#hey look we did it again with the characters that ketchup is obsessed with and the monster that ketchup is obsessed with!

[ketchup-monthly]

Lanternfam’s favorite vampire media

with the help by @space-specs

Hal- Monster High (the justice league hates when they do mental links via J’onn because he constantly has the first opening stuck in his head and doesn’t even realize hes humming it until someone says something and even then it doesn’t really go away until he has something else stuck in his head. he has also on multiple occasions cross-dresses as one of the female characters to match with Helen, who would dress as one of the guy characters. Hal kills it every single time. he looks so good its not even funny.)(the main two that Hal does are Rochelle Goyle and Operetta. Helen’s are Deuce Gorgon and Holt Hyde)(if anyone wants to draw Hal in either of those outfits please hit me up it would be so good and i would be forever grateful and maybe even owe you a kiss on the forehead for your troubles)

Guy- Twilight (he likes the side characters and wishes that SMeyer hadn’t fucked them all up like she did. he likes the baseball scene in the first movie bc it slaps, and Emmett and Leah are his favorite characters. Emmett is a lot like him and Leah was written so badly. They both deserved so much better.)(he totally doesn’t write twilight fix its on the internet but if you know the right places to go, there may be a fix it fic written by one EmeraldWarrior.)(the fics fix a lot of things about the series and are actually pretty good and god i wish they were real -ketchup)(jo doesn’t read his fics, but she has mutuals who are into Twilight and have read them, so she has heard about the fics in detail from them. she doesn’t put two and two together until she meets Guy and immediately is like “hey wait” and the secret is out but still between the two of them -specs)

John- The Argeneau Series (its vampires but they made it scientific and actually gave answers for why vampires do and require certain things instead of just leaving it down to “idk man. magic or something.” its also not too well known or talked about, so no one has had a chance to ruin it yet. just like how john likes it.)

Kyle- The Lost Boys (comics nerds have to fight vampires and look into comic books to find the answers. home alone with vampire fighting mechanics. need i say more?)(ketchup has never seen this before ever)

Jess- The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters (the series focuses more on the angelic and demonic than the vampires themselves, but they still play a large role in it. She believes Raphael deserved better and thinks its funny that the main vampire character is named Simon.)(the movie does not exist.)

Simon- Buffy the Vampire Slayer (fuck Joss Whedon but Buffy. he liked some parts of the show and hated others but thought it was a very interesting interpretations of an American high school.)

Jo- Castlevania (it is not anime but it is the closest western media will get to that. western animation can do things good too! -specs)(as soon as specs mentioned this, i went oooooooooooh *eyes emoji* bc i love the first two seasons sooo much -ketchup)(also yayyyyy video game series!!)

Keli- Dracula das Musical (she accidentally found it through the Korean version of Zu Ende with the redheaded Dracula on youtube and then watched a subtitled recording of it and fell in love. She likes all the versions of it that are not in English, but the German one is her favorite)(this is ketchups favorite musical)

Alan- Nosferatu (1922) (it is the vampire movie of all time and even though its corny as all get out, he likes the simplicity of it as well as the staying power it had through the depression and the world war. its also just a really hilariously stupid adaptation of Dracula.)

Carol- Vampire Academy (she can and will go on hours long rants about various things in the series. Hal has never read the books, but he did watch the movie on his own time so he could better understand her rants but that just made Carol more angry. the movie does not exist. Hal can still have a conversation with even the most dedicated of readers about the series based on what he has absorbed through osmosis from Carol.)(in this scenario specs is Hal and me and our roommate are both Carol. as this was typed, specs and i had a conversation about the plot in vampire academy lol -ketchup)

Kilowog- Hotel Transylvania (Keli showed it to him while deviously grinning in the corner, a grinch smile on her face bc she was determined to get the big tough alien into the most memeable animated vampire media ever. ‘wog doesn’t get it and ends up dealing psychic damage to the rest fo the earth lanterns when he says its his favorite of the Terran media they show him)

Razer- Blade (he likes knives so he likes the name. also. Blade is a vampire who fights other vampires and Razer is a red lantern who fights other red lanterns. it fits.)

Thaal- Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) (theres a weird monsterfucking scene that kept ketchup from watching it the first time they tried. Thaal would get a kick out of it because hes a kinky motherfucker, as well as the stupid butt wig. seriously wtf is up with the butt wig. its so stupid)

B’dg- Count Chocula cereal boxes (his preferred form of media is staring at cardboard boxes. he finds them very entertaining.)

Helen- Cirque du Freak (specifically the manga adaptation)(she 100% convinced Hal to dress up as Larten Crepsley so she could dress up as Darren for Halloween one year, and this series singlehandedly got her over her fear of spiders)(if you haven’t read the graphic novels they’re so good i promise -ketchup)

[lynn-does-stuff]

More than Friends

A Kustard Oneshot

—————

“You suck at this game.”

“Shut up! It’s only because my hands are tired!”

“Tell that to your ever growing list of losses.”

“Shut up!”

Fell began laughing at his best friend’s pout. This only caused Classic to huff and turn away and pout even more. Which also caused Fell to laugh even harder. Which ended up in a chain reaction of Classic growing more and more upset before he did the only thing appropriate for the situation. As Fell was laughing so hard that tears were starting to form, Classic reached behind them and grabbed one of the pillows from his bed. He then proceeded to smack him with the puffy object.

That shut him up.

“Oh it’s on.” Fell said in a low voice. He quickly stood up on the bed and dropped the game controller on the floor, grabbing the other pillow. They ended up participating in a full on pillow war, each of them being smacked and then immediately hitting the other. They were jumping on the bed as they tried to dodge the other’s attacks, which caused them both to be uneasy with their footing and and stumble a few times, which caused even more laughs between the two of them. All the while the sounds of large guffaws and a forgotten video game theme filled the room.

Eventually, the two of them crashed to the bed, still a mess of laughter. They could barely breathe, for they had worked up quite the sweat, something they found they had been doing more often due to their strong friendship.

The two lay there for a bit, trying to catch their breath and staring at the ceiling. It was almost peaceful, just two best friends hanging out and having a good time.

Suddenly, the tranquility of it all was interrupted as Fell’s phone dinged, signifying a text message. Groaning, he sat up and looked at his phone, then groaned some more and flopped back down on the bed.

Classic sat up and smirked at his companion’s behavior. “Oh? What’s gotten the grumpy cat upset now?”

Fell just groaned again. “Boss texted me. Wanted me to come home. Here for too long I guess.”

“Aww, well I guess you should get going then.” Classic sighed, only now starting to calm down from their earlier squabble.

“Yeah, guess so.” Fell stood up and started to grab his things. He walked over to Classic’s nightstand and grabbed his red turtleneck, slipping it over his dark gray tee shirt. He then grabbed his jacket and slipped that on as well before heading to the door. Classic got up and stretched before following him out of his bedroom.

When they reached the front door, Classic stood in the doorway, waving Fell off. They called out their farewells to each other before Classic almost closed the door. However, before he could, Fell called back again.

“Oh yeah! And next time, I want an opponent!”

“Hey!”

Fell started laughing again as he continued to walk home. Classic shut the door then shivered, for he was still wearing just a light gray tee shirt after all. He had taken off his jacket when they were playing games in his room earlier because it was so hot in there.

Hot... Fell was hot..

Classic kind of wished it was so hot in his room that Fell would have been forced to take off his tee shirt as well, revealing his rib cage to Classic’s eyes.

Classic’s eyes went wide as he realized what he was thinking, a light blue blush dusted across his face. He bit his lower lip as he tried to shake the thought from his mind. The worst thing is that these thoughts have occurred many times before.

Classic and Fell were best friends. When the Multiverse event happened and all of the incode characters were able to become outcodes, they immediately hit it off. Classic had been a little surprised at the appearance of his edgy self, but he was a carefree monster, so he didn't shove him away like Fell thought he would. Ever since, the two have been nearly inseparable. They did almost everything together, like talking about their timelines, playing video games, and even sharing all of their deepest secrets.

Classic smiled at that. Almost all of them. There was no way Fell would be allowed to know his secret. No way in hell would he reveal his true feelings for his best friend. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, Classic wasn't sure what he would do if Fell left him. They relied on each other, and they needed each other.

So, he shoved the dream deep down into the abyss of his soul before collecting himself. They had left their earlier game running after all. Classic smiled to himself.

If he could beat his feelings, he could beat Fell at that stupid game.

***

A few days had passed and Fell still hadn't asked to come over again. They still texted every night to check in with each other and chat, but apparently Fell's brother was working him to death and couldn't get away. So, Classic spent those days lying in his room, avoiding all work possible. He was starting to get a little bored though. All he had been doing was texting Fell and playing that game. He was over it, the bosses were easy to beat, he'd almost mastered the characters, and that theme song was stuck in his head and now it was just annoying.

Classic sighed. He didn't want to do anything, but at the same time he was done with the nothing. So, he sat up and got on his phone and started texting Fell again.

Classic smiled to himself and stood up off the bed. He slipped on his jacket over his gray tee shirt and left his room. He slowly trudged down the stairs, hands in pockets, when a loud voice filled the room.

"SANS! THERE YOU ARE! YOU FINALLY LEFT YOUR ROOM! ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO YOUR SENTRY STATION?"

Classic looked up to see his brother in the kitchen. He bit his lower lip as he thought of an excuse. However, he was known to come up with ways out of sticky situations like these.

"Nah, I'm too lazy. Plus, I'd just sleep all day. Don't wanna steal the credit from your work and all."

Papyrus seemed a little struck back at that before grinning. "OF COURSE! I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES ANY WORK AT ALL, SO I SHOULD GET THE CREDIT! MAYBE THEN I'LL BE IN THE ROYAL GUARD!"

Classic laughed as he strolled on into the kitchen. He walked over to the fridge and took a bottle of ketchup out of it, taking a nice, long drink of the tangy substance. He loved that taste, the tangy goodness as it slid down your throat was amazing, and it went with just about everything. And while it was good with other things, it was amazing just on its own. Nothing else to hide some of it's flavor away.

Papyrus just sighed at his brother's shenanigans. He truly didn't understand his obsession over it. He honestly hated the condiment himself. It was too tangy for his liking, nothing like the spaghetti sauce he used. But wait.. wasn't that made from tomatoes? And isn't ketchup as well? Then why don't they taste the same? Also, if you can put tomatoes in the form of ketchup on a hotdog, can you put tomatoes but in the form of sauce on it? And what about spaghetti? Was that why people made a face when they ate it? Was it because he was supposed to put ketchup on it?

Papyrus sat there, pondering to himself as Classic finished his bottle of ketchup. As he went to throw the bottle away, he saw his brother standing still for once, dead set on whatever it was that was going on in his mind. He chuckled a bit before leaving the puzzled Papyrus behind.

Classic closed the door behind him and breathed in the cold Snowdin air. He shivered slightly as he began walking. How much he wished he had Fell right next to him, holding his hand to warm him up, or maybe even wrapping an arm around his shoulder as they walked.

Classic's eyes widened as he realized what his thoughts had drifted to, blushing furiously. He stopped dead in his tracks at the thought and tried to shake it from his mind. Suddenly he realized he needed to teleport to the surface to go to the movies, silently cursing himself for not realizing it sooner and sparing him from these thoughts.

He brought up his hand and snapped, a sudden tingling feeling erupting all over his body. He felt light, yet heavy at the same time as a faint blue swirl of magic encircled him before he vanished. When he appeared again he felt the tingling feeling disappear as he stumbled slightly, slowly recovering from such a long distance travel. He looked up, suddenly realizing where he was as his eyes widened.

No matter how many times he sees it, the surface will always marvel him. The vibrant colors painted the sky, something that was impossible to witness while they were still underground. There was an infinite amount of space and plenty of room for all of the monsters and humans to live together peacefully.

In his daze Classic failed to hear the oncoming footsteps behind him. Suddenly a hand fell onto his shoulder making him tense up and his eye flare dimly.

“Hey.”

Classic relaxed and let his eye flare go out. Fell had just arrived and stared at the sun with him, hand still on shoulder. Classic relaxed even more at the realization that this is exactly what couples would do. Go out, watch the sun, see a movie, hang at the house, just like couples would do on a date. Wait, was this a date? No, it was merely a hang out, just two friends going to see a movie and play video games, that's all it was and would ever be.

Classic sighed unhappily and leaned his head to the side. He closed his eyes, not truly caring what hard surface his head was on.

"Uh, Classic? You gonna stop falling asleep with your head against mine so we can go see the movie?"

Classic's eyes shot open and he moved away from Fell faster than he's ever moved before, even when he was fighting the human. Because of this, Fell stumbled forward a bit before catching himself and looking to the side.

"Well, uh, let's go see the movie then." Fell turned away and started to walk into the building. Classic recomposed himself and followed close behind, but a question kept boggling his mind.

Was that the tiniest hint of blush on his face?

***

Classic and Fell walked out of the movie theatre, a bit dazed. When they went to buy their tickets, the cashier told them there was only one movie that wasn't sold out for their showtime, so they had decided to take it anyway, not caring what it was. Unfortunately, not only was it a horror movie, but it was also a romance movie. He never got scared during the scary parts, in fact, he and Fell both were laughing at a few of the events in the movie. However, anytime anything romantic happened, Classic's face became a dark blue as he imagined himself and Fell in place of the characters. He had glanced over at Fell and quickly jerked his head in the other direction when they had made eye contact. And all he while Classic couldn't get the fact that Fell was blushing just as bad as him out of his mind.

"It's just because of the movie," he had thought. "He just can't take the romance parts, that's all."

But when they stepped outside, their shoulders bumped, causing Classic to stumble forward a bit before losing his footing. His eyes went wide as he realized his skull could get cracked by the sudden impact of the cement sidewalk and immediately shut them tight, preparing for the impact, when two arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, hoisting him up and setting him back on his feet. Sweating, Classic glances back at the wide eyed Fell whom was still holding onto him. He felt a light, jittery feeling in him, almost as if there were butterflies not just flying around in his nonexistent stomach, but also slamming against his rib cage and his soul even, begging him to make a move.

He stared longingly into his eyes, now realizing how close their faces were. He could feel the other's hot breath as he took in all the features about Fell. His sharp, protective eyes, his loving smile, the crack on the top of his skull that made him look even stronger, it was too much for Classic to handle. He didn't hesitate to close the gap between them, kissing him passionately. Fell's eyes widened in surprise before closing and practically melting into the kiss. He pulled Classic into a better position and tightened his grip around his waist as Classic brought his arms up around the other's neck. When they finally broke away, the two stared lovingly into each other's eyes, blush still very much present. Suddenly Fell turned away.

"I had no idea you liked me like that.." he said, a bit of guilt in his voice. "If I knew, I would've shared my feelings such a long time ago."

Classic was ecstatic. Here he was, his wish finally coming true. He was with the love of his life, hearing that he likes him back and has for a long time. He was practically bouncing up and down because of his joy, rivaling that of Swap!Sans, also known as Blue. He breathed in, happiness still gleaming in his eye lights.

“I guess you could say we’re more than just friends.”

—————

Hhhhhhhh sorry about the weird spacing, I swear my phone is on crack right now-

[master-sass-blast]

Five Times it Was Yours and Wade’s Fault and One Time it Wasn’t.

TIME TO GET FUCKY.

Summary: Five times that you and Wade caused some level of destruction and-or chaos at for the X-Men --and one time that it actually wasn't either of your faults.

Rating: T for language, mild-moderate verbal abuse, and mildly inappropriate hijinks.

Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader and (somewhat) implied Jean Grey/Scott Summers.

Set before “Questions and Answers” but after “Of First Dates and Not So First Kisses.”

Author’s Note: Scott is arguably the worst behaved in the “+1″ bit of this fic. This whole thing is just a bunch of crack and comedy, so don’t worry about missing any sort of plot if you skip that part. Also, this doesn’t really contribute anything plot/characterization-wise to the series, so if you want/need to skip it because of the mild-to-moderate verbal abuse coming from Scott --or if you’re a Scott fan and don’t want to see him getting shit on--then don’t worry, you won’t miss anything crucial.

Taglist: @chromecutie, @marvel-is-perfection, @super-darkcloudstudent, @girl-obsessed-with-things

1. El Pantalones Del Fuego, Except the Pants Are Water, and the Water is Your Swimming Pool, and Yeah, It’s Our Fault, but in Our Defense, It Looks Cool.

 “Wade! Y/N!”

The merc-with-a-mouth in question quickly kicks several containers labelled “heptane” behind him and out of view, while you just try to look as innocent as possible. “Yeah?” the two of you answer simultaneously.

Scott Summers, looking suitably shocked and unquestionably enraged, makes various noises of disbelief while gesturing at the swimming pool on Xavier’s property –which, thanks to the wonderful principles of Chemistry, is currently on fire. “How? How did you even do this?”

“We didn’t do anything,” you lie as more residents and students run over to see what’s going on. “This just… happened.”

“No –no! You two absolutely had something to do with thi—”

“It’s water on fire,” Wade says, barely suppressing the mirth in his voice. “Come on, Clopsie, even I don’t have that kind of power.”

You hide a smirk with your hand as Scott continues to freak out. Yeah, but chemicals sure do.

 ***

 2. Granted, We May Not Have a Future as Car Detailers, but This Still Looks Cool. Also, You’re Out of Sticky Notes.

 Fact: The standard Post-It note is three inches long by three inches wide, giving it a surface area of nine square inches.

Fact: Thanks to quote estimates for vehicle wrapping surfaces, you know that the average surface area for a four door sedan is about two hundred forty three-square feet, the average van is around two hundred ninety-seven square feet, and no one seems to have average measurements for SUVs, but most of the quote estimates start at over ten thousand dollars for those, which has to mean something.

Fact: If you try to add all those together, then convert them to inches, then multiply by the number of cars in the garage at the Institute, then divide by the surface area of a sticky note… you quickly remember why you tutor in writing and not in math.

What you do know is that you and Wade stay up the entire night of the thirty-first of March to cover every single “X-Mobile” (save for the jets, because not even Wade is crazy enough to try and cover those in Post-It notes) in sticky notes, and by the time it’s 8:45 AM, you’ve gone through well over two hundred packs of sticky notes, you’re both exhausted as fuck, and every single car has a dick made out of sticky notes somewhere on its body.

You and Wade grin, then exchange equally tired fist bumps.

Scott’s reaction is going to be legendary.

 ***

 3. Look, It Started Out as Wondering if You Could Fill A House With Enough Balloons to Lift It Off Its Foundation, Sort of Like a Bootleg “UP,” and Then We Found Out You Could Order Balloons En Mass from Amazon, and –Look—at Least We Got Latex-Free Balloons, so That Should Count for Something, Right?

 “This was incredibly wasteful, not to mention time consuming—”

“You got that right,” Wade interjects, voice pitched up and squeaky from the helium he keeps inhaling from one of the –many, many, many—balloons that the two of you used to fill the X-Mansion.

As in the whole mansion. Every single room, all three floors, and the training rooms, too.

You’d thought your fingers were going to fall off from tying off all the balloons.

(One of Wade’s actually did.)

“I am very disappointed in both of you,” Piotr continues, looking every bit the stern, steel disciplinarian with his arms crossed over his chest and his brow furrowed.

You suck in some helium from a balloon, then grin cheekily up at your boyfriend. “Sorry, baby,” you apologize, voice sounding like a cartoon character’s. “Won’t happen again.”

“Dorogoy… please.”

“Sorry.” You gulp down regular air until your voice is back at its normal pitch. “Look, we were just trying to see if we could pull an ‘UP’—”

“Myshka.”

You quickly alter course. “Hey, you have to admit that the kids are having a good time with it.”

Piotr looks over at the front of the house, where the students are delightedly shoving balloons out of the open doors and windows and releasing them to the sky, and smiles softly. “Perhaps. But that does not change that you two are in great deal of trouble. Or that you two will have to clean up all mess from prank.”

“We figured,” you say with a reassuring smile.

“We did?” Wade asks.

You kick your honorary brother in the shins to get him to comply, then grin up at your boyfriend. “We’ve got it covered, babe. No worries.”

Piotr fixes Wade with a stern look, but it softens when he looks over at you. He kisses the top of your head –gently, ever mindful of his strength—then heads off to help corral the students, seemingly satisfied with the reception of his lecture.

Wade heaves a sigh next to you. “Man,” he grumbles, voice still squeaky. “Cleaning up is gonna suck.”

“Yeah,” you agree before sucking down more helium to pitch your voice up once more. “And not in the fun way.”

The two of you laugh –then laugh again at how your laughter sounds—and collapse against the front lawn like the delighted dumbass duo you are.

(The clean-up does suck, though.)

 ***

 4. Okay, Fair Enough, This is a Waste of Food, But We Bought It With Our Own Money, and –Hey—You Have To Admit You Weren’t Expecting It.

 Wade buys the Poptarts. So many Poptarts. More than a year’s supply of Poptarts, even.

He also procures the glue and does glue application, since you’re doing –arguably—the most physically demanding part of the prank.

“What on Earth made you two think that gluing Poptarts to ceiling was a good idea!” Scott snaps, looking like he’s two seconds away from having a coronary.

Which, granted, is basically Mission Accomplished.

“Look, I understand you might suspect Wade,” you start, “but I—”

“Zip it!” Scott snarls, face red and shoulders heaving. “You’re the only person dumb enough to partner up with that.” He points at Wade. “So, don’t even try the ‘I’m so innocent’ act that you use on your boyfriend to get away with murder. It’s not going to work on me!”

You narrow your eyes into an irritated glare. “Who the fuck are you calling ‘dumb?’”

 ***

 5. Hey, All We Did Was What You Asked of Us. Mostly.

 After the “House Full of Balloons” and “Poptarts on the Ceiling” incidents, the two of you are asked to “please, scale back your exploits and consider the wastefulness of your pranks and the ruckus you create, thank you.”

So, you and Wade do just that. No more expensive, house-wide pranks. No more wasting huge amounts of supplies or food.

In fact, the crux of your next prank only takes two cartons of eggs and a roll of duct tape.

See? The two of you can be economical.

And, if the two of you also you industrial strength sealant to shut Scott’s door while he’s gone on an extended mission, no one thinks to comment about it because you do it from the inside. You wouldn’t want to cause a ruckus, after all.

And, if you also drape his entire room and everything in it with garbage bags and seal those bags together with duct tape so nothing can get under the edges, it’s because you two don’t want to ruin everything in his room. That would be wasteful.

And, if you also hook up several hospital grade air purifiers to continually pump the air out of Scott’s room, it’s because you don’t want his neighbors to deal with any sort of averse smells. That would be too grand a scale.

And, if Scott comes home to a room with rotten eggs hanging from the ceiling by strips of duct tape and a slightly maggoty mess on the floor…

Well, that’s no one’s problem but his.

***

 +1. This One Actually Wasn’t On Us. Suck It, Scott.

 It happens on a mass school camping trip in the middle of the summer.

The students are out in the middle of an otherwise abandoned, grassy field, working on practicing using their powers by playing games of balloon toss, going through rope climbing courses together, and other fun activities—

And then a car explodes.

There’s a lot of jumping and screaming as the sound of the explosion rockets through the air, then various teachers use their abilities to protect the students and everyone else as random car chunks rain down from the sky.

There’s a moment of silence as everyone stares at the car, in various state of shock—

And then the silence is shattered when Scott Fucking Summers loses his shit.

“That does it!” Scott storms over to you and Wade, face redder than ketchup and body trembling with rage. “I have had it with you two destroying Institute property at whatever idiotic whim strikes you!”

“Woah!” Wade holds up his hands defensively. “We didn’t have anything to do with this one!”

“Save it, Scarface! We both know that you’re the only one insane enough to blow up a car—”

“He’s telling the truth, you monumental as -jerk!” you shout (and quickly censoring yourself, to boot), glaring down Scott. “Wade and I didn’t do this! Our pranks might be crazy, expensive, and-or annoying, but we don’t blow up cars. Moreover, we don’t put people at risk like that!”

“Do you honestly think anyone’s going to believe that?”

“‘Do you honestly think anyone’s going to believe that?’” you repeat back in an obnoxious, nasal tone. “Do you even hear yourself right now?”

“You sanctimonious—”

“Enough!” Piotr storms between you and Scott, causing the shorter man to back up several paces. “I understand frustration and shock, but that does not give you right to lash out at others.”

“Are you kidding me?” Scott screams. “You let her get away with murder—”

“We didn’t do it!” Wade hollers, cutting Scott off.

“The last person on the face of the Earth that I would ever believe—”

“He’s telling the truth, Scott.”

Scott whirls, expression dumbfounded, and stares at his girlfriend, Jean. “What? Are you kidding me? You’re saying that you believe them?”

“Clarissa did it,” Jean says firmly, arms wrapped around a weeping second-grader’s shoulders. “It was an accident. She lost control of her powers.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because she told me,” Jean states flatly, expression one of irritation. “And because I can read minds.”

“Wilson’s mind can’t be read!”

“But Y/N’s can. And she’s telling the truth about both of them having nothing to do with the car exploding.” Jean narrows her eyes at her boyfriend. “Unless you think I’m lying.”

Scott flounders for a moment, then slowly realizes that everyone else –staff, teachers, and students—is staring at him.

“Go cool off for bit,” Piotr says to him, nodding in the direction of the tents.

“I don’t need—"

“Go. Cool. Off.”

Scott seems to size up the situation –chiefly, him versus three hundred plus pounds of angry, grade A Russian beef—and quickly beats feet towards the tents.

“Suck it, bitch,” Wade mutters under his breath as he watches Scott go. “Suck it so hard.” His expression goes stormy for a moment, and then it brightens again as he turns to face you. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” you say after a moment as you watch Scott with unease. “I’m fine.”

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Any Other Tuesday (ch2, baon)

Summary:   It started the same as any other Tuesday

Tags: Spicyhoney, Original Undertale Characters, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Prejudice Against Monsters, Violence, Injury

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter One

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

A bus ride, a short walk, and a bowl of spinach dip later, and they were settled in front of the television, ready to be awed by one of the worst movies ever made. That was fine by Jeff; being in Edge and Stretch’s house was frankly nicer than being in his own. Not that his roommates were bad guys, but they were roommates, not really friends, and his own small room became claustrophobic if he spent too much time in it.

They ended up sitting on the sofa together, the dip on the end table where Jeff could toss a chip in from time to time. Stretch was too tall to sprawl out across the cushions if someone was already sitting on it, so he tended to sort of curl up and lay with his head on whoever’s lap was in his way. He did the same thing no matter who it was; Jeff, Edge and his brother, although there was an obvious difference in the level of sprawl and the amount of handsyness involved.

Jeff figured it was just a Stretch thing, but he kinda wondered what Edge thought about it, given his paranoia about Humans getting touchy-feely with Stretch. The past few visits Edge hadn’t given them so much as a sideways glance, so Jeff figured he’d made it on the short list. Edge wasn’t his friend like Stretch was, they didn’t text or send snapchats, didn’t meet up for coffee or weird experiments. He was still a friend and that was Jeff’s short list.

So yeah, sitting on the sofa earned a Stretch in the lap. Not that he couldn’t sit in one of the armchairs, he could, but, eh, this was obviously something Stretch preferred and he was Jeff’s friend. Who was he to deny something so easy when it made him happy?

The only problem he ran into was where to put his hands. On the skull seemed weirdly intimate, but they didn’t fit on his own lap. In the end, he settled one hand on Stretch’s side and the other on the armrest. Not that Stretch seemed to care; he was sleeping before the movie got through the opening credits. It made Jeff think maybe he wasn’t being as honest about how he was feeling as he could be.

Well, if a nap would do him good, then Jeff was fine with playing the role of pillow.

He kept as still as he could, watching the movie while Stretch slept, sometimes glancing down at him. It was sort of interesting, honestly. Skeleton Monster, not skeleton and it struck him again how little they looked like a human corpse or a lab display. For one, he was breathing, his chest rising and falling even without lungs to fill. His joints were very faintly tinted orange, and he twitched a little in his sleep, murmuring nonsensically. Skeleton Monsters looked alive and when he was awake, Stretch was full of grins and snark, dragging everyone in to the gravity well of his exuberance.

How did some Humans look at Monsters and see something to hate? Jeff didn’t understand it.

And hey, maybe it was because he was Human, but he wasn’t fucking sorry that the guy who’d attacked Stretch on the bus was dead. Hasta la vista, baby.

The movie was almost over when the front door opened with a jangle of keys. Stretch stirred, sitting up with a yawn as Edge came in, mumbling out, “hey, babe.”

“Hello, you two,” Edge said easily, unsurprised at the scene before him, which meant Stretch had managed to text him at some point before he spent time drooling on Jeff’s pant leg.

Edge walked over, leaning down to give Stretch a kiss and Jeff kept his eyes pointedly on the tv. Normally, his little shipper heart would be throwing off sparkly joy to see his favorite couple so happy together but lately, it brought up an ache. too. He wanted to be the one giving those welcoming kisses to his lover or better yet, getting them as he came home from his new job.

That kiss lasted a little too long for a friendly greeting, and Jeff finally coughed pointedly. It was probably a sign that he really was friends with Edge that it only got him an amused glance and not a glare.

Edge flicked a look at the television. “I hope that movie is nearly over. Torture after a full day at work is against the Geneva convention.”

From behind him came a familiar voice “You guys want to get out of here with your lovey dovey or should I stay on the porch?”

Antwan.

Jeff leaned enough to look around Edge and saw him. He was standing in the open doorway, leaning against the jamb. Still dressed in his work clothes, his tie loosened, and the top button undone on his shirt. It was a good look on him, clean-cut and a little mussed and, honestly, he looked good enough to eat, no ketchup required. His slow smile when he saw Jeff only made a flutter of warmth leap in his chest.

He wandered over, almost mimicking Edge as he leaned down to give Jeff a warm, deep kiss. By the end of it, they probably deserved a throat clearing of their own, but hell with it. Jeff wasn’t about to give this up too quickly.

“Hey, pretty,” Antwan pulled back, breathed it close to his ear and Jeff shivered. Not exactly the afternoon kiss of his dreams but it was damn close.

“If you’re quite finished.”

Edge stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching them with a brow bone raised while Stretch was sprawled on the other side of the sofa, leaning against the arm with his chin propped on his updrawn knees as he stared. His eye lights looked like little hearts, soft and warm.

“Yeah, yeah, quit bitching. And you, stop that,” Antwan gave Stretch a gentle poke as he walked past him. “We need to talk shop a little longer, finish your movie and we’ll get dinner started.”

“that better not mean you’re cooking, antwan,” Stretch called after them as they walked to the kitchen. “i wanna actually be able to eat the food, not bury it to ease its suffering.”

Antwan didn’t even look behind him as he offered an upraised middle finger in their direction and Stretch grinned, leaning in confidingly to Jeff. “he secretly loves me.”

It was meant as a joke. Stretch couldn’t read the doubts that were engraved in his thoughts, and it shouldn’t hurt to hear that, it shouldn’t. Instead he looked away, towards the shelves that lined one of the walls.

“Did Edge get some new action figures?” Jeff asked, both eager to change the subject and honestly curious.

“hmm? oh, yeah, but don’t ask me what the hell they are,” Stretch rolled to his feet and wandered over to the shelves. “he lives for ebay, finds all kinds of weird shit, gets lot jobs and rebuilds ‘em.”

“He does a good job.” Each figure was meticulously placed on the shelf, some on risers and others lined up around them. Jeff wasn’t sure of the organization, but he had no doubt that Edge planned it as obsessively as he did everything else. The rhyme and reason surely made sense to him, despite the fact that GI Joes were placed next to She-Ra, smaller Lego sets interspersed between them.

Jeff admired the display, mentally cataloging the different series and wondering at the value. Even out of the package, they were probably worth a decent amount, and whatever repairs he did sure as hell didn’t show.

One of them caught his eye, an Optimus Prime figure that towered a head above the others. The gun in his hand was loose and about to fall, and Jeff reached out to fix it before it could escape and get lost in the carpet. His nudge turned out a little too hard, and the Transformer wobbled dangerously, falling into a grim-faced He-Man and they could only watch in frozen horror as the chain reaction ran through the entire shelf, a domino massacre of action figures that only ended when the last figure toppled, piled on the shelf with its fallen brethren.

The silence was broken only by the tinny soundtrack of the ending movie coming from the television.

“oh,” Stretch said, blankly. He reached out weakly, his hand hovering over the pile, trying and failing to decide which to start with. “well. i mean. i guess that could’ve been worse?”

As if only waiting for a prompt from the universe, the shelf collapsed, falling into the one beneath it and sending them both to the floor. Action figures scattered, an explosion of plastic and Jeff could only watch the destruction in mortification

Slowly, he leaned down and picked up the Optimus, the one who had started the entire catastrophe. The gun was still firmly in his hand, it was only a shame that the arm was no longer attached to the body.

"What was that?" The kitchen door swung open, Edge and Antwan stepping out. Two steps into the living room, Edge stopped mid-stride, his eye lights widening as he took in the carnage of his beloved display.

"babe!" Stretch said, brightly and a little panicked as he whirled around, wringing his hands. "um, sorry, i...uh...i bumped into the shelf and knocked it over. kinda set off a chain reaction there, really, we should complain to the manufacturer, there’s no way it should have fallen that easily, am i right? probably have a lawsuit on our hands, maybe, good thing you’re here, antwan, bet you know how to make ikea pay--”

Jeff could feel sweat beading on his forehead, biting his lip as he tried to figure out what to say. He felt awful, bordering on nauseous and, fuck, he couldn’t let Stretch take the blame for his stupid mistake. On one hand, Edge probably wouldn’t get as angry with Stretch, but on the other. he shouldn’t get angry with Stretch at all, he didn’t do anything. He needed to speak up, say something but the words were stuck, clogged up in the tightness of his throat.

"It's all right," Edge said, gently interrupting Stretch’s rambling. The gentleness in his voice shouldn’t be a surprise, Jeff knew him better than that, and still. He couldn’t help cringing a little when Edge’s eye lights flicked to him, his words obviously meant for them both. "There was no harm done. They're action figures, they were made to be played with, a little fall isn't going to damage them."

"nope, nothing broken at all!" Stretch chirped with almost desperate hope. Jeff couldn’t even agree, not with the evidence in his hands.

Edge only sighed and shook his head. "Which one broke?"

Meekly, Jeff held Optimus out and watched in misery as Edge's eye socket twitched visibly. He took it, turning it to inspect the damage.

"I'll find you another one," Jeff blurted. Even if he had to find another job, work nights for a while, he would. "I'm so sorry, I--"

Edge held up a hand and Jeff fumbled miserably to a stop. "I accept the apology, but it isn't broken. It looks like the screws were loose. This is an easy repair, it's all right, there’s no harm done."

“But the shelves—” Jeff started.

At that moment, the smoke alarm chose to join the chaos, blaring its alarm. Edge thrust the toy back into Jeff’s hands and dashed back into the kitchen, Antwan on his heels.

The world is turning against me, Jeff decided with almost giddy dismay. Wheee!

“huh.” Stretch stuck his hands in his pockets contemplatively while the fire alarm wailed in the back ground, mixing horribly with the eerie music still pouring from the tv. “this keeps getting better. c’mon, i need to see how this ride ends.”

Reluctantly, Jeff followed him into the kitchen. He was right, they needed to see this through to the bitter end. And anyway, misery loved company.

Moments later in the strange silence left by defused fire alarm, they stood in a circle around the charred remains on the kitchen island, an impromptu funeral for an unexpected demise.

Jeff wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be, but what it was right now was charcoal.

With two fingers, Stretch plucked a wooden spoon from the holder, gingerly poking the remnants. “hate to say it, babe, but i don’t think we have enough tabasco for this one.” He dropped the spoon and dusted off his hands, adding brightly. “how does everyone feel about chinese?”

Edge took a deep breath. "Right. Dinner out it is."

“Chinese will work,” Antwan said agreeably. “Not up to your standards, buddy, but sometimes you’ve got to take one for the team.”

Jeff only shuffled his feet, trying desperately to think of a way to beg off. His bank account had about twenty dollars in it until he got paid Friday and he couldn’t blow it all on dinner tonight.

Before he could think of a decent excuse, if there was one past the truth, Stretch slung an arm around his shoulders. “why don’t you two finish the funeral arrangements and we can clean up the living room.”

He tugged and Jeff followed, reluctantly, out of the kitchen. The action figure carnage was right where they’d left it, but before he could take a step towards it, Stretch leaned down, talking low, “i know what you were gonna say, okay, but please, we’ve got this. if you don’t let him feed you, he’ll be grouchy all night and i’ll have to deal with him and i kinda make a point of not dealing with him when he’s grouchy, and then i won’t be able to sleep tonight, and you wouldn’t do that to my health, would you?”

That was a very obvious ploy, so painfully blatant, and the hopefulness in Stretch’s face was all part of it, a very deliberate act, all of it. He knew that. So why the hell was Jeff so weak against it?

“No, I wouldn’t,” Jeff sighed.

“excellent!” Stretch said cheerily. “so let’s at least gather up the bits and bobs before we hit the town, right?” He leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, with a furtive look at the kitchen door, “tell you the truth, i love restaurant chinese food more than what he makes. edge doesn’t add enough msg.” Stretch gave him a wink. “don’t ever tell him i said that. promise?”

“I promise,” Jeff said, hooking Stretch’s pinkie with his own and shaking solemnly, before he broke and grinned. Somehow, Stretch always made him feel better, even when he was stupid or broke. He’d pay him back someday, Jeff told himself fiercely. Pay him back for everything.

There were three hours left before things came crashing down, the fate poised above them ready to rip through his hopeful intentions the same as it did his skin, but Jeff didn’t know that. None of them did. Three hours, and right now Jeff was picking up action figures, laughing over them with nostalgia and wonder, carefully matching them to their toy axes and guns, and piling them together while Edge and Antwan disposed of the wreckage in the kitchen.

Chinese food did sound really good, he decided, and the company was better. It’d be fun and who knew, he could end up staying the night at Antwan’s, balancing his maybes for another night.

Better than the mac and cheese in his fridge, anyway, and soon they were all in Edge’s car, heading towards Ebott. And fate.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Three

[an-infinity-of-possibilities]

every odd number for the weird asks, darling 🥂

Hey darling :) always happy to see you in my notes

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Coffee mugs... Coffee addict here and my addiction also applies to coffee mugs

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum :)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? I don't really drink soda in general but when I do I prefer in glass cups :)

7. earbuds or headphones? Headphones :)

9. favorite smell in the summer? Hmm... That's a good one. I'll say sea side and rain? I don't know haha maybe my apple trees too

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? On average? coffee which isn't really breakfast but yeah... Sometimes smoothies

13. lanyard or key ring? Lanyard. I always lost my keys so I actually have three lanyards just so I won't lose them or let them out of my sight

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? As a school assignment? Either Mrs Dalloway or a book from Québec called Marie-Tempête

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Cheap black shoes from walmart. They are really comfortable but nothing special

19. sleeping position? On my left side? BUt I do move a lot in my sleep so yeah

21. obsession from childhood? Harry Potter, Anne of Green Gables and Princess Diaries

23. strange habits? I don't know ? NOthing comes to mind right now haha Bringing a book with me at all times?

25. first song you remember hearing? Either Bed of Roses or Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi... It definitely was a BOn Jovi song

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Staying inside with my blanket, a good book and hot cocoa. I shouldn't be Canadian.... I absolutely hate the cold. Can't stand it

29. best way to bond with you? Sharing music, book, movies :)

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh dear... Hmm power suits? I absolutely love suits. I probably have too many of them tbh

33. most used phrase in your phone? Probably "idk" haha or like sorry. Something like that

35. average time you fall asleep? When do I ever fall asleep? haha probably 2 am if I had to say an hour but my sleep schedule is a little messed up

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie :)

41. last person you texted? My friend about a book she told me to read a while back

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Can I say two? hahah I mean I am more often wearing hoodies because it's considered more appropriate to wear inside and I am always cold... But when I am outside I always have one of my leather jackets

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? All three? But if I had to pick only one absolutely? Fantasy

47. favorite type of cheese? I don't think I have a favourite type of cheese? I don't eat that much of it tbh

49. what saying or quote do you live by? It's actually a A.A Milne quote from Winnie the Pooh. Please don't judge. My mum surrounded me with Winnie stuff when I was younger. It's " You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Something I try to remind myself everyday.

51. current stresses? Life hahah Nah but seriously a bunch of little nothings. My flat, I am stressed my grades won'T be good this semester. My car ( which is fine and has been for over a month), my cat having difficulties getting used to the new place... Loads of small little things.

53. what is the current state of your hands? They are clean and I just put lotion on them so they smell like vanilla. B But also A mess? Haha Up until two weeks ago I was working not only a very physical job but also one that messed up my hands. I have cuts everywhere on them and even a new scar cause of it. They will be fine in a week or two :)

55. favorite fairy tale? Oh gosh that is a difficult one.... I would probably go with... The little mermaid tho? But it changes depending my mood

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Hmm.... That's a good one. Accepting who I am is one of them for sure. Standing up for myself ( I am better at it but still I could improve). Choosing my health over what I was expecting of myself. OVer my plans when I dropped out of uni

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? :O No idea, I don't feel I have any real catchphrase? I'D probably the sude character who curses a lot tho hahah

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Again good one. There's so many. I love quotes. I'll go with... " We accept the love we think we deserve" from Perks of being a wallflower. I mean... It's true. Anyways... In my experience it is. When my self esteem was at its lowest.... I dumped my very good girlfriend cause I thought I didn't deserve her love. That she was too good for me.. To end up with a guy who was a violent narcissistic asshole... I didn't wanna leave him cause I thought that was exactly what I deserved that I could never do better. I did leave him in the end. but yeah...

63. five songs that would play in your club? - Dancing Queen by Abba -Poor Some Sugar on me - Def Leppard -Every Time We Touch - Cascada ( Don't judge I have good party memories with that song ahah ) - The Ketchup Song - Las Ketchup (Cause memories hahah) - Believe - Cher

65. any permanent scars? Loads ahah I have a big one on my back that almost goes from side to side from my heart surgery. I have one on my right side... again that surgery. It almost looks like a star. I have on my lip from when I was learning how to climb table when Mum wasn't looking. One on my finger from work when I was working in dried cranberries factory. One on my ankle from whe I fell in the ditch when learning how to bike without the little wheels. One on my knee cause I am just that talented that I fall over nothing x) A new one on my hand from work... Seriously the list goes on hahha but I do have scars.

67. good luck charms? My necklace. I never take it off unless I absolutely have to. It used to be my mum's but she gave it to me when I was going through a rough patch in high school.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Hmm... Nothing comes to mind? Sorry If I ever think of something I will be sure to let you know

71. least favorite pattern? Polka dot? I don't know hahha

73. favorite weird flavor combo? Cheese and maple syrup? haha

75. when did you lose your first tooth? I don't remember? I was in elementary school for sure... But I do remember the dentist had to take it out himself cause I had waited too much before I told anyone my tooth was moving hahha

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? My cacti? haha

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? School. On my Driver's license I look like a murderer

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies

83. writing or drawing? Both? hahaha BUt writing if I have to choose

85. fairy tales or mythology? Mythology. Both are great but... Mythology is the best

87. your greatest fear? Spiders? But if we're talking about like... Life fears? NOt being enough

89. who would you put before everyone else? My little brother. My little sister ( sometimes) and my parents.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes

93. nicknames? Fae, Fa, Fancy, Fancy Rodger, Roger.

95. favorite app on your phone? Music app haha I mean I cannot live without music soooo

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? At least a dozen? Mostly cause everyone in the family has the same phone number since forever.... I have no memory whatsoever so I am even surprised I know these ones.

Thank you for these asks Darling :) There was a lot but I enjoyed writing them haha Took me a while. I had an hectic week but I promise I love these things I am just very bad at timing my stuff haha

[theinsanecrayonbox]

the great FOP review mega dump

ok so apparently the rest of s10 was aired at the end of June through July of this year. now granted, i do not get NickToons and used a friend’s DVR to record it, so there’s a margin for error, but i don’t recall any of these episodes ever getting recorded. i could be wrong, my memory sucks, BUT TVGuide is stupid and has a habit of putting the wrong names/numbers on things and if the guide doesn’t list the episode as new because half of it already aired, then it wouldn’t get recorded. so again, huge margin for error.

basically, i hadn’t posted these yet because i didn’t realize they’d aired; i was trying to avoid spoiling anything for people. Nick sucks at their programming schedule. these first viewing reviews are nearly a year old in some cases, since it was about a year ago that i was given links to watch some of these online after they’d aired in other countries. so yeah, probably a little dated, might not hold up, but here they are so we can be done with this.

Which is Wish:

 Chloe is a vegetarian??? Has this been said before??

 I feel like everything in the garage there was in the attic when Dad made Timmy clean that out before…not that that isn’t plausible, since that’d be one way to “clean” the attic lol. Just thought it was a neat commentary.

 But yes Chloe, unleash your organizational skills. Color coded labels are awesome! Cleaning sucks, but labels lol

 And yes, switching bodies always works so well doesn’t it Timmy…but heehee he called Chloe pretty XD though in fairness…doesn’t this mean Chloe is still eating the meat, because Tim’s in her body…or do they just *look* like one another? See, that’s the gray area…

 Ok I do not like all these moments of Dad seeing Cosmo and Wanda; they’re glossed over yes, but still. That should break Da Rules though, because they’ve been revealed (not to mention Crocker knows about them a million times over I know). it just seems like a cheap gag that they don’t need, and it’s annoying.

 “Chlimmy Turnermicheal” lol, I need to draw a fusion of my Opals now XD;;;

 Ok yes, they’ve body swapped, not glamoured, so Chloe *did* eat the meat after all, thank you for explaining that

 Seriously, it’s Cosmo loosing the wands (for the umpteenth time) that is going to cause the problems here -.-

 Yay more Chloe parents! They aren’t 1 or 2 offs! Though…why were they absent up until this point? Did they decide to take a sabbatical from work after the booby incident? That’d be nice

 OMR Danny, Vlad (wait nasty Dan? Hu oh well), and Dudley puppets. That is too cute for words!!

 And a Little Shop joke. Eeeeeeee!!! I know they’ve done man-eating plants before, but still!

 Chloe’s dad faints at failure? Hm, that could be useful.

 Tim admitting he’d miss Chloe is sweet, especially since it wasn’t with any mention of loosing his fairies

 Hahahaha dressing up as each other/themselves, that’s great. Cosmo’s head blowing up is getting old though.

 All in all I give this episode a huge A+. It is a cliché trope of a plot, but I feel it was executed really really well!! Nice balance of magical aspects with non-magical ones I thought, and gave development to both kids and their families.

Fairy Con:

 Ok first of all, I thought Fairy conventions were held every thousand years or so, and was actually just for the fairies. Granted, this “Fairy con” could be a different event OR they changed the event after Timmy’s bathroom one, since that could’ve been the first time a godchild was involved? Also, Timmy is you go “every year” that shows that this is at least 2 years after you got your fairies (because you had Cosmo Con, then assume one after that, then at minimum this one), so why are you still 10?????? (and don’t go saying “the time stopping wish in secret wish” because uhg)

 Crocker in the fridge….ok…but adding in Crocker to crash the Con…yeah this is a complete plot reusing of Cosmo Con, just updating it a bit

 Look Girlfriend the cat isn’t dead!!

 If you’ve had their hair samples for that long why haven’t you cloned them before?? But “off brand cloning machine” is sorta funny. Also, Kenny G? that a Spongebob shout out or not?

 Ok if it merged the cat DNA with the fairy why didn’t it merge the fairy DNA together too? Also, missed your mark to have a real “fairy cat” show up (though no Sparky so we don’t need it anymore I guess)

 Oh but Chloe’s enthusiasm over her first con, I am so happy at that ^^ I just had my first comic con, and I was spazzing like that too when I wasn’t freaking out over being ditched and lost.

 Ok that is yet ANOTHER unique birthday for Timmy. He’s up to what, 5 now since the series started? (Boys in the Band, Birthday Bashed, Birthday Battle, the one mentioned in Birthday Battle about the dinosaurs) the kid is at least 14 now, he has to be!

 I like all the backgrounders. Some look super squashed, but still neat.

 Tooth fairy returns! Yay! We had mentions of Cupid and Mother Nature before, so it’s nice to see the magical celebrities are still around and not forgotten.

 Ahhh! The return of the Crocker Pot which captures fairies!! Ok I am giving this writing team an A- on doing their lore homework because they are getting so many things right (though the Fairy Con being thrown off is still deducting points sorry)

 There was a blonde fairy that looked like Samantha in the background O.o

 “Chloe Carmichael, any normal person would give up right now. But you are NOT normal!” - omr Chloe I love you and your “never quit” song was good and humorous, I still love you

 Timmy how can you not know what Crocker is up to? He’s always up to the same exact thing. If he’s in Fairy World, I’m fairly sure there is a 1000% chance he’s there to capture fairies. Geeze.

 OMR Princess Morebucks was in the seats at Cosmo’s panel, I’m not joking.

 All in all, it wasn’t a giant impacting story, but it was a good one, even though it was a total reusing of a plot. I feel like the writing team did their homework pretty decently (for the most part). Plus, the magic of cons ^^

The Hungry Games:

 This is the B-Story to Fairy Con…interesting choice…more fangirl!Chloe…

 I love her “Katniss hair”, heck I just love seeing alternate hair on her

 Heh “Ketchup Everdream”, wow, ok, sure

 That might be the wrong movie, but it sounds interesting. What movie was that Cosmo?

 Aw Chloe lost…but yay call back to screaming in her closet

 Lol Crocker is once again, king of dystopian world. That is perfect. This is all perfect.  Maybe it’s because I liked the Hunger Games movie that I can thoroughly enjoy this parody, idk. But this is great. I am loving this episode.

 And cue the pointless Dad part…wait Mr Bickles?? Where have you been?? Why are you here???

 I like the blonde/pink haired backgrounder

 I really loved this episode! It was so nice how Timmy did this for Chloe and stuck with it even when it was bad for him, then she turns around and does something nice for him at the end. It let Chloe fly her freaky fangirl flag on so many levels. Like I said, I liked Hunger Games, so this was a great parody that was loads of fun. I really really enjoyed all of it.

 As a whole episode, these two really show us what a geeky girl Chloe is I think. She’s not just the over achieving little Ms Perfect she was at first, she’s got her weird hobbies and obsessions too. And the fact that she was so into Fair Bears AND dystopian doomy future really says a lot about her, and really speaks to me on many levels. It’s just solidified my love of Chloe even more.

Dimmsdale Daze:

 And we start off with jokes about barfing…well it is a roller coaster so I can let it slide…just don’t spiral out of control with them…

 Heehee “vines” joke, that’s great. Because it highlights their age AND that they are more naturalist

 Oooo Connie said “shyster”, that’s pretty borderline…

 Chaining yourself to the tree in town…wouldn’t that be the same tree that Tootie did the same thing to in the first live action movie? I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…

 Did Chloe’s middle name change? O.o but lol to the “when you’re a parent you can make the decisions” because I head canon them meddling after Chloe’s divorce, but I know that line is the plot fodder, so I’ll just push the head canons away for now

 Lookit that adult!Chloe though!! I’m not that far off the mark with my design (plus you know, there are several older!Timmy designs and none are more true than the other, so my older!Chloe being short and bustier is still plausible). And hey lookit! Cameo of the adult!Timmy from Big Problem AND confirmation that if one of the godkids breaks Da Rules they both loose the fairies TOGETHER

 Neither Clark nor Connie really look too much like Chloe as children (ok Connie *does* but when you consider they made child Dad look exactly like Timmy before, it’s not quite enough)…just another tick in my adopted column, just saying…

 Why did that child in the bounce house have lipstick O.o

 Chloe’s earring is like, in the wrong place and it’s bothering me…

 “But I have the mind if a child” “It’s true, he’s been tested” – I…wow, just…yes?

 And of course Connie and Clark get assigned Cosmo and Wanda, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming honestly ^^;;

 You know, even though this is sort of a rehash of Big Problem and The Switch Glitch I thoroughly enjoyed this one! Single mom!Chloe was great, it feeds my future headcanons. It proved that Tim and Chloe do share the negative effects of the fairies. And it was just a really good Chloe episode that Timmy was just a supporting character in. I really did like it. A+

 As a whole, I think both parts (this is meant to be paired with Spring Breakup) work nicely together. It’s a lot of Chloe and her family, so if you want some serious Carmichael development, do for this set most definitely.

Chip off the Old Crock:

 Ok before getting into this one, I just gotta state that since I read the description for it, I’ve been ITCHING to see this. How does Crocker have a nephew if he has no siblings? (*current thoughts: i’ve since this review come up with a plausible scenario*) What would this child be like? How could I use him for Superverse conveniently?? And then I saw screencaps and saw that he was a mini Crocker and got disappointed…

 But now we are to watch so let us see how that unfolds…

 What’s with that redheaded backgrounder?? He looks like a Lebowitz!! *files that away for layer usage*

 Still laughing that he’s named Kevin since that is a “name of evil” in our games and what not ever since my brother used it as a placeholder name for a badguy in a storyline; ever since then “Kevin” had been the badguys who are sorta pointless lol

 But still…”study abroad” um…you still could’ve used that since Crocker obviously has family in Canada; studying in California would then be considered “abroad” if he was Canadian. And that way, he wouldn’t have to be his literal nephew, but his 2nd cousin, but they just call each other uncle/nephew because it’s easier. That might sound confusing, but at least it makes more sense then just randomly implying he has siblings when he never has. I’m gonna headcanon this from now on, and no one can convince me otherwise. (*current thoughts: again, i’ve figured it out since writing this; i’ve left the original thoughts though to prove my though process from point A to point B*) Plus you miss out on Canada jokes this way…

 Awww Kevin, I’m starting to love you…that’s weird…

 Everyone pick a partner-no one pick Kevin, classic. However…redhead boy had 2 partners, why didn’t Crocker notice and stop that? There’s no reason why Chloe and Tim needed to pair up with him aside from plot relevance…

 Ah sweet Chloe, standing up for the misunderstood and outcast, trying to find the good in them and make others see it too. I love you sweetheart ^^ go make friends with Francis now please

 Why isn’t Dolores fawning over Kevin? You’d think she wouldn’t let her *grandson* out of her sight, considering the coddling we’ve seen her give Denzel at times. Unless she’s busy with her *other child* I guess…but in that case why isn’t she belittling Denzel for not being like *his sibling* and having kids and not living in her basement? I’d love to see Denzel look like a looser compared to this *sibling* he suddenly has, and it suits the family dynamic as we know it. Or perhaps the *sibling* is more of a looser, but Dolores still sings their praises because they did move out and have a kid, unlike Denzel who has a steady job and whatnot because *sibling* is a total bum. I mean, I get that it would only slow down the storyline, but it just feels out of character, plus the sudden introduction of a *sibling* just is wrong too…I should stop analyzing the Crocker family and just go back to the actual plot

 Kevin wants to be a dentist??? O.o are you related to Dr Bender??? That…would explain nothing honestly, idk why I went there

 “Sorry I’m too busy being a loner” haha that’s a good one

 Hey callback to Crocker wearing ladies clothes. Nice.

 “It’s a blueprint so shouldn’t it be blue?” hahaha that was funny

 Chloe how did you get to the top of the rock wall without a rope?? Did you boulder your way yup there?? And Tim! You should never rock climb without a belier(sp?) geeze, rock climbing 101 there dude

 And toilet joke…but I will let it slide because I am actually enjoying Kevin

 “Unleash your inner looser” omr yes best line

 Ah the build up to the betrayal “aw you guys actually like me” “well yeah you’re not evil” *does the evil thing* “we hate you now because you are evil after all”

 Unsuspecting Van is back whoot!

 Ninja!Chloe and Tim with a light saber; nice, but what a missed opportunity…also Chloe has a ninja suit…she really is replacing Tootie isn’t she…

 And Kevin saves the day by wishing none of this ever happened…just like Chester did in Fairy Idol hm…

 But at the end of it, I’m actually very surprised how much I liked this despite all its flaws. It’s riddled with clichés and huge plot holes/continuity errors, but I genuinely liked Kevin (and whole heartedly look forward to writing him into Superverse…also would it be too weird if he was Kyler’s father? I think it’d be weird…). I think it’s a nice B-story to Cat and Mouse and together they make a pretty good episode.

Space Ca-Dad:

 Off topic a moment here; rewatching the theme and it just dawned on me…maybe there’s a “fairy shortage” because no one’s enforcing the rules over fairies being revealed/discovered. I mean, if everyone Timmy knows knows about his fairies and yet he keeps them, then other kids must be doing that too you know. Just saying Jorgen, you caused this problem yourself man…and honestly, why not outsource the fairy jobs then to other magical creatures, since Fairy Idol proved any magical creature can be converted to a fairy godparent. It’d be a great way to bring Norm back if you stop and think about it, or a way to get the Pixies back in there too. I’m just saying, the “fairy shortage” story is pretty weak…still think Jorgen just did this to them because they’re good for each other…

 Ok back to the episode itself

 Yay Chloe is still a Squirrely Scout, good for continuity! And you love food puns? i love you more Chloe, you so are a Catman related heroine aren’t you ^^;

 Did he say “Mrs Lipshitz” or “Mrs Libwitz”? it was really hard to tell, so idk if that’s a Rugrats shout out or someone I have to add to my  Lebowitz family tree (cause slurred sound…and the witch/mental thing does suit the family…)

 Dad you had the rank of “flying squirrel” why is this confusing??

 Ok there are “Pickles” living on the street, I’m going with Lipshitz. So many Rurgrats shout outs.

 Whinny kid, Kid with issues (aren’t you Kevin?), and Stuart…so we are going with the latest (and suckier) Squirrel Scout troop line up. Kay.

 Chloe as a jr. astronaut though and knowing how to fly space ships ^^

 Heehee “Space Jam” how many more thinly veiled references can we have XD;;

 (maybe Squirrely Kevin is Kyler’s father…that’s doable…)

 Ah yes, Dad throwing the fairies out just when the kid/s need them. Yup, never seen that plot device used before nope. And how can rocket fuel destroy magical wands? They’re fairy magic, why are they so easy to ruin??

 How did you find a planetoid when you were heading towards the sun??? I don’t…right, why put logic into things, my bad

 The Glorg. Florgatron-5. Hm…*files that way for layer usage* Bakersfield???

 I loved all the aliens at the restaurant though.

 Over all, this episode was…meh. I didn’t dislike it, but it was a very pointless Dad episode. Seriously, you could’ve had them go to the Planet of the Dads and do pretty much the same thing, but at least keep that storyline going (since I think it’s the longest running one now). I’m unimpressed, but I’m not disappointed. So lets see if the B-story can save the episode as a whole.

Summer Bummer:

 “The looks of psychotic anticipation” lol, well we’re starting off with some good

 Also it’s summer vacation yet again. Mk…this makes it at least the 4th summer vacation Tim’s had, what with School’s Out, Shelf Life, and Microphony being the others I can easily site off the top of my head. So again, these children should be like 14-16 now

 It’s the return of Dad in short-shorts. Oh man, run and hide now.

 Chloe getting a summer internship/scientific program is very her. Must always be learn…wait did she say the corner of a basement?? O.o that’s concerning child…

 Oh hey that pink clad teacher is from s1 I think. Wasn’t she in Timvisible at the water cooler?? That is a very nice and wow throwback guys. Major points to you.

 Chloe is 10 and a half???? So she actually IS a year younger than Timmy, since he was already 10 when he had his birthday (and we ignore the previous like 5 birthdays he’s had >>) and they share a birthday…but wait, your birthday is in March…summer vacation starts in June/July, that isn’t 6 months later…ok so on the one hand, your math is all wrong, but on the other my headcanon that Chloe is a year younger seems to be proven fact. I don’t know what to do with this information!!

 Oh this is the sleep wishing episode I heard about! Wow took a while for the plot to show up…but you know, even though this has been used before, I feel like this is being used in a different context and for a different character, so I’m allowing the reuse of the plot idea. Let’s see how twisted up Chloe’s subconscious is…

 “Gender neutral Jesse” is sorta weird…I like the fact that Chloe did play with baby dolls though…

 Timmy you can’t unwish Chloe’s wish! We’ve been over this-we had a whole episode dedicated to it!! URG!! Did they just throw that out because it’s easier for them to just fix each other’s mistakes that way? I mean, if this was the only time, I could buy that since she didn’t *consciously* make this wish, it could be undone by Tim, but the other times they’ve pulled this she’s been in her full faculties. So uhg! You can’t even keep your own continuity you establish in the same season >> (but…you guys have been doing better than expected, so…it’s not *as* negative points as I’d usually give…or maybe it is but you’ve just racked up enough positive ones to be at the standard by now I guess)

 Hey Dr Rip Studwell, long time no see XD and…you made a manscaping joke…wow, I…wow

 And a poop joke…but you have a pirate ship…but still…

 “Took one to the crow’s nest” is that a crotch shot joke? Wow this episode is just…wow

 Omr the mini shoulder Chloes are adorable! I love valley girl!Chloe and german science!Chloe. Didn’t like the second poop joke in a minute, especially since Dad really *shouldn’t* have heard science!Chloe say that…

 She wished the doll big again…I think Chloe’s repressed feelings are about not wanting to grow up

 And look Da Rules FINALLY decide to kick…oh no, Chloe wished it to be unwishable...yeah, because that’s the only way to stop Tim from fixing it >> and yet at the same time, he did wish the monster to stay until he stopped lying about who set Chompy free, so…formula…

 “There’s free ice cream all over the street! It’s like delicious roadkill!” ok that is the best line ever

 Wait, you’re wishing yourself into Chloe’s mind?? Because that worked so well when you went into your own…and why does it remind me of Mabel’s dreamworld/mind? I expected less pink, more purple honestly. Preschool!Chloe is so adorable!! Totally called the plot though, not that it’s hard.

 Cosmo confirmed as queer, because even when he thought Wanda was “Weird Dude” he still had a crush on him. Wow, I am floored they did that, good for you

 And we end it by promoting cannibalism? Oh wait no; we scratch the 4th wall instead. Ahha. Yeah. You totally missed the opportunity to have “Kids just being Kids” playing somewhere-possibly remixed-because I feel the message suited Chloe’s mentality too right now.

 Over all, I’m glad it was Chloe centric but…I feel like this could’be been done in half the time maybe? They ignore their own continuity, but they do tackle real stuff in a minimal magical way. I guess like the A-story, I’m unimpressed but not disappointed. I feel like both of these should not have been paired together because as a whole the entire episode is lacking; they both needed a stronger story to counter balance them. It’s a good watch once through, but I doubt it’s an episode you’ll want to rewatch.

Dimmsdale’s Got Tallent:

 Ok…I feel like this plot has been used before…and not necessarily thinking Fairy Idol either, but I just can’t place which episode I’m thin king of…

 TOOTIE!!!! THEY DIDN’T SHIP YOU OFF TO BOARDING SCHOOL OR WHATEVER!! OMR!!! Sadly you were just a backgrounder cameo, but still…now I just need to find Francis then my main favs will have all appeared to be not dead (*spoiler: Francis does not appear anywhere*)

 More Bickles…huh…

 Mom’s stage name is “Madame Sasha”…is that a hint that her first name is Sasha?? Most times when you make up “magic names” they’re either your real name in between “the” and “magnificent” or they’re some super exotic/fake/fantastical sounding thing like how Dad was “Dadracadabra”

 And more about Chloe’s one-woman show. That’s so neat that this is something that they’re developing for her, instead of using as a toss away one shot gag.

 Kevin!! Dressed as a dummy for a comedy act lol. It’s an old and over used plot idea, but I’ll run with it. I like it. Cause Crocker now has 24 hour access to a child, he of course has to think of other ways to use it. “I’m telling my mom you made me do this” because that is Denzel’s sister so it is a legitimate threat…though you’d think Dolores would object to this too…why have we not had any interaction of Kevin with his grandmother yet??? I’d love to see Denzel get jealous over the attention his mother is giving Kevin that he never received

 Haha Dad stealing Chloe’s idea, and still breaking the gender norms, nice. Where did Bickles get the coconut bikini top and grass skirt though?

 Oh baaaaaad lesson to be teaching kids there guys. If the authority figure won’t give you want you want, you shouldn’t do them favors to try to bribe them into giving it to. Especially in the entertainment industry. That’s how bad situations happen….

 Um those remote control tap shoes shouldn’t work because they would be helping Tim to win a competition, which is against Da Rules…not that Da Rules seem to matter anymore…

 Ok Mom, you claimed to be a “Pet Psycho” yet you’re using only wild/non-pet animals. I think that’s probably the easiest way to point out that you’re doing this wrong

 “I love me some snake and mongoose” ok…lets go see if that’s a euphemism on google…hm, nope, just a drag racing movie. That’s nice…wasn’t Bickles a race car driver at some point??

 Doug Dimmadome returns! And “curious life partner”??? the Mayor and Chompy are a thing??? O.o???

 Good boy Kevin, stand up to Crocker ^^

 “That was a Dimma-dud” so simple and stupid, but probably the most fulfilling line thus far ^^;

 love Chloe’s gold gown

 ok I lied, “Dimma-dope” is now the most fulfilling line in this

 heehee Dudley Puppy and Crimson Chin balloons in the parade. So headcanoning that TUFF Puppy was a show on tv in FOPverse

 so this episode was….well just really pointless filler too. We got like minimal focus on any of our main characters. Have they forgotten how to write Timmy and Chloe?

 Together these two (this was paired with Knitt-witts)  were not a good match. Both were pointless filler with not a strong plot in either of them. Too many guest cameos, no character development. It was just barely enjoyable enough to not hate it, but just barely honestly. Weak episode all around.

Goldie Crocks and the three Fair Bears:

 Ok I’ve been looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears since the episode titles were released.

 Interesting to see the Squirrely Scout troop back again, still the same B-team line up including Chloe. Thought you already had that patch…but then again that could’ve been with the A-team troop lineup, so…the records were all destroyed when it was disbanded maybe?

 Thanks Tim, we all were asking that. But how does using Mom’s shampoo make your hair blonde? Luscious and even longer I could buy without complaint, but blonde??

 More over achieving Chloe lol (poor girl is gonna crash when she burns out). But wow, she fought King Neptuna…so why didn’t he remember her? Is Supergal now enemy to the merfolk??? Though that plays into the Merfolk vs Glamazons wouldn’t it…

 And now we turn into the clichéd camping storyline where Character A decides to go use non-wilderness to camp in luxury. But Tim, you used to like camping??? Also, still not seeing how the episode title plays into this plot yet…

 Cosmo has been right/made sense on more than one occasion though, why is it that surprising?

 Ok now we get the title…Crocker’s mother has a cabin in the woods? Buyable, sure. Crocker somehow brought the Fair Bears back into reality??? Uh…what now? Wait, they weren’t sent back to TVLand?? And Crocker knows all about their origin?? HOW does that not break Da Rules huh? Is it because he doesn’t know who wished them up, so it’s not against Da Rules?? Why wouldn’t they tell him that; wouldn’t that be a fair thing to do?? He’s in a blonde wig because they’re going to be Goldielocks at a theme park, yeah sure, ok I can buy that. But HOW did he get the bears in the first place???

 And Dad is blonde to be Goldielocks…wow…

 Chloe breaking the 4th wall a little there

 Gah even more middle names! Chloe how many do you even have????

 NO! YOU CAN’T UNDO THE OTHER’S WISHES! URGH!!! You established this rule right off the bat, yet you keep breaking it and they let you keep breaking it. Timmy wished for the camping stuff-Chloe should not be able to wish it away. Yes the plot is stalled, but really, what is the plot at this point??? If you’re only going to enforce the rules when it suits you, well, anarchy for all then please

 And you wished away the magic…yeah, that’s going to go super well

 “Mr Crocker’s unsightly twin sister” ok on the one hand, that works because of Kevin granted (even though she’s not a twin persay, but he has suddenly got a sister), but on the other…this is all saying that guys can’t have long hair and I don’t like that. I love guys with long hair. Between that comment on Crocker, and the comments earlier about Dad, why is long hair automatically girl now?

 Dolores dated Shaggy??? O.o i…I am very unnerved by that…wasn’t she already a full blown adult with a 10 year old child when Shaggy was a teenager roaming in the van with the Mystery Inc crew?? O.o

 Omr yes. Referencing the “original German version” as a darker one. Talking about basting and eating people. This turned dark super fast and I love that. why TrollLOL’s face is on the oven idk, but I’m rolling with it because I love this part.

 “I’ve already got 2 strikes from the school board” uh…yeah that’s the wrong side of dark I think…but it’s Crocker, it was probably the fork in Waxelplax’s fanny, and the flour incident or something fairly similar.

 Yes Tim, yell at Chloe that this is all her fault. We know it is, but pointing it out won’t help. But it totally is; you wished for no magic and you got into trouble-not surprising.

 HOW is it nearly midnight??? It was like, what, noon at the latest when this started?? You have not been out in the woods-in the daylight-for 12 hours-of daylight. Chloe hunny, you’re the smart one, why are you failing telling time??? I know its dark outside the house now, but it wasn’t in the scene before. Cosmo I think your clock is right. And how is “poof us out of here” bring you to a spot where it is, once again daylight; that seemed to suggest instant teleporting so you’re at the same time. Unless this next scene is a cut away to hours later BUT STILL! It should not be midnight.

 Oh Dad, yes, I’m sure no one cares about your troop anymore.

 “let’s send the Fair Bears back” uh you should have done that the first time and this whole mess would have been avoided. It’s like leaving the door to the comic book world open all over again.

 And yes, cause unnecessary harm to Crocker, why not. Not to mention all the innocent patrons at the theme park…

 Also why has no one mentioned Dimmsdale had a theme park before now?

 All in all, not a good episode. I was looking forward to the return of the Fair Bears, and it felt like they weren’t even in half of the episode. The rest was another boring camping storyline, which these two seem to do a lot of huh?

 Paired with Fancy Schmancy, as the production order says, I think the whole 30 min episode is completely weak and not great. This one was bad, the other was filler, so together they are just not meshing well at all.