NOT DANGEROUS, WORRYWARTS. I'll bring a life preserver, I've done it before, and I would do it with her if I weren't pregnant. The Senshi Helpline--The Senshi, taking your advice questions, here and now! The World of Moral Reversal Virtual knitting/crafting circle! Let us craft and chat with you! What-If #24 Gwen Stacy Lived Worm the web serial Write an explanation for a drawing we send you! Yuri Hell's Kitchen

[lovemesomesurveys]

Thought I Couldn't Top It, Huh? OVER 2000 Questions! (Truly the Longest!) Created by distortedcognition

Part 14 Which Age is this Appropriate For... Radios. Whenever. Gardening. I know that elementary school kids do gardening projects sometimes, so as long as they have adult supervision and help when using the gardening tools and they’re able to use them properly I don’t see a problem. Lava lamps. I had one when I was a kid. Black lights. Uhh, I don’t see why a kid or teenager would have a use for one, but a teen could I guess. Hovercrafts. Teenager. Cars. When they’re the legal age to get their permit and license at least. And responsible enough. Not all teenagers should be out on the road that’s for sure, but there’s a lot of adults who shouldn’t be either. Spaghetti straps. Teenager. Hopscotch. As soon as they can walk? My Little Pony. Whenever.

Barbies. Whenever. Tonka trucks. Whenever. Edgar Allan Poe. Probably teenager to likely understand it better. MySpace. Social media should be teenager at least. The Internet in general. Kids can use it, but with parental guidance and have all the safety settings in place. The time should be limited as well, and educational stuff included. Neopets. Again, kids can use stuff like that just be monitored.  Quizilla. Teenager. Vampirefreaks. Teenager. Disney. Same thing I’ve said already about kids using the internet. Lizzie McGuire. Teenagers would probably enjoy it more, but it’s also kid appropriate I think. Beauty and the Beast. Kids can watch it if they want. Elton John. I mean, whenever really. I don’t find his music to be inappropriate. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Again, whenever really. Probably nice to start young children on classical music. Bauhaus. I don’t know what that is. Satanism. Uh, I would say never. Biolage. ?? Hair curlers. Whenever. Hairspray. I mean, I guess whenever but I don’t see why a kid would need to. I guess in some cases if they’re like a cheerleadr, ballet dancer, etc where they have to have their hair done and kept in place. Nail polish. I don’t see an issue with kids wearing it. Short skirts. I’d say young adult. Bikinis. I’d say young adult as well, but I guess mid to late teens. Tanning. When done right and safe, I don’t see why a teen couldn’t get a natural tan or use some tanning lotion. I don’t see the need for spray tans and tanning beds, personally. Fun. Uh, all ages? When to form your own band. Teenager. Playing the piano. Kid. But if that’s what they want to do, not something they’re pressured to do by their parents. It should be fun and encouraged, not something forced. Staying home alone. Teenager and if they’re responsible enough to do so.  Videogames. Depends on the type of game. Dora the Explorer. Kids. The Little Mermaid. Kids. Eminem. Teenager. PLAGIARIZING. No one should. Voting. 18. Perfume. Probably teenager, but I would say body spray over perfume at that age. Makeup. Teenager. Accessorizing. Whenever. Finding Nemo. Whenever. Pirates of the Caribbean. Whenever. Swearing. I would say adult, but we know that’s not happening. Going to war. At least 18 I guess. Sports. Whenever, just if it’s done safe and age appropriate.  Having a child. Adult who is responsible and ready to do so would be ideal. Getting married. Adult. Living on your own. Adult. Teen Spirit. Teen?

Lady Speed Stick. Oh, Teen Spirit the deodorant haha I’m dumb. Anyway, whenever they hit puberty and start needing it. Cologne. Teenager. NASA. Adult.

Going on a cruise. Whenever. College. Young adult and up is how it usually goes, but some teenagers are able to get into college. Graduating from high school. Teen. Going to the movies without a parent. Teen. Santa Claus. Hey, as long as you want. Easter Bunny. Whenever. Tooth fairy. Whenever. Bird watching. Whenever, I guess? Coin collecting. Whenever. Housekeeping. You can give kids light chores, nothing too crazy. Like to pick up their toys. Pink Panther. Whenever. Sherlock Holmes. Probably middle school school and up. Oscar Wilde. Teenager. RL Stine. I was reading Goosebumps in elementary school. Lemony Snicket. Elementary school. JK Rowling. Elementary school. Terry Brooks. Not sure who that is. Alvin Schwartz. ^^^ JRR Tolkein Probably teenager. Charles Dickens. Probably middle school. Ernest Hemingway. Middle school. Green Day. Teenager. Ghost stories. I mean, it can. be fun for kids but keep it light and appropriate and if they’re scared then obviously stop.  Law and Order: SVU. Teenager. Campfires. Kids can do it if they’re with adult supervision. Sleepovers. Kids. Sleepover parties. What’s the difference? American Idol. Whenever.

Freckles. Whenever?? That’s not something you can control and they’re just freckles... Whitened teeth. Teenager at least. Plastic surgery. Adult. Community service. Depends on what they’re doing. I did some volunteer work as a Girl Scout when I was a kid. What will Happen/How will the world End? **I’m skipping this.** Giant tornado. Nuclear war. Giant tsunami. A title wave. An asteroid. Explosion of the sun. Giant volcanic erruption. Giant freak afternoon tea accident. Giant missile crisis. Another Great Depression. Only worse. Earthquake. Penguins will take over the world. Parrots become the dominant. Alien invasion. Bigfoot will invite his pals over, Bighead, Bighands, and Bigtummy. Lochness monster will have children. Everyone will turn cannibalistic. Everyone will run out of natural resources. Third Ice Age. Global warming. Precambrian Eon will return. Toxic fumes. Disappearing water. Planet collision. Termites. George W. Bush will get a third reelection. Everyone will commit suicide. Intergalactic highway construction. Intergalactic spies like Kiri will take over. PLAGIARISTS will rule the world. Lions will eat us all. Cockroaches will rule the world. A pandemic. The Black Plague will avenge itself. Mythical creatures will come back and reclaim their world. The Big Bang will reoccur. Pesticide will kill all the insects in the world. The Earth will spontaneously combust. The world will collapse. Genocide. All the money will burn. Cell phones really did cause brain tumors. Karma will kill us. All the stars in the universe will explode at once. Ghosts will kill us. A giant fan will blow us away. Pizza Hut will explode. Hair curlers will burn us all. Everyone will get a perm and die of fright from looking at each other. Grandmas will turn rabid. PLAGIARISTS will make Reko and Kiri angry. The Mohorovicic Discontinuity will disappear. Daddy Long Legs will get a larger mouth. People get so lazy that their lawn will grow too high to allow sunlight in. Twinkle will succeed as a dictator. Star will become president. Biotech disaster. People will not actually save money switching to Geico. Cingular and Verizon will never join. Pollution. Giant feet. o.o Everyone will become a movie copycat. Pandemonium at football games will get a little too extreme.

[punkscowardschampions]

Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁  🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨  wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: 👿 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 🕣 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨

[chimchimdumpling]

Champagne Corks ❧ Im Jaebum

For @endearkim ‘cause even though my writing is shit she still pretends to like me

Warnings: A teeny tiny bit of angst, a dangerously cute JB

Word count: 2,8k

Summary: Doing stuff the conventional way is just not your thing.

"Honestly, how the fuck do people deal with this dating stuff?", Ara, your colleague and friend huffed out while sinking down in one of the chairs of your office's break room. With a frown you handed her the cup of coffee you had originally poured for yourself. "That bad?"

She sighed. You sat down across from her and smiled sympathetically. "I'll take that as a yes. What happened?" "Just the usual. He would have been perfect if he hadn't been... him, you know? His job is interesting, his friends are nice but his personality is just-" she made a gagging sound, making you chuckle. "At this point I'm seriously considering getting my vagina vacuum sealed. I mean look at barbie- seems to work out for her- she's got a jeep, a pony, a mansion,-" "- a boyfriend...", you interrupted her. She rolled her eyes. "Is she still with that Ken guy? God, how does she deal with that stupid grin?" You laughed about her joke yet couldn't help but wonder how Ara out of all people always seemed to end up with complete douchebags. Such a great person, such little luck. "Just promise me you'll wait another few years with the whole sealing thing? Trust me, someone's out there just waiting for you to smudge their stuff with your lipstick." The memory of how she had eternally stained one of your favourite sweaters on your first encounter managed to put a genuine smile on her lips. "Can't you just give me the number of the guy you bribed to get Jaebum? Please?", she whined and you both laughed. "It's like you two escaped from a Nicholas Sparks movie." The thought of your very indeed perfect boyfriend almost made you blush. "Gah, stop it!" you gushed while throwing a sugar pack at her. "How long have you been together now?" "We're a month away from two years." Ara let out an 'aawww' while looking at her watch. "Enough about our love lives, I'm afraid we've gotta get to work- see you at lunch?", she asked and got up. You nodded and were convinced she muttered something like 'I swear to god If I don't get to be bridesmaid' to herself on her way to her office. After gathering all of your motivation to start your day you, too, got up to get to your office as you suddenly started feeling a bit dizzy. Even though you were as happy as never before work was quite literally killing you, the toll the lack of sleep had taken on you just being the living proof for that. You set a mental reminder for you to drink more and finally got to work. The next two weeks passed by in a blur, the clammy feeling of nausea and dizziness never quite leaving your bones. You now got home even later than your boyfriend in the evenings, causing you to blame the things that seemed off about your health on the sleep deprivation. And still you couldn't help but notice that your were growing distant to him, the possibility of this one big thing constantly nagging at the back of your head.

"Ground control to Major (Y/N), do you wanna order something to eat, too?", Jackson, one of Jaebum's band members waved his hand in front of your face to gain your attention. You snapped out of your thoughts and shook your head. "No thanks, I'm not really hungry." He furrowed his eyebrows in surprise. "Who are you and what have you done to (Y/N)?" You grinned half heartedly, stating that you'd already had a quick evening snack with your colleagues. All the while you felt Jaebum's dark eyes on you, observing you, scanning your every move. Just like most Friday nights spent with the chaotic pile of rascals that Got7 was, everyone decided to join Mark and Jackson on their late run for takeout. Everyone except Jaebum and you, apparently. "You guys go ahead, (Y/N) and I are gonna set the table and choose a movie." Yugyeom and Bambam exchanged looks wiggling their eyebrows but unfortunately you could feel that this wasn't about the two of you not having enough alone time. Without really wanting to you escaped into the kitchen to get some water, hoping you could somehow avoid the conversation ahead. But then the sound of the apartment's door closing behind the notoriously loud musicians echoed through the hallway, followed by Jaebum's steps making their way into the kitchen. He didn't hesitate to speak up, his velvety voice sounding almost worried. "Are you okay (Y/N)?" You placed your glass of water back on the counter, just for safety, and crossed your arms. Trying to avoid his gaze you shrugged. Could you really tell him? Were you even capable of doing it? "I... I don't know.", you sighed, finally gaining the courage to look him in the eyes. He made his way over to you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. How again had you managed to basket this man? "If it's something you don't want to or can't talk to me about that's fine love, but I need to know that you're okay... and to me you don't seem like it." His thumbs ghosted over your dark eye bags, his hands cupping your face in the process. You couldn't help but lean into his touch, allowing yourself to enjoy his warmth for at least the glimpse of a second. "It's just...", you started your attempt at explaining the whole dilemma. "There is this pretty big thing I can't stop thinking about and I'm afraid that if I actually talk about it to someone, especially you, it will get real and...". You let out a heavy sigh, your desperate expression meeting his steady and calm one. You would have to tell him at some point. And by waiting any longer you would only hurt him. "I think I might be pregnant.", you blurted out faster than you would have liked it to be. Your boyfriend's eyebrows shot up, his lips mouthing a silent 'oh'. "Did you... did you take a test yet?" He finally asked after what felt like hours of awkward quietness. You nervously played with your fingers. "I was too scared to do it. But... I bought one." "Do you want to take it now?" Only a few minutes later you found yourself standing next to him in the bathroom, both of your backs facing the sink on top of which the test was now laying. "So what if it's positive?", you mumbled. At this point the whole situation just seemed surreal to you. "Then we'll be a family", he answered as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "But Jaebum, your job, the fans, I-" "They're not as important as you." Your eyes shot up to meet his, disbelief probably written all over your face. "(Y/N), I love you. And regarding your reaction I really think I need to tell you that more often because you are my world. As long as I have you and the boys we could be living under a bridge and I would be the happiest man alive." By now you were almost crying, your body's every fibre filled with nothing but pure love for the person in front of you. You knew very well that if you had tried to bring out even a single word, it would have come out as gibberish, so you did the single next thing to expressing your feelings with your words: you did it with your body. You pulled him close and captured his lips in a tender yet passionate, short yet long kiss. The world seemed to stop while both of your lips molded together ever so perfectly. "Do you think the test is done?", Jaebum whispered after breaking apart, his forehead leaning against yours. You shrugged, still smiling. Nothing bad would ever happen to you while Jaebum was around and it was almost ridiculous that it had taken you such a crisis to realise that. "It probably won't hurt to risk a glance, huh?" You nodded at each other, a silent agreement taking place between the two of you. You slipped your hand into Jaebum's and turned around, your eyes immediately searching for the test's little display. The result almost felt like a punch to the stomach. You had pictured yourself cheering and falling into each other's arms at this result, but instead you were just standing next to each other, taken aback by the little emoticon. "It's... it's negative.", Jaebum stuttered, sounding exactly the way you felt. "Is it weird that I feel disappointed?", you hesitantly asked. Suddenly, he grabbed your hand and led you into the living room, pushing you down onto the sofa. "You couldn't have waited another two weeks for this, could you?" You frowned, the floor crumbling away from your feet. What was going on? He disappeared into the direction of your shared bedroom only to return a few moments later. The only thing going on in your brain were big question marks swirling around. He knelt in front of you just like that one time he had comforted you about the death of your grandfather, his beautiful features looking ethereal in the living room's dim lighting. "There is one else in this world I could ever picture myself starting a family with. I may have hated you when you stole my cab that day, and maybe still a little bit when I saw you again at this bar you were playing the guitar in a few weeks later but as soon as you played that song and dedicated it to me with a wink I knew that you were something very, very special. Do you remember what you said?" Despite the chaos in your head your eyes lit up at the thought of one of your first memories together. "I said 'This one is for the guy who hijacked my cab the other day'.", you recited your own words with a smile. "And then you played 'Fuck you' by Lily Allen- probably one of the sexiest things I have ever heard. The night we spent together after bickering around and hardcore third wheeling Youngjae for at least two hours was one of the best nights of my life. And when I woke up to you singing one of my songs while making breakfast the next morning I knew that I had found what I had always been looking for." You were really digging the recollection of the first steps of your relationship but couldn't help but wonder what all of this had to do with you not being pregnant. "I never want to let you go. If you'll let me, I will listen to you rant about that detergent commercial every day for the rest of my life. I will save up the yellow gummi bears for you because you only like those, I will remind you to pack your keys since you always forget them and I will save you from Bambam's stupid jokes. But most importantly will I love you and do everything I can to see that breathtaking smile of yours every day. (Y/N), will you allow me all of these things and become my wife?" You let out a long overdue sob. Unable to speak you nodded heavily, pulling him in by the collar of his shirt for a deep kiss. "Yes.", you finally whispered against his lips, causing his whole face to light up with joy. He longed into one of his jean's front pockets, pulling out a small shiny thing you couldn't properly see through your blurred vision. It was a ring. He slipped it on your ring finger, watching the way it reflected the light almost incredulously. "I love you." You both whispered at almost the same time and giggled at your simultaneity. You were about to kiss again as the apartment's front door opened, announcing the boys' return. Jinyoung entered the living room first, taking in the scene of Jaebum still on his knees and your hands still cupping his face. "Are you kidding me JB?", he exclaimed, amusement sparking his voice. "You book an entire restaurant and prepare a speech only to propose to her two weeks earlier in the damn living room just because you couldn't wait anymore?" Jaebum turned around, a huge grin adorning his features. "That's exactly what I did." Jackson let out a squeal almost inaudible for humans before throwing himself on the couch next to you. "This is so exciting! A wedding! So much to plan! Do you already know which dress you want?" You laughed loudly. Happy chaos proceeded to flood the room as the boys started showering both of you in congratulations, your hand all the while never leaving Jaebum's. After ten minutes of hugs and Yugyeom almost shooting Mark k.o with a champagne cork your now fiancé leaned close to whisper something in your ear. "I think it's time to leave." You looked at him in confusion. "Why?" A cheeky grin spread across his face, his dark eyes meeting yours. "I think we should let the guys get some sleep, shouldn't we?" His words took a few seconds to sink in but as soon as you realised their meaning you widened your eyes and slapped his arm. "Jaebum!", you whisper shouted, not really able to keep yourself from laughing. "What? We have a family to start, after all."

"(Y/N)? Do you want some orange marmalade?" You looked up from your toast and shook your head at Mark. "God no, please stay away from me with that stuff. Can you pass me the Nutella instead?" "Sure. But I always thought orange marmalade was your favourite?" You opened the Nutella with a shrug. "Maybe I just ate it too often, all I know is that I don't like the taste of it anymore." Distracted by preparing your breakfast you didn't notice the surprised glance Jaebum shot at you from his place next to you. You had asked him if he'd bought a new cologne twice this week already and he also wasn't the only one to realise the small changes in your appearance. The boys kept stealing glances at your rosy cheeks, your sparkling eyes, your messy hair that somehow seemed to shine more than usual. There was no other way to say it- you were glowing. Maybe it was just the post-honeymoon-and-all-moving-into-a-big-house-together glee. Maybe it was something else. You were on dishwashing duty that day, so after breakfast you made your way into the kitchen to get it over with as quickly as possible. Suddenly someone sneaked up behind you and placed their hands around the small of your back, making you squeal in surprise. You very quickly made the pair of hands out to be your husband's, since now, they were wandering up your torso and finally cupped your breasts through the pyjama shirt you were still wearing. You swatted his hands away and turned around to send Jaebum one of your famous death glares. "What the fuck, Jaebum?" An expression you couldn't quite decipher adorned his features, making you even more confused than you already were. "When was the last time you had your period?" You were about to hiss out another 'what the fuck' when suddenly it hit you. Your mouth fell open in a silent 'oh', your astonished gaze meeting your husband's. The next moment you were both running towards the bathroom. You almost slammed your heads together trying to get the spare pregnancy test from last time from the mirror closet, breaking into a fit of excited giggles. "Come back in five minutes, okay?" "Babe, you always leave the door open while peeing so you don't miss what's happening on TV. And believe me, seeing you pee is not the worst thing I've seen you do... remember that one time you were so dr-" "Turn around or I'll file a divorce.", you interrupted him, causing him to snort. At least he finally turned around. Ten minutes later you were in the same position as only a few months before. The nervous mess you were you almost crushed every bone in Jaebum's hand, something he didn't even realise since he himself was too occupied by chewing on the insides of his cheeks. The second your phone's timer rang you both spun around, almost stumbling into the sink. There was a moment of shocked silence. And then you started screaming. Alarmed by your noise the rest of the guys appeared in the doorframe, utter confusion displayed on their faces. Youngjae was the first to put the pieces together. With a loud gasp he tackled Jaebum, who still hadn't stopped grinning into a bear hug. "Would someone like to tell us what's going on?" Your husband pulled away from his best friend and made his way back to you, taking both of your hands in his. His now suspiciously glistening eyes searched for yours, silently asking for your approval. After you nodded the brightest smile you'd ever seen on him spread across his features. He took a deep breath. "Got7 will have an eighth member soon." That night, Yugyeom finally got his payback from Mark and a champagne cork against his head.

[stevedonnellyfaith-blog]

A Special Relationship (Post 99) 7-29-15

My mother has been concerned that her relationship with young Natalie seemed strained first by my arrival and then by Abby’s grand entrance back into my younger daughter’s life.  I advised my mom that things would likely normalize again in relatively short order.  Natalie tends to get very excited about new things but novelty wears off soon for her and then she gravitates to whoever gives her the most attention.

I entered Natalie’s Ohio world like Elvis for a solid two weeks but now she regularly ditches me to play dolls with the girl across the street.  I think that is normal for a father daughter relationship as I am no good at Barbies.

Abby’s arrival also disturbed the quiet life that Natalie and my parents had carved out over the school year.  While Abby has a large personality that has magnetically attracted Natalie’s focus for all of her ten years of life, Abby also has a full plate of college work that will occupy most of her time.  As Abby has spent more and more of her time studying chemistry, Natalie has begun to reach out to her grandmother more and more frequently, and everything has clicked back into synchronization.  

Now as school is starting again, my mother will be off to her library work more and more. Soon Amy, my sister, will arrive from New Hampshire to begin teaching at the same school where my mother works and my father taught.  At the end of August I should be moving out into my own house about five miles away with Stephen, Nick, Natalie and the dogs.  It is possible that Abby will take the opportunity to move out of my brother’s basement and into one of the vacated upstairs bedrooms at my parent’s house. This represents another extreme amount of activity and disturbance happening over a very short time frame. We will all undoubtedly be stressed, but eventually a new equilibrium will be established.  

As all the tumult subsides, new opportunities for special relationships will abound. Because I expect to often be arriving home late from work, Natalie will likely ride the school bus to my parent’s house and do her homework with my folks as she did last year.  Maybe instead she will go some days to my sister’s field hockey practice.  There is that opportunity for my daughter and sister to also share a relationship or not as they choose.  My sister will be juggling a new job, a coaching assignment and her two dogs and a cat. That is a lot to handle.  Maybe they will just do dorm duty together or see movies off and on.  There is an opportunity only, they have to decide to make time for each other if they want to develop closeness.  My mom and Natalie have begun to cook together, for instance.  My hope was that they would paint together, but I don’t get a vote. Natalie is likely to remember cooking in my mom’s kitchen for the rest of her life.

My dad and my two sons also share a lot of time together currently, but Nick will be starting college in the fall and Stephen will be living in a different house. Their relationship will change, but does not have to necessarily ebb.  Weakened by undiagnosed cancer, Nick graduated from Liberty High School by the skin of his teeth; my dad is fully capable of helping my son improve as a writer. Whether the two want to establish a tutor and pupil relationship is completely up to them.  For right now, my dad is keeping Nick busy with house repairs and yard work.  My brother Sean, who lives about 20 minutes away, has been gratefully put on vacation as Dad’s Mr Fixit.  Sometimes Sean and Nick will jump into my dad’s pick-up truck together and disappear for hours on trips to Lowe’s and/or Buffalo Wild Wings.  They are sketchy with regard to the details upon their return, but they both seem to enjoy their outings.

In the midst of all the activity, Natalie and I have a place where we consistently escape together.  We go to Adoration at least once a week.  It is our time together to maintain our special relationship.  All love and friendship is nurtured by attention and time spend together, the overriding reason why Father Jerry has continually advised against excessive use of unnecessary electronics throughout family homes in the parish. Electronic devices have been a bane to family interaction for that last couple of generations.  Phoneless and unafraid, Natalie and I spend time undistracted and catch up with what has been going on in each other’s lives at least once a week on our little drive to Stow, which is a good maintenance dose to keep our special relationship in good order.  

When most of the continent separated us physically, we talked on the phone every night, a proper use of cellular technology.  Those conversations kept us connected and reassured Natalie that everything in her world was on a firm footing.  My mother noticed a big shift in her relationship with Natalie when I arrived, but that seemed natural to me for a kid who has been separated from her remaining parent for nearly a year.  Soon Natalie realized that I was just her dad and not the rock star that she had made me out to be.  Our relationship normalized and because my mother continued to invest time and attention into her own relationship with Natalie, their friendship continued to blossom after a few frosty weeks.

I have made a point of spending at least one evening a week with Natalie because that is what Pam asked that I invest in our marriage once we moved the family to California.  We had not done that previously and our closeness had waxed and waned over the years depending on what type of kid, work, school or money crisis with which we were dealing at the time.  Having to formulate a weekly plan for romance seems like about what Pam might have expected as punishment for having agreed to marry a man with a BS in mathematics, young women beware, but the dating worked pretty well even through much of her cancer treatment.  Obviously, we weren’t slipping out for a night on the town once she was in hospice care, but we really didn’t need a whole bunch of extra time together at that point. Jesus had finished work perfecting our relationship.  There was nothing else that needed to be said over a salad at Mimi’s or a muffin at Panera.

 A relationship with Pam is one I still try to cultivate off and on as I expect to see her again regularly after a decade or two of separation.  I had been writing her daily letters up until things got crazy at the end of my employment with my previous company.  Even then I guess I prayed every day to her and Mary for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel, but anyone who has seen a Roadrunner cartoon knows what that a subterranean light does not always turn out to be daylight of the tunnel exit.  In the end, my prayers were answered in a way that surprised and embarrassed me and the California winter of my life turned seasons to an Ohio spring after the excruciation of a professional downturn.  I fell out of the habit of writing Pam daily over that period job search and move period, but I do pray to her often about my new work and house search.

I can’t very well look at real estate without thinking of Pam; she loved houses, shows about houses, and the hunt of looking for the next perfect place for our family to thrive.  To Pam rooms were warm places to cuddle up and read; to me a house is something to fix and to pay for, a necessary inconvenience to be tolerated, a possession that creates opportunities for cleaning.  Certainly, I would make a very poor realtor, but as I shopped for this house, I tried to find an abode that I thought would please her.  It made the necessary experience more tolerable. Whenever I got into a mood that bordered on happiness, though, I would ask Abby for her opinion and she would bring me back to Earth.

When I finally settled on a place, I took Natalie, Nick and Stephen to Adoration to pray about whether the decision was a correct one.  I received a feeling of peace there.  As we left, Natalie told me that she imagined Pam telling her that it would be a good place for us to live.  I like the surety of making decisions in the presence of the Eucharist.  I am confident that if the decision were a poor one, we would not have left our short contemplative session in a happy peaceful state of mind.

I don’t go to Adoration each week to present Jesus with a homework assignment or a new method to replacement for the Urim and Thummim that were once carried in the pocket of the ephod of the High Priest of the Jewish Temple that has been lost to humanity like Veronica’s veil for two millennium.  I go there to maintain my most special relationship using the same methodology that Pam taught me.  Jesus wants to have a relationship with me in the same way that my mother wants to have a relationship with Natalie.  In my case, I must have an openness for the relationship to grow as Jesus has already demonstrated His love for me.  It is necessary only that I demonstrate an acceptance of His infinite sacrifice on my behalf.  I demonstrate my acceptance when I attend Mass, Eucharistic Adoration and in as many other ways as I can.  I find that the more fully I seek to improve my special relationship with Christ the less stressful I find my work situation, house search and home life. The Father knows what I need and I am confident that He will continue to provide for my family.

[anna-2807]

A “loss of connection” and “problems communicating” are common complaints I hear from couples who are looking for help with their relationship. And when conflict and disconnectedness are at its highest is when most couples reach out for help from a therapist.

I thought it’d be helpful if I put together a couple of lists to help couples who find themselves in this common situation. One is a list of ideas on how to encourage connection, and the second, a list of what I call “blocks to connection” – the things we do that discourage the connection we want.

Connection Tools

Learn & leverage your spouse’s ‘love language’ – Do you prefer words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch or receiving gifts? What does your spouse respond to best?  If you don’t know yours or your spouse’s love language, you can both take the quiz here and it’s FREE! The temptation is the tendency to express our love in our own language – the way we like to be shown love. But imagine if your spouse spoke Japanese and yet you insisted on speaking only English to him/her, because that is yourpreferred language? Your expressions of love might fall on deaf ears or the feelings behind the words might get lost. When we are able to show our spouse they are loved in their own language, it breeds intimacy and connection.

Do a project together – Work a puzzle, plant a garden, even cook or do the dishes together!  Yes, chores count as projects! This doesn’t have to be a planned event. In fact, sometimes the less structure, the better. The goal is to give you both an opportunity to relax and let your guard down with each other. Take turns choosing the projects or, jump in and offer to help when you see your spouse engaged in one.

Join your spouse in his/her world – Not a fan of (fill in the blank) but your spouse enjoys them? Say yes the next time they ask you. Or even better, offer up the idea! Take in a movie, concert, or sporting event that you may not care a whit about, but you know your spouse would love. Joining your spouse in an activity that isn’t necessarily your thing, is a great way to build connectivity and show your spouse you care about them. By the way, this advice is not exclusive to your spouse either. It also applies to your kids as well. Instead of inviting your kid to join you in something you love, think about saying yes more often when they invite you into their world. Watch that animated movie on family movie night, shoot hoops in the driveway or play Barbies. Or, just listen intently when they want to tell you about whatever it is that has them excited. Your kids will be thrilled.

Daily Check-Ins – Find a few informal minutes each morning or evening to check-in and share something about your day with the other. The less rules the better – no expectations or judgements about what or how much the other chooses to share. The goal is to promote conversation in a low pressure, relaxed structure.

Increase your playfulness – When a couple gets disconnected, the light-heartedness, the silliness, the inside jokes, and the playfulness get replaced with seriousness and intensity you can cut with a knife. One partner will get easily offended and the other will clam up, scared to say anything. Relax!  Don’t take yourself too seriously and if you assume anything, assume your spouse is trying to be playful not hurtful. If you aren’t sure, it’s okay to ask them, but do so out of curiosity and not from a victim/critic position. Get your flirt on!

Date Boxes – I find couples that have been disconnected for an extended period of time, have trouble planning a date. Even the thought creates anxiety and the date gets stuck in the planning stages. A little structure can help to get things started again and increase the playfulness too. There are several reasonable subscription services out there for couples to create comfortable together time at home or out on the town. If you need a jump start, pick a service and budget to your liking and commit to a date a month for the next three months.  Click here for one to get an idea.

Blocks to Connecting

Screens, screens, & more screens – Smartphones, tablets, computers, Netflix, gaming consoles, television, you name it. This is a struggle for many of us. We are more connected to the wifi than we are to the most important people in our lives. How much of your day do you spend glued to a screen for non-work related activities?  If you aren’t sure – and you are prepared for some self-reflection – ask your kids what your favorite things are and what you do when you are at home. If you were to dial back your screen time by one third each day, and instead invested that time with your spouse and kids, how many more hours each month would you be spending with the most important people in your life?

Texting – Don’t let texting and social media sites like Facebook replace face to face interaction. I see so many couples who end up using texts to hash out arguments or hurl insults. Using text as a weapon is the perfect recipe for relationship disaster. Besides the pettiness of it, it is guaranteed to increase your chances for misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and long-standing resentment. Want to move texting from a “block to connecting” to a “tool”? Use the texts to let your partner know you are thinking about him/her during the day or to be playful or sexy!

Focusing more on the negative – When you are frustrated with your relationship, there can be what  Dr. John Gottman refers to it as “Negative Sentiment Override”. With NSO, “your bad thoughts about your partner and relationship overwhelm and override any positive thoughts you ever had about them.” It causes you to rewrite history and forget the pleasant memories. ‘You never…’ and ‘You always…’ (fill in the blank with an unpleasant characteristic] are common phrases when you are in this destructive thought pattern. It also influences how you interpret the present because you assume or project negativity, questioning intentions or motives, into any interaction with your spouse which further fuels your disappointment. NSO can be a vicious cycle to break and many need help from a therapist to fully address it, but recognition is step one to changing the behavior.  

Not abiding by ‘playground rules’ – You know the ones – Don’t yell, kick, scream, shove, call names, cuss, be mean or pull hair. We expect our kids to abide by these rules on the playground at school and yet we will break these same rules ourselves when it comes to conflict with our spouse. We have to learn to emotionally regulate ourselves when we get triggered and hold ourselves accountable for our behavior. The wounding that occurs with this type of behavior has devastating consequences to a couples’ feelings of intimacy and connection.

Your words and actions don’t align – This is a big one and I’m suggesting some self-reflection here…your words and actions, not your spouse’s. He/she can do their own self-reflecting. When your words and actions don’t match, it’s as if you are beckoning them closer with one hand while simultaneously pushing them away with the other. Your spouse has to reconcile what to believe, creating doubt and compromising trust. Trust breeds intimacy and connection.

Ask for help from a professional

Even the best lists don’t replace the value a trained professional can bring to the table. If you and your spouse need help rekindling the connection, please consider giving us a call. You don’t have to be in a crisis to see a counselor and in fact, you will very likely avoid the crisis by learning some things now about yourself in couples counseling.  Our counselors and coaches are trained to help couples like you prioritize their relationship and rebuild the connection that originally brought you together. Contact The Marriage Place here.

[mounicalucia-blog]

A “loss of connection” and “problems communicating” are common complaints I hear from couples who are looking for help with their relationship. And when conflict and disconnectedness are at its highest is when most couples reach out for help from a therapist.

I thought it’d be helpful if I put together a couple of lists to help couples who find themselves in this common situation. One is a list of ideas on how to encourage connection, and the second, a list of what I call “blocks to connection” – the things we do that discourage the connection we want.

Connection Tools

Learn & leverage your spouse’s ‘love language’ – Do you prefer words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch or receiving gifts? What does your spouse respond to best?  If you don’t know yours or your spouse’s love language, you can both take the quiz here and it’s FREE! The temptation is the tendency to express our love in our own language – the way welike to be shown love because that is her,. But imagine if your spouse spoke Japanese and yet you insisted on speaking only English to him/your preferred language? Your expressions of love might fall on deaf ears or the feelings behind the words might get lost. When we are able to show our spouse they are loved in their own language, it breeds intimacy and connection.

Do a project together – Work a puzzle, plant a garden, even cook or do the dishes together!  Yes, chores count as projects! This doesn’t have to be a planned event. In fact, sometimes the less structure, the better. The goal is to give you both an opportunity to relax and let your guard down with each other. Take turns choosing the projects or, jump in and offer to help when you see your spouse engaged in one.

Join your spouse in his/her world – Not a fan of (fill in the blank) but your spouse enjoys them? Say yes the next time they ask you. Or even better, offer up the idea! Take in a movie, concert, or sporting event that you may not care a whit about, but you know your spouse would love. Joining your spouse in an activity that isn’t necessarily your thing, is a great way to build connectivity and show your spouse you care about them. By the way, this advice is not exclusive to your spouse either. It also applies to your kids as well. Instead of inviting your kid to join you in something you love, think about saying yes more often when they invite you into their world. Watch that animated movie on family movie night, shoot hoops in the driveway or play Barbies. Or, just listen intently when they want to tell you about whatever it is that has them excited. Your kids will be thrilled.

Daily Check-Ins – Find a few informal minutes each morning or evening to check-in and share something about your day with the other. The less about what or how much the other chooses to share. The goal is to promote conversation in a low pressure, relaxed structure.judgements rules the better – no expectations or

Increase your playfulness – When a couple gets disconnected, the light-heartedness, the silliness, the inside jokes, and the playfulness get replaced with seriousness and intensity you can cut with a knife. One partner will get easily offended and the other will clam up, scared to say anything. Relax!  Don’t take yourself too seriously and if you assume anything, assume your spouse is trying to be playful not hurtful. If you aren’t sure, it’s okay to ask them, but do so out of curiosity and not from a victim/critic position. Get your flirt on!

Date Boxes – I find couples that have been disconnected for an extended period of time, have trouble planning a date. Even the thought creates anxiety and the date gets stuck in the planning stages. A little structure can help to get things started again and increase the playfulness too. There are several reasonable subscription services out there for couples to create comfortable together time at home or out on the town. If you need a jump start, pick a service and budget to your liking and commit to a date a month for the next three months.  Click here for one to get an idea.

Blocks to Connecting

Screens, screens, & more screens – Smartphones, tablets, computers, Netflix, gaming consoles, television, you name it. This is a struggle for many of us. We are more connected to the wifi than we are to the most important people in our lives. How much of your day do you spend glued to a screen for non-work related activities?  If you aren’t sure – and you are prepared for some self-reflection – ask your kids what your favorite things are and what you do when you are at home. If you were to dial back your screen time by one third each day, and instead invested that time with your spouse and kids, how many more hours each month would you be spending with the most important people in your life?

Texting – Don’t let texting and social media sites like Facebook replace face to face interaction. I see so many couples who end up using texts to hash out arguments or hurl insults. Using text as a weapon is the perfect from a “block to connecting” to a “tool”? Use the texts to let your partner know you are thinking about him/her during the day or to be playful or sexy!texting recipe for relationship disaster. Besides the pettiness of it, it is guaranteed to increase your chances for misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and long-standing resentment. Want to move

Focusing more on the negative – When you are frustrated with your relationship, there can be what  Dr. John Gottman refers to it as “Negative Sentiment Override”. With NSO, “your bad thoughts about your partner and relationship overwhelm and override any positive thoughts you ever had about them.” It causes you to rewrite history and forget the pleasant memories. ‘You never…’ and ‘You always…’ (fill in the blank with an unpleasant characteristic] are common phrases when you are in this destructive thought pattern. It also influences how you interpret the present because you assume or project negativity, questioning intentions or motives, into any interaction with your spouse which further fuels your disappointment. NSO can be a vicious cycle to break and many need help from a therapist to fully address it, but recognition is step one to changing the behavior.  

Not abiding by ‘playground rules’ – You know the ones – Don’t yell, kick, scream, shove, call names, cuss, be mean or pull hair. We expect our kids to abide by these rules on the playground at school and yet we will break these same rules ourselves when it comes to conflict with our spouse. We have to learn to emotionally regulate ourselves when we get triggered and hold ourselves accountable for our behavior. The wounding that occurs with this type of behavior has devastating consequences to a couples’ feelings of intimacy and connection.

Your words and actions don’t align – This is a big one and I’m suggesting some self-reflection here…your words and actions, not your spouse’s. He/she can do their own self-reflecting. When your words and actions don’t match, it’s as if you are beckoning them closer with one hand while simultaneously pushing them away with the other. Your spouse has to reconcile what to believe, creating doubt and compromising trust. Trust breeds intimacy and connection.

Ask for help from a professional

Even the best lists don’t replace the value a trained professional can bring to the table. If you and your spouse need help rekindling  the connection, please consider giving us a call. You don’t have to be in a crisis to see a counselor and in fact, you will very likely avoid the crisis by learning some things now about yourself in couples counseling.  Our counselors and coaches are trained to help couples like you prioritize their relationship and rebuild the connection that originally brought you together.

Visit- Simple Ways To Connect With Your Spouse - The Marriage Place

[oscopelabs]

Personality Crisis: The Radical Fluidity of Todd Haynes’ ‘Velvet Goldmine’ by Judy Berman

[This month, Musings pays homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to film we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Over the next four weeks, Musings will offer its own selection of tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

Like the glam rockers it gazes upon through the smoke-clouded lens of memory, Velvet Goldmine is most beautiful when it descends into chaos.

Stolen, the way great artists do, from Citizen Kane, the skeleton of Todd Haynes’ 1998 film is a chain of interlocking reminiscences of Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a David Bowie-like glam rocker who fakes his own onstage death in the mid-’70s. A decade later—in that most dystopic of years, 1984—his ex-wife Mandy (Toni Collette) and former manager Cecil (Michael Feast) relate their bitter tales of betrayal to a journalist (Christian Bale) whose assignment has him reluctantly reliving his own teenage sexual awakening under the influence of Brian’s music. Between the interviews, musical numbers, and onscreen epigrams, there’s also a mysterious female narrator who sometimes surfaces, like a teacher reading a subversive storybook, with dreamy exposition that reaches back a century to invoke glam’s patron saint, Oscar Wilde.

The film climaxes with a propulsive sequence of scenes that are exhilarating precisely because they merge all of these points of view, subjective and omniscient, into one collective fantasy. Brian and his new conquest, the Iggy Pop/Lou Reed composite Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor), ride mini spaceships at a carnival to Reed’s “Satellite of Love.” Two random schoolgirls, their faces obscured, act out a love scene between a Curt doll and a Brian doll. In a posh hotel lobby, Brian’s entourage, styled like Old Hollywood starlets on the Weimar Germany set of a fin-de-siècle period film, recites pilfered sound bites about art. Then Brian and Curt are kissing on a circus stage, surrounded by old men in suits. They play Brian Eno’s “Baby’s on Fire” as Haynes cuts between the performance, an orgy in their hotel suite, and Bale’s hapless, young Arthur Stuart masturbating over a newspaper photo of Brian fellating Curt’s guitar. Stripped of narration—not to mention narrative—the film seems to be running on its own amorous fumes, its story fragmenting into a heap of glittering images as it hurtles from set piece to set piece.

Visual pleasure aside, it’s a perfect way of translating into cinematic language the argument that underlies Haynes’ script—that glam’s revelations about the radical fluidity of human identity go far beyond sex and gender. As the apotheosis of teen pop audiences’ thirst for outsize personae, fictional characters like Ziggy Stardust (who Velvet Goldmine further fictionalizes as Slade’s alter ego, Maxwell Demon) melded the symbiotic identities of artist and fan into a single, tantalizing vision of hedonism and transgression. Kids imitated idols they didn’t quite recognize as pure manifestations of their own inchoate desires. Musician and fan became each other’s mirror, and both could become entirely new people simply by changing costumes or names.

But it’s pretty much impossible to imagine Velvet Goldmine’s distributor and co-producer, Harvey Weinstein, appreciating this as he watched the film for the first time—or seeing anything in it, really, besides an expensive mess.

Haynes and his loyal producing partner, Killer Films head Christine Vachon, had already been through hell with Velvet Goldmine by the time they delivered a cut to Miramax. Bowie had refused Haynes’ repeated requests for permission to use six Ziggy-era songs in the film, claiming that he had a glam movie of his own in the works. And in a production diary that appears in her book Shooting to Kill, Vachon points out one unique challenge of making a film about queer male sexuality: “The MPAA seems to have a number of double standards. Naked females get R ratings, but pickle shots tend to get NC-17s. Our Miramax contract obligates us to an R.” She also mentions that an investor pulled $1 million of funding just weeks before filming.

The shoot was even more harrowing than the two veteran indie filmmakers could’ve predicted. As they fell behind schedule, a production executive started nagging Vachon to make cuts. “Todd is miserable,” she wrote in her diary the night before they wrapped. “He says that making movies this way is awful and he doesn’t want to do it.” In an interview that accompanies the published screenplay for Velvet Goldmine, Oren Moverman asks Haynes, “Was the making of the film joyful for you?” “I’m afraid not,” he replies. “We were trying very hard to cut scenes while shooting, knowing that we were behind and we didn’t have the money for the overloaded schedule. But there was hardly a scene we could cut without losing essential narrative information.” It’s remarkable that he managed to capture 123 usable minutes’ worth of meticulously art-directed ‘70s excess (and ‘80s bleakness) in just nine weeks, under so much external pressure, on a budget of $7 million.

When the film finally reached Harvey Scissorhands, after months of editing, Weinstein told Haynes it was too long and the structure didn’t work. “He made suggestions that I didn’t follow, and then he just buried it,” the director told Down and Dirty Pictures author Peter Biskind. What happened next comes straight from the Weinstein playbook: “Even afterward,” Haynes remembered, “they threw out a DVD, they didn’t ask for a director commentary, my name wasn’t on the cover of it, it was buried in the minuscule billing block. He can’t even do the really small things that don’t cost anything—he never shows any respect.” (That Haynes never found a distributor he preferred to Weinstein, with whom he reunited for I’m Not There and Carol, speaks volumes about the way Hollywood treats ambitious filmmakers.)

After it failed to blow audiences away at the 1998 Cannes Film Festival, Miramax effectively dumped Velvet Goldmine. It debuted on just 85 screens that November, ultimately grossing about $1 million stateside. Its ridiculous theatrical trailer might well be a glimpse at the movie Weinstein was expecting: a “magical trip back to the ‘70s” with 100% more murder mystery and 100% less gay sex.

Critics were just as ambivalent about the film as festival audiences. While forward-thinking reviewers wanted to love it for its visual beauty and openly queer aesthetic, many lamented that its plot was slight and its characters hollow. David Ansen of Newsweek complained that “Haynes is unwilling to get too close to his characters. Slade, in particular, is a blank”—failing to see that Brian is a cypher by design. Like the Barbie-doll Karen Carpenter of Haynes’ debut feature, Superstar, and the fragments of Bob Dylan diffused across I’m Not There, Velvet Goldmine’s Bowie is less a portrait of the real person than a screen on which fans project their own fantasies about him.

At The Nation, Stuart Klawans rightly identified Arthur, not Brian, as the film’s protagonist. But he also wondered why he grows up to be such an unhappy adult. “Why is Haynes so tough on Arthur?” Klawans wanted to know. “Why, through the character, is he so tough on himself? It’s apparent everywhere in Velvet Goldmine that Haynes, like Arthur, loves Glitter Rock. He, too, fell for a mass-marketed product, which was no more likely than Mr. Clean to carry out a world-transforming promise. But instead of honoring the truth of his enthusiasm, so that he might look back on its object with a smile and a sigh…Haynes does penance for being a sap.”

Others found the film’s collage of ideas and allusions cumbersome. “Velvet Goldmine is weighed down with self-important messages, but it’s also splashily opulent,” Stephanie Zacharek wrote at Salon. “It’s as if Todd Haynes had plunged his hand into a pile of clothes at a jumble sale and come out with a handful that was half velvet finery, half polyester rejectables.”

All of these reactions make sense, coming from adult critics who had probably seen the film just once, after reading months’ worth of reports about its troubled birth, in the sterile environment of a press screening. But what’s clear from a distance of nearly two decades, during which Velvet Goldmine has become a low-key cult classic, is that few films are so poorly suited to be judged on the basis of a single dispassionate viewing. If you’re looking for tight plotting and complex characters, you’re not going to find them in this mixtape of music videos, aphorisms, and waking dream sequences. There is no actual murder mystery, and Arthur’s investigation into Slade’s disappearance isn’t a source of suspense so much as an excuse to keep contrasting an incandescent past with a dull, gray present.

I’m lucky enough to have first encountered Velvet Goldmine under what turned out to be ideal circumstances: at age 15, on premium cable, late enough at night that it easily bypassed my rational mind en route to my adolescent subconscious. I had no idea how many details it cribbed from the biographies of Bowie and his contemporaries, or how much of the dialogue was quoted from their (and their heroes’) most memorable utterances. I bought the soundtrack without realizing that it put ‘70s originals side-by-side with contemporary covers and new songs by younger bands like Pulp and Shudder to Think in yet another glam pastiche. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to find the 1984 scenes unsatisfying because I got so instantly immersed in the ‘70s spectacles that they barely existed for me.

Not that the film only works on an emotional level. Haynes’ ideas about fandom, politics, sexuality, and identity become even more profound once you can see the organizing principle behind what might initially seem like a jumble of indulgent images. Like the death hoax Brian Slade uses to escape a fantasy life that’s grown too real for comfort, Velvet Goldmine’s loose plot is classic misdirection, obscuring a tight and purposeful structure that delays the resolution of the ‘80s storyline until it’s primed you to feel the loss of the liberated ‘70s viscerally. But you’ll never get that far into dissecting the film if you don’t fall in love with it at first viewing. And that’s easiest to do when you’re as impressionable as young Arthur, who watches Brian Slade flaunt his queerness in a televised press conference and imagines himself shouting to his parents, “That is me!”  

Revisit it as you grow older, though, and you might discover that the disillusioned 30-something characters now feel as rich as their idealistic former selves. Velvet Goldmine is often called a gay film, but that obscures the universal resonance of its queer coming-of-age narrative. Better to think of it as a bisexual film that uses non-binary sexuality as a metaphor for the boundless possibilities of youth—the promise of a future constrained only by the limits of one’s own ambitions and appetites. Its characters can’t achieve permanent liberation by “coming out”; to maintain lifestyles that match their desires, they would have to reject the monogamy that defines adulthood for most people. Particularly amid the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, which haunts the film’s dreary present on a purely subtextual level, it’s obvious why they (like the real glam rockers they’re modeled after) retreat from the liberated lives they staked out for themselves.

But you don’t need to buy in to the incendiary claim Brian makes at his press conference, that everyone is bisexual, to see how this storyline reflects the many kinds of disappointments that await most starry-eyed fans in adulthood. Klawans’ objection to Haynes’ treatment of Arthur feels naive because it assumes people should be able to peacefully coexist with their shattered dreams. Why shouldn’t he feel bitter about having joined a sexual revolution that didn’t, finally, set him free? “It gets better” for Arthur when he leaves his homophobic family to move in with a latter-day glam act in London, but sometime after he hooks up with an unmoored Curt Wild at a tribute concert called the Death of Glitter, “it” just gets boring as the world gets worse.

And the world really does sometimes get worse, though audiences in the relatively peaceful, prosperous late ‘90s might have forgotten about that. Watching Velvet Goldmine for perhaps the 25th time, two weeks before Donald Trump’s inauguration, at the end of an era that has brought unprecedented freedom of sexual and gender expression, I was struck by how vividly Haynes captures a culture’s flight from progress, and how rare it is to see that kind of transition depicted on film. His argument about fluidity turns out to be even more potent when applied to societies than individuals (or, at least, it seems that way in 2017). Our capacity for transformation may be infinite, but that doesn’t mean those changes are always for the best.