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thewertsearch · 8 months ago

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Mega-Giga Ask Comp: Part 3

@manorinthewoods asked: I'll be honest, I wrote the Locked Tomb ask having not read the Locked Tomb series. I literally only know the starting and ending strokes of the first book. That being said, I do like the half-soul-Sollux idea, and it works pretty well with the Locked Tomb's general theme of Lyctorhood, and how knotted the whole situation with Alecto, Gideon, and Harrow ends up being. (What is even going on with Nona) ~LOSS (4/13/24) @manorinthewoods asked: You know, if you hadn't already read Gideon the Ninth, I'd have recommended it as a good second liveblog. It really does fit your preferred sort of mystery. From all the clues presented, you could probably hit very close to the ultimate solution to the Lyctoral puzzle - as close as anybody could be expected to get. ~LOSS (25/4/24) @manorinthewoods asked: The Locked Tomb's prose is pretty good. On occasion, it happens to chime with a sound of 'Homestuck', but I only recall that twice so far in my reading. I like the skelebook. ~LOSS (27/4/24)

Once again, I'm glad my hidden agenda - convincing this blog's entire readership to check out The Locked Tomb - is bearing fruit.

I agree! TLT does occasionally give Homestuck vibes, presumably because its author is a fan. For the most part, though, its prose style is all its own.

Anonymous asked: Reference to American culture: the sphere of Jade's home dropping and the timer that preceded it are references to the Times Square Ball, an annual event held every New Year's Eve. A giant ball descends down a pole at 11:59 PM and reaches the bottom at 12:00 AM, January 1. I believe that you can figure out why the reference was included in the first place. Anonymous asked: btw the gamzee page was released on new years. ‘the miracle of a new beginning’ is the new year and the lab dropping is supposed to be a reference to the ball dropping in times square

Some America Lore here that I wasn't aware of.

I was wondering exactly what Gamzee meant by 'a new beginning'. Maybe Alternia practices the tradition as well.

@omnilew asked: the way you speculate and go indepth into sburbs features and how it affects the kids, made a silly headcanon that your kidsona is reading the comic while playing out their session though this is mainly because "Eventually, we were bound to cross a couple of wires that should never have been allowed to touch" kinda references chargerkind

I like it! Maybe my 'sonas have access to a more in-depth version of Rose's walkthrough, and are adding their own commentary in quiet moments during their own adventures.

@manorinthewoods asked: Your excitement over the resurrection of Dream Jade gave me a form of suspenseful mirth. Seeing how happy you were at her resurrection, while also knowing exactly what came of it, is perhaps textbook dramatic irony. If only you'd read a panel further… ~LOSS (26/4/24)

She looked so happy to be back, too! That certainly didn't last long.

She was prototyped with a smiling corpse, though. Maybe that was just her 'default' expression, and it vanished as soon as her actual feelings asserted themselves.

@thetinygladiator asked: 'I hadn’t really thought about Sally’s ectobiological parent - but now that I am, I think the funniest possible option is that it’s her landlady.' okay but i just gotta say… this immediately makes me think about how that relates to the house-building aspect. Like, with the giant tower, are they gonna charge the Imps for rent? That might work, honestly. Where do imps even live? Bet they don't have good AC or Wi-Fi, lemme tell ya.

300 GRIST/DAY NO CRUXTRUDER NO ALCHEMY NO PETS

@manorinthewoods submitted: How many computers would you have on your person if you were playing Sburb? Jade recommends at least 5. I say I'd have a laptop, phone, a spare of both of those, and computer gloves if I need to compute really fast. Also spare gloves. Speaking of the phone - is it possible for people to put phones in their pockets? Given Karkat (and a minor gag in Act 6), we can assume that it's difficult or uncommon to carry items without using the Sylladex - or maybe it's just tied to your dexterity, and you have to hold things gingerly to avoid captchaloguing them when you pick them up. On the other hand, there's no issues with accidentally storing something you've unstored and are using - so how does the Sylladex actually work? Do people just instinctively store their items once they're done using them? Is it difficult to avoid storing something you aren't using anymore? Can you stuff phones in pockets? If not, then why develop a PDA in the first place? Given the Sylladex, it should be much more commercially viable to make a tablet. ~LOSS (24/4/24)

Since Karkat can physically pick up a book, you can probably pocket your gear - although maybe there's a difference between holding an object and trying to add it to a physical 'inventory'. Either way, the issue is easily circumvented by employing wearable tech, like the kids do.

As depicted in my alchemy binge, my primary computing device would be the Pocket Holodex, which can remote into any computer in my sylladex.

In addition, my Modular Ring shirt is also a computer, which can presumably be augmented by adding extra mod1ules over time. I'd probably also captchalogue every computer in my apartment, of which I currently have six.

I'd be exploring the Medium with a minimum of seven computers, plus one pseudo-computer, plus a phone. Jade would certainly approve.

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: the tension in act 5 act 2 is perfect, i love it. maybe even moreso on rereads, the foreshadowing and generally ominous vibes always get to me @heliotropopause asked: You're getting to the part where the comic really starts hitting its stride. This'll be fun.

The ever-present countdown certainly adds a degree of urgency to the situation.

I'm really liking the pacing of this current act, as things slowly progress towards some critical point - one which, for now, is still shrouded in mystery.

Anonymous asked: Forwarding another ask for the person with no account ~DJ: Eridan's deal seems to be based on Wizardry Herbert - a proto-Homestuck work by Hussie. A parody of Harry Potter dealing with whether magic is real. [] But Methods of Rationality began in February 2010, so "Harry Potter but obsessed with science" might have also been an intentional reference to that.-RM @heliotropopause asked: Eridan Ampora and the Methods of Rationality sure is an idea for a fanfic. He'd be so bad at it.

Eridan would be an extremely funny choice for a ratfic protagonist. He'd be so smarmy about it - and thus, a perfect addition to their ranks.

What would the definitive Homestuck ratfic be called, do you think? I think Tool-Assisted Speedrun would be a decent choice.

@killedthekat asked: An interesting thing about doomed timelines is how they serve to prevent stable loop metagaming. As a basic example, in a typical stable time loop scenario, if you observe yourself unharmed in the future, you can throw yourself into high danger high reward situations and know that probability will twist itself into whatever improbable knot it needs to do to keep you safe. But in homestuck if you lean too hard on predestination you just get shunted into a doomed timeline for your trouble.

It's true. Timehopping just isn't fun in Homestuck, as you're constantly walking a tightrope, desperately trying to stay in the one timeline that might not get you killed.

It's a good way to prevent time-travelers from becoming overpowered - something which is probably necessary for a comic which makes such heavy use of the concept.

Anonymous asked: Now that you're updating while HS^2 is, I've realised that while I'm barely keeping up with ^2, I just yelled "Oh! Upd8!" out loud when I checked your blog, so to me? You're the real continuation of Homestuck

What an honor!

For veterans of the comic, this blog is more Homestuck: Revisited than Homestuck 2. As a woman who would much rather watch video essays about old Simpsons episodes than new seasons of the show, I completely understand why some would prefer the latter.

@manorinthewoods asked: I've since finished Worm. I think Sophia's by far the best Vriska candidate. Lisa, Amy, and Colin are less so, I think. ~LOSS (21/4/24)

Oh, nice, you got all the way through it! Worm is an absolute behemoth, and I know a lot of people who started it, and gave up halfway through.

Sophia is likely the closest match to Vriska in personality. I agree with an earlier comment, though, that the most Vriska-like character in terms of audience reaction is probably Amy.

Anonymous asked: Cannot believe someone would propose a Homestuck/Locked Tomb scenario and leave Gamzee as part of a spare pairing, when the Homestuck fic The Serendipity Gospels, written by the author of The Locked Tomb, stars Gamzee and Terezi in the proto-necromancer/cavalier dynamic. Absolutely appropriate to have Gamzee as Ninth though, since his facepaint is the direct ancestor to Harrow's. Gamzee and Terezi is such a funny pairing to go with. I'm certainly looking forward to checking out The Serendipity Gospels when I'm done with the comic - both to compare it to Homestuck and to the Locked Tomb.

As am I. Apparently it was left unfinished - but considering how long this liveblog is taking, maybe Taz will have updated by the time I'm done!

Wishful thinking, of course, but I live in hope.

@bladekindeyewear submitted:

(I started Dragon's Dogma 2 a couple weeks ago and did my best to a Gideon Nav pawn (NPC ally), facepaint and two-hander and all, and the "Jaunty Straightforward" voice selection has been EXTREMELY distracting / game-improving because her voice and attitude chatting beside my player all the time sound almost straight out of the audiobook.)

Damn, you really captured her essence. Pawn is a very fitting title for her, too :(

@manorinthewoods asked: On the topic of blood color names - Blue through Purple were renamed in Hiveswap. Originally, Vriska was Cerulean, Equius was Blue, and Gamzee was Indigo - which I like more than their modern incarnations. I think 'bronze' might also be a Hiveswap thing, although I won't dispute it, and rust might have been renamed to burgundy? Maybe burgundy is a synonym. Idk. ~LOSS (4/13/24)

I think I prefer the likes of olive, indigo and bronze over more generic terms like green, blue and brown, which would quickly lead to confusion.

Vriska's blood, for example, is also a shade of blue, so it would be a little strange if blue blood was an official term, but it didn't apply to her.

@mxamericanblue asked:hi i have been absolutely BINGING your live blog rn and i gotta just get this out this is so so cool watching you react has been giving me so much joy, i don't have a computer so i can't really experience homestuck again casually when i want to but watching you read it and react and THEORIZE??? omg your theories have been so fuckin killer it's given me a new appreciation for Hussie as a story teller and how spectacular this comic truly was thank you for this, i've been having a grand ol' time, and it's all cuz of u

Thank you! I feel like I've been theorizing a lot less since I came back from my hiatus, mostly because the comic hasn't introduced many big mysteries recently - aside, of course, from Aradia's unexplained explosion.

(Pre-posting update: Since first drafting this ask, my statement above is no longer true, as Gamzee has been revealed as Homestuck's most important character. What the actual fuck.)

@lilietsblog asked: re fifth house aradia: she's an archeolodist :)

Oh, shit, you're right.

Maybe she'd be in more danger from the Lyctor than I thought.

@ben-guy asked: Vriska's ascension to god-tier is, in my personal opinion, one of the most visually striking scenes in all of Homestuck. Also, one of the panels you didn't include (which is understandable w/ Homestuck lol. Sacrifices for the sake of brevity) specifically the one where she has him write "[…] plenty of time for that l8r" above her head… Think about the position she would have had to move him to to write that.

…jesus, Vriska. You can't just do that!

@martinkhall asked: "What is treasure but a fortune, waiting to be found?" Or stolen if you're the THIEF of Light.

Son of a bitch. That's why she's a pirate, isn't it?

Because a Thief of Light is someone who steals fortunes!

@manorinthewoods asked: Eidolons. A species purpose-built to play Sburb, while breaking every mechanic you can solely with biology. Eidolons don't sleep, and live in a hive mind. Their psychologies are very poor at recognising distinct things, with Eidolons seeing the world more in terms of a blur of colors and shapes. They thus have a very difficult time understanding Classes and Aspects, never mind that their mythology never involved deities, and they never invented chess, or games of any sort… ~LOSS (15/4/24)

The idea of a species engineered from the ground up to be Players does raise the interesting question of whether there was a first species to play Sburb.

Of course, with all the time-loops we've been working with, there might not have been a first species - unless Sburb was 'created' in some sort of metatemporal space, 'before' any loops were put in place.

@manorinthewoods submitted: You are very good at analysing Vriska's psyche. Vriska's character was executed very well, I think, and I would hate her with a burning passion platonically but to a high degree if I knew her in real life. She's just… really horrible. She's a horrible person. And half her shtick is that she keeps evading consequences in spite of that. All of her mental torture of Tavros, for instance, ends in her becoming the most powerful player in the session. What sort of justice is that, Terezi? ~LOSS (15/4/24)

She hasn't entirely evaded consequences, but it's undeniable that none of the consequences she's experienced have actually stopped her from doing the things she does.

She's lost an arm, an eye, she's been beaten up, she's bled to death, and literally none of it has caused her to let up on Tavros, even a little. Letting up on Tavros, to her, would be worse than any physical harm, because it would be an attack on her worldview.

@sanctferum asked: "Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t." - The general feel I've gotten from the community has been largely positive re: the new Homestuck 2 updates, which have indeed been happening. It's being updated once per month for now, so a lot slower going than non-hiatused OG Homestuck. But I'm enjoying it so far!

Once a month seems more sustainable than Hussie's original barely-believable pace for the comic. With Hussie no longer at the helm, expecting daily panels seems like a pretty big ask - most people don't have the time, money or energy do what Hussie did.

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you read UTDR fanfiction, but this Tavros and Vriska situation reminds me a little bit of Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. she's trying to push him to his limits and torture him into being someone who will kill, and he just won't. say, what's your read on comparing Flowey : Vriska?

Flowey does what he does because he's lost his emotions, but Vriska does what she does because she's consumed by her emotions.

If anything, Flowey has more in common with Aradia. They're both time-travelers whose ability to feel is somewhat compromised.

Anonymous asked: WHATTTTTT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BACK???????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ON A LONG ASS HIATUS BUT I JUST JOW DISCOVERED TUMBLR ISNT GIVING ME POST NOTIFICATIONS FOR YOU ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT TURNED ON FOR YOU AND IT WORKS FOR OTHER BLOGS???? WHAT THE HELL. IM GOING INSANE.

This has happened before - but before, I was also removed from Tumblr's search function, which doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Is anyone else having issues with Wertsearch post notifications?

@elkian asked: So has anyone mentioned the godhood joke yet? (The God Tiers costumes have hoods. God Hoods. Badum-tish)

LOL, I did miss that.

Anonymous asked: Fun Homestuck fact! After writing Karkat, someone brought up that the writer of the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book sounded a lot like Karkat. Andrew responded by telling them to imagine that it was actually written in all caps, basically canonizing that the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book was written by Karkat. At least, I think that's how that went? ~LOSS (28/2/23)

And it could be any Karkat, too. Maybe one of the Karkats from a doomed timeline actually learned to code from Sollux, and became a famous ~ATH developer.

@morganwick asked: So with conversation 8=8 apparently taking place in the immediate aftermath of Rose destroying her gate (even technically during Descend), and Rose's attitude towards Kanaya in the part of it that we see, does that change how much you think her attitude in their previous conversations reflects her genuine mental state?

Oh yeah, no, I’m pretty sure she was genuinely in a bad mood here. Not really so much because of Kanaya, and I think the anger directed at Kanaya specifically was inauthentic, but the bad mood itself was real. She'd recently been injected with several months of traumatic memories, after all.

@manorinthewoods asked: That panel, of John in Vriska's 'fabulous outfit', is actually pretty neat, because you can see from the proportions how young John really is. He's small, not even fully a teenager yet, and he's been thrown into this chaotic world of humans and trolls, quadrants, violence and danger. Everyone in the game must be scared, in some degree, but none of them ever show it. It makes you wonder just how strong Skaia's children really are. ~LOSS (29/4/23)

Seriously. In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes? Sburb has some very funny ideas about the optimal way it should be played.

I suppose this is something that had to be true, though, for Homestuck to be the coming-of-age story that Hussie wanted it to be.

Anonymous asked: My interpretation has always been that "the Blind Prophets" are actually just Terezi herself, in a time loop-y/predestined way. She's blind, her class is Seer, AKA prophet, and those are her numerals. Also, on an unrelated note, but to weigh in on your last ask, according to Latin conventions, the plural of lusus is lusus. Does Homestuck follow those conventions? Well…

Or, since there are two Seers in Homestuck, maybe they’re Terezi and Rose. She’s a Light Player, so a blinding would be suitably ironic.

Anonymous asked: re: captchalogue codes and the states of objects: it takes a relatively small change in the physical arrangement of atoms and whatnot to turn a ghost dad poster into, say, a little monsters poster, but the two have a relatively large difference between their conceptual nature. on the other hand, it would take a relatively large rearrangement of atoms to make the slime pogo ride be anything other than a slime pogo ride. perhaps this makes the former change state more easily than the latter? alternatively, maybe the captcha system just knows that all it would really take to make the slime pogo ride stop being covered in oil is soap and water and it's happy to do that on its own, but paper is harder to clean so it wants you to jump through more hoops for that one new question: if john had used his posters for alchemy before he was able to see their defacement, would the resultant objects also be beclowned? evidence seems to suggest that players with unawakened dream selves Will draw on their walls in their sleep and not see it until Ready, so there not being mechanisms in place to deal with that seems less likely than the alternative to me, but especially considering people who aren't them Can see the drawings, how??? would that even??? work??? what would've happened if john had done alchemy with the arms cake. i think it would be funny to see that

I think he’d still get the clown posters.

The kids keep accidentally making magic items, so It's clearly possible for someone to alchemize an object with properties they didn't foresee. Therefore, I think John would make what appears, to him, to be a normal poster - but Rose would still see it as it truly is.

Anonymous asked: any thoughts on what the horrorterrors are? beyond their (admittedly vague) intentions?

I think they’re a sign of the wider cosmology beyond Sburb - and, more specifically, a sign that there is a wider cosmology beyond Sburb.

I don't know if we'll necessarily get more expansion on them than we've already had, because their whole shtick is that they're unknowable. Needless to say, I'd love to be proven wrong.

#asks #full liveblog #act 5.2 #ya girl also thought she had more asks to finish. I swear there were like ten but there were actually only two

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wylanzahn · 5 months ago

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New-ish post, kinda posting this on different platforms and getting a general vibe check for some ideas I have. But basically this Halloween I want to actually do something for the TTRPG and Actualplay world (oh yeah I’m into those kinds of things). I want to try and get both players, GMs, and casual viewers alike something fun to look forward to this especially spooky season. I’ll probably talk a little more when we get closer to the actual season of scare-giving but just know that if you’re interested I’m still looking for people to join in!!

As my team and I’d first debut we’re going to try and do a two to four session actual play, which will probably be released in the weeks leading up to Halloween. We’ve had a couple good friend way in on the matter of “setting” but now I come to you fine folk. Mind you this is a horror campaign/arc so if…

Isn’t your thing, keep on a moving.

But without further ado here are a couple of the possible settings for our players, and myself, this coming espookee season…

1.) Somewhere off the coast of Florida, 1926 end of the first major housing boom in the state, a small island which calls back to the Spanish Empire, is Isla Boñyela, a small port made tourist location during the boom of disposable wealth in 1920s America. A small group of friends from the northeast tag along down for the perfect paradise vacation. Only to discover the island is much much older than anyone could have ever assumed. Whilst dealing with upstart gangsters, unnerving US soldiers, and the terrified locals they find something older than even undead conquistadors.

While I don’t have a working title, this is an old project in the running which I’ve had a few attempts at revamping over time. Its previous title was “perfect paradise vacation,” and runs on the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition game. Anywho it’s a blast of fun with Caribbean lore, tone of anti-imperialism, and something dark lurking beneath the waves.

2.) 1950’s America, the nonexistent state of Mid-Atlantia (DMV coded) in a small suburban neighborhood where nothing goes wrong… it’s almost “All-Hallows-Eve” and little Johnny and Susie want nothing more than to trick or treat this year with all the big kids, Dad’s finally getting the big promotion at work, and Mom just got a new waffle iron! Sure everything is neat here in America. Heck you just got new neighbors! Newlyweds in fact from somewhere big and fancy, they sure aren’t like any of us in our simple town. But… and you can’t say exactly why but things are different. Or perhaps they’re all too the same? Everyday a repeat of ever other bland day that followed you over and over and over and over… and you could swear, while no one may listen to you there’s someone out there. Stalking you from outside your own home- or- perhaps, he’s just your friendly new neighbor welcoming you… to the end.

Ahhhhhh! I’ve also been working on this one for a sec and god writing it out does excite me. This is also a Call of Cthulhu game but modified/homebrewed to have a uniquely 1950s horror feel. This is definitely one of the more unique games I’ve written and am truly interested in seeing where it goes (even if we don’t choose it). This is for those who feel like isolation, fear of the unknown, fear from within, and liminal space horror comes best into play! So whadya say neighbor?

3.) The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend, or How I Learned to Love Strahd, okay so this one is a lot less horror-y and falls much more under the comedic spooky category, just so yall know. Deep in the middle of Barovia, the ancient kingdom of Vampires, meets a council of Count Strahd von Zarovich's greatest commanders and lieutenants to hunt down Strahd's greatest enemy Rudolph van Richten and his party of heroes known as "The Grape-Smashers." Strahd's lieutenants have been gifted powers greater than any mere mortals, but are these gifts enough to stop Van Richten, or even enough to stop the personal ambitions of each other? Come find out in "How I Learned to Love Strahd."

Okay, as much as this may seem like a joke suggestion it cracks me up and I feel like it would be ill-advised of me to not at least mention it. In an era where "The Curse of Strahd," is well-overdone at this point, it's worth a take from an all evil "revenge story." Obviously this will be in Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, which, in my opinion, is really hard to use for horror, but this is a nice go-around. Come for the evil PCs, maybe a PvP battle or two, and a game of intrigue in the shadows of Barovia! All that and a buff Van Richten.

4.) Before Annapolis was ever called such it was known as Providence, a settlement of exiled Puritans in the Province of Maryland, but these early days were no easy set-up for the far-flung protestants... in the mid 1600s the English Civil War spilled out into their holdings across the waves as brother turned on brother, clan erasing clan, and something from the shores of the Old World would arrive in the New. When around every corner could be someone you've known your whole life, what's stopping them from hunting you in the depths of winter. All matters made worse when rumors of a witch begins circulating your small home.

Think "The VVitch" (2015) meets "A Field in England" (2013) meets Atun Shei's recent film "The Sudsbury Devil" (2023). It is the unexplored wilderness of early colonial Maryland, but the hateful warmongering that slowly builds that makes the horror and tension so clear. Unsure of what system we'll be using, but maybe the new Regency Cthulhu system.

5.) The Great Baltimore Fire of 1904 destroyed some 140 Acres of Baltimore proper... and in it's rubble awakened something far worse. But you and your fellow survivors are just trying to get by in the aftermath of the fire... only for something to call out, whether some strange magicks or perhaps just a sickness... but sickness doesn't even linger like this... it doesn't call to you...

Some more local history, aspiring from the actual Fire of 1904 things quickly devolve from there as rumors of a cult begin to spread along the streets of Rosland Park... a mysterious illness leaving even more dead... and the death of an eclectic professor. Definitely using the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition for this one.

Aaaaaaaand that's it! Let me know what y'all think!

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prongsmydeer · 23 days ago

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Ayesha Liveblogs XO, Kitty S1

Logistically, I don't know how a minor could apply for a school program without their parent's consent. Did Kitty just pass a form to Dr. Covey at some point without him knowing what he was signing?

"Did I just let my youngest daughter go to Korea to have sex with her boyfriend?" "No! No. Maybe." That's why they needed to have a white dad LOL. My family would be aghast

Very American of Kitty to consider "No English," in Korea, a rude response

"Oh, by the way, I decided to surprise him. He has no idea I'm coming." I'm sure that won't lead to any unforeseen consequences, Kitty

"I don't know anyone who'd do something like that." "Well, now you do. I'm Kitty." I immediately like Yuri, high femme chaebol gal who befriends with girls she hits with cars

Also think Kitty's supposed to be like 16 or 17, but immediately everyone we've seen from KISS looks a solid 5 five years older than her, minimum

"I can give you until tonight. If you can't pay by then, your enrollment will be cancelled." Things are not going well for Long-Distance Boyfriend Dae, it seems

"Apparently their housekeepers so you and Juliana... embracing last week?" Oh, she high femme for real. It does make me laugh that she's a lesbian called Yuri

"Her name was Eve Song?" "Huh. That doesn't ring a bell." Is Lesbianism a Han family tradition? Because that was a suspicious way to respond to someone bringing up your old friend

"God damn it, Q. This is bespoke!" While I am not well-versed in the lingo of Korean international schools, I don't think a teenage boy has ever said this

I was about to say the Dae reunion was going better than I thought it would, but then Yuri showed up holding onto him. Contextually, it seems like she's probably paying his tuition to cover her gayness, which then forces him into being unable to be honest with Kitty at the cost of his own schooling. It's all very icky

Very bold of Kitty to assume that literally anyone exiting the dance after her would be Dae. And she was confident enough to shout it from 20 feet away!

"You know I told my mum we've been dating since the summer, right?" "You know you only told me that four hours ago, right?" I enjoy Dae, he's spiteful little man

"I've just noticed that Americans speak louder than anyone else." I'll hand it to Alex, he's matching deranged introduction for deranged introduction

Where TATBILB was a very easy watch, so far XO Kitty is a hard watch in that the secondhand embarassment is through the roof. This is like a cartoon. Who is so comically ignorant of their surroundings?

WHY is Kitty in the Men's Dorm? Surely this is not a co-ed boarding school?

Update from 1 minute later: Song Covey gave boy vibes to the dormitory assigner, and that's all that was needed. How New Girl!

"I know you're trying to be a hero by letting that tourist crash here tonight, but this isn't a hostel." 1) It is her assigned dorm, Kitty is not crashing. 2) She may be a foreigner, but she is not a tourist. 3) Get got, Min Ho, you're a piece of work!

OHHHH Dae had the Dead Mum necklace, he just didn't want to give it up over this misunderstanding:

Yuri laughing at her dad terrorizing his employees reminds us all that before she is a lesbian, she is a rich person, and that means she is a little evil

What must Kitty make of this, her sort-of ex-boyfriend being forced into a PR conference in his pajamas?

"He will do better. So... 'lettuce' move on." Not Dae saving the Han Hotel Empire by being cute

"He's faking. That's a fake relationship!" Having such a weird relationship history in your family has to serve some purpose, and for Kitty, it has served acute observation skills

Over under odds on Kitty showing up directly at Dae's house somehow?

"It's fine. I already get made fun of in school anyway." Heartbreaking news from Dae's sister with duct-taped shoes

"And I promise, I can explain everything." Will that be before or after you sign the NDA, Dae?

"I'm with Juliana." "What does that mean? You're with Juliana?" "She was supposed to be at the welcome party. But she didn't come. All her social media's been deleted. And her phone's been disconnected too. I think her parents sent her away beause of me." Turns out Yuri is not that tough a shell to crack. Dae got through to her in seconds

Dae: I'm really sorry about your fucked up life, Yuri, would you care for a piggyback ride?

"No offence, but I hope we get to break up soon." "You and me both, kid." This is the polar opposite of Peter and Lara Jean's fake relationship. This is fully under duress

"But we didn't get to do any of the things we planned. New Year's Eve, northern lights, holding hands in public places. We were finally gonna get to be ourselves." [...] "Stay the fake shiny 'it' couple, so my parents forget about the rumours, and I'll be with you, kissing you, at midnight, in Iceland." Oh, to be solving life's woes over a leetle kiss with your girlfriend in the supply closet

Also: XO Kitty's first kiss on screen being Yuri and Juliana, hell yeah!

"You're well below the level of your peers here. And the work only gets more challenging." Wow, Professor Lee comes on strong with the hateorade. He didn't give Kitty a chance to fail

I did assume that Q was gay, but it is still exciting to see! And for him to be Persian and Filipino, very cool!

It feels so aggressive for Principal Lim (Yuri's Mum) to go straight from gritted teeth, "Don't mess up," to a soft, "Yuri-ah." GIRL

I expect I'll grow to like Min Ho, but man does he test my patience

"Now this is chemistry." Again, Kitty feels like she is a cartoon. The sole muppet in a sea of people

CRAZY butterfly effect of having Min Ho being a poopy baby leading to the destruction of Dae and Kitty's happiness

"I think my mom had a baby here." That is a direction I did not expect this to take!

Min Ho, you can't be poor little rich boy bc your actress mum is too busy for you. Yuri is already poor little rich girl, and she outranks you, bc she is more charming, gay, and fashionable

Min Ho is insufferable and deserves whatever Punishment Madison the K-Pop Stan Unleashes Upon Him

Kitty does really make having a dead mom 50% of her personality

"My mom would take me to the department store and forget me there." See, Yuri wins! Also, same

"You know that our moms knew each other at KISS? Crazy, right?" [Absently] "Yeah, crazy." Money's on Yuri's mum being involved in the adoption of the secret baby

Kitty continues to be a cartoon character in thinking she can break into a hospital record room illegally in a country of which she is not a resident. Girl, they can deport you whenever! Go file an information request to the local government, you Jim Henson Character of a Teenage Girl

"ADOPTED TO AUSTRALIA"????? ARE YOU TELLING ME NEW TEACHER ALEX IS THEIR BROTHER???????????? THAT IS BANANAS

"Q? Maybe just me and you next time?" Somehow Min Ho, has, in being terrible, circled back to being helpful in the Q + Florian romance

"Well one of your parents is Korean, right? Mine are both white." "Really?" "Yeah, I'm adopted." Let it not be said that XO Kitty is known for its subtle foreshadowing. Alex's literal next scene is this adoption conversation

Q's right though, she needs more than just a vague intuition Alex could be her brother. Get his birthdate. Find someone who knew your mother. Get a birth certificate

"I have an idea. Kitty should live here." HGKJHGKJHG so many things about this show are so contrived, the plot itself, Kitty and Dae's separation. However, I will allow this weird roommate livestream to be a plot device, because I do think a New Girl scenario sounds like fun. I love roommates to lovers:

"Your aggressive perkiness may have charmed your American teachers into giving you good grades, but here you'll need to put in more work." Professor Lee said: It's not enough for Kitty to fail my class. I must disparage all her other skills also

"Do you want to poison your classmates, or do you want my help?" I knew Min Ho would get me eventually. I think this is the ep. What can I say, I love an irritating man!

"We were roommates, but we weren't close." Here's my running theory based on the vibes around Kitty's mum and Yuri's mum. I think that Jina/Principal Lim WAS close with Eve, and that Eve let Jina check into the hospital under her name. So Alex is someone's secret brother, but I think it's Yuri!

[Gentle poke] "There's an actual person in there." "Don't try to get me on your side. I'm famously anti-Kitty." What a thing to say to someone's face, Min Ho!

Min Ho and Kitty come to a truce over Chuseok meals and the understanding that grief is a uniting force

"Not all people need to be star-crossed lovers to be compatible. Like hot people, for example." [Gestures to self] "We can and want to play the field." See, Min Ho has struck a balance of an arrogance level which charms me

What the hell is Kitty going to achieve by looping in Alex, she's found out nothing!

Yuri's Chuseok experience is seeing what it's like to be with a family that likes each other for the first time:

Yuri immediately reminds us that charming the Kim family she might, she is still self-preservation above all at the explicit cost of Dae's happiness. Taking the Dead Mum necklace is RANK behaviour

"This is exactly why I never had children." [Alex, upset] "Excuse me." Professor Lee enters the chat as Alex's dad??????? What?????

I can't believe that Min Ho getting the nickname Poopy Baby was foreshadowing. This show has so many swerves

"When he has a night with me, he won't be seeing anyone else after." Kitty's scheming has more success than I give her credit for

As Yuri's mum burns her yearbook page, I'm doubling down on Jina being the mum

"Our mum and Professor Lee?" "Our mum?" Well, the secret baby's out of the bag

As funny (and expected) a development as Min Ho's dream about Kitty is, the visual age difference is a lot. He's my age, and she looks 15! However, I'll allow it, I know she's like 20

"Kitty, we can't just upend everyone's lives. What if we're wrong?" "What if we're right? We'd be enhancing everyone's lives." "Stop. I know you're just trying to help, but not everyone's on your timetable." Incredibly fair boundaries from Mr. Alex

"Oh, my eyes! It's like looking directly into the sun." Hate to tell you, Min Ho, but that sounds a little romantic

Q and Florian are the Patron Saints of Underage Drinking and Protecting Your Friends On The Dance Floor, which was also my nickname in high school

Well, biological brother or no, I think Teacher Alex is going to Brother Up and drag Kitty's ass out of this club

It's so beyond the point of what's happening, but I do enjoy Lee getting a hate text from a student while he's practicing guitar. Deserved!

"I wanted to thank you, for helping me reflect on how I talk about others, especially women." Put this man in jail. I don't have a reason yet. I just know he should go

Yuri giving Kitty a snack and water to sober up. As she should!

The longing look between Jina and Professor Lee. I hate the vibes we are creating in the studio today

Also. Also. Not lost upon me that it seems Alex was admonished in this nightclub by probably his mum and dad. Blehbg

"Why does it feel like I've been zapped by a million volts of electricity when I look at her?" Kitty. You cannot have romantic tension with every person on this show!!!!! However, as a fellow bisexual: Ha ha

I'm glad that Dae found out about the necklace, although it came at the time him being emotionally dumped during Kitty's bisexual awakening

"Are you in a mood to make me coffee?" "Yes, but I will deeply resent you." "I can live with that." Min Ho and Q are fun

LMAO @ Min Ho owning up to having a sex dream about Kitty. Honest to a fault

Yuri is not a viable romantic option for anyone while she's blackmailing and extorting a relationship using people's housing and the Dead Mum necklace. Gross! Get some therapy girl

"I recognize that necklace. You and Eve Song got them together. Why didn't you tell me that Kitty was Eve's daughter?" "Why would I have? Does it matter?" I struggle to read where Eve fits into this weird faculty romantic triangle. I don't THINK she was dating Yuri's mum, but maybe!

"I need to know what she's hiding." "To understand her better?" "No, to destroy her." Yuri said: I never claimed to be healthy

florian is so efficient at meddling with Professor Lee. He not only delayed roll call, he got him to leave!

Yearbook confirms I was right, Eve did not have a secret baby, but Jina definitely did!!

Also: Yuri being like 'I'm sorry about the necklace' while Kitty's like 'NOT NOW, GAY THOUGHTS'

I love how much of this episode relies on Professor Lee having no peripheral vision whatsoever. I wonder what his prescription is

"I hope this day has allowed all of you to understand the consequences of your actions." They learned nothing, and they never will <3

Insane of Dae and Kitty to have a paparazzi makeout seconds after a paparazzi breakup

Good for Min Ho, finding a mercifully uncomplicated and willing girl to be a distraction

"I'm just so in awe of what a good friend my mom was." "And letting Jina use her name in the hospital was a big deal. If your mother is as kind and loyal she seems, you do have her essence." That is a beautiful compliment, Teacher Alex

"I'm going to help you." "How?" "Not sure." I'm curious to see what Yuri defines as 'helping'

"You are just so likeable and sincere, it's annoying." LOL YURI

"What excuse could you possibly have?" "I'm gay. And with the family I have, I'm not allowed to be." You gotta hand it to her, Kitty, that's a pretty good excuse!

"It doesn't feel great that he can lie to someone he loves that easily." "It wasn't easy for him. I pushed him into it and trapped him there." I'm glad Kitty gets Yuri's perspective on the fake relationship

I do love how consistent Kitty's matchmaker thing is. She loves love, in a slightly different, more deranged way than her sister

Also, the way it took Kitty one (1) day to get in touch with Juliana when Yuri has been trying for months

"She kept me warm on a very cold night." Idol Ocean Park rolls up to the garden cleanup to tell Min Ho he fucked his mum. That is the funniest possible thing he could do!

"You know I'm not going to put the moves on you." "I know." There's a fine line between homophobic and gay and Kitty is riding it:

"I don't get it. You were obsessed with me." "Yeah, I do that. I get all caught up in the chase but then... meh. Sorry. I'm still into hooking up though." "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I want more. I might be ready for a relationship." [Madison, disappointed] "Oh..." "It was you who helped me realize that in our week together. I'll always be grateful to you. Goodbye Madison Miller." 1) I love how this acknowledges that teenage relationships operate on a different timesphere and 2) I would watch a whole show of just this weird dynamic between Madison and Min Ho. Somehow I've grown to love it

I do keep wondering if Kitty will bring up if not her crush, then at least her sexuality to Yuri or Dae

"Everything is as it should be. Then why does it feel like my stomach is being ripped out?" I don't know, you just became friends like one day ago. You've loved Dae for years. Relationships are like that sometimes. Perhaps Yuri is your Peter Kavinsky

"I am your son." What must it be like to be accosted during your morning jog by your adult Australian son you surrendered under a false name who is also a teacher you employ:

"Lee doesn't know." "I figured." "No one knows but me and... Kitty Song Covey. She told you I was your mother." Jina figured out the path of parenthood reveals in 0.2 seconds flat

"Pay the boy to go away. This cannot be revealed to the public! Ever!" I don't know what you expected, Jina, you married a guy who throws salad at kitchen staff

"All my life, I thought it was me, but really, you're ashamed of yourself." Hey Yuri, maybe Jina can multitask

"Well, your best sucks. I love Juliana. Do you understand? And you sent her away to protect your image. And you care about that more than you care about me, or your son, who wants to get to know you." YOU TELL HER, YURI

"I have to live a fake life just so you'll keep loving me. And I'm done doing that." YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YURRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kitty's really in an impossible position. If she's honest with Yuri about how much she knows, she hurts Alex. If she honours her promise to Alex, she'll inevitably hurt Yuri

"I wouldn't do that to a friend," [Min Ho looks at Dae] "or someone I care about," [Min Ho looks at Kitty] "I just wouldn't." Min Ho's honesty to a fault is also resurfacing with plot relevance. He expects the same level of trust he gives

No one in this show can have an emotionally faithful relationship. Kitty has strong feelings for Yuri while dating Dae, Florian's meeting some guy at night while dating Q, I suspect Yuri will fall for Kitty while dating Juliana. This school's a mess!

Poor Alex, he's caught in a middle of a lot of people who don't care enough except for Kitty

Oh, Florian was cheating on his exams, not his boyfriend. Arguably worse!

"I wasn't not honest, I just--" "Lied by omission?" I love that Kitty and Yuri are having this confrontation mid-fan dance. That's art!

Dae has not a hope in the world of coming out on top romantically. He's between a lesbian fan dance (Yuri) and relationship built exclusively on saving each other in crisis (Min Ho saving Kitty for Chuseok dinner, Kitty saving his lactose episode, Min Ho now literally sprinting through the crowd to save her from fire). Dae, unforunately, is just a guy

"Pull yourself together!" Jina's laugh said: I'm leaving my husband

"Daniel, follow me." "Why?" "Mom, what are you doing?" "I have no idea." Jina redemption arc for real

"I've really been trying not to, but I have feelings for somebody else." "I knew it. I saw the way he looked at you. I'm gonna kill him." [Yzma voice] Wrong loverrrrrrrrr

"It's not Min Ho. It has nothing to do with him." I can't get over the way Kitty says his name differently every time. Pick a pronunciation, my love

"Who is it?" "It's Yuri." I don't know if I was expecting Kitty to full send, good for her

Kitty has to understand it's reasonable to break up with someone who's told you you've had feelings for someone else the length of your entire in-person relationship

"I hope you can believe I only ever wanted the best for you." [Mr. Lee as Yuri voice] Your best sucks!

"Alex, can you and I go somewhere and talk?" "I'd like that." Ohhhh, we love Mr. Lee stepping up to get to know his son

"I got in a fight with Dae, because I have feelings for my friend Yuri, who's a girl." "Oh, thank god." Dr. Covey coming in with the happy familial vibes to balance out the bone arsenic

I think Q told Kitty about the cheating not for moral support but as a reality check

"What are you doing?" "Watching you sleep." "It's creepy." "It's not, it's maternal." LMAOOOOO glad Yuri and Jina are making some headway

"What about dad, what will he say?" "I don't know. And frankly, I'm tired of caring." Yeah, Jina!

"I'm sorry, but you will not be asked back to KISS." 1) Let's finally take a moment to adress this goofy school name 2) Your daughter did the same thing, is she being expelled? and 3) She actually WAS in her original assigned dorm. So. Riddle me that, Principal Lim!

Also, to say NOTHING of the failure of the school to address the physical safety and exploitation of a minor, bc her girl roommate was STREAMING HER SLEEPING IN HER DORM

Very American for Kitty to believe a cafeteria table speech would help her cause in staying in this Korean international school

I think Alex and Kitty genuinely have the strongest friendship on this show, save Q and Kitty

Min Ho saying, "Bye Kitty. Be good," while privately being emotionally devastated. I'm rooting for you, buddy

Good for Kitty for passing her exams, even if it was for naught

I do love that Dae is 'chase you down at the airport' kind of love. Kitty's right, that's the perfect first boyfriend

I was wondering when Yuri would intervene in the expulsion. Little late in the game

"We made up, but we also broke up." Healthy perspective, Kitty

"I think I fell in love with you. A little bit, or, a lot." OH MY GOD MIN HO, SHE'S COMING BACK TO YOUR SCHOOL, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES TO THIS ACTION. ALSO WHAT A WAY TO START A 10+ HOUR INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT

There was so much romance in this show, in bisexual directions. I can see now why people kept telling me to watch it. I do actually wish there was MORE roommates shenanigans, considering it's a scheme that only works once. I don't know how to sum my final thoughts, other than I hope Kitty goes on a three season arc, with one main love interest per season. I lean Min Ho, insofar as his little rich boy energy is much more benign than Yuri's, and he has charmed me. Best of luck in S2!

#to all the boys series #xo kitty #xo kitty series #ayesha liveblogs xo kitty #ayesha says things #liveblogging #television #i watched this in a fugue state on no sleep but i enjoyed it!#it grew on me more with each ep #beauqueue

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 11 days ago

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Hello all. It's been a while 🥲

Before new year's eve I finally got the time and motivation ( and courage) to listen to Subrosa. So this will be a long post about all my first impressions about the album. Overall, I reallly loved it more than I expected, and I'm proud of all of the members sooo much.

Beware, this post will be longggg. I'll write about my first impressions for now, in another post I'll try to deep dive more into the themes the members touched, and tried to make sense of some things. Of course, all of this is just speculation of my tiny Buck-Tick infested brain lol. Also excuse me if I misuse any terms, I'm not an expert.

Enjoy if you are curious. 🥰

1. Hyakuman Nayuta no Chiri no SCUM

A very sweet opening, a hopeful one at that. Very cosmic, truly shows how vast the universe is and how insignificant we all are. But that's why we are not alone.

I think Atsushi would've loved this song. I love Imai's slightly shaky, almost crying voice. It fits the song really well.

2. SUBROSA

Hhmm, going into Imai's psychedelic paradise right on the 2nd song, I love it. Has a very industrial feel to it, the rap scratches my brain at all the right spots lol. The lyrics has a bunch of references as usual, Imai flexing he is smart lol.

There's a part at around 2:35 where the beat switches to a more atmospheric, calmer sound? And that is just. Chef's kiss. I know I'm biased but this is a reallly great song. 🥲

3. Muyubyo SLEEP WALK

I'm going to be honest at firsttt I didn't love this song, but I found it cute. It's still not my favorite, but I appreciate it for what it is.

It is still a good song. There's just something like, missing? But I will listen to it still. All night lonG. I do like the instrumentals, the SSL vibes? That might just be me though.

4. From Now On

Honestly at this point I just sound like I'm repeating myself, but this is also a great song.

The baseline reminds me of Sapphire a bit, which I loveee. I feel like it also gives Schaft vibes? I could imagine Raymond Watts as a feature on it lol. I love Hide's nonchalant vocals, it fits the song. It'ssss not one of my faves though, but next to so many great songs, it's hard to choose favorites. 😭

The message is nice though. I appreciate Hide a lot for singing in english. 🥹

5. Rezisto

I literally killed myself when I first heard this song. It is perfect. Everything that I wanted from this album. I think I'm lowkey Imai biased but I just love how his brain works. I love everything about it really. The lyrics I find fascinating and beautiful, I'll touch up on it in another post.

6. Shinkeishitsu no Kaidan

Weirdly enough, the first song I repeated multiple times. It is so good to use as a focusing song lol. It also makes me question my existence. Truly, truly a divine instrumental track.

7. Raijin Fujin

Okay, first critique lol. Of course, even when it was released as a single I wasn't a huge fan of it, and was really scared of the direction the band was about to take, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt, thank god.

I know I'm not the only one who thinks this is one of the worst songs on the album, but it's fine. I still think it has a place in the album. It's very upbeat, and fun. I'm not a fan of the vocals. I like the instrumental, but I don't love the prechorus. Might be an unpopular opinion, but my favorite version is the club remix on the single lol, because the vocals are less promenient.

I did learn to like this song after many listens, not my favorite still.

8. Meiosei de Shine

It's funn. It reminds me a bunch of older songs, can't even pinpoint them one by one. I didn't notice at first it's an Imai Hide duet 😭 I thought it's only Imai. But that makes it more precious. It's a fun song really, gives me Dada Disco vibes mostly. The instrumental is great too, electronic noise brrrrr. It does lack somethingggg, I don't know what though. Maybe more variety? Or idk. But as a fun song I appreciate it. I imagine Acchan shaking ass and it's suddenly so much better. 🥰😭

9. Yusei Tsushin

I'm gonna be honest! I wanted to love this song bc of the lyrics, it's so stupid 😭 It reminds me of Boogie Woogie / Jonathan Jet-Coaster a bit, but flatter. I don't get as energized personally. Also the vocals in the chorus are so strained, I'm dying. I love you Imai, but I prefer your calm singing or lowkey talking style. But I appreciate the effort! I'm okay with this song, but might be my least favorite unfortunately. 😭

10. paradeno mori

Funnest! I did cry on it tho lol! 😭 the lyrics references got me. I just loveeee Hide's voice here. It does remind me of Atsushi's singing style a bit. I can 1000% see Acchan shaking ass to this.

I do prefer the more abstracts songs on the album, but this is also really good. Some of the tiny instrumental details are really good, like the sounds at 1:50-2:00

Also love the detail that the sound slightly changes on each stage? Nice!

11. Sterilitzia

Makes me want to explore a desert lol. It's a really interesting sound, something I don't think I've heard from BT before. It's funky, interesting, industrial, I'm satisfied with it. The end got me feeling distressed though not going to lie. The heavy machinery sounds and slight distortion in the middle make it sound a bit dystopian. Loveee it.

12. Zetsubo to Iunano Kimi e

One. of. the. best. songs.on the album. 🥹I violently sobbed on it like 4 times in a row. 🫠 Hide's voice is b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.🥹 I think Atsushi would also love this one. I'd love to hear him sing it. It's a beautifull song, both lyrically, and soundwise. I'm in love 😭😭 Fuck you BT for being so great. 😭

I love the robotic sounds in the instrumental, make it all the sadder. 😭

13. TIKI TIKI BOOM

Actually! This might be my favorite fun song! It's different, yet soooo Buck-Tick! I love Imai's hurried rap part, the chorus is extremely satisfying. The smoll Tiki tiki boom's in the background, yes.

The Instrumental is something to really appreciate imo. I always find something new in it. The part at 1:45 with the descending(?) instrumentals gives it an eery feel, it's sooo good.I thought this would be my least fave but not at all.

14. PSYCHE

This album just gets better with each song. First impression was that I neeeed to hear Atsushi and Hide sing this together. Hide sounds perfect here. The song is sooooo good. How it starts calmer and then explodes in the chorus. Has a slight like apocalyptic (👀) feel to it. It's again one of my favorites. 🥹 It's just suppperrr good.

The background vocals are canonically Atsushi to me, I don't accept arguments. 😭

15. Gabriel's Horn

As one of my friends said, Vita Mechanicalis vibes. But to me KMFDM. Jesus this song is soooooooo goooodd. It was one of my favorites on first listen. The drums? or no clue what instrument tbh 😭 sound so good. Imai's voice is suppppeeerr cool here. This is what I loveeeeeeee. Fuck yes. That's all I can say. This song is realllly apocalyptic. For real. The only part that threw me off was the chorus, but it fits well looking at the concept. I love the use of trumpets and piano. Give it a divine feel as well. Like the war of gods or some shit. 😭

16. Kurage

Another instrumental track, it's really eery. I love it. It gives me anxiety honestly, so maybe I'd only listen to it if I want the full album experience. But it fits really well into the album so 👌

17. Tasogare no Howling

The last song. Interestingggggg. Verrrryy bittersweet. It's verrrryyy beautiful. I think to truly appreciate it I have to listen a lot of times. Just like in the first song, Imai's shaky vocals suit this song really well. It truly gives the feeling of the ending, that's also a beginning. I just loveeeee the deep background vocals. They give the song sooo much flavor. Cried.

I just noticed, I think Hide also sings some higher background vocals?

Okayyy, now, onto ranking the songssss. Hmmm.

17. Yusei Tsushin

16. Raijin Fujin

15. Kurage

14. Muyubyo SLEEP WALK

13. Meiosei de Shine

12. Sterilitzia

11. From Now On

10. parade no mori

9. Hyakumannayuta no Chiri SCUM

8. Shinkeishitsu na Kaidan

7. TIKI TIKI BOOM

6. SUBROSA

NOW the hardest decision, lol, I can hardly decide, but.

5. Zetsubo to Iunano Kimi e ( sorry you deserve the no.1 spot 😭)

4.Gabriel's Horn

3. Rezisto

2. PSYCHE

1. Tasogare no Howling

Honestly, this ranking will probably change depending on my mood, but for now this is it.

Also the first 5 songs are probably all no.1., but I had to decide an order. 😭

Well anyways, for now this is it for first impressions. I'll come back with my slight analysis post later.

Overall, the album is phenomenal. I will be listening to all the songs for sure. I'm happy to see the members still releasing such good music. 🥹

If you read this, I'd be curious about your opinions too! Byee

#buck tick #atsushi sakurai #hisashi imai #hoshino hidehiko #yagami toll #higuchi yutaka #subrosa #first impressions lol #sorry for the shitton of yapping #ive been resurrected #and i still have more in my pockets 👹

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adachimoe · 4 months ago

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Adachi's Mistake

One of the things that is never explained and seemingly left intentionally vague is Adachi's mistake.

After you hear his stupid bullshit on December 7th, he invites you to come find his real self, and you find him inside the TV. While he certainly says a lot of bullshit, I think this line is actually true. Adachi not taking his job seriously (implication being to the extent of messing up) is a recurring thing in the game, so much that him preparing Namatame to be transferred is something Dojima finds out of character or too serious for him.

Some of the meta text about the game (e.g. Adachi's character profiles) also mention him being transferred due to a mistake he made. So, while he does say a lot of bullshit, I think there's some truth to his mini-rant about this.

But what's the mistake he made? Hmm. I've read a lot of interviews and other meta stuff, and... I dunno lol. It doesn't seem to be in any of the stuff I've read. It seems fun to headcanon and speculate about. Maybe he did the exact same shit he's been doing in Inaba but his old boss was less tolerant than Dojima?

It seems that when this topic comes up amongst westerners, people automatically assume Adachi shot someone? That feels more like being American and assuming every country is America lol. And if we're being painfully realistic, he's a plain clothes detective so he wouldn't be carrying a gun to begin with unless it was a situation where it was deemed necessary that he should have one. (Also, I think I've posted about this before, but if Adachi is really just a gun nut, why the heck did he even become a plain clothes detective? Uniformed officers who work in the field would be more likely to carry one.)

I also think about the situation surrounding and reaction to Abe's assassination 2 years ago. Part of why that was such a huge spectacle is because gun violence there is very different (a lot lower). It gives me the impression that "a police officer accidentally shoots someone" would've been seen as a more major thing. In contrast, Adachi believes the mistake he made was something small, and the meta descriptions written about him in booklets seem to agree with this.

As far as civil servant transfers go in general, I am an idiot and went to read up about that on some Japanese websites. They occur every year around March/April and maybe again in the fall (matches up with Adachi saying he came to Inaba in the spring). It also seems pretty normal for civil servants to get transferred every 3-5 years, though things like "causing problems" can justify why you would get transferred.

Given that it's Adachi, maybe he didn't go drinking after work with his coworkers enough times and he gave them bad vibes so he got transferred, bwaha. Though he did go to New Year's Eve parties, so maybe he was actually a bit more social than I'm thinking...?

Random: I have learned that these "unexplained events" are called "noodle incidents", and I am shocked I recognized the reference... my older brothers used to read Calvin and Hobbes!

#persona 4 #persona 4 golden #p4 #p4g #tohru adachi #adachi brainrot #speculation

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austinslounge · 5 days ago

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Was the split officially announced or is it cause we didn't see Austin in Cabo? I could see him not wanting to join after her family dragging him in the tabloids and just wanting to spend time with his family instead. They might still be somewhat together? Idk, but what gives me hope they're done is that Kaia has seemingly surrounded herself with new guys, and even deuxmoi hasn't seen them together in like 2 or more months. I don't want to get my hopes up and they show up together for another sad pap walk :/

There hasn't been any formal announcement of a breakup (yet), but imo I don't get the impression that they are "still somewhat together" at all.

Let's look at the facts, shall we?

Over the past several months we've seen:

Presley unfollow Austin

Charlotte unfollow Austin

Austin wasn't at Kaia's Disneyland birthday celebration (come to think of it, has he ever been in town when she's had her birthday bash lol? 🤔)

Kaia has been spotted with Marcello (on several occasions) and even getting kinda flirty

Kaia was feeling all up on Corey Michael Smith on the red carpet

Kaia has been spotted with Charlie

Kaia has been spotted sitting on another guys lap while taking a photo with Santa

Kaia has been spotted with Lewis Pullman

Austin was over Ashley's house for Christmas eve

Austin wasn't spotted in Cabo with the Gerbers as usual. Usually, after 3 years, a relationship tends to progress, not regress lol (if things are going well)

Austin was not spotted at Kaia's Vogue honorary event, even though he was right there in NYC and wasn't working that day

Austin's costar Matt Smith was spotted at the same Halloween party that Kaia was at. He flew all the way from NYC to LA to attend this party in the middle of filming, yet, Kaia's own boyfriend couldn't? Lol 😆 Austin was spotted in Halloween day shopping in NYC, so he was free lol 😆

Austin and Kaia haven't been spotted since October (which appeared to be damage control). And tbh, they really were not pictured together in NYC since Austin started filming "Caught Stealing" in Sept. if you think about it. 👀

Kaia had an event in NYC while Austin was still in NYC filming, and instead of staying a few days to visit with her bf who she hadn't seen in weeks, she instead flew immediately back to LA and was spotted out to dinner with other guys lol. 😅

Despite telling the woman on the plane that long-distance working during relationships is so tough, he ends up staying in Mexico for vacation after filming ends with Darren Aronofsky, his director who he has seen every single day for months, instead of flying back to LA to see his gf who he has not seen, or flying her out to be with him. 🤭 Not only that, but he knew that he had the San Fran film festival to attend as well, and he still chose to stay in Mexico lol.

There have been countless rumors and negative press about the Kaustin relationship all last year.

Lastly, I'll also add that when a relationship is getting this much negative press, imo, there is no way that couple is staying together. 🥴 It almost gets to be a chore to stay with that person. No positive vibes whatsoever. And if her family really has been dragging his name through the mud like this, why on earth would Austin even want to stay with a girl with a family like that?

That's just my opinion.

Take it or leave it!

#asks #look at the facts #Kaustin

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climbthemountain2020 · 10 months ago

Text

A Heartbreak in Mid-December

Also on Ao3 | World's biggest thank you to @wilde-knight, my love, my light, my life, my beta reader <3

Synopsis: Lucien gets rip-roaring drunk after yet another failure of a Solstice and spends some time reflecting on the events that led him here. He decides that perhaps it's time to let go of the bond once and for all.

CC couldn't stop picturing Elucien scenarios while listening to Neck Deep.

Highly recommend listening to December by Neck Deep before reading because it is screaming Elucien vibes to me.

Lucien crashed in through his front door, stumbling over his own two feet and slamming into the coat rack right within the doorframe.

Shit. Fuck.

He straightened it, blinking his eyes against the streetlight spilling into his dark apartment. The single, depressing Solstice candle he had lit before he left hours ago was still burning low. He fumbled his arm back behind him, searching for the door to slam it shut. It didn’t shut quietly, and he winced. It was very, very late–or, rather, early– and he hoped he hadn’t just woken his neighbors on a holiday.

The sky was lightening far off in the distance, and the copious amounts of liquor Lucien had drunk roiled in his stomach as he made his way to the kitchen. Rifling through his near-empty cabinets, he found some bread and hard cheese, choosing to save himself the pain later of having gone to sleep drunk as a jester on an empty stomach.

He chewed sloppily as he looked out the window to the brightening horizon of Velaris. It really was a beautiful city, the stars twinkling more brightly in the sky here than anywhere else he’d ever been. Every time he went into town, he was thrilled to find some new, fantastic oddity that kept his curious mind intrigued. He made friends with the shopkeepers, the artisans, the barkeeps, as he did everywhere he went. He truly could have seen himself making a home here. Except for the fact that every second of being here felt like rending his very soul from his body.

Three years. It had been three fucking years now. Three Solstice eves where he’d gone out on a limb, taking his very carefully chosen gift like an acolyte bringing a sacrifice to an altar. Three years where he would sit through an awkward dinner with a family that wasn’t his and never would be. He’d give her the delicately wrapped parcel in carefully chosen paper, and she would politely smile and then…nothing. Not a word or even a nod in return.

The bond might as well be a dead animal in his chest for the way it was rotting out his heart. She didn’t want him–couldn’t stand his very presence–and yet, he still tried, beating himself down and eroding more and more of himself in the process. He’d hoped, perhaps, this year would be a better year. He’d spent an egregious amount of time in the little tea shop in Day Court, combing through each of the hundreds of flavors and combinations available to choose the ones he felt she’d love. He’d bought a cinnamon, peppermint, and ginger mix, sharp and fragrant and interesting. He’d found a chai with milky ribbons of caramel that reminded him of Autumn. He’d found a breakfast tea there that hailed from the mortal lands, thinking it might be one she’d had before and warm her heart on the days that all the changes were too hard for her. Finally, he’d picked a lovely persimmon and lavender blend. It smelled like the flowers of her garden, and reminded him of warm days under the Spring sun. Rather than the physical gifts of the past two years, the enchanted gloves and the earrings, this was something simply for pleasure and enjoyment. He’d hoped this new approach would be appreciated, but just like every year, the placid smile graced her face and that was that.

He wished, just once, she’d open that bond in her chest–let him know even the smallest bit of what she was feeling. What was he doing wrong? Was this all punishment from that god awful first moment where he’d unceremoniously blurted in his shock that she was his mate? Everyone had judged it as a claiming, a declaration, when what it had really been was a soul-gutting, horrific realization that it hadn’t been Jes. Lucien barely remembered the following events of that night–his heart and his mind cycling rapidly and frantically between protect your mate and you’d been wrong–she died for nothing.

Lucien aggressively rubbed his hand down his face, sighing as he finished the bread, running water from the sink and sticking his face under it to drink. These were dangerous thoughts for a drunk mind. But with horrible lucidity, Lucien knew he wouldn’t be trying again next year. This had been it. As tortured as he felt about the constant rejections, he knew Elain must be tiring of his slow and steady attempts. He hoped that she could be happy here in Velaris, here in this fae body and fae life she’d never wanted, but three years of demurely rebuffed attempts had left him a ragged shell of self-hate. He couldn’t live this way anymore.

Lucien had decided, somewhere between bottles tonight, that he was going to let this go–he had to. There was only so much a male could take, and he couldn’t keep gently offering his heart up to her only to have her crush it beneath her pretty, unfailingly polite fist. His centuries of life had been filled with so much heartbreak and torment, and he’d fought–fought like hell–to stay good. But there are only so many times a heart could be cleaved entirely in two before a person broke. He was on the precipice. He rubbed his eyes painfully as they began to burn. She owed him nothing, but he owed himself peace.

Tonight, as he’d left the River House, kind words and hugs from Feyre, claps on the back from Cassian and Rhys, a cold side eye from the Shadowsinger, as always, he’d decided that he was going to go get rip-roaring drunk tonight. He’d allow himself this one night to drink until he forgot and wallow in his devastation, and tomorrow he would send a letter to Elain offering to sever the bond–urging her to.

Would he go insane? Maybe. Was he already insane for allowing this to be drawn out for so long when he clearly wasn’t wanted? Perhaps. He’d tried so hard to give her the space she clearly craved these past three years, especially after he’d known she wasn’t going to fling herself off the balconies of the House of Wind. He’d been a perfect gentleman, never pushing or pressing, never overstepping. He’d been patient, tried softly to get to know her where the opportunities organically presented themselves, but he’d been foiled, one way or another, at every turn. She hated his presence as much as she hated his presents.

He’d see her every so often around town when she was walking around Velaris. It wasn’t a large city, so they were bound to see each other on his visits. She didn’t notice him, but he always noticed her, the sound of her heartbeat echoing down the bond and calling out to him like a beacon whenever she was close. She would be shopping, or talking to vendors in the market, or on her way to fix the garden of a Velaris resident. Her dresses would always complement her pretty, porcelain, freckled skin, and her hair would always be shining in the sun. Lucien would wonder, against all common sense, what it would feel like to simply sit with her at one of the many restaurants along the Sidra. He wondered what it would be like to eat lunch with her, exchange stories, get to know each other better, maybe even cause her to laugh at something he’d said. But instead, he noted her presence and moved on–Lucien never wanted to be the one to make Elain uncomfortable.

His frustration led him to grab another bottle of liquor from the cabinet and drink straight from it as he collapsed onto the couch. What had he done in a previous incarnation to have earned such ire from the Cauldron? First, his family, then Jes, then Tamlin, now this? Lucien didn’t think he was a bad person. He’d made mistakes, sure, but he always tried to do the right thing, especially by those he cared about. But now he was here, in a city he couldn’t really call home with people he couldn’t really call friends. He’d barely bothered to decorate his apartment, choosing instead to put in a few small touches that reminded him of Autumn and Spring–an amber yellow woven blanket thrown over the back of his couch that reminded him of the maple leaves in late season, an aquamarine enchanted ceramic pot of ferns and hyacinths on the mantle from Spring. All just pieces of all the places Lucien had almost been able to call home once.

There was no reason to torture himself and do more. He only stayed here every so often, popping in to report back to Rhysand, catch a glimpse of Elain, and hope beyond reason this would be the time Feyre told him that Elain had changed her mind. It never was. Sometimes he would see her in the halls of the River House, where she’d give a little curtsey and disappear before any words could ever be exchanged. Lucien hated the baser parts of him that the bond brought out, but most of all he hated how much her scent affected him. Honey and pears and the light smell of clean linens line-dried in the sun haunted him through the hallways, even long after she’d fled.

Lucien swigged his harsh liquor and let the burn in his throat refocus him. He refused to lay here and think about how she smelled.

She wasn’t interested, and she never had been. Lucien was a smart male; he wasn’t stupid enough to not be aware of Elain’s care for the Shadowsinger. At least two years now he’d seen the shared glances, the stolen touches. He was sure that Rhysand trying to avoid tensions was the only reason they hadn’t gone public with their relationship, whatever it was. He had once hoped that eventually, as a fae, she might understand the depth of a mating bond and at least want to give getting to know Lucien a try, but he’d put a time limit on it, and that was tonight. If she’d shown even the slightest bit of interest, he’d have waited forever for her. But she had shown him, again and again through her actions, or lack thereof, that she wasn’t. He couldn’t make himself be someone that he wasn’t, and she hated him solely for being her mate. He’d been raised to believe it was a blessing, and she viewed it as a punishment. What else could he do?

Maybe it was a punishment. He’d spent centuries thinking it had been Jes, that he’d lost his one chance at real love when his brothers had cleaved her head from her shoulders and made him watch. His sweet, clever, mischievous Jes, with her kind eyes, and teasing words, and endless love for him. He’d never deserved her to begin with, and then his love had gotten her killed. A day hadn’t passed that he didn’t miss her. The worst part was, he actually thought Elain and Jes would have been fast friends–their care and love for nature and flowers and their gentle words. He could sense that Elain had a more mischievous side, not that he’d ever been allowed nor would he ever have a chance to see it himself.

Lucien’s vision swam thinking about it all, his heartbeat a dirge within his chest for the life he’d suffered through. He had to remind himself that he, against all odds, was alive. It was enough to be thankful for, and he’d convince himself there were better times still to come, even without either of them. He pulled that woven blanket that reminded him so much of his mother around his shoulders, closing his eyes and placing the half-empty liquor bottle onto the floor next to the couch. Tomorrow he would send the letter to Elain and return to his friends; even listening to Jurian and Vassa banter as foreplay until they inevitably hate-fucked each other would be better than this torture.

He’d leave Elain to her freedom–he truly hoped she would get whatever it was that she wanted from this new life she’d never asked for. The Cauldron had taken everything from her and left nothing she wanted in its place. Not her fae body, not her fiance abandoning her, and definitely not Lucien. More than anything, he hoped she found her way here and found a way to be happy despite all the horrors she’d seen. She could have her Shadowsinger and their little winged babies, and three brothers could have their three sisters, and Lucien could have some peace.

Perhaps breaking the bond would blessedly drive him insane, and he could be rid of this pain once and for all. This looming feeling of inadequacy would leave him, or at least he wouldn’t be aware of enough to know it existed in the first place. He had seen enough, and now it all felt like too much. Maybe being insane would be preferable to all this, he thought as he began to drift off.

Just as sleep began to take him under, he heard a light tapping. What was that? It happened again, three quiet raps on his door. He rolled over, pulling the blanket tight against the knocking and the dawn light beginning to pour through the windows. But the knocks came again, louder this time.

Shit, fine.

Lucien groaned and rolled off the couch onto the floor with a grunt, the knocks still ringing through his apartment like a thumping heartbeat. He swayed as he tried to get to his feet, moving the bottle to the table and stumbling to the door.

“Hang on, okay? I hear you, I hear you.”

Lucien was not in a good place to deal with a neighbor complaining about the noises earlier, but he supposed he’d brought that upon himself. He undid the latch and threw the door open, the early daylight peaking in as he grimaced and covered his eyes.

But there, against the soft light of the rising sun, stood Elain. She was haloed by it, the light shining off her tousled hair, her cloak thrown hastily over her shoulders, cheeks bright red from the cold and her breath freezing into clouds in the chilly morning air.

“Elain–” he gasped out.

“Happy Solstice, Lucien.” He was at a loss for words, like every thought in his head had ground to a horribly abrupt stop and there was nothing left but empty space and confusion. “I came to check on you. I felt…well, I’ve felt nothing but anguish down the bond for hours. I’ve never felt so much from you, and I got worried.” She said, shyly.

He could have rammed his face through the wall; he was mortified beyond belief. For three years, he’d kept those carefully constructed walls up night and day to keep from torturing her. One drunk night and he’d plagued her all evening with his self-loathing.

“Elain, I am so sorry. I drank a bit much last night. I never meant–” She held up a hand.

“It’s quite alright. But are you okay?” This was more words than she’d spoken to him at once ever. Maybe more than she’d spoken to him altogether over the past three years. Strangely, she didn’t look put-upon–likely her years of training as a lady in society. His shame was oily and horrid, and he immediately went to reconstruct those walls around the twisting gold thread in his chest. She looked up at him, eyes wide and…disappointed?

“Uh, yes. I’m alright.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I didn’t even know you knew where I lived.” He tried to lighten the mood with a laugh, his default. He was still drunk and trying to focus when something so insane was happening was nearly impossible. Surely this wasn’t just a dream?

A blush painted over her beautiful, freckled cheeks.

“Oh, I actually do. I’ve come by a few times, but I’ve never had the nerve to knock.” A stiff wind could have knocked him clean out. She’d come here? She looked embarrassed to admit it, but Lucien was still trying to make sense of things, gaping and looking insane in the doorway. “Might I come in? It’s a bit chilly.”

“Oh, gods, Elain. Yes, of course. I’m so sorry.” He ushered her inside, kicking himself repeatedly for ruining this. “Can I get you some tea?” He was immediately ashamed of his apartment–everything so sparsely put together and nothing fancy for her. Without thinking, he tossed a ball of flame to the hearth, warming the room for her.

“No, that’s fine. I just wanted to come and check on you. When I felt some of the emotions coming through, I worried you might be in danger…I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“I am so sorry, Elain. Truly. I never intended for you to feel anything.” She looked down.

“I know, Lucien. You’re always very vigilant.” The words left her tongue with a bit more bite than he had expected, but it was enough to sober him.

Fuck the letter. He was doing this now.

“Elain, do you want to break the bond? I planned to write and offer you the option today, but since you’re here, I’ll just say it.” Elain’s eyes shot to his, her expression heartbroken and appalled, and Lucien suddenly got the first spark of feeling down that faded, dim tether that he’d ever felt. Devastation.

“Is that what you want?” Her voice was a whisper, but Lucien couldn’t help the laugh that barked out of him.

“Me? Gods, no. You. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“No, Lucien. It is not.” He felt like he was living in a fever dream. Maybe he’d fallen into the Sidra on his way home from the tavern and was slowly freezing to death beneath the waves.

“Don’t you want to be with Azriel?” It was her turn to huff a laugh out, looking incredulous.

“Cauldron, no. You know he’s mated, right?” Lucien did not know. “Yes, to Gwyn, Nesta’s friend. I mean, for full disclosure, at one point, there was some…tension. But nothing ever became of it. And it was a year ago.” Lucien had never been at such a loss for what to say as they stood in the entryway of his small apartment. He hated the relief he felt, hated even more than in his drunken state, she could definitely tell.

His mate was there, in his home, speaking to him. Laughing. Her scent filled every inch of space around him–he may never be able to sleep here again. Could he seal the doors and keep it forever?

“So, you don’t want to break the bond?” He asked, tentatively. She sighed, walking to the couch and dropping heavily down, her head in her hands.

“Lucien, I am so sorry. I have made such an incredible mess of this. I imagine you’ll never forgive me, and I understand if you’ve had enough. I never meant to make you so miserable, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.” He must be hallucinating. How old had that liquor been?

“I was so lost at the beginning, so hateful and resentful. I had never wanted any of this, and for the longest time, every time I saw you, I was reminded of all that.”

“I reminded you? But I gave you space, I–”

“It didn’t matter! You were just so fae.” She gestured up and down at him as if that made it make sense. “Your bright, braided hair, your beautiful eyes, your tailored, colorful clothes. You were so unequivocally inhuman that I couldn’t look at you without remembering.” He guessed that made sense. Human men were incredibly dull, and Lucien had always prided himself on his appearance.

“After a long time, I just continued to push you away because I didn’t know how to fix the gap I’d made between us. I couldn’t admit I was wrong because it didn’t feel wrong that I’d been scared, but it did feel wrong to be apart from you. I just didn’t know how to fix it.” She got quiet at the end, and he came to sit on the table in front of her.

“To accept you would have meant I was wrong, but it would have also meant I accepted everything that happened to me. It wasn’t fair, but it was what happened. I hate how horribly I’ve hurt you working through it all.” Her eyes were rimmed with tears as he looked at her. Elain. Here. Sitting on his couch mere inches from him and pouring her heart out at his feet. She laughed, somewhat mirthlessly, and met his eyes again.

“You drove me mad. Bought me the most perfect gifts every single year. Not stupid, surface-level things, but things that told me you could see me when no one else could. The tea? How could you have possibly picked so many flavors and scents I love? You’re always there and you smell so good and it makes me want to act against every single thing I’ve ever been taught. I can hear the way your heart skips and races when you see me, and I hate that I know you can hear mine do the same. I hate to know that you feel how you affect me. I have no secrets; I have no defenses against you.” It had all come rushing out in a single breath, and she was left on the couch, panting and staring at him with wide eyes.

Lucien stood, dumbstruck, jaw hanging and unable to form a thought let alone a sentence. Was this a joke? A dream?

She stood too, pacing in front of the couch Lucien now stood next to, watching her like a male seeing the sun rise for the first time in his life.

“More than anything, I hated how you always knew me. Knew what I needed, sunshine and the sea, while everyone else wanted to keep me inside. You knew the gifts I would love, the space that I would need. I knew you’d be there waiting for me, too. And I took you for granted, and that makes me the worst of all.”

He wanted so badly to tell her it didn’t matter. If she truly felt this way, it didn’t matter. If he’d thought, even for a moment, that she’d just needed a bit more time, he’d have waited forever. He wanted to tell her he’d only offered to break the bond because he thought it’s what she wanted. He wanted to tell her he’d fall at her feet and stay there for the rest of their immortal lives if she wanted him. If she allowed him.

“Elain, I–”

“Do you know I have your jacket?”

“My…What?”

“The one you wrapped around me when I was thrown from the Cauldron. I saved it. I folded it into a small box in the bottom of my closet. Sometimes I bring it out when I have nightmares and hold it close to my face, and it feels like you’re there with me.”

Lucien was astonished, the beating of his heart and hers drowning out all remaining rational thought. Lucien hadn’t felt hope like this in centuries.

“It’s starting to not smell like you anymore, and I can’t bear it,” she whispered.

Her eyes flicked back to his, and she took the smallest step forward. If his heart hadn’t been thundering like the hooves of a thousand running horses, he’d worry it had stopped entirely. All thought left him, all sense. In two long strides, he was across the room to her, her jaw in his hand and her eyes closed.

“You smell like pine needles in the sun,” she whispered, her breath grazing his hand. He laughed through his grin, his thumb brushing across her cheek as she sighed and opened her eyes, soft brown like the leaves coating the forest floor in fall, to look into his own with a smile of her own.

“If I offer you the moon on a string, Lucien, will you give me a kiss too?” He laughed again, not knowing whether or not Feyre had told her that tidbit or if she’d Seen it herself. But she smiled at his laugh, and the effect was blinding.

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips, before he could change his mind.

Her lips were soft, soo incredibly soft, and her hands wound through his tangled hair immediately, pulling him closer. He was intoxicated with the smell of her, so close and unfiltered. It was Elain who ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, begging for entry as he used his hand to tilt her head slightly. The smallest noise left her throat, and Lucien had to call upon every single bit of restraint he’d ever mustered to hold himself back from tossing her over his shoulder. She must have heard the thought, felt it even, as he noticed his walls had crumbled down again. He felt a smattering of emotions from her, elation, relief, arousal. It was too much, it was not enough, it was perfect.

They might have kissed for hours, days, or minutes, but it tapered down into soft, quick presses of their lips against each other as they steadied their beating hearts.

“Would you like to get lunch with me today, Lucien?” Elain said, breathless as they pulled apart, but barely.

“I would like nothing more, my lady” she smiled against his lips, smoothing her hand over his chest. He felt as though every breath had been drawn out of him, his lungs simply existing in a void where he floated blissfully on a cloud.

“Then you better rest up. You’ve got about six hours to sleep, then I’ll be expecting you on the bridge by the market. We’ve got some catching up to do.” She pressed a small, wrapped parcel into his hand, then stood on tiptoes to give him another kiss on the jaw before walking back to the door, looking over her shoulder to say goodbye.

“Happy Solstice, Lucien.” She smiled as she pulled the door closed behind her.

Lucien hoped beyond reason that this wasn’t a dream, but her lingering scent swirled around him as he let himself drop back to the couch. He looked down at the parcel in his hand, wrapped delicately in white and silver tissue paper, folded neatly at the seams and wrapped in a bow of twine.

She’d given him a Solstice gift.

He undid the bow carefully, fully planning to save every single aspect of this present as long as he lived. He peeled back the carefully folded corners of the paper, making sure not to rip it. Inside the beautiful paper was a folded, cream colored handkerchief. He picked it up and unfolded it to find the smallest embroidered fox in the corner, the colored threads somehow catching the mischievous glint in its eyes. Beneath it was a round piece of glass–no–resin. Pressed within it were bright Autumn leaves, layered in yellows, oranges, and crimsons held at the peak of their color forever, suspended in time. A piece of his very first home to have here and hold close.

He’d never received such gifts in his life. They were both so perfectly him–things he would have been drawn to immediately at a market, but would never have bothered to purchase for himself. It made up for a million Solstices.

He laid back on the couch, holding the gifts to his chest and closing his eyes as he drifted off, the smell of pear and honey wrapped around him like the yellow blanket that reminded him of days spent running through the woods of Autumn.

I hope you get your ballroom floor

Your perfect house with rose red doors

I'm the last thing you'd remember

It's been a long lonely December

I wish I'd known that less is more

But I was passed out on the floor

That's the last thing I remember

It's been a long lonely December

December by Neck Deep

Cast me aside to show yourself in a better light

I came out grieving, barely breathing

And you came out alright

But I'm sure you'll take his hand

I hope he's better than I ever could have been

My mistakes were not intentions, this is a list of my confessions I couldn't say

Pain is never permanent but tonight it's killing me

#elucien #angst with a happy ending #hurt and comfort #acotar #sjm fic #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #songfic #oneshot

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silly-tma-headcanons · 5 months ago

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this is the fourth time i'm writing this but guess who's backkkk :P

this time with the seasons i think the archives staff were born in- it's been on my mind for some reason sdhjdsj

jon & martin were born in autumn, solely because they just give off autumn vibes

sasha was born in summer, just a month after spring & tim constantly said they should've been born in spring

tim was born in winter, i have no idea why but he gives me those vibes. he hates how close his birthday is to christmas

late spring melanie!! mainly because moths hatch in the late spring and early summer, and her dad called her "little moth"

basira gives winter/spring vibes...........also off topic but i feel like she'd be really interested in the multiple different butterfly designs

helinedmightbehere back with gods mightiest tma hcs !!!! its always lovely to get one of yours after i disappear for a month or so :3

i feel like jon is early september, and was one of the oldest kids in his year at school. martin has mid-november vibes :3

sasha is deffo june, as you said. tim makes a lot of jokes about her being queer and born in pride month

i think tim is either christmas, christmas eve or boxing day. and his family does the boxing day tradition. he gets absolutely BATTERED but they all use the birthday digs excuse combined with boxing day

melanie is right near the end of may. shes such a spring/summer girlie. i like to imagine her dad would take her out of school on her birthday, no matter how old she was.

basira is either april or december and i cant decide. either way, i think some of her earliest memories are of spring time, and thats why she likes butterflies :3

(adding on!!!)

daisy is january. like really early in the year, quite close to new years

jonah is february but og elias is july. smth about the duality of jonah being the cold of winter without the novelty of christmas and the new year and elias being the warmth of summer without suffocating in it as one would in august.

gerry is march, and is either close to or on the same date as eric. when he was born, eric was so happy that him and gerry were so close in birthdays and he thinks it's the cutest thing. mary is just annoyed that the two have yet another thing in common, with how poorly she thinks of eric near the end of their relationship

gertrude is october. loads of the staff in research and library make halloween jokes lmao. shes not that bothered, if anything, she finds it funny.

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rafescvntyclubgf · 11 days ago

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experiencing writers block and would love some ideas!!

Hi bb!! Happy NYE!

Oh nooo writer’s block is the worst!!! I’m so sorry.

Yes! I have a few different things that I do personally.

1 - and honestly I think this one is the easiest… There are a ton of readers on here that have some really, really good fic ideas. I’m sure you’ve already made a post but putting something out there can get you a few different ideas and maybe one will excite you.

2 - reading some stories from other fandoms that interest you in your free time. I feel like it opens up a different part of my brain. Idk. This helps me for some reason.

3 - browsing TikTok or watching a new show and basing a story off a scene. I had never written cowboy!rafe before so I was a little nervous. I remembered this TikTok edit that I loved and I watched that as inspo and leaned into that for a the “vibe” of that scene and it got me really excited overall.

4 - choosing one of your favorite pairings, going on Pinterest, and finding a prompt. Once you do that, you can kind of think of how that couple would act in that given situation and the see if you can think of a storyline based off of that.

For example: College!Hockey Rafe x Reader

Writing prompt: Family relationships

For Rafe, it’s obviously poor. Maybe the readers is a sweetheart and she catches Rafe after the game leaving by himself while everyone else talks to their friends and family. What would happen after that?

5 - rewriting scenes is also fun. Exchanging him for a lead character in a move or a TV show that you really like. For example, I am going to do a one shot where Rafe plays the Salesman in Squid Games. Then taking one of those scenes and taking a few of the elements to change it into a one shot.

7 - music. This is also a pretty easy one. If you go on Spotify you can search for Rafecore playlists or, just find some of your favorite songs. Listen to the lyrics and see if any of them inspire you whether it be a storyline or a vibe. If you go onto Google you can even do a deep dive on the lyrics and the meaning behind it and this to yourself what your pairing would do in that given situation. Obviously giving credit to the artist of course but I feel like readers really like when you base your work off music because a lot of the time they are framiliar with the song themselves and they can pick up on the nuances or if you slip a lyric in there.

8 - Piggy backing off a story that really inspired you or you enjoyed. I’m doing this right now with my PopStar!Reader and Bodyguard!Rafe. How would they act on NYE? What situation could I put them in? I just thought about what was going on tonight -> New Years Rockin’ Eve. What drama could happen there? -> Maybe she could be performing with a past client of his. What drama would that cause?

9 - Lastly, writing the reader into scenes within the show itself. What is a scene that you think the Pate’s could have expanded? What do you wish they would have done differently? What would Rafe have acted like if the reader was there? What would it have been like if Rafe came home to the reader after that night?

I hope that helps!

#yapping 🪡#chatting writing ✏️#rafesdollette 💕#asks answered 💌

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improbable-implosions · 2 months ago

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In the spirit of @curioscurio 's soup posting lately, I would like to tell y'all about a little tradition of mine, then tell you how I pull it off, so you'll have to excuse me while I go all recipe blog on you, for just a moment.

Video description: A video of a recently oven-warmed bowl of french onion soup, with a moment from The Adventure Zone: Amnesty overlaid in the audio. In this audio clip, Justin McElroy as Duck Newton says the following:

"All I could think about was all the french onion soup I missed, and... if I died, all the french onion soup I'd miss out on in the future! I-I-I swear to god, but I turned down saving the world to eat french onion soup."

After first hearing this particular episode of TAZ, I had to head into town for my once a week upload spree, for at that time, my internet was horrible enough that even getting video up through a coffee shop's internet was an improvement to blocking the connection all weekend at home.

Normally, I'd go into a starbucks, hole up with my tea, scone, and settle in for the long, slow process of these uploads, but this time, that french onion soup really stuck in the back of my head, so I hit up the local panera instead, to give the french onion soup a shot, as I'd never had it before. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I burned the roof of my mouth, but with what was left of my taste buds, I IMMEDIATELY understood how Duck felt. There's something about even a mediocre soup that grounds you into the moment you're living, and for that day, I managed to have a much better time than usual, despite slogging through the ice, snow, and wind to halfway sneakernet my work onto a platform, unsure if any of it'd get seen.

From that first bite, I KNEW I had to have this more often. Sure, the panera version was just average, but I bet I could find a better way if I made it at home. Fast forward to new year's eve, where I found myself at home, all day. Used to be, my mom's side of the family would have a big bash for NYE, but the plague coming down killed that pretty solidly, so I needed something else to do. I normally would watch the Twilight Zone marathon, but I figured this time, well, french onion soup takes so much darned time, might as well spend my day on it!

So, I threw together the ingredients, (roughly based on binging with babish's, just a few edges sanded off, promise, I'll get to explaining it soon) and lo and behold, it's TRULY something that can and should be a highlight of your year! As a result, I've now got a new tradition to go with the twilight zone: Every new year's eve, I spend most of the day working on homemade baguettes and french onion soup, to celebrate with a bowl of something beautiful, difficult, and, most of all, present in the moment, in hopes that my year can go just as well as the moments that I start with. (I've also included my partner in this, but she doesn't care for french onion soup, so she chooses a similarly time-consuming or decadent soup I juggle alongside the onions)

In addition to that, since I'm making FAR more than I can safely eat in the coming week, I take half of it, and throw it in the freezer. This half is, usually, for sometime in July. Halfway through the year, when I have some times where things get rough, (I swear, it's always July and October around here, oof) I break out that french onion soup, as a reminder that good things, good things can come again. The last of that middle-of-the-year batch for 2024 is what we see in the video, by the way!

Anyway, enough of me being sappy, you want a RECIPE, don'tcha?

Ingredients:

2 3 pound bags of onions. I tend to go for a mix of red and vidalia onions here, but you can surely use normal white onions, too!

2 to 4 fennel bulbs (optional, but I find they add some nice anise vibes to the soup)

6 to 12 cups of broth depending on how much you cook your onions.

(preferably beef, but I'm not gonna explode if you use a different one. I tend to use whatever I've got in the freezer from making broth outta my various kitchen scraps, usually most of my post-thanksgiving broth)

1 bottle of dry red wine, of which we use 1 cup (I use cabernet sauvignon, hence the extra half stick of butter, but if you want to omit that half stick, sherry is more traditional!)

1 and 1 half sticks of butter

Grueyere cheese, for melting o'er top! (I also add parmesean and, occasionally, whatever other flavorful cheese I've got lying around)

Baguette chunks, to go beneath the cheese but overtop the soup as a crouton. I just use Claire Saffitz's baguette recipe, mildly adapted for my sourdough starter, to make some demibaguette, but you're well within your rights to instead use a bakery baguette.

various herbs and spices, with particular attention to peppercorns, cloves, garlic, parmesean rind, green onion, parsley, and sage (optional, for boosting the stock)

Equipment:

your favorite chewing gum (yes, really)

A dutch oven, or large enough pot to hold all those onions

A second, medium size pot to reheat the frozen broth in

a knife you're comfortable using a LOT, if not a mandolin for how many onions you're chorpin'

Some sort of scraping implement compatible with your dutch oven, wooden spoon is traditional, but I've been known to use a silicone scraper

Step 1: Chop your onions. Chewing your favorite gum so you don't get whammied by onion stank, first cut them in half, along the line of the root and stem, then remove the paper, roots, and stem. Once you've halved all your onions, cut them in to thin-ish slices, along that same "pole to pole" line, somewhere between a quarter and an eighth of an inch thick, in slices I like to call "structural" size. The onions need enough integrity to withstand the LONG caramelization process, but not so much they take a million years to finish caramelizing.

Step 1.5: Chop your optional fennel, in a similar shape to the onions. If it came with stems, keep those for improving the broth in lieu of cloves!

Step 2: Preheat your dutch oven with the stick of butter. Once that butter has begun to foam, toss your many, many onions and fennel in the pot. it's going to look like WAY too much, but I assure you, it cooks down a remarkable amount.

Step 3: Begin caramelizing your onions. This is a LONG process, even on medium heat. Stir intermittently, you don't want them sticking, but you do want them to slowly shed fond onto the pot. I do it until they're starting to progress beyond jammy into something so dark as to nearly resemble the wine we'll be deglazing with. Do I overdo it? maybe! There's a reason I do this once a year, it takes easily half the day!

Step 3.5: If you're using store bought broth here, add it to your second pot, alongside the various spices and herbs, and perhaps a few celery stock and carrot chunks. Leave it on a middling simmer in the back while you're caramelizing onions, so it takes on all those delicious flavors.

Step 4: Once the onions have become donion enough for you, deglaze with that cup of wine. Scrape THOROUGHLY, all that fond has a TON of flavor!

Step 5: Add the half stick of butter immediately after getting the fond up, you've got to counteract those tannins!

Step 6: Add the broth, straining out those spices and additions if you used them. If it doesn't seem soupy enough, add some heated water to balance it out, you've done SO much to build flavor here, it's not going to explode if you dilute a smidge. I like to just see the texture of the onions in the fluid when I stir. Let it come up to a full simmer, if not a light boil, and hold it there until the alcohol has cooked off to your liking. (I let it hold for a Good While, as I like to taste the flavors, not the booze)

Step 7: Plating! Mostly fill an oven safe bowl or ramekin with your delicious, delicious soup, plonk enough baguette chunks overtop to fill the surface area, then grate a (frankly) irresponsible volume of your cheeses on top of that. Toss the whole affair in a 350f oven until the cheese is browned, bubbly, and you can't stand waiting a single second longer!

The world is full of problems for us to solve, my friends. Remember to take a break just before you feel you need it, life is something chipped away at day by day.

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