#This is definitely entirely fiction. 100%.
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arsonamiright · 7 months ago
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No, I'm NOT gonna make multiple trips. I'm gonna carry this shit up the stairs as PRECARIOUSLY as POSSIBLE. Like a REAL MAN.
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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my skill is making nonsense out of nothing fr 👍
#🌙.rambles#reading some old rambles from years back is quite endearing actually#n i. rlly would love to tell me younger self how i love how she thought through those stuff abt my wol well#i wonder though what's the extent of which i cld write or imagine smth i've never experienced before#n likely at times perhaps i force it in a way in my head while knowing it is entirely like. yk fiction just so i can 'feel' it for the sake#of yeah just. expanding my knowledge n understanding of stuff#i think i definitely did that before in late 2021 w that one old ffxiv friend#i mean ofc there's some pain that comes w it but it's all for the sake of learning 🥺#actually i'm not talking abt anything rn i just want to ramble to myself abt random bs before i sleep#tbf i did have nice ideas when i'd use random stuff or create fragmented realities or idk what it is in my head#but i cld always yk differentiate what's actually real or not#being sleep-deprived sucks though i do not think right#i shld sleep. i'm gna get less than 3 hours of sleep like this 😭😭#just have to work on the speech tmrrw n do quite a lot of research bcs of the topic i chose sob#maybe i cld've done something easier n i cld always change it but No i find this interesting n i will pull through#mostly just that n i cld play some ffxiv n fix the fc server c: n farm more gbf bcs i did not play much today#I GOT EUSTACE SUMMER THOUGH !!!! this anniv i have barely gotten anything new but 🥺 eustace is cool. n i got lucifer hehe from 100 <3#as long as i don't lose sight of my passions n like. yeah the love i have for sm things in my life n then hope n always striving to improve#yk i'll continue to thrive. succeed 🫶🏼🫶🏼#i'm not sleepy rn i feel motivated but no i shld rlly goddamn sleep#i came across some notes too of how i wrote my wol like exactly two years ago n.. funny how it still hits now :^)#but yk reading that reminded me of how much time has passed but like. more in a 'ive managed to accomplish so much more since then' way#i'm proud of myself. & i'll continue to do what i can so i can continue to be proud of who i am at heart#n like fuck social anxiety but i'll find a way to yk get through it all anyways. ofc. yeah#i will fix my account next week for sure.
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strange-aeons · 1 month ago
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hi strange i’ve been enjoying yr videos for about four years thank u for giving me giggles for so long. however i am writing as i am not totally sure who else to ask…
my boyfriend had a traumatic pneumothorax last week and about 80% of his right lung collapsed. i don’t really know anything about pneumothorax (although i have learned so much recently lol) aside from hearing you mention it and as such i don’t know how to help him :(
i know it’s a shot in the dark but i was wondering if there are any comforts or ways to alleviate pain you could share? thank you so much strange you are super tough btw to have gone through this several times this Sucks big time
many good wishes to you and your sweet hairless babies in the new year!
If it happened one week ago he’s already gotten through the worst part! I’m assuming he’s still hospitalized with a chest tube in right now??
When I was in that situation it helped a lot having frequent visits from my partner and family. Especially when they brought snacks!!!!!! Hospital meals can be borderline inedible and there’s no way of escaping to the food court when you have a chest tube in (unless you plan to deceive multiple nurses and risk life threatening infection through the OPEN HOLE IN YOUR CHEST. Don’t do that).
Good food can be a relief in an otherwise horrible time, so finding out what he really wants to eat and brining it will definitely help. If he has no appetite then things like smoothies or drinkable soup can be very helpful. I often live off booster juice and Tim Hortona chicken noodle soup when hospitalized.
Finding the right media to keep sane is also very important!!! Your sleep schedule disintegrates entirely when laying on your back full of tube for multiple days. 2AM listening to alarms go off and 6AM getting woken up for x-rays and 1pm having the lunch slop delivered and 3pm being woken up for x-rays and 9pm visit from your surgeon all become basically indistinguishable, especially if you have no windows. Podcasts were ideal for me because it can be very hard to find a comfortable position with a chest tube / pneumothorax and looking at a screen was often too much of a hassle. Queer as fact and fall of civilizations are both excellent if you want non fiction btw. Old gods of Appalachia or welcome to nightvale if you want fiction.
There’s not a lot that you as a loved one can do about his physical pain, but I will share some of my pneumothorax expertise with you and anyone else who might go through this.
There’s no nerve endings in the lungs so all the pain/ discomfort related to a pneumothorax has to do with pressure in the chest cavity.
The pain is the absolute worst when your lung is actively collapsing so when that feeling starts SHOVE SOME EXTRA STRENGTH ADVIL OR TYLENOL DOWN YOUR THROAT, then lay down and wait for it to finish collapsing. It may seem tempting to rush to the hospital as fast as possible (or rush your loved one who’s lung is collapsing to the hospital) but trust me the last thing you want to do with a lung that is actively deflating like a sad balloon is exert yourself (this is how I collapsed my lung the full 100% and could not move my upper body for an hour. Quirky). Give it at least 30 minutes of floor time before you try to move. You will have a way better time getting to the hospital.
Wait sorry I lied lung re-inflation hurts sometimes more than the initial collapse. The sometimes are the times when ER nurses do not know how to do it properly. Immediately after they put the chest tube in, they attach it to a suction machine to suck out the excess air in your chest cavity. I do not know if these machines are the same internationally (I’m Canadian) but if you’re dealing with one where the settings are percentages, the one you want is 20% suction. NOT 100%!!! that just causes unnecessary excruciating pain without being more effective. I have had to fight numerous nurses while in the worst pain of my life to TURN THE PAIN MACHINE DOWN. fuck the pain machine. Anyway. After the pain machine they leave the tube in for a few more days to make sure the lung stays inflated. Nearing the end of that process, most of the discomfort is caused by the tube itself, so as horrible disgusting the worst getting that thing ripped out is, just know you will feel so much better after.
Throughout the healing process (and in the case of small pneumothoraxes not requiring chest tubes — I’ve had over 10 of those ones) I’ve noticed that heightened discomfort lasting a few minutes results from going from laying down to standing up or vice verse, or from bending over. This is why I have pioneered the sophisticated technique know as the pneumothorax squat. It is just as cool and hot as you’re imagining.
This post was supposed to be about how to support a loved one with a pneumothorax what the heck am I even talking about now.
Most of what he’s going to need will seem boring or insignificant. Companionship. Food. Medication. Toiletries. COMPANIONSHIP. podcast recommendations. But it absolutely is not insignificant. Abruptly losing mobility, independence, and bodily autonomy as a young person is really fucked up and I cannot fathom doing it without my family and my partner, even if most days that consisted of talking to me and bringing me smoothies and underwear.
Wishing a quick recovery to your boyfriend! Good luck with everything!!
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steddieas-shegoes · 11 months ago
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for @thefreakandthehair (and @vecnuthy and @wormdebut while we’re at it) because sometimes you help a baseball player through French class so they can stay on the team and then they end up on the Savannah bananas and you decide to put the fictional men into situations about it *shrugs*
Eddie was going to have to transfer out of this class. This was one of his easiest classes and it was filled with every jock on campus attempting to fill their foreign language requirement with French.
And they were all failing. And annoying. And obnoxious.
And a few of them were also hot.
But Eddie wasn’t gonna focus on that!
He was gonna finish today’s assignment and then head straight to the advising office to find another class that worked with his work schedule.
“Hey,” the guy next to him whispered as the teacher droned on about conjugating verbs. “Do you have any idea what the fuck the homework was?”
Eddie turned to glare at the person, but his face dropped when he noticed who it was.
The campus celebrity: Steve Harrington.
Couldn’t quite make it on the college baseball team, but managed to make the sort-of professional, but mostly joke team Hawkins Hooligans.
Eddie didn’t like sports, never had. He could appreciate that it took skill and whatnot, but he didn’t care much to watch it or make celebrities of people who were just really good at one very specific thing usually involving some kind of ball. But he could appreciate a joke. And this team had jokes.
Steve was actually apparently good enough to play pro, had even been scouted by the MLB his senior year of high school. One week before his professional tryout, he tore a muscle in his shoulder, had to sit for three months and had to do physical therapy for another three, and voila! No pro ball for him. No college either since he missed spring training.
But he still had skill, and he still had a father with a lot of pull in the business, even if it wasn’t quite enough to get him on the Yankees or whatever.
So he was biding his time on the Hooligans until next year when he could try out for the college team again, maybe increase his chances of a real pro career.
Eddie definitely hadn’t watched videos of him during their first few games of the season where they faced the Indy Idols and the Chicago Charades.
He definitely hadn’t gotten a weird flutter in his stomach when Steve had been the one to lip sync to Hot For Teacher while pretending his bat was a guitar.
He definitely didn’t have a crush on Steve.
“Uh. Dude?” Steve asked him again, shaking him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah. It was the study guide for the first quiz. Not due until next class though,” he whispered back.
“Oh. Thanks.”
Eddie turned his attention back to the professor, not really needing to pay attention since he already knew quite a bit of French.
A tap on his shoulder made him yelp, and the entire room turned to him. He waved apologetically before turning to Steve with a murderous look.
“What?” He hissed out.
“Do you understand this?”
“Yes and you probably would too if you stopped talking to me.”
Eddie was ignoring the voice in his head screaming at him to let Steve keep talking to him for as long as he wanted.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Steve huffed before sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest. He mumbled something else that sounded like ‘I’m just stupid’ but Eddie couldn’t be 100% sure.
“A lot of this stuff is just English spelled a little differently.” Eddie sighed. “You could almost definitely figure it out if you took some notes.”
“Yeah, probably.”
Eddie’s brows scrunched together as he glanced at Steve’s red face.
Hm. There was definitely something to unpack here.
“You can borrow mine if you want,” Eddie offered as he watched the professor switch slides on the presentation. “I don’t really need them until the final.”
“Oh!” Steve sounded genuinely surprised by his offer, like he hadn’t been basically asking for help only a moment ago. “You don’t have to do that. I mean, it wouldn’t do much good for me anyway.”
“What do you mean?” Steve had Eddie’s full attention now.
“I’m. I-“ Steve sighed. “I’m dyslexic, man. Reading’s hard for me.”
Well, fuck. Eddie felt like an asshole now.
“Oh.” Eddie looked down at his scribbled notes, cringing at the thought of someone else trying to read them, let alone someone who already struggled with reading from a printed page. “Yeah, my handwriting is shit so it’d probably be useless to you. Shit, it’s almost useless to me.”
Steve snorted, immediately covering his mouth to avoid any more noise from escaping. Eddie could see he was still smiling though. His eyes were very expressive.
“Don’t you have accommodations?” Eddie asked him.
“Nah, my dad doesn’t believe it’s a problem.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Said I just need to focus more and it’ll ‘work itself out.’”
“He sounds like he’s a lot of fun at parties.”
Steve snorted again. “Yeah, a blast.”
“So you aren’t a natural at French?”
Steve shook his head. “I’m barely a natural at English.”
“I could help you?” Eddie was an idiot. An idiot with a crush on someone who would never be interested in anything he had to offer except tutoring.
“Help me? You’d help me?” Steve seemed eager, maybe a little desperate.
Eddie kinda liked that.
“I mean, yeah. If you’re actually willing to put in the work and not expect me to just do the work for you.”
Steve smiled. God, that was a nice smile. Eddie was absolutely fucked.
“I work well with a reward system,” he smirked. “If you’re willing.”
Eddie’s eyes widened momentarily as the realization sunk in that he’d just been flirted with.
By Steve Harrington.
“Oh, I can definitely work with that.”
Steve nodded once, grinned at Eddie as he picked up his pen and ripped off a small piece of his unused notebook paper. He scribbled something down and folded it once before handing it to Eddie.
“Let me know when I need to show up, Eds.”
Eddie unfolded the paper and nearly dropped it.
Stevie H. 555-555-0086 My dorm at 7? No clothes required
When Eddie looked back up, Steve was facing the front, seemingly paying attention to the lecture.
Eddie quickly pulled his phone from his pocket and put Steve’s contact info in. He could wait until after class to send him a text. He could.
Instead, he typed out something quick to hold them both over until later.
Studying naked is my favorite thing 😉
Steve’s knee nudged against his in response.
Maybe Eddie wouldn’t take that trip to advising after all.
And if he was featured on the next TikTok for the Hawkins Hooligans, with Steve fake serenading him in the stands, nobody had to know he didn’t really like sports.
He liked Steve, though. Even when Steve actually managed to play real competitive baseball. Even when Steve managed to get a spot on the Cubs.
Especially when Steve proposed to him during a game in maybe the worst recorded French of all time.
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r0-boat · 3 months ago
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Asmodeus as the father of your kids
I know canonically Asmodeus can't have kids let's just use our imaginations ✨
SFW! Suggestive! No sex but heavily suggestive because Asmodeus.
Cw: children, pregnancy, birth.
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From pregnancy to delivery and after he is the most doting and gentle father. From rubbing your sore feet to helping you with anything you desire. He'll do it with a soft smile in his face and hearts in his eyes because he sees you as the most beautiful creature in all of hell, heaven and Earth.
The Great and feared Demon King of Lust is now wrapped around your little finger. Asmodeus worships the ground you walk on and worships you in other ways ;)
This is the same guy who said he'd clip your toenails for you. You won't be doing anything again once you're pregnant with that man's baby.
Mama/mother/mommy/ma is now your new nickname; He will never stop, even if you ask him to.
He definitely want more kids personally, but honestly 100% he would be okay with whatever number you pick of how many kids you want because he would just be happy to be a father again.
You don't need to do anything because he's already baby-proofed and bought everything. He is screaming with Joy as he brings out the old baby stuff he used to have from the first time he had kids. Yes, it might be a little old.... A couple of centuries, to be exact... But he is sure they are still working. You would not be using century-old baby stuff, But Asmodeus seems insistent; you try coaxing him to shop for the baby... Oh, that Got his attention.
Honestly, from how excited he was, it started to feel like he was the one having the baby and not you. He promises he'll be on his best behavior; absolutely no sexual shenanigans, as you not only go to the human world for shopping but also Tartaros.
"No, Asmodeus, we can't take this all back...*
"Yes, we can. I have the space, And I'm paying for it anyway~"
Your and your baby's health is his TOP priority. Anything that harms or stresses you in any way is considered the scum of the earth, and wants them eradicated this instant in 0.5 seconds.
He wants to do everything when it comes to baby stuff, everything baby showers, gender reveals, every and all baby trend imaginable that he has seen over the years but he has never gotten to do, from picking out a starter Pokémon plushie to trying out baby products on devil social media. Yeah, he's definitely going a little loonie. You might want to calm him down.
He never thought he'd feel this fuzzy feeling in his chest again, watching you cradle your newborn child in your arms. His arms shake, and there is anticipation and nervousness as you hand him his child. He looks at you with a pair of love as he kisses you and whispers, "Thank you."
Asmodeus probably has an entire list of baby names, but at the end of the day, He would ask you what You're going to name the child, and whatever name you pick, he would adore.
His descendants also know, And he desperately wants them to meet their new sibling.
If the kings thought he was annoying before talking about his descendants... OH MY GOD. Tapping his mouth shut won't stop him from talking about his child. He has five drives and two phones with pictures full of his newborn baby, some photos of your pregnancy, and photos of you cuddling and falling asleep with the baby in your arms.
Levi texting you: "Please, why did you make a baby with that insufferable fuck? I can't stand his ass. If he says one more thing about that stupid crotch fruit, I'm making you a widow and becoming the stepfather!"
Mammon spoils his kid with wealth. Asmodeus coddles his kid. No matter how old they grow, they will always be his little baby!
I like to think that there's some daughter or child who would be like the MC of Love Unholyc, where they enjoy spending their time inside playing video games and watching anime. Their last only shows when it's for fictional characters. Pouring all that lust into fan fiction, thirsty furry fan art, or a fictional character they're super obsessed with. But when it comes to the actual act itself, They would start covering their ears and eyes out of embarrassment. They're the person making the super-thirsty JJK edits.
Laughing my ass off imagining the family dynamic is being Saiki K. with his parents
Asmodeus: *tossing vegetables in a pan*
MC: Honey you don't have to be so rough~
Asmodeus: Oh I know you like it rough ;)
Asmo's!Kid: OH MY GOD WHYYY!??
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loafysainz · 15 days ago
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the parent trap (remake) | CS 55
cast: carlos sainz x fem!reader
warn: 100% fiction & remake
next chap
Part 17 THE CHAOS CAMP
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Carlos glanced at Meredith, who was pacing the living room like a cat on a hot tin roof. “And what exactly do you want me to do in these three days? Sit down and knit?” Meredith snapped, throwing her hands in the air. Her voice had that sharp edge, the one that Carlos had learned to handle with extreme caution.
“Honey, it’s a delicate matter,” Carlos said carefully, keeping his tone as calm as possible.
“Delicate?” Meredith repeated, her tone incredulous. “What do you mean by delicate? What kind of ‘delicate’ requires me to be here, looking like an absolute idiot?”
Before Carlos could respond, the sound of humming drifted in from the terrace. Both of them turned their heads in unison just as Y/N casually strolled inside, looking far too relaxed for the tension brewing in the room. Her hands were in her pockets, and she had that annoyingly charming smile on her face—the kind that made people trust her, even when they shouldn’t.
Meredith’s mouth fell open in sheer indignation as Y/N walked over, clearly unbothered by the chaos she’d just walked into. “Excuse me?” Meredith sputtered, turning to Carlos with a glare. “What is she doing here?”
Carlos sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s part of the deal, honey. We’re going camping. Together.”
Meredith froze for a second before bursting out, “Camping? What’s next—matching family sweaters? Are we all becoming one big happy family?”
Y/N raised an eyebrow at that, her expression unreadable but her smirk still firmly in place. “Hey, is something wrong?” she asked, his voice perfectly casual as she shifted his gaze between Carlos and Meredith.
“Yes, something’s wrong,” Meredith shot back, her voice rising an octave. “I wasn’t aware of this.. tradition. And for the record, I don’t agree with the idea.”
“Well, you’re right,” Y/N said, her tone suddenly more serious as she folded her arms. “Imagining the ex-sleeping with your own partner is not exactly a vacation dream.”
Carlos winced. He could tell Y/N was up to something—she always was—but he had no idea where this was going. “Y/N…” he warned, but Y/N just kept smiling, looking entirely too pleased with herself.
“I appreciate it,” Meredith interjected, her mood instantly lifting at Y/N apparent support. “Finally, someone with some sense around here.”
Y/N glanced at Meredith, her expression almost too kind. “Yes, and that’s why I’m asking you to come with us.” Her voice was sweet enough to rot teeth.
Meredith blinked, utterly thrown off. “Wait, what?”
Carlos had to bite back a laugh at Meredith’s face, which was a mix of shock and betrayal. “Y/N…” Carlos started, but his ex- held up a hand, silencing him with that practiced charm.
“Seriously, Carlos,” Y/N said smoothly. “I’ve already ruined your weekend, haven’t I? It would be rude of me not to join. Please, consider it my way of making up for everything.”
Meredith looked like she might faint, and Carlos wasn’t far behind. “That’s enough, Y/N,” Carlos said with a forced laugh, but it was too late. The plan was already in motion.
Meanwhile, Matheo and Mattia were busy packing their camping gear when they spotted Meredith, dressed in gym clothes, stepping out of the house with Carlos. The sight alone was enough to make them pause.
“What’s she doing here?” Matheo asked, his voice tinged with annoyance.
Carlos smiled as he loaded the car. “Your mom invited her,” he said casually, like it was no big deal. But judging by the looks on the boys’ faces, it was definitely a big deal.
Mattia tried to argue. “But—”
“No buts,” Carlos interrupted, gently but firmly. “I expect you to be polite. Got it?”
Matheo and Mattia shared a look, both equally disgusted by the idea. But they said nothing, choosing instead to stew in silence as they got into the car.
Well, most of them. Y/N remained planted on the driveway, looking far too smug for Carlos’ liking.
“Have fun!” Y/N called out cheerfully, waving them off like a benevolent queen sending her troops into battle.
Carlos frowned. “Y/N, what are you doing? I thought you were coming with us.”
Y/N’ grin widened. “Oh, I just thought it might be nice to get a little alone time before the big day,” she said innocently, her tone dripping with fake sweetness.
“But—” Carlos started, only to be interrupted by Mattia from the backseat. “Mom, that wasn’t the deal!”
“Relax, darling,” Y/N said, her voice honeyed and calm. “You’ll have so much more fun without me, trust me.”
Meredith looked visibly panicked. “If she’s not going, I don’t think I should—”
“No, no,” Y/N said quickly, her smile growing even brighter. “You’ll do great, darling. Besides, this is your chance to bond with the kids. In a few weeks, they’ll all be yours anyway.”
Meredith’s jaw tightened, but she said nothing, slipping on her sunglasses instead. Carlos gave Y/N one last exasperated look before climbing into the car and starting the engine.
From the rearview mirror, he could see his kids sulking, Meredith stewing, and Y/N waving cheerfully in the distance.
As the car pulled away, Chessy strolled up next to Y/N, sipping on an iced coffee. “I’d pay good money to see her try to survive out there,” Chessy said with a grin.
Y/N laughed, her gaze still on the disappearing car. “Oh, you won’t need to pay anything. Just wait.”
*****
The four of them made their way down the winding trail, with Carlos and Mattia leading the way, their strides confident and steady. Behind them, Matheo trailed slightly, keeping an eye on Meredith, who was practically dragging her feet while grumbling non-stop. Meredith’s complaints ranged from the incline of the path to the unfairness of life, her dramatic tone making the entire ordeal oddly hilarious to Matheo.
Carlos glanced over his shoulder and immediately noticed Meredith’s weary expression. He stopped in his tracks, raising his hand to signal a break. “Alright, let’s take a moment. Another break.”
Mattia groaned, turning to his father with an exaggerated eye roll. “What? At this rate, we’ll make it to the lake by winter.”
“Be wise, Meredith isn’t used to this,” Carlos replied patiently as he unscrewed his water bottle, taking a few steps closer to Meredith.
“I swear, I can’t move anymore,” Meredith panted dramatically, flopping onto a nearby rock. “I don’t get how people do this for fun.”
Matheo exchanged a look with Mattia, mischief flashing in his eyes. Quietly, he picked up a rock and tiptoed over to Meredith’s backpack. Mattia didn’t need any explanation—he smirked knowingly as Matheo began slipping the rock into Meredith’s bag.
“Hey, can you pass me my water bottle?” Meredith asked, oblivious to the antics happening behind her.
Matheo hurriedly zipped up the bag, grabbed the bottle, and handed it over. “Here you go, Meredith.” He bent down mid-motion, catching sight of a tiny lizard darting across the trail. A grin spread across his face as he gently scooped it up.
Meredith guzzled down her water, sighing in relief. Everything seemed to be fine… until she caught sight of the lizard perched casually on the rim of her bottle. Her scream echoed through the forest as she launched the bottle into the air.
Mattia and Matheo clamped their hands over their mouths, their laughter barely contained as Carlos rushed over, concern etched on his face. “What happened? Mer, are you okay?”
Matheo held up the lizard with a sheepish grin. “He just had a little surprise visitor, Dad.”
Carlos couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “Don’t worry, Honey. He’s harmless. He’s not going to hurt you.”
“Y-yeah, totally,” Meredith stammered, laughing nervously as she took a step back.
But before he could get too far, Matheo, ever the troublemaker, brought the lizard up close again, this time inches from Meredith’s face. “Look, Meredith, he likes you!”
Meredith shrieked and flailed, dodging backward. “Get that thing away from me! I hate crawling things!”
Carlos seeing his kids teasing Meredith, he ordered them to leave first, “You two go on ahead.”
“Alright, alright,” Matheo relented with a laugh, placing the lizard safely on a nearby rock. But not before whispering something to Mattia, who instantly grinned. Meredith had no idea what was coming next.
By the time they reached the campsite by the lake, Meredith was in full survival mode. The twins, however, were thriving—plotting and giggling as they watched their favorite victim struggle to carry her weighted-down backpack.
Dinner by the campfire didn’t offer much relief for Meredith. The freshly grilled trout was delicious, but after the fourth serving, her enthusiasm had waned. She poked at his plate with her fork, looking forlorn.
“Hey, mom, do you want more trout?” Matheo asked innocently, though the glint in his eyes betrayed his true intentions.
“How about you call me Meredith? I’m pretty sure Y/N would prefer it,” Meredith shot back, ignoring the new call. “And no, I don’t want more trout. What are we having for breakfast tomorrow?”
“Trout,” Carlos, Mattia, and Matheo answered in unison, their timing impeccable.
Meredith groaned, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t understand how anyone likes camping. It’s mosquitoes, trout, and near-death experiences.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, sniffing the water bottle Meredith had been sipping from. He wrinkled his nose slightly. “Honey, this is sugar water. No wonder the mosquitoes love you. Who gave you this?”
Meredith glared daggers at the twins, who were suddenly very engrossed in their plates. “Enough, I will go to sleep, I will take my sleeping pills and sleeping peacefully.” she stood up, and smiled as she walked over to Carlos, her boyfriend. Without hesitation, she tilted Carlos’ chin up and planted a deep kiss on his lips. Carlos melted into it, a warm contrast to the cool night air.
Matheo and Mattia, sitting nearby with crossed arms and matching scowls, exchanged a look of shared irritation. Their dad was a goner, and they knew it.
Meredith pulled back with a smirk, glancing at the twins. “Good night,” she said, voice dripping with confidence.
Matheo rolled his eyes. Mattia crossed his arms tighter, but neither said a word. Carlos, ever the peacemaker, sighed and looked at his kids. “Kids, leave her alone. I’m not marrying her just because she’s pretty.”
“Then why are you marrying her?” Matheo asked, his tone sharp.
Carlos’ patience was thinning. “Go to sleep,” he said, finality lacing his words.
The twins didn’t respond, but their silence was louder than any protest. Carlos got up and disappeared into his tent.
Hours later, under the cover of darkness, The boy’s tent flap creaked open. Matheo scanned the area cautiously before signaling to Mattia. The two crept through the shadows with the kind of stealth only mischievous children could master.
“I hope the sleeping pills worked,” Matheo whispered as they reached Meredith’s tent.
The twins carefully unzipped the entrance. Inside, Meredith was sprawled out on her mattress, blissfully unaware of the chaos about to unfold.
With coordinated effort, they lifted the mattress, struggling only slightly under its weight. As they began to move it, Meredith murmured in his sleep, “Carlos…”
Mattia slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Damn…” he whispered.
After the momentary scare, they continued their plan, hauling the mattress out of the tent and down to the lake. With one final heave, they pushed it onto the water. The mattress floated gently, carrying its unsuspecting passenger into the middle of the lake.
Matheo smirked, watching their handiwork. “Good night, dear mommy,” he whispered before he and Mattia retreated into the shadows, their laughter barely contained.
Meredith stirred as the cool morning air brushed against her skin. She felt something soft on her neck, half-dreaming it was Carlos. “That feels nice,” she murmured. But as she opened her eyes, she found herself face-to-face with a bird perched on her shoulder.
“What the…?!” she shrieked, startling the bird, which flew off in a panic.
Meredith bolted upright, the realization hitting her like a wave—literally. She was floating in the middle of the lake.
“Carlos!” she screamed, her voice echoing through the forest.
Back on shore, Carlos woke with a start, groggily stepping out of his tent. The sight of Meredith, flailing on a mattress in the water, made him shock. “Oh… fuck…” he muttered. He watched helplessly as Meredith toppled into the water. Shit.
Carlos’ gaze shifted to his kids, who were now standing by their tent, looking suspiciously innocent.
By the time Meredith waded back to tent, she was soaked, furious, and dripping with lake water. She stomped past the campfire, kicking a still-hot kettle with impressive force.
Carlos stood there, arms crossed, unsure what to say. “Umm… what happens now?” he asked cautiously.
Meredith pointed a trembling finger at the twins. “This is what happens! When you and I get married, I’m sending those two brats straight to boarding school in Switzerland! Got it? Now choose. Is it me or them? You have two seconds.”
Carlos looked between Meredith and his children, his expression unreadable. Finally, he smiled. “I choose them.”
Meredith blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I said,” Carlos repeated, his voice firm, “I choose my children. Do you understand?”
Meredith’s jaw dropped. She looked ready to explode, but all that came out was an unintelligible noise of frustration.
Matheo and Mattia exchanged triumphant grins, their dad’s loyalty cemented in their favor.
Carlos watched as Meredith stormed off, muttering about ungrateful families and Swiss boarding schools. He sighed, shaking his head. His kids were a handful, but they were his handful, and nothing—not even Meredith Blake—could come between them.
prev chap
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drferox · 2 months ago
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@scarfanon said: Can you give us some tips on how to recognize when a channel's stories and narration are AI-generated, so as to better avoid them? I increasingly believe one channel that I've been following for years has gotten into this, but I don't know for certain.
It’s kind of hard, because while some narrations are definitely human, picking the difference between a novice writer or someone within less experience and something AI generated is harder. Features can increase the probability of a narration being one or the other, but there are no guarantees.
These are some of the guidelines I use, or things that make me suspicious of AI.
Features that increase the likelihood of a story being written by a human:
Has an authors name/credit
Is part of a series or has recurring characters
Has a theme, or a core message. Not just aesthetics.
Features that make me think the fiction is AI generated:
Story is about something trendy
Seems to have a lot of aesthetics, has the vibe, but doesn’t have the point
Ends up feeling like a detail is missing
Leaves you wondering why you bothered
Now it’s entirely possible that a novice human writer, especially one that’s exposed to a lot of AI writing instead of good human authors might end up mimicking an AI style. But these are just guidelines for suspicion.
For the voices, I think they’re more likely to be human if:
There is a video clip of them talking at any point
They change their tone and way of speaking for different characters
They’re at they speak is different in the ‘please subscribe’ tagline at the end of the video
And I become suspicious of AI if:
There doesn’t seem to be much variation in the tone or pace (though this is far from a good indication
They get common brand names or proper nouns wrong. Eg Nike, Dalek, Klingon
They get words with a non-English origin wrong, eg vague, Eloise
The tone doesn’t match what’s happening in the story
They use the same speaking voice for wildly different characters.
Now admittedly a human narrator could have all those faults, but when they have a lot of them, consistently, I start to get suspicious.
I’m never 100% certain, but too many features out of place start to feel uncanny so they are the kind of things I look for.
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amtrak12 · 26 days ago
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After a conversation with a friend about this weird trend of fic readers who only want epic length fics (and also what seems to be a massive misunderstanding between parties on terms and their definitions), I went searching for the fandom sources I cut my teeth on. I don't have much bookmarked from those days anymore, but googling got me to this fiction length/terminology breakdown from a Livejournal blog. (Which also has good fandom definitions for other terms like A/N and fanon too, so if you're super new to fandom, go check that out.)
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The definitions come from the publishing world (hence the page counts), but fandom and fanfic has always borrowed heavily from official publishing terminology. Flash fiction (aka, anything less than 1k words) is called a 'ficlet' within fandom. We call everything else a fic until it reaches the novella mark -- which may start at 20k words but as synecdochic breaks down on their Dreamwidth blog, there's a lot of overlap between short stories and novella word counts. Because, when you're not constrained by physical page counts, the real dividing line between short stories and novellas are the number of plots and themes you're using. (Seriously, go read their meta on this topic. It's fantastic!) Either way, once you're hitting tens of thousands of words, you're in longfic territory. And then if your fic is even longer than that -- 100k+ like shown in the screenshot above -- it's called an epic fic.
And these terms, longfic and epic, are important because they're used to differentiate these stories from the average fic. Because, at least in the 2000s up until the 2020s, the most common fic lengths you ran into were between 1k-20k words. "Fic" made the reader assume only a few thousand words at most. It's only when you changed the term to drabble or ficlet or longfic that they would realize 'oh this is going to be shorter or longer than normal'.
I don't really understand why that baseline assumption has changed amongst the newer demographics (and maybe amongst some long-running fandom members too?). I've seen a lot of theories and 'tiktokification' complaints, but I honestly don't know what's true. And I don't want to start a fight or even try to change anyone's minds if they are dead set against reading short story length fics. You can do what you want!
Just maybe shift your attitude about it a little bit? Remember that it's a personal preference the same way tropes are, and that one story length isn't better than another. Just like tropes, each story length serves its purpose. Some stories are best told in 1-2k words. Some are best told as 100 word drabbles -- or even a single sentence! And then, yes, some stories do need to be 100k+ in order to be told properly.
But that's not every story. And it shouldn't be expected of fic writers to pad a 1500 word plot into some sprawling epic just because they left it on a cliffhanger. The cliffhanger is probably the point of that fic! Short stories are an entirely separate art form to novels and as such are able to cover different topics than novels can or cover the same topics differently. And that's what makes them special!!
And look at that word count breakdown by genre! That's mainstream publishing standards! Now, go back up there to the definition of a novel and notice that the average published novel is 80k words long.
Let me repeat that:
The average length of a published novel is 80,000 words long.
Could a novel go longer? Sure! And if you're dipping into adult sci-fi or fantasy, absolutely it will be longer! But does your fic need to be longer than the average novel in order to be good? In order for you to feel satisfied when you finish reading it? Why does the length of the fic matter more to you than the content?
idk just some rambling food for thought, but I guess too long, don't read:
~✨~ Every story length is valid ~✨~
It just depends on the plot you have and the structure you want to use to tell it.
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menlove · 8 months ago
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in honor of pride month. how queer (or Not) do you think the bugs are. for science
here's my semi controversial takes okay take them w a grain of salt idk these men (...people?) anyway
paul: I do think he's bi. whether or not he's like out to people around him or even himself who knows but he's. 100% bi. my evidence is well. really everything w john but also just his Consistent flirting with men in so so so so so many interviews. (my joking answer is that he's a lesbian. him and linda are lesbians.)
george: also bi, mostly bc of the stuff surrounding dylan & some of his lyrics. I feel like there's a quote somewhere where he alludes to having done stuff w men but I could absolutely be making that up in my mind lmao. feel like he also could have been sold on the idea that souls are genderless and so not necessarily Be a man in the more spiritual sense. like if he were a 20-30 smth year old today. or I mean even in his actual life I just don't know but I Could See It. 0 evidence for that beyond how many transfemmes I know adore george
john: CONTROVERSIAL ONE IM SORRYYYYY. but he's definitely the one that's For Sure Queer like we all know this. & a lot of people use the bi label bc he had relationships w women & this would be the easiest answer but I'm gonna be really and totally honest... to me a lot of his/yoko's/everyone else's quotes surrounding his attraction to men vs women make it sound Very comphet driven. like his quotes about yoko being the perfect woman bc she was so much like a man/himself in drag. "you think of rock hudson when we do it". him constantly comparing yoko & paul & never really discussing cynthia and in general just disregarding her existence entirely. (which is very shitty btw his treatment of cyn makes me rage, it just also reeks of marriage out of comphet and obligation while he was actually committing himself to paul, whether that was ever fulfilled or not). his general angst around being called gay. etc. to me he reads more as a gay man that never fully came around to identifying that way. but for the sake of not speculating on a dead man's sexuality I'll just say he was Definitely Queer. also given some of his quotes surrounding identity and gender and whatnot I do think he maaay have been gender queer as well but that one is definitely more speculative and vibe based. I could see a modern john or john if he lived being more genderfluid but We'll Never Know.
ringo: token straight I'm sorry buddy. I can enjoy a good fictional depiction of him being bi (shout out to that paul/ringo fic in hamburg that made me chew glass) but as for like. real life I haven't seen a single shred of anything pointing to him being anything but cishet. maybe! but if we're solely talking what I think is Actually going on... no.
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nightcolorz · 7 months ago
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i feel like it’s acceptable to headcanon disorders like ADHD or autism or personality disorders to fictional characters but it feels like there is a taboo about dissociative disorders, making me hesitant to say this (even though im pretty sure ive said it before)
But i really do feel like Armand has some sort of dissociative disorder (DID or OSDD) because it just seems so clear that he is not really one person, one fixed identity. Arun, Amadeo, and Armand are all distinct personas, formed by intense trauma and kept apart by traumatic amnesia. I won’t pretend to be a psychiatrist but from what I do know of these disorders that is very much how they manifest and their defining feature.
It seems more this way in the show, especially with the scene where he refers to Amadeo and Arun in third person, and speaks of how he can’t really remember details like names or exactly how things happened (like how he says he was sold by his parents in 1947 vs how he said he was chased by slavers in 1973 (both could be true but it feels contradictory))
And how he does visibly act differently based on if he’s Armand (the cult leader, coven maître, the one being interviewed), Amadeo (who he was in Venice, rebellious, teenaged, who he has to be to Marius), or Arun (the child, slave, who Louis brings up to obey him)
You can definitely lean in with the Rashid thing as well, taking up different identities was easy for him because he’s so used to it, and being Rashid he was a servant, something he was already used to. Being Rashid was like being Arun again before he had to become Armand to counter Daniel.
It’s somewhat the same in the books but less clear, though Andrei, Amadeo and Armand are all definitely separate.
Anyway I really do think Armand has some kind of dissociative disorder with Arun, Amadeo and Armand being separate alters, rather than him having any sort of personality disorder.
Thoughts?
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE 100%. I have also been hesitant to talk about this, but I’ve been using it to influence how I write Armand in my fics!! but yes, all the way yes. I’ve had this headcanon since before amc iwtv s2 came out and I loooooveeee how they just solidified it with their characterization.ur incredibly right all the way.
even if u don’t think Armand literally has a dissociative disorder, it’s undeniable that he has the core symptoms needed to be diagnosed with a dissociative disorder. Not only does he have separate identities that carry separate memories, he also has huge gaps in memory and repressed memories, to the point where he can’t remember his entire childhood, which is like essential to having DID.
I think whether Armand could literally be diagnosed with a disorder like this is up for debate, but I think what matters more is that thematically Armand’s character resonates very close with how these disorders function and affect people. A core part of his character is that Armand doesn’t know who he is, doesn’t have a clear or consistent identity, and can not function as a complete person bcus his identity was fractured before it was able to form. This is like, the essence of what it’s like to have a dissociative disorder lol. So regardless of whether he technically has did or Ossd, I think he definitely does thematically. Armand is all about how trauma can break the brain from ever forming an identity correctly, need i say more, lol
THANK U SMMM FOR THIS ASK AHHH!!!
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mogamuncher · 3 months ago
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Heeeey I'm back again with another tidbit of the Slay the Knight AU (AKA: the Re:Zero and Slay the Princess crossover au)
Anyways due to some of y'all's amazing suggestion, I think I have a lot more ideas to rave about rn, mostly about the voices, but also some about the different Barus that this au would have!
Ok so, first the voices:
Voice of the Hero - Voice of the Noble: Julius.
Voice of the Contrarian - Voice of the Opposed: Ram
Voice of the Opportunist- Voice of the Cunning: Anastasia
Voice of the Cold - Voice of the Shut-in: Beatrice
Voice of the Paranoid - Voice of the Troubled: Otto
Voice of the Stubborn - Voice of the Proud: Priscilla
Voice of the Hunted - Voice of the Protector (shield, get it?): Garfield
Voice of the Cheated - Voice of the Wronged: Felt
Voice of the Skeptic - Voice of the Cynic: Pick
Voice of the Smitten - Voice of the Devoted: Rem
Voice of the Broken - Voice of the Selfless: Reinhard
I think that's all the voices but I might be wrong. . Uhhh anyways here they all are! Again a lot of these are from suggestions, but I really liked them! Some names are still iffy (Felt and Garfiel could definitely be improved upon I think) but I do like the character placements!
My favorite thing to think about is which route these voices will interact with, since all the Barus will be very. . . Interesting.
Speaking of the Barus, here's some ideas I had for their princess equivalents, with pictures!
So, first, to get it out of the way: The Witch
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100% Wrathbaru, there's not a single bone in my body that says otherwise. The Witch route is all about distrust, it's all about how you betrayed the Princess and so she betrayed and beat up you, there's even a reference to the Frog and the Scorpion fable in her route, a fable all about trusting someone only to get hurt in doing so. Hell, the characteristic voice for her route is Voice of the Opportunist, who's singlehandedly the voice that should be trusted the least
Meanwhile in the Wrath IF route, Wrathbaru was specifically incredibly paranoid and distrustful to the point where he stopped seeing color, only ever seeing color in people who he fully trusted, mainly because he knew for certain where they stood emotionally when it came to him either through consistency across loops (Beatrice and Emilia) or because he knows that they just hate him (Ram and also kinda Emilia)
The point is, Wrathbaru absolutely would be the Witch equivalent, if only for the themes alone, though he's a lot somber than the very playful Witch.
Also, catboy Wrathbaru, enough said.
Though if Wrathbaru is The Witch then The Thorn will definitely be really interesting
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I like to think that Wrathbaru in the Thorn would still be very jumpy and paranoid, instead of the gentle show of trust in the og game, Emilia (The Long Quiet) would have to drag Wrathbaru out of those vines kicking and screaming
Having Rem, Julius and Anastasia harassing Echidna (The Narrator) about describing a kiss with Wrathbaru would be absolutely hilarious though, absolutely peak fiction
Now, let's please talk about The Damsel
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So, we can like, all agree that this is arc 1-2 Baru, right? Just straight up that Subaru, but with more bimbo energy
Rem here would be fun, though she probably wouldn't say things in the exact same manner the Smitten does, she can still be really funny with her Subaru crush, as seen in the snow special
Ok, so like, we got the Damsel figured out, cool.
Now, Happily Ever After, on the other hand
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Ok so this is pristine cut content, so definitely some big spoilers, but:
Greebaru. Just, 100%, 1000% Greedbaru coded. There's not a single princess that could ever rival the Greedbaru-ness of this princess in the entire game
Just, him and Emilia being literally controlled the entire time, the idea of Echidna slowly growing disillusioned as the route goes on as she sees where her meddling will take her, the constant repetition and Subaru's desperation that doing things again and again will fix it, the fact that REM I would be the one orchestrating all of this???
Just, how utterly miserable everyone is inside of this route, it's simply Greed IF core. Everyone knows that Greed IF is the IF where no one gets to be happy despite everything technically being "alright", which is exactly the vibes that this route has!
Also, going from Arc 1-2 Subaru to Greed IF Subaru would be such a drastic jump, I love it
Greebaru would be a lot calmer than the og princess in this route, think lots of fake smiles and call insistance that slowly becomes hysterical desperation
Also, dancing with Greebaru under the stars, enough said
For other standouts:
The Den
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We get to have a full monster Baru!
He'll probably be a chimera type beast that's a ground dragon (Petrasche reference ayy) mixed with a rabbit (hah) with a big horn on his forehead and Cappella-esque wings
There's no way to really stick his iconic slicked back hair on a rabbit head without it looking a bit goofy, so I propose we let Subaru grow his hair out and have it down for this one
The Razor:
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For some reason I cannot possibly describe to you, I keep thinking of her equivalent being Pridebaru. No seriously do not ask me why, I don't know either
Maybe it's because she's the most affably murder happy one? Then again there's the Adversary. . . Anyways if she were to be Pridebaru then I suggest an added fire motif, along with the blades
The blades can mainly stay due to the association with Elsa, in fact, maybe this Baru can specifically only ever target Emilia's guts when he goes to skewer her
Also Mutually Assured Destruction
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That entire interaction will be hilarious now. Rem finding this beautiful, Priscilla saying it's the perfect man, Ram wondering if he can be thrown out of a window??? Mwah, perfection
I also would like if there was a fire motif there, maybe he can also he on fire
The Nightmare
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My beloved, because he would mean we get to hear Otto do the "Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves" chant, but also I have no clue what Baru he would even be
Maybe Gluttony??? A Moment of Clarity would make Gluttony an interesting pick here, but I don't know for sure
Other than that I'm still brainstorming ideas, and ofc taking suggestions, so feel free to tell me what y'all think!
Edit: It is done! I've written the first Chapter of this au, go see it here
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msmargaretmurry · 1 month ago
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hello tumblr! i read a lot this year and i want to talk about the epic highs and lows of my 2024 reading list!!
i went through all the books i read and divided them into four-ish categories — fiction, nonfiction not for school, nonfiction for school, and rereads, plus two poetry collections that didn't fit in any of those categories, and now i am going to talk a little bit about my favs and least favs, because i like doing a little end-of-year reflection. i was going to do top five in each category but instead i am doing my top however many i think meaningfully represents my favorites in that category. also these are new TO ME, not necessarily new in 2024. i have never in my life been caught up on reading the lastest book releases and i am not going to start now.
top five six fiction reads of 2024
In Memoriam by Alice Winn — a beautiful, achy, tragic, devastating, horrifying, hopeful romance between two english boys who get caught up in wwi and each other. my favorite non-reread book of the read.
The Cold Millions by Jess Walter — a deliciously detailed historical fiction set in the early twentieth century labor movement in the pacific northwest. great characters; i appreciated that the author tried to Do Things with his novel structure even if i didn't that they all 100% worked as well as he wanted them to.
Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles — i loved the entire will darling trilogy but this first installment was definitely my favorite of the three because it has the best of the plot twists and complicated romance.
Minor Detail by Adania Shibli (trans. Elisabeth Jaquette) — this novella was one of the first things i read in 2024 and it stuck with me all year. told in two equally harrowing parts, it tells the story of the murder of a palestinian girl in 1949 and then the story of a modern-day palestinian woman trying to navigate through occupied palestine to investigate the incident.
City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert — i have to be honest, i was surprised by how much i enjoyed this book, since all i knew about gilbert going into it was eat pray love memes. but i loved the cast of characters and the historical details and the exploration of female sexuality and autonomy.
Boy Parts by Eliza Clark — i read this book and was immediately like "wow i bet some people REALLY hated this lmao." the narrator is DEEPLY unlikeable and unsympathetic, and most of the people around her aren't much better. but she's like that on purpose, and while it's not for everyone, i relished reading her go on this self-destructive spiral, like a trainwreck that keeps getting worse. equal parts funny and disturbing. the excerpts from her best friend's tumblr had me howling.
top five six nonfiction reads of 2024
There's Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Adburraqib — the thing is, if hanif writes a book it's gonna be in my top reads of the year. that's just the rule. loved what he did with the structure of this book, love how he uses language, love how thoughtfully and poignantly he writes about everything from sports to social justice.
The Wolves of K Street: The Secret History of How Big Money Took Over Big Government by Brody Mullins and Luke Mullins — one of those books that did make be feel even more deeply depressed than usual about the united states and the us government specifically, but deeply researches and very readable, put so much into context for me about various horrible men whose backstories i was not totally aware of.
Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein — this book is excellent all the way through, but what really surprised me was that even in sections on topics where i felt like it probably wouldn't have much new to offer me (like, i am already SO aware of how the people who think vaccines cause autism work) it still did give me some new perspective or context.
A Ghost in the Throat by Doireann Ní Ghríofa — a gorgeous and haunting and unique book that is so hard to describe. it is autofiction about womanhood and motherhood but it's also about history and poetry and translation and the silences of the archive.
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado — i read so much of this in a single sitting because i was like girl i can't put this book down until you get out of there!!!!!!!!!!! oof. OOF.
Number Go Up: Inside Crypto's Wild Rise and Staggering Fall by Zeke Faux — i find crypto so hard to read about because it is deliberately convoluted but this book was not only well-written and readable but VERY funny. faux feels so aware of how so much of the crypto enterprise is built on speculation and wild greed and he treats it accordingly.
Floating Coast: An Environmental History of the Bering Strait by Bathsheba Demuth — obviously this book made me depressed about what capitalism and human industry and greed had done to the land and wildlife in this region but also it's so beautifully written and imo super interesting.
top five nonfiction for school reads of 2024
(i have these in a separate section because i am so aware that academic texts are not written for a popular audience but sometimes they are still really good and i rec them to people anyway.)
Necropolis: Disease, Power, and Capitalism in the Cotton Kingdom by Kathryn Olivarius — reading this book, centered in antebellum new orleans, about the politics and economy of public health and widespread disease in the wake of so much public/policy failure around covid was uhhhhh harrowing. but it's VERY good and imo very readable.
Empire of Cotton: A Global History by Sven Beckert — reading this book added important new dimensions to the way that i understand global capitalism.
Late Victorian Holocausts: El Niño Famines and the Making of the Third World by Mike Davis — reading this book added important new dimensions to the way that i understand imperialism and colonialism.
Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City by Greg Grandin — this is the most ~for a popular audience~ of my favorite school books this year. whomst among us doesn't like reading about a very nasty very rich man barging confidently into a huge new venture and failing miserably. unfortunately you will also leave feeling furious about the environmental and human impacts of said venture.
other stuff!
i read two poetry collections this year and loved them both:
What You Want: Poems by Maureen N. McLane
The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes On by Franny Choi
my rereads this year were all part of my ongoing goal of revisiting all the fantasy books i loved as a teen/young adult that have been sitting on my bookshelf for years, which has been such a cozy and enriching endeavor for me, especially revisiting robin hobb's books. soon i will get to the point in her realm of the elderlings series where the rereading ends and the new reading begins (i dropped off after the tawny man trilogy in my youth due to reasons) and i am so excited for me.
also, these were not rereads, but i read tamora pierce's alanna quartet for the first time this year and had such a fun time. obviously they're written for a much younger audience than me, but that's fine! i read a few of pierce's books as a kid but was never super into them like some of my friends, so it was really nice to explore these books that are so meaningful and were so formative to people i love. i would love to do more of that next year.
fourth wing — it was so hyped and i truly thought it would at least be bad in a fun way if it wasn't good but instead i found it to be so bad the only reason i finished it is because i read it in my downtime at a work conference when my brain was only half-functioning anyway. bad inconsistent worldbuilding; bad inconsistent characterization; transparent boring plot and relationships. good for the people who inexplicably love it because i'm sure they're having a great time but MAN i hated it.
least favorite reads of 2024
i don't love spending tons of time harping on media that i think sucks in public, but i do love picking apart books that don't work for me in private with my friends, so i am putting these here in case friends want to pick them apart with me 😂
mister hockey by lia riley — i joked that i read this whole book just to see if gordie howe showed up but honestly i was pretty unimpressed that he actually didn't show up even once. your typical bad hockey romance problems (this author doesn't seem to know much about hockey, etc) plus deeply cringey writing plus weird breaches of journalistic ethics that the author does not seem to realize are weird and bad = not a book for beckys.
my next two least favorite books this year were very very small indie books so i am not putting them on blast here, lmao.
accountable: the true story of a racist social media account and the teenagers whose lives it changed by dashka slater — this book was so frustrating and upsetting not only because the subject matter is frustrating and upsetting, but none of the non-victim teens and parents seemed to learn a damn thing and the author did not interrogate that at all. ugh.
reading goals in 2025
my reading goal each year is just a flat 50 books of any kind, so we're doing that again! i want to do a better job reading books i own but haven't read before buying more books but we will see how that goes for me. i might make a spreadsheet about it, which will actually help me 😂 but broadly, i want to read more genre fiction, especially fantasy and sci-fi. i am being very easy on myself on the reading front and not setting any super lofty goals about what or how much to read because grad school brain means i will read what my brain will accept, but i am very much looking forward to another year of reading! and always accepting book recs!
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genderqueerdykes · 9 days ago
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okay i’ve been wondering about this for a while. i’ve seen a lot of fandom discourse that headcanoning a character who’s commonly accepted as transfem in fandom as a genderweird trans in all directions nb person is transfem erasure. is this true? i haven’t really thought so‚ but i might just be biased as a nb transmasc myself. (common examples include john egbert)
hello there, thanks for stopping by!
i am definitely the wrong person to ask about this, i am very sorry. i do not participate in fandom at all, i don't engage with much fiction and when i do, i don't get into it that much. my brain doesn't really latch on to fiction like it did when i was a kid. i still play games and watch anime here and there but i don't interact with fandoms, so i apologize for that. i find them to be genuinely uncomfortable and unsafe environments to be in due to being intersex and biracial. fandom spaces unfortunately tend to be extremely racist & intersexist. i had friends who were heavily involved in fandom as a teenager and i felt very unsafe due to the sheer amount of fetishiziation of intersex bodies that goes on in fandom spaces.
this is simply an outsider's perspective, but i don't really see fandoms as "representation" that can be "erased" because it's all conjecture and everyone has such wildly different opinions on what a character is or is not. it's not representation if it's not confirmed. if it's just a headcanon it's not representation, as it was not confirmed and thus is conjecture and speculation. i might be wildly off base as an outsider, but i always kinda thought the point of fandom was for everyone to express how they interact with that piece of media uniquely, and spread and share their thoughts and opinions? why are people trying to control how other people interact with a piece of fiction that they did not make...?
that seems antithetical to the idea of fandom. i thought it was supposed to be a fun hobby? again maybe i just *don't* get it as an outsider, but it makes no sense to me to try to control someone else's internal opinion on something that quite literally is not real. like at the end of the day none of these people are real, you can't hurt their feelings you're not 'erasing' anyone here, they're literally not real, and if it's only a headcanon that that person is transfem... then you're not. erasing. a transfem character, it's just conjecture. it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you see them as because you're free to think and feel those ways in your head. you're allowed to engage in those thought experiments because that person quite literally is not real so it's okay to speculate on their identity. it's not okay to do this to another live person but if they're fictional who... cares?
this may sound really harsh but i need to stress to people that fictional characters are not real human beings, and stressing out over their genders or sexuality does nothing to help you. you can't hurt their feelings. you can't erase a transfem that isn't confirmed to be transfem. a headcanon is just that: a personal opinion. it shouldn't come to the point where it causes distress and fighting. this is a hobby, it is not one's entire life. i would recommend just blocking and not engaging with people who try to police how you interact with leisure behaviors. i don't think there's one true way to be "Right" about these kinds of things because it's literally all conjecture
also sorry, i have no idea who that character is! i don't know very many fictional characters by name so i can't lend any input there, apologies. for the future, if anyone is curious about my feelings on these sorts of things about other characters, i unfortunately cannot help you as there's a near 100% chance i am not familiar with them and can't lend any input
how can an opinion be right or wrong ... ? that just doesn't make sense to me. it's all opinion. it's not worth hurting other people over or yelling at each other. i'm sorry that i can't give you a more informed opinion, but i thought maybe an outsider's perspective could help somewhat. i hope this is somewhat informative or helpful to you at all- i honestly don't think it's right for people to try to control each others' headcanons because that is quite literally thought policing and i am not here for that. anyway, take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by :)
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multi-fandomdisaster · 3 months ago
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Oh boy! It's time for me to project myself onto a fictional character!!!
Hear me out: Ted with undiagnosed ADHD
He's gotten...okay-ish at masking it over the years, but he cannot sit still and just focus for the life of him and he has no idea why. It's a damn good thing that his job doesn't really matter all that much in the long run company-wise, because he HARDLY gets anything done because he can't focus on it because it doesn't interest him all that much. His daily rounds of the office where he goes around and bothers everyone else is primarily because he gets bored as shit just sitting in an office chair trying to slave over whatever the heck he's supposed to do that day and he feels like he's gonna go insane if he doesn't move around and talk to people. Having his own office is simultaneously a godsend and a curse, because on one hand he'd occasionally get overstimulated by the sounds of the rest of the office while he's just trapped there at his desk unable to do anything to de-stress and instead has to pretend like he's working because he's definitely not and he's 100% wasted about an hour and a half instead thinking about the fact that he should be working and isn't, but on the other hand with his own office he doesn't have anyone body-doubling for him anymore so there's literally nothing pressuring him from getting distracted and doing something else. Any time anyone talks to him he has to put all of his mental effort into trying to focus on them that he sometimes misses the entire conversation because he was focusing so hard on focusing on them. He's been banned from clicky pens in the office because he likes the sound and it drives everyone else (especially Paul) crazy. He thoughtlessly drums and taps his fingers on everything from tables to doorframes to his leg to whatever solid object is in front of him and/or in his hand. He's missed a good amount of company events on accident because he forgot the date (the only dates he has actively memorized are his birthday and the day that he lost Jenny), and so every time there's some kind of special event, he tries to make it a habit to write it down over and over again on post-it notes and stick them everywhere around his home and his office. There was more than a couple of times that he entirely forgot to pick Pete up from places because he was either too zoned in on his routine to remember that he was supposed to be doing something different or was like- watching a movie or something and forgot he had a brother entirely.
Do you see my vision? Or am I just going insane?
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Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)
If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.
Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...
Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,
but,
IT'S JUST A SHIP.
In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*
Full fucking stop.
Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.
If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.
Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.
Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.
Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)
But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.
So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?
Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.
As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:
That incest can lead to inbreeding.
That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.
Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?
The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.
We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.
The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.
So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.
Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.
Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.
Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...
At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.
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I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.
And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.
*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.
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rosesradio · 3 months ago
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Hi, do you mind if I pick your brain about the pro/antiship thing? I'd like to check first because it's a dumpster fire of a controversy in fandom spaces and I'd 100% understand not wanting to touch it with a ten-foot pole. But also cuz it mentions somethin triggering+disturbing.I've always wondered what another person might think but I usually try to stay miles away from fandom drama, but you seem like, not chronically online about it
lmaoo thank you, i try to make my blog a chill, safe space to come to despite me being. Not chill about anything ever 😅
so here’s the definition of each that i added to the poll:
Proshippers argue that shipping is all fictional, so there is no harm in shipping characters who shouldn’t be together in real life. Anti-shippers argue that fiction reflects and influences real-world beliefs and behaviors, so fans shouldn’t romanticize unhealthy relationships. You can be proship and not ship any problematic ships, or vice versa.
i got these definitions, with my own addition at the end, from a Reddit thread you might find helpful.
so i’ve been in fandom for many years, and up until around 2022 i was mostly what would be considered an anti-shipper.
within the (*gags*) sanders sides fandom, there was a ship called remrom. this was the ship between the characters roman and remus, canonically twin brothers. i never shipped it, not my thing, and it caused a lot of division in the fandom. people would often put on their wattpad (yeahhh wattpad era babey) profiles & even their fics “dni & leave if you ship remrom, go die” etc. i don’t think i put that on my own fics, but i was hostile & blocked people i found shipping it. because how could you ship twin brothers, that’s disgusting!!1!
…the funny thing about sanders sides, though, is that all of the characters represent fragments of one guy’s personality. roman is his creativity, remus is his dark!creativity, etc. the fandom shipped many other pairings with the (non-related) characters, the most popular being Roman and Virgil (anxiety). (Yes this is causing me physical pain to type out thanks for asking 🧍). so all that exposition aside…we were all shipping selfcest. and in a way, is selfcest any worse than incest? i suppose that’s subjective, but it just goes to show a bit of hypocrisy.
i also shipped some “problematic” pairings over the years, but changed them up to be “non-problematic”. for example, i had a billdip fic in which i made bill bodily 15 to match dipper & had him turn magically human (does this make the ship entirely non-problematic? hell no lmao, but as is the way of 15-year-old rose)
so that aside, i joined tumblr in 2022, in the cobra kai fandom. there’s a ship in the cobra kai fandom called silverusso, a ship between an insane(ly hot? don’t look at me 🫣) karate instructor named silver and the main character, daniel larusso. this ship is extremelyyy toxic on several levels. for one, daniel is freshly 18, while silver is assumed to be in his 30s(?) during karate kid 3 (please watch karate kid 3 but also be sure you’re sober when doing so because the movie is a trip, lol). for another, silver essentially seduces daniel into devolving into a violent robot, primed for silver’s command & corruption.
now for me…i’m not going to get into the details because i don’t want to, but i had experienced trauma somewhat related to the silverusso dynamic the previous year (only with minimal karate, lol). even three years later, i am still impacted by said trauma in small ways. i was honestly insulted by people shipping this ship, because it felt like they didn’t care about victims & were romanticizing and sexualizing situations i was having nightmares about.
that is, until i made some friends in the fandom. i bonded with them on our common interests, and then i got to see a bit more into the silverusso shippers’ heads rather than the horrible things i was hearing about them from others. i learned that they really weren’t that bad people at all, all well-intentioned & respectful of boundaries. some of them were even victims of trauma similar to my own, who used darkfic as a place to vent their emotions. considering i had told very few people of what happened, considering no one really understood, i felt safe.
not to plug, but this is a fic i wrote sort of in that space lol
so anyways, i learned more & more about proshipping ways, profiction, anti-harassment, & anti-censorship. i adopted the take that fiction can be a good place to explore complex emotions or even just compelling ideas.
(because you do not need to be traumatized to be interested in darkfic! in fact, the anti-ship take of “darkfic is okay if you’re recovering from trauma” is often harmful to victims, forcing them to out themselves for a stranger to judge if they’re “traumatized enough” to be “allowed” write darkfic. people should be free to write whatever with no explanation, just respect to others & proper tags/warnings).
i would like to think that the anti-ship ideals are in the best interest of others. they often do speak from a place of wanting to respect trauma victims (even if the hate messages they’ve sent me aren’t very respectful, lol). i can see how easy it is to be swept up into the moral quandary of it all because i’ve been there. in fact, if i saw trauma victims who were anti-shippers today, who felt the same resentment i did in 2022, i would feel sympathy for them and wish them the best in their recovery. darkfic has definitely helped me, though it is not for everyone. (though to those people i would also recommend they block bothersome tags and try to clear it from their mind).
i do wish people would approach actual proshippers to ask the way you are right now, anon. i think the spread of misinformation on how “being proship = shipping only problematic pairings” or god forbid “being proship = being a pedo” means a lot of well-meaning people obviously are disgusted and don’t bother to seek out the actual meaning of the term.
you don’t have to ship problematic parings or like darkfic to be considered proship. in fact, a lot of my mutuals here only like fluff & traditionally “healthy” pairings, but they support people’s right to ship and write whatever they want, provided it stays in its properly tagged lane. it’s just important to not push for censorship on sites like ao3 (one of the last safe spaces for every kind of fanfic), as well as not harass anyone in fandom for what they do with fiction. it’s not proper fandom etiquette, and it’s not a good thing to do.
fictional characters are dolls. real people are real, as are their feelings.
one last thing
i hope all of that answered your question, anon, and feel free to return with any more questions you might have 💌
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