#This comes immediately after she asked me how Chicago was and how she thought it wasn’t a very ‘smart financial move’ on my part.

[iero]

I love my grandmother dearly but her “You’re getting to that age where you should be settling down. Why haven’t you settled down yet?” shovel talk drives me fucking insane!

[alisonsfics]

team building

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: when natalie suggested a day of team building, carmy wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a wasting a day in the kitchen. he knew it would piss richie off though, which made it so much easier to agree. and he knew he’d get to spend more quality time with you.

word count: 2.4k

Things had been off at the restaurant. After a less-than-spectacular review from a food critic came out about the Bear, everybody had been on edge. Richie and Carmy were arguing all the time. Not important arguments, but just bickering about nonsense.

So, Sugar came in one day and suggested a team building day as a reset for everyone. Carmy had thought she was joking. Any time not spent in the kitchen felt like wasted time to him.

The only reason that Carmy ended up agreeing was because he knew how much it would annoy Richie.

That was how you all found yourself at a local park on a chilly Chicago morning.

You were one of the first ones to show up because your alarm went off earlier than you had meant for it to. You crossed your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up.

You headed towards Sugar, Syd, and Marcus, who were sitting and chatting at a picnic table.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Sydney joked, seeing the tired look in your eyes. You smiled to yourself at her joke before giving her a quick hug.

She patted the seat next to her, and you quickly sat down. You crossed your arms on the table and leaned your head down. “Wake me up when everyone gets here,” you mumbled before closing your eyes.

“Okay, honey,” Natalie said, giving you a sweet smile.

Fifteen minutes later, Carmy pulled into the parking lot. He quickly flipped down his sun visor and checked his appearance in the mirror.

Knowing that he’d be seeing you, he fixed his hair, pushing some of the loose strands out of his face.

He carefully juggled the trays of coffee that he bought for everyone as he walked into the park. He spotted Natalie, who waved him over.

His eyes instantly landed on you. As he neared the table, he noticed that you hadn’t moved. “Is she sleeping?” He mouthed, looking at Sugar. She mouthed “yes” and nodded.

He quickly nodded, trying to be as silent as possible. Sydney scooted over, so that Carmy could sit between the two of you. It wasn’t an accident that Natalie and Marcus didn’t offer him a seat on the other side of the table. The whole team had been trying to facilitate the two of you getting together for months.

Carmy carefully set down the trays of coffee, desperately trying to not wake you up. He adored you, and everyone knew it.

He handed cups of coffee to Sydney, Natalie, and Marcus. His elbow accidentally bumped into your side. You slowly picked your head up from the table, a sleepy look on your face.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” he said, apologetically. You nodded, giving him a soft smile once you saw him. He handed you a cup of coffee as an apology.

“Thank you,” you said softly as you took a sip.

“Of course,” he said, willing to do anything to make you smile like that. You leaned your head over onto his shoulder, and he thought was gonna burst.

Sugar immediately had a smirk on her face when she noticed Carmy’s giddy smile. Carmy ignored her teasing and tried to pretend the love he had for you wasn’t obvious to everyone around him.

“Not enough sleep?” He whispered to you, letting his arm wrap around your shoulder. “Mhmm,” you quietly hummed, nestling yourself into his side.

“You guys want to come help me set something up?” Sugar asked Sydney and Marcus. The three of them quickly got up to leave but not before winking at Carmy.

After months of it, Carmy had come to expect their matchmaking antics.

“Y’know, I bet Nat would let you skip this if you need to get some sleep,” Carmy said, looking down at you. You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s fine, Carmy. I’m just a little sleepy.” You said.

A shiver ran down your spine from the chilly air. “You’re freezing. Here, drink some of your coffee.” He said, using his free hand to give you the cup.

You sat up, leaning away from Carmy and quickly stretching. You took the cup out of his hand and took a few sips. “You take such good care of me.” You said, smiling at him over the lid of your cup.

He returned your sweet smile. “You’d do the same for me.” He replied simply.

He noticed how your hands were slightly shaking as you shivered. He slid his denim jacket off his arms and wrapped it warmly around your shoulders.

Carmy’s cologne, which coated the jacket, filled all your senses. “Thank you,” you said, softly. Everything about Carmy made you feel like you were a teenager again.

“Am I interrupting some flirting?” You both heard Richie’s loud voice as he walked up to the both of you.

“Take some coffee and shut the fuck up,” Carmy countered. It was a little too early for Carmy to want to deal with the incessant teasing about your relationship, or lack there of. Richie held his hands up in surrender and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Richie,” you said. Your sunny disposition was a direct contrast to Carmy’s current attitude toward Richie. Carmy didn’t want Richie to embarrass him in front of him.

“Good morning, sweetheart. It’s nice to see that someone’s in a good mood.” Richie said, directing a joking glare at Carmy.

“Call me sweetheart again, and I’ll hit you.” You warned, leaning your head back on Carmy’s shoulder. Carmy chuckled at your threat. “Point taken, won’t happen again,” Richie said simply.

Richie had learned not to push your buttons the same way he did to Carmy. He gave your hand a quick squeeze, which you took as a valid apology.

“Carmy, can we borrow your girl for a second?” Sydney called out to him. A giggle slipped out of your lips, while Carmy groaned. “Oh, for fucks sake,” he mumbled to himself. Before he could argue, you jumped up from your seat. “Coming,” you yelled, walking towards them.

“Come on, cousin, you gotta quit with the fucking jokes,” Carmy said to Richie after you were out of earshot.

Richie walked closer to him and took a seat beside him. “When are you gonna tell her how you feel?” Richie asked him, his tone very serious.

“You know I can’t. We work together.” Carmy said, simply. He hadn’t given the idea much thought. Sure, Carmy was basically head over heels for you, but he wouldn’t allow himself to even fantasize about the possibility. “She cares about you, Carm. Like really cares about you. That shit is special.” Richie told him.

“Boys, get over here.” Sugar yelled, in a motherly fashion.

Carmy and Richie immediately headed to join the others, knowing not to argue with her.

The two of them became hesitant when they realized they were walking towards a Twister mat. “Oh, come on, Nat,” Carmy started to protest.

“No buts, you are playing this game.” She told him, crossing her arms.

The five of you: you, Carmy, Sydney, Marcus, and Richie, all kicked your shoes off while Natalie grabbed the spinner.

It started off pretty mundane. “Right foot, red,” Natalie called out.

Richie “accidentally” slipped and fell, getting himself eliminated. But, you all knew that he just wanted to stop playing as soon as possible. He went to sit next to Sugar and laughed at the four of you as you struggled.

You and Carmy ended up face-to-face, only separated by a few inches. You giggled at Carmy trying to keep his hair out of his face.

Marcus got distracted by looking at you both swooning. His foot slipped, and he fell into the grass.

Natalie called out the next movement, which got you and Carmy separated enough, so you both could think straight.

Carmy ended up facing a different direction, but you could see Sydney’s face. She wiggled her eyebrows and looked between you and Carmy.

“Stop it,” you mouthed at her, trying to stop her teasing. An impossible goal.

She raised her eyebrows at you, challenging you. You didn’t know what she was going to do, but you didn’t think it boded well for you. You followed her gaze to the green circle her hand was currently resting on. She slid her hand to the side and pretended to slip.

“Oh, whoops,” she sarcastically whispered to you. With Sydney out, that left just you and Carmy. And all your friends watching.

Carmy couldn’t see it, but you watched Sydney join Natalie and move the spinner to the color she wanted. Natalie called it out, “right foot, blue, Carmy,”.

Not knowing about the secret plot, Carmy innocently followed the directions, putting you both in an awkward situation. Richie was the first to realize how unfortunate the position was, chuckling to himself.

You were currently in a downward dog position, and Carmy had his hands on either side of yours. Due to the recent “spin,” his chest was leaning against your back, and his hips were pressed forward against your ass.

Carmy tried to keep as much distance between the two of you as he could. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but he was kind of stuck.

“There’s kids at this park, come on, Berzatto,” Richie teased. Everyone realized what he was implying and started chuckling.

Carmy’s face was bright red, and he was beyond embarrassed. The humor wasn’t lost on you, but you were more amused than Carmy was at the situation.

“Team bonding, Natalie? I think we’re getting a little more than that.” Richie joked again. You started laughing and trying desperately to not slip and fall. As you were laughing, your whole body shook…against Carmy.

Behind you, you heard a small groan from Carmy that only you could hear. Everyone was also unaware of how he was biting down on his lip. Carmy was trying to think of anything that wasn’t how close he was to you right now.

He normally had a million thoughts racing around his head, but right now there was only one.

Completely distracted, his foot slipped. He fell on top of you, sending you both crashing towards the ground.

He shifted his weight, so he wasn’t leaning all his weight on you. “Oh shit, sorry. Are you okay? You good?” He anxiously asked you. He moved his hand to cradle the back of your head, making sure it didn’t start bleeding when you bumped it on the ground.

“I’ll go grab some ice.” Sydney said, the others following her to give you both some privacy.

“Carmy, I’m fine. It was just a bump.” You assured him. It didn’t get rid of the worried look in his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been more careful.” He apologized. You could see the guilt in his eyes.

“I’m okay, I promise,” you tried unsuccessfully to convince him.

He moved his hand from the back of your head to brush a piece of hair behind your ear.

You grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards you, pressing a soft kiss against the bottom of his palm. It was a silent way of trying to calm Carmy down and assure him everything was fine.

“Besides, who else gets to say they’ve had the one and only Carmen Berzatto on top of them like this.” You teased him, gesturing at how he was still hovering above you.

He easily could have sat up and helped you up. It would’ve been even easier now that you’d pointed it out.

He stayed where he was.

If he moved any closer, his whole body would be pressed against yours. His lips were only millimeters away from yours, which made it so much harder for him to not kiss you.

“Wait…what?” He asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

You gave him a look that let him know that he already knew the answer.

“Are we just going to play this game forever? Where we dance around actually telling each other how we feel? You can’t possibly have any doubts that this is mutual. Our friends haven’t been teasing us about flirting for no reason. And you weren’t exactly subtle when you were practically thrusting your hips into my ass.” You explained.

For a second, you could see the gears turning in his head.

Then, he kissed you.

It was rushed but not short. Your arms naturally found their way around his neck. You both smiled into the kiss, grateful that it was finally happening.

Subconsciously, you both knew this day would come, but recently you’d been doubting it.

As Sydney dug through the cooler, Richie noticed you both over her shoulder.

“Oh my god. Cousin finally fucking went for it.” He exclaimed to himself. The rest of the group followed his gaze to see what he was talking about.

When they laid eyes on you and Carmy, all their jaws dropped.

“God, you’re wonderful,” Carmy mumbled against your lips. You both got distracted when your friends starting cheering for you. You could see the embarrassment on Carmy’s cheeks when he realized they were cheering for you both.

Richie even decided to whistle at you, which looked very strange to onlookers.

“Kinda forgot they were here,” Carmy whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

He bashfully stood up and helped pull you to your feet.

As you both walked back towards the picnic tables, you didn’t know what to do as they all stared at the two of you. Carmy grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, earning another cheer from Sugar and Sydney.

The two girls quickly pulled you both into a hug. “It’s about damn time,” Sydney told you, causing you to giggle.

“Now the bet can finally end,” Marcus added. After a second of silence, you and Carmy turned to look at him. “The bet?” You both asked in unison.

Instead of responding, Sydney, Marcus, and Natalie all handed Richie twenty bucks.

“We got bored watching you two pine over each other, so we started a bet. The three of us thought it would happen months ago, but Richie was in it for the long haul.” Sydney explained.

“You all had too much confidence in cousin’s confidence. I knew it would take him forever to finally fess up.” Richie said, smiling as he stuffed the money in his pocket.

“It wasn’t even me. It was all her.” Carmy said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. There wasn’t much of a reaction. “I’m sure they’re really shocked by that Carmy.” You said, sarcastically.

Carmy just chuckled and kissed your forehead.

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[steddieas-shegoes]

never gonna give you up

for @steddiemicrofic "fake" prompt that needed to include the words: and, around, desert, down, give, gonna, let, never, run, up, you

1987 words | rated e | no cw | tags: modern au, flirting, bisexual steve harrington, handjobs, some platonic stobin, ridiculous and unserious

😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

"This might be the first time someone's deserted me in the middle of a date," Steve said into the phone.

"You aren't counting that one time Sarah left during the movie?" Robin asked.

"She had a family emergency!" Steve exclaimed.

"Right, and I'm definitely going on a date with a dude later."

"You're saying she didn't have a family emergency?"

Steve remembered that date, remembered how she'd even had tears in her eyes when she said her mom called and she had to run home.

"You're gonna unpack that all night, aren't you?" Robin sighed on the other end. "Steve, just go home. Take a week off from trying to get into some poor woman's pants. Leave some of them for me to get into. I beg you."

"What makes you think they'd come running to you?" Steve looked over at a guy standing at the counter of the diner, clearly trying to pick up his order. From the back, he seemed tall, but that could be the black skinny jeans and boots combo.

"Let me talk to them for one minute and I'll have them convinced."

The guy turned as the woman behind the counter walked to the kitchen, his eyes settling on Steve talking on his cell phone at the table in the corner. It's not like there were many people here on a Monday night, nothing else to look at but Steve awkwardly sitting by himself with two glasses on the table.

The guy started to walk over, and Steve recognized him immediately.

"Gotta go, Robs."

"What? How are you done wallowing already?"

He hung up before she could continue, putting his phone face down on the table.

"Well, well, well. Never thought I'd see the day where Steve Harrington shows back up in Hawkins."

Eddie Munson didn't know shit about Steve, never really had. He thought he did, just like everyone else in high school, but the gossip that followed him around never had much truth to it. He really only had two girlfriends for most of high school, and only one of them was serious enough for him to sleep with.

The sleeping around came after his move to Chicago, when he was constantly surrounded by women who would give him all the attention he wanted.

"Never really thought I'd be back," he said with a genuine smile. Kill them with kindness or whatever his grandmother used to say.

It seemed to throw Eddie off at least, his mouth opening and closing around whatever rebuttal he planned.

"So why are you here? Visiting the parents?" Eddie crossed his arms, leaned his hip against the edge of the table.

"Nah, came to visit Dustin Henderson. Staying for a few more days and thought it would be nice to take someone out. I guess she didn't agree," Steve shrugged.

Eddie glanced down at the empty spot across from him, the glass on the table with half of the drink missing. He looked back at Steve's face.

He sat down across from him and smirked.

"So. Come here often, sunshine?"

Steve snorted, shaking his head as he looked up at Eddie.

"Not as often as I would if I was coming to see you," Steve replied, taking a sip of his drink.

Eddie clearly wasn't expecting him to flirt back. He recovered quickly, though.

"I suppose we could fix that, then, huh?"

Steve looked him up and down, taking in the messy bun his curly hair was pulled into, the pen mark on his cheek, tattoos up and down his arm.

"I suppose we could."

Waking up in Eddie Munson's bed was definitely not what he expected when he arrived in Hawkins two days ago, but stranger things had happened.

He opened his eyes to sunlight streaming in through the curtains and Eddie's warm body pressed against his back.

Neither of them had gotten dressed after their shower last night, too tired to do anything more than rinse off the sweat and cum from hours of making each other come undone.

Steve let himself have this. Eddie would kick him out when he woke up, kindly of course, but he'd make it clear to Steve that this was a one night thing. No matter how good it was, Steve wasn't an idiot. He knew Eddie would never actually be interested in a guy like him.

"Mmm. Stop thinkin' s' loud," Eddie's lips brushed against the back of Steve's neck in a half-kiss, sending a shiver down his spine. "'s too early."

Steve smiled to himself, let Eddie's arms tighten around him and hold him close for a bit longer.

"I should probably head back to the Henderson's. Claudia will be worried if I'm not there for lunch," Steve said quietly.

"Just text Dustin, tell him your date went well."

Steve shouldn't get his hopes up. It's not like he was gonna do long distance, and even if he would be willing, there was no way Eddie would.

"I can't lie to him," Steve felt his heart flip flop in his chest at the admission.

Eddie's head lifted and his breath hit the side of Steve's face instead of his shoulder. "Did it not go well? I thought it- well, I thought it went great, actually."

Steve turned in Eddie's arms, facing him, placing his hands on his chest. "It did go well! It did."

"Okay, then…"

"It's just this wasn't exactly a date, was it? You just felt bad for me, probably wanted to see if the rumors were true."

"What rumors?"

"You know. The ones about me sleeping around, being good with my mouth." Steve's eyes searched Eddie's, looking for any hint of recognition. When none came, he continued. "How I let anyone fuck me on the first date?"

Eddie's brows furrowed. "Is that what people say about you?"

"You don't have to act dumb, Eddie. Some of it's true."

Eddie's hands were rubbing up and down his back, making goosebumps appear on his skin. "You are good with your mouth. That one’s true. The rest though? I never believed any of that shit.”

“Really? Why not?”

Eddie’s hand traced along Steve’s only tattoo, a robin placed just under his collarbone. “Because I never gave much thought to rumors. Lord knows most of the ones about me weren’t true.”

Steve thought about all the rumors he’d heard about Eddie in high school.

Back then, he may have believed some of them, but he had firsthand experience with things getting out of hand.

“You can think what you want, but I brought you back here because I genuinely enjoyed talking to you at the diner. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I wanted to get rid of you. Trust me. I’m not really a one and done guy,” Eddie’s hand cupped his cheek, thumb rubbing along his cheekbone. “If you’re in a rush to go, I can’t stop you. But I think staying in bed with you all morning sounds pretty fuckin’ good.”

Steve’s breath hitched, his heart kicked up in his chest. “You know, I’ve actually never bottomed before last night.”

Eddie’s eyes widened. “Seriously? Never?”

Steve shook his head. “Never found anyone I could trust to be gentle.”

“Was I gentle enough? Shit, you should’ve told me. I used spit as lube, Steve! That couldn’t have been comfortable.” Eddie pulled away a few inches, mumbling to himself in a panic.

“Eddie.” Steve tried to get his attention back on him. “Eds.”

Steve shifted forward, his front pressing against Eddie’s, his half-hard cock finding friction against Eddie’s thigh.

They both groaned as Steve rocked against him again.

“Everything was perfect, Eds. Only thing that would make it better is if I get to watch you come again right now," Steve said against his lips, pushing his hips forward so their cocks brushed against each other.

"Fuck, keep doing that and you'll get your wish, sweetheart."

He was sensitive, worked up from the hot breath against his mouth, the tongue brushing against his bottom lip. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd been this wrapped up in someone, this attentive to the sounds they made, this focused on making sure they both felt good.

The friction was enough on its own to get Steve to the edge, and if Eddie's moans were anything to go off of, he was right there with him.

Steve never felt safe enough to be loud, not until he had Eddie begging him to make noise.

"C'mon, Stevie. Wanna hear how good you feel. Sounds so good when you can't hold it back," Eddie's hand gripped his hip, tugging him closer. They were both leaking precum, dripping down each other's lengths and losing track of where one of them ended and the other began.

Steve couldn't hold it back, didn't want to anyway. Letting Eddie hear how good he felt was a need.

"You gonna come with me, sweetheart?" Eddie gasped out as he wrapped his hand around both of them, slowing his hips to focus on moving his hand, finding the perfect angle and pace to get them both over the edge.

Steve bit his lip and nodded, barely holding back a whimper as Eddie's grip tightened around them.

"Come for me, Stevie."

Eddie's voice had a direct link to Steve's cock, maybe through the hand wrapped around him. Steve came with a shout, curling forward so his forehead fell against Eddie's shoulder.

He was overstimulated, fighting the urge to buck into his hand and pull away at the same time.

Steve pulled his head back to watch as Eddie groaned, cum hitting both of their stomachs as he worked himself through his orgasm.

They both lay there in silence, Eddie's grip loose around them as they both softened. They'd need to clean up before the cum dried in Steve's chest hairs and made them sticky, but moving seemed like an impossible task.

"You live in Chicago now?" Eddie asked suddenly, making Steve jump. He rubbed his cleaner hand on his back in silent apology.

"Yeah," Steve breathed out. "With Robin Buckley. From band?"

"I know Robin. She used to come to my shows before she moved."

"Small world."

Eddie snorted. "Just Hawkins." Eddie sat up, pulling Steve with him. "You know, the guys in my band have been considering moving to Chicago. Think it's a good place for a metal band?"

Steve searched his face for any clues as to what he was really asking. Certainly he didn't expect Steve to know if a metal band would feel at home somewhere.

"I…guess?" Steve answered.

"I'll just text Robin," Eddie wiped his hand on the sheets and reached over to the bedside table to grab his phone.

"Wait. You keep in touch with Robin?" Steve felt like he was being pranked.

"Not as much as I should, but yeah. We caught up last time she visited her parents." Eddie typed on his phone for a moment, then looked up at Steve with a smirk. "Problem with that?"

"No, I'm just kinda shocked she's never really mentioned it." Steve stood up with shaking legs. "I should probably grab a shower and go."

"You normally a runner?" Eddie asked, amused.

"No? Why do you ask?"

"It's just the second time you've been rushing to leave. Thought I told you I wanted you here."

Steve knew what he wanted, and he knew it was too much, too fast, too ridiculous for Eddie to even consider it.

But maybe, if he played his cards right, maybe he could have Eddie for more than today.

"Shower with me?" Steve settled on, pouting his bottom lip out.

"And then?" Eddie pushed.

Steve didn't know what to do, but he knew what he wanted.

"And then we'll go back to the diner and actually eat something together." Eddie nodded, encouraging him to continue. "And then you give me your number."

"For?"

"Planning our next date."

[writers-hes]

Sydney Saw it First (c. berzatto x reader)

You’re Carmy’s friend from Noma and he asks tou to mentor Marcus before he heads to Copenhagen to stage. Sydney thinks you’re both fools in love and she’s determined to fix it. (fluff, sydney being the best wingman, inspired by the scene in new girl when nick points his shoes to jess, two fools in love)

navigation | main master lists

It was hard for anyone to read if the Carmen Berzatto cared.

Some days, he was loving but most days he was tenacious. It’s not like he meant it. It was just how he was wired; how he reacts to things. The crew learned that the hard way, when he exploded on Marcus, when he screamed at Sydney…when the stress gets to him, it really gets to him.

He’s imposed penance on himself for his actions, secluding himself from the world…being unreachable. If there was one thing in the world that he craved and that he was afraid of, it was love. So he secludes himself until he feels alone. Relationships were unnatural to him.

But it came naturally with you.

You were training to become a pastry chef at Noma when Carmy was there. You met each other at the halls, shared friends that it was inevitable for you two to become friends. He was your first taste tester when you first made croissants. He helped you make your own sourdough starter for the sourdough cookies that you were experimenting on. You were the first person whom he cooked his mom’s picatta. You were his sous chef, helping him prep the vegetables on important dates. When news arrived detailing Mikey’s death, you were the first person he called. 

You two were great. You were great.

If anyone deserved praise, Carmy thought that it was you.

He didn’t know why but when he saw that Marcus was really interested in pastry, he called you; asked you to come and teach a really, really eager student that was going to stage in Copenhagen soon. Sydney also suggested that sweets are needed in a restaurant. You didn’t hesitate to board the plane upon his request. If anything, you were glad that he was finally asking you for a favor. It only meant that he was still—if not more—comfortable with you. 

You arrived in Chicago all smiles, and greetings. It was Richie and Carmy who picked you up from the airport and Richi was floored. How did his cousin even manage to tolerate you? He didn’t hate you immediately, of course. In any case, Carmy told you about his little girl; you decided to bring her a little gift. 

“I didn’t know what to get you but Carmy said that you have a daughter so I got this instead,” you said, extending a toy. “My niece has the same one…so, I figured…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie nodded. He muttered a small ‘thanks’ before helping you with you luggage. 

The night before, Carmy instructed everyone during family to behave. 

“Look, there will be no funny business, alright? My friend is flying in tomorrow to oversee Marcus and act as his mentor while we fix the Bear. No taking her knife away, no screaming, no fighting, no fucking anything, alright, chefs?” he asked. When he was met with silence, “Alright, Chefs?”

A couple of ‘heards’ were thrown. 

“Who is this friend, anyway, Jeff?” Tina asked. “You didn’t tell us to behave when Sydney over here first came,”

“Someone from Copenhagen. She, uh—“

“She?” Sweeps asked, his eyebrows raised in anticipation. “You got a girl, chef?”

“No,” he replied. “She studied in Copenhagen as a pastry chef, okay? No big deal—“ he proceeds to mention your name and how you’re just really super cool. “No big deal—“

“Wait, Chef, that’s a big deal!” Marcus said. “Oh, you know her recipes are all over my station, right?” he asked. “Sydney—“

“I went to the place she worked at in New York after I graduated. Everything’s just so…good. Amazing,” she recalled. “So, yes, it’s a big deal,”

“Yeah, whatever. Just promise me to behave, alright?” Carmy asked. “She’ll have to make do with what we currently have but I’ll try to stock up and set up the station before she arrives tomorrow.” 

-

You arrived at the Beef—er, the Bear a day after your arrival in Chicago. You were able to find a place that was near the city center for a good deal. You were here indefinitely, still trying to figure out if you wanted to run your own bakery or just work with others for the rest of your life. Seeing Carmy take the leap was insipiring. 

“Hello, chefs, I’m Y/N,” you said, a friendly smile gracing your features. Carmy was right beside you, watching everyone. “I’m a pastry chef and I graduated with Carmy in Copenhagen. I’m here to mentor Marcus but of course, if you have any questions regarding anything, you can ask me. I know how to cook too…and uh, I’ll be taking care of family tonight,”

Carmy jerks from his relaxed position. 

“You sure?” he asks softly. “I can take care of family, if you’re too tired.”

“Yeah. It’s like initiation,” you nod, looking at him and then looking back at the new faces in front of you again. “Do you have any questions…”

Sydney raises her hand. 

“Um, I’m sorry if this comes across rude but why are you here?” she asked.

“Oh, well, I’m not really tied down to anything right now. When Carmy called me, asking if I could come here, I decided to go. I’m here in Chicago indefinitely and I’ve been receiving invitations to cook, teach a class, whatever. I might accept some of those,” you said. Sydned nodded. Damn, Noma’s chefs were being chased from left and right. She was in the presence of two. 

“Do you have a little notebook?” Tina asked, making Sydney scofd. “With recipes?”

“Um, no,” you shook your head. “I keep all my notes in my head and then write it afterwards,” Tina liked you already. 

“What do you think about Carmen Berzatto—“

“Anyway, that’s all, Chefs! Marcus, come to the office with me, chef,” Carmy said, breaking up the huddle, and making you laugh. He discreetly pulls down your shirt, a sign that you should follow him too to the office. When you were both out of earshot, Sydney asked no one in particular.

“That girl and Chef? There’s something,”

That afternoon, during family, Sydney watched the two of you like a hawk. Confirming her suspicions when Carmy stayed for family and sat beside you.

-

Sydney notices it for the second time. You were going over the Noma “picture book” with Marcus, telling him how some of the desserts came about.

“What’s this?” Marcus asked, pointing at a photo of the dessert that put you on the map. 

“That’s a dish of candied hallabong peel, with a prosecco peach sorbet, on a bed of meringue, topped with candied cherries. I got it because some of my friends went to Jeju sometime and brought back this orange hybrid. I think….I think we can recreate it but it wouldn’t be the same without the orange.”

“What about the flesh and the juice?”

“I turned it into like an orange-chocolate cake with chocolate mousse,”

Carmy was just passing by but he decided to watch you interact with his employees instead. 

“Anyways, where’s your chocolate cake? Let’s taste it and compare it from the last one. Also, I can send you my recipe for sourdough doughnuts. Just give me your email,” you said, looking up briefly to find Carmy already looking at you. It made him feel good to see you incorporate yourself so well in the kitchen. Well, it’s not like the Bear is open but his staff went to you for some tips and advice. They were all undergoing some sort of training to make everything more elevated. “Hey, Carm. Do you need anything?” 

“Hey-hey,” he coughed, ashamed for being caught. “Nothing. Uh—“

“Chef, did you ever try Y/N’s stuff?” Marcus asked. He’d really, really, really want to taste something that you made someday. They were all delicate and so detailed. It’s probably why you got multiple awards at such a young age.

“I did. She used to bring big Tupperware containers of things they made in the kitchen,” 

“He finished them all,” you told Marcus. “Wouldn’t spare me a bite,”

“I don’t know, bug,” he teased. “I vividly remember you begging me to do it because you were so sick of fucking croissants.”

“You’re so annoying,” you huffed, a playful smile on your face. “Go on now. Marcus and I have stuff to do and you’re distracting us.”

“In my own restaurant,” Carmy mutters, shaking his head. Sydney’s eyes immediately directed to Tina. Did you see? Did you hear the word ‘Bug’?. Tina only shrugged. 

-

Sugar dropped in to check on the improvements being done at the Bear  when she saw you and Carmen at the back, talking. She had to double take what she saw because it was quite…odd to see him talk to you with the same twinkle he used to have. She has never seen him like this. He was genuinely laughing at some of the things that you were saying, a shared plate of leftover chocolate cake between the two of you. 

“Who’s the girl outside?” Sugar asked, looking at Richie and Sydney for answers. 

“Some fancy pastry chef Carmy met in Copenhagen,” Richie replied. “It’s a whole bet now, you know? They’re always out in their own world ever since she got here,”

“Everyone puts in 10 to predict what’s going to happen,” Tina said. “You’re betting?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sugar says, giving a bill to Tina. “I bet…I bet they’ll fall in love right before she leaves Chicago. Like, on the way to the airport. Carmy’s going to tell her that he loves her and she stays,”

Laughter echoes in the room. 

“This is not some fucking movie, cousin,” Richie said. “Obviously, Carmy’s not gonna do shit about it.”

“I think…she’ll call him over and they’ll share a moment,” Marcus said. “He’s always at her place, did you know that?”

Meanwhile, unaware of the ongoing bet, Carmy looks at you.

“What do you think about Chicago?” he asked, a cigarette hanging idly on his fingers. 

“It’s nice…chilly,” you said. “But it’s nice. I’ve been offered jobs here, you know?”

“Hm?” he asked. “Are you planning to take them?”

“I’m…thinking about them. They’re all the same but like, I want my own bakery, you know? My own place.” you said. “It’s going to be a lot of work if I do that and I don’t necessarily have the staff to do all that.” you said. 

“If you want…you can come stay with us if you’re not sure,” he offers. “Like a pastry chef. Actually, I’ll have to ask Sugar and Sydney if it’s alright with them but you can stay here,”

“Bear, I don’t want to impose—“

Sydney was walking outside to throw the trash but she stopped her trackes when she heard you talk. 

“I want you here,” Carmy said with conviction. “But if you don’t-don’t like it here in Chicago, I wouldn’t mind either, you know? It’s just that…I want you here and-and fuck, I don’t know. I guess working with you made it so much more fun again, you know? Like us in Copenhagen. I mean, we’re always a team and-and it’s nice to have you here with me. Sugar and spice? Sweet and spicy or whatever the fuck they called us back then,” he chuckled, inhaling his cigarette to calm himself down. “We can make it work,”

“Yeah, yeah. You go talk about it to Nat and Syd,” you said, taking a swig of your water. “And then we’ll talk. Cool?”

“Cool,” he shrugged. Sydney leaves and goes back to where the commotion was. 

“I change my scenario,” she said. 

“You can’t do that, Sydney,” Richie said. “It’s a bet! You have to pay again,”

Sydney breathed, what was ten more, right? Fuck. 

“Fuck, sure, okay. Whatever,” she said, giving Richie the bill. “She’ll stay here. She’ll realize the there’s nothing waiting for her back home and she’ll stay here,”

“Where did you get this?” Fak asked. “Quite—oh my God. Sydney, did you fucking cheat?” 

“No, I didn’t fucking cheat!” she defended, it was a lie. “Can’t you see the two of them? Always in their own world? How would Carmy let her go?”

“Jeffrey has a point,” Tina shrugged. “But if she loses, just know that you lost twice, Jeff,”

“I know,” 

-

You, Sydney, and Carm all went to his apartment. It was where the two of them made a menu while you acted as a consultant and a taste tester. Their palates were fucked and they didn’t know what to do or what to cook anymore. So they asked you. But you weren’t there today. You and Marcus were in your apartment, making up stuff for dessert. The Beef has officially closed down and is a rubbled mess. There was no space and Carmy just wanted to be there with you.

“Can I ask you something and you can tell me to fuck off?” Sydney asked while she watched Carmy plate the hamachi crudo. 

“Hm?”

“Do you…have feelings for Y/N?” she asked, looking at Carmy. He blushed, his ears turning red for being caught.

“Is it obvious?”

“To everyone but her,” she shrugged.

“Fuck, really? I thought I was being discreet,”

“Oh, you can stay here! You’re so good and so smart and so pretty,” Sydney gushed, mocking Carmen.

“Fuck off,” he laughs. “I…I do,”

“Yeah?”

“I just…just…she’s uh, so amazing, and like, I’ve been feeling these feelings since…since Copenhagen,” he mumbles, finishing the garnish with an oil. 

“Damn. You never made a move?” she asked, getting forks. She gives one to Carmen and they both taste the crudo. It was amazing. “That’s good,”

“It is. Good job, Syd,” Carmy replied.

“It was her who told me to try adding jalapeno slices,” Syd said. 

“You can’t do that,” Carmy warned her. Why did she want to get you two together so bad? “But I haven’t done anything. I mean, like, she was dating these guys and they’re so cool that-that it was never really my turn,” he remembered.

“But you’re the best chef in the world! That trumps that,” she encouraged. “None of them worked out?”

“No,” Carmy shook his head. “She’d always end things and I don’t want that for myself. She told me none of them worked out…wasn’t what she was, uh, looking for?”

“Oh,” Sydney nodded. “Well, if you’re feeling brave enough…”

“I haven’t been having…fun,” Carmy acknowledges. “With the Beef and the Bear until she got here, you know? Made me feel like I was young in Copenhagen again,”

“Another question. You can say fuck off if you want,” Sydney says and watches as Carmy bites a smile. “The last one. Is that why you asked her to stay? It’s just that I heard you the other day and…”

“Fuck off,” he laughs but Sydney noticed how everything about him conveyed everything that she needed to know. 

-

“This is a quenelle,” you told Marcus. You, Marcus, Carm, and Sydney were at your apartment. It was bigger than Carmy’s and your oven didn’t have jeans in them. “This took me at least a hundred tries,” you chuckled. “You just…away, back, and then hands…” You demonstrated, making a quenelle of a yuzu mousse.

“Damn, Chef. How’d you do that?” Marcus asked, trying it for himself. He failed, his quenelle being a little bit smaller than yours. 

“I had a friend named Luca. He didn’t let me out of the kitchen until I made a perfect one,” you recalled. “Carmy was there and he was laughing at me. He could do it in like three tries and I remember hating him,”

“You hate me?” he asked, leaning on the countertop. He didn’t like to hear about Luca. He only wanted you to talk about the two of you.

“Hey, Bear. Try this?” you asked, spooning him the raspberry curd. Carmy opens his mouth and you walk over, feeding him the pinkish liquid and then watching his face. “It goes with a black sesame shell. Do you like it?”

He notices your close proximity and flushes.

“Y-yeah,” he coughed, looking away. “Really good. Uh, very good,”

“No notes?” you asked and he swore he could kiss you right there because you were so beautiful.

“No notes,”

“Thanks, Chef,” you said. Sydney whistles as you help Marcus master his quenelle. Carmy looks at her and she teases him with a mockery of what he just said.

Carmy and Marcus left after cleaning up. You and Sydney decided to have a girl’s night. You were both sitting on the couch, mud masks on your faces when she turned to you fully.

“You know, he likes you right?”

“Who?” you asked, trying to fit a handful of chips.

“Carmy,” you heard and you choked on the bits of chips in your mouth. 

“Fuck!” you choked. “Sydney!” You were coughing while Sydney handed you a glass of vodka cranberry. You gulp it down. “You—can’t say shit like that!”

“What?” she laughed. “Look, I’m not kidding! Whenever he talks to you, his feet are pointed at you. I’ve read enough fucking books and body language shit to know that he’s interested,”

“I don’t think so,” you said. “That’s bullshit,”

“It’s not though,” she shrugged. “He asked you to stay for a reason,”

“He needs a pastry chef,” you shrugged. “Besides, he and I are friends, Sydney. I’ve been trying to get him jealous all my time in Copenhagen but he never…he never got the signal,”

“Oh,” Sydney nods. Two idiots in love. “Have you ever tried telling him?”

“Of course not! He’s always on about how he doesn’t have the energy to love or date. I tried the jealousy thing before but it never worked. Trust me, there’s nothing.”

-

Carmy arrives at your doorstep the next morning, bright and early. Sydney had already left, telling you something about stopping by at her dad’s apartment to get stuff. You were going to the Bear with him to help Sydney choose plates for the restaurant. 

“Good morning,” he greets. Two cups of take-out coffee in his hands. “I got us some coffee while we walk on the way,”

“Thank you,” You took the cup from his hands and clutched your jacket tighter. It was so, so, so cold. “Didn’t know it was going to be this chilly today,”

“You wanna wear my jacket?”

“You’ll be cold,”

“It doesn’t bother me,” he said, already taking off the jacket to the best of his one-handed ability. He was only wearing a gray sweater underneath. “I have something. See?” He doesn’t take no for an answer, taking your coffee and your bag from you so you could wear the colorful jacket.

“Thanks, Bear,” you said, smiling at him. The sight of you in his clothes does something to him and he couldn’t help except give you a slight nod before forging on in the chilly Chicago weather. 

You both entered the Beef giggling amongst yourselves when the usual buzzing stopped.

“Remember when Luca—“

You halted, finding the silence odd. You looked around to see everyone looking at you.

“What’s wrong? Is something wrong?” Carmy asked, removing his hand from the small of your back. “Syd—“

“Love the sweater,” Richie teases. You look down and feel the warmth on your cheeks. 

“It was cold and he asked me to wear it,” you shrugged, leaving Carmen to deal with the staff out front. You were signalling Sydney for help but she only looked away. Traitor. “Um—“

“Y/N, if you could please help me out here,” Carmy called you. 

“Your boyfriend’s calling,”

“He’s not!” you huffed before walking over. “What is it?”

“I need you to time me, is that okay?” he asked. He nodded towards the stopwatch and you complied. “Thank you. I just need to check or like, map out the kitchen you know?”

“Of course,” you replied. 

“Do you need help getting on—“

“It’s okay it’s just an old thing,” you replied.

“Yo, cousin! If you’re done eye fucking, Sugar needs you.” Richie calls.

“We’re not eye-eye fucking!” you complained. “What the fuck?” You stood up from your corner before you could even work and accidentally looked down. If a man is interested his feet will—

You move to the side and Carmy follows. And then to the side again. 

“Y/N–“

“Stay there,” you asked, walking around him and him turning around. “Carm!”

“What?” he asked, grasping your shoulders. He looks down to his shoes. “Are my shoes dirty?”

“No, it’s just—“ you tried again but Carm still followed. “Sydney told me about like, how when a guy is, uh,”

“Cousin!”

“Fuck, okay. Let’s talk about it later okay? Once everyone’s out?” he asked, looking at you. “Can we do that?” His jacket felt softer on you than it ever did on him.

“Yea-yeah,” you nodded. “I’ll go help Sydney,”

The afternoon passed by and you were alone at The Bear. You waited for Carmen to finish up at the dining area like you promised. Your heart was beating so fast, maybe a thousand miles an hour. What Sydney said has been on your mind and what if it wasn’t true and you get embarrassed? Fuck, could you even handle that?

You sighed, burying your head between your hands when Carmy walks over to you. 

“What’s up?” he asked. “Everything alright?”

“Y-yeah,” you nod. “Can you stay there and just, I don’t know, be Carmy?” you asked, standing up to test the theory again. He just stands there, dumbfounded. You circle around him and he follows. You were looking on the ground. 

“Fuck, what the fuck?” he asked. “Is there something wrong with my shoes? I know they’re old and not—“

“Carmen, shh,”

“What?” he asked, grasping your shoulders for the second time that day to steady you. “What’s wrong?”

“Fuck, I don’t—“

“What’s wrong?”

“Sydney told me that there’s like, this body language thing and like, uh, says that when a guy is interested his shoes are always pointing at you and well, she told me to look at yours,” you rambled, looking away in embarrassment. “Look, if this will be weird between the two of us, I mean—“

“Why would it matter?” he asked, hands inching closer to your neck. He was nervous but maybe this is the opening that he’s been waiting for for years. When you didn’t reply, he asked again. “Why would it matter?”

“Because…because I’ve been trying to make you jealous for years in Copenhagen and it never worked,” you whispered. You were embarrassed. It felt like you were in high school telling your crush that you liked him. “I know you don’t see me that way,” you replied, trying to look for the right words. Carmy lets you finish. He wanted to hear you. “And it’s fine. If this is stupid, let’s forget that this ever happened. Okay? God, I’m so fucking embarrassed right now,” 

“Hey, hey,” he cooes, his thumb tucked the hair back and then caressed your cheek. “Whoever said that I wasn’t jealous? I had to leave all the time because I was so fucking jealous. Those guys were cool. Don’t-don’t be embarrassed, okay? I like hearing that-you, uh, like me,”

“Carmy…don’t lie to me, okay? You don’t have to pretend—hm,” 

Carmy had just kissed you. Carmen Berzatto just kissed you. You were clutching on his shirt so tightly, afraid that if he lets go, he’ll be gone. But he doesn’t. He just trails his hands down to your back, touching skin to skin until you’re one. 

“I’ve been waiting years to do that,” Carmy rasps, breathing heavily. 

“Yeah? Then, do it again,” you whispered, smirking slightly at how he seemed to blush hard. Before you could tease him though, he tucks your hair back again, bringing your lips closer to his.

He did.

A/N: Thank you for giving my recent fics so much love and for being so motivating. Your kind words really make my day and I hope that you love this too. Don’t forget to reblog and comment! Thanks again!

TAGLIST: @kpopgirlbtssvt

[lilacheavenxo]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 ➸ 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨

summary: carmen's girlfriend gets a job offer too good to pass up, he doesn't want her to take it. word count: warnings: angst, hurt (minimal comfort), misogyny, swearing, toxicity, timeline is sketchy, third person, unnamed ofc (she's a blank slate), light sexual content

The sound of the faucet dripping in the kitchen was the only sound coming from the otherwise silent apartment.

It was always silent nowadays.

She sat in the living room, wringing her hands together nervously as she fought the urge to re-read the email on her cellphone, which had been tossed on the coffee table in a haste.

The email bore good news. She had been waiting for an offer like that for most of her adult life—finally, an opportunity to do what she loved and be paid for it.

She had been a musician for as long as she could remember. Her dad had bought her a guitar for her ninth birthday, and from that moment, she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. She had spent her college fund on moving to New York, a dream of making it big clouding any smidge of rationality an eighteen-year-old could possess.

It hadn't worked out the way she wanted, and she was forced to move back to Chicago without a dollar to her name. Living with her parents and waiting tables for a living, she would play gigs in dive bars whenever she got the chance - a pathetic reminder of her failure.

It hadn't been all bad. One of those dive bar gigs was how she met Carmen Berzatto, at least.

He had walked into the bar halfway through her set, and, despite the white light in her eyes, she noticed him immediately. He was trying to blend in, his shoulders slumped as he made his way to the bar, hanging his head down as soon as he had ordered his drink, but she still saw him.

He had complimented her when her set ended and she slid onto the barstool next to his.

"You have a nice voice."

Everything following that night had happened quickly - too quickly.

They were friends first. He would come into the bar whenever he could, maybe stop at the diner where she worked on his way to work, and she would meet him at his restaurant when everybody had left, sitting on his work station, watching him sweep the floor.

Nothing had happened between them until after she had moved in with him. He had offered her his spare room after she finished another rant about how pathetic it was to live with her parents at her age.

She had only slept in the spare room for one week.

She loved Carmen Berzatto, and she was sure he loved her too, though he never said it. She didn't take it personally; when he responded to her declarations with a smile or a kiss, she knew he was just scared.

"You make me happy," he would whisper to her in the quiet apartment when he returned home at an ungodly hour.

That was good enough for her.

The jingling of keys in the lock snapped her out of her thoughts. She sat up straighter on the couch, waiting until Carmen appeared in the living room, his head down and shoulders slumped.

"He jumped slightly when he spotted her on the couch, a dim lamp illuminating the living room.

"You're still up?" he asked, as he made his way to the couch and threw himself down next to her.

She hummed in response, moving closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around her shoulders.

"How was your day?" she mumbled, already knowing what his answer would be.

"Same as usual. Fuckin' bullshit."

"Wanna talk about it?" She knew the answer to that one, too.

"No."

"Wanna talk at all?" she asked, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. She rested her hand on the spot she had kissed, gently pulling his head down to meet her mouth with his. He sighed into the kiss, his arm moving from her shoulder to cup her neck. As he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into her mouth, he let out a laugh when she swung her legs over him, positioning herself to straddle him.

"You seem happy," he mumbled when she moved her lips to his neck, grazing her teeth against his adam's apple as her hands began to move lower, fliddling with the buckle of his belt.

"I got some good news today, feel like celebrating," she said.

"Oh yeah?" Carmen asked, a gasp escaping his lips when her hand moved to cup him through his jeans. "What news?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now, I wanna celebrate with you," he gently grabbed her arm, linking her hand in his. Her lips paused on his neck, and he could feel the smile creeping up on her face.

"Okay," she relented, lifting her head up to rest her forehead against his. "You remember Callum?"

Carmen frowned, trying to recall, but eventually shook his head and shrugged.

"Callum, Carmy," she said, eyes widening in disbelief when he shrugged again. "Callum! The guy I worked with in New York, he moved to Chicago last year and we played a gig together? He plays the guitar."

"Wait!" Carmen sat up straighter, and she held on to his shoulders as not to fall. "The creepy guy? The one that wouldn't leave you alone the whole night?"

"Creepy? What? No," she frowned. "Callum."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Creepy Callum, that's what we called him."

"We?"

"Me and Richie."

"Ugh," she groaned, sliding off his lap to sit beside him. "Callum isn't a creep, Carm. He's my friend."

"Anyone tell him that?"

She ignored him, wrapping arm arm around his shoulder, and resting her cheek against his. "You wanna hear my good news or not?"

"Sorry," Carmen sighed, leaning into her touch, and placing a hand on her knee. "Go on."

"Well," she tucked her legs under her thighs, leaning an elbow on the back of the couch to face him. "Callum's band have got this gig as a supporting artist for the US leg of this other guy's tour. He's not super famous or anything, but he's got a pretty big following, y'know?"

Carmen nodded, his eyes locked on hers, and he gestured for her to continue.

"Well," she said, rolling her eyes, "their lead singer left the band because of 'artistic differences' or whatever. And Callum has asked me to take her place! Can you believe it?" She squealed, grabbing his arm and shaking it slightly.

Carmen didn't respond, his body growing tense under touch, and the dazzling smile on her face slowly dropped at her boyfriend's silence.

"Carm?" she nudged him, lightly. "Isn't that great?"

"Yeah," he choked out, standing up from the couch and clearing his throat. "Yeah, congratulations, I guess."

He didn't look her in the eye as he headed towards the fire escape, muttering that he needed a smoke.

She didn't follow him.

An hour later, he climbed back through the window and sighed when he saw her still sitting on the couch, nervously chewing her thumbnail.

"We good, Carm?" she asked, her voice timid.

He ignored her question, leaning on the wall opposite the couch, and crossing his arms over his chest. "When?" he asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

"Uh, next month. It's short notice because of the other girl-"

"How long?"

"Like three months, there's only like two shows a week, maybe you could come and visit me-"

Carmen cut her off with a humourless laugh, sneering when he saw the confusion on her face.

"You're kidding, right?" he scoffed. "You know how busy I am. You think I can just drop everything to chase you around the fucking country?"

"No," she muttered. "No, of course not. I know how busy you are, Carmen." The bitterness in her tone was palpable.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she shrugged, standing up from the couch and trying to push past him, but he blocked her path.

"If you've got something to say, say it," he said in a menacing tone, and she rolled her eyes in response.

"I have nothing to say to you."

She tried to move past him again, but he blocked her with his arm once more, his eyes piercing into hers. They stayed in a silent starting competition for what felt like hours before she scoffed, shaking her head.

"It's funny," she said. "You work endless hours at the restaurant, coming home at God knows what hour, and I support you because I love you and believe in your dreams. But you can't seem to do the same for me."

He threw his head back as he laughed, it was a cruel laugh, and it pierced her heart.

"Your dream?" he sneered, and she shrinked back. "Your fuckin' dream? Lemme tell you about your dream, sweetheart - it's pathetic." She shook her head at his words, but it didn't deter him. "You're a grown fucking woman still singing dive bars in Chicago! What? You think a tour of every dive bar in America with a few washed up assholes will finally be your big break?" he shook his head at her, crossing his arms over his chest. "Grow up."

He turned on his heel to leave the room, not interested in what she had to say, pausing in the doorway when she called out to him.

"I'm going on that tour, Carm. I sing because I enjoy it, because it brings me happiness. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. Unlike you."

He left the room, and the apartment, without another word.

Carmen didn't go home until the following evening.

He had gone straight to the Bear after their fight, not really having any other option, and sat in the office with his head in his hands for longer than he'd like to admit, the events of the evening repeating in his brain like a stupid pop song you can never get out of your head.

He shouldn't have reacted like that, he knew it.

A better man would have congratulated her.

A better man would have told her how proud he was, and pushed any doubt to the back of his mind and let her have her moment.

A better man wouldn't have belittled her achievement because of his own abandonment issues.

But, Carmen Berzatto wasn't a better man. He wasn't even sure he was a good one.

He thought about his family, how even in their most fucked up moments, they were always proud of him. They had never tried to force him to stay in Chicago when he had a better offer elsewhere, how they never dismissed his talents just because they didn't want him to leave.

He thought about Mikey. He thought about how he wouldn't let him work at 'The Beef', how bad that felt, but how Mikey was doing it for his own good. His brother wanted him to achieve things, wanted him to go out in the world and not be tied down by some toxic arrangement that would never make him happy.

He thought about how he hadn't done any of that for her.

He had been selfish.

He had talked down to her, patronised her, all because she would be gone for three months.

Three fucking months.

He fucked up.

He arrived back to the apartment the next evening, a box of cannolis from a bakery she liked under one arm, a bouquet of her favourite flowers under the other.

He wasn't good at apologies, especially in a relationship, but it was the best he could think of, and all he could do was pray she forgave him. She probably would, she always forgave him - even when he didn't deserve it.

Carmen had planned his apology the whole way home. He would hand her the cannolis and flowers, and he would tell her how proud he was of her, how he didn't care if she was going to be gone for a year - that he'd support her no matter what.

The apartment was silent when he entered, and eerily still. He called out her name and there was no response, but he expected that - she was a fan of the silent treatment, after all.

He checked the bedroom after his eyes scanned the living area and kitchen, not finding her there. The bed was perfectly made, no sign she had slept in it last night, amd the bathroom door was ajar, no sign of life anywhere.

He threw the gifts he got her on the bed, wiping his hands over his face as he made his way back to the living room and taking a seat on the couch, trying not to jump to the worst conclusion.

He noticed the folded up piece of paper on the coffee table after he removed his hands from his face, her cursive writing causing a sickening feeling to swirl in his stomach.

He unfolded the paper slowly, as if his patience would somehow change the words she had written on it.

Carmen,

Callum said I can crash at his apartment until we go on tour - it'll be good to get some rehearsals in.

When I get back, I think it's best we don't see each other.

I hope you'll be able to find what truly makes you happy.

I love you.

He threw the note to the ground, running his hands through his hair.

He fucked up.

[ghouldump]

Hello! I just read your lestat x reader fanfic and I’m completely in love with it! Can you maybe do a part 2 with them still being together in 2024?

Anything For You II | Lestat De Lioncourt x Reader

ෆ you are back home and can’t wait to spend time with the love of your life.

omggg i feel so fuzzy inside knowing others enjoy my writing 🩷😋 this is short, but i think it’s a cute ending.

“You can sit them down here, thank you, honey,” you told your chauffeur, handing him a hundred-dollar bill.

“Thank you, Miss”

“No, thank you,” you winked, watching as the handsome man left, driving off in the SUV.

Unlocking the door, you placed your baby, Lena, a purebred Italian greyhound on the floor. She immediately ran towards the sound of the music, wagging her tail in excitement. You thought back to how disgusted Lestat was at the idea of having an animal. He was adamant that if you got this dog you’d be on your own taking care of her. Within a week, you caught him teaching her tricks and feeding her treats. She was 4 and you were hoping to have her mate, in hopes of having grand puppies.

Sitting your luggage by the stairs, you looked around, shaking your head at the lack of renovation that was supposed to happen while you were away. He hadn’t even taken down the photos like you asked, instead he put them back up. Seeing your wedding photo crooked, you couldn’t help but laugh. Housework was never his forte. Staring at the photo, you traced over his face, nearly a century of love and you were still head over heels. You were surprised when he even brought up the subject.

“Marriage?” You closed the novel, sitting it in your lap.

“Do you not want to marry me?” He asked, playfully tilting his head.

“I didn’t think vampires were into nuptials, or you-

“What can I say? Seven years later and I am not against the idea of being bound to someone legally, I also have looked into it and there are many positive aspects-

“You’ve been looking into this?” You couldn’t help but smile, as he slowly came down to his knees in front of you.

“Yes”

“How badly do you want this,” you asked him, your hand going to caress his cheek.

“As much as my thirst for blood,” he continued, his eyes softened as they focused on you.

“Ask me,” you told him, feeling your eyes tingling, you knew tears were soon to fall.

Biting his lip, he stared at you for a second, before pulling the ring from his pocket. You gasped, covering your mouth, as the blood ran down your face.

“Ma chèrie, please grant me the greatest honor to not only be my companion, but my wife. I love you now and I’ll love you forever, will you…marry me?” He asked.

“Of course,” you nodded, holding your hand out, squealing as he slid the ring onto your finger. The ring was timeless, beautifully made, and could catch the attention of everyone in a room with how large and nicely cut the diamond was.

You ended up having a tiny wedding, in the backyard of your home. Just the two of you, a marriage officiant, and a photographer. Shortly after your vows were exchanged, as your photo was taken. The photographer had plenty of vulgar thoughts when it came to you in the form-fitting dress. Regardless, the two ended up being your meals, before a night of passionate intimacy.

Hearing the familiar serenade, you entered the living room. Immediately, you smiled, Lestat sat at the piano, looking at the sheet music, his iPad propped up in front of him, annotations on a digital copy of the music. Crossing your arms, you watched as he was about to continue with the keys, but lifted his hands.

“Who’s your honey?” He asked, making you playfully roll your eyes. No matter how many people were invited into your home, Lestat became jealous if you were too kind to another person for too long.

“Don’t start, you know who has my heart,” you told him, walking over. He immediately opened his arms for you to sit on his lap.

“I missed you, ma chèrie,” he told you, making you loudly coo.

“Awe, I missed you more, you should’ve come, Chicago was fun,” you told him, as he kissed your hand.

“I’d rather not,” he pouted like a child. He knew he’d end up wandering around alone, and while he had no problem doing so - the city held no interest to him. You were there for work, since the late 80s, you had been a real estate agent. At first a small hobby, you eventually expanded, leaving Louisiana for more land in different states. Over the years you made enough money to last for generations. After being home with him for Mardi Gras, enjoying the parades together, the people, and selling to a few tourists - you had been gone for nearly two months.

“You’re so cute,” you laughed, pecking his lips.

“Cute is more…adolescent,” he rolled his eyes, huffing as you stood up.

“Lena, come,” he turned around, as the dog jumped into his lap.

“Why didn’t you let the construction workers come to renovate?” You asked him, going to sit on the couch. He didn’t pay you much mind, more focused on rubbing the dog.

“They all use cheap material and will make it look all modern”

“This company is good, I swear, we need this, the walls are peeling, for god's sake,” you pointed out.

“It gives the house character,” he shrugged.

“Lestat,” you stared at him with a straight face, while he smirked.

“Why did you take down our wedding photo?” He raised an eyebrow.

“All of the pictures need to be taken down, and the coffins put away, for the renovation. I’d prefer to not have to wipe anyone’s memory because they’re wondering why there is a wedding photo of us in the 30s”

“It could simply be a black and white photo, you don’t look a day over 20, as ethereal as you’ve always been,” he complimented, his eyes quickly traveling from head to toe, enjoying your outfit. You always managed to keep up with time, blending in with society. You even learned how to use a smartphone and were sometimes active on social media. Lestat on the other hand, was stuck in his ways, still dressing as lively as he always did, in a nice suit.

In certain areas, he showed his age, not liking a lot of modern music, casual clothing, or how to use technology. All he had was his iPad, like a child, took it everywhere with him, only your contact saved inside. He still struggled to text or FaceTime you, but it was his go-to when the two of you were apart.

“So, how’s the music going?” You changed the subject.

“I will be going on tour soon,” he said, smiling as you clapped in excitement.

“I can’t wait, you’re going to be amazing,” you praised him.

Lestat had always been gifted when it came to music, regularly writing his music to play for you on evenings when you had nothing to do. It wasn’t until he made his first song, for you personally, that you pestered him about publishing it. Now over 50 years after that moment, he released a song, and while it was under his name, his face was completely anonymous. Although it wasn’t for the reason you’d think.

Your social media had been growing, as you publicized your company. Vampires immediately began to recognize you, questioning if you were trying to reveal to the world what you were. They spoke from all over day and night about harming you, when Lestat released the song, taking the attention off of you. They were too afraid of him to boldly do anything, and you being his companion, automatically were protected. You didn’t agree with his decision, but after weeks of dealing with his stubbornness, you accepted the choice he made.

No one knew the face behind the hypnotizing voice, and you were certain they would be falling to their knees as they saw his beautiful face.

“Are you nervous?” You asked as he kept a poker face.

“Of course,” he grinned playfully.

“You’re going to kill it, just hearing them all screaming your name, I can’t wait,” you told him, watching as he sat Lena down, standing to approach you.

“Will you…scream my name”

“Always,” you leaned back, crossing your legs as he moved next to you, his fingertips softly dragging down your leg.

“Then I won’t be nervous”

“There will be groupies…men and women,” you started.

“I won’t invite anyone into our bed you don’t want there,” he shook his head, as you moved to peck his lips.

“I know you will be a superstar, everything about you is remarkable, I love you”

“Anymore praise and I might get an airhead,” he laughed.

“I love you more,” he continued.

“And what about the others, I trust you can protect yourself perfectly, but what if they try to-

“None of them are bold enough to try and if they are then they are asking to see their final death. I won’t let anyone harm you, all because you wanted to share your beautiful pictures with the world,” he told you, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you close.

“Thank you, I couldn’t be more grateful for you as a companion and husband,” you nuzzled your face in his robe.

“Anything for you, ma chèrie”

[sweetbans29]

Power Couple Part 2 - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin get to support each other at the Olympics (based on THIS request)

Warnings: I actually don't think there is any, fluff

Word Count: 2.8k

Power Couple

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: Another cute one here for ya!

Time passed faster than either of you knew it could. Both you and Caitlin were named Rookie of the Year, you in the WNSL, and Cait in the WNBA.

Since then, the two of you have found two houses when you originally thought it would have only been one. A nice townhome in Chigaco and a neighborhood home in Indiana. Where you lived depended on who was in season. Both of your managers were very supportive of the two of you and would help organize your off-season life around where you would be. It would still require travel but your home base was still with each other.

Since that initial conversation about marriage, the two of you talked about it a little more. Most of it was just talk about what life would be like after the two of you are married but you have yet to see a ring. It was nice that it wasn't something that either of you needed right away to solidify your relationship. The two of you had been through so much already that you knew the other was stuck but in the best way.

Caitlin ended up proposing about halfway through your next season - all thanks to your manager. He was able to help her set it up without you having any idea it was coming - and you were thankful it wasn't on any sort of public platform.

The two of you actually ended up having a really small wedding in the back of her parent's house with just your immediate families. It was perfect and could not have been fitted better for the two of you. Of course, you had a celebration with both of your teams after your honeymoon which just turned into one giant party.

You surprised Caitlin with a golden retriever on her 24th birthday. It had taken you a little longer than you had hoped to get a dog but trying to navigate life through rookie season and what the W looked like for both of you was too much to add another character into the mix. But when things began to feel more of a routine, you knew it was time to add to your family.

You had planned the whole day for the two of you. Starting with a brunch with her team then off to a few more little things that the two of you enjoyed, eventually making your way back to Chicago. The night ended at a rooftop bar overlooking the water. At the end of dinner, the two of you sat there talking about life, reminiscing on all of your favorite memories.

"Thank you for today, babe," Caitlin says. The two of you are sitting with your chairs next to one another, looking out at the way the Chicago lights hit the lake.

You hum and look down at your watch - a gift from Caitlin for your birthday last year.

"How would you feel about a little walk along the water before turning in for the night?" You ask.

"That sounds perfect." She says as the two of you head from the restaurant.

The two of you walk hand in hand along the water. Something begins to approach you. You are intently watching Caitlin as the little figure makes its way towards you.

You hear Caitlin gasp and bend down. The puppy runs right up to her.

"Look at you! Where did you come from?" Caitlin is talking to the overly excited pup who just wants to cover her with kisses.

"How peculiar..." you say letting your girl take in the moment.

"Who do you belong to little one?" Caitlin asks, laughing at the puppy who is starting to settle down.

"Why don't you take a look at its collar?" You say, Caitlin just now noticing the collar around the dogs neck.

She took a second to orient it so she could read it. The second she does, her face shoots up to look at you.

"You did not." She says in complete disbelief. A smiling beaming on her face.

"I did not what?" You ask, pretending to be clueless as to what she could be talking about.

"You did not get me a puppy for my birthday." She says picking up the puppy.

"Why wouldn't I?" You say as you come over and pet the little one. The puppy gets excited again picking up a familiar smell.

"He is all ours," you say as you kiss the puppy's head and it licks your face.

Welcoming a pup into your life was an easy transition. Your favorite thing became seeing Caitlin curled up on the couch with the pup. They would often nap together and you would always snap a picture. On the flip side, Calitin would always find you in your yard kicking around a soccer ball with the little one (who was not so little anymore). She would always take videos of you scoring on your furbaby and running around the yard celebrating with your pup closely behind, jumping up and down just as excited as you were.

The next year or so was one of the best years for the two of you both professionally. It's also the year that the two of you get to see each other the most.

The Fever is on the uprise as they are looking to head to playoffs. It will be Cait's second time going to playoffs with this team. Last year was their first, getting knocked out in the second round. Watching them struggle to get their footing during Caitlin's rookie year to seeing them dominate on the court now has been a testament to the work Cait and the team have put in. It was also an amazing accomplishment for your girl to get Rookie of the Year and then MVP in her second year. As much as people wanted it to be in the same year - that was never Cait's expectation for herself. She just kept pushing to become better. You saw it, the team saw it and the world saw it. Not only that - but the expansion of the W that came with the up-rise of support is a continuous reminder of the effect that your girl has had and continues to have.

Your team has also benefitted from the rise in women's sports. It was neat to see the influx of fans in women's soccer in the US. It started with your team in Chicago. The spike happened drastically as Caitlin began attending your games - part of you felt like your manager had some sort of political agenda when he began talking to Cait but soon saw the genuine friendship that built between the two. The fanbase grew, not as much as women's basketball, but grew enough to have a few team additions to the US over the years.

Now the two of you are headed to the 2028 Olympics being held in CA. The last time the Olympics were held in Los Angeles was in 1984 (which is just over 50 years from when the Olympics were first in LA in 1932).

When teams were announced, it came as no surprise to either of you. Both of you were at the 2024 Olympics but on the second-string team - not getting much playing time. This year would be different, this year both of you were going as the face of your sports. Both of your teams had an all-star line knowing gold was within reach.

Being at the open ceremony and walking out to represent the USA while the Olympics were being held here was an experience you know would never be matched. It would never top the first time the two of you represented the USA but this would be a special one.

The two of you are standing next to each other the whole time, your respective teams close by. One thing that your relationship has opened the door to is relationships with the girls in your sports. Often times when Caitlin would come to support your games, she would bring a few teammates along and they would hang with the team after. You did the same with your teammates. Your two teams just naturally became one big family. It was nice to see that happen even within the USWNT and USAWBB teams. There was much less time acclimating but your two teams bonded thanks to your relationship.

It was the next morning when the media took to pointing out the two of you in LA together.

Looking through your feed - everything is about the Olympics. What catches your eye is a picture of you and Caitlin standing next to each other, both of your hands behind your backs looking up at what was happening in the opening ceremony. You scroll through to then see some photos of you exploring LA, one at the beach and one with the two of you shopping. They were all cute photos and you lean over to Caitlin who is scrolling on her phone.

"The first one is my favorite," you say as she takes a look at the photos.

"They are all my favorites," she says examining each photo. "But ya, that first one is fire."

She hands your phone back to you and sets her phone down turning to face you.

"How are you feeling about game 1?" She asks.

"I am feeling pretty good. Excited mostly. I am ready," you say as you take one of her hands into yours. "You?"

"I am ready." She says. "I feel more ready than I ever have." Her fingers now playing with yours.

You each have your own rooms but opted to stay in one, only using the second if really necessary - which neither of you foresaw needing.

Caitlin was the first to play out of the two of you. It was funny that you were always more nervous for her to play than she was and vice versa. When she was on the court - there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she didn't belong there and her lack of nerves came from her confidence in her ability and love. For you, it was growing up on the field - knowing who you are on the field never affected who you were off the field.

The way the Olympics set it up this year was better than the last time. There were special box seats for other athletes to come watch - not needing to hide or get bombarded by fans. Although you always made a point to go sign some autographs and take photos with those who have traveled to come and see you.

You brought some of your team along to watch Caitlin's team.

The level of play was so much fun to watch. You were cheering on Cait and the other women so much that one of your teammates had to tell you multiple times to calm down so you wouldn't lose your voice the following day.

They are down in the first two quarters but make a comeback in the third. The fourth was just a battle of who wanted it more.

The US took home the first win and could not be more proud of Caitlin and her team.

After the game, you ran up to her, crashing right into her.

"Watching you on the court will never get old," you say to her.

She lets out a laugh.

"I sure hope not babe, because I am nowhere near done." She says. "That one was too close for comfort for me."

"You were all adjusting and seeing what it's like to play on this sort of stage - the next one will be even better," you say letting her go.

The girls on your team all congratulate Caitlin and her team. They all begin talking about how they are stoked to come to watch your team play for the first time tomorrow.

As you all walk out - Caitlin makes time to sign some autographs and talk so some of the young girls who came out to watch them play.

You are pulled to the side by someone from ESPN and they ask if they can ask you a few questions. You nod saying you have time for one or two. This wasn't the first interview you had since coming to LA but you knew it would be the first one where you were going to get asked about your girl.

"How does it feel getting to be here not just playing for your country but watching Caitlin also represent the USA?" The reporter asks.

"It is almost surreal." You say. "I mean it is one thing to be here to represent our country but brings it to a whole new level getting to be here to support Caitlin. I could not be more proud of her."

"She was incredible in the US's first game against Japan. She really led the team well today." The reporter says and continues. "There has already been a handful of photos going around of you and Caitlin at the opening ceremony and out and about in LA. The two of you were named the W power couple during both of your rookie years and now you are here at the Olympics. Can we expect you two to now be the US Olympic power couple?"

You laugh at the question. It still is crazy to you how much attention your relationship has gotten even after all these years.

"It has been fun seeing how much the media loves our relationship," you say in a fun manner. "I mean at the end of the day I will be there to support Caitlin whenever possible and I know she would do the same. It is something really special that we are both here representing our country and being able to support one another on this platform is one that neither of us will ever forget. It is always nice to have your biggest fan with you as you take on the world in your sport."

"Well, we look forward to seeing Caitlin cheer you on tomorrow as you take on Zambia." They say and you thank them, making your way back to Caitlin.

Over the next few days, you and Caitlin switch off going to watch each other play gaining another huge following of people bringing back the nickname 'US power couple'. On the days the two of you didn't have games, you both would go out and explore the city. Most of your time is spent at the beach or going to watch other US games.

The media ate up every time the two of you were out, knowing the other wasn't far behind. The attention the two of you held was even more than your rookie year.

It is the last few days of the Olympics that has you excited. Both you and Caitlin. You are about to head into your final game, hoping for a spot on the podium.

As you are getting ready, you put your wedding ring on a safety pin and pin it on the inside of your jersey. You would pin it on the inside of your jersey while Caitlin would tie it into her shoelace. It was a way to have each other on the court or field.

Your last game of the series was the most challenging let. Both teams put in all they have for their country. The game goes into overtime with your team coming out on top at the end of it.

You don't remember much after the game but that night you see your mom has sent you a video.

Opening the message from her, you see a link to an article. As you open it, it is an article that someone has written about your relationship with Caitlin dating back to that first photo in high school. You scan through it seeing as they have included all of your milestones. At the end of it, you notice they have included your time together in LA. The last photo of the article mirrors the very first photo the world has of Caitlin supporting you.

It is a photo taken, field level with your hand raised in the air, yelling after your final win. Right behind you, you see Caitlin with her hands in the air, mirroring your excitement in the US support section. Whoever wrote the article must have been following the two of you for a while now. You look and see that they included a side-by-side of your senior year and today with the caption - 'Once a fan, always a fan'.

You save the photo and throw your phone away from you curling up next to your girl.

"Forever and always, right babe?" You ask.

"Forever and always," Caitlin responds, kissing the top of your head.

AN: CUTE. Let me know your thoughts. And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[themultifandomgal]

Can I get a little something with either Kelly Severide or Matt Casey please where he sees the readers baby bump for the first time? Perhaps it becomes really prominent and he soon becomes obsessed with it

Kelly Severide- Little Baby Bump

YN and Severide wanted to have a baby for a while. They knew that as soon as they got married they would try for a baby, but unfortunately for them it took a lot longer than they thought for them to conceive. A year later after trying YN started to have pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, swollen breasts, tiredness.. etc. Of course Kelly was immediately at the nearest shop to get some pregnancy tests and got home in record time. Within a few minutes they were celebrating the fact that they were going to be parents.

That was 5 months ago and while YN has been looking a little bloated there wasn't a prominent baby bump until today. The weather in Chicago has been rather nice recently, so YN gets dressed into a maxi dress. What she doesn't realise is that the dress being tight fitting shows off her small baby bump. YN leaves her shared bedroom with Kelly and heads downstairs into the living room where Kelly is sat watching the TV

"Is it just me or is it really warm?" YN asks

"Just you babe. Well it's warm, but not..." Kelly stops when he sees his wife. Kelly looks at her little bump

"What? Is their a stain on my dress" YN goes to look down

"No it's just, your bump is showing"

"What?" Kelly takes YN's hand and guides her back upstairs to their bedroom where there is a full length mirror "Kel what are you..."

"Look" Kelly stands behind YN rubbing her little bump "our little baby is in there"

"We've waited a long time for this" a tear falls from YNs eyes.

That night YN and Kelly lay in bed together, Kelly rubbing her bump ever so slightly before sitting up and little and then leaning down

"Hey little one. Mummy and daddy can't wait to meet you. Tomorrow we're going to paint your bedroom, well I am. Mummy is going to keep out of the room because of the fumes instead she's going to sort out the millions of clothes she's bought" Kelly laughs making YN chuckles. Kelly lays back down on his back, YN turns over so that she can lay on Kelly's chest

"I love you Kel"

"I love you too" Kelly replies before they both fall asleep.

The following day Kelly, Matt and Jay go upstairs to build the baby furniture and paint the walls while YN and Gabby sort through the already washed baby clothes and the ones that need to be washed. Again the weather is warm so YN is wearing another maxi dress with the air con on. She notices Gabby shiver a little

"Sorry if it's to cold, I've just been so hot"

"No it's ok don't worry"

"I'll grab you a jacket" YN gets up smoothing down her dress

"I bet Severide is excited about being a dad"

"Very. Last night he spoke to the bump, then all night he would either be holding my bump or stroking it a little" YN grabs a jacket off the back of the dinning room chair and hands it to Gabby

"You guys are so sweet. Your going to be amazing parents. Just remember I am godmother" Gabby jokes

"Of course. You want a drink? Bet the boys will want a beer"

"I'll just have a soda"

"Ok" YN goes into her kitchen and opens up the fridge grabbing 2 sodas, one for her and one for Gabby. She then grabs 3 beers for the boys upstairs. YN takes the beers let's Gabby know her soda is in the kitchen while YN takes up 3 beers.

YN opens up the nursery room looking at the sweaty men in front of her

"Beer anyone? It's cold"

"Thank you YN" Matt walks over to her smiling

"What are you doing in here? The fumes..."

"Won't hurt for a couple of minutes. The rooms looking good" Kelly wraps his arm around YN's waist rubbing his thumb up and down against her bump slightly

"How's the clothes folding coming along?" Jay asks taking his own beer

"Ok rather be in here helping you guys, but I'm way too hot" YN chuckles "I better get back downstairs, left Gabby folding"

"We'll be down in a bit" Kelly presses his lips to YN's forehead before kneeling down to place a kiss on her bump.

Since YN started showing, Kelly has been constantly touching and kissing the bump. Basically he's obsessed. Kelly is going to be one of the most amazing dads ever.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Twilight was beckoning over the horizon, battling with the sun as it sunk below the mountains. Its rays cast the final streaks of light through the sky, sending all the colors of the desert into one final blaze. Antoine rarely stayed at Abraham’s ranch this late, at least not when Zelda hadn’t taken Violette up the hill to meet him in the afternoon. But tonight Abe had besieged him with coffee and cigarettes in an uncharacteristic display of emotion; so Antoine remained, sitting with him as the first stars began to appear in the sky. 

The fire was crackling in front of them and Abe seemed antsy, as though he was waiting for the comfort of night before he began speaking. Antoine knew better than to ask what the matter was, or even to be the first to speak, because when he got that way someone else’s attempts to draw the words out only made him bury them deeper inside. So he kept dragging on his cigarette, watching the fire dance as the air grew colder and the sky rapidly fell to the inevitable pull of darkness.

But as the final blue of daylight began to give way to a bruised purple above them, Abe threw his cigarette into the fire and brought his hand to a handle of wood near him that Antoine hadn’t noticed before. His fingers trailed on its tip aimlessly as he kept staring into the fire, “I told you my granddad came out here to herd cattle, didn’t I?” Antoine nodded his head in agreement, a gesture that wasn’t really needed for Abe to continue in a gruff voice, “Well he didn’t. Not really. That came after. He came out here to outrun the patrols after he escaped Alabama.”

Antoine kept his cigarette on his lips. He didn’t have to ask for details to know precisely what Abe meant, or the sort of pain he must have felt in saying any of this. He thought of Silver, and how distrustful she was of anyone. Only horse who ever knew my granddaddy, and he always kept her nearby. 

Abe’s finger ran along the wooden handle next to him and a low note escaped it. Antoine immediately recognized it as a B flat, and then realized that Abe’s hand was nervously moving up and down the handle of a guitar, “This was his. Then my Poppa’s. Only Poppa wasn’t content to stay out here. He got some idea in his head that he was meant to be a blues musician. Word after the war was it was better for us up there, so he moved me out to Chicago chasin’ some dream and false promises when I was just a boy.”

Now the words seemed to come more easily, like a song once it started or the faint dissonance echoing from the strings of a rarely played guitar that had the whole story locked inside its cavernous body. “He never gave up. Not when Momma left him. Not when I married Mabel and moved back out here with Grandad. Not ‘til the riots of ‘19 when he was just on the streets, walking alone back from a gig when the crowd found him, riled up on some horrid hatred and set on violence no matter who crossed their path…”

He stopped in his tracks and moved his hand from the guitar to wipe a lone tear from his eye. The faint sounds that had been coming from his hands on the strings settled into the loud silence of a desert twilight, filling in the ending to the story that Antoine didn’t need to hear to know.

Abe seemed to purposefully pull himself back into the moment, redirecting his attention to the guitar beside him. Then he brought it onto his lap and spoke looking directly at it, as though it had a life and a mind of its own, “You know, all his life he had some hair-brained idea that I would be able to play like him; but truth is I’m no better now than when he himself tried to teach me. And if he couldn’t, nobody can.”

He stretched out his hand, offering Antoine the old but clearly well looked after guitar, “I know I haven’t been able to pay you what your work is worth, and you’re always going on about your piano back in New Orleans, so I thought this might bring you some joy. More joy than it ever brought anybody else, maybe.”

Antoine looked down at the extended instrument frightfully, because he knew it wasn’t just some guitar. It was just as alive as his piano had been, because someone had poured their very soul into it. Abandoning it had been like leaving part of himself behind, the part that had been ripped to shreds and then reassembled by the movement of the keys. He yearned for it every day of his life here, no matter how happy he was.

But the soul in the guitar before him wasn’t his memory, or his pain. It belonged to another man, one who had been parted from it in violence and hatred. “I…I couldn’t, Abe. It’s yours. It’s your father’s, your family’s. Surely it belongs with you.”

Abraham stretched his hand out further, the emotion coming back to him for a minute as his voice went raw and he dared to lock eyes with Antoine, “I insist, chap. I want somebody to play it again. Give it life, make it sing. The way he would’a wanted.”

Abe inched the guitar closer to Antoine, and he moved his arms to accept the burdened gift. Because how could he say no to that? He had seen himself in Abe since the day they met, in his humor and the incessant guard he refused to let down. They spent nearly every day together, mostly talking about horses or work, somehow never with the need to show any other side of themselves. Now here he was, without armor or pretense, asking for nothing but to see some semblance of his father’s memory find life and joy again.

As Antoine settled the guitar in his lap, Abe left his hand on its neck for a moment. Then he let it fall away, moving the strings along with him as though it were saying goodbye. With his palm wrapped around them, every echoed sound moved up Antoine’s arm into his soul, as though it were speaking directly to him.

[callsign-dexter]

Heatwave of Emotions 18+

Request: Hey hooooo my dear ❤️ I love your blog sooooo much that I cannot resist to send in a Kelly Severide idea for my bday on Monday 🫣🥰 but of course you can write it whenever you have time !It would be something where you're just moved to Chicago, working at 51 and everyone immediately loves you, especially one grumpy Lieutenant. So after some weeks adjusting to everything and even getting closer with Kelly, which everyone notices and sees how happy you make each other, you finally agree on a date with him. Which turns out absolutely great and you're about to kiss as some random chick disturbs you both (she's been a one time thing with him at some point but not something serious) and you leave him standing there, being hurt and sad. The next days you barely talk with him and don't get him any chance to explain, so the rest of 51 tries talking in your mind that he's never been that serious about a girl until you showed up and stuff. Sooooo on a free day you show up at his apartment, wanting to talk with him, but as he opens the door you notice he just came out of the shower and you cannot get your thoughts together, so you kiss him, which he gladly returns and the situation gets into his bedroom, getting away all doubts of you🔥😉

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Belated Birthday to the anon who sent this in! I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms here is some Kelly Severide for ya!

When you moved to Firehouse 51 in Chicago from your old house back in Colorado, who wasn’t the best towards women, you thought this was going to be the same way. Boy, were you wrong. When you walked in you saw several women and the house and when they saw you, they immediately welcomed you and made it feel like home. Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, and Gabriela Dawson became your immediate friends and you couldn’t ask for anyone better to hang out with. When you were introduced to the rest of everyone, they were quick to make you feel welcomed and that made you smile. There was one person that caught your eye and you could tell that you had caught his eye as well. Once everyone cleared out and it was just you and him in the room, he approached you. “Hi I’m Kelly Severide. I work on Squad 3.” He said and smiled a dazzling smile that had you swooning and you smiled back at him.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m gonna be working on Ambulance 61 with Sylvie and Gabriela.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“You’ll be with the best. So, what made you move here?” He asked and you could tell he was actually curious and not looking for small talk.

“My firehouse back in Colorado wasn’t the best towards women and my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and he worked in the same house. I was the laughing stalk and needed a new start.” You said and he looked like he was actually pissed that happened to you.

“That is no way to treat someone as beautiful as you.” He said and you actually blushed and you were going to say something else but the bells rang for Ambulance 61 and he looked at you. “Well, it looks like it is your time to shine.” He said and you nodded as Sylvie came and motioned you to come and you did as you were walking towards the ambulance and got in the back, she turned to you.

“You and Kelly, huh?” She said with a smirk and you just bowed your head and smiled while blushing.

“Ohhhh, what is this about?” Gabriela asked and Sylvie turned to her.

“When I went to get her, she and Kelly were talking up a storm and he was smiling like actually smiling.”  She said

“Are you saying that Kelly and Y/N have a crush on each other already?” She asked and you just blushed furiously because yes it was true.

“Exactly what I’m saying.” She said

“Stop it guys.” You said but you were smiling and they laughed.

“In all seriousness, this is the first time I actually saw him smile an actual smile.” Sylvie said

“Really?” You asked and she nodded and turned back to look at you.

“Yes, he doesn’t smile a lot and he has been a grouch for a while.” She said but you didn’t get to ask any more questions because you had arrived at the scene. You three worked perfectly together but you couldn’t stop thinking about Kelly and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

——————————————————————

4 weeks had gone by and you were loving your new house and they were loving you. You fit in well with the group.  We were close with all them but you were very close to none other than Kelly Severide. You won’t admit it but you had a crush on the handsome Squad 3 member whenever you were in the room together. Both of you could not stop smiling and making heart eyes with each other.

Not many calls were coming in so you took this time to tidy things up and get to know more of your coworkers. You had just come back from using the restroom when you heard Casey's voice and stopped where you couldn’t be seen, especially when you heard your name. “Ever since Y/N came, Kelly has been a lot nicer.” He said

“Oh absolutely, he is smiling a lot more and it's creepy but it’s nice.” Stella said and everyone agreed this made you smile to yourself. You had noticed that his mood had changed and to be honest it was nice to have a male being so nice and making you feel noticed. It had gone quiet so you had walked away with a smile on your face. You walked where the trucks were and found Kelly sitting there and that just made you smile even more. You walked over to him and sat down and he looked up and smiled.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked with a smile.

“Oh, nothing really. I just love this house and it’s nowhere near my last one and I’m so grateful for that.” You said and he leaned up further.

“We absolutely love having you here. I know I do most of all. Speaking of knowing you. I have to admit that I do have a crush on you.” He said and that made you blush.

“I do too.” You said shyly.

“Well, if we feel the same way then maybe go out on a date with me. I know you have turned me down in the past.” He said, this hasn’t been the first time that he had asked and each time you had politely turned him down and he understood and didn’t push but that didn’t stop him from asking a few weeks later. You looked at him thinking, this is the first time that you both had admitted that you had crushes on each other.

“Ok, fine. I’ll go on a date with you.” You said and the biggest smile appeared on his face.

“Really?” He asked and you nodded.

“Really.” You said

“What kind of food do you like?” He asked

“I really love Thai food.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“I know this really good Thai place. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night.” He said and you nodded.

“Sounds like a date.” You said

“Indeed, it does.” He said and then the bells went off. You all were heading out onto the call.

——————————————————————

The day of the date started the few days you had off and you were somewhat looking forward to it but not really, you had really just wanted to be with your crew because being alone in a house by yourself sucked. You had spent all day getting ready for your date that you had even called Stella, Sylvie, and Gabriela over to help. When they asked why and you told them they practically squealed and dragged you to your room and started going through your closet. After finally settling on a pair of jeans that hugged your legs and accented what they needed and a nice red shirt that once again accented everything it needed to, you were ready. While you waited, they did your hair and makeup and then you all gossiped. It was mostly about Kelly but you didn't mind not in the least bit. They left around 6:30 PM and now you just had to wait.

7 PM rolled around and Kelly was knocking on your door. During the weeks everyone had exchanged phone numbers with you and some of them, mostly the 3 females that had become your friends, knew you address one being Kelly. You walked to your door and opened to find him on the other side holding some flowers and that made you smile. “These are for you.” He said and handed you the flowers which you gladly took.

“Thank you. Peonies are my favorite.” You said taking them and bringing them up to your nose to smell them. “Come inside while I put these away.” You said and stepped aside and he did just that. 

“So, our reservation is at 7:30 PM.” He said “It doesn't take that long to get there.” He added and you nodded as you finished putting the flowers in a vase. When it was close to 7:30 PM you both started to head that way. It turns out it was a walking distance but he insisted on driving and you let him. He found a place to park and then he was shutting off the engine and walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you and that made you smile. 

“Thank you.” You said and he smiled.

“You’re very much welcome.” He said and when you were plenty enough away from the door, he shut it and locked it. You walked in and straight to the desk “Reservation for two under Severide.” He said and the hostess nodded and smiled.

“Right this way.” They said and you followed them. You both were led outside to a semi-private area and Kelly pulled out the chair for you. The date was going well and you two got to know a lot about each other. When the date was over, he paid for it and then you both left. As you were walking to his car that was parked a few feet away, the both of you stopped at a little park that was close by with a fountain. 

“I really had a nice time with you.” You said looking up at him and he smiled.

“I did too. Do you wish you would’ve gone out with me sooner?” He asked and you chuckled.

“I think I was right to turn you down those three other times. It just helped make this night even more perfect.” You said and he chuckled.

“I get it. I’m just glad you said yes, this time.” He said and then turned to you and the both of you stood there staring at each other and you both slowly leaned in. Your lips were almost touching when a female voice sounded.

“Kelly? Kelly Severide?” The voice said and that made you both look up and over at the voice.

“Alexa.” He said and your stomach dropped. Everyone told you about his flings and relationships that didn’t work out. You expected to meet them sooner or later but not now.

“Why haven’t you texted me back? I wanna hook up again.” Alexa said and that made you feel even worse.

“I told you we were done.” He said and he shook his head and looked over at you. 

“Baby, I promise we are done.” He said and you just shook your head. Alexa put her hands on his biceps and got all up and close. 

“It’s only been a week. A week too long. Ditch this tramp and come back to my place with me.” She said trying her hardest to work. Kelly didn’t say anything.

“I can’t believe I actually fell for this. I should’ve known better. You’re just as bad as my ex, you were hooking up with her when you were talking and trying to go out with me. You know what? I’m so done. Never talk to me again, Severide.” You said and he cringed and started to panic. You only called him Severide while at work all the other times it had been Kelly. You pushed past them and started to walk away. You heard some talking and the fact he wasn’t running after you right now broke your heart and tears fell. “I was so stupid.” You told yourself you were almost home when you heard your name.

“Y/N, please stop.” Kelly said and you did but didn’t turn around. “I haven’t talked to that girl in months and when you came into the house all communication stopped. You have to believe me. She was lying.” He said and you shook your head and turned around and when he saw the tear tracks running down it broke him. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry. How do I know she’s not lying?” You asked and he hesitated and you let out a watery chuckle. “Do me a favor and lose my number. The only time I will speak to you is at work but that’s it.” You said and walked the rest of the way to your home leaving him standing there. You shut the door and slid down it and sat there and sobbed. 

Kelly was distraught. Since you had come into the house, he hadn’t hooked up with anyone, he wanted you and only you. You made his days better and his drinking had cut down tremendously. He just hoped that he could talk to you and let you know that but right now you weren’t listening to him. He immediately pulled out his phone and sent a couple of text messages to you and called you but the messages went unanswered and the calls went straight to voicemail. 

——————————————————————

When it came time for you to go back to work you were dreading it. You didn’t want to see him at all. You told him all about your ex and how awful men were to you. When you had arrived at the station the only spot available was by Kelly’s car and you sighed but parked next to it. You killed the engine and got out and walked into the nearly silent station. You walked into the locker room and got changed and then you were heading to find everyone else. As you were searching for anyone, Kelly rounded the corner and you stopped and so he did. He looked like hell. He had bags under his eyes and his eyes weren’t as bright. “Y/N.” He said your name with a breathless whisper but you just shook your head and walked away.  

Each time he tried to talk to you, you would just back away or make up an excuse that you had something to do and leave. You felt bad for doing so but he did break your heart and most importantly your trust. You still love him but you had built walls up and they weren’t going to come down anytime soon. You had to put up with him for 3 days while you worked and it was gonna be difficult but you were going to pull through no matter what. 

Over the next few days, you avoided him like the plague and each time he tried to corner you and tried to explain the bell had rung each time saving you. You honestly didn’t know if you were going to give him another chance or not. Everyone had settled into the kitchen while Squad 3 was out on a call. While you were there, they got to talking about anything but the subject of Kelly had come up. “Gosh Kelly has become so irritable in the last few days. He’s even more grumpier and pretty much has gone back to his old ways.” Stella said and then she turned to you. “How was the date?” She asked.

“It was great and he was a gentleman. Afterwards we went to a little park near my house and as we were talking some girl came up named Alexa. She said that they hadn’t hooked up in weeks. She started touching him and he didn’t even try to stop her. He knew my history with men and how I was cheated on.” You said and everyone was quiet. 

“You know he has certainly changed since you came here. He started to become happy and friendly. His attitude has changed drastically.” Sylvie said and everyone nodded in agreement. 

“You’ve changed him for the better.” Gabriela said and you just sat there quietly taking it all in. 

“This Alexa girl he hasn’t talked to in months, almost close to a year.” Casey said and you looked up surprised.

“So, he was telling the truth?” You asked and they all nodded and now you felt bad for not giving him the time of day to actually explain. 

“He was. He is so in love with you that it is almost sickening.” Herrmann said, you thought about it and then the bells were ringing and Ambulance 61 and Truck 81 was being called out. As you were walking to the ambulance, the Squad 3 truck was pulling into the station. As Kelly got out you both made eye contact with each other but you had gotten in and shut the doors and you were off.

——————————————————————

When you got off shift you had debated on going straight home but you needed to see Kelly. You walked out to your car and noticed that he was already gone and you sighed. You got into your car and started the engine and headed over to his apartment. You knew where it was because you had been over there several times just to hang out and that was the first time you had admitted to yourself that you were absolutely in love with him. 

You pulled into a space and parked and killed the engine. You started your way into the building and walked to the elevator and pressed the button and it immediately opened. You got in and then pressed the button for his floor. You waited anxiously for it to arrive at his floor and when it did you knew there was no going back. You got off and walked to his door and knocked. There was no answer. You debated on going back home or not but didn’t get a chance to turn around because the door was opening and it was revealing Kelly with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was wet. “Y/N?” He asked and you couldn’t think of anything to say as you looked him up and down. 

After a few minutes you finally had enough and no words were coming to you so you just smashed your lips onto his and he returned it. He was so surprised that it had pushed him back but he had grabbed your waist and pulled you inside and shut the door. He pushed you up against the door and the heavy make out session continued. You finally pulled apart when air was needed and you could feel his erection from underneath the towel. “I’m sorry. I believe you and should’ve let you explain.” You said and he shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter right now. Jump.” He said and you did so and then he was back to kissing you, hard. He walked his way to his bedroom and gently laid you down. You broke the kiss and pulled the towel off and your mouth watered at the sight, he was huge and you loved it. “You like what you see?” He asked and you nodded.

“Very much so, but I’m wearing too many clothes.” You said and he chuckled and then started to slowly undress you while caressing every part of your body and kissing it. Soon you were completely naked and showing all of you to him. 

“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He said and you blushed. He laid down on the bed and gently spread your legs and dove in. When his mouth met your hot core, you moaned and grabbed onto his head and pushed him more into you.

“Kelly.” You moaned out and he smirked, he circled your clit and then he pushed a finger into and you were throwing your head back. He thrusted into you and then added a second finger “Oh my gosh.” You moaned out that the rubber band feeling was starting to get tight and you were close. “I want to come on your cock.” You moaned out and he nodded and licked one more broad stripe up you before he was lifting his head and pulling out his fingers. He crawled up to you and kissed you, you tasted yourself on him. 

“You ready, Baby?” He asked while pumping himself twice and you nodded.

“I need you inside me.” You said and he nodded and positioned himself at your entrance and he pushed in. You both moaned together as he did so.

“You’re so tight.” He said and when he bottomed out you felt so full and he stretched you in all the right places. He stayed still for a minute letting you adjust.

“Move.” You moaned out and he nodded and started to gently thrust into you. Your hands went to his back and your fingers dug into his shoulder blades.

“You’re perfect.” He said and started to thrust faster making you moan louder.

“Right there.” You said as he hit your g-spot. “Oh my gosh, I love you.” You moaned out and that just made him go faster.

“I love you too, Baby. You’re the only one for me.” He said and dipped his head down into your neck and sucked on it. He gently bit it and that you were clenching around him. 

“I’m close.” He said and you moaned out.

“Me too. I want you to cum in me.” You moaned out and that just seemed to make him go faster. 

Kelly’s thrust was becoming sloppy and you knew he was close. Your fingernails bit into him making him hiss. He reached a hand down to your clit and started to rub vigorously which helped you get closer. “Cum with me.” He moaned out and then he was bending down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and sucking on it. When he gently bit it is when you came and you clenched around him which made him cum. You both came while calling out each other’s names. You both were coming down from your highs when he pulled slowly out of you and laid next to you. You both panted out of breath but a smile was on both of your faces. “I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the only one for me.” He said and you turned to look at him.

“I know. Everyone talked to me. I’m sorry for not letting you explain.” You said and he smiled at you.

“It’s ok. I’m just glad we’re here with each other now.” He said and you nodded “I love you.” He said and you smiled.

“I love you too.” You replied

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you sat up leaning on an elbow.

“Yes. I would love to.” You said and he smiled and he leaned over and kissed you.  You were his and he was yours and that is all that mattered. Nothing was going to change that not now or ever. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[cassofheartsss]

The Alchemy

a/n: This is inspired by The Alchemy by Taylor Swift

tw: mentions of heroin

You and Steve are exes and last year you moved away to Chicago. Today was the day of one of the biggest basketball games ever for Hawkins and you decided to come back to watch it. It felt weird being back. You were so used to Chicago so Hawkins felt different from how it used to feel. You was outside Hawkins High School and called Nancy before you went in and she answered.

“Heyyy what’s up?” Nancy asked. “What if i told you i’m back?” You asked and Nancy immediately went silent. “Wait no way are you outside stop don’t play around like this” Nancy said. “I’m not playing around I am back” You said and then you heard Nancy moving and then you saw her walk out of the school and she immediately saw you. “OH MY GOD YOU ARE BACK” Nancy exclaimed before running up to you and hugging you. “Yeah I wanted to see this game” You said hugging her back. Jonathan quickly also came out, probably because Nancy was with him and then suddenly ran off. “Oh my god” Jonathan said when he saw you. “Hey Byers” You said with a smile and he smiled back. “Robins probably gonna scream when she sees you” Nancy said laughing. “Yeah i’m so excited to see her again” You said. “Y’know who else you’ll see again?” Jonathan asked. “Don’t remind me” You said with a sigh. Nancy laughed and then you all walked in and sat down. Robin was with the band and she saw you and immediately smiled at you. You smiled back and then it was time for the speech before the game to start. This was the most boring bit ever.

The game then started and Steve walked onto the court. It was weird seeing him again. He looked better than he did before. A lot better. He then saw you. ‘So when I touch down, call the amateurs and cut ‘em from the team’ He thought before the whistle was blown and the game started. Steve scored a goal and everyone screamed and cheered for him. He made eye contact with you and smiled before going back to the game. “The sign on his heart said it’s still reserved for you” Nancy whispered to you smirking and you smiled. “Honestly who are we to fight the alchemy” You whispered back and Nancy had the biggest smile on her face. You and Steve were so cute together. Everyone thought you’d be endgame so when you broke up that shocked literally everyone. Even Billy Hargrove was shocked which proved how perfect you and Steve were together. “What if I told him we’re cool? That child’s play back in school is forgiven under my rule?” You said and Nancy and Jonathan immediately looked at you. “Oh my god are you finally coming around?” Jonathan asked. “Well I haven’t come around for so long… But i’m making a comeback to where I belong” You said after a few seconds and Nancy gasped.

‘Those blokes warm the benches we’ve been on a winning streak’ Steve thought. “Didnt he used to joke it was heroin but this time with an ‘E’.” Nancy asked referring to what he used to say your love for eachother was like. You nodded then went back to watching the game. Steve won for the team and everyone cheered. Shirts off and his friends lift him up over their heads. Beer stickin’ to the floor cheers chanting cause’ they said “there was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league”. After about ten minutes everyone was leaving so Nancy,Jonathan and you also got up Robin ran over to you guys. “YOURE BACK?” Robin asked you. “Just for today I wanted to see the game” You said. Steve then immediately came over runnin’ to you guys. “Congrats on the win” You said. “I didn’t expect you to be here” Steve said to you. “Yeah well I am” You replied. “I’m so happy you’re back even if it’s just for the rest of the day” Robin said before hugging you. “I’m sorry… For everything” Steve said after a few moments of silence. “I’m sorry too” You said and he hugged you.

I mean who were you to fight the alchemy?

[marimayscarlett]

Hi! I absolutely love all of your detailed posts about Richard, they make my day when you post them, I was wondering if you could make a compilation of very wholesome moments with fans? I'm afraid that Rammstein will never come back to the US and I'll miss my chance of meeting him in person and I'd love to see some sweet fan interactions ❤️ Dankeschön ❤️❤️

Hi 🤍

Please excuse my late reply to this, but I love this ask! It's known that Richard can be very warmhearted towards fans and gives out bone-crushing hugs left and right - I found several accounts of fans who met him and will accumulate these in the following post 😊 (sources are linked at the end of the post.)

First some stories of fans who shared their experiences on the internet:

One fan met him before a concert, he gave the fan a hug and they say that to this day, they haven't forgotten the feeling of this hug.

Here's an account of a fan who met Richard at a resort in Mexico: "Richard never acted like we were imposing on his time or being a hindrance, even though he was with a table of friends. As soon as we were in eye contact range, his entire demeanor changed. He lit up like a Christmas tree and stood to shake our hands, stood close to us to chat for a few minutes - five minutes, tops, and gave us hugs as we left before shaking our hands again."

After a concert: "The hug I got was bone crushing. I was right in front of him. Cried my way through Frühling [...]. He checked on me and asked me if I was ok. Said i was fine and even the amount of times I'd seen them play, i got so caught up in the emotion. Richard told me they were the most moving moments for him at least and pulled me into a huge hug that if i think about it, i can still feel. Sounds weird but when you get a hug like that you dont forget it."

Richard seems to be a bit camera-shy while being out and about (declining selfies most of the time), but offers/asks for hugs himself as a return, as told by a fan who met him at the Chicago Airport. The fan apologized after asking for a selfie, yet Richard immediately asked her to give him a hug afterwards.

At a concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit back, May 2012: "For some reason, I thought of making a sign that said "Pick für mich, bitte". We were right at the barricade and I decided to flash the sign. I don't even know what I expected out of it. Well, Richard fucking Kruspe went to his mic stand, got a pick, went to the security guard in front of the railing and told him to give me the pick. The guard and I had chatted prior to their performance, so he looked at me with a "way to go, kid" look. People around me cheered. Best concert memory ever. Nothing but a class act."

Another fan reports him being quite talkative and attentive during parties - apparently really listening to the other person and showing real interest. He really likes to talk about music and guitars and seemingly likes hearing the opinions of fans.

Meeting the band in front of their hotel: "His hug was the tightest, and he smells SO GOOD, I wanted to ask what was his perfume. I told him I loved Emigrate, he gave me the biggest smile and thanked me."

Then we have voice from withing the fandom on here - the lovely and helpful @anwiel13 said this about meeting him at a Meet&Greet (thank you again for sharing this! 🤍):

"Once he entered the room, we immediately know it. Not that he did something, but he really has this big personality, in very good way. He was smiling all the time, unless taking photos, than we was all his gothic deep stare self. He was also super nice to two girls, who were absolutely nervous, telling him how much they love him. We all know he hear this all the time, but he really looked like he is listening them and make them feel not like crazy fangirls annoying him with their feelings. If that's make sense. He hugged one girl when she asked him and again, did not looked like she's annoying him with this. He left very quickly after taking photos and signed our things. Overall, he was very nice and caring. I heard somebody complain about him being all snobby and annoyed during some M&G, but he was nothing like this during the one in Prague."

Plus I have found two 'essay'-posts on here describing fan-experiences at Meet&Greets and afterparties:

Here Richard is described as really warmhearted, smiling and patient with the fans:

A very wholesome interaction (with a cute Paulchard momet) with a fan who brought selfmade fan art with her:

And since of course I found some experiences with other band members on my research-way, here are my favourites of some of the other guys 😊:

At an afterparty: "I spent a long time talking to Flake who is beautifully underappreciated. He's such a wise man with an incredibly dark sense of humour. [...] Flakes English isn't great but he seemed to really appreciate that someone would talk to him in German and happy to help me figure out words I wasn't familiar with and vice versa. I really appreciated it as he did slow down his natural German speaking speed to help me continue a conversation in German as native speaking speed was just a little too fast."

At a meet and greet: "Schneider gave me such Dom-Daddy vibes that I would have got on my knees if he asked. He was so friendly, asked about myself and I was able to give him a letter from my best friend who had spoken to him years before, and he was so happy to take it."

At an afterparty of Till's solo tour (London concert): "I went to see Lindemann in London and was invited to the after party and ended up trying to open a bottle of wine with a set of keys with Till and then ended up drinking vodka and chatting to him for a few hours. Such a humble human and one of my biggest role models in life - he made me want to become a fire performer and he said I looked great doing what I do."

"Did a meet & greet on the 2019 tour and a bunch of the after parties. Doom is an incredible dancer and Paul and Richard give the best hugs." (I've read several times that Schneider seemingly kills it on the dance floor 👀)

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

All in all, it's always amazing reading about fans having nice experiences with them - but let's not forget (since some people do exactly this), the band members are also just human beings like you and me, don't owe the fans smiles and good moods, and it's not a crime to have a bad day once in a while (with less enthusiastic interaction with fans) or just wanting some peace or being in a hurry, since they all do have private lives🤝🏼

[alisonsfics]

back in chicago - part 2

pairing: ex-boyfriend!carmy berzatto x reader

summary: after years in germany, you return to chicago and immediately run into your ex-boyfriend. if you thought it’d be easy jumping back into your old life, you were wrong. new people had entered carmy’s life, including a new woman, but you were still everything to him.

word count: 3.2k

part 1 / part 3 / part 4

After giving everybody at the Bear a chance to change out of their dirty clothes, you all headed out to the parking lot since Richie had suggested a night at the club.

“Alright, how you wanna carpool?” Marcus asked Richie, since they were the only two with cars.

“My backseat is full of shit, so I only got room for one.” Richie said, scanning the group for volunteers. In true matchmaker fashion, you pushed Maria towards Richie.

“Alright, cool. Maria’s with me, you got everybody else?” Richie asked Marcus as he slid his arm around Maria’s shoulders. You and Maria made eye contact, and she rolled her eyes at the giddy look on your face.

“Sounds good. Tina, shotgun?” Marcus asked, opening the passenger door for her. Tina was the mother of the group, which meant she got the best treatment and none of the teasing.

Tina thanked Marcus and got in the car. That left you, Carmy, Nat, and Sydney in the back seat. Nat and Sydney went to the left side to get in.

Carmy headed towards the back right door and got in, so you wouldn’t have to sit in the middle. Nat was on the far left, then Sydney, and then Carmy.

Carmy scooted as far over as he could, allowing you to get in. You squished next to him, but couldn’t close the door. “Here you go,” he said, moving his arm to rest on the seat behind you. You readjusted and scooted closer to him.

“You all good back there?” Marcus asked.

“Marcus, your car is too damn small to squeeze four people back here.” Sydney said, causing you all to laugh. You successfully got the door to close, but you were almost in Carmy’s lap.

You made eye contact with Nat, who was smirking at the both of you. The entire side of your body was pressed up against his. “This remind you of anything?” You whispered quietly to Carmy.

His cheeks turned bright red as you referenced your first date. Carmy had taken you to a concert in his small beat-up car. The date ended with you both hooking up in the tiny backseat and then getting kicked out by security.

Your phone lit up in your lap with a text from Maria. It read: “Sticking me in a car with Richie? You’re never gonna give up are you?”

“I wasn’t the only one who saw that between them? Richie was checking her out in the parking lot.” Carmy said, softly, almost making you jump.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop,” he mumbled after seeing your reaction. You shook your head. “You’re like five inches away, so I don’t think it counts as snooping.” You joked, making him chuckle.

“Yeah, I saw you nudge her in the parking lot. Good thinking,” he complimented. Giggling in the backseat with Carmy and trying to set up your friends felt so familiar and made you feel back at home.

“I swear, something’s there. They just haven’t admitted it yet. I mean, they’re both single. And you should’ve seen Maria’s face when she saw Richie for the first time tonight. It was like she was a teenager again, and she was blushing like crazy.” You told him, not realizing how closely Richie and Maria’s situation mirrored yours and Carmy’s.

As you both chatted, you and Carmy naturally gravitated closer to each other. One of your legs was now resting on top of his, and his arm was now casually wrapped around your shoulders.

Neither of you noticed Nat take a picture of you both and send it to Maria and Richie with the caption: “I think something’s happening👀”

You all pulled into the club parking lot and poured out of the squished car. You noticed the buckle on your shoe had come undone when you got out of the small car.

“Oh, shit,” you mumbled, picking your leg up and trying to fasten the buckle. Balancing on one leg while wearing heels was more difficult than you thought it would be.

You wobbled and almost fell. Carmy quickly reached out and grabbed your arms, steadying you. Watching out for you was an instinct for Carmy. “Thank you,” you bashfully thanked him as you held on to his arm for balance and fixed your shoe.

Richie and Maria got out of Richie’s car with giant smiles on their faces. “Looks like they had a good time reconnecting,” Carmy leaned in towards you and whispered.

“I always told you that they were perfect for each other,” you told him, smiling as you watched your friends. Carmy faked a shocked face. “Don’t pretend like I ever doubted you. I always knew you were right. You were right about most things.” He told you, chuckling to himself.

“I was always right,” you teased, pretending to be offended. Carmy held his hands up in surrender. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” He apologized, with a smirk on his face.

Maria nudged Richie, gesturing towards you and Carmy. They both shared a knowing glance after seeing the giddy smiles on your faces.

You all went into the club and ordered some drinks. You walked over to where Maria and Sydney were chatting. “How was your car ride with Richie?” You asked, smirking at her. Maria huffed and jokingly rolled her eyes.

“Wait…are you and Richie like…?” Sydney asked, not knowing how to finish the question. Maria quickly shook her head no. “Don’t listen to her. They had a little fling back when me and Carmy were together, went their separate ways, and now they’re both single again.” You corrected Maria.

“You know what? You get you some. Go for it. You guys would be cute.” Sydney said, jumping on the bandwagon.

“Oh, and you. We have to get you to come out with us more often. We can never get Carmy to come out drinking with us, but apparently if you’re here, he’s down for anything.” Sydney said, smirking at you. You felt your cheeks heat up as you thought about what she was implying.

The three of you girls kept talking for a while. You told Sydney about Germany. Sydney filled you both in on some of the restaurant drama. You all got along really well.

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back.” You told them before heading towards the lobby. You knew that while you were gone, Maria would definitely let Sydney know about all the details about yours and Carmy’s relationship. You quickly went to the bathroom, thankful there was no line.

Meanwhile, Carmy had snuck out into lobby after getting a call from Claire. “Hey, baby. What’s up?” Carmy asked, cluelessly.

“I just got your text. You guys are at a club? I thought we were seeing a movie tonight. Your old girlfriend comes back to town, so now you have to go drinking?” Claire asked, infuriated.

“Oh, shit. I completely forgot about the movie. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” He apologized quickly, but Claire wasn’t impressed. “That’s bullshit, Carm. Are you still fucking hung up on her?” She asked.

Carmy hesitated.

“No, it’s nothing like that.” He argued. He wasn’t necessarily lying. He truly was too in denial to believe that he still had feelings for you.

“Fuck you, Carm. Why can’t you just tell me the truth? You wouldn’t have hesitated if the answer was actually no.” Claire screamed at him.

When you came out the bathroom door, your ears were met with screaming. You recognized the voice as Carmy’s.

You froze when you saw him standing alone in the lobby on the phone. His face was bright red, and his hair was messy, like it always was when he got upset.

Your presence in the room caught his attention as his eyes quickly met yours. “Sorry,” you mouthed, trying to quickly sneak past him and back into the club. He quickly shook his head, trying to assure you that had nothing to be sorry for.

“Yeah, you know what? Fuck you too.” Carmy yelled into the phone before hanging up.

“Wait up,” Carmy called after you, grabbing your wrist to stop you.

“I’m sorry that you had to hear that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He apologized, sweetly. You just nodded your head, all too aware of the fact that he was still holding onto your wrist.

“You okay? That sounded pretty intense.” You asked him. He shrugged like it was nothing. He didn’t want you to worry. “It’s fine. Just some life stuff. I could use a smoke though, if you wanna join.” He offered.

You nodded and accepted his offer. It felt like old times.

He let his hand rest on the small of your back as you both walked towards the front door. You stepped out into the cold Chicago air.

“It’s still crazy being back here.” You said, scanning the city skyline.

“It felt like a big part of Chicago was missing when you left.” Carmy told you as he lit his cigarette. You admired him as he stood under the streetlight.

“So, are you back for good?” Carmy asked, trying to not sound desperate like he was begging you to stay. You nodded. “This feels like where I’m supposed to be. Germany was good, but it was not meant to be forever.” You said, reflecting on your terrible last few weeks in Germany.

“Did something happen?” He asked you, concerned. You hesitated before answering. “I got fired and dumped by my ass of a boyfriend in the same day, so it could’ve been better.” You replied, keeping your eyes fixed on the ground.

Carmy didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort you, but he was still so unsure of how to act around you.

He settled for a middle ground and held his cigarette out to you. You giggled at the gesture, before taking it between your fingers.

After blowing a small cloud of smoke, you handed it back to him. He stuck the cigarette back between his lips and realized he could taste your strawberry chapstick on it.

He wanted to kick himself. It was like he was suddenly a teenager again and remembering kissing you under the bleachers.

“I’m sorry about the job and the guy. He sounds like an asshole.” he apologized, distracting himself from how much he wanted to kiss you, even though he definitely shouldn’t be thinking about that.

“You don’t know anything about him,” you said, giggling to yourself. Carmy paused, realizing you were right and shrugged. “Yeah, but I trust your judgement.” He said, looking over at you.

He dropped his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. “You wanna head back inside?” He asked, earning a quick nod from you as you had started getting chilly.

As you walked back inside, you both saw Richie standing by a table with beer pong set up. “Yo, cousin, come play,” Richie caught your attention and called Carmy over.

You returned back to where everyone else was standing around a table. After a while, your conversation was interrupted when you heard someone call your name. You turned around and saw Carmy gesturing for you to come over.

“What’s up?” You asked, curiously. He grabbed your hand and slid the ping pong ball into it. “I have one shot. If it goes in, Richie loses. You’ve always been better at beer pong than me.” He said, letting his other hand rest on your back. The few drinks he’d had were definitely making him a little more affectionate.

“I still think this is against the rules, cousin.” Richie complained, remembering all the times you’d beaten both of them at beer pong.

You tossed the ball, and it sunk right into the cup. Your hands shot up in the air in victory. Carmy quickly picked you up and spun you around in a circle. You rested your arms on his shoulders, so you wouldn’t fall down.

“Carmy. I want to talk to you.” You both heard from behind Carmy.

Carmy quickly put you back down on your feet. You looked over his shoulder and saw Claire, who you vaguely remembered from high school. You walked over to Richie’s side of the table, sensing a tension that you didn’t want to be apart of.

“Is that Claire from school?” You whispered to Richie. He looked down at you and nodded. You watched as Carmy pulled Claire off to the side to talk to her.

“Shit, Richie. Are they together?” You asked, feeling a pit in your stomach.

Richie froze after hearing the words leave your mouth. “Oh, fuck. Yeah, I thought you knew.” Richie said, empathizing with how you were feeling. He rubbed his hand on your back, trying to comfort you.

You ran your fingers through your hair, feeling sick to your stomach. Then, all of a sudden, Claire was yelling again.

“What? I can’t hang out with you and your friends? Do you not want to be seen with me? Or is it because she’s here?” Claire asked, pointing at you.

“Richie, I can’t do this.” You said, pulling away from him and walking past the whole group, who was now staring at you. You bit down on your lip, trying to keep the tears from forming.

You snuck up to the second floor loft level of the club that overlooked the dance floor below. It was quieter upstairs, and you needed quiet.

You sat down on one of the couches as a few rogue tears rolled down your cheeks. You felt so stupid for thinking you could pick up where you left off with Carmy.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone walk up to you. You looked up and saw one of Carmy’s coworkers.

“Can I sit?” He politely asked you. You quickly nodded. “Yeah, of course. You’re Marcus, right?” You asked. He nodded and shook your hand.

“I don’t want to intrude, and I know all this history with Carmy is from before I even knew him, but I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about anything.” He offered, giving you a soft smile.

“Thank you. That’s a really sweet offer, but I don’t even think I’d know where to start.” You said, laughing at how pathetic you must have seemed.

Marcus stayed by your side. He didn’t say a word, but he waited until you wanted to talk.

“I think I just feel lost. I got the job offer in Germany, and I almost didn’t take it because I didn’t want to leave Carmy. But he told me I couldn’t turn it down, so I lived in Germany for five years. I had a great job. I met a guy. Then, I lost it all in a day, and so I thought maybe I was never supposed to leave Chicago.” You started explaining.

“I came back to Chicago, and it felt right. Like this was where I was supposed to be all along. Then, completely by Maria’s planning, I ran into Carmy again. It felt natural. It didn’t feel like he hadn’t seen each other in five years. Then, I find out he’s with Claire, and now she’s pissed at me when I had no idea in the first place. I just feel so stuck, like everywhere I go, I’m fucking cursed or something.” You said, wiping away a few tears.

“Well, I promise, you’re not cursed. It’ll all be alright. I think you coming back just threw Carmy for a spin. He wasn’t expecting it at all. But you shouldn’t feel guilty because none of that is your fault. That’s between Claire and Carmy to figure out.” Marcus comforted you.

“Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better. All I have to do now is get over my ex-boyfriend for the second time. But I’ve done it before, so I can do it again, right?” You joked, trying to make the best of the situation.

“There you go,” Marcus said, chuckling, “I’ll leave you alone now. You know where to find me.”

You sat up there for a few minutes in silence. You stood up and looked over the railing at your friends below you.

You didn’t see Carmy anywhere and assumed he was somewhere with Claire.

That was until you saw him walk up beside you. He gave you a soft smile, not knowing what to say yet.

“I’m sorry about all of that. You didn’t deserve to get dragged into that.” He told you, sincerely. You smiled back at him. “It’s alright. I understand.” You told him.

There was silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Neither of you knew what to say to fill the silence. You both were also worried that you’d somehow make it worse by saying the wrong thing.

Even if it was just in a friendly capacity, you were glad to have Carmy back in your life.

Down below you both, you saw Richie run towards the dance floor and start dancing as Love Story by Taylor Swift played.

A small giggle escaped from your lips watching the pure joy on his face. “I have fucking missed Chicago.” You said. It felt like a scene out of a movie, reunited with your best friends in your favorite city.

“Chicago has missed you,” you heard Carmy mumble beside you.

In a split second, he was grabbing your waist and kissing you. You instinctually kissed him back, while your arms snaked around his neck. You twirled his hair around your fingers as he kissed you.

You felt like you were on another planet. You couldn’t hear the club music anymore and could only hear your heart racing in your ears.

Carmy tightened his grip around your waist, so you both were pressed up against each other. There wasn’t an inch of space between you, and you didn’t want there to be.

One of Carmy’s hands crept lower down your back, cupping your ass. You gasped against the kiss, shocked by his hand placement. You could feel him smirk. Nothing made Carmy cockier than watching the effect he had on you.

Moving his arms back to your waist, Carmy started to nudge you backwards towards the wall. Your back leaned against the cold concrete wall.

It brought you back to reality, and you realized what you were doing.

You quickly put your hands on Carmy’s chest and pushed him away. “We can’t…Claire,” you reminded him.

“Oh, shit,” Carmy mumbled, running his hand through his hair. You tried to catch your breath. You could feel your heart rate rising as the panic set in.

“I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have,” you rambled, trying to quickly walk past Carmy. He quickly grabbed your wrist to stop you. “It’s not your fault. I kissed you, and I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He apologized.

“We can’t tell anybody.” You told him, frantically. He quickly nodded, experiencing a similar panic to your own.

You raced back downstairs. Once you got out the front doors, you started sprinting towards your apartment. You needed to get away from there as fast as possible.

You finally arrived at your apartment. You checked your phone and saw a text from Maria that she’d be spending the night at Richie’s. You wanted to be happy for your friend, but your own love life was spiraling

You laid down on the couch and burst into tears. It felt like you laid there for hours, until you heard a knock at your door.

You opened it to find Carmy standing in front of your door.

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[miley1442111]

hii love ur content!!! single-handedly carrying sydney adamu x reader fans rn LOL. was wondering if u could write something w femreader x syd where reader is filling in for marcus as he takes personal leave for his mom? like something with buildup and clear romantic tension in the kitchen btwn them and possible hesitation to act on it from syd’s end when they work together but immediately get tg afterwards ?? if you get the vision!! thank uuu <3333

thank you for requesting this, i love this idea so i'm going to give it two parts if that's ok!

i will always push the sydney adamu x reader agenda

in a minute- s.adamu

a/n: this is PART 1 of most likely two but i'm not sure yet. this is intended for a femreader but you can ignore that and imagine what you want :)

summary: you get a call from carmen berzatto to fill in as a pastry chef, you have nothing better to do, right?

pairing: sydney adamu x reader

warnings: mentions of a difficult workplace environment, mentions of verbal abuse, mentions of not communicating, cursing

Getting the call from Carmen Berzatto made you sick. He was your replacement in New York, he hated you, at least you thought he did. You were leaving New York for Paris, becoming a pastry chef after being sick of the stupid pressure and disgusting abuse you had gotten from restaurants over the years. Don’t get me wrong, being a pastry chef was difficult too, the insufferable people and bosses made you want to rip your hair out, but anything was better than New York. You had trained Carmen for a week, giving him your number in case he needed to ask any other questions. You assumed he’d deleted it. But no, four months into living in Chicago, teaching masterclasses and subbing in for people in various Michelin-star restaurants and bakeries, Carmen Berzatto called and asked if you could cover his pastry chef for a few weeks. You agreed and showed up the next day to see a restaurant that was not yet finished. Residue from walls lay on the floor, mould on the ceilings and an empty kitchen, bare of appliances met your eyes as you walked in. A pretty girl with headphones in stood in the locker room as you turned the corner and she startled when she noticed you. 

“Jesus! Y-you scared me,” she smiled, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” you smiled, stretching out your hand for a hand shake. “I’m y/n y/l/n, is Carmen Berzatto here? Or his partner, Sydney Adamu?”

“Oh my god, you’re Y/n y/ln. Like the only woman ever the International Union of Bakers and Pastry Chefs named ‘best pastry chef’,” she said, shocked that you were standing in front of her. 

You felt heat crawl up your back. You still couldn’t get used to people knowing who you were, it was strange. “The very same,” you practically grimaced. “So, are chefs Carmen or Sydney around?”

“I-I’m Sydney,” she smiled, shaking your hand. “Sorry if that was weird, I just… yeah.”

“It’s fine, I’m just awkward about it, don’t worry.”

“Ok,” she smiled, then snapped out of it. “What are you- I don’t know how to say this politely-”

“What am I doing here?” you finished for her and she nodded. “Carmen called me a few days ago, I trained him in New York and he apparently still has my number. He asked me to fill in for Marcus?” 

“Yeah, ok. So… umm, yeah ok. That’s cool,” She said, still coming to grips with it. 

“He didn’t tell you?” 

“No,” she admitted, sighing. 

“He always was kind of a dick. Don’t worry, I bet he’s just cooling-off or something, he used to get so angry we’d shove him in the freezer for a few minutes to let him calm down.”

Sydney looked at you in bewilderment. 

“I take it that he’s still like that?” you chuckled. 

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Only sometimes though.”

“‘Sometimes’ is too much for me, if he starts pulling that shit I’ll send him out. He’s such a baby sometimes,” you reminisced. “Sorry, if that’s rude since he’s your partner.”

“Well, he doesn’t really feel like a partner,” she sighed, leading you to the office. 

“Not communicating?”

“Never. I didn’t even know we were pulling down walls until they were down.”

“Shit, that’s awful,” you sighed. 

“I’ll call him and see where he is, just wait in here,” she smiled and opened the door for you, then left you alone. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WEEK 1

Working at the Bear was different to anywhere else you’d worked. The people there were interesting in a way that only people outside of the Michelin-restaurant world could be. None of the bullshit you’d dealt with in New York, none of the crap you had to put up with in Paris. They were professional, but they cared about each other. Tina had become a good friend in only the one week you’d been there. Richie was pissing you off enough to warrant stabbing- something that had apparently happened before, and Carmen was either there all the time, or nowhere to be seen. 

And then, there was Sydney. Sydney had essentially fucked you up. From the moment you’d met her, you knew you were fucked. Her soft smile and endearing awkwardness made her basically irresistible. It was embarrassing how in just one week, you felt like you couldn’t be in the same room as her, yet you craved to be near her all the time. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yo, you good?’ Sydney asked as you mapped out dessert ideas Marcus had sent you.

“Huh? Oh-yeah, all good,” you smiled.

“How do you like it?” she asked, cleaning the new silverware. 

“Like what?”

“The Bear?”

“It’s nice. Calmer than the restaurants I’ve worked in,” you answered and she laughed.

“This is calm for you?” 

“You should’ve seen Carmen and I’s boss in New York. Every night he’d make me stay until after closing, fixing any mistakes I’d made if I’d made any. After a while, it was just verbal abuse,” you chuckled and she smiled half-heartedly at you, her eyes missing the certain glow she usually had. 

“Sounds fun,” she joked, but it fell flat on both ends, then she walked away. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d made a fool of yourself, or made her uncomfortable. 

You internally kicked yourself. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WEEK 2

You liked to pride yourself on two things, your standards in the kitchen, and your ability to stay calm under any circumstance. One of those didn’t apply to the current situation, and the other had been thrown out the window 3 minutes ago when this conversation started, more specifically, when Sydney started touching your arm. 

Carmen had finally come in and you’d gotten in a fight over the menu. You wanted something Marcus had suggested and Carmen wanted fucking fig rolls or something, you didn’t exactly know but you do know that it ended in you storming off to the back of the Bear and Carmen storming off to his office. You felt a swell in your heart when Sydney had come to you first, before she went to talk to Carmen. 

“You good?” she asked, accompanying you in the freezing air. You didn’t respond, still annoyed from the conversation. “Earth to Y/n?” Sydney had grabbed your arm and your eyes trained themselves on hers. 

“Yeah, just pissed,” you sighed, answering her first question. “He really doesn’t listen, does he?” You yawned. Sydney’s hand felt like it was burning itself into your skin. 

“No, he kind of refuses to,” she joked. “But if it makes you feel any better, I like your ideas more.”

“They’re Marcus’s ideas, just my drawings,” you were quick to deflect the compliment.

“Well they're beautiful,” she declared, with some uncertain meaning behind her words. ‘Well, you’re beautiful’ is what you picked up from her insinuation and your heart beat much faster than before. “Coming back in?” She dropped her hand and you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“In a minute.” 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

WEEK 3 

Ok, so maybe you could pride yourself on just one more thing, the effect you had on Sydney. 

For the past two weeks, it’d been fleeting glances, the creating and taking of opportunities to touch each other, and small flirty conversation. Sydney had asked you to taste test some restaurants with her, and you had a great time. Conversation flowed, you felt relaxed for the first time in what felt like years, and you were spending time with the girl you liked. 

“Y/N?” You heard Sydney’s voice from behind you. “Behind!” she said. 

You had asked an old friend if you could borrow his restaurant's kitchen and he obliged, knowing he owed you a favour from when you saved him from being fired 7 years ago. 

“Yeah?” You called back, focused on your plating. 

“You almost done?”

“Almost,” you added the finishing touches to the plate and stepped back, a silent victory. It looked delicious. “Done!”

She handed you a fork and you took a bite at the same time. It tasted… terrible. You both spit it out into the sink behind you, then looked at each other and laughed. 

“That is god-awful,” you coughed, a laugh making its way out of your mouth.  

“Oh fuck that’s bad,” she laughed with you, a hand on your shoulder to brace herself. 

Both your laughters died down and her hand remained. She looked so beautiful, her hair pulled back in a blue bandana, her regular chef-white swapped for a green t-shirt and white overalls, and a smile on her face. You seized the moment and kissed her, it started out soft, cautious. Though it quickly divulged into something less sweet. Her tongue was in your mouth and your hands were roaming her waist. She gasped when you bit her lip and you smirked into the kiss. A buzzing noise pulled you two apart, heavy breathing and an uncomfortable stare of ‘what did we just do?’. You grabbed your buzzing phone, bag, and jacket, and left her in the restaurant. 

Was it the coward’s way out? Yes. Did that matter much to you? No. 

Not one bit.

[woah-were-halfway-there]

The Makeup

aka, The Fight: Pt. 3

a/n: alrightyyyy here's the last part of this bit of the series. i think after this i'll go back to writing the scare when little man is born and mia becoming a big sister if y'all are still wanting to read that :)

word count: 9.3k

“You’re sure you’re ok?” Lexie asked from the other end of the phone. “Do you want me to come to Toronto this weekend? We can do something fun. Get you out of Mitch’s condo and do something other than work.”

“Lexie, I’m fine,” Carson told her best friend while nodding a quick thanks to the Starbucks barista who handed her the drink she ordered. It was nearing the end of her lunch break at work, and this was her last stop before returning to the office. “You’re in Chicago, babe. You don’t have to come all the way here for me.”

“Carson, you’re not fine, so don’t even try to lie to me about it.”

Carson sighed and tried to keep her composure because she didn’t have it in her to cry again.

“I’m trying to be fine, Lex.”

It’d been 13 days since Carson and Auston's fight after she found out he’d been charged and tried keeping it from her. That also meant Carson had been staying with Mitch and Steph for 13 days, and it’d been 13 days since she last spoke to Auston.

Following the fight with Auston, Carson missed a couple of work days as her depression about the situation made her feel like she couldn’t get out of bed. By the end of the work week, she returned to the office only briefly but decided to take an impulse trip to Vancouver to see her dad and sister, Mya and get out of Toronto for a little bit as she navigated her feelings.

After returning from Vancouver three days later, things went back to normal for Carson. Well, as normal as they could.

She went back to work, all while acting like nothing was out of the ordinary and continued staying in the spare bedroom at Mitch and Steph’s place. But she still hadn’t talked to Auston about anything because she didn’t know how.

Carson’s friends and colleagues at work noticed something was up. Gone was the friendly, bubbly girl they came to know and loved having as a new addition to the office, as she became a much quieter and mopey version of herself. To them, it was apparent something had happened, but they didn’t want to overstep if she didn’t want to talk about it.

Two people in that office knew what was happening. Max and Tara worked directly with Carson on the same projects, and in the short month and a half Carson had been working there, she immediately clicked with them. They knew all about Carson’s relationship with Auston, having even met him in a non-work setting when the three of them went out for drinks, and he chatted with them for a little bit before driving himself and Carson home. They knew how absolutely in love Carson and Auston were with each other and how this fight affected Carson.

Max and Tara were Carson’s rock in the office, and despite feeling her chest get heavy while talking on the phone with Lexie, she knew they’d help her get through the rest of the day.

“I know you are, babe,” Lexie spoke softly and sighed, bringing Carson back to reality. “I’m just worried about you. And I miss my best friend.”

“I know, and I appreciate you,” Carson told her honestly. “I miss you too, so freaking much. But I don’t want you to come here while I’m like this. I know you’ve seen me in a worse state, but I’m just trying to decide what I want to do about everything with Auston. This is fucking hard.”

“I still want to give Auston a piece of my mind, but for your sake, I won’t. At least not yet. Have you thought about reaching out to him so you can talk?”

“Of course I have. I miss him, Lex—more than I can explain. I miss him, our conversations, our routine, talking with his family, and the feeling of safety I had being with him. But whenever I think about any of that, I think about how he kept such a big thing from me, and it hurts. I almost cracked and told him I was at the game last week, but I knew he’d want to talk afterwards, and I chickened myself out.”

“I understand,” Lexie sighed again. “But Carse, I’m going to give it to you straight here, okay? If you don’t want to fix things, let Auston know. You also gotta let him know if you want to figure things out. It’s been two weeks, babe. As mad as I am at him for hurting you, I know this entire situation is killing him, too, and I really think he deserves to know where you stand.”

Carson took a moment to respond but slowly nodded her head as she entered the front doors of her office building.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “He’s given me space and been patient. I feel like I’ve been stringing him along, making him wait so long and in the dark. God, I just wish none of this happened.”

“I know, it sucks. But you’ll figure it out, babe. You always do.”

“Thanks, Lexie,” Carson responded and took a deep breath. “I plan on figuring it out soon because I’m over feeling like this. But anyway, I’m almost back in the office, so I've got to go. Love you. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Love you too, girly,” Lexie said. “Keep your head up, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Just as Carson hung up her phone and slid it back into her bag, the elevator door opened, and she quickly scanned her pass so she could be taken up to her office floor.

Once she was back at work, Carson was greeted by her coworkers as she passed them and headed toward her office. After she set her bag and iced coffee on the desk, her computer lit up and showed the time. She still had 20 minutes before her lunch was officially over, so she decided that was enough time to eat the last bit of food she had in the fridge.

Max and Tara were still in the breakroom when Carson entered, and she couldn’t help but smile at how it was just the three of them there.

“Carson!” Max greeted her excitedly and waved her over. “You have good fashion taste. Tell me what you think of this sweater. Tara thinks it’s too extra.”

“Let me see,” Carson replied as she grabbed her container of strawberries and joined the other two at the table. Once she was sitting, Max handed her his phone, showing a tie-dye sweater from a website he was looking at. “I like it. Auston has a similar one-.”

Carson immediately cut herself off and shook her head, taken back by her comment. In the last two weeks, she’d only mentioned Auston when talking about what happened. She hadn’t mentioned him in general conversation like she always did before their argument, which didn’t go unnoticed by Max and Tara as they sent each other knowing glances, and Max slowly took his phone back from Carson.

“Well, I doubt something like that would look as good on me as it does on Auston,” he said. “He looks fine in just about anything.”

“Oh, would you stop talking about her man like that? Go find your own to thirst over,” Tara scolded before glancing sideways at Carson and noticing she wasn’t reacting to what they were saying. “Speaking of Auston…”

“Hmm?” Carson hummed, zoning back in on what they were saying.

“Auston, babe,” Max spoke bluntly but softened his voice when Carson looked at him sadly. “Still nothing, huh?”

“No, we haven’t talked,” Carson replied, then stared down at her strawberries, suddenly losing her appetite.

Max and Tara looked at each other again and sighed, knowing full well the toll this was taking on their friend.

“I see you put your necklace back on,” Tara said, nodding to the designer white gold chain around Carson’s neck. “That was a gift from Auston, right?”

“Yeah, it was,” Carson explained as she gently brushed her fingers against the two bands that linked together in the middle, making her love necklace. “He got it for me when I graduated in June. I’d only ever taken it off to have it cleaned before I took it off after our fight. Not having it on felt weird, so I dug it out of my bag to wear it again.”

“I need a man who gifts me, Cartier,” Max tsked, hoping to ease the mood, but regretted it when Carson remained silent. “Carson, honey, is there anything we can do to help?”

“We hate seeing you like this,” Tara added, leaning over to squeeze Carson’s hand. Max quickly joined and placed his hand on top of both of them.

Carson relaxed at their gesture and smiled.

“Sorry, guys,” she responded and took a breath. “Unfortunately, I don’t think much can make me feel better until I talk to him.”

“Understandable,” Max told her with a soft smile. “But also don’t be hard on yourself for taking the time you need to figure out what you want to do.”

“Exactly,” Tara agreed. “If Auston were remotely the type of guy he’s always seemed to be to us, he’d be okay with you taking your time regardless of how he’s feeling.”

“You two always know what to say to make me feel better,” Carson smiled and squeezed both of their hands. “Thank you.”

“We got you,” Max stated.

“Always,” said Tara, patting Carson’s hand before pulling away. “We’ll let you eat your strawberries in peace.”

“OK, guys, I’ll see you out there.”

“And you better actually eat them, or we’ll have issues,” Max threatened as he pushed in his chair and sent Carson a slight glare before following after Tara.

Carson just shook her head as she watched them go, then glanced down at her strawberries again before picking one up and popping it into her mouth.

About 10 minutes later, Carson’s lunchtime was almost over. She stood up from the table and went over to the sink to rinse out her now empty container before heading back to her desk to prep for the remainder of the work day. However, just as she was about to exit the breakroom, she almost ran right into someone.

“I’m sorry,” Carson stammered as she stepped back and looked up to make eye contact with Spencer, another of her coworkers.

“It’s quite alright,” Spencer replied and smiled charmingly. “How are you, Carson?”

“Oh, uh, I’m alright, thanks. How was your weekend?”

“It was good, pretty uneventful.”

Spencer was nice. He had been nothing but friendly toward Carson since she started working in the office, but something just put her off about him. Spencer’s condo wasn’t far from the one she shared with Auston, and for a reason, Carson didn’t understand; he drove to work almost every day and always offered her a ride. Their office was located downtown. Therefore, driving wasn’t always necessary, but Carson would’ve been lying if she didn’t appreciate those rides on days she was running late or the weather was bad.

However, something still rubbed her wrong with him. Spencer was charismatic, meaning he was very good at conversing. He had a way with words and could chat with anyone about anything. But, he also made many comments that had Carson pausing, feeling as though he was hitting on her, which she’d always responded to, making it known she was in a relationship.

Spencer knew she was in a relationship, but there were still times he tested those boundaries, and Carson hated it. She didn’t think this would be one of those times.

“That’s nice,” Carson told him with a smile and internally hoped the conversation would end there. “Anyways, I should probably get back to my desk.”

Carson nodded, and Spencer did the same back, but before she could walk around him, he spoke up again.

“Wait, Carson, before you go, I was hoping I could ask you something.”

“Oh, sure, of course. What’s up?”

“Are you free to get drinks with me today after work?” He asked, making Carson go stiff.

“As colleagues?” Carson hesitantly asked, but she knew better. She was sure Spencer’s intentions weren’t just friendly, but that was a boundary she needed to set.

“I was thinking it could be more like a date if you’re interested.”

“Spencer, no. I have a boyfriend. I’m not interested in you like that at all. I’m sorry.”

Spencer’s entire demeanour changed at that.

“I see,” he said and adjusted his posture, looking slightly more intimidating. “I thought you and the hockey player broke up.”

“I- no, we’re still in a relationship,” Carson explained, despite feeling a little unsure. She and Auston were still together, right?

“You stopped mentioning him, and I noticed you turned the pictures of the two of you on your desk around, so I figured you called it quits.”

There was something about his tone that Carson didn’t like. Maybe it was ignorance. Perhaps it was arrogance. Either way, though, it pissed her off.

“We didn’t break up,” Carson confirmed out loud, mainly to reassure herself. “Things are… rough right now. But we’re still together.”

Spencer scoffed.

“I doubt this will be the only time he hurts you, Carson. Maybe you’re just too naive to see that.”

“And maybe you’re just a dick who made an assumption and then got his ego hurt by a girl who is not and will never be interested in him.”

Spencer blinked, surprised at how she snapped at him, but didn’t say anything.

“This conversation is over,” Carson continued, seething. “But before I go, just know that if you attempt to corner me or anyone in the office like this again, I’ll ensure HR knows all about it.”

Nothing else could be said, so Carson stepped around him and wasn’t stopped.

Part of her wanted to cry as she beelined for her office. She was annoyed and frustrated with the situation, but one thought was prominent in everything she felt: her desire to talk to Auston.

The remainder of Carson’s work day went by quickly despite an anxious nagging feeling she had. Spencer kept his distance while Max and Tara promptly addressed the tension between him and Carson, but not in a way Spencer would hear it. Tara immediately messaged in the group chat with Max and Carson, asking what happened, which Carson filled them in on. She ended the conversation by admitting that the ordeal with Spencer made her want to talk to Auston because she hated not knowing where they stood.

Carson then internally admitted that although she was still hurt and upset with Auston, she still loved him and wanted to be with him. But she didn’t know how to go about it. For all she knew, Auston thought she was overreacting and didn’t want to wait for her to come back around. Of course, she didn’t want to believe that could happen, but Carson’s brain could be so damn mean to her sometimes.

But that’s what she needed to remind herself. Her brain was just mean. There was no way for Carson to know the future of her and Auston’s relationship if she didn’t talk to him. It wasn’t fair to Auston or herself to make assumptions and let that scare her away without first talking to him about it.

Her mind was scrambled, so Max and Tara convinced her to leave the office early and have time to collect her thoughts in a place that wasn’t the office. Carson was hesitant to leave early, but she had completed everything she needed to do that day before her lunch break and got a head start on some other things despite feeling all jumbled. About an hour went by, and she was still on the fence about leaving, but that changed when Spencer went to the photocopier that directly viewed Carson’s office despite a different photocopier being closer to the break room and his office.

Carson went stiff when she saw him walk by and didn’t miss the way he looked into her office as he went. He said nothing, but Carson was not up for playing any of his petty little games. So, after sending a message to her supervisor explaining all the work she’d completed that day and asking if it was alright if she went home early, Carson wasted no time packing up her things and leaving the office once told it was okay to leave. She didn’t even look in Spencer’s direction as she stormed out of her office, only stopping to say bye to Max and Tara and waving at those she passed on her way out.

When Carson arrived at Mitch and Steph’s condo, it was quiet. She knew Steph had things to do that day, meaning her friend probably wasn’t home, but she wasn’t sure about Mitchy.

The Leafs played against St. Louis that night, so it was likely that her cousin was home having a pregame nap before he had to get ready to go to the arena. Carson glanced at her watch to see it was nearing three in the afternoon. Therefore, it’d be odd if Mitch wasn’t home, so she tried her best to be quiet as she took off her heels before heading to the guest room to put her work things in there and maybe watch a show. However, she didn’t make it far when a familiar brown lab entered the hallway and rushed toward her excitedly.

“Hi, Zeusy boy,” Carson quietly greeted the dog as she crouched to his level and scratched behind his ears. “Is your dad sleeping?”

“Nah, I’m right here,” Mitch said as he entered the hallway. He was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts, and his hair was dishevelled, showing that he had been lying down.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Mitchy. Did I wake you up?”

“No, you’re good. I was just scrolling on my phone. You’re home early, though. Everything alright?”

“Uh, yeah,” Carson mumbled as she stood back up and smoothed her blouse. “I finished all of my work early and have a really good start on the stuff I have to do for the rest of the week. I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. I know I’m not in the office for the rest of the week now because my boss is away, but I didn’t want to be there anymore today. ”

“I see,” Mitchy responded, then narrowed his gaze at his cousin, knowing something was bothering her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Of course, she wanted to talk to her twin about everything bugging her, but Carson didn’t want to bother Mitch with her problems.

“No, no, it’s ok. You have to start getting ready soon anyway. I think I’m just going to curl up and watch a show. Have a chill night in.”

“Carson.”

The look Mitch gave her as he crossed his arms showed that he wasn’t impressed by her answer, which made Carson sigh.

“Fine,” she huffed. “Let me change into something comfy, and then I’ll tell you.”

Mitch smirked at her triumphantly before calling for Zeus to follow him to the living room, and Carson went to the guest room. A few minutes later, she emerged in the hallway again wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, then made her way to the living room and curled up on the couch next to her best friend.

Carson spent the next few minutes telling Mitch what happened with Spencer at the office, including the back story of how he’d been flirty before despite knowing she was in a relationship. She then explained what Spencer said after she turned him down and what was on her mind afterwards.

“First off, fuck that guy,” Mitch said once Carson finished her spiel.

“I know, he sucks,” Carson agreed, then took a sip of the water bottle Mitch had grabbed for her.

“I’m glad you put him in his place, but it wouldn’t hurt to report him to HR or something, Carse.”

“I know, I’m going to tomorrow. I don’t want him to make anyone else in the office feel like I did today.”

“Good,” Mitchy replied, nodding his head, then stopping and glancing at his cousin again. “And you think you want to talk to Auston again now?”

Carson sighed.

“Yeah, I do. I miss him, Mitchy, and I need to know where we stand. It’s just frustrating because I still don’t know what I feel or what to do, but I know I need to talk to him. How is he? Is he good?”

“Matts? I mean, yeah, he’s alright. Same old now that the season has started. Not much else is going on at the moment. He asks about you a lot, though. Every day I see him, actually. He misses you too, Carse. I don’t want you to think he doesn’t. But, you gotta do what you think is best for you.”

“But I don’t know if what I want is what’s best for me,” Carson stressed, pushing her hair away from her face as she inhaled. “And that’s the thing. Can I trust Auston again after keeping such a big thing from me? I may have never known if the media didn’t get their hands on the information. Although part of me wishes I was as oblivious to the fact as I was two weeks ago, I still can’t believe it even happened and knowing that it did is a lot. But this is something I’d want to know. I just- how many other significant things hasn’t he told me? Is it too naive of me to want to think he wouldn’t keep something like this from me again?”

“It was extremely dumb for him not to tell you,” Mitch started. “It was even more ridiculous for him to do what he did, whether it was a drunken mistake or not. I will say, though, Auston seems to be learning from it. He’s trying, and that’s really all anyone can ask for. Of course, it doesn’t improve the situation, but he’s being cooperative. And I know one thing he really wants to fix is his relationship with you as he navigates moving forward from this. However, if you don’t think that’s best for you, you’ve gotta listen to that. I can’t see you tearing yourself up because of a relationship again, Carse. I’ve already made Auston clear of my feelings about the situation, and we’re okay now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to say, ‘Yes, you two should figure things out and not break up.’ I love you and Auston together and am always rooting for you guys, but I’ll always care most about your happiness. You’re my best friend. And if you think Auston is who will still make you the happiest, you can’t let anyone make you think otherwise. If you can forgive him, great. But if not, I’ll still be in your corner and we’ll figure it out.”

Carson stayed silent for a moment, processing Mitch’s words. She inhaled deeply, reached up to wipe away a tear that broke free from her watering eyes, and then sniffled before looking back at her cousin.

“I wish I knew what to do, Mitchy. I wish I could go back to him and not be afraid he’d hurt me like this again. And I know I may have overreacted when all of this happened, but it was like being slapped in the face. I was blindsided, and now I feel like I’m in a hole. I don't know how to escape.”

“I know,” Mitch told her softly. “But I think you gotta do what you told me when we started this conversation, and that’s talk to Auston. You won’t know what you want regarding your relationship with him if you don’t.”

“You’re right,” Carson agreed. “I just have to build the courage to reach out to him. It should probably be soon, though, huh?”

“Carson, let me tell you it has been so pathetic seeing him mope over you,” Mitchy stated, making Carson cover her mouth, attempting to hide her chuckle. “Like good, he should know he fucked up, but Auston is so miserable because he misses you, and I can’t even tease him about it because the nice guy in me doesn’t want to make him feel worse.”

“Wow, how considerate of you,” Carson teased while Mitch nudged her with his shoulder. Carson pushed back, but soon enough, they stopped, and Carson leaned her head onto her cousin's shoulder. “Thanks for always looking out for me, Mitchy.”

“Gotta make sure my twin is always okay,” he responded, leaning his head against hers. “Like your mom used to say, it’s the two of us against the world.”

“It is. And I’m lucky to have you as my best friend backing me up every step of the way.”

“You really are stuck with me.”

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Carson chuckled, then sat up again so she could look at Mitch. “But, you need to start getting ready, or else you’ll be late.”

“Shit, you’re right,” Mitch stated, quickly getting off the couch to gather his things. “You’re coming to the game tonight, no?”

“I don’t think so, Mitchy. I’m going to watch from here with Zeus. I don’t want to be back there just yet.”

“OK, fair. You’re welcome to join us after the game, though. Steph will want you there. I can give you a heads up if Auston comes out or not, too.”

“I appreciate it, but I’m ok,” Carson insisted. “I think I’m going to watch the game from here and think about what to do.”

“Alright. Promise to update me if anything happens or you decide you do want to come out?”

“I promise. Now go get ready.”

Mitch was ready and out of the condo within half an hour. Once he was gone, Carson put on Netflix and watched an episode of her show with Zeus before Steph got home. She was in a rush, too, having to get ready since she was going to the game that night with some of the other girlfriends. She tried multiple times to convince Carson to join her, but Carson was adamant about having an evening to herself, which Steph respected.

“I know you don’t want to come, but you’re sure there’s nothing I can do before I leave?” Steph asked as she battled with zipping up one of the tall boots she decided to wear that evening.

“I’m sure, Steph. You and Mitch have done enough for me,” Carson told her. “Go have fun tonight.”

“I’d have more fun if you came with me,” the blonde pouted, making Carson roll her eyes and smile at the dramatics. “But it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sure Zeusy will love having you to hang out with.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Carson then began scratching behind Zeus’ ears, which earned her a content noise from the chocolate lab before Steph spoke again.

“Ok. I’m going. You know to help yourself to any food or whatever, but please text me if you need anything or change your mind about coming.”

“You know I will,” Carson told her honestly. “I’ll watch from here and see you when you’re back tonight.”

“Ok, ok, I won’t press you anymore,” Steph said as she came over to give Zeus some love before leaving. “Alright, actually going now. Love ya!”

“Love ya too, have fun!”

And with that, it was just Zeus and Carson watching another episode of her show before it was game time.

Soon enough, the game started, and Carson hated that seeing Auston on the TV screen was still enough to feel a pang in her chest, but there was no arguing, just how much she missed him. As the game went on, Carson found herself paying more attention to Auston whenever the camera showed him than she did to the actual game, and before she knew it, the game was over.

The Leafs lost to the Blues, but Carson kept the channel on as post-game media started. She watched Will and Freddie do interviews and then felt her breath hitch when Auston came on the screen again. Hearing his voice answer questions about the game really hit her. It’d been almost two weeks since she last heard it, yet it still soothed her. She watched the entire interview, noticing how, along with the silver chain Auston wore around his neck, he was also wearing the Cartier love necklace that matched the one she wore. Both pieces of jewelry peaked out from Auston’s shirt, but when reporters kept bombarding him with questions, Carson noticed how he reached up to fiddle with the love necklace, gently rubbing his thumb over the two circles that linked in the middle.

It was then Carson decided she needed to talk to him as soon as possible. She wasn’t beating around the bush anymore; she knew they needed to speak, and there was no point in pushing it back then chickening out. But, as she waited to reach out to Auston, hoping he was home, her nerves returned, and she started convincing herself it wasn’t a good idea.

Carson’s heart pounded as she glanced at her phone again from where it lay between her and Zeus on the couch and debated what to do.

It was nearing 10:30pm. It had been over an hour since the game ended, and Carson knew Mitch and Steph wouldn’t return home immediately. Instead, they had plans to go out with some of the other guys and their girlfriends since the Leafs didn’t play for another few days. Mitch and Steoh invited Carson to join again, but she declined because she felt uncomfortable being the odd one out.

Carson didn’t know if Auston went with the group. There was a good chance that he did, and that was feeding into her debate about not calling him, but she wanted to. She needed to talk to him.

So, with a deep breath to calm her heart, Carson unlocked her phone. She opened the messages app and didn’t need to scroll to find her conversation with her boyfriend.

Carson felt like the wind was knocked out of her when she saw Auston’s name with the red heart emoji beside it and the photo of them in Arizona that past summer set as his contact picture. That feeling didn’t go away as she glanced at the text thread between them.

Despite not properly talking for almost two full weeks, Auston still messaged her every one of those days since their fight, saying that he loved her, missed her, was sorry and hoped she had a good day. The day after their fight, he still tried calling in hopes that Carson would pick up, but during his talk with Mitch, he was reminded that his constant calling was a bit overwhelming for her as she navigated her feelings about the situation. So, Auston opted to send texts.

Carson didn’t read or respond to any of those texts when she received them, but she found comfort as she scrolled through and read each one at that moment. In the days following their argument, she didn’t know what to think or feel, but receiving those texts made her feel normal. They were part of her routine, and although it was hard for her not to read them or respond, Carson thought she couldn’t until she knew what she wanted to say. Auston continued to send those messages despite her ignoring them, showing that he still cared and was willing to be patient with her like he always had been for the entirety of their knowing each other.

This was why Carson decided it was her turn to be patient with him and hear him out in a calmer setting than the last conversation they had almost two weeks prior. So, with another deep breath, she tapped his name at the top of the screen and hit the call button when it popped up.

It didn’t even take two full rings for him to pick up.

“Carse?” Auston’s voice sounded through the phone, making Carson’s breath hitch again. God, she missed him so much.

“H-hey,” Carson stammered before pausing in an attempt to recollect herself. “How are you?”

“I, uhm, I’m okay,” he responded, sounding surprised and as if he was still processing that he was talking to her. “Busy with hockey stuff, same old. How are you?”

“I’ve been better, and I’m sure you are. I still can’t believe you’ve got that ‘A’ on your jersey now, Aus. You deserve it. I was so proud seeing it for the first time in person during the home opener.”

“You were at that game?”

Carson nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Yeah,” she almost whispered. “Mitch and Steph were trying to convince me to go 'cause I was originally going to watch from their place, but I didn’t decide until the last minute to actually go. So, I bought a ticket and went alone.”

“I wish you had told me,” Auston told her softly, which pulled on her heartstrings. “I would’ve wanted to know that you were there.”

“I know, but I didn’t know how Auston. Just seeing you out there made me so happy but so sad at the same time.”

Auston sighed at that.

“Carson, please know how sorry I am. I’ve spent the last two weeks beating myself up so much over this, and not saying I don’t deserve it, but fuck. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too,” Carson admitted, deciding there was no need to hide her feelings from him.

“Is that why you called?” Auston asked, his voice a mix of unsureness and hopefulness.

“It is. I, um, I know it’s late, but are you home? Maybe I could come over, and we can talk.”

“Yes, please. I just got back. Please come home er-, I mean over. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No, it’s okay,” Carson responded quickly, not wanting to be in such close proximity to him until she was at the condo. “Thank you, though.”

“Then, at the very least, let me order an Uber over here for you,” Auston suggested, not missing a beat.

“Auston, you don’t have to do that.”

“I insist. Please let me order it. I’d feel better if I could make sure you get here safely. Would they be picking you up from Mitch’s?”

“Ok,” Carson sighed in defeat. “And yes, it’s just Zeusy and me here.”

“Ok, perfect,” Auston said. “It says they’ll be there in five minutes. Is that too soon?”

“No, that’s great. I’ll put on my shoes and head downstairs.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

“Love y-,” Carson started but immediately cut herself off, then internally cursed herself because who was she kidding? Of course, she still loved him. “I’ll see you soon. Bye, Auston.”

Once she hung up the phone, Carson wasted no time getting off the couch and rushing to the front door to get her sneakers on.

“I’m sorry, Zeusy,” Carson muttered to the lab, who was rudely awoken from his slumber when she stood up but was still happy as he trailed after her. Zeus looked up at her expectantly, thinking he was going outside with her, and Carson felt terrible for leaving him behind, wasting no time to crouch down and pet him after her sneakers were on. “I know. I’m the worst for not taking you outside again, even though I did an hour ago. But how about I give you a treat? Will that make up for it?”

Zeus’ tail started wagging at that, so Carson quickly stood up straight again and ran into the kitchen to grab him a treat. Then, with one final pet goodbye, she rushed out the door.

As Carson waited for the elevator, she texted Mitch and Steph to tell them she was going over to Auston’s to talk because she knew they’d come back wondering where the hell she had gone otherwise. Both were quick to text back.

“Good luck, babe. Let me know how it goes,” read Steph’s message.

“Are you sure? Are you staying there? I’ll wait up so you can tell me what’s going on,” Mitch texted back, making Carson smile at the difference between the two messages. They both cared but in very different ways.

She messaged them each back, saying she’d keep them posted, then entered the elevator and went to the lobby. Upon seeing her reflection in the mirror that covered the elevator wall, Carson made an unimpressed noise. The thought of changing hadn’t even crossed her mind as she rushed out of Mitch’s condo, but she sure didn’t love that the first time she talked to Auston in person in two weeks, she’d be wearing an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Carson quickly reached up to take her long brown hair out of the messy bun it was in and tried to make it look presentable, but then remembered Auston wouldn’t care about her looking like that. He’d seen her in similar outfits over the almost three years they’d been in a relationship.

Carson knew she didn’t need to impress him but still wished she looked a little better than she did.

Once the elevator reached ground level, Carson inhaled as she stepped off and entered the lobby. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she was half expecting it to be Mitch or Steph, but it was Auston letting her know the details about the car that was picking her up. Carson replied to his message this time and let him know she saw the car was waiting outside. Auston asked her to tell him when she was in the car and when she got to their condo so he knew everything was alright, and Carson promised she would.

When she entered the Uber waiting outside, the driver expressed his surprise after Carson confirmed they were picking up a rider named Auston.

“Not going to lie, I thought I was picking up Auston Matthews, the Leafs player, for a minute when I saw the name,” the driver explained, and Carson had to contain the smile she felt tugging at her lips.

“No, sorry, just me,” she responded, chuckling but not telling them she was indeed on her way to see the Auston Matthews.

“That’s alright, maybe another time,” the driver teased, then turned their focus back to the road as they drove.

It was a short drive. In all honesty, Carson had walked to and from the two condo buildings many times before, but with it being so late, she didn’t want to be out walking alone. She also knew that if she’d even mentioned the thought of walking, Auston would’ve shut the idea down immediately. The Uber driver didn’t ask questions about the short trip either and made small talk, ironically about the Leafs, since that was the first thing they and Carson had discussed.

A few minutes later, after thanking her driver and getting out of the car, Carson was standing outside the condo building that she began calling home a little over a month prior. Another wave of nervousness hit her, but she quickly shook it off as she entered the building.

She got into the building easily, still having her keys and fob to allow her access. The concierge at the front desk recognized her, nodding and smiling as she walked by and went straight for the elevator to take her to her and Auston’s floor.

Carson almost walked right into the condo out of force of habit once she arrived at the door. However, her nagging thoughts made her stop just before she could and opted to knock instead. It didn’t take long for Auston to open the door.

He looked good, really good. He was clad in a simple outfit, a black Raiders sweater and a pair of grey sweatpants that Carson always complimented on how good they made his butt look. His hair was a little damp still from his postgame shower, and a shadow of a beard was growing, showing it’d been some time since he last shaved. Carson stood there in silence momentarily, just taking in being in the presence of her boyfriend once again.

“Hey,” Auston spoke up, snapping Carson from her trance. She didn’t realize how tense she was until she felt herself relax just by being so close to him again.

“Hi,” Carson replied, her voice already cracking. Tears immediately pooled in her eyes, suddenly reminding her of all the emotions she’d felt since the last time she and Auston spoke.

“Oh, Carse.”

It didn’t require any thinking. The moment Auston saw those tears, he stepped towards Carson and pulled her into his embrace. The gesture felt so natural. Carson immediately melted into his touch and wrapped her arms around his middle in a tight embrace while instinctively hiding her face against his chest, letting the familiar scent of his favourite body wash surround her.

“I missed you,” she whispered after the two of them stood there holding each other for a moment.

“I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything in my life, Carson,” Auston replied, not missing a beat while tightening his squeeze around her. “I don’t want to open my eyes right now because what if I do and you’re not actually here? And this was just a fever dream?”

Carson couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her mouth as she shook her head, still pressed against his chest, and then finally moved back and looked at him. Still, neither of them unwrapped their arms from around the other.

“I’m here. And we need to talk, Auston.”

“I know, I know,” Auston spoke softly as he finally let go of Carson, but only to reach up so he could cup her cheeks and use his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “God, I’m so happy to see you. But, you’re right. Let’s go inside so we can talk.”

Carson nodded in agreement and let her arms fall from Auston’s waist to her sides again, but Auston was quick to reach down his right hand and link it with her left hand, squeezing it after Carson intertwined their fingers, then leading her into the condo.

Once inside, Carson glanced around after she took her shoes off and walked further inside, not sure what she was expecting. Not a thing was changed. The same fluffy grey throw blanket she bought was still on the couch except instead of it being draped over the side neatly, it was bunched up and tossed to the side, indicating Auston had been using it. Her gaze then drifted to the walls and nearby bookshelf, which still had the same pictures of her and Auston and others of them with their friends and families displayed. On the bookshelf was her collection of books and trinkets she adored and the TV showed the paused episode of The Office Auston must’ve been watching when she called.

Carson felt at home again for the first time in two weeks and it was a perfect feeling.

“Uhm, can I get you water or anything?” Auston asked after a moment of observing Carson look around their living room, not missing how a small smile tugged at her lips as she did so.

“I’m alright, thank you,” Carson replied as she shook her arms so the sleeves of her sweater would fall since she’d pushed them up in the Uber. The sweater was large on her and it showed in the way the sleeves covered most of her hands. She then began to fiddle with and rub the hem of the sleeve between her fingers, something she tended to do when she felt uneasy or anxious. Auston knew that and wished she wasn’t feeling such a way, but mostly wished she didn’t feel that way because of him.

“Of course. Should, uh, should we sit?”

“Yeah, let's.”

The two of them made their way to the couch and sat down next to each other. It was a comfortable distance, but there was still a noticeable space between them which felt a thousand times bigger to Auston. He hated it. If it were up to him Carson would be right next to him with her legs over his thighs, both cuddled under the throw blanket as she told him about her day and he played with her hair while listening. He was yearning but was brought back to reality when Carson spoke again.

“I think you should start.”

“R-right,” Auston stuttered, shaking his little daydream from his head but not being able to hide how lost in his thoughts he got momentarily. However, he knew exactly what he wanted to say, he’d been thinking about it for almost two weeks. “You’re right. And I’m just going to start with how sorry I am, Carse. I’m sorry for what I did in Arizona and how it affected someone because of my ignorance and stupid drunk actions. I’m sorry that when me and you last talked, I didn’t take ownership of how I messed up. I know that what I did wasn’t ok. I wish I could take it all back. And I’m sorry that during all of this, I hurt you. I should’ve been honest with you about the charge as soon as it happened. It’s not an excuse, but I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to be ashamed of me. I told my family I would tell you, which is why they didn’t say anything, but I was a coward. It’s not that I didn’t trust you whatsoever, Carson. I trust you with everything I have, I was just stupid and thought I could ignore what happened. That it wouldn’t matter and I could move on with life normally. I should’ve known better. I made a huge mistake and I’m learning from it. I know I’m better than this, but I want to learn from it so I can move forward properly and nothing like this ever happens again. I don’t expect you to fully forgive me right away either, but you make me a better person. I know I can learn a lesson and grow from this. But, I really want you by my side as I do, if you’re still willing.”

Carson was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop the tears flowing as she hung on to every word Auston said to her. This conversation was already so different from the last one they had. She could tell the toll everything was taking on him and knew the weight of it all was crushing. But, he was taking full responsibility, seemingly accepting that this all happened on his own accord.

“I’m proud of you, Auston,” Carson spoke softly as she wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater. “I feel like I’m having a conversation with a completely different person than I did two weeks ago.”

Auston felt good hearing that. During their fight, Carson voiced that she didn’t feel like she was talking to the man she loved. That, in that moment, he didn’t feel like home anymore to her, which hit Auston hard because Carson would always say it didn’t matter where they were as long as they were together, because he was her home. Hearing her say that was what pushed him over the edge that night truly realizing how badly he fucked up, but it was too late. Carson was already heading out the door and Auston couldn’t stop her.

“It shows me that you are learning from this and that’s really good,” she continued. “You owe that to that woman you distressed. But also the team, the fans, your family and yourself.”

“I owe it to you, too.”

“I appreciate you saying that, but this isn’t about me. However, that does lead me to talk about us.”

Carson paused to take a breath, already feeling herself get emotional again, but was soon met by Auston gently linking their hands together and stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. When she didn’t pull away, Auston gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

“When I found out you kept something so significant away from me, I was hurt,” Carson said. “I felt betrayed, but also shocked because I never ever thought I’d feel the way I did and you being the one that caused it. I felt everything we built together, was a lie. Our castle was crumbling down because it seemed like you couldn’t trust me and I wasn’t sure I could trust you to not keep important things from me again. It was devastating feeling that way about the man I love more than anything in this world. We’re partners, Auston. And you didn’t treat me like one doing that.”

“I know, and again, I am so sorry, Carson. I never wanted you to feel that way and I feel terrible for being the reason you did. I-I can’t blame you for leaving,” Auston’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence as he felt the words getting stuck in his throat. “Watching you walk out that door was one of the worst nights of my life. You’re my rock and suddenly that was gone and it was all my fault. I hardly slept not knowing when or if you’d come back, but I had to keep hoping, praying that you would. Part of me convinced myself Mitch was going to tell me that you weren’t coming back ever and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he did. I was a mess, I still am. These last two weeks have been hell and I deserved it. And I’m not saying this to guilt you into making a decision now, but Carse, if you did want to leave and not come back to this, us, I need to know. The not knowing is killing me. I don’t want to lose you, but I need to know if I have.”

Carson inhaled deeply again.

“The thing about these last two weeks, with how upset and angry I was at myself and you and the situation, not once did I think I no longer wanted to be with you. I love you, Auston. I knew I didn’t want to break up, but I wasn’t sure if staying in a relationship with you was what would be best for me. I fell into a depressive hole myself. I never thought I’d feel that low because of you and I wasn’t sure if I could forgive and move on or if this would have me feeling I could never trust you again. I can’t let myself get this destroyed by the person who is supposed to be my partner again, not after my ex. But, Auston, you are not him. You never will be him and that’s why, even with the space we’ve had since our fight, I knew I’d be coming back to you. I love you too fucking much to not even try to work through this and move forward together. I don’t want you to think we’re over because of this.”

Auston didn’t realize just how many tears had welled in his eyes until he let out a relieved sigh and smiled, allowing a couple of those tears to break free and stream down his face.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that,” he said and squeezed her hands again.

“You have no idea how badly I needed to get that off my chest and actually tell you,” she replied and let out a small laugh at how emotional they both were. “God, we’re such messes.”

“I’ll accept being the biggest mess ever to exist if it means you’ll be by my side as I clean myself up.”

“Well, I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere. I mean it, Auston. You haven’t lost me.”

“Thank, God,” Auston sighed, feeling like so much weight had been lifted off his chest. “We’re good?”

“We’re good,” Carson confirmed, smiling as Auston let go of her hands and then held his arms out. She was quick to launch herself into his embrace and hold on for dear life while he fell back onto the couch cushion and she laid on top of him, feeling the safest and most content she had in weeks. “I’m glad to be home.”

“I’m never going to give you a reason to feel like you have to leave home again, Carse. That’s a promise.” Auston declared as he kissed the top of her head and started playing with her hair. “I love you, Carson.”

“And I love you, Auston,” Carson replied as she moved her head from Auston’s chest so she could look at him.

The two lay there for a moment looking at each other as Auston continued playing with Carson’s hair, debating his next move. He couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted to her lips, missing the way they felt against him so badly. He wanted nothing more than to cup her cheek with his hand and close the small gap between them with the kiss he craved. However, even though Auston knew he and Carson were good, he also knew they weren’t back to normal. Things being normal again would take time and Auston was ok with that. It didn’t matter how much time it may take because he had his love back and he wasn’t going to take any chances with anything that could push her away again.

Much to Auston’s pleasant surprise, though, Carson was the one to delicately place her hand under his chin and tilt it up before crashing her lips against his in a sweet, intimate kiss.

As soon as their lips met, Auston deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arm around her and rolled them over so that Carson’s back would be on the couch and he was on top. He used one arm to hold himself up and keep most of his weight off of her while his other hand cupped her cheek and jaw to prevent the kiss from breaking, finally getting what he had spent the last two weeks yearning for.

After a few moments of kissing, they pulled away to look at each other and laugh at how out of breath they both were. But that didn’t stop Auston from leaning in and stealing one more kiss.

“Will you stay over tonight?” He asked softly, not wanting her to feel pressured if she wasn't ready to come back home fully yet. “It’s an off day tomorrow and Mitch mentioned you weren’t going into the office, we could go get your work stuff from his place in the morning then come back here and have a lazy day together. Only if you want to, of course.”

“I would love that,” Carson replied, then pecked his lips again. “Let me tell Mitch and Steph I won’t be back tonight first, then can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”

“Of course, beb.”

After they untangled themselves from each other and Carson texted Mitch and Steph to say she was staying, she and Auston turned off the lights before heading to the bedroom together. Carson felt so good after changing into a pair of her pyjamas she grabbed them from the dresser and then crawled into her bed after a long, almost two weeks. The best part, though, was being back in that bed with Auston. He felt better too having Carson in his embrace again as he fought to stay awake, wanting to make sure she fell asleep first. Once she did, Auston let his tiredness take over him too and both he and Carson had one of the best sleeps of their lives, together again.

[memecucker]

Thinking about this time in college when I went to a start of year party at the dorm of my friend who also happened to become my neighbor that year and she had a roommate who I kinda like immediately clicked with like we shared similar interests and we kept returning to having conversations bc it felt like we were both interested in talking to the other and when I mentioned that I had a student membership at the Art Institute of Chicago and would study in the lounge she thought that was really cool and would like it if I could show her around it later on after she’s settled in. And I was thinking oh cool I got a date with a cool neighbor girl neat plus I’m friends with her roommate. So the next week my roommates and my friend and her roommates minus the one I was interested went out and I asked about her and my friend said she was busy and same thing next week and eventually my friend picked up that I liked her roommate and she got out that the girl I liked was trying to not sound rude and actually didn’t like going to clubs and holy shit neither did I I only came because I thought she would. So my friend said that next weekend the girl is gonna be out of town but after that she’ll try one more time to get her to come and if not she’ll throw a room party so the two of us can chat again and I can ask her out. Sweet

Anyway one of the ppl she invited was an old high school guy friend that showed up a day early (while the girl I was interested in was still out of town) to stay over and also this guy was a coke fiend that brought a lot of cocaine to share and he bragged about all the cocaine and he was bad enough of a coke fiend that he was picking it out of the carpet when the lines were finished which I thought it was funny bc it was pretty fucking shitty cocaine compared to what my ex-raver roommate had and also this guy was the son of the mayor of a Chicago suburb so he obviously has never faced consequences before type and also liked heavily quoting rap lyrics with the n word and also once left me in a room with my unconscious friend and closed the door behind him as if he was expecting me to do something and was giving a courtesy. Also got the vibe he may have invited himself over.

Anyway the next day at some point around noon the girl I was interested in came back and saw someone trashed in their living room and also broke into her room and trashed it and stole basically all the valuables and yes it was the scummy rich white boy coke fiend that somehow has coke that felt like it was cut with table salt son of Chicago suburb mayor that stole her stuff and somehow thought he’d get away with it which didn’t happen because his dad has no influence over Chicago PD or the girls family who happened to be lawyers.

So obviously she changed dorms and partially blames my friend for what happened for inviting or at least not kicking out/watching that guy and they then absolutely hated each other I won’t go into all the details.

Anyway that’s the story of how I accidentally influenced a chain of events that caused the the girl I was gonna ask out to get her room burglarized and incinerating the chances of actually getting a date bc what was I gonna say “hey remember me I’m the friend of the roommate that brought over a guy that robbed you? Wanna see the Andy Warhol exhibit?”