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fishnapple · 4 months ago

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Channelled message: The moment they fall in love with you

(lover/partner/future spouse)

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

1. Carnelian

I have to admit that I look like a human being but sometimes I feel like an oyster. I wish I could have their shell, hiding myself behind a sturdy, protective barrier that no one can touch me. I would feel invincible in my weakness, in the darkness that my shell provided, taking a peek only now and then. You must be getting tired of this hide and seek game that I subjected you to, to be an unwilling gamer.

But even then, you excelled at that game, just like in everything you do. How did you beat the game? You ignored the rules, of course. You didn't let me hide, and what is there to be sought if there was no hiding.

You were a magician, transformed the most dire thing into the most hopeful thing. A magician with an X-ray machine, you peered into my inner most thoughts and feelings without opening my shell.

I felt scared and rage at first, who are you to dare to do that to me? I flipped out, of course, natural reaction of someone who had been in hiding for who knows how long. I got angry, I shouted, I cried, I held my breath, and I looked at you, begging you to stop seeing me, knowing me, accepting me. I must look like a clown to you back then.

But you just smiled. A triumphant smile, the smile that someone has after searching for something for so long and finally found it. I could feel you saying this to me: "I'm not an oyster and I'm not the kind to fall in love with an oyster, stop role-playing and sit with me side by side."

And that was how I turned into a proper human and learnt to love properly. Before, it felt like I was a story teller, someone looking from afar, at a safe distance, through the telescope, peered into life. I saw myself being with you, but I didn't really know the me who was being with you, how did they feel. And you reached out your hand, pulled the telescope aside, let me become the one that I had been watching all along and let me feel what they had felt.

I want to confess, sometimes I couldn't shake this dissociated feeling about everything. Sometimes, it feels like I was dangling between two worlds. But I have something new with me, a hope, a faith, that you would be there for me at that time, pull me back to you or accompany me in whatever that world I'm in.

Note: The moment your person falls in love with you would be when they feel seen by you, for all their light and darkness, the beautiful and the ugly parts of them. They're scared of this feeling, it makes them vulnerable. You unmask them, make them come out of their shell and be their real self, no more hiding. The way you do it is gentle and considerate, but the feeling they have will be devastating. They probably are someone who is more detached and isn't too involved with everything for fear of getting hurt. But after falling in love with you, even though the feeling of detachment about the world sometimes still lingers but they will also have the faith that there's someone who can see and understand them, who they can just be and come closer.

2. Aventurine

Sometimes, I feel like a bottle floating in this vast ocean of life. People around me, they seem to float right past me. If I could find a companion, then they would just stay for a fleeting moment and then ready to move on, leaving me behind to swim alone again. It never occurred to me that I might have looked at the wrong place.

Call me childish or sentimental, but whenever I looked at you, I felt like Ariel, the little mermaid, hiding behind the rocks to sneak a glance at the prince. You seemed so sure, so fine, so stable, so fixed, so opposite of me.

While I needed to hold on to something to keep me in one place and safe, you were just there, magnificent like the sun, without a care of the world. My soul was transfixed.

Many came to me with their offers, but their light paled in comparison to you, the true light. They were like the moon while you were the sun, and even though I'm a coward, I still dare to be ambitious and aim for the sun. It's like a moth to a flame.

Your smiles were and still are the warmest. They made the cold creature in me surrender and crawled out of the dark to actually stand in the light before you. Was it a kind of reverence? I dare not to use such a heavy word. And I dared not to impose my heavy feelings on you.

The moment I saw your light, I had already become speechless. I wanted to tell you many things, the good, the bad, the silly but I couldn't find the words. And that was fine, really. I found love in the silence of our existence together.

You taught me that life was not just about constantly swimming and floating but it can also be about being still and taking in all the things around us, and taking out all the things inside us. To lay them out on a table and let the other pick what they like, making a trade. You keep something of mine, and I keep something of yours.

Note: Before meeting you, falling in love with you, this person just floated through life with several superficial connections that, at the end of the day, made them feel even more lonely than before. There is a feeling of being lost in the dark, forever grasping for something. Then the moment they see you, your composure, your stillness and your stability will draw them in, probably a moment where you will display a sense of responsibility and confidence, being there for them, being their rock. They will feel a sense of finally being able to rest, to stand still and enjoy life.

Their temperament and yours are probably opposite of each other. Opposite attracts.

The moment they fall in love will also be the moment they put you on a pedestal, a fixed place for them to look up to. And at the same time, they will want to fuse with you, to possess some of your traits while you are taking in their influences. The feeling, the desire for belonging will be the spark that ignite their love for you.

3. Agate

You want me to tell you the moment that I fell in love with you? Can I be greedy and tell you many moments instead?

I don't have a love switch in me that can switch on and off suddenly. The concept of love at first sight perplexed me.

To me, loving you feels like the spread of the ink, the water that flows slowly, the trail that we keep walking on. I felt like a piece of paper with a corner touched by the tip of your pen absentmindedly. The ink just spread slowly, but everywhere, until the piece of paper turned completely into your colour. A natural progression, the inevitable.

We debated, we laughed, we played, we dreamed, we ran, we feared. All of those moments, together, made the ink soaked deeper and deeper still, forming indelible marks on me.

I had put a lot of thoughts into this subject, believe me, about why did I fall in love with you and I had no answer, to this day still don't. I'm afraid, actually, to find the answer. What if the moment I put a definition to it, the moment the answer materialise in my head, it becomes a checklist? If the things in that checklist become untrue, will I just fall out of love with you? I'm scared of my mind sometimes, it kills the magic. Yes, I believe in magic. Even if I know that the magic trick in the show is all about the sleight of hand, but in some corners of my heart, I still believe in the real magic of the act. A part of me refuses to see the logic, the reality. Let me dream a little and don't ask me to define the indefinable, that is our love. Let things stay inexplicable sometimes.

Note: This person refused to define any moment as the moment they fell in love with you. It's a gradual progress for them. Everything you guys did together is another drop of ink (their word) making the love deeper.

They couldn't tell the beginning of it, and they are afraid of thinking about it, actually. It makes them dread the possible ending.

To this person, love is a journey, stretched through the span of their life, there is no start point nor an end point. They are highly rational and in their head a lot. Notice that they used the word "think" and "head". But they are aware that a part of them, their heart, yearn for something magical, the inexplicable and they want their love to be that way, to escape the scrutiny of their head, to leave out the logic.

4. Citrine

I had a belief that life is supposed to be an endless journey. We constantly have to keep moving, never stop. Whatever we are doing, whoever we are meeting, one day, they will all go away, leaving us, alone, on our journey. And I had been living with that belief for a very long time. Until you.

Being with you made me question if it was really necessary to be always on the move, to be alone on my journey. Yes, it's necessary to be always on the move, but it's not necessary to be alone. Just like a ship, they stop, the passengers step out, new passengers step in, and the ship goes on. But the captain and the crews won't change, they are together with the ship. And I wanted you to be the captain of my ship.

Changes are good, but having someone going along with you through all of those changes is even better, or best. I moved a lot, I travelled a lot, constantly seeking, constantly reaching. It wore my soul down. Some days, I just arrived home then threw myself on the bed, exhausted, trying to sleep to save the energy for the next day. It went on and on, the motion. I had all these experiences, all these wonderful stories along my travels that I didn't know whom to share with. I didn't have someone to hold me when I felt shaken, to whisper that everything would be okay. Until you.

Maybe the path I need to travel wasn't just to some faraway places but also to you all along. For the first time, I wanted to hang on dearly to something, someone, to you and to our relationship. To have a real home, to see myself so connected to you that the thought of leaving would be immediately banished out of my mind, to imagine myself being a parent to our children. I contemplated all of these and I saw all of these in my mind, clear as day.

Note: Before being in a relationship with you, this person had been travelling alone, constantly on the move, never had concrete, long-lasting connections with anyone. Could be due to their job and environment that they had to move a lot. It made them exhausted and didn't have enough energy for anything else.

But by meeting you, being in a relationship with you, their belief has changed. They want a companion, someone whom they can commit to and build a stable life with. Even with all the travelling, they can still feel the sense of being anchored. That's when this person falls in love with you. Now they have someone whom they can offer their love, their stories to, whom they can imagine a future home life with, who can hold them close without holding them down.

5. Labradorite

I have always yearned to be a part of a romantic fairy tale since I was a kid. Keep this a secret for me, okay? I dream of the two characters meeting at the most fateful moment, going through many hardships, longing for each other, and finally, at the end of the tale, pulling each other into an eternal kiss. And guess what, I actually have that with you! Minus the ending part and eternal kiss, we don't end, and an eternal kiss will make us out of breath. But you get the gist of it.

The first time you had to go away, I thought I would be fine, it's not like you went away forever, it was just a trip. And then, with each day, I found myself growing more restless. Constantly asking in my head, "Hey, where are you now? What are you doing?" Talking with you through the phone wasn't enough, I wished we had a telepathic line constantly connected to each other. Oh wait, maybe we do, I even saw you in my dreams.

And then you came back. That moment when I saw you, I felt something bursting inside me, like a balloon kept getting bigger and bigger inside me, pressed and stretched my outside taut. It hit me like lightning, I was a tree rooted in one place and lightning just strike down. I burst open and revealed my thumping heart inside. Was I overreacting?

I wished the place that you and I met on that day were our home so that I could play the longing character and finally welcome their lover home. Your familiar face is the face I want to see whenever I open the door. Your laughter is the one I want to hear whenever I say something funny (in my mind) or ridiculous. And your embrace is the one I want to be in whenever I realise I have someone by my side.

Note: This person might develops feeling for you for a long time but won't realise it themselves. Until you have to go away someday, it won't be a true separation. Might just be a business trip or some long vacation.

Your absence will make them feel a longing for you that they can't really explain because the situation won't be dire and serious, just a normal, temporary separation.

When they finally get to see you, all those longing feelings will come bursting out, and that's when they will realise they love you. You guys will actually do many things that they fantasise about when they were a kid. It will feel like a truly magical thing for them.

6. Amethyst

Ah yes, we can always tell our children and our grandchildren how we felt in love at a party, making them jealous of our boldness. Now I'm getting ahead of myself.

What better way to celebrate than to have someone with you to share the joy with. You're always like that to me. Whatever joy I have, whatever joy you have, we've never failed to share it with each other. And I'm honoured.

My wish had finally come true. I have achieved many of my ambitions. I can confidently say that I had been working hard and I earned it.

And that's when I saw you. I can also confidently say that you looked stunning at that party. You looked happy and I could feel that somehow our happiness was on a similar wavelength.

I have to admit, the afterglow feeling of my success made me a lot more bold and optimistic than normal. If it was the past me, I would probably have swept the attraction under many layers of insecurities and nervousness. Trying to convince myself that it was just a delusion.

But here I was. I dared to look for love. I mean, I had achieved success in different areas, there's no way I couldn't be successful in love, right? Logical, you can't argue with that (of course you will)

Deep inside me, I probably had felt that love would be the biggest achievement I could get. And I was willing to set out again, to put my effort into achieving that dream, with you.

Note: This group is strangely short. This is a person that hides a lot of their thought to themselves and they find expressing what they feel through words is difficult. They are more actions oriented. Prefer to set out milestones and goals to achieve. They consider everything good in their life is their achievement.

You guys probably meet at a celebration party, maybe you won't be there to attend the party but just coincidentally in the same space, maybe a restaurant, an open space.

They will have achieved some big milestones that make them proud and more confident, they put in their effort and now they can reap the reward.

The feeling of joy will be heightened. And amidst that celebration, they will see you and fall in love, very likely a love at first sight situation. And they will believe that they can achieve happiness with you.

#pick a card #tarot #tarotblr #witchblr #channeled message #lithomancy #pick a pile #crystals #divination #tarot community #tarot reading #witch community #future spouse #astro community #astrology

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leighsartworks216 · 3 months ago

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Deal with the Devil

Sylus x AFAB!Reader

It is almost midnight when I post this. I am... so tired 💀 I don't like the ending but I don't know how I'd fix it and I'm too tired to bother anymore teehee

Warnings: bruises, body dysphoria, chest binding, unsafe binding, teasing, pet names, possibly ooc

Word Count: 1,788

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

You bit the inside of your cheek to hide your wince as you passed the threshold of Sylus’s mansion. You were sure he already knew, with Mephisto always keeping an eye on you. You just hoped he didn’t know the full story.

You leaned against the wall and avoided looking down while you toed off your boots. The paint on the wall was as dark as the shadows in your worst nightmares. Your bruises would probably be just as dark.

“Welcome back, kitten,” Sylus greeted as he walked down the hall to greet you. “Was your apartment too far away?”

You shrugged noncommittally, but the sharp pain in your ribs nearly tensed your shoulder to permanently cover your ears. You hoped he wouldn’t notice. He would.

“This was closer.” Whether that was true or not, you have no idea. You don’t meet his eyes as you start to walk down the hall toward your room. There, you can take care of yourself in peace. “Go back to bed.”

He huffed, but there was very little amusement in the sound. His footsteps trailed right behind you. “Please, try not to sound so enthused, it’ll go straight to my head.” He tilted his head, white hair just catching the edge of your peripheral vision. “Your mission was a success, I presume, considering you’re still alive.”

You wished he’d just leave you alone. “Yup, a huge success,” you droned.

“No injuries, then?”

“If I say no, will you leave me alone?”

“If it’s the truth…” He pauses. You can hear the smirk in his voice. “No.”

“There’s no point answering, then.”

He chuckles. “You haven’t given me any incentive, kitten. How does leaving you alone benefit me, hm? There’s a give and take to these things, you understand.”

The climb up the stairs was agony. You tried not to let it show how bad your knees wobbled with each step, how you gripped the handrail like you were trying to strangle it, how your breath deepened as you struggled to catch it.

“I see you’re stubborn, as usual.”

You take larger steps to get to your room, despite the consequences. You turn the knob, rush in, and shove the door closed. Except, it didn’t close. That would mean the universe giving you even an ounce of luck today.

He pushes against the other side, effortlessly opening the door once more, even as you leaned against it with all your weight. It shuts with a light click, with Sylus on the inside.

“Show me,” he demands. You lean against the wall, panting through your nose and determinedly looking away. He sighs, irritated. “You can show me willingly, or I can tie you up and find out for myself. Your choice.”

You bite your cheek again. No matter how badly you wanted to keep it hidden away, keep your secrets close to your chest (literally), you could have gone to your apartment if you really wanted to keep it from him. It wouldn’t be hard to close yourself in a room with no windows, free from the prying eyes of that damned crow, and deal with it yourself.

And yet, you came here.

Despite his threat, he’s patient as he waits for you to make a choice. His red eyes seem to see right through you as they study your labored breaths, your minute giveaways of pain. Your hands trembled faintly by your sides, despite your subtle efforts to shake it away.

Eventually, you sigh. “Fine.” You don’t hide your wince as you push off of the wall, instinctively reaching for him for support. His hands grab your waist, keeping you upright. “Help me… take off my shirt.”

Sylus chuckles despite the tension in his brow as he helps you over to the bed to sit down. “Is it that difficult to ask for me to undress you?” He swiftly works to undo the buttons of your shirt.

His eyes flicker to every glimpse of exposed skin. There were ugly bruises, to be sure, but he’d never known you to let a few bruises slow you down. And yet he could see no sign of blood from an open wound anywhere. He frowns deeper.

“What were you fighting?”

You fiddle with your gloves, slowly working them off your fingers. “Just some knaves.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Same knaves did this? Did you forget how to dodge, kitten?”

You glared up at him. Really, it was all the dodging that had caused this. If you’d had a partner, you’d probably be fine. You could have stayed at a distance and provided cover fire. But they’d shown up rather suddenly, without giving enough time to worry about finding a partner.

With the last button undone, Sylus lifted your left arm and carefully slid the long sleeve off your body, before repeating it with the right. He dropped it beside you on the bed.

“Don’t tell me you wore that while you fought.” His voice was so low, threatening. It was almost a growl.

“I didn’t have time to take it off before the fight,” you defended yourself. You toss your gloves aside and reach under your chest binder to feel your ribs. The rough fabric rubbing against your skin as you jostle it feels like sandpaper, grating away at your flesh. You wince again, trying not to shift too much. “This is just a minor fluke; it won’t happen again.”

He scoffed. “Yes, a minor fluke. And how long do you wear it for, day by day? I’m sure you take breaks, right?”

“I take breaks!”

“Sweetie, one or two minutes with it off does not make up for hours with it on.” He goes to grab the wide straps of the binder.

You swat his hands away, staring up at him with wide eyes and covering your already-covered chest. “I’m naked under this!”

He leans forward, face close to yours as he grabs your hands and pulls them away. “Please, don’t tempt me, sweetie. You’ve already run my patience thin.”

“I can take it off on my own.”

“Really? You can’t take off your shirt by yourself, but you can lift your arms and wriggle out of a compression binder all on your own? It’s a miracle.”

He doesn’t wait this time for you to approve before he grabs the straps and starts working the binder over your head. You try not to fight him, but being exposed in front of Onychinus’ leader wasn’t exactly on your bucket list.

He alternates between pulling at the straps and the bottom hem, though he’s careful for now not to touch your skin. He thinks if he does, your face would go from pink to crimson in a heartbeat.

Once the stiff fabric is over your head, your arms are maneuvered slowly through the arm holes. It finds a place on top of your discarded shirt.

He doesn’t ask before grabbing the sides of your ribcage.

“Sylus!” you scold. When you try to push an arm away, he only holds on tighter, making you hiss.

“The sooner I’m certain you haven’t broken anything, the sooner you can get dressed.” His face is tense with concentration as he feels along each rib, head shifted from side to side as he checks the dark bruises painting your skin.

He was right: your face is bright red.

He steps away after a minute and heads to the closet. “Nothing feels broken, but you’ve bruised your ribs. Which means,” he returns with an oversized shirt and begins helping you into it without prompting, “you’re sticking around for a while, kitten.”

“I can’t,” you dismiss, fluffing the shirt in the front to hide your chest. “I have work.”

“Hm. Who’s that doctor friend of yours? I’m sure he’d be delighted to lock you in a hospital room for a few weeks.”

You glare up at him. “You wouldn’t.”

He makes a show of pulling out his phone and clicking through it. He turns the screen toward you for a second, long enough for you to process Zayne’s contact. He clicks the call button and brings it up to his ear.

You scramble to stand on the bed and pull the phone from his hand. He lets you, smirking with smug triumph as you end the call and toss the phone up by the headrest. You’re eye-to-eye with him as you pour all your anger and hatred into your stare.

“Three weeks bedrest,” he says.

“Two.”

“Three.”

You breathe in deeply through your nose, wondering if your hands would fit around his neck.

“Maybe the deal isn’t sweet enough for you?” he muses with a head tilt. “If a flat chest is really your desire, I’ll have the best surgeon in the field here to consult you as soon as you’re healed.”

Your breath caught in your chest. “Wha-” You grabbed onto his shoulder to keep yourself from falling. “Are you serious? But- But the surgery is so expensive!”

He chuckles. “Sweet, you insult me. Now…” He steps closer, running his fingers over your jaw. “Do we have a deal?”

The phone began ringing behind you.

You searched his eyes for any sign of a bluff, but came up empty. Slyus was nothing if not a man of his word. And he did have the money; you remember him telling you to bid higher at the auction when you were first getting to know each other. That sort of cash would take you several months of saving up every cent of your paycheck.

The deal felt too good to be true. “What do you get out of this?”

“Aside from making sure you’re not going to irreparably injure yourself one day?” He hummed. “Nothing at all. Think of it as a gift, if that makes you feel better.”

A gift… Could you really accept something so grand?

Your fingers mindlessly tap against his shoulder. You sigh, the feeling of defeat and elation warring inside you. “Deal.”

His hand moved from your jaw to you chest and pushed, plummeting you into the soft expanse of bed behind you. You cried out as gravity took hold, bouncing on the mattress. You blinked and Sylus was right over you, one hand beside your head keeping himself propped up while the other reached to grab the still-ringing phone. He accepted the call and put it to his ear.

Your heart raced. Did he lie to you? You could hear the muffled voice of Zayne reciting his standard hospital greeting.

“Sorry, I called the wrong number.” He didn’t wait for a response before hanging up. The phone was slipped back into his pocket before he caged you in completely. “Don’t look so scared, kitten. I keep my promises.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #sylus #sylus x reader #love and deepspace sylus #love and deepspace #lads #lads sylus #afab reader #x afab #trans reader #x trans reader

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adagiorii · 1 month ago

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So in February I drew Eiko in a Sailor Moon AU (a.k.a. Sailor Blood Moon), art which I haven't posted here and have archived on Instagram bc it's sadly a little ugly. 😔 So here is the AU again but in the manga artstyle.

This AU remains a favourite of mine, and I've also had the itch to study Naoko Takeuchi's artstyle for a really long time, bc I honestly think her style is gorgeous. The way she colours and shades is especially beautiful imo, and I wanted to emulate her style for the comeback of this AU, instead of drawing in the 90s' anime artstyle like I did with the art from February.

I am begging the Sailor Moon fandom to stop sleeping on Naoko's breathtaking artistic skills and yes I know about the fuckass proportions but jokes on you I like the fuckass proportions. They're iconic atp

Also in the manga there is some art of the characters in this chibi style in some pages, so I drew some for Eiko too! I like the sailor senshi one, but the civillian one feels like I didn't get the style quite right. I'm too tired to try to fix it, so I'm posting it anyway.

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yandere-yearnings · 17 days ago

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HEAVENCALL (??? x Fem!Reader)

feat. Cecilia Romano

♡ oneshot, approx. 1k words

♡ post-specific warnings: NSFW, sub + bottom afab reader, fingering (reader receiving), 'good girl' used on reader, depictions of gore and violence, masochism & sadism, Stockholm syndrome, abuse, collaring, blood play, (extreme) knife play, implied mind break, implied imprisonment, vaguely implied reference to cannibalism, extreme toxicity, DDDNE

♡ a/n: most important thing to anyone reading this is to pls be mindful of the content warnings above and to not read if you think it could be triggering for you. this is vv dark fiction and i legit cannot stress that enough. a lighter christmas fic will be posted soon, which can be viewed alternatively.

this is @unhappy-last-resort's gift for our secret santa fic exchange!! unhappy i'm gonna need you to forgive me for how shitty this turned out lmao. i lied when i said it would be my last rewrite and got wasted so i could churn smth out before today. i'm burnt out to all fuck and too tired to fix the medical inaccuracies drunk me did not consider so pls pretend that the femoral artery does not exist and the bleeding is venous otherwise our reader is technically dead and not just passed out💀 this is purely a work of fiction. yandere behaviour in real life is a cause of concern. proofread, unedited.

♡♡♡

It was because you hadn’t seen light in days. Chained up to this wall, waiting like a dog for your angel to come down to you — sensitive eyes, slithers of blinding white around her silhouette looking like a luminous halo. Deaf to her footsteps, blind to the blood on her dress or the stench of it, all you knew was her when she put her hands on you. Learning to treasure it, since it would only be you here grieving every touch you were deprived of when she left.

“Miserable thing,” fingers smoothing out in your hair turn violent, she tugs, “feel special yet?”

When she chokes you, you do. You think the collar might just cut into your flesh from the force as Cecilia pulls on it. Lips meeting hers, you are whole again with the way her nails dig into your cheek, like she wants to rip the skin right off. Bringing the claim she has on each corner of your soul right to the surface, the sole thing that has become easy for you to understand is that you are ruined for this world.

“Please…” you beg, and you remain unaware of what for. There is something pulsating inside of you, blood beating bones from depths in which a consuming rot grows ugly. Cecilia’s scalpel shows an animal starved, and you recognise that it’s you. The spit and drool come like magic, she wets your dry throat easy with just a few fingers in your mouth — you are hungry. Her knees hit the ground for you, in turn your heart wants to come right up as penance for your unworthiness.

Thin gown bunched up into the crease of your groin, too light to feel any warmth from it — and you are too taken by the coldness of the blade on your thigh to care. Aching for the push, so your body could give way and you could feel the sharpness nestle inside of you, to wrap around something, to bury it in the grave of an open wound. Cecilia keeps a distance your cuffed wrists cannot close, and your desire drips from you with nothing to hide, nor cling to.

Spine lined with explosives, the first graze has the pleasure spark seriatim; the release of pressure you had been neck-deep in brutalises you, and you are delirious on the feel of being ripped apart without the motions. Each score burns. New layers of you are uncovered and exposed to this world and Cecilia wrenches your head down to watch.

Mouth agape, your drool parts a translucent line over the pooling sangria. “More,” pleading for it, despite how muffled it came out. You want her to rip this chunk of you right off. You want to be between her teeth and down her throat. You want, and it’s butchering. “Deeper,” the tears come with your chest squeezing, come with the choked up moan when her digits bear down on your tongue harder. Your mistake is clear to you the moment you see the wash of those baby blues lock on you, the reverie of bringing the sky down to your prison and the vastness as you lost your mind to it has your breath hitching.

Ringing in your ears dulled to the scattering greys when Cecilia hits you, cheekbone smashing against the wall, sending the vibrations all throughout your skull. Ecstasy takes on the taste of metal. Sure enough, the savage inside of you is unsettled, is not yet satisfied.

“When have I ever let you command me?” Her knife edge twists, makes ribbons of your tissues — makes you writhe deliciously. “Do you think you have a will?”

“No.” The answer needs no contemplation, it has been ingrained in you. “‘M sorry,” your vision spots when you crane your neck, you’ve been putting more and more of your weight into the bricks, your shackles sting. “Was so good I went dumb, ‘m sorry. I won’t do it again,” you sniffle, “p-please…”

Acutely aware of the moment the surgical steel leaves you; biting your lip to suppress your whimper when the air hits. “That’s better,” and you are sure this is a punishment until Cecilia takes your face, “see, you know how to be a good girl, don’t you?”

Something hot floods your guts, you’re nodding before you even have a chance to rub your thighs together — not that you’d be allowed to. Her palm is pressing right to the laceration, she keeps you splayed apart like that, and her nails are mere millimetres away from showing you a supernova. Red tracks streak a trail all the way to your core, the fabric in contact with it is damp, is threading clear strings to a place that’s throbbing with need to be desecrated.

All your nerves fray when she sinks in, and just like that, the ability to latch onto her human caress is wasted on you. Only remembering how to stay agape, how to curl your toes and tear from your bottom lip to hold back your moans. Your walls are sopping for her, they slobber just as much as you do for the euphoria Cecilia imposes into you. Gasping her name, flashes of a world outside you no longer want to return to, legs trembling when her thumb comes up. She plays you so well, makes a mess — makes a masterpiece out of all your misery and mortality alike.

Whispering, “you were my best decision,” — and like a blessing, your undoing lays rest to you. Pink slick and pain, everything becomes sweet in this swarming black. Angels. Her laughter, a hymn. Singing. Heavencall.

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nocturnalazure · 19 days ago

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So I've seen this "24 favorite shots of 2024" going round and I've tried to gather 24 shots that I like, but I just can't find that many.

My pace in 2024 has been completely off, with only 6 updates published this year... when I had at least been able to post 1 per month before. I think this is due to my technical issues with the new computer which threw me off and made me entirely lose my motivation. I'd certainly hoped to be further down the plot by the end of 2024, which is clearly not the case at all. I've even noticed some inconsistencies and continuity issues.

Like here:

When did Erik tell Romeo that he broke up with Gloria, huh? Well, he didn't. I simply forgot and I'll have to fix this somehow.

I've kind of lost track of the plot, despite my notes. It's become increasingly harder to remember who knows which piece of information. And I've wasted too much time going back and forth between the various teams, which means that we've completely lost momentum and now I can no longer afford procrastinating. Something needs to happen, and I'll have to use easy plot devices which don't really make sense. I don't really like what's coming, be warned.

I only have a handful of photo shoots this year, and that's probably because there has been less CC, be it in poses or clothing. Usually, CC inspires me, but nothing much sparked my interest this year. It doesn't mean that there wasn't any good CC, just none that I would use and that would fit my characters.

Maybe I'm getting tired of it all? :(

Now that this computer is working (fingers crossed!), maybe I should reconsider doing something to improve my aesthetics, because I find my screenshots increasingly ugly compared to what other writers manage to produce. I know my strength doesn't lie in editing but maybe learning a new skill, be it Photoshop or Reshade, would be motivating? Idk. :'( I'm just scared of trying something and giving up once again.

#text post

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faketrex · 6 months ago

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We have reached the end of these cakegate bodyswap shenanigans. I hope you enjoy this final part! The whole thing will be up on my AO3 page... eventually.

Thank you kindly for reading and liking and reblogging and making me smile in the tags!

...

SHARING A SLICE... part 6

RWRB, rated T, 1000 words (this part).

(click here for part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

...

After brunch, they visit Tower Bridge.

“Over there is the Tower of London.”

“That’s where they locked women up when they didn't pop out babies fast enough for the king, right?”

“Exactly right. Did you know they kept an elephant there, too?”

“What?”

“They fed it bread and wine. I'm sure you’ll be shocked to learn that it died.”

“Y’know, I almost feel like I should cut you some slack. All that inbreeding obviously messed up your brains.”

Henry smiles. It probably looks great to the paparazzi.

After Tower Bridge, it's the Tate Modern, followed by St Paul's Cathedral, Hyde Park, dinner, and then Kensington Palace again for the night.

Yeah, it's a stunt, and yeah, Alex doesn't really get to look at the art or visit the sites, and yeah, he has zero say about the itinerary, but it's not terrible. Henry's not awful company.

By the end of the day, Alex is exhausted. Henry seems just as tired. On the one hand, they’ve convinced the public they're best friends and maybe reached a personal truce. On the other hand, it's twenty-four hours post-caketastrophe and they're still in the wrong fucking bodies.

“We can't stall any longer.” He's watching Henry pace back and forth in front of the windows with the ugly-ass curtains. “I have to go back tomorrow. Well, I mean, you do. You as me.”

Henry doesn't respond.

“How long do you think it’ll take one of us to get arrested for spying? My money's on less than forty-eight hours.”

“I need ice cream,” Henry announces.

“Music to my ears. Lead the way.”

They settle on opposite sides of the kitchen island and eat their ice cream in a half-peaceful, half-melancholic silence.

“Despite the uncanny aspect of it all, I have to admit this hasn't been horrible,” Henry says eventually. “They don't often let me play tourist... and I never get to fabricate pseudo-historical nonsense for a mouthy American.”

Alex nearly fumbles his cone. “Wait, you made stuff up? When?”

Henry shrugs.

“Come on. It was the elephant, wasn't it? I knew there was no way–”

“I assure you, the elephant was real.” Henry taps on his phone and spins it so Alex can see. “He even has his own Wikipedia entry.”

“Elephant of Henry III,” Alex reads, bending closer. “What the fuck.”

The smug expression on Henry's face – Alex's face – and the way he licks his ice cream makes Alex's stomach flip over strangely. His neck feels hot. There's melted ice cream dripping onto his hand.

Without breaking eye contact, Alex slides his free hand over the countertop and rests it on top of Henry's.

“Hey, don't spook, okay?”

His words have the opposite effect. Henry's eyes widen and his shoulders tense like he's getting ready to bolt, but Alex just tightens his grip.

“Maybe... close your eyes?”

“Alex–”

“Suit yourself,” Alex murmurs. As he leans in, Henry takes a deep breath, then closes his eyes. There's a nervous crease between his brows. "Okay. Here goes nothing.”

He mashes what's left of his ice cream against Henry’s face.

“What the hell, Alex?”

So much for that idea.

“Shit. I was thinking maybe the ice cream... after the cake... and I was touching your skin, so...” It doesn't make as much sense out loud as it did in Alex's head.

“You don't–” Henry sputters.

“Listen, I honestly wasn't trying to get back at you for the tour guide shit, I hoped it would fix–”

“No, no, I was wrong, I thought you–”

“What?”

“Alex, don't...” Henry laughs under his breath and reaches out to flatten a sticky palm against Alex's cheek. “Don't spook, alright?”

Before Alex can complain about the mess, Henry brings their lips together in a soft, vanilla-flavored kiss. Alex's stomach flips over again. He closes his eyes. Like this, it's easy to forget he’s kissing himself – and it’s still Henry, isn’t it? It's Henry, kissing him. Henry, kissing Alex.

The kiss is cautious, like Henry's expecting rejection; Alex leans into it anyway. Henry's hand smears ice cream onto his face and the edge of the counter presses into his ribcage, painful, but he wants it. It's shocking how powerful the want is when he hadn't even noticed it before.

Alex slides one hand up Henry's cheek, into his soft hair, and feels – he opens his eyes.

“Well, fuck.” Have Henry's eyes always been so blue? They hadn't seemed that blue in the mirror. They're kind of beautiful.

“Hello,” Henry says. “I'm back? You're back. Are you?”

“I guess. When did you come up with that plan?”

“I – plan?”

“You figured it out? Curse-breaking kisses or something? Wasn't that–” Alex stops. Henry hasn't pulled back from his awkward lean across the counter. From bizarre-but-true personal experience of less than sixty seconds ago, Alex knows for a fact that it's an uncomfortable position.

“If you'd like, I could pretend that it was part of a plan,” Henry offers quietly. “I've got plenty of experience pretending.”

If it's not the truth, though, Alex doesn’t want it. “Nah, no need. Don't get me wrong, it's weird if you don't want any credit for getting us back to normal again, but whatever.”

Henry's incredulous laugh makes Alex feel like kissing him again. “Covered in ice cream is normal for you?”

“Hey, chill. We're having a fucking moment.”

“A fucking moment, truly,” Henry echoes, mocking, but his smile is wide and happy.

“I'm not used to being covered in cake, trading bodies, being covered in ice cream, or kissing princes.”

“No?”

“But I've been branching out lately. Expanding my horizons, y’know.”

“I see. And now you know what to do if any one of those things happens again, I suppose?” Henry squeezes Alex's hand where they're still twined together.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, squeezing back and leaning in. They've got more to figure out here, but right now it's his turn. Henry kissed him, so now he needs to try it for himself. Simple. “Let me show you. It's a piece of cake.”

...

#faketrex writes #fic: sharing a slice #fandom: intro to international relations #rwrb fanfic #rwrb fic #firstprince

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yuseirra · 6 months ago

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Anaylsis on Ai Hoshino's character and speculations of how her relationship with her ex-boyfriend actually went

With the upcoming second season of the Oshi no Ko anime, I think this is a good time for me to write how I feel about this character. The manga seems to be reaching the final arc too, so if I make any guesses, it's probably now or a never thing! I'd like to post this before I get utterly proven wrong and it gets totally useless XD and who knows? Maybe I just may get some things right.

I had a chance to talk about how I felt Ai with @aihoshiino through an ask (their analyses are so good and I'm sure they'll write tons better than what I can offer) and it led me to realize how interesting the character is. So I ended up jotting my thoughts on my own and it became quite long.

This post will touch on how I think Ai's mind worked, and how it may have affected her relationship with her ex. I've been following the recent chapters, and I read up to ch. 152. This means I'm aware of most spoilers, and that this post would be swarming with it! If you're okay with it, please read ahead!

*I originally wrote this in a different language. I'm too tired to write the whole thing over again, so I used DeepL translate! I fixed some nouns that got lost within the translations, so should make sense for the most part. Sorry for the clumsy writing in advance!

While thinking about the recent developments in the onk manga, I noticed some things while listening to the opening of the anime version, so I'll write it down. The other day, I had the opportunity to discuss the characterization and personality development of Ai with someone else, even though it may be brief. There were some things that were notable in the behavior of this character in the novel version as well. I don't know how the story will develop, but from the information I got thus far, I feel I can outline what kind of person she is to some extent.

Ai has a very strong desire for "love" because she's never been loved properly. Rejection from parents in early childhood takes a tremendous toll on a person's development of self-assurance and self-esteem. I'm not an expert so I can't make a professional statement, but I think Ai often resorts fo have an avoidant (withdrawn) attitude. She want to have deep relationships with people, but she doesn't want to reveal their intimate "real" selves to others because she's unsure if she'll be accepted. Self-hatred is a big part of why she keeps it hidden. There's a very selfless reason why Ai decides lie: she does it because everyone likes the pretty, bright, lovable version of her. Ai protects herself by pretending, but they also protect the "outside" from the "ugly" version of her. Everyone prefers Ai to be this invincible idol, and so Ai acts that way because it's the way to contribute to the group and the world around her. In the end, Ai becomes so good at performing this idolized persona to the extent where she shows signs of being broken or disheveled, the others will react "That's not Ai" and deny it. But even though she's initially happy to be loved and accepted and have a place, ultimately that's not the kind of "love" she wants. This character has a very idealized idea of what love is, and she wants that kind of love where you put yourself out there and it's accepted, but when you think about it, it's her parents who should have given her that kind of love. What she wants is the unconditional, the agape type of love, the type she never got that early in her life. In reality, she was actually always getting the love from her fans, and she was giving love in return, whatever form of love it was. It was just that she wasn't sure if it was love at all. That's the sad part about this character, she has a very strong image of what love is, and she's not sure if it's love when it comes to these whole other variety of emotions. That's why she says in her idol songs that she really wants to love her fans, even though she's already doing it… When Ai became a parent and was in the position to give unconditional love, she began to think, "Will I know what love is? (Regardless of whether or not this was to be a wise choice to do this at such a young age, there are definitely people who actually have this sort of mental state. It may not make sense if you look at this character's emotional state and judgment from what's considered as the norm, but this is the flow of her thinking. It's not a healthy state, but it's not fair to just dismiss it as thoughtless, and foolish because this character has never experienced normal love.) However, the "love" she thinks of didn't just happen when she gave birth to and raised her children… Even for her own children, she kept putting on a bright face and couldn't live unadorned… This is how acting (lying) is a form of love for her. She tried so hard all the time. She lived as much as possible to fit in with others. She thinks this is showing consideration for the other person. This is another sad point, because she doesn't realize that when she reveals herself, others will still love her for who she is.

When interpreting the character of Ai, you shouldn't interpret her as someone who is emotionally stable and loved. The MV for the song "Idol" was my first introduction to the work "onk", and the initial feeling I had when I saw it was discomfort. This was because I felt like it was exposing a very vulnerable and precarious psychology of a young child. To compare it to other works, I think it's similar to the psychological state of One Piece's Tot Musica or Fleeting Lullaby, but even more extreme in a way because there's not even a metaphor to cover it up. It's a very honest song, and so I was like, "Is it okay to lay it all out there?" and at the same time, I was like, "This is going to be popular, but do people like stuff like this these days?" because it's about something that pretends to be okay, but it's really not. It's a song about struggles, about trying and trying. This discomfort dies out a bit when you "get used to it", so now I just enjoy the song like the crowd in the song going "Whoa! Whoa!" but the song is too "easy", it's… It's really, really easy to understand, because the lyrics are what it is. You don't even have to scrutinize it to recognize what it says. It's painfully honest.

But when I read the comic, I realized that was the entire point. Ai wanted to be honest, to reveal all of his intimate details, to be accepted, to understand others, to obtain what she thought was a "genuine relationship," and that's why he wrote this song. That's the core of the character. If the core of Aqua's character, which we talked about before (I wrote a different analysis on Aqua once too), is his inability to forgive himself, then the core of Ai's character's motivation is her desire to realize what she thinks is an "ideal form of love."

The problem is that this "lie" as a form of love comes in direct conflict with Ai's idealized notion of "love." After all, in Ai's mind, "true love" should be free of lies. Even when Ai has proposed the idea of lies being a form of love, she didn't even fully believe it herself. Because she kept wearing the mask of an "invincible idol" as an extension of her work, even in her daily life, she wasn't sure whether the love she was giving and receiving was really "love" or not. I think Ai is a character who thinks a lot about these things. This aligns with how celebrities are in real life, too. I realize that there must be many people who think differently from the image they are to be shown in the media.

I think this is what led to the breakup of her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and I think she was trying to confess all of these feelings in the documentary, and I think it was meant to be a shock to the said character. It's probably going to be something that would hurt her ex-boyfriend in some way. I think this would only work if the boyfriend really loved her. I think she would have had good feelings towards her, love or not on her end as well. It just never came across. Ai's so used to pretending she's okay. She's the type of person who's very secretive and evasive when it comes to deepening a relationship. I think she avoided Kamiki because she thought it would be better for the both of them if she stayed away. On the other hand I think Kamiki would've been very dependent on her, and since this was a relationship he's had when he was very vulnerable and had been through some serious mess, Ai must've been kind of like a lifeline to him. He may have clung to her because she doesn't show her heart very often. Kamiki is an anxious attachment type, but Ai is an avoidant type, and I think that backfired in a very bad way. I don't think Kamiki was able to convince Ai to stay when the breakup happened… I don't know, maybe he was near the hospital when she gave birth because he really wanted to see his kids from a distance, this seems more likely given the how the storyline is going so far.

When Ai says, "I don't know," when Kamiki asks her, "Does Ai love me?" desperate for affection, she's trying to be honest in her own way. She can't simply say "no," to that but she really doesn't know if her feelings for him's really love. She can't lie to herself, so she wants to be honest. (Kamiki would've been so heartbroken, but when you look at the character of Ai, it's surprising to see a relationship without pretense. She wanted to be perfect in every moment, but she wasn't doing that with him.) I believe that Ai may have came to a conclusion that she's never loved anyone, whether towards her fans or to Kamiki, but she wants to "love properly" now. (Now that I think of it, Kana is the polar opposite of Ai. She's very honest and just plain states that she doesn't like her fans that much. It took Ai a really long time to say it, and if Ai was all wrapped up, Kana just went out and blurted it lol… I think that's what makes her so charming.) The song "Idol" was a song that summarizes the whole character of Ai, and I think she wanted to tell everyone that she loved(s) them, just like she could tell her children at the very end of the song.

She didn't want to get back together with her ex because she wanted to continue being an idol. She couldn't have a public relationship. But I think she wanted to show her kids to him because she gained a little bit of courage while raising them. That she could show her real self. When you look at a Ai, you can infer she has a lot welled up. They had always hidden themselves, and now they have "secrets" that are not just their own, living, that grow with time. She's always had vicious circle that led to self-hatred from all the lies she'd been creating, which led to anger and stress…and it was this close to being let out through the movie. Maybe that's why Aqua believes making movies is for her. It's to fulfill her desire to be freed from the lies.

When it comes to whether she loved Kamiki as much as the children or as much as Kamiki craved from her, it's hard to say for now. However, I've always noticed how Ai, who is very careful and cautious when it came to keeping her image, was willing gave her address and tried to show her children to him. That means she thought him as someone who she could trust. I thought that the ex must have liked Ai because they had a positive effect on her after their meeting. Considering their age, it is likely a case of two children who were unprotected and emotionally vulnerable and became close by relying on each other. I'm sure there were to be some type of bond at least.

It's all a matter of speculation, but Ai's method of "caring" usually boils down in ways that the other person has no idea about how Ai herself feels and her circumstances. I think that's what happened in her relationship with her boyfriend. She's like the rabbit doll in the beginning of Mephisto, with her colleagues in IDOL going "You're great! You're never sad or angry!". Everyone around her ends up adoring and blaming her like an object to project upon, without having to think about how Ai feels inside. I think the 15 year-lie would have acted as a confession of that situation, with the message being:

Isn't it possible that she cut him off unilaterally to "protect him from herself," and then when there were signs that things were stabilizing over time, through the children, the president, and the fans, she took the time to call him back when she could, for it to have ended up like this? It's possible that Ai seemed to be so unmoved that her potential feelings didn't resonate with the other party, who felt betrayed at the time because she seemed so cold and distant. Ai doesn't like herself, and may have decided it's better for her to leave. She may have thought that Kamiki's obsession with her was bad for himself, or with him being so driven to the point where he thought that she was all he had. At that point Ai didn't believe she knew love, so she thought he'd be disappointed later. This is only a speculation but Kamiki could've wanted to take responsibility for the children if he knew, but it was Ai who thought it'd better for her to carry all everything and go her separate ways, because if she kept her mouth shut and kept it a secret, it wouldn't hurt him… and it's a child she wanted to have (and if this were to be the case, Kamiki's own wishes probably were never taken into consideration at all). Surprisingly, Kamiki may have feelings of affection for the children he had with Ai. He's never come to met them, but that could be because Ai told him not to. He complimented how Ruby grew up to be so beautiful resembling both him and Ai, that'd mean he must still like her, right? He has a love-hate relationship with Ai, but he's never harmed or came into close contact with either of his children until they were grown up. Could it be that Ai told him to stay away from her when they had the breakup?(And then she calls him up years later and asks if he wants to see the kids, unintentionally driving him insane)

"I've been lying about loving you all this time, and I don't want to do that anymore. Now I'm really going to tell you what's on my mind, and we're going to start over. We're going to build a relationship from the ground."Something like this? Something like this would be best.

If it's something like this, it'll be a blow to Kamiki. It'll be the same as Ryosuke, because he'll realize that he's the one who stabbed the hand that held out to love him and killed it, and he'll never be able to have that love again. It'll be revenge to realize that.

I can be wrong, but… But I still think there was something Ai would've wanted to convey to kamiki through that movie.

Ryosuke is a scumbag, and if Ai's meant what she said to them, I think it would be more of a statement towards all the fans who loved him than it was about him. Kamiki, if he really did instigate Ai's death, also needs to be punished for his respective crimes. Ai contributed to a part of his misery maybe, but… she's never actively harmed anyone. She may have hurt people's feelings, but she never did anything to deserve to die like this, and I don't think it should have happened, no matter what. It's a stalking and killing crime. I think Ai's life was very lonely, but I think she kept reaching out and trying within her limits. I hope all children grow up to be loved. The idea of love took over "Ai's" life, and I think she lived up to her name.

Beyond this are some more speculation, though it's likely to be more off than the stuff above.

For now, that's how I feel about this character.

I don't think Kamiki would have taken it that way, though. it was twisted, in more ways than one.

+ I think the Ai's feelings for Kamiki were… I think she's liked Kamiki quite a bit. Whether it was love is ambiguous. I don't think she would have been able to say for sure that she loved anyone at that point. This character hasn't been taught what love is, so her ideas of theoretical love, and the barriers to it are pretty high. Ai would've been confused going "Oh, is this what love is?" even if it's a level of emotion that most would consider to be love. What they had between them seems like something that could have been love, but never really came to a conclusion. In fact, the contradiction of Ai's character is that she wants to love, but blocks deep feelings for fear of being hurt. I think it would have been difficult for her to love him like she did for her own children, with whom she has an unconditional connection through blood…it would have been impossible for her at that time.

This is completely speculative, but I wonder if when she found out she was pregnant, she hid it, called it quits, and disappeared, because she felt like it would be a burden for him to know, and she thought she could handle it all on her own. She didn't ask for any help, and she didn't ask for anything when she agreed to keep the baby. Kamiki somehow found out and came to the birth and sees it from afar. Ryosuke runs away because he killed someone, but this character didn't do anything harmful to Ai that day. On the contrary, Kamiki may have been subconsciously been influenced by the person who exploited him. He may not have hated the children Ai had with him as much because he saw them as his connection to her. Perhaps after having seen her loving her children he had with her, raising them well, he had hopes that maybe she could get back together with him someday, and maybe she even cared about him a little bit. After he got that call from her, however, he realized that she needed the children but not him, and he despaired that there was no place for him in his life to begin with. Kamiki may not have any hard feelings toward his children. Rather, there might be some kind of inner affection he holds towards them proving as evidence that there was still a relationship between him and Ai; and that's why he sponsored the movie?

As for Ai, It would have been hard for Ai to truly love the children of a man she didn't even like, but there are no signs of that with her, either.. I don't think she broke up with him because she didn't like him. If you look at the phone scene, you get the impression that Ai broke up with him in a pretty casual way, there was a level of willingness to talk to him again and keep in touch and build a relationship from the beginning. This is a big deal coming from Ai because she has little to no friends and only a limited number of people with whom she's had a deep relationship. She's still wanted to form some kind of relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and here we can infer that Kamiki is a pretty important relationship for her. From her point of view, there was room for the future in that relationship. I think she was thinking about starting over with a more authentic relationship with her fans and with her ex-boyfriend. As she grew to love her children, she was subconsciously preparing herself to do so.

By the way, is it really true that Kamiki has been committing murders all this time? I think it could be a huge detriment to the manga's completeness and immersion to reveal the real culprit was someone entirely different at the very end, but we've never seen this character directly do anything, so I think it would be a good idea for the author to bring a twist the plot. It could be just that he feels responsible or guilty because he couldn't stop what's happened… He might actually be someone like Aqua who feels intense guilt for something he wasn't responsible for (I say this is like a 5% chance). Ryosuke is a stalker, so it's possible that he stalked Ai for four years and found out her address on his own. In the case of the actor, it's also possible that Kamiki's warned her to be careful beforehand, but she died anyway, so he's self-loathing saying it's all because of him. If you look closely, he seems to be blaming himself, so he keeps repeating the phrase "because of me." Did he actually kill her? This could be a narrative trick. You see how he's had a terrible past. Himekawa and Uehara may not have been the only ones that died around him, maybe he's cursed? Maybe there's a god that makes people with great talent in the arts unhappy… Anyone would have been suspicious if people around Kamiki kept dying in the first place, but Akane, who did the background check on Kamiki, didn't suspect anything like that, did she? It's never revealed in the story if he killed people, and if so, how many. People just come to infer "oh, he's a psychopathic killer" but just how much of it's right? We'll get to see that soon, I guess.

++Lying is also a keyword that's constantly stressed.

Like I said, I don't think it's very likely… Now that I think about it, the bouquet is a possible connection to Ryosuke. However, he may be less guilty than we thought. If it's true that he's killed other celebrities, the most intuitive reason I can think of is that he didn't want anyone to shine more than Ai's ever did. But what good does that do? What exactly does it mean to this character to feel the weight of his life? :/ Is it actually a positive thing for him, does he want to have a heavy life, does he want to do anything with it? This is something I can't say until the author explains it, because I don't have any information. There is also the matter of God in this story, but I don't know that'd get tied it into the the plot even though the manga is nearing the end. Ai and Kamiki are supposed to be characters who are connected to the gods, probably but I can't make any guesses. I was more confident about the psychological analyses than my plot predictions.

Isn't "15-year old lie two things? Ai lied to her fans that she loved them, and she lied to her boyfriend that she couldn't love him even though she had feelings for him. She told two lies about love, and now she's spilling the beans and saying, as she said before, that she wants to try to love again with her true heart.

The song "Idol" is what summarizes the whole storyline. If there is a lie that can be maintained for 15 years, I think it would be this.

In that case, assuming that the boyfriend loved the child, it would definitely be revenge from Aqua's point of view and give Ai what she's wanted… After all, Ai's narrative is a journey of a child trying to be true.

#oshi no ko #ai hoshino #hikaru kamiki #spoilers #I'll just post this before new chapters drop #how ai's felt holds a huge importance of this story's narrative from how I see it #and I think she's really well written in terms of how real she is #I wouldn't say it's a healthy personality but it's what she's had and I don't think it was her fault that she was like that #she's tried very hard. if there's someone like her.. I think they deserve a hug and some genuine showers of love #idk how this story will end up but the characters are written pretty well. I think that's this writer's strengths #oshi no theories

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inkbutterflyuniverse · 2 months ago

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People should stop hating on something they haven't seen/didn't give a chance just because it's a reboot.

I wantee to make a post about shows that had a reboot and that were judged too soon, before people even watch it, for a long time, and what is happening with the Winx Reboot motivated me. Beware that it's a long post.

I think a good way to start this would be with Monster High.

Monster High was a show from the 2010s. It had a tv show in 2d and a bunch of movies in 3d. Monster High was popular all around the world, people really liked it, the characters were compelling, the storyline were nice and it's whole concept was based around dolls. (I know there's also books but they're so different that I won't talk about them)

In the middle of the 2010s (I would say 2015-2016) the selling of the dolls weren't as great so they stopped everything. In 2018 they tried launching Monster High Gen 2, with new designs and new dolls, but it didn't work.

In 2022, they launched a new show, that is Monster High Gen 3. It still was a story about a bunch of monsters at a school made for them, and the beloved characters were back.

So what was the problem you would ask? Well, the characters were the same but different. Their essence was still the same (Frankie being a Frankenstein creature, Clawdeen a werewolf, Draculaura a vampire, etc..), but their characterization and stories were differents, and so were the designs. So people started complaining about it online. (This Gen also had live action movies but I won't talk about it, as it's about the tv shows).

But in reality, the show was GOOD. People who were fans of the OG show liked it! The show had a storyline, a direction, it knew what it wanted to explore it, and it did it. There was a real plot about Clawdeen's mom that was talked through the episodes, and progress was made as the episodes were airing.

But some people still decided to hate it without watching it, and it's sad because the show deserves some love!

As for now, Gen 3 isn't renewed for a third season, mainly because it's Nickelodeon and Mattel wants to distance themselves from the company, partially because of the Quiet on Set documentary.

So of you haven't see that show, you should really watch it, because it's totally worth it!

But Monster High is not why I wanted to make a post, my main concern is the Winx Reboot.

Recently, a trailer dropped for a reboot that will come on Netflix in 2025. The Winx we know are still here, but some things changed as we saw in the trailers. It's not redoing the Winx in 3d, it's a new series that starts from the beginning.

And people are already hating it, saying that we don't need a reboot, that it's ugly, etc. Everyone can have their opinion, but personally I think a reboot is much needed.

If you ask people about the Winx, some will say "seasons 1 to 3 are good, after I didn't really watched/I didn't liked it" ; some will say "I liked the newest season but I can recognize the problems, I think it was good until season 5/6/7" ; and majority will agree that the designs of season 8 were too childish and that it kinda ruined the show.

The live action series was very different and will not be discussed.

So actually, a reboot can be a good thing, it can fix some problems that had the show (like the reason why Stella was on Earth with Knut. In the trailer of the reboot it's Stella and Flora who are here for Bloom, and I'm very interested in how they knew there was a fairy here!)

I see so many people HATING on the show even before it's out, and it's TIRING. I know it's common to hate on something, you don't want things you knew when you were a child to change, but it's just something else that will introduce another generation to it! And old fans will certainly enjoy rediscovering the Winx under a new light!

You are allowed to not like the designs, to not want to watch it, but hating it won't change anything. The show will still exist and some people will like it, so just ignore it, and stop being a part of the hate campaign I see everywhere!!

On the top of my head, I can think of other shows that had the same issues!

The Disney Channel movies ZOMBIES got a 3d series about them redoing their senior year thanks to alien magic. People are saying "it's ugly", "no one asked for this", "cancel this please", "it's because of show like this one that The Owl House was cancelled" (definitely NOT TRUE, it has nothing to do with it).

In the ZOMBIES Re-Reanimated Series, we can find the characters of the movie living new adventures at Seabrook, we can meet new characters, and enjoy new catchy songs! The actors from the movies are dubbing their animated characters, and those characters were designed based on the actors. Again, you can say that you don't like the style, but no need to hate it.

Also, I watched a few episodes, and it's great! It's two episodes of 11 minutes in one episode on Disney+.

I can also think of the LEGO Friends franchise. The original show had a reboot named "Girl on a Mission" and now it has a third show, with a new generation. The OG girls all appeared in the show once or two, and one is actually the mother of a girl from the new show.

And maybe it's a deep cut but do people remember Heidi? It also had a 3d reboot.

I personally didn't liked it, but I know that it allowed some children to discover her, and I'm happy about this! I don't go everywhere saying that it sucks and that they should give us the Heidi from our childhood back.

And I'm sure there are other shows in the same situation...

This post is a bit long, but I really wanted to express this, because it really bother me.

A reboot is, most of the time, not a bad thing. The idea behind it is usually to make a new generation discover this thing, and sometimes it turns great, sometimes not. But that's okay.

What I wanted to say is that anyone is allowed to not like something, but hating before seeing because it's a reboot from something you really like, is not okay.

People are working on it, and maybe some of those people are also fans of the show, and are grateful to be able to work on a reboot of that show.

So please, please, please reconsider hating like this online, on something you haven't seen. If you didn't liked it, that's okay, but in the case of the Winx Club it's not even out and all I see is people criticizing it. And when some are trying to be positive about it, they are criticized.

#reebot #tv shows #tv shows reboots #winx club #winx reboot #monster high gen 3 #monster high #lego friends #lego friends girls on a mission #lego friends next chapter #zombies the re animated series #zombies disney #heidi #sorry for the rant #but i had to

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lilfishiefigureskates · 2 months ago

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NHK Trophy Review

Men:

Yuma Kagiyama (Japan) Total Score 300.09 - 1st in the short, 1st in the free. Super solid performance, but that's what we've come to expect from Yuma at this point. Not vibing too much with his programs but I think I do like the short better than the free. We'll see him next week at Finlandia, and the competition will be super stacked! Also, he and Shoma held hands during the team medal ceremony and I cried.

Daniel Grassl (Italy) Total Score 264.85 - 5th in the short, 2nd in the free. I am not super happy to see him back tbh. He's made some very questionable decisions in the past and he doesn't seem to be sorry or to have learned from his actions based off of his recent social media post. Had a a random fall in the short lol, and I just think his jumps are very ugly in general. I did not like the Billy Elliot program and several of his opening jumps looked UR to me but IDK cause I'm not a judge. Also, why did his coach look like that???

Tatsuya Tsuboi (Japan) Total Score 251.52 - 3rd in the short, 3rd in the free. This was a very welcome surprise for me. Great performer and excellent costumes as well. Had excellent flow throughout his programs, and the jumps were woven into his choreography beautifully. Shame he doesn't have a second assignment, but I'm looking forward to seeing him at JNats.

Andrew Torgashev (USA) Total Score 256.58 - 4th in the short, 5th in the free. Who is this man and what has he done with the pizza king! I was super nervous for Andrew since he had the last-minute back-to-back assignment but he stayed consistent and even improved his score from France! If he keeps this up at US nationals we'll probably see him at Worlds!

Matteo Rizzo (Italy) Total Score 246.56 - 7th in the short, 4th in the free. So happy to see him back! Had trouble with the 4Lo in both the short and the free, so hopefully it'll work out better for him at the Cup of China. I know people are tired of Fix You but I really liked the second half of the program, especially the stsq into the final spins.

Kao Miura (Japan) Total Score 240.38 - 2nd in the short, 11th in the free. This was absolutely heartbreaking. His short program was excellent. He finally broke 100 and he was happy and I was happy but then disaster struck in the free. IDK if it was due to the injury but either way I'm glad that he'll be able to rest because we have a little over a month before JNats and he must do well there if he's gonna make the world team, and the competition between the Japanese men is insane. He did Beauty and the Beast at the gala and I cried.

Jason Brown (USA) Total Score 229.09 - 10th in the short, 6th in the free. Someone took sunshine and transformed it into a human and now we have Jason Brown. I'm trying not to panic because we usually don't see him this early in the season but now it's time for him to focus on US nationals. I like the Tarzan program and the free is way too one note. #Hedoesn'tneedtheaxlestheyneedhim.

Tomoki Hiwatashi (USA) Total Score 226.38 - 11th in the short, 7th in the free. I really liked his short! He performed really well during the beginning and end of the program, but he was concentrating hard during all the jumps. Loved the splits at the end. I thought his free was just a smidge boring and once again there was not a hint of emotion to be found until he finished the jumps. But he went clean and he was happy and I was happy.

Vladimir Litvintsev (Azerbaijan) Total Score 225.67 - 6th in the short, 8th in the free. I like the Game of Thrones program, but I do not like the free at all, and that's what he struggled with this week. Went down on the 4S and turned out on the 4T. The program is very boring because there is no choreography between the jumps.

Gabriele Frangipani (Italy) Total Score 223.82 - 8th in the short, 9th in the free. I like him so I'm sad that he's been struggling a bit this season. And now that we have both Matteo and Daniel back it's not looking great for him. Was struggling on the spins tho, and both of the programs are kinda meh to me.

Mark Gorodnitsky (Israel) Total Score 215.76 - 9th in the short, 10th in the free. I don't think I've ever seen him display a single emotion while skating. He does not get a lot of elevation on his jumps. Very boring, very meh.

Juheon Lim (South Korea) Total Score 196.05 - 12th in the short, 12th in the free. So much improvement since Lombardia Trophy especially in the short! He is one of the many doing an Interstellar program but I really liked his costume. Had a bit of a disaster skate in the free unfortunately.

Women:

Kaori Sakamoto (Japan) Total Score 231.88 - 1st in the short, 1st in the free. THE QUEEN! SO much improvement from Skate Canada!!! So much speed and so much power. The Chicago program worked a lot better here, and I think people are starting to get behind it. She almost fell over on the ending pose, but she is so cute and I love her so much.

Mone Chiba (Japan) Total Score 212.54 - 2nd in the short, 2nd in the free. Love both of the programs, especially the short! Jumps are great, spins are excellent, and she's a great performer. Not much more you could ask of her. Can't wait to see her at the Cup of China.

Yuna Aoki (Japan) Total Score 195.07 - 3rd in the short, 5th in the free. Her short program brought me to tears and her free program is in my top 3 favorite programs of the season. Ran out of steam a bit in the second half of the free, so just needs to work on her endurance a smidge. I've been hearing that she was going to retire after last season so I'm so happy that she is still competing!

Alysa Liu (USA) Total Score 190.75 - 4th in the short, 4th in the free. I am in love with her short program, but the free is starting to grow on me. Just needs a bit more speed and energy, but I'm glad that she improved her standings a bit from Skate Canada.

Bradie Tennell (USA) Total Score 190.25 - 5th in the short, 3rd in the free. I'm still not vibing with the short, and I'm once again going to say that she needs more speed and energy. Such a shame that she went down on the 2A in the free. I am OBSESSED with the second half of her free. It was gorgeous and I was crying.

Lara Naki Gutmann (Italy) Total Score 180.28 - 6th in the short, 6th in the free. She is my creepy/weird queen. In love with the Squid Game program, I think it suits her so well. She wasn't emoting/performing as well in the free and I don't love the cartwheel.

Seoyeong Wi (South Korea) Total Score 173.77 - 7th in the short, 9th in the free. SOOO much better than Skate Canada!! Does not show a single emotion during her programs. She was a bit slow, especially on the spins. She also held her ending pose for literally .2 seconds after the free, which is a pet peeve of mine. HOLD it for just a smidge longer pls :)

Olga Mikutina (Austria) Total Score 169.93 8th in the short, 10th in the free. I liked her short, the Latin suits her very well. I don't have a lot of notes for her free, and I don't really remember it, so sorry Olga, that's all I got.

Lindsay Thorngren (USA) Total Score 169.03 - 10th in the short, 7th in the free. There was something on the ice that totally messed with her and caused her to go down on her 3F which is sad. Free was okay, but there's def room for improvement. We'll see her next week at Finlandia!

Niina Petrokina (Estonia) Total Score 165.85 - 11th in the short, 8th in the free. I'm pretty sure she did two combos in the short, so I'm not quite sure what happened there. We've got another Dune program because she's doing it for her free. She fell during the stsq which was rough. She had good speed and spins tho.

Ekaterina Kurakova (Poland) Total Score 157.14 - 9th in the short, 12th in the free. I don't really vibe with either one of her programs, but she is a great performer. I don't like that she's wearing cat ears, it just screams junior to me but she is 22 years old lol. Also besides the cat ears, her costume doesn't really scream cats to me.

Yelim Kim (South Korea) 152.84 - 12th in the short, 11th in the free. She did better than she did at Skate Canada so I'll take it. Even though she is having trouble with her technical elements she is still a beautiful skater to watch.

Pairs:

Anastasiia Metelkina / Luka Berulava (Georgia) Total Score 213.05 - 2nd in the short, 1st in the free. Them winning was definitely not on my bingo card. Unfortunately, I missed their short program because I was peeing, but the free was okay. I was not really vibing with them tbh. I did really like their gala performance tho.

Riku Miura / Ryuichi Kihara (Japan) Total Score 209.45 - 1st in the short, 2nd in the free. I am obsessed with them. They are everything to me. Big sad on the pair spin, but they are so fast and so entertaining to watch.

Ellie Kam / Danny O’Shea (USA) Total Score 197.44 - 3rd in the short, 3rd in the free. IDK, they look off when I'm looking at them but they do perform well together. She went down on both of the throw jumps, but I'm glad that they were able to make it on the podium!

Ice Dance:

Madison Chock / Evan Bates (USA) Total Score 215.95 - 1st in the short, 1st in the free. I think they took some music cuts out of the short which is good because there were wayyyyy too many music cuts. They have so much chemistry and excellent charisma. Also, I'm obsessed with her dress for the free.

Christina Carreira / Anthony Ponomarenko (USA) Total Score 198.97 - 2nd in the short, 2nd in the free. Great acting, especially from her. I really liked their lift in the short. I liked their Carmen free and there was a KISS!

Allison Reed / Saulius Ambrulevicuius (Lithuania) Total Score 195.52 - 3rd in the short, 3rd in the free. Their short definitely grew on me since France, but they were so fast and had so much energy. Their free is very interesting and I like the puppet/puppet master theme that they have going on. Great acting from both of them, especially in the second half.

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beskindtoyourself · 1 year ago

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i feel like im never gonna kill dermatillomania. im trying so hard but i lose hours to it, nights awake in the mirror-- i walk in to use the bathroom at at my worst have walked out eight hours later, four most recently. i feel like an ugly monster and so inhuman it makes me suicidal. why cant i stop?!!!!

First of all, I'm sending you all the love!! There is unfortunately no easy fix to the question of how to stop -- otherwise all of us would've done so a long time ago. So I can't give you a simple answer to your question, but I can tell you what helped me and give you some pointers on where to start in the hopes that any of it will make the difference for you too! 💗

Will make a cut after this, simply because the post would get pretty long.

There is two major things which made all the difference to me when trying to stop picking.

1. Identify your triggers

You've probably heard this before, but it really is so important. Becoming aware of ,and then eliminating your triggers can help you to not even let it get to the point where you *could* start picking, and that's the best way to break any habit.

You mentioned the mirror and being stuck in the bathroom - I mentioned in this previous post about showering that this is a danger zone for me too. Mirrors, especially if you pick at your face or chest/shoulder region can be the only way for you to see your own skin, so naturally it suddenly makes you aware of all your "problem zones". Mirrors in combination with often harsh lighting (yes hotel rooms, I'm looking at you in particular) can bring out details in your skin you otherwise wouldn't even be able to see - for good reason, because we actually don't need to see that!

So knowing the bathroom and mirrors is a place where you get stuck and slip into picking mode, my first advice would be to avoid this place as good as possible. Now obviously we all have to go to the bathroom at some point :) so we can't just avoid that room forever, but there *are* some ways to make it less triggering.

- Covering up mirrors has helped a lot of people I know (you can wrap a scarf or towel around it or even tape paper over it). If you can't see, you can't pick!

- Reduce the light if possible. When I'm tired and overwhelmed before going to bed, I only carry a little nightlight with me to go to the bathroom, so I don't have to turn on the headlights and can't see any details on my skin. Bonus points if the light is a different colour!!

- If you only need the sink and not the toilet, use another sink! Brush your teeth in your kitchen sink. Wash your hands in the kitchen sink. Clean your face in the kitchen sink (or any other skins you have outside of your bathroom that don't have a mirror, you get the idea)

- See here again for tips on showering

Other tips regarding triggers:

- Keep a log on when, where, for how long and why you pick your skin to become aware of your triggers. It makes you more aware of your own habits which is the first step to break them!

- See here for ideas on what to do with your hands if you often pick just because your fingers start to "get bored"

2. Identify the role of shame

Now this is a topic which has made a huge difference for me. The role of shame can have a huge impact on blocking your journey to stop and it really changed the relationship I have to my own bfrbs and my body to realise this:

If you pick your skin and you feel ashamed of it, it will most likely lead you to pick again to deal with that shame and so on, until you land in a vicious cycle of shame > picking > shame > picking.

The issue is here that you can't shame yourself into stopping or into loving yourself - that's something that can only be accomplished by applying compassion and love.

Now this one requires more time and patience and mental space to deal with than simply identifying your triggers which is why I'd recommend doing the latter first, but I wanted to mention it because it made such a difference for me, so it might do the same for someone else.

Finally here are some resources I have for you:

@/thankyourluckyscars on Instagram makes great and informative posts about skin picking and how to stop (also about shame)

@/pickingmefoundation has great resources as well, for example, a skin-picking log to help you track your triggers!

"Skin Picking - The freedom to finally stop" by Annette Pasternak is a great book I've gone back to for tips many times.

I hope any of this long post was helpful to you! Sending you once again all the love and strength for your journey and I hope you know you're not alone in it! 💗

#ask #anon #tw suicide #text post #gentle reminders #tips #resources #bfrb #bfrb awareness #skin picking #actually adhd #actually autistic #dermatillomania

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unohanabbygirl · 1 year ago

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I was going to post something a little bit longer but it got deleted when my computer shut down so ill just keep it short . What if there is a scene kind of like in "The Butterfly Effect," where Aemond and Luke are having this conversation in a diner and Aemond finally got Luke to meet with him but not only that it has been a good minute that they have seen each other because well Luke ran away and he got tired of all the family drama and quite simply he has too much trauma that he is dealing with his own sh-. This is the first time Aemond has seen Luke in a while and Luke appears worse than when he had last seen him, he looks pale, gaunt, heavy bags, scars now on his face, old scabs on his arms and hands, signs of drug use and other self destructive qualities. He looks tired and really doesn't care in the slightest what Aemond has to say about the past life or his apologies. Because he is over it. All the while Aemond is trying hard not to fall apart at seeing the love of his life in the condition and is trying to get Luke to come back again to his old self to come back to him, to remember the love he had for his family, but Luke can't feel that love anymore because people have shown nothing but hate and ugliness to him that its overpowered all the love he was given in the past life. Like the scene in the film he tells Luke with tears in his eyes "You were happy once." Luke is just listening to Aemond talk about the past and how he regrets hurting Luke and Storms End, and Luke has this sleepy drugged out look in his eyes scoffing at Aemond and saying that he is still that kid stuck in the past, and tells Aemond mockingly and nonchalantly "its okay Aemond, don't worry, you didn't break me, other men did that, so don't feel bad about it." "So what, you want me to apologize for the eye, okay I'm sorry, you want me to apologize for the pig joke? you want my forgiveness, fine you have it." "That kid you killed at Storms End, is dead, he died there and if he did come back, he's been dead a long time ago." Luke just gets up barely able to walk and walks away "I got my own sh- to deal with than something that happened 2k, 10k years ago." Scoffing at Aemond. Aemond at this point is broken beyond any repair.

Inspired entirely by your amazing story "Forget Me Not," Unohananbbygirl and "The Butterfly Effect."!

This is so beautiful yet so heartwrenching!

I love this little drabble because the possibility of Luke running away and falling further and further down the rabbit hole of drugs, stealing and sex work is a big one. All it takes is the wrong words from the right person and Luke could very much just say forget it and decide that fighting the person he’s become isn’t worth it in the end.

I think that’s one of many parts that makes FMN so tragic. This scenario you’ve written has just as much of a chance at happening as the happy ending we’re all waiting for. So many people who live in a simyreality end up like this everyday, regardless of their financial situation (though coming from a harsh background makes it all the more likely)

Luke very well could feel himself incapable of change and choose to part ways with everyone because even though Luke will always be that caring kid down to his very core, Lucerys Velaryon died above ship breakers bay with his dragon over a thousand years ago and isn’t ever going to come back. That in itself is enough to convince Luke that the family is better off without him since the person they’ve been looking for is technically no more.

Now that I’m thinking of it, this makes me wonder if the reincarnation cycle would just keep on continuing until everyone gets their shit together. Of course this current like they’re living is a second chance, but would they get a 3rd, 4th, 5th, so on and so forth if they fail to truly fix everything. Sort like a circle of hell, forced to continue on as the world changes until everyone gets their happy ending. My god anon, you have my brain working overtime and I love you for it lmao

#asks

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txxfiles · 11 months ago

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give me all the fics where the boys kiss

Hi! It looks like I'm week 3!

I honestly have no idea idea what im doing really but i guess you'll just have to listen to me ramble about something i enjoy. Seems to fit the theme we've accidentally settled on and well! if theres one thing im good at rambling about its bl fanfiction. i read ALOT of fanfiction. like 13million words worth of it in 2023 alone (an estimate but i did the ugly math for jan and feb last year and id already read 2.7 million words so i dont think its too high an estimate).

ive read fics from too many fandoms to count and also have way more hyperfixations then any one person has a right too but the one that has owned my ass consistently for the last 4 years is The Untamed otherwise know as Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS).

The lovely Eucalyptus from week 2 was watching the untamed during covid (and holy shit what a wild ride that was) and the next thing I know im neck deep drowning in fan art and tiktok edits of beautiful chinese men that have no business being as talented as they are (Im looking at u Wang Yibo) This. shit. fucked. up. my. life.

then i turned to my good friend AO3 (love of my life i could not exist without you) and 4 years later ive read my tags dry. if its complete, ive read it. im getting desperate and ive started reading works in progress, yikes. its so risky i honestly cannot tell you how much anxiety it gives me. ive been burnt too many times.

HOWEVER

this does mean if you need a fic recommendation then your girl has got you covered, so i figured i would share with you my TOP SIX fic recommendations. im sorry i tried to make it 5 but i just couldnt do it.

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner & sundiscus

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 71,479 words - Complete

Omg. Wangxian Startrek AU. The pining, the miscommunication. I felt every range of emotion on this roller-coaster. I literally printed this out so that I could keep it forever. I wish I could read it for the first time all over again. This Fic hit AO3 like a comet. It even has it’s own Tumblr thread! Also comes with stunning fanart.

Paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 53,808 words - Complete

Modern Day AU, Musician/Single dad Lan Wangji falls in love with his son’s Art Teacher Wei Wuxian. I swear it's one of the cutest stories ever written, makes me feel all the good things. A-yuan is adorable and wangxian are hot and charming. The Ultimate wangxian comfort fic.

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller

Jin Rulan & Wei Wuxian - 63,907 words - Complete

Jin Ling fishes his Da-Ju out of the gutter post canon (Literally dying alone in a dirty inn, Wei Wuxian it's been 5 minutes pls) and decides if no one else is gonna keep him then he damn well will.

It is perfect.

Junior Quartet goodness, Yunmeng bro reconciliation and Jin Ling being a boss bitch little shit that has no time for anyone's bullshit. I cried as much as Jin Ling did in this story – which is alot. (Also another story ive made myself a solid copy of that i can love forever)

Joy In The Mindst of These Things by Glitterbombshell

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 52,901 words - 5 Works

TEACHER WEI WUXIAN! I love this trope with my whole soul. Lots of adorable baby Lans, I would kill for them. Beautifully written. Lan Qiren gets a much needed wakeup call. Last story is incomplete but can be read without the 5th installment. SO WORTH IT, ive read it like 10 times

The One-Body Problem by mitisket

Lan Jingyi & Wei Wuxian - 28,689 words - Complete

Well shit. How many times have a reread this story? I honestly couldn't tell you. Jingyi gets possessed by Wei Wuxian’s very tired soul pre canon and it changes nothing and yet everything. Their friendship gives me life and Jingyi fixes a lot of problems for his new bestie/mentor/uncle with his big mouth. Mom I love him

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 277,225 words - Complete

The best Zombie Apocalypse au on the MDZS tag honestly. There are so many good zombie film references in this one, i see you Train to Busan. Baby junior quartet, a perfect Wei Wuxian modern day depiction and so much love, angst and stress. It's delicious and I've never recovered.

All of these fics are actually part of a mother document i made last week of all my favourite fics organised by tag because apparently thats what i do with my free time. hit me up if you need a rec!

Now that ive gotten that off my chest i'll let you be lol. maybe I'll do a rec for a different fandom next time. I definitely have enough to choose from!

Lots of Love,

Iris

#blog post #fic rec #mdzs #rant post #2024 #Iris

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ocean-park-avenue · 2 years ago

Text

Do I Wanna Know? - Joel Miller X Reader (TLOU)

(Originally posted on AO3)

Story summary:

Tess, your friend of a few years, makes you team up with the grumpiest and most distanced man you’ve met, Joel Miller. All to get some supplies from a camp in Dallas, Texas. But when you discover there might be more to it than just getting supplies, you agree to help.

You only hope that Joel will come around to you, or it’s gonna be a long trip.

Chapter 1: September, 2031

Word count:

2,669

Warnings:

None for this chapter.

(Note: Even though I'm not necessarily new to Tumblr, I've never actually posted a multi-chapter fanfiction. I apologize if it's formatted weirdly at all or if there are any grammatical errors.)

Waking up cold, sweaty and damp wasn’t your preferred way of starting the day. Especially since the heat of the summer carried itself into September, where it sat in it’s humid glory to shine down up its unsuspecting victims. Like you.

Luckily, since you had the sleep schedule of a depressed person, you woke up just as the sun was balancing on the horizon, waiting until the sky was tired enough to fall asleep. And since you were a night owl, what a better time to wake.

Lazily scooting out of bed, you fixed your white undershirt as you maneuvered across your very small apartment over to your so called “bathroom”. What you saw in the mirror was no surprise; dark circles that practically looked like garbage bags sat under your eyes. A few scars could be seen strewn across your dirty, greasy face. The top of your head looked like a mess. Uneven skin tones all along your face and chest. An absurd amount of bruises. And last but not least, the nasty scowl that lined your lips. Your face was a beauty to behold. It matched you perfectly.

You couldn’t bare to stare at yourself any longer, so after mumbling to yourself about how ugly you looked, you took of your clothes, climbed into your makeshift bathtub, and started scrubbing, thinking that maybe if you scrubbed hard enough, the ugliness on the inside would be cleaned away too.

After your pathetic excuse for a break down, you were able to find some decently clean clothes amongst the piles you had filing your apartment. No wonder you found it so small. Getting dressed was easier than it was yesterday, but you told yourself that everyday, so honestly, you had no idea.

You were able to find your best pair of boots among your mess, so you laced them up, and headed out the door, almost forgetting your backpack.

It was a nice night today. A cool wind fluttered against the jacket you wore. You inhaled deeply and savoured the moment. Your reality came back to you when the loud warning telling everyone that it was curfew sounded through the buildings and streets. Signing, you began your journey by staying hidden in alleyways from soldier after soldier. It was fairly easy since you’d taken this route to Tess’s for nearly a month. Your previous, and albeit easier routes, had been compromised, so you had to take this new drawn out way just so you wouldn’t get caught sneaking when you were supposed to be home.

After an easy but long journey, you were able to make it to Tess’s place within the hour, only after bribing the man who watched over the tunnel you took with a ration card.

You silently opened the apartment door Tess had left unlocked for you and snuck inside. Tess’s apartment looked like any other one in this sad, forlorn city. Nothing about it looked homey, maybe except for the old upholstered couch that sat against the wall. But it looked more homely than homey.

After a quick sweep around the apartment, you dragged your attention back to the homely couch where Tess was laying on it, sprawled out like a starfish.

Her hands were behind her head, her eyes closed, but you knew she wasn’t asleep. Even though you’d know her for a little over two years, you’d never seen the woman actually sleep.

“Tess? I’m here. Would you care to at least greet me when I walk in the door?” you said, approaching her side.

Tess smirked, but still kept her eyes closed as you tapped your foot against the couch to get her attention. Still, she remained silent and smiling.

“Hmm,” you scoffed. “Maybe I’ll just have to take a seat until she wakes up.”

Purposely, you walked to the end of the couch and slowly sat down on her legs.

“Aww, you bitch!” Tess roared. “Get you ass off of my leg!”

She slapped your arm as you stood up again, laughing at her pain.

“God, you suck.” Tess said as she rolled her eyes and sat up against the back of the couch. “You can see the cast right? Where my broken leg is?”

“Oh, is that was that is?” You smiled cheekily as you tried to hold in your giggle.

“Yes, it is. I don’t need two broken legs that you caused.” She lifted her casted leg to rest on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“I would hardly consider your leg to be my fault.”

“Says the girl who dropped a fucking vending machine on it.”

You couldn’t hold in your laugh. Tess rolled her eyes again with a smile on her face.

You sat down on the couch bedside her and propped your feet up on the coffee table. “So, when can you take it off?” you asked.

“Apparently… in a month, which is total bullshit because I’ve been doing everything that little weasel, Adam is saying. I even gave him some of my extra rations cards and all he did was give me the same pills he had stolen from me a while back! Can you believe him?!” Tess explained, all while glaring at the cast around her leg.

“Actually, I can. Adam is a greasy fella so it’s not surprising he yet again managed to dupe you into buying your own stuff back.” You chuckled to yourself and Tess punched your arm.

“So why did you want me to come here early this time?” you asked.

“Well, your not gonna like it. All I can say right now is it involves the guy I’ve been talking with and—“

“Wait, do you mean that guy who I see you with all the time but you never tell me anything about?” You questioned.

“Yes, and—“

“Why are you involving him in one of your plans? You barely know him. And why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could’ve helped you with whatever it was. You didn’t need some stranger who just came to town.” By now your breathing had gotten heavier, and your eyebrows lowered as you glared at Tess.

“Technically, he’s been here for a few months now, but that’s besides the point. I didn’t tell you because I know how you react, and your not the best when it comes to working with people you don’t know. Believe me, I have experience.”

You rolled your eyes as her comment as Tess continued. “And the guy I’m talking with, he doesn’t know anything, too. He’s in the dark about all of this. I’m got him setting up stuff and getting supplies he doesn’t even know what for.”

You crossed your arms and looked away from Tess as you said, “That doesn’t exactly make me fell better. But why keep us in the dark in the first place?”

“Eh, I’ve got some major trust issues I’ve gotta work out. But I promise, I’ll tell you everything… Just as soon as he gets here.”

“What?!” You exclaimed. “You invited him to your place? Why!”

“We’re all in the business of it, so why not get to together since I’ve figuered everything out already?”

Tess’s explanation didn’t help your nerves in the slightest. Just as you were about to argue with her more, a low knock sounded from the door.

“It’s open!” Tess said, and the man who you’d seen Tess talking to all this while, came into the apartment with a look of confusion and weariness on his face.

After locking the door back, the man turned to face you both.

“Tess,” he greeted her with a nod and then turned to you. “Who’s this?”

Tess introduced you by name. “I‘ve known her for a while so she’s helping me with my newest scheme.”

The man still stood by the door, eye brows furrowed as he looked you over. You returned the favor as you sized him up as well. The man seemed to be around middle-aged, with streaks of grey hair that could be seen throughout his short brown hair and rough bread. He wore a flannel shirt that rolled up, showing of his muscled and hairy forearms. The dark jeans he wore were scuffed and dirty, which also matched the description of his worn boots. Though what you were drawn to the most was his face. His hazel eyes bore into yours. A lifetime of hurt, hate and sadness could be seen behind them but he hid it well.

As you continued to stare at him, Tess introduced him. “That’s Joel. I already told you how he’s been helping me out but I’ll explain everything later.”

Joel still stood by the door, looking like a brooding statue as you turned back to Tess and glared at her. “I’d appreciate if you’d get on to that explanation now.”

Tess sighed and did her best to recount her history with Joel. Meeting a few months ago, apparently Joel was a smuggler who helped Tess with some goods she needed to get out of Boston. She realized they made a good team and they help each other out when they could. Tess had thought up her plan only a few weeks ago and had Joel running around doing errands for her since her leg was broken and he apparently owed her. For what, she didn’t mention.

“And that’s basically it. Any questions?” Tess asked, glancing between you and Joel, who was now leaned up against the wall near the apartment door.

You raised your brows and responded. “Uh, yes? You still haven’t explained what your plan is about and what you expect us to do.”

“Okay, okay. Ill tell you. But you have to listen to it all before making any decisions.” Tess heaved a sigh before continuing. “As you know, Boston’s not doing good on supplies right now. Everyone’s low on everything, even the soldiers. But a few weeks back, I overheard some outsiders talking about a camp of survivors out in Dallas. Apparently, they’re sitting on a whole heap of supplies they don’t even know are there. I’m talking guns, foods, medicine… you get the gist. I want those supplies and you two are gonna get them for me.”

“What?!” You and Joel both said in unison.

“It’s gonna be fine. I’ve already got everything planned out and I can fill you both in—“

You cut her off. “Tess, no. I’m sorry, but no. I can’t agree to a plan I know nothing about and for supplies that your probably just going to take for yourself and sell to the highest bidder. And Dallas? It would take at least a month to get there! And how would we even bring all of it back? It sounds impossible, even for your standards.”

“See, I knew you’d say all this and why I never tell you anything I’m doing till the last minute. You quick to judge and think nearly ever damn plan I come up with is impossible.” Tess countered.

“Because they are!” You yelled back.

“What about that job we did a while back? We ended up getting enough stock to fill this whole room!”

“You mean when we had to say trapped in that basement for days without food or clean water because you failed to mention that we were walking into a horde’s nest?”

“Well—“

“Well nothing, Tess. I have to say no. And you,” you said turning to face Joel. “How come your so quiet? Don’t you have anything to say about her ridiculous plan?”

Joel stood quietly, crossing his arms over one another as he continued to stare at you with his cold expression. He didn’t say anything.

You rolled your eyes and faced Tess again, this time lowering your voice. “Tess, I’m serious. I’m not willing to throw myself into danger for no reason. I’m not like that anymore. So please, tell me there’s another reason of why you need me. Why can’t you wait until your leg is healed if these people don’t know anything? Why not wait?”

Tess pressed a hand to your cheek and sighed again. “If I tell you the real reason I’m not sure if you like me still or hate me.” She moved her hand to your neck and brought your ear to her mouth as she whispered, “Those outsiders I overheard, said there was another group nearby, just outside of Dallas that was being lead by your father.”

You pulled away quickly, a look of shock and horror plaguing your features. “What? How do you know?”

“The way they described him sounded exactly how you had when you told me about him.”

Just then a wave of emotions and memories flooded back to you. You hadn’t seen your father in nearly seven years, not since you were 18. When you’d left after… You didn’t want to think of all the painful memories right now, not in front of Tess or that man.

Tess brought your attention back to her. “I’m just asking you to think about it, that’s all. I don’t need an answer right now. But make it soon if your gonna say yes, we don’t have that much time.”

You didn’t say anything as you stood up from the couch, grabbed your backpack, and stormed out of Tess’s apartment, ignoring the look you got from Joel as you left.

You had to be extremely careful as you headed back to your own apartment. You had difficulty concentrating when your emotions were so heightened. It’s why you’d spent all this time burying them deep inside yourself, so they’d never resurface.

You finally made it back to your apartment, slamming the door and throwing your backpack and jacket into some forgotten corner. Sitting down on your bed, you raked your hands through your hair and you tried to calm yourself.

You didn’t need to think of any of this know, you had time. But what did you think about this? While it was true that Boston was going to shit without any supplies, you could always move onto a different town if things got rough. But even so, it took you at least a few months to even find and get to Boston. How long would you have to scour around this country looking for a new place to call home, or at least keep you safe? The infected were the second most dangerous thing these days, with hunters around every corner these days.

Your thoughts drifted to your father and about what Tess had said. You still had time to give her an answer and even though you just woken up a couple hours ago, you were already feeling tired.

You sighed as you held your head in your hands. What you needed right now was to sleep this off. So, you removed your boots and pants, crawled into bed, and cried yourself to sleep, reminding you of the many times you’d done it before when you’d first left your father and we’re all alone in the only world you knew.

The next day when you walked into Tess’s apartment, there were weapons and supplies littered everywhere. On the coffee table laid out was a map of the U.S.A., and in either side, Joel and Tess pointing to different spots and making conversation no doubt about Tess’s still impossible sounding plan.

When you approached the table, both Joel and Tess looked up at you, clad in your cargo pants, best hiking boots and black jacket, your backpack swung over your shoulder, as if you were ready to face the world. Which was exactly how you felt.

Tess said your name and looked you up and down. “What made you change your mind?” She smirked up at you and you returned the same smile but ignored her question.

“If I’m agreeing to this, I’ve got to know everything, even to the last detail. I want nothing overlooked. Got it?” You declared.

Tess nodded. “Got it.”

“Then, where do we start?”

Next chapter 🡆

#joel x reader #the last of us #fanfic #tlou

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