#because the show is allergic to happiness i decided to write angst

[teliphone]

Love like a Fool

Summary: I shouldn’t known from the moment my heart felt more for Caitlyn, that it was a mistake. I thought love was supposed to be about taking risks and loving like a fool. I don’t want to regret anything, but I have to limit myself because she feels uneasy. Is it because of me? I must be lacking in many ways. I promised myself to get better. I need to prove to others that I can.  

Warning: Slight fluff then pure angst 

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman X Fem Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

-

The target moves back and forth in quick and uneven motion as a way to stimulate the movement of humans. I place the sniper rifle closer to my body. The cold metal pressed against my chest. I narrow my eyes at the target watching it jerk back and forth. I place my finger against the trigger as I start to steady my breathing. My heart rate begins to slow. The breeze in the air seems to be silent for a moment. My eyes quickly shift to focus on one target as it starts rolling toward the center of the scope. A loud bang comes from my gun as I press the trigger. The smell of gun smoke reaches my nose as the smoke rises from the nozzle. I lower the gun and tilt my body to examine the shot. A hole is evident on the target, but not where I was trying to aim. The bullet was several inches below the head of the target. I frown and feel disappointment arising from within. 

I want to be better and prove to others that I can take on tougher tasks. I’ve been assigned as an enforcer, stuck with the simple role of Piltover's council gatekeeper. I want to be part of the bigger action, specifically, to be part of Caitlyn’s team. 

I know I am capable, or at least… I hope I am. 

News spread that Caitlyn Kiramman has become a Sheriff and I couldn’t agree more. She is amazing at her job. I’ve secretly studied her in admiration. I saw her in action. She is stern and confident, but at the same time so graceful. She balances fear and love so well. Her facade never falls to others, but I sense there’s a softness in her gaze when she notices me. It’s a quick and small look, so I can’t put a finger on it. All I can do in response is smile back while feeling my cheeks heat up. 

“Practicing again?” A voice snaps me out of daydreaming. A recognizable British accent. Refined and poised. I turn my head to see Caitlyn standing with her arms crossed. I widen my eyes before saluting her. She has a soft grinning smirk on her lips. Her beautiful long blue hair falls over her shoulders. She’s in her work uniform, seemingly that she just finished a task. 

“Yes,” I quickly respond to her question. She chuckles shortly and walks over, eyeing the target. She stops next to me, a little closer than I expected and I feel my heart rate increase. My eyes quickly flicker at the curves of her body then back down the ground in respect. 

“You practice quite a lot,” She notes. This isn’t the first time I’ve bumped into her at the practice shooting area. It’s actually quite often. Caitlyn is strict with her studies and skills. She needs to do things perfectly right. It is not strange to find her at the shooting range after work hours. She has gotten used to seeing me there as well. She never said it, but I believe she likes how I’m willing to get better. She notices how other enforcers don’t practice as much.

I shyly run my hand on the back of my neck. Her eyes glance down to watch my reaction. I peek between my eyelashes and make eye contact with her. The closeness and eye contact make me unconsciously grip the gun. I quickly look back down to the ground. Examining the distance between our shoes. 

“I want to prove to others I can be good,” I finally admit. I didn’t want to reveal the part where I dream of being in her team. 

That would be too silly of a confession. 

She raises her eyebrows and pauses, deep in thought. The wind gently blows against my bare skin as silence coats the air. I feel anxiety increasing while she continues to stare at me, motionless and speechless. There’s a shift in her eyes, a shift that I don’t understand. 

Does she think I can’t be good? Is she too afraid to tell me the truth? 

Thoughts swirl in my head naturally. It’s a negative trait that I endure every day. My mind runs thousands of thoughts that can be entirely false. But I also believe certain voices are true, but I have yet to distinguish the two. I furrow my eyebrows and force myself to look away from her. I couldn’t bear to continue to theorize what her expression meant. I hear her shift her body to lean her body weight against the bullet-loading table. 

“I can help you,” She offers. I feel my heart stop pounding to make sure I didn’t hear her wrong. I jerk my head up with wide eyes. Caitlyn, the best sniper shooter, is going to help me. 

“Are you serious?” I hesitate. What did I do to deserve this special treatment from her? She simply nods and a few hair strands fall over her face. She smiles while brushing her bangs behind her ear. I am still speechless, not knowing what to do next. She figures and gently reaches for my gun. Her fingers curl around the handle, a few centimeters from my hand. She brings it up to my chest. I look at her in confusion yet again. 

“Show me how you aim,” She orders. I lick my lips and move quickly to action. I do not want to waste a single second of getting trained by her. I turn my body to the targets and lift the gun up. I lean my head down to look through the scope. Suddenly I feel Caitlyn move her body to locate behind me. Her fingers gently tilt the tip of the gun at a specific angle. Her other hand moves to my hip. Like a young girl in love, my heart pounds hard. I would also blame the fact that I am touched starved. Working as an enforcer limits the time I can spend romanticizing with others. People also avoid me. I am no one special, I like to believe. 

This is far from romantic. I know she doesn’t like me, but with her body heat pressing against me. I can’t help it. It’s quite embarrassing. 

“You should stand more straight,” She corrects. I shiver at the realization of how close her lips are to my ears. The distance sends chills down my body. No amount of daydreaming can make up for this moment. I shallow away my emotions and straighten my back. I feel myself press against her chest. 

“Slow down your heartbeat and breathing,” She chuckles. My cheeks start warming. 

“Sorry,” I squeak. She doesn’t respond, but instead continues to coach. She removes her hand from my hip and grips my shoulders. She reminds me to tighten my muscles and grip. Once she is satisfied with my position, she removes herself and stands back. I secretly let out a breath of relief. If she continued pressing her body against me, I wouldn't be able to perform accurately. That was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. 

“Now focus and calculate the timing,” She orders. I close my eyes to calm my breathing. When I feel my heartbeat going at a steady pace, I open my eyes. My sight completely focuses on the target. 

I need to get this right. I have to impress Caitlyn. 

My attention zooms into a specific target and I press into the trigger. Another loud bang echoes into the sky. I let out a shaky breath of anticipation. I immediately lower my gun to look at the target. I guess my hope was too high. The bullet hole was a few centimeters from the head. Better than before, but not perfect. 

Not perfect enough for Caitlyn. 

My shoulders slowly drop and I feel anxious thoughts creeping up again. I frown and look at her nervously. I don’t know what to expect. To my surprise, she seems sort of proud. 

“Good job,” She compliments. 

-

A couple of months of training have passed faster than I realize. I am surprised at how long she agreed to train me. No one else has gotten this special treatment. Even though there are times when she’s tired from a mission, she would still show up. As time went on it wasn't just training anymore. We would go out to eat dinner or a picnic on a sunny day. Not only have my skills increased, but my crush on her did as well. I spent too much time with her to not develop deeper feelings. I didn’t want to. I wanted things professional, just in case I ruined things. 

The more time we spent together, the more people talked about us. Baseless rumors begin to spread. I didn’t want to hear it, but people spoke loudly- as if I wasn’t there. They all picture me as someone who manipulated her way to Caitlyn. That I am nothing special. I have no rich or authoritative name for myself. No one knew who I was until I started involving myself with her. 

I thought these accusations would cause Caitlyn to stay away from me. She’s everything I’m not. After all, she has an image to keep. I do not want to stain it. 

But, she never stopped. 

Caitlyn started to teach me about combat. She wanted to enhance not only my shooting skills but my fighting as well.  

So here we are, standing on the mat with our fists up. I suck in a deep breath as sweat begins collecting on my neck. I feel a slight painful sore developing on my stomach from her punch that I failed to block. She gestures a finger at me to make the first move. I launch myself to her and she swiftly dodges and elbows my back. I grunt and stumble on my footing. I gather myself, not wanting to give up and turn to face her. Her eyes hint with glee when she notices a shift in my face. I clench my jaw and focus on her moves. Then I saw it. A small opening where I can tackle her. I rush forward, grabbing her arm. She lets out a gasp in surprise before I hurl her onto the ground. I quickly pin her onto the ground by locking my thighs around her wrist. 

I smiled brightly, my eyes sparkling. I finally did it. Her chest moves up and down quickly as she gets lost in my joy. She places her elbow onto the ground to support half her body up. I continued smiling, unaware of the plan she had in mind. 

She leans her head closer, testing the waters. Her lips linger over mine before she pulls back a little. Her heavy-lidded eyes gaze up. My smile begins to slowly drop in realization. I gulp and a blush appears on my cheeks. Her eyes flicker from my lips and back to my eyes. I hesitate, not knowing what to do, but I lean forward. Eager to capture her lips, but afraid to make the first move. She gently smiles, understanding my actions before closing the distance.

Her soft lips pressed against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fist.  She brings her hands up to touch my cheeks. Her thumbs draw a circle while her soft lips continue to move. I lean deeper into the kiss, wanting to permanently remember this moment forever. All my anxious thoughts seem to be silent just for a short moment. She is the first to pull away from the kiss. Leaning her forehead against mine. I place my hand over hers and smile. 

Caitlyn’s eyes suddenly become stern and she pulls her body away. My mind races in worry. I furrow my eyebrows while looking at her in confusion. 

“I’m sorry,” She apologizes. I shake my head slowly, trying to understand. 

Was the kiss a mistake? Did I do something wrong? 

“I…” I hesitate. I worry about my next words. I worried that she would push herself away if I said the wrong things. I wanted to confess my feelings, but I was afraid I would embarrass myself if she said it was a mistake. I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I feared she would think I didn’t feel anything. A part of me was so terrified that she did feel something for me, but the kiss awakened a realization in her. 

I never got the chance to gather my thoughts before she got up. I try to reach out and grab her wrist, but she hurries away. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll… see you sometime again,” She says before disappearing. I feel my eyes begin to water. My anxious thoughts may be right this time. As much as I try to think of a different conclusion, my negativity chokes up any other possible reasoning. 

-

Caitlyn avoided me. Every time she sees me walking by, she turns in the other direction. I try to force a smile. Understanding that she may be struggling with her thoughts. All I can do for her is to wait. I need to understand that I’m not enough for her. After several more days, I thought she had forgotten me. I went to my regular shooting range hoping to bump into her, but she never showed up. 

As I walk with my head down, I see a pair of shoes stop in front of me. I can immediately recognize her shoes. Caitlyn had blocked my walking pathway. I jerk back in surprise before examining her in confusion. Her eye circles are dark and her hair is messy. It seems like she has been lacking sleep. She licks her lips and plays with her fingers. I stand silent with a pounding heart, waiting for her to speak. She lets out a breath and I brace myself for the worst. 

“I’m sorry I avoided you,” She begins. I pause for a moment as her words sink. I summon my confidence by clenching my fist. My lips waver as I try to smile at her. I wasn’t actually happy, but I wanted to show her I appreciated her stepping up. I understand why she would want to avoid me. 

“It’s okay,” I answer, a little shaky for my liking. She glances around the hall as I assume she’s making sure no one else is around. A few people walk by, giving me an unexplainable stare. I tilt my head to the side to avoid people’s eyes. She then grabs my hand and tugs me along with her. I stumble on my footsteps to catch up with her. She pulls us into a dark room and slams the door. She breathes heavily, her chest moving up and down before turning to face me again. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. I can still see her figure with the small lamp in the corner. 

“I… I think I like you,” She confesses like the truth has been choking her to death. It's as if it’s a surprise that someone like her could be interested in someone like me. She stared at me with a scared expression like she didn’t fully understand herself. I feel my heart ache, but I force a smile again. 

She’s been struggling because of me. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but I realized I couldn’t say anything. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit. I shift my body weight uncomfortably. My hands come up to wrap themselves around me. A poor attempt to comfort myself. She pushes herself from the door and walks over to me. She hesitates a little, before reaching down to touch my hands. I stare at the way her fingers hold mine. She’s so gentle. 

“I want to try and love you,” She pauses, “but we have to do it in secret,” 

I tilt my head up to look at the sincerity in her eyes. I can tell she is worried. Wondering how people would view her if they found out she was meeting up with someone lowly like me. Debating if this reveal would hurt my feelings. It’s a little humorous that she doesn’t know the lengths I would go for her. 

I tightened my grip on her hands and tugged her a little closer. I examine the beauty that reflects off the orange light. She’s a beautiful woman worthy of respect and care. I remove one hand from her hold and place it on her cheeks. She leans into the touch, letting out a shaky breath. 

“I would do anything for you,” I confess like a fool in love. Her eyes dilate and she lets out a sigh of relief. Her shoulders relax as she finally smiles.

-

I never thought how much more I could fall for Caitlyn. I love her. I didn’t care about the hidden touches behind doors. The secret messages we pass. It was our love that I couldn’t regret. We completely ignore each other when passing by in the halls. Oh, how I wish I could shout to the world about her. Rumors between her and I have successfully died out. 

I wait patiently in my room, waiting for the skies to become darker so that Caitlyn can sneak her way over. I hear quiet quick knocks on the door. I stumble my way over and swing the door open. She stands with a shy smile on her face. I quickly grab her wrist and tug her in, slamming the door behind me. 

I pull her into a hug, soaking in her warmth and scent. She hugs back with the same amount of eagerness. We stay silent for a few more seconds before I pull away.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen, “I can start preparing-“ 

She calls my name, cutting me off. I stop in my tracks to look at her. She seems hesitant again, her eyes wavering. A look that brings me back to the day we stood in the dark room. 

“I have to tell you something,” She explains. She starts walking to the coach and I follow along. I sit down, my knees brushing against hers. She reaches over to touch my hand with a stern look. 

“I got put on a very important case,” She says. I widen my eyes and smile. 

“Well, that’s great news right?” I chirp. She lets out a nervous laugh. Her gaze averts to the side for a brief second. My smile begins to drop slightly. 

“It is… but I have to be gone for a year,” She reveals.

“A year?” I repeat slowly. My grip starts to loosen from her hold. I shouldn’t be scared, but there is a part of me that worries. So much can happen in a year. 

“It’s a mission to go to the undercity and-“

I start to zone out. Undercity? That place is filled with horror stories. No sane person dares to step foot in there. At least that was how I was taught by others. I can’t imagine myself letting Caitlyn go down there. It’s just not safe. 

She squeezes my hands and I look back at her. My face is mixed with many emotions. I should not stop her from doing her job, but I don’t want her gone for a year in Undercity. What if she gets hurt and I can’t find her? How can I make a decision when I am unsure of myself? 

“Can you wait for me?” She whispers. 

The decision has already been made. 

I squeeze my eyes shut as I turn my head to the side. I didn’t want her to see me cry. She places her hands on my cheeks and slowly turns me to face her. I feel the warmth of her hands. 

“…when do you leave?” I sniff. 

“Tomorrow morning,” She responds. Time seems to pause for a moment. I wish it stayed like that; so that I could stay by her side longer. Tomorrow? This is so soon and sudden. I searched in Caitlyn’s eyes to find some type of hesitation, but there was nothing. I force myself to smile as my heart feels crushed. Nothing is going to stop her, not even my feelings. I understand that feelings alone can’t dictate her decision, but I wish it was considered just a little bit more. 

Did she really care about how I would feel? Did I not cross her mind when she accepted the mission? Do I matter that little? 

All the anxious thoughts blew away when Caitlyn pulled me in for a hug. How foolish am I to disregard my hurt so fast for her? Love makes a person a fool. 

-

Five months have passed since Caitlyn left to go to the Undercity. I have gotten used to the feeling of being alone. This feeling is rather normal and something I am more familiar with. I still keep my duties of guarding the gates of the council building. Days and days of people not sparing me a second glance as they walk by. I sometimes wonder if they would even notice if I didn’t show up one day. 

I keep the house clean. Making sure Caitlyn’s extra clothes are tucked neatly in my closet, ready for the day she comes back. When I lay in bed, I close my eyes and place my hand on the side where she usually lays. I imagine she is next to me. Humming and running her fingers through my hair. I smile for a moment, then frown when I realize I’m daydreaming again. It’s awfully cold without her touch. 

11 months have passed and I feel impatient for her return. The picture I keep on the desk lacks dust by how many times I’ve touched it. Running my fingers across her face to remind myself of how soft her skin feels. My heart squeezes when I examine the bright smile that the camera captures. I gently place the picture down and lean my head against the cold surface of the desk. 

Just a little more. I can wait, just like how she asked me to do. A simple task. I can do it. 

-

1 year and 1 month has passed. Anxiety eats away my skin as I scratch the surface with my nails. The councils ordered a one-month expansion, just in case Caitlyn had something important to do before they sent out a search for her. The enforcers are starting to become worried at the lack of her appearance. 

The councils issue a meeting to form a team of three of the best enforcers. I stand by the door with a racing heart, listening to the councils talk amongst themselves. They list off the best enforcers on documents. The back of my neck starts to feel hot. My feet feel the urge to step forward. I must go to find my love. I find myself walking forward recklessly.

“I apologize for my unprofessional behavior, but please allow me to join the team,” My voice clashes and silences the room. I glance around to see the confused look on their faces. They had no idea I was there. 

“And who are you?” One of the council's questions. They rub their fingers together with an amused smile. I bow down to show my respect. I tell them my name and title, with a shaky voice. There’s another pause again, til I hear someone snicker. That causes a domino effect where they all start to laugh. I bite my bottom lip as an embarrassing blush forms on my cheeks. My eyes water, tears forming at the edge. I turn my head down to stare at the floor. They question me and my motives:

“I never even noticed her there,”

“What can a gatekeeper do?”

“I admire how much courage that little girl has,”

“Why are you so concerned?” Mrs. Kiramman’s question sounds the clearest among the others. I tilt my head up to look at her. The truth feels like acid in my throat. Caitlyn had asked me to keep our relationship a secret. I must keep the promise. It’s not like it was hard to do so. I fully understand now why Caitlyn wanted it that way. They don’t take me seriously. I am just a laughing stock at this moment. I can’t dirty her name. 

I lick my trembling lips and shake my head. 

“I-I just want to-”

“I’m sorry dear, but we have an important discussion to do. The fate of my daughter relies on someone who can actually save her. Return to your position,” Mrs. Kiramman orders. I choke back my words. The little courage I have left vanishes. I quickly bow once more before walking back to my place. They return back to their conversation as normal, while I fight back tears. The uniform feels hot and stuffy against my skin. I feel unworthy of wearing the enforcer gear. 

The moon appears bright in the sky as I sneak my way down the streets. I tug my hoodie closer to hide my face as I make my way to the Undercity. I am going to search for Caitlyn on my own. 

The air starts to become more dense. I have never been here before. I can feel my anxious heart beating rapidly. A few strangers study me as I walk by. I grip my jacket closer to my body, avoiding their eyes. My footsteps quicken with one solid plan in mind. 

Find Caitlyn. 

I didn’t care how reckless I was being. Walking into the Undercity with no solid plan. I can’t even confidently say I can protect myself. Anything can happen to me before I can even find her. 

After walking for several minutes I realized how big this city is. I can’t just simply bump into her. I desperately look around to find someone that looks the least threatening. The task was harder to do than I expected. Most of the people are drunk or hunching their bodies as they are ready to launch forward. I scan more until I find a young boy. Innocent eyes with a few dirt marks scuffed on his cheeks. I walk to him, trying not to scare him off. He seems hesitant at first before I take my hoodie off to show my face. His shoulders visually relax. I kneel down to eye level with him. 

“Hi, can you help me find someone?” I whisper. His eyes dart around then back to me. He doesn’t respond. I shuffle around in my pocket to find money. Once I pull it out his eyes brighten. He quickly nods his head in agreement. 

“Can you help me find Caitlyn Kiramman? She is about this tall,” I stand to gesture her height, “she has blue hair and a sharp nose,” 

I try my best to describe her to him. I hoped that the description was enough for him. Caitlyn doesn’t look like she belongs in the Undercity. It must be easy to locate her. 

The young boy ponders for a moment before his eyes brighten. He places his hand out and motions me to hand the cash. I place it on top of his hand and he quickly puts it in his pocket. He gestures to me to follow along, his little footsteps patter on the ground. It took about several minutes before he paused and pointed down the street. I tilt my head to examine the low-light street. 

“She’s there?-“ I ask, but the little boy has already run off. I softly chuckle before composing myself. My heart quickens and the sound of my breathing is loud due to how quiet the streets are. I stand still for a moment to evaluate the setting. That’s when I hear a gentle giggle. 

A giggle that sends a wave of crashing memories. My eyes begin to water as I hear the sound again. It’s Caitlyn. I am sure of it. I silently follow the sound. I hear another voice, but can’t make out who it could be. Maybe Caitlyn made a friend while she was staying here. The sound leads me to a tunnel with stairs. 

I hide beside the walls and peek up the tunnel. There in the middle of the stairs is Caitlyn with another woman. My eyes widen in joy. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I can’t contain my excitement. I found her! She’s alive and well! I open my mouth to excitedly shout her name, but quickly stop. 

Caitlyn places her hands on the woman’s hip, pulling her closer. She giggles again, biting the bottom of her lip. The woman sweetly smiles and leans her head closer. She kisses Caitlyn slowly, running her hands down her waist. 

Overwhelming sorrow sinks deep within me. My eyes become glossy, blurring my vision of them. My hand jerks up to grip my chest. It squeezes and pounds in pain. I never knew my heart could physically hurt. I gasp for air as I feel like I’m about to collapse. I lose my footing for a moment, sliding against the wall. I place a hand on the cold wall to hold myself.

I hear Caitlyn softly calling out my name in confusion. I quickly blink to clear my vision. Caitlyn walks down the stairs till she stands in front of me. She stares at me with a shocked expression. I feel myself forcing a stupid smile again. I squeeze my chest to numb the pain again. 

“…Hi,” I choke out. A failed attempt to sound happy. Her eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head.  

“What are you doing here?” She asks. I want to cry out laughing. How can she ask that question? It’s been longer than a year, did she lose track of time? Was she too busy? 

“Who is this?” The woman beside her asks. Caitlyn's eyes move back and forth anxiously. 

“…She’s just an enforcer,” Caitlyn reveals. I furrow my eyebrows in despair and disgust. I’m just an enforcer to her? 

Was all the lovely touches nothing to her? Did the day she cried on my lap mean nothing? Whose name did she moan out when I touched her? 

Without thinking I march up to her to push her. At least something to express my hurt, but the woman steps in front and shoves me hard. I slam against the wall and let out a small grunt. I already feel small and pathetic against her strength. 

“Wait, stop,” Caitlyn hurries to stop the woman. I peek up from my watery eyelashes, breathing heavily. 

“She’s lying,” I quietly laugh. The woman clenches her fist and walks up to me. She grabs a fistful of my jacket around my neck. I try clawing at her hands, but it was no use. She forces me to look at her. 

“Who are you?” She hisses again. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I would wipe it off, but my hand is wrapped around hers. I painfully smile again. 

“Her secret lover,” I choke out. I don’t have to keep it in anymore. The weight lifts off my shoulders. I had always wished the reveal was going to be for something better, nicer, and more beautiful. Yet we are here in the cold night air as I gasp for air. I take a peek at Caitlyn to see her face scrunch in guilt. The woman let go of me. I suck in a deep breath while sliding down to the ground. I grip my throat and tug the collar of my jacket away. I feel too suffocated by everything. 

I collect myself as much as I can before standing up again. I try to reach out and touch Caitlyn, but I pause and hesitate. My hands are shaking. I quickly bring it back to my chest to stop it from shaking so much. I lick my lips and look at her with pleading eyes. 

“I came to look for you,” I explain. 

“Why?” 

Why? 

“You were gone for more than a year! I was left wondering if you got hurt! I got worried,” I cry out. Caitlyn shifts her footing uncomfortably. She avoids my eyes by looking around. 

“Caitlyn…why are you being like this?” My voice cracks. The way she is treating me hurts so much. I don’t feel valued or special. As if… I’m just a nobody, just like how everyone else viewed me. I thought I was different to her. 

“Please talk to me!” I beg. A tear escaped from my eyes as I wept. I clench my chest to hold myself. She breathes heavily while her eyes dart around. She looks worried and guilty. 

“Was it because of her?” I direct it towards the woman, who scuffs in response. Caitlyn doesn’t reply. I take a step towards the woman, not understanding my actions. She clenches her jaw and rotates her wrist to get ready. Her eyes glisten against the street lights. Possession and challenge are evident on her face. I can tell she wants to fight me for Caitlyn. 

I am not backing down. I’ve trained hard for this. 

She swings her fist at me, but I dodge it. I launch my body to collapse her, but she wraps her arm around my waist. She elbows my back hard til I let go. She swings again and knocks the left side of my cheek. I stumble back and yelp in pain. I bring my hand up to cup my throbbing cheek. She is so quick and strong. With just one punch it sent me backward. I glare at her nervously. 

“Giving up so easily?” The woman laughs. I spit blood out my mouth and stand up again. She flickers her fingers to motion me forward. I swing my fist and she dodges, allowing her a clear shot at my stomach. I grunt and stumble back again. I gained my balance and I ran to her again, swinging recklessly. She punches my face near my nose. Pain shoots down my spine. I fall down and immediately grip my nose. Blood flows out and onto my hands. My chest moves up and down fast. I want to cry, but I choke it back when I look at Caitlyn. She stands with a worried look. She looks at me and the woman, pondering who she should care for more.

I need to prove I can be better. I need to show her I can protect her. I stumble to my feet, wiping my bloody nose with the back of my hand. 

The woman launches and lands a few punches on my face and stomach. I am gasping for air as I try to keep up. I try to swing to at least land one hit, but she easily dodges. Caitlyn watches me get beat up over and over. She looks away, clenching her eyes shut.

I failed her. 

I collapse onto the ground, choking out blood. Wheezing for air painfully. I knew I looked pitiful. Bruised, bloody, and crying. The woman looked untouched. I just embarrassed myself in front of Caitlyn. I try to get myself back up, but the pain pierces throughout my body. I stumble and fall again. I end up kneeling, my hands weak by my side. The woman tries to come to me again, but Caitlyn stops her by shoving her back. She begs her to stop hitting me. 

No, it shouldn’t have been this way. I needed to win to get her back. She can’t be the one begging for mercy. I had to be the winner. I can… 

I look down and watch my warm blood drip down onto the ground. Realization settles in my stubborn mind. 

I can’t protect her with these weak skills. I lost. 

Caitlyn's eyes shift and darken. She grips her fist and glares at me. She is angry that I am trying so hard to win her. That I allow myself to get beat up so badly knowing I can’t win- a fool so in love with her. I look up through my puffy and bloody eyes. I smile, feeling my lips crack open. 

“I’m sorry,” I wept. She forces herself to look away as tears roll down her face. Words continue to pour out from my lips. 

“I’m sorry I am not strong enough.

I’m sorry if… I ever embarrassed you.

I understand why you wanted us to be a secret… why you left and found someone who can protect you. 

I tried so hard to prove myself, but what’s the point anymore… I just simply can’t. 

People are right about me. They always were… and deep inside you knew it.” 

Tears continually roll down my cheeks. I could no longer fake a smile anymore. How can I put on a facade when I am evidently broken and weak? I bring my hands to my heart. An attempt to shield and comfort myself. My body shakes as I cry. I can’t blame her for hurting me. My understanding and naive heart is a curse made to ruin me. I loved too much and recklessly. It’s my fault.

Caitlyn brings a hand up to her mouth to silence her cries. She shakes her head. Millions of emotions crash in her mind, but she can't speak it out. It’s too late. She can not undo the mistakes she has made. 

The damage had already been made the moment she laid eyes on you. 

[made-ofmemories]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @jesuiscenseedormir

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

16

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

153,084

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively writing for 9-1-1 at the moment. Have written for many others in the past.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

All of these are 911 + Buddie or background Buddie

You can feel it on the way home (You are in love) || words: 23k || T || Buck moves in with Eddie after the loft is destroyed

I built a home (for you, for me) || words: 6k || T || Eddie shows up to work wearing one of Buck's shirts. Assumptions are made and revelations are had.

Just go with it || words: 9k || T || the 5 times someone thinks Buck is Chris' dad + the 1 time it's official

What's up with A shift || words: 3k || T || A shift knows no peace. B shift live in fear of the day they have to cover for them.

Feels like home || words: 1.5k || G || In which Buck stays for dinner, Eddie decides to be brave, and Chris just wants to do his homework in peace.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm allergic to sad endings so I don't really have any, but I'd probably say Eddie is in the room, just because of the nature of that fic but it still has a somewhat happy hopeful ending it's just closer to angst than anything else I've written

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I'd probably say Just go with it, because the entire last segment of that one is very domestic bliss kinda vibes

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't so far

9. Do you write smut?

No, I'm not against it I just prefer writing other things and haven't written a fic where it felt necessary

10. Craziest crossover?

Marvel, The Walking Dead and Supernatural for a crack fic exchange I used to do with my friends every Christmas

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once years ago but by the time I was alerted, it had been dealt with

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'm open to it

13. Have you co-written a fic before?

Yeah I write with @ladydorian05 all the time!

14. All time favorite ship?

Favorite at the moment is Buddie but I don't know what my favorite of all time is, it changes too much

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will

I have a tendency to go back to stuff after months of ignoring it so I'm never really sure. I also have a lot of stuff I know I won't finish but don't really want to right now either I'd say the one I'm having the most trouble with right now is a 5+1 of the 5 times the 118 bet on Buck and Eddie getting together + the 1 time someone wins the bet just because I feel like there's lots of ways for it to go wrong and I keep overthinking it. I also have a fic about Buck, Bobby and Chris at the zoo that I'd love to finish but I never have any ideas to flesh it out with so I never write it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fluff. Probably fluff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue, correct punctuation and I also tend to be very overdramatic and cheesy especially if I'm writing angst

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language

Love it but I try to avoid it unless I'm working with someone who is fluent in said language

19. First fandom you wrote for

Supernatural probably but I don't remember exactly

20. Favorite fic you've written

An unlikely friend from the Eddie Diaz and the Universal Cat Distribution system series It was purely self indulgent and I really had a lot of fun writing it, I also enjoyed the process of trying to write something that took place alongside canon for the majority of the time

Tagging: @loveyouanyway @nmcggg @ladydorian05 @inell @agirllovespancakes

[sarilolla]

Reasons why I love Bugsnax cuz I need to talk about this game which has now consumed me completely (there’s some spoilers here and there, as I’m just writing down stuff I can think about at the moment)

All the characters are neat, and are so fun to interact with-

Considering the situation they are in, I think how they all interact with each other is very realistic, which I love. Like, there are friendships and cute romantic relationships, but there are also not so good relationships that aren't toxic but still make for a good dynamic within the group

All the character designs (both grumpus and bugsnax) are peak marketable plushie designs (I want the Bunger and Strabby plushie so badly)

The bugsnax are so silly :) They are just kinda bug, kinda snax :)

The Bugsnax reminds me of Pokémon, except you don’t make them fight, you just feed them to your friends- Like, how they say their own names, some are harder to catch than others, and just the look and vibes of them

There are multiple lgbtq characters, but not forced or marked-like. They are just there, like it's completely normal, which makes me so happy (Like Floofty is disliked by practically everyone, but no one misgenders them, which means it’s just… normal)

Bunger bunger bunger :D

The names of everyone are so fun, from just misspelled normal names to straight-up muppet-esque names (Triffany - Tiffany, Elizabert - Elizabeth) (Wambus, Gramble, Floofty)

If I had a nickel for the amount of times I got emotionally attached to the one “good” parasite who have the name combo of “S_out”, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice. (Sprout aka the buggyball from Bugsnax, and Scout from hello puppets)

I love the Bugsnax, especially the strabbies, they’re so silly :)

The lore is so good and fun, and I might have just been on a “oooo fun game” high, but I didn’t really catch any plot holes or plot lines I heavily disliked, so it’s good :)

Then again, it does have some darker themes, already showing before the ending, and it’s a good ending no matter, story wise (I did not nor will I ever have the guts to get the bad endings tho, like no, that would hurt too much)

Also if you get the ✨secrets✨, it looks like it could ramp up to a sequel, which I absolutely want

The journalist aka the player character, is very much a self-insert type protagonist, but they’re also not just a reflection of the player. Like their little notes and drawings for quests and such are so fun and cute (also for the people who decided that the most common name for the journalist is “Buddy”, I love you /p /hj (no hate to other journalist names of course, I just like Buddy))

The fact that the player also is allergic to Bugsnax is so fascinating to me, like we survive of sauces, but feed everyone else (technically not including Shelda and Gramble, but they can both eat Bugsnax, just have other reasons why they don’t). It works so well with angst, cuz on the island we have the journalist who can become sick after a while but still trudges on, and after the island, well, there’s definitely some guilt there from feeding everyone

I dunno why, but I love the idea of banjo-pop music, and I would like to thank Wiggle for introducing me to it

I also love Broken Tooth island just showing up, like it really shows there’s something weird about the Bugsnax islands (both Snaxtooth and Broken tooth). Not to mention how weird Snaxtooth is, with hot desert almost bordering frozen solid mountain

Snaxtooth is really an adventurer’s dream come true, which is why it humors me so much that some of the grumpus who joined the expedition are just… normal people. Who just joined, like for a vacation??? It’s funny

I managed to get all the achievements which I’m very proud of myself for managing :) I also have done all mail requests, and that’s just because of the wonderful people who made a guide for how to catch 5 different Bugsnax in 60 seconds or 10 Bugsnax in 90 seconds

Over all? Silly game which definitely also deserves its psychological horror tag, but I adore it

I leave you with this really lazy edit of my favorite parasites /hj

[wkemeup]

9k Challenge Master List

Thank you to those who participated! Under the cut, you'll find the links to those who joined this writing challenge and the prompts they selected. This challenge is open ended, so feel free to participate whenever! All prompts will still be listed whether they were used or not.

If you choose to post after due date (May 29 2021) and would like to be added to the master list, please send me a message!

fluff prompts

✿ Character A initiates a prank war against Character B. Character B enlists Character C to help get revenge. 

✿ Character A accidentally ends a phone call to Character B with “I love you”  

✿ The moment Character A realizes they love Character B and it’s during the most simple, mundane moment ➝ Pancakes - @whatrambles ➝ Night Changes - @spideyspeaches

✿ Character A reaches out to wipe away something at the edge of Character B’s lip and their thumb lingers longer than intended. Slowly, they lift their gaze to meet [B]’s. They suddenly realize how quiet it is.  

✿ Character A steps out of the elevator carrying paperwork piled up above their eyesight only to run directly into Character B. Papers go flying. Hands touch as they pick up the last folder. ➝ Southpaw - @gogolucky13

✿ Character A is feeling insecure about how they look. When Character B asks what’s wrong, [A] attempts to explain but [B] is genuinely confused because they can’t imagine a world in which [A] is anything but perfect. ➝ Little Black Dress - @thefallenbibliophilequote

✿ Character A leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on Character B’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [B]’s phone.   ➝ Started from a Call - @buckyswillow ➝ Drunken Confessions - @brooklyns-supersoldiers

✿ Character A finds out Character B was stood up on a date. [A] is determined to show [B] what a real first date should look like.   ➝ A Real First Date - @cxddlyash

✿ Character A runs a flower shop downtown. Character B is terribly allergic to flowers.

✿ Character A calls Character B in the middle of the night crying - something they’ve never done before. They’re several states away. [B] gets in the car without hesitation and drives to wherever they are. ➝ A Long Ways Away - @ai-unknown ➝ Just A Phone Call Away - @strwbrrybucky ➝ I’m here - @stanofsebstan ➝ Never too far from you - @cherryblossomskye

angst (with a happy ending 🤞🏻) prompts

✮ Character A cleans Character B’s wounds after a rough mission. [A]’s fingers linger over scarred muscle as they finish wrapping the bandage.   ➝ Deadweight - @loving-bucky-is-easier ➝ Deeper Wounds - @cunaeparker ➝ More Ways Than One - @xbuchananbarnes ➝ Southpaw - @gogolucky13 ➝ Iubirea Mea - @picturetoburnnn ➝ Grey - @valkyries-wings ➝ as long as we have each other - @jbuchanan-barnes ➝ Heart of the Night - @lailannajacobs

✮ Character A is the target of harassment on the street. Shamed, they pretend it doesn’t bother them. Until it happens in the presence of Character B, who reigns hell on whoever dared to upset [A] ➝ The Dock - @5-seconds-of-bucky ➝ Deserving - @hannoelle

✮ The moment Character A realizes they love Character B and it’s during the most dangerous, inconvenient moment

✮ Character A is being held hostage. Character B offers to trade themself in [A]’s place.   ➝ The Weeping - @thefanbasewhore

✮ Character A is royally pissed off at Character B for being reckless on a mission. They don’t realize until after that amongst the screaming match, [A] confessed that they loved [B]. ➝ I care for you - @dovemouth

✮ Character A’s current boyfriend/girlfriend/partner mocks Character B for their crush on their best friend, [A]. [B], feeling humiliated, withdraws from the friendship with [A], who is completely oblivious [B] has feelings for them. ➝ Sparklin Eyes - @19ana45

✮ Believing they’re about to die, Character A confesses their feelings for Character B before they pass out.  ➝ Guiding Light - @bemysugarbean ➝ A Matter of Time - @hannoelle ➝ Let Me Join The Stars & part 2- @bucksgoat

✮ Character A has a nightmare that ends up physically harming Character B. [A] refuses to sleep in the same room as [B] again in fear of it happening again.   ➝ Guilt Doesn’t Suit You - @itsamarvelfan3000

✮ Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].   ➝ Prisoner - @watchmegetobsessed

✮ Character A is studying a fresh, nasty scar in the mirror. Character B approaches from behind, eyes drawn to the wound, an unreadable mix of anger and fear in their eyes as they say, “who did this to you?”   ➝ Straight Through the Heart - @loving-bucky-is-easier

kas’ favorite artists prompts

Dermot Kennedy – The Killer Was A Coward See there’s a hero in the crowd / and his heart starts beating loud / Says the killer took his friend / And decides that this is where it ends

Pheobe Bridgers – Chinese Satellite I’ve been running around in circles / Pretending to be myself / Why would somebody do this on purpose / When they could do something else?

Taylor Swift – This Is Me Trying I’ve been having a hard time adjusting / I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting / I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back / I have a lot of regrets about that

Hozier – Better Love And I’ve never loved a darker blue / than the darkness I have known in you, honed in you ➝ Romania - @callmeluna ➝ White Wolf - @angrybirdcr

The 1975 – Me & You Together Song I’ve been in love with her for ages / And I can’t seem to get it right / I fell in love with her in stages / My whole life ➝ you fracture light again - @divine-mistake

Bleachers – Wake Me If you’re lonely lonely lonely wake me / I can’t believe I captured your heart

The Lumineers – Life in the City And if the sun don't shine on me today / And if the subways flood and bridges break / Will you just lay down and dig your grave? / Or will you rail against your dying day? ➝ Brooklyn Honey - @sanguineterrain

Mumford and Sons – Delta When it feels like nothing else matters / Will you put your arms around me?

[eberles]

Memories

Jamie Oleksiak

Request: Hello!:) Can you write something (super) sad with Jamie Oleksiak? I don’t have a specific idea in my mind so I’d like to leave it up to you completely if that’s okay 💕

A/N: officially the longest thing i’ve ever written coming in at 5300 words!! based this fic off of The Vow, so it’s sad but not like sad sad. i hope you enjoy it i feel like this is one of my best works so hopefully you guys think so too! 🥰 italics = flashback

Warnings: angst, sad, mentions of car accidents & hospitals

Every Friday you and Jamie had a date night, it was the one night a week the two of you could wind down with each other and you never missed it unless Jamie was on a roadie. This Friday you guys went to your favorite restaurant and saw a movie after, the movie was some stupid romantic comedy and in all it’s cheesy glory it had the two of you laughing all the way to the car after the movie. It was a fairly hot night in Dallas, both you and Jamie wearing shorts and light t-shirts, walking back to the car hand in hand at around 11 PM. 

“AC, I need the AC.” you groaned, buckling your seatbelt, not even in the car for a whole minute before complaining about the horrible heat. 

“Don’t pressure her, it takes a few minutes.” Jamie spoke, softly patting the steering wheel as if to give the car some comfort after your harsh tone towards “her.” You laughed, putting up your hands in surrender as Jamie buckled his seatbelt and began pulling out of the parking lot and onto the main road. It was fairly quiet tonight in Dallas not many cars on the road, so you and Jamie decided to have some fun and sing along to the radio at full blast not having a care in the world. Pulling up to a stop sign, you looked around before turning the music down and undoing your seatbelt, smirking at your husband in the driver's seat. 

“You know, i’ve always wanted to get knocked up in a car.” you whispered as seductively as possible, Jamie smiling at you, his eyes going wide once he realized, and you took no time to lean over the center console and press your lips against his. Tonight was supposed to be like every other Friday night, dinner, movie, sex, it sounded simple, but it was truthfully all you wanted and everything you looked forward to during the week. Tonight ended differently than your other Friday night dates, only a few seconds into kissing and there wasn’t anything to stop what happened next. You never predicted for your once blissfully in love moment to be completely ruined within a matter of seconds. You couldn’t have predicted the drunk driver speeding up behind you and shoving your car full force through the intersection. Yet it happened. With your seatbelt undone the collision caused you to go right through the front windshield, your head suffering most of the damages as you landed on the hood unconscious.

Everyone’s life was based on moments and how one decision you make could impact you for the rest of your life, no matter how big or small. Jamie felt that meeting you was one of life’s greatest joys, he knew the second he saw you that you were meant to be, that you were his one true love. Jamie used the one opportunity he was given to talk to you and he knew it would change his life forever. 

-4 years ago-

Jamie couldn’t stop staring at the back of your head from a few feet away from you in line at his favorite coffee shop. You paid the barista and said “thank you” before turning around with your drink and walking passed Jamie, stopping at the door briefly to turn and look back at him realizing that he was already looking at you with a small smirk. You gave him a smile and continued out the door and made it the short distance to where your car was parked. 

“Ugh!” you groaned, turning around almost bumping into Jamie who came walking up behind you with a small bag in his hand. 

“You forgot your bagel.” Jamie smiled, handing you the bag feeling giddy inside that he was given the opportunity to talk to you. 

“Thank you, you’d think I would remember my breakfast after spending 20 minutes waiting for it.” you laughed, looking up at his broad figure just now noticing how tall he really is. 

“Yea, it’s what i’m here for.” Jamie said, mentally face palming at the corny line he just gave you. 

“Um, i’m Y/N.” you reached your hand out to him, and noticed a small blush on his face. 

“Jamie.” he shook your hand, both of you laughing awkwardly and pulling away from each other.

“Well, thank you for this.” you said, opening your car door handle.

“You know, um, I noticed that we have the same coffee order.” Jamie mumbled, and you turned back to look at him, a smirk showing on your face. 

“Is that so?” 

“Yup.” Jamie nodded his head, as if to confirm it and you could already feel the butterflies bubbling in your stomach. 

“How intimate.” you giggled, keeping your eyes on his and noticing how the squint when he smiles.

“I was thinking, we should drink our coffees together. You know, to create a bond over our joint tastes...in coffee.” Jamie said, looking down at you and giving his award winning smile. You agreed closing your car door, the two of you walking back into Weekend Coffee together. You grabbed a table while Jamie ordered his coffee and pastry, coming back to the table and telling you he swears by their pastries. It took Jamie all of about 5 minutes to fall in love with you and you with him. The next few months were spent getting to know each other and falling for each other's quirks and habits. 

Jamie woke up in the hospital with virtually no injuries having to listen to the doctor explain to him that his wife was in a medically induced coma. He sat by your side as often as he could and made sure to place your wedding band on your finger where it belongs. Jamie replayed the significant moments in your relationship in his head while he sat by you. 

“Babe, you can’t keep doing that.” Jamie walked outside to where you were crouched over a grey cat giving him some food to eat. 

“I know, but I love him.” you frowned, going back inside his apartment.

“I can’t keep him though, I'm allergic.” Jamie mentioned, and you knew that already, but the poor cat having to stay outside in the heat made your heart ache. 

“Do you want some fruit? I bought it this morning.” you pulled the bowl of fresh fruit out of Jamie’s refrigerator and looked at him while he just smiled at you. Jamie, in those moments, confirmed the thoughts he’d been having for a while now. “What?”

“I want you to move in.” Jamie continued looking at you as he flipped the pancakes he was making for breakfast and you gasped.

“Yes!” you put the fruit down on the counter, coming up behind Jamie and pulling him away from the stove to give him a kiss. 

Jamie smiled at the memory, and looked over at you with a tear in his eye. You had a tube down your throat connected to a ventilator to help you breathe and he couldn’t get over the sight. He blinked back the tears and put his head in his hands thinking about your wedding. 

“I vow to always love you, and always try the new pastry flavors at the cafe, no matter how weird they may be.” you said looking up into Jamie’s eyes, making him and both your friends laugh at your vow to him. 

“You wrote your vows on a Weekend Coffee menu?” Jamie asked, noticing the paper in your hand and you smiled shyly holding it up over your face. Jamie held the same menu up with his vows on it and you both laughed in shock. “Okay, I vow to love every bit of you, now and forever. I promise that no matter what gets in our way, we will always find our way back to each other.” Jamie said, promising his love to you in every way as long as you were both alive. 

“Do you take each other as man and wife?” 

“I do.” Jamie said proudly, a wide smile covering his face.

“I do.” you smiled just as big, letting a happy laugh leave your throat as you said it. The wedding was small, just having Jamie’s bestest friends there who grew to be your friends as well over the years and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

A few days later you started breathing on your own so the doctors removed you from the ventilator and told Jamie you should be waking up soon and you did. The nurse told Jamie to give you some space when you woke up, knowing that you wouldn’t be fully coherent and probably scared.

“Hey.” Jamie whispered from the end of your hospital bed, seeing the eyes he fell in love with finally flutter open. You looked around the room feeling confused and avoiding eye contact with Jamie. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital, you were in a car accident, you suffered from some head injuries, but you’re okay.” the nurse explained in a soothing tone.

“Was anyone else hurt, doctor?” you asked softy, looking directly at Jamie and feeling uncomfortable under his confused gaze. 

“What?” Jamie whispered, feeling his voice about to give out. “Y/N, you know who I am right?”

“You’re my doctor.” you stated, and watched as the man in front of you looked at the nurse and back at you before coming to sit in the chair beside you.

“Um, i’m your husband.” Jamie said, reaching for your hand and feeling his heart break when you pulled away from him holding a scared expression on your face. You glanced down at your left hand gasping when you noticed the wedding ring. Jamie walked out of your hospital room with the nurse feeling frustrated as she explained how brain injuries were hard to diagnose because of how unpredictable the brain is. 

“She doesn’t remember me!” Jamie said frustratedly, pulling at the ends of his hair. 

“The swelling in the brain can cause confusion and memory loss sometimes, but it’s normal.” the nurse explained, watching Jamie walk down the hallway of the hospital with tears in his eyes. 

Jamie went home to pack a bag for you and came back to the hospital later that night. He fell asleep laying on a few of the chairs in the waiting room and was woken up by you tapping his shoulder lightly. 

“Hi.” Jamie said sitting up, his voice gravely from the short slumber he was in.

“What are you doing?” you asked, wrapping your hospital robe tighter around your body.

“Sleeping.” Jamie yawned, and you smiled awkwardly before nodding your head. Jamie grabbed the bag he packed for you and moved it closer to you. “I brought you some clothes.”

“Thanks.” you spoke, sitting on one of the chairs next to him. “I’m hungry.” 

“Okay.” Jamie laughed, grabbing your bag and walking with you to the hospital cafeteria. Jamie explained to you that you were a painter and had your own studio and you were shocked to find out you didn’t follow through with going to med school. 

“I remember being in med school and...being engaged to Samuel.” you said, noticing how Jamie put his head down a little. “I just, I don’t know.” you got up from your seat in the cafeteria heading up the stairs hearing Jamie run after you.

“Babe, babe, just wait!” Jamie called after you and you tensed hearing the pet name he used, but stopped on the stairs turning to look at him.

“The best thing you can do is to go back to your life, with me. You heard what the doctor said.” Jamie said, putting emphasis on the word “best.”

“But I don’t know you. So what? I’m just supposed to go back to a stranger's place.”

“It’s our place.” 

“There’s no proof of our love? A journal?” you asked, feeling helpless. Of course, you wanted to believe Jamie was your husband for the right reasons and that you were in love with him, but it was so hard for you. 

The next day you got ready to leave with your parents not feeling like going home with Jamie was even an option at this point. 

“Wait hold on, I have a letter you sent when I was away.” Jamie ran into your room, holding up his phone. “You said you wanted proof.”

Hey baby,

I’m at the studio right now and I miss you so bad these paintings are starting to look like you. I’m sending you a letter because I thought it would be a fun surprise for you on your roadie. I hope it actually makes it to you. Anyways, I love you and I can’t wait to see you when you come home next week.

Love you always,

Y/N

“Just think about it, you quit med school, you pursued being an artist, you moved to Dallas. These are all things you did way before meeting me, you know it to yourself to at least experience the life you set up for yourself.” Jamie said, grabbing onto your hands and pouring his heart into those few sentences. “Come home with me.” 

“I guess I could try it out, to see if it will help my memory. If it doesn’t work out, i’ll come home.” you turned to look at your parents as you spoke and your parents understood. They loved Jamie and just wanted the best for you. You drove home with Jamie taking everything from Dallas in on your ride from the hospital. You spent the night looking around your shared apartment at the pictures and smelling the perfumes you had on your vanity. Nothing felt familiar when you went to sleep alone, Jamie sleeping on the living room couch. 

When you woke up you took a shower and came out disturbed to find out you had a tattoo of a bird on your shoulder, and changed into an oversized sweatshirt before going into the kitchen area where Jamie was.

“You look nice.” Jamie said, smirking slightly, taking in your interesting clothing choices.

“Really? This is the only thing of mine I feel comfortable in.” you said, hugging the material around your body awkwardly. 

“That’s mine actually.” Jamie laughed, pointing to the Stars logo on the front and you laughed while apologizing and he assured you it was okay that you wear it. Jamie went to practice and you managed to find the video of your wedding chuckling at your corny vows and tears up at Jamie’s. You noticed the name of the cafe on the menus and decided to go there for the afternoon. 

The next few weeks went by as seamlessly as they could when you’re suffering from amnesia. You and Jamie made small talk in the mornings and at night before retreating to your own beds. Nothing felt normal for you, but you were trying everyday to discover new things around the apartment that might jog your memory while Jamie was at practice. Today you were feeling curious about your old life and Samuel and how things ended between the two of you when you remember being so blissfully in love with him. You called your mom and asked where he worked so you could visit him and although she was hesitant on telling you she eventually gave you the information. You took a short bus ride to locate his office building that he worked at and asked the receptionist to show you where his office is. 

“Hi.” you said walking into his office, smiling widely when he turned to look at you and you realized he hadn’t changed a bit. 

“Y/N.” Samuel said, shocked to see you standing in his office after no many years apart. You explained to him what happened with the car accident and how the last thing you remember is being with him. 

“Can you please explain what happened with us?” you asked, shifting in your seat across from him in his office. 

“Only you would dump a guy and then come back and ask for answers.” Samuel said, fidgeting with the pen on his desk. “A cruel, pre wedding dumping.” 

“Why?” you asked, genuinely confused not fathoming why you would call off your wedding to the guy sitting in front of you.

“You just changed. You weren’t sure about med school anymore, and you really weren’t sure about me.” Samuel explained. “It’s okay though, i’ve been with Rose for about a year now.”

“Right.” you shook your head slightly disappointed that the guy you last remember loving had moved on from you. 

“I couldn’t wait forever, Y/N.” you nodded your head agreeing with him and stood up to leave. 

“I’ll let you get back to work.” you said, both of you going in for a hug, something you hadn’t felt in ages. Feeling Samuel’s arms wrap around your waist made you pull back to look at him before leaning in to kiss him with your hands cupping his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” you said, pulling away and walking out the door. 

The next day you woke up ready to explore a different part of your new life that you hadn’t yet understood. The artist side. The last time you wanted to be an artist you were in high school so owning your own studio and actually selling paintings to people was one of the biggest things you had to wrap your mind around. 

“I’m ready to see the studio.” you said at breakfast with Jamie, hoping he would take you there and show you around. 

“Yea? Alright! We’ll go after this.” Jamie said excitedly, ready to show you a huge part of who you were. It was a short walk from your apartment so after breakfast the two of you went there and Jamie unlocked the doors for you. 

“This is it.” he said, opening the door and letting you inside first to take everything in. “It’s cool right?”

“Wow.” you said slowly walking around the room, looking at all of your art supplies and paintings all over the room. 

“You used to come in here and blast the music and get so lost in your art.” Jamie explained, watching you look around at everything, stopping to touch a few of the pieces you had on the walls. Jamie handed you a paintbrush when you stopped in front of your latest unfinished piece and you hesitated before taking it. “Go ahead.”

“I don’t really know what i’m doing.” you felt panicked and insecure in those moments, with Jamie watching over you knowing he wanted nothing more than to know you still remember how to make art. 

“Hold on.” Jamie said, running over to the stereo you had in the corner of the room and turning it up loudly before walking back to you with a big smile on his face. “Just try it.”

“Can you just turn the music down please?” you asked, voice shaky feeling anxiety erupt in your stomach and spread all over your body. 

“I swear you used to listen to it way louder than this-” 

“I have a clinically bad fucking headache! Please turn it down!” you threw the paintbrush, yelling over the music at Jamie and rubbing your temples. Jamie turned off the music, feeling anger bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to blow up on you, but he wanted you to realize it was hard for him too.

“I’m trying to help you! We don’t speak to each other like this, Y/N. This is difficult for me too.” Jamie explained, before turning around and walking out of your studio. After he left you spent some more time looking around before going back to your apartment. Jamie went for a walk and stopped at your favorite takeout place before returning home to you. 

“Y/N?” Jamie called out, not seeing you in the living room.

“I’m in here.” you responded, and Jamie walked into your bedroom seeing you packing a bag. “My sister is getting married soon and I just feel like I should be there for her. She has an engagement party coming up so I want to help her with that.” 

“Okay, but what about your life here?” Jamie asked, watching you walk around your room grabbing more things to pack away.

“I don’t know, I just- I can’t do it.” you said. “I’m sorry, it’s just going to be until after the wedding.” 

You invited Jamie to your sister’s engagement party, per your family's request, and against your sisters. Your sister never minded Jamie, but she always preferred you with Samuel, since she was the reason you guys had met in the first place. Your parents insisted on Jamie being a part of this event, not as your date, but just so he could feel welcome in this aspect of your life since it was new for all of you.

“Y/N!” Jamie said, spotting you once he entered the backyard to where the party was happening.

“Jamie! You made it!” you said, walking over to him and noticing his suit. “You look nice.”

“I was thinking that we should try a new method. We should start from the beginning, and I would like to take you on a date.” 

“A date?” you asked, feeling uneasy at his question when you looked behind him briefly noticing Samuel. “I don’t know, the weddings coming up-”

“But if we go before that, you could still take me as your date.” Jamie said, smirking. Suddenly feeling smooth and confident with his choice of words. 

“Okay. A date.” you nodded your head in agreement, smiling widely up at Jamie before both of your attentions got turned to some toasts being made. 

A few days later and Jamie was getting ready for his date with you. He picked you up at your sister’s house, just outside of Dallas. 

“Where are we going?” you asked curiously, noticing that Jamie was driving back into the city. 

“It’s a surprise.” Jamie said, and not long after you made it to your first destination which was parked on the side of the road, you knew it looked familiar from the day you explored on your own, but you couldn’t pinpoint it. “This is the exact spot where we first met. I’m gonna take you down memory lane.” 

You guys got out of the car and headed into Weekend Coffee where Jamie brought you to the table you first sat at together and left to go up and get you the same order you both had that day. 

“This is my favorite pastry of all time and the day we met I forced you to try it.” Jamie said, sliding the pastry over to you for you to try. You took a small bite and moaned in satisfaction making both of you laugh at your reaction.

“It’s amazing!” you took another bite, and listened as Jamie explained to you how you always order that pastry and whatever new flavor they have that time and split them. The next stop on Jamie’s list was the rink where the Stars practice and also where he taught you how to skate very quickly into your relationship. 

“What do you think?” Jamie asked, handing you a sweatshirt to wear while you're inside the rink.

“Um, I can’t skate. I’ll eat ice.” you said, shaking your head and Jamie laughed throwing his head back.

“I got you, don’t worry.” Jamie said, finishing the laces on his skates before kneeling down to help you tie yours the proper way for them to be secure on your feet. Jamie stood up on his skates and walked towards the opening of the rink before turning to look at you. You nodded slowly wobbling behind him, and watching as he expertly took his place on the ice.

“Hold my hand.” you shrieked, holding both your hands out for him to take. Jamie grabbed a hold of your hands and led you onto the ice, but he quickly moved his hands to your waist to help stabilize you.

After a little while of him holding you tightly, you hadn’t realized when he started pulling away from you and you were skating on your own. You gasped realizing he was watching you from about a foot away and that caused you to lose your balance. You felt your skates come up from under you and you closed your eyes bracing yourself for the fall, but it never came jamie saving the fall, holding you in his arms.

“Oh my god! I thought I was gonna die!” you yelped, and looked up at Jamie seeing him smiling down at you.

“I think you learned even quicker this time around.” Jamie smirked, standing you up straight  on your skates. The two of you wrapped up the lesson and made your way back out to his car.

“Kiss me.” you said to Jamie once both of you were in the car. Jamie looked at you with wide eyes and you were already smiling confidently at him. 

“Are you sure?” Jamie asked, already starting to lean into you and you nodded your head yes before pulling him in by the back of the neck. Jamie put everything he had in that kiss and you could feel all his emotions pouring into it. 

“This is nice.” you said, pulling away with a smile on your lips. Jamie nodded, leaning in to kiss you again, finally letting himself feel safe in your embrace because for the first time in months he felt close to you again. You pulled apart both of you breathing heavy and your faces flushed and Jamie drove you back to your sisters house and of course, walked you to the door like a gentleman. 

“I miss you. I miss us. I love you.” Jamie said, and you gave him a sad smile before looking around to avoid meeting his gaze.

“I should get inside. Goodnight Jamie.” you walked into the house, giving him a small smile before closing the door. When you walked inside your sister was sitting on the couch watching tv and waiting for you. 

“Hey! Were you out with Samuel?” your sister asked excited. 

“No, I was with Jamie. I like him.” you smiled, trying to fight off the tears beginning to pool in your eyes, but that didn’t help and they came rushing down your face.

A few days later and it was your sister's wedding, you didn’t bring Jamie as your date knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to him to give him that kind of hope. Jamie kept his distance with you, not wanting to overwhelm you with his presence at the reception. 

“Hey, you want me to introduce you to people. Can’t feel good to be the one left out.” Samuel said, coming over to where Jamie was standing at the bar.

“I’m not the one left out.” Jamie said confidently. 

“If you say so. You just seem weird over here all by yourself.” Samuel laughed, getting his drink from the bartender. 

“I’m just waiting for Y/N.” Jamie said, slight irritation in his tone of voice

“Good luck with that.” Samuel said, starting to walk away from the bar.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Jamie asked, before Samuel could get too far away. “Y/N leaves you, has a whole life without you with some new guy that's different and now you get to watch her reject all of that.”

“I like it a little bit, I guess.” Samuel smirked, a condescending chuckle falling from his lips. 

“You wanna know what I like? I like that Y/N told me everything about you, that when she was with you she’d wake up at night panicking thinking, ‘is this all there is?’” Jamie said, taking a sip from his drink.

“She told you everything?” Samuel asked, a smile on his face. “Did she tell you that she kissed me a few weeks ago?” 

“Look, you obviously love her and think that you're gonna get her back, but she outgrew you. It’ll probably happen again, man.” Jamie said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, i’ll be sure to think about that when i’m in bed with your wife.” Samuel said, and that was the final straw for Jamie as he threw a punch to his face knocking Samuel to the ground. 

“Jamie!” you yelled, running over and seeing Samuel on the ground. Jamie turned to look at you and ran after you. 

“What was that?” you felt Jamie coming up behind you so you stopped short turning around once you were out of earshot from everyone. 

“I’ve been driving myself crazy trying everything possible to save us and you’ve been kissing Samuel?” Jamie said, frustration hitting him like a brick. 

“That’s not fair!” you said, looking up at Jamie.

“No? I see the way you look at him, it’s the same way you used to look at me.” Jamie whispered, looking at the ground and back up at you. “Your memory’s not coming back. I’m a stranger.”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you Jamie. I’m so tired of disappointing you.” you let the tears fall down your face freely.

“I know. How do you look at the girl you love and tell yourself it’s time to leave?”Jamie asked, before turning and walking away from you. 

9 Months Later

You were finally getting around to unpack your things from Jamie’s apartment. You hadn’t realized the last box was holding something very near and dear to your heart. It was your wedding vows, the ones written on Weekend Coffee menus. 

“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patients that love demands.” you read the menu outloud, feeling a pang in your chest and your breath hitch in your throat. You decided to take a ride to the small cafe where everything started, upon arriving you saw Jamie outside the doors reading the “closed” sign on the glass. Jamie turned, walking away from the door and doing a double take as he saw you approaching and stopped in his tracks.

“Hi.” Jamie said, walking closer to meet you halfway on the sidewalk.

“Hi.” you responded, both of you stopping in front of each other.

“I hope you didn’t come all the way to the city for a pastry.” Jamie said, turning to look back at the sign.

“Actually, I moved back here six months ago.” you said, smiling up at Jamie.

“Really? That’s great.” 

“I’ve actually started to paint again.”

“That’s amazing!” 

“It’s crazy what my hands remember, that my mind forgot you know?” you said, gesturing to your head as you spoke. “So, thank you.”

“Wasn’t me.” Jamie said, shaking his head noticing the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Yes it was. You did everything. You never wanted anything but the best for me.” you said, reassuring Jamie, wiping the tears that started to fall down your face.

“I just wanted you to be happy.” Jamie confirmed. 

“Isn’t there somewhere we used to go when this place closed?” you asked, smirking at Jamie hoping he’s getting the hint that you want to go out with him. 

“Yea, let’s go.” Jamie said, both of you walking the same direction. Jamie smiling down at you when you reached for his hand. 

You never regained your memory, but the love between you and Jamie was true, it was real and raw and able to be felt no matter what forces were between you. It was a love that anyone could feel being in the same room as you, it was kind, patient, and honest. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

taglist: @sortagaysortahigh​ @sweeterthansammy​ @butgilinsky​ @kiedhara​ @taiter-tots​ @jjmaybanksbaby​ @jamiedrysdales​ @ana-maa​ @iamtheblondestblonde​ @elitebarzal​ @softboybarzal​ @himbos-on-ice​ @bestestbenn​ @dreamypeaches​ @mycaptaintazer​ @dunnerbarzal​ @matbarzall​ @sidscrosbyy​ @calgarycanuck​ @celestialblae​ @jackiesquinn​​

[my-northern-downpour]

Otherwise Engaged

This is my (late I’m sorry) Maribat Secret Santa gift for @kitsunebell! It’s a Timari story and contains fluff, some very slight angst, but a happy ending for all! My first time writing this couple and I had a hard, but good time. I really hope you enjoy and have a Happy New Year!

@maribat-secret-santa-2020 AO3

To say Tim was nervous would be the understatement of the century. Today was Christmas after all, and it was his girlfriend’s favorite holiday. And she loved literally almost everything about it. From the decorations, to the lights, to the cooking and smells that came with it, to gift giving and hanging out with family.The one thing she didn’t really care for was receiving gifts. She always accepted them with a smile and a thanks, but she hated the idea that people spent their money on her, even if some of them were billionaires. And this was what made him nervous. Because this year he had gotten her a gift, breaking their promise of no gifts for each other. And he had a plan to go along with it.

He had all day to get everything set up just the way he wanted. It wasn’t anything elaborate, but because his family was just the way they were, there was always something that can and probably will go wrong. He had already set up a private area in the Wayne Botanical Gardens, her favorite area with the tropical flowers in a variety of colors and smells. It was her go to area when in a design slump, and the location of their first date. He smiled as he recalled that day.

“Tim! Where are we going?” asked a young 18 year-old Marinette who was currently blindfolded and being led somewhere in her new home city of Gotham. Tim had been ecstatic to learn that his long time friend, crush, and now new girlfriend had decided to attend University in Gotham for their fashion courses. He knew a little of that world, but Mari had been a willing and patient teacher whenever he asked questions on why she was doing a certain stitch when and how she just knew what kind of fabrics to use. And in return, he was always willing to explain his business knowings her when she asked anything.  

“You’re so very impatient you know that?” replied an excited 19 year-old Tim Drake. He had never thought he would get the chance to take her out on a proper date, but now here he was, ecstatic and leading her to their first date location that he hoped she would love as much as he did. It was his favorite part of the botanical gardens and he knew she would love it as well. “It's our first official date and I want to take you somewhere special, so therefore it’s a surprise. You’ll just have to wait and see,” he chuckled at her sigh and tightened his grip on her hand slightly to signal her to pick up the pace a little. He, too, was getting impatient but he wouldn’t let her know that.

They entered the gardens and his excitement turned to nervousness. What if she didn’t like the location? What if she was allergic to these types of flowers? What if… He shook his head and didn’t think to much on it anymore. This was Mari he was talking about. She loved all types of flowers and he knew she loved places with color for inspiration. This was a foolproof plan… He hoped.

As they entered the tropical area of the gardens, he let go of her hand and turned around to face her. “Are you ready?” he asked. She nodded her head, excited to see where he had taken her. He reached up to untie the blindfold from her face and watched her face as she looked around. Her eyes lit up and her smile grew wide. She looked around the room, falling in love with it more and more. The red and yellow flowers contrasted against the green fauna made her inner artist squeal and add in the purples and oranges and she was a goner.

Marinette took another look around the room before turning back to Tim and placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. “This place is amazing. Thank you for showing me this place.”

It was at that moment that Tim knew he was goner as well.

Returning to his project at hand, Tim had started to set up a little picnic area for them to enjoy together after the big Christmas family dinner. Alfred had made up both of their favorite snacks and desserts and had also packed a bottle of champagne. Tim never really was one to drink these days, but he did indulge every once in a while.

21 year-old Marinette had been up all night waiting for Tim to get home. He had said he was going out with some friends earlier to a bar for a few drinks. She knew it wasn’t his patrol night, so that’s not where he would be. She had tried calling him a few times, but stopped after the third time, not wanting to seem overbearing.  They had just moved in together into their own apartment not too long ago and everything had been going great so far. Marinette was almost done with her college courses and was on track to open her own little boutique here in Gotham, and Tim had started to take on some more work load for Wayne Enterprises. She knew how stressed he could get at times and a few drinks had always seemed to help him out. But he had never stayed out this late before. At least, not without letting her know he was okay.

And so, in order to occupy her mind, she pulled out her sketchbook and began to mindlessly draw some designs. Tikki would come by to check on her every now and then, but even the little goddess got tired and found herself snuggling up to Marinette to fall asleep. That was at 2 am. And it was now going on 5.

Just as she was about to give in and go to bed, she heard the jiggling of keys, the turning of a lock, and then the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. She carefully removed Tikki from herself and jumped out of the chair to run to the front door.

There stood Tim, alive at least, but looking worse for wear. His hair was crazy and wild looking and his usually neat shirt was wrinkled and had a few stains on it. She could smell the alcohol on him a mile away. She said nothing as he looked up at her and smiled before tripping over himself and landing against the wall with a thud. After helping him to the bed and removing his shoes, she set a glass of water and aspirin on the nightstand and left him to sleep on the couch.

The conversation that followed was fairly typical. She asked where he had been and why he didn’t at least let her know he would be back later than expected.  He told her he was sorry to worry her and that his phone had died. He explained that he ended up at his friends house where they continued the party after the bars closed and that was it. Then he promised to not do it again.

Except he did it again. It was two months later, but it happened.

And then again and again and again.

He continued to go out and stay out on his off nights and even sometimes skipped his own patrols.

And then one night/morning he came home expecting her to be there, but she wasn’t. Instead he found a note on her side of the bed, claiming she was at his father’s house for the foreseeable future. She couldn’t keep doing this, waiting around all night for him to come back and worrying about where he was at or if he was okay. She wrote that she loved him and wanted to help him get better, but she needed a break for right now. Because she didn’t know how to help him.

It didn’t really set in that she was gone until he looked around the room and saw that it looked empty. Her side of the closet contained only bare hangers and her sketchbooks and extra fabrics were gone. He looked around to try to find the tiny flying goddess or any of the other kwami that she guarded, but couldn’t find them at all.

When he laid down, it was to a cold bed and he knew he had royally fucked up.

Shaking those thoughts aside, he took a look at the picnic area and smiled. Now all he had to do was make sure his family didn’t interrupt him this evening after they left the manor.

~~~

Christmas dinner went as smoothly as expected. Marinette’s parents flew in to spend some time with everyone and, of course, brought along some of their macarons. Gifts were exchanged and pleasantries were passed along. Time kept creeping ever closer to his time with Marinette, and Tim was feeling nervous again. He knew she loved him, no doubt about it. She wouldn’t have put up with him for almost 7 years if she didn’t. And he loved her more than he could ever convey. So why did he feel this way?

Ahh, yes. It was his brothers, who were currently trying to set up a way to sneak into the gardens beforehand and not get noticed. The only ones he wanted there were him, his girlfriend, and the gaggle of kwamis that were always around her. But even they were in on it, so they were going to make themselves scarce. Dick and Jason had set up cameras earlier, but Tim had found them and knocked them out. Damian, who really opened up to Marinette over the past few years, had tried to sneak a peak at the ring so he could give his approval, but it was moved before he could find it. Even Bruce had had thoughts of trying to get in, but Alfred had pulled him aside for some last minute details on something that needed his attention right away.

He looked at the clock in the living room. 9:30. It was time to go. He began to get up and walked over to Marinette who was sitting with her parents just chatting away. He felt bad for taking her away from them, but this was important. And her parents knew.

“Mari, babe. Let’s head out. There’s some place I want to go before we head home for the night,” he said to her as he laid his hands on her shoulders. She turned to look at him and smiled before turning back to her parents.

“Maman, Papa, is that okay if we go?” Her parents eagerly agreed, saying they would talk later and to have fun tonight. And with that, Tim and Marinette had grabbed their coats, said their goodbyes, and went on their way.

“So, where exactly are we going Tim? You seem really excited for this,” she inquired from her seat, Tikki sat on her shoulder and grinning widely.

“Now, where’s the fun in surprises if you know about them?” he chuckled as they pulled up to botanical gardens. He quickly got out of the car and ran to her side to open the door and let her out. Taking her hand, he gently kissed the back of it before closing the door behind her. “Now, I do have something for you to wear before you can go in.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blindfold.

“Really? I know almost every inch of this place?” she giggled. “But, if you insist, go right ahead.”

Tim then covered her eyes and started leading her into the gardens. They passed through every single area until they reached her favorite room. This was it. Now or never. He reached up to take the blindfold off, but instructed her to keep her eyes closed until he told her to open them. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and got down on one knee.

“Okay, you can open them.”

Marinette opened her eyes and smiled at the room. It was always lovely to be here. It made her happy and always quieted her mind. She looked for Tim in front of her before looking down and gasping. There he was, kneeling in front of her, with a simple yet gorgeous floral ring.

“Marinette,” he began, “you’re my best friend and my favorite person. I’ve gotten to spend 7 years with you and for that I am the luckiest man in the world. You were there for me in my darkest time and you never stopped believing in me. You were there even when you had every right to leave me behind and never look back. You have no idea the hold you have on me.”

“I want to continue to wake up next to you, and to share your struggles, frustrations, and celebrate your achievements. You’re the only one for me and I want to let everyone know that. So will you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, do me the honor of marrying me?”

Marinette’s heart was beating so hard at that moment. Her eyes began to water and she began to smile. “As long as you can handle the constant screeching you’ll get from my friends for not telling them about this, then yes. Tim Drake-Wayne, I would love nothing more than to marry you.”

His smile turned so bright at her words and he took the ring out of the box. She handed him her left hand and slid the ring into place before pulling her in for a passionate kiss…

That only lasted a few seconds because not long afterwards did a bat boy seemingly fall out of nowhere.

“Really Nightwing?! I had the perfect spot to record it all!” Red Hood shouted up to the ceiling where a chorus of laughter rang out. He pulled himself up before turning to the happy couple and whipped out his recording device. “Don’t mind me. Just recording this for prosperity’s sake, you know?”

Marinette laughed and Tim sighed before turning back to his fiance (Fiance!) and pulled her back in for another kiss, ignoring all the catcalls and whistles from up above.

Years down the road, Tim was grateful for the video, even though he would never tell anyone that.

[spencers-renaissance]

Writing Masterlist

All of my writing is available on AO3, but I’ve put together a masterlist of all my work so far for everyone who gets their fic fill on tumblr and will keep it updated! Keep your eyes peeled for new fics on the regular <3

⭐️= indicates my personal faves

If you’re looking for smut, you need to head to my smut masterlist on my nsfw blog!

Current Fic Count: 30

Aaron x Spencer

⭐️turns out that I need you now (much more than you need me)

Spencer is suffering in silence and it’s only made worse when the team messes up and makes him feel even more hurt and insecure. When Hotch goes to check on him, though, things start to look up.

3.5k, angst, hurt/comfort, protective hotch, happy ending

⭐️Vivaldi on Full Volume

Spencer’s done enough pining, so he decides to write a letter for Aaron telling him exactly how he feels and gives it to him on the jet. He cannot be held responsible for what happens when they land.

5.2k, fluff, love confessions, shy spencer, insecurity

Living the Same Lie

Aaron breaks up with Spencer, but when an attempt to move on goes horribly wrong they get a second chance.

5k, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, fluff, breaking up and making up, implied/mentioned physical assault, implied/mentioned sexual assault

East Coast

Spencer and Aaron happen to sit opposite one another on a busy train, and when Spencer spots a breakthrough in the legal case Aaron is stuck on, they strike up an innocuous conversation that quickly stirs up feelings.

2.1k, fluff, meet-cute, train carriage au, lawyer!aaron, academic!spencer, shy spencer, firsts 

All Roads Lead Home

Spencer’s working the Christmas Eve shift when a young boy with a hurt arm comes into the ER. Nothing out of the ordinary, except his rather flirty dad and leaving later with an extra phone number in his contacts list…

2.1k, fluff, hospital au, getting together, first date, gentleman!aaron, soft spencer

To Look on Tempests and Not Be Shaken

In the wake of a blazing row and an empty apartment, Aaron finds Spencer’s well-thumbed copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets and recalls the morning after their wedding, when Spencer sat on his lap and read Sonnet 116 to him. Suddenly, everything makes sense.

2.6k, angst with a happy ending, fighting and making up, married hotchreid, relationship dynamics, introspection, fluff

Derek x Spencer

Even More Beautiful 

The BAU is stuck in Michigan with no case and no way home, so naturally, Spencer and Derek confess their love for one another. (Based on the prompt ‘You look even more beautiful covered in snow.’)

3.5k, fluff, love confessions, shy spencer, insecurity, hurt/comfort

⭐️Hear it in the Silence

A short, fluffy chronicle of Spencer realising in increments how in love with Derek he is, and navigating a real, beautifully sweet relationship that's not always smooth sailing, especially since he's been hurt before. (Based on Taylor Swift’s You are in Love.)

3.7k, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, dev relationship, tw past abuse, domesticity

⭐️Still Left With the River

Derek wakes up to find his boyfriend crying on the sofa. Cue the hurt, the comfort, and the fluff. 

1.6k, hurt/comfort, fluff, caretaker!derek, autistic spencer, crying, sad spencer

100

Spencer's an academic researcher who spends every morning at his local library. Derek just happens to drop by one Tuesday and ask the pretty boy in the classics section if he can help him find a book. Sparks fly.

2.1k, library au, fluff, meet-cute, pining, shy spencer, coming out

when I fall asleep (it is your eyes that I close)

Spencer’s not been sleeping, and as much as Derek adores his sleepy clinginess and physical affection, as soon as they get home he’s determined to get to the bottom of it. 

1.9k, fluff, hurt/comfort, sleep-deprivation, clingy!spencer, physical affection, anxiety, cuddling

⭐️Trees and Seas Have Flown Away, I Call it Loving You

Derek says something hurtful, but it happens to lead to just about the best thing that’s ever happened to Spencer.

3.2k, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, fighting/making up, angst with a happy ending, autistic spencer, coming out, getting together

⭐️A Christmas Like This

Spencer has a very specific plan for their first Christmas in their new house, and it has to be absolutely perfect. Derek’s going to do everything in his power to make his boyfriend as happy as possible, even if that means a house covered in garlands and a tree covered in animal skeletons…

2.9k, fluff, christmas fic, est relationship, neurodivergence, romance, domesticity, day in the life

Secret Santa

Penelope rigs the BAU’s Secret Santa game to finally get Derek and Spencer together with extraordinary success, and they have her to thank for their future first date. Oh, and a sprig of mistletoe nearly throws the whole thing out the window. 

2.8k, fluff, getting together, insecurity/anxiety, christmas fic, first kiss, misunderstandings, friendship

⭐️A Chronicle of Loss

5 people Spencer Reid lost and 1 person he gained. A look at the traumas Spencer faces over the series, and giving him the happy ending he deserves.

3.6k, grief, loss, abandonment issues, insecurity, depression, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, getting together, ‘didn’t know they were dating’, protective derek, autistic spencer

Mayhem

Imagine that scene in S4E1 when Derek is driving the ambulance loaded with a bomb about to explode, except it’s Spencer on the other end of the phone and they finally get their shit together. 

4.2k, canon divergence, spencer is the tech analyst, getting together, mutual pining, insecure spencer, angst with a happy ending, fluff, declarations of love

⭐️my heart talks about nothing but you

Derek finds Spencer staring longingly at dancing newlyweds while on a case and once he gets to the bottom of why he’s tasked with making a proposal to a man who knows it’s coming special somehow. (He pulls it off.)

2.5k, established relationship, hurt/comfort, minor angst, fluff, relationship discussions, proposal, protective derek

I told the stars about you

Derek and Spencer have their first date. They dance to Frank Sinatra and cuddle in an ice cream parlour, before kissing the hell out of each other at Spencer's front door. That's pretty much it. (Prequel to above fic.)

2.1k, first date, first kiss, pure tooth-rotting fluff, dancing, flirting, protective derek

⭐️I can’t hold enough of you in my hands

Derek and Spencer are finally getting married and the rest of the BAU are there to help them through every step of the day. Including a little surprise that Derek has up his sleeve for their first dance. (Third part to the above two fics.)

3.1k, tooth-rotting fluff, marriage/wedding day, team as family, team dynamics, domesticity, paternal hotch, maternal alex, just a whole lotta love man

⭐️ dry me off and hold me close

Derek has finally relented and is bringing his boyfriend Spencer to meet the rest of the team. That means, though, he has to finally tell them about his boyfriend's disability. Terrified that they'll react badly, he puts it off until he can't anymore. Turns out he was worried for nothing

5.7k, so much fluff, protective derek, disabled spencer, caretaker derek, spencer is not in the bau, team as family, hurt/comfort, light angst, est. rel, chronic illness, slice of life: disabled edition

Honeysuckle

The BAU decide to head out for a picnic one summer afternoon, but they’re soon rudely interrupted by a bee sting and anaphylactic shock. Seeing Spencer carted off in an ambulance is not exactly how they expected the day to go.

2.3k, whump, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, hurt spencer, friendship, medical conditions, severe allergic reactions

⭐️The Noiseless Crash of Crumbling Walls

After Derek and Spencer are paired up on a science project in their senior year of high school, they become the closest, most unlikely friends possible. But what happens when Derek finally finds out what Spencer's dealing with at home? Inspired by the prompt “where did you get those bruises?”

4.5k, high school au, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, hurt spencer, protective derek, abuse, friendship, pre-slash, spencer just turned 16, derek is almost 18

Luke x Spencer

Start With This

Luke accidentally hurts Spencer because they are both hopelessly stupid, but when Spencer’s faced with a dangerous situation there’s nothing he wants more than Luke. Calling him turns out to be a very good decision.

3.9k, hurt/comfort, angst w a happy ending, fluff, getting together, misunderstandings

⭐️Foolishly, Completely Falling

Spencer declines to spend the night with Luke, but there’s a reason for that, and things start to click into place when Spencer shows back up at his doorstep at 2am, hours after being dropped home.

2.5k, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, past toxic relationship, nightmares, est/dev relationship

You Said You’d Never Smile Again

“At one point, we had a conversation about how hard Spencer was finding life after prison and he told me that he didn’t think he’d ever smile again. And so, I made it my mission to prove Dr Spencer Reid wrong for the first time in his life.”

1.4k, weddings, tooth-rotting fluff, implied/referenced depression, post-prison spencer, insecure luke, found family 

Emily x JJ

Don’t Be Scared, I Love You

JJ is shot and Emily's world stops spinning.

1.7k, whump, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, fluff, protective emily

⭐️my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Emily leaves. Her heart is breaking. JJ follows. Hers is waking up.

1.3k, angst with a happy ending, fluff, mutual pining, crying, first kiss

Emily x Reader

⭐️Night In/Night Out

Emily Prentiss is your girlfriend and she finally asks you to meet her family (the BAU): cue the fluff.

3.2k, fluff, flirting, cuddling, domesticity, protective emily, slight shy!reader

baby, you’re my new years’ eve

You and Emily are hosting a New Years' Eve party for all of your friends, but she's acting a little weird. You finally find out why when the clock strikes midnight.

3.6k, fluff, nye fic, proposal, getting engaged, domesticity, romance, flirting, day in the life 

Gen

Pull Me Out of the Glowing Stream

Spencer develops bacterial meningitis and Hotch sort of forgets how to breathe. 

3.8k, paternal!hotch, hurt/comfort, sickness, whump, fluff, happy ending

I found my way home

After Spencer tells Hotch about his recent autism diagnosis, he expects that to be the end of it. Somehow, though, it keeps coming up, and Hotch keeps proving himself to be the best father figure he could have asked for. 

4.1k, autistic spencer, protective hotch, hurt/comfort, fluff, paternal hotch, team as family

⭐️The Colour of Waiting is Purple

Spencer's just trying to get home as quickly as possible when a bad decision to take a shortcut down a back alley leaves him broken and bleeding into the night. // Hotch thinks it's a new case when his phone rings at 3 in the morning. It isn't.

3.7k, whump, hurt/comfort, physical assault, major character injury, hospitals, dad hotch, hurt spencer, angst with a happy ending, eventual fluff

[spooderboyandtincan]

Masterlist

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35071825https://archiveofourown.org/works/34937053/chapters/87002521(Please excuse the mess)

Prompts

Tony Stitches Peter Up - Peter shows up bleeding out. Tony tries not to have a breakdown.

Chinese Food for Fridays - Random fluff with Tony, Peter and May.

Just Lost for a Minute Chapter 1 & 2 - Peter has a notorious habit of getting lost.

Well That Was Awkward -  Peter's classmates find him talking to the Tony Stark, who shouldn't even know he exists. So, naturally, chaos ensues.

Close to My Heart - A short fic full of angst and hurt/ comfort

In the Dead of Night Part 1 and 2 - Tony and Peter comforting each other through their nightmares.

Stark Only Cares for Himself - Steve thinks Tony only loves himself. He was wrong.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man - Peter proudly plays his new theme song to the Avengers.

Teething - Baby Peter is teething. Tony is very stressed.

Well at least it’s not on fire - One late night, Peter and Tony try to bake a cake. 

They’re Good Uncles, But.... Chapter 1 and 2 - Uncles Rhodey and Happy are babysitting Peter when the penthouse decides to set fire.

Time to Die... Of Embarrassment - May pulls out Peter’s baby pictures.

You Terrified Me - Bio son Peter breaks curfew. Tony is scared.

He’s not as bad as I thought - Peter has a panic attack when only Bucky is there. The two bond over Star Wars.

Lemongrass Tea - Peter is delighted to find a bubble tea shop opened downtown. He decides to try lemongrass. Unfortunately, spiders are allergic to it.

Other Fics

Car Crash Chapter 1, 2, 3, and 4 - A fun road trip leads to a disaster. Chapters 4/4

Nose Bleed - Both Tony and Peter are shocked when Peter suffers his first  nosebleed.

Baby Peter - A fluffy fic with toddler Peter and his dad

On the Ceiling - Tony finds his toddler not in his bed, but on the ceiling.

A Few Heart Attacks - Peter takes a major hit for Tony and barely survives.

Vlogging - Peter, Ned, and Shuri as seen through their vlog.

Hammock - Peter discovers the many wonderful pleasures of a hammock.

Something is Wrong - Peter collapses and scares the shit out of Tony.

Hot Chocolate and Cuddles - A fluffy fic about the first snow.

Here Comes Trouble, Make it Double - Peter had had a good day. But not anymore.

Don’t Worry, I’ll Sue Thor - Peter’s definitely not afraid of storms. Nope. Not one bit.

I Love You So, So Much - Tony tries to protect Peter from Hydra by keeping him in the tower... unfortunately, Hydra is at the tower too.

Midnight Snack - Peter has a late night snack on the ceiling.

Why the Hell Were You on the Ceiling?! - A very short fic where Peter falls asleep on the ceiling.

How do you Tie a Tie? - Tony shows Peter how to tie a tie. Peter is unsure that he belongs with the famous Avengers.

Please Don’t Kill Flash - Peter and Flash get kidnapped together. Tony is frantic.

Presumed Dead - Peter won’t eat, talk, sleep. He has nothing to live for if Tony is dead.

A Fast but Steady Heartbeat - Peter, Tony and Rhodey are enjoying their afternoon at a restaurant until the building and their food explodes.

October 30th, Day Before Halloween - Tony gets an emergency call. The Parkers have been attacked.

Peter’s Favorite Avenger? Not anymore - The Avengers meet Peter. Tony was terrified at first, and now he’s jealous. He’s still Peter’s favorite Avenger, right?

Drowning - The mission was supposed to be simple. It wasn’t. 

Rough Day? Or just tired? - Tony and Peter have a movie night. Peter falls asleep halfway through.

Temporarily Blind (and more) Chapter 1, 2, 3 , 4 - Peter goes blind. Not only that, but he’s dying.

Baby’s First Battle - Toddler Peter sneaks onto the Quinjet to help find his dad.  

Scream - Tony taught his little toddler to scream as loud as he could if someone he didn’t know tried to touch him. But he prayed Peter would never, ever end up in a situation like that. 

Being a Dad - Tony had to keep himself from calling Peter every ten seconds, reminding himself that FRIDAY was there and would alert him if anything happened. He had a deep feeling that something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Happy Tears - Peter squirmed uncomfortably, the hard plastic chair digging into his back. He glanced at the clock. 2 am. Everyone else was asleep. May, Pepper, Nat, Sam. And Tony. Tony had been asleep for five days. 

Happy Birthday Peter! - Celebrating Peter’s birthday!

A Building Fell on You?! - Peter wakes up screaming. When Tony asks what his nightmare was about, Peter responds that a warehouse collapsed on him.

Hibernation -  Peter's spider side decides it's time to go into hibernation.

Blanket Forts - Peter is stressed from school. (Self-projection? Mayhaps) Tony knows just how to help.

Happy Halloween! -  Peter, Tony, and May's amazing, eventful day of picking pumpkins, carving said pumpkins, and getting spooked by watching Buzzfeed Unsolved.

You Came Back to Me - "Peter took another sip, expecting his dry throat to be blissfully cleared by the sweet cherry flavored drink.

The burning in his throat only grew. He felt like his stomach was  turning inside out and his chest had been stabbed with needle-sharp knives. The back of his neck prickled and he felt like he was in the middle of a blizzard but also in a desert with the sun directly overhead at the same time."

Or: Peter gets poisoned

tonystank and bananaboy -  Tony and Peter play Among Us, which can only result in a chaotic tickle fight (in which Peter loses drastically) and a (platonic) cuddle session while watching Star Trek.

You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone Ao3 -  When Tony had made his monthly anonymous donation of 50,000 to Peter's highschool, he hadn't thought that they would use the money to whisk his kid away to Vienna, Austria for an entire week.

I Want a Baby - Prompt from @milla-romy : I wish you would write a fic... about the Superfamily 💖

(Tony wants to adopt a baby. Steve isn't so sure.)

Presumed Dead -  After a HYDRA mission goes wrong, Peter is presumed dead and Tony mourns his son, until...

Sunny Son -  "Today is Friday, and Tony’s watch has just pinged, alerting him that Peter has arrived at the tower. He types out a quick text on the small surface of the watch: I’ll be up in 30 bud! and focuses his attention on the presenter, not because the presentation is in any way interesting, but because he needs to focus on something other than being separated from his kid.

Only thirty minutes, he thinks to himself, and he can go upstairs and cuddle his kid."

Or, Tony is a soft dad who wants to cuddle his kid- who can't stop giving him a heart attack every ten minutes.

[chuckbass-love]

Johnny protective over sue fic?

Hey lovely. Thank you so much for your patience, i know i’ve made you wait a long time for this one but i hope it’s worth the wait.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Sue Storm & Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Summary: After Reed and Sue break up, Johnny vowed to never let anyone hurt his sister ever again. Now Reed is back and it’s clear they are getting close again, will Johnny allow Sue to give him another chance?

A/N: I’m sorta re writing the events of how Sue and Reed got back together in this. Just a little note so no one comes for me saying this never happened😂

Warnings: Angst, some comedy and language. No real warnings i guess.

Word Count: 3,429

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @emilysblunt go check them out❤️

Protection

“I can’t keep having the same argument with you” Reed huffs, pacing back and forth whilst Sue is sat on the edge of the bed, head in her hands and practically sobbing her eyes out over all of this.

“Clearly you don’t care then. If you can’t even bother to fight for this or make it right” she yells back, standing up now, practically toe to toe with her boyfriend.

“I don’t understand what you want from me. We already have something great and you want more now?” he sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he looks away.

The thing is, from an outsiders perspective. This relationship couldn’t be more perfect. Just two people madly in love. But to say the inside view is different would be an understatement. All Sue has ever wanted was security, knowing she’s loved and knowing that she’s taken care of but of course Reed has failed to provide that for quite some time now.

She’s been asking more about settling down, getting their own place or maybe even just moving in with him and talking about marriage and kids. You know, the future.

However her pestering has done more harm than good. It clearly struck a nerve with Reed, her boyfriend of 2 years. Almost 3. They’ve been together all this time and he still can’t treat her as though she’s the one.

It’s almost as if he’s allergic to a little commitment. Which if she asks him, he denies it, making up some excuse he concocted in that tiny pea brain of his. 

Plus not only is Sue nagging but Johnny is too.

“When are you gonna ask my sister to move in?”

“Are you gonna pop the question or what?”

And now, Sue is at it again. With her questions and her theories about why he doesn’t want to live with her.

“Is it because you don’t love me? Is that it? Because if it is, i’d rather you just say it no-”

“Of course i love you Sue it’s never been about that” he snaps, making her step back out of fright. He rarely looses his cool. Something is definitely up with him.

“Well then, what is it? Why can’t you just commit to me”

“Maybe i just don’t want to live with you, is that so hard to understand?”

Her eyes widen as tears start to drown her vision out. She can feel her lips quivering.

“W-what?”

“You heard me. Now. Can we just forget about it?” how dare he. After all she’s given up for him.

“Oh we can forget about it alright. We’re done”

Before he can even convince her to stay, she’s collecting her stuff.

“Just because living together isn’t an option, doesn’t mean we can’t still make this work” he shouts from the bedroom whilst she’s in the closet and once she emerges from it, she rolls her eyes.

“Almost 3 years later and you still lack balls. I’m though with this. It’s over Reed. Have a nice life”

The door is slammed on her way out and all that’s left now is the memories they made together in this room. All of their fond memories. Memories of love and peace. True happiness. But not anymore. Now he’s all alone and he has no one else to blame but himself.

Sue stands outside of Reeds apartment, crying in the rain whilst also trying to see the screen of her cellphone, she needs to get away from here. And fast.

“Johnny, can you pick me up?”

“Please, i wouldn’t ask if i wasn’t desperate”

Shortly after, he hangs up, turning to you.

“Who was that on the phone?” you ask, strolling out of the bathroom drying your hair with the fancy white robe that has your initials threaded ever so beautifully on the upper left hand side wrapped around your damp body.

“It was Sue...” he draws the name out, clicking his tongue, unsure of how to say he has to abandon you for a while.

“Is everything okay?” you stand between his legs after tossing the towel into the hamper and he rests his hands on your waist “she needs me to pick her up from Reeds place” 

But you have no issue with that. From the moment you and Johnny got together, it was abundantly clear how protective he is over Sue. Despite her being his older sister. He’s made it his duty to be there whenever she needs and from what he could hear over the phone, she needs him. Now more than ever.

“Go” you say softly, barely above a whisper as you lean down to press a quick kiss to his forehead.

“But, i don’t want to leave you. We had plans”

“Johnny, look at me. Go. She obviously needs her brother right now and who am i to interrupt that? Just know you can always bring her here if you want, i won’t mind. But whatever you decide, text me. Okay?”

He just stares up at you with pure adoration and respect. You’re everything to him and it shows.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just really love you, so much” your heart warms and your knees turn to jelly.

“I love you too ya big goof, now go get your sister”

A quick make out session later and he’s on his way, speeding of course to get to her within record time. Once he arrives, he’s lost for words. 

She gets into his car, sobbing like he’s never heard or seen before. Words aren’t even able to come out of her mouth and seeing as he got her from Reeds place, he must be to blame.

“What did he do to you?” he growls through gritted teeth, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turn white “Sue what did he do to you?” he asks again, hoping for an answer this time. So she starts to slow her breathing, wiping tears before turning to look at her younger brother with a look of heartbreak.

“I asked him about me moving in again” little pauses in between are taken for her to gather herself “we got into a huge argument about it and unlike our other ones, it ended in me finishing with him” she barely finishes the sentence without breaking back into hysterical crying. 

Although she finished with him, she didn’t want to. She just couldn’t handle his inability to take their relationship seriously and take the natural next steps in their relationship.

As two grown adults, it’s only natural to move in with each other at this point. And he won’t do that, he’s unable to commit.

“Right, wait here” he unbuckles his seatbelt but Sue stops him before he can even get out “Johnny, no. This is over, i ended it. All i want is to go home” she pleads, pulling him closer. He gives her a hug before sighing and putting his seatbelt back on and turning the key in the ignition to pull out of the space he’s in.

“Where’s Y/N?” she asks, checking the back seat, as if somehow she missed any signs of someone else being in the car. What with all of her crying, it’s possible.

“She’s at her place, that reminds me actually, i’ll call her when we get home” he responds, weaving through the traffic and trying his best to get his sister home efficiently. She could really do with her own bed to relax as much as possible.

“Didn’t you have plans to stay at hers tonight?”

“Yeah, we planned a movie night. Why?” he says, stealing glances occasionally to check she’s okay.

“Omg, Johnny. I’m so sorry. You know what, drop me home and go back to her, I’ll be fine once i’ve got a huge glass of wine and a bubble bath” he can see right through her pretences, she’s only saying all of this to get him to do right by you. After all the two of you did have plans.

“No. I’m staying in with you. You need me right now. Y/N is fine, she told me to stay with you”

“Johnny, she’s also a priority. I’d hate for you to make plans and ditch just for me”

“I’m not ditching Sue, i’m being a supportive brother. I’m coming home with you and that’s final”

Wow. She’s never seen him so angry, so assertive.

Usually it’s her taking care of him all of the time. How the tables have turned.

“Did you eat with Reed before the argument or are you hungry?” 

She shakes her head “i’m starving” 

Pit stop at McDonalds it is then. 

And as soon as food is devoured, she takes her bath and then gets ready for an early night, a much needed one for that matter.

Johnny sits on the edge of her bed, talking with her about everything that went down tonight.

“I don’t get it Johnny, almost 3 years with him and he still can’t commit to me. Why?” tears fill her eyes and he looks down, it’s hard to see her like this, knowing he can’t do anything to take the hurt away. All he can do is just hold her and tell her how much he cares.

“I don’t know, all i know is he’s a fool. You’ve done a lot for him, supported him during some hard times and he can’t even move in with you. It’s weird and i don’t trust him now”

“I love him so much” she pulls her legs to her chest, burying her face in between her knees and suddenly all the tears she’s held back for the last couple hours pour out.

“I know, come here” he scoots closer, holding her in his arms and rocking her back and forth to somehow soothe her.

“He’ll never hurt you again, i promise you that. I got you. Shhh” her tears wet his shirt until eventually she starts to feel sleepy, lying down and closing her eyes.

“I’ll always take care of you” he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he gets up to leave the room.

Nothing will ever hurt his sister again, he swears it.

-----------------------------

Fast forward, 2 years later and here you are. In bed with Johnny in the place you still don’t share together. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because you’re both still young, you don’t want to rush anything when you’re both so happy with how things are.

“Good morning baby” you hear as you sit up to find Johnny in the doorway, naked.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, huh?” you smirk, unable to refrain from biting your lip. He stalks towards you before joining you on the bed and pulling you on top of him.

“Johnny” you squeal, leaning down to kiss him and let’s just say, any time you kiss this man, it gets heated. How can it not when he looks so good.

“I say we ditch all plans of going out and stay in bed all day long” 

You nod your head in agreement “won’t get no objections from me” 

The two of you giggle, kissing once again before his phone interrupts the fun.

“Hello” he says, more like he’s asking a question than greeting someone “Sue? What now?” he groans, rolling his eyes to which you shove him for.

“As in the next hour? Why? Ugh fine, i’ll be there” he hangs up, chucking his phone down on the bed and getting off to head into the bathroom.

“What is it?”

“She wants me to join her for some job she’s doing for Victor” 

“Can i know what job?”

“Not exactly, or at least not until i know the full story myself. I’m gonna shower, okay? Then i gotta go?”

You nod with a pout, not wanting him to leave. He’s been quite present lately with you. Never missing dates or important anniversaries and he’s been more charming than usual but now he’s leaving. You know that you weren’t gonna have him wrapped up in your apartment forever though. 

He showers as quickly as possible, dressing himself in whatever clothes are left in your closet from this last week spent at yours.

“I love you, okay? I’ll come back afterwards to make it up to you” you stand on your tip toes, kissing him deeply before he really needs to leave “i love you too and you better”

And just like that, he’s gone.

-------------------------

“This better be good, or els-”

“Johnny”

“Victor” he mutters, Johnny has never been keen on Victor and it shows. The way the creep is constantly all over Sue like a rash trying to charm her all the time. It’s downright annoying and hard to watch.

He knows his game and he figured him out a long time ago.

“Johnny” Sue waltzes in, hugging Johnny the second she can.

“So, what am i here for?” he asks, taking a seat but now in walks Reed Richards and Ben Grimm. Ones a douche bag and the other is an even bigger douche.

“Oh i don’t think so, no way. What is he doing here?”

“Johnny, calm down. Reed presented an idea to Victor” Sue explains, even she’s keeping her cool more than he is and she’s the one that was left shattered by Reed.

“No. I refuse to be involved” he steps up to Reed, jaw clenched and fists ready to punch him “you know you’re lucky, if it were up to me then 2 years ago, you’d have had two black eyes and now, there’s nothing stopping me from beating your ass”

Ben separates the two, Reed wouldn’t of done shit. But Johnny certainly would have.

“I know, i messed up Johnny. Sue knows that too. I apologised. She moved on and now i just want to get through this without more aggravation”

He speaks sense but no way is he going to allow Sue to work with this man. He’s horrible, he’s never had an ounce of respect for her, if he did then he would never have allowed things to end the way they did and he would never have gotten involved romantically if he didn’t want to settle down.

“I don’t care. You and me, outside now” he pokes his chest, moving past Ben to get to him before he makes the first move by pushing Reed, sending him stumbling backwards.

“Not gonna fight back, huh? No balls left? Oh wait, you didn’t have any to begin with” 

Sue widens her eyes as Victor and Ben chuckle a little. It’s funny seeing little old Johnny wound up like this but to see him mocking Reed, someone who’s been known to be stuck up. It’s amusing.

“I’m not gonna fight you Johnny, it’s not worth it” he holds his hands up in surrender.

“So it’s not worth it, just like you deemed my sister unworthy of your commitment then, is that it?”

“No, i loved your sister very much” he tries his best to talk Johnny out of punching him to the floor but it’s too late. His fist collides with his face. Sue yells, rushing to Reeds side instantly despite Victor being present, she’s always cared for Reed. Even after all that went down, he was her first love. 

“Johnny. That was completely unnecessary” her scolding has him even more angry than he was a second ago.

“Unnecessary? Sue the bastard had it coming” his best efforts to justify his behaviour are just ignored like they mean nothing to her “Johnny, he’s a colleague now. And so are you. So you can either apologise and move on or go home. Maybe Y/N can talk some sense into you”

He scoffs, turning his head to the side and resting his hands on his hips and after a couple minutes of silence in which Sue spends cleaning Reeds bloody nose up, Johnny finally gives in.

“Fine. I’m sorry Reed” 

Reed holds his hand out to shake Johnny’s and he obliges. Now maybe the work can commence.

------------------

Weeks after returning from space and Johnny is just starting to figure out his power, much like his sister, Reed and Grimm.

But one thing he just can’t figure out is what the hell is going on between Reed and Sue.

“Babe” he calls and you appear in the doorway to the living room “yes?” you ask, brows raised.

“Have you noticed Sue and Reed getting closer?” his brows furrowed, signalling that he’s thinking which is sometimes dangerous for Johnny, when he thinks to hard, he stresses and when he stresses sometimes it can trigger his power.

“I mean, they did used to date Johnny, they’re gonna have some kind of bond”

“Yeah but i mean, close as in flirty” he shudders at those words, the thought of his sister being flirty with a guy makes him cringe.

“I dunno, ask her what’s going on if you wanna know so badly”

“No. I can’t do that, i’ll be meddling and she hates when i do that”

You shrug at him now before going back to baking cookies. 

You have a point and so does he, surely if he wants to know so badly he can just ask, Sue would probably prefer that as opposed to him snooping around but also it would still be seen as meddling which is wrong.

She swore she’d never go back to Reed and he swore to prevent her from doing so. After all, she deserves better and he can never commit.

Once he’s showered and up for the day, he agrees to meet Sue and the others at Reeds place to do some experimenting with these new abilities should he say.

“Whaddup sister, douchebag, rock” he pretends to tip his hat at them all as he enters but soon notices Reed and Sue stood awfully close.

“What’s all this then?” 

They step back almost as if they repulse one another before turning to face Johnny “you’re here, great. We can get started” Sue smiles acting weirdly suspicious.

“Not until you two tell me what’s been up with you? You’ve been very cosy lately, what’s going on?” 

Reed glances at Sue briefly before they both blurt out “we’re dating again”

Oh hell no.

“Not on my watch you’re not. Sue he hurt you i don’t get it”

“Johnny i get that you’re protective but i’m okay. I’m a grown woman and besides, we’re taking things very slow this time”

“She’s right, we aren’t going to rush anything and-”

“I swear, if you hurt her again, i won’t hold back, you’re a dead man” their faces inches apart and you can practically hear Reed gulp out of fear. Johnny isn’t usually taken seriously but with how he punched him weeks ago, Reed is certain he’ll live up to that promise and finish the job.

“I promise, i’ll take care of her, for real this time”

“You better”

Seconds later Grimm interrupts, coughing “if you two pussy’s are done having a moment, can we please get me out of this awful state”

“Aw what? You mean you don’t wanna remain a big rock forever?” Johnny smirks, waiting for Ben to growl and punch something “I suppose at least with your usual form, you’ll have ears”

Queue the rest of the day consisting of yelling and threats of fights. But they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

All Johnny has to do is keep an eye on Reed.

------------------------------

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferouss @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @kaminorogers @yassspose @randomsevans @evansphnx12 

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina @janeyboo 

LMK if you wanna be added to my tag list, thanks....

[junghelioseok]

content creator year in review.

tagged by the wonderful @yeoldontknow​ and @hobidreams​, thank you so much, babes! 💕

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: god, this feels like ages ago but it was the velvet devil! this wasn’t even a planned fic on my part, but it somehow evolved into the introduction to my shadowfolk universe, which is a universe that i fully plan to continue to explore, and actually do elaborate on further in the next fic i’m gonna mention down below 😂 most recent is untitled. | jjk, which is just a lil thing that i had on the brain one early morning 😂

one of your favorite creations from 2020: definitely without a doubt covenant. my hobifics always have a special place in my heart, and covenant is one that i’ve wanted to write for such a long time (mostly because werewolf!hobi lmao). i originally intended to post it on his birthday, just as i strive to do every year, but this one wound up being two months late. what can i say? the inner perfectionist in me jumped out, ahaha. 

a creation you’re really proud of: is it bad if i say covenant again? LOL. really, anything with ❦ next to it on my masterlist is a fic i’m proud of.

a new style you tried this year and a gifset/fic that uses it: i don’t think i’ve explored any new writing styles this year! had i been answering this last year, though, i would easily be able to say polaris. piecing this fic together took ages, and i literally had physical flashcards that i arranged and rearranged to make sure the chronology was right. 😅 all things considered, i would not write anything like that again, but i’m really happy i didn’t let it fall, unfinished, by the wayside. i’m really quite satisfied with how it turned out. 

a creation that took you forever: LOL. i take months and months to write a single fic. like, what i did this month, putting out both aubade and it takes two, is highly unusual for me. but! to answer the question, clandestine took/is still taking me forever to write. it’s been floating around my brain since 2018, and i’m just now starting to post it after deciding to break it up into chapters, lmao.

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: LMAO if we exclude this rant post i made about the stimulus bill, then wake up call definitely has garnered the most notes. which.............yeah. that checks out. 😏

a creation you think deserved more notes:  i have to go with apricity! i fell back in love with avatar: the last airbender this year when it was added to netflix, so i just had to write about it.

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: none spring to mind, tbh!

a creation you made that breaks your heart: i’m allergic to sad endings, but one of my favorite pieces that contains angst is crosshairs. i wrote it last year, i think, but i truly loved writing every second of it.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: well, if we’re defining “simple” as something that took me next to no time at all, then untitled. | jjk for sure. i was feeling very soft when i woke up that morning, and it shows. 🥺

creation that was inspired by another one: apricity is inspired by both avatar: the last airbender and anastasia! 

a favorite creation created by someone else: oh goodness! i will be the first to admit that i don’t read anywhere near as much as i maybe should, but i do have a rec blog here! all of the fics over there are amazing and wonderful, and i have several more sitting in my drafts waiting to be read. i’m going to try really hard to read more in 2021, but i have this weird thing where i feel almost guilty to be reading when i could be spending that time writing? it’s weird. idk.

some of your favorite content creators from the year: there is so much talent on this site, my god. a few that spring to mind (besides kat and rain, ofc) are @underthejoon, @fantasybangtan, @suga-kookiemonster, @kpopfanfictrash, @jjkfire, @lamourche, @jimlingss, @xjoonchildx, @yeojaa, @hoseoksyn, @winetae. i’m so sure i’m forgetting lots of others, sorry about that! 

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: oh, jeez! i think i’ve already mentioned every fic i wrote this year, as well as a few that weren’t! 

tagging: everyone mentioned up above! happy new year, everyone! 💕

[wkemeup]

I’ve been wanting to do something as a way to give back to the incredibly lovely people who have supported me in my writing, so I landed on hosting a new writing challenge! I haven’t been able to do as much reading on here lately, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to promote my fellow writers and share to an audience who have been so endlessly supportive! 

Rules: 

No need to ‘claim’ prompts! Let me know if you plan to participate and which prompt you’re going with if you’d like (because I’m nosy and excited)! Its not necessary though! Please reblog for signal boost ✨

This is meant to be a way to give back to my followers, so I’d ask that you’d be one of them, but I'm not requiring it. New friends are welcome! 

No limit on number of people per prompts and you can do as many as you’d like! :) 

Open to all Marvel characters and genres including fluff, angst, smut, AUs (*no non/con, dark, or underage) 

Use a ‘read more’ if over 500 words 

Tag @wkemeup and use #kas9kwc when you post your fic! Please send me a message or ask as well because I often lose notifications and may not see it! 

Include your prompt selection in the summary or a/n of your fic. 

Have fun and I can’t wait to see what you do with these prompts!  

Due May 29th 2021 if you’d like to be included in the master list! Otherwise, feel free to join and post whenever! 

Fluff Prompts 

✿ Character A initiates a prank war against Character B. Character B enlists Character C to help get revenge. 

✿ Character A accidentally ends a phone call to Character B with “I love you”  

✿ The moment Character A realizes they love Character B and it’s during the most simple, mundane moment 

✿ Character A reaches out to wipe away something at the edge of Character B’s lip and their thumb lingers longer than intended. Slowly, they lift their gaze to meet [B]’s. They suddenly realize how quiet it is.  

✿ Character A steps out of the elevator carrying paperwork piled up above their eyesight only to run directly into Character B. Papers go flying. Hands touch as they pick up the last folder. 

✿ Character A is feeling insecure about how they look. When Character B asks what’s wrong, [A] attempts to explain but [B] is genuinely confused because they can’t imagine a world in which [A] is anything but perfect. 

✿ Character A leaves an embarrassing, drunk message on Character B’s voicemail and spends the rest of the night trying to discreetly delete it from [B]’s phone.  

✿ Character A finds out Character B was stood up on a date. [A] is determined to show [B] what a real first date should look like.  

✿ Character A runs a flower shop downtown. Character B is terribly allergic to flowers. 

✿ Character A calls Character B in the middle of the night crying - something they’ve never done before. They’re several states away. [B] gets in the car without hesitation and drives to wherever they are. 

Angst (with a happy ending 🤞🏻) Prompts  

✮ Character A cleans Character B’s wounds after a rough mission. [A]’s fingers linger over scarred muscle as they finish wrapping the bandage.  

✮ Character A is the target of harassment on the street. Shamed, they pretend it doesn’t bother them. Until it happens in the presence of Character B, who reigns hell on whoever dared to upset [A] 

✮ The moment Character A realizes they love Character B and it’s during the most dangerous, inconvenient moment 

✮ Character A is being held hostage. Character B offers to trade themself in [A]'s place.  

✮ Character A is royally pissed off at Character B for being reckless on a mission. They don’t realize until after that amongst the screaming match, [A] confessed that they loved [B]. 

✮ Character A’s current boyfriend/girlfriend/partner mocks Character B for their crush on their best friend, [A]. [B], feeling humiliated, withdraws from the friendship with [A], who is completely oblivious [B] has feelings for them. 

✮ Believing they’re about to die, Character A confesses their feelings for Character B before they pass out.  

✮ Character A has a nightmare that ends up physically harming Character B. [A] refuses to sleep in the same room as [B] again in fear of it happening again.  

✮ Character A is possessed/controlled and attempts to harm Character B. [B] refuses to fight back in fear of hurting [A].  

✮ Character A is studying a fresh, nasty scar in the mirror. Character B approaches from behind, eyes drawn to the wound, an unreadable mix of anger and fear in their eyes as they say, “who did this to you?”  

Kas’ Favorite Artists Prompts

Dermot Kennedy – The Killer Was A Coward  See there's a hero in the crowd / and his heart starts beating loud / Says the killer took his friend / And decides that this is where it ends 

Pheobe Bridgers – Chinese Satellite  I've been running around in circles / Pretending to be myself / Why would somebody do this on purpose / When they could do something else? 

Taylor Swift – This Is Me Trying  I've been having a hard time adjusting / I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting / I didn't know if you'd care if I came back / I have a lot of regrets about that 

Hozier – Better Love  And I’ve never loved a darker blue / than the darkness I have known in you, honed in you 

The 1975 – Me & You Together Song  I've been in love with her for ages / And I can't seem to get it right / I fell in love with her in stages / My whole life 

Bleachers – Wake Me  If you're lonely lonely lonely wake me / I can't believe I captured your heart 

The Lumineers – Life in the City And if the sun don't shine on me today / And if the subways flood and bridges break / Will you just lay down and dig your grave? / Or will you rail against your dying day? 

Mumford and Sons – Delta  When it feels like nothing else matters / Will you put your arms around me? 

[moonlightjeno]

so like when youre free maybe you could do roommates!au + enemies to lovers + “you have the emotional capacity of a brick.” from the prompt list with im-not-even-gonna-say-his-name-because-you-know-it? hopefully with a happy ending idk maybe theyve both been burying their feelings for some time? dont push yourself and you dont have to do it if you dont want to 🥰 ly so much bubs ❤❤

asdfghj im so so so sorry this took me ages to actually write !! i do hope you like it’s seriously like just pure fluff and some small tiny angst but basically I want a jeno after this and you know why. 

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬: [roomate!au] +  [enemies to lovers] + [“you have the emotional capacity of a brikc”]

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: f l u f f and full on crackheads. this is a mess

creds to @mozartwasajungkookstan ,, ty for the help on how to start this!

Having a roommate or really lack thereof was nothing like the movies, especially when lee jeno was involved. It’s not like you saw him often, he seemed to spend most of his time either in his room the only sound coming either grunts or the click click of the video game controller that he seemed to be attached to dearly. You were almost sure he talked more to the tv screen in his room and his phone was six other voices would at times come through, seeping through the door. 

When your old roommate had suggested you move in with jeno, you had initially agreed. From what you’d heard from her he wouldn’t get much in your way, loved animals so wouldn’t mind you bringing your cat and he was cute. Jeno was the epitome of a perfect roommate according to the paper in front of you and Jaemin who’d had to leave you and therefore make you move because of a modeling gig he’d been presented halfway across the world. The boy at least had shown you pictures of the boy who you’d be spending the rest of the year with and when you’d first seen them you couldn’t deny that he was easy on the eye. The pictures that jaemin had shown you had done him no justice, had been your first thought when you’d the boy who’s black hair had been pushed back, clothes clinging to his body from sweat, a result of what you had later learned was from a late dance practice you had been stunned. The initial stun of his beauty quickly faded the moment he opened his mouth only to close it back up again, and turn around leaving you in the entrance hall. 

The relationship between the two of you didn’t grow much from the initial encounter. It seemed that jeno would either spend too much time outside and come back to your apartment marks left along his neck where he would maybe wave a hi to you, and if it was a good day wouldn’t complain about you taking up most of the space in the living room. On your defense, he never used it either way. At least that’s what you thought, it had never occurred to you that the boy was to shy to disturb you, or that anytime he would come in the living room only to find you concentrated, most of the time scribbling over papers across the desk that he didn’t want to bother you. Especially when you looked kinda cute, all concentrated on whatever it is you were working on, he never asked never dared to. 

Three months into the rooming and it seemed that you had traded the boy you loved and had grown to be one of your closest friends for a stone-cold dark-haired boy. Jaemin was a foil to jeno in every way possible that the english dictionary could come up with. Where jaemin would greet you by the door almost every day, and was ready to give you a hug and talk about your day to no end jeno wouldn’t. The most jeno would do was tell you what the weather was outside on the occasion you went out to get the groceries, but in the times of a global pandemic, those were few. No relationship seemed to blossom, not that either of you put much effort into making any sort of conversation, the most you would get out of jeno were vague nods or “mmhhhmmm” that always had you questioning if he was agreeing or disagreeing with you. It had seemed to become a sort of talent to be able to distinguish between the different noises that jeno would make, most of them when you were involved in the speech were negative. That is what one would gather from the low tone that would come from grunts, half of the time it was jeno not every really knowing what to say on the subject of the human body and it’s many muscles, he was a dance major he didn’t know. 

Five months and quarantine hits your city. It’s during moments in quarantine that you are grateful for it and the organized chaos it brings with it in the apartment. Well peace is you considered music blasting through the household as jeno practiced his dance and choreographed new routines while zooming with his even louder group of friends. The pumping music though made up because when you would see jeno a smile or the ghost of one would grace his features, and you two would at times, very small times would make conversation about the weather. Talking about the weather had truly just become a joke, as neither you or jeno could actually leave the apartment. Nevertheless, jeno never failed to remind you when it was going to rain, it was both sweet and slightly annoying you couldn’t quite decide. It was on rare days, when you would get back from a daily grocery shop run you would find dinner prepared. Too much of your surprise it had been edible the last two times he has cooked, and though not much conversation flowed between the two of you it seemed this hate to hate relationship had become a more of acquaintances to acquaintances. It was progress, and you couldn’t help but smile at it.   

There were times when you looked at him, times when you two though wouldn’t talk to each other but would decide that on that night you would maybe attempt to get along better. These scenarios tended to end up happening from the constant nagging that jaemin put you both through, a constant “just talk” and “i swear they aren’t as bad as you think” and you couldn’t forget his most recent one that drove you nuts to no end “are you sure you don’t just you know like him?”. The phone conversation tended to end with a beep the second those words left his mouth, only for jaemin to text you about it continually. You were happy when that jaemin lived so far away in those moments if not you were sure he would have died either from you or jeno. It was one of the rare things you two agreed on. 

“So… what movie do you wanna watch?” you posed the question, not expecting much of an answer apart from maybe a shrug or a complaint on why were the two of you doing this again. 

 “Ummm, are you good with avatar? I haven’t watched it in a while and the sequel is supposed to come out” the suggestion left you gaping at him, eyes wide at the fact he had directed more than five words to you.

“Hold up” the awe in your voice was very much present which caused jeno to turn around and look at you, “did you just actually give me a sentence?” you couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on your lips and it only grows when you see jeno, biting his lip a small attempt to stop his smile from showing. 

“And…” you move closer to him, sitting in front of him one hand pointing slightly at his lips, “are you smiling?” you can’t help the laughter that leaves your lips, and soon jeno has joined you. Though he stops quickly the moment you see him looking at you, a genuine smile on his face. 

“Whatever. Just play the movie” he grunts, shifting his boy to face the tv and hugging your cat next to him. If it weren’t for the fact that you were almost sure you’re cat loved jeno more than he loved you, even if jeno was allergic to them you would have tried to rob him back. But this was the most you’d gotten out of jeno and you sure as hell wasn’t about to ruin it.  

“I’m on it, i’m on it” you mumble, as you search through your disney+ account expecting to find the last few shows and movies you’d been binge-watching cars a childhood favorite of yours right at the top and avatar which at this point you almost thought you watched religiously right next to it. The moment the screen showed Cars, you heard a cough from beside you. Your glare on jeno made him look at you slightly eyes narrowing before he chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

“Why is Cars on here?” the question seemed to mock you and you only smiled. 

“Nostalgia. Why?” the movie brought up the fun and happy memories from when you were younger, you had watched it so many times the dvd had broken. 

“So it’s not because it’s just a bad movie and you wanted to make fun of it?” and just like that, you’re ready to fight jeno, even if the way his hair fell slightly across his eyes from not being cut in months, and the way is he moved just slightly you could see the muscles shift from beneath his white shirt. 

“Are you mocking Cars?” 

“Maybe. It has no emotional value” is his response, followed by a shrug as he turns again to face the tv eyes darting from the tv to you from his side-eye. Oh that’s it. You think bitterly before grabbing the pillow behind you and hitting jeno full face, your power yell leaving your lips. The thud the pillow makes as it collides with jeno’s face and the yelp that leaves his lips and you smile. 

“The fuck was that for?” he’s looking at you again, arms crossed against his chest, your cat no longer in sight.

“Because you” the emphasis on the word is caused by another hit in the shoulder, “have the emotional capacity of a brick.” jeno’s face is the only answer you need before you settle back into the couch, a proud grin adorning your face, until you are pulled by the waist a shriek leaving your lips. In some way you can’t fully understand you are now sitting on jeno’s lap, his face only centimeters from yours, and you can see the light specks of gold that swirl in his dark eyes. 

“No” the word is a whisper, and he moves closer to you, “i” you can feel his hands on your waist holding you in place “don’t” the movement is too fast for you too process but one moment your breaths are mixing and a noise you can’t place is in the background, and the next he’s kissing you. 

kissing jeno like everything related to jeno is nothing like you expected but everything you wanted. It’s slow and warm, and your hands come up behind his neck playing with the loose strands of hair. Kissing jeno is a new feeling, a way of conveying emotions when words between you two have always failed, and maybe just maybe it’s a confession because when you pull apart foreheads touching each other love-struck smiles on both of your faces you realize jeno isn’t that bad. 

“See?” a small peck to the lips, “my emotional capacity is beyond your reach” a grin replaces the small smile, “and i like you” another kiss, this time to the corner of your mouth and you thank the dark lights in the room from hiding the warmth from your cheeks. A small hmmm leaves your lips in response before you kiss him again, “i guess i like you too”

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Ticket: Admit One

Summary: Modern day AU, no powers, tiny!Steve, stucky.  Steve’s favorite band is playing one last show and Bucky helps talk him into going.

Warnings/ Content: swearing, light angst

Word Count: 833

Author’s Note: I apologize for throwing random angst out into the world but damnit I needed to work through some emotional shit today and this helped so much. I relate to pre-serum Steve Rogers more than any other MCU character so writing this was extremely cathartic. I haven’t done a modern day AU before so hopefully this isn’t total crap. But even if it is, at least it’s out of my head now.  XOXO - Ash

Ticket: Admit One

“I don’t know, Buck!” Steve yelled across the room yet again. His hands were shaking as they raked through his flop of blonde hair. 

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. They had been going in circles for twenty minutes. “Then you should go!”

“It’s not that simple.” Why couldn’t he just let it go? Why did he have to push and push?

“Explain it to me then!” Bucky’s voice rose to a volume he rarely used and then it was his turn to rake his hands through his hair in exasperation. Forcing himself to calm down, Bucky continued in a more measured tone, “Stevie. Help me understand. This is your favorite band. You listen to at least one of their songs on a daily basis, you, yourself, have sworn their music got you through some of the toughest times in your life, and this is their last show for the foreseeable future. Why? Why on earth are you not just buying a damn ticket already?” 

And the tenderness in Bucky’s voice was what broke him. Anger he could just defend himself against, but tenderness? That was too much for him to bear. “Because!” Steve shouted, no longer giving a shit if their neighbors could hear them. “I don’t trust my body not to fail me spectacularly! Something will happen and then it’ll all be for nothing!” Steve crumpled in on himself, falling down onto their old, worn out brown sofa with a loud creak. He wrapped his arms around his thin waist and just held on for dear life, willing the anger fueled tears to not start. 

“Stevie.” Bucky murmured, devastated by his outburst. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He crossed the room to take the seat next to Steve, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s shoulders. Steve pushed at Bucky but Bucky held tight and Steve gave up. He was an angry little shit but he was still hurting. “You’ll be fine.” Bucky told him, “We’ve planned things before and we always make it work. Why would this be any different?”

Steve sighed heavily, leaning into Bucky’s strong arms. “Because I’d be alone. You and Nat will be away on your work trip. Sam is still down in DC but he doesn’t have any time off. I would have to make the ninety minute drive myself, get to the venue, be jostled around all night at a high energy show, and then get myself home in the middle of the night.” 

“So it’ll be a long day. Just take the next day off work so you can rest up.”

“But what happens if my back decides to act up on the way down? I won’t be able to drive that long to get back or be able to enjoy the concert if I’m in too much pain. Or if my asthma starts up? Or if I eat something that we don’t know I’m allergic to yet? Or if I get one of my four thousand annual colds and can’t even get out of bed to go?” 

“Sweetheart, you can’t miss out on life because of what if’s. I know a lot could go wrong, but it’s not a guarantee that something will.”

“I’ll be alone, Buck. At least when someone is with me and something goes wrong I have back up, ya know? If I’m there by myself and shit hits the fan… I can’t even imagine.” 

“So we make a backup plan. The tickets are only a hundred bucks and it’s a popular show. If you end up sick or hurt and can’t go, we’ll sell your ticket online. Or hell, I’ll give you the hundred bucks if that happens. If you do go, take a break halfway there, get there early so you can rest before the show, and we’ll make sure Sam is on standby to come get you if anything goes wrong. He’ll only be thirty minutes away from there. If something happens, you know he’ll come.” 

“Why do you have to be so logical and determined?” Steve grumbled, starting to see Bucky’s point about it being feasible.

“Because I’m a planner, it’s just what I do. And I love you. I want you to be happy and this music makes you happier than most things in the world so you should go and see it live because you deserve that.” 

“Fuck.” Steve huffed, “I’m an asshole.” he leaned over and canted his head up to kiss his boyfriend, “I love you too. I’m sorry I’m stressing out about something I should be excited for.” 

“It’s okay, I know you’re worried and that’s okay. Now buy your damn ticket before they sell out.” 

“I’m doing this.” Steve said in disbelief as he scrolled through the ticket listings on his phone, “I’m really doing this.” Ten minutes and several dozen clicks later Steve had a third row pit ticket in his inbox and $120 less in his bank account. He couldn’t have been happier. 

[j-otter-ly]

A Love So Good, It Hurts | 1/?

Theme: Youngjae fluff, angst (if you squint), friends to lovers au!

Pairing: Youngjae x Reader

A/N: Oh my god, this is my first time writing a fanfic and actually sharing. I am nervous as fuck so please be nice. This is inspired by one of my dreams of Youngjae. When I was writing this, i did not expect it to be this long so im making it into (idk how many) parts. I hope you'll like it.

I want to know love, so good that it hurts. You always thought of love as a chore. Something just tires you out. Bores the hell out of you, that you always wanted to know what it would feel like to feel something so good that it hurts. To feel something so strong that you are rendered powerless, weak. You’ve met people every now and then who were able to make your heart skip a beat or two, able to make you forget your worries, able to make you forget you have your own body. But then, at some point it becomes tiring, it feels off, then you feel nothing at all.

You’ve let yourself believe that love is not supposed to feel like something you are forced to do. And this is the reason that you have never been in a relationship that lasts long. And you always thought that you’ll be fine like this, trying to get that love, a love so good it hurts.

You found yourself immersed in these thoughts and a tiny smile plastered your face.

“What are you smiling about? We are just crossing the street?” Youngjae asks, noticing you were smiling but looking far beyond him.

He asks the most mundane questions. If only he’d known what you were just thinking about, he’ll probably sport one of his ear-splitting laughs, or just smile the brightest smile in the world.

The universe might be playing games with me, you thought to yourself. For once, you're starting to believe that people should be careful what they wish for because the more you get to know about Youngjae, the more you think that you’ve found what you’ve been looking for, a love so good that it hurts. You were just dumbfounded that in a situation like this – being in love. And you bet it hurts.

“Look.” As you pointed at the stop sign shaped like a Christmas tree, trying to make an excuse for your smile.

“Cute.” he replies, smiling back, and you could swear your heart was about to jump every time he smiles directly at you. Your knees get a little weak when his eyes curve into two single lines, cheeks raised, and lips in a tight curved line. You wonder how long you can handle this, and how Youngjae, no matter what he does, will someday be the death of you.

The green light showed and the both of you cross the busy street together, almost touching arms due to the crowd swarming both of you closer. You were both on your way to meet your friends for a late dinner. The two of you have been friends for more than a year when your co-film major, JB introduced you to his group of friends. At first, you only hang out with JB’s friends when you’re with him, but eventually you began to get closer to them that they began contacting you separately, asking you out to hang out at the café just outside your university, or texting you about their cats, or asking you for girl advice. At some point, the line between you being just JB’s friend was gone, and you’re now part of their own little group.

Somewhere along being friends with them, you become closest to Bambam and Youngjae. You just bonded often since you almost have the same interests. It was just unfortunate that you were a little bit allergic to cats that you couldn’t visit Bambam as often as you visit Youngjae, and his uber cute dog. It was then unfortunate that when you began hanging out alone with Youngjae that you become more and more attached and soon enough, you felt yourself drift, and surprisingly, you let yourself drift towards Youngjae.

Your thoughts surprised you in a good way when Youngjae placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you that you should go left. His hands just having the right amount of pressure, but to be perfectly honest, you were kind of wishing that he would hold you tighter, closer, and longer. He slid off his hands when you turned left, and it disappointed you, pouting a little.

You continue to walk a little behind Youngjae, getting bumped by a bunch of strangers walking past you. It was a Friday and you guys decided to try out the new Japanese restaurant in one of the business districts around town.

As you both continue to walk trying to locate the restaurant, your mind wanders off towards Youngjae’s hands. He was wearing a pink sweater with sleeves longer than it should be, which hid most of his hands. You began wondering what it would feel like to hold them in yours, and what it would feel like to intertwine your fingers with his. You started to think of the day when you were playing games with the boys where in they have to guess which body part they were touching while blindfolded. JB made the remark that Youngjae’s hands were soft, and actually thought it was your hands. You all laughed at how red Youngjae’s ears have become. You shook your head, trying to get a clear mind.

As he walked in front of you, your eyes drift towards his hands. And as if you were being possessed by a ghost, you grabbed his hand. Your action took you by surprise, but it was actually Youngjae who was even more surprised. He stopped walking and looked directly at you, saying nothing, waiting for an explanation. But to be perfectly honest, you don’t have one, and can’t make yourself to verbalize most of your thoughts. You ended just giving him a smile and a tiny shoulder shrug. You thought that he would find it weird that you suddenly held his hand, in public, with a hundred strangers around you. But your heart skipped so many beats you thought of getting your heart checked up for arrhythmia; because instead of letting your hands go, he tightened his grip, and you swore to god that your knees may have broken down when he intertwined his fingers with yours. You wanted to see his face but as his legs were longer, he kept leading the way but you were certain you saw him smiling at himself.

You were trying so hard to focus on walking properly but your thoughts drift away more and more. So, this is how it feels like to hold his hand, you thought to yourself. He kept leading you until you need to go on an escalator. You were disappointed that your happiness will have to end soon. You shook your head when you started wishing that you two could take the stairs so that you can continue holding his hand.

He stepped on the escalator first, and you loosened your grip to let go of his hand. Your heart breaking just a little, as you let go of his hand, you yourself should get a grip on your thoughts. You did not expect that Youngjae was not going to let go of your hand. You were still behind him, keeping you both on the right side of the escalator, he loosened his grip but kept holding onto your pointer finger while he looks up. You ran your thumb against his thumb. JB was right.

“About what?” Youngjae asks, turning to his side to get a better view of you as you were on a a step below him.

“Did I say that out loud?!” you say, scrunching your nose at the embarrassment that your thoughts escaped your head.

“JB was right about what?” He keeps asking, a little smile on his lips. As you both get to step off the escalator, you answered his question.

“Your hands are indeed soft.” You couldn’t look at him directly so you just turned your head to the other direction. Youngjae on the other hand, just kept looking at you, with sparkles on his eyes, because he couldn’t believe that you are holding his hands, and that he liked it so much.

He returned his fingers around yours and kept walking towards the restaurant. This was the first time that the two of you shared this kind of skinship.

You share a couple of hugs now and then when both of you don’t see each other for a long time. Sometimes you keep your arms linked together when you walk around the university, but you also do that to Bambam, so you thought that Youngjae wouldn’t think of it in any other way, but you thought wrong. Whenever you link your arm around his, he couldn’t help but to blush for a bit, and smile like a giant child getting what he wished for. It scared Youngjae that he might like you more than you liked him, and it scared him more whenever you hang out with him alone. He sure did liked it, but it was hard to focus when you lounge around his apartment playing with Coco. He could not stop himself imagining having you to himself. More often than not.

But he couldn’t do anything about it. Or rather wouldn't dare to.

As you saw the Japanese restaurant, you remembered that you were meeting your other friends and that maybe it’s time for you to let go of his hand. But that thought apparently did not come into Youngjae’s mind. He kept holding your hand as you entered the restaurant. You both were looking for your friends until you saw JB and Bambam sitting at a booth in the far right side of the restaurant. You were wishing that Youngjae would let go of your hand already so that the boys won’t see what’s up.

The universe might be really playing tricks on you because when you both sat down the at the table, him beside Jb, and you beside him, no one spoke of what was going on. Bambam just gave you a confused look when JB and Youngjae were talking. You shrugged at him.

JB got both Bambam’s and Youngjae’s attention asking about the new camera he has bought just a while ago.

You didn’t notice how you’ve been holding your breath until Youngjae looked at you. He looked at you so softly that you thought it was impossible that he was able to take your breath away when your lungs felt tighter and tighter begging for you to breathe. When he looked away to ask Bambam about something, you were relieved when Bambam was reaching for JB’s camera to give it to Youngjae to show him something, and finally you would be able to breathe and let go of his hand.

No matter how much you would like to hold Youngjae’s hand, it felt weird to do this in front of your friends, especially when you don’t know what was going on and what you’ve gotten yourself into. Not that you hate it, you just want to know what’s up first.

When you saw Youngjae was going to reach for the camera, you loosened your grip, anticipating for Youngjae to do the same. But he didn’t. Instead, he placed your hand on top of his thighs close to his knee. He pressed your hand once, as if saying “don’t you dare remove this.” You watched him reach for the camera, and took this opportunity to drink the water served infront of you, with your free had, because the other felt like it’s frozen.

They three of them talked about how to use the camera and such as you listened to them resting your head on your free arm on the table, craning it to get a better look at the three. You were still waiting for Mark and his girlfriend, and decided to order when they come since you guys weren’t not hungry that much.

You kept your hand where Youngjae wanted you to place it. And it surprised you that Bambam and JB didn’t make a fuss about it. You continued to listen to them bicker whether the button at the bottom will rewind the film or not. Bambam asked you to look at it too. Youngjae handed it to you, and you held the camera with both hands, they were waiting for your verdict.

“Yep, this will rewind it. I have the same thing with one of mine.” You told them handing the camera back to JB. You placed your hand on the table and the other back to cradle your head.

You and Youngjae haven’t exchanged a single word since you entered the restaurant. But for some reason, you felt like Youngjae doesn’t need to speak as he kept showing you what he was thinking through his actions. As you were playfully fiddling with the placemat on the table, when JB and Bambam looked at the menu, he grabbed your hand and placed it back on his thigh, placing a hand on top of yours. You did not complain and just continued to watch him, now you’re the one waiting for an explanation. Youngjae himself, doesn’t know what has gotten into him.

But when you held his hand first it sparked something in him that he doesn’t want to waste any second not being able to hold you, even if it’s just your tiny hands next to his. He fumbles on his phone not paying attention to you, as you kept staring at him. As you were about to grab the menu from the center of the table, you were greeted by Mark and Wendy. Youngjae removed his hand on top of yours and fist bumped his hyung. Wendy went to peck you on the cheek and as well as Mark. When Mark moved in closer to you, Mark saw that your hand was on youngjae’s thigh. And gave you almost the exact same reaction as Bambam but now, all of them are focused on you. Including Youngjae. It startled you, being the center of attention, so you removed it abruptly, and grabbed your phone on your pocket. You just smiled. And you almost swore to god that you saw Youngjae pout in your peripheral vision.

The rest of the night went ablur. There were stories of Mark being a dumbass getting caught making out with Wendy at their dorms, stories about Bambam turning into a cat lady, and stories about JB's new inspiration for his songs. You always had a good laugh whenever Youngjae tries to speak with Wendy in English because he always uses his fake English accent. You got a habit of hitting Youngjae’s arm when you laugh and it doesnt bother him because he does the same with they boys. He probably thinks that you got thay habit from him.

The dinner ended and it was you, JB, and Youngjae at the table while Bam went to the restroom. Mark and Wendy already went home. You and JB were talking while Youngjae sat back with his arms crossed listening to both of you.

"JB, who is she?" You ask him.

"There's nothing to tell. Yet." When he added the 'yet' you reached out to him to hit his arm making Youngjae lean back a little more.

"I'm going to get Bam. It's like you don't need me here." Youngjae stands up abruptly, leaving you and JB alone. JB didn't mind him, but you noticed a little bit of salt by what he said last.

"Do I know her?" You continue to ask JB about this mystery girl.

"Maybe. Maybe not." JB kept teasing.

"Ugh, you're so..." You said saking your head and taking a gulp of your drink.

"You! What's up with you and ~" he looks towards the restroom where Youngjae went. "I didnt say anything because you surprised me, but care to explain?" he said, pausing waiting for your answer.

"I don't know, Beom." Shaking your head, looking down at your hands, thinking how fast this day passed and what you’ve gotten yourself into. Jb reaches out to tossle your hair like a puppy.

"Well, whatever it is, you looked happy. I mean, more relaxed around him today. You can talk about it with me, you know that."

Youngjae couldn't hear what you guys were talking about anymore. He didn't intend to sound annoyed when JB and you decided to exclude him in the conversation, and kind of walking out on to get Bam. But it didn't help his mood when he saw JB play with your hair like that. He knows you were just close, probably closer that him. Youngjae shakes his head while he calls out for Bambam to hurry up.

Youngjae returns but doesn't sit back next to you. He grabs the camera in front of JB.

"Can I try this, hyung?" he asks JB who is now busy with his phone. JB just nods yes.

"Smile!" Youngjae tells you and you pose placing both of your hands on your chin. Flash.

"That better look good, Twae." You said.

"You always look good." He said back. You could feel your cheeks warm up. Youngjae was more surprised that he said that out loud. It was too late to take it back. He was just glad that JB was busy on his phone and Bambam was still in the restroom.

"Ah, Bambam is taking too long." JB stood up and said he was going to get Bambam, leaving you and Youngjae alone.

"Come here." Youngjae instructs you. Much to your surprise, you liked hearing Youngjae speak like that more than you should. You got up and sat beside him. He sets up the camera on one hand and grabs your waist closer to him. He wanted to take a picture of you both.

You were suddenly out of breath having him close to you like this. You can smell the sweet scent of his hair, and musky scent of his perfume. It didnt help that his hand now rests on your waist holding you closer. You try your best to smile and breathe before you faint. But it didn't help when you felt something cold on your cheek. Youngjae’s lips is now on your cheek. It was cold and a little bit moist. Flash.

It was as quick as he took the photo, but to you it felt like time stopped. Youngjae is not usually like this. You began to wonder why is he acting this way. You thought that maybe because you held his hand but you were pretty damn sure that it would mean nothing to him or if it does, it would just be because you were friends and comfortable enough with each other. Maybe he likes you back, dummy, the voice behind your head said. You believe that it is nearly impossible for someone like Youngjae take interest in you. He's just being playful, you thought back.

"Let's go, let's go!" Bambam almost startled you as he was almost running trying to get away from JB.

"Are you riding with us?" JB asks you. You looked at Youngjae as he was your ride on the way here. JB lives closer to your dorm, it would make more sense if you ride back with them. Youngjae looks at you.

"Hm, no, it's okay. Youngjae can take me home." You said, which made Bambam gasp dramatically. Youngjae’s ears were red as an apple.

"I meant take me home to MY dorm! You perv!" You said, hitting Bambam's arms twice before he retreats behind Youngjae.

"Ok, Bam, let's go!" Jb calling Bambam. "See you guys."JB said walking to the other direction.

"Let's go home?" Youngjae asks you tugging on the sleeve of your sweater. He looked like a cute puppy and everytime he does this, your heart melts a little.

You two might just be going home. You two were still jist friends. But for you, something has definitely changed. Your mind begins to wander. What if.

2?

[heartbreaker-johnny]

Threshold (Ten Oneshot)

(credit to the gif artist obviously)

pairing- Ten x OC

genre-angst, fluff

Summary- I wanted to write a bunch of Halloween oneshots but I got sick over Halloween and I had to work a lot so they're coming out now sorry don't hate me ok thanks bye!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared up at the moon, fully aware that in a few hours it would be Halloween. I had been preparing since last year for this night to come again. My small house was spotless and I had picked out the perfect clothes, or so I thought.  I was both excited and nervous.

Ten had always suggested that we avoid my house; he said it would make him feel too comfortable. Too human. He didn’t want to feel that. That’s also why I only saw him three times a year. My birthday, Christmas and Halloween. We stayed in contact through texts and calls; sometimes he’d leave presents on my window. He said it was safer if he was kept at a distance, away from temptation. If we hung out it was always in a public place and always at night, when he felt more comfortable. Daylight wouldn’t kill him, but it was almost as if he was allergic to it. We stayed in the dark, just us two. This had been going on since I was 14. I was now 22.

This year was going to be different through. I had finally talked Ten into coming in my house. He didn’t exactly need my permission, it being Halloween and all, but I figured what better way to have him come in, than to have him enter my home without me telling him it was okay.

As the clock struck twelve, I decided I might as well go to sleep so I wouldn’t be exhausted tonight. No doubt Ten would just give me hell if I was.

Just as I took off my shirt off to change into my pj’s. I felt a breeze behind me and I heard something hit my window. I turned around to find Ten perched there, the cheekiest grin I’d ever seen on his face.

“Morning princess.” He said, eyeing me up and down. “Although by the looks of it you’re calling it a night already.”

“Jesus Christ Ten, do you have to sneak up on me like that?” I said, covering myself out of embarrassment. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming until tonight?”

“that was the plan. But then I realized, if I came over now, I could spend almost two days with you instead. I’ll just leave at dawn tomorrow.” He shrugged. “Figured might as well take advantage of tonight as much as I can.”

I nodded slowly, absorbing the new plan. It made since, why hadn’t we planned that earlier?

“I could come back later if you’re too tired.” He said, still smirking at me.

“No, its fine. I just need to get redressed. I kinda of had a plan for tonight but I guess I can scrap it.” I said, slipping my shirt back on.

“I’m sorry. I know how much of a big deal this was to you.” He frowned.

“We can still stick to my plans.” I suggested.

"Yeah? What do you suggest?” He said, raising his brows.

Meet me downstairs? I wanna do this right. It’s important.” I said.

He rolled his eyes, but leapt out of my window and down to the ground.

I scrambled down the stairs and to the front door. I checked myself in the small mirror on the wall next to the front door. It wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to look like, but I didn’t look like a corpse. Bad choice of words.

I opened the door to find Ten in all his glory. As always, he had found a way to make his simple leather jacket over a blue t shirt and jeans, look like the most expensive thing off a pairs runway. Then again, the beauty was for a purpose. How else would he catch his pray?

“Are you gonna-“

“No.” I said, cutting him off. “Just do it.”

He smiled a little, and then slowly took steps forward until he passed the threshold of my house. I took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him and turned back to me.

“How does it feel?” I asked him nervously.

He contemplated it for a moment before he spoke.

“Freeing kind of. I almost feel normal.” He smirked to himself.

I smiled back at him. This was all I wanted out of this night. I just wanted him to be happy.

“What about you? How does it feel to have a vampire in your house?” he asked.

“No different than having a human in my house.” I shrugged.

“A human couldn’t end your life in a split second.” He smirked.

“They could, they would just be flashier about it than you.” I smirked at him.

He chuckled as he walked up to me.

“I could make your death flashy.” He assured me.

“Please. Who else would put up with you? You aren’t made to be alone.” I rolled my eyes.

He laughed once.

“That’s exactly what I was made for.” He said bitterly.

I rolled my eyes and took his cold hand in mine. It never failed to make me jump a little every time I touched him.

I pulled him through the house, showing him all the rooms he’d never seen before. We ended up in my bedroom, where I suddenly felt nervous. I’d never had anyone in my room, not even another human.

Ten looked around my room, looking closely at the decorations and photographs around the room. He had a smile on his face, so I was a little reassured that he didn’t find my room childish or anything. I watched him cautiously, uneasy and unsure of what to do or say.

"You know, this is exactly what I thought your room would look like.” He smiled at me.

“Is that a good thing or bad thing?” I asked, fiddling with my thumbs.

"Relax its good. It’s cute, it’s very you. I kinda wish my room looked like this.” He said.

“Really? Why?” I asked, confused on why he’d want sure a girly room. Okay, it wasn’t that girly but still.

“It’d make being away from you easier.” He said, taking a seat on my bed.

I sat down next to him, retaking his hand and drawing shapes into his icy palm.

“If you hate being away from me so much, then why do you do it?” I asked, quietly.

“Leila, you know I can’t. It’s too dangerous.” He said, I could hear the sadness in his voice.

“It’s not though.”

“It is. If I get too close, if I get too thirsty or too angry…I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you.”

"Ten you’ve had plenty of chances to hurt me and you never have. You’ve known me since I was 14 and you’ve never once done anything to me.”

“Trust me, my self-control gets weaker the older you get.”

“Ten,” I turned his face to look at me. “I’m tired of this game. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be so far away from you anymore.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking for Leila.”

“Yes I do! I’m asking to not be sad all year without you. I’ll get blackout curtains, I’ll change my hours at work so I can be here with you at night. You can feed from me so you won’t have to find a random-“

“No Leila, I can’t!” He pushed my hand away and standing up. “Do you know how hard I have worked these past 8 years trying not to kill you? I can smell your blood from miles away and it’s the most intoxicating think I’ve ever experienced. If I were to feed from you, I could kill you. I could lose control and then you would be gone forever. I can’t lose you like that; you mean more to me than anyone ever has.”

“Ten I get that. I feel that way too. Maybe you could…”

He refused to look at me; I think he knew what I was getting at.

“Maybe I could what, Leila?” He challenged.

This wasn’t the night I wanted to talk about this, but it might as well come out now. It was stupid to keep pushing it off. I was only getting older.

“Maybe you could change me…” I said, almost in a whisper.

“No. Out of the question.” He said immediately.

“Ten-“

“NO LEILA!” He whipped around to look at me, his eyes now red.

I’d only seen his eyes change two times, neither of them had been caused by me. I froze, afraid of him for the first time since I met him.

“Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me? I’d be killing you. You’d be damned to walk the earth forever, just like me. You’ll have to feed and avoid the sun and you’ll watch every person you love die, while you stay here, by yourself. Is that really what you want?”

“I wouldn’t be alone. I’d be with you. I’ll have to see people I love die anyway. But I love you more than anyone. Everything else…it’s just what I’d have to do to be with you.”

He looked away and stared out the window. I could tell by the look on his face, he was defeated.

“You don’t mean that. Don’t say you love me. You love the idea of me.” He said, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.

I got off the bed and wrapped my arms around his torso, hugging him from behind.

“I do love you Ten. I love you for who you are, not because you’re a vampire. You could be the biggest creep in the world and I’d still love you. I just want to be with you.”

He was silent for a long time, I only squeezed him tighter. I was worried that I’d seriously ruined things. Had I taken it too far? Was it not the time to confess? It was only when he finally turned around in my arms did I get my answer.

“I love you too.” He said, cupping my face in his hands. “The second I saw you something drew you to me more than anything ever had. It took me years to realize it was your soul. When you were 18, it hit me. I loved you. I didn’t know I still had that ability. I thought it was taken from me the day I was changed. You are the humanity that I have left.”

I beamed up at him, feeling the blush spread across my face.

“But I’m not changing you. Not yet. Let’s just give this a try first. Let’s see if we can stand being around each other every day. After that, I’ll consider it. I just don’t want to end everything for you if you change your mind later.” He explained.

“I won’t but that doesn’t matter now because you just agreed to be with me and that’s all I ever wanted.”

I reached up and caught him off guard, pressing my lips to his. He chuckled into the kiss at first but then returned it, with just as much passion as I had.

The night may not have gone how I planned, but it ended up being more than I ever wanted.

[spnbaby-67]

Her Surprise Chapter 3

Summary: Your best friend takes you to a Vancouver Convention for your Birthday, how will you react to some fans who truly don’t know what it means to true SPN Family. Will you stay? Or will you close down?

A/N: Hey all, here is chapter three, hope you like it. it’s full of angst, also some good news on this. I decided to make this into a fic series, so there will be more than the original five chapters I had intended. Thank you to Gaynor, @secretlyfurrydragon Ya’ll I cant mention enough how much she has helped me on my writing, she’s an amazing writer herself so please go check out her blog on @secretimpala67 and her AO3 account, i’ll get the link soon. She’s awesome, sweet, and very patient with me. So thank You Gaynor for your help. My stories are not to be posted on any other website without my full consent, gifs i use are not mine they are the editors who made them. Also please  no hate on Danneel, I love her to bits and I can’t wait to see her on SPN. Ok lets read. Also I am kind of nervous about this chapter, I’m going by what I experienced at a convention before, so part of the readers troubles are of mine as well. *I’m kind of nervous about this one but let me know what you think. love ya’ll 

Pairing; Jensen Ackles and Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt reader! losing confidence, overweight reader, some fans not being nice. Language, (i’m sorry i cuss)

Her Surprise. Chapter 3

Catch up Here.

Reader’s POV

After we left Starbucks, I was grinning from ear to ear. I still can’t believe we ran into Jensen and Jared, I mean how fucking cool is that? In all honesty, truth be told, I was overly excited, that I even had a skip in my step as I walked. Haven’t done that since I was a kid, it was awesome. Meeting them was unexpected and a once in a lifetime opportunity right there. I barely heard Ari tell me to calm down. Quit acting like a kid.  I mean fuck what did she want me to do? Not get excited at all? Um I don't think that's an option for me right now.

One, I’m hyped up on sugar and marshmallows, and two, I just met Jensen fucking Ackles. So how am I supposed to calm down after that? Nope no way, not gonna happen, I can literally die happy now. Besides, she was fawning all over Jared, so what’s the big deal? I can’t help how hyped up I get when I’ve had too much sugar, she knows this so I don't really understand what's the problem is with her.

I know some fans get lucky enough at some conventions who get to see them out in the normal world. But me, this just doesn’t happen. I'm never usually that lucky to have anything good or even amazing happen to me. I’m still reeling it in, trying to remember their cologne, their conversation, hell everything. The way Jensen smiled, and laughed as his nose crinkled in that adorable way. Yep he’s fucking adorable all right.

“What’s wrong Ari? You’re acting like you're upset at something. Was it something I did?” I asked her as we walked into the hotel lobby.

“No it wasn't you and I’m not upset Y/N,” she paused a bit and when she does that, I know she's hiding something from me. “It’s just so overwhelming. I can’t believe we just met Jared and Jensen, total dream come true for sure.” She pushed the button for the elevator, then turned her back to lean against the wall as we waited for it. She wouldn't even look at me.

I studied her body language, I gotten used to her over the years I've know her and could read her like a book, “I know, me to.” I played along with her game, “It was totally awesome, this weekend is going to be the best. But If there was anything wrong, you’d tell me right?” The elevator ding and the doors open, we got on and she pushed the button to our floor.

She smiled at me reassuringly, “Y/N, I’m ok honestly. Do you want to order in, or go out before we register for our tickets?’

“We have to register?” I asked her as we got off the elevator.

“Yeah, it’s from 8:00 to 9:00 pm for Gold members, I figured we can go eat first, then register and get our passes, then come back to our room and strategize our plans for tomorrow.” She opened the door to our hotel room, threw her purse on the desk by the door, grabbed a bottled water from the fridge we had bought previously, then went to sit on the couch.

“Yeah, sounds goods to me. I'll just go shower and change.” I took my scarf and jacket off then laid them on the bed before gathering comfortable clothes for a shower. I poked my head out of the bathroom for a moment and  watched Aeryn a bit longer and saw that something was bothering her, the way she sat slumped on the couch looking down at her phone. I decided not to push it because when she gets this way, she will close down on me if I keep at it. I'll talk to her when the time is right and see what's going on then, but for now shower.

Ari’s POV

Meeting Jared and Jensen was purely awesome to say the least, it was magical and unexpected. The way they talked to us, paid attention to us, and even spared a few minutes telling us whatever was on there minds. It was definitely a dream come true for the both of us. I’m not upset at Y/N and I know she senses something is wrong, to tell you the truth there is something wrong and I don’t want her to know what I heard or saw. I’m pissed as hell about it and ready to knock someone’s teeth out. It’s all over twitter which I’m thankful Y/N doesn’t have, she had told me time and time again it was just something to waste time on. She’s right of course, but I have it and now I see things on there that she doesn’t and I don't really want to see either. I mean I thought we are supposed to be family, not judge others just because of their weight. Family, true family don’t do that. I know once she see’s it, it’ll break her. I know what it's going to do to her.

Apparently, someone at Starbucks recorded our little dance we do every time we hear Carry On My Wayward Son, posted it on twitter and made nasty comments about Y/N. She’s a good person, sweetheart of a friend, and to me a sister I never had. I only asked her to stop acting like a kid because of what I saw, I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire  I mean they already had an advantage on her, why make it worse?  I didn’t want her to think it was anything else, so i just changed my attitude. I can’t believe how cruel people can be, yeah Y/N’s a little overweight but she eats healthy and has done everything she can to lose the weight. That part no one sees but me. I know the struggles she faces everyday, some times to the point where she breaks down at night and cries herself to sleep. When she’s feeling she can’t handle it anymore, she’ll refuses to eat anything for a few days when she is so down that it hurts me as well as her to see her like that.

Her life has been a horror show growing up, because of her abusive father which is her story to tell. That’s why I wanted to give her a weekend full of fun memories instead of the crap people give her every day, not only here but she gets it at work to. Patients complain about her attitude and the way she looks. She’s the most caring person in the world and our boss knows this, however some people can be such dicks.  But for her to even get crap here when no one knows her, it upsets me and makes me angry they could talk about her like that. Especially when all I want to do is give her a birthday she’ll never forget.  I know when she finds out it will hurt her and cause her to feel depressed and I know I will have to support as I always try to do as I try to help her through it all.

That’s why I got to do my damnedest to make sure she has an amazing experience. Seeing Jensen and the cast do their panels and singing and most of all have fun. Hopefully, if things work out great like I think they will, she will have the best birthday ever. I may hide some things from her sometimes so she doesn't get hurt, but this time I think it’s going to work out where she will have the best convention experience ever as I have a few surprises up my sleeve this weekend.

Readers POV

After my shower, I changed into some jeans and my supernatural t-shirt Ari bought me that said, Run fast like Dean Winchester saw you crash the Impala. Course, I’d never do that to Baby. I love her just as much as Dean does I think. Well if that’s even possible, but Ari got me the shirt saying it would be awesome. Why not? Right? I giggle at myself in the full length mirror thinking what Dean would say if he saw this shirt, can you imagine his face. I put on a fresh coat of makeup and touched up my hair a bit, then added some perfume. I only use a certain kind, since I’m allergic to most of them as I get a terrible headache. Anyway, I walk out of my room to see Ari waiting for me as she had fallen asleep on the couch clutching her phone to her chest, now I know something is up.

I gently tap her on the shoulder, “Ari, I’m ready,” she jumps kicking the back of the couch and dropping her phone. Which she immediately picks up, almost nervously like she done something wrong, or knows something I don’t.

“Are you ok?” I asked her with caution.

“Um, yeah, I’m good. Just fell asleep watching something while I waited for you, did you have to take a cold shower after your Jensen run in?” She nudged my elbow as we walked to the door.

“Ha, funny Ari. No I didn’t, but it didn’t stop me thinking of him,” I walked out towards the elevator with a huge grin on my face.

“Well, hopefully we will see him again at SNS tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, that would be amazing.”

We walk into the elevator as it makes its way to the ground floor. We get off and head to the restaurant close by. It’s nice and smelt so good when we walked in the front door. Oh my god, my mouth watered as we walked by some people on our way to our table. The food here it looks very tempting, but I have to stick to my diet. Just because I’m on vacation, doesn’t mean the body is. As you can tell, I’m very cautious of my weight. I have tried several diets in the past, none worked. I wonder if there is a miracle pill that will help me lose at least 40 more pounds, one can dream. I envy Ari, she’s at the perfect weight. Beautiful, sweet, and amazing person. She can eat anything in the world and not gain a pound.

We get to our table, our waiter asked us what we want to drink. She orders a Coke and I am so tempted to get a Dr.Pepper, but I’ll stick to water. “So, what’s on the at the convention tomorrow? Who's going to be first?”  I took a sip.

“Hmm, Gil McKinney and Alaina Huffman’s Q & A is first, they come on stage at 12 to 12:45 pm after Rich, Rob and Louden Swain does their opening ceremony.” She heard her cell phone notifications go off, what surprised me was she ignored it.

“You’re not going to answer your notifications or even look at it?” I looked at her curiously.

She jabbed a french fry in a pool of ketchup. “No, it’s nothing important. So, what are you going to buy at the vendor's room tomorrow?” She continued to eat the fries as she changed the subject.

For her to ignore a notification like that, something is up. But I’m going to ignore this as I know she will tell me in time what’s bothering her. “I don’t know, I need  some more shirts for sure. Maybe some Jensen items, I was also hoping to decorate the house all in Supernatural. What do you think?” I took a bite of my chicken salad.

She raised her head, “Oh that would be awesome, I think we can make that work.”

We finished our dinner and she insisted on paying, telling me that this is my birthday dinner. We do this every year, when it’s hers I pay so no arguing there. We get back to the hotel and the lines were already starting to form and we decided to join them. Since we had a few minutes, we made ourselves comfortable on the floor just like everyone else did. We have this app on our phones that lets us watch tv anywhere. Which was pretty cool, especially with Supernatural being on tonight. So,I,took out my phone and opened it up, then we sat back to watch it.  I so love that we get the luxury of watching it anywhere we wish too.

Finally, and lucky for us, Supernatural was over which was a damn good episode. I cried literally, I hate when Dean gets hurt or even the tiniest scratch on him. Breaks my heart and I tear up, Ari thinks it's funny but I call that true love and a devoted fan of Dean Winchester. What can I say? He’s fucking awesome.

Eventually, we finally get to the head of the line, Ari shows the man the printout of the tickets we are suppose to register for. He then typed our names into the computer so we could get our badges and wristbands at the next table. It didn’t really take long to go through the registration process, I thought it was cool how they scan your PDF tickets with a cellphone. It’s amazing what technology can do these days. When we finished with the registration stuff, we went outside to take a walk near the jetty. Ari looked up at the sky as if she was deep in thought.

I was watching her face as I wanted to ask but she spoke first, “hey look at that Y/N?” She pointed upwards.

It was a falling star and I closed my eyes quickly to make a wish. Course mine is the same as always, to have Jensen fall in love with me. I shrugged my shoulders with a small smile on my lips. I know that’s a crazy idea, there is no fucking way in hell Jensen would fall in love with an overweight girl like me. But oh if he did, he would be taken care of and never feel empty of anything. Just then my stomach growled and I looked at Ari with a laugh.

She looked at me, “I take it that salad didn’t last long huh?” She asked me.

“Yeah maybe I should’ve gotten something more filling.” as it growled again.

“Ok, how about we compromise. We go get a veggie burger before we go upstairs, and then we’ll play trivial pursuit Supernatural style?”

“Sounds good,” I agreed as we walk to the burger joint that we passed earlier.

We entered the burger joint and the smell was incredible it smelt like bacon and onions. Can we cue an entrance for Dean Winchester right about now? I laughed at my own thoughts as we were lead to our table. The atmosphere was nice, lights turned down a bit to give a soft glow. Classic rock music played in the background and I was enjoying maybe a little too much when the waitress came over to us.

‘Hi, I’m Maggie, what can I get you?” she had her pen and pad ready.

Ari took the lead before I could open my mouth, “we will both have a veggie burger, she will have a dr. pepper and I will have a coke please.” She looked at me like uh huh I got you this time kind of look.

She smiled then left to turn our orders in. “Ari, you know I am on a diet and don’t need to be drinking any soda right now.”

“You're also on vacation Y/N, you can enjoy it, it’s your birthday weekend.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, just one won’t hurt.”

A couple of tables down behind us, some girls were there. I couldn’t really see what they were doing or giggling so hard about, but Ari saw and I thought she was going to go tear some heads off. Our order came thankfully at the right time, the more I watched Ari the more I could tell she was pissed off at something. I turned my head to face them and they just waved as if nothing was wrong. But once I turned my back, the giggling started again.

Ari stood up from her chair and threw the napkin she had in her hand roughly on the table. “That’s it,” she starts to go over to them, but I grabbed her wrist and told her to sit down. “What?” She asked with a harsh tone.

“Leave it, whatever there issues is with us, it can wait. I’m here to have a great weekend, spend time with my best friend and explore Vancouver with her. Not in  some jail cell because she punched someone, so chill out.” I can’t believe I was that hard on her, but at that moment I didn’t care. I don’t care about what other people do, I only care about having fun.

Ari’s POV

The waitress came to refill our drinks and Y/N told her no, that one was enough. Water will do for now, she agreed and filled her glass then left us be. Once I took a bite of my burger, my eyes looked over at the girls who were whispering something. I knew it was about Y/N, every fiber in my being wanted to go over there and punch them. But I’m going to be good, I won't stoop to their level and let them win. That’s one thing I learned about bullies, is that they want you to fight back and lose so they know your weaknesses for next time.

I squinted my eyes at them telling them that I’m going to kick their asses if they didn’t stop, then one of them whispered something to the other as she shows her something on her phone. The laughing ensued and I can tell Y/N was wondering what was going on, but I also knew it was time to tell her. But how and when is the question at the moment. I bit my bottom lip so hard at the thought of what I had to do, which shouldn’t have happen to begin with. People just don’t understand that overweight people like Y/N are beautiful and sweet on the inside and out. I mean honestly she’s really not overweight, her height takes up most of it. It just irks me that people think they can hurt someone they don’t even know.

I look over at Y/N,  “Y/N are you alright?” I asked.

“Yeah, just thinking about our day tomorrow. It’s going to be so much fun, I literally can’t wait.” Right at that time, her face lit up. All the crap that happened before was completely forgotten about, thankfully.

“It's going to be the best day ever, I’m going to make sure you have the best birthday weekend.”

“Hey you deserve to have a great weekend to Ari, you work just as hard as I do so you need to have fun to. Don’t concentrate on me too much that you don’t have fun to ok?”

See, there she goes. Always thinking of others before herself, this is what those bitches don’t see. “Yes but I wanted you to know how much I love you Y/N and that your the best sister a girl could ever have.”

“ Hey, you are my sister too. We stick together and support each other like we always do.”

“Let’s say we go to our room, play a couple of games then head to bed. It’s going to be a very long day tomorrow. And from what I hear from other con goers, it’s a long day of doing lots of different things and being on our feet.”

The girls were still giggling and one cleared her throat as if she was about to say something but changed her mind, I gave her a death glare she changed her attitude real quick. But gave me a smirk instead I wanted to slap it off her pretty over makeup face of hers.

Reader’s POV

We finished our burgers, course Ari paid again. I told her plenty of times not to do that, but do you think she listens to me? Nope she doesn't. I am not sure what’s going on with those girls and why they are so hell bent on laughing at us, but I’m determined to find out. Once I do, I will get what information they have and it will be fixed. Somehow.

Walking towards the door, I turned to look at them one last time. I saw them still laughing so hard, at what I dunno. I wasn't sure but I thought I saw one of them videoing us as we walked out. Nah it must be my mind playing tricks on me. Why would they want to video us we are not that important. I shrugged it off as we walked back to the hotel. Ari’s phone ping again with a notification, as usual she ignored it as we headed for the elevator up to our room.

“You know, I need to know what’s going on with you. You know I’ll find out sooner or later. So might as well tell me.” I stood there with my hands on my hips looking at her.

I heard her sigh, “Fine.” She opened her cellphone and showed me what people were laughing about. “I wanted to hide it from you, because you don’t need this.’

I felt my blood begin to boil as my body got hot, I then started to pace in the living room area of the hotel. I was hot, no I was pissed. Now I know why those girls were laughing, how can people be so cruel? I sighed, maybe I shouldn’t be here. Maybe they are right, I don’t hold a spot in Jensen’s life and he wouldn’t want me holding on his arms like the so called fat person I am. I look at Ari, “I’m going to bed, then tomorrow I am going to have the best time in my life. Come Monday we go home, end of story.”

She gets up to hug me, then I go to my room and she goes to hers. I cuddle with my pillow after I changed into my PJ’s, tears fall down my cheeks. From this day forward, I won’t do that stupid dance in front of anyone anymore. I’ll stick to my diet plan, and I’ll be happy when I see Jensen on Sunday. But that’s as far as it goes, for now. I reached over to my phone, pulled up my flight plan home, hit the cancel button to refund my money back to my card. I’ll talk to the hotel people and see if I can change my stay as well. No sense in staying in a place longer when you're not welcomed. I’ll just have to pretend to Ari all weekend that I’m ok, it’ll will work it has before she's didn't know how much pain I was in. Night Jensen I said to myself as I fell asleep dreaming of my meeting with him earlier. His beautiful face danced behind my eyes as he smiles at me. I couldn’t help but fall asleep smiling.

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