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#They crack me the hell up
dopehorsesposts · 2 years
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pensivegladiola · 29 days
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Jean @ Jeremy in TSC: You are so sunshiney and it makes me nervous. I don’t know how to accept this affection.
Andrew @ Neil in AFTG: You are the craziest motherfucker I’ve ever met and I’m obsessed with your dumb ass
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fanaticalthings · 4 months
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Give me crime lord!Jason who's actually on good terms with the batfam. Not only would it actually be helpful when it comes to missions surrounding underground/illegal operations (Jason would be able to retrieve way more insider knowledge) but also I think having a supervillain family member that you're chill with is just untapped comedic potential that needs to be taken advantage of.
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Damian gets into a petty fight with Bruce, and the next day, instead of waiting for Bruce to pick him up from school, he calls Jason, who shows up in full Red Hood regalia and just rides off with Damian.
Of course everyone at school sees that Wayne's son just got snatched by Gotham's most notorious crime lord, so ofc when Bruce gets there, sees Damian missing, and hears a series of panicked whispers about a gun slinging, criminal biker riding off with a prince of Gotham, Bruce immediately knows what's up and just sighs, already anticipating the many publication companies he's gonna have to bribe to stay silent.
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Sometimes, they need Jason's help with intercepting certain illegal trades within the underworld of, not just Gotham, but just common areas where shady businesses are most prevalent. And when Bruce requests that Jason brings evidence of said illegal shipments to the cave, Jason will smugly respond with "I can, but it'll cost ya"
And Bruce is all exasperated like, "Jason, please, this mission's been going on for a month, I just want to get it over with."
And Jason's just looking down at the crate of smuggled materials, recognizes that it's highly sought after by many rogues (maybe it's machinery parts or rare chemical substances, etc) and ofc Jason's about to be petty as hell when responding to Bruce:
Jason: I don't think you have any idea how valuable the stuff I have is. If I sold this myself in my part of the underground, I'd make a fortune!
Bruce: Jason
Jason: Butttt, if you're not willing to pay me for this, y'know, despite being a billionaire, I guess I could just auction this off to another willing client
Bruce: Jason
Jason: I hear Lex Luthor's been cookin' up something new for Superman. I wonder if he'd be interested?
Bruce: Son, please.
Jason:
Bruce:
Jason: I'll give you a family discount.
And it's just a back and forth of this EVERYTIME. And Jason only does it when he's collaborating with Bruce. None of the other bats have to deal with Jason demanding money.
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There was one time, during a Wayne gala where practically ALL the kids (except Jason, dude's still legally dead), had to show up. And around halfway through, the Red Hood just crashes through the skylight and then just fucking kidnaps Bruce Wayne, in front of everyone. And of course the gala has to be cut short.
Meanwhile, Bruce, in Jason's custody: I CANNOT believe you, son. WHY of all times would you do this? You are GROUNDED, I don't care if you don't live with me anymore, this is just UNACCEPTABLE-
Jason, completely ignoring him, holding up a tablet with news article headlines about this incident: Bruce, look at this shot they got of me crashing through the ceiling, I look fuckin' badass
And then when the fam (in costume) come to "save" Bruce, in a blink and you'll miss it moment, Bruce catches Cass and Jason whispering something to eachother in the corner and them fist bumping before Jason books it out of there. He can already feel a headache brewing.
And generally speaking, I feel like the batfam could be way more efficient with this arrangement. You got the regular team of bats, investigating from above, as well as being able to infiltrate socialite environments as Waynes. Then you got Jason, who can keep an eye on all the lesser exposed and lucrative activities whilst he keeps the underground businesses under his control. I feel like it would be a win win situation that would be hella interesting to see explored.
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witch--btch · 4 months
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Sleeping positions…
Official Art by Satoru Nii
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choccy-milky · 5 months
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I can imagine Clora reading the "Final Problem" where Sherlock "DIES" and being depressed for like a month and sending hate mail to Conan Doyle while Sebastian tries to cheer her up.
THATS SO FUNNY YOU SENT THIS BECAUSE I LITERALLY DECIDED THE SAME THING A WHILE BACK BAHAHA i plan to mention it in my fic too
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seb would 1000% find clora crying during their seventh year when "the final problem" is published LMAOO and he'd freak out wondering whats wrong. and when i read about how tons of doyles' fans sent him hate mail and were outraged i was like yup, clora would've been one of them BAHAHA. ["Obituaries for Holmes appeared everywhere. Petitions were signed and “Keep Holmes Alive” clubs were formed."] CLORA WOULD HAVE FORMED ONE OF THOSE CLUBS TOO LMFAOO
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all the outrage made doyle resurrect sherlock a decade later, so that also means when they're older + married + have kids, clora's just gonna burst into the room one day and be like "HES ALIIIIVEEE!!!!!!!" BAHAHHAA clora's hate mail to arthur conan doyle is what brought back sherlock, CONFIRMED!!💯💪✨
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sreppub · 2 years
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saw many comments about no one ever believing dc superhero girls brucie could be batman :’) and clark is kind of a dick, so. made me think
dw, he’s still clark and im a superbat girlie; he’ll make it right afterwards :’’’’)
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themboification · 1 year
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laudna pulled up her gown, got the girls out and messed with her hair and imogen lost her shit, not blaming her tho, would 100% do the same
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of-pale · 4 months
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Just some wild dmc scenario that struck-eth:
Vergil got behind the wheel of a car, with Nero occupying the passenger seat. Maybe they even steal the car—not so unlikely if the area is in utter chaos and demons are throwing a party everywhere. Vergil certainly didn't have many qualms about committing theft, while Nero reluctantly agreed to it. It was only when Vergil started the abandoned vehicle did a realisation strike Nero.
“Wait, you know how to drive, right?”
“Yes, I've driven a car before. I doubt they’ve changed too drastically over the years.” Vergil gripped the gear shifter and smacked it into reverse.
“Wait, wait, what's that supposed to mean? When's the last time you drove a car?”
Vergil hit the gas, backing up until they collided with a demon approaching the car from behind, the impact marked by a loud thud. The car shook as it went over its body. “Hmmmm, must be about twenty-six years, give or take.”
“And you didn't think I should be the one behind the wheel? That driver's license is waaay past its expiry.”
Vergil cracked a small smile as if he'd been told a great joke. “That assumes I had one to start with.” He harshly shifted the gears again and stomped on the gas, sending the car screeching forward. “I don't think I was old enough to obtain one even if such an option interested me.”
Vergil took a sharp turn, drifting into an alleyway and forcing the side of the car’s boot to smack into more demons. Meanwhile, Nero clung on for dear life to his seat and the dashboard to avoid bouncing his head off the side. With each passing moment, he began to grasp the gravity of his grave mistake.
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Nero learned the hard way that there, in fact, did exist an even bigger menace on the road than Nico. Vergil drove like an absolute lunatic when given the chance: taking corners at the last possible second, playing bloody ping pong with every demon he could possibly hit, and drove at the highest speed the situation allowed him to get away with. To say there were many narrow misses during the wild ride would be an understatement.
Also Vergil, probably:
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revvethasmythh · 4 months
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"This 24 hours has a lot of range": The Bells Hells Story - Campaign 3, Episode 4: On the Trail of a Killer
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gracie-rosee · 5 months
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I seriously wonder what Xaden said in order to convince his friends to help him haul an entire armoire into the bedroom of his “enemy,” all because him and said “enemy” were going at each other so hard she made the furniture explode.
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warmsol · 5 months
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within a span of two seconds
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Well guys, here it comes.
imnotcryingyouretheonecryingimjistallergictomyemotionsstfu
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triglycercule · 2 months
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nightmare's gang but they're one of those youtube family channels that extorts the kids. HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT
i mean cmon man managing his multiversal takeover scheme must take a lot of money. nightmare needs a source of income. so what better than to torture and extort his gang even more. he makes them behave and act entertaining for the camera because if not they get beat and punished. he has cameras everywhere in the castle for content and to monitor everyone. people online are worried about the "kids" on the channel because they are CLEARLY being abused and exploited. nightmare gets a feast of negativity from these peoples' worries. now do i think that he would be cruel enough to force his gang to act like children for this channel?? i dunno,,,,,,,, perchance (YOU CAN'T JUST SAY PERCHANCE)
idk there's definitely a lot more than could be done with this stupid idea. but i just think,,,,,, i just think it would be funny,,,,, think about it,,,,,,,,,,
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song-of-baldy-ron · 17 days
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“If a fandom ever turns on you it could ruin your life”
-Marisha Ray as Laudna
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pachimation · 1 year
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havin a normal one, dudes 🙃
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okaytosave · 10 days
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So for Armand does he see the term DILF and think ‘Daddy I’d Like (to) Fuck’ or is it ‘Daniel? I’d like to fuck.’
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