#Theseus gets turned into a donkey

[freedomforthewin]

Theseus and the Donkey Prank

*Newt stares at Tina.*

Newt: Theseus is a donkey?

Tina: *matter of factly* He has the ears of a donkey. And the voice. He's...braying.

*Newt tries to hide his amusement.*

Newt: He's...braying?

Tina: Yes.

*Newt tries to keep a straight face, but after a few seconds, he bursts out laughing.*

Tina: *trying to suppress a smile* It's not funny, Newt.

Newt: *attempting to compose himself* No. No, this is serious. Theseus has the ears of a donkey...and he's braying...

*Newt erupts in laughter.*

Tina: *amusedly* The poor man. He looked so pitiful.

*Newt chuckles for a bit.*

Newt: *composing himself* We should get him to McGonagall. She'll probably know how to fix this.

Tina: Who's McGonagall?

Newt: She's the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts.

Tina: Ah. Then, yes. That sounds good.

Tina: Wait, if we take him to her, other people that will be around will see him like this. I don't think he's going to agree to that.

Newt: *thinking* I'll have him go into my case and take my case with me. When we're alone with her, then I'll open it and he can come out.

Tina: Great.

*They head to the ministry and walk to Theseus's office.*

Newt: *grinning* You know, Travers, Theseus's superior, is an even bigger donkey than Theseus is. Yet, he's the one who turned Theseus into an actual donkey.

Tina: *chuckling* Well, technically it wasn't actually Travers that did this. It was that poltergeist from your school that caused an explosion and took over Travers's body while everyone else was distracted.

Newt: Haha, yes. But, still!

Tina: *agreeing* Still.

*Newt shakes his head and sighs.*

Newt: Peeves always did love playing pranks. I've never known of him to possess people to play pranks though.

Tina: First time for everything!

Newt: Yeah.

*After a few moments, Newt speaks again.*

Newt: Albus is going to love this. Well, him and McGonagall. But, Albus especially, considering Peeves took over Travers after Travers placed Admonitors on Albus.

Tina: *laughing* Albus got his payback: Peeves is in Travers's body and causing mayhem.

*Newt laughs with her.*

*Just then, Newt and Tina arrive at Theseus's office. They come into the room and find Theseus in the same spot Tina had found him earlier: on the floor and hidden behind his desk.*

*Newt tries not to smile, but fails miserably. Theseus glares at him which makes him burst out laughing. An annoyed expression replaces the glare on Theseus's face, and he looks off to the side. Newt sighs and shakes his head at his brother, Newt's smile a mix of sympathy and amusement.*

*Newt then explains the plan to Theseus, who begrudgingly brays his agreement to it.*

*Newt opens his case and looks at Theseus, waiting.*

*Theseus stays where he is for a few moments. Then, he tries to stand, but his legs immediately give out. He lands on the floor. Everyone looks confused, including him. Then, Theseus begins to realize how he was going to have to move. He makes a whining sound. Then, he slowly gets on all fours and makes his way over, his head held low, his face turning red from embarrassment.*

*When the older brother gets to the case, he stops, raises his head to look at Newt, and then lowers it and looks back down at the opened case. Theseus begins to whimper.*

Newt: *soothingly* It's alright.

*Newt, knowing how much Theseus likes physical affection, begins to pet one of Theseus's donkey ears.*

Newt: It's alright.

*Theseus closes his eyes. He leans his head against Newt's hand, letting himself feel the physical affection. After a few moments, a hint of a smile begins to etch its way across Theseus's face as Newt pets Theseus's donkey ear. Cooing sounds come from Theseus's throat. Newt smiles at him.*

*When Theseus looks a little better, Newt helps Theseus get into the case, and then Newt closes the case.*

Newt: *to Tina* Alright, let's go.

[chefkids]

The Bear is A Midsummer Night's Dream and Marcus is making the violet love potion for Syd and Carmy

There have been Shakespeare references in The Bear from the very beginning. In the very first episode Marcus finds Carmy’s James Beard award for Fairest Creatures, which is a Shakespearean sonnet about life being short and how everything will end and die even if they're beautiful, but the only thing that survives are children, and not having children deprives the world of beauty. Nat's conversation with Jimmy about raising children was parallel with Carmy's conversation with Terry about starting a restaurant. Then of course there was Richie singing Love Story which is about Romeo & Juliet.

Violet and purple flowers are a reoccurring thing we see and learn about in Season 3 of The Bear. According to Roman mythology, the wild pansy, a type of violet flower, was originally white, then turned into the purple Love-in-idleness when Cupid accidentally shot one of his arrows at it, working as a love potion with Cupid's powers. The first time we see purple flowers is in Tomorrow when Carmy tweezing purple flowers next to Luca at Ever, this is the same wagyu dish they ate at the Ever funeral with Sydney. We see more flowers in montages, like Carmy eating them at Noma, bouquets in hotels, and at Marcus' mom's funeral and more.

A Midsummer Night's Dream TL;DR: The play starts with Theseus preparing for his wedding to Hippolyta, he declares that young people should have fun and celebration, not sadness like at a funeral. Hermia, Lysander, Helena, and Demetrius are in a love square and run away to the woods. Puck aka Robin Goodfellow, a fairy that enjoys mischief, manipulates them with the juice of a violet flower, love-in-idleness, that makes people fall in love with the next creature they see. Things get messed up, the wrong people fall in love with each other, and they all fight with each other. Puck reverses the magic, then the couples reconcile and get married at Theseus and Hippolyta's wedding. There is also group of 6 stupid men called the Mechanicals that put on a play, Pyramus and Thisbe (which is also the inspiration behind Romeo & Juliet) for the wedding. In the end, Puck breaks the fourth wall and apologizes to the audience for any offense the play might have caused. The Bear Season 3 started and ended with a funeral and an attempt at a celebration, and we know there will be a wedding in Season 4.

Marcus and his magic purple flowers are always tying back to Syd and Carmy. In Doors the purple flowers at the funeral cut to Sydney and Carmy's "cause you write in the margins" wholesome moment between them.

In Children, Marcus sees a white violet then it cuts to Sydney reading the partnership agreement that Carmy sent while wearing a purple flower scarf.

He then tells Nat about it, she mentions it's the state flower of illinois and he decides to make a white violet flower dessert.

In Violet, Marcus is working on some purple liquid and holds a violet petal, then it cuts to Syd and Carmy.

Even back in Season 1 Marcus was interested in the color purple and flowers, roommate Chester brought pantone color swatches. In Legacy Marcus and Carmy talk about creating magic to push his violet dish further, then Sydney appears.

In that same episode after the conversation about legerdemain and magic, Richie's notebook makes its own sleight of hand. It's a bit hard to read his terrible handwriting but on one page it says Lover for Syd on top and below:

Carmy -> Syd Luca -> Carm

And in another page he wrote:

Syd -> pansy Luca -> Carmen

Richie is Puck/Robin and he wants to see what would happen if Luca and Carmy start fighting for Syd. Richie and the Fak's have been fucking with the dream weave and Carmy’s love story for a while by pushing him to be with Claire.

The Faks are the Mechanicals, a group of incompetent manual laborers. We see Carmy tweezing herbs next to some pansy flowers, then Fak brings out the donkey piñatas. In A Midsummer Night's Dream, one of the mechanicals, Bottom, gets turned into a donkey then the rest of the mechanicals say they are being haunted. And we all know how much the Fak's love to talk about being haunted. Can't get more on the nose than that for them.

The Faks/Mechanicals are mechanics but they think they can make a movie/play. Theodore Fak thinks he makes art films, Sammy Fak argues with him over SD cards and tells him he makes films for children's parties. Even Francie Fak is a reference to one of the mechanics, Francis Flute, who is the only one forced to play the female role in the play they are putting on for the wedding. Also, In A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999) Michelle Pfeiffer played Tatiana, the Queen of the Fairies, who Storer originally had in mind to play Donna. 

When Richie arrived to Ever he took off a fishing hook from a purple flower, then right after Luca appears and greets Carmy. Carmy's flower tattoo in his hand is a violet, and it was right in front of his face the whole dinner when he was next Sydney and Luca and they started vibing with each other. Next season will have a wedding and Marcus' white violet dessert will be tasted. Richie already told us plan he has for Syd, the pansy and it goes from Luca to Carmy.

At the end of the play Puck has an epilogue and breaks the fourth wall to apologize to the audience if they have offended them. Richie and Tiff broke fourth wall to address the "kids" aka us the audience in Apologies. In conclusion, The Bear is a Shakespearean comedy, but it is also first and foremost, a messy love story. 💜

[shutupcrime]

Hear me out-

A Muppet’s Midsummer Night’s Dream

Theseus, Hippolyta, Lysander, Hermia, Helena and Demetrius are all esteemed Shakespearean actors who keep to the original script, whilst all the fairies and some of the mechanicals are muppets muppeting about with the occasional soliloquy.

I present to you my vision:

Gonzo as Oberon

Believe me when I tell you Gonzo has RANGE. I think his background as an alien will help him embody the more mystical elements of Oberon and we know from his performance as the narrator in a Muppets Christmas Carol he’s a natural leading man.

Rizzo as Puck

Name a more iconic duo than Gonzo and Rizzo the rat? You can’t- of course you fucking can’t. Their chemistry is off the charts, celestial dare I say, platonic soulmates the like of which us mere mortals cannot comprehend. On top of the incredible back and forth they’ll bring to Oberon and Puck, Rizzo has a sense of mischief and is just the right amount of a whimsy can’t do nothing right boy to bring a really endearing vision of Puck to the stage.

Miss Piggy as Titania

Is it controversial to pair up Miss Piggy with someone who’s not her usual leading man? Sure, but bear with me I have a vision. Oberon and Titania are at odds for most of the play and I can definitely see a world in which Miss Piggy beats his ass in front of all the other fairies. Also the role of a glamorous ethereal queen? Are you kidding? Miss Piggy is going to body this role heart and soul.

Kermit as Bottom

Remember when I told you to bear with me? I would never break up a duo like Kermit and his beloved Miss Piggy, are you mad? Bottom and Titania spend the whole play smooching and mucking about with the fairies, not only do these two have the chemistry but it also gives Miss Piggy a chance to serenade her beloved Kermie. The casting also works on a meta level with Kermit playing an over ambitious actor somewhat hemmed in by an eccentric troupe. The only question is with the iconic transformation scene, do we cast a human actor who turns into Kermit, or do we just have regular ole Kermit with some donkey ears? I need the thoughts of the public desperately.

The Mechanicals:

Fozzie Bear as Snug

Waka, waka

Beaker as Francis Flute

Literally his worst nightmare is playing Thisbe.

Pepe the Prawn as Robin Starveling

Just a weird lil guy pretending to be moonlight

Bunsen as Tom Snout

Tom Snouts a tinker- plus he can do Pyramus and Thisbe’s special effects

Scooter as Peter Quince

Typical theatre manager energy.

The Fairies:

The Chickens as Titania’s Attendants

To be honest I can see the Henson company making a lot of cool original puppets for the fairies but you can’t have the muppets without some dancing chickens.

Janice and Animal should also get special cameos as Peaseblossom and Mustardseed respectively and naturally Waldorf and Statler show up to heckle Pyramus and Thisbe at the end.

Disney- make it happen

[sarafangirlart]

I get that ppl want to make sympathetic portrayals of monsters but I don’t like it when they make them squeaky clean and pure and having done nothing wrong, like for example portraying the Minotaur as never having eaten Athenian youths, when it’s a lot more interesting that he did eat them but only bc he had no other option bc he was isolated in the labyrinth and robbed of his humanity, he is treated as a bloodthirsty monster and so grew up to be a bloodthirsty monster. I also don’t like how Theseus is demonized for this specific myth when it’s one of the few heroic and selfless things he’s actually done.

Or Medusa, sure we don’t technically get any specific stories about her turning innocent people to stone and it can be argued that the statues around her cave were warriors who came to kill her and she turned them in self defense, however, according to a rationalization by Diodorus Siculus she was a warmongering warrior queen and while this is a rationalization he likely took this from a story were she actually does attack someone, and not in self defense. It also doesn’t help that sympathetic portrayals always depict her as beautiful and/or sexualized, it really says something that male/male coded monsters are allowed to stay ugly and monstrous but their female counterparts don’t get that luxury.

The reason why Shrek is so compelling is bc he gets to be a flawed character, sure he’s defending himself from villagers that attack him but sometimes he’s the one who attacks and steals from them unprovoked, not to mention he was a jerk to Donkey and Fiona, but then he grew and changed as a person.

[mhevarujta]

Saltburn ft. Midsummer Night's Dream

I love this theme so much. Some vague brain-storming:

1)The escalation of the movie is the Midsummer Night's Dream party and, as it unfolds Farleigh tells oliver how his experience at Saltburn will remain for him his big-boy summer, a dream that he once lived that he'd be reminiscent of, while it's real for Farleigh himself.

2)Farleigh has worn a donkey's head. In the Midsummer Night's Dream, when Nick Bottom has his head turned into a donkey's, there are interpretations about the transformation being reflective of who the character was (thus the visualization of an 'ass/jackass'. Farleigh was not the worst person in this movie, but neither is this unfitting for him.

3) Ollie is wearing horns. On the one hand that gives him a devilish appearence. Yet, in Shakespeare, wearing horns was basically being a 'cuckhold' and it symbolizes Oliver's sense of impotence, of being neglected and not having his feelings returned in the way he is. Moreover, it's a subvertion in a way. When Falstaff is given to wear the antlers of the Hunter the situations that occur aren't tragic. In Saltburn Ollie is metastasized into a 'hunter'. What lay beneath the surface finally comes out in full-force for the first time.

4)One of the main characters in MSND is Theseus. While, the play is removed from Greek mythology, it HAS been pointed out that the Athenians entering the forest, which were seen as representing sexual sin, being a metaphorical entrance in the Labyrinth, with Nick Bottom (having a Donkey's head) serving as the 'Minotaur' whose role ends up being a rescuing one, instead of threatening.

In Saltburn, I think we are much closer to the original myrh in a sense. Farleigh's words are playing upon what Ollie already fears. Felix enters the Labyrinth, he ends up standing underneath the constantly threatening status of the Minotaur. Then Oliver enters and he's the real human-shaped monser in the Labyrinth. 'Theseus' never gets out. He's found face-down in dirt, laying dead next to the Minotaur status the next day.

[cornyregans]

Adapting Shakespeare to Sims: A Midsummer Night’s Resolution

Essay Word Count: 1,520 Thank You Word Count: 97 Total Word Count: 1,617

  Now that I have addressed how the scenarios at the Capp Manor and Monty Ranch parallel key scenes from Romeo & Juliet, I believe now is a good time to take a look at what goes down when you first play the Summerdream family. The Summerdreams are a family of four in Veronaville consisting of lovers Titania and Oberon, and their adopted children, Puck and Bottom. By looking at these four names you can deduce that all of these sims draw inspiration from characters from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, in fact, their last name pretty much spells it out. As a result, we can easily deduce which Shakespeare play we should look at in order to dissect the scenario presented to us at the Summerdream home.

Shakespeare’s Original Play

  Like other comedies of the time, both by Shakespeare and by his contemporaries, A Midsummer Night’s Dream implements tropes such as love triangles, mistaken identities, use of stock characters, family tensions without deaths, and a group of interwoven plot-lines that manage to fit together by the play’s conclusion. That being said, arguably the most important aspect in identifying a comedy is whether or not it ends happily. In this particular case, A Midsummer Night’s Dream not only manages to deliver on what could be seen as a “feel-good” ending, but Shakespeare goes the extra mile by including a triple wedding for good measure.

  Now that we’ve gotten the genre of A Midsummer Night’s Dream out of the way, let’s take a look at the relevant characters. First, we’ll go over the four characters who lend their names to the Summerdream family. Oberon and Titania are the King and Queen of the Fairies, Puck is Oberon’s servant, and Bottom is a weaver who ends up as Titania’s lover due to a magical love drug. 

  The fairy plot kicks into gear because Titania refuses to let Oberon make her newly adopted changeling child into either a servant or soldier. This disagreement leads to a quarrel between the two, and eventually, Oberon calls on Puck in order to help him in both acquiring the changeling child and humiliating Titania. To achieve both of these goals, Oberon has Puck acquire a particular flower that, when its nectar applied to a person’s eyelids, causes them to fall in love with the first living thing they see. In Titania’s case, the first thing she sees after being exposed to the nectar is Nick Bottom with the head of an ass (the donkey kind).

  In addition to the fairy plot, there is also a bit of a love quadrangle surrounding four young Athenian nobles: Lysander, Hermia, Demetrius, and Helena. Basically, Lysander and Hermia are in love with one another, yet Hermia also has a suitor in the form of Demetrius, who is in turn loved by Hermia’s best friend Helena. The two plots are intertwined when Puck is ordered by Oberon to sprinkle the flower’s nectar onto Demetrius’ eyelids so he’ll fall in love with Helena. However, Oberon’s instructions only specify to Puck that he is meant to sprinkle the nectar on the eyelids of a “young Athenian man,” this results in Puck mistakenly believing Lysander to be the man Oberon mentioned. After Puck sprinkles the nectar on Lysander’s eyelids, he ends up falling in love with Helena, while Helena in love with Demetrius, Demetrius in love with Hermia, and Hermia in love with Lysander. 

  Later on in the play, Oberon sees that Demetrius is still following Hermia around. As a result, he personally sprinkles the nectar on Demetrius’ eyes and has Puck fetch Helena so Demetrius will fall in love with her. This results in Demetrius falling in love with Helena upon waking up. Now both men are in love with Helena, Helena only loves Demetrius, and Hermia is still in love with Lysander.

  The plotline of the Athenian lovers is ultimately resolved when Puck sprinkles the nectar on Lysander’s eyelids causing him to fall in love with Hermia again; however, he does not do the same to Demetrius, who ends the play still in love with Helena. As for the fairy plot, Oberon does end up reversing the spell on Titania once he gets the changeling child he wanted. 

  The play ends with the triple wedding of Lysander and Hermia, Demetrius and Helena, and Duke Theseus and Amazon Queen Hippolyta. Bottom and his fellow workmen perform a so-bad-its-good version of Pyramus & Thisbe at the reception, and Oberon, Titania, and Puck hop from marriage bed to marriage bed to bless all three of the couples. Finally, Puck addresses the audience with a soliloquy before the curtain call, apologizing to anyone that may have been offended by the fairy magic.

The Veronaville Version

  While the core aspects of the storyline are largely left intact, there are quite a few differences between Shakespeare’s original play and the version presented to us in The Sims 2. 

  In terms of the love quadrangle formed by the Athenian youths, only Hermia’s name and role remain relatively unchanged. Veronaville’s Hermia Capp has reciprocated crushes on both Puck Summerdream and Mercutio Monty; however, a look at her wants and relationship panel should you play the Capp Manor before the Summerdream family will show she’s more interested in the former. Hermia’s cousin Miranda Capp also has a crush on Mercutio, but unlike Hermia’s case, Miranda’s feelings are unrequited.

  The scene that is set up at the Summerdream house is meant to mirror the play’s romantic resolution. Puck and Hermia are situated next to each other upon entering the lot, with the tutorial pushing you to initiate their first kiss. Should you comply, the two will have their first kiss and subsequently be caught “cheating” by a jealous Mercutio. 

  Given Miranda’s absence at the party, this scenario doesn’t end up placing Mercutio and Miranda together à la Demetrius and Helena. That being said, a look at either sim’s relationship panel upon first playing their households shows that they already have a good rapport with one another. As a result, should you decide to pair them together, it’s very easy for Mercutio to reciprocate Miranda’s affections with minimal effort.

  Oberon and Titania’s role in this specific scenario is more akin to that of Theseus and Hippolyta than that of the characters they’re named after. Much like Lysander/Hermia and Demetrius/Helena, Theseus and Hippolyta also marry at the end of the play. However, since the other two couples are paralleled by teenagers, Theseus/Hippolyta (or in this case, Oberon/Titania) are the only ones who can end up tying the knot at this party. Though they are unable to marry without mods, you can also have Puck and Hermia go steady during the party as well should you choose to do so, which is basically the teenage equivalent in The Sims 2.

  A look at Titania’s wants panel upon first playing the Summerdream family shows that she wants to get engaged to Oberon, while Oberon wants to marry Titania. Their wants, combined with the wedding arch outside of the house, implies that the player should have them marry during the party. In fact, complying with these wants should raise the party’s score exponentially, which will, in turn, fulfill Puck’s want to have a great party.

  Finally, the party’s ultimate resolution may serve as a parallel to A Midsummer Night’s Dream’s play-within-a-play. As I mentioned while going over the plot, Bottom and his fellow workmen end up performing a so-bad-its-good version of Pyramus & Thisbe to celebrate the marriages of all three couples. By taking the in-universe reactions of Pyramus & Thisbe into account, the festivities at the Summerdream house could be bad, like the overall quality of the play, or good, like the unintentional humor the characters get out of watching it.

Final Thoughts

  As I stated the companion piece about the scenes from Romeo & Juliet, Veronaville contains many shout-outs to the works of William Shakespeare. While the names of the premade sims are the most obvious examples, the scenarios in place when first playing the Capp Manor, Monty Ranch, and the Summerdream household also fit into this category despite being more subtle. For the record, I first read A Midsummer Night’s Dream during my freshman year of high school for fun, and then in my sophomore year, it was required reading for my English class; That being said, much like with Romeo & Juliet, the similarities between A Midsummer Night’s Dream and tutorial at the Summerdream party weren’t made clear to me until last year while I was thinking about potential essay topics.

  While I’ve finished going over the Maxis-made scenarios in each of Veronaville’s occupied lots, there is still much I haven’t had the chance to cover yet. All of the sims inhabiting these lots, along with those in the sim bin, manage to parallel Shakespeare in a variety of other areas. Of course, some of these instances might be more obvious to you than others depending on your knowledge of Shakespeare canon, but I hope this essay was informative to you either way.

  Thank you so much for reading this piece on the events at Puck Summerdream’s party. While both of this weekend’s entries are on the shorter side, I do plan on posting some longer pieces soon (though I can’t say when due to my indecisiveness).

  I’m still debating on next weekend’s essay. I may post the essay I mentioned in a previous post about Capp family inheritance, but I haven’t made a final decision yet. But regardless of what I end up putting up here next, I sincerely hope you enjoyed what I had to offer this weekend.

[c0wb0y-k3lly]

I genuinely love this but may I counter this with Midsummer Night’s Dream?

If you aren’t a complete theatre nerd like I am, here’s a quick summary. Yes. This is deemed quick. Theseus (yes, the minotaur dude) and Hyppolyta (yes, the amazon) are set to get married and have 4 days of festivities. Some nobleguy is pissed his daughter Hermia bc he wants her to marry Demetrius, but she’s in love with this other dude, Lysander. Theseus gives her until his wedding to figure it out. Hermia and Lysander plan to run away but Demetrius follows. In the forest, the fairy king and queen are beefing and the king tells his servant, Puck, to love potion the fuck outta his wife and also Demetrius bc he’s been a bitch to his ex-gf Helena. A whole bunch of shit happens, everyone is in love with the wrong person (except Demetrius), Puck fixes it all and then breaks the 4th wall in a monolog to the audience, telling them it was all a dream.

The first thing I’d like to show is the maze. The maze is meant to parallel the Labyrinth in Theseus’s mythology, as there are several minotaur statues sprinkled about. In the myth the man who created the labyrinth, Daedalus, and his son Icarus are kept prisoner in a tower in the center of the maze. Daedalus

Felix was trapped in the whole mess with Oliver’s lies and was so close to escaping before flying too close to the sun and falling(being genuinely infatuated with him, trusting him enough to drink the wine). This is also mirrored in his costume, with the white tank top and golden angel wings.

The next thing I saw was the comparisons between Puck and Oliver. Puck is as less than the other faries (he’s literally called a hobgoblin), which mirrors Oliver’s economic status and the whole scene where the Cattons literally shit talk him. Oliver’s costume for his party has antlers, and Puck is almost constantly shown with little antlers or horns on his head. Another thing is Oliver’s monologue to Elspeth, his lies, his manipulation of the whole family to absolutely adore him, specifically Farleigh and Felix.

Not to mention Farleigh briefly wearing a donkey head at the party in reference to Nick Bottom, who Puck turned his head into a donkey (literally calling him an ass), the Theseus statue on the lawn, Elspeth dressed as Queen Tatiana, and other costume references in the party (a direct parallel to the party in MSND)

Anyway, still hella processing what I just watched, but I hope you like my lil analysis :]

the way felix is convinced he's living in a romance movie to the extent that he dresses up like juliet. he considers kissing oliver in the maze. he makes himself off limits but not quite with the open door while he's in the bath; he's the damsel of the film, no doubt. but felix's tragedy is that oliver is convinced it's a horror story and a tale of revenge. so he doesn't play his part as romeo. he vomits up the poison so he can't die from "some poison more" and leaves felix to die alone.

[fuckboisoflit]

A Midsummer Night's Dream - A.J. Feuerman

Publicist and all-around fangirl of things, A.J. Feuerman (@AJFeuerman) is here to discuss her longstanding love for the weird Shakespearean sex farce, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. This bonkers play is not-so-secretly about women's choices and agency, with a nice dash of romance and sisterly bonds. It's so, so much more than Puck.

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SUMMARY

In ancient Athens, two men and two women are in a battle of love. Hermia is in love with Lysander, but her father, Egeus, wants her to marry Demetrius. Demetrius was partnered with Hermia's best friend, Helena, until Egeus offered him a different deal. Local leader Theseus, on the eve of his own wedding to the Amazon warrior Hippolyta, declares Hermia to do as her father wishes, so Hermia and Lysander escape to the woods, to travel to his grandmother's house to get married. Meanwhile, faerie king Oberon wants to play a trick on his wife, Titania, so he orders his minion Puck to drug her to make her fall in love with the first thing she sees– hopefully the monstrous Bottom, a weaver who has been turned into a donkey. In addition to drugging Titania, Puck messes up and drugs Lysander and Demetrius in succession, making them both fall in love with Helena, leaving Hermia alone and confused. The play resolves in typical Shakespearean comedy fashion– with weddings. But who will be wedded to whom?

source https://fuckboisoflit.libsyn.com/a-midsummer-nights-dream-aj-feuerman

[fairy-donkey-face-blog]

Full Play Summary

Act 1 Scene 1:

Theseus, Duke of Athens, enters along with his betrothed Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, and others. Theseus calls upon the young Athenians: Egeus, Hermia, Lysander, and Demetrius. Egeus explains how he gives his blessing to Demetrius to marry his daughter Hermia; however, Hermia claims she does not love Demetrius and loves Lysander and refuses to marry Demetrius. Upon this Theseus gives Hermia the ultimatum that she must either marry Demetrius or live her life a nun or die. Theseus gives her four days to make up her mind. Then all except Lysander and Hermia leave. They speak of the event and Lysander tells Hermia of his aunt who lives far away where they can run off to and elope, she agrees. Helena, who loves Demetrius, enters and begins to mock Hermia for the relationship that she has with Demetrius. Hermia calms her by saying she isn’t in love with him and is sneaking away with Lysander. They then leave to prepare for the trip. Helena is left on stage where she has a soliloquy where she confesses that she will tell Demetrius about their plan to make him love her.

Act 1 Scene 2:

Quince the carpenter, Snug the joiner, Bottom the weaver, Flute the bellow-mender, Snout the tinker, and Starveling the tailor enter. They are all planning to perform a play based on the Pyramus and Thisbe a tragic comedy, the night of the Duke and Duchess wedding night. Quince hands out their scripts. They then plan to meet in the woods outside of town at night to rehearse.

Act 2 Scene 1:

Robin Goodfellow, a puck (mischievous sprite) and another fairy enter from opposite doors. The fairy serves the Fairy Queen, Titania. He has come to inform Puck that she is coming to meet with his master, Oberon. Puck informs the fairy that she better not since the two are always fighting when they meet. Then the two, Titania and Oberon enter from opposite sides with their trains of followers. They immediately begin to argue claiming that they are both jealous. Oberon asks Titania to give him a boy for a henchman which she has stolen and cares for, because he is jealous of the attention the boy is getting. Titania refuses, then departs. Oberon explains to Puck that he wants him to get a little western purple flower that has the power to make person fall in love with the first thing they see. Oberon comes up with a plan to put it on Titania while she sleeps and have her fall in love with a wild animal. Puck goes off and Oberon becomes invisible.

In comes Demetrius and Helena in the same location as Oberon. Demetrius is yelling at Helena for following him into the woods and says he doesn’t love her even after her telling him about Hermia’s plan to run off with Lysander. Helena begs Demetrius not to run off without her. She begs of him to take her as her beating toy and for him to beat her if that’ll keep him from running off, but he does anyway, and she continues to chase after him.

Puck enters and Oberon who has witnessed the poor girl being treated so nasty decides that he will use the flower on Demetrius for her love. He then tells Puck that he wants him to use the flower on the young Athenian man with the girl. Puck then leaves to carry out his mission.

Act 2 Scene 2:

Titania rounds up all her fairies to sing and dance for her to fall asleep to. They do, then she falls asleep. Oberon takes this moment to put the flowers juice on her eyes, then leaves.

Hermia and Lysander enter and have decided to fall asleep there in the woods. Lysander tries to pull a move on Hermia as she lays down, but she cast him off, so she can preserve her virginity till they are married.  

Puck then enters, after searching the woods for the Athenian man, he sees Lysander sleeping away from Hermia and decides this must be the man who Oberon ordered to put the flowers juice on, so he does, then leaves. Helena and Demetrius enter the part of the woods where Lysander is sleeping. Helena begs Demetrius to stop running away again, but once again he takes off leaving Helena by herself. Helena stumbles on Lysander and wakes him up. Lysander who is under the spell falls in love with Helena and confesses his burning love for her. She thinks it is a cruel joke and tells him to stop making fun. She then exits, Lysander who forgot about Hermia too exits to follow his love, Helena. Hermia then wakes up from a nightmare calling out for Lysander, but he is long gone. She then leaves to go find him.

Act 3 Scene 1:

The actors of the Pyramus and Thisbe play enter in the woods where they have planned to meet. They have suggestions about scaring the audience and fix them by making edits, for fearing being hung for an unenjoyable performance. Bottom suggests that he shouldn’t kill himself with a sword because it will scare the women and then they’ll be hung, so the decide to have him reveal his identity as Bottom the Weaver. Snout then becomes afraid that his part as the lion will cause a similar problem, so they come up with a solution to have Snout speak directly to the audience. They finally start to rehearse for the play. Puck is in the background watching them rehearse. He sees Bottom and decides that he will transform him into an ass. The other performers are scared and run away exiting the stage. Bottom thinks they’re teasing him and, so he stays and sings. Titania wakes up and the first thing she sees is Bottom with the head of a donkey, and falls in love with him. She requests for him to stay with her and make jokes for her and sing.

Act 3 Scene 2:

Puck goes back to Oberon to tell him what he did. He explains that he transformed Bottom to have the head of an ass and how Titania has fallen in love with him. Oberon laughs and asks about the Athenian couple. Puck explains that, that job too is complete. Coincidentally, Demetrius and Hermia enter. Oberon asks Puck to watch how it turned out between the two. Puck explains that yes it was Hermia that was there but not Demetrius he put the spell under.

Hermia accuses Demetrius of having killed Lysander in his sleep so that he could have Hermia for himself. She gets very upset and yells at him then finally leaves. Demetrius is alone and then suddenly falls asleep with Oberon and Puck still watching. Oberon becomes very mad at Puck for messing up and mistaking the wrong Athenians, and sends him off to bring Helena, while he will put the potion on Demetrius’ eyes. Puck comes back with both Helena and Lysander. Where Helena is still convinced that Lysander is only mocking her with his love. The noise they are making awakes Demetrius from his sleep, and he then falls in love with Helena. Now both Demetrius and Lysander are head over heals for Helena and she cannot take it. She thinks both that they are teasing her. The two men fight to prove which loves Helena more, during this Hermia arrives into the scene. She hears of Lysander falling in love with Helena and cannot believe it. She then accuses Helena of having stolen her man, and Helena is upset with Hermia because she thinks its all a mocking joke. Demetrius and Lysander begin to fight again but Hermia jumps in trying to pull Lysander away, but he throws her off and calls her an Ethiope. Lysander and Demetrius go off to fight some more for Helena, while Hermia and Helena insult each other then eventually leave.

Oberon and Puck are shook-ith. Oberon is infuriated with the mistake Puck made and orders him to fix it by separating the two men from each other, so he can put the spell on Lysanders eyes while he sleeps so he can re-fall in love with Hermia. He separates them by mimicking their voices and luring them away from another. Puck then finds the two girls and brings them close to their matched lovers before putting them asleep.

Act 4 Scene 1:

Titania and Bottom enter the stage along with the Queens fairy friends. They’re both bonding together and Bottom is asking the fairies to scratch his head. He then get hungry for some hay in response Titania requests the fairies to gather hay for Bottom to eat. They then fall asleep under a tree.

Oberon and Puck enter, they see the two sleeping. Oberon explains to Puck that Titania has already given him the boy he wanted in the woods earlier. So he tells Puck to change Bottom back to normal and be removes the spell from Titania. She then wakes up thinking it was a dream but makes the conclusion that it wasn’t sense Bottom was sleeping right next to her. Oberon then tells her that they will going to the wedding of Hippolyta and Theseus tomorrow.

Hippolyta, Theseus, and Egeus all arrive in the woods for celebratory hunting in preparation for the wedding. They stumble where the two couples are lying asleep. They all wake up in happy couples: Lysander and Hermia, and Demetrius and Helena. They all confess their new found love and so Theseus dismisses Egeus’ ultimatum for Hermia and says that the two couples will be wed today. Finally, they all leave the woods and head to Athens.

The next scene shifts to Bottom waking up in the forest alone and assumes that the other actors left him. He recalls the events that happened that night but writes it off as a dream and states that he wants Quince to write him a ballad about the events. He then returns to Athens.

Act 4 Scene 2:

The workmen are all pouting because they missed the wedding but Bottom comes in and says they have enough time to perform the play, Pyramus and Thisbe, and so off they go.

Act 5 Scene 1:

In the palace of Theseus, the guest are all relaxing after the weddings. Theseus asks Egeus to read a list of plays that they may want to watch while they relax for entertainment. He goes on and Theseus is adamant on watching the play performed by the common labors. Egeus says that they don’t have any talent and they shouldn’t, they do anyway. The performers enter and Quince begins with the interlude with many errors and sentence fragments. They continue the play which is often times commented by the audience where they find humor in jest.

In the end of the play, Bottom and Flute get up from their dead spots and offer to perform an epilogue. They are quickly shut down but settle for a final dance. They all leave except Puck on the stage. He then begins his final speech. He apologizes for any disturbances and wishes all a good night to a midsummer night’s dream.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Okay, here's a special one JUST FOR YOU. Cast one of your favorite Shakespeare plays with the Dragon Age characters, and say why you would choose each one to hold that role.

Buckle up everyone. 

Alright, so here’s the situation: my Inquisitor Lydia comesto me and tells me morale is really bad. So I introduce her to Shakespeare, and she’s like: “wow, this one about the fairies and dude turning into a donkey is funny! Let’s put it on!” She makes me direct and makes everyone at Skyhold audition. Everyone. I see the auditionswhich also include people from the other Dragon Age games, and here’s who thedirector, me, casts:

Theseus—Duke of Athens: played by Cullen. The straight man of the play, andCullen would do that serious part very well. That’s what I would tell himanyway, and Lydia would make him begrudgingly do it.

Hippolyta—Queen of the Amazons: Cassandra. Warrior Amazonlady, fits Cass very well. She would make a disgusted noise at this display atfirst, but she would eventually get into it.

Egeus—father of Hermia: Solas. Kind of grouchy, like Egeus. Lydiaand I would tell him to think of tea as he says his grumpy lines, and Solaswouldn’t probably like it, but Lydia and I would get a kick out of it.  

Hermia—daughter of Egeus, in love with Lysander: My WardenMiranda Cousland would do very well in this, and she would unironically getreally into it. She would even try to design her own costume.

Lysander—in love with Hermia: Alistair would alsounironically really enjoy himself and this role. He doesn’t mind playing thelove interest suitor, because he’s Miranda’s love interest.

Demetrius—suitor to Hermia: Anders. He would like acting, hejust wouldn’t admit it at first, plus he would like his character being withHawke in the end 

Helena—in love with Demetrius: I would cast my sarcasticfemale Hawke, and she would ham it up and be totally overdramatic, rolling overthe floor during her “Love looks not with the eye but with the mind” spiel.

 The Fairy Land:

Oberon—King of the Fairies: Dorian. Because the king of amagical land needs to be fabulous, and Dorian would insist he’s the mostfabulous actor out of everyone. So of course, Dorian gets cast as Oberon. Hegets into it too.

Titania—Queen of the Fairies: Vivienne. Because she is alsofabulous, like all queen of the fairies should be. She wouldn’t like it whenher character falls for Nick Bottom, but Lydia would tell her it’s for the goodof the Inquisition, and Vivienne would roll her eyes and do it because she has to. She would make sure she has the best costume, however.

Robin Goodfellow, AKA Puck—good old Varric of course. Likesto get into people’s business, makes people fall in love? Enough said. He would also probably have more fun than he should, and he would like watching everyone at rehearsal more than he would like being in the show.

Peasblossom, Cobweb, Mustardseed—fairy servants toTitania: Sera, Merril and Cole. Cole wouldn’t understand what was going on buttry anyway, Merril would be very enthusiastic and make flower crowns, and Serawould probably forget her lines. But they’re the most precious characters anddeserve to be up there, flitting around, and Lydia would think so too. (There’s another fairy but I’m only having three)

Others

Peter Quince and the rude mechanicals—Iron Bull, because he’sthe captain of the chargers, and his Chargers would be the rude mechanicals that put on the play Pyramus and Thisbe at the end of the play. I can’t thinkof anyone else who would do it, and neither would my Inquisitor.

And finally:

Nick Bottom: Scout Jim. Turns into an ass in the show. Butt of all the jokes. Also the butt of the Inquisition. ‘Nuffsaid.

So I direct the play. Varric brings everyone drinks while Cullen stands to the side claiming he has a thousand things he should be doing instead of being here at a rehearsal. Cassandra makes disgusted noises as Hawke rolls on the floor, and Dorian tells me he has a perfect way to block his next scene and ignores my direction. Then Vivienne turns Jim into a literal donkey. But finally, the show goes on, and Lydia can’t stop laughing the entire time, and afterward, everyone says “NEVER AGAIN” until Lydia says she wants to do Macbeth. 

And then the cycle repeats.

Well, that was ridiculously fun. Thank you so much!

[yamuraiiha]

Fuck it herE WE GO LADS

this is gonna be kinda long so just scroll past ghfkjfkb

————

OKAY SO

HEAR ME OUT

Midsummer night's dream au.

Pacer is Hermia, Headphones is Lysander, Emp is Demetrias and Jr is Helena!!

Headphones and Pacer plan to run away to live with Glasses outside Athens together after Vintage (Egeus, although this might change) decides that Pacer will be married off to Emperor, who's in love with her, cause he needs the money. Jr, who's hopelessly in love with Emperor, goes and tells him that the others are running away after overhearing the plan, so the two of them go into the forest after them.

Army (Titannia) and Skull (Oberon) are having a huge argument. As the king of the faeries, Skull is annoyed that Army refuses to listen to him, so he enlists the help of Mask and Bobble (Puck and Robin [Robin was a character from our play, he's basically Puck's double]) to help him find a flower that makes anyone who gets it's pollen in their eyes fall in love with the first person they see.

While they're off doing that, Skull sees Emp and Jr fighting, so tells Mask and Bobble to go put some love juice in Emp's eyes as well. However, they fuck up and put it in Headphones eyes instead. When she wakes up, the first Person she sees is Jr. Whoops. Then they go and put it in Army's eyes while he's sleeping on the river bank like they were told.

While all this is happening, the two faeries come across an actor called Aloha (Bottom) who's practicing with his trope for Theseus (Rider) and Hippolyta (Goggles)'s wedding in a day's time. They decided to turn his head into that of a donkeys, and when Army wakes up, guess who he sees?!

Skull sees that Mask and Bobble put the potion in the wrong person's eyes, so he makes them go put it in Emp's this time. They do so, and the first person he sees is Jr too! So now Headphones and Emp are in love with Jr, Pacer is left all alone, heartbroken at the idea of Jr stealing her girlfriend, and Army is in love with an ass.

Just great.

Eventually Skull gets fed up and starts feeling super guilty, so he goes and makes Mask and Bobble undo all their curses. Headphones is in love with Pacer again, Emp has finally realised his feelings for Jr, Army and Skull make up, Aloha has no fucking clue what just happened, and the story ends with Rider and Goggles' wedding! Hooray!!

Hhhhhhey who wants to hear my dumb Coroika au,,,

[ecotone99]

[SF] Grandmother Eris. A Disco Fable.

Eris doesn't need worshippers like that limp rag of a Christ. His handwringing supplicants are a plague upon the World already. She asks for no bent knees, no pious penitents, offers no absolution, nor bids her faithful to be washed in the sacrificial gore of some scapegoat's stolen life.

​

She don't roll like Jeehobah, she doesn't need validation from a flock of frightened, sinful sheep, mumbling empty prayers under the judging eyes and false shepherding of a Priesthood of bastards, mountebanks and charlatans. If she bestows upon you, your hearts desire, it is not as some reward for unswerving faith, or dutiful worship.

Nay, it is with the casual indifference of a good natured feaster, casually tossing the remains of the meal to her Hounds. Her gifts are not something that one should strive towards, for she is nothing if not fickle and capricious towards mortals. Would Paris have been so blind in his pursuit of Helen, had he known the terrible price that would be demanded of him?

To incur the displeasure of Hera, and the abandonment of Athena, just so he could play "Hide the sausage" with a Spartan Queen, stolen from under the nose of her Atreides Husband? Had he known every King of Greece was to wage war upon his beautiful Troy, would he have run back to Ilium, abandoning his heart's desire forever, and risk the displeasure of Hermes? (Who would have to find some other chump to judge between Olympus's three biggest narcissists) Maybe, but if not Paris, the task would fall to someone else, for some stories are too powerful not to be told.

It wasn't even the first time sluttish Helen had been "stolen away" for her beauty. Oh no. But the first time, by a Hero so 'pure' he would not bespoil her virgin loins with his mighty seed. *Winks*

No, it was a good, stiff cock that girl yearned for, not the weak, dribbled seed of old man Meneleaus. Her womb demanded she till it's fecundity with the hard stiff, fucking of a young, strong Prince like pretty Paris. And Lady Eris? They fucking SNUBBED Her! Fuck those preening Olympians and their pet Kings and Heroes!

Peleus and Thetis should have as their wedding gift, to see their Olympian Gods and Goddesses for the self obsessed, spoiled bitches and thundering spineless bastards they really were. The vanity of Woman, exemplified beyond mortal comprehension, by the greedy squabbling of deific entitlement.

"For The most Beautiful" She tossed her Hesperidic Apple into the sight of the three most vain, self obsessed, spoiled bratty bitches ever cut from the flesh of a demented child devouring Titan. So greedy, they couldn't even let Thetis, though sired by Zeus himself (but don't mention that in earshot of Hera) their own half Sister, be "The most beautiful", even at her own fucking wedding feast!

Even in her glorious wrath, Eris (who loved a good game above all else) left an option for redemption. All they had to do was allow Thetis to claim the Apple as her wedding gift. Behave in a way fitting, not for Olympian Gods, but as Guests in the House of their hosts on the day of their Wedding.

Daddy Zeus, cock of the fucking block, patron of Hospitality and the bestower of a guest's right to be treated with respect, he could have put his mighty foot down, and slapped his squabbling family of bitches into line with a single word. But no. So spineless was he, so reluctant to have to go back to the Mountain with Hera's haughty disdain and icy cold psycopathic plotting of revenge, he abetted their appalling behaviour.

He said he would mediate the issue, then immediately delegated responsibility to Hermes. Who bottled it too, and picked poor Paris, watching his goats on a hillside. Then each pretty Goddess, in order to be bitchiest bitch in the bitch pile, Apple owning Queen of the spoiled sulk, tried bribing the fucking judge. Unbelievable. Monstrous arrogance. Self obsession taken to it's ugly and catastrophic extreme, with not a thought of consequence, or twinge of conscience. Just as Eris had foreseen.

"Consequence, my pretty ,posing, shamefully behaved progeny? Oh, Grandmother Eris is going to teach you ALL about fucking consequences, you primped up over-privileged priapic bunch of superpowered toddlers! Game on, motherfuckers! (Technically, sibling fuckers, but hey, who's going to point THAT out to Zeus and Hera?)

Eris in one fell move, became Dungeon Master of the Olympian D&D Cabal. The mortal play people, that Olympus had for so long been at a loss what to do with, were going to make some fucking demands of their Gods now. They were going to have to work for their Ambrosia. Learn some diplomacy. How to make concessions, how to back the fuck up a bit, and let these Mortals have their head. Learn some fucking boundaries. Rules. Gamesmanship.

Either that, or it was War in Heaven. With canny Hades, down below, with the souls of all the dead at his command. and jealous plotting, bitter, tricked brother, Poisiedon under the waves, played for the chump again. Waiting for his chance to topple Zeus, and take his rightful turn as crowing cock, King of that dunghill Olympus. No thought for the fact the Earth would be once again under his Ocean, nope, not with him up the Mountain, guzzling barrels of Ambrosia all day long. Thus went the dreams of Posiedon.

And poor Paris, his hard on for Helen was pre-destined to shame the mighty Greeks, and grant them eventual victory over Troy, but to pauper themselves in the process. Agamemnon, proudest and most ambitious King of Mycenae, and Meneleaus, his Brother, King of Sparta, but only by dint of his marriage to (soon to be stolen away) Helen of Sparta. Most puissant Queen that mortal man had ever spawned. Original Trophy Bride, the face that launched a thousand (yet to be built) Ships. Wife of an Atreides, King of the Spartans, mightiest Warriors ever to pick up a Spear. And not really a man who would take being cuckolded by a mere Boy Prince of some far off City with good grace.

This Queen, Helen, was the glue holding the loose confederation of Greek City States together with her dowry, her beauty, and her placement at the tip of the triumverate of powers, Sparta, Athens, and Mycenae.

Casually promised to pretty boy Paris, as his reward for Judging in favour of Aphrodite. Her of the bottomless cunt. So the greedy eyed, cock hungry Daddy's girl, gets what she wants. A fucking Apple. With 'Kallisti' wrote upon it's golden skin.

"Cock-a-doodle me, prettiest of the three you two ugly bitches, bow down to me"

Wisdom was not this jiggly titted honey dripping slut's forte. Olympus's in house rutting whore, Hungry cunted Goddess of sluts, skanks, and cum guzzling slags everywhere with a libido that surpassed even Zeus himself. Her proudest party trick was a cock in each hole, one between her pouty lips, and one in each hand, then bringing them all to bone juddering climax simultaneously, to the enthusiastic applause of those living up the Topside. Proto-Bimbo-Barby slut guts. (Still would though, if you know what I mean) "Attagirl" Zeus would say, under his breath.

Because Zeus openly admiring any female that wasn't Hera, just sent Hera off into one of her squawking rages.

Slowly, the events set into motion by these blustering bragging irresponsible Olympians were coming together, mortal man's day was here, these unconsidered playthings, whose whole existence was so carefully guarded by Foresight and his brother, Hindsight , (Prometheus and Epimethius) and bought at such a price by noble Prometheus, now had the teeth that Zeus always feared.

Now do you start to see the depth of Eris's gamesmanship? See how her carefully planned vengeance would teach them ALL to behave a little bit better? Now Zeus would really have to put the family to work! Each Olympian designated a sphere of mortal influence, having now to barter their good graces to this scurrying thing, Man, for goats and prayers and promises of fealty, and should they waver in their diligence, the balance between the triumverate Sons of Cronos, Posieden, Zeus and Hades, would crumble, the Kraken would awake, and the World would be lost.

The Demigods Zeus had so carelessly spawned with any woman shaped thing his dick fancied poking, had founded the dynasties of Man's Kings, and they all looked to Olympus. They could withhold their worship, or turn away, towards other new Gods. They would even be forced to flee to Egypt and disguise themselves with Animal heads while Heracles sorted the Titan "threat" out for them. He freed Prometheus from his chains on the mountainside too, which Zeus can't have been too happy about.

And in this way, with acts of service, Man's Heroes, Heracles, Theseus, Perseus, Bellerophon, Achilles, Atreus, Orpheus, all had Zeus's blood in them, and all founded Dynastic Houses, dedicated to their patron Gods. . . Deific inter-personal politics had to be learned by Olympus. The ages of Man grew, from Archaic, Classical, Hellenistic, as Greece became more and more apart from it's Gods. The mystery cults of the Orphic Mysteries, the Oracular Pythonesses, and their attendant Priesthoods now held sway, and 'spoke' for the Gods these days. Anyway . . .

​

Eris sits back in her rocking chair, playing Donkey Kong on her old Nintendo Gameboy, while Zeus bemoans the eventual fall of Greece to Rome, and having to adopt Romanised forms in order to survive. Eris, although Grandmother of Zeus, and older than the first thought, still as quietly powerful as ever (since her Game had never depended upon people's belief) rocks slowly, her hand rolled cigarette hanging from her smiling lips, says to Zeus, most mighty of the Olympians,

"Sack up, Boy, you had your day in the fucking sun didn't you? You did deeds, great and small, noble, and base, and your name is still written in the dusty books of Epimetheus's little side project, Man, right?"

Zeus nods glumly.

"They still sacrifice to you, The Thunderer, don't they? Your bolts of lightning still get to feed you, Zeus, now and again?"

"But they strap the sacrifices into a chair of wood, Grandmother. HUMAN sacrifices! (Zeus always preferred Goats.) They begin to show the disease of Cronos, in the way they feed upon one another, their young, their Wars, all so senseless" He sighed.

"And where did they get that trait from then, eh? You! You sticking your priapic pecker into their women! You passed Cronos down to them,.. . They are just doing with the gene what they have to, NEED to!"

​

"And Zeus" said Eris . . . Zeus looked up, his mighty brow, furrowed and anxious. "Since when did you, an Olympian and a God, the Mighty Thunderer, Zeus, first of the mighty age of Gods, since when did YOU start to even give a fuck?" she said, her eyes a twinkle . . .

"Since you fucking MADE us all give a fuck, Grandmother. . . you scheming old Bitch . . .I CARE now, I feel things like . . like I suppose mortals do" Eris nodded, sagely. Waiting for her notoriously slow witted thuggish Grandson to follow his thoughts . . .

"Are we to die like mortals too? Is that what we have come to? An Ignomious death, falling in the dirt, leaving our bones to bleach under the Sun of the next fucking Sun Hero the monkeys nail up?"

"What am I, some kind of fucking agony Aunt for your morose self pity party? Get up off your flabby arse, you moody emo twat, I didn't raise me no whiny lil bastards! Well . . . I did, but you're all grown up now . . . Grown. You're a badass thunderbolt wielding son of fucking Chaos, get up and act like it. . .

You don't like your sacrifices all Human and fried? TELL them! MAKE them fucking listen. You're a GOD, for God's sake! You're still Boss of that piss poor Crew, sat up the Mountain, glugging ambrosia like it was cheap gin, shake them up some, get a rocket under their arses too, go and do some fucking Godding! I mean it, now get up, and fuck off! I'm sick of the sight of your droopy mawkish face!"

Zeus, stung by the rebukes, and as always, more than a little afraid of this flapping old crone (funny, she was beautiful, young, and vibrant not five minutes ago) gets up, and slouches towards the door. "Forgetting something?" She says. "I don't think so" says Zeus,still sulky.

"COME HERE . . . and give your old Nan a fucking KISS, you disrespectful little bastard!" She screeches at him, all crackly fire and sour piss now, incandescent with sudden rage.

Afraid, but (Quite rightly) more afraid of the consequences of disobeying her, Zeus the Mighty turns, and chastely kisses her on her wrinkly cheek . . . " That's better" she says, mollified. "You soppy cunt" she says, affectionately" . . ."I love you too Nan" he says, as hopeless as any seven year old boy around his cranky old Grandmother.

"You know what, I'm proud of you Zeus, and I love you best. Out of all my ill-considered brats, and their own, over-entitled whelps, you are the one I was always so hard on (I said "hard on" she giggled) You know why?"

"No" he said . . .

"Because YOU were always the slowest, most dim- witted of your siblings, the stupid , dumb one, the one everyone else took the piss out of. Even though you could take either of those nasty little brothers of yours on, and pull their fucking arms and legs off, if you wanted to. "Zeus the Goose, thick as a Moose" they'd say, behind your back."

"But you never did. You showed restraint, and ignored them. . . . Well, until it all came to a head at least. Hades was a nasty, cruel little swine, with no sense of fun in him, but when he teamed up with that sneaky, duplicitous cunt Posiedon, and tried to topple you once and for all, well, I wasn't having that"

"You think you outwitted Posiedon with that 'three way power sharing' bollocks all by yourself?" She said.

"I had to get in there first and dose him up with Cough syrup and Ativan so that YOU'D not be the one swimming around with the fucking fishes! Or stuck down there in Hades forever, looking after the dead. Pffft"

"Now get the fuck out of here, and don't come back until you've done whatever the fuck it is you're going to do . . . Oh, and when you do come back" . . . . She paused, all sweet old Lady now, . . . "Bring us back a bottle of Bristol Cream from Tescos' love, can you?" "Yes Nan" says Zeus, "And thanks Nan, you da best. . . ." and walks out the door.

submitted by /u/Kali_Kopta [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2PDZsD8

[lightraker]

Divided-Back

It is a common cry among my GCSE students that they wish they could just ask the poet what the hell they meant. I always roll my eyes at this and tell them that it doesn’t matter, that it wouldn’t help, that their own interpretation is the most important thing. Well obviously that’s a load of nonsense. And so I come to this entry fully armed from a night in the pub with Langley himself. The author is dead? Long live the author!

There are two main keys to this poem. One is the Edgar Allen Poe short story the Purloined Letter. In that story a detective, Dupin, finds a stolen letter (containing compromising information about a lady). The police search everywhere including sticking needles into the cushions of the man’s house. Dupin finds it “hidden in plain sight” on a card rack in the room. Dupin went in covering his eyes in green spectacles pretending he had weak eyes. He then comes back the next day to retrieve a snuff box he had purposefully left behind. He arranges for someone to fire a gun on the street outside. The robber is distracted and Dupin retrieves the letter.

There’s an interesting extra detail which is that Dupin swaps the letter for a duplicate he has written. This ties up nicely with the set of poems “Of those from the ships”.

The second key to the poem is that Divided-Back is a term for a postcard and this poem is, and I know you’ll all be very excited to hear this, Eric’s most Derrida-influenced poem. Having no intention of ever reading a word Derrida has written, I’m just going to make some stuff up about what I think Derrida might have said. And my understanding is that this is very much in keeping with Derrida’s ideas. (Ha ha, just a little post-structuralist joke). Derrida writes a book called “La carte-postale: De Socrate à Freud et au-delà”. You can never have a private language because language itself implies a third party. Words get their meaning from how others use them. The postcard is symbol for the lack of privacy. There’s also some stuff about how it’s really the reader who writes the postcard. In this book, he writes an analysis of the Poe short story (The Purloined Letter) critiquing Lacan’s reading of the story. Last night in the pub I wrote down: “Lacan you never arrive at the other. Derrida: the letter has always already arrived.” So that clears that up!

Eric was saying that the first three poems are about the couple. In the next three, there’s a third party involved.

Here’s a very simplified summary of the four sections: 1, Eric writes a postcard where he tries to genuinely say a loving message. 2, things and people get in the way of us understanding the meaning. 3, the loved one sees through all this and “gets” the postcard. 4, unbothered by intermediaries, Eric declares his love.

Ok. Into the poem:

You’ll notice the layout of the poem apes the way the back of a postcard is divided into two. We might perhaps also think of the separation of the couple that the postcard is hoping to bridge.

“I shall be under the clock”. The titles of the sections comes from a Victorian manual on how to write postcards.

“We meet in white frame”. In a postcard you’re constrained, restrained, can’t think (write) outside the box.

“Block out” - either layout print in blocks or cover up / censor.

“Victorian lilac or green issue” types of early postcard printing.

“two pints of stout… donkey ride” - classic seaside postcard image.

“I do wish you were here” - the writer struggles for authenticity, stuck using clichés and other people’s words (Derrida), but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t “mean” it. Sometimes the truth is staring you in the face (Poe).

“held up to her light” - as if looking for invisible ink.

“no secrets” - a postman can read it.

“empty places” - description of a postcard or many other things.

“write-aways” - original name for postcard

“post-haste” - the origin of this phrase is that it “haste, post, haste” was an instruction that used to be written on letters.

“double-impress” - the letter writer who makes a carbon copy before sending it (eg Kafka). When thinking about the third person added to this couple, we might think about us, the readers. These “secret” poems or letters or cards are being written with an eye to a broader readership. Like a Shakespeare sonnet, or any published love poem, they’re not really being written to be read by a single private loved one, are they? And in that way they’re like postcards.

“drop-sink… fugitive ink” - technical printing terms.

“Impossible synchronicities” - you don’t write a postcard and have someone read it at the same time.

“in plain view… sticks the wall” - Now we’re into the Poe allusions.

“passes show… overseer… orisons” - we also get some Hamlet allusions. Although Hamlet is, according to Ophelia, “the observed of all observers”, he still says he has stuff that isn’t in plain sight (“passes show”). It is Polonius who reads through Hamlet’s love letters to Ophelia. He is the third observing party. But does the “overseer” have a good look or overlook the crucial detail?

“dead letter” - unclaimed or undelivered piece of mail.

“ghosts that spook the posts” - Ghosts makes us think of Hamlet. His father’s ghost is a message for him to read. But also Kafka described his love letters as ghosts.

“tea leaves… apple peel” - this is the idea again that unlike the straightforward message of “wish you were here” which means what it says, these are messages that people have to interpret in complex mystical ways.

“turn and turn again” this is a Iago reference. Again a messenger that you cannot trust.

“grus aus” - a misrendering of “greetings from” in German. A “gruss aus postcard” is a type of old postcard.

“foxed” - as well as meaning tricked, this describes a corner of a piece of paper that’s turned up.

“that would scan” - Hamlet says this when considering killing Claudius while he’s praying. It sounds OK but it isn’t enough.

“each cushion is needled” - now we’re back with Poe.

“you sit behind green glasses” - after the incompetent police officers, the third party, the loved one comes in who sees what is in plain sight.

“gently take what they mistake” - Theseus says this about Bottom in Midsummer Night’s Dream. So although Eric’s writing is all bumbling and full of mistakes, a wise and noble reader is able to see what he means. (Wordsworth speaks of “gentle reader”).

“I didn’t hide it, so you couldn’t find it”  - the Poe character escapes detection at first precisely because he didn’t hide the letter.

“I didn’t hide it so you couldn’t find it” - I hid it so you could find it!

“Come round for your snuffbox” etc - this is what Dupin does in the Poe story.

“Poins… Turpin”. Poins is a character in Henry IV Parts 1 and 2 who gives misleading messages. Turpin is of course the highwayman who got in the way of the post. 

“I love you” x3 - hoping for authenticity from the ultimate cliché?

“If looking liking moves” this is what Juliet says when her mum tells her that she should like Paris at the party. There’s a suggestion that the reader has to want to like what they read. Eric has written his declaration of love, the loved one has to want to read it. Or it could just mean, sometimes what you see is what you get / love. This scene is concerned with surface reading - Lady Capulet tells Juliet to “read the volume of young Paris’ face”. Of course Juliet doesn’t fall in love with Paris, but she does fall in love at first sight at the party. So looking does liking move. It’s interesting that the poem ends on a conditional clause. I guess maybe it’s open to the reader’s interpretation and my Year 10 students were wrong after all.

[a-mid-summernight-dreamland]

A Midsummers Night Dream research

A Midsummers Night Dream is a comedy and was created by William Shakespeare (All's Well That Ends Well, As You Like It and many more) written in 1596/96.

It describes the events surrounding the marriage of Theseus, the Duke of Athens, to Hippolyta, the former queen of the Amazons. It includes the adventures of four young Athenian lovers Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius and Helena and a group of six amateur actors (the mechanicals) who are controlled and manipulated by the fairies who inhabit the forest in which most of the play is set. 

Themes in A Midsummers Night Dream:

The difficulties of love; “The course of true love never did run smooth," remarks Lysander.” The theme of love is often explored in relation to men owning women, this is evident when Theseus says “I wooed thee with my sword and won thy love doing thee injuries”. This suggests that he owns Hippolyta. This attitude about women would have been widely accepted by an Elizabethan audience, because at the time males were considered the more dominant sex even with a female at the throne. However to a modern audience, it is almost awkward how he speaks to her. Hippolyta is an Amazon Queen, a fierce warrior, yet this man has "wooed” her. This imbalance of power is also show in Oberon and Titania's relationship. Oberons jealousy of the Indian boy outweighs his love for Titania, and he humiliates her by enchanting her.

Magic; The use and misuse of magic has an important role in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. As a theme, Puck’s use of magic creates humour, conflict and balance in the play. The magic of Puck changes the head of Bottom into that of a donkey. Puck’s own use magic adds more humour to the already hilarious and over-confident character of Bottom. Puck’s magic also creates a great deal of humour in the awareness of Bottom and Titania. The contrasted humour is clearly shown as Titania weaves flowers into the hair of Bottom’s donkey like head. Titania is a beautiful and delicate creature, while Bottom is completely grotesque. Magic creates an unreal image of Bottom, which in turn creates a comical contrast between Bottom and Titania. As part of the already comical sub-plot, Bottom’s altering through magic adds even more humour to the overall play. Pucks magic also causes a little mishap between the Lovers, when Puck accidentally pours a love juice in the wrong eye, Lysander. It throws the love story off balance and now means that both Demetrius and Lysander love Helena and both she and Hermia are left a little confused.

The nature of dreams; After their surreal night of magic and mayhem in the forest, both the lovers and Bottom describe what happened to them as a "dream." They use the word "dream" to describe their experiences, because they wouldn't otherwise be able to understand the bizarre and irrational things that they remember happening to them in the forest. By calling their experiences dreams, Bottom and the lovers allow those experiences to exist as they are, without need for explanation or understanding. 

Plays within plays; A Midsummer Night's Dream is a play containing other plays. The most obvious example is the mechanicals' performance of Pyramus and Thisbe, and their production serves three important functions in the larger structure of the larger play. First, the mechanicals mistakes and misunderstandings introduce a strand of farce to the comedy of the larger play. Second, it allows Shakespeare to comment on the nature of art and theatre, primarily through the mechanicals own confused belief that the audience won't be able to distinguish between fiction and reality. Third, the mechanicals play parodies much of the rest of A Midsummer Night's Dream: Pyramus and Thisbe are lovers who, facing opposition from their parents, elope, just as Hermia and Lysander do. So even as the lovers and Theseus make fun of the mechanicals ridiculous performance, the audience, which is watching the lovers watch the mechanicals play, is aware that the lovers had been just as absurd.

Men and Women; The relationship between men and women echoes across both the mortal and fairy worlds of A Midsummer Night's Dream. More specifically, both the fairy and mortal plots in the play deal with an attempt by male authority figures to control women. Though Theseus and Hippolyta appear to share a healthy loving relationship, it is a love built upon a man asserting power over a woman: Theseus won Hippolyta's love by defeating her in battle. Oberon creates the love juice in an attempt to control his disobedient wife. Egeus seeks to control his daughter's marriage. And while the play ends happily, with everyone either married or reconciled, the love on display is of a very particular kind: it is a love in which women accept a role subservient to their husbands. To a modern audience this likely seems rather offensive, but an Elizabethan audience would have generally accepted that men are the head of the household just as the king is the head of society.

However A Midsummer Night's Dream suggests that love can also take a terrible toll on same-sex friendships. Even before the lovers get into the forest, Helena betrays her friend Hermia for love. And once they do get into the forest, all the intense feelings nearly cause the men to duel and brings the women almost to blows as well. 

The Supernatural; In A Midsummer Night's Dream, Shakespeare has created a fantastical world of fairies and magic. The fairies and their magic are the engine of the plot: Oberon's love juice sets the plot in motion, Puck's mistakes applying the juice and his mischievous transformation of Bottom's head into an ass's head complicates it, and Puck's tricks and illusions to keep the mortals while he fixes his love juice errors bring everything to a resolution. And in the face of this magic, mortal dilemmas such as the laws of Athens fall away.

There is no protagonist in A Midsummers Night Dream as there are 3 groups of main characters, however Puck is perceived as the most important character.

Settings and Time; A Midsummers Night Dream combines elements of Ancient Greece with elements of Renaissance England.

Place· A Midsummers Night Dream is set in Athens and the forest outside its walls.

[fuckboisoflit]

Publicist and all-around fangirl of things, A.J. Feuerman (@AJFeuerman) is here to discuss her longstanding love for the weird Shakespearean sex farce, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. This bonkers play is not-so-secretly about women's choices and agency, with a nice dash of romance and sisterly bonds. It's so, so much more than Puck. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @FuckboisOfLit http://www.twitter.com/fuckboisoflit https://ift.tt/3jvAXlw SUMMARY In ancient Athens, two men and two women are in a battle of love. Hermia is in love with Lysander, but her father, Egeus, wants her to marry Demetrius. Demetrius was partnered with Hermia's best friend, Helena, until Egeus offered him a different deal. Local leader Theseus, on the eve of his own wedding to the Amazon warrior Hippolyta, declares Hermia to do as her father wishes, so Hermia and Lysander escape to the woods, to travel to his grandmother's house to get married. Meanwhile, faerie king Oberon wants to play a trick on his wife, Titania, so he orders his minion Puck to drug her to make her fall in love with the first thing she sees– hopefully the monstrous Bottom, a weaver who has been turned into a donkey. In addition to drugging Titania, Puck messes up and drugs Lysander and Demetrius in succession, making them both fall in love with Helena, leaving Hermia alone and confused. The play resolves in typical Shakespearean comedy fashion– with weddings. But who will be wedded to whom? by FBoL

[fuckboisoflit]

A Midsummer Night's Dream - A.J. Feuerman

Publicist and all-around fangirl of things, A.J. Feuerman (@AJFeuerman) is here to discuss her longstanding love for the weird Shakespearean sex farce, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM. This bonkers play is not-so-secretly about women's choices and agency, with a nice dash of romance and sisterly bonds. It's so, so much more than Puck.

Follow us on Twitter and Instagram @FuckboisOfLit

http://www.twitter.com/fuckboisoflit

http://www.instagram.com/fuckboisoflit

SUMMARY

In ancient Athens, two men and two women are in a battle of love. Hermia is in love with Lysander, but her father, Egeus, wants her to marry Demetrius. Demetrius was partnered with Hermia's best friend, Helena, until Egeus offered him a different deal. Local leader Theseus, on the eve of his own wedding to the Amazon warrior Hippolyta, declares Hermia to do as her father wishes, so Hermia and Lysander escape to the woods, to travel to his grandmother's house to get married. Meanwhile, faerie king Oberon wants to play a trick on his wife, Titania, so he orders his minion Puck to drug her to make her fall in love with the first thing she sees– hopefully the monstrous Bottom, a weaver who has been turned into a donkey. In addition to drugging Titania, Puck messes up and drugs Lysander and Demetrius in succession, making them both fall in love with Helena, leaving Hermia alone and confused. The play resolves in typical Shakespearean comedy fashion– with weddings. But who will be wedded to whom?

Check out this episode!