#These guys are scientific nerds they would do that out of interest as well as duty to watch over her

[meangreennunseen]

Remembered that one post of how Ultramarines would just flock to assist their pregnant Legion Mother en masse just like herd animals they are and I raise you:

Thousand Sons doing same, but instead of mass assistance they follow her examining her as rare animal species.

Heavily pregnant Legion Mother feeling she is followed, only to turn around to see like seven Thousand Sons astartes trying awkwardly hide behind a pillar which is smaller than their entire band. One peeks his head out before hastily ducking back. There is murmuring and another peak from other side. When she hears scribbling on the paper and sees few more heads awkwardly peak. One of the Sons waves awkwardly.

[ckret2]

Ages ago I made a post about what Ford thinks about Bill (in a billford context), and I've had an infodump on what Bill thinks about Ford floating on discord for months, and an ask finally prompted me to post it, so here ya go:

If asked why he likes Ford, Bill himself claims that Ford overthinks everything, but in such fun, interesting ways, and Bill likes the way Ford thinks about things.

But really, Bill overthinks everything too; it's just he overthinks social things. He's always calculating how to persuade, control, manipulate people. He never has a conversation that isn't a chess game, it's exhausting and he won't even admit it's exhausting. When's the last time his top priorities weren't either "how do I convince some sucker to make a portal" or "ugggh I'm so SICK of the PORTAL I'm gonna THROW A PARTY and NOT THINK AT ALL"

Whereas Ford is guy who'd hear someone say something incorrect and bluntly go "no you're wrong" and accidentally offend the hell out of them because he's SO excited to share this fantastic information they don't know. The social world DOES NOT EXIST for him until he's reminded of it.

And so he's free to turn all his brainpower instead to. Like. The environmental impact of barf fairies on fern fertilizer or whatever.

Bill knows Everything™ but he's gotten tired of doing anything with that knowledge. They're all discrete points of information to him. He doesn't have time to muse over things, he's got an inventor to manipulate at 11pm and then a party to get to at midnight. He's never once in his life thought about the impact of barf fairies on the local flora. But he does happen to know the plants in that part of the woods are more acid-resistant and wow is that why???? He's never even thought to think about that before. Thousand year mystery that Bill didn't even notice has been solved.

(On the other hand "Ford doesn't think to think about the intricacies of social interaction" is also part of what makes him so easy to manipulate, he's so much more inclined to just accept at face value a friendly offer of assistance on a big academic project. Sure Bill's helping for the sake of scientific advancement in and of itself, why wouldn't he?)

Bill wants to just, fling random facts at Ford and see if he can think up connections between them. Go nerd boy go nerd boy go

"... So there you have it Ford, that's the problem you'll have to overcome with adapting alien machinery to human fuel sources, now I wanna hear YOUR thoughts on how to overcome that problem." "Well—" talks in an uninterrupted stream that by thirty minutes in has drifted over to the history of kerosene production, which he read an interesting book about between semesters in college— "... I've gotten off topic, haven't I?" "No no, I think you're on to something. This is how brainstorming works, free association of concepts. Keep going."

Ford in the morning: "... oh no I didn't let my muse get a word in edgewise for the rest of the dream, i didn't bore him did I?" Bill: "damn, I never noticed the patent process for hurricane lamps was so contentious. There's little dramas everywhere"

When things are going well, their relationship is,

Ford: "I just wanna hear Bill teach me things about the multiverse forever."

Bill: "I just wanna hear Ford think deeply on any topic that crosses his mind forever."

Both of them when they're in peak harmony: excitedly jabbering at each other at 200 words per minute about the stupidest topic you've ever heard, but you'd need a phd in at least two fields to comprehend it

That's love!!!

Ford, having historically been socially shamed: "... am I being weird?"

Bill: "💕❤️💓yeah❣️💖❤️‍🔥"

Sometimes I think about Bill watching Ford in his sleep and being in awe at this human-shaped genius: you with your beautiful electric mind, packed into this soft flawed uneven body. one would never know it from the outside—but you're in there. This genius with a mind like a galaxy. ... and he's like, growing hair and stuff. wild.

[justali-anne]

Undertale special interest kicking in... I swear I'm never getting tired of these guys...

I can imagine them sometimes meeting up Post-Pacifist for game nights. Like... board games, card games, video games... I have a few headcanons about it.

Card/Board games:

Let's address the elephant in the room: Monopoly is banned. Just straight up banned. They played once... Never again. Let's just say by the end of the night there were magic spears wedged deeply into Toriel's new wallpaper... and the wall... and the brick of the house... And the window was shattered. Yeah, Monopoly, it's banned, it's banned.

Papyrus has no poker face whatsoever. Meanwhile, Sans and Frisk have VERY impressive poker faces, and they're both aware of it. Once, they formed some sort of secret alliance and they dominated poker night. It was Frisk's first time playing, too!

I imagine Frisk would just be a natural at all games, hands down. Well, kind of. They don't always win, but they learn very quickly. Jack of all trades, I suppose.

Undyne has this habit of flipping boards (a classic) and shooting magic spears whenever she loses at a game or just gets EXTREMELY passionate about it. Although, if Alphys or Papyrus are the ones that beat her, she'll grit her teeth and act happy for them, just to make them happy.

Unfortunately, Papyrus picked up on Undyne's bad habit and bones started scattering the walls. Toriel had to ban magic bullets in the house after one of them almost gave Frisk a concussion.

Asgore is pretty good at card games, actually! I like to imagine he sometimes spends time with old friends of his, like Gerson and stuff, and they would have tea and play games while they chat, so he's had a lot of practice.

Toriel, on the other hand, hasn't played any board games or cards in AGES thanks to her isolation in the Ruins. She's not terrible, but she's not particularly GOOD at them either.

Sometimes, certain members of the group would try to break Sans' calmness, because while everyone had gotten annoyed at one point or another during game nights, Sans never did. Long story short, nope, he's just too chill. He's just happy to be here.

Once, Alphys bought a Mew Mew Kissy Cutie board game for game night, and she was so excited to show everyone the ropes (and dominate the night for once). She only won one game. And then she had an identity crisis afterwards!

Snacks! They do a rotation on who gets to be in charge of the food! Undyne and Papyrus are NO LONGER in this rotation after they brought in flaming spaghetti and almost set the couch on fire. Even then, you could only really trust Frisk, Toriel and Asgore with the snacks, since Alphys doesn't cook (she brings in store-bought cupcakes, it's the thought that counts), and Sans always forgets or is just too lazy to get snacks, so he orders pizza.

Video games:

They meet up to play stuff like Smash Bros, Mario Kart and Mario Party, but when they play online multiplayer games, like Minecraft, Terraria etc. they just stay home and go on a Zoom call or something. It's a lot less stressful for the introverts of the group (mainly Alphys, but I suppose Toriel could qualify [Undyne and Papyrus are absolutely extroverts; Sans and Frisk are moreso ambiverts, I think]) because they don't have to go out to do it! Yay!

They do all the things typical friends do when they're playing online games! They troll, they tease, they laugh, they help each other out, they TRY to work as a team (emphasis on TRY)...

One of the games I'd like to see them play is Human Fall Flat (I have that game and I play it with my sister :]). I want to see some RAGE. I'm sure Papyrus would love doing the puzzles, but at the same time, I'm sure the others not cooperating or knowing what's going on would tick him off. Yessss... Let Papyrus rage.

Sometimes Alphys and/or Sans would trail off into some scientific conversation or tangent, and after a minute or so, the others would start yelling over them, "NERD!!! NERDS! NERRDDD!!!" Alphys would get flustered, and Sans would desperately try to keep his composure and try not to burst out laughing.

Undyne and Papyrus have the extraordinary ability to make even the calmest, simplest games intense. ESPECIALLY Undyne, oh my goooood. Though I guess she could use the extra stimulation, she will NOT settle for a game with a slow pace. So much for Animal Crossing.

In addition, the gang can get VERY competitive at Mario Kart and stuff. Undyne is obviously the most competitive, but I think Papyrus and Alphys would want to try and impress her. Frisk and Sans? Nah, they're chilling. They don't care, they're just here to watch the chaos. Yeah... There's a reason why Asgore and Toriel don't often play games with these guys. Though they would watch and look upon them fondly. I dunno, it just seems cute.

[shinalenecaffeinatedwriter]

GunnTechAU!Villains Incorrect Quotes

Because I like to think that they also have the power of friendship on their side.

Isabella: Truth or dare?

Luna: Truth

Isabella: How many hours have sleep this week?

Luna: ...Dare

Isabella: Go to sleep!

Luna: I don't like this game

---------

Luna: You can never lose an argument if you say “Shut up, Nerd” at the end

Romeo: Yes, you can

Luna: Shut up, Nerd

----------

[After their first time working together as villains]

Isabella: Do something that I wasn't willing to do all those years ago

Nori: Uh hu, Bring GunnTech down, right?

Isabella: No. Get some therapy, *Burst of laughter* *Snickers* Mother of God!

----------

Nori: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Luna?

Luna: Nah,

Kevin: I do!

Nori: We know, Kevin

Kevin: I'm sad

Luna: We know, Kevin

----------

Luna: Damn It! English doesn't have enough curse words! *Curses in Italian*

Wolfy Kids: Please don't cuss at us in a language we don't speak, Luna

----------

Kevin: Sis,

Luna: I'm not your sis, Kevin

Kevin: Sister, I crave chaos

Luna: Good

*Kevin gets headpats*

----------

Romeo: Hey Nori, do you want to make 20 dollars fairly easy?

Nori: How?

Luna, from the other room: Oh, my God!

Nori: What did you do?

Romeo: Well…

Luna: WHAT THE HELL?!?

Nori: Make it 50

Romeo: Deal! *Hands the money*

Luna, storming in: WHO WAS IT!? WHO DID THIS!?

Nori, putting the money on his pocket: It was Romeo

----------

[After GunnTech managed to capture Isabella, Who manages to escape pretty easily]

Isabella: What are you guys doing?

Luna: Wh- You- We're here to save you

Isabella, dumbfounded: You were gonna... save me?

Luna: It was a really good plan too

Isabella, absolutely moved: Well, I can go back inside and you can still do it.

Nori: That's patronizing...

-----------

Hywel: You know, I wish you guys would take a greater interest in my things, we're siblings, but sometimes feels like we're just roommates.

Rhiannon: Hywel, if you don't cut it out with YOUR MIDDLE CHILD NOSENSE!! I'm gonna SHOVE your head into THE TOILET!

----------

Hywel: Shit! Ripp, What does this say?

Rhiannon: I don't know, Howler. One of you knocked out the one who could read Latin! (Romeo)

Kevin: Why don't we ask Luna?

Rhiannon: No! Then Nori would laugh at us.

Luna: Guys, I-

Rhiannon: We know what It says, we can read. [We can't read...]

-----------

Hywel: I suffer from Ligma

Isabella, who has been mostly in hiding since GunnTech and not interacting with people nor Internet: ...What's Ligma?

.

.

.

Kevin: I'm going to tell her,

Rhiannon: Don't. You. Dare.

----------

Rhiannon: Lu, Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

Luna: Wha-?

Rhiannon: Yeah, It runs in your genes

Luna: *Snickers* Jeez, that's so stupid...

Rhiannon: *Chuckles*

-----------

Nori: I guess I'm just too tough to cry

Hywel: Yesterday you were crying about snakes

Nori, with tears in their eyes: They don't have any arms

-----------

Luna: What did you do? I said distract them not knocked them out!

Nori: ...There's just no pleasing you sometimes

-----------

What are you scared of?

Luna: Closed spaces

Rhiannon: Not being enough to the people that depends on me

Kevin: Spiders

Hywel: GunnTech’s experiments

Nori: Being alone

Romeo: The irrefutable knowledge that nature thinks we don’t need anything else on an evolutional level although they’re so many things we, as humans, still haven’t accomplish; the only solution that we have is scientific progress.

Isabella: Romeo

Kevin: Can I change my anwswer to match Isa’s?

[kairiscorner]

i just thought of something 👀👀 what would the spiderteens think of a reader who is really nerdy or can talk on and on about a topic they're very interested in (bonus points if the topic is academics-related). they ramble about it and when they realize they're rambling they get all shy while apologizing profusely and then they stop talking out of embarrassment. 🤐🤐🤐

~ 🫐

SO CUTEEEEEE, I HOPE U LIKE THIS !!! (also happy monthsary to this blog !! consider this as a gift, to all fellow nerds and non-nerds on my blog :DD)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

• ────── ✾ ────── •

⋆｡°�� — miles morales.

he loves how bright and wide your eyes get, how broad your smile becomes when you're rambling, going on and on about your favorite topics at school. miles doesn't have the strongest opinion on school, he finds it pretty decent, but seeing you be so passionate about your niche interest about anything in school–be it an interesting scientific theory, mathematical equation, literary piece, historical or cultural event you know well–he finds himself getting roped into your interest and... gets lost in your eyes. he lets your voice lead him to a whole lecture room where you just talk, talk, and talk about your beloved lessons as if you were the teacher, just so much more passionate about what you know and love learning about.

when you realize you're rambling is the second cutest part, you get all flustered when your gaze meets his and you feel all conscious about the way your facial muscles stretch since you've been smiling for minutes on end just talking about the lesson you love so much. the cutest part is when you giggle to yourself while talking about what you love and while you apologize for rambling. miles gets bewitched every time you giggle and smile through your intense fluster.

"hey, hey, hey, no... don't stop." he whispers to you with a loving smile as he placed his hands on yours, looking up at you with his chestnut brown eyes and warm gaze. "tell me more! you're so much better than all my teachers combined, you'll be the reason i'll get a pluses on every subject now." he said with a small chuckle and he leaned closer to you, ready to hang on to every word you say.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

⋆｡°✩ — gwen stacy.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

she's always the first one you go to when rambling about your favorite lesson being finally discussed in class; it makes for good conversation while gwen's fixing up her worn out ballet shoes or thinking over her answers while you two do homework. she chuckles to herself when you start using onomatopoeias to emphasize your points, as if she can fully understand how much you love the subject you keep going on and on about, when all she can do is witness how adorable you are being all bright-eyed and innocent when talking about the subject and topics you love.

it's only when she chuckles out an, "okay, nerd," to you that your voice falters and you try finding your train of thought again after gwen derailed it with that little comment of hers that was only meant to tease you. she notices you hesitation to talk again and gets worried, she asks you if you're doing alright and telling you she's sorry if it hurt you, she never meant for that.

she places her hands on both of your shoulders and smiles at you softly. "when i say you're a nerd, i always mean... that you're my charming, darling of a nerd. i love you and your big, fat brain and when your cute, nerdy little voice gets louder when you talk about your interests. you're the smartest and the cutest, my little nerd." she says playfully with a cheeky smile as she plants a kiss on your cheek, watching you get all flustered and stammering as she giggles and gets all flushed in the face seeing how adorable you look right now as a bumbling mess of a nerd, her nerd.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

⋆｡°✩ — pavitr prabhakar.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

he's never had to really try at school, but he does it anyway, because his main source of inspiration is your little dorky ass. he has never seen anyone be so in love with the lessons being taught, being so passionate about them—he feels the need to do even better than he's already doing at school because of you, and because of that... you two have been shipped together. a lot.

pav doesn't mind it, in fact, when you two got closer, became friends and everything, he realized you were a walking encyclopedia of the subject you like. you'd ramble on and on to him for hours if you could, with the sweetest smile on your face and the brightest shine in your eyes—it was like you could do no wrong, except for talk, talk, and talk about everything you loved that not everyone else in school did with the same fervor as you.

"you know..." he interrupted you mid-sentence as he smiled widely at you, his gaze fixed upon you as your eyes met his and you got all... flustered. "i could listen to you talk all day, you're way more fun than the teachers, i bet you know a lot more than they do for the lessons. can you maybe... be my tutor? that's the perfect excuse to ask if i can come over to your place, hmm?" he asked you with a sly smile and a smooth talking voice that had your stammering and giggling like a dork, which you were to him. "what a cute little dork i scored, so adorable!"

• ────── ✾ ────── •

⋆｡°✩ — hobie brown.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

his smile matched yours as he listened to you blabber on and on to him about this one topic you guys had during a lecture that you just couldn't help but be so in love with. he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you in closer to hear you better. your voice went quieter at times when you felt hobie get closer to you or heard him hum in response to your rambling, with him smiling even wider and gazing down at you so lovingly and affectionately.

he'd nod and share his own understanding of the lessons you learned, despite not being so fond of the education system, he'd very invested in what you're interested in. hobie's done his own learning and can keep up and share ideas with you, but he's also done a lot of loving with you, so having him be so supportive of your nerdy self that refuses to shut up about your favorite subject and topic and be the one to make you all flustered and stuttering is a dream combination.

he squeezes your arm gently and flashes you a sweet smile as you keep talking about your favorite topic from the lecture you had. "oh, really? damn, well, did you know..." he went on and on sharing his own understanding of the topic—which you found so cute—and he turns to look at you and raises an eyebrow. "y'know, i... kinda fancy cute little nerds like you who shut up when i y'get noticed–actually, i just fancy you and your big brain. c'mere, lemme pepper that cute little head with the biggest brain in the whole universe with kisses." he said with a slight chuckle underneath his breath at the sight of you getting more and more flustered, and becoming a completed melted mess of his little nerd as he peppered your face with kisses.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

tags !! @k4tsu3 @onginlove @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @solecitoszn @euphovlq @arachnoia @conitagray

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 9: Mort: Ragnarick

(God is dead and we killed him…and killed him…and killed him)

Turn away now to avoid the Viking hordes of spoilers ahead

My Favs

Delightfully unhinged…

This is a perfect description of the episode (and this season as a whole)

Somehow this episode combines the afterlife of Norse mythology, Pokémon, Bigfoot becoming an enemy-turned-ally and a showdown with the leader of the Roman Catholic Church into a story that is cohesive and wildly entertaining. Every single screen grab of this episode is one WTF moment after another, probably more so than any other episode to date.

…and sacrilegious

Did I mention that the villain of the episode is the Pope himself? Well it is.

“Fuck you, I’ve been tired”

Gotta love a sassy Morty moment.

Feral Clone Rick

I can imagine the conversation the director had in the recording booth,

“ Hey Ian, we’re going to need you to sound like a rabid squirrel at this moment. No, more rabid. More rabid.”

Plus, I don’t know what comment the writers are saying by implying a feral, animalistic version of Rick can make his way up the hierarchy of the Catholic Church….

Heavy Metal song during the tower defense sequence

Bigfoot being transported into Summer’s clone

Honest moment, I didn’t get why Summer/Bigfoot commented on how small her feet was the first time I watched this episode. I am slow on the uptake.

Poooooooope!

Popey Ball

I love me a corny pun and the fact that Rick had to point out this very corny, very obvious pun was icing on the cake.

Saying goodbye to Bigfoot

It absolutely killed me that they forced Bigfoot, who is just some guy at this point, back into the woods like he some stray animal. So mean!

Not My Fav

I wish we could have explored other afterlives.

When I saw the cold open for this episode I got really excited because I’m a bit of a mythology and religion nerd and I was expecting that this episode was going to be more of a deeper dive into different kinds of afterlives. It was a little bit disappointing that we only visited Valhalla and, very briefly, Jerry’s concrete and fog machine heaven. If I had written or pitched this episode I would have loved to see Rick and Morty hop around to different religions’ afterlives (Greek, Egyptian, Christian, Buddhist,etc.) and use different elements of those afterlives to harness infinite energy and defeat the Pope. Maybe in an early draft they went in that direction and it just got too bogged down and they had to cut back. Or maybe Valhalla is the only afterlife that Rick had a chance of getting into. He sure isn’t getting into Christian heaven after this episode.

My Thoughts

The concept of an afterlife is a bit tricky to develop in a show where one of your main characters is a staunch atheist and there is a scientific and naturalistic explanation for everything, including things that are traditionally associated with the supernatural, i.e. the afterlife. Of course, the explanation is nothing but science fiction mumbo-jumbo, that is said rapidly and moved on quickly, less we dwell on the nonsense too long. Nevertheless, I prefer the attempt to create consistency in the show's philosophy rather than have the writers throwing their hands in the air and conceding to the existence of the supernatural. Curious observation, we never see any deities in Valhalla and the Valhallans haven’t either since Rick is able to convince them that he’s Odin. Feral Rick being hung on a crucifix didn’t escape my attention either. It’s a running joke that Rick’s a god but maybe it’s not a joke after all…

This seems like a standalone episode but there has been a trend since season 4 or season 5 to have the penultimate episode connect with the finale, so I’m interested to see if this trend will continue. I don’t buy that Rick wants to tap into the afterlife just for the wealthy of infinite energy. Do you?

[fried-eggs152]

What are your Phineas and Ferb ships and how do you imagine their dynamics? Love your blog btw! :)

I saw this question and suddenly I wasn’t as tired as I thought I was I sat up and ran to the kitchen I felt like entrapta

(Thank you so much)

OK OKOK!! I have a couple in hand not much but some :D (I went on a rant I’m so sorry)

Let’s start with my two obvious favourites

1. Buford x phineas, sure bully x nerd cliche but this is a different type of relationship I see.

Slowly but surely they become close friends and even buddies, I feel like Buford would be a the same just less defensive with phineas and his random unhinged moments. Usually listening phineas rant about what seems to be a bug (or other things) and what type of bugs he’s allowed and not allowed to eat (summer belongs to you episode), and Buford would talk about his fish they both could keep each other going if they didn’t have their best friend (baljeet and ferb) they can remind each other of the small things they forget say perhaps phineas waking up as early as Buford does. Or reminding Buford to take care of himself once in a while that type of thing. As much as Buford tried to be a bully he has a limit of being a bully and honestly he isn’t so bad of a guy and I can see phineas reading that pretty well.

Their dynamic would be like..not like baljeet and Buford’s it just as much as a symbiotic relationship but a lil differently. Clownfish and anemones!!! That’s their relationship! Buford’s the anemone and phineas is the clownfish! (Ironic because of his shirt) it’s healthy and they keep each other going and safe! (Also phineas would prolly help with biff alot)

2. Perry the platypus x Peter the panda

Yeah I know I doubt Perry likes Peter after doof ‘cheated’ on him with Peter but when they work together (when they saved doofenshmirtz) I feel like Perry’s bitterness would fade slowly. (Also the time they went on a date when they fixed the balloon) as it did happen. Perry would find a way to get Peter in the picture, long term relationship wise. Their dynamic is kinda like ‘I secretly love you but I have to much of a lone wolf ego to say it’ and Peter ‘I know.’ Peter understands Perry’s relationship with Heinz and respects what was probably said boundary wise. The two having to listen to their nemesis or not listen it would be nice to just be with someone you can open up to even if it means in your own agency. And different species. It’s like a..hero x hero typa thing! They can keep each other up and going if their nemesis gets abit..much..I also feel like he’s be texting Peter on how stupidly naive Heinz could be and Peter rant about mysterious (what’s his name) being too closed off to open abit more.

Ok this one is especially weird- like ‘wtf 🤨’ weird

3. Lawrence x Heinz; OK hear me out (pls)

They had one interaction (when Lawrence temporarily became evil..it didn’t last) I didn’t think of it, it’s the dynamic I thought of.

Lawrence watching as Heinz talks to himself about it some platypus and the explosion leaving marks behind he would probably tend to the dirt and messes. Listening to Heinz rant and rant and rant- and when Heinz is done he’d ask for Lawrence’s info about antiques and such and they’d just share each others special interest (ADHD + Autism) and he’d take care of norm every once and awhile so Heinz doesn’t flip out on him. It’s healthy and Heinz would be so affectionate (probably) AND ferb would get to meet Heinz which works out to help Heinz make some fun inator’s (not evil Heinz’s attention would be on ferb and Lawrence’s safety his own is irrelevant) Lawrence would be oblivious to the evil but not to oblivious to see the inator’s. He’d prolly go “what is this dear?” -L

“It’s my new inator that vines down to a traumatic period of my life!” -H

“That’s healthy to put it in scientific technology. Do you want to talk about it over some almond brittle and tea?”-L

“You know me so well” -H

IT WOULD BE ADORABLE. (In my eyes)

4. Buford x ferb.

Alright almost the same thing as BxP but ferb’s silent demeanour would probably have an affect with Buford’s bully behaviour. Like put them in a room together Buford would say a couple mean things then suddenly he’s quiet. Almost sleepy at this point. Then suddenly ferb says one fact and Buford adds on to that fact and suddenly they’re having a one sided conversation as Buford debates said fact and ferb debates silently.

One would be the voice of the other (Buford being ferbs voice) about what’s right or wrong.

(Not much on this ship tbh)

5. Baljeet x phineas the two’s dynamic is simple and easy!

Anddd baljeet would be there to fix little mistakes phineas would do (Audhd) and phineas would be sorta annoyed but literally happy he doesn’t think about that small mistake for the rest of his life.

Another symbiotic relationship. Unknown animals though I’d say Coyote and badger, both smart in their own ways.

Almost about It maybe Isabella one day attention for her x someone

Maybe a fireside girl

Alr let me think some more

[ketchup-monthly]

Lanternfam’s favorite vampire media

with the help by @space-specs

Hal- Monster High (the justice league hates when they do mental links via J’onn because he constantly has the first opening stuck in his head and doesn’t even realize hes humming it until someone says something and even then it doesn’t really go away until he has something else stuck in his head. he has also on multiple occasions cross-dresses as one of the female characters to match with Helen, who would dress as one of the guy characters. Hal kills it every single time. he looks so good its not even funny.)(the main two that Hal does are Rochelle Goyle and Operetta. Helen’s are Deuce Gorgon and Holt Hyde)(if anyone wants to draw Hal in either of those outfits please hit me up it would be so good and i would be forever grateful and maybe even owe you a kiss on the forehead for your troubles)

Guy- Twilight (he likes the side characters and wishes that SMeyer hadn’t fucked them all up like she did. he likes the baseball scene in the first movie bc it slaps, and Emmett and Leah are his favorite characters. Emmett is a lot like him and Leah was written so badly. They both deserved so much better.)(he totally doesn’t write twilight fix its on the internet but if you know the right places to go, there may be a fix it fic written by one EmeraldWarrior.)(the fics fix a lot of things about the series and are actually pretty good and god i wish they were real -ketchup)(jo doesn’t read his fics, but she has mutuals who are into Twilight and have read them, so she has heard about the fics in detail from them. she doesn’t put two and two together until she meets Guy and immediately is like “hey wait” and the secret is out but still between the two of them -specs)

John- The Argeneau Series (its vampires but they made it scientific and actually gave answers for why vampires do and require certain things instead of just leaving it down to “idk man. magic or something.” its also not too well known or talked about, so no one has had a chance to ruin it yet. just like how john likes it.)

Kyle- The Lost Boys (comics nerds have to fight vampires and look into comic books to find the answers. home alone with vampire fighting mechanics. need i say more?)(ketchup has never seen this before ever)

Jess- The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters (the series focuses more on the angelic and demonic than the vampires themselves, but they still play a large role in it. She believes Raphael deserved better and thinks its funny that the main vampire character is named Simon.)(the movie does not exist.)

Simon- Buffy the Vampire Slayer (fuck Joss Whedon but Buffy. he liked some parts of the show and hated others but thought it was a very interesting interpretations of an American high school.)

Jo- Castlevania (it is not anime but it is the closest western media will get to that. western animation can do things good too! -specs)(as soon as specs mentioned this, i went oooooooooooh *eyes emoji* bc i love the first two seasons sooo much -ketchup)(also yayyyyy video game series!!)

Keli- Dracula das Musical (she accidentally found it through the Korean version of Zu Ende with the redheaded Dracula on youtube and then watched a subtitled recording of it and fell in love. She likes all the versions of it that are not in English, but the German one is her favorite)(this is ketchups favorite musical)

Alan- Nosferatu (1922) (it is the vampire movie of all time and even though its corny as all get out, he likes the simplicity of it as well as the staying power it had through the depression and the world war. its also just a really hilariously stupid adaptation of Dracula.)

Carol- Vampire Academy (she can and will go on hours long rants about various things in the series. Hal has never read the books, but he did watch the movie on his own time so he could better understand her rants but that just made Carol more angry. the movie does not exist. Hal can still have a conversation with even the most dedicated of readers about the series based on what he has absorbed through osmosis from Carol.)(in this scenario specs is Hal and me and our roommate are both Carol. as this was typed, specs and i had a conversation about the plot in vampire academy lol -ketchup)

Kilowog- Hotel Transylvania (Keli showed it to him while deviously grinning in the corner, a grinch smile on her face bc she was determined to get the big tough alien into the most memeable animated vampire media ever. ‘wog doesn’t get it and ends up dealing psychic damage to the rest fo the earth lanterns when he says its his favorite of the Terran media they show him)

Razer- Blade (he likes knives so he likes the name. also. Blade is a vampire who fights other vampires and Razer is a red lantern who fights other red lanterns. it fits.)

Thaal- Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) (theres a weird monsterfucking scene that kept ketchup from watching it the first time they tried. Thaal would get a kick out of it because hes a kinky motherfucker, as well as the stupid butt wig. seriously wtf is up with the butt wig. its so stupid)

B’dg- Count Chocula cereal boxes (his preferred form of media is staring at cardboard boxes. he finds them very entertaining.)

Helen- Cirque du Freak (specifically the manga adaptation)(she 100% convinced Hal to dress up as Larten Crepsley so she could dress up as Darren for Halloween one year, and this series singlehandedly got her over her fear of spiders)(if you haven’t read the graphic novels they’re so good i promise -ketchup)

[writing-positivelyexisting]

Across The Holonet

The Bad Batch. Tech/Reader. | writing-positivelyexisting🫧

For the 100 followers celebration, I give you this fluffy Tech/Reader! Thank you guys! <3

Walking through your apartment door, you immediately kick off your torturous heels into the small pile of other shoes in the entrance. A sigh of relief escapes your lips, feeling the cool tile floor sink its teeth into your bare feet, and your shoulders slump slightly forward now that no one important would be looking at you. Yes, the comfy confines of your apartment is your own little safe haven and you were a-okay with it.

You toss your keys onto your small dining table that sat in its nook by the balcony and an all too familiar beep from your data pad calls to you. A smile comes to your features and the excitement in your stomach grows.

You pull it out with earnestness, your smile ever growing when you read the name and the text that came with it.

Tech: I apologize for my delayed response, but here’s why you are incorrect:

The concept of “love” is purely subjective. Any “scientific” findings can hardly be attributed as fact. “Love” is merely a concept, a fallacy. A phenomenon, if you so wish.

Now, to be honest, what this man (whom you do not actually know) said broke your heart, yet set it ablaze all the same. He did have some points, but you were going to argue to hell and back on this subject. It was kind of your livelihood.

YN: I won’t say that you are incorrect, that love is subjective. However, on a physiological level we do experience “love”. Our whole body is included when this happens, all five of our senses! There’s stages to love and even found chemistry!

You bite on your bottom lip, anxiously watching his little thought bubble illuminate as he is typing back a response.

Tech: That’s interesting you say that. Please, do explain in further detail, YN. I’m most curious about this research.

Thank the stars and Maker you live alone. The pitchy school-girl squeal you emit as you begin rapidly typing away your explanations would have surely gotten you some sideways glances. You find yourself so ecstatic to share your knowledge on romance, you are a romantic! A hopeless one maybe, but a romantic still.

You skip over to your plush bed, laying down and smiling as you send multiple texts in a row. You really are passionate about this, although the true science of love isn’t your main focus. No, it isn’t about science for you. It’s about literature. The emotions that words can have. How one can convey just so much devotion with one singular sentence!

Still, you decided to dabble in the science of love just a little. And thank the stars again because it’s proving useful right about now.

YN: Our brains release a magnitude of chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, and the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin reinforce the attachment a couple has that makes the relationship last!

Tech: I do see how that is accurate. The chemicals you listed are definitely considered “happy” and therefore could explain “love” on a more complex level. You have done some extensive research on this matter. Is this your profession?

YN: No it’s not. I study romantic literature. Kinda a hopeless romantic, if you will. I’m a really big sucker for the “found family” trope. Do you read any literature like this?

Tech: Well, you’ve surely impressed me with the science even if it isn’t your expertise. I do read from time to time, however it is more about news articles, history texts, and manuals for all sorts of technology. What is the “found family” trope? It interests me.

You giggle to yourself. Tech reads manuals? You shake your head with a smile at this nerd on your screen, typing an answer to his question.

YN: “Found family” is when a group of unrelated characters create a sort of pseudo family based on shared or similar experiences. Usually the characters aren’t related by blood but sometimes there are characters who are maybe half siblings or adopted.

YN: Why I like this plot device so much is because I dream of having my own family someday. For now, I’ll experience my dream through fiction. What about you, Tech? Do you want to experience creating your own family?

On the receiving end of your text, Tech is stumped. He can feel his heart rate increase as he thinks about how to answer.

Tech: …that is a difficult question. It depends on what you mean. I do not think that I have ever really understood the typical emotional connections that most people have to the concept of a family. Due to reasons, of course. However, I would like to find someone…someone that I can connect with on a deep level, who I can share my life with. Do you know what I mean?

You stare in wonder at his message. What did he mean by “I do not think that I have ever really understood the typical emotional connections that most people have to the concept of family”? Surely this man has a mother and father, at the very least? No matter how many questions you have for him, you don't want to pry and make him uncomfortable.

YN: A significant other, I believe, is the concept you're looking for. And, yes. I also would like to find a significant other to share life's endeavors and to grow with.

Tech: I see. Yes, that is the concept that I am searching for. I find it difficult to comprehend this concept because I am, by nature, a rather independent and self-sufficient person. I am not used to feeling a need for someone else.

Tech: However, I would like to find someone who can help me to understand how to feel these things, if you know what I mean? I would love to help someone grow, just as I would want someone to help me to grow.

Somehow you feel like time has stopped. Reading what Tech said about wanting to find that someone kicks your heartbeat into overdrive. Your breathing is slightly out of rhythm but you feel absolutely fine. Then you close your eyes and shake your head.

You don’t know this man beyond your screen. You met him a week ago by pure chance. He had responded to a little snippet you posted on the holonet and it jostled your emotions enough for you to respond back. You and him have been talking since. Primarily, and personally, you find his comments intelligent and his conversation is so stimulative! Your friends that you know closely don’t have this kind of communication like Tech. It’s a nice change of pace, truly.

YN: I understand completely, Tech.

Tech: And how about yourself? What are your thoughts on this concept? What would you say is your definition of a perfect significant other?

Tech: To me, my perfect significant other would be someone who is willing to accept me for the man that I am, and who has some of my core traits, such as logic, independence, and an unwillingness to rely on someone else. I would like a significant other who can help to offset my shortcomings, as I would help them with theirs. I believe that such a person would be a perfect match for me. What about you, YN? What traits do you favor?

This man continues to leave you stunned. You really didn’t expect him to give you a full description of what he wants in a partner! You situate yourself to sit on your bed, no longer feeling like this conversation is lazy. It seems like he’s actually moving away into a deeper conversation with you. Does he want to get to know you more… personally?

You take a deep breath, trying very hard on getting a normal pattern again. You reread his message and figure you will simply answer his questions.

YN: I favor a man who's honest, independent, logical, and patient. I expect him to be caring, wanting to understand me for me. Who will not judge me of my past, but will help me on my journey to become a better version of myself. Of course, I would like him to enjoy some things I enjoy, but ultimately I would love for him to be different so that we may be able to learn from each other.

The rapid beating of your heart returned. There is something about this conversation that is seriously so… exciting. You can’t quite explain why, but there’s a suspicion rising in your chest. It’s subtle but there. You find yourself nibbling on your knuckle as you wait for Tech to respond.

Tech: That is an excellent choice! I am quite a firm believer myself in the idea that differences are what can create a good relationship. My belief is that if two people in a relationship are too similar, there becomes an increased risk of conflict.

Tech: Having the two people within a relationship being different allows the two people to work well together. I believe that I could work well with someone who has a good mix of similarity and differences. I think you are quite wise, YN. Would you say that you are happy with your life at the moment?

His last question makes you raise an eyebrow. No one’s asked that before. Are you happy? You lower your data pad into your lap and take a moment to reflect.

You scan your room, seeing this place you’ve built and made your home brings a small smile to your face. You think about the job you have. You love reading and writing, getting to share all sorts of information about love with others fills you with a warm feeling. You’ve got a close circle of friends which you see a few times a month and you wouldn’t trade them for anyone else. Your upbringing was normal, so no complaints there.

Though, your dating life could be better. You weren’t really dating around but you know if someone offered you wouldn’t say no. This part of your life you’ve been letting it work itself out.

You bring your data pad back into your hands and type your answer.

YN: I am content with it. Although, I believe there is something missing. I know, however, I will find what it is in due time. Maybe it’s the lack of romance in my own life… What is your opinion on finding a significant other?

Reading your message, Tech tilts his head and looks away from the screen. Your question is a little daunting to him. He’d never really thought about it.

As a newly runaway soldier of the Republic he could probably try and form his own opinion on a partner. Though, he wondered if being an ex-soldier — and now renegade of the Empire — would be an appropriate lifestyle to harbor a relationship. Still… a man can still hope, right?

Tech: I see. Yes, I do believe that you have a good outlook on it. It can be difficult to know what it is that is missing, but that does not mean that you cannot work towards finding what it is that you are missing. I am content with my life as well. Perhaps not fully happy, but that does not mean that I cannot become happy.

Tech: As to your question, I think that finding a significant other should happen when the time is right. It is important to be patient, and to look for someone who best fits your needs as a person. Would you agree?

YN: I do agree! My father used to say “patience yields focus”. I really do try and apply it everywhere in my life and so far it’s proven useful. I’m glad we can see eye-to-eye about this, Tech. I think, especially now, many people are desperate to find love on their own.

Tech: I share the same sentiment. We seem to understand each other.

Tech: Unfortunately, I do not have any more time to further our conversation today. I would very much like for this to continue, however, and of course that is if you would prefer to continue as well.

YN: I would like nothing more than to continue our conversation later. I understand life can get busy, so shoot me a message whenever you find time again.

Tech: Thank you. I will.

You put your data pad down again and let out a breath like you were under water. What was that conversation? You place a hand over your heart and can feel it violently pumping against your ribs. Shutting your eyes with a small smile you recognized this feeling all too well. The fluttering in your stomach was as tell-tale a sign as any. Yes, you have developed a crush. A crush on someone over the holonet. A crush on someone who happened to comment on your writing. A crush on Tech.

You chuckle softly to yourself. This is silly. Still, you’ve learned not to hold back your emotions and simply let them flow through you. Decidedly, you are not planning on doing anything with this crush. You were going to watch things play out for themselves. Whatever happens happens.

word count: 2,198.

beta read by: @beating-a-dead-plot I LOVE YOU 💛 mwah, mwah!

tag list: @dangraccoon @i-am-the-geek-overlord @kixs-husband @ihaventpickedausername

I know this can have a second (if not more) part to it, so let me know with comments if you want a second part!! Love you guys, thank you all again for 100 followers!!! <3

[butterboy69420]

I had an argument with a guy on Twitter and I used scientific sources to back up my claims, as well as literal research papers to back up my evidence. Man tried to use biology against me but he didn't succeed because I am someone who has done grade 12 biology in high school and I'd like to think I passed with like, an A or something like that. And this is reactivating my fixation on biology and science and stuff because I currently do not have biology this semester.

This was the tweet that got the guy to respond to my thing with a gif with the caption, "Biology."

I think it's interesting that people who don't believe in transgender people will say stuff like, "Uh, biology says this." One thing I've learned in science in general is how things change over time. People back in the ye old days thought there were only 4 elements, and look at where we are now. 118 of them. 92 onwards are synthetic. Of course, that's widely accepted now. But the moment someone brings up the fact that sex and gender are different, someone gets mad. They're entitled to their beliefs, but as it stands right now, science is leaning towards the belief of sex and gender being two different things. Those were things that I brought up with this individual.

Of course, if one refuses to acknowledge that, that would make the rest of my points difficult to understand. My assumption was that this guy failed to take that into account, hence why he stuck to his beliefs. It is a difficult concept to wrap your head around for some people. Even I had trouble at first. But one way that helped me understand is that sex determines what type of body you have and what parts you're born with, and gender determines how you present yourself, and what brain structure you have.

Now, moving on. One of the guy's points was that "you can't change your genes or chromosomes, chromosomes decide your gender, not you."

As a science nerd, yes. I agree. Now, that sounds like I'm agreeing with him, but hear me out now. The XY chromosomes, as you know, determine sex characteristics, specifically biological sex characteristics. Stuff that's on your body and stuff. However, studies have shown that transgender people have brain structures and brain activity align more with the gender that they identify as. These studies have also shown brain activities that lie in between that of male and female brain activities and share characteristics with both brains. How do we know this? MRI scans.

Evidence?

This article also features many links to actual research papers and studies, the types that science teachers would deem as reliable sources.

Brain activity is regulated by the nerves and electrical signals. Nerves are regulated by the release of ions and stuff, and they also prompt the body to release chemicals when we're in pain and send signals between the PNS and CNS, which I won't get into. Basically, nerves are dependent on chemicals, like neurotansmitters, that our bodies produce. Our cells make these chemicals based on our genes, which are located on the DNA of our nucleus. This is where I get into the CENTRAL DOGMA of molecular genetics. DNA forms RNA, RNA goes to the ribosomes, which are then used to gather the proteins to make chemicals, such as hormones and neurotransmitters.

Everyone's DNA is different. You'd think that should be enough to get some people to understand that trans people are valid and that they do exist. But nope. So allow me to explain.

People's genes are different. And of course, our DNA makes us who we are. Of course, some people are more efficient at producing certain enzymes and proteins than others. Take lactose-intolerant people, for example. They lack the gene that makes lactase to break down lactose. Could be because they don't have the gene altogether or the operator of the gene that allows for the transcription of said gene is malfunctioning, but that's not important. So of course, some people produce chemicals differently.

TL;DR: genes regulate how our brain activity does its thing and also the chemicals we release.

That being said, yeah. You can't change your chromosomes. You can't change your genes. I agree with him completely, it's just that what he fails to take into account is the fact that brain activity and how our body releases chemicals can't be changed either. Evidence? Telling someone that they're not the gender they identify as DOES NOT MAKE THEM LESS OF THE GENDER THAT THEY IDENTIFY. It doesn't suddenly make them not trans anymore. As much as some people may have internalized transphobia, it doesn't change their brain activity. In fact, it makes them feel like shit. I'm sure you as my followers understand the negative consequences of transphobia, which I won't get into because I want to focus on the biology aspect of this whole thing.

The guy then brought up the whole thing about "trans women ruining sports for cis girls". At first, I'll admit, I didn't know how to tackle this. So I went to look up some articles to help me prove my point. Scientific ones, to be specific. If he wants science, I'm gonna talk science with him.

I want to highlight this specific part of the article in particular.

The guy had the audacity to tell me to do some more research. First I decided to look up the levels of testosterone in both male and female children. And here's what I found.

As I had suspected, children's testosterone levels are closer to each other between the two sexes. Of course, in AMAB children, puberty kicks in and peaks their testosterone levels, hence why the dimorphism between the two testosterone levels. Puberty blockers serve to inhibit the production of sex-specific hormones (and stop puberty as a whole), and as such, trans girls who were on puberty blockers will have less testosterone than those who aren't. So that is indeed true.

As for polycystic ovarian syndrome, I found this article. It proves its existence and yes, there are cis girls who do indeed produce more testosterone than the average cis girl. It's all in the genes, baby.

So, as he asked, I did some more research. And this is what came up. Also, in grade 11 biology, we've literally talked about genetic conditions like this and made presentations about them. So a condition that causes a hormonal imbalance and excess testosterone production in cis women is totally believable to me.

Also, science aside, history literally has several trans people (LGBTQ people as a whole actually) before colonization fucked us all over. But I'm a science nerd, not a history nerd, so I will not talk about it all that much.

And on the topic of not being able to change your genes... Uh... There's literally biotechnologies that allow for genome modification. CRISPR is an example of that. The ethics of biotechnologies that modify genetics are a little sketchy, but then again, so are most things in science. So that point is debunked. Do not underestimate the power of science.

I would also like to mention that science is constantly changing and we're constantly expanding our worldview on stuff like this. I mean, back then, we used to think that the electron was a particle. That theory had its flaws, so then quantum mechanics were developed and that better explained why atoms behaved the way they do. So... Yeah.

And besides, putting science aside, I think that people should be respectful and not be dicks to others. There's a lot of anti-transgender laws going on right now and that all stems from bigotry. Y'all should be more respectful, cause the way some of you act towards trans people is repulsive. Ideally, I shouldn't have to tell you to stop being dicks using science. If little Timmy decides to make little Susie upset, she shouldn't have to explain that it made her brain hormones produce the sad hormone or some shit like that. That's stuff we learned in kindergarten. :/

Anyways, that is the end of my long science rant. Considering I have science on my side literally supporting my points and he still held strong to his beliefs, he either didn't read the articles, didn't understand my points, or he did do all that and blatantly ignored it because he wanted to further his own points. Which is it, I will never know.

So... What did I learn from this experience with dealing with some dude on Twitter? I learned that I could indeed answer that long question on my bio exam that talked about enzymes and that I learned that somehow, young girls have higher testosterone levels than young boys? What? Literally how? Huh????

[sun-lit-roses]

The Broca Divide

I’m prepared for anything in this episode: more Goa’uld? A new planet (PLEASE)? Weird 90s feminism? Bring it on! Season 1, Episode 5, here we go!

Ooo we’re referencing back to the pilot. I like that there’s a throughline to at least some of the plots.

‘I pride myself on my deductive reasoning skills.’ Sam looks like she doesn’t know whether to laugh or hit him. The General would definitely like to do the latter 😂

Why’s that guy giving Teal’c the ol’ side eye?

Oh, she’s leaning closer to hitting now.

Although, yeah, I would never get a single planet right if I had to remember a - what? six? digit code for each of them.

Why do I get the feeling SG-3 aren’t the friendliest bunch? Although maybe it’s just a little Air Force-Marines rivalry going on.

‘We’ll watch your back sides.’ ‘It’s my front side I’m worried about.’ Daniel’s been around Jack too much.

Did that guy just shove Sam out of the way?!

Oh good, I wanted to spend the evening squinting at my tv. I’m willing to believe it’s night, turn up the lights.

We’ve got squint vision or green night vision. I do not like these choices.

AH

Are those cavemen?

This is the second time we’ve seen cavemen in this show already. Is that going to become a theme?

Okay, guess we’re still going to explore this world despite the World’s Most Violent Welcome Wagon.

Daniel, that is not what survival of the fittest means at all, your 90s is showing. Now stop trying to prevent Sam from kicking ass. I would like to watch that.

Now there’s ghosts? Well, at least they’re trying to save that woman.

‘The Untouched’ I’m guessing whatever separates these people from the cavemen?

Hey, daylight!

And a whole city. Minoan, it seems. What are they going to do when they run out of Earth cultures?

A disease, maybe, that spreads among them. A bit like rabies, if they go mad.

No Goa’uld today!

Aw, the Nerd Duo is sad.

I’m not sure what harm it would do to spend an hour or so there - shouldn’t they be starting diplomatic relations or something? Are they just planning to spend fifteen minutes per planet and then never go back to any of them? Seems like a waste of resources.

I guess they didn’t run into the Touched on the way back? They had to go back to the Land of Dark to get to the gate, right? Maybe they were still scared away.

YAY! The nerds win! Also, yeah, it probably shouldn’t have taken the President to figure out that it might be nice to get a little more scientific bang for the military buck out of these missions.

Okay, Side-Eye Guy has moved on from side-eyeing to fist throwing. Have you seen Teal’c, sir? Why does this strike you as a good plan?

Teal’c’s not even phased. ‘I would prefer not to hurt this man.’ King of Cool.

Drooling - maybe this is related to rabies? He’s clearly been infected by the Touched somehow.

‘Maybe he was drunk.’ No one else made the Touched connection? Or maybe you just came back from Planet Rage People?

Well, that was dramatic.

Uh oh, Sam’s scratching her neck - she’s infected, too! Probably?

Uh. Okay. Well, that’s not a *violent* reaction exactly. Why is she kissing Jack all of a sudden? And where’d her shirt go? And how did no one notice her in the locker room?

‘I want you.’ ‘Why?’ Poor man, he’s very confused in this moment 😂

‘Not like this.’ Hm, that’s interesting. I mean, he’s been loutish a couple times (’I like women’ and ‘It’s working for me’ - yeah, Jack I’m not forgetting over here.) But mostly he seemed to see her as an annoying scientist.

At least Jack’s head is still clear - to Medical!

A new doctor! Let’s hope she has a better track record than the last ones.

Question. If everyone from the team that went to Planet Rage is coming down with this violent disease, why are the other team members allowed to wander around freely? Shouldn’t they be in observation or quarantine? At least until they figure out how it’s spreading?

How does Daniel not know what’s going on?

Ooo I think Jack might be tipping over to the Dark Side here.

Yep, another one down.

And NOW we have the whole team getting their blood tested. I guess it’s early days and they don’t have a protocol in place for Weird New Planet Disease, but this seems like it should have occurred to someone a little sooner?

Daniel and Teal’c team up, woot!

Oh good, it seems less dark this time!

Aw, that poor girl was infected.

And now Daniel’s been kidnapped by cavemen. They just aren’t having any luck this episode.

Oh no, not the General!

Hey, they have a clue now - heavy sedation. Not ideal, but more than they had! And Jack volunteered to be a test subject 🥺

Well, there go the diplomatic options. Teal’c is perhaps a shade too blunt for this task. But just the right person to knock out a guard and get a blood sample!

Sam got stabbed?! That’s going to be unpleasant when she’s back to normal.

I hope this doctor survives, she’s very cute when she’s excited about Science!

It worked!!

‘I cannot be certain you are recovered, you referred to me as Lucy.’ 😂

Everyone’s back to normal. Wait, why is Sam going, wasn’t she stabbed?

They’re going to cure everybody! Huzzah! I think the Doc mentioned there was something in their diet that promoted antihistamines. Guess eating your veggies just became imperative on this planet.

I am 100% positive that Jack remembers what happened and is just pretending not to because Sam was going to awkward her way through that whole conversation. Braver woman than me - I would have pretended not to remember any of it.

Sam did get stabbed!

Oh, so he did remember and was just waiting to roast her. Rescinding those tact points there.

Although it seemed to make her laugh, so I’ll leave that at a draw in the ‘is he just a massive jerk’ tally.

Rating: 🔘🔘🔘

3/5 Gates I know I said I was prepared for anything, but Rage People Disease was not exactly what I expected. Still, we got a new planet (woohoo!), a quirky disease, giant bulls, a win for the scientists, and Teal’c being an utter delight. Gates deducted for Sam inexplicably molesting her CO unlike everyone else’s reactions.

Also, is everyone taking turns being kidnapped? It was all of them in the pilot, Sam in episodes 3 and 4, and now Daniel. At this rate they should microchip SG-1.

[mariamariquinha]

Bossa Nova (Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f!reader) - One

Prologue | Two

SUMMARY: The ‘Hitchcock method’ was Nick O'Brien's way of saying you could handle the job. 

WORD COUNT: 2.293.

WARNINGS: Crime scene, death, mature themes, angst, sexism, talks about cop work, talks about divorce, people being trashy and sadness. It’ll get better with time, but for now it’s complicated.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Benny is kind of in the background for now, but everything will work itself out. Consider this a slow burn. This first chapter is very introductory so you can understand the dynamics of the characters. 

It’s always good and safe to remind that this history is FICTION, not related to real life people at all or with any US police force. There will be canon references, but just that - if you didn’t watch the movie, it’s okay. 

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

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Summary: WPS* - Witness Protection Service

****

Alfred Hitchcock had the idea to write The Birds when he saw a news report: in 61, birds made a mass attack on Capitola. There was a scientific explanation for that, of course, something like a contamination occurred by neurotoxins from fish that drove the birds crazy. It’s not that interesting when that second part came – movies could do things way better, tho.

Dr. Martin was one of your favorite professors from college. As a huge fan of Hitchcock and Hollywood (and probably obsessed with Marilyn Monroe), he always made cinematic analogies to be practical in his classroom approaches. In the case of the old Alfred, Dr. Martin used the maxim that 'the birds punished the humans because the humans thought they were the center of the fucking universe'.

“In a crime scene, we have to think of it as a misrepresentation of what we consider correct or humanly moral. People do bad things, and the first impression we have of them when they do these things should be that these fatalities just happened. Then we move on to explanations.”

You always wanted to be a field agent, but only because it was the most plausible path between being an obsessed nerd and a police officer: you had the theory plus the practice of being able to use a gun. Putting Dr. Martin's and any other professor's theories into practice seemed extraordinary.

But then you ended up giving up. You lacked willpower. You were left with temporary licenses granted by your boss to collect evidence at crime scenes, which bordered on the illegality of bureaucratic processes so much that she ended up suggesting that you try again, just one more time, just in case.

If you had known that this would land you in a ton of situations that you would have to deal with with Nick O'Brien, you really would have said no and put any spark of expectation in being a field agent in the trash.

He was old school, obviously. Everything was seen and reviewed before gaining some kind of approval from him, which by chance seemed to continue to make sense to the guy even after you had told him to eat shit right at the beginning of this… endeavor. You hated needing the job enough to keep doing this.

When you got to the crime scene, equipment in hand and still feeling the brunt of one of California's hottest summers, you knew that it was one of those Hitchcock occasions. You never really got used to the idea of being surrounded by death and blood and whatever, so you took your time to get out of the car.

The liquor store was close to the beach, which had to be one of the worst places to commit a crime considering the tourists and the location. Still, it looked well done. The fact that the body was exposed in the hot concrete already made it clear that whoever did this wanted to send a message. Gang work. And if there was gang work…

“You look tired,” Nick was the first one to talk to you like always. He had an arm resting on the door of your car, almost purring like a devilish cat and very, very fake.

You didn't answer the tease. With the sunglasses still on your face, you opened the door abruptly and made him go back before he could be hit. The kit was already in hand, because you were in a hurry – always in a hurry to be away from him.

You looked around cautiously; apart from the people who hadn't yet dispersed, the ambulances were still checking the status of witnesses and you could see Gina working the scene around the victim. You sighed at the sight of DEA vests. Fuck.

“I don't wanna ask.”

“If you don't want the answer, it's best not to ask.”

“Mm,” You swiped your eyes over the scene one more time, spotting the guy on the other side of the containment band. “When did he get here?”

“About ten minutes,” He shrugged a little, certainly following your gaze with a defeated sigh. “It's the kind of thing that makes us think about retiring.”

“Yeah, it doesn't inspire me to renew my CSI license either.”

Of all the people you managed to maintain the least bit of good-neighbor with at the agency, Mathias Walsh was on the list of human beings with a unique ability to be insufferable, disrespectful, and with terrible taste in haircuts or tailored pants. You almost got suspended for a fight in a past collaborative case; he almost spent the rest of his career at a desk for the same reason. It was easier to hate him than anyone else at that point in the game.

That could explain the phone call and the urgency. It wasn't like the egos fight between the Major Crimes and the DEA was new – Nick needed the evidence and a scapegoat. Or maybe he was more restricted to the sheriff's command to act like the man he was so sure he was.

“Oh, finally!” Connors made an appearance by your side, Borracho and Tony at his tale. “What took you so long?”

“Was signing my divorce papers.”

“Was it today?” Nick asked.

“Yep. I got the house. Win-win,” You took off your sunglasses and placed it in the pocket of your own vest. “So? Information… Victim identification, time of attack…?”

“Desiree York. 37, single. Stripper,” Borracho answered.

“Sounds like someone you would know,” You eyed O’Brien.

“We kind of did,” He crossed his arms over his chest, not an ounce of shame in his statement. “She was one of DEA's potential informants.”

“Where is the WPS* when we need it most, huh.”

You gave O’Brien an annoyed side glance before turning to the other guys.

“I’ll go over the footage material and take some pics. Will you stay here or…?”

Because you didn’t want to ask for someone to do so. You didn’t, because it meant that you couldn’t stand up for yourself and, being really honest, your ego was way too hurted for you to go over your pride. You indulged, instead, letting the ball in their hands.

“You and Gina are big, you know your way around,” Nick patted your back with the force of a brute. “You can handle it, can’t you?”

“Yeah. No, yeah, of course. No problem.”

“I think it would be better if one of us stayed,” Benny intervened with a calm, unfazed tone. “Dude will be on her ass, you know how he is.”

“Then you stay,” Tony snorted, elbowing him with a grin on his face.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” You and Nick asked in unison.

“If it’s okay for you too.”

“Erm… Yeah, yeah. It is, no problem.”

“Don’t worry, ma. I got your back.”

And, look, honestly, out of all the people Nick worked with in that department, Benny was the most aloof of them all, to the point where you could tell you enjoyed his company. He didn't bring up any subject any more than was necessary – he knew when to shut up. Maybe he was better than you in that regard, honestly, and sometimes he looked at you strangely when he went to the lab and you were talking to yourself, but Benny was… peaceful. Without Nick's rigid presence, Tony's petulance, Connors' advance or Henderson's blatant indifference.

Probably very successful with ladies too. Not every guy could contain the necessity to jump in every chance to run their mouths over anything.

“Security cameras and forensic photos,” You pointed a finger at Nick, passing by them.

“I'm under your orders.”

“If you were, you wouldn’t be wearing that aftershave.”

“You’re the best we have!” He exaggerated behind your back.

“I know.”

Mathias took a big part in the way things escalated that day, mainly because he didn't say anything when he saw you talking to Gina or just cataloging the scene, as it should be. Maybe it was Benny's presence at your side, occasionally glancing in the man's direction to make sure there was no problem, or Nick really had some big advantage there since Desiree was DEA’s responsibility.

Like the coward he was, he waited. As stupid as he was, in fact, he thought it would be a good opportunity to kick a dead dog when he approached you at the end of work, when you already had material to take back to the precinct. Benny distanced himself for a moment too long and Walsh came up as if your testosterone dome had opened a gap for him.

“I didn't think you would come today,” You sensed him sliding beside you, his body way too close while you adjusted your things in the back seat, door open.

“My my, so sad to disappoint.”

“Tell me, did you sign the divorce before coming here or did you do it on the way here?” He was gesturing in your peripheral, and you could really put those fingers of his in a place who wouldn’t be able to reach out ever again.

You closed the door harshly before turning to his sarcastic face.

“Do you want to know if I made my ex get down on all fours and beg for another chance like you did with your ex?”

“On the contrary. With an affinity for someone like Nick, I don't doubt your kneeling skills are better than mine.”

“Pretty smart words coming from the sheriff's official blowjob guy. Do you deep throat or is your gag reflex still refined?”

He didn't answer. Judging by the number of people still there, it was already clear that some were listening to the interaction, so you let out another sigh (for what felt like the hundredth time) and turned your back to leave.

“Working with you makes me understand why your husband left you.”

The people on the team who stayed behind heard that as much as you did, because suddenly they were watching the scene expectantly. You closed your eyes, then your fists, and calmly turned to look at him almost over your shoulder. A punch would come in handy. A punch and a little lack of love for the job would so much come in handy.

“He must have another, doesn't he? What was her name? Thinking about it, he must have chosen one less unbearable. Bigger boobs, probably? Better performance in bed?”

When a woman spoke of sexist situations in the workplace, especially in the police, there was a myth that things were more veiled. Well, it wasn’t entirely a lie, but times were different, things took a few progressive forms, so no one just offended you for being a woman like they used to. Your problem with Mathias came from that context, but it wasn't the whole picture of the situation. It was personal. He was uncomfortable because he had a fucking daddy issues complex and needed to replace the anger he received somewhere else.

If it happens to be a woman and, more importantly, you? That was his deal.

He opened his mouth right there, then, with cliché words and dirty comments, because he wanted to get a reaction out of you. Because you were visibly tired and failing to stay resilient – because your divorce became the subject of gossip and people were talking about it.

“I think you should go,” Benny appeared in an instant, getting in the way between you two and staring at Walsh. There was a negative sense of anger coming out of you, mostly because nothing was going to happen, mostly because you were at your limit.

“Oh, I see. You all take rounds with her.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You averted Benny’s body and took one step, then another, your nails biting the skin of your palms.

Before you could go any further, Borracho’s hand flew to hold your arm, and that grounded you a little. You could hear the whispers from other people, the same ones you had nightmares with and Mathias was having the best day of his life.

Benny’s fingers flexed on your forearm, enough to make you take a step back. Walsh scoffed at that, a complete opposite of how you felt (but tried not to show) at that moment – you hated every second of that sensation.

“No biting, kitten. They don't like inexperienced girls,” With a final blow, Mathias walked away, and soon enough everybody dispersed from the show.

You wanted to cry, die, tear up, whatever came first. It hadn't even been 3 hours since you had officially gotten divorced and everything had already started to go to hell. Instead of doing any of those things, however, you swallowed your humiliation with a swallow and a heavy sigh. You broke away from Benny's touch, hearing Gina say something like 'bloody bastard' before telling everyone to go find something better to do.

You could feel Borracho staring at you and you exchanged glances before you assured Gina that you were fine, that you just wanted to go to work and let it go.

“Are you okay?”

Yes, you wanted to say, but you didn't. It makes no difference, you could argue. But Borracho had his merits and he could be very observant, so you knew you couldn't let it go by the simple, uncertain way he looked at you.

“Mm-hm,” You hummed, sunglasses now back in your face.

He didn't ask any more questions.

Whether it was the demeaning comment Mathias made or the way Benny gave you the first sympathetic look since that fucking shit had started in your life, you couldn't tell; the hidden tears you shed in the ladies room later were very genuine anyway.

****

No pressure tags:

@sexuallover

@paintlavillered​

[wingsofimagery]

ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

✦ Summary: He never understood why you were so adamant on being by his side. He does not talk to people often, not until he met you. You changed his life and he's happy with the change but the thought never left him as to why you chose him of all people. ✦ Pairing: Seungmin x GN!Reader ✦ Genre: Fluff ✦ Warnings: N/A ✦ Word Count: 1275 ✦ A/N: I keep not doing the fics I'm supposed to do but... this is for ficscafe trope event using the prompt: shy nerd x excitable puppy~ Hope you guys enjoy!

“Seungmin!” you shouted the boy’s name in glee, tackling him down with a hug.

Said boy could not find his balance quick enough; he fell down in a swoop motion and, in toll, took you down with him. Readjusting his glasses, he sighed while he pulled his arm out of your grasp, his textbook in hand. He was thankful the both of you were uninjured and you were not carrying anything on you.

He called your name, “you’re not a kid anymore. Tackling me into a hug will not do us good…”

He sighed at the sight of your pout, looking away to not fall for your cute face. A blush surfaced his cheeks as he continuously avoided your eyes.

“Seungmin~ Can you help me with my homework? I’m doing my best to understand it but I can’t and need your help!”

Your plea and smile made him weak. He could not say no to you but he also has his own things to do. The frown on his face soon exchanged for another opened mouth sigh. Pushing his way back to sitting up, your body now sat on his lap, he nodded his head in resignation. You cheered out of victory and pulled him into a tight hug with your arms wrapped around his neck.

“Seungminnie, you’re the best. You know that?”

He fixed his glasses again and grumbled, “yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”

Seungmin pulled you along with him to the library. You two settled at a small table in a secluded area. In the midst of studying, whatever you guys were going over was no longer on his mind. You were fully occupying his thoughts. He did not get why you constantly looked for him for help. He was always secluded to himself and preferred to stick his nose to his books. You were the exact opposite of him. He wished he was more like you, able to talk to people without feeling bad about yourself when you made mistakes, help people in an instant without hesitating, and, in general, be a people person. Yet you stuck to him like glue.

He could understand a lot of things, scientific theories, mathematical equations, even literary topics were his strength. The only thing he did not understand was you. You were a complete mystery to him. And it is not that he does not like it but he was confused on so many levels.

The two of you were polar opposites. His past self would have laughed at the thought of being someone akin to your friend. Yet here he was, spending days together with you. The two of you had library dates, cafe dates, even hung out at the student center by the food court while you ate and made conversations, casually asking advice for classes.

Your friends greeted him whenever you were with him but they would always talk to you only before taking their leave. Aside from hellos, they were not interested in interacting with him. Although Seungmin tried to speak up multiple times, he could not find the courage to actually hold up conversations with them. You were the one to always include him in your conversations with your friends. He was thankful for the effort. It was thanks to your inclusion were he able to show just how brilliant of a man he was and show his intelligence to the world. Your friends became familiar with him in due time and learned to ask him for help. Of course they always came prepared with offerings in exchange.

That did not go to say that Seungmin did not have friends of his own. The little friends that Seungmin had also became your friends very quickly. You were quick to befriend his friends, unlike him. Wherever he went with his friends, you were usually there to have fun as well. It was times like this where he found himself truly at bliss. You were the sun that created a rainbow after the rain where the air was refreshing. Whenever he was with you, all his worries washed away; it was as if everything was going to be okay when you’re by his side.

“Hey, Seungmin!” you called out to him with a wave of hand. He was spaced out while recounting your time from when you first started talking to now. The smile on his face was stupid yet filled to the brim with fondness. He slid his hand underneath your palm, raised it to his lips, and pressed them against the back of your hand with love.

“Yes, darling?”

“What were you thinking about? I need help with this analysis,” you said with a laugh that brought butterflies to his stomach. Enjoying the sound of your laughter, he wished you would laugh forever. It was not humanly possible but if it was and it did not hurt you, he could listen to it all day.

“Why did you choose me,” he had asked, straight to the point as it was. A chuckle bubbled from your chest before you burst out laughing. Tears gathered at the corner of your eyes. Your hand rose up to glide a finger over the tear to wipe it off.

You kept giggling as you apologized. You could not help it. His question sounded so out of the ordinary. He was a smart person so you had thought that would be the last thing he would ask you. It seemed you gave him too much credit. He was just like any other person, insecurity had lied somewhere deep in his heart.

Your eyes were filled with fondness for him as your hands brushed against his cheeks. They caressed him with warmth, causing him to lean into your touch with a blissful smile and closed eyes. He was completely vulnerable to your touch.

“You’re silly; despite being so smart, you still can’t see the reason why?”

He stared at you blankly, then tilted his head. He was more confused now.

“It’s ‘cause I like you. Liking someone doesn’t always warrant a proper reason. You just make me happy and you’re always there when I need you. Even when my requests are… improper, you’re there to help me.”

He pursed his lips, pondering on how to reply to that. His heart felt full from your love-filled words. The grin on his lips says it all.

“Anyway, what do you say to a date at the aquarium next? I want to see cute sea animals.”

He squinted his eyes at you suspiciously, “weren’t you just asking for my help just a bit ago?” “Just answer me! I won’t be able to study or process anything else until the date is all planned.”

He heaved a sigh, albeit playfully. He was not tired of you. In fact, he was already looking forward to this date. The two of you began to make plans but the more you discussed, the more you two realized how busy and unaligned both your schedules were.

“How about you just come over to my house? Today. Forget studying. We have time.”

And time you both had. He was in the same class as you for this course so he had everything down pact.

“Deal!” you declared with a loud, boisterous voice, “Let’s go! Chop chop! Puppy is waiting for us. Oh! Can we drop by the pet store? I want to get him some treats.”

Seungmin hummed in agreement. He was packing both your items. You went over to his side of the table. You turned his head toward you and leaned in to steal his breath away with a kiss.

“I just really love you.”

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, Episode 138

I think it is easy to forget that literally every episode that aired in the year of Our Common Era, 2021, has taken place over the span of *Spurt voice* eleven days. Well. It has. And, indeed, the last seven episodes have covered roughly two days.

The reason this is only about wizard NPCs is because they serve as a sort of audience surrogate in that they are nerds who don't go outside, vs. D&D PCs who see more shit in two to eleven days than most people would see in a lifetime; case in point, Essek's current state of shock. This is also making it very hard to check in with the other wizards. But also this is not about accuracy, even though I am usually right about everything. This is about...honestly I'm not sure, other than wizards.

What I'm trying to say is:

Caleb Widogast is a PC, not an NPC, and is not included in these strange statistics*.

Currently sidelined: Pumat Sol, Oremid Hass, Ludinus Da'leth, Astrid Beck, E_dwulf Grieve

Obligatory self-indulgent Vess Derogna song parody: Tomb....takers, killed you in your room, they’ll end the world soon but hey/you cult wizard, lost in a blizzard, whatever you’ve done, well, murdered, you’ll stay

Trent Ikithon: I am 100% serious that while I have made Narrative Sense In Actual Play Media in the rock on which I will cast my Temple of the Gods, if the final boss is Trent riding on Uk'otoa...I won't be mad. Like does it seem tonally off? Yes; Critical Role is not humorless high fantasy by any means** but they are not actively trying to seem like something that should be airbrushed on a van, usually. But will it be pretty awesome? Yeah.

Trent on the other hand is pretty fucking mad, presumably, because Caleb continues to leave him on read and also picked up a little something called Mind Blank, which is actually useful and not in fact No Thoughts Head Empty. With that said I don't think it's increased; I think we're just at a steady simmer.

Conclusion: 7/10.

Essek Thelyss: Okay I am a dabbler in both cosmic horror and mathematics; I enjoy many elements of both but am an expert in neither. But if I may drop the jokes for a second, how incredible is it that in this alien setting of a city that is an unwitting and unwilling amalgam of consciousnesses, with all the trappings of classic cosmic horror, two people decided to take a scientific risk with things seen as forbidden or foreign by their respective cultures...and won.

I don't know what will befall Essek and he's clearly still having a pretty rough time of it, even though unlike Caduceus I don't think he was brought to the brink of profanity again, yet; but no matter what happens at least he'll have the nat 20 of instant long rest. No matter what happens...he was right about dunamancy. Fucking ironic how much potential the dynasty is wasting, really.

With that said he does have a red eye now even though all he (and, to be fair, Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus as well) did was fight off an eldritch abomination without rolling what must have been like a 20 Wisdom save DC. Like, he (and Fjord, Veth, and Caduceus) do not deserve this. You think this man has a positive wisdom score? In this economy? (actually, he might, I say, looking at Caleb 'Wisdom Ostensibly 16' Widogast).

Conclusion: keeping him at 8/10. It's funny because he is fully on an emotional roller coaster but it's averaging out to about an 8/10 each time; it's just that he's constantly beset by horrors beyond imagination and really terrible rolls but also incredible validation of his beliefs that had so long been ignored. The man's mental state is basically a sine wave, which interestingly enough is itself influencing his mental state.***

Yussa Errenis: The Prodigal Most Interesting Man in Exandria returneth! Wensforth, play Freedom! 836 PD. You know, he should probably feel a little bit of shame, because he should know better, but also he probably does not. Anyway please enjoy the lines I had for Yussa while he was trapped in Cognouza that I did not ultimately use:

aha no don’t get your consciousness sucked into an ancient city you’re so sexy

Here am I floating in an ancient and terrible world-devouring city/far out in the planes/Threshold crests are blue and there’s nothing I can do

Making bad choices and joining the voices it’s...YUSSA ERRENIS

Conclusion: I'm going to say 6/10 but rapidly decreasing. Also Wensforth has had several days to clean the tower...maybe he just won't tell Yussa? He probably will though.

Allura Vyesoren: she's going to facepalm so long that Kima starts timing it, isn't she. She's going to get a series of messages like "hey so the Mighty Nein seem to be doing well! they freed me from the city which sucked me in like some spicy ramen when I did an astral projection...also something happened in my tower?" She's going to just stare out the window for a long moment. She is going to ask herself, much as I have many a time, what the fuck is in the water in Wildemount.

Conclusion: 3/10. Hey, at least she got some news on the Mighty Nein and the city!

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: consider: after over 35 years, give or take, in your own perception of time, trapped in a gem, you finally come across some people. Consider that one of them apparently can't resist a big shiny wizard trap. Now consider that this guy went into your +1 Demiplane of Wizard Murdering AND got his mind fully schlorped by Aeorians and yet you are still, inconceivably, stuck in this fucking gem. This is where he draws the line? At a teensy little bodily possession? What the fuck dude.

Conclusion: I'm pretty sure he's already a few large handfuls of iron filings short of a component pouch (which is to say, full up on the batshit) already but this cannot be helping.

*this will be the first but probably not the last cosmic horror and/or math joke because I actually forgot to make cat jokes last night, so thoroughly did the Nein demolish Cree. Speaking of Cree's fate...call that a Furrier Transform.

**high fantasy is a complicated distinction and the wikipedia page includes Discworld which does not seem right to me; it also includes the Belgariad, a series for which I have great fondness having inhaled the first three books while sick in bed as a fourteen year old and having reread several times, but which is explicitly written by a guy who was like what if I made something as formulaic as possible but also literally everyone is either super sarcastic or a huge moron but anyway imo High Fantasy is actually frequently fucking hilarious and a sign of the skill of the creator(s) is whether it's hilarious by accident or on purpose.

***something something Heisenberg uncertainty principle. I had a joke here but it got very convoluted and that is actually not a pun although if you understand why it could be a pun, good work.

[selkiesbittybonanza]

500 Followers Appreciation Bitty Profiles! (+ Bonus bitty!) (ALL FREE TO ADOPT)

Fellswap Gold Lamia Bittys

Merlot

Snake: Taipan

Venomous?: Yes

Size (Bitty): Length - 0.5-1m (1.6-3.3 ft.), Standing - 0.25-0.5m (0.8-1.6 ft)

Size (Full Sized): Length - 1.5-2m (5-6 ft), Standing 1-1.25m (3-5 ft)

Merlots are very calm and soothing bittys, they always seem to have it together. It can be easy to let them take control of things – you always feel like they have your best interests at heart. Merlots are very distinguished, they don’t appreciate looking disheveled, it gives them an almost “old man” quality. A Merlot’s nest is impeccably clean – you may even find a doily or two! And they somehow have a bowl of no-name candy to offer guests like a strange satire on how seniors live everywhere. However he had an eye for quality and doesn’t accept poor quality furnishings. While a Merlot doesn’t mind taking charge, he appreciates an adopter who takes initiative. A Merlot isn’t above using intimidation to get his way, but he’s so smooth about it you have a hard time noticing! He prides himself in being unflappable, to demand respect without screaming for it. He certainly has a devious side – he didn’t get this far without knowing how to “play the game” and isn’t above a few white lies for the sake of it. He can be quite paternal as well, he enjoys taking younger bittys under his “wing” and helping raising them. While he can seem rather stiff he’s actually a warm-hearted bitty who enjoys cuddles and being needed.

Espresso

Snake: Black-tailed Criibo

Venomous?: No

Size (Bitty): Length - 0.75-1m (2.4-3.3 ft), Standing - 0.25-0.5m (0.8-1.6 ft)

Size (Full Sized): Length - 2-2.5m (7-8.5 ft), Standing - 1-1.5m (3-5 ft)

Despite the name: Espressos aren’t very active bittys. They mostly prefer the quiet – gaming and drawing are their favourite hobbies. They tend to be shy and soft spoken – loud people can startle them into muteness and a lot of the time they prefer to communicate in non-verbal ways. If you want a gaming companion an Espresso is your perfect bitty match: but be warned – gaming is a fixation for them. If you ask them to not continue a game until you can play it together later it’s almost unfair to them, they’ll become obsessed with what’s next. Games with both single player and co-op content is more ideal – he can work on the single player campaign while he waits for you to come back to the co-op campaign. His shyness makes multi-player gaming a bit hit or miss – he doesn’t like gaming where a lot of communication and strategy is necessary – he prefers staying quiet and working towards objective without any instruction given or taken. His exception is co-op, he loves playing games together with you and feels his most accomplished when you both complete a challenging level together. He isn’t super competitive but takes pride in his skills so be careful setting up play-dates with bittys that may not appreciate losing to a quiet, seemingly submissive bitty. Despite his quiet and gentle nature he isn’t one to allow people to take advantage of him  or disrespect him – he will stand up for himself, usually by exiting the situation instead of getting into an argument, and when pushed, he WILL fight back. He is surprisingly skilled and controls his magic well.

G!Siblings Ampitheres 

So I decided to give my ampitheres the same human-like intelligence of all my other lamia bittys, but restrict them to a one-size bitty like my Harpys. Honestly a full size ampithere’s wingspan would make them pretty tough to house indoors… 

Suave

Snake: Bolen’s Python

Venomous?: No

Size: 1-1.5m long (3-5ft), 0.5m (2ft) standing

Suaves pride themselves on being, well, suave and flirtatious – it helps them stay in control of the conversation and relationship so you don’t discover how much of a dork they really are. Suaves inherited Gaster’s love or building important monuments – like the Core. He’s interested in work that will stand the test of time, with the added benefit of being practical. He’s not interested in building, say: the Pyramids for vainglory. But, if that Pyramid was covered in solar panels that provided electricity for the nearby citizens – that’s up his alley. He also has an interest in motorized vehicles like cars, trucks and motorcycles – but he admits he’d have a difficult time using one without a lot of modifications. Which could be fun. Suaves love flashy experiments and inventions that leave an impact on his audience: however, when he’s working on his next big thing he ends up working at all hours of the night in his pajamas. His inspirations are flashes of brilliance and a flurry of work, after which, he collapses into a deep sleep for up to 36 hours. Despite appearances Suaves are huge nerds who love to share their work with interested listeners and isn’t above goofy shenanigans. They share a Sans’ sense of humour and laid back attitude – but it’s a mask to cover the whirling chaos of the mind within. Suaves can be surprisingly immature and will get a kick out of pranks and childish humour. A Suave can summon up to four disembodied “hands” to help him work on projects that require dexterity but doesn’t often use constructs in offensive magic. He’s more of a behind-the-scenes guy – but he can certainly manage bone attacks.

Savvy

Snake: Amazon Tree Boa

Venomous?: No

Size: 1.25-1.75m long (4-6ft), 0.75m (2.5ft) standing

While Suaves are the rock star scientists, the Savvys end up being in the babysitter role more times than they’d like. Savvys inherited Gaster’s interest in the soul and physical health of monsters and humans; since Savvys are on the autistic spectrum it helps them understand others better because, although they have trouble empathizing with others, it does not mean they don’t CARE. I head-cannon that smoking is a Gaster-trait and a Savvy’s Papyrus half REFUSES to participate in such a disgusting habit! Therefore Savvy’s tend to have an oral fixation to make up for the lack of smoking: chewing on the end of pencils, pens, their own tails… and rely far too much on caffeine. A Savvy works hard, but on a schedule and his experiments are always tightly controlled as opposed to a Suave’s scientific method. Savvys are polite, distinguished and a bit absent minded when it comes to personal relationships. If you’re looking for a bitty that will faun over you – look elsewhere. While Savvy’s certainly care about their adopters and family they are independent and self sufficient. They can seem humourless but the right touch can send them into giggles, they are very passionate about their interests and appreciate an interested audience (or at least captive). Savvys enjoy being needed and do well in situations where they can work as doctor’s, biologists or psychologists. They’re not judgmental and they like to look at the world with endless curiosity and enthusiasm! Savvys can summon up to four disembodied “hands” to help him work on projects that require dexterity but prefers to use his magical energies in his studies and use of healing magic. His offensive magic abilities are rather stunted because of this.

Bonus Lamia Bitty - Blueberror

Blue Ribbon

Snake: Blue striped Ribbon Snake

Venomous?: No

Size (Bitty): 0.5-1m (1.6-3ft), 0.3m standing

Size (Full Sized):1-1.5m (3-5ft) 0.5m standing

Ribbons are afraid of being alone (autophobic), they know that being alone in the anti-void is what caused their transformations from Blueberries to Blueberrors. They thrive in large families and want to be seen as a friend and protector by the group. Do not adopt one of these guys if you spend a lot of time out of the home and can’t provide them attention. A bitty family is a good stop-gap but they really need validation and one-on-one time with their adopters. Ribbons retain most of their personality traits from their Blueberry days but they’re a little… off. A little, too intense. Ribbons can get caught up in an emotion or situation and can spiral out of control whether the emotion is: joy, anger, frustration, or fear. They need a patient friend who can help them “reset” their emotional clock. Of course, being an Error, it sometimes causes a hard crash that they need to restart from. Depending on the situation they can forget completely what had set them off and will continue along like nothing happened. Other times, they remember what happened but the restart gave them enough time to reprocess so they can move on and get past what set them off. They can get depressed easily especially is someone is afraid or intimidated by him – he knows he’s different now, but he’s still a good guy at heart! A Ribbons magic is star-based – they create star-shaped attacks and can even summon a star to ride around on like Kirby.

Creators

Blueberror created by @loverofpiggies​

Fellswap Gold AU created by @blackggggum​

G!Sans created by @bouru​

Art

Fellswap Gold Sans & Papyrus + Blueberror Lamias commissioned from @calmchapsart​

G!Siblings Ampitheres commissioned from @me-and-my-gaster​

all art commissioned by me: @sealpointselkie​ / @selkiesbittybonanza​

[fakeloveaskblog]

Yay Loceit! (Ignore me, I have Loceit brainrot.) Can we see the zoo date? I would love to see the zoo date! (Is there a possibility of encountering Remus and make it a conjoined date? But, like, we don't tell him that's what it is? Because we don't wanna overwhelm the guy.)

(Words: 2712)

Janus: "Don't worry dear fiend. I have Loceit brainrot as well.....ALSo yes!! I totally haven't been waiting to tell someone all about the date. Pff totally not...So basically..."

When Janus arrived by the entrance of the zoo Logan was already waiting outside. They excitedly waved at each other before running up and clashing in a loving hug.

"So how is my one and only still not poisoned boyfriend doing?" Janus asked with a slight giggle in his voice.

“Very well now when I am with you”

Logan leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His boyfriend already had a big grin on his lips but it only grew with the kiss.

He had on a blue suspenders, jeans and a t-shirt with some dude printed on it. The snake had tried to dress extra nice for his first ever date (!!) so he had his long black skirt and his finest purple shirt.

“That is...Jean-luc Picard..right?” He pointed at Logan’s t-shirt.

He flapped his hands around “Correct! I see that the star trek watching is teaching you a lot!”

“Well I do have a good teacher so of course”

The compliment left rosy blush on Logan’s cheeks. He took his boyfriend’s hand and intertwined their fingers before walking into the zoo. It had a big outside area for different larger animals and then a bulding to the west filled with frogs, fish, snakes, etc, etc.

Neither of them were that interested in the large animals. Though Janus did snark about how he looked like a seal and Logan stopped to take photos of the bears so he could show them to Patty later.

It wasn't until they passed a sign Logan suddenly let up into happy stims. He pointed to a house with big look through windows.

"Birds!"

He dragged Janus along with him to one of the windows. kestrels, subirds and kingfishers were flying around and vibing among trees and hung out fruit treats. A small crowd around them was also looking at the different birds.

Logan pointed between his boyfriend and the birds as if Jan hadn’t already seen them. He kept stimming his arm back and forth.

"Their aerodynamics are so fascinating don’t you think. Aside from humans they are the animal that are consistently closest to space and all because of their biology. They are like natural born astronauts”

“I respect any creature who can leave any and all social situations by flying away. Big dick move as some” Remus “says” Janus replied.

“If birds had too big dicks I think it would disturb their flying but yes I get your point” He let out a dreamy sigh “Oh what I would do to be able to inspect bird teeth, not to even talk about their wings!”

Logan squeezed his hand and smiled at him before dragging him over to the next bird. It was several big secretary birds. They were walking instead of flying.

"These ones are known for eating snakes" Lo commented "Are you feeling frightened?"

"Ah yes darling, I am already close to death from fear" He replied in as much of a monotone he could muster. They both chuckled.

Logan went on a long ramble about how the different biology of the species made the flying look and work different. His voice went a bit louder than it usually was, it always got like that when he was excited. Janus wouldn’t have minded it if there weren’t other people there.

He nodded along to his boyfriend’s rant but kept glancing to the people around them. Some of them were looking at Logan. Janus gulped. Suddenly holding his boyfriends hand hurt.

Janus quietly moved his hand away. His throat tightened. The people weren’t looking anymore but it felt like they did, like ants crawling up his skin. It had probably been a stupid idea to wear the skirt.

Obviously Logan noticed but he didnt say anyrhing about it. He finished his rant and asked "Do you want to reunite with your relatives- I mean look at the snakes now?"

"I uh “ He forced a confident smirk “Of course darling. It it prime time to return to my people!!”

They walked away from the birds and went down the sunny path towards the house that stored snakes among other things. It was lined by neatly cut trees and homes for mammals. They didn’t hold hands.

Janus kept fiddling with his gloves to the point of not even looking where he was walking. He bit the inside of his cheek until it was bleeding.

“Are you feeling alright?” Logan asked.

“Never been better!”

“If it is about the hand holding feeling nervous is nothing to be embarrassed about. When I first held hands with Patty I got so flustered I proceeded to walk into a swing and break my glasses”

Janus glanced around to the people around them “Ah yes that is definitely why I’m acting this way. Spot on dear” 

His boyfriend looked in the same direction he did “Oh alright I understand now” He patted him on the shoulder “Well I will have you know I have taken part in multiple physical fights to protect Patty from harassement, I did win most of them. I will of course do the same thing for you”

He said it so casually Janus nearly lost it “Exscuse me wHAT?”

Logan leaned down so they were eye to eye and put his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders “Sweetheart I can and will break someone’s nose for you”

“That’s the most romantic thing someone has ever said to me”

“I would go for their kneecaps as well”

Janus clasped his hand over his heart and gasped in an overly dramatic tone “Oh such erotiscism you’re showing today!”

“I am legally obliged to show it off every now and then”

He straightened his back and continued to walk down the path. Janus hesitantly reached out to take his hand. Shame tugged at his heart but he buried his face against his boyfriend’s arm to try and ignore it. Logan gently moved his thumb up and down his skin in response.

“....I do still advise that you talk to Picani about it. I am aware it’s hard but if what you’ve told me about your mental health is true I believe it would be beneficial. I could help! I know Picani! Very intimately!”

“Darling please you don’t have to keep reminding me you’ve fucked my fake therapist” Janus sighed “I don’t know if I deserve to take up his time, I’m not That bad”

“Sweetie that is first degree bullshit” Logan replied very gently “There is scientifically no way to accurately compare two people’s mental healths to conclude which is worse. Trust me I did a study on it in college! Do I need to brag about my degree more?”

Janus let out a half hearted chuckle “I’ll think about it. Let’s focus on the snakes for now”

“Thinking about it is good enough for me” He pressed a kiss to his forehead.

They entered the building. The first room was lit in a calming blue because of the giant windows showing off octopuses and rays swimming around. A sign was pointing over to the frog and snake rooms.

Janus looked around the room in awe and- HOLY HELL REMUS WAS THERE. He sat crosslegged on a bench in front of the octopuses. He had headphones on and was focusing on the sketchbook in his hands. 

In a panic Janus started to drag his boyfriend with him to the frogs. Logan saw how flustered his boyfriend had suddenly become and looked around. He saw Remus as well and stopped in his tracks which forced his boyfriend to also stop.

“Does that happen to be the other guy you have a romantic interest in?”

“We’re here to look at snakes not at men Loganson!”

"Aww" Logan flapped his free hand "There are few things i like more than getting to see my partner being loved by someone else they love! We must talk to him"

"Oh- Oh god-" Janus let out while being tugged along.

Remus flinched when Logan shoved his ready to be shaken hand almost into his face. His whole body tensed to an uncomfortable degree.

"Greetings! I have no idea who you are!" Lo exclaimed.

He took off his headphones and looked up at him with panic in his eyes "Uh yeah" He saw Jan and immediately let out a breathe of relief. His shoulders relaxed slightly. "Hiya snakey~ Is This dude your snack?"

Janus was dying. He was dead. This was hell.

"NO! He's my sworn enemy! I'm here to use one of the sharks to kill him!"

Logan gasped "You are? How rude. Such a waste of the shark’s time when a bullet would do"

"Yeah!” Remus added “Anus! If that even is your real name-”

“It’s not”

“-I thought you would be much better at murder! Shark murder is sooo the 70's. Where's the orchestrated acrobatic dance knife throwing???"

Janus let out a dramatic huff "You simply don’t understand how hard it is to be a strong independent complete idiot and a serial murderer at the same time"

Logan nodded in sumpathy "Stranger would you like to accompany us on the rest of our zoo experience?"

He closed his sketchbook. Pages had been filled with doodles of the octopuses "Sure! I'm Remus by the way"

"Ah yes" They began to walk down the hallways lined by animal habitats. He held onto Janus’ hand "You were killed by your twin according to Roman mythology"

"I know!! That's why I chose it"

"Fascinating. I'm Logan. My parents chose it because of the X-man" His parents were also huge nerds.

“Hah dorks!” Remus said while skipping alongside them “Why are you holding hands? Is that a rule at zoos? Oh shit have I been doing zoos wrong???”

“I don’t think so. We are only doing it” Lo glanced at his still flustered boyfriend “.....to aggravate homophobes....yes...”

“COol!! Can I join?”

Logan nodded. Remus proceeded to take Janus’ free hand and happily tugged at it while skipping along. Jan had been wrong. NOW he was dying. His face was so hot from blushing he swore he could melt chocolate on it. The only way this could get ‘worse’ was if he suddenly grew a third arm and Remy appeared to hold it.

“Murder frogs!!” Remus exclaimed while stopping outside a window.

Inside sat several poison dart frogs in a pond surronded by leaves. They were in pretty neon colors and small enough to fit in the palm of a hand. Remus jumped up and down from excitement before pressing his entire face up against the glass.

“They’re the most poisonous animal in the world!!! Snakey you should murder Lo with this one!! These bitches can kill like 10 people with 1 poison thingie!!! it’s so cool!!”

“I have read that they can live to up to 15 years so they have ample time to kill hundreds of people in their lifetime” Logan replied.

“!!!! You are SO right!!! That’s my life goal as well!” Remus turned to look around the room and his eyes turned as big as a cat’s “Fucking hell. Look at how THICK that lizard is!!!”

Janus kept being dragged around between the two while they explored the animals. The saw toads stacked on top of each other, insects swarming around and exactly 1 incredibly friendly chameleon who climbed across a tree to get as close to the glass as it could.

Just holding both of their hands was so much to take in but hearing them rant facts to each other while looking so so happy made his heart feel things he didn’t know it could feel. He wanted to kiss them both and beg them to please never ever shut up.

The zoo melted away as he daydreamed about living as a poly relationship. Getting to see them both be this close and happy every day. Getting to hold them both like this every day. Getting to fall asleep next to them. Oh he was so-

“Hey Snakey you’ve been pretty quiet” Remus interrupted “Whatcha think?”

“dfshkjskj” Janus very eloquently let out. He buried his flushed pink face in the fabric of Logan’s shirt.

“Huh. Exactly what I was thinking! Onwards to the snakes!!”

The snake room was oval shaped. The walls were made up of windows into different giant vivariums decorated with branches, warm rocks and food. In the biggest vivarium several big samar cobras were lazing about. They were both big enough and venomous enough to kill a man.

Janus let go of his crushes to press his palms against the glass and wave at the snakes. He looked back at his boyfriend with a big goofy grin “Look at these babies!!”

“They are indeed very pretty”

“They eat rats! Their venom is able to destroy tissue so if you get the venom in your eyes it can create total blindness!! They-” He stopped himself. Stopped his stimming as well “Sorry. I’m rambling”

Remus patted his shoulder “No. Go on. I wanna hear, about the other snakes as well. I promise” Logan nodded along.

Janus hesitated, but they both looked at him with such loving looks he quietly continued “Okay well what I was going to say was...”

They went around and looked at every snake. The other two happily listened to him infodump about every species there. Sometimes they held hands. Sometimes they all stimmed together. Janus was smiling so much his cheeks hurt.

They stayed sitting by the snakes. Janus leaned his head against the glass to bop his nose to the snakes while Remus and Logan ranted to each other about their favorite obscure sci-fi movies (they also exchanged numbers). 

The three of them had a sudden realization that they all loved murder mysteries and decided they had to have some sort of murder mustery movie night some time in the future.

(Logan also saw a poster about how around Christmas snake petting spots overseered by snake experts would be open. He didn’t tell the other two. He figured he would use it as a surprise Christmas gift)

Eventually the zoo got close to closing. It was Logan who had to drag them both away from the snakes and octopuses. The 2 drama kings acted like Lo was dragging them away from their children.

Once they stood on the street outside the zoo Remus said goodbye. For a moment it looked like he was moving in to hug Janus but he decided not to. He disappeared down the street to catch the bus.

“So” Logan turned to his boyfriend “Was it a satisfactory first date?”

Janus rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and moving up on his toes to kiss him on his nose “It was absolutely horrible darling! I hated every second of it!”

“Glad to hear it” His voice softened “I’m proud of you honey”

“It was just a date. It’s nothing. Nothing if it’s with you”

“Well I shall still be proud, because you can not stop me, and I shall still be percentage wise incredibly in love with you” He pressed a loving kiss to his forehead “I will see you at work then”

“Not if I’ve gotten my invisibility spell to work by then muhahah” Janus slowly let go of him “Love you!”

Janus stood by the entrance watching as his boyfriend (it still made him giddy to think that) went to his car. He gulped and tensed his shoulders once he was all alone. He walked over to a more desolate spot and sat down on the side of the payment.

He scrolled through the contacts on his phone while the image of Logan’s smile repeated in his brain. He let out a shaky breathe as he moved the phone up to his ear and listened to the signals.

“Hiya Janister!” The cheery voice of Dr. Picani rang out.

“Hello...I.....I would....I’m just looking to ask if there’s a chance I could book a time for solo therapy? I’m...I’m...honestly not so sure if I’m completely okay...or if my childhood was okay either, but I’m sure I want to get better”