#This is the exact kind of freaky I need

[pukefactory]

can i pls have looey x reader who is very kind and nice but is revealed to be a super freaky perv... only if you want though.. reader who is the definition of "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets" PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ SENSATIONS ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

➜ Summary: A compilation of headcanons featuring Looey and a flirty reader

➜ Character(s): Looey (Dandy’s World)

➜ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

➜ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

➜ Image Credits: Qwelver

✧ Looey fell for you because you were sweet, kind, and gentle—an absolute angel. You were the type to assist with his circus troupe, support the other Toons, and offer compliments without hesitation, making everyone feel at ease. A true breath of fresh air, bringing him a sense of calm he didn’t realize he needed.

✧ He never suspected a thing. Not when you giggled at his silly tricks. Not when you held his hand just a little too long. Not even when you leaned in close to whisper in his ear, your voice thick with syrupy sweetness and just a hint of seduction. To him, you were simply affectionate—perhaps a bit overly so at times, but he didn’t mind in the slightest. If anything, he adored the attention.

✧ The first time you slip up, he thinks he misheard you. Maybe it was a joke? A strange one, sure, but hey, he’s not one to judge. But then it keeps happening. Subtle, lingering touches. Offhand remarks laced with suggestion. The kind of smile that makes his face feel far hotter than it should. That’s when it dawns on him—you’re hinting at something.

✧ When the realization finally clicks, Looey becomes a nervous wreck. He starts stuttering around you more, avoiding eye contact, trying (and failing) to pretend he doesn’t know exactly what you meant by that comment. It’s not that he doesn’t like it—oh, he likes it way too much. And that makes everything worse.

✧ You, of course, find his reactions adorable. He puffs up like a balloon whenever you tease him, only to deflate the moment he realizes you’re serious. His face flushes a deep red, his hands fidget anxiously with the hem of his sweater, and his whole body seems two seconds away from floating off entirely with how flustered he becomes.

✧ It gets to the point where even the others start noticing. “You okay there, Looey?” “You look a little… tense.” “Why do you keep squeaking every time they walk by?” He’ll laugh nervously and try to brush it off, but you? You just smile. Innocently. As if you’re not the exact reason for his internal crisis.

✧ He tries to turn the tables on you once. Just once. He thinks, Maybe if I flirt back, it won’t be so bad! It immediately backfires. You don’t just take it in stride—you double down, and Looey practically short-circuits, reduced to a mess of red blush and nervous, sweaty palms. Yeah. Never again.

✧ Despite his embarrassment, he secretly loves it. He’d never admit it, but he enjoys how effortlessly you fluster him. The way you make him feel weightless, like he’s floating even when his feet are planted firmly on the ground. It’s exhilarating. Terrifying. Addictive. A rush unlike anything else, filling his stomach with a swarm of ticklish butterflies.

✧ When the two of you are alone, he becomes even more jumpy. He knows that’s when you drop the innocent act entirely, when the soft-spoken sweetness morphs into something else. Something dangerously flirtatious. Something he definitely shouldn’t be so excited about—but can’t help anticipating, even if your true self makes him a little nervous.

✧ At the end of the day, you’re still his sweet, kind (and slightly terrifying) partner, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything. Even if you make his heart feel like it’s going to pop like a balloon every time you lean in and whisper something sinfully suggestive in his ear.

[arandomao3user]

Hi! I've been loving your Timbern stuff lately and your pregnant Tim stuff cracked me up. Ever since I've been thinking about both of them suddenly realizing that they are NOT READY. Imagine Tim waking up in the middle of the night and shaking Bern awake, and Bern is like 'Tim, what's going on? Where's the fire?' and Tim grips Bernard and literally shakes him 'We live on a boat'

'Yes'

'We live on a boat in Gotham harbor. We're going to have a newborn on a boat in Gotham harbor. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ROGUES USE THIS PLACE. WHAT IF MR. FREEZE ATTACKS'

Followed by frenzied apartment hunting in the middle of the night.

Just the two of them having various realizations that they have so much they need to do. But with the added fun of bat paranoia, Gotham shenanigans, Bernard's freakiness, and Tim's general everything.

You know, first time parent panic and prep, multiplied by about 100

Funny you mention this, because I want to make it clear to all my moots that I have a friend who I talk to about ALL my Tim and Bernard/ Batfam angst and they actually destroyed TimBern mpreg in the best way when we were talking about how breedable Tim looks in a very platonic way, like... Some people just look breedable.

So, anyways, through our conversation I discovered that Tim getting pregnant is THE angst.

Like, Tim getting pregnant by accident because he and Bear are freaks™ and Tim immediately is like "I. Am not ready. I just found myself, I am still finding myself." Combined with the "Who am I without Robin/ Being a vigilante?" And feeling forced to move to an apartment away from the Marina and the family he's made there, but he can't consider abortion not because he's against it or doesn't want to but because he feels the need to punish himself, he HAS to punish himself for his own decisions and recklessness and when he tells Bernard, Bernard is so happy. Happier than Tim has seen him in so, so long... Bernard sees it as a chance to start something new and exciting with Tim, to be better than his parents were, to be a Dad.

So, Tim stays quiet and goes along with it all and loses his autonomy and parts of himself and he feels halfway insane by the end, but then the baby comes, and he sees this beautiful baby girl who looks like Bernard and has his eyes, and yet he feels no attachment. If anything, he kinda resets his own baby, and he hates himself so bad for that, because he chose this, he did this! So why isn't he happy?

He plays pretend, he isn't a bad parent, he's loving and gentle and kind, but it was obvious he wasn't okay. Steph is the first to confront him, he waves her concerns off because he "Is fine." He insists. He's not. The sight of his own daughter makes him sick. He didn't even hold her in the hospital, and Bernard knows, he's not an idiot, but he's balancing college with double majors and being a new parent, his fears surrounding it, and he's tired and can't find the words or right way to confront Tim.

Tim is drowning. He feels alone all over again, he isn't cleared yet to go back to work at W.E. or as a vigilante and getting out isn't enough, he wants the life he was building back, so, so bad...

It all comes to a standstill when Darla, his baby, his daughter, won't settle down and fall asleep and Tim shouts at her to "Just stop crying!" And he feels like a monster, he feels sick, he feels violently ill and breaks down till Bernard takes Darla and gets her to sleep before he comforts Tim. They talk, and Bernard tells him that it's gonna be okay, and Tim doesn't believe him at first.

It takes a therapist and time, talking, open communication, but eventually? Eventually Tim sits in his apartment with his baby girl, and for the first time he looks at her and thinks "I love you." And he stops seeing her as a symbol of his losses, and instead a symbol of his gains, and he believes that everything is gonna be okay...

(Brought to you by Chara Jame's angst corner! And the unpublished fic I wrote about this exact scenario—)

[pannman]

ACE ALASTOR WEEK DAY 5 FREAKY FRIDAY

I don't know if I've written smut for Alastor before but I tried this time to make it clear he is interested in exploring his kink and that's the main reason

Alastor x AFAB reader

TW: power play, bondage, edging, dry humping, threats, mild swearing, biting/cannibalism

You could cut the tension with a knife. You and Alastor had a rivalry almost as intense as he did with Lucifer. You loved to push each other's buttons. Alastor pushed your buttons because he found it amusing. You pushed his because he was an asshole. Luckily being a resident of the hotel made you almost untouchable. Almost.

It all started when you decided to test his limits once again. The rest of the hotel had left to go one some bonding trip. You couldn't to go because you couldn't get time off your job. You had no idea how Angel managed to. Alastor simply did not wish to go. So the two of you had the entire hotel to yourselves for a week. A week where you could get under his skin and not have Charlie and Vaggie scolding you for instigating it

There he was in the kitchen. He was busying himself cooking some kind of stew. He noticed you but didn't look your way. "If you're hoping for a bowl you're unfortunately not getting any" he said in a cheery tone. "You probably put people in it anyway" you brushed him off. "On the contrary, I prefer shrimp in my jambalaya. It's my mother's recipe and that's how she always made it." He stated. "Well your mother made you and look how bad that turned out" you insulted him. "You'll do best not to speak ill of my mother" he warned. He stared at you menacingly before going back to chopping vegetables with his back turned.

You snuck on up to the jambalaya and grabbed a spoon. You took a big sip. "Hmm. Needs salt" you said and reached for the salt. You felt a clawed hand grab your wrist with brute force. Before you knew it you were pinned to the wall. "You will not do anything to my jambalaya or you will learn just how much torture I can fit in a week. I can't kill you or Charlie won't be needing my services any longer but don't think that means I can't get away with making you deeply regret your actions. How long would you like to go without any limbs?

This is the first time he had threatened you and you had no one around to protect you. What were you thinking? You'd grown too cocky. "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I promise I'll leave you alone! Please!" You suddenly noticed something pressing into your leg. You looked down and saw exactly what you expected but feared. He was getting off on this...

Alastor seemed to realize about the exact same time that you did. He immediately turned beat red and released you backing away in panic. His smile was still present yet he looked shook. He immediately disappeared into the shadows leaving you alone in the kitchen to question on your own what the hell just happened. Did-did he have a thing for you? Was this why he targeted you? Although he never once flirted or made a remark about your body. He never seemed to showed interest in others that way.

For the next two days you didn't see him once. Until finally on the third day you sat on your bed listening to music and he suddenly appeared. You pulled out your headphones and questioned him. "What are you doing here?" You didn't sound scared of him even though you were terrified during your last encounter with him. "I came to apologize for... ahem.. the-the incident on Monday." He sounded so flustered. To be honest you never thought of him that way but now that you thought about it, he was kinda hot.

"It's alright, if that's all you wanted all you had to do was say so. This isn't kindergarten, you don't bully someone you fancy" you told him he looked absolutely flabbergasted at your words. "What!?! No! I'm not interested in you in such a way. I don't even feel that way about others. That was until earlier... it was just... seeing you in that position... feeling the power I had over you... it made me feel different. I... I tried to stimulate myself afterwards but I got no gratification from it. As usual." He grew more and more embarrassed by his own confession.

You may have misread his feelings. You were pretty sure you knew what was up with him now. "Do you think you might have a kink? You know a particular item or element that gets you off?" You asked. He turned almost as red as his suit and hair. "Perhaps..." He didn't want to admit it that was clear. "What you described sounds like a power play kink" you explained. "And its okay to have a kink by the way. Lots of people have kinks. And not everyone has to pursue them. If you don't want to explore it further you don't have to. I'm sorry I misread your intentions. Although that does mean that you were just being a dick." You sort of laughed at that last part. You were in a weird situation now with him and you weren't sure how you felt about him anymore

"Perhaps I could explore it a bit. Although I'd prefer to be with someone I know. Maybe... you would indulge me..." He was actually considering it! You loved the idea but still didn't want him to pressure himself. "Are you sure? It's totally okay if you don't want to or you wanna wait until you're more comfortable" you asked. He nodded. "I want to give it a try... but I do not wish to be naked in front of anyone" he admitted. "You don't have to be. We'll take it slow. Just do what feels right." You replied. "So... would now be okay?" He asked. "I ain't got any plans" you chuckled

He snapped his fingers and tendrils shot out of him pinning you to the bed. Your hands and legs were pulled out restraining you. He climbed on top of you and straddled your hips. "You will not touch me unless I tell you to" he said now with a firm tone. "Yes sir" you responded. "I like that. Call me sir from now on" he commanded. You felt yourself grow more wet at the sound of his firm voice. He removed your pants and underwear quickly

One of his tentacles released your hand. "Pleasure yourself" he ordered. So you did. You played with your clit. Messaging it and flicking it. You felt the knot build in your stomach. You twitched at yourself becoming close. You were to the brink when he suddenly ordered you to stop. You whimpered but did as he said. Your building orgasm faded with absolutely agony. You could feel him getting hard once again. "Resume" he said. And you did

He forced you to edge yourself multiple times, growing harder at the control he had over you. Finally when you thought you couldn't take it anymore... "you may cum now" you brought yourself to the edge once more and pushed yourself over it. Your orgasm came crashing in waves and was so intense you were throbbing after. That's when you felt him grinding against your thigh

He humped away at you while his teeth sunk into your neck. You cried out in pain and pleasure. He lapped up the blood that surfaced before biting you again right next to it. He continued to grind his boner into your thigh while having himself a snack until he came. It soaked through his pants and onto your leg. Finally he grew bold and finished off with his lips meeting yours in a sloppy kiss. You could taste the metallic flavor of your own blood as his tongue intertwined with yours. But you did not dare take charge with the kiss, allowing him do the work in case this counted as touching him

Finally he withdrew and gazed into your eyes. "I must admit it was quite nice to feel this intimate with someone. The closeness, the trust, the taste of you. It was all quite pleasurable. I'll be happy if you would let me explore some more another time" he said

"Absolutely... sir" you responded. Suddenly you felt him start to get hard again. You would be lying if you said you didn't want to go at least a couple more rounds. He practically read your mind. "Well I suppose I still ought to teach you a lesson from your actions in the kitchen earlier. We've got five more days before Charlie and the others return. I suppose as far as torture goes this will have to do"

You weren't leaving that bed for a while

[saltstarzz]

“ 𝐋𝐚𝐩𝐝𝐨𝐠. ”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: cultleader!geto x AMAB reader, SFW + NSFW. SFW: dark themes + stalking + manipulation + brainwashing + extremist ideology + cult activities + violence + mentions of violence + minor gore + possessiveness. NSFW: cock warming + leashes + extreme edging + BDSM + brief spit play + slapping + bondage + riding (power bottom!geto) 𝐚/𝐧: this one is hella freaky, and god bless bottom!geto.

・❥・ 𝐒𝐅𝐖

it starts off normal at first.

let’s say you’re like a grade two sorcerer who’s never even heard of cultleader!geto. you’re strong enough to be considered a sorcerer, but not strong enough to be respected by your peers. people don’t outright call you weak, but the suggestions to consider becoming an assistant manager are hard to ignore. you fight curses non-stop, and still can’t get any respect…

now imagine this handsome young man with the prettiest black hair and sharp golden eyes comes to you one day, singing your praises. you’re so distracted by his smile and the way he carries himself that you don’t even notice the groups of strangers that have been tailing you for close to an hour now.

“you’d be better off with me, where your talents would truly be appreciated.” and just like that, he’s got you hook like and sinker.

cultleader!geto has a way of making you feel special. hushed little whispers and tasks he entrusts specifically to you. quick smiles and sweet praises. you’re feeling so appreciated that you hardly even notice how he’s begun calling you ��lapdog”.

and about those tasks… oh boy. you find very quickly that cultleader!geto has no interest in peace when it comes to “monkeys”, or non-sorcerers. one minute he’s preaching to a crowd, and the next there’s a room full of corpses aside from the three or four sorcerers who might have been able to fight him off. they’re usually indoctrinated and cultleader!geto tasks you the job of cleaning up his mess.

it’s okay though, it’s cultleader!geto. your talents are needed here. why else he keep you around?

soon enough, you’re his most devoted follower. you’re not the strongest, nor the fastest, nor the smartest, but you’re his and cultleader!geto protects what’s his. soon you’re his shadow, always by his side.

the only time you ever have second thoughts is only when cultleader!geto leaves a village near the coast of Japan is ruins. hundreds of people deceased in absolutely vicious states. men, women and horrifyingly, children. he barely bats an eye, and it keeps you up at night.

you confront cultleader!geto one evening. probably not the smartest thing, you know he could kill you easily for this kind of insubordination. but he doesn’t. when you rant and tell him how jealous you are, he smiles. the same exact smile he gave you all those months ago.

“they’re meaningless insects, you know that." he’d say. you know he’s telling you what you want to hear. you should leave, but he’s pulling you in.

“they mean nothing to you or i. you’re my champion. i need you, and you want to leave me?"

WARNING: NSFW AHEAD: MINORS DNI, Thank you.

・❥・𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖

unsurprisingly, being cultleader!geto’s number one follower inevitably gets you into his bed. Such devotion should be rewarded, and cultleader!geto is an absolute freak.

absolute bondage warrior. red or black ropes, i don’t make the rules. cultleader!geto’s got you tied down, hands and feet to each bedpost, absolutely naked.

and all that praise cultleader!geto gives you during the day? gone. you go from his little ‘champion’ to ‘lapdog’ real quick.

“how pitiful, even in bed you’re nothing but a lapdog. aren’t you ashamed of yourself?"

and I feel like cultleader!geto is no stranger to roleplay, I mean this dude is freaky as hell, are we surprised 😭😭? he’s got this expensive black leather collar for you, equipped with a silver nametag with your name on it and an expensive matching leash. he tugs on the leash to hear you bark, whine and gasp for air like the lapdog you are.

and the edging… lord save you, he is a nightmare when it comes to edging.

cultleader!geto’s not the kinda guy to edge you with foreplay. sure, he’s got a cute little bullet vibrator nestled inside of you, but that’s not even close to enough.

no, this man is evil through and through. sat nestled on your cock, all the way to the hilt, and cockwarming you for hours at a time. cutleader!geto soft and warm and he knows he’s fucking tight and he takes advantage of that.

“oh, poor thing. look at you tearing up. you want to fuck me so bad, but you can’t. what a dilemma…”

and when you do get to cum, cultleader!geto makes a game out of it. in the hours that he’s sat on your throbbing cock, he’ll pound himself onto it, babbling hushed nonsense while you’re practically melting into the bed. just as you’re about to cum, cultleader!geto will slam himself down and look back at you as tears trickle down your cheeks.

absolute menace. life without parole!!

and finally, when a shred of mercy enters cultleader!geto’s heart, he finally lets you cum. facing you, riding your cock so hard the bed is creaking, he lets you cum. of course not inside him. never inside of him, you’re not worthy of that. no, he pulls off just as you’re about to cum and lets you paint your own stomach white. a mess.

“to think you’d last longer. a shame.” he’ll say, his own cock throbbing. such a liar.

there’s no aftercare. cultleader!geto is a busy man and these few hours together should be treasured. he’ll put his clothes back on, undo your bindings and leave you there like he’d never been there in the first place, fucking you silly.

“Please…”

You can hear the blood thrumming in your ears, and your bodies strung tight like a spring. How much longer is he going to toy with you like this? Bouncing on your cock, fucking himself down onto you like a toy, keeping you hard enough to touch every spot he fucking loves. While you’re suffering, Geto’s got his hands on your chest, mewling at how your cock stretches him, his hips moving on instinct, fucking himself onto you.

“Please, Geto, please—”

YANK!

The air in your lungs is forced out of you, your head lurching forward with a sharp tug as Geto pulls the leash back, sharp golden eyes trained on you like an insect crossing his path.

“Who said you could speak, dog?” he laughs, incredulous.

“No one,” you breathe. Anything to get this man to go faster. To let you cum deep inside of him like you’ve been dreaming of. If only your hands weren’t bound and getting bruised, you’d grab his hips and fuck him down onto you. Maybe fuck the cruelty out of him if you were lucky.

“Open your mouth.”

Your fingernails dig into the red ropes binding your wrists, and you peer up at him. He’s sparkly with sweat, just like you, his cheeks flushed and his lips bruised and raw from biting at them. Fucking sexy. If you could commit him to memory, you would in a heartbeat.

You open your mouth, watching him lean forward. And with little warning, he spits into your mouth, his fingers digging deep crescent marks into your cheeks, his other hand holding your leash.

And you cum like you never have before. Rope after rope leaves you, burying each pulse of his cum into him. Geto jumps, his eyes wild and alert. He pulls himself up just as you paint your stomach and his ass with your cum. You’re so dizzy from the heat, you don’t even realize he’s speaking to you.

“Consider yourself fortunate, Lapdog."

His hand slaps against your cheek, leaving a stinging blow that brings you back to the moment.

“Next time you cum inside me, we won’t be having a conversation…”

[kingkatsuki]

i seem to remember on a reddit thread where the prompt was something like “weirdest and most unexpected things that turned you on” there was a guy was talking about how his half-awake girlfriend was pissing with the door open and he teased that he had to go too and she just kind of sleepily moved back a little and opened her legs so he could go at the same time and it did something for him.

idk which of your faves but i know somebody’s freaky ass would get hard over that.

I remember this exact post vividly haha😫

But I humbly offer you the concept of going to use the restroom at a party, with your fave walking you there like your own personal guard dog as you expect him to stand outside and wait for you but he’s stepping inside to close the door.

And he needs to pee just as much as you, but it’s always ladies first. So he tries real hard to hold it, he really does— but the alcohol flowing through his veins lowers his restraint as his bladder throbs and suddenly he’s standing in front of you with his pants sagging around the curve of his ass. Soft dick in hand as he tries to aim for the toilet.

But he’s drunk, and he’s barely standing straight as he practically curls himself over you. The stream of piss hits your pelvis and abdomen as you frantically try to pull your dress up more to avoid getting pee on it, but he only takes it as an offering like “That’s it baby, let me piss on your tits.” He’s slurring and sloppy, but the relief that floods through his features when he lets go is intoxicating as it has your clit throbbing with need.

[harmonictechnicality]

*my humble offering to @steddie-week (and the s4 anniversary!) | ao3 link here*

Like most bad ideas, it starts with a question. Eddie is sitting on the ground, messing with the laces on his sneakers. Tying, untying. Mindless shit.

Steve is taking up the whole damn park bench, practically laying on it. Hasn’t said a word in the last ten minutes. 

And Eddie sort of hates the silence. Would like Silence to get decapitated with a chainsaw or something equally gruesome. Needs that particular volume to die the loudest death possible. For the sake of irony, of course.

So Eddie kills it - the silence, that is. The lull taking up all this air between him and Steve Harrington.

He kills it with a question:

“What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?”

Steve’s head snaps in Eddie’s direction. “What did you say?”

“You heard me.”

“Fuck, I don’t know, man.” Steve sort of twitches, right between his eyebrows. Shoulders going lopsided, unnaturally angled. Uncomfortable.

Eddie shouldn’t be feeding off this tension so much. Judging by Steve’s body language though, the answer must be a good one. 

He leans forward, almost singing the words. “You sure about that?”

Pushing is fun, darkly playful. Eddie enjoys getting under people’s skin, crawling around till they shrivel up. Is it wrong? Morally unethical? Well… the verdict is still out on that.

Besides, he’s been around Harrington enough lately to know that it doesn’t take much to make him surrender. 

“Fine.” Steve huffs. He lifts himself to a sitting position, knees bobbing up and down. It takes all of Eddie’s leftover energy to not gloat about how easy that was - how quickly Steve caved. Teasing can (will) come later - right now, he wants answers. 

Secrets.

“So, Robin and I went to this party in the city… got pretty shitfaced.”

Eddie throws his head back. “Lame.” 

“Story’s not over.”

Oh? Interesting. Eddie places his hand over his heart, then waves it back at Steve. “My sincere apologies. Continue.”

Steve rolls his eyes, clears his throat (not that he needed to but whatever). “Anyways, she somehow convinced me to go to this tattoo parlor with her. Said her friend worked there and she wanted to visit them, so-”

“Wait wait wait. Don’t tell me this story ends with you getting a butterfly tattoo on your lower back.”

“Will you stop interrupting?”

There’s this serious expression in Steve’s eyes. A combination of dark colors and pure annoyance. Eddie is sane enough to know that annoyance isn’t something he should find endearing, but he does. On Steve.

Just a little.

He shrugs, and Steve continues. “Well, it turns out her friend wasn’t working that night. But the piercing lady was working and was like… superpersuasive.”

“Look, Munson, I don’t remember many details after that. Like I said, totally shitfaced. I just know when Robin and I woke up the next morning, we were so fucking sore. And not like, hangover sore either. We were sore in the same exact place. Right here.”

Steve’s pointer finger is gesturing at his stomach. Right in the center.

No. Absolutely not. Either Steve had severe stomach pains that night, or he’s suggesting that…

No.

“Yeah. There you have it.”  Steve says. Blankly nodding into space. “Stupidest thing I’ve ever done is get a matching belly button piercing with my best friend. Jesus christ, that’s freaky to say out loud.”

The Silence sneaks up on him. Stabs Eddie in the back when he isn’t looking because he’s too busy trying to imagine Steve Harrington with a piercing of any kind. Let alone the most famously slutty kind.

Wrong, so very wrong. He should never let the words slutty and piercing clutter up his imagination while thinking about Steve. The silence has been too long now. Gotta say something, anything.

“Bullshit.” His tone is harsh. Doesn’t mean for it to be. “There’s no fucking way.”

Steve pouts, crinkles his forehead. “I swear on my car - I’m not making this up.”

And see, here’s where the bad idea comes in. This stormcloud of pouting and piercings and chest hair, it’s all becoming dangerous. That urge to provoke is in Eddie’s bloodstream. He has to tip the scale, twist the knife of chaos as far as he can. Self control is out the fucking window.

“Prove it then.”

“Fuck off, Munson.” Steve laughs, maybe scoffs. Either reaction is a little confusing. “Seriously, this isn’t truth or dare.”

The truth is already out though. It’s the dare that Eddie is hungry for. “You can’t just drop a nuclear statement like that and expect me not to ask to see it.”

“Technically, you didn’t ask.”

Eddie clamors over to Steve, all theatrics and fake agony. “Please, Lord Harrington.” He clasps both hands together, rests his cheek on Steve’s knee. Batting his eyelashes till Steve cracks a smile. “Let me see the metal that has punctured thy skin. I beg of thee.”

Steve shoves him off. “You’re such a dork.” It’s lighthearted, barely qualifies as shoving. He’s become way too decent for actual aggression these days. 

A fact Eddie tirelessly clings to when Steve stands up. Lifts the bottom of his shirt and puts it in his fucking mouth.

“Holy shit.” Eddie mutters. No time to consider how pathetic it comes across.

In theory, this should all be stupidly unattractive. The way Steve holds his shirt between his teeth. The way he mumbles incoherent shit between the fabric in his mouth. The way he keeps pointing at it, poking it.

That shiny, teardrop-shaped metal. Just… hanging from Steve’s belly button, swinging slightly with every small movement. Eddie’s eyes start to swing with it, back and forth. Back and forth. Maybe those roadside hypnotists are onto something, because the dumbest piece of jewelry has Eddie captivated.

He could just be captivated by the guy attached to the dumbest piece of jewelry. Piercing.

Jesus Christ. Eddie really didn’t think his life could get any weirder. But here he is. Staring at Steve Harrington’s belly button piercing. Fucking mouth-breathing at the sight of it. Probably seconds away from salivating. 

He really should consider seeing a licensed psychologist. Fix his terminally horned-up brain once and for all.

“It’s…” Eddie swallows, his eyelids feel heavier than his stare. “Not what I expected.”

The fabric drops from Steve’s mouth. Unevenly falls around his waist... hips. “What were you expecting?”

To laugh. To mock. Threaten blackmail for six lifetimes, maybe more.

Instead, Eddie gazing at it the way people gaze through telescopes. He peers lower, tries to see if it’s silver or gold. Hard to tell at sunset. None of Eddie’s typical instincts are sinking in. All he wants is to feel the metal rolling over his tongue or get it trapped between his teeth. See how it tastes mixed up with Steve’s skin.

“Fuck.” Yikes. Eddie didn’t mean to say that out loud. Straightens up from his questionable position, does it so fast that his spine sounds like bubble wrap. “Sorry, sorry.”

What the hell is he apologizing for? Cussing? Having a skeletal structure? Christ almighty, he’s a mess.

Steve’s lips spread into a grin, doesn’t look like his own. Looks more like the kind Eddie might give after pulling off a successful decoy in one of his campaigns. “What’s wrong with your face, man?”

“My face?”

“It’s all…” Steve trails off. Sighs and sits back down on the bench. “Nevermind.”

Eddie reaches up to his cheek, understands exactly what Steve is referring to. He feels feverish to the touch, must be a shade of red that is so deep, it’s noticeable in the darkening sky. 

“Sorry… sorry.” Steve hangs his head. Seems troubled even though Eddie is nailing that particular routine all on his own.

“Think that’s my line.” Eddie jokes. 

“Right.”

Silence is lurking around them yet again. Eddie hates it, but he’s running out of steam here. The embarrassment is on display, his cheeks and neck covered in splotchy red patches. His voice is higher, somehow, as if his vocal chords are shrinking. He’s undergoing a crisis and crush simultaneously and it is not an attractive look for him.

“Just go ahead and get it over with.” Steve says. Interrupts whatever cynicism that’s currently brewing in Eddie's head. 

“Get what over with?”

“The teasing.”

“Oh that’s not… it’s um… you don’t…” Eddie can’t pick an appropriate response. They’re way beyond politeness and niceties. And any bullshit he tries to pull isn't gonna be convincing. So it’s best to stay honest. Embarrassing, but honest. “I think it looks pretty good.”

“You do?” Steve looks softer. 

“Yeah. I mean… Bowie probably has one, and he’s a fucking superstar so. Uh. Yeah.”

“Bowie, huh?”

“I like Bowie.” I like Bowie? What a beefhead answer. Eddie joins Steve on the bench, hopes it distracts from that very un-cool line. 

“I like Bowie too.” Steve messes with his hair a bit. Elbows Eddie in the side and chuckles. “You should get one.”

“A piercing?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t hold your breath, man. I’m not letting that nightmare creator you described anywhere near my lower abdomen. Not gonna happen.”

Steve reaches out, runs his knuckles down the bridge of Eddie’s nose. Stops at the crease of his nostril. “What about one right here?” His voice is even, calm. Too calm for what he’s asking.

His hand is warm, slightly calloused. The only two thoughts Eddie can process without going fully catatonic. Steve’s hand is on his face and it’s warm.

Slightly calloused. 

“Uh. Dunno.” Eddie says. A hoarse whisper in reply. “Probably not.”

Steve scoots in closer, never taking his hand off Eddie’s face. Just moving it around. Exploring. He brushes along to Eddie’s ear this time. Holds the edge of it between his thumb and index finger, looking straight at it. 

“What about right here?” Steve’s eyes stay fixed on Eddie’s ear. Every touch seems natural, just questions that involve connection or something.

Internally, Eddie is dousing flames. Fanning them left and right. Running in circles, fucking clueless on how to properly calm down. Be civil. Be Dude Civil. His breathing is so rapid, he knows it. Can hear it between them, collecting space. Decides it would be best to mimic Steve. Fix his eyes only on him, borrow the stability as much as possible.

“Mmm… maybe.”  Eddie gets stuck on the ‘mmm’ sound. That’s how good it feels having someone touch him like this. Careful, yet heavy in curiosity. Rolling the tip of his earlobe between two fingers, just enough pressure to create heat. 

It warrants that sound.

Steve’s glance drifts before his fingers do. Eyes landing on Eddie’s lips, slight hesitancy before his hand follows. Eddie has to hold his breath now. Minimal oxygen is the only way he’ll survive this moment, which makes no fucking sense, but it does all the same.

“Here would look really good.” Steve slowly traces the curve of Eddie’s bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. The back and forth pattern is disarming. Makes Eddie’s lips part, mouth slightly open.

Just enough to speak. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

If Eddie passes out from lack of oxygen, he’ll regret it. He’ll regret not taking the risk, finishing what Steve has started. Because this surpasses friendly touching. 

This is charged in electric shockwaves.

Eddie dips in, kisses Steve before he can move his hand out of the way. Steve makes a sound, not even a surprised one. It’s sweeter, laced in relief. Eddie pushes in, wants more, whatever he can get. Has his fingers wrapped around Steve’s wrist, the same hand that’s dragging down his face, his neck. Stopping at his chest. 

Every rumor is true, that kissing Steve Harrington is like the gates of heaven opening up. That his tongue could work miracles on amateur lips with a few licks and curls. But no one ever told him about the noises he makes - and those are the best fucking part. Heaving breaths, pleased whines, each one captured with Eddie’s mouth before they get any louder.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe those are just for Eddie. Reserved for kissing him.

Goddamn, he’s delusional. Completely delirious from kissing a dude with a belly button piercing.

There’s a light getting brighter, almost approaching them. Eddie opens his eyes, quickly backs off while Steve does the same. Has to literally detachhimself from wherever his hand was busy wandering all over Steve’s body. 

Headlights pull into the nearby parking lot. Eddie squints to get a better look at the car. It’s Robin and Vickie, showing up fashionably late as always. Sure, he’s grateful that it’s just them, the queerest people in his circle of weirdos. And while they’re reasonable people with shit like this, even they’dbe shocked to know that Eddie and Steve just sucked face for a solid three minutes. Probably best to not mention the gory details, not tonight. Eddie hopes Steve is thinking the same thing.

Both of them stand up, rearrange themselves to look presentable. Less tousled and kiss-bitten. Steve spends a few extra seconds with his hair before turning to Eddie, eyebrows high. Likely a non-verbal ask if his hair is looking as godly as ever.

Of course it does. Looks even better knowing Eddie’s nails were just digging into it.

Steve is a few steps ahead of Eddie, heading for the girls, when Eddie does it again. Kills the silence with a question. 

“Can we… do this again?” It’s edging on desperate, he’s so fucking aware of that. Self control really proving to be a major downfall with him tonight. Should definitely consider taking classes, train his willpower or some shit.

Steve stops walking. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t even look at Eddie as he speaks. “My place.”

Oh. That’s… wow. Unexpected. Eddie jogs up to Steve, beside him. Way too eager now, sort of buzzing for more information. Hints of excitement or maybe a smile. Anything, really. He’s at that level of weak for this guy.

Steve just keeps walking, but leans in, right next to Eddie’s ear. The same one he messed with earlier. His voice is quiet, but Eddie hears every damn syllable:

“I’ll leave the window unlatched for you.”

For him. 

Maybe Eddie isn’t completely delusional after all.

[joffyworld]

COTL Freaky Tierlist

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP CHUCKLEFUCKS

I'm about to drop some life changing lore and if you can't handle it, that's tough titties my brothers, sisters and theys. If you don't agree with this tier list, you're either a normal person (in which case why are you here run for the hills) or you're so damn freaky that God forgot that was possible when he made me.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, FROM LEAST TO MOST FREAKY:

F:

Kallamar - Need I say more? This loveable twink is soft as his husbands knickers and by God would we not have him any other way. This fucker can't even fathom anything beyond the most painfully dull missionary imaginable, and that's just as an excuse to cuddle more afterwards. "But Joffy" I hear you say, "He's a renowned slut he should be in A!" Wrong. He couldn't be more vanilla, it's all an act and anyone with more than 3 spouses is just fucking lying at that point. Cmon, he may be a God, but deep inside that cowards octopussy is a love for the mundane.

D:

Heket - Controversial I know. But hear me out here. Heket has spent all her life getting fucked by life, she has literally no time for your stupid fleshy appendages, and to top it off she's the most desperately useless lesbian this side of the lands of the old faith. Renowned from Darkwood to Anchordeep, this bitch is fucking stupid when it comes to "rizzing a shawty" and it shows because she spends all her time yapping about the good ol' days. She's only slightly freakier than Kallamar because she's probably into being burned by cigarettes or some shit, but let's face facts. Inexperience guides this poor phrog into the D tier, despite her aversion to "D" to begin with.

Leshy - This stupid dumb stupid worm barely knows that sex exists, and if you asked him what his favourite position is he'd say "1st" and then promptly challenge you to a footrace. The God of Chaos has no time for ropes and rails, but he's at least got a good heart and is pretty gay for that cat. I've watched this stupid fucker get divorced in two different AU's because he couldn't live with the guilt, you think he's surviving post-nut clarity? No. Enough said, he's keeping it clean and calm in the bedroom, and that cat couldn't be happier about that considering his daily life is fucking mental. Keep the Chaos outside, inside? Domestic worm only.

C:

Goat - Now this is where it gets tricky, you might think that the gruff exterior of a mass murdering psychopath is enough to demonstrate a willingness to get tied upside down and spank the monkey till the sun don't shine. But brother, let me tell you, it ain't fuckin true. Don't get me wrong, this goat can fuck, and boy does he, but most of the time it's all bark no bite in the flirting department. Easily flustered, puts up an external image of punk-rock to hide that he's an utter cinnamon bun, the whole works. That being said, with a long term partner? Buckle up. That crown isn't dildo-purple for no reason, prepare for bliss and potential bliss-ters.

B:

Lamb - OKAY HOLD YOUR HORSES this is gonna be a tough one. You've gotta be thinking, that's either wayyy too high for this silly lil fella, or wayyy to low for this absolute cock devouring demon, but let me remind you, this one here is subjective. This is the only character I've seen written as everything from an asexual to a violent and sadistic cannibal, so what fairer rating than the exact middle? It truly does depends, if you're on your "cannibalism is routine and fun" shit then you're gonna be rocketing right up there, straight to S baby, unless you have some kind of twisted mentality you need checked by a licensed psychiatrist to somehow think that's tame; not to shame it mind you. But if you're more on the side of the lamb's that typically get posted by a cuter artist, than you're gonna be rocking a D or even an F. This little fuzzy fucker is traumatized, some type of gay no matter what, and certainly a wildcard, and what better way to celebrate that then with a middle-of-the-road approach? Besides, their most famous partner is certainly a bit more repressed, which leads us to:

A:

Narinder - Are we surprised? This fuzzy little furball has been trapped in prison for 1000 years with his two kids and NOTHING ELSE to do except hope he can get back on the market. The moment he's freed, it's gonna be hell unleashed, but thankfully 99% of the time he's either so angry or so oblivious it turns into a slowburn of passion with his fuzzy lil sheepguy that he definitely "doesn't" have a thing for. But, as the well versed know, this motherfucker has seen shit, and being the God of Death is gonna give you a weird taste in, well, "tastes" than a normal life will. I mean really, the guys fuckin surrounded by miserable dead people all day, he needs stress relief and his enthusiasm for revenge borders on the horny-sided. This guy fucks, but mostly gets fucked, and remains The One Who Bottoms in almost every AU. Cmon people, if you've read this far you've fuckin seen it with your own eyes, do I really to lecture about it more?

S:

The Mura™ - The fucker that started it all. I bet until now you thought I wouldn't include this loveable spider and awful mother-sibling of 4, but here we are. This goddamn spider has single-parented a family of genocidal psychopaths since history started being recorded, and to match that then had to almost literally kill one of their own brother-kid-things to save the others. Stressed and in need of relief? Check. You know what makes a motherfucker freaky? Repression, and this spider is goddamn dripping in it (pun intended) and is ready to burst. I myself may be a Shamura aroace truther, but if I have to put a letter on it, it's 100% in the universes where this spider fucks. Copulates, eats your head, kills your family mid-coitus, the whole shebang, but boy is that gonna be the best last nut you'll ever bust. This spider's an expert, literally the God of War and by God are they gonna wage war on your holes, not to mention ALSO being the God of Wisdom? I mean come on, somebody had to write the Kama Sutra, and it was this horny bastard

And that's it

You may have questions, you may have alternative takes, to be honest I'll probably change my mind the moment I hit post and remember that actually Heket deepthroated a glizzy on the 5th of October last year, but honestly? Who gives a shit. These gods be gay people, that's all that matters.

Goodnight, Lamb Bless, and may you never encounter The Mura during ovulation. Godspeed soldiers, amen.

[frownyalfred]

i LOVED the new eye in the sky chap! of course, you have the soul-crushing rage-inducing angst pile on bruce's end, but i also really appreciated the duke-hal moment; he's so level-headed about the situation that you don't really build up too much stress over him, but then you brought in a different kind of heartbreak with the realization that he's been in this position enough times to know that the least provoking thing he can do is to do nothing at all.

and the FUTURESPEAKING jesus CHRIST — it’s a different type, but your time manipulation fuckery is almost equally as hard to wrap your head around as the stuff in tenet (the nolan movie), it's genuinely so impressive. (sorry, i'm just gonna run my mouth here for a minute, but the idea really caught me and now i Have to share all my thoughts just to get them out of my brain, though i hope that you'll be generous enough to weigh in as well😅) i'd imagine that there's actually relatively very few people, in-universe, who can do this so that duke hears it correctly, because you have to be able to focus your mind and put enough intent into the idea that you're about to say something that it "registers" as the imminent future—which means that you have to, at the same time, be completely repressing your knowledge that you're NOT going to actually vocalize whatever it is, because that intention would obviously counteract the first. and THEN, to make what's already quite a tough mental exercise even more impressive, bruce is: thinking of a futurespeak-response, putting enough focus/intent behind it for that future to crystallize (and again, it's a double-headed task, because of the repression required as well), and then cutting that off in order to think of and say something completely different, *all in about just the same amount of time a normal person would take to respond naturally in a conversation.* (also, slightly less mind-boggling but still quite impressive to me and i want to give him his props: duke, in that last bit at the end at least, is maintaining both his awareness in the present and the mental effort of using his powers to see the future, in order to hear the exact same voice say two different things at the same time, and is able to not only maintain the background effort needed to hear both things, but is taking in enough detail to see/hear/notice "both" bruces' tone and body language. ...i mean, maybe that's not so impressive to people without auditory processing issues lmao, but as someone who's constantly asking people to repeat themselves, or really having to focus on the sounds when somebody's speaking to me, even in one-on-one conversations, it certainly impressed me!)

anyways, yeah, this just inspired a lot of interesting trains of thought for me and i wanted to share lol. your fics are always such great reads, can't wait for your next update! Hope you're well💜

Thank you so much!!!! You absolutely nailed what I was trying to get at with Duke’s powers. I really didn’t want over explain it and have people roll their eyes, but I also didn’t want to leave readers mystified as to what he was doing.

Duke and Bruce are supremely well matched in this fic for that reason among many others — Bruce has a freaky brain and understands time/intention well enough to be able to think, speak, and re-speak that quickly.

He can compartmentalize like no one else. I am not obviously that smart, but the way I thought about it was playing competing melodies on the piano with two different hands - once you find the rhythm, the way they work off each other, you can maintain both easily. Where they gap, where they overlap, where they compete for your attention.

Duke is good at glimpsing a few seconds forward/back but definitely not for long periods. Like Bruce said, he’s going to need help to train that and avoid burning himself out! Luckily he’s just listening and not double speaking like Bruce is.

Someone on ao3 left me this in the comment section and they’re so right lol:

I feel bad for Hal, just a little, just like Duke does. He was tortured by Kal essentially, and where he does want to hurt Bruce (a lot) there are still some lines he won’t cross. I don’t know if that makes him redeemable or just not entirely beyond redemption. I think Bruce seems to know this too — teasing him with that moral code he used to hold so tightly to.

It was definitely a fun space to play around in! Writing this fic is difficult for me (agh worldbuilding) but whenever I try I’m pleasantly surprised by how much fun I have. Thank you so much for reading!!

[lucifertheanalyzer]

(Nice to have you back btw 😊)

Viv’s depictions of gay men are terrible

All of them are horny twinks and 2 of them (Angel and Stolas) sexually harass their partners. And this is treated as some cutesy quirky thing, with Husk and Blitz being treated as in the wrong for being uncomfortable around Angel and Stolas respectively.

And most egregiously, back in “Murder Family”, a woman’s husband cheated on her with another woman, and so she had IMP murder them. But then in “Sinsmas” we get practically this exact same situation, only difference being that the man cheated with another man. And the woman in “Sinsmas” is treated as this heartless homophobic bitch, and the 2 men are these uwu softies who didn’t do anything wrong. According to the narrative, it’s okay that this guy cheated because he’s gay and therefore he is exempt from all forms of accountability /S 😑

(I am glad to be back, I really like making these posts. 😌)

I would root for Angel getting together with Husk if Angel did not sexual harass him. I do not why fans view what Angel was doing as "flirting", Vaggie in episode two called Angel out for sexually harass the staff. If you have a crush on someone, please do not call them demeaning nicknames or touch them in the sexual manner without consent. Husk had the right to push Angel off of him in Ep four.

If the writers wanted to show that Angel was romantically interested in Husk, why not have Angel pull harmless but annoying pranks on Husk? Angel in the beginning of his creation, he used to like pulling pranks on people.

Stolas and Blitz's whole relationship is built of sexual desires and fantasies. Cannot forget about Stolas' creepy nicknames for Blitz, here is a whole compilation.

Nothing about their relationship screams romantic, I do not care how many times they kiss. What do they see in each other outside how freaky they can get in bed?

The client be a Karen and homophobic was a choice to make the audience not agree with her, same with her saying that her husband *probably* cheated on her, she could be lying or telling the truth.

Why are IMP all of the sudden caring about the morals of their clients anyway? They are demons from and raised in Hell but have morality like humans.

Milie was in the right! Sinmas frames Millie in the wrong because she is pregnant which means that she is hormonal and is not thinking rationally. 🙄 They had a job to do but Blitz was too much in his fee-fees and imaging that one day he will be like that gay couple: settling down with Stolas by getting married, Via and Loona will be sisters, and they will live happy ever after. In Ghostfuckers, Millie mentions that Blitz spent most of the earnings on dumb shit so yeah, they kind of need the money especially for lower class demons. I wish that scene in Sinmas was like this. Rewrite by thebobonutzz on the bird app.

[halliescomut]

The Boy Next World Finale

I'm gonna start this with a disclaimer- it's probably not going to be very nice. I do try to be kind even when criticizing media. It think it's important to know that most of my critiques about the story and show are based in the story itself, and not directed at any of the onscreen talent.

I'm also going to complain that Mame stuck so close to the original novel. I don't want to hear about how I should have expected that. I understand that when EA and SEA print BLs, whether novels, manga, manwha, webtoons, etc. are adapted to series that those series are usually like 98% accurate and often the things that aren't kept are things that are simply unrealistic for adaptation. But Mame's novels and series are a very unique situation because Mame is the author of the original material. A lot of the refusal to change these stories comes from a place of not wanting to disrespect the original creators, as well as the audience expectation to see the exact story they already like depicted in a new medium. In the case of Mame, she does not HAVE to be worried about that first part. And there is precedent for changing things in the series adaptations, we saw that with KinnPorsche, which was done with the consent and approval of the original authors (though they are garbage so fuck them really).

We will start on the negative though, because honestly I need to get it out of my system. I have defended Mame for a lot, and I really felt like in a lot of ways she had been improving in the way that she depicts her stories, particularly in her series. If you have been watching a good assortment of EA and SEA BL over the last 5 years, you can see a pretty distinct shift in how those series portray a lot of things. We saw backlash over LITA for the reveal of Payu being the one to mess up Rain's car the night of the faculty dinner thing, and A LOT of complaints over the Prapai/Sky storyline, in particular Prapai's diligence in pursuing Sky, and the words stalker was brought up and used in both cases. In the case of Payu, I always felt like that was an unnecessary inclusion in the story, nothing changed without it really, and it would have been believable and in character for Rain's car to have some sort of mechanical malfunction due to lack of regular maintenance, when he is very intentionally set up as a flighty character. I defended, and will continue to defend, the Prapai/Sky story choices, because 1: Without Prapai's persistence, there is no love story, and 2: Prapai's 'wooing' of Sky is literally him following the instructions that Sky gives to Rain in episode 2 (at least I'm pretty sure it's ep 2) about how to get Payu to fall for him. It is set up within the story that this is what Sky thinks you should do to get someone to fall for you, potentially, people still have free will after all. So to see this shift in how problematic behaviors are presented within series, and having an older novel (originally released in 2020), there really was no reason to maintain this story point in my opinion, at least not on the scale that it was.

Realistically, I think since she chose to actively change the story to basically make the parallel universes real, then she should have stuck with that. Because they weren't real in the novel and no the special chapters do not confirm that they were real, there's one that takes place from the perspective of alternate universe Cir and Phu, but it's not in a way that affects the Cir and Phu of the main universe, and the swapping either physically or Freaky Friday style of the Cir's never happens. If she chose to fully get behind the parallel universe swap, which she could have done without affecting much of the story. Personally, I think the way to go about this would have been for the accident that is the starting point of the novel/series to have taken the lives of 1 Cir and 1 Phu, leaving the alternate universe without either, and leaving the main universe with basically an original Phu and a transplant Cir. We could still have those moments of Phu being focused on getting Cir back to his Phu, and the sort of emotional climax be Cir admitting that he doesn't want to go back, because there is no Phu there. And you can still explain all of the little kindnesses that the previous Cir was doing basically the same way they explain in the show, that he was changed by the fact that Phu saw him as a person, not a robot, not a product, but a person, and so he went out of his way to do acts of kindness in secret for him, because once Cirrus learns about Phukan, regardless of the universe/timeline, he can not help but want to care for him.

The other secondary option is that they fully follow the parallel universe set-up they had, where the traumatic brain injury gives Cirrus a glimpse of what he may miss by staying afraid. It's a common story trope for a reason that when people, especially very young people, directly encounter death for the first time, that it fundamentally changes the risks you are willing to take. The classic quote is "Every man has two lives, and your second begins when you realize you only have one." Cirrus encountering a version of himself who lost his Phukan early on, and wanting to show this Cir that he needs to take that chance and pursue Phu, both to keep Phu safe, but also to maintain his own health and sanity. There's very interesting options available to play with, and none really require relying on what is inarguably a very problematic story point.

Like, I haven't really been interacting with a lot being said about The Boy Next World, because realistically I feel like a lot of people that talk about Mame's series, are coming at it from a perspective of wanting a gotcha moment. They want to say "see this is why it's problematic to have straight (presumably) women still writing BLs", and I just don't love coming at it from a place of TRYING to find problems so you can tear a woman down. Yes, we should be continuously encouraging the inclusion of queer creatives both in front of and behind the camera, but sometimes it feels like an excuse to be misogynistic. And realistically, it is a net good for queer stories of almost any quality being told and shared and discussed globally. All of that being said, given the very clear shift in how problematic behavior is portrayed within SEA and Thai BL specifically over the last couple of years, this choice will not only feel old and out of step, but distasteful to a lot of viewers. It's going to prevent people from rewatching the show, truly I have rewatched all of Mame's series at least once, and I do have favorites, but this one...knowing the endgame especially when I know that there probably wouldn't have been much of a negative reaction to a thoughtful change, it really brings down my desire to rewatch it, and I think that in itself is unfortunate because I think the story without the stalking is very emotionally affecting, and Boss and Noeul have done a really good job portraying these characters.

I did not bother to reread the novel, I only read the special chapters that were released recently, so admittedly a lot of my memory of the novel is based on my own notes and posts about it here on Tumblr, but I don't recall the final confrontation ending with Ozone trading himself for Cirrus. I'm not saying that's not what happens, just that it isn't what I recall. From a storytelling point of view, specifically one which is related to romantic storytelling, that's a shitty ending. Knowing the damage, both physical and psychological that their mother placed on Cir, Ozone taking his place is a bad ending. We had already established within both the novel and series (this I do remember) that Cirrus was putting things into place so that at the time of his graduation he would have leverage to get out from under his mother's thumb. Why would you put that aside and instead have him only escape by basically sacrificing his brother. I don't care that his brother is now 'grown', and the idea is that he would be able to withstand their mother's abuse without damage, because that's simply not true, but it also undermines the very knowing sacrifice that Cir made. He CHOSE, with intention, to stay with his mother and let his brother go with their father. He did that knowing that his life would basically be hell on Earth, but he loved his brother and was willing to do this. There's room here to blame their father, but it's made pretty clear that their father doesn't have near the resources of their mother, she was the one who brought wealth and power to that relationship, so I'm not going to put as much of the blame on him because it genuinely belongs 99% on his mother's shoulders. So why could they not simply pull the ace up their sleeves, tell her "No, you are not going to be the one in control of this" and walk out leaving her as alone as she deserves to be. You can be concerned for revenge, but that doesn't have to be an axe over their heads, a conversation between all of them to clarify what they've done to safeguard themselves against her would be plenty. We've established that both Cirrus and Ozone are very intelligent, they would have the ability to outsmart their mother who is blinded by her own ego. Would it be a Deus Ex Machina moment? A little, but it certainly wouldn't feel like it's coming out of left field. And like I said, that ending creates a dissatisfaction in the viewer because the number one concerns we've watched Cirrus have were for his brother and for Phu, so him sacrificing Ozone for Phu would not feel like a happy ending, and also feels out of character, especially when we saw the ending of their story in the universe where Ozone ended up with their mother.

Final thoughts on the negative- overall I'm just disappointed because it didn't have to be this way. There were changes made to the story, like Jin's psychic abilities, and the actual existence of the parallel worlds, so why could we not have made further changes that brought the story forward just a little bit more in step with the Thai BL scene overall?

To what I did like- literally almost everything else, which is why the whole story feels so tainted by that stalker storyline. I'll start with Noeul, because I do feel like he often doesn't get the level of respect he deserves for his acting. His portrayal of Phukan's was very well done, and in a way that is more difficult to describe. This was not necessarily a comedic role, but by virtue of Phu being kind of a silly little guy, there's a lot of moments of comedy, especially physical comedy in the show, and it is hard to do those things well, and also to not be too over the top with it, because this is more of a drama, so you don't want it to be out of place. There's also a subtlety in his acting when it comes to the more serious moments, not the sad moments, or highly emotional moments, like the confrontations with Cirrus, but the serious moments like the conversations with his father's flute. His conversations with his mother, his discussions with Cirrus about his life after his father passed, all of it is delivered in this way that feels distant in the way that you often have to distance yourself from your grief. And when we reach the point in the story, when he has the realization that the other Phukan is alone (as far as he knows) and he becomes almost panicked over it. He's felt and been alone for all of these years, I think 7 years at this point, and it's not easy, but he can do it, but the thought of this other Phu having had someone to stand by him, but now they don't, he can't stand the idea. We already see Phu as this person who is kind, his friends like him because he is this kind and thoughtful person, but this moment really hits it home to you. You know, we've watched this whole episode of him really taking us step by step through this day of mourning and remembrance, and we're not hit on the head with it, but we are reminded that yes we are seeing him doing this now as a 19/20 year old man, but that before now he was 14 and 15 and 16. A child, very fresh in his grief, having not only lost his father, but also his mother in most of the ways that matter, and in that moment when he's finally not alone on this day, so much weight is lifted. But then hie thinks of the version of him who hasn't had to carry that weight alone, and wouldn't that weight crush him if he had to start now, not just because Cirrus is gone, but because as far as Phu knows, a Cirrus that doesn't know or love him is who is there, and wouldn't that be double the heartbreak? Just...none of this is the easy simplicity that we saw in Love in the Air, so to bring this with the level of nuance that it is is very impressive on Noeul's part.

Boss does a really good job. I talked a bit in my discussion of the first couple episodes, that I was a bit worried at the coldness of the character, which is balanced by the almost innate warmth that Boss has, but still feels a bit off-putting. Through the series as we are fully introduced to the other Cir's and in particular the full explanation of the multiple world/timelines, seeing those scenes playing out of how things end for Cirrus and Phukan depending on the choices made was stunning. And it wasn't just Boss's acting in those different moments, but that he had set-up everything so spectacularly in the first half of the series, that you felt all of that same grief he did as he watched. There's a level of difficulty that comes with sort of playing to an empty room, which is what Boss was having to do when he was confronting the other version of himself, and even in the finale, recording that video to Phu. It's incredibly difficult even with multiple takes to get the exact right level of emotion while also making it feel like it's all happening real time. And while you could consider Boss experienced, you still also kind of have to remember that this is his 3rd job that he's filmed. (AN: This is under the expectation that he's fully filmed Zomvivor, bc honestly, I'm not clear on that, but I'm not really counting the cameos in Wedding Plan and Love Sea here.) I do really think there's a uniqueness to Boss's portrayal of Cirrus, particularly the versions we see the most, Main Universe Cirrus, the 'parallel world' version we see in the dream sequences, and the ponytail version, because they do all feel kind of different. But there's also this underlying feeling throughout. We've set up this idea that Phukan is the catalyst that changes Cirrus, that as soon as he truly meet him, things are changed forever, and we see that multiple times, so when we see even ponytail Cirrus rein himself in over the time he spends with Phu, it just really adds so much weight the fatefulness of their relationship, the inevitability of it.

It's I think the best portrayal we've see of soulmates since Until We Meet Again. A lot of that is Boss the person, and the clear genuine affection he has for Noeul, that really shines in their work together, but a lot of it is also talent. It's not just about him making heart eyes at Noeul/Phukan, it's the physical acting he brings into it. His face acting is pretty excellent, the eyebrow twitches and glowers, but also the way you'll see his hand twitch to reach out, or the way that he grasps at Phu, not just holding him, but holding on for dear life. There's this undercurrent of desperation in a lot of the small movement he makes that really sells how much he cares about Phukan.

We're knocking on 3000 words at this point, so I'm going to give a quick rundown of the other things I really enjoyed about the series. I loved Wim and Jin in the novel, and I also very much enjoyed them in the series, thought I did feel they were pretty different form their novel counterparts. I'll also admit that Wim kinda bugged me here and there in the series and novel because of how he talked about Cirrus and his general disdain for being Cirrus's babysitter or whatever, but I am granting some leniency based on the fact that he's still young. I really liked the friend groups in general, though I didn't really feel like we got to know the others.

I talked in previous posts about the visual beauty and use of cool and warm tones throughout the story. The cinematography is frankly gorgeous, and I hope Mame (or any other production company) continues to work with that director, because he's clearly very talented. It's a balancing act to have your shots line up in such a way that the visuals build upon the story that's being told, and you will see in some shows where they kind of thought "oh wouldn't this look cool", but it overwhelms the story rather than elevating it. I never really felt that here. Shots were well-planned and well-executed with that clear intent of providing that foundation for the emotions of the story.

I might have more to say, but honestly, I don't know. Usually I'm not posting more because I plan to rewatch so that I have more clarity, and I'm looking at things from a bit more of a distance, since when I'm first watching the show, my focus is on understanding what's happening and the performances. But as discussed above, I don't know how I really feel about doing any sort of rewatch at this time. But if I do have more to say, it'll be posted here and tagged appropriately.

My Mame BLs Masterpost where you can find my posts about the other episodes as well as some thoughts about the novels

[voltronimus-prime]

Murder Drones Hot Take

Oil does not equal blood 1:1 and worker Drones should not be freaked out by seeing or drinking it.

While we're not given an exact breakdown of how a Worker Drone's body functions, we know they've got motors, and we know they've got a lot of power running through them.

This means they need to keep cool, and they need to keep their motors and joints running smoothly.

While oil as coolant shouldn't require frequent top ups unless there's a leak, oil as lubricant can require refills as the old oil loses viscosity and as gunk builds up reducing its ability to properly keep things moving.

Worker Drones, particularly the ones on Copper 9, are in a very rough environment, where particulates building up would be a constant issue.

Combined with the temperature flip flops from going between a heavy work environment to the blizzards of the outside, and I'm sure there'd be some interesting chemical results.

Worker Drones would have to top off/change their oil semi-regularly. Contrary to what seems to be a popular belief(?), they wouldn't be able to regenerate their own, they're literally just robots.

Multiple stories have the Disassembly Drones feeding off of workers and simply stopping short of draining them, and then later on the victim is fine, but that only works in vampire stories because human bodies can replenish the missing blood. Worker Drones can't do that.

Worker Drones would have to have a supply of oil they use to keep themselves going, meaning there'd be options for helping Disassembly Drones with their artificially increased consumption without having to do worker blood drives, unless something really goes wrong at least.

On the topic of oil loss, it also wouldn't result in a semi-quick fatal error like a person bleeding out. The two main symptoms would be difficulties moving as the low oil pressure means delicate mechanisms start grinding due to lack of proper lubrication, and a slow increase in internal temperature due to lack of coolant.

However considering these are robots built for industrial use and not purposefully sabotaged robo-vampires, they wouldn't be as vulnerable to that since they wouldn't be generating the same kinds of heat anyway.

As great as the "Pushing through the pain, ignoring overheating warnings and fighting off lightheaded-ness as your cpu underclocks itself to keep the heat down." stories are;

there's a lot of untapped potential in "Pushing through the pain as your joints feel like they're tearing themselves apart, horrible grinding sounds as metal scrapes against metal. Fighting to take one more step as the joints start seizing."

I don't know, it just always bugged me when writers show Worker Drones as horrified or disgusted at the idea of needing to consume oil, usually in the context of getting solver powers and needing to drink oil to keep cool. Obviously the hunger and the predator instincts would be freaky, but seeing a can of oil and thinking "I should drink that." would not be weird.

I'll probably play with the formatting/add and remove things to try to make this more readable later but let me know what you think.

[jesuistrestriste]

the eater!art fic u just published.... mhm yeah !! sorry if this is too freaky but oh my god him whining and shit, fucking reader on the floor.... with the literal DEAD guy nearby..... i must admit it tickled my fancy (sorry if this is worded weird i haven't slept in like three days)

!!! ♥️

okay so that part of the fic was unintentional—because i didn’t really want to make art + reader move somewhere else when they were already in the house (w/ said dead guy)—but then it became intentional. i thought about it a bit more and like.. yea! they’re already in this kind of primal state of being, having eaten for the first time in maybe months, so it makes sense that they just cant turn off any other instincts and start having this sloppy, animalistic, sweaty sex (even if it was just touching and rubbing). plus my eater!art desperately needed comfort in that exact moment and he sought it out the way he needed to with eater!reader, even if it made him feel weird because yes, again, their victim was nearby. idk

[targaryenofrph]

Short N Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter Sentence Starters

Some of these will be NSFW. Change the pronouns and tense as needed for your verses.

I leave quite an impression, five feet to be exact

Every time you breathe his air, just know I was already there

You can have him if you like, I've been there, done that once or twice

I know I have good judgment

I know I have good taste

It's funny and it's ironic that only I feel that way

I promise them that you're different and everyone makes mistakes

I heard that you're an actor, so act like a stand-up guy

Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight

Please, please, please don't prove I'm right

Please, please, please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another

I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker

Well, I have a fun idea, babe, maybe just stay inside

I know you're craving some fresh air, but the ceiling fan is so nice

We could live so happily if no one knows that you're with me

Don't mistake my nice for naive

You should stay in my good graces

No one's more amazing at turning loving into hatred

I won't give a fuck about you

I know you're not the sharpest tool in the shed

Left me with a lot of shit to second-guess

If that was casual, then I'm an idiot

I'm looking for an answer in-between the lines

You're lying to yourself if you think we're fine

You're confused and I'm upset, but we never talk about it

You found God at your ex's house

Seems like overnight, I'm just the bitch you hate now

We never talk it through how you guilt-tripped me to open up to you

Without her even being here, she's back in your life

Last week, you didn't have any doubts. This week, you're holding space for her tongue in your mouth

Your car drove itself from L.A. to her thighs

Damn it, she looks kinda like the girl you outgrew

Who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?

I can't relate to desperation

My 'give a fucks' are on vacation

Too bad your ex don't do it for ya

I'm working late 'cause I'm a singer

He looks so cute wrapped around my finger

You're so dumb and poetic

It's just what I fall for, I like the aesthetic

Every self-help book, you've already read it

Cherry-pick lines like they're words you invented

Just 'cause you talk like one doesn't make you a man

Fuck with my head like it's some kind of fetish

Guess I'll end this life alone

I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts that pass right through me

This boy doesn't even know the difference between "there", "their", and "they are"

Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing, you just get it

You make me wanna make you fall in love

Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?

I know you want my touch for life

If you love me right, then who knows?

One of me is cute, but two, though?

You make me wanna make you fall in love

I showed my friends, then we high-fived

Sorry if you feel objectified

Give me more than just some butterflies

Wanna try out some freaky positions?

Have you ever tried this one?

There's no need to pretend

I've never seen an ugly truth that I can't bend

I'm stupid, but I'm clever

Yeah, I can make a shitshow look a whole lot like forever and ever

We love to read the cold, hard facts and swear they're incorrect

We love to mistake butterflies for cardiac arrest

Don't smile because it happened, cry because it's over

You think it's happy hour, for me it's not

I want you to miss me

Try working on you

I promise you'll be much happier if you do

[pathetimika]

hello, ciao, здрасти, hola, other greetings, i am here today in ur inbox to tell you some stuff that i've been wanting to say for ages, but first, a disclaimer:

i am not saying any of this to try and be mean or attack you or anything, you're a preteen so that would be fucking weird on my end, i don't wanna be beefing with someone who can't even get a driver's permit, i'm just here to voice my feelings & the issues i've had with you for months.

speaking of those issues: i don't like you!!! at all!!! just getting that off my chest first and foremost. i don't think you're a bad person or anything, but like,,, you're weeeeiiiird dude, and not in a fun quirky way!!! you've been imitating me & my friend cola (and i believe another mutual of mine, but i don't want to assume since i think you two are friends?) for months, and we both hate it. me especially, because i don't even know you!!! at all!!! we aren't mutuals, we aren't friends, you're a just random 13 year old who's been imitating me, my typing habits, my art habits, my music taste, my editing style, my actions, and pretty much anything i do, and it's fucking creepy!!! again, i'm not saying this to be mean, but i need you to know how uncomfortable & freaky this is to be on the recieving end of. 

going into more detail: i say i want to make a mitsuba ita bag, you go and make a mitsuba ita bag directly after. i use a highly specific kaomoji, you go and use that exact same kaomoji. i use a specific brush in my artwork that is *custom* that i made & discovered all by myself, you use that same brush. i use specific texture lines in my art, you use those same lines. i draw mitsuba with bobby pins on the left side of his hair, you draw those same bobby pins. i use lots of stickers in my posts, you also start using lots of stickers in your posts. i post about devi mccallion & use her songs, you also go and start using devi mccallion songs. i post about drawing in the notes app, you also start drawing in the notes app with the exact same tool & color as me. and weirdest of all, you reblog whatever mitsubas i reblog except you don't reblog them *from* me like a normal person, you go out of your way to go to the original poster's blog and reblog it from there to make it look like you discovered it yourself. at first i tried to give you the benefit of the doubt with that and go "hmmm maybe she's also just checking the tags like i am," but i can't do that when i reblogged something from *three fucking years ago* that you also reblogged directly after me. what is even the point of this???? i'm genuinely wondering here btw, it's baffling. like srsly please tell me, i need to know. hell, even your blog color is the exact same kind of pink as mine!! it feels like everything i do you try to copy in some way, and it freaks me the fuck out. i want to be my own *singular* person, i don't want you trying to be a weird doppelganger of me. please stop it. it's fucking weird, dude, like that's really all there is to it. it's creepy and weird.

and of course it's not just me you're doing this with, you're also doing it to cola. don't think i didn't notice how you bought the exact same plush as him after she went and bought that plush beforehand, and don't think i didn't notice how you imitate her editing style too. that's also creepy. stop trying to be other people and just develop your personality normally, it'll be better for you and everyone else who has to deal with you too.

and i would *maybe* understand if this was just innocent admiration & borrowing traits from people you find cool or whatever, 13 year olds can get overzealous in that department sometimes and it doesn't really mean anything, but it's not just that. you go out of your way to deny the fact you've been imitating me even though it's clear as day that you've been doing this and it's the *only* way any of your behavior would make sense, which makes it impossible for me to be sympathetic to it. if you could just be honest and own up to your actions, this would be so much easier and i wouldn't have to be writing this whole thing as bluntly as i am. but you're going out of your way to lie about your intentions, which i find not only shitty on your end, but suspicious in regards to what your true intentions are, and also really fucking creepy. dishonesty is one of my least favorite traits in a person, and it's exactly why i dislike you. if you really were just a fan of me who found me cool & wanted to borrow traits from me as a result of that or whatever, you'd be fine stating this and you would be fine admitting that you took inspiration from my art (and literally everything that i do). but you're not fine with that, you explicitly state that it makes you upset when people bring up the fact you've been doing all this. which is really fucking weird, and exactly what stops this from just being a kid getting a bit overzealous with their admiration of an artist & just not realizing, and makes it become the creepy ass behavior that it really is. you realize you're doing this, you realize it's weird, you don't like to own up to it as a result of realizing it's weird, which is exactly what makes it so damn weird. which is also exactly why i want you to stop it & leave me alone.

ummmmm yea i think that covers everything? by the way i really am sorry if this is all too much at once, it's not my intention to overwhelm you or anything. i've had to deal with you & your creepy behavior in my periphery for *months* so i just have to be as direct about it as possible & lay everything out so you can get the point. i don't care to hide the issues i have with someone for the sake of being "polite" or "friendly," especially when you've been as creepy as this and it's like,,, an actual fucking issue. multiple people have straight up told me that they *thought you were me at first,* and that should be enough to let you know that this is fucking weird and it needs to stop.

honestly i've been fighting the urge to block you for *ages,* but 1. i know you like my art (which is why you've been imitating it lol) so i would feel bad preventing you from seeing it, and 2. i have a policy of only blocking bigots & other genuinely terrible people, which i honestly don't think you are. i think you're just a creepy preteen that desperately needs therapy & a break from the internet. so i'm giving you a chance here to just improve yourself a little & be a more pleasant person for the people around you online and whatever. or keep being creepy, idk, you're free to do whatever you want. just leave me the fuck alone lol. anyway, you're 13 so i don't wanna place too much pressure on you or anything, but please consider all i've said here and make what you will of it. i don't fucking know man i'm just tired and wanna voice all this directly to you, get it over with and whatevs. have a nice day lol

Soooo uhmm it's completely fine if you don't like me.. it's fine if you think I'm weird, but I am NOT imitating anyone, and I'm being completely honest, please don't force me to admit something that's not true! ^_^ if I do anything that you do, it's not because *YOU* do it, it's because I JUST LIKED IT, if you didn't want me to do it, you should've just told me right away! I'm not doing any of this intentionally, I'm not trying to copy anyone, I would feel terrible doing that, so please for the love of god leave me alone and let me live my life as myself

Oh, also! Sure, I do take inspiration from your art (more like.. I did, since I just don't really care anymore) and I can admit that, but I can't admit that I'm copying you and everything you do on purpose because that's fucking weird...?

Okay, about Cola! Let's start with the plush! People can own the same things, and I did NOT buy it just because Cola bought it, I just like Mitsuba and wanted a plush of him, I do not give a shit if Cola owns something Mitsuba related or not, I can still have it (+ I was already thinking about buying the plush before so idk...)

Now about the reblogs, I don't really use Tumblr that much, I honestly just have it to check out your art, so the things I reblog are mostly things *you* reblogged, and I reblog it from the original poster because..... Well I thought that's how I'm supposed to do it? I don't know shit about Tumblr.... Sorry

And about the ita bag, I didn't do it just because you said you would, I just thought "heey that's a good idea I should do that too" so I did! (+ That's quite literally what I replied when you commented so...)

Overall, I'm not trying to imitate you or Cola, I didn't start listening to Devi McCalion because you like her, I started listening to her because I liked her music, I don't take that much inspiration from your art anymore, because I noticed that's completely not what I'm going for with my art, I never wanted to copy anyone... Sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable or anything like that, I think you should've just told me right away instead of "dealing" with it, please don't force me to admit something that's not true, and PLEASE don't CONVINCE me that I did all of this intentionally. Idk if I have something else to say, sorry if this is incoherent, sorry if I missed anything, I just woke up.. have a good day too

[tsukumocest]

Hey, it's darumi-amemiya!! Can't reply to your Darumi theory post for some reason and it's a sideblog so!

Genuinely I felt the same way seeing them!! I was like "They're either already related and just not mentioning it, or they're gonna get really close in the span of just a few days. They 100% kill eachother to fulfill the mutual bloodlust thing!"

DARUMI AMEMIYA IN MY ASKBOX HOLY SHIT (<- I didn’t read the dash at first. this was still a valid reaction)

I need darumi and yugamu to be besties or kiss. or hate each other because they’re too similar. they gotta have something. they’re set up too much already to not have some important dynamic. oh please kodaka don’t be baiting me

I WANT EM TO KILL EACH OTHERRRR and actually they might. because todays login bonus was interesting

we already saw fish head darumi and now the new fish head is interesting. what makes me think yugamu did it is that he apparently knows the exact kind of fish. also he’s just definitely freaky and the most likely suspect for mass murder. so basically I think he used his pharmaceutical knowledge to somehow turn everyone into fish and then murder them. this game is peak

[canmom]

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere: 013-032

Previously: 000-012, spinoff post about entropy [all Flower posts]

Time for more flower...

...no, not that flower!

Unless...?

Welcome back to my liveblog of sorts for web novel The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere by @lurinatftbn! Shout out to the Flower discord for giving me such a kind welcome. You're making me want to go all out on this liveblog, but, I musn't...! So I'm going to try to just comment on things that jumped out as especially noteworthy rather than write down everything that went down.

Especially since... a lot happened in these chapters. We have a perfect androgyne tree thing! Magical duels! Questionable student/teacher relationships! Steamed hams! Intense political arguments at dinner! Metafictional assurance of fair play! Prosognostic events! Transgender AIs! And of course........

a murder!!!!!

...ok that one was kinda obvious. But the first body has hit the floor! I don't feel like I have nearly enough information yet to start speculating about who might have dunnit.

That's a lie. It was definitely Kinzo Ushiromiya. That bastard.

So, from the top!

We're introduced to a few of the members of the Order, with by far the most screen time going to Su's mentor and ah, kinda-girlfriend? Neferuaten. And like, damn, lot going on there!

Before I get into the meat of that - first the bit where I search a character's name on Wikipedia. Neferuaten's name is most likely a reference to an Egyptian female king/pharaoh (a rank that's apparently distinct, conceptually, from a queen) variously called Ankhkheperure-Merit-Neferkheperure, Waenre, and Aten Neferneferuaten. Most often shortened to just Neferneferuaten.

Her exact historical identity seems to be a little unclear - she may or may not be the same person as Nefertiti for example. Whoever she was, she apparently reigned for a couple of years around 1334–1332 BCE, and was then succeeded by the famous child king Tutankhamun. Or maybe Smenkhkare came in between them? Seems to be a matter of some debate. Girl really needed to leave a few more vast and trunkless legs of stone so we can figure this stuff out.

In any case, this version of Neferuaten goes way back with Su. Her introduction is to launch a magical attack on our poor girl while she's contemplating the 'everblossom'. One of those classic 'master surprise attacks the student to see how much they've learned' deals. This servers as a fine exposition for the exact mechanics of magical duels.

Zettai! Ummei! Mokushiroku!

Let's briefly note how magical duels and magic works here, since it seems like it will be very relevant later.

The more we learn about magic, the more explicit is that this system is not some natural property of the universe, but something that's designed by the mysterious Ironworkers. It seems like it's kind of an API to the Ironworker admin console. The Ironworkers wanted to make it difficult to do magic on human bodies, and therefore they designed a system for detecting what is 'human', based on three heuristics - anatomical, motion and neurological.

Humans, being the freaky little hackers that we are, of course set about figuring out how to bypass this system, and created standardised means, consisting of three spells, termed [x]-beguiling arcana. In a sense the three criteria are something like three 'hitpoints': the primary way to win a duel is to get all three spells off, thus making your opponent vulnerable to magic.

To achieve this, you can either speak the words of a spell or sign them by drawing them with your fingers - i.e. one way or the other express the appropriate string of symbols. This is risky because if you're interrupted at the wrong time, your spell can backfire and blow up, and getting a spell right requires precise pronunciation and also rapid mental maths. So the general 'gameplay' of magical duels involves attempting to disrupt the opponent's focus and aim, while fast-casting the spells that are most familiar to you.

We're introduced to a few spells that could be useful in battle, such as

Matter-Shifting (telekinesis spell with a geometric bent, used to move a cube of dirt to act as a smokescreen),

Matter-Annihilating (deletes stuff),

Entropy-Denying (essentially a shield that freezes objects and fluids in relative motion),

Air-Thrusting (creates a shockwave air blast),

Light-Warping (fucks up the light for visual cover),

World-Deafening (mutes all sound, which can interrupt casts)

Entropy-Accelerating (disrupts coherency, causing rapid aging-like effects - can be used on a 'higher plane' to disrupt all magic in an area)

Entropy-Reversing (rewinds matter along its path of motion - reference to entropy here seems a tad dubious but w/e)

It's clearly a pretty carefully thought out system - I appreciate that it's approached from the point of view of someone trying to exploit the shit out of the system and figure out what the real meta would be. It does kinda seem like if you got the drop on a wizard and shot them with a sniper rifle they'd be toast, but we'll see later that much more powerful weapons than mere chemical firearms exist in this world, and presumably in a combat situation everyone would have entropy-denying (or equivalent) shields up, so maybe that's a moot point.

Anyway, we are later informed by the closest thing to authorial voice that everything we're told here about magic can be assumed to be axiomatically true, similar to the red text in Umineko. Which pretty heavily foreshadows that this is going to be on the test, if you like!

the magical metaphysics

With apologies to Neferuaten, who will get more detailed comments shortly, there are some other big revelations about magic and the nature of this world that I should talk about while we're on the subject of magic!

In the last post I wondered whether casting magic is an innate quality or a 'skill issue' situation. It turns out the answer is sorta 'neither'. In fact, it's something that has to be unlocked, using special equipment and a particular ritual. The cost of this ritual is not yet entirely spelled out, but we definitely get an inkling. It's rather ominously implied by this exchange in chapter 22:

"We're supposed to want to save people, to make the world better. To defend a bunch of people who practically committed murder--" "You're a murderer too, dour girl." I stopped, and blinked. It took me some moments to process the words. They'd come from Lilith, who now seemed to have finished with her dessert. Now she was just slowly swirling her spoon around in the last remnants of the chocolate sludge on the plate and, occasionally, dipping a finger into her cream bowl and licking little bits of it up. Her expression was irritated, but disconnected. "All arcanists are," she said. "It's how it happens. So having fights over moral high ground like this is very stupid and annoying. Please stop."

In the same chapter, Su uses something called an 'acclimation log', in which she records her 'association' with a series of diary entries from her childhood self. It all suggests that Su's present consciousness has somehow taken over the body of another character, who we could maybe call original!Su.

A few chapters later, we find out what's the deal with prosognostic events. In fact we get a pretty extensive exposition. It turns out that iron is magical in this universe, providing access to higher dimensions, FTL and all sorts of shit. However, because the Mimikos and other worlds are running on a 'substrate' of iron - sort of like a simulation - we are told this is why they can't recursively include iron within. And since the human body includes a certain amount of iron (most notably, in the haemoglobin protein in red blood cells), it is not possible to fully realise the human body inside these artificial worlds.

a self-referential quibble

Here's how Su puts it:

A substrate cannot exist within itself. That sounds awkward when I put it so directly, but it's not too hard to understand if you think about it in abstract-- A foundation obviously can't support another foundation of equal weight and nature, because… Well, it would make nonsense of the whole premise. A book is a device for storing information, but it cannot contain within its letters everything about itself and what it contains, because that is already more than it contains. A box cannot hold another box of equal size, unless it is bent or otherwise changed. A mind cannot hold another mind…

On the face of it, this seems on the face of it... not entirely true, at least in some domains? You can run a virtual machine program on a computer, representing any particular combination of hardware and software, which is from the perspective of software 'on the inside', essentially indistinguishable from a computer running on 'bare metal' hardware. The only real difference is that operating the virtual machine has some computational overhead, so it will be slower. The more virtual machines you nest, the slower it gets.

But 'from the inside', the only way to tell which layer of virtual machine you're on would be to refer to some kind of external clock signal (which can trivially be spoofed) and notice that it's running slower than it should!

We could also mention here the subject of quines, which are programs which print their own source code.

Let's consider Su's examples. The book that completely describes its contents might be able to get around this problem in a similar fashion to a quine, by exploiting redundancy and self-reference.

For example, let's try creating a string that completely describes its own content, using a quine-style technique.

This string begins with a sentence followed by its quotation, and then 100 letter ws; the sentence is: "This string begins with a sentence followed by its quotation, and then 100 letter ws; the sentence is: " wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

In fact the '100 letter ws' could literally be the entire string that follows. Suppose the length of the 'real content' of the book is S, and the length of the rest of the 'metadata sentence' describing properties of the book is M; then the total length of the book is 2M+3S.

You can add as much additional information to the 'metadata' string as you like, provided you quote it again afterwards. If you don't like having a book be three times the length it needs to be, you could compress the 'real content' string using an algorithm like DEFLATE, and include instructions in the 'metadata' on how to decompress it. (Text tends to compress really well.) This is where we run up into notions probably all too familiar to rats, or indeed anyone who recently read Seth Dickinson's new novel Exordia, such as Kolmogorov complexity.

But... I think this might well be intentional. Given how common notions like 'stacks of simulations' and 'self-reference' are in rat space, I suspect we may be being misled! The 'rules' of the game - more on that in a moment - say that Su won't deliberately lie to us, and won't withold information without saying so, but her perceptions could be mistaken. Maybe she's been given a false explanation of why the world works the way it does.

It's also totally possible that while the general point (you can't contain a thing in itself) may have some edge cases, the specific instance - you can't build a universe on a giant higher-dimensional iron spike and still have that universe contain iron - may still be true. We don't know the first thing about building universes using magic iron after all.

anyway... the Deal with Prosognisia!

The Ironworkers had a hacky workaround to the 'no iron' rule: they had a few tens of thousands of preserved human bodies on board their Tower of Asphodel. Asphodel, incidentally, is a genus of flower, said to carpet the Asphodel Meadows, one of the three divisions of the realm of Hades. (In their game, Supergiant decided to convert it into a lava zone.) It looks rather pretty actually!

So, they were able to instantiate these bodies in their rebuilt worlds by sort of making them into a reference to one of these stored human bodies. Here's Su again, chapter 26:

Some human bodies, or at least the impression of them and the iron within, had been preserved as part of the Tower, frozen in a timeless place. And because of that, it was eventually discovered it was possible for them to exist in the artificed planes as a sort of stable paradox. After all, while a book can't exist within itself, it can still reference other stuff it does contain internally, even if it makes for somewhat awkward reading. A few tweaks and workarounds solved the problem of the iron associated with that human body staying a part of it, and just like that, human beings were walking something at least akin to the earth once again. However, this only permitted replicas of those bodies within the Tower to exist. The creation of new ones remained impossible, and births not incubated by anima taken by the same mechanism would inevitably fail. And there were far fewer preserved bodies than minds; scarcely more than ten thousand or so for each party.

So every human born in the Mimikos is forked from one of these human bodies. For... mysterious reasons, if you recognise that someone nearby is forked from the same body as you, you both straight up die. If you touch such a person (a 'contact paradox') it's even worse, and all the iron in your body disappears, leaving behind a 'greenish sludge', which seems to be a severe enough disaster to cause deaths of nearby people as well.

(This is a little surprising given that the iron in the human body is only about 60 parts per million by mass, but it would kinda destroy your blood's ability to carry oxygen, so it would definitely be pretty fatal.)

The 'distinction treatment' we heard about is able to mitigate the risks somewhat - with quick medical intervention and time magic, it's possible to allow the people involved to make a full recovery. An interesting wrinkle is that it's implied either Ophelia or new character Balthazar is trans, because normally people of the same gender can't share an upstream body.

That definitely leads to a very fascinating fucked up medical emergency scene, but the reason I'm discussing it now is because it's got bearing on this big-deal question of 'what's so fucked up about arcanists anyway'...

so what's so fucked up about arcanists anyway?

Having finally answered one of the major questions, we can start zeroing in on another. In a flashback scene in chapter 30, we learn that the 'original' bodies have innate access to the magic API, but when you're given a distinct identity at birth you quickly lose it. To have your sv_cheats 1 restored, you have to go through a process that, it would seem, downloads a new mind into your head from one of those original bodies...

The man sat back a little in his chair, crossing his legs idly. "It's intimidating in concept, but please do understand that, in the overwhelming majority of cases, there are no observable effects whatsoever. Around half of the individuals who go through it don't even lose consciousness, and of the other, four out of five don't report any abnormalities when they reawaken. And even of the remaining 10%, the symptoms are negligible for nine out of ten-- Fleeting false memories, minor alterations in temperament that self correct, usually in under a day..." "And the others?" I inquired. "The remaining one percent." He considered this question for a few moments, obviously choosing his words carefully. "The technical term for the rare cases where confusion persists in the longer term is pneumaic assimilation failure. We have a program for treatment, using a combination of various phychological and medical means. It's time-tested. It brings people back to themselves quickly, usually within only only a few months at most." 'Confusion.' 'Brings people back to themselves.' I wasn't feeling fond of the way he couched everything in euphemism. It wasn't helping. "What do you mean by 'it brings people back to themselves'..?" I furrowed my brow. "They just... Forget everything?" "Not immediately," he said. "But they lose a sense of association with... Well, with anything that shouldn't be there, and that leads those memories and feelings to fade over time." He smiled. "The human mind is very adept at excising anything it judges to be out of place. All it needs is a push in the right direction."

The new mind tends to rapidly adjust to its new context, connecting to the memories stored in the body and assuming continuity of identity. But in rare cases it fails! Nuts! And we can infer poor Su appears to be one such case.

Presumably this is what Lilith is referring to when she says that all arcanists are murderers. It's not clear if there is continuity of consciousness when you get /mode +o'd - since you (usually) inherit the memories it is perhaps hard to say whether such a thing is meaningful.

In any case, Su's mega-guilt complex, the reason she seems to want to visit the mysterious egomancer Samium, seems to be at least partly that she's evicted the previous consciousness to inhabit this body. I don't think that's the whole story though! Her grandad seems to be involved somehow too. I don't think Su is literally the reincarnation of her grandad, because it seems unlikely that he'd be motivated to carry out ego suicide like this.

introducing teacher mommy

All those major revelations aside, let's get back to the subject of Neferuaten, aka 'Grandmaster', Su's old mentor in entropic thanatomancy. She quickly establishes herself as one of the most likeable of the inner circle of the Order - she's funny, understanding, generally affable and a little self-effacing. Su definitely puts her on a massive pedestal - though other characters such as Ran find her a little more sussy.

I gotta say, the author is really good at writing old academics. Each one of them comes across as strongly believable, distinctive, motivated and flawed characters. I'll talk a bit about the others in a bit but first let's talk age gap yuri! lmao

Anyway, at the end of chapter 20 we get this:

Then she leaned over and, in an impulsive, almost casual gesture, kissed me on the lips. Before turning, heading to the exit.

'Huh!' thinks the reader. 'That sure is an unusual thing for someone's teacher to do.'

It is quite a few chapters later before Su gets round to telling us a bit more about what's going on...

After that, we met outside of the university more and more often, her becoming sort of a source of emotional support. At some point, I became aware that what was happening was probably quite inappropriate. It's not like I was underage, having turned 25 two years prior, but she was my professor. But I'd been bad at making friends in both of... Well, in both my past contexts, and I'd felt so lonely living in Tem-Aphat, away from Ran and any reminders of the resolutions we'd made. And it all somehow felt so natural. Things got out of hand. One day, I'd had a fight with my father over the logic bridge, and had got a little drunk when I was due to see her. I don't know exactly what I was thinking, but I did something uncharacteristic of me. Inappropriate. But she didn't respond in the way I'd expected. To my shock, she didn't act like it was inappropriate at all. It wasn't as if we ended up dating. That would never have worked, and I was pretty sure she was past wanting that sort of thing anyway. On some levels, she always kept her distance. But it became something we did together, an avenue of private expression that became part of her support for me - and mine, eventually for her.

Su then expresses a bunch of guilt over the whole thing. (Not least because it's a 'selfish' thing she's doing in a body that, implicitly, she doesn't think of as hers.)

The issue of age here is interesting lol. Definitely my gut reaction, and probably the one the story is aiming to elicit, is to be a bit 'wuh oh' by all this, maybe think of Makima wrapping Denji round her finger. That said, by vastly expanding the range of human ages, it's definitely poking pretty hard at our intuitions about what's 'appropriate'. The vibes are like... the students are constantly referred to as 'the kids' by the hundreds-year-old wizards. I don't think we're told Su's current age, but if she was 27 in this flashback, and in the present she says a 29 year old computer is close in age to her, so I would guess currently early 30s. Neferuaten's age is not stated at this point but given her position she's def a few hundred years up there.

The vibe though is that Su is infatuated with someone who has vastly more emotional maturity and experience of the world, not to mention social power over her, and that person is all too happy to encourage it.

The way Su tells it, it sounds like this fling went pretty ok for them? But I definitely feel like things are probably not gonna stay ok, given how clearly the 'inappropriate' nature of this relationship has been foregrounded!

Dark yuri is literally one of the things I'm here for, so I'm looking forward to the fireworks lmao.

Anyway, besides that, we get a bit of a sense of Neferuaten's ideology. She actually shares a lot of Su's skepticism about the viability of the whole immortality project. She makes a big point of making sure the gang get a sense of the order's culture and rituals, apparently viewing this as a chance for their project to be judged by outsiders for the first time. On a personal level, she raises the issue of if the project might be able to save only the young - whether they might be the last humans to not become immortal. Nef's attitude seems to be that she'd be good with that - something she clashes with Kam over.

Otherwise, she's kinda... world-weary, I suppose you could say. She seems to look at the firey youngsters with an attitude along the lines of 'wish I still had that'. She does love to perform to an audience, asking leading questions to set up some lesson or another.

She's a fun character, I enjoy reading her a lot.

Also she seems to have made a sapient AI in the basement! Only everyone says it's definitely not sapient - it is in some sense not agentic, it can't change its motivation, allegedly. Still, it definitely has a 'passing the Turing test' sorta vibe.

don't mention the war

Besides Nef, we get introduced to a few of the remaining members of the class, and also the masters of the Order. Of note is Bardiya, the former revolutionary. He's a very 'speak his mind without preamble' sort of character, which can land him in hot water.

So, returning to Chapter 22, we have a really juicy scene in which a dinner conversation gets very heated after Bardiya mentions his role in the war, provoking a political row with Durvasa, a member of the order. It's a really well observed social dynamics scene - the characters dancing around the topic and the way a row is almost avoided, and then it isn't - Bard's determination, Kam's brown-nosing, Su getting drawn in against her better judgement in a deeply relatable way.

Thanks to this convo, we get a sense of the events of the revolution! So, as @nightpool helpfully informed me, I actually got things a bit mixed up in my rough timeline last time. The 'gerontocrats' were not a feature of the distant-past imperial era - rather it's a figure identified as an oppressor class by a very recent movement, still within living memory for even the youngsters.

The events broadly seem to reflect something like the Paris Commune. There was a famine under the hand of a 'Meritist' city council, killing thousands, which led to a popular uprising let by a 'paritist' movement. The paritists executed a handful of people and redistributed property based primarily on age, intending to break the power of the 'gerontocrats' who had neglected the 'younger generations' by hoarding resources. The Administration overseeing the whole world alliance then cracked down hard - deploying a poison gas that, though it was intended to be nonlethal, turned out to have unexpected lethal side effects.

In the aftermath of the revolution, it seems many reforms were made - besides relaxing the rules on what magic is banned, they changed the equation of scarcity so that food could be replicated more readily? Little unclear on this part. Su mentions that the situation is different now than it was when the Alliance was built, with the material scarcity mostly gone, but clearly there was a famine in recent memory.

Anyway, there is naturally a big generational divide over this. The older generations lived through some pretty fucked-up sounding wars, called things like the 'Great Interplanar War', and in the aftermath built a political system that was supposed to secure peace. (c.f. League of Nations, UN). Although she broadly sympathises with the revolutionaries, Su seems to extends the older generation a fair bit of understanding for having built this system and fearing what would happen if it were destroyed. Though the most relativist view comes from the mouth of Neferuaten:

"I think a common problem with inter-generational communication is an inability to really convey context and scope," Neferuaten said. I noted she didn't actually convey if Kam's understanding of what her point had been was correct or not. "Someone who lived through the Interluminary Strife might tell a young person from the modern day that they have no understanding of hunger, only for the latter to stubbornly retort that they lived through that Ikaryonic famine that preluded the civil dispute… Except that one was a catastrophe that lasted decades and killed tens of millions, while the other slew less than a thousand." She sighed. "People try to relate the experiences of others to their own lives in order to contextualize their understanding of the world and how it might be bettered, but those second-hand experiences inevitably become caricatures, conveying no useful truths. It makes me wonder if human beings, both young and old, are capable of learning from history at all."

Around here is raised the question of a person's political development - the arc from a young person's anger at the state of the world and determination to tear it aside for something better, against the resignation of an older person who fears losing what is already there, however flawed. (We might note of course that there exist young conservatives and old radicals. Circumstances have a lot to do with it.)

Of course, with this whole 'gerontocrat' business at stake already, the mission of the Order hoping to achieve immortality is naturally cast in a dubious light. Fun conflict. On the one hand we have 'can immortality be achieved, and what will it cost', on the other 'who will benefit from it, if it is'! So much narrative force is obtained by politicising this, attaching it to characters with personal motivations and histories, instead of leaving it up to an abstract 'living forever good/bad'.

But it's not all political debates and shagging your teacher...

Over the course of these chapters we get a sense of what the order's been up to!

Let's talk flowers. Just prior to the meeting with Nef, Su comes across an enormous freaky plantlike thing. This turns out to be an experiment to create a being that can survive in even the most extreme environments, like the bottom of the ocean - an attempt to demonstrate that immortality is possible at least in principle. This lifeform is termed the Nittaimalaru or 'Everblossom'. It seems like a pretty good candidate for being the story's eponymous Flower - symbolically, the underwater immortality-granting plant that appears in the Epic of Gilgamesh.

It's worth noting here that 'indefinite lifespan' is actually not entirely impossible in our natural world. I was talking about this with a friend who raised some interesting points:

reading the first post i wanna bring up that while the concept of cancer is fundamental to any multicellular organism the presence of cancer as a problem is actually pretty niche. same with telomere degradation, which is a purposeful anti-cancer measurement. like pretty much all perennial plant life is capable of absolute immortality. while the lobster grows forever until it can no longer use its legs to push its great weight along the sand towards food, if a tree overshoots its growth it's more than happy to break off its unnecessaries, though with both of them at a certain point it's always good to have help after a while. as mammals we're very obsessed with the concept of like ending death as this sort of ultimate goal, prime directive, whatever, when that shit was deliberately turned on in the first place (assigning intent to evolution sue me), because in terms of cost benefit it gave us something in return that we as students of medicine or biology are still not fully grasping.

After a little more discussion:

@play-now-my-lord wrote:

even if humans weren't causing climate change, climactic fluctuations over centuries upend a lot of what is normal in specific areas. if the people on a farmstead in bronze age sweden lived 500 years, the methods and habits they internalized when they were young would habitually be incorrect for the conditions as they existed, the weather, the soil

other friend:

that's how most trees die in the end the root system operates as a weak parallel to the tree's neurons, with a more physiological bent than say our chemical one. patterns around balance, nutrient access, hydrology, and wind are ingrained and learned over centuries and the more regular/consistent that cycle is the more a root will grow. if a tree's roots are built around buttressing from a wind tunnel due to forest conditions and the trees around it fall for whatever reason, it has to relearn what used to be a hundred year old certainty that it needs to lean against the westerly gale every winter, etc. - this is generally a pretty brittle process altogether when it comes to the base of the plant n stuff

some caveats:

should be noted i overlooked a lot of nuance about perennial mortality, like, some plants are more used to investing into survival than others i'm thinking of like how beech bark disease doesn't affect the roots of the beech, so the trunk dies but new shoots continue to grow out and eventually catch the disease and repeat, so the plant is essentially still immortal but forced into a perpetual state of adolescence. but i think for a great number of trees if the tree falls it just goes "eh the rot consumes us all " and dies

Among mammals, we could also note the cancer resistance of the naked mole rat, which loves to defy all sorts of generalisations (also one of the only non-arthropod eusocial animals). They're not exactly immortal, living around 37 years on average, but their chance of dying at any given year is pretty much flat rather than increasing with age.

Of course, longevity and resilience are different things. Nef mentions the resilience of tardigrades as an inspiration. As far as their experiment goes, the 'everblossom' is not an entirely successful experiment, requiring twice-yearly maintenance to address an imbalance.

Given how prominently it features, and the invocation of Gilgamesh, it seems pretty damn likely that the everblossom will in fact be a key to immortality, or something like it.

Religion exists after all!

Other parts of the facility are also pretty funky. We learn that it was patterned after the old headquarters of the Order, which was destroyed when they got found out; that headquarters was built in an old church compound. What sort of thing does a church worship in this world? Actually it's kinda goffic as fuck. Makes Catholicism look downright tame. It's a polytheistic religion and the deities involved are figures like this...

In the center of the circle was a statue, about 8 feet high, and of the kind of ornate-but-formulaic design that characterized art from the Second Resurrection. It depicted a tall, skinny woman, though her two sides, left and right, were very different in nature. The left was beautiful and youthful in a generic, almost ethnicity-less way, dressed in the most delicate of silk peploi, with long and unrealistically tidy curls falling elegantly over her shoulders. Her lip was curled into a gentle half-smile, kind but slightly mysterious, teasing. Her right... Well, her right, to say the least, was very different. On that side, she appeared to be skinless, although it was hard to tell with a statue; I recalled it being a matter of hot debate among the boys in my class back in secondary school. It was possible she was simply incredibly emaciated, or that there were supposed to be growths - like scales - erupting from her flesh. Her hair was made up of hateful, eyeless wyrms, biting and hissing at each other, and her flesh, which was naked save for a tasteful rag covering one area in particular, was covered in numerous stab wounds, bleeding openly. As for her face, it was grim and wide eyed. Mournful and contemptful both. I recognized the figure depicted at once; I passed one of her temples whenever I went to the distribution hall to pick up groceries. This was Phui, Dying Goddess of Love Given Way To Anguish, one of the eleven deities of the now largely defunct Ysaran-Inotian Pantheon.

In the stories, Phui was the third-to-last of the gods to fall during the end of the world, who attempted to take her own life after the death of her lover. But the breaking of the heavens had left her unable to die, meaning that no matter how she much she cut into her flesh, how much she starved herself of food and drink, reprieve would never come. Only relentless, unceasing pain, and grief for that which she had lost.

Metal album cover ass-religion, I'm into it.

The mysterious Ironworkers seem to have really drummed into the population of their new Mimikos that there was a very nice world once, and they'd better be damn sad about what happened to it. However, religion has waned in the present day, and it seems most characters are atheists of some sort.

What did happen to it, anyway? It's referred to as 'the collapse' with a lowercase c; I noticed an author's comment where the author says it's not a case of just a name for the apocalypse. A few people in the comments started speculating about false vacuum collapse. This is a physics thing. Basically, a remote possibility exists in the standard model of particle physics that the existence of matter in our universe could be in a kind of local energy minimum, but it would be possible for it to locally fall into a true minimum, creating a kind of bubble that expands at the speed of light and just deletes everything. We're pretty sure that isn't true though. If it did happen we literally would not be able to do anything... at least in a universe without FTL.

(Curiously, Su mentions special relativity at one point. With all the funky cosmology stuff I kinda wondered if special relativity is still real, but apparently it is! Electromagnetism has been mentioned as still being a thing a couple of times now, so rather than being totally absent it seems like the physics is a bit different, with an electric shock being sufficient to cause radiation poisoning.)

The fair play interlude

In between chapters 22 and 24 we get a curious little interlude called Intermission ∞ 1. The introduction presents it as something that is happening on one of the 'higher planes', translated into terms we can understand, which is grounds for it to get metafictional.

Two entities, calling themselves the Playwright and the Director, discuss the direction of the story so far before laying out the version of fair-play mystery rules this story will be operating under. They are as follows:

THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE PROTAGONIST IS ALWAYS TRUTHFUL

ALL EVENTS FOLLOW THE RULES OF CONVENTIONAL REALITY, UNLESS INDICATED OTHERWISE

ALL SYSTEMS INTRODUCED CANNOT BREAK THEIR OWN RULES AS DEFINED WITHIN THE NARRATIVE, UNLESS INDICATED OTHERWISE

I made them red because it feels like they would be red in Umineko.

Further clarifications and caveats allow that Su can withold information (for dramatic tension or whatever I guess) but she'll always tell us when she does, and an example of 'system introduced' is the magic duel sequence: the characters know accurately how magic duels work.

The two entities are performing this story for some sort of audience, and during their double-act credit themselves with control over the direction of the scenario, sometimes disagreeing. (Another one, the chorus, enters at the end.) Probably best not to think too hard about what that implies for our characters on the 'main' level of the story being 'real', it's probably just a cute bit to take the audience aside without completely breaking the fourth wall. Then again... who knows!

What this means is that my concerns about professed liar Su being an unreliable narrator are unfounded. It's still a limited POV, so Su could fail to notice things or be deceived, but she's not trying to pull one over on us.

I bring this up because...

There's been a mordah!

So, in the last chapter I read - strictly the beginning of a new arc - we find someone dead!

Well, this was kinda foreshadowed earlier. The chef disappeared, the assistant chef was knocked out by magic, and some kinda crazy time magic happened in the pantry - with the heavy implication that someone was trapped in some kinda hyperbolic time pantry for many years. At least they'd have plenty to eat..? The characters don't pick up on the implication of the tally marks and write it off as a stasis field malfunction.

So, it was natural to suspect the cook is dead. Indeed they are: Su finds a mysterious note in the book given to her by an academic at the school as a parting gift, warning her not to trust the inner council - inexplicably written two years prior and warning her to check the archive in a certain position. Investigating this, she and Kam find a secret armoury room. In there is a tunnel, and at the bottom, the cook appears to have committed suicide, leaving a suicide note vaguely implying the Order is up to some seriously sussy shit.

Of course, Kam and Su immediately suspect foul play. But they also both have ulterior motives for coming to this conference, so they agree to keep it hush-hush. This is definitely a great idea that won't get everyone killed by Beatrice... I mean uh. Whoever the murderer is.

The obvious question is, who dunnit? And why? Unfortunately, we don't really have alibis for most of the characters. Many of the inner circle haven't even shown up on screen yet. So there's a lot of people who it might have been.

More suspects! More suspects!

I haven't even mentioned several of the characters. We also have Sacnicte, steward of the house - she's an arcanist, and Su is kinda insanely horny for her aesthetically appreciative, in a way that the other characters notice and are literally like 'I don't see it'... which makes me wonder if we have a situation where someone has fucked with her perceptions. She's very down to earth and casual.

Her name is probably a reference to the Maya princess Sac Nicté, meaning 'white flower', who according to legend was involved in the migration of the Itza people from the Chichen Itza. Mind you the article I'm getting this from is kinda horrendous; the sole source is in Spanish and appears to be some random website from 2004.

Among the older generation, we have Theo's dad, Linos. He is a generally affable chap, kinda socially awkward (he's responsible for prolonging the political discussion by a botched apology) but otherwise not particularly standing out among the Order members.

Linos or Linus is another Greek name with a few referents.

The Order member who really does stand out is Anna, or in full, Amtu-hedu-anna. She's the one who's properly old, having dodged many of the 'kills people around 500' bullets of this setting, and not especially inclined to make nice. Very 'straight to the point' kinda lady. We meet her fairly briefly - Ran seems to have landed in her good books.

This one really took some digging! It seems to be based on Enheduanna, who was a Sumerian high priestess of Nanna and the oldest named author in history, credited for tablets like The Exaltation of Inanna, although it seems there's some debate over whether she definitely wrote them. Her rank in Sumerian was Entu, and I could fully believe 'amtu hedu anna' is a different transliteration of 'Entu Hedu Anna'.

As mentioned above, we're introduced to two logic engines, Sekhmet and Eshmun, built respectively by Neferuaten and (the as yet unseen) Hamilcar. Sekhmet has more biological components and wants to be a human. She wants to be human, and she's also expressed a distinct pronoun preference and gender id, which I suppose makes her trans. Eshmun is a more traditional logic engine with a lot of cogs; Sekhmet calls him 'big brother', so I guess he gets he pronouns from that.

Sekhmet is of course named for the Egyptian lion-headed warrior/medicine goddess. Eshmun is a Phoenician god of healing. Hamilcar was a name used by a number of Carthaginians, mostly generals.

Ezekiel is another one of the student gang. We haven't seen much of him yet, so I don't have a lot to say about him. Abrahamic prophet.

Balthazar is a student from another school - another thanatomancer in fact. He's something like the protégé of Zeno, and his presence is Zeno's condition for having this whole affair go ahead. He's got the same eyes as Ophelia, and Zeno failing to do his paperwork and allowing to happen is a big deal. But Zeno's kind of a bigshot so it might not come to anything. Anyway, Su is kind of suspicious towards Balthazar, but he takes it all in good humour.

Balthazar was one of the three magi in Christian mythology. There were a few Zenos, but the best known is surely Zeno of Elea, who came up with his famous "we need to invent calculus to solve this" paradoxes around infinite sums.

Yantho is a member of the Order staff, who was cooking when whoever did shenanigans in the kitchen... did shenanigans in the kitchen. His roast was ruined, but sadly he was too unconscious to order fast food and pass it off as his cooking. He can't speak and communicates by writing on his tablet.

The name crops up as an obscure Maya deity, part of a trio of brothers with Usukun and Uyitzin, but I can't find any source that seems particularly definitive.

Samium is an old egomancer, whose presence is a secret that only Su and Ran are in on. Su wants to speak to him, for reasons that are probably to do with finding out if he can restore 'original!Su' into her body, or maybe resurrecting her grandfather, or something?

...is that everyone? I think that's everyone. At some point I probably need to make an Umineko-style character screen lol.

can we solve anything yet?

Since this chapter is the beginning of the arc, I suspect there's more info to divulge before we can think about trying to solve this one. And, given the Umineko inspo, the problem to solve probably isn't simply 'whodunnit' but something more fundamental to the nature of this world.

Still, it seems all but spelled out explicitly that current!Su failed to properly assimilate into her body after she became an arcanist. Her grandfather's final 'kindness' is less clear. Her intentions with Samium... I've mentioned the obvious theories about already. She's mega guilty about overwriting this poor girl and has decided the only course of action is to try and restore the mind that inhabited her body originally. But I don't think we have the whole picture just yet, because I still can't figure out what her granddad did.

Given her discussion of 'dragon' vs 'phoenix' resurrection, and of how her meeting with Samium might change the order, I also theorised - before I really twigged the arcanist thing - that she was here to resurrect her grandfather in her own body. Body-hopping is like, the classic immortality strat after all. But... I'm less convinced of that one now? It doesn't seem like Su particularly liked the old man, she definitely doesn't want to follow in his footsteps, and 'saw him die unexpectedly during the revolution' does not seem like it would inspire the same sort of guilt.

Still, he surely did something to her, she's definitely cryptically alluded to that enough times.

Besides that?

Obviously really digging this story! Honestly, this one rules. It helps that the author is clearly into a lot of the same shit I am. All the long discussions and beat by beat narration could potentially feel a little dry, but honestly, I'm pretty hooked, it's definitely pulling me forwards. It's a fascinating, conflict-rich setting, that raises all sorts of interesting concepts. It's confident in knowing what it wants to be. Umineko is a hell of a tough act to follow, but this one has a distinct identity of its own. Can't wait to see what happens now the mystery seems to be about to kick off for real.

With that in mind, I'm sure it won't be long until the next one of these. I may have to dial back the detail a bit, this is kinda having a bad effect on my work right now. There's just so many fascinating corners to follow up ^^'

Anyway, I realise these posts are kinda massive for tumblr, so I'm gonna start copying them over to canmom.art soon. <See you next time>.