#This actually turned out so much better than I thought it would

[teliphone]

Love like a Fool

Summary: I shouldn’t known from the moment my heart felt more for Caitlyn, that it was a mistake. I thought love was supposed to be about taking risks and loving like a fool. I don’t want to regret anything, but I have to limit myself because she feels uneasy. Is it because of me? I must be lacking in many ways. I promised myself to get better. I need to prove to others that I can.  

Warning: Slight fluff then pure angst 

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman X Fem Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

-

The target moves back and forth in quick and uneven motion as a way to stimulate the movement of humans. I place the sniper rifle closer to my body. The cold metal pressed against my chest. I narrow my eyes at the target watching it jerk back and forth. I place my finger against the trigger as I start to steady my breathing. My heart rate begins to slow. The breeze in the air seems to be silent for a moment. My eyes quickly shift to focus on one target as it starts rolling toward the center of the scope. A loud bang comes from my gun as I press the trigger. The smell of gun smoke reaches my nose as the smoke rises from the nozzle. I lower the gun and tilt my body to examine the shot. A hole is evident on the target, but not where I was trying to aim. The bullet was several inches below the head of the target. I frown and feel disappointment arising from within. 

I want to be better and prove to others that I can take on tougher tasks. I’ve been assigned as an enforcer, stuck with the simple role of Piltover's council gatekeeper. I want to be part of the bigger action, specifically, to be part of Caitlyn’s team. 

I know I am capable, or at least… I hope I am. 

News spread that Caitlyn Kiramman has become a Sheriff and I couldn’t agree more. She is amazing at her job. I’ve secretly studied her in admiration. I saw her in action. She is stern and confident, but at the same time so graceful. She balances fear and love so well. Her facade never falls to others, but I sense there’s a softness in her gaze when she notices me. It’s a quick and small look, so I can’t put a finger on it. All I can do in response is smile back while feeling my cheeks heat up. 

“Practicing again?” A voice snaps me out of daydreaming. A recognizable British accent. Refined and poised. I turn my head to see Caitlyn standing with her arms crossed. I widen my eyes before saluting her. She has a soft grinning smirk on her lips. Her beautiful long blue hair falls over her shoulders. She’s in her work uniform, seemingly that she just finished a task. 

“Yes,” I quickly respond to her question. She chuckles shortly and walks over, eyeing the target. She stops next to me, a little closer than I expected and I feel my heart rate increase. My eyes quickly flicker at the curves of her body then back down the ground in respect. 

“You practice quite a lot,” She notes. This isn’t the first time I’ve bumped into her at the practice shooting area. It’s actually quite often. Caitlyn is strict with her studies and skills. She needs to do things perfectly right. It is not strange to find her at the shooting range after work hours. She has gotten used to seeing me there as well. She never said it, but I believe she likes how I’m willing to get better. She notices how other enforcers don’t practice as much.

I shyly run my hand on the back of my neck. Her eyes glance down to watch my reaction. I peek between my eyelashes and make eye contact with her. The closeness and eye contact make me unconsciously grip the gun. I quickly look back down to the ground. Examining the distance between our shoes. 

“I want to prove to others I can be good,” I finally admit. I didn’t want to reveal the part where I dream of being in her team. 

That would be too silly of a confession. 

She raises her eyebrows and pauses, deep in thought. The wind gently blows against my bare skin as silence coats the air. I feel anxiety increasing while she continues to stare at me, motionless and speechless. There’s a shift in her eyes, a shift that I don’t understand. 

Does she think I can’t be good? Is she too afraid to tell me the truth? 

Thoughts swirl in my head naturally. It’s a negative trait that I endure every day. My mind runs thousands of thoughts that can be entirely false. But I also believe certain voices are true, but I have yet to distinguish the two. I furrow my eyebrows and force myself to look away from her. I couldn’t bear to continue to theorize what her expression meant. I hear her shift her body to lean her body weight against the bullet-loading table. 

“I can help you,” She offers. I feel my heart stop pounding to make sure I didn’t hear her wrong. I jerk my head up with wide eyes. Caitlyn, the best sniper shooter, is going to help me. 

“Are you serious?” I hesitate. What did I do to deserve this special treatment from her? She simply nods and a few hair strands fall over her face. She smiles while brushing her bangs behind her ear. I am still speechless, not knowing what to do next. She figures and gently reaches for my gun. Her fingers curl around the handle, a few centimeters from my hand. She brings it up to my chest. I look at her in confusion yet again. 

“Show me how you aim,” She orders. I lick my lips and move quickly to action. I do not want to waste a single second of getting trained by her. I turn my body to the targets and lift the gun up. I lean my head down to look through the scope. Suddenly I feel Caitlyn move her body to locate behind me. Her fingers gently tilt the tip of the gun at a specific angle. Her other hand moves to my hip. Like a young girl in love, my heart pounds hard. I would also blame the fact that I am touched starved. Working as an enforcer limits the time I can spend romanticizing with others. People also avoid me. I am no one special, I like to believe. 

This is far from romantic. I know she doesn’t like me, but with her body heat pressing against me. I can’t help it. It’s quite embarrassing. 

“You should stand more straight,” She corrects. I shiver at the realization of how close her lips are to my ears. The distance sends chills down my body. No amount of daydreaming can make up for this moment. I shallow away my emotions and straighten my back. I feel myself press against her chest. 

“Slow down your heartbeat and breathing,” She chuckles. My cheeks start warming. 

“Sorry,” I squeak. She doesn’t respond, but instead continues to coach. She removes her hand from my hip and grips my shoulders. She reminds me to tighten my muscles and grip. Once she is satisfied with my position, she removes herself and stands back. I secretly let out a breath of relief. If she continued pressing her body against me, I wouldn't be able to perform accurately. That was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. 

“Now focus and calculate the timing,” She orders. I close my eyes to calm my breathing. When I feel my heartbeat going at a steady pace, I open my eyes. My sight completely focuses on the target. 

I need to get this right. I have to impress Caitlyn. 

My attention zooms into a specific target and I press into the trigger. Another loud bang echoes into the sky. I let out a shaky breath of anticipation. I immediately lower my gun to look at the target. I guess my hope was too high. The bullet hole was a few centimeters from the head. Better than before, but not perfect. 

Not perfect enough for Caitlyn. 

My shoulders slowly drop and I feel anxious thoughts creeping up again. I frown and look at her nervously. I don’t know what to expect. To my surprise, she seems sort of proud. 

“Good job,” She compliments. 

-

A couple of months of training have passed faster than I realize. I am surprised at how long she agreed to train me. No one else has gotten this special treatment. Even though there are times when she’s tired from a mission, she would still show up. As time went on it wasn't just training anymore. We would go out to eat dinner or a picnic on a sunny day. Not only have my skills increased, but my crush on her did as well. I spent too much time with her to not develop deeper feelings. I didn’t want to. I wanted things professional, just in case I ruined things. 

The more time we spent together, the more people talked about us. Baseless rumors begin to spread. I didn’t want to hear it, but people spoke loudly- as if I wasn’t there. They all picture me as someone who manipulated her way to Caitlyn. That I am nothing special. I have no rich or authoritative name for myself. No one knew who I was until I started involving myself with her. 

I thought these accusations would cause Caitlyn to stay away from me. She’s everything I’m not. After all, she has an image to keep. I do not want to stain it. 

But, she never stopped. 

Caitlyn started to teach me about combat. She wanted to enhance not only my shooting skills but my fighting as well.  

So here we are, standing on the mat with our fists up. I suck in a deep breath as sweat begins collecting on my neck. I feel a slight painful sore developing on my stomach from her punch that I failed to block. She gestures a finger at me to make the first move. I launch myself to her and she swiftly dodges and elbows my back. I grunt and stumble on my footing. I gather myself, not wanting to give up and turn to face her. Her eyes hint with glee when she notices a shift in my face. I clench my jaw and focus on her moves. Then I saw it. A small opening where I can tackle her. I rush forward, grabbing her arm. She lets out a gasp in surprise before I hurl her onto the ground. I quickly pin her onto the ground by locking my thighs around her wrist. 

I smiled brightly, my eyes sparkling. I finally did it. Her chest moves up and down quickly as she gets lost in my joy. She places her elbow onto the ground to support half her body up. I continued smiling, unaware of the plan she had in mind. 

She leans her head closer, testing the waters. Her lips linger over mine before she pulls back a little. Her heavy-lidded eyes gaze up. My smile begins to slowly drop in realization. I gulp and a blush appears on my cheeks. Her eyes flicker from my lips and back to my eyes. I hesitate, not knowing what to do, but I lean forward. Eager to capture her lips, but afraid to make the first move. She gently smiles, understanding my actions before closing the distance.

Her soft lips pressed against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fist.  She brings her hands up to touch my cheeks. Her thumbs draw a circle while her soft lips continue to move. I lean deeper into the kiss, wanting to permanently remember this moment forever. All my anxious thoughts seem to be silent just for a short moment. She is the first to pull away from the kiss. Leaning her forehead against mine. I place my hand over hers and smile. 

Caitlyn’s eyes suddenly become stern and she pulls her body away. My mind races in worry. I furrow my eyebrows while looking at her in confusion. 

“I’m sorry,” She apologizes. I shake my head slowly, trying to understand. 

Was the kiss a mistake? Did I do something wrong? 

“I…” I hesitate. I worry about my next words. I worried that she would push herself away if I said the wrong things. I wanted to confess my feelings, but I was afraid I would embarrass myself if she said it was a mistake. I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I feared she would think I didn’t feel anything. A part of me was so terrified that she did feel something for me, but the kiss awakened a realization in her. 

I never got the chance to gather my thoughts before she got up. I try to reach out and grab her wrist, but she hurries away. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll… see you sometime again,” She says before disappearing. I feel my eyes begin to water. My anxious thoughts may be right this time. As much as I try to think of a different conclusion, my negativity chokes up any other possible reasoning. 

-

Caitlyn avoided me. Every time she sees me walking by, she turns in the other direction. I try to force a smile. Understanding that she may be struggling with her thoughts. All I can do for her is to wait. I need to understand that I’m not enough for her. After several more days, I thought she had forgotten me. I went to my regular shooting range hoping to bump into her, but she never showed up. 

As I walk with my head down, I see a pair of shoes stop in front of me. I can immediately recognize her shoes. Caitlyn had blocked my walking pathway. I jerk back in surprise before examining her in confusion. Her eye circles are dark and her hair is messy. It seems like she has been lacking sleep. She licks her lips and plays with her fingers. I stand silent with a pounding heart, waiting for her to speak. She lets out a breath and I brace myself for the worst. 

“I’m sorry I avoided you,” She begins. I pause for a moment as her words sink. I summon my confidence by clenching my fist. My lips waver as I try to smile at her. I wasn’t actually happy, but I wanted to show her I appreciated her stepping up. I understand why she would want to avoid me. 

“It’s okay,” I answer, a little shaky for my liking. She glances around the hall as I assume she’s making sure no one else is around. A few people walk by, giving me an unexplainable stare. I tilt my head to the side to avoid people’s eyes. She then grabs my hand and tugs me along with her. I stumble on my footsteps to catch up with her. She pulls us into a dark room and slams the door. She breathes heavily, her chest moving up and down before turning to face me again. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. I can still see her figure with the small lamp in the corner. 

“I… I think I like you,” She confesses like the truth has been choking her to death. It's as if it’s a surprise that someone like her could be interested in someone like me. She stared at me with a scared expression like she didn’t fully understand herself. I feel my heart ache, but I force a smile again. 

She’s been struggling because of me. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but I realized I couldn’t say anything. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit. I shift my body weight uncomfortably. My hands come up to wrap themselves around me. A poor attempt to comfort myself. She pushes herself from the door and walks over to me. She hesitates a little, before reaching down to touch my hands. I stare at the way her fingers hold mine. She’s so gentle. 

“I want to try and love you,” She pauses, “but we have to do it in secret,” 

I tilt my head up to look at the sincerity in her eyes. I can tell she is worried. Wondering how people would view her if they found out she was meeting up with someone lowly like me. Debating if this reveal would hurt my feelings. It’s a little humorous that she doesn’t know the lengths I would go for her. 

I tightened my grip on her hands and tugged her a little closer. I examine the beauty that reflects off the orange light. She’s a beautiful woman worthy of respect and care. I remove one hand from her hold and place it on her cheeks. She leans into the touch, letting out a shaky breath. 

“I would do anything for you,” I confess like a fool in love. Her eyes dilate and she lets out a sigh of relief. Her shoulders relax as she finally smiles.

-

I never thought how much more I could fall for Caitlyn. I love her. I didn’t care about the hidden touches behind doors. The secret messages we pass. It was our love that I couldn’t regret. We completely ignore each other when passing by in the halls. Oh, how I wish I could shout to the world about her. Rumors between her and I have successfully died out. 

I wait patiently in my room, waiting for the skies to become darker so that Caitlyn can sneak her way over. I hear quiet quick knocks on the door. I stumble my way over and swing the door open. She stands with a shy smile on her face. I quickly grab her wrist and tug her in, slamming the door behind me. 

I pull her into a hug, soaking in her warmth and scent. She hugs back with the same amount of eagerness. We stay silent for a few more seconds before I pull away.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen, “I can start preparing-“ 

She calls my name, cutting me off. I stop in my tracks to look at her. She seems hesitant again, her eyes wavering. A look that brings me back to the day we stood in the dark room. 

“I have to tell you something,” She explains. She starts walking to the coach and I follow along. I sit down, my knees brushing against hers. She reaches over to touch my hand with a stern look. 

“I got put on a very important case,” She says. I widen my eyes and smile. 

“Well, that’s great news right?” I chirp. She lets out a nervous laugh. Her gaze averts to the side for a brief second. My smile begins to drop slightly. 

“It is… but I have to be gone for a year,” She reveals.

“A year?” I repeat slowly. My grip starts to loosen from her hold. I shouldn’t be scared, but there is a part of me that worries. So much can happen in a year. 

“It’s a mission to go to the undercity and-“

I start to zone out. Undercity? That place is filled with horror stories. No sane person dares to step foot in there. At least that was how I was taught by others. I can’t imagine myself letting Caitlyn go down there. It’s just not safe. 

She squeezes my hands and I look back at her. My face is mixed with many emotions. I should not stop her from doing her job, but I don’t want her gone for a year in Undercity. What if she gets hurt and I can’t find her? How can I make a decision when I am unsure of myself? 

“Can you wait for me?” She whispers. 

The decision has already been made. 

I squeeze my eyes shut as I turn my head to the side. I didn’t want her to see me cry. She places her hands on my cheeks and slowly turns me to face her. I feel the warmth of her hands. 

“…when do you leave?” I sniff. 

“Tomorrow morning,” She responds. Time seems to pause for a moment. I wish it stayed like that; so that I could stay by her side longer. Tomorrow? This is so soon and sudden. I searched in Caitlyn’s eyes to find some type of hesitation, but there was nothing. I force myself to smile as my heart feels crushed. Nothing is going to stop her, not even my feelings. I understand that feelings alone can’t dictate her decision, but I wish it was considered just a little bit more. 

Did she really care about how I would feel? Did I not cross her mind when she accepted the mission? Do I matter that little? 

All the anxious thoughts blew away when Caitlyn pulled me in for a hug. How foolish am I to disregard my hurt so fast for her? Love makes a person a fool. 

-

Five months have passed since Caitlyn left to go to the Undercity. I have gotten used to the feeling of being alone. This feeling is rather normal and something I am more familiar with. I still keep my duties of guarding the gates of the council building. Days and days of people not sparing me a second glance as they walk by. I sometimes wonder if they would even notice if I didn’t show up one day. 

I keep the house clean. Making sure Caitlyn’s extra clothes are tucked neatly in my closet, ready for the day she comes back. When I lay in bed, I close my eyes and place my hand on the side where she usually lays. I imagine she is next to me. Humming and running her fingers through my hair. I smile for a moment, then frown when I realize I’m daydreaming again. It’s awfully cold without her touch. 

11 months have passed and I feel impatient for her return. The picture I keep on the desk lacks dust by how many times I’ve touched it. Running my fingers across her face to remind myself of how soft her skin feels. My heart squeezes when I examine the bright smile that the camera captures. I gently place the picture down and lean my head against the cold surface of the desk. 

Just a little more. I can wait, just like how she asked me to do. A simple task. I can do it. 

-

1 year and 1 month has passed. Anxiety eats away my skin as I scratch the surface with my nails. The councils ordered a one-month expansion, just in case Caitlyn had something important to do before they sent out a search for her. The enforcers are starting to become worried at the lack of her appearance. 

The councils issue a meeting to form a team of three of the best enforcers. I stand by the door with a racing heart, listening to the councils talk amongst themselves. They list off the best enforcers on documents. The back of my neck starts to feel hot. My feet feel the urge to step forward. I must go to find my love. I find myself walking forward recklessly.

“I apologize for my unprofessional behavior, but please allow me to join the team,” My voice clashes and silences the room. I glance around to see the confused look on their faces. They had no idea I was there. 

“And who are you?” One of the council's questions. They rub their fingers together with an amused smile. I bow down to show my respect. I tell them my name and title, with a shaky voice. There’s another pause again, til I hear someone snicker. That causes a domino effect where they all start to laugh. I bite my bottom lip as an embarrassing blush forms on my cheeks. My eyes water, tears forming at the edge. I turn my head down to stare at the floor. They question me and my motives:

“I never even noticed her there,”

“What can a gatekeeper do?”

“I admire how much courage that little girl has,”

“Why are you so concerned?” Mrs. Kiramman’s question sounds the clearest among the others. I tilt my head up to look at her. The truth feels like acid in my throat. Caitlyn had asked me to keep our relationship a secret. I must keep the promise. It’s not like it was hard to do so. I fully understand now why Caitlyn wanted it that way. They don’t take me seriously. I am just a laughing stock at this moment. I can’t dirty her name. 

I lick my trembling lips and shake my head. 

“I-I just want to-”

“I’m sorry dear, but we have an important discussion to do. The fate of my daughter relies on someone who can actually save her. Return to your position,” Mrs. Kiramman orders. I choke back my words. The little courage I have left vanishes. I quickly bow once more before walking back to my place. They return back to their conversation as normal, while I fight back tears. The uniform feels hot and stuffy against my skin. I feel unworthy of wearing the enforcer gear. 

The moon appears bright in the sky as I sneak my way down the streets. I tug my hoodie closer to hide my face as I make my way to the Undercity. I am going to search for Caitlyn on my own. 

The air starts to become more dense. I have never been here before. I can feel my anxious heart beating rapidly. A few strangers study me as I walk by. I grip my jacket closer to my body, avoiding their eyes. My footsteps quicken with one solid plan in mind. 

Find Caitlyn. 

I didn’t care how reckless I was being. Walking into the Undercity with no solid plan. I can’t even confidently say I can protect myself. Anything can happen to me before I can even find her. 

After walking for several minutes I realized how big this city is. I can’t just simply bump into her. I desperately look around to find someone that looks the least threatening. The task was harder to do than I expected. Most of the people are drunk or hunching their bodies as they are ready to launch forward. I scan more until I find a young boy. Innocent eyes with a few dirt marks scuffed on his cheeks. I walk to him, trying not to scare him off. He seems hesitant at first before I take my hoodie off to show my face. His shoulders visually relax. I kneel down to eye level with him. 

“Hi, can you help me find someone?” I whisper. His eyes dart around then back to me. He doesn’t respond. I shuffle around in my pocket to find money. Once I pull it out his eyes brighten. He quickly nods his head in agreement. 

“Can you help me find Caitlyn Kiramman? She is about this tall,” I stand to gesture her height, “she has blue hair and a sharp nose,” 

I try my best to describe her to him. I hoped that the description was enough for him. Caitlyn doesn’t look like she belongs in the Undercity. It must be easy to locate her. 

The young boy ponders for a moment before his eyes brighten. He places his hand out and motions me to hand the cash. I place it on top of his hand and he quickly puts it in his pocket. He gestures to me to follow along, his little footsteps patter on the ground. It took about several minutes before he paused and pointed down the street. I tilt my head to examine the low-light street. 

“She’s there?-“ I ask, but the little boy has already run off. I softly chuckle before composing myself. My heart quickens and the sound of my breathing is loud due to how quiet the streets are. I stand still for a moment to evaluate the setting. That’s when I hear a gentle giggle. 

A giggle that sends a wave of crashing memories. My eyes begin to water as I hear the sound again. It’s Caitlyn. I am sure of it. I silently follow the sound. I hear another voice, but can’t make out who it could be. Maybe Caitlyn made a friend while she was staying here. The sound leads me to a tunnel with stairs. 

I hide beside the walls and peek up the tunnel. There in the middle of the stairs is Caitlyn with another woman. My eyes widen in joy. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I can’t contain my excitement. I found her! She’s alive and well! I open my mouth to excitedly shout her name, but quickly stop. 

Caitlyn places her hands on the woman’s hip, pulling her closer. She giggles again, biting the bottom of her lip. The woman sweetly smiles and leans her head closer. She kisses Caitlyn slowly, running her hands down her waist. 

Overwhelming sorrow sinks deep within me. My eyes become glossy, blurring my vision of them. My hand jerks up to grip my chest. It squeezes and pounds in pain. I never knew my heart could physically hurt. I gasp for air as I feel like I’m about to collapse. I lose my footing for a moment, sliding against the wall. I place a hand on the cold wall to hold myself.

I hear Caitlyn softly calling out my name in confusion. I quickly blink to clear my vision. Caitlyn walks down the stairs till she stands in front of me. She stares at me with a shocked expression. I feel myself forcing a stupid smile again. I squeeze my chest to numb the pain again. 

“…Hi,” I choke out. A failed attempt to sound happy. Her eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head.  

“What are you doing here?” She asks. I want to cry out laughing. How can she ask that question? It’s been longer than a year, did she lose track of time? Was she too busy? 

“Who is this?” The woman beside her asks. Caitlyn's eyes move back and forth anxiously. 

“…She’s just an enforcer,” Caitlyn reveals. I furrow my eyebrows in despair and disgust. I’m just an enforcer to her? 

Was all the lovely touches nothing to her? Did the day she cried on my lap mean nothing? Whose name did she moan out when I touched her? 

Without thinking I march up to her to push her. At least something to express my hurt, but the woman steps in front and shoves me hard. I slam against the wall and let out a small grunt. I already feel small and pathetic against her strength. 

“Wait, stop,” Caitlyn hurries to stop the woman. I peek up from my watery eyelashes, breathing heavily. 

“She’s lying,” I quietly laugh. The woman clenches her fist and walks up to me. She grabs a fistful of my jacket around my neck. I try clawing at her hands, but it was no use. She forces me to look at her. 

“Who are you?” She hisses again. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I would wipe it off, but my hand is wrapped around hers. I painfully smile again. 

“Her secret lover,” I choke out. I don’t have to keep it in anymore. The weight lifts off my shoulders. I had always wished the reveal was going to be for something better, nicer, and more beautiful. Yet we are here in the cold night air as I gasp for air. I take a peek at Caitlyn to see her face scrunch in guilt. The woman let go of me. I suck in a deep breath while sliding down to the ground. I grip my throat and tug the collar of my jacket away. I feel too suffocated by everything. 

I collect myself as much as I can before standing up again. I try to reach out and touch Caitlyn, but I pause and hesitate. My hands are shaking. I quickly bring it back to my chest to stop it from shaking so much. I lick my lips and look at her with pleading eyes. 

“I came to look for you,” I explain. 

“Why?” 

Why? 

“You were gone for more than a year! I was left wondering if you got hurt! I got worried,” I cry out. Caitlyn shifts her footing uncomfortably. She avoids my eyes by looking around. 

“Caitlyn…why are you being like this?” My voice cracks. The way she is treating me hurts so much. I don’t feel valued or special. As if… I’m just a nobody, just like how everyone else viewed me. I thought I was different to her. 

“Please talk to me!” I beg. A tear escaped from my eyes as I wept. I clench my chest to hold myself. She breathes heavily while her eyes dart around. She looks worried and guilty. 

“Was it because of her?” I direct it towards the woman, who scuffs in response. Caitlyn doesn’t reply. I take a step towards the woman, not understanding my actions. She clenches her jaw and rotates her wrist to get ready. Her eyes glisten against the street lights. Possession and challenge are evident on her face. I can tell she wants to fight me for Caitlyn. 

I am not backing down. I’ve trained hard for this. 

She swings her fist at me, but I dodge it. I launch my body to collapse her, but she wraps her arm around my waist. She elbows my back hard til I let go. She swings again and knocks the left side of my cheek. I stumble back and yelp in pain. I bring my hand up to cup my throbbing cheek. She is so quick and strong. With just one punch it sent me backward. I glare at her nervously. 

“Giving up so easily?” The woman laughs. I spit blood out my mouth and stand up again. She flickers her fingers to motion me forward. I swing my fist and she dodges, allowing her a clear shot at my stomach. I grunt and stumble back again. I gained my balance and I ran to her again, swinging recklessly. She punches my face near my nose. Pain shoots down my spine. I fall down and immediately grip my nose. Blood flows out and onto my hands. My chest moves up and down fast. I want to cry, but I choke it back when I look at Caitlyn. She stands with a worried look. She looks at me and the woman, pondering who she should care for more.

I need to prove I can be better. I need to show her I can protect her. I stumble to my feet, wiping my bloody nose with the back of my hand. 

The woman launches and lands a few punches on my face and stomach. I am gasping for air as I try to keep up. I try to swing to at least land one hit, but she easily dodges. Caitlyn watches me get beat up over and over. She looks away, clenching her eyes shut.

I failed her. 

I collapse onto the ground, choking out blood. Wheezing for air painfully. I knew I looked pitiful. Bruised, bloody, and crying. The woman looked untouched. I just embarrassed myself in front of Caitlyn. I try to get myself back up, but the pain pierces throughout my body. I stumble and fall again. I end up kneeling, my hands weak by my side. The woman tries to come to me again, but Caitlyn stops her by shoving her back. She begs her to stop hitting me. 

No, it shouldn’t have been this way. I needed to win to get her back. She can’t be the one begging for mercy. I had to be the winner. I can… 

I look down and watch my warm blood drip down onto the ground. Realization settles in my stubborn mind. 

I can’t protect her with these weak skills. I lost. 

Caitlyn's eyes shift and darken. She grips her fist and glares at me. She is angry that I am trying so hard to win her. That I allow myself to get beat up so badly knowing I can’t win- a fool so in love with her. I look up through my puffy and bloody eyes. I smile, feeling my lips crack open. 

“I’m sorry,” I wept. She forces herself to look away as tears roll down her face. Words continue to pour out from my lips. 

“I’m sorry I am not strong enough.

I’m sorry if… I ever embarrassed you.

I understand why you wanted us to be a secret… why you left and found someone who can protect you. 

I tried so hard to prove myself, but what’s the point anymore… I just simply can’t. 

People are right about me. They always were… and deep inside you knew it.” 

Tears continually roll down my cheeks. I could no longer fake a smile anymore. How can I put on a facade when I am evidently broken and weak? I bring my hands to my heart. An attempt to shield and comfort myself. My body shakes as I cry. I can’t blame her for hurting me. My understanding and naive heart is a curse made to ruin me. I loved too much and recklessly. It’s my fault.

Caitlyn brings a hand up to her mouth to silence her cries. She shakes her head. Millions of emotions crash in her mind, but she can't speak it out. It’s too late. She can not undo the mistakes she has made. 

The damage had already been made the moment she laid eyes on you. 

[bullet-prooflove]

Such A Good Girl: Ryan x Reader (Yellowstone)

Tagging: @kmc1989 @trublu2u @Yousigned-upforthis @queenslandlover-93 @hal3ynicol3

Companion piece to:

With Me (NSFW) - Ryan and you send the night together for the first time.

The Morning After - Ryan and you enjoy the morning together.

Adrenaline - Ryan gets turned on by your capability.

My Favourite Kind of Night (NSFW) - Ryan and you send the night together at a law enforcement conference.

Bed Breaking (NSFW) - Ryan breaks your bed.

Marks - Ryan decides he wants to commit.

Wishes - Ryan wishes things were different between the two of you.

Stop Thinking, Start Listening - Ryan hates seeing you with another man.

Kitty - Ryan knows something's not right when he seees you with another man.

The problem is Ryan can’t keep his nose out of your shit, not when he knows you’re doing something dangerous. The thought of you out there undercover, it makes his skin itch because the assholes you work with they don’t have your back, they’ve never had your back. That was made abundantly clear during the first couple of cases the two of you worked on together when you came hurtling in like the cavalry despite the fact there was a hold order on their backup due to a dispute between the Sheriff and John Dutton.

“I think I owe you a drink, for saving my ass back there.” He had told you in the aftermath as he stood on the steps of the precinct, hands tucked into pockets of his jeans.

“You owe me more than a drink. I’ve just got my first write up.” You’d told him, your hands running through your hair as you tied it back into a messy bun. “I was such a good girl before I met you.”

He finds out later that night how much of a good girl you really are and you find out how much of a bad boy he is.

In the present he sits in his car and he thinks over everything he’s learned over the past couple of hours. The ATF believe guns are being run through a microbrewery in Bozeman owned by Sebatian Myers, you’d been selected to pitch in because you’d run a similar operation back in Alabama before you made the switch to Montana. There have been no wire tap warrants, no surveillance requests, they’re running this like you’re a C.I which means you’re out there entirely on your own. What’s actually puzzling to him is the reason that you agreed to it. That op in Alabama, it had ended badly for you. Ryan’s seen the scars, he’s kissed them in the dead of night. Three stab wounds all in your left side, you’d lost your kidney and an enormous amount of blood. You couldn’t be around the department after that, especially after you learned it was your partner who ratted you out, a man you’d worked alongside for three years, who had gambling debts coming out of every orifice.

“I learned my lesson.” You had told him as his fingers had trailed over each of those scars. “Undercover work isn’t for me.”

It’s when he flicks through the file on Myers that he realises what your investment is. Two years ago Myers had been linked to the rape and murder of a teenager from the reservation. It was one of  several cases you inherited from your predecessor. You’d tried to reopen it but the reservation police wouldn’t trade information with you and it wasn’t a priority to the Sheriff’s office so you’d been forced to stand down. You used to have nightmares about it because you felt like you were failing those girls, you’d wake up in a cold sweat and Ryan, he would be right there holding you, soothing you.

He knows you, he knows those cases were something you had never been able to let go because you were convinced that it was still happening, that the killer had just gotten better at concealing it. When the opportunity to investigate Myers had come up you wouldn’t have been able to resist. You’d dressed yourself up and walked straight into the lion’s dean, no back up, no safe guards, just you.

He’s fucking livid because he knows you wouldn’t be pulling this shit if the two of you were together, he would have talked you down, figured out another way.

But you aren’t and that’s  why Ryan’s now sitting outside Myers’ place, his gaze fixed on the windows because he can’t let you do this alone. He won’t let you do this alone.

Love Ryan? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for @miri-tiazan; “the one where omegaverse fucks up Red Hood’s life”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Jason needs to leave. He needs to–he needs to go, and–and–

And Dick is in his nest and clinging to him like something desperate, and calling him “little wing”. 

Stop it, Jason tries to say, but can’t say, and Dick makes a pained, half-feral sound and drags the inside of his wrist against the side of Jason’s throat his nose isn’t buried in, like he–like he’s trying to scent him, and just–just didn’t–just doesn’t– 

Jason makes a sound that’s much worse than just “pained”, himself, and tries to curl in on himself again. Like this, though, that just curls him around Dick, and–and he just wants–he still just wants– 

Dick’s wrist fumbles against his throat, and then he yanks it back to himself and turns his mouth just enough to sink his alpha fangs into his glove and yank it off and expose the scent blocker on his wrist, and Jason thinks the arm that’s still locked around him is going to pull back, thinks Dick might–might actually be about to take it off, might want to really scent him, might–

Jason doesn’t let himself think that, because Dick doesn’t want him. 

And Dick doesn’t let go of him at all, and rips the blocker off his wrist with his fangs in a reckless rush that nicks his own skin like he just has to do it, and then shoves his wrist back in against the pulse in Jason’s throat and drags blood and messy, unfocused scent across his throat that isn’t any more coherent than just pack pack pack pack mine my pack MINE– 

The bastard somehow smells even better than Jason remembered, and he remembered him smelling very, very good. 

Fucking figures, some distant part of Jason thinks, and then he just sobs into Dick’s shoulder and hates him for it, for this, for the fucking lie of that fucking scent, and Dick buries his mouth back in against the other side of his throat and presses his wrist in so tight against his pulse that’s it’s physically painful too and says–and says– 

“Jason, Robin, Jason, you could’ve just told me, you didn’t have to ask me for that, I’d have–” 

Jason doesn’t even know what “that” Dick means–if he means asking him to come into his nest at all, or–or pup him, or–or what he’s about to claim he would have–would have–

But–but it doesn’t matter anyway, because– 

“Didn’t ask for anything I didn’t want,” the stupid, stupid kid he really thought he’d burned out of himself mutters against Dick’s shoulder, voice rough and fucking–mulish, even, and he almost wants to fucking laugh about it, because he just–he sounds like that kid, he sounds like a fucking brat– 

Of course he does, with Dick right here and calling him–calling him that.

[animeomegas]

blowing some boys' back out please x3 your choice of 'em

that's 2 imprecise help neji gaara, sasuke, and minato? :3 bonus if the alpha is big in size. I'll be 🍷 anon if not already taken ! mwah

(Hey, welcome 🍷 anon! Let's see~)

N-sfw under cut

Let's set the scene!

It was a rough night last night, enthusiastic, hot, and very heavy.

And some soreness is totally normal after nights like this, especially when you consider your... greater than average size *cough*

But when your omega gets up the next morning, it's clear that the soreness is more than normal.

He's waddling around the house, holding himself gingerly, still kind of dazed from last night.

He probably has some emerging bruises in sensitive places, a few pulled muscles, too.

Maybe you were a little too enthusiastic 😅

But how does he react?

Neji

He is deeply unimpressed by you.

He's sending you dirty looks, blaming you for his current condition and conveniently forgetting how much he was begging for it to be harder last night.

"How am I supposed to go shopping like this? 😠"

You better be pampering him to say sorry.

He's going to settle down on the couch and you'll be doing all the chores and massaging the sore parts of his body.

Bring him snacks and butter him up with lots of lovey dovey apologies and he'll forgive you.

And then ask for that kind of sex again the next week smh.

Gaara

Concerned boy is concerned :(

Rough sex is extremely out of character for him, and so something must have triggered it. Perhaps extremely heightened emotions?

I'm not sure, but he's regretting it so much :(

He knew rough sex was a bad idea. He kind of feels bad about the whole thing.

For a shinobi, his pain tolerance is pretty low, but he still has to get to work because he has a village to run...

He keeps his composure remarkably well at work, but he goes home early and he expects lots of cuddles and kisses and gentle affection.

It's one of the only sex things that he won't overshare with his siblings because he's genuinely embarrassed by injuries that occurred from his perceived lack of control. He feels like he should know better.

Give him lots of love, okay?

Sasuke

He is SOOOOO embarrassed.

And he's pissed at you. But he won't say that because he's too busy pretending that nothing is wrong.

This lasts for all of 5 minutes before he realises that pretending he's fine means leaving the house like this, and he'd rather DIE.

So, the man who would try to train or take a mission while literally delirious with illness, actually takes a day off and hides in bed.

A bed that he kicks you out of by the way.

(but you can probably sneak back in with some well placed nuzzles)

What is he even so embarrassed about?

People knowing he has sex? Kinda, yes.

How fucking ridiculous he looks waddling around? Absolutely.

Not being strong enough to physically take his alpha without injury? Yes...

DO NOT tease him!

Just apologise once and then make him breakfast and don't bring it up ever again 😅

Minato

He's a bit sheepish about the situation, because he remembers begging for it to be harder, and he should have known better.

Oh well! Now he knows better, and well, it was pretty hot.

He gets a bit turned on thinking about it, which probably hurts, so that train of thought dies quickly.

He will probably tease you about being so big and rough lol

To be honest though, he's totally fine, and he'll say "you don't have to do that" everytime you try to apologise or make it up to him.

He would appreciate you running him a bath and making him some food though, just to show him that you love him.

Let's just hope that he's not teaching that day 🙏🏻 Because he is not as subtle as he thinks.

Or working as Hokage... Because his guard definitely know how he spent yesterday evening 😏

[hees-mine]

Birthday girl - L. Heeseung

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, multiple orgasms, cursing, stepcest, daddy kink, dirty talk, cheating.

Genre: 18+, stepcest.

Word count: 2k+

-

“Mom, just one, please. I promise it’ll only be one.” It was your 21st birthday, and you celebrated in the kitchen with your mom and your stepdad as you begged her to let you have your first shot on the day you officially turned 21.

“No, I never had a shot at 21,” she simply answers, turning away from you and putting away the leftover cake she had your stepdad buy from the store cause she apparently couldn’t be bothered to get one for you herself.

“Mom, come on, that’s not fair!” You whined. “I’m literally an adult,” you reasoned.

“And you’re literally under my roof,” she replies back nonchalantly like she always does. You hated it when she acted like this.

She would always hold things over your head: no sleepovers, no parties, no boyfriends, no nothing, and it’s not cause she was looking out for you. It’s cause she was jealous of you.

She always told you how she never got to have any of those things, and now you can’t shake the feeling that even though she never directly said it to you, you feel like she’s taking it out on her only daughter, which just isn’t fair.

“Dad!” You turned to heeseung your stepdad, looking for his approval, and he gave you the tiniest hint of a smile while folding his arms and resting against the kitchen counter.

You and your stepdad had a much better relationship than you and your mother, unlike her. He seemed to actually care about you, which is comical cause he wasn’t even your real dad, and he treated you better than your mom ever did.

He’d always vouch for you, defend you when arguments got too heated, and he never made you feel like you were always in the wrong, unlike your mother did.

His care for you did go a lot further than just how a stepdad would care for their stepchild because his hugs would last a couple of seconds too long. His kisses on the cheek were a little too affectionate, and he'd eye you when you wore revealing outfits a bit too much.

You didn't mind, though. You did it on purpose cause you liked the attention. He wasn't your real dad, and besides, you had met him so late in your life that you were already fully grown, and you didn't even see him as a father figure at all.

Dad never even crossed your mind when you thought about him. All you saw was a very attractive man, and you wondered how your strict, bitter mother landed a gem like him.

“You heard your mom.” he swipes the cake as your mom sets it in the fridge and licks the frosting off his fingertip, humming at the sweet taste. “Now go upstairs and get ready for bed, young lady.”

You rolled your eyes and did as he said. You thought he’d vouch for you this time, too, but apparently not.

Little did you know he had other plans up his sleeve. He only said no to you cause he was not about to start a fight with his wife over you taking one measly shot, especially since it was your birthday.

His wife always had a way of making things about her just cause she didn’t get a shot at 21. Why couldn’t you? If he didn’t know any better, he’d say his wife was jealous of her own daughter, and if he’s being honest, it was kinda getting on his nerves the way she’d bitch at you all the time for virtually nothing.

When he married her, she was not like that at all, but once he moved in and you all became family, the whole dynamic changed. She paid more attention to scolding you than him.

He wasn’t needy necessarily, but he did get lonely sometimes, especially in the bedroom, and heeseung noticed that you talked to him more than his own wife.

Which resulted in him developing maybe not a crush but a certain attraction to you, and to his luck, it was mutual between the two of you, considering all the shameless flirting you did back and forth.

At first, he felt a bit guilty, but with the way he was feeling in his marriage, he might as well have been single. He’s not excusing his actions, but he definitely doesn’t care or feel any shame in checking you out from head to toe on a daily basis.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t spill his load in his palm once or twice at the thought of you.

How could he not when you’d purposefully bend over in front of him pretending that you dropped something or the way you’d push your chest against his whenever you’d hug?

You had already gotten ready for bed, sulking a bit as you leaned against the bed frame, scrolling on your phone.

Heeseung had joined his wife upstairs, lying next to her and sharing a quiet goodnight before they turned off the bedside lamps.

It was always like this: completely silent, no conversation, no talking about the day, no intimacy, absolutely nothing.

Even if he did try to talk, she’d always say she was stressed or tired.

Another one of the reasons Heeseung didn’t feel guilty for having feelings toward you was that you gave him the time of day.

He sighs putting his hands behind his head and staring at the celling finally after an hour passed his wife was fast asleep so he silently slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen where the cupboard was located pulling out a bottle of liquor one he bought expressly for you cause you had been going on all week about wanting to take a shot on your 21st.

He snuck over to your room, knocking on it softly, knowing you’d still be up. You were always up late.

You sighed and got out of bed tossing your blanket to the side and ripping open the door ready to be faced with your mom and some more of her shenanigans. “Wha-“ you stopped mid-way through, shocked to see that it was actually your stepdad instead, and you were pleasantly surprised to see he was in nothing but his underwear and a shirt.

“Hey,” he laughs softly, waving a bottle of liquor in your face along with two shot glasses.

“H-hi,” you smile upon seeing the bottle.

“Are you gonna let me in? Or are you gonna wait for your mom to catch us?” He smirks and you open the door further to let him in…

Read full story on my Patreon!

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[johnnysuhbmarine]

Knowing a change of scenery was what your mental health needed, you transferred to where your brother, Mark, goes to college. The good news is, he’s not too cool for his younger sister, so he lets you join his friend group immediately. The bad news is, Haechan is in that friend group, and a brief encounter four years ago was enough for you to understand he does NOT like you. Even worse news, he’s a lot hotter than he was four years ago…

Chapter Fifteen: I'll just ask Mark - four images, 1.5k words - heads up, this chapter deals more with y/n's mental health than previous ones

You were thankful you didn’t have any classes for the rest of the day, because time slipped right by you while at lunch with Haechan. The two of you got sandwiches and coffee from the library café, but when you quickly realized all the tables were taken, you ended up bringing the food back to Haechan’s apartment just a short walk away. This is where time started flying past. The two of you turned on an old cartoon show to watch while you ate, but once you were finished, your own voices quickly overtook the sound of the television.

It was a strange truth to find out - that you and Haechan actually got along swimmingly, taking to each other like a duck to water. Of course, up until the last week or so, the majority of your time knowing each other was spent either ignoring one another or exemplifying passive aggression; so your ability to actually carry a conversation for hours was a very new concept, but one you could hardly take the time to question when you were too busy laughing until you couldn’t breathe.

Haechan was the first to calm down after the last bout of laughter shared in the living room, and he leaned his head against the front of the couch - the two of you opted to sit on the floor as you ate since there was no coffee table to place everything on; not to mention the couch wasn’t that comfortable in the first place.

He rolled his head to the side so he could look at you, your eyes squeezed shut as you bite on your bottom lip to try and stop more laughs from leaving your system. He let a soft grin come across his face as he took in your presence, and the fact that he was happy here with you. “Remind me to thank Mark for convincing you to transfer,” he says gratefully, traces of a laugh still tainting his light voice. Though, all at once, your body stills, and you open your eyes to meet his soft gaze before swiftly bringing your focus to where you had begun messing with your fingers in your lap.

“Oh. It wasn’t really- he didn’t convince me, so to speak. I had to transfer.” You fumble through your words, embarrassment tinging your cheeks a shade of pink.

Haechan furrowed his brows at you. “What do you mean?” He asks curiously, and you can’t help the heavy sigh that escapes you.

You stop fidgeting, but you can’t bring your gaze up from your lap as you respond smoothly. “I was really, badly depressed. Not to mention half the student body at SM used to actually bully me," you recall with a scoff.

“At the end of the day, I just wanted my brother closer than thirty minutes away from me. Helped me feel less alone, or at least helped me not make rash decisions, I mean- I hated myself. Wasn’t sure I was anything but a waste of space, honestly; and the idea of going to my brother to be talked down felt better than going to my friends, cause I always thought they would leave me if all I did was come to them with struggles. My brother can’t leave, he’s stuck with me. Though most of the time, that doesn’t really make it any easier - it’s still putting so much responsibility on Mark, when he’s probably the last person who needs any more added to his plate. Regardless, he does his best - and only partly because he's forced to," you say with a weak laugh before continuing softly.

"In transferring here, my parents made him promise that he wouldn’t allow me to throw myself into oncoming traffic, or maybe it was off a bridge. I don’t know. Something stupid but-”

You cut yourself off when you hear what you think is a sniffle from beside you. You whip your head over to look and get confirmation that he’s actually crying. “Haechan?” You get out worriedly, your brows furrowing as you take in his wide watery eyes and small trembles. You reach out to wipe away at the tears racing down his face, and he just shakes his head against your hold.

“Don’t leave. Don’t you ever dare leave,” he manages to get out somewhat firmly. Your lips form a tight smile at his care and you shake your head, trying to dispel his worries.

“I’m not-” You start, but he cuts you off and you’re sure it’s because he doesn’t quite believe you…not that you could blame him.

He moves from sitting flat on the ground to instead lean over and engulf you in a hug, made awkward by the fact that he was practically just ramming his body into your side. You didn’t care, you wrapped your arms around him the best you could as he gets out choked words. “I need you. Here. I need you here,” he hiccups, and you break.

“Haechan…it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” you say, trying your best not to cry now, too as you begin to rub a hand up and down his back.

You feel a light poke at your side and glance down to see his pinkie outstretched. You look back up to face him in confusion, but his eyes are still directed towards the floor, not to mention squeezed shut. “P-promise,” he gets out weakly. With the tears staining his face, the shaking of his body, and his choked words, you knew you never wanted to see Haechan like this ever again. So, without truly realizing how much this pinky promise was going to mean to him, you lace your finger with his and watch as the smallest wave of relief crashes over him.

He falls more decidedly against you, and you hold him there tightly, running your fingers gently across his clothes and through his hair. You don’t know how long the two of you stayed like that, but you know you didn’t let up from the hug until he was completely rid of tears. Though, when you lift your arms up and allow him to sit back upright, he doesn’t, and a small smile crosses your face as you gently place your arms back around his figure.

You hadn’t seen him look this small ever before, and the fact that he was being this emotional and vulnerable with you was making warmth spread through your entire body. You only hoped it could transfer through the hug you had him in, figuring he probably needed it more right now - for some reason, it couldn't click that he was crying over you, that he was currently concerned about making sure you felt comforted and cared for...though that quickly changes with his next words.

“I’m sorry I was a dick to you earlier,” he finally says with resolve. You move to shake your head and dismiss it, but he presses on. “I treated you poorly for no reason, and I’m sorry. The last thing I ever want to do is remind you of someone from your old school. I’ll do better. I promise all I’ll ever try to do is put a smile on your face, but if it’s ever not genuine, I need you to know that you can come to me, confide in me, whatever. Your heavy feelings aren’t going to scare me away. You don’t need to ever pretend around me, and if I’m the only person who has made that clear, then so be it, I’ll be your rock.”

He finally moves as he says this so that he can make eye contact with you, unfortunate because you had finally started crying at his words. “It’s so hard,” you squeak out. “With my family, I mean - I just want to be a good daughter- a good sister. They don’t deserve all that stress of my mental health. I- I broke my family’s heart telling them how I thought of myself…the point I was reaching. I don’t ever want to worry them like that again.” As you finish, your attention is turned towards where Haechan lightly grabbed your hand in his.

“You broke mine, too, but you need to understand that I’ll let you break it over and over again if it means you aren’t going through this alone.” There’s nothing but sincerity in his tone and it sends even more tears racing down your cheeks. He sighs, bringing a hand up to wipe gently under your eyes. “Y/n,” he says, his voice soft but filled with intent.

You nod your head, knowing what he was looking for - any confirmation that you were actually taking in his words. “Thank you,” you say weakly, causing a corner of Haechan’s mouth to perk up in a soft grin.

His hand that was previously at your cheek moves up to eventually run back down through your hair, tucking a piece behind your ear. “Do you wanna watch The Aristocats?” He asks gently.

Your wide eyes meet his. “You’d watch it with me again?” You respond in awe.

Haechan lets out a small laugh, turning his gaze to the floor before shaking his head and looking in your teary eyes again. “You said it’s your comfort movie…I’d watch it a thousand times.”

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a/n: yuhhhh

Taglist: @fullsunstrawberry @choizzn @raevyng @dudekiss3r @yewshi @artsenthusiastk77 @injunnie-lemon @markeroolee @chan-yeoldelling @sunflowerhae @mystverse @urlovelily @luvandletter @jeonghansshitester @dinonuguaegi @untilthesunrises @clean-soap @andassortedkpop @dlin3 @roseangelxfuma @gomdoleemyson @simmsunshine @swanyvess @awktwurtle @t-102 @kukkurookkoo

@hahaechans @ypoom151999 @goldenclosethobi

[jules-ln]

Ok, so I can't stop thinking about Viktor in Arcane lmao

Not so much because I like him (which I do lmao) but more because his arc seems like convoluted mess of knots at first glance, and I don't understand it completely and I need to put this puzzle together

Also, honestly Arcane it's the perfect case for why "show, don't tell" isn't always good as it left a lot of things incredibly vague, things I think they should've stopped and clarify more

So let me take his character apart from the beginning to understand him

Spoilers btw

First I want to talk about Viktor's disability because apparently it was a big deal

I say apparently because at first I thought it wasn't a big deal for Viktor, it was just part of who he was

Like the first time we see him, he's confident, he seems secure in himself and the show itself doesn't seem to make a big deal out of him using his cane

But turns out that getting rid of his disability it was actually a big deal for Viktor and I want to search for an explanation that isn't that the writers probably had a subconscious bias about disability

Tbh I always thought that it was kind of implied that Viktor's disability was a result of his parents being exposed to dangerous chemicals in Zaun, like it wasn't just his sickness that was a result of being born in Zaun, but also his leg, don't know if it's just me but anyway the author is dead moving on

I'm saying this because it would make sense at least for Viktor to think that way. Because in his mind it's his disability = his sickness = the problems in Zaun. These three things aren't different for him, is one and the same problem that needs to be solved

This is also shown when Viktor is experimenting in himself with the Hexcore and instead of doing something that might help him idk stop coughing blood, the first thing he does is trying to undo his disability. And I've seen some people ask why the hell is Viktor more worried about his disability than the thing that's actually killing him. It's because in Viktor's mind is the same thing

Now, we can actually see hints that Viktor might resent his disability (and Zaun by extension) in the boat scene when he's a child, where even though his genius is great, his disability stops him from reaching the boat, from reaching his full potential (at least in Viktor's mind)

He resents not being able to be who he wants, who he could be if he had been born in Piltover and puts the blame on his disability and Zaun

This actually makes sense with later scenes when Viktor and Jayce show off what they've been working on to Heimmerdinger, the gauntlets and the claw (arm?). If Viktor and Jayce were working on these two things separately, very telling that Viktor's project (the claw) focuses on artisans, who are still "a step above" than the miners Jayce is focusing on. But if they're working together on the projects, we see that Viktor actually doesn't really wants to help Zaun

Because, what are these? Gauntlets and a claw to make people work faster? These are the solutions Viktor (and Jayce) come up when confronted with Zaun's problems, not actually helping them attack the root of the the problem. Like Miners have to spent hours working in dangerous conditions that affect their health? Well, let's give them something so they can work faster. This is merely palliative care, not caring to actually solve the real problem

Which leads me to the next point, Viktor doesn't actually wants to help Zaun to become a better place, he wants to get rid of the Zaun of now and transform it in Piltover 2.0. In his mind this isn't about helping Zaun, but getting rid of the thing that caused his disability and sickness, metaphorically eliminating them both

We can see this in Viktor's commune

Because, Zaun, even when it looks dirty and dark, all in all doesn't look ugly, like any place where poor people live, it's also full of individuality and self expression, art that's fighting to exist. Compare it to Piltover's Art deco and art nouveau inspired architecture that while, yes, everything looks very beautiful, it also looks very same-y

Viktor's commune also looks very same-y and in a way a bit Piltover inspired. Contrast Viktor's commune to the alternative universe we see where things are better in Zaun, it looks brighter and cleaner, but it also didn't lose any of the self expression and individuality that Zaun has. Individuality that is lost in Viktor's perfect world

Because again, it wasn't about Zaun, or about helping people, it was about Viktor taking something, destroying it, and substituting it with something he believes to be perfect. Perfect without any kind of disabilities that might hold Viktor back (which isn't true but that's what Viktor believes)

This sentiment later comes back when he tries his glorious evolution

Now about Jayce

Part of why I didn't understand Viktor's characterization at first was because I wasn't seeing the whole, I was missing a crucial part of the puzzle, and that was Jayce

At first I thought that Viktor was only interested in Jayce because of his idea of Hextech. But no.

The first time Viktor and Jayce meet, Viktor seems only mildly interested in Jayce's idea, but not enough to actually do something to help him, he was there because he had a job to do, he had to make sure that Jayce was arrested, only that

It wasn't until the judgement that Viktor actually takes an interest in Jayce, but not because of his idea

Viktor was attracted by Jayce's willingness to defend what he thought was right even when everyone else went against him. His personality and fierceness was the thing that later made Viktor take another look at Jayce's investigation

Compare it to how Mel first approached Jayce

Mel and Viktor are very similar in that both want to make something perfect (Mel wants a perfect Piltover, Viktor wants a perfect Zaun and later a perfect world), but they have different motivations. Mel wants to make a perfect city so that she later can gift it to her mother and prove that she's worthy of her love and affection, and that she's worthy of being part of her family

So in the judgment, Mel first sees and is interested by Jayce's idea, because it's something that can get her closer to her goal of being back with her family. Later she's interested in the inventor

But with Viktor is the opposite, he first is interested in Jayce as a man, that's what later attracts him to his dream

(Side note It's also worth noting that I think Arcane takes away Jayce's role in LoL of being Viktor's rival and gives it to Mel. More than that, with both Mel and Viktor being mages and Mel's magic being the thing that stops Viktor during the first fight between him and Jayce. I think that if Mel was more powerful, or Viktor was less overpowered [what the fuck arcane's writers, he's literally a freaking God] she could've stopped him)

Now this is important because I truly don't think Viktor's characterization makes sense unless he genuinely likes/loves Jayce without ulterior motives

In the rest of the first season, we see how Viktor slowly self isolates, in part because Jayce is leaving him behind to be with Mel, so that leads to Viktor taking more and more risks in a bit of a self destructive way, and I think this is in part because Jayce isn't with him. He probably also thinks it's his sickness the thing that's making Jayce go away, that's why he's trying to hide it in the beginning but I'm not to sure about that lmao

This later causes Sky's death, and I think her death is very important for Viktor. Not because he actually feels something for her, but because it's something that makes him feel very guilty

Because, if in the first season Viktor's actions were motivated in part because Jayce went away, then why Viktor's first instinct is to go away in the second season?

It's because of the guilt

In Viktor's mind he not only killed Sky, he's now the thing that killed sky. That plus the fact of how Jayce's acted during the bridge, hating on the zaunites. He probably thinks that Jayce doesn't care about him anymore

When he says "it was affection that held us together" he probably didn't mean it in a "I don't care about you anymore" but more in a "you don't care about me anymore, and you probably shouldn't anyway because there's no reason for you to do so"

When he goes away and creates a cult in Zaun, it's because Viktor is trying to redeem himself and make their dream come true. Viktor's commune is his version of their dream, a little bubble of perfection in an imperfect world

Of course that's not what Jayce wanted or meant when he thought about their dream, but that's just how Viktor misinterpreted it

That's why he's so insistent that Jayce go to see him after he's back from the future, because their dream wouldn't be complete unless it was both of them in it

So when Jayce shoot him, Viktor didn't think that maybe what he was doing was wrong, or that maybe he was crossing a line he shouldn't. When Jayce shoot him, he took it as Jayce rejecting not only their dream, but also Viktor himself

So he was hurt, he was angry. And in his hurt, the first thing he did was trying to justify his emotions by logic. The problem wasn't that what Viktor wanted was wrong. The problem was those pesky emotions messed everything up and if he just could get rid of them then their dream would become true and truly perfect (and Jayce wouldn't reject him). So he needed to get rid of emotions it didn't matter if he hurt the entire world (and Jayce) in his path to do so, more than that it was justified in his mind

I see what Viktor did after Jayce shoot him as he basically saying "I was trying to do this in the nice way, but now I'm angry and I'll show you what I'm truly capable of"

Ironically, his speech about what motivates humanity's greatest good is also what makes them do their greatest evil applies to Viktor 100%, his affection for Jayce is the thing that motivates him to help and to hurt everyone else

I also think that Viktor knew he was in part taking away some of the free will of the people in the commune, he probably just thought it wasn't doing them any harm, just taking away their "disability"

Now, in the future, Viktor realized that perfection, getting rid of humanity's mistakes, and getting rid of his disability; wasn't what he truly wanted, the thing that he truly wanted was to not be alone, and to be worthy of love, and Jayce was the only one who didn't make Viktor feel alone. So when Jayce hugged Viktor and showed him what he saw, I actually think it was like Viktor of the future telling his past self "this is not what you want, this is a mistake"

I also don't think Viktor learned to accept his disabilities in the end; because a heartfelt speech about loving yourself isn't going to make you forget a life of prejudice just like that lmao

But I do think that in that moment when Jayce showed him the future, he recognized that what he was doing was a mistake and stopped

In the end he got what he truly wanted, which was not being alone, being loved, and to be with Jayce, even if their dream of making the world a better place didn't become true

I read somewhere that Viktor in the game was inspired by Doctor Doom, and Idk if that's true. But if I had to compare Arcane Viktor to somebody in Marvel, it would be the Scarlet Witch (here I am thinking about fanart of Viktor dressed as the Scarlet Witch lmao), an extremely powerful being that gets carried away by their emotions, and ends up doing horrible things with good intentions

Yeah, I understand him a bit better now lmao

[moonandstarshyuck]

"Always."

lando norris x gn!bf!reader

notes: I haven’t written since 2019, so bear with me. I’ve found myself thinking about a little blurb for Lando recently (actually a lot of ideas, but this one is sticking with me more than the others at the moment).

For some context, Lando’s been receiving a huge amount of hate online (and in-person) recently. I haven’t been a fan for that long—I got into F1 this summer, in 2024—but I’ve grown to care about him. I was there for Lando losing the championship, and while I think we all knew it would come to this (Max winning felt inevitable) but I’m proud of Lando for pushing so hard this entire year.

Still, with all the hate directed at him, I’m seeing a new side of him, and I’m learning that he’s a person with feelings like anyone else. I can tell he doesn’t always have the highest opinion of himself and tends to take the blame for anything that goes wrong during his races. What struck me about this is how much I relate to it. I blame myself for things out of my control or when I mess up. What sucks with Lando is that his small, human errors are what so many people focus on to criticize him—whether it’s why he didn’t win the championship or why they think he’s a bad person (which he absolutely isn’t).

The inspiration for this came from an interview he did after the Brazilian GP. At that point, everyone knew it was almost mathematically impossible for Lando to win the championship, and he talked about struggling in the aftermath: “I literally couldn’t sleep for the first two days…So I did like, what, 36-40 hours straight. So that probably made everything worse. When you’re tired, you’re more moody, and that kind of thing…I was just sat at home alone. It probably would have been better if I had been with my friends. But they don’t live in Monaco. They also have lives and are busy doing other things. And I’m a big overthinker, so like the whole flight home, the whole week, it just played over and over in my head. What could I have done differently? Why did I do that? Why did I not do this? You start thinking of all the scenarios that you kind of blame yourself for, why it’s now not possible, that kind of thing. And yeah, because I overthink and I struggle with that kind of thing, that took a bigger toll in the days after. It wasn’t an easy time.”

And I keep on finding myself wishing someone could have been there for him in person, so that he was okay. So, I wrote this. The reader in this is dating Lando but is written as a gender-neutral character that uses They/Them pronouns. The reader also has a service dog, a Bernese Mountain Dog named Thunder, to help with their own depression and anxiety (I’m not an expert on service dogs, so this many not be 100% accurate).

They woke up that early morning to the sunlight shining on their face, streaming in from the window outside. The bliss of sleep clung to them as they lay there, cocooned in warmth, the covers snug around their body. They stretched lazily, blinking their eyes open.

Instinctively, they turned to look beside them—only to find the space next to them empty. It’s too early in the morning to be anywhere else but in bed, even for training, they thought. Lando should still be here.

The realization pulled them out of their sleepy haze. The past couple of days had been not kind to Lando. They knew that he had a tendency to keep his feelings bottled up and beat himself up over his perceived failures. They understood that feeling all too well—the guilt, the constant sense of disappointment, the nagging thought that were never good enough. They had wrestled with those feelings since they were a child.

It wasn’t something that had an easy fix. If they had found the answer, they would have shared it with Lando years ago. But they had learned that the best way to fight those thoughts wasn’t isolation. Talking to someone, writing feelings down, even simple positive affirmations—thought they might sound silly—could help push back against the negative spiral. They had told Lando this countless times.

But Lando had a problem with not wanting to “inconvenience” anyone with his emotions. No matter how many times they reassured him that they were always there for him, he struggled to let himself. They didn’t blame him—it was human to struggle against your own mind.

What made everything worse was the constant online hate. Every little mistake or sarcastic comment from Lando seemed to turn into an avalanche of criticism. They remembered the first time they’d seen him like a hateful comment about himself on Instagram—the little heart next to a cruel statement, paired with note: “Creator liked this.” It had broken their heart. How could the Lando they loved ever believe such awful things about himself?

After Brazil, it had been clear that he wasn’t okay. He’d barely spoken since coming home, choosing instead to himself. They had given him space, hoping he’d find a way to process his feelings. But by the second morning, when he still hadn’t come to bed—almost forty hours after returning home—they knew they couldn’t stand by any longer.

That morning, they rose slowly from the bed, a plan beginning to form in their mind. Lanod needed someone to step in—someone to remind him he didn’t have to face his struggles alone. They were determined to be that person for him.  They couldn’t take it anymore, seeing the person they loved so badly, punishing himself over his ‘failures.’

The first step was to confirm where he was. Grabbing their phone, they opened Twitch and navigated to Max’s stream. After a few moments of watching, they heard Lando’s voice—tired, strained, but unmistakably his. He was joking with Max, his words clipped, like he was holding himself together with sheer willpower. It was enough to break their heart. They opened their messages with Max.

Thunder's Owner

Lan’s streaming with you rn?

Sent at 7:48 AM.

After a few seconds, Max replied.

Maximilian

Yeah he’s on voice-only.

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Gonna do something about him?

Sent at 7:50 AM.

Max knew. Of course he did. He probably heard the exhaustion in Lando’s voice, the edge self-loathing that came with overthinking. They typed back quickly:

Thunder's Owner

Yeah

Sent 7:52 AM.

Going to unplug his setup and drag him out of there.

Sent 7:52 AM.

Maximilian

Lol.

Sent 7:52 AM.

I’ll keep an eye out for when he disappears.

Sent 7:53 AM.

Thunder's Owner

Thx

Sent 7:54 AM.

They quietly made their way to Lando’s gaming room and eased the door open. Lando sat at his desk, controller in hand, headset clamped over messy curls.  He looked worn down, his shoulders slumped as he focused on the screen. His voice through, muted put playful, as he bantered with Max.

For a moment, they just watched him. Even now, he was handsome, but the tiredness in his expression made their chest ache. He deserved rest. He deserved to feel okay. And he wasn’t going to get that by sitting here punishing himself.

As soon as Lando died in-game and leaned back in his chair, they seized the opportunity. They crossed the room, catching his attention when they came into view.

“Why’re you—” Lando began, frowning, but they didn’t let him finish. Reaching down, they unplugged everything from the wall.

“What the hell—” he exclaimed, spinning around in his chair.

“No,” they said firmly, cutting him off. “I’m not you hurt yourself anymore. Get up.”

Lando blinked, clearly taken aback. “You can’t just do that!” he protested, but they were already tugging gently at him arm, urging him out of his chair.

“Angel, what are you—”

“No,” they repeated, their voice steady. “Get up,”

Lando hesitated for a moment before letting out a resigned sigh and standing. They took his hand, leading him out of the gaming room and down the hall to the living room. He didn’t resist, but he followed like a man in a daze. Once they reached the couch, they turned to him. “Sit,” they said, pointing at the cushions. Lando raised an eyebrow, opening his mouth to argue, but they shook their head. “Stay.”

They turned to Thunder, who had been waiting for them in the hallway, and told him, “Thunder, guard,” while pointing at Lando.

The dog immediately moved into position, standing alert in front of the couch. Lando’s eyes widened slightly as Thunder fixed him with an unblinking stare. He shifted as if to get up, but Thunder’s stance didn’t waver.

“Jeez, I wasn’t going to get up,” he mumbled to Thunder, but Thunder just sat there and watched him until he fully relaxed back into the couch.

The thought ran through Lando’s head, how he had honestly forgotten how menacing his own dog could look. He knew Thunder was trained, saw reminders of it daily with how he interacted with his partner, but he was still shocked at how trained Thunder really was at that moment.

Thunder was still staring at him when he pulled out his phone from his pocket, opening up his texts with Max.

LN

I was just dragged out of my gaming room and told to sit on the couch and like a dog.

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Not against it, but how tf did they get so determined?

Sent at 8:05 AM.

Thunder’s watching me right now.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

I forgot how menacing he could be.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

*Picture attached.*

Lol.

Sent at 8:06 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

He’s like ‘try me, I dare you’

Sent at 8:06 AM.

LN

Yeah, I don’t particularly want to try him

Sent at 8:07 AM.

Max (The 1st One)

Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

They told me before they did it

Sent at 8:07 AM.

I just let them. Lol.

Sent at 8:07 AM.

LN

Helpful. What if they were trying to  kill me?

Sent at 8:08 AM.

They wouldn’t have had to if you kept doing what you were doing.

Sent at 8:09 AM.

Lando’s let out a quiet sigh, Max’s words sinking in. He glanced at Thunder, who hadn’t moved, and felt a pang of guilt. He’d pushed himself too far again, and this time it had clearly worried his partner.

A few minutes later, his partner walked back into their living room. He thought they looked beautiful, wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxers. They were entirely focused on the bowl they were carrying, and only looked up when they got close enough to hand it to him. He gently took the bowl, looked into it and saw it was one of his prep meals. While not his favorite breakfast, he knew he just needed to eat first, so he started taking bites.

He glanced up every so often, and each time he did, his partner was just sitting there and watching him eat. Lando almost chuckled at his own thought that they looked just like Thunder when watching him, and he smiled into his bowl at the thought. His partner didn’t see his smile, but he continued to eat until he had finished the bowl.

When he was done eating, he set the bowl down, and his partner again pulled him up by the crook of his arm. He just let them do so, having a thought of what was going to happen next.

His partner led them both down the hallway to their bedroom, and opened the door, leading him to sit on their bed, then they turned around and went to close their blinds and draw their black-out curtains to cover up the sunlight from the window. They had turned on their bedside lamp earlier, and the soft orange glow of the lamp permeated the room. They walked past him again, going to close the door after letting Thunder in, then they walked back to their side of the bed, and pulled him to lie down against them.

As he settled against their chest, he felt a bit odd, it being a bit of a difference to feel how much he was loved by them. How much they cared for him. And he finally spoke again, “Thank you.”

“Always, Lan. Always.” They replied, pressing a kiss to his hair.

And for the first time in days, he let himself sleep.

author's note: got inspired to actually write something for once...ty @koalapastries for the inspiration (unknowing inspiration but ty) (also sorry for using your layout outline

comments & reblogs appreciated

and i made the dividers :)

[generational-atrophy]

OMG! I WAS LOOKING THROUGH UR BLOG CUZ MY HETALIA PHASE IS BACK AND WAS LIKE "I LOVE THIS WRITER SM WHERE ARE THEY" AND BOOM!

So request, if that's okay, the main 8 with a reader who cries during confrontations and or arguments. An imagine where ofc the main 8 says something hurtful and reader just covers their ears because 1.) Ears do be sensitive and 2.) It causes them to shut down completely

Can we know how they'd handle it plus how it'd go? Ty 💜

hetalia main 8 saying something they regret in an argument

2.8k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: they say hurtful things, and are kind of assholes in general lol

America - Alfred F. Jones

“I’m better than this. Why’d I keep someone as seriously uncool as you around?!”

Even as you immediately begin turning away from him, curling into yourself for comfort, Alfred would be less than sympathetic. If you’d ever doubted how self-centred he could be, this was more than enough evidence to prove it.

“What? What- just- don’t do that! You’re the one who started this!”

It’s unlikely he’d let up even after the tears start. He’s really that callous when he feels hurt. After a few tense minutes of silence broken only by your quiet whimpering, he’d start tearing up too. Not from guilt, seeing how much he hurt you. But instead from how he’s only now realizing he has to put his own feelings aside to take care of yours.

He’d approach you like a rabid animal, a lump stuck in his throat as he tries to say anything to get you talking again.

“Listen, it’s uh- not that serious. I’m sorry, ok? Let’s just… like- do something else?”

His comforting consists mostly of trying to get you out of your own head. Once it’s been long enough that you’re less scared, he’d take your hands away from your ears gently and kiss your cheek. If you’re sensitive to other things, he’d wrap his jacket around your shoulders and turn off the lights until you’re up and talking again.

“See? Not that hard, just like I said. Good job, babe…  let’s just keep going like this, yeah?”

Somewhere, past all of the self-absorption and pride, he does have a heart. And that heart will immediately take you out to get ice cream. It’d take him a while to admit fault (and I mean real responsibility, not just his usual “sorry not sorry, move on,” schtick,) but maybe once your tear stains have dried, he’d realize what an ass he’d been.

England - Arthur Kirkland

“G*d, you’re pissing me off already! Just- fuck- get out of here if you hate us so much!”

Like usual. He’s desperate to just leave as soon as there’s conflict. It may be annoying, but at least he’s only doing it because he knows how awful he is when frustrated. 

If you don’t take up his offer to abandon the conversation, he will. You’d have to be seriously struggling to keep him with you in that moment.

“Trust me, everything will be much, much worse if I stay…”

He’s always acting like that. It’s like his conscience disappears when he speaks, but only returns when he’s already said the hurtful thing. Never taking responsibility, always panicking and leaving just as your tears start to fall.

But, the more you tell him how much that hurts, the more he might be willing to stay.

It’ll take him a while to be able to choke out a cowardly “sorry,” but at least he’ll stop trying to push you away at every occasion.

“Wait- don’t cry so much love, I’m- I… I didn’t mean it. Ok? Is that better?”

It’s impossible for him to keep arguing once you’re truly upset. Instead, he’ll take you by the hand to the kitchen so he can start making tea for the two of you. In that silence, he encourages you to speak whatever awful thoughts you’re repeating to yourself. He’s just trying to get you in a comfortable environment again at that point.

Quiet affirmations are the only things he’ll bring, looking at you sympathetically and still holding your hand tight while you talk about whatever you want to. Whether that be something completely random, insults towards him, or actual constructive discussion is up to you.

At the end of the night, he’ll apologize. Not well, mind you, but enough to dissuade you from whatever hurt you earlier. All that matters to him is that you don’t go to bed upset.

“I’ll do better next time… or- I mean- I’ll do my best to… not be like that… again. Promise.”

France - Francois Bonnefoy

“But is it that impossible for you to put in some effort? It’s just… embarrassing to be with you right now!”

He’s always been a fighter for sport. When he argues with you, it’s not to prove a point. It’s probably not about anything he actually cares about either. He honestly just does it for fun. To him, arguing is how you really get to know someone.

So when you take his words to heart and, in the worst case, start crying, he just really doesn’t know what to do.

“Merde, darling, you know I wasn’t being serious! Come on now, don’t take it so personally…”

He may grumble about how he didn’t want you to get so upset, but at least he’ll still calm down and quit pushing you. Whatever tension there was before will dissipate as soon as he sighs, making his way over to you and wrapping you in his embrace. Unless that makes you even more uncomfortable, in which case he’ll just grab your favourite blanket and gently drape it over your shoulders.

“I am so sorry I made you so upset, I really didn’t mean it. You’re wonderful to me, always so stunning!”

For as long as you need him to, he’ll apologize over and over again, playing with your hair and wiping away your tears as delicately as he can manage. He may be just as upset as you are when he realizes what he did, but he’s shockingly good at compartmentalizing that when you need support.

But, if you focus too much on how he hurt you, he might start crying too. He can’t help it. Ignore him.

Either way, he’s there to hold you and validate you in whatever you might be feeling at that moment. Be as irrational as you need to be,  he understands the urge well. And either way, he’ll just nod along to anything you say and insist it’s everyone else's fault. Including his, unlike basically every other man.

“How can you expect to survive when you hold all of this in? Please, always come to me even with small things, we share everything as lovers, yes? I cannot bear to see you as upset as this…”

China - Yao Wang

“Can’t you act your age? How do you expect anyone to put up with you like this?!”

As soon he says it, he knows that was an awful thing to say. He doesn’t need you to tell him, he can tell just by your expression that it was too far. You didn’t deserve that, he told himself.

But that doesn’t mean his ego is gonna let him give in so easily. Even if he was an ass, he still can’t let himself give up “authority” in a fight.

“Agh- that’s not… its not what I mean to say, alright?! So just… pretend I did not….”

If you quit fighting, instead becoming more upset, he’ll really struggle to calm down instead. Like, yes, he knows he should be trying to make you feel better, but that’s- he just doesn’t want to! He entered this fight with a purpose, and just because you’re crying doesn’t make that purpose any less important!

“Why won’t you argue back?! Aiyah, I knew you were childish but-”

Then he cuts himself off. Does he want to be the bigger person and apologize? No. But will he do it if you stop crying? Yes.

He’ll rest a hand on your arm and suggest in the gentlest voice possible that the two of you should go for a walk. Maybe the fresh air will help both of you clear your heads. He doesn’t know what must’ve happened to him to make him say all of those things either.

“I don’t think those thoughts, tiánxīn. I’m sorry I said it, I was upset but… I still should have known better.”

For as quickly as he’s willing to take responsibility, he’s not as much good at the “getting you out of breakdown” stage. Hopefully, you’ve already communicated with him about that so he knows to stop being so loud and trying to touch you. He’ll do whatever you request of him, but what’s best for you in that moment is probably not his first instinct.

“I’m sorry I was being such a huge ass. I love you, I promise.”

Russia - Ivan Braginsky

“You think you are special? I can beat sense into you just like I can them!”

Good luck getting him to understand that you can’t just threaten people within the next few hours. It will not work. When he’s angry, he really doesn’t care about feelings. Just about getting you to cooperate with whatever he says.

He may usually think of both of you as equals, but when you start seriously challenging his authority while he’s in a bad mood, it’s impossible for him to not be cruel. It’s always just better to leave than let him spiral and hurt both of you in the process

Although, he (obviously) would never actually put his hands on you. He just acts like a big baby and’ll stomp his feet and tell you whatever will get the most reaction out of you.

“Любимый, won’t you come out? I’m very sorry, I promise… can’t we just talk?”

But if you do remove yourself from the situation, he would never chase after you and force you to keep being in that awful environment. He knows better than that at least.

The moment you turn away and refuse to engage with his childishness, he’s already planning how to get you to forgive him. For as callous as it seems, your disapproval hurts him more than anything else. He would come to you on his knees, snivelling and pleading,  if that was what he had to do just for you to look at him again

The moment you let him in though, he just rushes over and captures you in his arms. He would dry your tears as gently as he could, treating you like you were made of glass.

“Куколка, куколка, you know I never mean any of that, right? I’m sorry, sorry, please- please, forgive me? If I kiss it better, will you forgive me, любимый?”

He’s so pathetic. Ask anything of him in this state and he’ll do it without hesitation. Unless it’s staying away physically. He’ll be quiet and let you ignore him but don’t try to push him away or he’ll get whiney. If you stress that it isn’t personal enough, maybe he’ll let it go though.

North Italy - Feliciano Vargas

“Why aren’t I good enough? You always abandon me, like-  like I’m nothing! Why do you hate me!?”

The moment either of you pick a fight, he’s already sobbing. Sure, he can argue with his brother for hours, but you matter to him in a much more vulnerable way. If you’re at all upset with him, he instantly feels like you don’t like him any more.

But when he feels attacked, he attacks just as much. In his subconscious, it’s always easier to push you away than have you abandon him yourself. That doesn’t result in very productive conversations, though.

“You’re just pretending you love me! You’re a liar, I- I know it!”

When you start crying along with him from all the awful things he’s said, two things can happen.

One, he cries harder, interpreting your hurt feelings as being an admittance to what he accused you of. Why would you be crying if it wasn’t from guilt, and why’d he say that when he so dreaded it being true?!

Or two, you’ll tell him about how truly terrible it feels to have him think those things about you, and he’ll snap out of it. His overwhelming emotions make him incredibly selfish at the moment, so he truly hadn’t considered how you felt from all of that.

Then he immediately lowers his voice, giving you plenty of space until you feel up to talking again. 

“Oh… I’m sorry! I didn’t- you wouldn’t do that! I know that, you know that, so just- I’m sorry! Please, forgive me, amore mio dolce!”

He pulls you into a hug immediately, keeping the two of you as close as physically possible as he whispers promise after promise of his love. Until your tears dry, he won’t stop strangling you with unabashed affection, doing anything he can just to get you smiling again.

The feeling of guilt is not something he’s used to. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that he’ll start crying again too.

“If I ever make you feel bad again, please shut me up, please! I can’t take the thought of you so hurt by my words!”

Germany - Ludwig Beilschmidt

“My word should be more than enough for you to shut up already!”

It’s exceedingly rare that he ever loses his temper around you like that. Normally, you’re the one thing that can always calm him down. Just looking at your face makes his chest fill with butterflies, drowning out whatever dark thoughts he’s having.

So, needless to say, he immediately regrets snapping at you. Immediately.

“Wait, no- no, I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t mean to. It’s not true, just- just stupid, I’m sorry, liebling…”

Whatever you two were arguing about is instantly forgotten as he rushes over to you and takes your face in his hands. It just breaks his heart to see you hurt, much more at his own actions. You don’t have to worry about him taking responsibility, he would never try to dodge the guilt of making you cry.

It’s not the first time he’s lost control, and he knows it’s his fault. But maybe if he takes you in his arms gently enough, rocking you back and forth as you cry into his shoulder, it’ll make it a little easier for you.

But if you just need a silent moment to yourself, that’s perfectly fine too. He’s autistic, so he certainly understands the feeling and will happily provide you with whatever comforting items you request.

“I’m sorry… you didn’t deserve what I said. I love you, please tell me you know that…”

Even if you pretend you weren’t that upset by it, Ludwig wouldn’t let it go like that. If he gets to his breaking point like that, whatever fight you were having is put aside for the night. Now all that matters to him is that the two of you make up and get back into how things were before as soon as possible.

Expect him to be beating himself up for a while though. He just wants you to know how sorry he is, how much he regrets snapping at you, even if it does seem a bit excessive. But he’s just had too many people he cared about leave to not make a whole thing out of it.

Japan - Kiku Honda

“Don’t you have any sense of personal space? You are like- choking me with all of… you! I can’t stand it!”

He’s a logical man. That’s one thing he always tells himself. Never, not even when he’s emotional, does he say things he doesn’t mean. Was the way he said it less than perfect? Yes, of course, he can’t believe he had just acted so impolitely, especially to someone who he cares so much for. But he still… meant what he said.

But, for the first time, as he watches your face break slowly, he’s not so sure of himself. Whether he meant it or not seems suddenly so inconsequential compared to the thought of hurting you. He… upset you? That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Ah- why are you crying? What is wrong? You… you- it will be… alright, you know? You are ok!”

Wait- no, don’t cry more from that! He has absolutely no idea how to comfort you, but if he really has to, he’ll do his best. Although it’s a little difficult for him to resist drawing your hands away from your ears, he’ll do his best to just let you have your process (no matter what that means for you.)

Before you can even hear him coming closer, you’re suddenly drawn into an intimate hug. His hand drawing your head underneath his and kissing the crown of your head so lovingly, it's almost like another person possessed him as he turns so soft just at the sight of your tears

Would his pride usually reject this? Yes, but, it’s certainly not the first time he’s had to put that aside for you.

He’ll sputter generic apologies, purposefully hiding his grimace as he forces himself to forget about whatever you two were arguing about before. Well, at least for now. Most likely he’ll bring it up not long after, but in a much more… non-confrontational way.

“Let us go do something else instead, hm? You’ll only get more upset like this, and I want that as little as you want it.”

On one hand, he’s a little annoyed he had to put aside his own gripes to calm you down. But on the other hand, he hates conflict. Anything that gets you guys back to normal is worth it, especially if otherwise you’ll be crying in his arms. That’s his absolute nightmare.

[nuria-schnee]

Hi everyone! ❤️ It's been a week™ after those spoilers. I'm going to ramble a bit about that under the cut in relation to this chapter. It'll be mostly writer problems, but well. Anyway, for now, in this sneak peek, Edwin and Thomas meet again unexpectedly.

Edwin made his way through the crowd, vibrating with the receding sensation of Charles’ hands on his face, his forehead against his. The music sounded muffled to his ears, and the creatures crowding every space of the place made him feel trapped, increasing his need to escape. In the end, Edwin found his way to the terrace, which was miraculously empty, aside from a few creatures lounging on the sofas over a secluded corner. The music was softer there, and Edwin couldn’t really feel the chill air of the night, but he breathed out as if he could, relaxing somewhat. He approached the railing made of glass panes, his eyes catching briefly on the red and pink orbs spelt to hover all over the terrace, creating a strangely comforting atmosphere. Edwin noticed someone else reclined on the railing, far away from the door to the terrace and the sofas. It shouldn’t have been possible, but Edwin immediately recognized that blond hair slicked back, the line of his shoulders. Approaching slowly, something churning in his stomach, Edwin felt curiously comforted to see him. “Thomas?” Edwin muttered. Thomas turned around immediately, eyes widening slightly, but quickly shifted into a smile. “Oh, this is a surprise,” Thomas purred, fully turning towards him. “What are you doing here, darling? On a case, I’m sure.” Edwin sighed, closing the last bit of distance and standing beside him, holding onto the railing. Thomas's smile only widened. “Actually, I am not here for work,” Edwin explained, averting his eyes and fixing them on the street below. “We have come the four of us for— A leisure night.” “Well, you don’t look much entertained,” Thomas drawled, and Edwin could feel his eyes tracing his profile, making a soft tingling crawl under his skin. “I just needed a bit of calm,” his words sounded weak to even himself, the truth trapped right there, under his tongue. “I thought you would be in Port Townsend already.” “Said I would drop by to say goodbye, didn’t I?” Thomas said, and Edwin turned his head, regretting it immediately and finding how close they were standing suddenly. The intensity of their gazes became almost unbearable. Warmth bloomed underneath his skin, and the brief space felt like electricity.

“Why are you here?” Edwin forced his gaze away, that feeling of breathlessness coming back to him unexpectedly. “Well, I heard about the place and had to check if it was any good,” Thomas shrugged softly, looking away, too. “Been to better clubs, but it’s distracting enough.” “That is what you were searching for? A distraction?” Edwin turned to him intentively, frowning slightly. Thomas faced him, peeking at him with enclosed interest. “Just trying to get my mind off some things. And here you are, anyway.” Edwin almost rolled his eyes, but even so, something had to show up in his face anyway since it made Thomas chuckle softly. Silence stretched between them for a few seconds. Edwin took the chance to breathe and attempt to ease his thoughts. Not succeeding much, if he were to be honest. “You have that look in your eyes again,” Thomas eventually broke the silence, his voice soft, calm. “What look?” “Like you’re drowning.” Something cracked in his chest. His heart, probably. It came back with renewed force, the sensation of his spiralling thoughts back on the dance floor as Charles smiled at him brightly, pulled him so close, touching him so tenderly— How close it was, and how far at the same time, to what he desired. The certainty that it’d never go further than that had slapped him harder than ever before. “Trouble in paradise, maybe?” Thomas asked. “No,” Edwin sighed, resisting the need to look away. “I suspect— You were right. I am making things harder for myself, for the most part.” “Well, your bodyguard is not precisely making it easier,” Thomas scoffed. Edwin frowned at him, parting his lips as to retort. However, he couldn’t. What was going on wasn’t really Thomas’ business; even so, Edwin couldn’t deny it either, not entirely. Instead, he tried to steer the conversation away from that topic. “The masquerade was almost three weeks ago. What could possibly keep you so long here?” Edwin asked, though already knowing the answer deep down. “Ouch. So eager to get rid of me,” Thomas said dramatically, but without a bite. “I did not mean it that way.” Thomas only kept looking at him, his smile turning softer and weaker in a way that made Edwin feel warm all over. His eyes dropped to his mouth not very subtly, but he forced himself to lock his gaze with Edwin’s sparkling golden under the colourful lights. In turn, Edwin found himself down just the same. “That,” Thomas whispered, the huskiness in his voice making Edwin shiver. “Exactly, that is keeping me here.” “What do you mean?” Edwin's voice came out choked, his mind whirling. The lingering despair of that dance was still there, crashing with the strange relief of Thomas’ eyes on his. “Hope,” Thomas answered simply. “I might get a miracle, after all.”

LINKS

Index | Read Chapter 1 | Trailer | Teaser |

Okay, here goes a bit of rambling.

I have to admit, right now, I am feeling a bit anxious about this chapter. I mostly keep away from any discourse because I just want to chill, enjoy being in the fandom, and share my writing/scream about other people's art. However, it's been a coincidence I'm writing this chapter the week those spoilers have been going around. I'm trying not to worry too much about the discourse going on, but I can't help it, in a way. This fic is very important to me, and I'm putting a lot of hours into it. I can't help but worry if I'm doing it right or not, sometimes. And I'm fine with it not being to everyone's liking; that's completely natural.

I'm mostly concerned about not having explained/hinted some things right. I've had this chapter plotted since September when I started writing this story. If you have been reading it, you know how the interactions between Edwin and Thomas have been portrayed. And I was already hesitating if this made any sense at all or not, but I tried to write it as best as I could since I decided to take a certain route for this fic (that's all I can say without spoiling the chapter). I know I might be overthinking this too much, and, in the end, I'm having a lot of fun writing/sharing this; also, there are a lot of us working on our versions of Season 2, and I think it's amazing and enriching for the fandom to have different versions to enjoy. So I can only expect all of you who are reading it to keep enjoying the story.

I was very unsure about even talking about this, but I also believe that it's okay to express the ways in which you struggle sometimes. We all here are persons behind these screens, and I think sometimes we forget that. Anyway, I don't want this to get excessively long, so I hope you are taking care of yourselves. Thank you all over again for your support, comments, and reblogs.❤️ It's giving me life, I swear.

[artisticxlly]

Some (actually a lot) of my thoughts on Kagehina; the theme of soulmates

Disclaimer: I am still somewhat new to posting in this fandom. Someone might've posted these same exact takes already (I'm not well-versed in Kagehina analyses). This is just my pure brainrot (also unfiltered, so this doesn't have a ton of structure, just a collection of thoughts)!

As I'm getting more into this ship, there are a lot of things that make me emotional about them.

A thing some people point out when it comes to these two is that Kageyama's backstory is shown extremely late in the manga as a 'protagonist' (or at the least a very essential character). You can argue whether or not it's done well, but for me this is perfect to demonstrate a full-circle moment, as not only did Kageyama find this person that Kazuyo promised would find him, you as the reader only get to realise that now as well.

And adding onto that, in my opinion it also contrasts nicely with Hinata, as his backstory is shown from day one, it is one of the first things explored in the manga. It starts and ends with them, so to say.

About their backstories: As someone who is very much invested in Kageyama's whole arc of 'king of the court', here is a speculation of how he actually got to that point.

Maybe this is a bit obvious, but losing someone like Kazuyo is devastating. And at the time, Kageyama would struggle with making new friends. He always stands out in those flashback panels as someone who carries a passion for volleyball like no one else (at least for his childhood) e.g., he gets made fun of for not owning any video games.

At its core, that intense interest in volleyball is what connected him and his grandfather so deeply.

It makes sense for Kageyama to desperately dig his nails into that remainder of Kazuyo, to train more and more, chasing that feeling of connection to someone he was actively grieving.

And another point would be this famous panel:

"If you get really good". And Kageyama takes his word for it, because really, his grandfather would be one of the people he trusts more than anything. And he practices until exhaustion, until he can't, because he wants to have a relationship (no matter the nature) like that again, wants a deep connection that he gains through his passion for the sport. He wants someome to find him.

I think Kageyama would reach a point where the amount of time he invests into training would be both physically and mentally unhealthy.

And perhaps, that's what also leads to him having no compassion for the people who don't share the same fire as him on the court (which is honestly a bit of a common theme for Haikyuu and its characters). He'd probably doubt a person who is like what Kazuyo described exists.

And then Kageyama and Hinata meet for the first time one the court.

The first time you read the chapter, without knowing Kageyama's backstory, it's moreso framed that he is insensitive, a bit of a jerk too. You could even go as far as to interpret the line as "what have you been doing until now?!" as Kageyama thinking that Hinata should've just practised harder, especially when he later goes on to say that Hinata should get "better" if he truly wants to stay on the court for as long as possible.

When you reread the chapter after going through the whole manga though, these lines make a lot more sense, and - depending on your perspective - are a peek into just how taken Kageyama is when faced with someone who has an equal drive as him on the court.

"what have you been doing until now?!" turns into "why havent I met you sooner?" and "get better" turns into "get better (than me), so we can find each other again" (As Kazuyo promised Kageyama).

And actually, Kazuyo's promise doesn't become fully realised until they're both on the court again, now in different teams.

That's why the flashback to that line is used then, not when Hinata and Kageyama first bond together in Karasuno. Not when they make it to nationals. No, when they're in different teams, after you see Hinata go through a whole lot of development away from Kageyama, then the promise is finally fullfilled. You could argue back and forth which one of them ended up being "someone better" but the point is that they found each other again because of it. Doesn't even really matter that they're on different sides of the court.

That's their arc, at least if you focus on Kageyama's backstory.

In general though, they are characters that continue to parallel each other, over and over. The amount of which is honestly almost absurd.

One of the biggest ones is just how much time they invest into practicing. The manga makes it a point with both of them that the people around them don't have the same energy as them and get tired out while those two continue (like maniacs /hj).

I mean, they even like the gym for the same reason, they're fond of the smell (which makes me mushy I won't lie, these goddamn weirdos /aff).

Another one is that they both want to play as long as possible. During the first chapter of the manga, this whole theme drags through the whole chapter, as they both talk about competing to get to stay on the court longer than anyone else.

A last one, that I just find funny, is that their numbers are ALWAYS one apart and sometimes even the same as in previous teams, EXCEPT for their third year in high school.

Junior high 3rd year: 2 and 1

High school 1st year: 9 and 10

High school 3rd year: 2 and 5

Adlers/Msby: 20 and 21

National team (2021): 9 and 10

Ali Roma/Asas São Paulo: 20 and 21

Like it's not funny, how much these two share even before knowing each other. And yet, despite all the similarities, they don't immediately get along in the way you'd think. There is this weird tension where they meet, they immediately get into an argument, too. But there is nuance to it. Izumi points it out actually, that Kageyama took Hinata seriously. The rest of the people there didn't think much of Hinata and his team, and yet Kageyama seemed to have this 'innate' sense that Hinata wasn't someone you should underestimate.

And they fight again, when trying to get into Karasuno, when they're in Karasuno, etc. etc. But it's never them genuinely disliking each other, it's just bickering at most. And as you read along you grow very fond of that aspect of them.

Maybe it is an overused word, but I don't think you could make it any clearer that those two are written to be soulmates.

Anyways, those are my thoughts! I'm obviously not normal about them, but I hope someone else can agree with these takes ^^

[enpr-ss]

MOUNT GEM IS SO TRUE LOL. I eagerly await the return of GeminiSlay. SHE GOT A CAMEL!!!!! An unholy screech left my mouth!!! I thought we were done reliving past series with last episode. Wait why would Tango remember Murder Camel? Did he get murdered by them? Wow actually EVERYONE remembers the Murder Camel.

That cow spawner coming in CLUTCH.

Etho: “Oh yeah? You’re gonna be tough now, finally?” OH MY GOD ETHO!!!! UNCALLED FOR.

Are Etho and Grian flirting or just trying to out pathetic each other??

Of course the warden spawns in right in front of the Decked Out 2 Court.

Who thought it was a good idea to go to a trial chamber during an increasingly hostile mob swap wild card. Why. Of course Scar dies to a vex after the evoker is taken care of.

I guess yellows are basically reds now since there aren’t any???? WAIT WHEN DID MARTYN KILL SKIZZ???? WHY???

How are these Minecraft professionals dying to mobs. This is EASIER than the snails and the food swap wild card. They have so much gear from TriviaBot by now. How.

Scar: "Etho, do you want a TNT mine cart?" Etho, jumping in excitement, shaking with glee, tail wagging and dancing from paw to paw: "yes yes!"

They’ve just given up on Skizz. He’s that loser son meme.

If Etho survives Grian, I really hope that he builds him a grave next to Skizz and Mumbo’s and gives another terrible speech just to complete the set.

Of course Etho goes and plays with the omnidirectional TNT tower launcher. Going back to his roots. That tower is going to cause more deaths I bet. HE LITERALLY TRIES TO ASSASSINATE GRIAN TWCE IT WAS SO SMOOTH.

The way Bdubs IMMEDIATELY ruins his unsolicited compliment from Etho by calling himself a Tuff Boy.

The lost opportunity from Bdubs and Etho to get a better horse from the wild card.

Gem’s so traumatized from Secret Life LOL. Being sacrificed to isn’t just glory and fun either. She and Joel are truly on a whole ‘nother genre. She’s just wistfully sighing at all the craziness that she’s not allowed to do as a green.

Joel about to pull a Ren and drop a life just to take revenge on Pearl (hypothetically.) He and Gem are so insane in their own ways.

She literally gave Impulse the saddle for the camel that he and Pearl come riding in later on to make her jealous… that backfired on them so hard LOL. And she’s the first one to think and get wolf armor instead of Pearl.

Who would have thought Gem would be more insane than Pearl in a Life Series, especially when she’s green and Pearl’s red/yellow? Pearl really rolled up on a murder camel with her new bae trying to make Gem jealous and Gem’s just playing hard to get and KILLING AT IT!!!! Gem expertly turns every verbal trap Pearl sets up back onto her and when Pearl tries to have the final word about going back to Impulse “who actually treats me right” Gem goads her back with the taunting “You scared?” bomb. And so Gem gets the final word in “You’re still not honorable.” (Incredibly biased / unreliable narrator of her) and saunters away, cutting Pearl off at her plaintive “Gem?” Absolutely fantastic how much more toxic and seemingly reasonable but actually unfair Gem is being. Everything has to go Gem’s way; if it’s not, she tries to reconstruct the situation to have it on her terms. And if she can’t, if Pearl points out the illogic, she just changes subject or moves the goalpost so that she’s in the right. Yanking on Pearl’s chain and playing hot and cold. MARVELOUS EDITING AND RPING. IM IN AWE.

Classic Shiny Duo Pearl: "-because Impulse actually treats me right." Gem, in the most provoking tone: "What? You don’t want to 1v1 me? You scared?" I went OOOOOOOOOH SNAP at that. And to call PEARL dishonorable is SUCH a slap in the face of what her Life Series character is all about. Absolutely stellar yandere behavior. Gem’s bringing up past seasons and Hermitcraft; she’s really playing into her Watcher / Void lore. I thought this was it, I didn’t realize there would be MORE INSANE INTERACTIONS. I AM IN A FEVER DREAM. I AM GLUED TO MY SCREEN.

Impulse: "...that was all I had." Joel: "He tried to creeper egg you, I saw it." Gem: "Wimp."

The Skizz shade that’s proven right within the session.

Literally speaks Pearl and Impulse’s shenanigans into existence. Her narrative sense is impeccable. BACK ON THE 2V1 BS AGAIN LOOOOOOOL. An excellent play by Gem, basically driving a wedge between Pearl and Impulse and isolating her from the player she’s trying to get to win Wild Life. Even spreading the “you don’t need Impulse you’re capable by yourself” message to Pearl’s allies. SHE TOOK 0 DAMAGE AHAHAHAH. Creeper eggs and webs??? Soooooo last episode. Reminding BigB of his propaganda agreement and PEARL IS THE FIRST ONE HE TELLS IT TO RIGHT THEN AND THERE. AMAZING COINCIDENCE. Pearl’s indignant yelp in the background! Truly the universe is just going Gem’s way.

I'm going to pass away from all this. ANT IN YOUR PANTS NAMED PEARL?!?!? GEM!!!! Gem: “You’re going to blow yourself up…” Double life flashbacks…..

Flaunting her encouragement of Skizz to kill her right in front of Pearl who’s trying to flaunt Murder Camel AGAIN with Tango. “Pearl is… thirsty!” WHY YOU GOTTA SAY IT LIKE THAT??? Making Pearl confirm that the kill was Skizz… devious. Truly she makes sure the world goes according to plan. Gem is the only person who’s happy to die FINALLY.

Ren: Are there any traps? Because I just watched two people die to traps. *narrowly avoids being blown up by Etho and Gem* THE COMEDIC IRONIC TIMING. THIS SERIES KEEPS ON DELIVERING.

Everyone’s panicking about the mob swap and Gem’s just crafting for her barn.

Gem: "[Grian]’s already having a bad day; just make it worse." LOL AND GRIAN IMMEDIATELY JOINS THE FAMILY AND REFUSES TO TAKE ANY BLAME FOR THE DEATH TOWER HAHAHAAH. The trial chamber banger music as he shows them the death tower is pure dissonant vibes but it weirdly does fit with Gem’s genre this series.

Universe goes perfectly for Gem in the same way that it hinders Pearl at every step. Billy got turned into a donkey; there goes all their cows, she can’t set up a dog army as easily as before.

The way she immediately abandons Impulse to chase after Gem. And this is really evident in Pearl’s POV but she’s always talking to Gem’s back; Gem doesn’t give her the decency for a face to face conversation. PEARL CUT OUT THE “WHAT YOU SCARED?” LINE LOOOOOL. And then the wild card kills the therapy camel and Gem just walks away HAHAHA. Pretty sure those creepers did more damage to her and Impulse than to Gem. Pearl’s trying so hard to kill Gem but she’s praising and admiring how smart and great and beautiful she is all the time, even in other POVs. To Gem’s face even. Simply can’t help herself. Completely unnecessary, might I add. Gem’s literally giving her the same advice she gives to all the incompetent assassins HAHA.

She’s goes "puppy!!! :D" And it instantly DIES IN FRONT OF HER HAHAHA.

Basically flaunting her new murder buddy Tango; the one who killed Joel multiple times LOL. While Gem deliberately encourages Skizz right in front of them. The way that Tango and Pearl both groan in disgust at that. And surprisingly I think Tango’s windcharge was the best attempt so far. Back to the 2v1 thing HAHA. And Pearl has to hear Skizz’s success right as it happens.

She got the totem!!!! Truly the Queen of Decked Out 2.

She’s so sad about the murder camel AHHAH. And of course the raid fails because the universe just likes to see Pearl suffer.

Omg she gave the totem to Impulse. PEARL!!!!

Pearl and Impulse embarked on a trapping adventure and immediately u-turned bravely when the mob swap happened LOL.

Pearl still on her pathetic wet puppy arc. Cannot get a single trap to work; it injures her and her allies instead.

Etho, Grian, and Pearl being the “cheaters” of this season was NOT what I expected.

Joel: "-kinda cruel but also hilarious." If that isn’t the theme of this series then I don’t know what is

Of course Grian puts the name Big and Bloop; he's still haunted by Mumbo. Scar really hanging around Grian a lot this episode

The sheer disbelief at Etho naming the warden and Etho playing this wildcard right. Grian leaves Skizz alone for one second and he's attacking wardens and dying to BigB’s creeper web and walking in the sky on a one-block bridge.

Bloop is the PERFECT name for an iron golem in remembrance of Mumbo.

OF COURSE THERE WAS GOING TO BE AN EVOKER AND VEXES WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE TRIAL CHAMBER!!?!?

Why did Jimmy fall for the bait. It didn’t take long did it.

0 grief for Skizz and instantly moving on to the nearest friendly. During the cheery jingley music as well. Literally said Skizz Issue!!!

Oh the illusioner! That’s a rare one. Yep, called the stuck in the ender pearl stasis chamber issue last episode.

The way Jimmy nearly swore at BigB. And how Scar casually offers to go red to match his teammates. Even did Grian’s "uh-oh! spaghettio!" phrase.

Jimmy just got two-shotted by Bloop that was on his leash. His outrage at Skizz’s carelessness is matched by everyone else on the server.

Lizzie’s “Do you hear what I hear?” sounds like a professional voice acting line in a horror genre omg.

The group delight in Skizz's final death!

Bdubs: "You don’t even have a bow…. Alright then go play Minecraft." He has the same tone of voice, matter-of-factly stating how Tango broke the rules by windcharging Skizz, as when he did to Scar in Limited Life when he TNT minecarted AFK Grian and Cleo.

Tango must still be riding the redemption of the previous episode because he’s noticing things before anyone else; figured out the mechanic and how to stay safe from early on; experienced the butt scooting murder buddy camel; didn’t get caught in any of the 5 traps (especially Lizzie’s), and spectacularly won his beef with Skizz. He was basically involved with all the major things and had a front row seat of the funny events this episode (Skizz and Martyn). All because today is his turn to be leader. Tango Villain Arc was what he needed all along.

Of course Tango fell into the obvious hole in the bridge.

Of course it was Tango windcharging Skizz off. Absolutely no one was surprised. Foretold and lampshaded. Not even a dramatic foreshadowing - it’s just a simple logical conclusion. Twice now Tango windcharged that same location and Grian’s teammate died. Twice now that Tango killed Skizz against the rules by making him fall to his death when he shouldn’t be so high in the first place. Twice now that Skizz died from someone windcharging him AT THE EXACT SAME LOCATION. Truly how many times must we teach you this lesson old man.

Martyn's windcharge on Skizz with 100% hilarity and 0 regrets LOL. HE JUST WALKED INTO LIZZIE TRAP FULLY AWARE AND EXPLODED TO BITS. ETHO SAID THE “I WISH HE WAS BETTER AT THE GAME” AT THE FUNERAL LOL

THE TIMING OF MARTYN FALLING FOR LIZZIE’S TRAP!!

BIGB GOING FULL REVENGE ON SKIZZ WITH THE SAME TRICK AT THE SAME PLACE LOOOOL. AND THEN HE DIES TO WILDCARD BECAUSE HIS ARMOR IS OFF TOO LOOOOOL. THE KARMA. He was SO RIGHT to be cautious during the mob swap - the moment he relaxes a vindicator spawns in and just executes him immediately. Incredible irony.

Even Skizz knew it was a bad idea bad he kept on doing it. His bad luck really does rub off on everyone else. Wait Martyn got Skizz to red with a windcharge? And Skizz didn’t learn his lesson??? Bruh. And of course he attacked the warden and immediately regretted it.

Impulse a professional 3rd wheeler this season: Pearl and Gem, 3G.

The poor inventory management is going get someone killed I reckon. Wait is the random ender crystal replacing a mob actually a thing or was it just BigB?

[the-exiled-comic]

I get what you mean, as a (different) ClanGen comic blog creator myself x.x It’s definitely gotten harder to manage the sort of public responses and interactions when it comes to those kinds of asks. People being rude or parasocial, or outright asking you to tell you the entire future plot over and over again, or jumping to crazy conclusions and not listening, or otherwise not treating you like you’re a living human being with a life behind the screen. The amount of asks I’ve had to delete or ignore (or even fans I’ve had to block) because of how bad the ask culture/“content consuming culture”/fan interaction has gotten, it’s exhausting. Very very exhausting. I’m surprised you haven’t turned off asks completely, I’ve had to do that multiple times now just to give myself mental health breaks from it all. I love drawing and I love creating so I don’t think I could ever stop creating comics, but my god sometimes I really wish I could upload my things to a vacuum where I could just create without ever seeing any of the fan responses to it haha

yeah its rough out here. theres a lot of very positive comments and thoughts directed at comics too, so its certainly not all bad. might be bold to say, but the world is a better place with our stories and i dont think we should ever feel forced to stop sharing them but there is a ratio of negativity thats much higher than we would all like, and i just wanna encourage people who may feel negatively to keep it to themselves unless the author outright asks for critique. and to just re-read or drop the comic if it is so confusing or frustrating

i actually did have the ask box closed for a while, i dont remember how long. it was after firespots betrayal, there was a lot of really upset people and at some point there were over 100 unanswered asks from weeks of build up that i just purged and closed it for a while. i dont mean to threaten to take away things bc i know i enjoy reading insight from creators i like. but sometimes i dont want to deal with it and sadly it IS because people are mean or they talk about my characters in ways that make me feel like im a bad writer or that they hate what i made

[biblical-chronicles]

Don't be a stranger pt. 2

_________________________________________________________

You lot wanted it, so here it is. I probably would have done it anyway since it's been rattling around me little head, this one x

the reader comes back for seconds and gets her sweet little revenge for the mark that Liam left on her neck last time.

part one here for anyone who has just joined the party.

_________________________________________________________

You hadn’t necessarily planned on texting Liam after that first whirlwind of a day at their house. But as the days turned into a week, you found yourself unable to shake the memory of his smirk, the casual confidence in the way he teased you, and the heat of his kiss still tingling on your skin.

When you finally caved in and sent a text—just a simple “Hey, it’s me”—you told yourself it was just out of curiosity. Nowt more.

His reply came later that night, the screen lighting up your dark room.

“Took you long enough, love. Thought you’d bottled it, got me worried”

You rolled your eyes at the message but couldn’t fight the smile spreading across your face.

“Worried? Really?”

“Course. Not every day someone like you waltzes into me gaff, and leaves me wanting more.”

Your cheeks burned at his audacity.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously charming, you mean.”

The banter came naturally, his texts as playful and maddening as his in-person quips. What you didn’t expect was how much you’d start looking forward to them—or how much they revealed about Liam beyond the cocky front. Beneath it, there was a wit and depth that caught you a tad off guard. You found yourself talking about everything from music to the frustrations of everyday life, and before you knew it, you were texting late into the night more often than not.

It was dangerous territory, you knew that much. And yet, when Lennon invited you back over to finish the project draft the following week, you didn’t hesitate.

You arrived mid-afternoon, greeted once again by Liam instead of Lennon.

“Back again, eh?” he said, leaning against the doorframe with that same smirk that'd drive anyone up the wall.

“I’m here for Lennon,” you said pointedly, brushing past him into the house.

“Right,” Liam drawled, shutting the door behind you. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, love.”

Lennon was nowhere in sight, and Liam wasted no time making himself comfortable on the couch beside you.

“He’s upstairs,” Liam said, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. “Probably lost in some boring uni nonsense. Reckon we’ve got a bit of time to kill.”

You gave him a wary look. “Don’t you have summat better to do?”

“Not really,” he said, grinning. “And even if I did, can’t think of anything better than windin’ you up.”

You tried to ignore him, pulling out your notes and pretending to organize them. But Liam was relentless.

“What’s this project of yours about, then?” he asked, leaning closer to peer over your shoulder.

“Media influence, told you already” you muttered, trying to focus on your pretend note organising.

“Fascinatin’,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Bet you’ve got loads of thrilling insights, don’t ya?”

You shot him a glare. “Do you ever take owt seriously?”

“Sure I do,” he said, feigning offense. “Just not boring uni projects - Proper dull, that. Can’t imagine Lennon’s much help with it, either.”

“He’s actually been great,” you said, your voice defensive.

Liam snorted. “Figures you’d say that. Always did like the serious types, didn’t ya?”

You frowned, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just an observation,” Liam said, his tone light but his eyes sharp. “Bet you’ve never let yourself have a bit of fun, have you? Always playin’ it safe, always thinkin’ too much.”

His words struck a nerve, and the frustration bubbled to the surface before you could stop it. “And what’s wrong with that? At least I’m not going around acting like a...a walking ego with no sense of boundaries”

Liam grinned, clearly happy about successfully winding you up. “And we all know that you love when I break these boundaries, love.”

The tension crackled between you, the air thick with unspoken challenges. Liam’s gaze dropped briefly to your lips, and your heart skipped a beat.

“You’re impossible,” you muttered, standing abruptly. “I’m going to find Lennon.”

But as you turned to leave, Liam’s hand shot out, gently catching your wrist.

“Wait,” he said softly, the teasing edge gone from his voice.

You hesitated, glancing back at him. His expression was different now—more serious, more vulnerable.

“Don’t go,” he said, his grip light but firm. “Not yet.”

The sincerity in his tone threw you off balance, and before you could respond, he stood, stepping closer. The tension between you was almost unbearable, the silence filled with the sound of your racing heartbeat.

“Tell me you don’t feel it,” Liam said, his voice low and rough. “Go on, say it, and I’ll back off.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came out.

Liam’s lips quirked into a small, knowing smile. “Thought so.”

He took another step closer, his hand still holding yours. “Let me kiss you again, love. Properly this time.”

Your resolve crumbled as he leaned in, his other hand brushing against your cheek. And when his lips met yours, it was as if the world stopped.

This kiss was slower, deeper, filled with all the unspoken tension that had been building between you. His hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with an intensity that left you breathless.

When you finally broke apart, your forehead resting against his, Liam let out a soft chuckle.

“Admit it,” he murmured, his voice still rough with emotion. “You’ve been wantin’ that as much as I have.”

You didn’t trust yourself to speak, so you just nodded, your cheeks flushing.

Lennon’s voice echoed faintly from upstairs, snapping you back to reality. You pulled away from Liam, your breath still uneven. His hands lingered at your waist for a moment before he reluctantly let go, his lips curving into a lazy grin.

“You’re trouble,” you whispered, taking a shaky step back.

Liam’s grin widened. “Takes one to know one, love.”

You rolled your eyes, but your flushed face betrayed the truth. Before you could overthink it, you mumbled something about needing to finish the project and hurried upstairs, leaving Liam behind with that infuriating smirk still plastered on his face.

The next few days were a blur. Every time your phone buzzed, your heart jumped, half-expecting another message from Liam. And they came often—teasing, flirtatious, and persistent.

You ignored the more daring texts but couldn’t resist replying to the others, your banter sharp but secretly thrilled. Despite your best efforts, Liam had a way of getting under your skin, his charm impossible to ignore.

A week later, you found yourself back at their house, this time to review your final project draft. You were quite sad as that would be the last time you could arrive at Liam's with a good excuse, after this session the project would surely be done. Lennon was as diligent as ever, focused on editing while you fought to keep your thoughts in check.

You almost made it through the session without incident—until Lennon got a call and excused himself, leaving you alone in the living room again.

The silence was short-lived.

“Fancy seein’ you here.”

You didn’t even need to look up to know it was Liam. His voice had that familiar mix of amusement and mischief, and when you glanced toward the doorway, he was leaning against the frame, arms crossed.

“Not now, Liam,” you said, trying to sound firm.

But Liam was undeterred. “What’s the matter, love? Thought you’d be happy to see me.”

You huffed, turning back to your notes. “I’m trying to work.”

“Boring,” he said, strolling into the room. “C’mon, you can’t be serious all the time.”

“Some of us have priorities,” you shot back.

Liam plopped down on the couch beside you, far too close for comfort. “And some of us know how to have a bit of fun. When are you gonna loosen up, eh?”

You didn’t answer, keeping your eyes firmly on your notes. But Liam wasn’t one to give up easily.

“Still mad about the other day?” he asked, his tone teasing.

You looked at him sharply. “I’m not mad.”

He raised an eyebrow, his grin widening. “Could’ve fooled me.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “What do you want, Liam?”

He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “You.”

The word hung in the air, heavy with meaning. Your heart skipped a beat, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“Too bad,” you said, your voice steady despite the heat rising to your cheeks. “I’m not interested.” you said with zero conviction in your voice.

Liam chuckled, clearly sensing your lie. “Keep tellin’ yourself that, love.”

Before you could reply, he reached out, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. The gesture was so unexpected—so gentle—that it left you momentarily stunned.

“You’re beautiful when you’re flustered, you know that?” he said softly, his gaze locking with yours.

Your breath hitched, and for a moment, the tension between you was unbearable. Liam’s hand lingered near your face, his thumb lightly grazing your cheek.

“We should stop” you said weakly, though you made no move to stop him.

Liam’s smile softened. “We don’t have to.”

And just like before, you found yourself leaning in. This time, the kiss was slower, more deliberate, as if both of you were savoring the moment. Liam’s hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer as his lips moved against yours with a confidence that left you breathless.

When the sound of footsteps on the stairs broke the spell, you pulled away abruptly, your heart pounding. Liam grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“Better get back to Lennon,” he said, his voice low. “Don’t want him gettin’ suspicious.”

You nodded, still dazed, and watched Liam hurry out of the room, your mind still racing.

That night, as you lay in bed, your phone buzzed with a new message.

“Still thinkin’ about me, love? Don’t lie—I know you are.”

You groaned, tossing your phone aside, but the smile tugging at your lips was impossible to ignore. Liam Gallagher was trouble, no doubt about it.

And yet, against all logic, you couldn’t seem to stay away.

The days that followed were a constant tug-of-war with yourself. Liam's texts kept coming leaving you blushing more with each one.

At first, you resisted replying. But by the third day, you’d had enough of pretending you weren’t thinking about him almost the entire time. With your heart pounding, you finally texted back:

“Fine. Come over tomorrow night. Just you.”

His reply was immediate.

“Now we’re talkin’. What time, love?” “7. And don’t be late.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

You stared at your phone after sending the message, half-excited, half-terrified. This was reckless, you knew that much. But the truth was, you didn’t care anymore.

The next evening, you found yourself pacing your living room, nerves buzzing as the clock ticked closer to seven. When the doorbell finally rang, you took a deep breath and opened it to find Liam leaning casually against the doorframe, a crooked grin on his face.

“Well, don’t you look nice,” he said, his eyes raking over you with a smirk that made your cheeks heat. “All done up for me, are you?”

You crossed your arms, trying to ignore the way your stomach flipped. “I didn’t do anything special.”

“Sure, love,” he said, stepping inside. “Just happened to be wearin’ that when I showed up, yeah? Don’t lie to me; I know effort when I see it.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you shot back, shutting the door behind him.

He turned to face you, the teasing glint in his eye sharpening. “Oh, I don’t need to, love. You’re doin’ all the flattering for me. I mean, this,” he gestured to you with an exaggerated sweep of his hand, “is practically a declaration of love.”

You groaned, resisting the urge to toss a pillow at him. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, you invited me over,” he said, his smirk growing. “Must mean you like me a little bit.”

“Don’t push it,” you said, trying to sound firm. But the smirk on his face told you he saw right through you.

Liam followed you to the couch, where you’d set out drinks to break the tension. He plopped down beside you, stretching out in that effortlessly confident way of his.

“So,” he said, picking up his glass. “What’s the plan, love? Bit of small talk before you ravish me, or are we skipping straight to the fun part?”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Give over.”

“Oh I know you love it” he said, grinning as he leaned back against the cushions.

You laughed shaking your head. “How do you even fit that ego through the door?”

“Talent,” he said smugly, taking a sip of his drink.

The teasing went on for a while, the conversation flowing easily as it always did. But there was a new edge to it tonight, a tension that simmered just beneath the surface. Liam’s gaze lingered a little longer, his touches—an arm draped over the back of the couch, a hand brushing yours—more deliberate.

Finally, you set your glass down and turned to face him fully. “Alright, enough games,” you said, your voice steady despite the butterflies in your stomach. “Why don’t we stop pretending we’re here to just talk?”

Liam’s smirk widened, his eyes darkening with something that made your pulse quicken. “Thought you’d never ask, love.”

He leaned in slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you met him halfway, your lips crashing together in a kiss that was as electric as it was inevitable.

Liam’s hands were on you immediately, pulling you closer until you were practically in his lap. His lips moved against yours with a confidence that made your head spin, his hands sliding up your back, tangling in your hair.

“You’ve been drivin’ me mad, y’know that?” he murmured against your lips, his voice rough with desire.

“You’re one to talk,” you shot back, your fingers tugging at his shirt.

He chuckled, his lips trailing down to your neck. “Can’t help myself around you, love. You’re irresistible.”

You let out a soft gasp as his lips found that sensitive spot just below your jaw, his teeth grazing your skin. “Liam—”

“Hmm?” he murmured, his lips still on your neck.

“Don’t you dare—”

But it was too late. You felt the familiar pressure of his lips against your skin, the telltale heat of a hickey forming.

“Liam!” you exclaimed, pulling back to glare at him.

He looked entirely too pleased with himself, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Couldn’t resist,” he said with a grin.

You narrowed your eyes at him while he leaned back a little with an unapologetic smirk.

You pushed him back slightly, your lips quirking into a sly smile. “Fine. But if you’re going to keep marking me up, it’s only fair I get to do the same.”

Liam raised an eyebrow, and his grin turned downright devilish as he leaned back against the couch. His hands stayed planted firmly on your waist, holding you there like he wasn’t planning to let you go anytime soon. “Oh, is that how it works now? You think you can keep up with me, love?”

“I don’t think—I know,” you said, your confidence unwavering even though his smirk made your stomach twist.

“Big words,” he said, his voice dripping with mockery as he tilted his head to expose his neck. “Go on, then. Show me what you’ve got. But don’t cry when you realize you’re not in my league.”

You scoffed, leaning closer. “I’m not going to cry.”

“No?” he teased, raising his eyebrows. “You sure about that? Last time I so much as nipped you, you were practically beggin’ me to stop. Or was it to keep going?” He cocked his head as if in mock thought. “Hard to remember—it’s all a blur of you moanin’ my name.”

“Shut up, Liam,” you snapped, your cheeks burning despite yourself.

“Shutting up,” he said, the grin never leaving his face. “But I’ve got to say, the view from here is pretty spectacular.” His eyes dragged over you pointedly. “You got all dolled up just to get your revenge, didn’t you? Go on, admit it. Could’ve come out in your pajamas, but no—you went full effort.”

You huffed and tried to ignore him, leaning in closer to press your lips to his neck, but he wasn’t finished.

“I mean, it’s flattering, really,” he said, his voice dropping into that low, teasing tone that made your skin prickle. “All this just for me? Sweetheart, if you wanted to impress me, you could’ve just said so.”

“Oh my God, Liam,” you said, your voice muffled against his skin as you tried to block him out.

But he wasn’t letting you off that easily. “What?” he said, his voice lilting with mock innocence. “You’re makin’ me feel special, love. You’re desperate to make your mark, aren’t you?”

“Desperate?” you echoed, pulling back just enough to glare at him.

“Yeah,” he said, leaning forward so his breath brushed your ear. “You’ve been thinkin’ about this, haven’t you? Wondering how it’d feel to take control for once. Bet it’s been driving you mad, hasn’t it?”

“You’re unreal” you muttered, trying to focus on your task.

“And you’re stalling,” he said, grinning as he leaned back again. “Come on, then. Show me what you’ve got. Or is all that fire just for show?”

Your pride refused to let him win. “Fine. But don’t complain when you’re the one left squirming.”

“Oh, I’m quaking in my boots,” he quipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

You ignored him and pressed your lips to the curve of his neck. You started with a gentle kiss, your lips brushing over his skin like a whisper. His body tensed beneath you, though he tried to play it off.

“Is that it?” he asked, though his voice was already a little uneven. “Didn’t realize revenge was meant to tickle.”

You smirked against his neck, letting your teeth graze the sensitive spot just below his jawline. His breath hitched, and the grip on your waist tightened reflexively.

“Better?” you murmured, your lips brushing against his skin as you spoke.

“Gettin’ there,” he said, though his voice was noticeably rougher.

You sucked gently at first, testing the waters, then increased the pressure, making sure to take your time. His breathing grew heavier, and his hands flexed on your hips like he was trying to stay still.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered, his voice low and strained. “Alright, love, point made.”

But you weren’t done. You moved slightly, finding a new spot just above his collarbone, and sucked harder, your teeth grazing his skin enough to make him let out a low, guttural sound that sent a thrill through you.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you?” you teased, emboldened by his reaction.

“Don’t get cocky,” he rasped, though his hands slid up your back, pressing you closer. “You’re not—oh, fuckin' hell—” His words cut off as you sucked again, the mark blooming dark against his pale skin.

Liam chuckled, his hands tightening on your waist. “Not bad,” he said, his voice rough. “But you’re gonna have to do better than that if you wanna keep up with me.”

You leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his ear. “Oh, I’m just getting started.”

You pulled back, a smirk tugging at your lips as you watched him, utterly satisfied with the two dark marks you’d left on his skin. But your mischievous side flared, and you leaned in again, catching his gaze.

“You know,” you said softly, your voice dripping with intent, “I think I’ve found the perfect spot this time.”

Liam raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but also a little wary. “Oh, is that right? You reckon you’ve got me figured out now?”

“Maybe,” you teased, the corners of your mouth curling as you moved in closer. “Or maybe I’ve just been saving the best for last, all for you love.”

His body stiffened slightly, but he didn’t pull away. His hands slid up to your back, fingers grazing the edges of your shirt, and he met your eyes with an almost challenging glint. “You’re gonna keep me here, then? Got no other plans, huh?”

You didn’t answer, too focused on the task at hand. Instead, you let your lips hover near his skin, just inches away, and he exhaled sharply, like he knew exactly what was coming.

You lowered your mouth to the side of his neck, your lips brushing over the sensitive skin as you tested for that perfect spot. He twitched, and you smirked, immediately knowing you’d found it. His breath hitched slightly, and before he could say anything, you pressed your lips firmly against the warm skin, sucking gently at first.

He froze, his hands gripping your waist, as you felt his pulse quicken under your lips. You couldn’t help but smile into the skin, feeling that rush of power as he tensed, knowing you had him just where you wanted him.

Liam’s breath hitched. “Bloody hell,” he muttered, his voice low and strained. But you didn’t stop—this time you sucked harder, your lips pressing down with a firm, determined pressure. You felt the soft pulse of his skin beneath you, and the moment your teeth grazed his neck, Liam let out a sharp gasp, his hands digging into your hair, tugging you even closer.

“Oh God,” he groaned, his voice thick with a mix of shock and desire. “You really know what you’re doin’, don’t you?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed, pressing deeper, your tongue flicking out against the sensitive area. His body was shaking slightly beneath your touch, but he didn’t dare move away. His hands gripped your hair harder, guiding you with desperate urgency as his breathing became uneven.

You could feel the strain in his neck as he stretched it out, giving you better access. “Jesus,” he muttered, his voice tight with tension. “I swear to God, love...”

You took that as your cue to push even further. With one final, decisive suck, you pulled away to admire your work. The mark you’d left was darker, deeper, and undoubtedly the best one yet.

Liam let out a groan of both frustration and pleasure, and you could see how the edge of his control was slipping. He was breathing heavily, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he tried to regain his composure. His lips parted as though to speak, but nothing came out. His hands were still in your hair, keeping you impossibly close, his breath warm against your skin.

“You’re gonna be walking around with this for days, aren’t you?” you teased, the power shift intoxicating. “You’re not gonna be able to hide it.”

Liam let out a low, throaty laugh, his voice rough with need. “I don’t bloody care, love. You could cover me in them, for all I care. Doesn’t bother me.”

“Oh, I know it doesn’t,” you said, eyes glinting with mischief. “You like it, don’t you? Being marked like this.”

“Yeah, well,” Liam muttered, still catching his breath, “You’ve got me all turned on now, couldn’t care less who sees it.” He leaned in close again, his lips brushing against your ear, the warmth of his breath making your heart race. “I’m not the one hiding, am I?”

The night blurred after that, a mix of kisses, laughter, and whispered challenges. By the time you finally collapsed against him, both of you were marked with more than a few hickeys.

Your face was hot, your breath still coming in uneven pants as you looked at Liam, whose own face was similarly flushed. He was studying you now, his eyes dark but soft, filled with something you couldn’t quite place.

“You alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than usual, his fingers tracing lightly across the small hickeys you’d left on his neck.

You nodded, still catching your breath, the intensity of the moment slowly sinking in. "Yeah... I'm good."

Liam chuckled softly, shaking his head, clearly still in disbelief at the way the night had unfolded. "You're bloody brilliant, you know that, love?"

You smiled, teasing as always. "Glad you think so, Gallagher, same goes out to you"

But despite the playful banter, there was something deeper there now, an unspoken connection that neither of you could deny. The night had shifted, but it hadn’t ended. And as you stayed close, tangled in his arms, you both knew that things had changed between you—and there was no going back.

Still, the reality started to set in, and you hesitated for a moment, your thoughts clouded with uncertainty. You bit your lip, gathering the courage to speak up.

"Hey, Liam," you started, your voice quieter now, the playful edge gone, replaced with a vulnerable honesty. "I don’t want this to just be a one-night thing, you know? I... I want more than that."

He raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into one of those familiar teasing grins. "Oh, so now you want more? Where was this earlier, love? I coulda been yours way back when, but you had to play it cool, didn’t ya?"

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile at his typical Liam bravado. But you weren’t backing down. "I didn’t know what I wanted until now," you admitted, your voice quieter, more sincere. "But I know I don’t want this to end like some fling."

Liam's grin softened a little as he studied you, that playful edge still there but with a new tenderness. He leaned in, brushing his lips lightly across yours, almost as if he were testing the waters.

“Should’ve said summat before, then, if you wanted to be me girl,” he teased, though there was something genuine behind the words. "But I'll allow it, love."

Your heart fluttered at the way he said it, the mix of cocky and sweet that only Liam Gallagher could pull off. And before you could respond, he pulled you in again, his lips pressing against yours in a kiss that was somehow both lazy and full of fire, the promise of something deeper between you both.

You melted into him, your body fitting against his like it always had been meant to. The kiss deepened, the air around you thick with everything that had been unsaid before, everything you were now ready to face. As his hands pulled you closer, you could feel that you were both stepping into something new—something that could be real. And you weren’t about to let it slip away.

He grinned, pulling you closer. “Think we’re gonna have a lot of fun, you and me.”

And for once, you didn’t argue.

_______________________________________________________

Hope you lot liked it. Kept it proper long ’cause I know the pain when a fic cuts off too soon. Also, let’s be real—I’m just hopelessly head over heels for that man

waiting for your feedback me celestial bastards xx

[showsandstuff]

Am I the only one who is disappointed with Caitvi in season two? When I watched the first season I had the biggest caitvi brain rot because they actually gave me SUCH a fun dynamic with them. Buddy cop Caitvi was hilarious, I loved that so so much!

And season 2 started of strong imo but then it rushed through everything. I loved the scene in the cell, obviously, but it was misplaced. Your sister is about to kill herself girl what are you doing this is not the time!! And other than romantic and sexual tension there wasn't all that much left of their previous dynamic aside from the brief scene in episode six...

Idk, I think I'm just annoyed. Usually when I see a non canon gay ship get more traction than the Canon lesbian couple, I just assume it's misogyny or lesbophobia, and move on with my life. But I can't even do that here because Caitvi was WAY more popular in season 1 (as they should).

Jayvik isn't getting somewhat more popular in season 2 because people don't like lesbians, but because their arcs are connected so strongly to each other. (Also I'm not saying that Jayvik is now more popular than Caitvi, but it's like a graph where the super high stocks caitvi are still even while Jayvik is skyrocketing rn)

Wanna know why Jayvik wasn't all that popular in season 1? Because (after act 1) their arcs were mostly separate, safe for a couple of moments. Viktor worked on his body and Jayce was doing politics.

Caitlyn and Vis arcs intertwined more, they actually did shit together and it was beautiful, funny, romantic, EVERYTHING!

Also a fun opposites attract buddy cop dynamic is also just more fun than men who do science together (in my personal opinion)

Now let's look at Caitlyn and Vis relationship in season two.

It starts of strong. I momentarily thought that Caitlyn was uncharacteristically mean to Vi when she refused to become an enforcer, but she apologized for it later and I recognized the fact that Caitlyn was grieving. Then once we get to episode two and three I could already feel their relationship being a bit more odd. The kiss (though I cheered) didn't feel right. I felt like something was missing, and that was their chemistry from season one. Also I feel like we glossed over too many decisions that Caitlyn made, and I think Vi should've put a stop to it sooner. But overall I was okay with them in act 1.

Then we had a timeskip and the two were fully separated. Act 2 literally started with Caitlyn in bed with another woman, like we can see they're not together anymore. Caitlyn has obviously changed, there is not much of the sweet cupcake left that we had come to love in season 1, and Vi is boxing and getting drunk.

Then they meet and like... Vi calls Cait cupcake, and Cait switches sides IMMEDIATELY? GIRL WTF?!

I get that Caitlyn wasn't entirely on Ambessas side the entire time, but I had hoped for more drama first. So you're telling me the very next interaction the two have after their heart wrenching falling out is them making up again? Come on.

Then we had act 3 and overall it was better I think but the timing of their hot scene in the cell was just odd, like what about your sister about to kill herself? I was very happy and hyped in the moment but then I realized how rushed this was. Why? Why make em fuck right here? And in the final act, the two weren't together because again, their arcs were not as connected. And that's actually pretty cool to have a couple who do their own things! But it doesn't help their relationship when they, in turn, aren't given enough time to develop as a pair!

I feel like season 1 did this incredible job of setting these characters up, showing us why they work so well together and why they would fall for one another. And season 2 gave us pay off for it but with very little set up, which was needed because of how Cait changed throughout the season. I don't mention Vi here because she did not change. She had her drunk boxing phase, which we got nothing but a montage off, but everything else is basically season 1 Vi aside from very few things here and there. Like her becoming an enforcer wasn't a character change for Vi, her finally letting go of powder and calling her sister Jinx, wasn't a big character moment for Vi, they were pay off for a set up we didn't get enough of.

SO TO GET TO MY POINT:

S2 was rushed. We should've AT LEAST gotten 3 seasons, like minimum, because there was a whole lot of plot and very little moments in between for characterization. Especially for Caitlyn and Vi and their relationship to each other.

I still generally prefer Caitvi to Jayvik, but only because of season 1. Season 2 gave me the two things I wanted most (a sexy scene and a kiss) but forgot to give me the things that made me fall in love with this ship in the first place.

Which was the hilarious buddy cop dynamic of rich girl cop Cait, and broke butch prisoner Vi.

[takaraphoenix]

Ooh.. so now I’m curious. I’ve never given it much thought but do you have a family tree for stiles that you use or do you just change up his family when you want to make something work for a story? I’ve never thought about his family outside of the sheriff to be honest.

I do not change it up!! Hate changing things up. Once I decide on it, it is set. But Stiles' family tree is something that's still a work in progress in a way. I have the closer family established in my head, but since he is of Polish ancestry, there needs to be bigger family because I have it on good authority that family's very important in Poland too - something I highly relate too - so I kinda want there to be great-grandaunt and her family too, the side of the family that still lives in Poland. Haven't had a plot that features them yet though so they are just a vague concept.

Noah's side of the family is less fleshed out though. I only got his parents, Eliasz and Janina Zieliński, aka Elias and Jane Stilinski, who changed their names to appeal better to American palates and didn't argue when their last name was misspelled upon entering the country (because Stilinski isn't an actual Polish surname and a nonsense word so I needed to justify that somehow and Americans making up surnames for immigrants because they don't care is... not a new concept. So I picked one that phonetically would be close enough to maybe be a misheard and then misspelled.)

We know grandpa Stilinski sucked, but I think grandma Stilinski was a nice and kind woman, very soft spoken though so she never stood up to her husband.

Claudia's side of the family I have more fleshed out though.

Mieczysław Gajos, aka the only one who has a canon name and thus technically actually exists in canon, was a strict and stern man. He absolutely hated that Claudia married a man so fully removed from his Polish roots (my headcanon that John never learned the language, or culture, because his parents were so set on Americanizing themselves). But he loved his daughter and grandson very, very fiercely and was incredibly proud that she named her kid after him. In canon main timeline, I do headcanon him to be dead but I do have a fic planned where he's very importantly alive (and where I will most likely also get to explore the extended family more).

His wife, Małgorzata Gajos, known as Granny Gosia, was much more forgiving and the member of the Gajos family who was the most welcoming toward Noah, however I headcanon that she died even before Claudia, so when Claudia died, Noah had no one left who was on his side.

In my mind, Claudia has a younger brother named Stanisław, who usually just goes by Stan. I first mentioned him and his kids in Delivery Upon Death and had him turn his back on Stiles and his dad.

I'm kind of ping-ponging between uncle Stan's family cutting ties with Noah after Claudia's death, or, the more painful headcanon I used in Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy), where they actually took Stiles in and raised him for a stint as a kid after Claudia's death, after Noah became an alcoholic.

That something happened that got CPS on the map, personal favorite that Stiles accidentally set the kitchen on fire trying to cook dinner because he was an eight year old child who shouldn't have to cook. And then Stiles spent some time under uncle Stan and aunt Carol's care.

Carol is a Texan country gal, big and loving and she doted on Stiles a lot while he was under their care.

They got two daughters, Maggie and Miri, who Stiles grew up close with and grew even closer to when he lived with them. Maggie is roughly Stiles' age, while Miri is a few years younger than them but loves to trail them. He learned riding with them. Yes, Stiles can now ride in any of my universes because I like the idea of him and horses (which is mildly hilarious to me, because I do not like horses).

I'll get around to making a proper family tree for Stiles once I ironed out the extended family, plus I'm still smoothing out the edges of the Hale family tree because I haven't fully settled on all angles there.