#These are the sort of things we figure out later
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David Gaider on Zevran, under a cut for length:
"I was going to skip over Zevran, honestly, as I felt like I didn't have a lot to tell in the way of stories about him... but I know he still has some (ardent) fans. Plus, on reflection, I thought maybe I DO have a few things to say. 😅 Sooo we'll see how this goes. Zevran came along much later in the DAO process, as we were trying to round out the cast of party members. Alistair and Morrigan were well underway (as "main" characters, they were concepted very early) and I'd just started to consider who our Rogue followers might be when... things changed, a bit. See, BioWare had released a game not long beforehand called Jade Empire. It had included some same-sex options in its romances - not obscured like the way Juhani's "romance" had been hinted at in KotOR, but explicit. To this day, I have no idea who on the Jade Empire team was behind it, or why. More to the point, the same-sex options had received a lot of attention and praise - almost universal praise, in fact. In 2005, everyone was just pleasantly surprised. And I don't recall if I went to James and asked about it or if he came to me to suggest DAO should include it. The latter, I think."
"You might ask "Aren't you gay, Dave? Weren't you already pushing for this?" And the answer to that is, emphatically, "no, not at all". It might seem odd looking through the lens of 2024, but there was no talk of 'representation' or 'diversity'. Not at any level where we were aware of it, anyhow. Today, fans argue about how MUCH representation to include and whether it's done well enough... the idea that, less than twenty years ago, it being included *at all* was very much in doubt feels so far away. But, back then, I'd always assumed my private life and my work in games would never meet. So I think it was James who brought it up, because I remember being startled. Pleasantly so, of course. Now I had to look at our two rogues and figure out how this would apply. I sketched out the female of the two (who was taken on by Sheryl Chee) and then looked at the male - he who became Zevran. I'd been reading about the CIA and one thing that stuck with me was how they'd (allegedly) recruit gay men as assassins because they rarely had familial ties. Zevran wasn't going to be gay (bisexuality wasn't a question of representation, but a cost-benefit compromise) but that was the inspiration."
"Then there was the question of how "flamboyantly" I was writing this character, whether that might be too stereotypical? I don't remember how it arose, but I had too many "flamboyant" friends to do anything other than double down. This character was gonna be Zorro the goddamn Gay Blade, that's what. So that's how Zevran happened. Fun, a bit nihilistic, maybe a bit too overtly flirty for today's audience but very confidently *sexual*. Everything I'm not, so I'll admit it was an interesting exploration to dig down and find that voice somewhere inside. He was the anti-Alistair, and I needed that. Casting him was difficult. Caroline always tried to go for authentic accents, when we could, but for some reason this was getting us nowhere. I think back, and I suspect it's because I hadn't yet learned the lesson to not use terms in casting descriptions I thought were universal... but were not. What do I mean by that? Well, there was one write-up that said "drow elf". Now, I know what a drow elf is. It wasn't even important to the description, but the director saw the word "elf", and you know what we got back? A Keebler elf. Like a leprachaun, high and sweet and cutsie. Can you imagine?"
"In this case, I think it was the use of the word "assassin". Combine that with the sorts of roles many Hispanic actors in LA probably are asked to play, and all the auditions we were getting were 150% dark, mean, and gritty. 🫠 So we widened the casting call a bit, and this led us to Jon Curry. I knew Jon wasn't Hispanic, but what I wasn't prepared for when I flew down to meet the DAO actors was that he's this extremely tall, extremely Nordic looking dude who just happened to do the most amazing Antonio Banderas impression. Watching THAT man channel Zevran was... more than a bit surreal. 😅 And he had fun with it. As soon as we gave him the go ahead to play the fun and flirtiness to the hilt, that's exactly what he did. Over the few days where we found Zevran's voice, it totally supplied me with something I could hold in my head when I went back to Edmonton and finished writing him. Zevran was funny enough that the fans liked him. The only part of the reception I thought odd was the occasional comment by a male player who felt "tricked" into having sex with Zevran. "You mean... that part where he invites you to his tent for a sensual massage?" "Yes! I was expecting a massage!" "He literally says the massage is sensual." "Well he wasn't clear enough!" This is where I first came to the conclusion that a certain number of our players just don't know how to people. And that maybe an adjustment to the way we approached the messaging (or massaging lol) of romance was in order. If I could go back, would I change anything? Maybe I'd remind the systems team Zevran should really be able to pick a lock. And maybe not allow him to die. We had no idea we'd need to import these choices into the future - we kinda thought DAO was "one and done". Not so much, as it turned out. 😁"
[source thread]
David Gaider: "there's something to be said about how Zevran flirted and even had sex with you because he thought that's all he had to offer... not just you, but anyone. And when he realized you wanted something deeper, suddenly he was on unsteady ground and it truly unsettled him. It was fun to explore." [source]
User: "So David - besides loving the fact that the third image you picked is a gay sex scene - what happened in DA2(DAE - come on) with Zevrans design?" David Gaider: "Check the ALT text. It wasn’t a custom sculpt, so that’s as close as they could get it. Which… was not close." [source]
User: "Just to make sure I fully understand: the director (was it the voice director?) saw the word "elf" and thought you were looking for someone high, sweet, and cutesie?" David Gaider: "Yeah, this was from back before we managed VO in-house. The voice director in this case just didn’t have an association with “elf” like some familiar with fantasy would." [source]
#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#jade empire#lgbtq#alistair theirin#fav warden#morrigan#queen of my heart
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Reader teaches Alastor how to fist bump
Reader: yeah so I make a fist and you make a fist and we bump them together like this
Reader bumps their own fists together*
Alastor: what exactly is the point of this activity?
Reader: it's sort like a more casual version of a handshake. You can greet people and show you agree on things or are like sort of on the same page
Alastor: hmmmm... interesting
Later*
Reader: look Alastor I really don't have the energy to do the dishes today. You do this for me just this once and I'll owe you one
Alastor: of course!
Alastor holds out his fist*
Reader super proud: Alastor! You did it!
Reader fist bumps Alastor*
Green sparks fly out from their fists and a blast of energy shoots out through the room*
Reader: Alastor.... did we just make a deal?
Alastor: you said it was another form of handshake
Reader: Alastor! What did you do!?!
Alastor: just took you up on your deal. I do the dishes for you today and you owe me one
Reader: owe you WHAT?!?
Alastor: well you didn't specify so I figured I could take what I wanted
Reader: my soul?
Alastor: ....maybe
Reader: FOR DISHES!?!
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There's absolutely no denying that the star of this scene is Edward Herrmann as Steve Newsom, and the purpose of this is not to detract from one of the most haunting and devastating scene within the entire series. I just noticed a few things and need to put them down somewhere.
Hawkeye and BJ came in to the tent ready to yell and let Newsom have it. Their immediate and gut reactions were that he had abandoned his responsibility. Potter and Charles have already spent an undisclosed amount of time with Newsom on the floor, and while maybe not understanding or knowing all the details - are both already visibly upset. It's telling that Hawkeye and BJ, the ones in the camp that everyone seems to look at to set some sort of example, are the ones that get down on Newsom's level to try to figure out what's going on - and how they can help.
It feels like Hawkeye starts to piece it together a bit quicker than BJ does. That whatever happened is bigger than just choosing to abandon any and all responsibilities. When Newsom looks back and forth between them immediately, Hawkeye's face doesn't change - like he's waiting for Newsom to spill. BJ, gives him a reassuring smile. This feels very indicative of how the two of them generally seem to approach issues and/or problems. Hawkeye doesn't want to dance around the issue - just put it out there and let's figure it out. BJ wants to make everyone comfortable and calm - and then we'll figure it out.
And when Newsom starts talking about how the blood won't come off, no matter what, this is the moment that I think blatantly divides where Hawkeye and BJ truly are in regards to their journey of acceptance or denial about being where they are - and ultimately what will become of them. BJ looks stunned to hear what Newsom is saying. Like he almost can't wrap his head around it, and he looks over at (assuming) is Potter's direction. Someone in a position of leadership and authority to validate what he is hearing, and he looks back at Newsom and still looks stunned. We learn later that BJ is even a bit confused and can't make sense of it because "he was as strong as any of us." And on the flip side, Hawkeye just hangs his head. He gets it. Where BJ needed validation or confirmation that what Newsom was saying could make sense - Hawkeye got validation and confirmation that not one of them are immune to this exact same thing. Not one of them is safe from the destruction happening around them. Physically, emotionally or mentally.
And then Hawkeye looks at BJ, and it feels like he's trying to telepathically ask him "do you get it?" Or "are you listening and not just hearing?" There's multiple instances where BJ has to learn some sort of lesson (BJ Papa San), and Hawkeye patiently waits for BJ to get it. This feels exactly like those moments. BJ very briefly glances up at Hawkeye, but Hawkeye isn't looking over at him anymore but back to Newsom. For as independent as the two of them are, for as different as they are, the fact that they (even for a nanosecond) look to one another to try to gauge what the other person is thinking, and how they are processing all of this - really says a lot about the foundation of whatever their relationship is or isn't.
The scene then ends with a smack to both of their faces at the severity of what they're dealing with. When Potter tells them that they should call Sidney because it's "a little out of our ballpark," they both look like they can't believe that's the solution. That surely there must be something else that they themselves can do. They both look like they are trying to rationalize and figure out what that ultimately means not just for Newsom, but themselves or others as well.
And then we have confirmation that Hawkeye was essentially associating everything happening to Newsom to what if it happened to him, or BJ, or Charles, or Potter - or anyone close to him. Hawkeye got it. By the sheer fact that he has been at this longer than BJ, Hawkeye saw the bigger picture while BJ is still collecting the pieces. BJ is still clinging to the idea that he will leave Korea no worse than he arrived, even though he's already admitted to being angry and generally is very different than when he arrived. Denial is a scary thing.
Anyway, the point I'm failing to make is that you can watch, in real time, Hawkeye and BJ be provided the exact same example of what could happen to them - and both of them process it and interpret it vastly different - because of where they are in their individual journeys of accepting where they are and what they're doing there.
One of the great things this show repeatedly does, is remind the viewers that no two experiences are ever alike. It doesn't matter if two individuals see the exact same situation unfold in front of them, together. Personal experiences help create framework for interpretation, and who better to demonstrate this than two characters who get along extremely well - but at the end of the day are very very different.
#analysis#heal thyself#i may delete this one later because im not certain it makes sense to anyone but me
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⚠️Emma May & Ciphertology⚠️
-Backpacking off of my theory from yesterday!! Very long text post incoming-
I’m of the mind where not only do I believe Emma May’s family was in a cult, but that they continued to practice its teachings after being disbanded. From here this is just my own personal ramblings as I have a very long and personal take on Emma May and Fiddleford’s lives and history as a whole and separately. Today will be dedicated to Em’s side (ft her families designs as well :3 )
Emma May’s father, Dale Dixon, is the older brother of Madeline Dixon- the teenage girl who was one of the first to be swayed by this Silas Birchtree. It’s implied she fell for him in place of her boyfriend at the time, but I choose to believe this was a lingering affection she’d keep for life in her worship.
Being a young man at the birth, peak, and end of Ciphertology already with a wife and children, Dale was too closely wooed by the teachings of Silas and the inter-dimensional being that was Bill Cipher. He was a bit of a cult kiss ass, if you will. He’d be the first to do whatever Silas would suggest or order of the cults people and the man was happy to do it. Be it shaving his head and painting on an eye or attempting to build the portal he had zero qualifications for alongside everyone else.
Naturally after the cult was disbanded and everyone was put into witness protection, while Dale accepted the state relocation for his family (to Virginia) he refused any government aid beyond that. Instead dragging his young family and sister into the woods where he constructed a shabby little home for them. A home where no one would contradict his word and he could continue the teachings of Ciphertology.
Emma May was born only a few short years later. And while her father had already named one of her older brothers as a namesake to his idol, Silas, her mother named her in turn for her secret idol, Emmaline Butternubbins. She knew Dale would never accept the original name, so she did what she could to compromise- it was a cope of sorts. Thelma Lou, Em’s mother, unfortunately has no say in her husbands madness and is slowly being broken down to the cult. While she had some resistance when Em was born it wouldn’t last too terribly long as soon every adult figure in the family believed in Ciphertology.
Growing up in the middle of nowhere Appalachia’s, Emma May didn’t have much outside influence other than the mini cult community her father had created over the years within neighboring people. She knew no different than the madness and basic cult ideas of ‘have as many kids and wives as you want just so we can create more followers’ sort of mindset. The only hiccup was that Emma May was never dumb, she wasn’t so easily swayed by the triangles teachings, she always internally questioned everything- no matter what adult was telling her things she always was left with a feeling of ‘is that really true though?’
She kept such thoughts to herself, assuming she wouldn’t have to actually do anything notable within the cult, she was shocked and horrified when at the age of 15 her father was bringing her before an older man to marry. An older man who already had a handful of wives. She knew even if she was older she wouldn’t want this life, seeing upfront her mothers decay in the cult and the mass of siblings that she had..she didn’t want that. She wanted an education, basic rights, and just? Freedom from this. She didn’t know if the outside world would be different, but at that point she didn’t much care. She wanted out and she needed out fast.
Running away from home before the official marriage ceremony she remains on the run until she makes it to Fredericksburg, VA. A bustling friendly town that otherwise left her feeling like she was in an alien world. She looked straight out of the early 1900s in a wave of hip and groovy late 1960’s styles. While she couldn’t read anymore than simple words she skimmed through the phone book of a nearby cafe, and while unable to find any Dixon outside of her indoctrinated family she found hope in searching for names under her mothers maiden name, ‘Finch’.
Discovering a man in Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, by the name of Benjamin Finch she manages to find her mothers estranged brother. A man her mother was forced to shun and block out the second he expressed concern over her involvement in a cult. Thankfully upon learning who she was he was more than happy to shelter her, albeit he only lived in a trailer as he practically lived in the museum he worked at. Making her way up the East coast, Emma May finds herself in Jersey, her uncle slowly acclimating her to modern life. Teaching her how to read, to write, and most importantly teaching her the reality of the world. Luckily he wasn’t a religious man of any sorts and rooted her in modern thoughts of science, feminism, and other new age ideas of the time.
Once he felt she was ready he let her attend Glass Shard High, getting the education she always wanted despite struggling to understand the basics. This didn’t get her down though as she was determined to graduate someday. Instead she tracks down local nerd and idea enthusiast, Stanford Pines, someone she hardly finds to be ‘a freak’ considering her cultish upbringing was beyond bizarre (plus she learned from an early age to find beauty in the ‘odd’ or ‘weird’) Befriending a young Ford and learning from him she also befriends Stan, someone who was more than willing to help her break out of her docile and dainty shell. Stan’s girlfriend at the time, Carla McCorkle was equally happy to teach her the modern idea of feminine rather than beaten to death old book concepts. Living in Jersey, in short, was slowly thawing her from the confines of her upbringing- developing into the life she always wanted and frankly? She was thriving!
She was also gaining her own beliefs in this time. Such as ‘marriage is stupid’ and ‘having kids is stupid, I’m never going to have them’ sort of mindset. Thanks to her upbringing she swore then and there that she would never have a family of her own. So, that’s what makes her next phase of life particularly ironic.
After the science project incident in senior year between the Pines brothers the friend circle would face a brutal falling out, the only one keeping in touch with everyone being Emma May herself. Stan is kicked out and the brothers aren’t talking, Carla breaks up with Stan and refuses any more connection to the Pines, and Em is left in limbo to comfort and appease everyone whilst ignoring her own feelings about it all. Between the late night girl talks with Carla, keeping Ford off the edge, and letting Stan stay with her in the trailer it was only a matter of time before her juggling attempts would fall.
And that’s exactly what happened- after Ford discovers she’s been harboring Stan he can’t help the rush of anger, insecurity, and betrayal that someone he considered his only friend left to hide that from him. Also afraid of losing a friend who’s done so much for her in her cult unlearning she’s quick to prove her loyalty. Packing her bags after graduation she joins Ford to Backupsmore to continue supporting him, taking up a diner job beside campus and shacking up in a cheap apartment. She continues secretly offering Stan money when she can as she still feels guilt for her decision, but it becomes less frequent as she’s now supporting herself financially on her own.
But of course her sole company of Ford wouldn’t last forever. Especially when all she tends to hear from him is how cool his roommate is and how’s he’s thrilled to be around another intellectual mind for once. And while he was hesitant to introduce his two friends to one another it was quick history after that-
Em absolutely deals with a lot of survivors guilt and general fear (lots of ‘I can’t believe I left my younger siblings behind, what if thEY were forced to marry that man in my place?!’ and ‘what if the cult tracks me down and forces me back home?!’) and on top of that I already feel she’s got some religious based ptsd and some bpd in there as well, but I think that would make her more endeared to Fiddleford when they first meet. A man who was pretty open about his own anxiety and ocd (idk if that’s a popular hc, but him having ocd makes so much sense to me) definitely helped her understand herself better and the two of them absolutely developed ways to help one another with it. They become each other’s safe spaces essentially <3
I feel like all of this is something I could talk about for hOURS, but I feel I’ve already typed up enough for today. So take this all as you will :) it’s just been super fun rewriting the story I had for her. I always envisioned her to be a teen runaway and living with her estranged uncle in Jersey, but now it makes even more sense plugging in my cult theory. But anywho, I hope this was an enjoyable for y’all to read as it was for me to type
#gravity falls#the book of bill#book of bill#gravity falls fandom#emma may dixon#gravity falls fanart#fiddleford mcgucket#ford pines#bill cipher#stan pines#carla mccorkle#ciphertology#gravity falls theory#gravity falls thoughts#young fiddleford#gravity falls oc#oc#fanart
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Both Rowan and I had a multiple phases of the ship happening.
For me, I really like characters who speak with Elizabeathan grammar. I just find it fun to listen to and stuff. So I pop in with my generic MMO character and Urianger goes off with his "thees" and "thous" and I'm just, "Oh I like him!" and leave it at that.
Then he shows up in a veil Post-Dragonsong War and I'm like, "Well, I guess I like GNC men more than I thought."
Then he Careless Whispers down the stairs in the Bookman's Shelves and I'm like, "UHH I guess I am going to read some fanfic now. Wowzers." Then after reading the fanfic I wanted to write my own and here we are today.
For Rowan... she always liked Urianger's voice and found him handsome when he showed his face. She may have had some vague romantic inclinations Post-ARR that get really jumbled when Moenbryda shows up and put on hold after she dies. I think the moment that she reconsiders a romantic connection with him is after the Warriors of Darkness fight. She doesn't really know how to initiate that sort of thing with him and leaves for Doma and it's just a slowburn situation until he starts it on the first.
Bonus: Urianger found Rowan pretty and a wonderful person since they first met but didn't seriously consider that Rowan would want a relationship with him until she hugs him on the dock in Limsa. Then he has that to think about for the months without her there. He wanted to actually initiate their courtship around Prelude in Violet but got called to the First before he could!
Bonus Bonus: For Wuk Lamat and Khaliun it was when I took a walk before the first dungeon in Dawntrail. I realized that I would have a better time in the story if I had someone to be invested in her and I'd been wanting to give Khaliun more of a spotlight, so carrot on a stick for me! Wuk Lamat is the one who initiates in Sharlyan, but Khaliun figures out she wants more later in Dawntrail.
Bonus Bonus Bonus: After thinking about how Wuk Lamat and Khaliun would get along, I also thought that Khaliun and Lyse would get along as well. They pretty much hit it off right away in ARR with a casual relationship. They kind of get rocky throughout Stormblood, alas.
fellow wol x npc shippers- If applicable, what was the "oh" moment for you and your oc falling for their love interest? Was yours seperate from your WoL's?
#yay ship stuff!#got me out of my funk :D#aether and anatomy#rowan argentas#urianger#urianger x wol#khaliun kahkol#wol x wuk lamat#i tried to be vague with the wuk lamat ship#and to be fair there's a lot more to develop with those two anyways
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#oc#rhelicha realm#my art#Sifao#And her spouse#the jellyfish#Do not have a name for it yet#Do not know why they are married#These are the sort of things we figure out later
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Good news: after a lot of weeks, my air conditioner is fixed!! Also good news: I caught an error in the software at work that was impacting both contractor pay and customer invoicing! Bad news: going through large amounts of data loosely falls under the purview of the department I am now sort of in charge of, which meant my department (which is me and two other people) had to individually open every single order from [specific subset of customers] since the beginning of the year to manually check if either error had occurred. Hundreds of orders, even with a few different criteria we could use to narrow it down. It's done though! I mean the error is not fixed but previous instances of it causing problems are caught and now that we know it exists we can catch future problems before they are invoiced/paid out I have done zero crafting today and I honestly doubt I will get any done lol
#the person behind the yarn#tj talks about work#I am sort of in charge of a department now?#that department is basically data entry/admin#in that my previous job title used to handle contractors and contractor paperwork#but they were not doing as much scheduling because so much time was spent on paperwork#so as a trial run they had me take over doing all the paperwork for two other [job title] as well as my own#which is not hard for me. I've been processing this exact kind of paperwork at one job or another for over a decade#and that helped a lot so they switched things around gave me less contractors#and hired two more people to handle paperwork and a few other data crunch-y office tasks#and I trained them both? and have the ability to assign them tasks and declare things to be part of my department's job#so I am sort of de facto the head of our little department#which is very funny to me because in my previous job a few years back I was the head of the bookkeeping department#because the entire department was me#it was a difficult department to keep on task but I managed lol#more seriously the two people with me in the paperwork department now are absolutely great#they are super nice and we work really well together#we had a conference call between the three of us with a screenshare while I figured out how to fix one of their IT problems#unrelated to the other problem I caught later in the day
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#black sails#madi bs#john silver#silvermadi#(i mean. sort of.)#we love seeing relationships fall apart am i right?#we love characters fundamentally misunderstanding each other to their mutual detriment#(we actually don't because it's very sad)#i had decided not to post this because the song overall doesn't necessarily fit their relationship#but 1) i'm allowed to take things out of context (it's sexy. actually)#and 2) there's an argument to be made that it COULD apply to TI-era silvermadi if we imagine that (oof) they stayed together#anyways - i'm still very fond of this edit - i think it's really good which is why i'm sharing it!#i'm not actually 'back' - was just gonna post my fic later anyway - so i figured why not give y'all this too!#be back in an hour or so with the fic!
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Realizing that I would come back to performing full-time for one (1) reason and one (1) reason only: if someone could guarantee that I would get to do one of those interviews where you just play with a bunch of kittens while people attempt to ask you questions.
#there'd also probably have to be some sort of stipulation in there like if I ever play a character with a romance plot it has to be with#an evil older lady but we could work out the details later#(the last thing I did before covid I played opposite this guy I did NOT get along with and it was actually the worst fucking thing like#regardless of whether or not I even go back to doing this as a hobby for fun at some point I am NOT doing that again lmao)#don't mind me I'm just. once again trying to figure out what to do with my life and (probably inevitably) my thoughts went to 'what would#it take for me to go back to performing' since. you know. for better or worse that's the thing I have training and some degree of personal#experience in.
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read the scratch upd8. little too close to home
#tw vent#in tags at least#when i was reading hs like 3 ish years ago i related a lot to vriska and terezi cause i was in what i think was a really destructive#friendship qpp thing with my best friend online and a boy who liked both of us but mostly her.i was incredibly isolated irl as was my friend#and all my other online friends. i really should have seen that something bad could happen but i didnt and i got into a really deep#depression for like 3 months after but. my dearest friend girl decided to start befriending a 30 yo man and i. like an idiot. followed her#like a lovesick puppy even though all the warning bells were going off. we were in a gc with him that we texted in at all times of the day &#night and we shared selfies and dreams and our daily problems with isolation or hw or whatever. he got more and more creepy and my dearest#friend lashed out at him because she was scared while i sort of stopped talking as much because i was scared but. he still talked to me lots#in dms. he talked shit about the authority figures in our lives and isolated us from our ither online friends he made creepy picrews of me &#my friend getting married and he talked about moving in with us one day. we blocked him but sometimes he still tries to contact me. after it#blew up my friend left me and discord which is probably best and after my depression time i eventually got an irl friend or two but. i never#got over it. he did it to other people too we found out later. he always complimented me on being so sharp and talented and it was nice caus#it was really my first compliment from an adult who wasnt my family and. ig it got to my 14 yo head. anyways. the update made me cry. i had#read that it was bad and knew it would be bad for me specifically cause doc scratch always reminds me of that time in my life but. i didnt#think it would be that bad. i dont blame hs2 creators or anyone else and ig im glad i braved the storm but it was really painful to read#gonna go watch a more light hearted thing now.#if anyone sees this dw ill get over it#anyways. believe the warnings this update is very triggering and you can skip it if you want#glad i have like 5 followers rip
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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i dont knowwwwwwwwwww i just. my thing is that i think the changelings could have an interesting place in the narrative given jims whole conflict is about trying to navigate his place in two worlds neither of which he completely fits in but both of which he needs to be his complete and authentic self. but they shoot themselves in the foot by making strickler the main one and they get sooooo close to doing this with nomura before getting bored and doing it again but worse with strickler. so in my mind i think this is why i was so set on addy being a changeling because i want her to fill that narrative role of someone who's ACTUALLY chill about this dichotomy and who really loves this part of herself without the baggage inherent to nomnoms situation (not acknowledging strickler he did most of that to himself). i just think he needs someone who can show him that its actually genuinely very possible to have both halves of his heart especially post-potion. but man. you cant really get there without dancing around the janus order stuff. and i know if she was real it would just be a cheap lampshade like "welllll shes a polymorph so. no familiar no problem" but that opens up a can of worms that i feel responsible for. and just in general the entire thing has so much baggage. i wish this show was GOOD.
#like i like the concept that the changelings were troll babies tortured with dark magic i think for me it justifies arrghs fondness for her#because hes in an extremely similar situation and i think him watching it happen under his command would be enough for him to say hm. i can#do this anymore goodbye. and i like those kinds of dynamics a lot#so i feel like you can just take that aspect and run with it#instead of the familiars give them some sort or mild innate mental magic? so they can write their identities into peoples lives#so you can still get that sense of like. an invader where its not supposed to be#without having to touch goblin baby kidnapping#'but that ruins the whole plot with claire' idgaf figure it out. i would do somwthing wlse with that anyways#they retroactively imply claires magic is innate later on in wizards anyways#so if youre gonna do that just make her brother also have it in some way which would make him a valuable asset if noticed by someone like#strickler. make it smt with the bridge or some other thing where they neeeeeeeed a magic user and itd be too risky to like. kidnap a studen#so they cant take claire. or nobodys noticed she has powers yet#make it so the baby goes missing and nobody seems to remember him at all EXCEPT claire#bcz strickler mind powers. which tangent but u can also use later for his thing w jims mom#and makes the whole 'we have to erase her memories of him' less convoluted bullshit#anyways back on track. just have the baby at the bridge ceremony for magic power reasons and in the conflict smth grabs him and takes him#thru the portal in the hopes of opening the bridge frm the other side#anyways.tthey had options is all im saying and they chose to do it in the worst way possible#just scrap the janus order im not touching that#it was so fucking pointless anyways. they didnt DO anything not one single thing
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Speed Ran through Mario Galaxy 2 Yesterday while sick because I couldn't remember why I disliked it so much and wanted to see if that was just younger me being biased. It was not.
But I regained my love for Lubba and Dino Piranha, so that's something at least.
#Emile's Arts#Sorry Galaxy 2 fans I am not one of you#I like the ending scene better than 1's at least#Headcanon that Rosalina fills the Mario Bros with a very profound sadness when she's near us#And none of us know why#I can't decide if it's memories from the past future seeping through the holes of reality and still reaching us#Or if her magic naturally projects her emotions and old blurry memories onto those around her#I like the idea of the second one and it being something she was born with#Because currently I write Rosalina very Emotionless Autistic#She feels obviously she has a big heart full of love and sorrow and stuff but she doesn't show it often#But her natural magic sort of bleeds that onto people around her so everyone always knows how she's feeling#I think that's neat#but either works still the flow of time isn't real so we could be getting memories of things that haven't happened yet#Anyway#Dino Piranha my baby puppy dog I have no idea if that'll stick but I do really love him#My S/I does NOT go into space during Galaxy unless he's like. In Peach's Castle when it happens#So actually he might but proooooooobably not?#I'll figure it out later#I'm mashing Galaxy 1 and 2 together into one thing because they're basically the same game#Just Galaxy 1 has a story and Galaxy 2 has Lubba my beloved#And Prince Luma wearing Mario's hat that is SUPER important to me as well. Mario canonically got his hat snatched by a star baby#Amazing
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there are two kinds of people: my gf & her mother, relaxing on the beach as the sun comes up, and me, standing 20 feet away circling some sort of decaying corpse/skeleton for 2 hours trying to figure out what it is
#i still didnt figure it out by the time we left but i got a lot of pictures so i WILL identify it eventually#the problem is that the parts i CAN identify just dont add up#every time i think ive figured part of it out it just...doesnt fit with the rest of it!!#the part of the skull itself is like bigger than my ribs#like 'okay the top of the skull looks like /blank/'#'but the lower jaw is over there and WAY too small for /blank/'#'so the jaw looks like /other thing/'#'but the spine is way too big for /other blank/'#i might post pics later#obvs under a cut and tagged accordingly#but yea i spent the entirety of our morning on the beach today just circling and staring at some sort of dead animal#surprisingly didnt smell too bad tho
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i wanna be into comics so bad but at a certain point, after starting and stopping so many comics so many times, i may have to admit that i am just not a comics guy
#like i’m INTERESTED in them in THEORY#anytime i’ve tried to keep up with something i’ve eventually fallen off#and pretty much anytime i’ve tried to read older/existing stuff i’ve just stopped after a certain point#like whether online or from the library or what#i get sick of trying to figure out what order to read things in or what i might have missed in between things#and when i’m online i go to long between issues and forget my place lmao#i read a bunch of miles morales way back#before spiderverse ever came out#like starting with his first appearance and going from there and i looked up all the lists of reading order and stuff#but it was so hard to keep up with all the like ultimate universe Events it was crossing over with#i think i got as far as like. something happening with him telling his dad.#but like ik later he’s on teams and stuff and interacts with other young heroes. never got that far lmao.#i forget why i stopped if it was like it switched over to a different run or if i just sort of fell out of it#i did read an ironheart paperback we had at my college library#he was in that for a bit so that was cool#r.txt
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I figured it out
You haven't done shit
I figured it out
#Ignore the chimney. Please.#Originally was just going to put Lewis's room above the garage but I figured it either has skylights or a seperate attic room so that's#definitely Lawrence and Laura's room [the parents' room]#In my layout for the cartoon I had the kitchen on the other side so the garage door was in the kitchen. I make a lot of reference to this#I am going to go back and fix them I swear... Lol#Also I put Lenny's room on the first floor in the back there bc the garden is basically his#I figure he works with plants he likes that sort of thing#I think Lenny is the black sheep of the family in that he hates going out into the ocean and would rather stay on land#Which you know >w> might come into play later#Luke's room is basically a second guest room since he is a history professor at the college in the next town over#But they still keep it furnished and stuff in case he happens to stop by. Which he never does but still#I know the girls houses don't match the og show's designs (except mostly Rikki's) but like... We have 0 idea what his house looks like#This is the best we got! I'm using it!!#We saw Charlotte's house which is so weird to me. Not because I dislike her. I love Charlotte. But because Lewis has been here since s1#We've seen Zane's and Miriam's houses. But specifically we never see Lewis's. It is weird to me#It's just like Bella. How tf do we see Will's boat shed but not Bella's house????#It just feels off to me. Bella is already an underdeveloped character. Seeing her room even once wouldve really helped establish who she is#Maybe that was the point. They didn't even know who she was meant to be outside the plot :/#Like she could've left some stuff in moving boxes and we could've been like 'she doesn't expect to stay here long no point in unpacking'#She could have photos of all the different places she's been but none of any friends or herself smiling. Just landscapes.#Cutting back to Cleo's room where she has all her photos of her friends framed and stuff#But no! We just see Will's stupid boat shed instead#Smh#Okay I'm sorry I'm not gonna rant abt how they did Bella a huge disservice this time I'm sorry I will NOT#Cruddy rambles
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