#This is a skill most of you seem to lack
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One of my biggest life mottos is that I will never say, think or feel anything nice/positive towards a politician. They could save my fucking cat and they'd still be one of life's greatest evils
#Sorry for another political post#I just fucking hate politicians#Yes this includes your favorite politican#No you cannot change my mind#Yes I still vote in ALL elections INCLUDING state and city#I have this magical skill where I'm able to do things I recognize are important while still retaining my hatred for them#because I am also able to simultaneously recognize they're disgusting and evil#This is a skill most of you seem to lack#I STILL VOTE#I STILL FUCKING VOTE
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MK 9 (2011)'s story mode & MK 1 (2023)'s story mode
#mortal kombat#bi han#sub zero#lin kuei#kuai liang#smoke#tomas vrbada#cyrax#sektor#you don't have an idea how this makes me happy to see bi han put in the middle (leader) position in two different timelines#especially considering his bad social skills and/or lack of patience for people in general XD#the most surprising things about those pictures is that the right place of bi han is taken be person who seems he less likely choice?#i mean kuai liang is his blood-related brother and second in line to the title of grandmaster#but it is smoke who is almost all the time occuping bi han's right side#bi han and sektor are implied to be on good terms in alternative and new timeline yet it is cyrax on sub zero's righ side#what makes sense as he is more active in the cyrax-sektor duo#also yellow color should be forbidden in lin kuei as everyone who has this color (Cyrax & Scorpion Kuai Liang) somehow betrayes the clan#just saying
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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I'm discussing neurodiversity with a friend and she actually suspects she has adhd. I might have all the experience of adhd but who am I to judge right? But the thing is.. she has such strong qualities in area's that are challenging for people with adhd. And I feel like her definition of disorder because she is so balanced and organized in everything she does is on a whole different level. Like she is used to following through in her calculated choices and sticks to her habits more then almost any person I've known and it really sticks out to her when she doesn't. And her definition of I might have adhd is "I've always been dreamy and get distracted by my own thoughts when I'm supposed to be paying attention when someone is talking" Which IS a hallmark of adhd. But I can't feel help but feel.. misunderstood? Because I feel like she underestimates what it means to actually live with adhd. And it's such a fundamental aspects of my life that I know she'd be damn good in masking and overcompensating most adhd symptoms if she had it. I feel a little stupid for letting me bother it, but it still does? Maybe more because she is a close friend of mine.
#adhd#neurodiversity talk#She is highly sensitive and quickly overwhelmed by stimuli and actually has more overlap with common autism symptoms because of her#high sensitivity#and the way she finds comfort in routine but she is a 100% convinced that she doesn't because of the whole idea around “empathy” which is#well.. more or a alexathimia specific thing and wildly misunderstood too#I don't want to feel like a bad person for coming on here to ramble about this tho#Her qualities always made the skills I lack due to adhd so obvious but she always inspired me to do better#and while we have many similarities some of the most stark differences have always been the traits I associate with adhd#personal#or perhaps if someone like her that I look up to because of her level of selfcontrole and organisation that seems to come natural naturally#could have adhd that would make me feel like a failure like I should or could have managed my own symptoms better if I had worked harder#and actually used strategies#but I'm like theres no way right??#this level of selfreflection is pretty confrontational tbh#I also don't want her to feel like something is wrong with her because I know what that feels like#I'm having a bunch of mixed feelings in different directionsbasically#then she was listing a bunch of symptoms that weren't a problem for her like prioritizing tasks and again I was like... ahem so unlikely#you cover a the basics for a full diagnosis#She is on a selfdicovery journey tho and I love her for that. I'm sure it will make sense to her whatever applies when it comes to#neurodiversity#she wants to see a professional too which I think is always a great idea#in the meantime I just want to both support and inform her about what I know about this stuff#like my intention is not to invalidate whatever she suspects which is why I feel rude for having mixed feelings
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absjhdjshsks i wanna learn a language so bad i want. to learn the words and speaking it but oh god why does it cost so much money why is there no straightforward way
like theres online apps but if you want anything competent its generally pricey and will never be perfect theres textbooks which again. costly and wont teach everything i assume person on person or actual classes in person or online would be the most effective way but then. ppl scary and expensive and. it doesnt seem worth it to spend that much money regularly on smth thats not for a job or a proper reason itd just be bcs i want it n that feels stupid. so im just gonna sit here really wanting to
#LANGUAGES R SO NEAT I WANNA LEARN THEM SO BAD BUT ALAS#its not even the commitment or amount of time itd take#i can do that#its just. the money and the lack of free . ok its mostly just the money#n it doesnt seem worth that#to waste so much money on smth that is only for me#like any of my other hobbies. spending money makes sense#most of my art hobbies you get smth out of (artwork crochet etc)#with spending money on kpop i have physical collections#even with games im spending that money on a game#or with any other hobby id be spending it on learning a skill#and yeah learning a language is. learning a skill but#its not like i could demonstrate it. its not like theres any good reason for it#esp bcs the language i wanna learn is not at all related to my country#idk im just#it feels so wasteful n stupid to want to bcs of how much itd cost#but id kill to#personal
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Don’t make light of rape and sexual assault for the sake of arguing with terfs. Jesus fucking christ. I’m actually appalled that so called feminists on this website are so quick and seemingly excited to turn rape and violent misogyny into a JOKE when a terf states a correct fact about it! Perfect example of not actually giving a shit about trans women, just “owning the terfs”
#some of you are so poisoned by arguing with strangers on the internet that you forget some things are fucking serious#you think everything’s a fucking joke! you think you can always ‘get’ them by making some sarcastic snappy comment#well when it comes to something this serious that affects so many trans people as well I think you look like a fucking villain#so many other things to say besides making a JOKE about rape and making it seem like it’s not a big deal or doesn’t happen#I think you’d all do a little better if you acknowledged that a broken clock is right twice a day#and just bc someone says something true doesn’t mean you need to agree w their ideology#for the website that’s always talking about Nuance and Critical Thinking most of you severely lack those skills
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No fr, I saw Hazbin fans on TT who ACTUALLY THOUGHT Alastor's last name was "Altruist". Like. They didn't comprehend it was a word he was mockingly attaching to his name after his performance in the finale.
oh my good god. once again i say, the media literacy (and possibly literacy, period) is buried beneath the ground like...that’s actually concerning. unless they were young teenagers who just didn’t know what the word meant,, tho idk if young teenagers should necessarily be watching hazbin but that’s a different conversation for a different time.
#in my short time in the hazbin fandom i have seem some really wild takes and interpretations#and most of them are just straight up wrong. like;;; not the interpretations or the personal opinions—everyone is allowed to have those ofc#and that's valid.#but i mean like saying stuff that is FACTUALLY wrong#because you know;; there's the facts of the text itself and then there's the bits left up to the viewer's interpretation#but anyway#i'm not gonna get into that hahaha#i just rly do think the inability to close read and the lack of analytical skills is very concerning#you *should be* taught how to close read in high school literature classes#i'm not american so i don't know just how awful their school system currently is#but i know that when i was in high school we were taught how to close read and pull apart nuance and subtext and form our own opinions base#on that; on the material itself. and how to argue and back up our points#not that anyone necessarily needs anything THAT SERIOUS in fandom but like just the general skill of close reading#the fact that so many people lack it is justttttt a lil scary idk#i'm rambling now i've been having this conversation with several friends over the past week#it's just baffling#ANYYYYYWAYYY#hope ur having a great friday anon!!! <3#pls enjoy ur weekend and stay safe c: love u lots!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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Sometimes I want to read my friends' fics bc like... friends! Their fics! But then like... my brain reminds me the only fic I read is dmcl.
#DCB Comments#i have the desire to read my friends' fics but my interests are so strict abt it!!!#i mean there's one other ship i am considering reading fic for but it's not even fe#other than that i don't even read tellius fics bc tbh the only tellius fics i would read#would be shinaff and i and like maybe five other ppl tops even ship it so that's just#not happening out of its lack of existence LOL. sadge.#but like... what i write does not equal what i can read. i only seem to have the drive to actually /read/ dmcl#also one of my biggest issues with tellius fics is similar to the lorenz issue#i don't trust most ppl to correctly characterize shinon. with lorenz ppl don't actually#write him in character most of the time. he's written with clear and intended disdain from almost every writer i've ever seen write him#with shinon i completely do not trust that anyone except like me and five other ppl don't just#ignore all his character traits and all the facets of his personality. most ppl reduce him to what they WANT him to be#and not what he actually is. nobody EVER writes abt his care for children. his generosity toward his friends#how he canonically returned to the GMs and stuck by them regardless of where they went/what they did#how he - having been poor all his life by inference of dialogue - does what he can to stop them from being poor#he could leave at any time with his skills and get work anywhere he wanted. he doesn't bc he grew out of that desire#once he felt he had a place he truly fit in with. nobody writes him as the complex human being he canonically is written as#he's just ''the asshole who doesn't like ike'' and we know what the other part is that i won't get into#or we will be here for another few hours of me debunking ppl's bullshit. but yeah. shinon is basically like#the central reason i do not touch tellius fics with a thousand foot pole. i don't trust ANYONE with him unless i already know you#and that even if you don't like him i can at least trust you'd still write him in character and not just as#the obvious character you only wrote in to bash. even reading dmcl is difficult when i can tell the writer#doesn't give a shit abt writing lorenz in character and just uses him to be annoying and shit#aside dmcl being a hyperfixation yeah... that's some reasons why i do not read other fics#not that that is related directly to my friends' writing - that's bc my brain lightbulb only turns on with dmcl content#also why i have not read gautier content. i think it's changing now but like in general#the vast majority of the fandom i do NOT trust to actually understand miklan's character/story/motivations#bc he's basically just tossed aside as the pure evil villain who uwu hurt sylvain#i think myself and some other miklan lovers have helped fix that a bit with hopes' help#but i've loved miklan since before hopes came out so that's why i never bothered trusting gautier content either
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Would you mind if, from now on I only draw hot deranged men in a front view from their torso up?
I got diagnosed with Same Pose Syndrome, it's terminal.
#sehiren rambles#but no joke#I can't seem to draw a composition that lacks#one a hot mess of a man#and two#the most ass boring composition#my lack of art skills are to blame#thanks lotr meme#you opened my eyes
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do you have any ideas about why so many students are struggling with literacy now? I know that illiteracy and reading comprehension have been issues for years and most americans read at like a 5th grade reading level but I’m curious why it seems to be worse now (pandemic? no child left behind?)
It is everything. There’s not one answer. I could talk about this forever so instead I set a five minute timer on my phone and wrote a list of as many of the many things that are causing this on a systemic level that I could think of:
It’s parents not reading with their kids (a privilege, but some parents have that privilege to be able to do this and don’t.)
It’s youtube from birth and never being bored.
It’s phasing out phonics for sight words (memorizing without understanding sounds or meaning) in elementary schools in the early aughts.
It’s defunding public libraries that do all the community and youth outreach.
It’s NCLB and mandating standardized tests which center reading short passages as opposed to longform texts so students don’t build up the endurance or comprehension skills.
It’s NCLB preventing schools from holding students back if they lack the literacy skills to move onto the next grade because they can’t be left behind so they’re passed on.
It’s the chronic underfunding of ESL and Special Ed programs for students who need extra literacy support.
It’s the cultural devaluing of the humanities in favor of stem and business because those make more money which leads to a lot of students to completely disregard reading and writing.
It’s the learning loss from covid.
It’s covid trauma manifesting in a lot of students as learned helplessness, or an inability to “figure things out” or push through adversity to complete challenging tasks independently, especially reading difficult texts.
It’s covid normalizing cheating and copying.
It’s increasing phone use.
It’s damage to attention span exacerbated by increased phone use that leaves you without an ability to sit and be bored ever without 2-3 forms of constant stimulation.
It’s shortform video becoming the predominant form of social media content as opposed to anything text-based.
It’s starting to also be generative AI.
It’s the book bans.
what did I miss.
#i’m not immune to any of this. I’m trying to read more. it’s good for me#I think that the literacy crisis is a manufactured result of a lot of different policy choices because it creates an exploitable underclass
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im so fucking tired i just deleted a like. 200+ hours fe fates save
#i am EXHAUSTED WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS SO LATE AT NIGHT#GOD THAT WAS A SAVE FROM WHEN ONLINE STUFF WAS STILL UP GODDAMMIT#I AM AN IDIOT FOR NEVER MAKING A BACKUP#man i knew this would happen#okok lets think#that corrin had both astra and rend heaven#i could drop rend heaven bc astra is just. rlly good and i think i got rend heaven through other ppls castle stuff#i need to remember the specific corrin build- hang on#my birthright and conquest saves are the exact same corrin (and i can use them to replicate the exact unit pairings)#im going to lose... stat boosts and having every support done (yikes) but i didnt rlly do any einherjar stuff and otherwise its like.#lilth levels ig. the lack of online stuff is going to bite imo just bc that stuff was niceeee#cant branch of fate it seems to just cling to your most recent save which. fine.#remembering the specific corrin voice is going to be hard but i thiiiink i could figure out the boon/flaw#just based on the other saves??? maybe????#i am trying to rationalize this so hard its way too fucking late for this#based on the time i think i accidentlly overwrote this save like a fucking hour ago jesus#i think its a +skill -luck corrin based on my birthright corrin?????#fuuuuuuuck#whatever we can drop rend heaven i finally figured out that you can just. keep fucking using eternal seals anyways
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𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑
- xavier x reader
a new friendly colleague has joined your team, but your boyfriend is convinced he is up to no good... and that's why xavier is determined to show it that you are his
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—jealousy, fluff explicit smut: slightly rough sex, fingering, doggy style, based on xavier's card misty silhouette
note: skxmskcjsf bye don't look at me. this fanart and xavier's card messed me up :') this banner is so unhealthy for me i swear </3
Xavier knew he wasn’t the most patient person.
But even patience, he thought, has limits. And he had been patient and reasonable for a week, to be precise.
It all started ever since that damned new recruit entered his team. He didn't know why, but he kept coming to you for everything—directions, advice, even trivial nonsense like lunch recommendations. It was almost as if on purpose.
This afternoon was no different. Xavier had been looking forward to having lunch with you—just the two of you. You’d promised him, after all.
And yet—
“There was this one time I got trapped inside the N109 Zone—”
“N109 Zone!?”
“Yes!”
“Really?! What did you do then?”
“Hmm, so at first, I was in total panic, but then—”
For the past 15 minutes, your lunch break had been taken over by recounting your tales of valor as a hunter to the new recruit. Nearby, Xavier sat in brooding silence, scathingly sparing him a glance. The slight frown on his face said it all—blatant disinterest and a touch of irritation.
And you too... why are you engaging him so enthusiastically?
Then again, given his age, Xavier knew he had to be mature about this. He tried, really. If it had been someone like Jeremiah, he might have let it slide.
But there was just something about this new recruit—Sean, was it?—that rubbed him the wrong way.
“Whoa, you're so cool, Miss Y/N!” Sean exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with admiration. “Not only are you pretty and talented, but you're also incredibly skilled! What do you even lack, eh?”
“Really, it's not that much,” you giggled, brushing him off. The way you got sheepish only made Xavier’s annoyance flare even further.
“Let me guess— a boyfriend!”
So that’s what it was. Now Xavier understood what about Sean that set him off. The entire time you’d been talking, he had been giving you those googly eyes.
He didn't like it one bit. He looked ridiculous while doing it.
Despite being silent as a mouse all the way, before he could stop himself, he blurted, “She has a boyfriend already.”
You turned to him in surprise, clearly not expecting him to announce it so bluntly.
“Oh...? Xavier, you know who her boyfriend is...?” Sean turned to him with curiosity.
He noticed it. How his expression fell ever so slightly upon he told him that you were already taken. Xavier huffed and stuffed his mouth with his ramen.
“Yeah. Her boyfriend lives next door.”
Technically, he lived upstairs, but the detail didn’t matter. He just needed to make his point known.
And somehow, for the rest of the day, the new recruit finally seemed to develop some sense—at least enough to stop hovering around you so frequently. Particularly when Xavier was nearby.
“Xavier... why did you tell him that?”
You fell into step beside your quiet boyfriend as the two of you headed home that evening, tilting your head as you replayed the events of the afternoon.
Xavier gave you a brief glance before looking straight ahead again, ignoring your question.
You observed him. There it was again—that gray cloud hovering over him. It always seemed to appear when he was in a bad mood.
Puckering your lips, you pressed further. “We haven’t even told anybody else about our relationship... And what you did there—you’re literally telling him we’re dating.”
“So what?” he shot back, his tone sharper than usual. “Are you afraid people might find out we are? Or—”
Xavier abruptly stopped in his tracks, turning to face you. His usually vibrant blue eyes darkened, piercing into yours with a sharp gleam. “Are you afraid he will find out?”
There was something in his gaze that held you captive—that made your silly heart skip a beat.
“N-no...” you looked away, swallowing the heat that were about to take over your face. Why does Xavier look kind of... hot like that...?
Your cheeks warmed regardless, but you had to appease him. “Like I told you before, I just thought it’d be easier if this stays our little secret. It’s less of a bother if they don’t know…”
Reaching for his hand, you gave it a reassuring squeeze and flashed him a soft smile. “Besides, why would I be afraid if he knows? My boyfriend is cool, handsome, and the best hunter there is.”
You watched as Xavier's expression softened, the tension melting away. A faint blush crept up his cheeks too, and the gray cloud that had loomed over him finally disappeared. He squeezed your hand in return, looking away as if to hide the way he got bashful.
Adorable. For all his brooding, your boyfriend was surprisingly easy to soothe.
For the rest of the walk back to your apartment, you two remained hand-in-hand, the tension of the afternoon slipping away with each step.
. . .
You were staying over at Xavier's place tonight. After a relaxing bath and a hearty dinner, the two of you found yourselves standing side by side in the kitchen, doing the dishes together.
It was mundane things like this that Xavier considered his favorite routine to do with you. Just as you handed him the last plate to dry, you spoke up, your voice breaking the quiet hum of contentment—
“Xavier, can I ask you something?”
“Hmm?”
“I was just thinking... Sean seems nice and friendly, but from what I’ve seen, you seem kind of... unwelcoming— almost hostile even towards him.”
At your words, a frown etched itself onto Xavier’s forehead as he turned to face you fully. You seemed so oblivious, standing there with a look of genuine curiosity.
“Do you really not know?” he questioned you incredulously.
You blinked. “Know what?”
Damn it. Xavier sighed and put down the dish he was holding, but the words faltered on his tongue as a sour expression crossed his face. “No matter,” he muttered under his breath.
He took a deliberate step closer, his movements slow and heavy, and you instinctively backed away—
“So,” he said, his voice low, his blue eyes boring into yours as he took one hot step forward after another, “while Sean is nice and friendly, I’m hostile and unwelcoming, huh?”
—only to find yourself pressed against the window, unable to retreat further.
He stood in front of you now, his arms caging you in, creating a barrier that sealed off any chance of escape.
Uh-oh. Apparently, you had flipped that switch—
The air between you grew thick, and you could feel your pulse quicken under the weight of his gaze. “That’s not what I'm getting at—”
“He’s been eyeing you all day, following you around... getting lunches with you—”
In that moment, your phone erupted to life, its ringtone cutting through the tension. It sat on the small table near the windowsill, and Xavier gave it a quick glance, his expression darkening upon seeing Sean's name flash on the screen.
“Oh?” His voice dropped lower, a dangerous glint flickering in his eyes. “He’s now calling you at nights too?”
“No!” you quickly refuted, your words tumbling out almost too fast. “Xavier, don’t get the wrong idea—”
He tilted your jaw to face him, holding your spooked gaze. “Then what idea am I supposed to be getting when he’s so blatantly pursuing you and you don't even do anything about it?”
The plot twist is... you know. Of course you knew it when a guy was trying to make a move on you, you just pretended not to notice it because it was easier that way. You didn’t know which devil had planted this rotten idea in your head that made you want to push Xavier to the edge, just to see how he'd react when he held nothing back—
The call tonight was a coincidence though, but definitely fueled your lover's ire even more. It was a dangerous game, but now that you’d crossed this line, you couldn't go back any longer.
Your lips curled into a bewitching smile then, and your boyfriend was almost mystified. "So, what will you do to me?"
Xavier looked at you with slightly widened eyes, not expecting your boldness at all. But then he grimaced, as at the same time, the irritation in his veins suddenly flared up—
With a swift, fluid motion, he turned you that you faced the window, his right arm wrapping around your waist from behind as he pressed his body against yours—his hardness pressing, almost poking you.
“You’re so clueless,” he growled into your ear before going after your neck, sucking hard and fast. His hips began to grind against you, pressing harder with each movement. “Too damn clueless...!”
His fingers that gripped your belly moved then, slipping inside your frisky nightgown to finger you— and you lost all your wits in that instant. “Ah-h—!”
Two of his fingers pumped in and out of you, dragging them almost rashly, and it took everything in you to stay upright. "X-Xavier!"
“Mmph,” he breathed against the skin of your neck, his other arm pressing you against him tighter, simultaneously squeezing your breasts. "You asked for it."
Your thighs were trembling in no time, and your breaths came in shaky moans. Your boyfriend was not exactly gentle, but this is probably the first time in a while that he was being rough without reservations. While you wanted to protest, it felt too good—
He turned your face towards him then, crashing his lips on yours.
It almost felt like you were punished, but you couldn't do anything about it. The tension in your lower belly was steadily building, ready to snap at any moment, and the way his fingers relentlessly hitting that one unforgivable spot was starting to made you dizzy.
"Ah—ngh!" You finally shuddered when you reached your climax. It was freeing when you felt yourself burst on his fingers, the release smearing your thighs.
And right then your knees buckled—
But Xavier immediately got a secure hold over you, lifting your body effortlessly into his arms, one hand supporting your knees, the other cradling your back. Through your teary eyes, you met his gaze once more. His expression was unreadable, a dark haze of disapproval clouding his features.
“I’m not done yet.”
He brought you over to his bed, gently lying you down despite the roughness of his voice. He parted your legs, getting himself between them—
Ring! Ring!
The shrill sound of your phone pierced the coolness of the room, and you almost jolted.
But your lover... the sound was like a spell to him, only intensifying his irritation as his features twisted with frustration, and you knew that he was about to take it on you.
As if changing his mind, Xavier suddenly flipped you over that you laid on your stomach and straddled you from behind. He quickly turned your head to face him and claimed your lips in a deep, urgent kiss.
“Mm, hmmp—!” The ringtone of your phone blared in the background, a jarring sound that wasn't pleasant at the slightest. It wasn’t until it finally stopped that he pulled away from the kiss.
You were gasping for breath, your chest heaving, and a stray tear slipped from your eyes. Xavier stared at you, and gently wiped it away with his thumb.
Flushed, sweaty, tearful... you looked so enchanting in his eyes in that moment. He almost felt bad that he had manhandled you this roughly.
Almost.
His hands gripped your waist, and he paused, his gaze locked with yours, silently seeking your approval— or more like, commanding you to give it to him.
In response, you arched your back— a silent affirmation, bracing yourself.
From then on, he was no longer holding back. He tugged your panties down and let his throbbing member out of his pants. It was laughable how insatiable he was— both of you were still clothed, save for his unbuttoned shirt, but he was already this aroused and hard.
He nudged forward, his tip breaching your entrance. The feeling of that familiar stretch left you keeling, babbles and whimpers falling from your lips as he slowly eased into you.
It was hard to take him in fully, and you were a mess of breathy gasps the moment you did. But you were in for the main ride when he started ramming into you, pushing in and out of you in a merciless pace.
"Ah... Xavier!" you panted between thrusts, feeling how it started to be too much for you the more he went on. "Ahh, hrah!"
Behind you, Xavier groaned in reply, his lips sucking your shoulder as his hips quickened, striving to bring you to the peak faster. One of his large hands dug into the skin of your stomach, urging your back to arch more, while the other clasped yours, fingers entwined in the sheets.
He watched intently as your face twisted and contorted in ecstasy, a surge of pride swelling within him, greater than he thought possible.
It was mind-blowing, slightly forceful, and your senses were all heightened. The harsh pace drew cries from your lips, your tears falling to the sheets, yet the pleasure also catapulted you into the stars—
The sinful delight of having him so deep within you.
The sinful rapture of being thrusted over and over.
“Ahhh!” And then, all at once, it was as if heaven and hell collided in a cataclysmic burst. Everything inside you shattered as you cried out—a scream morphing into a high-pitched gasp—as the two of you reached the climax together. Your body trembled uncontrollably, your walls clasped around him impossibly tight as Xavier filled you with everything that he had in one shot.
You collapsed against the sheets like a ragdoll, the pressure finally easing from your sore spine.
“Hello? Yes, it’s Xavier...”
The morning after. You stirred awake, your mind still foggy with sleep, as muffled voices filtered in from outside the bedroom.
“I have to take an urgent leave today...”
You were still utterly drained, your body heavy and unwilling to move. Instinctively, your hand reached out to your side, searching for your lover, but the spot was empty.
“Yes. Y/N too. She isn’t well today... We will be back tomorrow...”
You let out a soft, tired whine, your voice plaintive, as you lay sprawled across the bed, wishing for his warmth to return. Honestly, everything was still sore, and you were this close to tears again.
The door then opened with a creak not long after, and you let out a whimper, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Are you awake...?” Xavier's voice was soft, almost hesitant, as he stepped closer to the bed.
You blinked up at him, your vision still blurry. He was already dressed, his crisp appearance in stark contrast to your disheveled state. In his hand, he held a small plastic bag.
“What’s that...?” you mumbled, your voice hoarse as you struggled to prop yourself up, curiosity flickering through your tired gaze.
“Don’t get up too quickly,” Xavier murmured, his hands steady as he caught you mid-movement. He guided you back down and tucked the blankets snugly around you, his touch gentle yet firm. “Just rest for now.”
A low hum of contentment escaped you as you leaned into his touch. Your bleary eyes focused solely on him, and despite himself, Xavier found a smile tugging at his lips.
“I just went to the drugstore downstairs to get you some painkillers,” he explained, lifting the small plastic bag slightly. “Take them after you’ve had some breakfast later.”
He then fixed you a bashful grimace, looking down. “Sorry for... uh, last night... I think I’ve pushed you too far.”
His fingers reached out, brushing gently against your cheek. The same fingers that had driven you to the brink of madness the night before now so tender against your skin. “You were crying,” he murmured, guilt lacing his voice. “I feel bad.”
“Mm-hm, so that’s what happens when you don’t hold back at all,” you snickered softly, the corners of your mouth curving despite the lingering ache in your body.
Xavier shifted his gaze away, his confidence faltering. “Will you... hate me for it?”
It was hard to contain your smile from breaking out into a grin. Your boyfriend, a ferocious wolf in a sheep’s clothing, had no need for this shy charade when he had railed you that hard last night.
“No, but you’re going to have to make it up to me. I can’t even walk now.”
Xavier blinked before he patted your head. “Yeah, I’ll fulfill any of your wishes,” he sighed in relief, a hint of amusement creeping into his voice. “So, what is it?”
You paused for a moment, then with a mischievous glint in your eye, you said, “Take me to the bathroom? I want to have a shower first.”
And, of course, he obliged. With a effortless motion, Xavier scooped you up into a princess carry, holding you close. His arms cradled you with care, and you rested against his chest, the warmth of his embrace offering a sense of security.
Just like that, you spent the rest of the day as lovers, sleeping in with careless abandon, unburdened by your duties.
Epilogue
Later in the afternoon, you were once again deep in a sleep as Xavier cuddled you close, when suddenly the doorbell of his apartment rang incessantly.
Frowning, Xavier carefully eased himself out of bed, making sure not to disturb your slumber. He moved quietly towards the door, and when he saw the intercom, his frown worsened.
Sean, the newbie, was at his doorstep. He had half a mind to ignore him, but after a beat, he decided to open the door.
“What do you want?” his voice sharp with annoyance.
“Oh, Xavier!” The guy was stunned for a moment as his eyes lingered on Xavier’s chiseled abs, exposed through the his unbuttoned shirt. “O-oh, so... I’ve been trying to ring the doorbell to Y/N's apartment to give her a fruit basket to wish her a fast recovery, but she’s not answering—” he hastily explained, gesturing toward the basket in his hand. “Can you reach her—?”
Xavier felt like popping a vein at how meddlesome this guy was. Was this guy an idiot? Didn’t he realize by now that he was your next-door boyfriend?
Nevermind. The hard way it is.
“She’s with me.”
“H-huh?”
He shot him a pointed look. “Don't think you’ll have a chance with her, newbie.”
And with that, he shut the door in his face.
#xavier x reader#lads xavier x reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#l&ds x reader#lads x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x you#l&ds x you#lads smut#lads fluff#xavier x you#xavier fluff#xavier smut#lads xavier#xavier l&ds#xavier x mc#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut#l&ds xavier#l&ds smut#love and deepspace fic
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make your brand look low quality in one easy step
something interesting about willy wonka experience scam is that some were tricked by ai art. goofballs loved to say ai 'art' will make EVERYONE professional artists but when you see an add with ai art your brain already thinks 'this is a fake company'. it already signals 'cheap'
what scoundrel techgoofs never seem to understand is that most successful art that buds like is not entirely about technique it is about taste, and you cannot fake taste. the ai art my look 'technically' proficient, but it also evokes 'scam' 'cheap' and 'things i block on twitter'
art is usually about EVOKING something, and skill of HOW to evoke these feelings is predicated on empathy, which these goofs often lack. will be interesting to see companies realize how much selling out human artists cheapens their brand on a VISCERAL level, where the true marketing lies
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Our Stance On Gen-AI
This year, for the first time, we've had a couple of reports from bidders that the FTH fanworks they received were produced using generative AI. For that reason, we've decided that it's important that we lay out a specific, concrete policy going forward.
Generative AI tools are not welcome here.
Non-exhaustive list of examples:
image generators like Imagen, Midjourney, and similar
video generators like Sora, Runway, and similar
LLMs like ChatGPT and similar
audio generators like ElevenLabs, MusicLM, and similar
Participants found to have used generative AI to produce a fanwork, in part or in whole, for their bidder(s) will be permanently banned from participating in future iterations of Fandom Trumps Hate.
Why?
We understand that there can be contentious debate around the use of generative AI, we know individual people have their own reasons for being in favor of it, and we recognize that many people may simply be unaware that these tools come with any negative impacts at all. Regardless, we are firm in our stance on this for the following (non-exhaustive) list of key reasons in no particular order:
negative, unregulated environmental impact
Over the years, you may have noticed that we’ve supported multiple environmental organizations doing important work to combat climate change, preserve wildlife, and advocate for renewable and sustainable energy policy changes. Generative AI tools produce a startling amount of e-waste, can require massive amounts of storage space and computational power, and are a (currently unregulated) drain on natural resources. Using these tools to produce a fanwork flies in the face of every environmental organization we have supported to date.
plagiarism and lack of artistic integrity
Most if not all generative AI models are trained on some amount of stolen work (across various mediums). As a result, any output generated by these models is at worst plagiarized and at best extremely derivative and unoriginal. In our opinion, using generative AI tools to produce a fanwork demonstrates a lack of care for your own craft, a lack of respect for the work of other creators, and a lack of respect for your bidder and your commitment to them.
undermining our community building impact
One of the best things to come out of the auction every year—we can't even call it a side benefit, because it's so central to us—is that bidders and creators form collaborative relationships which sometimes even turn into friendship. Using generative AI undermines that trust and collaboration.
undermining the value of participating as a creator
Bidders participate in Fandom Trumps Hate for the opportunity to prompt YOU to create a fanwork for them, in YOUR style with YOUR specific skill set. Any potential bidder is perfectly capable of dropping a prompt into a generative AI tool on their own time, if they wish. We hope all creators sign up with the aim to play a role more significant than “unnecessary middleman.”
In general, we try to be as flexible as we can in our policies to allow for the best experience possible for all Fandom Trumps Hate participants. This, however, is something we are not willing to be flexible on. We realize this may seem unusually rigid, but we ask that you trust we have given this serious consideration and respect that while we are willing to answer clarifying questions, we are not open to debate on this topic.
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A DRAGON'S LAIR! ☾ ⋆*・゚⋆*
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— sum: You were exploring Tarus city as a self mission, trying to find the dragon who was told to have lived in the city for many years to come. You thought that you would encounter barely anything, but you were ever so wrong.
— characters: dragon!sylus
— warnings: pining, he tops ur clothes, double penetrartion (he had too dicks), improper use of his tail, manhandling, biting, fuckin from behind. (if i have missed any, please inform me!)
— wc: 1,746
You've never been one to lerk into unknown territory or to find refuge in a random city that you learnt about in a history book — it's never been in your nature at all. But once you saw the posters, you knew that it was a place of worship and surprise.
Tarus city, a city where it's been claimed to have a dragon that laid in the depths of a special cave. The cave was highly risky for any normal human being, I mean, the image that laid on the posters was frightening enough to keep away tourists. The unusually greyish-red that scattered around the cave's entrance, moving around like a line circling a branch, a black thick coating around it which looked like claws when compared to each other, the singular hand on the top leading to the cave like it was inviting you.
You loved mythical creatures so this was a field day for you, you needed to go.
There was also a garden which yearly grew beautiful flowers there, crimson in colour and rose in shape. They scattered everywhere, and they seemed to have been planted by a very skilled gardener — if there even was one back in the early years of life. Oh how you'd love to distress by rolling in there after a long day, what a dream.
But you weren't just there for the cool looking dragon, you were there for the sword. Like that playground sword that you had to remove from the ground, and whoever could move it was the 'chosen one', there was one that laid outside the cave, imbedded in the beautiful scenery of flowers and healthy grass with its delicate pattern leaving you with mysteries.
"Where did it come from?" "What does it symbolise?" "How did it get there out of all places?"
Who owned it?
Well, let's just say that you weren't too scared to find out. You needed answers and if you had to dig into a random mythical cave then you will. Despite the lack of information, you searched up any little tips to help you navigate inside of a cave.
You needed to be prepared, and properly prepared.
After a while of constant climbing and exploring the beautiful long yards of greenery, you stood face to face with the cave that was feared the most back in Linkon City, aka the Dragon's Lair. In the papers, it looked like absolute horror capturing in a frame but in person, it was gorgeous.
The cave was expanded and opened for anyone to come into, and you'd did just that. Entering the cave, you turned on the flashlight you brought, seeing insta treasures of many different kinds of art scattered around the walls of the cave. "Wow...this is cool..." you softly murmured to yourself, still engrossed in the scenery—
...what the hell was that?
A deep and raged growl sped through the walls of the cave like air, filling your eyes with an intense sound. Hissing, the growl's sound waves led you to an expanded room, where a big bed-like item was in the front, surrounding by more jewels of ancient treasures. You found yourself searching around, looking for what this place could've belonged to.
And after 5 minutes, you dug in, "What's the worst that could happen?"
Searching the amazing rich items on the floor, your bag got heavier and heavier with time. Each jewel that caught your eye went in. Some of them even had ancient symbols on them, now that's a lot of money.
But, a singular gem caught your eye. It was a necklace that had a black substance scattered all over it, laying on the bed that was in the middle of the room. "Oh?" your hand went out, curious, "This is peculiar."
The necklace was a beautiful golden chain, wrapping with ancient knots and twists so it was bonded together perfectly. On both sides of the pendants scattered around the necklace, there were small, very intricate patterns dented into the metal. It had a pocture of a dragon on the front, and it...was weirdly shaped. Like the top half was crossed out, but forget that, you just found a good millions of money in your hands.
"Well, that's been a nice journey here cave, thanks for the new finds and...yeah. I'll be going."
You turned for the entrance where you came from, and it was blocked off by a large bolder. "Huh..? Why...who?"
You turned around to find a way to get out when a tail wrapped around your waist, pulling you down to your knees in a rapid manner. You scrapped your knee on the harsh carpet. "Ah! Hah...ow.." You tired to arise from your forced position when you heard a deep voice.
"Were you never taught of etiquette? Or was it just you who missed out?"
He boomed over you, a...handsome man. He was silver hair, crimson eyes and weird black claws and a tail. His clothes bleeding in with his skin.
This isn't the dragon. I mean, it's a literally human being?
"Etiquette? Who are you?" You replied back harshly, not thinking before you spoke. Remembering quickly, it was too late, his tail went around your body before whipping the skin behind you thighs. You yelped, cursing the man-dragon above you.
"You!—" "Me what?"
He arose from his throne, walkijg menacingly to grab your waist before pulling you up to your feet. He turned you around, your back against his toned chest. His hand went over your chin and upper neck, pushing your head back to his shoulder with a smirk.
"Maybe I should teach you," he bite your collarbone before growling, "how to respect a dragon's cave."
"Gahh—Ugggg, you're so deep!—"
"Focus."
That same dragon had you bent over the same drawer you had stolen from, your clothes ripped from his sharp claws just where you soaked pussy was.Your back arched like never before and his hand still around your chin, his teeth biting and sucking on your collarbone with delight. His hips were slow but deep, reaching your cervix with long strokes, his dick sending you into a wave of pleasure.
"What's the answer?"
He'd made you write down the rules of entering his cave again, the pencil shaking vigorously in your trembling hands. The paper soaking up your falling tears as you begged and pleaded with the man above you. "Hahh— Sylus— please...! Please! I might just—"
His tail traveled down your clit, gently caressing it with the peek of the tail. "Write it down, or I'll do even worse." He threatened, and you obeyed, grabbing the pencil and harshly writing down, "I will be respectfu—"
"Ah!!" His hip gave you a sharp thrust, a warning to behave and write properly. His hand groping your wee cheeks to the point that you could feel his claws digging into your flesh. "You have one more chance." With every word, he thrusted harder until you shrieked, your body bending more forward to escape his powerful hips, you pussy squeezes into the life out of him.
Your hands went back, trying to push his pelvis away from you. "Hm?" He hummed, his eyebrow rising before you hear a chuckle, "Want me to slow down sweetie?" His voice was playful, yet you nodded quickly anyway.
"Too bad." 

He sped up, his hips snapping so fast with your to the point where it echoed in the room. Your hands banged on the drawer, lookijg for a way to soothe to intense pleasure that you were being given. You couldn't even speak, your face fucked out and your body slowly weakening.
"S-Sy...luss...I can't...! Please..." You begged, trying to find a better way to convince him to give you a break. His dick the was so deep that you thought that it was two dicks at once. It felt so huge, and more struggle.
The stretch was too much, you yelled, "Sylus! Why is it—" You gasped loudly, relent that he had two massive ducks in you at the moment, both of them lodged deep in your pussy. In that moment, you nearly passed out. "Ahh ah hah...hahh!!" You cried out, tensing, "Pleaseee..."
"You're fine, just one more." Sylus cheered on, his tail moving up to caress your back, travelling down the straight line. His tail met your ass, gently put slowly digging it into your other hole, "No! No no, please, i can't, please," Your whole body was shaking, your sweat coating your skin.
"Mhm, fine, for now." Sylus replied in a teasing tone before continuing to roll his hips into yours, and by that tight squeeze he knew that you were close. You stood a little, crying, "I can feel it!— I need to pee—Why does it feel like I need to pee?!—"
He reassured you, speaking in your ear, "It's normal, you're fine, just relax." You wasn't breathing at all. He grabbed your chin again before ordering you, "Cum."
Your orgasm hit you, your lungs not being able to take in oxygen due to the sheer force of your release. The intense feeling was still shocking you, your hands braking some of the wood of the drawer due to your grip. Your legs shaking like no ever before you felt his claws tap your chest, "Hey, Breathe."
You took a deep breath in before covering your mouth, instantly being met with fatigue. "I need a rest...I can't feel myself..." Sylus chuckled at your position, his hand goijg around your waist to carry you to his bed. "It's okay, you took both off my dicks, well done."
"I knew you'd come along," Sylus hummed, "so just relax my Queen, I'll take care of you.
this is not proofread! i was too eager to post so sorry hotties!
@ aly4khq, do not plagiarise, translate or copy my work. (30/11/24)
#lads#love and deepspace#l&ds#l&ds x reader#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#lnds mc#lnds#lnds x reader#sylus fluff#sylus qin#sylus x mc#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#sylus x reader#lads sylus x reader#sylus smut#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#dragon sylus#sylus myth#sylus x you#sylus#lads smut#lnds smut#lnds spoilers#aly4khqq
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THE HEART GROWS FONDER
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pairing : kento nanami x f!reader summary : (requested) — kento nanami loved you before he even knew you, and his feelings were the one thing he never questioned. like pieces of a puzzle, you fit together. whatever happens, your feelings never waver. cw : childhood friends to lovers, reader is v emotional, canon events/jjk0 spoilers, mentions of character death, mutual and intense pining, miscommunication lack of communication, mild one-bed-trope?, platonic!satoru (bc apparently i am unable to write anything without mentioning him), light profanity, pet names, talk of wedding, sweet fluff, a good chunk of angst, slight jealousy, no use of y/n word count : 10.1 k
Kento was a knowledgeable man.
He knew how long it took to get from one place in Tokyo to another, no matter what time of day it was. Well aware of all the best routes for traveling the city most efficiently, even during rush hours.
He knew all the ways to make the most money. Not what he was proudest of, but working hard had garnered him a set of useful skills that made him a good employee, a real asset to the company.
He knew how to read a map, a skill long forgotten by most in this day and age. Should he ever find himself in a situation where there was no reception, he would be able to get his hands on a sheet displaying the nearby areas and figure out how to return to civilisation.
He knew how to best take care of his body. He had done extensive research to make sure he moved his body correctly during workouts to not harm himself. He wasn’t interested in aching joints when he was old and gray.
And he knew he loved you — since the very first moment his eyes landed on you all those years ago.
He remembered the exact moment in excruciating detail as well, like how he had turned a little scared at the unfamiliar sensation of a racing heartbeat. When pressing his hand to his chest, he felt the rapid thumping. He quickly realised it was caused by the sight of you when it happened every time he spotted you.
His dad would tease him whenever he caught Kento sitting in the windowsill, chubby cheeks resting on his forearms as he gazed lovingly towards the little girl playing in her front yard a few houses down. “I’m sure she would love to play with you.” His face would turn bright crimson, a colour that had become all too common in the Nanami household whenever you were brought up, before an embarrassed Kento would stomp up to his room.
He didn’t learn your name until the first day of school — your parents had arranged for the two of you to walk to school together. He had been over the moon when he heard the news, pure excitement filling his body to the point where he could not sit still. But the moment he was stood in front of you, your voice sweet as honey when introducing yourself, his throat dried out and he turned tongue tied. His mom placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing his feet back on the ground, “Kento,” he croaked weakly before disappearing into his jacket.
With small feet carrying you to and from school, you tried to force a conversation out of him but to no prevail. He remained shy and quiet, eventually resulting in a statement that had saddened him more than he could have anticipated; “you don’t talk much, do you?”
There had been no ill intent in your words, but it had Kento distance himself from you. What was supposed to blossom into a friendship (and maybe even more with time), only simmered down to him consistently trialing five steps behind you on the path to school that became all too bleak when it hadn’t turned out how he had imagined it.
His infatuation didn’t seem to disappear anytime soon either. If anything, now having the opportunity to observe you in closer proximity only deepened his feelings. He now got to witness the outgoing and bubbly personality that was wrapped in your cute exterior, exceeding all his expectations of what he had imagined you would be like — fascinated by how you seemed to excel in aspects where he lacked.
And the more time that passed, it seemed the day he would find the courage to catch up and walk along side you traveled further out of his reach.
He continued to admire from afar, watching as you earned yourselves new friendships as easily as putting your shoes on in the morning. Kento wasn’t the only one drawn to your outgoing personality and charming smile, his heart breaking a little when you formed a tight knit friend group and he didn’t get to be a part of it.
That’s how it went. Kento sort of just blended into the background, never making a number of himself. He was nearly certain no one really knew he even existed at all (except the teachers, who absolutely adored him). Day after day, he sat by himself with a book in his hands, only ever looking up to admire you for a few seconds as you would play with your friends.
However, he preferred the quiet life in school more than what it evolved into as second grade rolled around.
During recess, he would sit with his book, same as always, counting the minutes until school was over so he would walk those five familiar steps behind you — that’s when two third graders had approached him, their intention clear as day.
Their antics continued for two weeks — until what he thought was the voice of an angel interrupted.
“Hi there.”
Kento would recognise that voice anywhere, turning towards the source to see you, huge grin plastered on your face, both hands behind your back as you stared down the two third graders.
“What’s going on here?” You asked in such a sweet and innocent tone, but all three of the boys could see there was something borderline unfriendly in your eyes that was not present in your words.
“Doesn’t concern you,” one of the mean kids bit back.
“Hmm,” you hummed, pressing your lips together before shifting to a serious tone. “I think it does, because from over there-“ you pointed in the direction of where you had stood moments earlier, “it looked like you were picking on my friend.”
Friend? Had he heard you right?
Before they could retaliate, you had already opened your mouth again, “I’ll scream! The adults will come and you’ll be in biiiig trouble!” Your tone had been so cheerful, but that same threatening intent lingered in your gaze — a look one did not want to receive from a stubborn, little seven year old.
It seemed like your scare tactic worked, because after grumbling to themselves for a few seconds, they shuffled away with their tails between their legs. And once they were far enough away not to be a bother anymore, you squatted down on the gravel beside Kento, wrapping your arms around your legs.
“You okay, Kento?” Completely transformed, not a hint of your malice present any longer, just soft and genuine concern when speaking his name.
He blinked a few times, using the back of his hand to dry the few tears that had watered up in the corner of his eyes before he answered you. “‘M fine,” he sniffled, then daring to look you in the eyes to mutter a shy “thank you.”
“Anytime.”
You couldn’t explain why you had decided to interfere — because labelling Kento a friend wasn’t entirely true. The boy had barely said a word to you for the year you had known him, but you had just been filled with anger when you witnessed the older kids choose to pick on him. He did not have a mean bone in his body. And maybe somewhere along the line, you had gained a soft spot for the reserved kid, having not been able to stop glancing over your shoulder from time to time when you walked to and from school, just to make sure he was still there.
Never had Kento imagined that the taunting from his upperclassman would be his biggest blessing to date. He no longer sat alone during lunch, but instead accepted your invite to eat with you and your little clique.
And finally your friendship with Kento had the opportunity to grow.
Thanks to you, school had become a lot more enjoyable for him after that. The walks to and from school was no longer spent with an awkward distance, now matching your pace as you both indulged in small talk from the moment you left school until he left you at your door.
He knew he should have been satisfied, and in one way he was. He was finally allowed to call you his friend after all, but during school hours, you usually hung out the entire group. And on your spare time, you had a tendency to reserve your time just for the girls. So while he wished for more, he continued to shoot longing, and not so subtle, gazes across the table.
It abruptly changed when you were thirteen, walking home from school like any other day, when your blunt question had cut through the conversation.
“Hey, you want to go to the movies with me?”
“What?” Kento’s thirteen year old brain had not been able to comprehend the question, stopping dead in his tracks to stare at you with big eyes, swallowing the massive lump in his throat. Had you just asked him on a date?
You stopped when you noticed he did, staring right back at him like this wasn’t a big deal. “None of the girls were interested, and you’re the only boy in our group I can tolerate without any of the girls,” you rolled your eyes. You had turned a little feisty when entering your teens.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said, drawing his lips into an awkward line, hoping he could play it off as a smile.
Your deadpanned expression immediately twisted into one of pure joy. “Great!”
Kento had stood in front of his mirror all afternoon, using both his hands to smoothen the crinkles of his shirt, treating it very much like a date. He didn’t even realise how long he had been stressing in his room until his mom came knocking, telling him you were waiting outside.
He had been a little disappointed when he saw you, because it became very evident you did not consider it a date. Wearing the same outfit you had worn to school that day, resting on the handlebars of your bike. “C’mon, we need to get popcorn before the movie starts,” you nagged, just the tiniest bit annoyed.
When stood in the kiosk, he had offered to pay for the popcorn, like the good, little gentleman he had been raised to be. “Oh, no need. Mom gave me money to pay for it,” you said cheerfully with a shrug and a smile. “Thanks, though.”
The movie couldn’t hold Kento’s attention, even if he wanted to, because for the whole ninety minutes you had your knee rested against his. The sensation of the shy touch of your leg had his heart beat so loud against his ribcage, he was scared you might turn to him and tell it to shush so you could hear the movie.
It wasn’t much, but the pressing feeling was definitely prominent enough that you had to be aware of it too. And in his mind, it seemed only logical you kept your leg still against his because you wanted it to touch him. But whenever he flickered his eyes over to you, you seemed utterly unbothered, attention fixated on the screen as your hand continued to grab popcorn from the bucket.
He tried to keep his breath even, letting his tension spill out by clenching and unclenching his fists. He was so determined to sit completely still, scared the tiniest flinch would cause you to shift your leg away from him.
Trips to the movies, just in each other’s company, became a regular occurrence after that. And about half of the time, you let him pay… only because you paid the other half, but he let himself wallow in the idea that he was treating you for the evening.
He was in high school when one of your friends had asked about it. “What’s really going on there, Kento?”
He had immediately decided to play dumb. Not because he was embarrassed, but if there was even the slightest chance it would feed them material they could use to make you uncomfortable, he wanted to avoid it. “What do you mean?”
“Come on, man,” he laughed mockingly. “You and her,” nodding towards where you stood with your girlfriends in the cafeteria line. “The two of you hang out with each other more than us these days.”
“I don’t know, we’re friends?” Kento shrugged, almost certain he was able to play it off as casual.
“Friends? Right, friends who constantly go on movie dates together.”
“They’re not dates,” was all he had been able to say to defend himself, feeling his cheeks grow hot like they had done when he was younger.
They had all chucked at him then. “Yeah, whatever man. Congratulations bagging the prettiest girl in school,” was the last thing that was said before you and the rest of the girls joined their table. You sat down beside Kento, like always.
Carefully, you had nudged his arm to get his attention. “You okay?” You asked quietly so only he could hear.
He gave you a weak but genuine smile. “Yes, just lost in thought is all.” You smiled back at him, making his heart skip a beat.
You don’t remember when it changed for you. If it had been a gradual thing, or if you had just woken up one day with this feeling — but something was definitely different.
The realisation had hit you mid sentence. Rambling on about some meaningless topic, like you always did, and suddenly you noticed the way he was looking at you.
He was listening so intently, not missing a single word coming from your mouth, a faint smile stamped at the corner of his lips and a tenderness in his eyes you hadn’t really noticed before. You only managed to snap out of it when he spoke your name.
“Am I losing you by not talking?” He teased before taking a sip out of his coffee.
“Shit,” you muttered, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “I just remembered this group assignment I have due tomorrow.” A lie — and an obvious one at that. But Kento didn’t get a moment to ask any follow-up questions before you had gathered your stuff and rushed to say goodbye, leaving him alone in the cafe.
For the entire walk home, you thought about Kento, now suddenly in a new light, reflecting over the entirety of your friendship.
You became aware of how he always seemed to prioritise you in the group without hesitation. You had just brushed it off, assuming he felt indebted to you for coming to his rescue when you were seven. But you realised now how ridiculous that sounded.
You thought of all the times he had come running when you had asked for him. Whether it was after a fight with one of your girlfriends, or a date that had gone horribly wrong, he dropped everything to be by your side.
You realised now why you always caught yourself answering with a frown when girls came to ask you about him. As you had gotten older, he had definitely grown into his looks, a subtle kind of handsome that snuck up on you.
When you got home, you had pulled out your phone to send a text to apologise for bailing so abruptly. But you typed and deleted the message twenty times over, anxiety you had never felt about him before overwhelming you. In the end, you ended up not sending anything at all, feeling like no words sufficed.
And the next time you met, you acted as if nothing had happened, and he just went along with it.
You tried desperately to act as if nothing had changed, beyond terrified you would scare him off or make him uncomfortable if he picked up on your new and revolutionary feelings for him. If there was one thing you were absolute certain about, it was that you would never do anything to jeopardise the friendship you had with him. There was no competition of what person in your life you cherished the most; Kento Nanami. You’d be the earth's biggest fool to gamble that away for anything.
When you were 16, you nearly caved.
In your desperate attempt of keeping things normal, you had continued your meaningless escapades — which meant going on terrible dates with even more terrible guys — turns out teenage boys are just assholes by default.
“It’s their loss,” Kento cooed in a warm tone, sitting beside you on your bed with a comforting arm around your shoulders.
In all honesty, you didn’t even care all that much about the date. You couldn’t even remember the guy’s name. No, your mind was way more interested in how his strong hand cupped your arm so perfectly.
You turned to look at him, faces closer than ever before. He happily held your gaze — you were just hoping he was able to read the messages it conveyed.
Tell me to stop seeing these guys, and I’ll stop.
Tell me you want me the way I want you.
Tell me it’s you I’m meant to be with.
“You’ll find someone worthy of you eventually.”
Your heart sunk, having built up your own expectations based on how his eyes had roamed your face as if he truly desired you. Maybe this was all in your head.
It wasn’t.
But Kento, much like you, didn’t want to lose you over anything. Confessing risked the relationship he already had with you. He would rather have you as a friend, than not have you in his life at all.
Not long after that, you both joined Jujutsu tech. Slowly but surely, you slipped away from your childhood group — him more than you. You tried your very best to stay in touch, though your new schedule made that hard.
With these new threats looming around you, neither of you could help how your friendship — or whatever you would call what was going on between you — continued to grow deeper. More serious. It went unsaid by the both of you, but there was just a mutual understanding that it was the logical development when there was the slightest possibility of it ending all too soon.
Still neither of you confessed.
You fell into routines, so accustomed to seeing him every minute of every day, your first instinct when returning from a mission was to find him.
As expected, Kento heard the three soft knocks he knew all too well at this point, before you squeezed through his door. With a deep exhale, you fell back on his bed, while he sat in his desk chair, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m exhausted.”
“Did you just get back?” His muscles were a little tense, like they always where whenever you had to go on a mission without him, his eyes searching every inch of you to see if there were any visible injuries he had to worry about.
“Little over an hour ago. Had to escape Gojo talking my ear off about his own mission.”
Kento observed how the corner of your lips tugged upwards in a tired smile, your chest vibrating with a soft chuckle.
He was always happy to see you come back unharmed, but he hated the exhaustion that rested in your joints — and it filled him with an unexplainable urge to help you somehow.
He imagined guiding you to lay on your stomach, placing his legs on each side of you and slowly soothing your muscles, rubbing caring motions along the curves of your body to fill it with the relaxation you deserved — but he couldn’t. It would definitely cross a line, too intimate for just friends.
“Glad you’re back,” he said almost in a whisper.
“Me too.” He could barely hear you, the mission slowly catching up with your energy as well, sensing on your breathing that you weren’t too far from falling asleep.
The silence that surrounded you was comfortable. You had grown so accustomed to each other’s presence, any awkwardness had ceased to exist. Nevertheless, Kento didn’t quite know what to do with himself, just looking at you sprawled out on his bed, a scene he would like to see every night.
“Kento?” Your voice was so soft.
“Yes?”
“Can I stay here tonight?”
He heard the slight hesitation in your voice before you expressed your request. Raising up his neck and face was a burning heat, his breathing coming out shallow as he didn’t quite know what to say.
Being a cautious man, he thought of every possible outcome.
It was prohibited, so he should decline. But he would hate himself forever if he simply sent you away because of the school’s outdated rules — he also knew he would regret it until his heart stopped beating.
So having you stay here was the only reasonable outcome — but then what? He supposed he would end up sleeping on the floor, like the gentleman he was. He would at least never assume he could sleep next to you, and he would not be as vulgar to ask.
He cleared his throat before speaking. “Of course. I’ll just-“
“Kento,” you said his name again, just as soft as always.
“Yeah?”
“There’s room for both of us on the bed.”
He had to swallow the massive lump that felt as if it was suffocating him. It at least stopped any further words to come out of his mouth. He slowly raised from the chair, floorboards creaking as he stepped over.
With his eyes locked on you, seemingly so calm with your eyes closed, he positioned himself beside you so he was facing you.
Goosebumps prickled up his arm when he felt your breath fan against his face, and he wondered how you managed to keep it in such an even rhythm. Didn’t this closeness send lightning through your body like it did for him, temptation threatening the act of finally crossing the line?
There was a crease between your eyebrows that seemed unintentional, like the events of the day had just planted themselves on your face and even your calm breathing couldn’t ease it. Against his better judgment, Kento’s urges steered his thumb towards your face, not reflecting over his action before he had ran his skin across the crinkle to smoothen the tension.
Shit, he thought to himself, certain you would open your mouth to tell him off — instead he saw how there had been a slight strain to your shoulders that was now released.
While he let his eyes roam your face, taking in every breathtaking aspect of your beauty, he felt a small spark of fear fill him at how right it all felt — lying next to you, so close he could feel the warmth radiate from your skin, his soft touch being able to bring rest to your body, the mere idea that he could envelop you in his arms if he wanted to.
“I’m happy you’re here with me,” your voice startled him a little, as he had assumed you had already fallen into the oblivion of sleep. “I’d never be able to navigate this world without you.”
“That’s not true.” Your eyes opened to meet his, catching his breath immediately, so stunningly deep he always felt himself fall into them. “You’ve always been the one looking out for me.”
You chuckled a little at that, endless memories of the two of you throughout childhood. “I guess in one way. But you’ve always kept me afloat.”
“You give yourself too little credit.” He had to stop himself from letting his fingers graze your cheek in the most tender caress. “You would have done just fine on your own.”
A small smile of flattery dared dance on your lips. “But I don’t want to.” It felt like a confession, unspoken feelings hidden within those words, begging for him to be able to deduce the true meaning. “Thinking of a life where you’re not at my side scares me.”
“Let’s never find out what that life is like.”
Kento would later eat those words.
Haibara’s death hit Kento the hardest. Numerous evenings were spent in the eerie silence of his cold dorm. When he cried, you held him. When he was trying to distract himself by reading, you sat and watched him, keeping him company. When he went the entire night without sparing you the slightest gaze, you knew you had overstayed your welcome, leaving him to be alone for a night.
“I don’t think I will continue to be a sorcerer.”
That was the first thing he said that hadn’t been a complete necessity, and it sent a spike of ice down your spine, not daring to understand his statement right away.
“Oh,” was the only thing you could think of to respond that did not entertain his idea.
His eyes met yours, the eye contact more intense than it had been for days, realising just how much you had missed having his kind eyes directed at you. Seemed like he felt it too, as the smallest gasp slipped out of him.
“I mean it.”
The tears instantly burned in your eyes, blinking them away before they had the chance to come running. “That's what scares me,” your voice betrayed you as the usual confidence came out cracked.
He didn’t push it any further, reading you as an open book — you knew he was telling the truth, but refused to acknowledge it. It was like if you ignored his statement, it would somehow end differently.
Luckily, after that night, Kento started to somewhat fall back to his old self. His smile started to return, it was easier to hold a conversation with him, which you obviously appreciated — however, he had planted a fear in you that had taken your body hostage.
You abandoned any sense of boundaries entirely, hanging onto his arm at all times. It was only when you were physically aware of his frame you were able to cling onto a string of peace. Feeling his body glued at your side only served as a confirmation that he was still here, and as long as you held on he couldn’t go anywhere. He couldn’t leave.
And whenever you had to pry yourself off of him to tend to your responsibilities where he wasn’t assigned, you were constantly living in a state of anxiety. Foot tapping against the floor, picking at your skin, petrified you would end up returning to see his room stripped of any signs of life — that he would have finally done the thing he said he would do, and part with the Jujutsu world.
Every time you returned, the sweetest sensation of relief washed over you, tears welling up immediately when he always stood ready to greet you. “Hey you,” he said softly, pulling you into his arms, holding you tight until he could physically feel your body let go of the stress that had tainted every muscle, every joint, for the entire time you had been separated.
But graduation day came and time was up.
You had held onto hope he would eventually change his mind, that it was only the initial grief that had weighed heavy on his conscience. But you were now standing in his bare room, everything packed into cardboard boxes. Of course it had only been a childish dream to think he would stay — there was no changing his mind.
“I really am sorry.” He was so earnest, like always, making it hard to be mad at him even though you so desperately wanted to. He genuinely had so much compassion, his hands stroking your arms in an attempt to calm the bouncing of your shoulders that followed the frantic rhythm of your sobs.
“I just don’t understand why?” You continued to sob, sentence coming out in sad intervals as you heaved for air.
“This isn’t right. It’s not right of them to expect us to be okay with watching our partners lay down their lives like this.”
You wanted so badly to scream at him, bang your fists against his chest before clasping onto his shirt so he wouldn’t even have the opportunity to leave. You knew it was unwarranted for you to feel that way, but the fact that he was following through with his stunt felt like a betrayal.
“You said we weren’t going to find out what this would be like.”
His heart shattered. Looking into your doe eyes, tainted red with sorrow as the sentence laced with innocence sent him back to every fragile evening throughout your journey together he had spent comforting you. How many tears he had dried, happily so? But this time it was his doing — him who brought you to a state of despair so grave you couldn’t breathe, and he knew this time he wouldn’t be able to comfort you.
Waiting for his next words were torture, time at a standstill watching his mouth open and close while he constructed the sentence in his mind. Though useless, the glimmer of hope refused to die out, begging for his surrender — you’re right, I’ll stay.
“I’m sorry.”
Another one of your earth shattering sobs came flying past your lips, stabbing him right in the heart that had only ever beaten for you.
Comforting you would always be second nature to him, which had his hands cup your face and pulling it closer to rest his forehead against yours. He wished, begged, for his touch to bring you comfort one last time before he left. But your body continued to shake. “It’ll be okay,” he tried to reassure you, spoken in a faint whisper. Repeating it over and over, waiting for his small affirmations to take affect — they never did.
Ask me to come with you.
Those six words played like a broken record in your mind, knowing you would pack your bags and abandon this god forsaken life at the drop of a hat if he just asked you to.
Come with me.
The request laid restless at the tip of his tongue, fighting every voice in him that was screaming at him to be selfish. But he couldn’t with you, never with you.
Unlike him, you had a purpose in this world — you were able to see the good in what you did, and he would never be able to forgive himself if he ripped you away from it no matter how much he wanted to.
There seemed like there was no limit to your tears. Shuddering against his touch, he sensed your body didn’t have much energy left to stand. He ended up leading the two of you to his bed, stripped bare to just the mattress, duvet folded at the end. Without any words spoken, you laid down in his arms, burying your face in his chest while the sobs continued to tumble out uncontrollably.
His strong arms locked around you, holding you as close to him as humanly possible, letting the illusion of him never disappearing from you live on for another night.
Eventually your sobs calmed down, only happening sporadically. The shaking stopped and he felt your breathing even out, telling him you had finally been able to let sleep consume you.
He couldn’t stop himself — placing a chaste kiss at the crown of your head, mumbling quiet and secret apologies before sleep caught him too.
According to Gojo, his departure had been quick. He hadn’t said much, just given them all a nod before grabbing his bags and disappearing.
You had decided against seeing him off. The two of you had said your goodbyes the night before in the solemn of his empty dorm. It had been wet, heartbreaking and nothing short of painful, but at least it had been private between the two of you. No one knew how your tears had soaked his shirt, or how your fists had created crinkles in the fabric while desperately holding onto him. No one knew how you had cried until the exhaustion knocked you out in his arms, so scared to wake up to face the new reality where Kento wasn’t at your immediate side like he had been since you were kids.
You couldn’t really remember what it was like to not have him there. Even before you had grown close, he had always lingered, the one thing in your life that had stayed consistent throughout it all was him.
The next weeks were absolutely torture, having to feed the people surrounding you endless lies of “I’m fine, really.” You were really just trying to prevent yourself from letting the reality set in properly. If that can of worms were to open again, you had no clue when or how you would be able to stop it. Last time you had still been able to seek some comfort against his warmth, only able to stop it because you practically passed out.
Not a single moment passed where he didn’t cross your mind, small things reminding you of him. All your little routines — for days you forgot to grab lunch because you were so used to him bringing it to you. For days you ended up with one towel too many, because you always brought an extra for him after training. Mundane things you had always taken for granted, gone in an instant.
Despite feeling a little betrayed, you couldn’t really blame him either. So you reached deep within yourself to try and stay positive. It wasn’t like he was gone gone, he had just retreated to a normal life.
You stayed in touch, sending regular updates about how you were getting by in the world of curses without him — lying of course. When he had left, he had taken some of the purpose you had in it all with him. But you didn’t want him to worry. You told him how you eventually started teaching at Jujutsu High alongside Gojo, and it felt nice to be responsible for the next generation of sorcerers.
And at first you received regular updates in return. He got himself a quaint little apartment that fitted his needs perfectly. You even got a few blurry photos of how he had tried to decorate it so it would feel more homely — you had cried when you received those.
You never called each other though. It seemed like there was a mutual understanding that it would be too unbearable to hear the voice of the other.
After a while, the updates slowly came to a halt. You kept on sending yours however, only for that little checkmark to appear and confirm he had read it. But no answer — you cried then too.
Had you said something or done something to make him cut the contact? You never managed to wrap your head around why he stopped showing you his new life.
Kento had never wanted to stop sending the messages — on the contrary. If anything, he had to stop himself from not telling you about every single minute of his day, even the most meaningless things, just as an excuse to talk to you.
But one day, thanks to a white haired little birdie, all consuming guilt had struck him. “She doesn’t say it, but she’s miserable.”
He held his breath, his fingers unintentionally clenching tighter around his phone. “She is?” His voice came out faint. He heard Gojo let out a deep sigh at the other end of the line.
“She tries. Very hard. I stopped asking a long time ago because she kept lying anyways.”
“Oh.” Kento had been a fool, believing your words when he had read them on his screen. When he hadn’t been able to hear the tone behind the statements, he had been able to convince himself they were genuine. But of course you were lying — he was, after all.
“But I think she really enjoys teaching,” Gojo said after a moment of sad silence, trying to fill the conversation with some optimism. “And the kids love her.”
“Yes, I can imagine as much,” a small smile appearing on his lips, picturing the scene of you with the young students.
“Look, I have to run, she’s waving me over. Should I-“
“No!” Kento rushed to cut him off. “No, don’t say anything. Please.”
He made up his mind then and there — he was not going to cause you any more pain. So he had to let you go entirely to allow you to move on. The way he was selfishly clinging onto the crumps you gave him seemed to do you no good, if the image Gojo painted was accurate.
So he stopped. Even though his fingers urged to reach out, he fought against it, for you.
You, however, could not hinder how your finger pressed the send button every now and then. The updates definitely became less frequent when he went radio silent, but you did not have the strength to stop. If you stopped… there was a fear he would never come back.
Kento was supposed to share his life with you.
He had believed so ever since he was a little kid, ogling you from afar before he even knew your name. The way you made his heart jump and pulse quicken had to be his body’s way of telling him you were meant to be with him, quickly growing addicted, dependent, on the reactions you created in him without trying.
But he had made the drastic choice of abandoning that feeling, convinced the alternative did you harm — and the mere concept of being the reason you even felt the faintest glimmer of discomfort was something he could not live with.
He welcomed the misery, a small price to pay for the belief that you were doing better now. He also thought he had good reason to believe that was the case.
The updates you sent him were few and far between these days, but it did paint a picture. You were rarely in the photos, but there was an energy present in the moments eternalised that seemed pleasant and positive. He imagined you had found your role, your place in life where you would get to fulfil your potential. And whether or not he was there was irrelevant.
He convinced himself his own insecurities were a reality to make it easier to bear.
Ever since childhood, you had been the headstrong one. The independent one. The brave one. It always lingered in the back of his mind whenever he just observed you in different scenarios — that it really didn’t matter if he was there or not, forever just an accessory to your life. He even feared he was holding you back somehow.
So it was only reasonable to think time away from him would have provided you with the playing field to develop into the best version of yourself… right?
Years went by and Kento’s pain didn’t ease. He missed you — every single day. And he kept living in that constant state of torture for you, until the fantasy shattered.
It was just another day, nothing out of the ordinary. Kento was going about his drowsy routines of stopping by the same bakery he did every morning before work. However today, he was nearly tackled by two kids, a boy and a girl about the age of six, once he entered the building.
“I’m so sorry, sir,” a grown woman rushed over to apologise as she brought the children back to their little table.
“It’s no problem,” he mumbled monotonously, eyes following them as they scattered back to their seats, where another woman sat.
A wave of nostalgia crashed over him, feeling like he had the privilege of looking back in time. The little boy resembled a young Kento Nanami, his blonde locks neatly styled, chubby, red cheeks and a baby-blue button up shirt — a rather mature attire for a six year old.
And the boy had his eyes glued on his friend, a girl the same age, very evidently the more outgoing out of the two. She was rambling enthusiastically, arms waving all over the place as he told her story down to the smallest detail, exhibiting the same spark you always had.
The boy kept a glare of pure awe as he followed her every word, seen so clearly in his eyes how much he admired her. And Kento knew how this story would continue — that night the boy would lay in his bed, the biggest smile on his face, unable to fall asleep as the day spent with his friend would play on repeat in his mind — much like Kento had spent countless nights when he was young.
It wasn’t until the girl behind the counter called for him he was able to pull his attention away from the all too familiar scene.
So polite, a sweet smile on her face as she served him the same thing he ordered every day. And then she asked how he was sleeping. It fascinated him, how this girl didn’t owe him anything, and had her own worries — like the little curse sat on her shoulder — and still showed concern for him.
He had noticed the curse before, but purposely never done anything about it. It wasn’t a proper threat, and it would be more of a hustle for him to deal with the reactions of ridding her of it than let it be. But now, having the innocent scene a few feet from him remind him of you, he quickly began to consider doing the girl a favour.
You would have exorcised it — without hesitation.
Not just that, you would probably give him crap for not exorcising it immediately. It wouldn't cost him anything to do it, so why wouldn’t he?
“Could you take a step forward, please?” Kento asked politely, the girl a little confused but doing as he said. He had your voice in the back of his mind while he easily exorcised the curse with one swift motion, the strain in her shoulder easing immediately.
“Huh? It’s lighter!” She exclaimed, rolling her arm around at the newfound relief.
“If anything still feels off, please go to the hospital,” he said with a small nod. He grabbed his food and headed for the exit, sparing one last glance at the table where the two kids sat, still deep in the conversation.
His lungs let out a deep, involuntary breath when the realisation dawned on him — he could no longer stay away, caving to his desires.
Maybe enough time had passed for it not to be considered selfish? If you had in fact found your place where you were content and comfortable, and meeting him again would be causal for you?
The questions kept circulating his mind as he pulled out his phone to dial the one person who would be able to set it all up at the blink of an eye.
His whole world stopped when he saw you, and he wondered how he had ever thought it a good idea to leave you — how could he possibly have survived all that time without you?
It was almost painful how his heart was clawing at the inside of his chest, desperate to be with you. It wasn’t until he felt the overwhelming pounding he realised his heart had not beat properly for the years he had spent away — meant to beat in unison with yours. His skin was turning cold as ice and the only way for it to regain its warmth was your touch, your soft embrace.
Kento hadn’t known what to expect when he saw you again, but he had certainly thought he would have more rational and coherent thoughts. Right now, it was all scrambling in his head and the only thing that appeared clearly in his mind was you, framed in the halo of your aura, taking his breath as way just as easily as when he was six.
With his body going numb, he observed you interact with Gojo and two kids he assumed were your students. You looked calm, a small smile decorating the plump line of your lips — it wasn’t as radiant as it used to be. In fact, your entire energy just seemed a little off. Maybe you had just gotten home from a mission, or it has been a hectic day in general.
Truth was not so mundane. You wished it was as simple as a long and tiring day. That would mean you could just jump in bed and sleep it off, ready to face a new day tomorrow.
But the day Kento left the jujutsu society behind, he unintentionally stole your spark with him.
You could never hate him for it though, he didn’t know. He only did what he felt like he needed to do, and you would be a terrible friend to stand in the way of that. But you had no control over how your mind decided to react.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder was something you had always heard growing up, and you had never really understood it — until faced with the situation yourself.
Not a day went by where you didn’t think of Kento. You thought of how his grin always grew slowly when watching you, eventually revealing the shy smile lines across his cheeks. The ghost of his touch, which was always dancing the line of appropriate or not, never leaving your mind. Sometimes you still felt the imprint of his arms around you.
“Don’t you guys listen to him for a second,” you chuckled, the tiniest hint of frustration in your voice. “Gojo doesn’t qualify as a responsible adult.”
His jaw fell to the ground in fake offence, eyebrows narrowing at the innocent laughs spilling from the students. “You were never this mean when we were younger,” he whined, folding his arms across his chest, looking like a stubborn child.
“That’s what you think,” you teased, nudging an elbow into his side. “You should have heard the things we said about you behind closed doors.”
His big hand came piercing through the air, pressing it against your face, gently shoving you away from the conversation. A lighthearted, but genuine, little laugh escaped you. “We don’t want to hear what you and your little boyfriend did in private,” Gojo rolled his eyes, pretending to gag at the made up memories.
Annoying as he was, Gojo had a way to actually make you forget the pain of it all for a few seconds. You would never tell him, obviously, that he managed to put the storm inside your head on hold for a second — he would rub it in your face every chance he got.
“Wait, senpai had a boyfriend when she attended here?” One of the students interjected and suddenly the mood of the conversation shifted. Gojo’s hand fell from your face before he shot you an apologetic smile.
For the most part, it was never a problem whenever Kento was brought up in the company of Gojo and Shoko. Everything was out in the open between the three of you, shared history taking away some of the pain. But whenever it slipped outside your little trio, it quickly became a sore topic.
Mouth opening and closing, trying to find the words to answer without having to give an explanation. Luckily, a painfully familiar voice called your name behind you, instantly sending a shiver down your spine.
All of you turned towards the voice, and you couldn’t help but let out an audible gasp at the beautiful image of your other half standing in front of you after all these years.
Your heart’s instinct steered your body, quickly stepping away from the group and latching your arms around Kento’s neck, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He didn’t hesitate to close his strong arms around your frame, fitting right into the slots they used to fill. His familiar scent filled your senses, memories flooding back in an instant.
“Huh, speak of the devil,” Gojo mumbled.
“Him? That was her boyfriend?”
Gojo quickly snapped out of it. “Let’s give them some privacy, shall we,” and started rushing away the nosy teens.
Kento’s grip loosened and you pulled away, but neither of you dared let your hands leave each other. Your own hands ended up cupping his face, forcing him to keep his eyes on you until it hit you he was actually with you again — he let his rest on your waist, feeling the restlessness in him by how strongly his palms were pressing against you.
He was here. He was actually here.
There was a deafening silence filling the space of your office. You could feel it in the tension that both of you wanted to say something, but there was an unspoken pressure of saying the right thing.
So you let your eyes roam him, taking in the differences in his appearance.
He was gorgeous, same subtle handsomeness as he had always possessed, but a new confidence displaying it. Everything about him was more defined, sharp features drawing attention to his face, his muscles filling his shirt in a way they never did before.
“So, you and Gojo seem to work well together,” he swallowed, causing embarrassment to flush your face when he pulled you from your blatant admiring.
“We’ve found a rhythm that works for us, I suppose,” you shrugged.
He shifted awkwardly in his seat, arms flexing as he crossed them in front of him. “That’s good. I’m glad.” His tone of his short statements seemed to imply otherwise.
“He’s surprisingly good at his job,” you laughed, “the kids like him.”
“Who would have thought,” there was a pull of his lips, like he tried to smile but it didn’t succeed entirely.
“Not me, that’s for sure. I don’t know, he just meets them were their at.” You really wanted to stop rambling about Gojo. It was so clearly just a desperate way for you to replace the quiet that plagued you without touching the elephant in the room. “Don’t get me wrong, they find him insufferable, but I think they secretly really like him. Much like the rest of us.”
“Sounds about right.”
You squinted at him, slowly growing somewhat antsy. “You’re not jealous of Gojo, are you?”
Of course you still saw right through him. He, who usually managed to hide his true feelings, would never be able to conceal them from you. And he was jealous, petrified that he had made the biggest mistake of his life and Gojo had ended up taking the place that was supposed to be for him only.
“Is there something to be jealous of?”
“You tell me.”
The tension was thick, nearly suffocating, years of yearning and pining fuelling the energy. The reunion only served as a dangerous spark that threatened to set the fuse ablaze at any second.
Why couldn’t he take the first step? He was the one who had showed up all of a sudden, and he still hadn’t given you any explanation. He owed you that much, right? But he kept letting his restlessness control him, one leg bouncing quietly against the floor, hearing how the cogs in his mind were turning.
“Why are you here?”
Your words were soft, but Kento knew you well enough to know the true feelings that lingered in the question.
“I’m coming back.”
“You’re coming back?” You weren’t able to withhold the bite that was slowly making its way into your tone.
“Only if you’re comfortable with it.”
“Don’t do that,” your voice threatened to crack. “I don’t want that responsibility.”
He sighed deeply, unfolding his arms to rest his elbows on his spread knees. “That wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry.”
Always so polite. Always acknowledging his faults before they had the opportunity to grow. Always so damn righteous.
“What I meant to say is it looks like you’ve really managed to establish yourself here, and I wouldn’t want to come in and cause any discomfort by intruding what is essentially your space.”
The sound that escaped you next was a mixture between a flat laugh and a scoff, not entirely appreciating the way he was behaving. “Have we been apart so long you can’t talk to me like I’m your best friend?”
That had him look up at you, meeting your eyes instantly. You were sad, visible on your entire demeanour — maybe not to the average person looking, but he saw, still able to read you like an open book.
“Hope not,” he tried to smile, lips formed into a tight line that exposed how nervous he really was. His attention shifted to look at his fists folded together, words resting on his tongue, he just wanted to be sure it came out right. “I’ve missed you.” Silence. “There hasn’t been a day where you haven’t crossed my mind.”
“Sounds familiar.” There was no hiding the flush crawling up his neck and colouring the tips of his ears red at the sound of your confession.
“It was the thought of you that finally convinced me.”
“Why now?”
“Because enough time should have passed for you to thrive without me.”
“If that’s the case, you’ll have to keep waiting.”
You had him gagged, no clue how to respond. For some reason, he had refused to believe you were still hung up on him the way he was. There weren’t any reason for you to hold onto the idea of him — yet you had, for dear life.
Abruptly you stood up from your chair, hands running through your hair in frustration, trying to make sense of his sudden visit.
You stopped in your pacing, back faced him and hands on your hips — then he saw your shoulders begin to shake, followed by stifled sobs. These were the situations he always used to know what to do, moving on autopilot to bring you the comfort you needed.
Did his hands remember how to soothe you? Did his voice still know how to form the right words to say? Did his presence still know how to envelope you until you felt happy again? There was only one way to find out.
Quickly stepping over to you, his hands hovered over your shoulders for a second in fear. He swallowed his selfishness and let them land to settle the bouncing, leaning his head forward to rest it against the back of yours, the smell of your shampoo surrounding him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and it only seemed like his apology opened the valve, no longer able to choke your sobs. Your hands left your hips to cover your face, muffling the sadness tumbling out in one stream.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he continued to mutter, head moving to press it to the side of your face. One hand traveled across your collarbone, the other around your waist to pull you as close to him as possible, determined to hold you there until he was absolutely certain you were okay.
He would stand there the whole night if he needed to.
Slowly but surely, your sobs came to a stop, your trembling eventually easing against his body. But he didn’t loosen his grip, not until he felt you shift in his arms to face him.
Cry painted cheeks, delicate red rim around your eyes, glossy irises that stared right into the deepest parts of him that only you had access to.
Everything started to fall back into place, his big hand cupping your cheek as he stroked your hair out of your face. He let his eyes dart delicately across your face, taking in every single detail.
Then he let his longing get the best of him, thumb graciously tracing your bottom lip turned swollen from when you tried to swallow your sobs.
There was slight hesitation while he leaned forward, never having experienced time moving as slow as you waited for his lips to connect with yours. First, he let his nose brush against yours, testing the waters.
Please.
You felt his breath.
Don’t make me wait any longer.
Sparks.
Soft lips pressed against yours, moving tenderly in unison that sent intense sparks through your body from head to toe. The moment easily surpassed any of the fantasies you’d had of kissing him.
Needy fingers traveled up his broad chest before hooking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer — it still didn’t feel close enough.
Kento poured everything he had always wanted to say into the kiss — and he knew you understood. If he had learned anything from everything you had been through together, it was he could always trust you were able to understand him completely, even without anything being said.
When you pulled away you found yourself breathless. Meeting his eyes again, unexpected shyness you weren’t used to experience with Kento had you hide your face in his chest.
The roles had reversed, his warm chuckle serving as a comforting blanket. Oh, how you had missed that melody.
“Took you long enough,” you mumbled, hoping the teasing would have your normal confidence return.
His finger found your chin to tilt your head up, capturing your gaze. “Yeah, I should have done it ages ago.”
The previous sadness still lingered, and it was evident you still had a lot to talk about. But right now it was nice to just wallow in his presence again. It was way overdue, feeling like it should have been like this since forever.
“I really am sorry.”
“I think I can find it in myself to forgive you.” Your innocent jab was received with a dashing smile, tingles spreading throughout your limbs at the sight.
“Hope so, sweetheart,” he breathed quietly before he leaned in again.
They sat staring at each other, Kento with a raised eyebrow while a grumpy Gojo was positioned on the couch opposite him, legs and arms crossed in annoyance.
“You used to be nice.”
Kento scoffed at his colleague’s childish behaviour. “I still am, you’re just upset you’re not getting it your way.”
“But why?” Gojo cried dramatically.
“Why? What do you mean why? Because it’s not your wedding.”
“Were you always this boring?”
“Most definitely.”
“Will you guys please shut up?” You interrupted, unable to ignore them anymore. You had desperately tried to block them out as you were doing some paperwork you should have done ages ago.
“He started it!” Gojo pointed at Kento, which only had him roll his eyes.
“You know what,” you sighed as you gathered your stuff and raised from behind the desk. “It’s with a heavy heart I leave you, but I need to get this done by the end of the day.” You stopped behind Kento, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Sorry, honey,” he said genuinely as he gazed up at you lovingly.
“I am not asking for much-“ Gojo continued to argue before you interrupted him.
“Will you pay for it?”
“Is that all it’ll take?” He beamed, and you nodded. “Of course! Done! How much do you need?”
“You’re too lenient when it comes to him,” Kento sighed.
“It’s not the craziest thing he could request. He’ll get his endless supply of sweets, and you won’t have to listen to his obnoxious nagging anymore.”
“I’m sitting right here.” Both you and Kento ignored him.
“I really have to get this work done though,” you sighed, hand squeezing his shoulder.
“See you at home?” His loving smile had you lean down to press your lips tenderly against his.
“See you at home.”
“I’ll have dinner ready.”
“God, I love you.”
Then he flashed you that smile — the smile which was reserved solely as a response whenever you said those three words he used to dream of hearing from you.
It was funny really, how after everything things would turn out exactly how he as always wanted them to. Despite the hopelessness he had felt and all the pain you had endured — both together and apart — would eventually lead up to the happy ending he had dreamed of since the young age of five.
He knew he would do it all over again, in every universe, if it ensured this outcome.
“I love you too.”
tags @sad-darksoul @toadtoru
an anon, i am so sorry if this ended up longer than you wanted it. idk what happened, bc it just kept on snowballing <3 however, i am very touched you wanted me to do this request. warms my heart. hope it turned out okay mwah also, if you've read my satoru childhood friends to lovers fic and see any similarities, no you don't comments and reblogs is much appreciated
©hiraethwrote 2024 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited
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