#This movie is fake and no these arent actually studies

[foervraengd]

Goncharov (1973)

Oh don’t mind me im just doing some cinematography art studies of my favourite Katya moments ~

[bekionist]

Questions I typically hear about schizophrenia:

1) Why don't they just stay on their meds?

There are loads of reasons for this because it depends on the person, but it boils down to a few things. 1) They don't like how the meds feel. Meaning the meds we take are antipsychotics, they fix an imbalance in our brain, they fix a CHEMICAL problen, therefore the meds changes thing and a lot of them have side effects that sometimes we are forced to accept because no other meds or combination works. 2) It is the only thing they can control. Everyone knows how it feels to be trapped and wanting to have some type of control. When you're entire life is chaos, and you want control, sometimes the only thing a schizophrenic can control is taking their meds (or not taking them). 3) It's weird. We hear voices and see things all the time and all of sudden you expect us to be perfectly comfortable with the idea that my day-to-day that I've adapted to is about to change? That those voices and other hallucinations will just happen less? It's WEIRD definitely for the folks who've lived with it for most of their lives.

2) What are voices like?

Imagine being in a room with a bunch of people who are talking, but no one actually is in the room with you, and they are commenting on everything you are thinking, seeing, saying, etc.

3) Isn't scary living like that, seeing things and hearing things that arent there, isn't it scary?

Yes and no. Yes, becsuse of course it is scary seeing things and hearing things that aren't real, and of course it makes life uncomfortable and unnerving. But also no because you get used to it. This disorder doesn't go away, you eventually come to terms about it, and just move on. Some are better at it than others, it just depends on the person. But yes, it is obviously scary, I have heard things and have seen things that only nightmares could create, no one wants to see/hear those types of things all the time.

4) What do the voices say?

Depends the person and studies have shown it also depends where you are from. Me personally they say so many things it's like having a peanut gallery in my head. They nitpick things, mimic familar voices, say horrible things, scream, or just say nonsense. It's a room full of people so many things can be said.

5) Can you talk to the voices/hallucinations?

Yes. That being said, most don't, or only do because it's exhausting having random voices taunting you all day.

It can cause things to get worse, which is why most do not. Understand hallucinations can "interact" with the person's surroundings, so interacting with the hallucinations makes reality shaky.

6) What is dissociation and what is it like?

Dissociation is a loss of reality. It is different for everyone but what I commonly hear and also I personally describe it as being dropped somewhere and having no clue why you are there. Like being dropped in someone else's life and you're now the side character. You're whole reality feels fake, like watching a 3D movie. You're unsure what is real, things can seem brighter or darker. For me personal moods/vibes can affect how my dissociation plays out.

7) Are schizophrenics violent?

Schizophrenics are more likely to be a VICTIM of violence than an perpetrator of violence. We have violent thoughts, most are centered around violence to us, it can be focused on other things but most do not act on it. The thoughts are usually from the voices, so the schizophrenic does not want to do what the voices want. If one gets violent, something set them off, schizophrenics don't just get violent randomly. Meaning something someone said or did set something off with the voices or the episode and caused the violence. Similar to people with autism.

8) Are schizophrenics crazy (making a statement into a question)?

Yes and no. We have a psychotic disorder, so obviously the disorder itself is crazy. No, because you're idea of crazy isn't the crazy a schizophrenic is. You're thinking of when we are dissociating, when we are not mentally there, when we are having an episode. Our crazy is, by accident replying to the voices because you thought it was an actualy person, making random sounds, sitting in strange, uncomfortable positions, hallucinating. Thats what crazy is to a schizophrenic. Those are crazaay things that happen to us. I cannot tell you how many times the voices mimicked my mother calling for me and i replied and ran down to her to find out she wasn't even home.

Obviously, those other things are crazy, but thats the disorder we can't do anything about, we can do as much about it as much as an ADHD kid can do with staying focus. It's the disorder, we are trying, give us a break.

9) How do you live like that?

Honestly, you just do. For some like myself, i grew up with it so it is easier to live with it, for others who didn't. They had to learn acceptance. It's hard, and it can be really funny at times. Once you accept that you're life will be like this forever, forever hearing voices, forver seeing things, forever losing touch with reality, forever all the other symptoms, you make do, you adapt, you find humor in the misery. We live like this because the other choice is death and that is NOT the answer-- acceptance and adjusting is.

10) Best advice to give to someone who has it/someone you know has it?

Patience is key to this disorder. Be patient because your life will never be the same again. Your life before this disorder unfortunately isn't coming back the way you imagined it because now the disorder is part of it. Be patient with yourself, this is a new you, a new life, you need time to adjust and learn. Be patient, it won't be easy, this disorder is know for how difficult it is to live with, so be patient, learn what works for you, get support/help, and keep going.

This applies to all schizophrenia types. This disorder is hard to live with, education and support are key.

[lgbtpolitics]

Realising I am a lesbian (this is gonna be long)

This is not something I talk about much because I see it as something personal and not for public discussion. Equally I feel that online discussions, especially on tumblr are steeped in this idea of "winning" an argument, "proving" you're allowed to say this or that and "owning" your "opponents" and I dont like my personal story to have any part of that.

But the recent discussion I was just having made me reminisce a lil bit so I'm gonna talk about it now. Because I feel like where I'm coming from on this is pretty relevant.

Something you need to understand is that I was not popular in primary school. I had like barely any friends. I basically got it into my head that I was more mature than everyone else, and I was like, so excited to go to secondary school. I watched all the rom coms about high school and I just saw it as my chance to be the super popular girl, that dates all the boys, and everyone loves etc. This fantasy of myself as the next regina George was something that really kept me going during that time. And I went to secondary school and tbh I got my wish- ofc real life isnt as dramatic as the movies, there was no dramatic walking down the halls with everyone in awe- but for all intents and purposes i was relatively popular, had my little girl gang, and most importantly, loads of boys fancied me. I got my first kiss age 11 and just felt I was succeeding in life. I subsequently got slapped in the face with the realisation that I was a lesbian.

Now this was like, unacceptable to me. I basically promised myself that it didn't matter, I was gonna stay closeted forever, I could still date boys, no one needed to know. This idea i had that my attractiveness to boys was my sole life force was not going away any time soon. So i did that. I dated boys, and I was enjoying it too. I knew I wasnt really into them (do not @ me about the ethics of that this is middle school it was never gonna last regardless) but really the whole point of dating them was to satiate my need to be the super attractive girl, not actual feelings. That was true before I realised I was gay and it was still true afterwards so yeah I was still getting that same buzz, the delight of realising someone's into me, scrutinizing him with my friends, gossiping about it- I was loving it. So far none of this is sounding very gay I know. The thing was these relationships would never last longer than maybe like 2 months. That's not that strange for that age group, hence why no one picked up on it, but after the initial hype wore down, after it became something in my life not a new adventure I was just bored and I started to hate it. I remember this would change really rapidly, almost overnight I would go from being so excited about him to just wanting him nowhere near me. I like kinda knew this was because of my sexuality but like I said, as far as i was concerned I could basically just be straight and only think about women in private so I didn't scrutinise it too much.

Anyway fast forward a few years of this. When I was 18 I moved somewhere new, much more accepting place with -SHOCK- other, out, gay people. This was like crazy to me and I came out to a handful of my friends. It was bliss honestly. However to my, and my friends, surprise I did not stop getting with guys after I'd come out to people. It was really weird for me, I just like could not stop seeing guys like a dating prospect. I was not actively dating guys but like sometimes kissing them at parties stuff like that. I remember thinking that I needed to stop getting with them if I wanted people to believe me that I was gay, but then thinking, if i need to try then surely I'm not gay, like what is this? So when I went to uni I came out as bisexual. I really wanted to come out at uni because i was ok with people knowing now, but I was scared of like making announcements to people so going away was like, my opportunity to just let people know when I first met them and it would be a casual thing. And I just decided I was gonna say I was bisexual because saying I was confused felt too personal to share with people I was just meeting but also if I was still getting with guys, any discussion of how I could be a lesbian also felt too personal so i was like ok I'm bisexual now. I dont mean this like I actively lied, I mean more like, I just told myself I must be, because i seemingly could not stop getting with guys.

So yeah for a couple of years I identified as bisexual. I basically changed my mind because of one event. What happened was, there was this guy on my course who like, I had noticed before, but not in an attraction way (not even fake attraction, like I had not even thought about him as hot, or someone i would wanna get with i just knew like who he was). And whilst out with some friends of mine, they were getting all giggly and gossipy about how cute this guy is. I just saw them like laughing about something and then one of them turned to me and said "Dont you think x is really fit?" And in that moment, suddenly, I thought he was really fit. I dont mean I lied and pretended to join I mean in that split second I suddenly started to feel something towards him that I did not before. And for some reason, this time I was acutely conscious of the fact that I did not find him attractive before she said anything. And this event really stayed with me and I was pondering it for ages, and started to realise that basically every guy I'd fancied up to that point I'd actually done the same thing with. Like I would have no inclination to get with a boy until he or someone else put the idea in my head. And I was latching on to that idea every time. And this feeling was not following through, I'm not gonna go into detail about sex I was having but basically yeah it didn't hold up. And just like that, I basically just realised that a lot of my attraction to men was the same as it was when i was 12 years old: all about about the idea of it and not really about them, or my enjoyment at all. I linked this back to my obsession with being this figure of "girl all the guys want", despite the fact that I was now studying science at university, not doing make up and nearly all my friends were guys etc, I'd basically entirely let go of this persona, but the impact of having spent my whole life was that I could not distinguish between someone I liked and someone I liked the idea of and I could see it really clearly all of a sudden.

Initially I thought it was just me. Like I'd concocted this image of myself that had convinced me I was bisexual for years. Up until I started reading about other lesbians experiences with this- I wasnt alone and I wasnt even the oldest person just realising it. That was another big factor was that I felt way to old to still be questioning my sexuality, especially considering I was now out of the closet, I was involved in a lot of lgbt activism and politics and I just felt a bit pathetic. Realising this was actually a really common experience, actually including feeling more of this "attraction" to men after coming out, was honestly not just a huge relief to me but also just made me feel more comfortable identifying as a lesbian, and not feeling like I had to justify every past relationship I'd had with men in order to do so.

Now I actually still have a lot of friends who think I'm bisexual. I do tell people I'm not, but they dont believe me a lot of the time, and I dont blame them. I understand that I got with a lot of boys and they just see that and think "shes definitely bi". They're mostly men, quite a few of them are straight and people just arent aware that this is a thing that lesbians experience. That pretty much concludes my story, and I just wanna say that the reason I'm posting this is not, as I said at the top, about "winning" this "argument" I was having, I just want people to see this stuff. I just shared contrpoints video where she talks about the same stuff, saying how one of my friends actually got in touch with me after seeing that to say he kind of could see what I meant about me being a lesbian. Call it comphet call it whatever you want. The point is, it is a common experience, and it is something people struggle with, even after realising that that's what it is, it doesn't go away when you put a name to it. Recognising it does help though, it's been a while now since I've even contemplated being with any man. Also when you do feel that stuff, it helps to just ask yourself if what you're feeling is attraction, or a buzz from the idea of it. Having an understanding that it's not just about forcing yourself but actually you feel something genuine, but that that something is not attraction really helps to understand it aswell.

[sardonic-but-not-unkind]

The Guest (2014) David headcannons

so originally in the movie he did have a backstory, but it was cut in favor of making him more mysterious. this is partly based on info about the deleted footage i could find online and partly from my imagination.

naturally highly empathetic

parents died in a car crash when he was 14

David bounced around in the foster system in the midwest until he graduated high school

didn’t know what to do after high school and joined the military

trained with Caleb and they were deployed together

just the best of buds; like brothers

the shrapnel in David’s back that landed him in the hospital is from the same attack that also injured Caleb

due to the differing nature of their injuries, they were treated in different hospitals and had no idea if the other was still alive

David’s injury fucked up his spine and severely paralyzed him

was told he would never fully recover

was then approached by KPG (military contractor organization who branched out from weapons manufacturing and training into genetic research) 

basically told that he could submit himself to their scientific study into regenerative medicine for free and that it is his only chance at healing even a little bit

with nothing left to lose, he agrees

has no idea what KPG was intending to do and was made to sign a lot of documents while high on hospital drugs

Caleb is drafted into this program using similar shady methods

as soon as they agree, they are declared dead by the US gov and Caleb’s family is notified (David doesn’t have anyone to notify)

they are transferred to the KPG labs were they are rehabilitated, then realize something isn’t right

their bodies are healed, but they arent being given full range of mobility: locked in their hospital rooms and (depending on how much they disrespect authority) are restrained to their beds

for easy access to test subjects, they are moved into a large room with cells lining the walls with an operating table and other lab equipment in the center

David and Caleb don’t see the outside of that room for months

at first they shared a cell, but as the other test subjects started dying off, more cells became available and they were separated

think Maximum Ride or The Bourne Identity

the first phase was pumping them full of drugs that are meant to change them physically, make them stronger, more tolerant to pain, remove their ability to feel panic, heighten their focus  etc

but it only works about halfway.

David’s memory of this time (and pretty much every moment since his injury) is foggy because of the drugs so everything he remembers is fragmented 

one round of tests was particularly harmful, causing the deaths of several subjects, including Caleb

David watches Caleb dies on an operating table as scientist observe how the drugs are affecting him

the last thing Caleb says to David is to “find my family---the petersons... and tell them I love each of them. Be there for them. Protect them now that I can’t”

having grown up feeling like his only opportunity at a family was gone, those words impact David so greatly that they are the only thing he can clearly remember

to be tasked with being the guardian of his solitary friend’s family imbued him purpose

the scientists begin to realize that about 3/4 of the test group is dying as a result of the drugs, while the rest are actually surviving with the intended results

these surviving few move on to the next stage of testing, psychological reprogramming

all kinds of scary military torture tactics and mindfuck drugs are used to completely break them and slowly mold them into perfect drones who execute orders without question or hesitation

real Bourne Identity shit

David encounters Major Carver during this time and comes to associate him with the conditioning

David remembers even less from this time, but he remembers the Navy Seal-esque training he was put through

test subjects who are noncompliant are killed immediately

So, miraculously, he lives his life like this for a month; being drugged, tortured, and undergoing an intensive workout regimen 

eventually, all the other test subjects die (either by disobedience or incompatibility with the medication or physical exhaustion) and David is the only one left standing

the goal of the experiment was to create human drones that execute can execute a wide array of orders while using critical thinking and problem solving and still maintaining respect for civilians/hostages. half drone half person

unfortunately, David’s programming was so complete that although he showed in verbal and written tests that he valued human life, in practice he could not complete a mission without harming “non-combatants” and showed a tendency to revert to violence over diplomacy.

thus the project was deemed a failure and the testing site was closed.

David, the sole survivor, was moved to a smaller facility where KPG intended to harvest the last bit of data for future trials and then euthanize him

this is when he makes his escape by setting a fire and faking his death.

after that he can only do one thing: obey orders

and whats the one order that his fragmented mind has placed the most importance on?

protecting the petersons

so he uses emotional manipulation to get the mother to let her guard down, then when she offers him Caleb’s room, he realizes that a part of her wants her son back and is willing to let David in as a surrogate, so he backs off

he isolates what specific thing is bothering every family member, and destroys it in the only way he knows how

he stages the dad’s boss’s suicide so he can be promoted

is constantly helping in the kitchen and with various household chores (chopping vegetables, picking up the brother from school, etc) to fill the void left by Caleb

frames the sister’s drug dealer boyfriend for murder to get her away from his bad influence and their lackluster relationship

defends the brother against his bullies and advocates for him when he is about to be suspended

David also actively tries to befriend the brother and sister, seeing how lonely and emotionally isolated they are in the wake of their brother’s death

 but of course when he is compromised, he has to destroy all loose ends

its honestly chilling in the movie how he hunts down the family members with a mix of determination and utter emotional detatchment

even though he can’t show it, he genuinely was sorry when he killed the mother and father

underneath the programming, he’s still an empathetic person who loves this family for giving him the only kind of normalcy he’s had in years

when the brother stabs him and he says “you did the right thing. I don’t blame you” he means it, even if he can’t express it with any emotion in his voice

he was aware of the drone he had become but had no way to stop his actions - however his final act was to protect the brother from the guilt of killing him by assuring him that stabbing him was the right thing

I really like how the ending is ambiguous too, so I won’t write all of it, but I like to believe that experience had shaken loose some of the conditioning David was slave to, and now David watches the brother and sister from a distance, making sure they’re okay and jumping out to protect them when they need it terminator-style

[brunhiddensmusings]

argument starters

top ten statements on my mind that might start moderately intellectual debates A- rick and morty still exists primarily as a vehicle to create more funko pop models and most episodes are written for the sole purpose of such B- the movie industry has learned nothing from marvel, not even marvel has learned from marvel. nor have they learned what made the original starwars films beloved, or lord of the rings, despite having literal decades to have studied it and having actual classes in colleges for filmography majors to have figured this out by now. or really learned anything from any good movie on what those movies did well regardless of if they were as big as those trilogies or if they were as off in left field as asking what worked about ‘labrynth’ and what didnt. any movie that ‘fails’ is assumed that the elements of the movies are what made it fail, not that it was poorly made and bad, so the attack will always be on any innovation of the movie or the genre, so that the studio shuns anything that isnt formulaic and safe even if that would also produce a garbage movie. honestly twats on youtube analyzing movies actually -DO- know more about what makes a movie shit or good then the actual executives in charge of multi billion dollar companies and thats both scary and satisfying. B part 2- this may sound like a petty concern but its literally an industry the not only employs millions of people and is worth a severe chunk of the economy but also is involved with shaping culture and whats seen and what is critisized, movies and tv impact the world by changing what people see as normal and guiding their worldview C- naruto, as flawed a thing as it is also has reason people enjoy it, however it could have been made into legitimately impressive and quality content if -naruto himself is not the main focus, he is instead a prominent side charachter -rock lee is the focus, as he actually idealizes the point of the show about hard work being more important then natural ability and isnt as much a twit -just put sasuke in the trash can, close the lid -open the lid briefly to also dump in the weird obsession with bloodlines, birthright superpowers, and reincarnations that make hardwork pointless as everyone has a lineage of superninjawizard powers over and above the normal ninjawizard powers so if your dad wasnt ninja-merlin you arent worth shit D- there is nothing wrong with zombie based media, its just mostly created by people who have no fucking clue how to use zombies in a story D part 2- if your moral is ‘man is the real monster’ i need to slap you E- creepypastas and SCPs are actually a very good practice ground for aspiring writers to toy with ideas within a prompt framework its just that we see predominantly derivative early works of people that hopefully later go on to surpass their bad fanfiction stage and we need to re-approach the style with the ambition to actually do something with the setting and move past the sea of cheap knockoff psycho teen with knife stories and thing that makes people die F- capitalism may be extremely flawed but ‘free market’ concepts can exist without capitalism much like socialism can exist alongside democracy G- avacados, while healthy, are relatively flavorless in addition to being damaging agraculturally due to how water demanding they are despite often being grown in areas with water shortages but are also being seen as a finantial diversification for cartels that typically manage drugs. avacado money actively funds gang violence H- well meaning people unintentionally hurt their cause all the time yet calling them out on it weakens the cause by creating needless infighting I- pie is an acceptable meal option, cheesecake is a pie not a cake, cheesecake might not be the best meal choice but its ironically far from the worst J- kickstarter, youtube, and patreon are amazing ideas that allow creators to actually produce content without relying on pitching a concept to a giant soulless corporation that will inevitably crush any innovation even on the tiny fraction of creators they ever say yes to and will only say yes to pitches that are garbage, however these platforms have taken such massive hits to reputation that they may soon become unusable for that intended purpose. you may feel bitter about mighty number nine style fiascos or ultra fake douchebros who have airhorns on every video as they tell you to smash their button but that bitterness threatens actual opportunities for real creativity and very worthwhile things being made K- shakespeare shouldn't really be given any more reverence then any other author, really no writer should be put on a higher pedistal simply because they were from a certain era of writing. conversely popular current/modern literature isnt inherently worse or better then the ‘classics’ as all the classics were popular/modern at some point in the past which is the only reason knowlege of them survived till to day for people to assume theyre somehow more profound

[downwithwritersblock]

Welcome to part five of our Monthly Guide to Monsters! My dear sweet  @quills-and-golden-ink and I have put together some quick and easy guides to some of the world’s most infamous creatures!

The guide will include: basic background, historical information, abilities, how to defeat them, and portrayals in media. My sets will also always come with Prompts!

For the Month of October, we will be posting two a week! I’m so sorry that I am so late for this one. Life has been a bit hectic. But no matter the date it is posted on, we promise it will be 2 a week for the rest of October, and two a month for the rest of the year. 

*Warning for graphic or gruesome depictions and retelling of violence*

Without further ado, we present to you all, the Monthly Guide To Monsters #5:

Witches

Definition: One who practices the art of witchcraft. Can be good, evil or neutral.

Definition of Witchcraft: There are many meanings or definitions given to witchcraft throughout the world and through many different cultures. In some beliefs, it’s a practice usually used for healing, in others, it’s a magical ability to do mystical things far beyond normal human capacity. In cultural anthropology, Witchcraft is usually defined as the innate ability to cause harm.

Description: Just like the definition, the description of witches changes across cultures. Many legends depict them as being physically indistinguishable from humans. They are often depicted as females in folklore, but more modern media has broken that line. In some (older)media, Witches were depicted as being rather grotesque humanoids, with large noses, warts and straw like hair. (*Disclaimer Edit*: I didnt add this before, because I found it unnecessary, but apparently it is needed. This old depiction of witches comes form anti-semetic propaganda. This description is extremely racist, but is no longer seen in modern media, so I did not think I had to advice people against doing it.)

Abilities: Depending on where you are looking, the abilities of a witch can change drastically. In some cultures, Witchcraft is purely a practice that requires hard work, education, potions or special ingredients, mystical objects and sacred words/spells/incantations. In other cultures, Witches have innate magical abilities where they need only to think of something in order for it to be done. Other cultures, and most forms of media, like to mix these two ideas. So usually Witches have or use the following:

Spells are a kind of incantation with strong magical power(Older spells are often in a foreign or ancient language rather then English, so it’s not uncommon to see a witch portrayed as speaking multiple languages)

Potions made from magical or mystical ingredients and can be used for a large number of things.

Witches are often shown possessing a large amount of knowledge about other magical creatures.

Levitation and flying

Witches are sometimes said to be able to disguise themselves through transformation magic, though the extent of the transformation depends on the lore. Some are just to look ‘more human’, others can fully transform into animals. 

Opening of portals to teleport

Some witches are said to control or communicate with certain aspects of nature, like animals, elements or the weather. 

Necromancy is usually more of a specialized practice, but it is said that some witches can raise the dead.

Demonology is a darker idea behind witches, it’s the idea that witches can and often summon demons from hell or trade their souls with demons in exchange for magic.

Healing. This is a magical art usually given to ‘white witches’, in which a witch is able to use their own or the life force of the wounded to heal some injuries or illnesses.

They are usually immune to human illnesses, diseases, and deaths. They have a stronger immune system and usually a prolonged life.

Witches usually have a familiar, a magical helper usually in the form of an animal.Familiars help witches with spells, potions, collecting ingredients, and even help protect their witch. Familiars are usually voluntary, but sometimes they are humans that have been cursed to live as an animal and serve the witch. Familiars are usually seen as cats, owls/birds, spiders, and rats.

Testing, curing and killing witches: As many know, Witches have a very long and dark history when it comes to their treatment. So many people who were more than likely to be innocent were tortured and killed in extremely gruesome ways.

Testing:

The ‘swim’ test. The victim was often tied with a heavy rope and weight tied around their waist and then tossed into a river or lake. It’s said that an innocent person would sink, but a with would float and bob a long around the surface. Almost every person subjected to this trial drowned to death.

The Prayer test. It’s said that witches were incapable of reciting the holy scripture. A witch on trial might have been expected to recite a line or two, but were expected to do it perfectly without any hesitation or mess ups. If someone failed at this test, it’s most likely because they were either illiterate, or too nervous to talk. It's said that some people even managed to do it without problem, only to have their success be waved off a ‘a trick of the devil’ and for them to be executed anyway.

All witches were said to have a unique mark somewhere on their body that could be in any shape, form or color. Examiners rarely didn't find a ‘witches mark’ because birthmarks, moles, scars, tattoos and sores could all be seen as being the mark of a witch.

The scratch and poke test. So, witches marks were said to be incapable of pain and bleeding. If an examiner could not find a witches mark, they would produce this test, using specialized or dull needles to poke around the accused bodies until they found a spot that produced the painless, bloodless results they desired.

Pressed. The accused would be lied down, and a wooden board would be put over them, then  heavy stones would be placed over it repeatedly until either they confessed to being a witch or they were crushed to death. Either way, they died.

The perfect Weight test. This one wasn't as common as some, but it still existed. Some accused would be weighed against a stack of bibles. If they weighed more than the bible's, they were a witch. If they weighed less than the bible's, they were killed. They had to weigh the exact same amount of the bibles. It was an impossible test to pass.

There was also many tests involving the accused victims, which were always faked as their victims would lie just to have the accused prosecuted.Witch trials were designed to always work in the favor of the ‘victims’, and the ‘Witch’ was almost always killed.

Killing of Witches: Because yeah, those were just the ways that accused were tested for being a witch. If that test didn't kill them, there were many other ways to do it. The most popular ways to kill a witch were:

Hanging

Burned at the staked

Real Life Witches:

Now witchcraft isn't just an old folktale. It’s considered a very real thing in many different cultures. Witchcraft was a real thing that many people actually did study and practice, many people still do. A more modern, well known descendant of witchcraft is the practice or pagan religion of Wicca

Wicca: A more modern pagan religion that while it draws on witchcraft, and has a good deal in common with it, is entirely separate. Many who practice Wicca do not consider themselves a witch, and vice versa.

 Wicca is a belief system, and a way of life that focus on peace, harmony and balance with oneself, humanity, and nature. 

Wicca is nothing like the old tales of witchcraft. The most stark difference being that old witchcraft was said to be to harm others, while Wicca not only avoids harming others, but strictly forbids the harming of innocent beings.

 Wicca is often rather specialized, and changes little features here and there depending on the individual coven or practitioner.

Studying and becoming a Wiccan is not quite as simple as many believe

To find more about the faith(and other sects of witchcraft) I highly suggest browsing around the web, in books, and through any willing Wiccan/witch consultant. Go with multiple sources, not just one or two in order to get the best and most in depth understand of the practice. To be clear, I myself spent many years studying witchcraft and I myself am wiccan. 

Witches in Media: Now over the years there have been a lot, and I mean a lot of media that focuses on witches. I’ve tried to arrange for you all a good range of some of the most popular witches in media.

The Craft(Movie, 1996)

Hocus Pocus(Movie, 1993)

The Harry Potter Series(Books and Movies)

The Blair Witch Project(Movie, 1999)

Practical Magic(Movie,1998)

Halloweentown(1998)

The Crucible(Play by Arthur Miller, Movie; 1996)

Kiki’s Delivery Service(1989)

Bewitched(Movie;2005, TV show 1964-1972)

The Witches of Eastwick(1987)

The Wizard of Oz(Movie:1939)

Wicked(Book1995, Musical 2003)

Charmed(TV show 1998-2006)

Charmed(TV show 2018 reboot airing)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer(TV show, 1990s. Now I included this because although it’s not primarily about Witches, one of the main Charcters: Willow, is one of the most famous witches in modern media)

American Horror Story: Coven (TV show)

The Secret Circle(2011)

Sabrina The Teenage Witch(TV show 1996-2003, and there are rumors of a new,darker retake of sabrina coming soon to netflix)

Prompts:

“What are you gonna do, huh? Curse me again? I’ve spent the last three centuries with you, there’s nothing left for you to threaten me with” 

“Okay so, I think you gave me the wrong shopping list,?I don’t think the local grocery store carries dragons scales or fairy tears? They might have the pigs tongue though...”

“You love that cat more then you love me”                                                     “This cat has been with me, helping and protecting me for the last four hundred and twenty seven years. Of course I love him more then you.”

“We arent all bad you know. Look at me. You know me. I would never, ever hurt you. My magic isnt evil. It doesn't come from anywhere bad or dark. My magic is a gift. It comes from the earth. My magic can help you. Please just trust me about this.”

“You turn one person into a toad one time by accident over six hundred years ago and nobody ever lets you live it down!”

“I’ve been crushed, hung, stabbed, drowned in freezing rivers, crucified and burned alive. So go ahead, try me. Read all the weak, half-assed incantations you want. Call every priest in the state  Torture me all you want. You don’t scare me in the slightest. There’s nothing you can do to break me, I have endured worse for centuries.” 

Hope you enjoy, and find it useful :) 

and if you like my work and would like to support me, consider buying me a coffee?

https://ko-fi.com/I2I1L0Q2

[isthisatlantis]

About me tag!

i was tagged by @penicillinjimin and @jogeumdeo thank u loves 💜💜

1. How tall are you?

I’m 163 cm or 5′4

2. What color and style is your hair?

it’s dark brown, slightly curly, past my shoulders and i usually have it in a ponytail or bun

3. What color are your eyes?

brown

4. Do you wear glasses?

I don’t need them but sometimes i wear fake ones for the fashion of it 

5. Do you wear braces?

nope and never have

6. What’s your fashion sense?

very varied, lots of hoodies, high waisted jeans, long skirts or dresses in the summer, t shirts

7. Full name?

Nina (I dont have a middle name and my last name i’m not ever gonna try, it’s always mispronounced)

8. Where were you born?

capital of slovenia, ljubljana

9. What kind of student are you?

a very stressed one jdhfhdfjd perfectionist, amibitious if it’s something i’m passionate abt, very visual, i get good grades and have very nice organized notes (i’m pretty proud of them)

10. Do you enjoy school?

I do but again if im passionate abt the subjects... i didnt like my last college major so i didnt enjoy it much but i’m gonna be doing a different major now and i’m looking forward to it a lot. overall tho i still like school bc i love learning and i need the structure it gives my life 

11. Favorite subject

economics (funny bc I was studying biotech)

12. Favorite TV Shows

good omens, the good fight, the blacklist, boston legal, major crimes, sanctuary, stargate, the x files, endeavour (these are the ones i rewatch regularly)

13. Favorite Movies

x men: first class, captain america: winter soldier, venom, van helsing, maurice, wilde, uhhhh i cant think of any more but there def are more

14. Favorite Books

i have to say good omens and maurice again, also sherlock holmes (any story i love all of them!!)

15. Favorite Past-time

listening to music, drawing, watching tv shows, bujo-ing, sometimes i like to cook, also pretenting i’m getting my life together, thats always fun

16. Do you have any regrets?

nothing major, maybe not staying in touch with a few particular people from my past 

17. Dream Job

well im gonna be studying criminology so something in that field

18. Would you ever get married?

the idea of marrying my dream girl sounds appealing but in real life it’s just a whole lot of legal stuff that i don’t wanna get into

19. Would you like to have kids?

no, but i’m not gonna say for sure that i’ll never change my mind

20. Do you like shopping?

i have major spender guilt so not really but i love fashion and clothes so also yes...but only if the stores arent crowded

21. Scariest Nightmare You’ve Had

i don’t remember ever having a really scary nightmare

22. Any enemies?

i somehow fall out with ppl pretty fast but i never actually know why jkdfkajhf none are like plotting againts me tho i hope

23. Any significant others?

just my best friends, theyre significant 🥺

24. Do you believe in miracles?

yes i do, because by some miracle im still out here living a pretty decent life

25. How are you?

right now im pretty good actually

I’m tagging @wtfhoeseok @pjmlog @lolacouldnotcareless @pjmskosmos @hosnack @taesseok @taetae-euphoria @vjimin @yoonminos only if u wanna do it 💜

[hbwidfimoufq-blog]

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[tylerwritez]

Saturday, June 19 2021

I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.

My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning

Hes so hot tho oh. My god.

Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.

Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.

We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.

Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables

I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢

I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.

3:38 p.m.  sat june 19th

I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.

I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(

Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(

Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.

The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.

But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.

I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.

Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/

I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))

Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.

I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡

UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet

I'm definently over my cal limit today...

        Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero  cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.

Jeez, its raining out.

And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.

Its 4:11 p.m. now.

Its now 7:56 p.m.

I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.

Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.

Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻‍♂️ whatcha gonna do.

Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.

Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?

I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:

1. I cant

2. I don't trust it

Anwyays yeah.

My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.

ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.

Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.

My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.

Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.

Whatever. I'll sort it out.

My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.

Something. Which isnt nothing.

But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"

THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.

But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad.  But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.

Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.

I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.

Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.

Urgency.

I have a lot of stuff to do.

Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.

I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.

Regret from my binge... I better get home.

You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.

Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.

Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...

I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.

Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.

But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?

I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT

I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time

1. Sucking dick

2. having MY junk sucked

3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)

So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.

He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.

THATS HOT ISNT IT.

I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.

But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...

I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.

So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.

But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.

but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.

I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...

That's my plan, anyways.

I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.

I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING

Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.

I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt  justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.

Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.

Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.

I can sorta say whatever I'd like.

It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.

I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.

Maybe I am in love double.

Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.

DAMN.

Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.

Then I'll update yall.

11:51 p.m.

Hey guys I'm back with an update.

I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking  about  random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.

I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.

I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.

I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.

Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?

Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(

I dont want him to lose interest in me though.

.... its 1:56 a.m.

Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.

Goodnight, tumblr.

-Jude

[gksunflowers-blog]

signs as people I know (check moon and sun signs)

aries: passionate about finding new ways to show love and create love with others, willing to put themselves down so others feel better, warm hugs, prefers music without words because they understand the message better without words telling them, will drive you to IHOP at midnight because you forgot to eat dinner, they care about literally fucking everyone, easily accept that change is unavoidable, their exuberant energy can seem very intimidating, outgoing, try to do the right thing, excessive with literally everything (its okay ily), ardent, hate waiting for shit to happen, want the quickest and easiest way out of everything, their passion can be destructive and actually detrimental.

taurus: art is abundant in their safe place, trying their best tbh, will put aside time that they need in order to help someone else, dislikes close minded people, sleeping prolly, has music too loud but they will tell you its not loud enough, thinks a shit ton about wether or not people like them but will never tell you that, actually very confident people, dont really care about what people think of them but also cares a shit ton about what people think of them, so fucking loyal and expect nothing in return, can complain a lot actually, loyaloyaloyal, hate it when others see them cry, tries to ignore their problems because they dont have enough time to deal with them (get it together, hoes), need more time for self-reflection

gemini: can make anyone easily laugh, knows whats in and whats out, veryyyy generous people, pretty smiles, has good music taste because they listen to all types of music, relatable, seems very unattached to reality at times, doesn;t give up something/someone if they really love them, will cook for you willingly, they are too cool for drama but typically start drama, will spend their whole night talking to you about future goals they have and the most random shit, life of the party, if you want to instantly laugh hang around a gemini, don;t consider other people in their decisions sometimes, will remove themselves of negative situations because there is nothing they hate more than negative people;

cancer: hold a very warm and gentle soul, can push people away because they tend to be very possessive but that is how they show love, they need a two year break, tries really hard to be relatable, let people walk over them without realizing, they love to pamper themselves to show love to themselves, you feel safe in their home, trusts people really easily, can get very broken and in a bad place if you betray them so please don;t honestly, when they;re angry it can show physically (red face, angry tears, etc), can be very dramatic, try to help others with confidence and self-esteem, will be there for you even if you arent there for them, oblivious to shitty people sometimes which results in trust issues;

leo: can be independent when they are comfortable in the situation, want the best for everyone, will defend you when you’re not there, will block you if you annoy them, just want someone to chill with, flirty!!!!, easily get excited over the smallesttttt things, knows when to change the subject, beautiful souls, these are the type of people you should go to last minute plans with (concerts, road trips, etc), just wanna have fun and look amazing while doing it, need/deserve love and attention from loved ones, gives you food if you forgot your lunch at home, makes jokes out of their pain, pure beauts with good hearts that will try to believe in the best of everyone, not afraid to be petty, main hoes.

virgo: will try to avoid being honest with you because they don’t want to hurt you, is taken advantage of too often, will bring you a cookie if youre having a bad day, courteous, organized, the person that always smiles at strangers just because, not really sure what they want out of life, can be very whiny, always want to be doing something to pretend like they have it together, if they are your friend please take advantage of how supportive they are to you, will very randomly give you compliments that can literally save your life because they;re always very thoughtful, amazing listeners, capable of fulfilling their dreams if they believe in themselves too, having boundaries is okay and you deserve to respect them if you want to;

libra: passionate about making others lives better, cuddle bugs, energetic, gives their time to anyone who actually listens to them, thinking outside of the box, probably really pretty, kind souls but a tough exterior, wears sweats to the store because who honestly cares, makes jokes with people on line at checkout, they probably have a tradition to cook breakfast on saturdays, knows how to look good and feel good, once they find their self-worth not a fucking bull-dozer can take it down, please try to fight them on facebook because you will lose, gentle people and will try to make you feel at home (problem: they don;t know how), quiet but their minds are spinning, need to learn to say no;, stop worrying about what others think of you (who gives a shit??), hate silence and being alone, queens.

scorpio: very honest but also very petty without shame, fun and funny, blasts old jams in their car while trying their very best to avoid accidents, hates high school and loves college, just want to find a group that they fit in with, will try their best to make your birthday amazing I swear, open minded to literally everything honestly, critical friend, will tease you about something that happened five years ago, a total nerd about things they really like, very smart and efficient if they are motivated by their passion, unique style in all ways, beautiful minds, they can come across as two-faced but they are very indecisive when it comes to opinions, embraces new experiences, secretive;

sagittarius: flirty and prolly is dating someone right now, wants everyone to be happy but forgets about making themselves happy, cooks pancakes for you at midnight on a Wednesday night, will almost cry but then remembers a funny video they saw and starts to laugh, hates themselves but shows themselves a lot of love, makes jokes out of their pain, lovable, look intimidating but are actually very welcoming, hides emotions like a pro, very optimistic about literally everything, if they get bored or annoyed they will move on from you, need to believe in themselves, don;t express gratitude but they really should, seemingly perfect(?), can sometimes compare themselves to others in order to make themselves feel better (stop.)

capricorn: doesnt study (yes I'm onto you bitch) for tests but still gets amazing grades, can be very fake but honest with people they are close to, traditional without trying, will be there for you, they are very observant and will remember if you did something that meant a lot to them, honestly needs a hug and affection a lot more than they say, takes long hot showers to make up for the lack in physical affection, lovely people, good people to sit with in the back of the movie theater so that you can talk the whole time, will accidentally spill tea and start drama, trying their best, work well with people who have a good drive for things they are passionate about,doesnt express emotion unless they cant hold it in any longer

aquarius: so fucking funny, constantly trying to be a better person in order to make up for the shitty world, watches documentaries about the sex industry, sticks to their morals, thinks a lot about life and the meaning of all of this, thinks (knows) the government is hiding something, will kill you if you hurt an animal, super chill and loves music, passionate, indecisive to the extreme, smokes weed to see if food tastes differently, interesting individuals, if they don't open up to you it's because they don't know how, if you mean a lot to them they will try to protect you from the world, is hard on you because they want you to succeed, moves from one passion to the other (you guys are super adaptable if need be), an amazing friend if they choose to put effort into the friendship

pisces: very confused about life and that makes them very sad, easily unstable, cries about failing a lot, not judge mental, hates it when people accuse them of something they didnt do, beautiful people with caring hearts that let in people who shouldnt be let in, offer you a hug if they see you upset in any way, wants people to like them, trying to find who they are, tend to let people laugh at their pain, shuts down their feelings when they feel attacked, doesnt purposely hurt anyone, will change themselves in order to be accepted,these people lose themselves too easily, once they find out who they are they are very stable and more content

[introisms]

*   ☆  ◞  PARK CHAEYOUNG. DEMIGIRL. SHE/THEY.  ◟  wait, wasn’t that RYAN KIM? they’re a/n TWENTY TWO year old SOPHMORE, hailing from STATEN ISLAND, NEW YORK. i heard they’ve chosen to study MATHEMATICS AND STATS MAJOR while living at KAPPA THETA XI . word around campus is that they’re LOYAL & GOOFY but also quite OBLIVIOUS & LONGWINDED. if you happen to see them walking to class with their earbuds in, they’re probably listening to LOTTERY by KALI UCHIS. ( PINTEREST )

bio

gifted kids who kind of became fuck ups later in life make some noise!! yeah if you were a casual friend of ryan’s you probably wouldnt know it, that they are actually insanely smart. its only in books really, they’re super oblivious to anything in the real world yeah its definitely gotten them walked over in the passed. it wouldnt be hard to use them since they mean well and get attached to people a little bit too easy. stupid himbo

theyre part of the earth club even though they accidently killed their plants in the past from over watering them, its kind of sad honestly that they want to have a green thumb so badly but they literally wilt around them. yeah they definitely are a little bit of a vsco girl - hydroflask that they definitely stole and a metal straw that folds out of their hemp backpack.

theyre very honest about if they like you are not while theyre nice and friendly if they dont like you or theyre mad at you they will not hold their tongue and they do not care if you like them. honestly they do have a very couldn’t care less attitude towards a lot of things. theyre just not affraid to speak their mind no matter the situation.

yup stealing, ryan comes from a upperclass family so this probably started when they were younger and their parents would withold their allowance but it kind of turned into a really bad habit. theyve gotten into a lot of trouble for it like actual cops once but they batted their pretty eyes and got away with nothing but community service. they sneak into concerts, movies, dine and dash resturants constantly and no walmart or target or convenience store is safe from their sticky fingers. yes this includes test answers ;)

theyre a middle child and it defintiely shows, their dumbass chaotic nature was definitely born out of being neglected and forgotten about. living in a shadow wasnt the greatest for them and then not even getting the attention of being a baby for long by their mom and dad. they play it off as just being goofy and playful most of the time but they get up to some serious trouble all the time.

ryan is longwinded by far - they could talk forever it makes it easy for them to be an advocate for what they love which they do all the time. whether it be from the campy 80s horror movies that they love or art that they love to do. yes it can get annoying does this enby ever take a breath? it truly doesnt seem like they do. sometimes you may just want to ask them to stop talking just to get a bit of peace and quiet.

theyre president of kappa theta xi and they do take that a bit seriously they didnt think they would at first really they only joined it because their mother was an alumni to the house but all the way down to the 68% classiness they embody the house. yes their room is a wreck and on the weekends they’re known to get messy and maybe tping and graffiting one of the fraternities when theyre drunk but thats all part of the experience.

ryan is on a few sports teams as well, soccer and lacrosse they were never too much of a sports kid growing up but they used to go to soccer camp as a teen and honestly that was one of the first times their ass made out with a girl so it holds a special place in their gay sentimental heart and lacrosse was something that they picked up along the way from knowing some of those on the team.

theyre demi girl and and have no super preference between their pronouns as long as you are not refering to them as a woman or girl or feminizing them that is fine with them. they are very secure in their gender identity and while they definitely align with being femme sometimes they refuse to be seen as such. family doesnt know and they never have intention of telling them as they were raised in a very religious and catholic home but ryan is so friendly and open they are easy to share their story with and usually starts it off by saying gender is a myth created by the church to stop you from eating the communion wafers.

they pretty much drink only black coffee energy drinks and on mondays those are usually spiked in the morning yes that means theyre not paying attention in morning stat classes but is that really that big of a deal? to them no even though its made their grades slip in the past but so does them staying up all night trying to solve cold cases and listening to ghost story podcasts.

theyre entire wardrobe is only black jeans and platform boots and shirts with the ugliest prints on them. yes they are pretty much a gay goth dad on vacation that is their ideal aesthetic. during the colder months its worn denim jackets on top of that and call it a day.

terrible for speaking first and thinking later they joke constantly about things like eating dirt that their fish brain is pleased. theyre a bit strange but they try to make it come across as endearing as possible. the things they say arent always jokes some of it is very real. this also goes for impulsive decisions like doing someones stick and poke tattoo at a party or wanting to go bungee jumping.

they come across cocky and narcissistic at times, saying that they are a god and cant be killed theyve convinced themselves that theyre pretty much untouchable. sometimes being up your own ass is not always a good thing but truly who is going to clock them? some one might have too.

connections:

exes ( any gender ) though ryan is mostly into coochie they have and are not against dating c*ck owners. ryan is the type to be infatuated fast and then get bored and get over it just as quickly so i would say theyve been a serial dater in that respect. this probably doesnt always happen so we could definitely say your muse broke up with them.

childhood friends for the new york area theyve lived in multiple different boroughs of new yorks mostly manhattan and staten island from moving here and there. so definitely could have known them when they were younger.

camp friends. they went to soccer camp where they had their first kiss with a girl and math camp where they got lost in the woods and bible camp where they definitely ate a page of the bible LMDSLMSDLDSLM so that would be fun.

party friends they definitely party a lot ryan is known to get a little bit too wild and do stupid shit and really needs someone to make sure they dont hurt themselves. this also goes for not just party but they dont sleep a lot so this could go for someone who goes out to get food with them at like three am and hang out at a park eating it

siblings!! they have two siblings an older and a younger and i would suuuuuuuper love them please!

someone who they tutor and have just stolen answer to exams for them they dont always ask for payment but they do ask for ious.

snuck them into a concert with them and maybe they drank when they were too young and ended up almost in trouble with the cops because they got caught. or just generally they dine and dash together or movie hop or go and do dumb shit together.

crushes they can be mutual or one sided i really dont mind. like i said before ryan kind of gets crushes really easily so i super dont mind who is on either side of the crush.

they stole your muses bike and they caught them LSMDLSMDLMDSLM

they stayed up one night and tried to fully solve a cold case even went to the library so late that they got kicked out. it was a long night full of energy drinks and crazy theories. they still do this sometimes now.

pen pals theyve written letters to each other all the time and still do even now. sometimes ryan send them really weird things like paper dolls but theyre equations for them to hang up on their walls or just little letters that say sweet things in them.

honestly anything works your muse could even hate them because they think ryan is kind of annoying or fake because they have a tendency to be overly nice and friendly to everyone.

tinder date/ set ups that either led to something or didnt

good friend who hacked their instagram one night and started responding to dms just funny doesnt have to been anything crude. they do it to each other some nights like just hang out

hookups. good or bad. one night stand or on going.

or anything im down for brainstorming!! :D

[hbirauorrzfm-blog]

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[brianmaysbread]

I got tagged by @ure-gonna-loveme-when-u-seeme and ily thank you <3

Rules: Answer the 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: idk my mom or sister

3. Text message: me group of friens

4. Song: God save the queen by Sex Pistols

5. Time you cried: idk yesterday considering i cry everyday i dont count man

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i d ont even kiss people.

8. Been cheated on: huh

9. Lost someone special: probably

10. Been depressed: boi!

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah son

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. baby/sky blue (their almost tthe same arent they)

13. black

14. orange

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: probably

17. Laughed until you cried: yeah and ily @ anyone who did that

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah - nice deets m8 👌

19. Met someone who changed you: idek probably did but doesn't notice

20. Found out who your friends are: probably but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Kissed someone on you Facebook list: no.

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: half of the list.

23. Do you have any pets?: a few fishes and 2 dead turtles(yall forever in my hearts)

24. Do you want to change your name?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dont want to deal with people calling my deadname but if i could i would like my name with a v instead tho.

25. What did you do for your last birthday?: additional mathematics examination <3

26. What time did you wake up?: 11:30 am lol

27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: coming home from prom  💅 💅 💅 💅

28. Name something you can’t wait for: idk to go to uk and punch me sister ??lmAO

29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: 10-20 minutes ago?

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life? wish i wouldnt think of death in every single inconvenience

31. What are you listening to right now: 聖結石Saint feat.聖嫂Dodo - 真的不想嘴 (i l e git just pasted this from my youtube i Cant type chINESE)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: o-levels

34. Most visited website: tumblr ; facebook ; youtube

?????? MORE QUESTIONS

35. Mole/s: knee and arm

36. Mark/s: i mean theres those scars

37. Childhood dream: teacher aww

38. Haircolor: black

39. Long or short hair: sort of in the middle tbvh

40. Do you have a crush on someone: unless dead people/old rockstars dont count- pretty much no.

41. What do you like about yourself?: thats a hard one i need to think about for years hmmmmm.

42. Piercings: no

43. Bloodtype: O or A

44: Nicknames: vini/vinny (anyone who calls me this i will love you forever) ; win-win (??) ; pablo( the greatest name ) ; idk theres the rest are insult names and shizzles lol

45. Relationship status: in relationship with sadness

46. Zodiac: scorpio

47. Pronouns: she/them/her/they

48. Favorite TV show: rick and morty is mood

49. Tattoos: someday

50. Right or Left hand?: right

51: Surgery: no

52. Hair dyed a different color: nah

53. Sport: tracks is fun i guess

54. Vacation: here there everywhere

55. Pair of trainers: um, , ,, i still wished to undestarnd what this mean but like yes. 4. i dont know.

MORE??

56. Eating: instant noodles

57. Drinking:

59. I’m about to: i really want to draw me OCs digitally for absolutely no reason.

61. Waiting for: the time ill start studying ( ◞･౪･)

62. Want: move out someday

63. Get married: to 3 different cats at once.

64. Career: is there a crying shrugging emoji cause if there is thats the answer for this question cause i dotn fucking know man the future stresses me out oh wait hang on ¯\_(; ◡ ;)_/¯ 

65. Hugs or kisses: both are cute.

66. Lips or eyes: lips ?

67. Shorter or taller: idk man but im always shorter than everyone so taller

68. Older or younger: both ??

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach ? what is nice arms mean like do they mean as in biceps ? ? ? (but even so stomachs i guess have a nice digestion system too )

71. Sensitive or loud: loud cs im the sensitive one.

72. Hookup or relationship: both

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker but knows when to hesitate/knows their limit etc idk

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: lowkey yes but idk i got them back again anyway

77. Turned someone down: yeah indirectly,

78. Sex on the first date: cool

79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah probably and i higkey want to apologize but i never did unblocked them so great,.

80. Had your heart broken: probably.

81. Been arrested: no

82. Cried when someone died: yeah but dude faked their death and ,, ???

83. Fallen for a friend:  at some point i probbaly did but everything never works in my life so

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

84. Yourself: trying me best.

85. Miracles: sure. i hope that miracle of me getting good grades in add maths come someday so in the meantime i hope yes.

86. Love at first sight: cool.

87. Santa Clause: boy i wis h

88. Kiss on the first date: sure

89. Angels: hnhnhjjj nah.

Other:

90. Current best friend’s name: idk i dont consider people best friends but i consider them favourite friends which are the same thing but idk pat,sarmilla,hhhhhhhhh, i dont know i love my friends.

91. Eye color: dark brown

92. Favorite movie: nothing comes up in the moment other than a huge list of harold lloyd movies. oh wait shit man uh yeah i pretty much like nowhere boy (even fuck if it isnt a john lenon bopic its actually still decent)

idk im too tired to tag anyone have have fun reading ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[queenofdumbfuckery]

See this is beautiful in general but I personally think it's funny how everyone keeps this going

Goncharov (1973)

Oh don’t mind me im just doing some cinematography art studies of my favourite Katya moments ~

[thestormlightnetwork]

this is so fucking beautiful

Goncharov (1973)

Oh don’t mind me im just doing some cinematography art studies of my favourite Katya moments ~

[persephonesveil]

#goncharov#goncharov 1973#katya goncharov#artists on tumblr#art#mirre arts#unreality#fan art#This movie is fake and no these arent actually studies#ngl pretending i was doing studies from movie stills was itself a challenge#also please appreciate this idk if ill have time or energy for more fanarts of this fake movie Pasting OPs tags back in (badly, but it keeps cutting them off otherwise)

Goncharov (1973)

Oh don’t mind me im just doing some cinematography art studies of my favourite Katya moments ~