#This is a repeat occurrence and Every Time I don't see it coming

[woso-dreamzzz]

Video IV

Lotte Wubben-Moy x Toddler!Reader

Summary: You go to soft play

When Lotte looks back on her decisions in life, it's with a lot of fondness.

She's a football player now for both club and country. She's got a good life. Good friends. Good family.

But sometimes there's a few decisions she's made that aren't looked back on with such fondness.

Like that time she thought eating herself into a food coma last Christmas was a good idea or the time that she thought going for a bike ride without her helmet at seven years old was a good idea as well.

This is one of those moments.

She isn't quite sure what possessed her to make this decision.

Babysitting you was a common occurrence, whenever Beth and Viv wanted to go out on a little date without you or they were stuck in meetings and pr commitments that you just couldn't come to.

You stay over at Lotte's house a lot actually and with the introduction of your new trike, she's started to take you out to the park to do some laps.

But you're still little and growing and Lotte's sure that repeating the same things every day is harming your development more than helping it.

Which is why Lotte decided to stimulate your brain today by taking you to the soft play place.

She'd (wrongly) assumed that she would be able to sit by herself at one of the little tables for adults while you ran around and had fun.

Instead, she's scrunched up next to you, high up off the ground as you crawl around a few of the dangling things from the ceiling.

"Auntie Lolo!" You call when she doesn't crawl through too," Auntie Lolo! Let's go!"

Lotte sighs, shuffling through on her knees as you squeeze yourself into an even smaller space that she has to get into as well.

"Are you sure you don't want to go down the slide?" Lotte asks," Or maybe we can go back into the ball pit?"

It's easy to track you in the ball pit. Much easier than traversing all of these ledges and nooks.

You huff, little cheeks puffing out. "No, auntie Lolo," You say," We climb."

"Are you sure? I'm getting old, munchkin. I don't think I have much climbing left in me."

You frown a little, brow furrowing until a little crinkle appears. You shuffle back over to Lotte on your bum, little hand reaching out and touching her skin.

"Mmm, no. Not old. Doctor says so."

"Munchkin-"

"Doctor."

"Doctor Munchkin," Lotte says," Are you sure I'm not too old for all this climbing? I feel too old for it."

You shake your head. "Not old, auntie Lolo! We climb!"

You're off again, clambering up a few more ledges, ducking under dangling things and squeezing your body into spaces that Lotte struggles to follow after you in.

"See!" You say suddenly, pressing your face against the mesh rope to peer out to the rest of the play place," Is our kingdom. I'm King-Doctor and you're Queen-Auntie Lolo."

Lotte has to smother a bit of a laugh at how proud you are.

"A King-Doctor? That sounds like a lot of work?"

You nod seriously. "Is hard," You admit," But have you, Queen-Auntie Lolo. Lessi says you're prime minister!"

Lotte laughs. "Of course she did."

"So we rule together," You continue," Now! Slide!"

You go back the way you came, wiggling through the little nooks and crannies that Lotte has to shove her way through. She's pretty sure she's got a friction burn from dragging herself across the floor.

"Oh, now she wants the slide," She mutters, nearly falling head-first down a ledge after forcefully dislodging her foot from where it got stuck.

"Queen-Auntie Lolo!" You holler and Lotte picks up her pace.

The last time she let you go down the slide by yourself, you tumbled down like a log and there was still a little mark on your head from it.

"Alright, munchkin," She says, pulling you onto her lap," Are you ready?"

"Ready Queen-Auntie!"

"Alright. Here we go!"

The bumps in the slide make your tummy go all funny in the fun way and you burst into giggles as you make it to the bottom, kicking your legs happily.

"Again!"

Lotte looks up at the play structure, already knowing that you're going to take the long way, the one that includes all the detours and getting lost at least three separate times.

She winces at the thought, already reaching out to catch you by the back of the collar.

"How about we have some nuggets first? And then we'll see how we feel after lunch?"

It's sneaky on Lotte's part, that's for sure because you love nothing more than a nap after lunch.

You think for a moment. "Okay, Queen-Auntie Lolo. We can eat first."

Lotte smiles. "Thanks, munchkin."

"But only if we can get ice cream."

"Yeah, alright. We can get ice cream too."

[deatheaterv]

lol imagine reader x Snape (reader doesn’t work at Hogwarts) who never calls him by his name, always some nickname or term of endearment and one day they see some faculty member or student when walking around together and reader calls him by his name and suddenly Snape realizes how much he secretly loves the way she calls him or maybe if it’s a student they see, she suddenly gets exposed to how frightened they are of him constantly teases him by calling him professor

Sorry if it’s weird, thanks in advance

PROFESSOR

pairing : prof!severus snape x fem!reader

genre : fluff

summary : as in the request

you never thought that strolling through hogsmeade with severus would become a regular occurrence, but here you were, fingers entwined, as the late-autumn wind softly pulled at your coat.

"darling, you're brooding again." you lightly squeezed his hand as you teased. "considering methods to frighten more pupils."

you noticed the slightest hint of enjoyment at the corner of his mouth as he puffed softly.

"perhaps my current source of annoyance is being reexamined." despite his drawl, he held onto your hand.

you leaned in and laughed. “oh, calm down, my love.”

he sighed softly, as though he was wondering if you were worth the work, yet it was obvious that he was thinking about you because of the way his thumb lightly touched the back of your hand.

you noticed some hogwarts students near the three broomsticks' entrance as you passed the former bookstore. until one of them recognized him, the street was filled with their chatter and laughter. their cheeks lost their color, and they instantly dispersed like frightened birds.

he came to a halt and gently turned to look at you. there was something gentler behind his black eyes as if he were giving your comments more thought than usual, even if they were still set on yours with the same concentrated look.

"repeat that." his voice was low but forceful as he said.

you blinked, taken aback by the abrupt gravity. "professor snape," you teasingly raised a brow.

you might swear his hold on your hand tightened just a bit, but his expression remained the same. he only looked at you for a time, as if you had uttered something meaningful but unintentional.

"interesting," he finally whispered, his tone reserved but thoughtful.

your head cocked. "what is it?"

he responded sharply, "nothing of consequence," but his gaze stayed on yours for a moment longer than was required before he started to move again.

however, you weren't one to take things lightly. "you can't just say 'interesting' and expect me to stop talking about it."

he let out a sigh, the old frustration coming back, but it lacked any true bite. "you're unbearable."

you squeezed his hand and happily murmured, "i know. but you haven't responded to me yet."

the tiniest hint of a smile flickered over his lips, but he swiftly smothered it. "maybe your insistence amuses me."

you gave a victorious smile. "you like it when i call you professor snape, admit it."

he sneered, "nonsense," even if the tips of his ears blushed a little.

you exclaimed, hardly able to contain your laughter, "do they always run like that?"

"they have every reason to," he said bluntly, as if their anxiety were a given.

"professor snape has been frightening kids since the day he was born," you said with a sly smile.

you halted your movement and pulled on his hand until he looked up at you. "it gives you a sense of strength. professor, isn't that right?" you teased by drastically lowering your voice.

"enough." he snarled, although his tone lacked the typical acerbic quality.

"all right, all right." you gave in and chuckled quietly. "you're not possible."

his black eyes softened as he cocked his head slightly. "and yet you're still there."

for a moment, your breath caught, but you quickly disguised it with another smile. "well, someone needs to watch out that you don't frighten away every student."

he let out a sound somewhere between a quiet laugh and a sigh. "so, think of yourself as indispensable."

as he resumed his stroll through hogsmeade hand in hand with you, he couldn’t help but feel a shift within himself. maybe, just maybe, hearing the words “professor snape” from you wasn’t as intolerable as he once thought. in fact, he might even admit that, in the right moment, it held a certain warmth. a warmth he’d never allowed himself to acknowledge until now.

[evillemons]

hey im just wondering how do you think the members would react to their partner faking an orgasm during the act, or in any similar situation

I haven't forgotten about your request! I've been ruminating on it for a while and have just been a little uninspired to write the past few weeks. Also as a reminder, whenever I write this type of content it's usually in line with their ideal types/fictional girlfriends I gave them (see here).

How BTS would react to their partners faking an orgasm

*mild NSFW content*

RM - There's absolutely no point in trying to fake an orgasm in front of Namjoon. He can read people like a book, especially the ones he cares deeply about. He would know exactly what works for his girlfriend and what doesn't, and have every reaction and noise of hers memorized. So when she tries to fake it, he would immediately raise an eyebrow, possibly even in annoyance or disappointment. Instead of getting offended though, he would try to understand why she did it. Besides, I don't see it being difficult for Namjoon to make a woman cum, so this would be a rare occurrence.

Jin - I see sex with Jin not necessarily resulting in an orgasm every time for his girlfriend, mostly because I picture neither of them having the highest of sex drives. I do think Jin's pride would be quite hurt by her faking her pleasure, though. He would feel self conscious that he's not doing enough for her or think that she doesn't enjoy sex with him, making him retreat and feel distant from her. In addition to a physical disconnection, there would be a shift in trust on Jin's side as well.

j-hope - Hoseok would take it quite hard, and be quite disappointed. While I don't think he would notice that his girlfriend is faking during sex, he would probably have an epiphany about it later or coax her into telling him. For Hobi, faking an orgasm is less about the physical implications and more so the lack of communication. He would be disappointed not so much in himself as he's confident in his abilities, but with her for lying to him. It would definitely turn into a trust issue, and he might resent her or abstain from sex for a little while.

Jungkook - JK is another one I imagine this scenario to be unlikely for because he's quite good at offering pleasure to his partner. Because of his persistency, however, he might insist on eating her out or making her cum when she's not feeling it, resulting in her faking an orgasm to get the act over with. I don't think he would notice or find out unless she tells him (he's not quite that observant when it comes to peoples' nuances). If he does, he would be incredibly hurt. Halfway due to feelings of inadequacy, but also because he felt betrayed by her need to lie to him. He would need some temporary distance from the relationship to recover.

SUGA - Yoongi would be the least bothered by it. Rather than being offended or hurt, it would just baffle him as to why his partner would do such a thing. I imagine Yoongi and his partner as extremely trusting and communicative, so it would be unusual for either one of them to lie about feeling satisfied when not or wanting sex when they don't. He is also quite attentive in bed, so he can probably tell when his partner isn't going to orgasm that day and would be respectful of such. Overall, it wouldn't be a big deal and they would move on quickly.

Jimin - Jimin would be quick to resort to self blame, and probably wouldn't even think that she had faked an orgasm for any other reason than the fact that he wasn't performing well enough or paying enough attention to her needs in that moment. He would be hard on himself for a while, but would also try to communicate with her about why she did it and how he can do better. It wouldn't cause much strain on the relationship as a one time thing, but repeated occurrences would heavily affect his self-esteem.

V - Tae would be extremely unhappy to find out his girl had faked an orgasm because he prides himself highly on knowing her well enough to satisfy her every time. It would be an issue of feeling both upset with himself for not pleasing her properly, and of being a little unsettled by the fact that she would she would even feel the need to do that with him. Instead of becoming distant though, he would actually start to over-perform to try and compensate.

[glendasguidance-inactive]

❄️ pick an emoji, mini reading ❄️

Nature Messages for You

What can you do to feel like you belong again, and reconnect with the world?

deck: Nature Meditations by Kenya Jackson-Saulters // passages are directly copied from the cards, I did not write these messages

₊˚ʚᗢ₊˚✧ﾟhow to pick // disclaimers ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

🌸 🦨 🦓🦈 🐅🐛 🦋🦇🪺 🦢

inhale & exhale 3x, now pick

★ personal readings ★ support me ★ other readings ★

★ check out this reading! → USA Post-Election (2024): How can you support yourself, your community, and Earth in the present moment and in the years to come? (for US citizens and non-US citizens - for every Earthling <3) ★

Pile 1 🌸

embrace the life cycle: Death is an inevitable part of the cycle of life, a natural shift from one state to another. It's a process that every living being must go through. But death does not mean the absolute end of something. As living beings, we all carry on in different ways, even when we're no longer alive. Our ideas, our love, our shared memories, and our work here on Earth live on through future generations. As you grieve for those you've lost, repeat the phrase I will look for new meaning in the cycle of life. Hold space for the beautiful life that was, and open your heart to how that life lives on in new ways.

Pile 2 🦨

embracing imperfection: Natures provides us with such beautiful examples of the brilliance inherent in imperfection. There are albino animals, flowers that grow from concrete, and an entire crooked forest in Poland. Each of these occurrences reminds us that things do not need to be perfect in order to be beautiful, valuable, or appreciated. Today, as you walk, examine how you may have judged yourself as imperfect, flawed. Take stock of the toll that negative self-talk may have had on your self-esteem and self-image. How can you reframe your relationship with yourself and embrace your imperfections?

Pile 3 🦓

mind and body: We often move through the world without giving much thought to the connection between our brain and body -- the amazing network that allows us to make complex movement without a perceived thought. Today, plan a short stroll around your backyard, through the neighborhood, or in a nearby park. As you walk, bring your attention to the weight of each step and the feeling of each toe making a connection with the ground, the stretch of the muscles in your legs, the way your arms move at your side. Be present with your physical self, uniting your mind and body.

Pile 4 🦈

trust yourself to soar: When baby birds take their first flight, they are following their natural instincts. With wobbly legs and freshly formed wings, they leap from trees, cliffs, and ledges to experience their first taste of aerial freedom -- not because they are fearless, but because their instincts tell them that they can, that it's time. When your gut tells you you're ready, don't hold back from taking a leap in your life. Let your intuition guide you and trust yourself to soar.

Pile 5 🐅

wide open spaces: Find a quiet place to sit with your eyes closed for several minutes. Visualize yourself walking through rolling green hills, stretching as far as the eye can see. See the grass and wildflowers underfoot, and feel the clean fresh breeze on your face. You are the only person as far as the eye can see. Notice what it feels like to move through the wide open landscape, with no limits, no boundaries, and no restrictions. take 5 deep breaths and then open your eyes. Return to this meditation when you feel stressed or constrained.

Pile 6 🐛

find sweet release: The natural world is constant releasing pressure. When our oceans swell, waves lap onto your shores. When clouds get full, they burst into rain and sprinkle our shoulders. When geysers overheat, they erupt into hot steam, radiating warmth. Today, as you walk, contemplate pressure and release in your own life. Is there anything building up inside of you on the verge of exploding? What conversations, activities, or decisions will help you ease the pressure in your life? How can you find moments of release?

Pile 7 🦋

wisdom in the soil: There is wisdom in the soil. Having held humanity for the entirety of our existence on Earth, the ground beneath our feet has been present for every major human victory and failure throughout history. Today, find a spot to stand outside. Imagine the soil beneath your feet as a wise elder, eager to disclose all its secrets to you. Imagine all that's transpired in this spot over thousands of years. What wisdom is the soil sharing with you?

Pile 8 🦇

support diversity: Nature is a lesson in the importance of diversity. The natural world is full of diverse ecosystems, plants, and animals -- including us humans. Every living thing has a unique and special purpose in contributing to life on Earth, and when the health and viability of an ecosystem or species is in danger, it can have a ripple effect. When one being suffers, we all suffer. Today, pause to consider your own community's diversity. What can you do to foster, protect, and support diversity in your ecosystem?

Pile 9 🪺

thriving, not surviving: A cactus can thrive in the desert. The hot, dry climate is exactly what it needs to grow and flourish. A redwood tree, however, would perish in that ecosystem. Like plants, individuals need specific things to make them comfortable and happy. Today, identify 3 things you need to prosper in your environment, and commit to putting those things in place so that you can thrive.

Pile 10 🦢

cleansing rain: Find a place to sit quietly for a few minutes. Close your eyes and imagine a rainstorm rolling in. Feel the experience of the storm surrounding you. Hear the loud claps of thunder. See the bright flashes of lightning. Listen for the pitter-patter of raindrops on the trees, the ground, the rocks. Now imagine that this rain has come to cleanse you. Think of something that's causing you stress, and allow the raindrops to wash over you, taking your troubles along with them as they run into the ground.

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Glenda ♥︎ 🦢 ★☮︎★ support people affected by Jan 2025 LA wildfires ★☮︎★ support wildlife affected by the Jan 2025 LA wildfires ★☮︎★

pngs: click here // dividers: click here // I do not consent to my writing, blog's likeness, or anything associated with my work, to be used to teach any machine learning software and artificial intelligence for any purpose.

[nightlyrequiem]

Latrodectus

IV. The Heart Behind My Ribs

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

AO3

Latrodectus Mactans, otherwise known as the Black Widow, are known for their uncouth treatment of their partners. The 'widow' part of their name stemming from the common occurrence of the female devouring her partner after mating.

Tags/Warnings: Abduction, Violence, Emotional Manipulation, harassment, A Dabble of Psychological Torture, Drugging, Breaking And Entering, Fem!reader, Drugging, Breaking And Entering, Fem!reader

================================================

There wasn't anyone after Julietta. Not for a while, not until you. Your fate was sealed the day she saw you stumbling down the street crying. Ignored by everyone but her. Like you existed at a wavelength only she could see. The first time you two spoke face to face was a hot July night at the bar you worked at. Valeria approached the counter with confidence and took up your time with unimportant small talk. The sound of your voice was melodic to someone so used to the sound of yelling and gunfire. You smiled and laughed at her jokes, just like you did with every other customer, but Valeria knew you were different with her. She could feel it in the very marrow of her bones.

There you stood, under the dim yellow lights intently wiping down a shot glass with expert fingers. Eyes lowered as you focused on the task at hand, your lashes casting thin shadows over your cheeks. Valeria approached like always. Sitting herself right at the end of the bar. The other bar tenders knew not to try to serve her. Only one person was worthy of making her a drink. You glanced up from the glass as though you could sense her presence. You finished up with the glass and bounded over to her. You leaned down and gave her a little smile.

"I'm beginning to think you're coming here for more than just the drinks." You quipped. Valeria scoffed and shook her head with amusement.

"What makes you say that?" She asked. "Why else would I come here if not for overpriced beer?"

To Valeria's satisfaction, you chuckled at her words.

"Right. So, the usual then?" You inquired, tilting your head. Valeria nodded once and you moved away to prepare her whiskey on the rocks. Her eyes wandered appraisingly over your back. Taking in the sight of your shoulders moving as you worked. You turned around and placed down her drink. 

"You know," Valeria said, stopping you from moving on. "You're better than this place." You looked caught off guard for a few seconds before righting yourself.

"Thank you, Val, that's sweet." You replied kindly. Valeria wasn't trying to be kind. You attempted to move away again but Valeria grabbed your hand. Your expression hardened slightly at the contact, but Valeria didn't let go.

"I mean it." She insisted. "Let me take you out." You had gone still and furrowed your brows.

"What?" Valeria didn't understand why you seemed to be confused. Her intentions were pretty obvious.

She rubbed her thumb on the inside of your wrist. Your skin was warm and a little damp from working.

"Let me take you out." Valeria repeated. Her dark eyes staring into yours. Noise rattled on around you but neither of you paid any attention to it. "I make enough so that you don't have to work in this shithole." Valeria was dismayed when your hand slipped from hers and your face contorted into one of discomfort.

"Valeria... I'm not really looking for anything." You had said.

"That's fine, but you can at least do yourself the favour of giving me a chance." Valeria answered, undeterred by your rejection.

"No, I don't think I'm going to do that, I'm sorry." You shook your hood. You darted off before Valeria could even respond.

'No, I don't think I'm going to do that.' Valeria stared you down as you blatantly ignored her in favour of other patrons. Your smile was strained as you greeted and mingled with them, your mind clearly on Valeria. She didn't understand why you said no. You played along with her jokes, conversations with you were easy and natural. You two got along and had good chemistry yet you said no. Valeria was annoyed, but she wasn't going to give up on you. After all, the best things in life are things you have to work for. The greater the challenge the greater the reward.

Valeria vanished from your life for a few weeks. Allowing you time to fully digest what happened. Maybe with the thought in your head you'd think critically and reconsider her offer. Once she felt you'd had enough time to yourself, she showed right back up at your work. Lingering in the shadow to watch over you. You acted normal. Charming customers out of their hard-earned money. You wouldn't have to degrade yourself to laughing at unfunny jokes if you just let Valeria take care of you. She waited until the bar became sparser in people before going up to the counter and taking her usual spot. You didn't scamper over to your biggest supporter. You pretended not to see her as you angled your back towards her.

That's fine. Valeria can could for you. You eventually ran out of cups to clean and had no choice but to serve the only customer currently at the counter. There was a resigned look in your eye as you came up to Valeria.

"Hey Valeria, the usual?" Your tone was friendly, but in that detached customer service way. She practically shivered at the lack of warmth in your voice.

"Of course, unless something better popped up on the menu during the time I was absent." She said smoothly. Acting like nothing happened. You smiled politely and turned to quickly fix up her drink. You sat it down and looked at her.

"Anything else?" Valeria shook her head and you didn't waste any time in hurrying away from her.

She observed you throughout the night. Firmly planted in her seat. You served her a few more times with the same unimpressive attitude. Soon you were saying goodbye to your coworkers and walking out from behind the bar. Valeria got up and followed you to the exit. You noticed her right as you reached your car and both of you come to a stop at the same time. You gazed upon her with a guarded expression. 

"What do you want?" You asked cautiously. Your hands burrowed themselves into your pockets.

"I want you to reconsider." Valeria answered calmly.

"Reconsider going out with you?" Your frown had deepened.

"Yes, I can promise you that your quality of life will improve with me." She slowly stepped closer to you. 

You tensed up.

"I already told you that I'm not interested." You snapped. Valeria narrowed her eyes at you, feeling frustrated at your lack of cooperation.

"You haven't even given me a chance; how could you possibly know that?" She scoffed. You just stared at her.

"I don't like women." Valeria rolled her eyes at that and took another step closer. You took one back.

"Bullshit. Your last two relationships were with women." You froze and opened your mouth only to close it again in a manner very similar to a fish.

"How do you know that?" You asked sharply. You appeared disturbed by her knowledge. 

"Doesn't matter how I know." Valeria huffed. She's annoyed and doesn't need to be dealing with this. You were being so unnecessarily difficult. "You like women, I thought you liked me."

You rubbed your face with your left hand.

"I was being friendly." You said quietly. "I wasn't trying to lead you on and I'm sorry, but I am not interested in anything with you." Those weren't the words Valeria wanted to hear. She had suddenly begun to draw closer to you in an aggressively quick manner, her arm stretched out but before she could make contact your own arm flew up, a small canister clutched in your hand. Valeria's senses were assaulted by an unbearable burning sensation, she jerked back. Hands coming up to her face. She hissed in pain as her eyes and nose burned. She could barely hear the sound of you slamming your car door and speeding off as she writhed in pain.

Valeria didn't go back to the bar since you pepper-sprayed her. She spent at least an hour in the bathroom trying to wash out her eyes. She was pissed. She wanted to hurt you, but she kept herself in check. No, she had a new plan. If you wouldn't see her willingly, she'd simply force you to. People went missing in Las Almas all the time and rarely are they ever found.

She lurked outside your home past dark. The only light being a pale glow seeping through your sheer curtains. You were inside laying on the couch watching TV. Valeria double checked that she had everything she needs. Your locks were astoundingly easy to pick. Silent and stealthy, Valeria slowly pushed open your front door and stepped inside. She crept over to the couch where you laid unaware. She unholstered her gun and pressed it to your temple, your body stiffened at the contact.

"Don't move or scream." She whispered. She took out a syringe of liquidated Rohypnol and injected it into a vein under your jaw. You flinched ever so slightly but kept still. Valeria listened to your laboured breathing as she moved around you. Sitting herself down on your coffee table and keeping her gun pointed at you.

Your eyes were wide and glossy, lips parted to show hints of your teeth.

"What was that?" You asked shakily.

"Rohypnol." Valerie said "You'll feel a little sick after you wake up but I assure you it's for the best." After seventeen minutes of patiently waiting, you slumped back against the couch. She rebolstered her gun and dragged your limp, unconscious body back to her car.

Now, a month and three weeks later your head is in her lap. Her fingers softly trail back and forth against your nape. You've come so far in such a short amount of time.

"Are you hungry?" Valeria asks.

"A little." You mumble. Sitting up and looking at her. Valeria feels a sharp pang of unhappiness. Your eyes lost their playful twinkle. She reaches out and places a gentle hand on your cheek. 

"Why don't we go upstairs and see what there is, hm?" You don't even seem all that excited over the prospect of going upstairs. Valeria frowns but takes out a key and finally releases you from your collar. She removes it and sets it aside so she can look at your bare throat.

She gets off the bed and reaches out a hand. You grab it and pull yourself to your feet. Your eyes are downcast as Valeria leads you out of the basement. Outside the sun has set. Casting darkness over the desert. You wander up to a window in the kitchen and stare. So close that your breath fogs up the glass. Valeria watches you for a few seconds before turning to the fridge. She'll make you something nutritious. Something with protein. Maybe she should also get you some vitamins. You stay rooted in place the entire time it takes Valeria to cook. The only movement you make is the light swaying from the effort it's taking you to stand.

Valeria finishes cooking and fixes up two plates. Setting them down at the table. She glances at you while she lights some candles and turns off the lights.

"It's ready." She tells you. She sits down and watches you expectantly. You continue to stare out the window before turning and joining Valeria at the table. The warm lighting from the candles washes your face in an orange glow. Smoothing out your features. The flames dance in your eyes, making the shadows beneath them look more severe.

You pick up a fork and begin eating. Wolfing down your food hungrily. Valeria has to tell you to slow down so you don't make yourself sick. She eats her own share, Enjoying the illusion of a domestic moment.

"This is really good." You murmur between bites. Valeria smiles. Pleased that you like her cooking.

"Tomorrow, we should cook together." She suggests. 

"Sure." You nod. Finishing up your food. You stand up and bring your place to the sink. Taking some time to wash your hands and face then you walk up to Valeria.

"I'm tired." You say quietly.

"You want to go to bed?" Valeria asks. You give her a nod. Valeria looks at you and has an internal debate. Wondering if she should offer to let you sleep in her bed tonight. She decides it's still too risky to do that. Valeria rises from the table and puts her plate in the sink then gently grabs your shoulder to lead you back downstairs.

You join her upstairs the next night as well. Valeria makes good on her word to let you cook with her. Although she won't let you touch any knives, and you don't do much besides hover over her shoulder while she explains her process. Valeria tries to entertain you, tries to make you laugh but the best she gets out of you is a small smile. More often than not she has to call your name repeatedly to get your attention back onto her.

"We should watch a movie while we eat." Valeria hums. Stirring some vegetables. She turns her head to look at you. "Why don't you go wait in the living room and find us something to watch?" She feels nervous over letting you roam around unsupervised. You could try to escape, or find something to use as a weapon, but she's hoping this show of trust will warm you up a bit more.

She finishes putting everything together and walks into the living room with two plates full of food. The sight of you on the couch with your legs folded up under you makes her heart thump. You're looking at the TV with parted lips as you mindlessly click through different titles. Valeria sits down next to you and sets the plates down on the coffee table.

"Can't find anything?" She asks you. You sigh and shake your head.

"No, nothing seems that interesting." You remark. Lowering your arm. You look at Valeria and hand her the remote. "You pick something."

Valeria chooses a thriller and begins to eat. Out of the corner of her eye she watches you pick at your food. Your brows are furrowed as you stare at the movie. Feminine screams pierce through the room as the heroine is attacked by an intruder during a home invasion segment. Valeria realises this is probably hitting too close to home for you, so she grabs the remote and switches it to something more lighthearted. The movie ends and you still have more than half your plate full. Valeria frowns at you.

"Aren't you hungry?" You're still weakened by her starving you. She doesn't want you to get weaker.

"Not really." You mutter. Staring at the ground. Valeria feels annoyed. She wants to force you to finish your food, but she knows your relationship is still very delicate.

"Okay, I'll save it for later." She murmurs. Placing a comforting hand on your knee. You wince but don't pull away.

You stand in the doorway to your room. Your back is turned to Valeria, but she can practically feel the misery wafting up from you.

"I don't want to sleep down here tonight." You say quietly. Valeria shakes her head in response. She'd love to have you upstairs, but she does not trust you.

"You have to, mi dulce chica." Valeria sighs. Your shoulders hunch up, but you don't protest. Like an obedient dog you go straight to your bed. Settling on the mattress and lying down. Valeria doesn't put the collar on you.

"You never told me what you do for work." You say out of the blue. You're sat at the table while Valeria prepares dinner. She pauses. She knew the question would pop up eventually. Does she want to tell you? She's already held you at gunpoint and threatened you, but would knowing what she does change your view on her? It's best to be honest when she can.

"I'm a Sicaria." Mostly honest. You don't reply and she turns her head to look at you, studying your expression.

"Like... you're a part of the cartel?" Your brows furrow. Valeria nods nonchalantly.

"Yes." She turns back to the food. You're going to accept it anyway. You don't have a choice.

You're quiet but eventually respond.

"Oh." Valeria finishes cooking and makes you as plate. She sets it down and sits beside you. After a few minutes of eating, you speak again. "How did you get involved with that?" Valeria takes a sip of water and answers.

"I met the right people while I was in the army." You lower your fork.

"You were in the army?"

"That's what I just said, yes." Valeria resumes eating. She's pleased that you're taking interest in her.

You go two more bites before asking another question.

"Are you still in the army?" You stare at her. Eyes roving over her bare arms. Assessing her.

"No, I was discharged years ago. The army was a waste of time." Valeria replies bitterly. You stop with the questions and go back to eating. Valeria sneaks glances at you, feeling her heart beat with a growing fondness.

You help Valeria with cleaning up. At the end of it you're cuddled up on the couch. Stiffly laying against her. The silence is heavy and uncomfortable, but Valeria still enjoys feeling you against her. Your body is warm and soothing. She's been letting you stay upstairs for longer and longer, it's the least she can do since you're behaving so nicely. Her eyes grow heavy as you lay together. She closes them and drifts off.

She startles awake, realising her mistake. Your familiar weight is gone. Valeria's head swivels as panic wells up in her chest. She can't see you anywhere. She scrambles to her feet and rushes to the front door. It's closed and still locked. She hurries over to the backdoor to find it the same. She calms down a bit. You have to be somewhere still in the house, but where? She checks your room to find it empty. The bathrooms are empty. The kitchen is empty. She goes into her bedroom and finds you sprawled out in her bed. Your legs sticking out from under the light pink silk sheets. Her racing heart slows at the confirmation that you're still here. Cold dread replaced by warmth. You're in her bed.

She crawls in beside you and rests her face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your comforting smell. The next day, she wakes up before you. She admires your sleeping form and presses closer to you. Staying like that for hours. Staring at you in silence until you start stirring. Your eyes open and shift towards Valeria. She's close enough to see your pupils constrict and expand, swallowing up your irises.

Valeria has always worked hard to get what she wanted. She deserved it for the shitty hand she was dealt at birth. Her perseverance paid off. She ruthlessly leads a successful cartel and gets to come home to a doting wife every day. Getting you to agree to a marriage took some work too but like with everything else, Valeria convinced you. It isn't always easy. Every once in a while, you spontaneously fall into a short depression spell. Not eating, showering, moving. She's learned to let you sleep those off. Despite those moments, you're happy. You are happy. Even if your eyes are a little duller than they used to be, you are happy.  

[eisforeidolon]

Oh god. Help this poor child.

https://www.tumblr.com/castiiell/781114768938483712/hey-i-think-a-lot-of-people-like-sam-but-its?source=share

FFS.

[insert heavy sigh here]

There is not one bit of that which isn't fucking absurd.

First, of course they don't mean actual Sam fans are fans of Sam. They mean those "fans" who totes for real love him but literally never post anything about him except bad weird fanon of him being a ship cheerleader. But they totes love him, really! Team Free Will! It's not just about the ship, see!

Then they claim Jared was "extremely rude to waiters" and just ... like tell me you don't even know what you're supposedly upset about without telling me. Like, actually, IMO, tweeting out identifiable info about service workers was a genuinely bad judgement call. Except it was a couple of times a long fucking time ago and he hasn't repeated it since because he realized that wasn't the best way to handle those situations. But if you ask dumb people on the internet, if you ever make a mistake you're tainted forever if you don't support their shitty fanon ship.

Then they bring up the bar incident, which, again, was not great, actually. Except once again, that was an isolated occurrence well over five years ago not repeated before or since. Jared publicly talked about taking accountability and mentioned changing his behavior in terms of drinking in public going forward. Like any reasonable, mindful, not 100% perfect person would.

It's not surprising given that they are clearly just parroting bullshit that they delve into straight up lies thereafter. The tattoo is a well-known Texas symbol that has been used by many different groups beyond the original context and gun nuts, so there's literally no reason to assume those are Jared's reasons for it as a Texan. So far as calling him a Republican they're literally just throwing shit at the wall given how much he's publicly supported D and liberal organizations. Even if you don't know how to look up donations, a literal five second Google pulls up him and Gen with fucking Dr. Jill Biden [X] talking up her husband as a potential president before the 2020 election.

Like, people who insist Jared is a blameless saint who has never ever done anything that wasn't the 100% most perfect decision in every situation ever make me roll my eyes but these fuckwits are something else entirely. Not only is the shit they're supposedly soooo upset about really fucking old, really fucking stupid, or both? The thing that really gets me? They clearly don't even actually genuinely care about any of it! If they did, they'd know the actual details. They clearly just desperately want to vomit out whatever their hivemind can come up with to paint Jared as A Bad Person™ in hopes it will elevate Misha and D/C. As per usual, though, the dishonestly stupid leading the gullible isn't going anywhere but in irrelevant circles.

[savagewildnerness]

The Score of S2E5/E12 Don't be afraid, just start the tape.

OK, Someone was asking about the repeated piano notes that recur in S2E5 so I thought I’d have a quick go through the episode.

Please bear in mind that I have not listened to the soundtrack for season 2.  In S2E1 I was so profoundly moved by the exquisite violin music in the first 15 minutes that I was totally overwhelmed and I had to watch the first part of the episode several times to take it all in and be composed enough to continue watching.  

The way the music impacted me there, hearing it for the first time alongside the drama, as intended, made me realise I absolutely do not want to listen to the score before watching the whole of S2 and so not feel the emotion from it as intended, alongside the drama the first time I watch the show!  

I’ll spoil myself by analysing every trailer to the millisecond and reading your analyses… but the music: NO.  I even regretted knowing the Come to Me reprise before it was in the show.  

And even the S1 score… I know it well, but I listen to it on CD in the car, so I’m not familiar with the track titles as I’ve never really looked at most of them…. So, that said - this will not be referencing tracks on the score.  Perhaps I’ll return to this in more depth - analysing the music more thoroughly and with reference to the score after the series is over, but for now…

Piano pedal:

The piano pedal and theme recurs 5 times in the episode, and looking at when, I realised it is all related to Louis uncovering his suicide attempt as it culminates (on the fourth occurrence) in the full theme…

I transcribed just the first bit of slow notes, which isn’t very interesting, but here it is:

Musically the theme is just 5, slow pedal C’s the first and last occurrence - bookmarking the delve into the uncovering of memory.

The second occurrence adds an Eb, suggesting it has somewhere it is starting to head towards… but is still just 5 slow pedal notes.

The third occurrence starts the theme for a fair amount the theme and the fourth occurrence is the full theme.

1 - 5 slow pedal C’s. This occurs in Dubai at this point:

Daniel: How often has Armand spared a life?

Louis: Armand could see I was partial to you

I.e. When Daniel first opens up the concept of exploring his and Louis’ memories of San Francisco, we first hear the pedal C’s

2 - 3 C’s, an Eb and a C - 5 slow notes.  This occurs in Dubai

Daniel: I want to know, for me, what happened between us

So, the first two occurrences are Daniel opening Louis up to the idea of exploring what really happened at the first interview in San Francisco.

3 - Slow pedal C’s and Eb’s into the start of a longer piano theme.  This occurs in San Francisco

This is when Louis is talking about Claudia leaving on the train and him staying behind with Lestat and then…

Daniel: And then what?

The theme starts as Louis talks about this first contemplation of suicide and continues through Daniel’s plea to be made a vampire

4 - Full theme in San Francisco

This begins after Louis and Armand’s argument; after:

Louis: I loved her (Claudia)

Armand: But she didn’t love you.  Not like he did.  Not like I have.

Louis: I know

I don’t know if this is on the season 2 soundtrack, but I’ll presume it is, and it’ll be this, full version that continues now in its full form, through Louis going into the sun.

5 - 5 slow pedal C’s in Dubai, as at the start

This occurs when Armand returns, at the end of the episode

Armand: I could see you were partial to him.  I preserve your happiness even when you don’t or can’t.

Louis and Armand: I had a hunch

Armand: Daniel might prove fruitful in later times

The other, creepy soundscape with distorted horror/electronic sounds (YUM!) happens for the first time after Louis’ suicide attempt when Daniel is mentioned and it scores all the horror elements with Daniel and Armand, where Armand is basically torturing Daniel, trying to find out what makes Daniel fascinating to Louis and Daniel is terrified he is going to die.

The first occurrence:

Louis: He’s alive?

Armand: The boy? The fascinating boy.  He’s fine.  He’s just fine.  Oh, he’s fine.  You’re fine.  We’re all fine.

It continues as Daniel recounts what he can remember - the corpse, etc. and develops as Armand seeks what makes Daniel fascinating

I didn’t really delve into this part, but - violins/strings and a more familiar to most episodes, though sparser, predominantly piano and violin score with lots of high and thinner notes than usual return when Lestat is mentioned between Louis and Armand and Armand talks about listening to the tapes and why Louis did the interview.  It’s very pared back, but the “The drum was my heart” theme (Ahh… is that the origin track for the theme?  Anyway - you know the theme dooo doooooo, do doooo dooooooo one!) is there with high pedal strings as Lestat speaks to Louis and it suddenly drops away as Lestat vanishes…

Armand’s “easeful death” talk with Daniel as he eases him to his death also has a more musically full (and  beautiful) theme.  It reminds me a bit of Moonlight sonata and has Armand-romance-theme vibes in its gentleness - beautiful, delicate and simple.  Then a violin comes in and it becomes increasingly poignant and emotional and eventually (I feel) it has a romance to it too, especially from when Armand says “It’s the comfort we all long for” - it sort of resolves to a musical home.

Again, there is more resolved piano & strings music at the end with Daniel and Louis.

OK, so only a little analysis.  I just watched the episode once and made a few notes.  I basically did it to work out if those repeated piano pedal notes had a specific connection.  And they do - it is specifically tied into (at least as I understood it, from my listening) the uncovering of Louis’ suicide attempt.

Let me know if you’d like me to look at the music ever in the future.  I dunno… part of me feels like killing a fairy to analyse stuff like this rather than just experience the magic, but also I find it very interesting.  This is only a first little touch on stuff.  I could analyse and actually think about it…

Gosh, I adore Daniel Hart’s score!  And I love how unusual and differently this episode was scored compared to other episodes…

Let me know if this was daft of me or if you’d ever like me to look into the music at all.

[midnight-mourning]

DCA Promptober Day 25: Balloons

Not a super painful one this time! Wahoo! Still spooky though, I feel anyway

Word count: 1034

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

It's dark in the arcade. All the machines are shut off. Save for one, that is. 

It mocks you with its bright glowing screen, taunting you and your attempts to shut everything down for the night.

Beckoning you towards it with its cheery music and gameplay noises.

You let out a groan of frustration as you trudge towards the machine. This was the fourth night this week this had happened. 

You fix the machines, you turn off the machines. This one likes to stay on, you turn it off again, you go home and question your decision to become an arcade mechanic at Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza Plex, rinse and repeat. 

Usually, this was a once every other week occurrence, the machine staying on part, that is. But for something reason, it had become a problem recently and this week said problem had come to a head. 

You come to a stop and glare down at the screen.

Balloon World. 

You'd never played, you didn't tend to play on any of the machines you worked on. Didn't have the time or the desire really. You cared for them, don't be mistaken. You made sure to treat each and every game that was in the arcade with upmost care. Always making sure to keep them clean, functioning, and well, yeah mainly those two things. 

You sigh, watching the little character fly across the scene in a game play clip, "This again, bud? Can't I have one night of peace?"

No answer, of course. 

You check the time, 11:15 PM. You clock out in fifteen minutes. 

Screw it.

"Fine. One round couldn't hurt."

You press the buttons to skip the 'insert coin' screen and start the game. 

Your little character begins to fly across the screen, objects coming up to obstruct your path. Okay, it's one of those dodging games, pretty normal. 

After a few minutes, you lose. You didn't expect to get very far anyway. Shrugging, you turn away from the screen only to hear the game restart music playing. Confused, you turn around and see that the game's started again. Weird, you didn't press anything to start another round. 

But, you see an opportunity to redeem yourself, so you take it. You get back to playing, zoning in this time now that you understand the mechanics. 

While you play, you take note of the game's imagery. It doesn't really make much sense to you. It's called balloon world, but it's a forest setting. The only balloons are the ones keeping the player character afloat, really. Sure there's the circus tent and such in the beginning, but the choice of environmental objects is odd.

The sun in the background looks familiar somehow. Kind of like the bot that runs the Daycare? You're not too sure. 

Shoot. Another loss. This time you decide you're done. You clock out in five minutes anyway. 

Turning, you're yet again surprised to hear the game booting up once more. You whip back around, and see that this time, the character's not moving forward/progressing like last time. It's stock still. Waiting.

You're much more hesitant this time. Something's going on, and you can't figure out what. Was someone pranking you? Could anyone even hack into these machines? They had to be ancient, they're parts were ancient anyway. 

Your hand hovers over the controls, you're about to grab the joystick when-

The sun is staring at you. 

Not just out into the screen. It's looking. Directly. At. You.

And it's still smiling.

You gasp. Scrambling backwards as the machine suddenly starts to spark and shake. The screen goes dark. 

In a panic, you trip backwards and land hard, your head hitting the hard concrete underneath the cheap carpet. You black out. 

There's a dull throbbing headache all across your skull when you come to, vison fuzzy. You sit up slightly, finding yourself in a mostly dark room save for a... soft, orange glow?

Groaning, you grip your head in one hand and check the time with the other. 11:57 PM. Shit. You'll be lucky to make it before the doors lock, and have to go beg the nightguard to let you out. 

Your eyes become aware of a quiet buzzing, surrounding the air all around you. And, warmth. You feel incredibly warm. Not in a bad way. Sort of like, a cozy blanket. You suddenly have an urge to find where the glow is coming from. You look up. 

Staring down at you is, something, that resembles the sun. It's face is darkened but it's backlit by bright light. Like, an eclipse. 

Your gaze travels down, to where, two sets, of arms lie, folded neatly in the creature's lap. It's sitting on it's knees in front of you. You have no idea for how long. 

The outfit it's wearing is definitely reminiscent of the Daycare Attendant's, you're certain of it. Your eyes move back up again. 

You blink, eyes wide in confusion and fear. 

"Hi?" The word slips out unintentionally. 

It seems surprised at this, eyes widening with its otherwise blank stare. Then, it smiles. A genuine, warm, smile.

The voice that comes out of it's open mouth is incomprehensible to you at first. Nothing but static and glitchy noises. It closes its mouth, brings a hand up and coughs, then tries again.

Much smoother, and deeper this time, "Hi."

You gulp. You don't know what to say, you open your mouth and your head starts to hurt.

"Are you hurt?" It asks, concern evident. 

You nod, "A little, yeah-Woah!"

You're picked up by the creature. It's a very weird sensation. Its entire body is buzzing, but that warmth surround you further and it's, sort of comforting? But this entire thing just feels, off, to you. You're uneasy, to say the least. 

After situating you in its arms, pretty much being cradled so it's still able to look down at your face, one hand goes up to the side of your head, gently petting. It actually kind of feels nice against the pain. 

"Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay."

Based on every other feeling that's welling up inside you, screaming at you to get away, you're not too sure of that.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Another treat from the drafts for you all:

Here's the link to my other promptobers, thank you for reading!!

[gnomishcunning]

Re: requests, literally any nsfw for Zevlor? I love one (1) sad old tiefling

i, too, love one sad ole' tiefling. he and karlach own my wholeass heart. some of my own headcanons/portrayals of him snuck into these, hope ya don't mind.

(please send me more asks about zevlor i love him so much)

nsfw below the cut! MDNI

in general-

zevlor's a hopeless romantic in the truest of sense. his entire life has been about devotion - he joined a group of soldiers that you can't quite, he's a paladin who lived by his oath for decades, and he followed the literal god of guardians. he believes in devotion, and that undoubtedly leaked into his concept of relationships

maybe back in his young soldiering days, zevlor had some one-night stands, maybe an occasional fling or two. but his devotion to his duty came first, and he sadly never found time to fall in love like he wanted, or start a family.

so, if you somehow managed to lure zevlor into your bed? you need to know it's because he loves you. even if he hasn't told you.

he's an old, broken paladin. he's not willing to risk heartbreak and further grind down his sense of self-worth, not with everything he's been through.

he's already lost everything that made him who he was. he can't loose you, too.

the first time around? it's all sweetness. he approaches your naked body with a sort of reverence, like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. that this is actually happening.

his attention to detail is paramount. he's trimmed all his talons to a dull sort of safety, he's got warming oil tucked into his belt-pouch, hell - he brings his own contraceptive herbs, if he's with the type partner where that's a concern. he'll eat em in front of you if that helps.

consent is the sexiest thing, and he unwraps you like a present, carefully asking with every piece of clothing removed, dipping his head to press kisses to every new bit of your beautiful self revealed to him.

His hands tremble as they travel over soft skin, careful on every curve he covers. he's constantly checking in, making sure you're okay- can he touch here? caress you?

it's admittedly a very vanilla affair, but it's probably the most tender, loving sex you'll ever have.

he's going to want to top, and gods, how can you say no to that face?

you'll come first. no matter what. he presses kisses down your body until he can attend your clit or cock with careful flicks of his tongue, he'll dribble oil onto his fingers in front of you so he can slowly work you open, taking one finger, then two-

and gods, you just know he'd have amazing hands, right? callused and dextrous after a lifetime of sword-wielding, but ever-so careful and exact.

he won't want to take you until you've made a mess of the bedsheets, and when he does? he wants to take you in missionary so he can reach you everywhere, kiss every bit, and watch - commit every bit of this to memory, just in case he never has the opportunity take you apart, ever again

he's going to do his gods-damned best to insure you both cum at the same time. he'll press careful kisses to your mouth as you fall apart, one hand cupping your chin, just so he can watch your face as you cum

he's not a very loud moaner, but he repeats your name on loop until he finishes.

he gets hella clingy afterwards, and if you two have the right kind of relationship where he feels safe enough to be vulnerable which of course you two do, he'll probably cry afterwards

thankfully, this becomes a regular occurrence for both of you

in terms of kinks? zevlor's a bit of a mixed bag. he's got a lot of things he's passingly thought would be very hot to try with a partner, but he may carry some weird guilt about it.

in kinky, bdsm terms-

i'm a firm believer he's a switch, and he's equally willing (and wanting, tbh) to take both roles on, depending on the night. while bdsm wouldn't be a lifestyle-like thing for him and the majority of y'all's sex is vanilla, there's definitely occasions where he wants to indulge. and they're usually like, specifically-planned and orchestrated occasions, set to consume a whole evening, for both the kinky sex and the aftercare.

safewords include the faerun equivalent to the stoplight system (which i'm still working on), or something simple and straightforward that both of you can easily remember.

'bridle' is what comes to mind off the bat

he's absolute delighted if his partner wanted to take care of him, and yield without a fight. if he verbally protests he should be taking care of you, just say you wanna show him how much you love him. he'll fall apart in moments.

as a submissive? his biggest kinks would be praise and body worship, especially contrasted with some light verbal degradation. he's got some guilt to work through, and it's nice to do that with someone he trusts implicitly. but focus more on rewarding good behavior, rather than punishing bad behavior. he's disappointed enough in himself.

it's worth mentioning, this man is the furthest thing from a brat (for the most part). he wants to be good and get praised, since nothing else gets his heart beating as fast - but if you're being a tease, he's not above squirming and cursing at you in infernal

bondage is a yes, but he prefers one particular facet: rope. shibari's equal parts art form and bondage, and he'd appreciate the care and attention to detail that goes into it.

ironically? you wouldn't need bondage to hold him still. he's pretty damn good at following orders, and he's definitely eager to please. i don't think he'd be into 'good boy', but call him a 'sweet lil soldier'??? hahahaha oh wow

sweet and reassuring aftercare is a necessity, there's like a 95% chance he'd cry in a weird, cathartic sorta way. he's definitely a candidate for subdrop, so watch for that.

regardless of how pretty he is when he falls apart, he'd additionally play dominant with just as much eagerness. just say you trust him implicitly, he's incredibly handsome and attractive when he's in-charge, and you want him to take control. he'll more than happily agree - he's enthusiastic about it, especially when he sees how excited you are about the concept

speaking of- titles. Master sits weird with him, but "Sir" and "Commander" are both on deck. he kinda a fun lil illicit thrill using his old title in the bedroom. it'd go a long way to restore that ole' Hellrider Commander confidence, ngl.

he's a very firm, but very kind dominant, if that makes sense? he issues his commands, wants and expects them to be followed. his rewards good behavior with praise and petting (hair, or elsewhere on your body)

he's got a very good understanding about the lengths and limits of subspace given how well he knows you, he's incredibly attentive about how far his submissive has sunk, mentally, and he'll take them as far as they're looking to go- whether that's just taking their mind off a situation with some sweet tending and an orgasm or three, or totally obliterating their brainpower in a positive way with the paladick(tm) treatment

very into getting his partner to the point all they remember his name, designation, and 'please'. equally as fond as leaving hickies/marks/love bites all across their body, especially where people might be able to see. leaving physical evidence of his effect on his lover is a big turn-on

as equally into bondage and rope as a dominant as he is a submissive. it's a hobby he occasionally indulges in, and he enjoys prettying you up in fancy hemp ropes he probably dyed himself

he's fan-fuckin-tastic with aftercare, it's kind of insane. he's soft and careful, getting you a glass of water, he draws you a warm bath and helps you clean up, and then lures you back into your body from the weird, floaty world of subspace with soft touches and sweet praises. he'll get you snacks afterwards if you need them, and do just about anything you'll ask - from reading a book out-loud so you can listen to his voice, to granting you another orgasm if needed.

for the record if y'all want deets about how he is with a brat or an obedient submissive, someone needs to bite the bullet and send the ask, otherwise this post is gonna extend into forever

[brookeluvs]

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐁𝐅 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 (fluff version ୨୧)

ʷᵉˡᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ᵖᵃᵍᵉ !! song link !! summary: boyfriend matt sturniolo headcanons ౨ no gender specified

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓

(bf matt's love language +emotional moments)

first of all matt would be the most loving caring boyfriend you'd ever have. he will always take care of you, and make sure your okay. he loves hugging you whenever he gets the chance (we luv a clingy bf.) he always has to have some kind of physical contact with you. holding your hand, hugging you, rubbing your arm, hugging your waist, kissing you; it has to be something. so with that he hates when you go into your "silent, non-touchy, moments" whenever you guys get into a argument. eventually you'll let him in, I mean you can't help but hug on him. he's the type to cry when you cry. he hates to see you in pain or un-happy, he will do literally anything to make you forget about what your crying about or whatever is hurting you. he hugs you or cuddles you really close and just repeats that you'll be okay and that he's right there with you.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐑

(bf matt's humor)

he always makes sarcastic jokes, or come back with sarcastic answers. somedays it makes you laugh and somedays it just pisses you off.

"look matt the cat is meowing !!" you say pointing at the cat. "ya think?" he says rolling his eyes smiling. "whatever matt.." you playfully hit him.

he loves to see you kinda annoyed at him sometimes. he thinks you look cute when your slightly pissed off. he literally can't help but let out a small smile when you give him a annoyed glare.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐏𝐄𝐓 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒

(bf matt's pet names for you)

babe/baby

cutie/cutie-patootie

your name

my love (whenever he's feeling romantical)

my one and only (when he's feeling lowk protective)

you can't tell this man won't call you honey every now and then.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒

(daily occurrences that would occur with bf matt)

if you matt was on tour you'd get daily check in's. he'll ask you if your okay, how's your day, if you miss him, and he'll tell you how the tour went. you could hear him smile through the phone. he'll always end his calls with, "i miss you..like alot but I'll see you soon enough !!" usually chris interrupts the call with saying something for example "you guys should get married." "this kid matt is literally obsessed with you", and nick would have to tell him to "shut-up, and to let the two love birds talk."

lots of cuddling, and movie watching.

lots and lots of kisses.

playfights.

watching cooking/baking shows together.

baking/cooking together.

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐔𝐏𝐒𝐄𝐓/𝐒𝐀𝐃

things that you do that make him upset/sad

when you talk down on yourself. he hates whenever you pick yourself apart in-front of him, he thinks your the prettiest girl in the world. "your not even fat/skinny, your the perfect size to me, and that's all the matters.. okay?" he doesn't say this in any harsh tone just natural, the only time he gets upset is when you don't listen to him on his words and still pick on yourself.

whenever you talk to any other guy. that's one of his bad traits. he is overly protective. he doesn't want you talking to any guy, sometimes he doesn't like when you talk to his own brothers. he tends to hide this trait but sometimes it comes out. he always has that one facial expression, that's obvious that he's upset. he stands his arms folded licking his upper teeth giving a death glare to however your talking to. matt is somewhat an insecure guy himself in someways and somedays he thinks anyone you talk to is more attractive, and better than him. that's why he gets so antsy.

when you get upset at him for no reason (I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory)

୨୧⊹₊ ˚ ----- 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘

things that you do that make him happy

whenever you play with his hair.

you get all clingy and cuddly

seeing you smile

seeing you talk about something your passionate about

when your confident

whenever you make jokes with him.

comment any other headcanons about bf matt !!

[piko-rose]

A Talk Between Two Hedgehogs

Psssst. Hey. You. Yeah, you. You want some Sonadow hurt/comfort? Well... HERE YA GO! TW: Mentions of death, implied self-hatred and swearing

-

"What the hell are you doing here...?"

Well, that wasn't what Shadow was expecting at all. When he approached, he was expecting perhaps a dumb quip or a joke, or whatever annoying one-liner Sonic would say.

Maybe he should've expected less when he sees the hedgehog sitting by a tree, watching the barely cloudy dusk resting behind the oceans of Seaside Hill.

The moment Sonic said those words, head turned to glare into his soul, with tired emerald eyes, Shadow wasn't sure how to respond. When was the last time Sonic was this upset?

For a second, he glanced over to a bandage around Sonic's elbow.

He might've already guessed in his head what he might be upset about...

"Uh..." Is all Shadow could mutter out. He looked anywhere but Sonic, trying to come up with a much, much better response then just a stupid, small "uh".

When he did look back, Sonic turned back to the dusk sky. "If you got nothing to say, then go away..." He huffed tiredly, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his head down, cheek smushing his frown.

Shadow sighed a quite exhausted sigh. "I just want to talk." He finally says.

The blue speed demon blinked. Confused. He refused to look back at him. "...About what exactly?" He didn't want to start anything with Shadow, he just wants it over with.

"I just... want to talk, Sonic." He repeated, with such a soft yet guilty tone in his quiet voice.

An hour before whatever's going on here, there was an Eggman fight. Which is usual, if not, normal, for most people. Especially for Sonic and his friends.

Well, Shadow wouldn't call it "normal," but it is a usual occurrence. An annoying one, even.

An Eggman battle is the last thing Shadow needed. He already had a pretty rough day, and Eggman is just not who he wanted to deal with.

And at that time, he didn't even wanted to deal with Sonic either.

Rouge and Omega were already there at the battleground, while Sonic and his friends hogged half of the Badniks already.

Last time Shadow checked, Eggman stole the Master Emerald. Again. At least it wasn't Rouge this time, otherwise Knuckles would be just as mad as him.

For a while, it was just him and Sonic having to deal with the robots, and it felt like hours when Sonic kept on rambling and chortling out jokes, like he's having the time of his life.

Truly a hellscape for Shadow.

He wouldn't really claim Sonic as his enemy per say, but he does get on his nerves more times than none. He's not exactly his friend either. Just... Some hedgehog that an awful lot of people look up to.

He knows he means well but... He never shuts up.

Once they found the Master Emerald, with the assistance of Knuckles, it was hard to get it out of the base when Sonic kept taunting the mad doctor, as he kept ordering Badniks after him.

He had no clue how Knuckles is used to this by now, but hearing his constant laughter, and his loud jesters, and those weird nicknames he gave to the doctor, Shadow wouldn't even last for another minute.

An annoying hedgehog is, in actuality, the last thing he needed.

After a long, tiring day at G.U.N., trying to fix Omega with Tails' help, and dealing with his own kind of trouble with bad guys, he needed a break. So badly.

He was just so tired of beating up robots, so tired of moving around, so tired of carrying the Master Emerald, so tired of everything be so loud, so tired of hearing dumb jokes.

He was just tired of hearing his voice every five seconds.

He was so tired of Sonic.

So, goddamn tired.

"Would you just SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?!! I cannot STAND hearing your dreaded voice at a time like THIS!! Do you even UNDERSTAND how insufferable you are right now?!"

"Whoa, whoa, hey! Take it easy! A-And don't drop the Emerald-!"

"Excuse me? Who is talking here, Knuckles??"

"Dude, will you chill? I was just-"

"How could I chill if you never shut your trap when your life is on the line! The last thing I needed is a fool's voice flooding my aching head!"

"I just-"

"I try SO hard to keep this to myself, but I swear to GAIA, I wish you NEVER had a voice!!"

... ... ...

Silence never sounded so deafening.

Looking back at that moment, it was not one of Shadow's proudest moments. He knew the second all of that was spilled out, he was going to regret it.

And the moment a laser shot into the Blue Blur's arm, knocking him back to his senses, it was more than just regret.

He had to leave the room before things escalated. Knuckles was already yelling at him, and Sonic's cries of pain didn't help either.

Everything was so loud.

And so, left he did. Leaving Knuckles with the Master Emerald, and Sonic, on the ground, surrounded by Badniks and bleeding from the elbow.

It's no wonder Sonic was upset.

No. He was angry.

He was angry at him.

Shadow knew it, but he nearly forgot until he saw the look in the hedgehog's eyes when they met again after the fight. He never planned to leave Sonic like that.

He never meant to snap like that.

Yet... Here there were, far apart from each other, one hedgehog standing a few feet away, looking down at his air shoes, unsure on what to do with this uneasy feeling inside of him, and one sitting by a tree and cliff, trying so hard to forget those things that other hedgehog said to him and just wishing he would just leave him alone.

The two fight every now and again, but their recent one was... Different.

It wasn't like the usual races, or the confrontations, or the insulting nicknames. It was unlike any fight they've had.

But why?

They fight almost all the time, why was this one the one that shook the two the most?

Perhaps...

Perhaps it was the belief on how serious Shadow was. Maybe... Sonic genuinely believed he never wanted him to talk again.

Is that why?

If so, then he felt worse.

Shadow was already looking back on the fight, but looking back now, it was dreadful. Not Sonic's voice. It was never his voice that was dreadful.

What's truly dreadful was why Sonic is upset about this in the first place. He needed to understand and make amends for now. He just wanted to talk.

He wouldn't want to leave Sonic like this. He doesn't want to. He already regret leaving him with a bruised elbow, he ain't leaving him with a bruised heart.

"...Fine." After what it felt like forever, Sonic sighed and finally spoke out one, small word that allows Shadow to stay with him.

He wouldn't show, but he was pretty relieved to hear that word come out of his mouth.

Slowly, Shadow walked towards him and carefully sat down next him him, legs crossed. He once again looked at his feet, then back at Sonic, who was still not facing him, only facing down at his own feet.

He still seemed angry, yet those eyes tell a different story. They looked sad. Hurt, even.

Shadow's eyes lowered, paining him to see the blue hedgehog like this, somehow. He was so used to seeing Sonic so bright and happy all the time, and then this happened.

A long exhale escaped from Shadow, still trying to process the right things to say. He kept looking away, then back at Sonic. The more he looked back, the more he felt terrible.

He could've sworn the fourth time he looked back he could tell that Sonic was crying earlier. His eyes appeared to be wet and his cheeks looked like they had little, faded streams going down his chin.

Shadow doesn't know what to do. But, if he doesn't know what to say either, then... He's still going to stay. He's not leaving until that annoying smile comes back.

If he truly wanted that smile to come back, then maybe it's not so annoying after all.

It wasn't even that annoying at all.

"Sonic..." He finally said his name, yet quietly, but quiet enough for Sonic to hear. He still wasn't looking at him, but he listened.

He glanced at the bandage again.

"First off... I want to know if you're feeling any better." He said.

Sonic briefly looked over to him, then at the bandage on his elbow. He sat up for a moment and placed his hand on it. He looks up to fully face Shadow and see his expression.

Calm. Focused. Soft.

It was an odd, yet soothing look for him. It confuses Sonic.

"...Why'd you care?" He says, raising an eye brow.

The Ultimate Lifeform's eyes rose hearing that. 'Why'd he care?' What kind of a question is that? Trying to push his surprise aside, he resumed trying to reason with him.

"B-Because... I wanted to make sure that you're not hurting." He mentioned.

"Pfft. Yeah, sure. Right. Okay." He faked a chuckle, not believing a word he's saying. "Shadow the Hedgehog, making sure no body's hurt. Now I've heard everything."

Okay, now he's becoming annoyed again.

"Sonic, it may not look like it, but I think about everyone else's safety. Right now, yours is my main focus."

"Then you're wasting your time." Sonic retorted calmly. "I'm fine. You can go now."

Shadow's brow furrowed. "I am not leaving you, hedgehog."

There was a moment of silence between the two. They both looked away from each other. Shadow closes his eyes, calming himself, and Sonic stopped placed both of his hands on the grass, watching the sunset again.

As Shadow opened his red and shining amber eyes, he looks back at the azure hedgehog, still in slight disbelief that Sonic would doubt his concerns for him.

It upsets him. Very.

"Why would..." He began to process the question again. Baffled, and, shockingly, hurt by it. He inhaled and prepared himself to ask. "Why would you think that I wouldn't care at all?"

Then, Sonic's ears pinned down, and he shuts his eyes tight. "Because you hate me." He choked.

"... ..."

Shadow was dumbfounded.

He blinked. Multiple times. Then, he was no longer facing him. He opened his mouth to say something. Anything.

But... Nothing.

He closed his mouth, and looked over to the sunset again, not knowing what to say anymore.

I screwed up big time, he thought.

Sonic and Shadow don't really see eye to eye most of time, but it's not like they hate each other. In fact, Sonic just thought he was neat, even if he could be a grump-butt.

Sonic too can be quite annoyed by him, but he knows him. He knows what Shadow has been through. Even if he hated him, he wanted him to be happy. To be okay.

Little did he know, Shadow felt the same way about him.

Of course, he wouldn't say anything about it, otherwise, he would never, ever hear the end of it. He can be a bother, but there was always that one thing Shadow always liked about him.

His optimism.

Even throughout his darkest moments, and the worst of messes, he somehow still has that goofy smile on his face that is bright as the sun itself.

He never gave up, no matter how slim his chances of survival were.

Almost every time, he laughed right at death, and walk off like it's no big deal.

He's probably the bravest hedgehog Shadow has ever met.

Yet, the one thing that brought him down the most right now is Shadow wishing he never spoke.

He never meant for any of this to happen. If only he would've just shut his mouth, then maybe Sonic wouldn't be like this.

Looking back at him now, seeing his pained expression on the blue hedgehog's face, it's clear that this was really the last thing he needed today.

Or any day.

Once more, he sighed and spoke up finally, "I want you to recall every moment in your life where I said such a thing."

Sonic was going to protest, but he kept himself silent, and thought about him. He zoned out, watching the sky from above. His eyes were getting softer the longer he thought about it. He still looked hurt, though.

He looked down at his shoes again. "Maybe you kept it all to yourself until recently...?"

A loud, irritated exhale escaped from Shadow's nose. "How much will it take for an idiot to understand that I care?"

Again, silence came between them. Sonic looked out to the sunset that was nearly gone by now.

"When we first met, I thought you were such a pain, and... You still are to this day." Shadow began. "But... Ever since the defeat of the Biolizard, and stopping the ARK from crashing down... You tried to save me."

Sonic payed close attention to every word he's saying, still not facing him.

"It was quite baffling in my opinion. Trying to rescue someone who tried to kill you more than twice. I find it amusing. Yet... At least I knew that someone out there care about me as well."

At that moment, Sonic was taken by slight surprise and turn to face him.

"I know there's Amy, who helped me remember Maria's promise, and Rouge and Omega always had my back," he continued. "But there's something about you that... impressed me. You helped me, after everything I've done. I'm surprised that you actually wanted to try and save me."

"...I'm surprised you thought that way." Sonic spoke. "Just because we fought, it doesn't mean that I wanna leave you for dead. I didn't want that. Besides, everyone deserves another chance. Even you."

"But..." Shadow's tone became somber. "...Why?"

The two hedgehogs stare at each other.

"Why do you care about me?"

"... ..."

Sonic's lips quiver briefly, and his brow furrowed, hoping to Light Gaia that what Shadow said was a joke. "You kidding me right now?" He said, voice nearly breaking as he tried to hold back tears.

"Dude," Sonic started, "Don't pretend that me, Tails, Rouge and the rest weren't there on the ARK, not listening to Gerald's diary, not learning about how had happened back there with you, and Maria, and everyone else up there."

He sounded so calm yet so mad. Whether he was mad at Shadow or about something else, he looked down on the ground, having no choice but to listen to what he has to say.

"And you know what? Even if I had no idea about what happened, I'd still try and save you from falling! Why? Because no body deserves to die! I mean that, Shadow! I mean no body! I wanted to save you so badly! I want you to live your life and be free! But...! ...but..."

Shadow looked back, now seeing the emerald eyes, shiny and wet.

"You wouldn't let me... You couldn't let me save you... Because you honestly thought you don't deserve to be saved..."

"I only did that because I couldn't let you fall with me."

"I DON'T CARE, MAN!" Sonic yelled. "I would've done all I can to save your life, but you wouldn't let me!"

"That's because your friends were waiting for you at the ARK, you moron!" Now it's Shadow's turn to yell at his face. "I didn't want you to kill yourself because of me!!" His voice croaked on the last word.

He was out of breath, and so was Sonic.

All they could do was stare.

They're both so guilty.

Sonic was the first to looked away again, but Shadow was the first to speak up once more. "You have friends. You have a family. If you saved me then, they would never see you again. Do you understand?"

Sonic blinked.

"Tails. Amy. Knuckles. Everyone up there. There were all waiting for you. To come home."

"...They were also waiting for you."

Despite the slow, growing anger, Shadow's eye were beginning to sting with tears. "That's not the point, faker. You are more important to them than I ever will be!"

He cupped his mouth.

Sonic's eyes grew.

He swung his head right back at Shadow.

He looked up at Sonic.

He looked terrified.

"Don't. You EVER. Say that again. Shadow." He snarled, not even caring about letting the tears fall down anymore. "If there is one thing about you that I can't stand is you believing that you deserve nothing!"

He quickly stood up on both of his feet, and shrieked, "THAT IS NOT TRUE, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!!"

Shadow nearly fell back, startled badly from the sudden scream, let alone a sudden cuss, that slipped out of Sonic out of all people. He could see the anger and heartbreak in his tired eyes.

Shadow's filled to the brim with guilt at this point.

Realizing what was spoken, Sonic took a few deep, shakey breaths, before looking back at Shadow. "I-I'm sorry... I kinda... Had a rough day as well, and... I'm not dealing with this right now." He rubbed his arm.

"Wait. Sonic." Shadow says.

"No. Save it. I'm done arguing with you, Shadow. I can't deal with this." He turned away and was about to walk off. "Goodbye."

"WAIT A MINUTE!"

He held onto Sonic's hand. Tightly.

They both stopped what they were doing, faced towards each other and stared. For a long time.

Four pairs of eyes, two emerald, and the other amber, couldn't take them off of each other. Shadow didn't even let go of his hand. They just... Stared.

Shadow stared, hoping, begging, that Sonic could stay and talk to him for a little longer.

Sonic stared, understanding that Shadow doesn't want him to leave anytime soon.

They both don't want to leave one another.

They both want to stay.

"I..." Shadow stopped himself, just realizing he was still holding Sonic's hand. He let go. "I'm sorry..." It took him all that power to say those little words. "I'll admit that what I said was... Uncalled for. I just want you to be safe... To be... happy."

"...I know." Sonic croaked quietly.

The two fell silent once again, with Shadow crossing his arms and looking away to his right, and Sonic trying to calm himself as he was beginning to hiccup some quiet cries.

He wiped his eyes and sniffled. Shadow's ear twitch and faced him again. Oh, God, he's crying.

"Hey... I- Don't cry, okay? I said I was sorry..."

"...I know..."

Shadow apologizing just made Sonic even more of a sobbing mess. He shouldn't apologize. He should never apologize for that. It's not his fault that he wasn't saved from his fall.

It wasn't his fault that he nearly died.

Why would it be?

Shadow done nothing wrong. Sonic shouldn't even be the one mad at him, it should've been Shadow.

He's the one being annoying anyway.

"S-So..." He began, wiping all the tears away. Almost. "you're not mad at me?"

"After all that, not anymore." Shadow admitted. "Though... There is one thing."

"What's that?" He sniffled, feeling his nose drip.

"Why were you so upset about me wishing you wouldn't speak?" Shadow asked. "I'm honestly surprised you took that seriously."

Sonic just stood there. Blinked, and turned to his right. "Oh." Is all he could say. He suddenly laughed out loud, which confuses Shadow.

At least hearing him laugh made him feel better.

"O-Okay, okay..." Sonic snorted, trying so badly to stop himself from laughing. "I'm sor-HAHA! I'm so sorry, dude! Let me- *SNORT* Let me explain."

"Uhhh, o-okay."

"When I was- Alright... When I was younger, WAAAAYYY before I met Tails and the rest of the gang, I couldn't speak. At all." Sonic began.

"Why?" Shadow asked.

"My vocal chords were messed up. Somehow." He continued. "I couldn't remember why, but I wasn't able to speak for a few years. And even after that time, I wouldn't want to speak because... I thought I was better off without a voice."

"...Oh." Great. Shadow feels even more guilty.

"H-Hey! Don't feel bad!" Sonic reassured. "I was young at the time, so I was also pretty dumb." He joked. "I spoke a couple of times, but that was about it. It wasn't until after I met Amy when I realize that it's okay to talk."

"I see..."

"And ever since, I just... love to talk! I just, have so much to say! About my friends, my adventures, everything! Sometimes, I forget that I talk too much." He chuckled nervously. "Once a blue moon, something would remind me about how much I talk... and how annoying I could be sometimes..."

A quiet huff, which sounded like laughter almost, exhaled from Shadow, and he smiled slightly. "I don't think it's annoying. I think your voice is alright."

Sonic's eyes lit up. "Really, now??"

"Don't make me take it back."

And just like that, Sonic cracked up once again. That same ol' laughter Shadow heard non-stop a while ago. And for the first time, as far as he's concerned, he smiled widely.

After all that mess, Sonic's laughter was music to his ears, and this was the one thing he unknowingly truly needed after a hard day.

-

Been thinking about these hedgehogs again. 😭 It's about damn time I wrote Sonadow! Holy crap I am so upset at myself! 🤣 I honestly wish I wrote this a lot better than I already did because I pulled an all-nighter and I kind of, sort of, rushed it?? Just wanna write Sonadow for once.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Writing Theory on Healthy Romance

So we're going to go also queer into this. Hang onto your hats for that. We'll also do NB and intersectional for a bit too.

CW: PG-13 warning.

History of Romance in Europe

A lot of the ideas for romance, as outlined ad nauseum by Historians is pretty much to the troubadours. This is attributed mostly to Medieval and before that, the Islamic Empire.

The Inferno, BTW, is a love poem to a married woman. This should also be well known. People, even after they were married sometimes collected suitors. But Suitors wasn't in the modern sense of I want to kiss you and have relations with you. It was more like, distant adoration. I suppose this still leaks today with the stalker.

I'm not going to do citations because I've checked and it's easy to verify these things. I've pretty much heard it since High School.

There WERE marriages done for love, and it was kind of expected, especially by the time of Regency England. But having a mistress was also a regular occurrence too.

As Lucy Worsley points out the idea of a "Soulmate" is a 20th century occupation, not one that was before then.

And then by the 1950's, the idea of the romance Novel had codified by quite a bit. The US said that the happy ending HAD to happen, and a lot of the formula for romance was born.

The meetcute, the limerence falling in love, the break up, the resolution. For the US you were required a HEA or a HFN in the 1950's too.

And apparently death upon you if you broke this formula.

(This is very loose.)

The thing was psychology came into the fore around this time. And though couple's therapy originally started as part of the eugenics movement (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12140960/), it still managed to evolve. Romance, however, did not quite update its formula.

Lundy Bancroft (Yes, I do know his weird anti-trans stance, but I kinda think this point is good.) argued that for those more socially isolated from what healthy romance looks like with abusive parents often don't have a model for it on television, and so often repeat the patterns on television.

I don't think particularly that it 100% true, but I can see how one could have unsteady love patterns if one is used to seeing abuse, and seeing romance being made out to be good and romantic when some part of the formula are problematic.

But as also pointed out, while romance is pretty varied, the stories favored seem to be more towards limerence, meet cute, floaty feelings, don't get to know the person beyond their body then oh sad, break up, and then get together.

But the cycle of limerence, you're perfect, you're not perfect, let's break up get back together is wholly unhealthy.

I get the whole argument for "But healthy romance is boring" However, I feel like that's not true after watching healthy romances come out of East Asia. I think it can be pulled off.

Top requests for Healthy romance

Your perfection lies in your imperfections

I would argue that Shakespeare had a better idea of what love is than what is in the majority of Romance, as a genre (this isn't to say Romance is ONLY allowed to do this, but like a theoretical on how to build healthy romance)

And I want to ask you, why, why doesn't Romance capture that feeling? The perfection in the imperfection.

Can we have abs that are not perfectly flat and a 6-pack but actually reflects the profession the person has and then the other character finds beauty in it?

Can we have a woman without perfectly round breasts? Perhaps they are small, one bigger than the other, one more perfect than the other.

I think why Darcy is often loved is because he sees flaws in Elizabeth Bennett very, very deeply, but despite that, he likes how she moves. She isn't perfect to him, but her imperfections are what drives him to distraction. He can't figure out why he likes her. And I'm sad that hasn't quite survived to our genre conceptions of romance either. Can we inject a bit more of, "You're not perfect but you're a good fit for me."

I'd like to see that in more romance. It doesn't have to be love-hate, and so on, it can be, I know everyone hated you for this one thing, but for me, this trait works well with who I am.

BTW, Nigehaji pulls this off very well. The main female character is very, very self-conscious of the fact that she's often seen as too bossy, too forward, and that people in the past have broken up with her over it. But for her new partner, who is kinda of adorkable, who isn't sure and is very insecure about himself, this fits well, and the drama and manga argue hard for this. It managed to pull this off with super floaty moments, too. It played it for laughs. But the most important thing is that they didn't break up. They did have to separate for business trip reasons, and to take stock on their relationship, but they didn't break up.

I have to also admit, When Harry Met Sally, which wasn't supposed to be a Rom Com at first, is a comfort watch for me, exactly because both characters are deeply flawed, but oddly a good fit for each other. There is a comfort in seeing Harry say things like I know all your flaws, but I still love you. That makes me feel like the relationship will truly last a long time. And it's not only the physicality of Sally he loves, but he actually sees her as a human being, with all of her virtues, quirks, and vices.

Harry also never intentionally lies to Sally, and at most he needs time to think and reassess everything that happened. I watch When Harry Met Sally especially when my internet goes out. Exactly because it wasn't supposed to be a romance movie with a happy ending, is exactly why I think it makes the perfect romance movie. They worked more on the relationship between them and their ups and downs than they did on physical chemistry, and thus the ending brings it together more.

Good communication

I get miscommunication errors happen in real life, but I'm really sick of the whole, I'm going to refuse to communicate trope and actually sit down, talk it out like freaking adults. Are you FIVE and need a Kindergarten teacher? (This is worse when you're literally doing it with a Kindergarten teacher. She magically forgot the rules of the classroom.)

I get it takes a while to get there, and part of the fun of romance SHOULD be, how do we figure out how to communicate better?

But I don't think it should devolve into a freaking shouting match without some levity. Can't they sit down, talk it out, write some agreements between them, and tackle the problem? (Nigehaji again).

I also think this is a good time to do retrospectives on the character. You don't have to do the secret past thing on the (usually male hero). But more maybe you can do I'm worried about this thing about me or you. And I know I'm not handling this well, and then they actually work on it together. That's like extra floaty.

I think In Time with You, does this well (Taiwan). And then You Are My Glory also does this well.

Some mirroring and some sandwich technique. All of the good psychology stuff is good.

The partners in the relationship should have a life outside of it

Men should have friends.

Women should have friends.

Both lovers in the relationship should have friends.

They all should have some sense of family. (Snark about here where people thought PoCs came from nowhere and didn't have a family.)

They should have interests outside of the romance.

You can use these interests outside of the romance to reinvigorate it.

"I didn't know you liked fishing, so do I!"

"I took it up last week. My friend introduced me to it. I didn't know you liked it."

OR

"I know you like chess, though I have no taste for it. I've tried it with you, but still don't like it. But, I'll support you in being a part of the chess club because we can do other things together."

AND the partner can be glad they learned a little more about this activity/person.

So then, you might be wondering in this person playing chess, what does that have to do with reinvigorating the relationship at all? They might be happier to know they have something to do by themselves, but that their partner put in their best effort. And likewise the reverse, when they also try something that their partner doesn't like.

What a revelation. You don't have to be all consumed by loving everything about the person. There can also be respect. You don't have to do everything together to exist.

In having friends, those friends can also push one person to learn a new thing, or to see their relationship in a new perspective through seeing their relationships. I think this would especially be true for the background of partner had an abusive family. Finding a good love dynamic to emulate would help and make the turn around a lot more believable than they magically found a person they could be in a healthy love dynamic with. (I'm sorry, but magical healing private parts have to go. I'm going to heal your asexuality, aromanticism, homosexuality, bisexuality, disability, and childhood trauma with my magical private parts. TT) Fuck me, I can see now. <-clearly sarcasm.

Nix the Break up.

Limerence -> you are perfect -> break up -> but let's get back together.... is a cycle of abuse.

Not that sorry, but it is.

Romanticizing this cycle and trying to make it better with a marriage or children does NOT make me want to cheer for the ending. It makes me think it's an unhappy ending I haven't seen yet.

By the time you're arguing for their break up, is the time I'm usually saying, stay broken. I want you to stay 1,000 kilometers from each other. Don't you dare get back together.

There's two roads you can do for this:

Replace the break up with a long separation/separation that necessary that comes from the lover's outside life.

Replace the conflict model with discovery.

Separation

Separation, BTW, doesn't mean no communication and you've made them essentially break up.

Separation can be business trip. Because they need to go to another country to set up and get immigration papers. Because they need a think about the relationship. Because they agree clearly that they need to think.

I'm looking at Ross and Rachel—not like that. Not a break. But saying, OK, I'll let you think about it. Thank you. I'll be back to you in X time. Again, good communication.

The interest is in how do they keep their feelings ALIVE during this time, not how do they let them die. How do they GROW when they are apart. What new tools and skills can they bring back to the relationship?

I saw a Taiwanese drama do this pretty well, where the hero of the drama goes off on a biking trip and writes letters to the heroine.My Dear Boy. In telling her where he was going to be, and still getting a breath of seeing the world, it makes it more believable. It's not a cause for conflict, but a resolution to be together more and how to communicate when people are apart.

I've seen people play out separation like it's a break up, but I think separation should be an opportunity to fine tune the communication aspects of the romance.

The floaty bit of this is the idea that no matter how long they are apart, they still can communicate and kindle their love, so when they FINALLY get back together over a told period of time, they will be like fire. That argues to me, they can endure the basics of romantic relationships. Sometimes people have to go off on their own. And who doesn't like a countdown clock and an assurance? Your job is to argue that these character belong together.

Replace Conflict with Discovery

Discovery can parse into other types of story drivers as well. Conflict, joy, fun, but we need to work on this together, cooperation, etc.

Or a simple, OMG, I didn't know you liked to be touched there. (Het romance authors usually go for all of the main places on the body. BUT !@#$ What happened to the rest of the body? When you do it in the same order, kinda boring...)

But also, I kinda think the fun of falling in love and staying in love over years is discovering new things about this person all of the time and because people change over time.

What is a better argument for love? I'm going to pick a fight with you every month, once a mouth, shout and demean you, and the storm off, OR I'd love to understand you more and how you work. I want to know more about you and change with you because I think you're a fantastic person who floors me.

Women, for over 100 years now have been arguing against the conflict model. Maybe we should listen to them especially since I don't think conflict and romance are compatible. Conflict, if it's there, should be a SECONDARY model and it should be about how do you work THROUGH it, not how do you create it.

CONSENT

I've posted about it, STDs, STIs, condoms and making them sexy, talk about safer sex. And how to make consent sexy.

Asking a person what they want can be extremely sexy. Low raspy tone. "Tell me where you want me to touch you. Do you like that?"

And if it's not good, and not "perfect" being instantly responsive and adjusting until it's really good.

I'm going to triple down on the mention of BDSM is absolutely done with a lot of communication and consent. Again, BDSM is done with communication and consent.

Some sessions can take years for people to plan, even months from what I've read. And this can also act as foreplay. You can allude to this and even use it for smut tension without breaking the idea that BDSM is about consent.

Drop the ownership

I had sexy times with you, so now I own you. What? Are we living in Victorian England here? I thought Victorian women struggled against this well into the Edwardian era.

Even between gay couples, it's like OK, I own you now because I had sex with you. Is love ownership? All About Love by bell hooks argues that love isn't ownership, but trust. I trust you now.

Let's try this out...

What's sexier to you?

"I had sex with you, and it was fantastic, because you TRUSTED me enough to tell me your deepest and darkest desires that you were afraid to tell anyone else."

OR

"I own you now because I made you climax.

I would argue that having undivided trust is far sexier. The vulnerability, the ability to say what one wants in the moment, the pleading, please do it, the will want won't list suddenly enacted, the sheer intimacy of holding something like a person's trust should be the main goal. Not I own you, so I control your movements, and OMG, your privates are now mine forever. Like that's not the whole of a person. Are you trying to find a slave here?

(OK, this isn't a knock against BDSM, cool your jets if you're thinking this.)

I won you, so I can tell you what to wear, who to cavort with, what to do, etc. Outside of BDSM, I don't think that's very sexy.

More body types?

He was 7 feet tall and she was 4 ft. lol Really?

Or she was fat, and he was like a washboard who has a sticky bit. Can he be fat? Never. But you see, it's fat positivity. Absolutely. Because see, she's fat. BUT the men aren't ever allowed to be, because *insert fat phobia*

He was a businessman. He was rich beyond belief. He was a wooden board with a lever and she was a sexy lamp. He was hard, cold, and never damp.

She was curvy, with ice cream float breasts. And soft and silky. And she had huge breasteses. And a plump little bottom. And always wet.

OR

He was tall muscular bear type, and the other guy was an otter. The bear, obviously was the top in the relationship. It never went the other way.

OR

She was femme, and she was also femme and had the curves to prove it?

But like, femme for butch, butch for femme and everything in between. Chapstick lesbian? What is the femme character doesn't have a Marilyn Monroe body. Just saying. Maybe they are femme because it's a personality they ascribe to.

Could we get some NBs also? Pointing that out. And no, not with the dom/sub power dynamic. (Again, not hating on BDSM, but hating the but someone has to be the 19th century male in the relationship ideology). Is a relationship of equality so terrible?

Can we get some variety up in here?

People are more than their bodies?

Yeah, I know, I'm biased as an grey aro/grey ace.

Iunno, when the reasons this person liked them was purely lust, I kinda check out, especially when you repeat character traits at me.

He was so smart. He was Scottish. He was English. He was an inventor. He was extremely rich. He was tall.

She was clever and extremely smart. (and then melted off the page once she started having sex with the hero. Because he effed her brains out of her? Literally?)

I don't particularly need that. The romance argument is why do they work well together, which means you have to let go of the greased bodies for one minute, and actually argue they belong together. Present it to the court.

Better arguments than listing character traits in romance are things like, "He was right and it irritated her. But she needed his calm demeanor in handling disasters."

It's not the time to launch the "You complete me." trope. Elew.

It's time to launch actual personality traits about why they are compatible. You can even use the trope of the best friend making observations. "You seem to work together well because..."

Give me something. I beg you, author, please give me more than lust. If I want lust, only, then I would have picked up the nearest erotica or smut.

I don't even mind if you convert the lust into romance later. But give me something, anything to work off of besides their flesh slapped together well.

BTW, also not a hate on Erotica and Smut. But I'm trying to differentiate it from Romance and what makes romance special.

Objections

But this means I can't have power dynamics?

No, it means that both characters can WORK to balance the power dynamics. There is a Chinese drama that does this.

In Master of My Own, the main male character confesses to the female character. She rejects him flat out, finding him annoying and besides he's her boss. She eventually quits, which makes him realize how critical she is to him, and that his feelings from before were controlling. She then ends up in another company, working for a different boss and rises in that company. The main male character kinda vouches for her. But she does the work herself, so by the time they do have a romance, they are EQUALS.

I know, right? He doesn't get access to her until they are equals.

I've also seen cases where the characters work towards having equal power in other ways.

Again, this isn't anti-BDSM, it's more like, maybe don't put a 30 year old guy with a 16 year old girl?

Maybe the boss likes his employee, fine, but maybe when it starts, he pushes that love interest out of reach of his power, which can start new discoveries or new conflicts?

Love and Leashes has a healthy BDSM relationship. The coworker, kinda boss asks one of his coworkers to be a dom. They work out the contract, but refuse to let it leak into their professional relationship. When it does, by accident, they work together to address it. The work power relationship has nothing to do with their BDSM play. They ACTIVELY communicate about their relationship and what they want out of it. They fumble a few times too, but they also talk and work it out.

Besides, it's a longer arc to work out the power dynamics than it is to take advantage of it.

You hate romance

Obviously not if I've listed so many books and shows. I've read a ton of romance.

Out of all of the scenes in movies and dramas, I can translate from most languages a romance confession scene. I've WATCHED that much. And you're going to tell me that I hate romance? It's the worst super power. 'cause I can't ask for a bathroom in Hindi, but I sure can tell you if the characters are confessing.

You're trying to take away Dark Romance.

Definitely not. I more want to find conventions that we could use to build Healthy romance as a part of the lexicon of romance. What can we do from psychology to show what romance, long lasting, etc looks like. Don't you envy the couple that says they've been together for an age and anticipate the other person's move?

I want to expand the vocabulary of romance and use actual relationship theory. So we get more range.

You are criticizing Romance

I'm asking for a new subgenre to be built. One that might be built on current relationship advice and lets everyone get spicy if they want it.

You don't read enough romance...

I'm fully aware there are books out there that might fit all of these things. Outlander plays around with some of the romance conventions, which gets some people to go all pearl clutchy about how it's not really romance if it doesn't follow the US conventions (because ya know, we need to follow only ONE country's conventions to recognize it's Romance— that's definitely not media imperialism?). There's also romance after marriage, and so on. Again, my aim in this post isn't to indict Romance, as a genre. But to point out that maybe we could use more science and thought about what love is in Romance and maybe find a way to make it into its own subgenre and create a market for it. I'm very aware that Romance has wide breath, but I don't think it's bad to ask for something more or different out of it. People create subgenres all of the time.

You hate limerence and want to take it away.

Again, I don't think limerence is love. One can have passion, limerence, desire, but that's not particularly love. I don't hate meet cutes in romance at all, but I also want more of the relationship part. The more argument that these people will not end up divorced or worse. Kids, children, and marriage should not be the final word on if they belong together. That doesn't seal it for me. What seals it for me, that they actually do belong together is that they can change and grow with each other over time because they work together well, communicate well, and allow the other person to discover themselves without them which makes it when they come back together, all that much sweeter. Because they trust each other. It doesn't have to be a deep dark secret. It can be as simple as I feel vulnerable being like this with you because of X thing.

And then the other person can say something like, I hear you about that, and I understand how hard it's been.

Floaty feelings all around. I read romance for the floaty feelings, but if the limerence burns out, then I'm tired and I want to move on. And by the time of the break up, I 100% do not want them together. (Daphne (Bridgerton), break up. You are a grade A bitch. I hate you. You don't deserve him. I heard she's worse in the book. *sighs* Do we need SV and to make it out like it's romantic?)

Conclusion

People often argue up and down that romance can't be interesting if it doesn't have conflict, but in real life, falling in love can be magical, and it's more magical when the person on the other side is willing to work with you, who trusts you, communicates well with you, and you both discover each other as wonderful as you are and you work together to understand each other.

I've seen glimmers of healthy romance done. I love In Time with You because it asks so many questions about what love is and isn't. It also asks questions about the abuse cycle which we sorely, sorely need discussions about.

So I think we could make new conventions, keep the super floaty feelings, and see it worked out. I mean people LOVED You are my Glory because there was no break up, and every time the characters got back together, they were stronger, bringing together more experiences. It felt organic. So by the end, after they had worked through so many little things that relationships have, like time and distance apart, insecurities on both sides, asking about roles of what is and isn't a "man's role" in the relationship, how they wanted to shape their relationship and struggling but finding ways to communicate in healthy ways, viewers of the show loved it.

First Love, a Chinese drama (2022, be careful since there are two of them) also played with this and each episode, it set up a Romance trope, then it defeated it during the course of the episode by replacing the convention with a better thought about what love and romance is. I loved it. It also dealt directly with codependent behavior and marked it as unhealthy, and pushed everyone to have more than the romance and in doing so, actually pushed the romance level up to super fluffy. It wasn't let's follow the conventions, it was directly, how do we build a romance that is our own, and only for us. And that, that is much harder, but much sweeter writing.

Ultimately, I think what Healthy Romance could do is ask what is love, what is romance and instead of coming up with the same Victorian answers, come up with something thoughtful and new that might actually reflect what it means to weather your time together.

[cairo-morningstar]

Since I can't seem to finish a draft, I'll give you snippets of what I wrote. I AM STILL GOING TO WRITE THE STORY I just need time and didn't want you guys to have nothing while I do so, so here;

Also these are the only ones that are just barely good enough for eyes to see i have a lot more that I am keeping locked-

Ahead there is a lot of cussing and this is not proof read as they are just drafts of drafts really.

First Draft:

Baldur was a God, a man, and a friend. As you look to the sky and see him in the rays of sun dancing down to kiss the earth below revealing the lush greens flowing freely in the wind, you see him as a god. When you glimps him from the top his dragon laughing during his descent, the jolly laughter making the cool air much warmer, you see him as a man. In front of you a cup of clear liquid gripped in a tight knuckled hand, a sullen expression dancing on his sneering lips, he was a friend. "What ails you oh great god of joy?" an ocean of blue fury finds your mortal eyes, waves of crashing blues threaten to sink the ship you sailed "Funny," you press your elbows on the hardened wood resting your chin on the backs of your hands "That is why you're my friend, cause I'm funny".

Nights like these were the moon in the sky, a frequent yet vital occurrence with which there was no life, no push and pull of the waters. He to you was expected enough he hadn't needed to knock anymore to enter your abode, instead he filtered through like the moonlight brightening up your darkest of days. "I got you something, Braids." you don't bother to look up from your simmering red flames "Do tell, I looove gifts" in his hands was a spoil of a battle, a hardened tooth he pulled out of a Gradungr himself "Much appreciated, I think I'll keep this right next to the skull you gave me three moon cycles ago".

A man who horded beuty often saw little of it, gold turned into copper, god turned into man. You forgot what it was like before Baldur, before the visitations full of sinful laughter "holy shit you can't say that" you wheeze between pained breaths, "Oh come on it's not like that fat fuck is here to hear that anyway" a snort followed by your own joke catches him of guard "Now who can't be sayin shit, I don't think in all the nine realms have I heard something that awful" with him the stories riddled with gods feasting on the flesh of monsters or culling the weal were gone, replaced by immortal sons of odin not be feared or worshipped but to turn into jokes that feed your belly laughter and wheeze out the air from your lungs.

Baldur was a mad man who had an excuse, you did not. Heimdall was nothing like his younger brother who dared you to climb the wall of Asgard, he was purely a God, a god that looked at you with such abhor you couldn't help but laugh "So you are Heimdall," the god rolled his eyes along with his head in disbelief, he might have thought to drop you although he did not "Come with me and hurry along now I don't have all day".

Second Draft: (Actual first draft that I wrote)

A sunny morning reared it's head from behind the rainy clouds of yesterday's midgardian day. No other human like soul breathed within miles of the woodland area surrounding a creek where you walked. Listening to the sounds of nature around, you hear the song of the birds calling to each other as they did each morning and the sounds of footsteps of animals both large and small. You didn't worry much, you learned that as long as you left them in peace they would leave you to your commute without as much as showing themselves. This was your every day, and despite the same reoccurrences you never felt bored of it, of the monotony that surrounded your everyday life, it was peacful and the periodic nightmare or attack felt like nothing more then life giving you something to keep you from being bored.

Today however, as you reach a clearing just to the left side of the creek you here something beyond the cycle you repeated every day. A dragon. One that was close by the sounds of it, so close you didn't have to wait vary long until you saw it's shadow flying towards you, it seemed to strangely be getting bigger. You realised it wasn't getting bigger, but closer, so you leap away from your spot hoping to get away from it as fast as you humanly can before it lands and decides you looked annoying or tastey enough to blast or eat. You had made it only to the treelines when a thump sounded shaking the ground you walked on slightly, it had landed sooner then you realised, perhaps this would be the last cycle of life you would be subjected to.

"Well, well, who do we have here"

The birds seemed silky smooth compared to the coarse voice coming from behind you. Turning around, you see a tall figure shirtless his skin covered with nothing but tattoos inked blue, their shape intricate in design as if a hand braided them across his skin and left it's mark with the runes. They were quite beautiful, but something about the random shapes peering from different parts of his chest seemed erratic, they must have been painful. His face is what catches your attention next, his skin was far from clear and his eyes seemed to stare with a sort of anger although the next thing that stood out was his long beard. The braiding on the hairs of his beard was fine but left much to be desired, the urge to sweep your hand through and rework the mediocre braiding done. This one fact about him ticked you off.

"Rude, at least introduce yourself first"

"The name's Baldur"

The name was familiar even if not familiar enough to have broken through your daily life and stick to your brain, it was rare to find something that stuck with you long enough to remember you forgot it. A deep inhuman huff came from where the clearning was, the dragon sounded impatient and you hated the thought of a monster that large deciding it wanted to find it's, seemingly, master and finding you. Years of surviving the cruel nature of life, eating what could be found no matter how vile only to stay hungry after still would not end with you being the hunted, not after all this time.

"Weeelll it was nice meeting you Bald..ur but I need to go home, my dog is cooking and my cow needs some watering-"

He raises a brow. You snap your fingers while pointing them at him and turn on your heel ready to go home and taste the food your fictitious dog has been preparing for you. You feel it before you hear him move, the subtle shift of the pressure around you as his body moves for you. Quickly dodging to the left with your head, you bend down and use your body and pull him forwards before throwing him off. He returned quickly this time catching you by surprise, he punched you in the chest sending you flying back breaking trees along the way before stopping at a giant boulder.

"Ow fuck- holy gods man what do they feed you?"

Baldur steps through the broken wood, his eyes still set on you. Birds and other flying creatures scurry past in your peripheral somewhere far behind you, if you were where you thought you were, you counted yourself blessed by the gods. Standing up your body wobbles do one side from the impact unhelped by the fact that pain ate away at the organ situated inside your skull, the adrenalin kept the pain at bay but it hadn't completely willed it gone leaving you with blotting vision.

"Can I say one thing before I die?"

He stops right in front of your swaying frame debating whether to just kill you outright or not.

"Your beard needs a rebraiding, whoever did it is god fucking awful"

Gobsmacked, Baldur just begun laughing his body hunching over slightly. Instinct by now would have had you gone but this odd tattooed man with the force of a god in front of you and a large dragon behind you tied your feet to the ground below you, you were hoping that by the time he stopped his laughing you would have come with something but unfortunately that didn't happen.

"I'm serious, look, I didn't want to say it because I'm nice like that but it looks like you have udders on your hair, and it's.... udderly dissatisfying to look at...... Okay I admit, that was bad even by my standards"

Everything after that was hazy, your memory marred by the pain changing around the events. But, some things were clear, you were too comfortable making jokes and comments despite Baldur being perfectly capable of murdering you, luckily for you he too was busy laughing at you to try. Somehow, the norns decided to finally hand you a bone as the stranger that sent you flying back now stood next you his posture relaxed.

"You're hilarious you know that"

"Thanks I get that a lot, the draugr really like it"

-

Sitting by the edge of the kindling flame, you warm your freezing hands to banish away the winter cold. Two nights had passed since snow began settling on the earth shooing what would have been your meal for the evenings prior, winter had came early bearing with it's gifts with all of its faults. A hushed grumble left your trembling lips, going out there in a time like this was dangerous for someone who had no weapon that could beat the frozen hel walkers, and they were plenty. Sounds outside alerted you to the presence of something shuffling near your door, whatever it had been stopped in front and stood for moments before banging on the door. You make to reach for your weapon.

"I know you're in there Braids"

Baldur sat on his favourite wooden chair right in front of the big window that accented your home, he liked to watch the different creatures scuttle about whether it be the tiny insects or the large animals that made the trees outside their home. This time he did not watch. His eyes drifted to the wooden frame before dropping to the table between him and the window, the round furniture was chipped in shapes of runes carved with a knife while you were bored, he knew every single dip in the wood by now. Eventually they landed on you

This visit was normal, ever since he first showed up and his appearances had become part of your usual, he would visit at least once every moon cycle looking for a distraction from his every day life, you never guessed you would be said boredom reliever but here you were sitting across from him. However, today his boredom was replaced with a side of him you haven't seen before, not to this extent. His body was tense, rigid to the emotion that tempered his staple mood turning his brows down and his eyes narrow.

"You look unhappy"

Finding your comment going no where you cross your arms searching for an answer in the sky blue eyes looking back at you. Baldur seemed less then willing to talk about what his issue was and you weren't going to push yourself onto him, yet still, you wanted to do something. You stand up from your spot making your way down the small space of your cabin home where you kept the water, you poured two cups to the brim. Once back, you place a cup in front of him and lean back on the table right by his side. His eyes held a certain hunger towards the settling liquid, if one were to look only at his expression they'd think he witnessed a pot of gold not a cup of water.

"I can't taste shit"

"Good, if someone told me 'I taste water' I'd be worried"

[the-one-who-lambs]

Which scene from your fics do you like the most? like the one you can most vividly imagine clearly? can you describe it?

I CANNOT JUST PICK ONE but since my mind is on narilamb right now, I think my favorite scene at the moment is from a future chapter in The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God. "Ordinary Happiness is Not Enough" will be an entirely new chapter rather than a rewritten one. I'll keep some specific details to myself for now, but...

Bit o' spoilers below.

Lambert fell first, Narinder fell harder. This chapter is going to take place after Lambert realizes they're in love but before Narinder does.

Though they have the resurrection ritual at their disposal, Lambert had pretty much already come to terms with the fact that their immortal life would be a relatively lonely one. They are a god to their followers, after all, and despite their past attempts to connect with their followers on a more interpersonal level, none of them could fully get past the reverence for their leader. (This is also why, though they accept marriage requests from followers, they've never requested to marry a follower themself-- how could a follower fully distinguish their love for the Lamb from worshipping them as a duty? There has always been an uncomfortable amount of overlap.) Now that they've started to bond with someone who is immortal and on much more equal terms with them than any follower could be, that's suddenly not true anymore. Lambert can't quite fathom the idea that they're getting close to someone who they might be able to keep. This should be a comfort to them, but it ends up becoming more of a source of stress-- even though the two are in the "friends" stage of enemies to friends to lovers here, Narinder still has too many internal dilemmas to confront before he even considered himself capable of love in that way.

So Lambert sees Narinder as their one attainable chance to forge a relationship of equals. They've only recently realized their own feelings. They begin to overthink every interaction they have with him, trying too hard to steer Narinder towards favoring them, and they're not landing.

Lambert eventually snaps due to the stress and lashes out at him-- not for being obtuse, not for being callous, just the tipping point of their own insecurities, culminating in an overreaction to something not too hugely consequential. It gets so heated that Lambert tells him they might as well have just killed him from the start instead of sparing him. They do immediately feel shitty, but in the heat of the moment they're too stubborn to apologize.

Readers of the first installation of RL+FG may remember that Narinder, as a way to avoid confronting his own emotions, goes off on solo crusades. This is the first time he does that. This will later become a repeated occurrence that is extremely distressing to Lambert, because if he dies and they don't find his body to resurrect him... Well, they don't want to consider that possibility. For now, though, Lambert's still fuming. They figure, fine, let him burn himself out and he'll come crawling back here anyway.

What happens on his crusade will not dissuade him from venturing off again, because he's an idiot who's allergic to his own feelings, but he encounters a threat he's not prepared to face. He goes full demogorgon sicko mode but ultimately overestimates his own ability to rise to meet it.

The scene that won't leave my head is the aftermath. Lambert finds him bloody, delirious, on the cusp of death. They're in hysterics. In his delirious state, begins to reveal way too much about himself. He makes an apology and asks forgiveness. They realize at the wrong moment that he thinks he's talking to someone else. They hold each other, bitter and broken and bleeding and yearning in parallel. Lambert tends to his wounds but they have to patch their own themself.

They work the situation out because they want to but mostly because they have to. Lambert stitches his face back together. They've always handled him gently in a way that, more often than not, infuriated him, but this time they treat him as if he'll crumble to dust. It's an uncomfortable process, moreso emotionally to be this close again. They have difficult conversations about trauma and healing, family and forgiveness, the vanishing line between sainthood and sin. They did this to each other. It stays silent, but if it's going to hurt anyway, they'll love each other through it. They already do. Neither wants to think about messing this up, but for a while, they did. It can only get better from here, please, please, please.

(It does. But they both need to have their eternity threatened when almost starts to seem attainable.)

[mixed-theater-faisty-tings]

Infinitely Jealous

Conrad Request

A/N:HIII!!! I KNOW I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AGES I'VE REALLY MISSED IT. WITH THE NEW SEASON OF THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY I FELT A SMALL SPARK OF INSPIRATION AND GOT THIS REQUEST FROM @shqtteredcrystql1. NOW BEAR WITH ME MY WRITING SKILLS HAVE DETERIORATED A BIT SINCE I LAST POSTED AND I'M STILL WORKING ON MY SMUT WRITING SPOILER ALERT. I AM OPEN TO FEEDBACK OR EVEN ADVICE. I AM TYRING TO WRITE MORE WHEN I CAN I JSUT NEVER WANNA GIVE HALF BAKED IDEAS. OKAY I WILL STOP BABBLING ENJOY!

P.S please don't hurt me for using Conrad and Belly's infinity for this I just love the concept. okay thank you.

Warnings: Explicit language, smut, cheesy lol, Teen Drinking, Protected sex.

word count: 3.2k roughly

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Masterlist

Requests

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Y/N POV 

The stench of alcohol fills my nose as drunken teenagers dance the night away with whatever is in their system. I came to this stupid beach party with Conrad and Jeremiah who both ran off to do god knows what not that this was a new occurrence.

Jere has always attracted girls like moths to light meanwhile Conrad ventures off to do whatever he does and if someone happens to join them he won't push them off so long as they don't try to actually get to know him least that is how he has been the last few summers. 

They started bringing me here with them 7 years ago when we met. I've always been closer with Conrad. Jeremiah had Belly and Conrad had me though you never want to go to boardwalk with the four of us unless you're wanting some quality entertainment.

The Fisher boys always know how to have fun the Conklin's and I can never say no even if it means coming to a dumb beach bonfire. I'd go anywhere with Conrad it's been that way since we met this includes an impromptu trip to the other side of the country to attend a Universal Studios Horrors night as my birthday present. 

We were grounded for 2 months after that one but it was worth any time with him was. He'll only ever see me as his best friend though he has made that crystal clear he's been in touch with this Deb he met last summer "Nicole", they've just been talking but it seems like they could be more this summer or just a casual summer fling of convenience. Maybe this summer I'll find my fling.

"Hey don't think I've ever seen you around here?", a voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "Huh?",  I connect with brown eyes belonging to someone tall, dark skinned, curly dark hair and muscular. "I said I've never seen you around here.", he repeats himself. "Funny because I've come here every summer for the last 7 years." a laugh decorates my words with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh yeah?  Which house is yours?", he plays along. "First of all creepy and second I'm a guest with the Fisher's.", I giggle. "Ah great guys always fun at a party." his attitude changes from interested to standoffish. "We are just friends all of us.", I smile kindly. "Good to know..care for a drink?", he extends his hand to me with a kind smile. 

"Sure why not.", I take his hand. "I'm Lucas.". "Y/N.". "And I'm Conrad glad we got the introductions out of the way now let's get beer.", my best friend pops up out of nowhere. "Uh okay sure I'll be right back.", Lucas runs off wearing a confused expression. "What are you doing?", I hiss at the brown-haired boy. 

"Hanging with my best bud what do you mean.", he slings his arm around my shoulder with a smirk planted on his lips...his lips..focus. "No why you're doing is ruining a potential new friend.", a stern tone clutches onto my words. "Friend huh? Yeah sure whatever.", he scoffs. "Go makeup with Red Sox girl some more.", I roll my eyes pushing his arm off of me. I knew it was Nicole but saying her name out loud stung.

"Jealous?", I don't have to look at him to know a sly look sits on his face. "As if. Have I ever been jealous of the girls you've dated?", my arms sit crossed just beneath my chest. "I'm sure you have been.". "Check your ego bro.", I turn to walk away when he says, "I have you to keep me humble don't I?", a chuckle follows. 

"Whatever I'll see you later.", the sand envelops my feet treading to find Lucas. "Y/N over here!", a voice calls me over belonging to Lucas over by the fire. "Your bodyguard still with you?", he asks when I finally make it over to him. "Funny uh no I gave him the night off.", I smile. "Good to know.", he playfully bumps my shoulder handing me a beer can unopened. 

"So do you come here just for summer or do you experience Cousins in all four seasons?", I ask. He takes a seat in the sand waiting for me to join him before answering. "I actually go to boarding school so I experience a little bit of all four seasons on holiday assuming I don't run off to Mexico for Christmas or spring break.", he laughs. "You don't seem the other spoiled boarding school brats we run into here.", confusion swirls in my head. 

"I mean would you prefer for me to? Ugh my parents shipping me off to some lame ass boarding school with their credit card knowing I have a trust fund to carry me for the rest of my life even though I'll probably blow it on some stupid shit as soon as I'm 25.", his tone becomes snarky, and attitude narcissistic quickly replaced by the charming side once more. 

"Entertaining I will say but not my vibe.", a laugh escapes my lips. "Good cause that's not who I am.", he chuckles joins the air. We spend the time talking soon leaving the fire to walk along the beach taking about just how different our lives are. He was good company, but I kept thinking about Conrad and what he was doing, who he was with, why he wasn't with me. 

Yes, I know I basically told him fuck off but it's not like he ever listens he's my best friend and he knows y/n speak by now. Conrad maybe smart enough to get into Brown but sometimes he needs a little push in the right direction. "Y/N are you listening?", Lucas jumps in front of me. My face drops into a frown feeling bad i hadn’t been pay attention.

"Y/N quick it's Conrad!", Steven yells. My feet carry me as fast as they can without getting caught in the sand back to the group of teens surrounding a fight with none other than my stupid best friend in the middle of it.

"Con! Quit being stupid!", I push my way through the crowd and try to pull him off the random dude. My attempt was moot until Jere finally stepped in and broke up the fight around the same time as sirens began sounding. 

"Cops!". The teens that once covered the beach dropped their drinks and scattered like cockroaches. "Y/N let's go grab some ice cream and I'll take you home.", Lucas grabs ahold of my hand gently tugging me away from the guys.

"Like hell you will.", Conrad pulls me towards him. "You don't own her man. She can come with me if she wants to.", the alluring guy I was talking to all night disappears taken over with frustration and anger.

"We brought her, we will take her home besides she just met you like I'd ever let her endanger herself like that. Besides your place isn’t her home. Mine is.”the brown hair boy mocks the curly haired boys statement. "I never said anything about my place quit putting words in my mouth".

 "Would both of you just shut up!.", my outburst took both of them aback. "Lucas I'll see you around. Conrad let's get your stupid ass home.", annoyance prominent in my voice as I drag them away from each other. "Give me the keys Conrad.", I hold out my hand. "Not a chance.", he pushes past me and gets in the drivers side of his sedan. 

"I can't fucking believe you.", his tone accusatory. "Believe me about what?". "That boarding school trust fund fuck boys are your type.", his hands grip the wheel tighter than normal meanwhile I completely lose it.

"And how the fuck would you know what my type is huh! You have never cared nor taken an interest in the guys I have talked to. God acting like my dad I don't need your protection okay I can take care of myself.", I can feel my cheeks turning hot with anger. 

"You are so wrapped up in your own world you don't even notice that I do care about who you are with. You deserve more than that jackass.", tension settles in the air, suddenly this car feels like a tiny box."All that guy wanted to do was hook up with you.",his voice was filled with a know it all tone.

"So what if that is what I wanted!", he is surprised by my response. "You don't wanna lose it to some random one night stand.". "And if I do?", I didn't but he didn't need to know that.

"I know you Y/N you want to lose it to someone you care about and you know cares about you.", his grips loosens. "Maybe it's just not meant for me.", I can't let my guard down. 

My eyes follow his hand as it leaves the wheel and lays flat against the skin between my thigh and knee. "Don't say that.", we finally pull into the driveway of the beach house quietly making our way in the house careful not to wake Laurel or Susannah. I make my way to the kitchen grabbing some powdered donuts from the pantry. 

"I wasn't trying to upset you..honestly. You're my best friend and I never want to hurt you but lately I just keep fucking up.", he follows me after Jere, Belly and Steven trot upstairs to their rooms. "It's fine Connie you were right I don't wanna lose my virginity to some dude I met on the beach at a lame party.", I avoid looking at him. 

"I wouldn't want that for you either.", a gentle tone takes over his voice. "You're not fucking up anything by the way I mean I'm still here aren't I?", I attempt to lighten the mood. "Surprisingly so.", he chuckles. "What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?", I finally bathe the strength to look at him without melting. 

The way the front pieces of his hair kind of flop in front of his eyes, he's constantly pushing them behind his ear mainly when he's nervous but he also refuses to cut it Susannah loves it. His brown eyes seep into mine without even trying encapsulating me in a daydream. 

"You...me...y/n you think I don't care who you date but I do.", a nervous Conrad is not something I don't see often or ever really. "Let's not have this conversation again please.", I beg. "I have feelings for you.", he blurts not looking me in the eye. "What?", I'm taken aback praying he said what I heard.

"I like you Y/N and I have since we met I'm just so screwed up and I didn't wanna drag you down with me especially with my mom. You're the only other person besides me who knows about my parents and they don't even know that I know.", the sound of the stool screeching against the floor as he stands up out of the chair echos string us both. 

"Con you're not screwed up..", I gently take his hands in mine connecting our eyes. "You just need to develop better communication skills.". "How's this for practice?", his body leans over mine slowly coming down to bring his lips to mine. 

Is this really happening? Am I about to kiss Conrad Fisher, I've only ever dreamed of this moment never anticipating the reality god don't let me mess this up please. The soft skin of his lips gently connect with him, his hands disconnecting from mine caressing my cheeks instead leaving my hand to go to his shoulders pulling him closer afraid to lose the moment. 

I've always felt safe around him but, here in this moment it was cloud nine times a million. I didn't want it to end but we had to breathe eventually. "So?". 

"Well ahem.. a kiss isn't communicating however you can take that as an I feel the same way..", I anxiously pull my bottom lip between my teeth. "I love how you do that when you're nervous.", a nervous laugh escapes his lips. "We should head up to bed it's getting late.", as much as I don't want to I pull away from his body, his warmth knowing he'll be different in the morning. 

"Stay with me tonight.", it comes off as a statement rather than a question making my heart jump with excitement. "Your mom would flip if she caught us in your room.", I raise a brow. "Not if she doesn't find out or I come up with a really good excuse as to why you were in my room, and my bed.", he keeps me close.

"I don't know Con.". "Please.". "Okay fine.". 

Pleased with my appliance to his wishes he leads us upstairs to his room carefully closing the door. After removing our shoes we lay in his bed facing each other, the light of the moon casting a light so bright I could see his whole face in the dark.

The soft touch of his hands push some hair behind my ear before pulling me into our second kiss of the evening. 

Without thinking I immediately kiss him back, our bodies manage to close any gap left between us in a matter of seconds the moment enclosing us in a world of our own. I pull back slightly we are still nose to nose but rarely any space is between us. 

With as much confidence as I could muster I whisper the words I've wanted to say for months, "I want it to be you.". He is slightly surprised by my statement but doesn't break our contact, a small smile daring to turn up the corner of his mouth. "Are you sure? That wasn't what I was trying to do not now.", the words are soft spoken. 

"I'm sure unless you don't want to?", my eyes search his for an ounce of rejection. "Believe me I want to I just don't want you to feel rushed or pressured.". Without another word my hand takes a hold of his guiding it from the softness of my legs up to rest on my hips slowly and ever so gently. "Please Connie." with that I connect our lips once more. 

He takes this as his green light deepening the kiss turning me onto my back so he can be onto careful not to crush me under him. My fingers dance under his shirt against his stomach and chest, he smiles into the kiss before moving to my neck tenderly nipping at the skin a gasp escaping my lips. 

"We have to be quiet baby.", he whispers into my ear sending shivers down my spine in the best way possible. We both sit up swiftly removing our shirts, he gently pecks my lips allowing himself to kiss down my jawline, neck and along my shoulders till his hands reach the clasp of my bra. 

"May I?", his breathe tickles my neck and I nod. The white lace is soon gone leaving my top half completely bare and exposed, to my own surprise I'm not as nervous as I'd thought I'd be but how can I be when it's him.

He begins to kiss from my shoulder back down my chest gently laying me back down before reaching my jeans. I can feel his fingers undo the button and zipper tugging the denim off my hips and down my legs. 

A cold breeze hit my sensitiveness causing me to shudder. One step further and my panties have fond the rest of the clothes on my the floor. His eyes meet mine again a smile plastered on his face before speaking in a hushed tone. "Okay I'm gonna be honest it does hurt the first time but I promise I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure that you are ready before then. Do you trust me baby?". 

"Of course I do.", I smile. 

Our lips attach themselves once more as his thumb begins to rub my bud an action responsible for my hips bucking up. "It's okay.Relax", he reassures me against my lips.

My mind goes foggy overcome by his touch, of course I've touch myself but his hands against my most sensitive part was a whole new feeling of pleasure I've had yet to explore. 

When he feels I'm ready he slides a finger inside pumping in and out slowly, our moans mix together in the air trying to remain quiet. "I'm going to add another okay?". "Okay.". I feel his index and and middle fingers sliding in and out of me a wave of pleasure washing over me. I kiss him to try and cover my moans a futile action as I end up moaning against his lips instead. 

"Fuck yes just like that.", my hips begin to grind against his fingers giving him confidence to speed up slightly. My stomach begins to tighten as my climax winds up, he plants soft kisses along my chest continuing his motions only heightening my moans. "You are so beautiful y/n.", his whisper causes butterflies to let loose in my stomach. 

"I think I'm ready Connie.", I couldn't hold back anymore. I wanted him, all of him more than anything in this moment. "I think so too.", all contact is taken away so he could remove his jeans but I can't help the whimper that leaves my lips at the loss. 

The moment stand still our eyes locked on one another taking in this sight of each others exposed state, emotionally and physically bare. I prayed he couldn't hear how loud my heart was beating I've wanted him for so long to be more than my best friend and here he is, here I am giving him my first an I wouldn't change a thing. 

"Do you have protection?", I ask. He nods before reaching into his drawer and pulling out a shiny gold foil, putting on the condom and hovering over me once more. "I want you to be mine.", the words fall graciously from his now swollen lips. "I am yours.", I'm quick to answer.

"No I mean I want us, you and me. Boyfriend and girlfriend. This isn't just a one time thing. Be mine? Please.", a vulnerable Conrad is a side we rarely see and only in his most emotional state thought I've always been his soft spot. "I've always been yours whether you knew it or not my love.", I don't blush at the statement instead I smile and plant a small kiss on his nose. 

"This may still hurt I'm gonna go slow and let me know when I can move okay?", his lips lower to mine. His tip rubbing against my clit earning a small moan. "Okay.", I force the one worded answer out. As he kisses me slowly his member enters me...holy shit...a stint of pain swells inside my body, "Please move Con.", I manage. 

The thrusts replace pain with bliss, his minty scent fills my olfactory nerves, the soft touch of his lips and hands dance along my skin with sweat glistening on us both.

"Fuck you feel good baby.", he's as breathless as I am. His hands grip my hips imprinting small marks on them while my nails dig into his shoulders and back my entire body buried in ecstasy. 

"More.", I beg. I can feel him smirk into my neck picking up his pace and pushing deeper into me causing my back to arch off the bed our chests colliding. "Oh god." I moan gripping his shoulders so tight my knuckles are white.

"You're okay we're almost there.",his words soothe me and I allow myself to fall back against the mattress. As if they have a mind of their own my hips being to move meeting his hurts with equal enthusiasm and energy. "Just like that.", he groans into my skin. 

The knot in my stomach grows and grows I'm toe curling close to my end as is he. His speed picks up, ours moans mix praying we don't wake anyone. Mass amounts of Conrads groans fill the air when I begin to clench around him neither of us could hold on any longer.

 A white haze clouds all my senses as my entire body shakes with my orgasm. I feel him finish with me both of us panting and completely gone for each other and the moment we just shared.

A few minutes pass allowing us to collect ourselves before he quickly jumps grabbing an old t-shirt to clean us up. His care is gently and appreciated as some soreness begins to settle between my legs. 

"So how was I?', my cheeks turn red as I ask. I grab his shirt off the floor and pull it over my head covering myself.  "Perfect.", his arms wrap around my body spooning me, comforting me in a way I've never known a person could.

"Thank you for being my first.", the words are spoken just above a whisper. "Just hope you don't regret it.", his body tenses nervously against my back a sadness coating his words. "I could never regret you Conrad not about this, and not about us...we're infinite.". 

"Infinite.". he repests. "I should probably go to mine and Belly's room before anyone gets suspicious.", I try to get up only to be pulled back by Conrad. "You aren't going anywhere. I told you I will find a great excuse as to why you were in here.", I giggle at his statement.

"And what about the clothes that covering the floor?", I cock an eyebrow at him. "I've been meaning to do laundry.", he answers. 

"That includes my panties?", I can't help but laugh. "They got mixed up?", he shrugs. "My boyfriend ladies and gentlemen the best liar.", we both erupt in a fit of laughter though it is short lived as my eyelids begin to droop closed.

"Goodnight Connie.", my whole body relaxes into his chest sleep taking over. 

"Goodnight my infinity.", him kissing my head is the last thing I remember before being swept away in sleep. 

Infinity.  

[hacked-by-jake]

Imma done with duskwood lmao 😂 Too long waiting, I wrote my own ending and now I lost interest in duskwood xD I know they are a small group of developers but they must realize their fandom is slowly dying :( It's sad but it is the truth 🥺 I see so many duskwood writer going quiet or writing OG works....

Well, that's very sad. But I don't think the fandom is dying. Not at all. First of all, it's January, trust me when I tell you, it's always very quiet in January. It's a stressful time. While December for example is more way more active. People have more time and winter makes more people to stay at home etc. It's not unusual for this time. Nevertheless, I do understand a bit what you mean. Of course we're waiting for Moonvale for a longer time now, but I think it's understandable. At least, I was expecting a long time for it to come out.

And I'm pretty sure they're aware of it... I see enough people starting to hate on them, leaving mean comments on Instagram etc. They know we're all waiting and they also know people become more and more inpatient. And I guess it's for them as hard as it is for us. I don't know what is going on there at Everbyte, but I'm very sure if they could they would work faster. But I think they already use every possible second to work on it. I mean, for them it's their income, their way to earn money, I don’t think they can just put Moonvale aside and chill, haha. Maybe they even have a second job, I don’t know, we don't know about the circumstances. I'm repeating myself, but I am convinced that this situation is difficult for Everbyte as well. And I don’t think they themselves expected it to take that long.

Still, I understand what you’re saying and how you mean it, but now, I think losing interest in things is normal. It happens all the time. And especially since Duskwood has been finished for quite some time now, the hype disappears at some point, but with luck it comes back. I mean, have you ever watched a movie you really liked but then you had to wait 3 or 4 or even more years for the second part? You’re not as excited about the movie every single day as you were the first time. You wait, maybe you lose interest in time, as I said, it’s normal. When the film is released, when it is finally ready, the joy often comes back. The movie was released and then you can decide if you want to watch it anyway, if it is worth trying, or if you are not interested anymore. Both is possible. Of course it's sad if you're absolutely done with it but it's simply normal and I don't think you can do anything about it.

And whether there is a connection between Moonvale and the more frequent occurrence of original works that I can not judge. I rather think it's simply because it's way easier to reach people with writing fanfiction. So, you can write fanfiction, write things you enjoy a lot and then you're interested in writing something made by yourself from top to bottom. You already reached some people so if you're lucky, maybe they will also be interested in an original work. I know many writers who simply never dared to publish original stories. But if one persons starts to publish their work other might get the missing courage to do it as well.

And yes, it’s also true that many Duskwood writers don’t post that much anymore. Of course, it will also be due to the fact that everyone’s joy and the excitement decreases a little after a while. Just like it happened with you. And that's okay as well. But I can also tell you that some people don’t read as many Duskwood fanfictions as before, which can be very demotivating for writer. But it’s also that the time we live in is nothing but hectic and exhausting. So much is going on. Everyone has so much stress. Health problems became much more present. Time is simply the enemy for many, the exhaustion does not allow people to write because something else is always going on. But in every other fandom it is no different, absolutely not. But because the Duskwood fandom is so much smaller it just stands out much faster. It's much more visible.

It's just a hard time in general. :/

Please don’t get my words wrong. I don't want to sound mean or rude or anything. Really. And I do understand what you mean and sometimes I even feel similar. It's a pity you're feeling this way by now but as I said, it's nothing unusual. It's sad when you lose things that used to bring you happiness but I think you can do nothing about it. I just hope at some point your excitement will be back and maybe you're even going to play Moonvale. I think it is not good to force yourself to like something if you have really lost interest. And instead of Duskwood and moonvale, I hope you find something else to enjoy. 💚

Still, thank you a lot for sending this ask and especially for sharing your thoughts with me/us. It means a lot to me. And I hope the 'situation' will improve for you again. I hope you're doing good so far. Please take always care of yourself and stay healthy and safe. Have a good day/evening/night. 💚💚