#and not what he actually is. nobody EVER writes abt his care for children. his generosity toward his friends

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Sometimes I want to read my friends' fics bc like... friends! Their fics! But then like... my brain reminds me the only fic I read is dmcl.

[myersesque]

how come nobody's mentioned that max jägerman's blazer sleeves have veins on them? is his blazer part of his skin?

ok i'm ngl i momentarily had no idea wtf u were on abt but then i did a quick google image search for reference and

no yeah those are... those are for sure veins??? i'd maybe assume they were just sort of miscellaneous spooky stains on his jacket if not for A) the very specific shape and colour of them, B) the placement (most visible in his forearms, and seemingly connecting to the veins on his hands), and C) the exact same style used for the veins on his face (and hands, as established):

so we have established that, as far as you or i are concerned, those are For Sure max's veins, that are for some reason attached to his jacket sleeves. cool. for the question of WHY i offer you two options!

first: the meta, theatrical reason of just... cool costume design? it looks good. zombie (ghost???) max's costume is just the right amount of cluttered; it looks messy and torn without being distracting or sacrificing the actual structural integrity of his costume, and it's very consistently A Lot, compared to the plain letterman jacket he had in life. you could argue that the veins on his sleeves are simply an attempt to make white sleeves more visually interesting, and connecting them to his hands/face/etc so as to not fuck up the coherency of the whole Look™️.

but this is hatchetfield, and that's boring, so here's what i propose:

the old waylon place is already pretty fucking pet sematary, right? they buried max under the floorboards and he didn't just come back from the dead, but he came back WRONG, infused with the power of the lords in black. well, as we know, magic like the kind the cult of starry children used can be... dubious at best, and the lords don't exactly treat humans as anything better than sacrifices or playthings - so who's to say that they care enough to differentiate between flesh and fabric? who's to say there's not an extra layer of body horror in max's unceremonious revival? who's to say that, when his body stitched itself back together from the nerds' dismemberment, his veins didn't get confused and slot between the threads of his jacket? i mean... it's not like we ever see him take it off.

i am now incredibly tempted to write a fic with this premise. god damn it.

[lemonsbakery]

Massive inf au appreciation post, this thing is..rllyy long..

The infected au was made on 2/2/22, today is 2/2/23. The au is officially 1 year old!! :D

The au has come a long way and I am so happy I was able to see it grow to be what it has become today, from the beginning to now. This post is basically how the au came to be, the way it affected me as a person, and more extra stuff!!

Also heads up! Nearing the end of this paragraph there is a bloody eclair edit! Beware!

HISTORY

THE AU & ME

The infected au was formed by a lot of people! Me and a bunch of my other friends (Norman, Roffy, Shun, Klee, Mags, and Trophy) were in a GC that was initially made to raid a server with this one weirdo guy but we don't talk abt him erm, anyways!! The idea to make an au came from Norman. He sent an eclair sprite edit with the text "I might make this an AU if I really wanted 😦" the sprite edit was eclair but really injured and. miserable. We decided to make a server and began brainstorming in there!

Now you might be wondering (no you arent) how did all the creators meet? Did you know each other from another server??

We all indeed meet from another server, we all actually met from a now-deleted cookie run rp server! Ironically enough Norman was the first person I rped with LFAMSSOA anwayys coughs so much erm. yeah!! I have this really vivid memory where Roffy, Norman, Klee, and LEMON (me!!) were doing a Mandela catalog cookie run rp, Roffy was Almond (he got his SHIT ROCKED BTW OH MY LORD), Norman was Madeleine and Eclair, I was my oc, CC, and Klee was her oc, Max! I think that was the moment when we all started getting comfortable with each other.

oh my god, this server has changed me so much as a person and has helped me develop into the me I am today. That place was and still is my safe place. I feel so comfortable in there and the community is so accepting and silly, we're all just like a little happy family. I remember when I was going through a really awful time in my life and I opened up abt it in the server. The community helped me get out of that god forbid situation without making me seem like a fool, they helped me realize that it's OKAY to be going through something heart-wrenching and that people care about me. I remember when I wasn't really a good roleplayer in that server. Every one of my rps would seem so rushed and panicked, but nobody ever made fun of me. They let me go at my own pace, and they made me feel like I belonged. Slowly and steadily I got better at it, I started doing paragraph rps and started researching stuff about writing and reading more, I learned how to expand on my interests and how to get better at what I love all because of that silly cookie run rp server. I wouldn't even BE here without that server, I wouldn't have gotten Tumblr, I wouldn't have even gotten that into cookie run without that server, and I wouldn't be able to make the things I make today without that server. It's so hard to explain just how much this au means to me, this place is like a second home to me. I can be myself there without anyone screaming at me, I can write in whatever way I want without someone telling me I'm writing too much or too less, I can draw anything my heart desires without someone telling me my art is awful or overboard. There's no such thing as 'cringe' or 'stupid' in the infected au, be anyone you want and this place will love you just as much as everyone else! Its literally the most accepting discord server I've ever had the pleasure of building and being apart of. The infected au caused me and so many people to become closer. Roffy is literally like a little sibling to me, Norman is literally my platonic lover, and Klee and Mags are my children apparently, I love them all with every fiber of my being.(/P) I'm so happy we all got to create so many memories in the AU and I hope we all will continue to do so for much, much longer. Today was the day my life started getting better, today is literally like a worldwide holiday to me, today is a day I hope never is forgotten by anyone in the infected au including myself. Im running out of things to write but you get the point.

Happy 1st anniversary infected au!! KILL OFF ALL YOUR CHARACTERS NOWWWWW/J /POS

PICTURES!!

Norman suggesting that we make an au out of an eclair sprite

Half infecteds become real

first few messages in the server

first picture sent to the server

first rp in the server

emo (literally) almond comes 2 life😈😈

uhh yeah thats basically it. The server has come so far and im so proud of it and all of its members. ILYSM INFECTED AU!!

[monumentalslutt]

i’m about to start crying over y ex wtf i’m too stoned for this rn .⁉️ but literally feel like he will never ever realise how much the shit he did hurt me and the fact that he always just acted like he never fucking cared. but it’s not his fault, it’s probably just an experience that was meant to happen for me i guess 😂😂 universe wanted to really make sure i end up turnin like jade or something anyways. i still care about him and i think i always will, i just wish he knew how the things made me feel too, and it hurts my feelings he didn’t care enough to even try fix things he was just like ok well i never have to see u again anyways stupid cunt and ur hot friends are still here so win win 😜😜😜😜 he didn’t say that but i bet u that’s like the train of thought anyways, i still care about him obviously. i think i always will like no matter what he does or how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other i’ll always care about him, but i will just like make sure he’s okay from a very far away, i check if he’s still following me on pinterest every once and a while to make sure he doesn’t fully not give a fuck abt me because then i will be sad because i still care about him and would like help him if he ever needed idk imagine like an emergency situation sorry i’m really stoned and am just really enjoying typing but it’s really hard to stay focused on trying to write down my thoughts and feelings and yassss i’m actually so excited for tomorrow i’ve never been to a guys house other than my ex. that also makes me mad bcs how come he gets so many bitches and i get none like where are the hoes at am i right like, i need him to give me some pointers or like tips on how to talk to new people i hate having to meet new people it’s awful and i’m just painfully awkward most the time it’s literally shameful ugh anyways yasss my first hoe but i’m very nervous because ive literally never even had a conversation with him like hes literally never even been like hey how are you ????? but it’s fine i know what he looks like and where he lives and. i know he’s not a 40 year old man ok don’t fret but i’m really scared hes gonna wanna fuck bcs i’m late for my period bcs eatin disorders am i right i habe no idea when it will come back anyways YEAH so i’m not around ovulation bcs i have kinda temporarily fucked all that up ANYWQYS yeah so bro better have lube and condoms kiddinf i am not fucking a random guy sorry and no matter who i fuck or how long i’ve known them lights off ❌❌❌❌❌❌ i’m literally a virgin but for if it happen, actually i feel weirdly insecure about being a virgin because like i don’t know i feel like a nun but also the fact i’ve never done it makes me nervous and i really don’t like the idea of having to be naked with somebody else sorry i literally cannot stand my limbs and i also feel like i would somehow have an ugly fanny so nobody is EVER seeing my fanny, never ever letting anyone eat me out sorry that actually sounds awful bcs brutha WHAT IF I SMELT VAD OR TASTED FUNNY or what if i had a hairy but crack??? or a no what if my flaps are too small or too big like no absolutely not anyways sorry idk why i just started talking ahout all of that i’m still fretting ahout what to wear i’m literally just going to his house so i feel like purple shorts would work BUT i fucking hate my legs and what if he is like jump scared by how i look irl and what if he didn’t realise i had such funny looking body oh my lord 🙈🙈🙈🙉🙈🙈 what the freak bro anywys i’m getting doordash hungry jacks is supposed to be here and i’m trying to eat a bit this evening because i’m fuckin constipated and i really cant be constipated tomorrow afternoon bcs ?!!!! no absolutely not now i’m really scared that i have head lice bcs today i nit treated my friends hair bcs she got nits from a 2 year old literally stay away from all children’s heads and also i literally am at a daycare two days a week and i swear to god i can feel shit crawling omg wtf is happening ok no nevermind i do not have head lice i was geekin anyways new chains same shackles is so good mwah

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

first of all, please be warned that I am NOT normal. I'm an archeology major/medieval studies minor who sees all of spn through the lens of folklore, writes long meta abt it, and has constructed a 3+ yr postcanon timeline using the other shows the actors appeared in, as well as a massive crapton of folklore. I am FULLY convinced that both Sam AND Dean are actually monsters.

(Also on that note, anything seemingly rude/derogatory/villainizing I say about Sam, please know that I 1) mean it with the UTMOST love, respect and protectiveness, and 2) think more or less the exact same thing about Dean. the only thing worse than acting like Sam isn't a Grade-A Freak is acting like DEAN is somehow normal. Absolute animals the both of them.)

anyway, yeah seriously! like whenever I see someone (90% of the time this is a Heller, but there's a couple ppl who rly hate Cas) saying this shit, I just want to tell them to imagine themselves IN SPN for a second, with whatever level of god-author powers they'd prefer, telling Dean that "for the sake of the story" or "for Dean's own well- being" (I hear that specific form of BS in Sam hateposts all the time) , he has to choose between Sam or Cas.

like. bruh if you told ANY of them that, they would literally just kill you. either you fail immediately and humiliatingly at this and end up as a monster-of-the-week, or you actually get somewhere and are the new BBEG.

I'm not threatening these ppl to be perfectly clear, just, like. I don't think they realize what role they're playing in the story here. yknow?

also absolutely LMAO at the Sam Hate thats like

"ugh, Sam, he doesn't even do anything. he's big and awkward and always looks like he doesn't belong in whatever scene he's in. his face is shaped weird and he always looks like he's constantly tense or in pain and he never even talks anymore, at least in earlier seasons he talked. his vibes are so bad why does he have to be here"

like wow, I wonder if that's from being fed demon blood as a baby, or maybe the blood of Cain, or maybe the THOUSANDS OF YEARS IN THE CAGE BEING TORTURED TO INSANITY, maybe its the living with Lucifer and Michael far longer than he ever lived w humanity, maybe its having his soul taken out, put back in, flayed to bits, walled back off, being burnt alive body & soul from the inside etc etc. Maybe its ending up stuck forever in the life he tried so hard to escape, because it turned out that "not hunting" was never an option, something he learned from watching his first-ever true love burn on the ceiling of his college dorm. Maybe is spending his whole life being told he's fundamentally unclean, unnatural and evil.

...sure would be crazy if the majority of his character/plot arcs were spent addressing the fact that Sam is aware of ALL of these things that the fandom points out as being "wrong" abt him, and how he feels abt/struggles w this stuff.

okay NEXT unpopular opinion, I DON'T see Sam and Dean's relationship as primarily being "brothers". nobody else raised Sam except Dean, and that's that. Sam is Dean's eldest kid, because despite "single parent of an infant at AGE 4" being deeply fucked up, it is canonically what happened to them. in canon.

I don't care what ppl ship, but personally? wincest grosses me out. I don't think you're evil for it, just, ew. yknow what else grosses me out? "they're literally just brothers, brothers is all they are, their relationship is unhealthy because brothers should be that close, they're not normal for brothers". that grosses me out too.

like I'm sry, throwing away your own life/even the whole world for your CHILD is in fact normal. Having trouble letting go of your CHILD as they grow up is normal. Especially if you're a single parent!

and also!!!! Dating someone who has a child already!!! is normal and ok!!! Especially for a middle-aged/older couple like Destiel, in fact, for a couple their age its ESPECIALLY normal and okay for one or both partners to have previous children who are, themselves, now adults.

sorry ik this turned into more of a Destiel Ramble than Sam, I promise I DO have actual Sam Thoughts, but this post has gotten long and I just wanted to get out of the way how much I hate ppl trying to make it "Destiel vs Sam & Dean" as though there's some issue with them all co-existing.

like.

have they watched the show.

Fuck, I was looking at Sam's tag to look for things about him and I can't do that without being bombarded by Destiel's posts, and Sam isn't even mentioned in the posts. I'm angry as fuck, you know what? This has gone on for too long. Do you want war? Then there will be war! I'm going to start tagging my shit as Destiel and other tags that you like, just to feel what me and others fans feel. Starting with this one.

[lynvaren]

I wanted to ask you about your take on 'shipping' gon and killua like romantically? your drawings are ambiguous enough (idk if thats the right word) but I was wondering whether you see them that way and what you think of the discourse of it's 'gross' or 'disgusting to ship 2 kids'. Thanks and I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way. Your art is awesome and always makes me happy (*＾v＾*)/

Hey! Ty for the question! This is like the longest running discourse huh... I'll do my best to share my perspective! Putting some of it under a cut because I accidentally wrote too much ^^;

I do see the ickiness of the phrase 'shipping two kids' when you put it like that, but I think that's because the word 'shipping' has this... umbrella connotation of like. HEAVY romance with adult and often sexual implications attached to it. Which is a huge red flag when u think abt kids that way?? and obviously you shouldn't??? and there’ll always be some nasty fans who do, but I think a lot of us see them the way we see most ships in kids' shows.

Because BECAUSE the thing is, we see romance all the time in children's media. Kids have crushes. Kids get into stupid relationships at 13 where all they do is peck each other on the lips awkwardly and pass notes to each other in class and hang out on ‘dates’ at each other's houses to watch TV. And it's totally normal! So when people say 'ew shut up gon and killua are only friends, stop thinking abt them like that, they're children' you have to wonder where that's coming from. Bc would they be saying the same thing about a boy and a girl of the same age?

To bring up specific examples: think about aang from atla (is a 12 yo with an enormous crush for a majority of the series, and gets together with her in the end) and sam and danny from danny phantom (are 14 yo), and these are shows with like. An actual on-screen KISS at the end. Nobody bats an eye at that, and not to be dramatic but the double standards are showing. It's implying that 'queerness' is what's vile and adult but like. Queer adults were once queer children, right? Gon and killua are 12 at the beginning, and nearing 14 at the end, so the discourse of 😡don’t ship 2 kids!🤬 stops being valid when you think about it in a larger perspective, in relation to similar media. Like sure, you’re welcome to see them in a strictly platonic way, but if the ONLY REASON ur not ok with a wholly harmless, innocent romance is because they’re children, and harass other fans abt it, then to me it sounds like a load of bull to cover up ur homophobia.

(also whenever I say ‘you’ i mean an abstract third person, not YOU you anon, if that’s not clear hjghfdgs 💖)

As for hxh specifically, my take is that the subtext is deliberate. Togashi would have to be pretty ignorant of his own writing if it weren’t; killua is so heavily coded as developing a very romantic, very boyfriend crush on gon and considering togashi’s history with queer rep it wouldn’t be far-fetched for anyone to call it intentional. And who are any of us to take that away from queer fans who see themselves in these characters? 

And as for me, using the word ‘ship�� makes me feel weird (which is totally a silly personal thing) but I think my feelings on killugon can be summed up by this exchange—

—which is a very underrated moment imo and explains killua’s feelings perfectly. They go from talking about dates to killua thinking to himself that he’d rather just stay with gon forever, and like... to me that’s IT. He doesn’t care about dating or romance when he can just be with gon. No dating experience with anyone else will be AS MEANINGFUL TO HIM as being with gon. Tell me if that isn’t the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard. 

So it’s my personal opinion that, all things considered, what gon and killua have transcends any platonic or romantic connotation; it’s more like a ‘you’re IT for me’ in whatever way you choose to see it. Do I think killua has a big fat crush on gon?? yeah. Do I think anyone seeing their friendship as ONLY a friendship is valid? also yeah. 

The only thing is that justifying them being strictly bff bros because 'they can’t be more bc they’re children ew’ isn’t gonna fly. Bc if you take it to mean anything more than an innocent depiction of young love then you're the one making it weird. As long as we’re not sick in imagining gross things then what’s wrong in just wanting them to hold hands? 

[kellyvela]

Has GRRM ever said in any interview or on his blog that he hates Sansa's complete storyline after 4th season? I dont really follow all of his fan/media interactions but from what I can recall he has spoken abt how LF in books wont give sansa to ramsay or how noone had issue when Jeyne was given the Ramsay storyline in books etc. Asking this question to you bcs you rightly point out how ppl misunderstood his interviews/posts ( sansans/targ stans etc) & I cant recall him ever saying he 'hates' sansa's story in the later seasons of the show ( not s5 in particular but even s6 to s8).

Capclave 2013:

A change that has repercussions for season 4 is Marillion’s tongue removal from the first season. Martin said that the change was made (from an anonymous singer being the victim of a de-tonguing) because they wanted Joffrey to maim someone the audience would recognize. He believes this is an issue because of the part the singer plays in Sansa’s storyline, how he affects her interactions with others in the book, and he doesn’t believe another character will be fulfilling that role on Game of Thrones.

—GRRM talks season 4 & beyond - Winter is Coming - October 13, 2013

2014 Fan Reports about Capclave 2013 (*):

In a convention panel this year, George said on the record that he had no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline, which now makes sense perhaps. He was not pleased when he was talking about it, so who knows what’s going to happen with her! Knowing GRRM, that could mean they’re going off the canon reservation, and/or that they’re going to be making a lot of shit up

I have notes I’ll be responding to (thanks!) but enough people commented about Sansa that I thought I’d share that tidbit, since it happened back in September iirc (was the same panel where he criticized the exclusion of Tyrell brothers)

—starkalypse - June 3, 2014

GRRM’s comments at capclave about Sansa (which I was in the third row for, for those asking about legitimacy) were among others during the panel that had a general theme of dissatisfaction with show changes. He was not in good spirits for that con and didn’t really have anything positive to say regarding the show. So take it with a grain of salt; there are deviations away from the books in the episodes he gets writers credit for, so maybe they’re doing something stupid or they really don’t have a gameplan!

—starkalypse - June 4, 2014

(*) These reports were posted in June 2014, during the airing of Game of Thrones Season 4, about Capclave 2013 that happened in October 2013.

Just after the rape episode:

How many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Three, in the novel. One, in the movie. None, in real life: she was a fictional character, she never existed. The show is the show, the books are the books; two different tellings of the same story.

There have been differences between the novels and the television show since the first episode of season one. And for just as long, I have been talking about the butterfly effect. Small changes lead to larger changes lead to huge changes. HBO is more than forty hours into the impossible and demanding task of adapting my lengthy (extremely) and complex (exceedingly) novels, with their layers of plots and subplots, their twists and contradictions and unreliable narrators, viewpoint shifts and ambiguities, and a cast of characters in the hundreds.

There has seldom been any TV series as faithful to its source material, by and large (if you doubt that, talk to the Harry Dresden fans, or readers of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the fans of the original WALKING DEAD comic books)… but the longer the show goes on, the bigger the butterflies become. And now we have reached the point where the beat of butterfly wings is stirring up storms, like the one presently engulfing my email.

Prose and television have different strengths, different weaknesses, different requirements.

David and Dan and Bryan and HBO are trying to make the best television series that they can.

And over here I am trying to write the best novels that I can.

And yes, more and more, they differ. Two roads diverging in the dark of the woods, I suppose… but all of us are still intending that at the end we will arrive at the same place.

In the meantime, we hope that the readers and viewers both enjoy the journey. Or journeys, as the case may be. Sometimes butterflies grow into dragons.

—The Show, the Books - Not A Blog - May 18, 2015

Report about the last Game of Thrones Script that GRRM wrote:

No Wedding for Sansa and Ramsay: Without question, one of the most controversial changes the show made in trying to streamline the books was by slotting Sansa into the role of Ramsay’s wife and rape victim in Season 5. In the books, Ramsay marries and assaults Sansa’s best childhood friend, Jeyne Poole—who is being forced to impersonate Arya—instead. (You can actually see Jeyne briefly sitting next to Sansa in the show’s pilot.)

At the time Martin wrote this script, though, substituting Sansa for Jeyne was not yet the plan. Martin has Roose Bolton tell his bastard son: “We have a much better match in mind for you. A match to help House Bolton hold the north. Arya Stark.” It should be noted, however, that in Martin’s script, Sansa isn’t free from menace either. At his own wedding-day breakfast, Joffrey still threatens to rape the older Stark sister—once he’s “gotten Margaery with child.”)

—Game of Thrones: The Secrets of George R.R. Martin’s Final Script - Vanity Fair - December 7, 2018

A month before the Game of Throne S8 Finale:

Sansa’s story, in particular, has really deviated from the books. Ramsay Bolton — that marriage obviously was with a different character. When they start deviating like that, did you initially have any emotional reaction, even though you worked in Hollywood for many years yourself?

GRRM: Well, yeah — of course you have an emotional reaction. I mean, would I prefer they do it exactly the way I did it? Sure. But I’ve been on the other side of it, too. I’ve adapted work by other people, and I didn’t do it exactly the way they did it, so ….

Some of the deviation, of course, is because I’ve been so slow with these books. I really should’ve finished this thing four years ago — and if I had, maybe it would be telling a different story here. It’s two variations of the same story, or a similar story, and you get that whenever anything is adapted. The analogy I’ve often used is, to ask how many children did Scarlett O’Hara have? Do you know the answer to that?

I know it’s different in the book and the movie …

GRRM: Three children in the book, one by each husband. She had one child in the movie. And in real life, of course, Scarlett O’Hara had no children, because she never existed. Margaret Mitchell made her up. The book is there. You can pick it up and read Mitchell’s version of it, or you can see the movie and see David Selznick’s version of it. I think they’re both true to the spirit of the work, and hopefully that’s also true of Game of Thrones on one hand, and A Song of Ice and Fire on the other hand.

—George R.R. Martin on the Stark Sisters and Ending ‘Game of Thrones’ - RollingStone - April 22, 2019

James Hibberd’s Book:

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: Jeyne Poole was included in the pilot—she’s shown giggling next to Sansa—but she’s never seen or referred to again. I actually wrote Jeyne into “The Pointy End,” my first script, when Arya killed the stableboy. I had some stuff with Jeyne running to Sansa being all hysterical and dialogue in the council chamber with Littlefinger saying, “Give her to me, I’ll make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” That was dropped.

DAVID BENIOFF: Sansa is a character we care about almost more than any other. We really wanted Sansa to play a major part in that season. If we were going to stay absolutely faithful to the book, it was going to be very hard to do that. There was a subplot we loved from the books, but it was a character not involved in the show.

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: I was trying to set up Jeyne for her future role as the false Arya. The real Arya has escaped and is presumed dead. But this girl has been in Littlefinger’s control for years, and he’s been training her. She knows Winterfell, has the proper northern accent, and can pose as Arya. Who the hell knows what a little girl you met two years ago looks like? When you’re a lord visiting Winterfell, are you going to pay attention to the little kids running around? So she can pull off the impersonation. Not having Jeyne, they used Sansa for that. Is that better or worse? You can make your decision there. Oddly, I never got pushback for that in the book because nobody cared about Jeyne Poole that much. They care about Sansa.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

GEORGE R. R. MARTIN: My Littlefinger would have never turned Sansa over to Ramsay. Never. He’s obsessed with her. Half the time he thinks she’s the daughter he never had—that he wishes he had, if he’d married Catelyn. And half the time he thinks she is Catelyn, and he wants her for himself. He’s not going to give her to somebody who would do bad things to her. That’s going to be very different in the books.

—Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon: Game of Thrones and the Official Untold Story of the Epic Series by James Hibberd - October 6, 2020

I hope it helps you.

Thanks for your message.

[emosyzoth]

Okie. Anyways.

This man has went to a therapist before and was officially diagnosed with depression but he just thought he was over reacting and still was and just never got anymore help than that.

I think he gets to have BPD, because, y'know, self projection, but also he completely flipped a switch once something major happened to him and made poor decisions because of this.

His favorite kind of tea is mint :-).

When growing up, his mom and dad divorced early, and he had to griw up with his mom, who was very poor. He only ever called his father, who was actually doing really well, better than them.

While taking of his mother, he tried to clean up their place, but it was always so much and he just couldn't do it. He apologized a lot when that happened.

He was very nice, but, he let people walk all over him while growing up, never standing up for himself.

He practiced acting happy for so long, he lost his sense of self and thinks he's faking a lot, which is another symptom of BPD.

He doesn't have real friends, he never was the kind of person to have anybody to be close with.

He didn't actually like his mother at all, she yelled at him too much, and he didn't like his father, but he still had to help her out anyways, no body else was going to take care of her, that was his mother anyways, the closest person he had.

On TV, he made a lot of self depreciating(?) jokes, and he noted when people actually laughed at them, no body really asked if he was okay when he said them.

He's a very observer, and he nit picks everything, like how many times he's blinked, what the people arpund him are saying, how many people he could count staring at him, etc.

He has a bit of a bad memory, leading to him forgetting what he was saying or not knowing where he put his wallet.

I think he tried to live as cheaply as he could, not feeding hinself very much and wearing dirty clothes and etc, mostly out of guilt for his mother having to take care of him, and it started way b4 his mother even got sick.

His favorite color of course was green. He usually bought himself a lot of green items, green jackets, cups, keychains, etc, whenever he needed them of course.

He tried not really letting himself have too much fun or happiness, instead more just trying to make the people around him be as happy as they needed to be, at the cost of himself of course.

He got a bit good at just acting in general, he thought he was always acting as somebody he wasn't anyways.

He usually rewatched clips of himself just to see what he could've done better.

He was actually a bit self centered always, but he tried not to be so long he just, seemed like he wasn't. But usually, when doing tasks, he tried thinking of what reward he would get for it.

He probably likes old rock and roll :-). Like Beatles and stuff.

He had a lot of alarms to help him know what to do, like when to wake up, make breakfest, when he had to drive to work, when he had to go shopping, etc.

When he was young, he'd sometimes skip school to go hang out in the woods, sometimes he'd try to make friends with the squirrels there, or just laid down and looked up at the sky. His mom usually got on him for it. He still sometimes goes to those woods to think and relax.

He was very good with children. He loved being around them, and he especially loved seeing them happy. He always tried his best around them.

I think he'd try to record things daily, as a diary sort of. He didn't like writing much (his signature sucked), so he instead just recorded his thoughts. It started nice, he started at maybe the sixth grade recording, then went down hill as he grew older. His last entries were the darkest. Nobody found his tape recorder when he died. He hid it extremely well.

His favorite game to play at recess, when he could, was tag, but he liked to read a lot instead of play.

This got more sad than I intended it to be, sorry bestie.

rly like how some of these go into detail abt his declining mental health and lack of self care and then some r just

'hehe his favorite tea is mint :))'

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

(//Britney Spears Voice// Oops I Did it Again)

I was thinking about Sero having siblings which made me think about class 1a and like,, how few of them have canon siblings? & then I was like “well hmm, who has siblings in canon and who do I feel like SHOULD have siblings?” which has NOW spiraled to “whole family dynamic” so. Here’s this (note that I’m not gonna subtract people from families who already canonically exist like however much I’d like to launch End**v*r into the sun this is less “I rewrote things how I’d like them to be” and more “how many of these kids do I think should have siblings and if their parents aren’t developed what do I think they’re like”).

Midoriya: We already know he does not have siblings and tbh even if we didn’t know I’d still think he doesn’t. He absolutely has Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling But Never Got One vibes. Also we know he has a single mom and a dad who’s not really in the picture (sidenote I love Inko Midoriya even though she failed Izuku in the past by not believing in him she loves her son so much and is trying her hardest to make up for it and do what’s best for him). I feel like her husband is like,,, not straight up the worst person ever like he’s not abusive but he’s not particularly interested in his family anymore?? Like he pays his child support but doesn’t make any effort to talk to his wife and son? He’d get divorced but he doesn’t want to go through the hassle of that legal process, especially since he’s living on a whole separate continent & would either have to go back to Japan for the legal proceedings or do it from there which would be challenging & he’s “far too busy” to do that

Bakugou: He doesn’t have siblings in canon but he does kinda give off Middle Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...that inferiority/superiority complex tho...oh either that or Oldest Child In A House With Lots Of Children vibes...but yeah consider middle child Bkg. Like...maybe 5-6 Bakugou children and he’s either smack dab in the middle or 3rd oldest depending if he has 4 or 5 siblings. Also it’s pretty obvious that Mitsuki’s not a good mom & Masaru is not rlly willing to stand up to her but unfortunately I can’t change that cause I said I wouldn’t mess with existing family members :/ maybe I shouldn’t give him more siblings after all, for their sake...

Todoroki: We know the todofam dynamic already. Tbh idk what kinda vibes he’d give me if I didn’t already know he had siblings, but since I know that he has siblings in canon it makes sense that he’s a youngest child (also sidenote I LOVE the Todorokisibs & I want them to have the time to bond and become like,,, real, close siblings. Also #givereiadivorce2k20). I hope someone yeets Endumpster out of existence one of these days...fingers crossed

Iida: It’s canon that he has a brother and it’s so sweet how much he admires and loves him Iida ily. Again it makes sense that he’s a youngest child; his need to be “worthy of” his brother’s legacy is rlly apparent, & feels like a total youngest sibling trait. Tbh if I didn’t know he had a brother I could also see him as an only child but I’m glad he has Tensei. I feel like his parents are hardworking but make sure to make time for their children as much as they can & make sure they know they’re loved. Iida kinda also considers some of the heroes/sidekicks who work at the Idaten agency family since they’ve been around so much during his childhood & he knows them pretty well. Also since Tensei is friends with Aizawa and Yamada they were definitely Tenya’s babysitters at least a couple times & around the house a lot so he considers them kinda like uncles or something

Uraraka: I know she doesn’t have siblings in canon but it feels like she should. She gives off big sister vibes. Like she’s canonically becoming a hero for her parents, and I think that would be even better if she also had siblings (all younger than her. At least 2 siblings, maybe 3). I want to see Uraraka with siblings @ Horikoshi why did you deprive us of this? Also we know her parents work hard and love her which I love I’m so glad SOMEONE in class 1a canonically has 2 good supportive parents

Tsuyu: We already know she has two siblings and yes she also has Big Sister Vibes. Don’t have much to explain abt this one, she’s just mature and dependable in like the Older Sister Specific Way (not that all older sisters are mature and dependable, just that there’s a kind of mature and dependable that directly comes from being an older sister specifically). I feel like her parents love her and her siblings & taught them to be truthful & stuff but are kinda quiet and reserved with their affection, and they’re often busy with their jobs so Tsuyu had to take on some extra responsibility caring for her siblings

Yaoyorozu: She’s an only child and yeah, it makes sense. Her parents only have one child to focus on, and as such it’s pretty obvious she feels the full pressure of their expectations, giving her pretty obvious Only Child Vibes. Although I guess you could also look at it as youngest child vibes cause I could just as easily see her having a bunch of talented successful older siblings/one Really Talented Older Sibling so she feels the pressure in following in their footsteps (think either Daphne from scooby doo mystery incorporated or Tahani Al-Jamil from the good place except she doesn’t necessarily hate/resent her siblings but is just kinda insecure about her “worth” compared to them. This is where the second guessing she suddenly displays in canon could come in - correct me if I’m wrong but she didn’t rlly show signs of second-guessing herself until the sports festival? So she’s fine in class where nobody rlly knows her but once she’s at the sports festival which is nationally televised she starts to doubt herself because her parents and sister(s) are watching & she’s like “oh no what if my sister(s) would be better than me at this” so that’s why she suddenly loses confidence). I kinda implied before but I feel like her parents are pretty strict & have high expectations for her & while they’re not needlessly cruel, they won’t tolerate less than the best

Jirou: Pretty sure she has no siblings in canon BUT she TOTALLY gives off youngest sibling vibes. I’m thinking she’d have like a cool older brother who likes to embarrass her. Her parents are pretty chill (I think that part’s kinda canon?). She has lots of older cousins who she’s pretty close with and one bad*ss lesbian aunt who’s pretty much her role model (Jirou when she was younger: I wanna be just like my aunt!!! Jirou now: ah. That’s why. I also like girls.)

Kirishima: Again I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have siblings in canon and as for whether I think he gives off sibling vibes??? I’m not entirely sure. I was gonna say I don’t think so cause like. He gives off vibes that he’d be good with siblings but doesn’t actually have them, kinda like Midoriya (but like,,,I also kinda want to give him siblings so I’m not sure). Also you know that fandom headcanon that he has 2 moms? Yeah I love that that’s canon you can’t convince me otherwise. He has 2 moms and they both love him so much & wanna support him however they can (also I kinda put a little thought into them for a fic I started writing and decided that they’re the embodiment of the tattoo parlor/flower shop au. Flower mom keeps some arrangements that are...not necessarily professional in her shop because her wife arranged them for her. Tattoo mom gives flower mom tattoos for free & they have matching tattoos that flower mom designed)

Koda: he gives me Could Have Siblings vibes as in he kinda feels like another middle child but I feel like he’s actually an only child (like he probably is in canon? I think). His parents are quiet like him but they definitely love him and he knows it. He’s really close to his grandparents (who also live with his family) as well. He also, quits predictably, has a lot of animal friends who are kind of like family to him cause they’ve been through a lot together (the Koda family household sometimes looks a little bit like a zoo because 3 people in it have talking-to-animal-related quirks)

Sato: another idk about canon but he has a little sister. I cannot tell you why I think this but he definitely has a little sister. Sato you have been diagnosed with Big Brother Energy. Also he totally has a single dad who owns a bakery which is how Sato knows how to bake so well! They’re not poor but they’re not rich and he hopes to send some of his paycheck to support his family & help his dad expand the bakery. It wasn’t the primary reason he became a hero (that was because a hero once saved his little sister from a burning building & he decided that he wanted to be able to save people like that hero had saved his sister), but he does like the benefit of the paycheck

Tokoyami: tbh my first instinct was no siblings but I think it would be really funny if he had like. 3 really preppy siblings (one older than him two younger) & he was the only goth one in his family. Or like. His dad is also goth but his mom & other siblings r super preppy. He loves them all but is very much introverted and he and his dad are closer than the rest bc they kinda bond over being less energetic. His siblings & mom don’t REALLY understand Tokoyami’s goth-ness but they love and support him anyways. His younger siblings lowkey like Dark Shadow maybe even more than him tho. Dark Shadow was pretty sad when he heard they’d be moving to the dorms because he would miss them

Kaminari: tbh I first thought he had only child vibes (he kinda does) but then I decided that he has siblings but their age gaps are pretty significant. His older sister has just gotten out of university and is working and his younger sister is like...7 maybe. His siblings both love him but the age gaps between them make it hard for them to connect sometimes. Anyways I feel like his parents are pretty neglectful & caught up in their work. They don’t really pay attention to him or his other siblings, so his older sister had to learn things like cooking and cleaning and do a lot of taking care of Kaminari and he had to help take care of his younger sister, especially after his older sister went to uni. His parents just assumed he’d come to work at their electric company but he didn’t want to do that so while he definitely wants to save people a big part of his desire to become a hero is to make real connections and prove to his parents that he’s worthy of love and attention. He took the UA exam without telling them and when they found out they would have told him no except that they figured the exposure of their son going to the top hero school in Japan would give them more business. When he moved to the dorms he missed his sisters but was glad he didn’t have to be the main caretaker of his little sister anymore (his parents hired a nanny, which they hadn’t wanted to do before because of how much money it would cost, but because they had in fact gotten more business due to Denki going to UA they had a little more money now). (The nanny and Denki’s sister became fast friends, a fact of which he was glad because it meant he wasn’t leaving her alone in an empty house. He called and visited his sister as often as possible)

Hagakure: honestly I’m pretty sure she’s an only child in canon and she DOES give off only child vibes I think...unlike Midoriya tho I don’t think she’d be particularly bothered by it? I mean I feel like she’s kinda lonely but that’s less about lack of siblings & more bc of lack of people seeing her. But her parents rlly care about her & support her however they can, & they also understand her bc they’re invisible too so they know how it feels to have to work hard to be noticed when you can’t exactly be seen

Aoyama: either both his siblings are way older than him or he’s an only child. He does not give me “is super close with his siblings” vibes. He’s definitely seen as the baby in the family and not in a “he gets away with everything & is the parents’ favorite” way in the “they think he’s kinda a failure” way. His siblings look down on him, his mom pities him because he was the only one to inherit her quirk, which hurts to use, & his dad kinda doesn’t rlly care about him one way or the other. The family gives me pretty rich vibes. Like not as rich as the Yaoyorozus/Iidas/Todorokis but still pretty rich. He went to UA mostly because he wants to get stronger both so that his mom can stop pitying/worrying about him and so that the rest of his family won’t look down on him anymore

Ojirou: l also think he has a few siblings (like...no more than 2 tho). I think younger siblings, he’s also a character with big brother energy (tho I could also see middle child Ojirou). His mom runs a dojo which is part of the reason why he’s so good at martial arts. His dad is an artist. They’re pretty close and love and respect each other. His parents were surprised but supportive when he announced he wanted to go to UA

Ashido: an only child. Her parents love her a lot & make sure she feels supported. She sometimes wishes she had siblings but not super often because she has tons of good friends (this along with Kirishima being an only child who wants siblings sometimes only makes their brotp more epic)!! Also she still keeps in close touch with her civilian friends from middle school but kinda feel disconnected from them sometimes because they’re living such different lives than her. Like they’ll talk about the latest movie and ask her if she’s seen it and she just says no and kinda laugh it off because she can’t just say “no, I wanted to but villains tried to kill my class the day we were planning to go”. She also has a hard time telling her parents that because she knows they’d be super worried about her and she really wants to be a hero!

Sero: has siblings (is somewhere in the middle) and also a huge extended family!!! Before the dorms he lived with his mom and siblings but his extended family lived really close to them and visited all the time so he’s really close to both sets of grandparents and his many aunts and uncles and little cousins (though he’s a middle child in his immediate family he’s one of the oldest cousins). Though he misses his family he sees them as often as he can, and is kinda glad for how chaotic and loud the dorms can be sometimes because it reminds him of his home

Shoji: has a little brother, a mom, and a step-dad. It took a while for him to get used to his step-dad, but it becomes clear that he really loves his family so now Shoji loves him too and is fairly close to him. Shoji’s little brother is adopted because there were complications with his mom’s pregnancy when she was having Mezo and while he turned out fine, they found out that it would be risky for his mom to attempt to get pregnant again. His little brother also has a mutation quirk (though it’s not Dupli Arms it’s Bear) and Shoji loves him more than anything else in the world. He wants to become a hero to help combat the stigma around certain mutation quirks (Gang Orca once canonically kinda addressed that that exists when he talked about how children are always afraid of him bc of how he looks) so that the world will be better for people like him and his brother. His mom and stepdad wholeheartedly support him

M*neta: Only doing this bc my brain will not shut up & is making me analyze all of 1a even the ones I don’t consider 1a. I hope he doesn’t have siblings so less people have to be exposed to his...m*neta-ness but tbh I could see him having siblings. His parents are busy and either don’t notice or don’t care what a terrible person their son is

Better purple boy who deserves a place in 1a way more than the grape Shinsou: has no siblings but gives off IMMENSE big brother vibes. Definitely grew up in the foster system (his biological mother, who was a single mother and also had a mind control quirk, became a villain because she couldn’t get hired anywhere, had no way to support her son, and was tired of being villainized by society so she was like “ok you want a villain? Bet.” When Shinsou was like 7, his mom was killed while trying to flee a crime scene. Since Shinsou had no other parent, he was then put into the foster system. Nobody adopted him because everyone thought he was going to become a villain like his mom had, and even the people who didn’t know his mom thought his quirk was “villainous”). Aizawa and Yamada are now eventually planning to adopt him. He kinda has similar vibes to Midoriya in regards to the “Only Child Who’s Kinda Lonely And Wanted A Sibling” but unlike Midoriya he would NEVER admit he wanted a sibling. “I like being alone” he insists. He is a lying liar. However as soon as he meets Eri they instantly connect & he kinda becomes like a big brother to her even tho he will deny it until Eri herself calls him her brother. When this happens he will cry even tho he will say he didn’t

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

[[MORE]]

psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)