#then im not establishing boundaries and “who are you to expect people to know it annoys you”

[the-exiled-comic]

I get what you mean, as a (different) ClanGen comic blog creator myself x.x It’s definitely gotten harder to manage the sort of public responses and interactions when it comes to those kinds of asks. People being rude or parasocial, or outright asking you to tell you the entire future plot over and over again, or jumping to crazy conclusions and not listening, or otherwise not treating you like you’re a living human being with a life behind the screen. The amount of asks I’ve had to delete or ignore (or even fans I’ve had to block) because of how bad the ask culture/“content consuming culture”/fan interaction has gotten, it’s exhausting. Very very exhausting. I’m surprised you haven’t turned off asks completely, I’ve had to do that multiple times now just to give myself mental health breaks from it all. I love drawing and I love creating so I don’t think I could ever stop creating comics, but my god sometimes I really wish I could upload my things to a vacuum where I could just create without ever seeing any of the fan responses to it haha

yeah its rough out here. theres a lot of very positive comments and thoughts directed at comics too, so its certainly not all bad. might be bold to say, but the world is a better place with our stories and i dont think we should ever feel forced to stop sharing them but there is a ratio of negativity thats much higher than we would all like, and i just wanna encourage people who may feel negatively to keep it to themselves unless the author outright asks for critique. and to just re-read or drop the comic if it is so confusing or frustrating

i actually did have the ask box closed for a while, i dont remember how long. it was after firespots betrayal, there was a lot of really upset people and at some point there were over 100 unanswered asks from weeks of build up that i just purged and closed it for a while. i dont mean to threaten to take away things bc i know i enjoy reading insight from creators i like. but sometimes i dont want to deal with it and sadly it IS because people are mean or they talk about my characters in ways that make me feel like im a bad writer or that they hate what i made

[blackvahana]

i am really never going to understand why people post "shifting antis dni" in the astral projection tag. "here practice that constantly gets appropriated by us and used as a weird justification for a new set of beliefs that aren't really based in the same reality you work with, and that also gets completely misunderstood by our community because we don't care to understand what you do and just pretend we know it's what we do like christians saying other religions worship the christian god, have a post! Also dni if you don't like our practice that has nothing to do with the one whose tag we just shoved this into"

if you're not astral projecting don't put shit in the ap tag. if you don't even know the difference between AP and RS I dont think your opinion holds enough weight to counter the pushback against flooding a separate practice's tag with "if you dont like the practice I'm talking about in your tags dni"

[snapscube]

on the name thing: i think people want to call you something different because they like you and want to feel like they're your friend by giving you their own quirky nickname. a show of affection or something. that's my good will interpretation of it because it's certaintainly something I can relate to.

also hope this is ok to say, but I miss seeing you doing facecam. you're gorgeous ^^ i respect if you don't feel comfy with it tho, it ain't easy and it's probably much comfier to not bother with it at all lol

have a great day, Penny!

(i know i literally just said im moving on from this but i felt like this idea was worth responding to, AFTER THIS i am moving on guaranteed) i get that! and thats why i stress that i feel this way regardless of intent because the last thing i want to do is cause guilt or demonize people for something that's ultimately pretty common. but even considering your example, with that notion comes a couple problems:

i am not your friend! i do think that there has been a bit of an OVER-correction when it comes to how people think about parasocial relationships and personally relating to people they admire, and generally i like to push back against the notion that having any parasocial relationship is a bad thing cause personally i think parasocial relationships are unavoidable and it's more about your expectations towards that one-sided relationship that become the issue. but two things remain true in either case: i know you so much less than you know me, AND you know me infinitely less than you think you do. so at the end of the day, it is not my responsibility to walk on eggshells about behavior that assumes an intimacy from me i am incapable of and especially uninterested in retaliating.

i have to stress that i am extremely aware it would be insane of me to expect to control peoples actions regarding this on such a large scale, and im also well aware many people come in who are new who get this info for the first time. i repeat the conversation in the interest of introducing those boundaries to people who are new and in general just reinforcing them. i try not to be such a stick in the mud about most things but this is something I REALLY care about, and so i give it the no-nonsense approach i think it deserves. on that note: understanding that there are going to be gaps where people either just do not know about my preferences or simply do not care doesn't mean i have to pretend like i also don't care about it. people can say whatever they want about me in their own spaces, you can call me whatever the fuck you want amongst friends. i do not care cause i do not have the capability to care, it's never going to reach me! but that does not mean i have to pretend to enjoy it if/when it DOES reach me, especially if it's presented as an option for me to respond to. if someone just calls me something weird in a chatroom it's like, i literally do not have the energy or overall scope of vision to react to every one of those instances specifically. there absolutely are things u just gotta let roll off of u sometimes. BUT, the reason we often get into this conversation repeatedly on my tumblr is because given the ask format i get a lot of people who go out of their way to approach me with name jokes or loopholes to an actively established preference as if they are looking for my approval on it. that is where it becomes a little more unpalatable for me.

and to respond to your second question: i appreciate the kind words on that! i sure would like to reintroduce facecam again someday somehow but right now my desk setup is not great for it haha

[softcitrus2345]

Hello! This may sound a bit weird, but do you have any advice or recommendations on getting into this niche? I've kind of been watching from afar on several blogs, and I really want to try and test the waters! But I'm not really sure how to go about it, and I'm super scared that I'll end up just talking to a brick wall, having my mutuals find out, or have people ridicule me :')

Thank you for any and all help - I love your art!! Been hanging around for a while now and the progress you've made is so cool

- Clueless Anon

Oh I totally getcha! That's not a weird question at all! /gen /pos

Starting out with this kinda thing is really difficult, I know from experience. It took me months to hype myself up enough to even create this blog, let alone start posting on it, and I had (and still kinda do) those same fears you expressed, they're all very valid but hopefully what I share can help a bit with making your experience more manageable :3

The information I'll share here consists of opinions based on my personal experience posting on this blog, and getting into the belly kink community in general

I'll break it up into steps from what I sorta did when I started out so it makes a bit more sense.

STRUCTURE YOUR BLOG - Make an introduction post with general information about what to expect from your blog, and some other information about yourself if you want to. I like to include a few other things like some of my hard boundaries and leave it as a PINNED POST so that anyone who comes across your account will see this information

BLOCK YOUR MUTUALS - I have the same exact fear of being "found out" by people im close to or just know outside of this space, so once you set up the bare essentials on your blog, look for your mutuals accounts and block them. If you think a mutual of yours might have a blog but you're not sure, ask them! (Something I did was I asked my mutuals to send me their blogs so I could check them out when in reality it was so I could do this exact thing) Don't see blocking as something inherently malicious or bad, it's just a protective measure and a way to curate your experience on the internet in a way that is comfortable for you!

INTERACT WITH YOUR FELLOW ARTISTS! - I know it may not seem like something super important, but interacting with other artists is a very good way to establish yourself in the community, reblogging, tagging and replying to posts you like with nice comments have the potential for others to check out your blog or interact with you as well! I got lucky enough that I found similar communities outside of Tumblr beforehand, but it's still an effective way to get yourself out there and seen!

START POSTING! - Besides my intro post, my first post was something that I wanted to curate in a way that would encourage conversation. I shared several of my ocs that I planned on posting here and some basic information about them, and opened up asks! It's always gonna be a pretty slow start, but as long as you put the time into your work and are passionate about what you want to share, people will find your stuff! It's hard sometimes, especially when comparing yourself to others is such a common thing for people to deal with (including myself sometimes) but everyone's gotta start somewhere!

Starting out anywhere is difficult in itself, but with things like this that are more sensitive subjects for people, I completely understand your uncertainty and nervousness about sharing this kind of content online. But as long as you're not hurting anyone or sharing harmful content, I don't see why people should be so stinky about others just trying to explore different parts of themselves and their interests.. Kinks shouldn't inherently be seen as something to be ashamed of just because someone doesn't understand it. I've been lucky enough to have close friends in this community who have helped me become more comfortable with myself and with sharing my chonky art, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

I'm flattered you came to me for advice, I hope some of that can help you on your journey, and thank you for sticking around for so long, it means a lot to have your support ;;w;; 💖

I hope things go well for you! I'm cheering you on anon!!

[pluralprompts]

Heyoo, im (we?) have some questions, and i thought that here would be a safe place.

Well, i have 2 sys homies at my school, and theres that mf fictive of one of them that never stfu and keeps calling me as plural.

Day by day i respond that w diferents feelings and reactions, and before that a lot of "suspect" things happened w me, almost like i was plural. I mean, i alway had a headspace, even as a kid i talked with other lill guys that lived in my head and i saw them, but then, they disapeared years later. And now that that mf keeps saying that things, im really confused.

The point is, im boderline (diagnosis in hand), and i can be like, 5-6+ people in a day (talking about personallity) and even of my "me" are diferent w diferent perceives and thats fucking strange. In part i know that just my boderline that alternate, but im not sure if its just it anymore.

Sorry for the drop...

That sounds like a confusing situation!

What you're talking about does sound rather plural. I'd recommend keeping a record of these things, especially the everyday changes you go through (including these changes in how you perceive things), so you can get a better scope of what's going on there and the extent of it. Such day-to-day changes aren't impossible in singlets, but they appear to be less common, based on what I've gleaned about singlets and how they live (I, obviously, would not know what that's like, but it seems to be true, as most folks don't expect everyday changes, and may inquire after your health if they notice).

As for that individual, perhaps ask them to stop or at least lay off for a while, as it's bothering you, and getting in the way of figuring out if you are or aren't plural. After all, this isn't just a you thing – very few people enjoy being told they're one specific thing/category for certain before they themselves have been given the chance to explore that option, decide for themselves, and choose who and how to tell when they come to a conclusion.

Unfortunately, other neurodivergencies and disorders can make plurality complicated or more difficult to identify. Fortunately, this allows for overlap where you can just say, "Yeah, my BPD and plurality are intertwined. What about it?" if you so choose. Sometimes, there's no clear line between one neurodivergency and another, and this sort of interpretation through a plural lens/muddling of neurodivergencies is perhaps most common for BPD (and MaDD, but that's not relevant here), I would estimate. Unfortunately again, this does mean that you'll have to explore how you feel your BPD interacts with your possible plurality without much of a roadmap – but hey, you get to freestyle your exploration and how you describe what's going on in your head, at least! Perhaps others with both BPD and some form of plurality may be able to give advice?

In short, yes, it does sound like you could be plural, but that's something for you to decide, including how your potential plurality is affected by or intertwined with your BPD (or if it's not!). Don't be afraid to establish boundaries about discussing the possibility/your questioning journey, and stand your ground if someone is making you uncomfortable or pressuring you one way or the other. Even if they turn out to be right in the future, that's no reason to overstep and act like the ultimate authority on your life and identity in the present. Remember, you can always quit, hit the bricks, and walk out of a conversation that is making you uncomfortable. It's not rude to ask for respect and space to figure things out for yourself, and it's not rude to enforce a boundary like that. Take care of yourself as you explore who you are!

[youremyheaven]

I don't know if you remember but a while ago I sent an ask talking about how as a ketuvian I've always felt rejected and that's why I close myself off to people ? Anyway that's was a whileee ago.

But now that I'm in university, I just feel so alone, I've always had friends right but I never ever had a close friend, a confident you know ? And now I just feel like seeing everybody spend time with their group of friends I feel like I missing out.

When I try to make friends at my uni they are never what I expect and it never goes far, ( I fear that I appear as clingy) I just never meet anybody that fits me also I am in my rahu/Venus antardasha so I just feel so obsessed with establishing socials connections which feels very weird for me as a ketuvian and I just feel lost like I want to get this idea out of my head however I can't and everytime I get a friend they just start at one point expressing animosity towards me like 😐 why you're jealous I tought we were twinning?? I just feel so lost and exploited like I try to give out love but it is never matched so I was wondering if you would like to give a piece of advice or some insight on how should I stop the FOMO ? 👉👈🥺

I'm so glad you're back 💓

sorry babe i havent checked my asks in a few months so i must have missed it 💀💀

honestly babe, not everybody has genuine, healthy, meaningful friendships. i say this as someone who knows a lot of people and hangs out with a lot of people. all the people with these vast friend groups and besties they hang out with every day lowkey have all kinds of issues with them and THATS OKAY. we seldom get a realistic perspective on it.

most friendships are complicated if not superficial. the secret to healthy friendships are keeping boundaries.

OBVIOUSLY now there are genuinely good people in this world and good friendships can be formed with them but its all about timing. ive gone yearrrs of my life without having close friends :(((

now i want you to write down what exactly you're looking for in a friend:

is it someone to confide in? someone to have deep chats with? someone who will give you emotional support??

is it someone to hang out and do fun stuff with??

is it a combination of the two??

ideally, it should be possible to have a combo of the two but FRANKLY speaking, in this economy, you can have chill friends you hangout with occasionally (you dont talk to them everyday, you dont really have personal convos etc etc) or you can have a few friends who you can get super personal with

now considering how you've just started uni, your emotional needs are going to be very different from that of a woman in her mid 20s (aka me) for me, i dont really need to share much ?? with anyone?? but i do have people in my life that i can talk to if i need to?? but mostly we all just do our job and then chill and thats just adulthood

university is a whole different ballgame and i understand how isolating it can be without friends :(( 🥺🥺

but honestly its better to be alone than it is to be surrounded by fake asf friends 💀💀so dont worry about that

my university years were horrible because of toxic friendships. i felt alone through most of it and im sooo glad its over. i wish i had a fun uni experience to speak of but :// it is what it is and since it was covid era, not many people my age have a fun uni exp to speak of either so i didnt feel like im missing out on much

ANYWAAYYYS thats enough about me

about FOMO,

its just a part of life. we're all going to feel left out/excluded/left behind etc etc but tbh its not really fun if you aren't there experiencing it yourself. idk if that makes sense??? but like suppose you went to that party that you see all over your friends IG stories, once you're there you'll realise its nothing much, its just some drinks, disco lights, awkward people, pretentious wannabes and ppl with zero personality trying to impress each other. nothing is ever as fun as you see on instagram. so you're not really missing out on much. also company matters a great deal, if you go to fun places with lame asf/ boring/rude/ vibe unmatched people then youll ruin a good thing for yourself!!!

ive been asked to go to goa (its like the ibiza of india for the non desis) with like 3 different friend groups and ive declined them all bc while it sounds fun in theory (dropping acid at a rave) i dont think ill enjoy myself as much bc idrc about those ppl

life is only fun if we MAKE it fun. whenever you feel left out, just remind yourself "i probably wouldnt have enjoyed it any way" ORRRR "i wasnt there so it couldnt have been that much fun" (if youre delulu like me)

another major factor behind fomo is self comparison

i dont open IG, i dont see those stories. idgaf what other ppl are upto. if youre going to see coldplay, good for you. if you're going to iceland. good for you. IDC. i stay in my lane. i focus on myself. i get my shit done and try to check off my boxes.

let them have fun now. your turn WILL COME. and it will be amazinggg <333

just think of this as an era where you're sowing the seeds. learn to enjoy your own company. do things alone. get new hobbies. go on dates.

and there will come a different era which i call HARVEST SZN 😎😎😎where you can harvest the seeds you have sown now and have a blast

nothing is forever in life. spring follows winter. thats the rule of nature. so honestly just keep going.

dont be afraid of missing out because youre not missing out on anything that you would actually enjoy. bc the things that are actually for you, you can never miss out on??? if that makes sense???

idk if this helps 😭😭😭

but youre so smol and so precious. pls take care!!! dont fall into bad habits and dont waste these years by holding yourself back. do everything u want to do!!! and honestly try to get some kind of job. that will also keep u engaged and not leave u with any time to think <333 (welcome to capitalism, u cant have fomo if youre too tired to think 😍)

love,

heaven

[femmefatalevibe]

how do I stop keeping expectations from people? I SERIOUSLY NEED TANGIBLE WAYS TO COMPLETELY KILL MY EXPECTATIONS BECAUSE THEY KEEP DISAPPOINTING ME AND IM THE ONLY ONE SUFFERING

Hi love!

The best advice that I can give is to adopt this mindset: Other people's words and actions are reflections of themselves – their ego, self-image, self-esteem, personal struggles or inner wounds, empathy, maturity, etc. Depersonalize their actions. Whenever someone lets you down, remember they're holding a mirror up to themselves and are displeased with the reflection staring back at them.

Secondly, establish and stick to your personal boundaries. If you believe someone is overstepping one (or more) of your boundaries, state your boundaries clearly, calmly, and assertively. Walk away if someone is dismissive or disrespectful once you've expressed yourself in this manner. You deserve better.

Tips On Setting/Upholding Boundaries:

Make it about you and never about them.

Know the difference between boundaries and expectations: A boundary is about you and how you will respond to another person's actions. An expectation is the way you expect others to conduct themselves (at least in your presence/relationship). Gently bring up the behavior or actions that bother or trigger you. Communicate your boundary to them when it comes to these conversation topics or behaviors. Say "when you talk about "X" topic or do "X" behavior, I feel uncomfortable/stressed/upset and need to remove myself from the conversation (either physically, hang up the phone, stop answering texts), etc. If they're well-meaning friends, family members, partners, etc., they will respect your boundaries and know that there's an expectation in your relationship for these topics/behaviors to not come up and, if they do, be apologized for and corrected immediately (humans slip up occasionally; you will know the difference between disregard for your well-being and an honest mistake by their reaction to your calling them out).

Always use "I" statements to communicate your needs and requests: Telling people what they're doing wrong instead of how their actions make them feel automatically puts others in defense mode. So, always make sure to describe the exact words/actions/behaviors that are bothering you and how these situations make you feel. Don't personalize these actions – unless you want a negative reaction from the other person (you don't).

Make time for self-care: It's true that you can only be fully present for others when you fill up your own cup and have your needs met first. Otherwise, you're only showing up as a fraction of the person you can and strive to be. Spend time alone. Take long showers and walks. Read books, journal, draw, meditate, and watch your favorite movies or TV shows. Eat healthy meals and work out. Focus on your goals and activities that make you feel good no matter what or who else is trying to enter your mind at any time.

Hope this helps xx

[twst-drabbles]

Poor Yuu. Also. Yuu being the Therapist Friend. Not just in NRC in general, but also in their friend group. Mostly being acknowledged when one of the others wants or needs something. And other than that, they’re… not really acknowledged. Just when the others need something or another. Just being that Therapist Friend who everyone can turn to, but doesn’t have anyone that they can turn to. Maybe, if they don’t ready have it, they develop imposter syndrome. And no one tries to correct them or tries to help them. Sure they’re in the friend group. But… they’re just an extra. Someone that can be picked up and put down whenever the others so please.

Angst.

Asp, just cause I’m not very good at signaling if something is a request or not, this is not a request. Just a lil brain thing that randomly came to be. Blurb? Sorry >.< im not good at explaining some things and I know I can go into too much detail-

I certainly do love my angst. Though, I actually don't consider the main character to be the Therapist Friend, they're actually more of the Listener Friend, since Therapist implies that the main character has the words needed to help them solve their problems or encourage them to solve it, buuuut that isn't really the case here. Basically just an ear piece for people to talk to and not really expect anything back, which one would think is a pretty good thing since you don't have the expectation of carrying someone's problem, they just wanted to be heard out.

Cause with being the Therapist Friend, you can get angry at someone, at everyone really cause you're shouldering the burden of everyone's problems, but when you're the Listener Friend, who isn't expected to solve problems beyond just listen to them, you have no one to get angry at cause there's never an expectation to solve their problems. Once this dynamic is set, it's hard to break out of it. And if you're someone, like me, who never likes to talk about their problems cause asking for help is difficult to admit, you're gonna end up in a dynamic where people won't ask about what's going with you, because they're respecting your boundaries that you've already established.

Either way, it's very angsty. But yeah, that's the distinction I wanted to make. A lot of people like to say the main character is the Therapist Friend, but I myself can never relate to that. To me, the main character is the Listener Friend, which I relate to more. It's the kind of role that won't preserve a friendship once you shift into a very different environment, such as switching jobs or going to different schools.

[anonymousad]

Just learned about your blog, and I have been SO tired of keeping quiet about my issues with Harlan. I was in the Invictus server for about 2 years and I saw so much. I'm going to bullet point what I can remember:

-Harlan has repeatedly posted screenshots of negative reviews/critiques without redacting usernames, despite being advised that it could lead to fans dogpiling

-He has shared screenshots of emails from his family where they said negative things about him, which is wildly inappropriate for a creator to share with his fans

-Some of the perks to being an Invictus patreon member is getting weekly Malevolent episodes (which then get put together as a single longer public episode) and typically an episode ends with a choice and patreon members at certain tier and above can vote on which option is chosen, like a choise your own adventure story. Back in October someone voiced their disappointment in not getting to vote in the patreon poll because Harlan closed it on a Friday instead of a Sunday as normal, he went on an emotional spiral where he lashed out at fans, said "anyone who is unhappy being a patreon doesn't have to be a patreon", and tried to guilt trip people by bringing up his son.

-Other perks of higher patreon tiers include a personal message from a character of your choosing at the $25 tier and a personal thank you video from Harlan and Jo at the $50. I know of multiple people who paid at the $25 tier for months, a few who paid for a whole year at once, who didn't receive these rewards until they reached out and contacted Harlan themselves, months after they had paid for the tier. And they did have to be the ones to message Harlan, when it was brought to his attention that there were many people waiting for their rewards he didn't do any legwork himself to find out who's had never been fulfilled, which is extremely unprofessional.

-Everything up to now has just been the things I saw as a member of the server with access to the patreon channels. I'm friends with an ex-mod, and her getting kicked from the mod team was my sign to give up on the server and finally leave it. I hadn't posted anything in there in months, and I didn't make any sort of "im leaving" post, I just dipped. Apparently they keep track of who's left the server, because Harlan DM'd me saying he was sorry to see me go and he was there if I ever wanted to talk. When I didn't respond overnight, he followed up with "Well, if you ever want to hear my side of this thing with [former mod], I'll be here 🙂". I still don't understand what his intention was in messaging me, but I was curious so I engaged him in conversation and he sent me a screenshot of the message he had sent her explaining why she was being removed from the mod team. I just want to point out that I never asked to see any screenshot. When I asked if he had ever established mod expectations he tried to pass me off to another Invictus admin, despite the fact he was the one who contacted me and I was no longer a member of the server. I told him that he needed better boundaries in his interactions towards fans (or ex-fans in my case) and that there was no reason for him to have messaged me. Instead of apologizing or responding in any way, he simply blocked me.

I am aware of other things that have happened in the server since I left, but I don't want to share stories I haven't been given the ok to bring up or talk about things I've only heard about secondhand. I've been uncomfortable with the way Harlan publicly interacts with people for a long time now, and I kept quiet because I didn't want to start drama but at this point it feels irresponsible to not talk about it.

this anon says they saw a lot over the 2 years they were in the server, so I would like to say upfront that I don't know how much of that is things that have stopped and been addressed and how much has continued more recently.

some of these points seem more related to other aspects than the discord, like apparent issues with the Patreon supporter relationship side of things.

[familyabolisher]

re: annihilation im glad im not the only one who disliked it lol! ive struggled thru the second book as well bc people keep telling me the third is the best but. we'll see. id be curious abt ur thoughts & if you have similar critiques (lack of interiority for the mc for one, a lack of clarity on Whats Going On but not in a fun way imo but in a way that makes me really unsure what the Point of it all is, & (book 2) just. the most tedious mommy issues ive ever had to read thru) or if its something else entirely. no pressure tho! i just like hearing ur opinions on things.

tbh my immensely pedestrian answer is that i just couldn’t get on with the style at all—it felt very clumsy and, like, amateurish. i got the sense that vandermeer wanted to narrate The Horrors in a quotidian, somewhat clinical tone that established a discordance around an effort to record and empirically tackle something that resisted the boundaries of human language and communication, and i think a more skilled writer could have pulled that off to great effect; however, as it was, he neither leant far enough into that voice that the discordance could fully emerge & exert a significant enough narrative force to make the piece compelling, nor relaxed it enough to allow his language to play around with the lurid, macabre, paranatural setting. 

like, for example, i’ve just gone to a random page to give you some sense of what i mean.

This was really the only thing I discovered in him after his return: a deep and unending solitude, as if he had been granted a gift that he didn’t know what to do with. A gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him. But would it have killed me? That was the question that crept into my mind even as I stared into his eyes those last few times, willing myself to know his thoughts and failing. As I labored at my increasingly repetitive job, in a sterile lab, I kept thinking about Area X, and how I would never know what it was like without going there. No one could really tell me, and no account could possibly be a substitute. So several months after my husband died, I volunteered for an Area X expedition. A spouse of a former expedition member had never signed up before. I think they accepted me in part because they wanted to see if that connection might make a difference. I think they accepted me as an experiment. But then again, maybe from the start they expected me to sign up.

this is like … the first time we get a real, direct account of the biologist’s backstory. it’s like a speedrun of heterosexual our wives under the sea (also a bad book btw lol) and is supposed to pack a pretty hefty emotional punch, but it’s just … well, i mean. “a gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him.” like, the extract falls back on cliches; the prose lands in a very ‘safe’ register and feels a little afraid to push anywhere significantly outside of that. this is pretty representative of (what i read of) the whole book, tbh—and it stings especially when you have things like a mysterious tunnel-tower seemingly made of flesh that only the narrator can see that’s spawning fungi spelling out sentences as other characters in the novel start to die … like, that’s good, and that’s just really not being communicated on the page in any compelling manner. 

it felt as though vandermeer had established this fascinating world and then just failed to communicate any of it to any memorable standard. also, the pacing was all over the place, lol—like, take your time with it a little more, spend some time on setting and description! or if you want to lean into that clipped, clinical account, maybe experiment a little more with the texture that that could lend; like, journals, reports, the kind of temporal weirdness that those can generate (as is common in the gothic novel, for instance) … like, there were just a lot of ins where vandermeer could have negotiated a more interesting piece of work than what i was reading.

it just felt very, like—the word coming to mind for me is ‘timid.’ like the text found its own concepts a little too unwieldy and pared itself down into a very meek prose rather than rising to the challenge that its scaffolding presented. and as a result, i was just, like, bored and irritated trying to read it. i’m told that the film is very different so i might give that a go at some point, but i really couldn’t push through to the end of the book, lmao. maybe it’s worth reading for like the last 70 pages, but i’ll never know. sad! well there’s other genre fiction

[kath-artic]

im all mixed up right now and i feel so selfish

like outside of the whole 'still wanting this guy even though hes seeing someone now' thing, i feel so torn up and selfish because one of my closest friends is closer than id like her to be. i know the way i hurt people when they get close because i know myself and im not the kind of person that can devote myself to everyone around me 24/7. at least im not that person anymore. i had a really close friend in high school who i loved dearly and we talked about everything, but after a while he started saying we were exactly the same and treating me like a father figure and it shrunk me down in a way that made me uncomfortable, but i didnt know how to express that at the time because i didnt know how to be a person at that time. when i broke up with my last partner i cut ties with most people because i was so distraught and felt id lost my whole center of self, and this friend took that silence personally. to him it was abandonment, and i suppose it was selfish. i owed him an explanation. i know friendships arent meant to be easy and i was a coward for not confronting the situation after finding out that he felt that way. he cut me off because of it and im sorry i never apologized. i told myself i didnt want to have to justify the fact that i was suicidal, but that wasnt why i didnt give him an explanation. i didnt explain because i frankly was tired of being faced with a past version of myself who kept insisting we were the same. i was tired of being so close to something that held no mystery anymore. i didnt really want to go back when i was starting to find myself. it was a fucked up and cowardly thing to do and i shouldve been honest with him instead of continuing my silence. anyway, the point is i habe friends now who remind me of past versions of me. they dont say we're the same, but they seem to think they understand me completely even though i know they dont (and thats okay. i dont expect them to, i just wish they would be more open to the idea that there are parts of me they might not get instead of trying to squeeze me into a box of things they DO get). they also rely on me the same way. every decision is run past me, activities are only carried out if they involve me. one of my friends just started calling me their best friend and i wouldnt think much of it if they didnt make such a big deal out of being anxious about it and now its got ME anxious because clearly it means a lot to them and i knowwww the kind of space i need and the way ive disappointed those whove put me on this pedestal before. same friend just invited themselves to something im doing with another friend and now they keep texting me for details and i dont know what to do. i frankly dont really want them to come and its for no reason other than i see them too often and the plans i made were kind of special for me and the friend i made them with.

ugghhhh i just never know when im being an asshole. when establishing boundaries is me overstepping someone else's. how uncomfortable i should be willing to get for another person. i guess thats just the way it goes though. i dont know that theres such a thing as a right answer to this. i think sometimes people have boundaries and needs that are incompatible and sometimes we have to be willing to bend and other times we have to be willing not to push. thats why its important to know more than one person, you know? whats 'too far' for one person might not be for another

this is all besides the point. the problem is that for as brutally honest as i can be about certain things, im terrible at being honest about my own boundaries/needs. i didnt get with that guy because i didnt know how to be honest about the fact that i really liked him. i shouldve just said that i enjoyed our conversation instead of trying to play it cool or whatever dumb shit i did. and i lost one of my closest friends because i didnt tell him i needed more space. i owe it to this friend to be honest about that.

[leonsi]

seeing all these rottmnt/2012 crossovers bash on the 2012 bros’ relationship with each other is kiiindaaa upsetting as someone who’s uncomfortable with expressing and receiving overt affection

but hey what do i know i probablyy just have all toxic unhealthy relationships where we never understand each other and share mutual trust and love *twirls hair*

the 2012 bros may not openly express their love like the rottmnt boys do, but that doesnt mean its not there. and acting like the rottmnt relationships are automatically better and the only Right standard for healthy relationships seems pretty,, juvenile and inexperienced imo. love isnt only expressed through physical affection and saying things like “i love you,” openly, and assuming there is no love in a relationship without those things is… odd.

love is not only in words or hugs. the 2012 boys can love each other just as much as the rottmnt boys without being open about it. 2012 raph, especially, loves to show affection through acts of service, physical affection, and quality time, but he doesn’t like any of this to be commented on because it makes him uncomfortable. and thats okay! he doesn’t need to express affection openly to have it be there.

just as rottmnt donnie can express love and affection outside of hugs and words, so too can the 2012 boys. they all have their own unique ways of expressing love that the others all respect and recognize, and dismissing that feels less like it’s intentional, and more like the people writing these crossovers just don’t recognize alternate forms of expression exist. which, again,, reeks of inexperience.

( also semi-related tangent speaking of donnie he literally fucking . put a shock collar on his brother like he’s a dog in an attempt to change him. and brainwashed his brothers. and frequently puts his own wants and needs over their own - which is totally fine, if it didn’t happen all the time. it’s kinda laughable to say 2012 raph is worse than rottmnt donnie honestly

siblings hit each other. okay. siblings hit each other. i need y’all to recognize this. i will power drive my little brother into the floor over the last oreo. siblings hitting each other is not abusive (TYPICALLY) because there are established boundaries both parties abide by. like i will never touch my siblings if they are in a bad mood, trying to concentrate on something, or otherwise in a bad position (like standing somewhere dangerous, by a corner etc), and i will never intentionally hurt them. if i think they are actually hurt, we stop immediately until they tell me theyre fine. roughhousing with your siblings is fun. it is bonding. its a self-esteem booster to be able to pick up ur freshman brother okay.

the 2012 bros always abide by these rules. they never hurt each other beyond what the other party can handle, and if they do, it is very clearly treated as a bad thing by them or the other brothers so they realize they went over the line, and they resolve it by the end of the episode (as is the way of formulaic kids shows).

rottmnt donnie. put a fucking shock collar on his brother. and this is funny to him. and not something he ever learns from. and totally not weirdly sexual. But 2012 raph is the bad guy? ok )

i mean. i dont know what i expect from a fandom full of chronically online children who truly dont have experience with relationships. but it just really irks me for some reason and its currently one in the morning so im feeling whiny about it.

affection outside of words and hugs exists. affection outside of words and hugs exist!! and if you know that then you know that the 2012 boys love each other so so so much, just as much as rottmnt. just because they express it differently than in sanitized queer TV shows and not overtly, so you kinda have to pick up on nuance, doesnt mean they dont love each other. let people love other people in non-overt ways!

[jasontoddiefor]

you know people can oppose the death penalty in real life and also want the FICTIONAL catharsis of seeing a character who's been predatory to multiple women get killed, right?

Bestie, I understand catharsis writing, it’s my entire coping mechanism, and also not what my post was about.

Besides the fact that I wrote it as a frustrated ramble at 4-something-a.m. my post was specifically about why I think Batman as an already established character shouldn’t kill. And on top of that, how many people genuinely don’t seem to understand this is a boundary he set for himself and how frankly speaking upsetting it is that they speak so frivolously about it. Because very often you don’t hear “oh, the Joker made Batman/Bruce Wayne personally suffer so much, so Batman deserves to kill/hurt him” but “the Joker hurt X and I want Batman to do something about it”.

The post wasn’t even specifically about the Joker. You could make it about Ra’s or KGBeast or Scarecrow or Mad Hatter - they’ve all hurt people.

And yes, I understand the catharsis of seeing a representative of painful actions getting hurt/dying in turn. I win so hard at minority bingo, trust me, there are enough people I wish would experience the pain they inflict on me just once in their miserable fucking life.

But my post wasn’t about that kind of catharsis.

You know what my post was about? Respecting boundaries. Something that I also don’t experience too often. It was about boundaries specific to the genre that Batman as a character inhabits.

Perhaps using “none of you fuckers understand why the death penalty is bad” was an ill-fitting exaggeration on my 2 minute rage written tumblr post I didn’t expect to get more than a 100 notes from my mutuals who know my taste and takes on media, but tbh? If you look at the notes, the number of takes going “well Batman shouldn’t kill but the state—“ is kind of,,, weird too? Because again, Batman, as a fictional character in a very specific type of genre, believes I’m second, third, and fourth chances. Believes in telling even the Joker “you can get better if you try”. Believes that there shouldn’t be more killing, no matter how heavy the guilt.

And I find that very comforting.

So yeah, I am, in fact, very well aware of how what you want in fiction differs from what you believe in real life.

But im also very tired of people dragging Batman through the mud because he refuses to harm himself even more and believes that people can in fact get better even when they don’t believe it themselves, or don’t even want to.

I don’t need a hero who hurts everyone remotely bad in his vicinity. I want to read about a character who wants to save everyone, who believes everyone is worth saving.

So yeah, uh, genuinely, go read your catharsis Joker beat down fics if that helps you deal with whatever bullshit capitalism and the patriarchy throws at us today. Consume the media that makes you happy, just, don’t act as if there isn’t a point to Batman?

[coolest-in-chaldea]

Frankenstein (Berserker) Relationship Headcanons

I love Fran so much, and as someone who sometimes goes semi-verbal I love to imagine a relationship with her where you’re able to establish non-verbal communication ;-;

- Fran is definitely one of the gentler berserkers, but her creator traumatized tf out of her so it’s important to understand the things that upset her and establish what you can do to help in the event of a breakdown

- She’s capable of formulating basic words if someone can’t understand her, but it’s extremely draining and frustrating when she has to try to speak. She would appreciate it so so much if someone made an effort to understand her without making her speak, even if there’s still a communication barrier. Tbh the gesture itself would be very validating for her, since she struggles so much with being seen as less than human

- Establishing trust and expressing your appreciation for her would take some time, but I imagine her s/o would start by bringing her a flower every day, and eventually she leaves you a carefully crafted flower crown in front of your door. There’s no sign of who left this surprise gift for you, but upon closer inspection the flower you gave Fran yesterday is woven elegantly at the front of the crown where it’s still fresh petals form a beautiful centerpiece

- As a berserker, Fran can be pretty impulsive and often disregards all else when she sets her mind on something. Expect to be randomly dragged off to a flower field at least once a week. She means well, she just expresses her feelings predominantly through actions. If she pulls you away from a conversation or while you’re in the middle of doing something, she’ll stop if you ask her to, but please come find her when you’re done or she’ll think that she’s doing something wrong and get very upset with herself :(

- To say that Fran is touch starved would be a massive understatement, the only time anyone’s ever touched her was to cause her harm. At first, she recoils from touch entirely because she has only negative associations with it, but as she observes couples touching eachother, her greatest wish is still to find someone capable of loving her like that

- She tried to express that she wants physical affection, but the awful things her creator said to her weigh heavily on her mind, and it scares her..her servant class reflects her ‘monstrous’ self, and she’s terrified of hurting you! In her eyes her hands can only cause harm, so she desperately wants you to initiate things

- On the other hand, you respect her boundaries and you avoid touching her because she typically flinches away from touch. She’s grateful for the consideration, but as the misunderstanding continues she gets progressively more frustrated until she eventually just gets right in your face and....pats your head

- Tbh you probably have to stop yourself from laughing to avoid her taking it the wrong way, it’s just so bizarre but also hilariously adorable. It seems out of place to call her endearing, but her 50/50 mix of awkward and bold is just the brilliant Frankenstein charm™️

- Fran’s new favorite thing in the world is to be hugged/held by far. Anywhere, anytime she’s always absolutely overjoyed when you wrap your arms around her! Just make sure to approach her slowly and always approach from in front of her where she can she you..surprise hugs from behind startle her and her natural response to being startled as a servant is ‘IM UNDER ATTACK’

- She still grabs your hand a lot to show you things, get your attention or take you somewhere, but if you start doing the same to her it’ll make her really happy

- Fran’s primary form of communication is grunts, hums and growls, but I like to think she makes little happy noises too almost like an excited puppy :3

- I don’t think this is how her body actually works, but I’m so attached to the thought that you get a little shock, like when someone touches you with static, the first time you kiss her on the cheek..

- If you don’t brush her bangs out of her eyes or tuck her hair behind her ear what are you even doing with your life????

- Hand motions/signs aren’t really her thing but you show her how to make a heart with your hands and now she does it constantly

- If any flirty servants try to make a move on you she just kinda ominously lurks behind them like >:( until they stop

- If someone hurts you physically, they can say goodbye to their kneecaps. Fran becomes your personal guard dog

- If some hurts you emotionally, she is out for blood and someone has to immediately hide whoever did it while you try to calm her down until she settles for trying to comfort you. But from then on anytime you see that person she’s your extremely dedicated body guard. She’s not one to forgive and forget, especially if she thinks you forgave them too easily

- For your anniversary and valentine’s day, you both whip out a bouquet of flowers for the other person simultaneously, it’s really cute

- When talking to other people, refer to her as your girlfriend or partner please it makes her so freaking happy. It makes her feel human, and makes her feel complete, finally having gotten what her creator denied her and told her she’d never have

- If you ever run into Victor Frankenstein during a singularity, you’re throwing hands on sight. ‘Thanks for creating the best gf anyone could ask for, but I hope you rot in hell for everything you did to her’

- She still has pretty vivid nightmares, so she’d love nothing more than to share a room and bed with you, it makes her feel safe and secure. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, she can’t exactly tell you about her dreams, but it’s the same one every time and you know it all too well by now. Tbh just being there when she wakes up is usually enough to calm her. Having a physical reminder that you, a human who truly loves her, are still there reassures her that the dark days are all over now. Victor Frankenstein can’t hurt her anymore, and there’s nothing he can do to take you away from her. But most importantly, you’ve proved that he was wrong about her

[crash-cinematic-universe]

rumor has it

pairing: peter maximoff/reader

summary:  Idk if im doing it in the right one but whatever. Can you write a peter maximoff imagine where he has a girlfriend(reader) that has Allison Hargreeves powers from The Umbrella Academy - anon

warnings: none! peter is kind of Insecure but honestly when is he not

notes: this is a shor(er) and sweet one! it is 1 AM where i am so sorry if I missed some mistakes! im on the verge of collpase <3

taglist: @stranger-names @gooseyhouse @parkersdarling @amourtentiaa @toodles-me-doodles​ 

“I heard a rumor you stopped talking,” You groaned, watching as Peter’s lips went from a blur to a thin line. He slumped over, pouting at you with puppy dog eyes. You just stared back at him, your eyebrows furrowed and shoulders tense. As much as you loved Peter, he could be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

“Peter, look, I know you’re bored, but Hank really needs this motor fixed and I promised him it would be done by tomorrow. I need to work, but I can’t focus with you here, dollface, you know that,” You attempt to cheer him up, but he’s still looking upset. “The minute this essay is complete you’ll have me all to yourself, no distractions. My one-hundred percent, undivided attention,”

“How long will that take?” The rumor had worn off, but you didn’t mind. Peter looked at you, and the slight feeling of regret washed over you. He was just bored, and probably a little lonely. To be completely honest, this project would probably take you the rest of the day to complete, and probably the better part of tomorrow. It was a complicated motor, and even though you’re quite handy, this type of project is always a challenge. 

“The rest of today… probably a few hours tomorrow--” Peter sighed dejectedly and rested his chin on his arm. Disappointment was written across his face, and it seemed as if he was trying to hide it, albeit poorly. He understands that the work that you and Hank do is important, and he realizes that sometimes he can be a little overbearing, but lately you’ve been so busy he almost never gets to see you. 

“Can’t you just rumor Hank into forgetting about the motor for today?” Oh, you’ve definitely considered it. You take Peter’s face in your hands.

“You know I can’t, Peter,” He leans into your touch. It’s adorable. “It’s a violation of the trust and boundaries we established. Plus, he’ll probably get pissed at me and rip me in half,”

“He’d have to go through me, first,” Peter laughed softly. There’s something eating away at him, the gnawing feeling of worry tearing at his stomach. 

Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot. He hears the whispers in the hallways, he sees the way the students look at him when he’s with you. They all think you can do better. They’ve all placed bets to see how long you last before you kick him to the curb. You’d think being a hero would make him more popular, but no. Peter Maximoff is just as much of a loser now as he was in high school, X-Men be damned. 

So, yeah, Peter Maximoff isn’t an idiot, but he is a loser. He’s a loser in a mansion surrounded by people who aren’t losers-- more specifically, your socially anxious lab partner. Everyone expected you and Hank to eventually end up together; you were both science nerds, you both enjoyed relatively isolated events, and you both moved at the same pace. That’s probably why the entire mansion was shocked to its core when Peter wound up being your boyfriend. Of course, he loves you with everything he’s got, but there’s always that feeling of doubt settled over him. It was too much, it was all too much and he needed to get away. 

“Whatcha’ thinking about, gorgeous?” Peter got so lost in thought, he forgot about the situation at hand. 

“I-- ” He sounded uneasy. This is how everything unravels-- he gets too honest and scares you off. Peter didn’t pay attention in history class, but he’s pretty sure Rome fell because some old guy was insecure and drove his girlfriend away. “I just, uh, don’t really want to be alone right now.” Peter thought he sounded pathetic. You thought he sounded sweet. 

You looked down at the motor on your desk, the tiny screws and mechanical components jumping out at you like your desk was a pop-art installation. With a smile and a shrug, you pushed away the bits and pieces and stood up, pulling Peter up with you.

“Hank is just gonna have to suck it up and wait another day,” Peter grins as you pull him close. You collapse on your bed, and Peter quickly gets comfortable beside you. His head is resting against your shoulder, and his long arms are locked around you. He plays with your fingers, examining every mark and every scar with the focus of a brain surgeon going into work. Sometimes you wondered if Peter was just trying to memorize every single feature and every little detail that you had. He was.

“Y’know, your mutation is so cool,” Peter muses. You press a light kiss of his temple. “You can literally get anything you want. You could get anyone to do anything for you at any given moment. Everyone in the world is like a video game character to you; all you have to do is give a command and we follow it,”

“I guess it’s alright,” You shrug. 

“It’s amazing.” Peter’s fingers are drumming against your arms at an impossible speed, but you don’t mind. “You’re amazing.”

“You’re pretty cool, too,” The drumming comes to a sudden stop. The gentle rhythm of Peter’s breathing falters as well.

“Eh,” He mumbles. “Compared to everyone else, I’m pretty lame. Compared to you? I’m nothing more than a speck of dust in the galaxy that is you.”

“Aw, Peter, you don’t give yourself enough credit,” It makes you sad to hear him say negative things about himself, but that’s part of building confidence. Sometimes you just need to be proven wrong. 

“Remember when you saved the entire mansion when Cerebro exploded? Or that time you kicked ass on that space mission we went on? If I tried to rumor you into being cool, nothing would happen because you’re already pretty amazing.”

“You really think so?” Peter looks up at you, and something about the look in his eyes makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.

“I know so.” For now, that was enough. 

“Y’know, I heard a rumor that you loved me.” Peter jokes, glancing up at you. You look right back at him.

“That’s a beautiful rumor,” A smile grows on your face. Your companion seems content with that. “Funnily enough, I heard the same one about you.”

“Rumors travel on the devil’s radio,” Peter giggles. You wish you could put his laugh on a CD and keep it forever. 

“Who knew the devil was such a romantic?”

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Could you possibly elaborate on the tss polycule? It just seems so neat!! I’m in something resembling a similar relationship- more people, more qpr’s, but similar and hearing about similar relationship models is always fun!!

I absolutely can elaborate!! Considering that I’ve been working on a fanfiction with just that idea from my original post, it’s been rumbling around in my brain a lot lately. So! Without spoiling too much of that fic, here’s some bullet points:

*Patton and Logan have a queer-platonic marriage, because despite not subscribing to typical relationship dynamics they are /disgustingly/ domestic, so getting hitched was just like. yeah obviously, they have undeniable Husbands Energy.

*Janus and Patton, however, got married because Janus likes a spectacle and Patton wanted another husband/spouse (what is gender? Jan doesn’t know or care). They’re romantically involved though, so the dynamic is a lot different. 

*Janus and Logan’s relationship is [REDACTED]. no seriously they rly value their privacy, and neither of them are super big on PDA anyway, so not even the other sides know what’s going on with them. Sometimes they do mysteriously go M.I.A. for a few hours at the same time, tho.

*Patton and Remus were the last couple to get together, like well after the polycule had already been established. Remus was a little skeptical of Pat’s romantic interest in him at first- thought it was like, guilt or something- but they talked it out and... God are they gross together. Like cute, yeah, obviously, but they have... no boundaries... they r So Affectionate. 

*The first to get together, however, were Janus & Remus (queer-platonic) and Roman & Virgil (romantic) independently of each other. 

*After that it didn’t take long for Lo and Pat to form a qpr, and then after some Conversations Pat and Virgil got into one, too. It was all very sweet and everyone was surprisingly amenable to the situation.

*who woulda guessed that living with 5 other entities total in ridiculously close quarters for three decades made boundaries a little more fluid /s

*pat and virge spending more time together is how logan and roman finally figured their shit out and started dating, despite probably having had the hots for each other for Literal Years. 

*yea ree and jan were kinda doin their own thing for a while, till pat got a Big Crush on Janus (who, no surprise, felt the same).

*remus was like “oh we can have more? pog” and immediately resolved to make out with virgil

*Roman was Slightly Grumpy about that one but it didn’t become a huge issue or anything. He had to work thru some jealousy was all. 

*Janus has more tentative relationships with both Virgil and Roman later on, but they’re all really into each other and take their time getting over some... old issues... 

*you would not expect virgil and janus to be as soft with each other as they are. they insist that they are not but they are Lying, they spend an absurd amount of time looking after each other. 

*despite having a nebulous relationship janus and roman steadily become more and more unbearably romantic and grand-gesture-y. 

*Uhhh now im consulting my chart hang on-

*ok yeah the rest of the relationships are platonic. 

*lo and virge are rly close tho. not dating. just good buds.