#There's really something to be said about how attached you get

[reignpage]

The Other Woman

Pt 1

The doctors and psychologists said it’d be great for your husband’s well-being to be with friends and family. And for the most part, that’s proven true. 

Insisting on welcoming Satoru back properly, his students organised a party and invited anyone who had a remote connection with their teacher. Even Nanami had taken time off from work to be here and had given a polite pat on his shoulder and a genuine greeting. 

That brought a huge smile to the white-haired man who pounced on the poor guy without remorse, giggling about how he knew he ‘always liked him really’. It felt great to watch him be surrounded by and showered with so much love and support, the kind he deserves; you could tell it was bringing life back to him. After all, it must have been painful for him to have been cooped up in the house trying to reconcile his new reality with the one he remembers. 

You keep reminding yourself of that. 

Satoru needs this. 

He needs normalcy. The normal he remembers, the normal he went to sleep thinking about and not the one he had suddenly woken up to, years passing him by. 

Everyone knows this. He knows this. Just as you do. 

So why is every person in the party sneaking you pitying and concerned glances?

Sure, no one could possibly think this is easy for you, to be the stranger that Satoru still gets surprised to see in the morning. The one he hesitates to say goodnight to, unsure of the boundaries, the etiquette, the right thing to do. He sometimes forgets to text you if he’s going out, shocked and annoyed, you’re sure, to see the many missed calls and messages from you. And you know he studies the picture frames all over your house like a textbook that would give him all the answer he needs.

All he gets, you’re willing to bet, is the realisation that you’re both the tether he needs to keep grounded, that guides him through the sea of memories he cannot touch, and the leash that binds him to a role he doesn’t remember signing up for. 

Are they looking at you with worry because of the inevitable toll this sudden shift has taken on your mental health or because your husband is talking to his ex-girlfriend the way he used to talk to you?

It can’t be the latter, right?

Because there’s nothing to be worried about. 

Satoru is simply catching up, trying to stitch up the crater-sized hole in his memory with a familiar face. There’s no reason for your hand to shake as you sip your drink or for your eyes to keep darting back over to them, sat alone at a table like they’re the only people in here. 

He’s laughing, throwing his head back and making that obnoxious cackle you love to hear. Loved. Because this one isn’t for you. It’s for her. The woman he shouldn’t be near, the woman he shouldn’t even think about, shouldn’t let touch his arm. 

You’re the wife. 

You’ve got the ring to prove it. 

He’s wearing it. Just not on the hand attached to the arm strung over the back of her chair like he’s protecting her from the rest of the world. Hell, maybe he is. Maybe his infinity is on and covering her. But you don’t have it in you to throw something at them to find out. Either result would be just as humiliating as the other. 

There’s nothing to be done. 

You can’t interrupt. 

Because Satoru needs to know what he said goodbye to all those years ago to know what he says ‘hey, pretty lady’ and ‘good morning, gorgeous’ to now. Or used to say. Now, you’re lucky if he even looks at you without shuffling his feet. 

Eventually, the night draws to its natural end. 

People bid their farewells twice, once to him and her, and then to you. Each time breaks your heart even more until you feel it crumble inside, little shards falling to pieces he won’t pick up. She stands before you, a small, shy smile, like she knows what she’s done. And says it’s ‘lovely to meet you’, and of course you can’t say it back. 

Not when you had been introduced by your name, ‘my beautiful wife’ going nowhere near the tip of his tongue as if those words had never been uttered by your husband. And not when she had been introduced in a hastily withdrawn, stuttered freudian slip of hell. 

“This is my girlfr— Sorry, I mean, my friend. From high school. Yeah, high school.”

Satoru blushes, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he waves goodbye to her. And you can tell he finds the act lacklustre, an uninspired, unnatural way to say goodbye to the woman you woke up to and slept beside. 

“Did you have a good time?”

He nods, a soft smile playing on his lip as he casts his gaze across the room, sweeping by the empty hall like he can still see every single person that came. “It was nice to see everyone and catch up.”

You’re thankful he doesn’t ask if you enjoyed the evening because you can’t lie to him but you also can’t tell the truth, can’t burden him anymore with the reminder that he doesn’t fill the shoes of your husband, that he continues to stumble with every step, dragging you down with him. 

So, instead, you fill the silence with a question that is so harmless, so normal it slips out before you can even think to anticipate the devastating crack that goes through your very soul. 

“Ready to go home?”

Satoru nods.

But he’s looking at a seat in the back. 

A seat that’s probably still warm. A seat you could never fill because you aren’t the woman he thought, hoped, he would marry. 

You’re just the woman he did. 

[beforetimes]

planning a modern/fame timebomb au in my head where jinx is a celebrity recovering from addiction after a public meltdown who's lost contact with most of the people she knew when pre-breakdown/pre-fame. and in completing her recovery program she reaches out to ekko to offer a direct apology for anything she might have said/might have happened in the depths of her addiction, but doesn't hear back from him.

following this she decides to go out and sign up for a program to help at-risk kids like herself—after reflecting in therapy and realizing that a lot of the issues that lead to her being in such a volatile state of mind was because of the lack of support she had in childhood when dealing with losing her family [haven't planned what would work as a stand-in for the powder factory explosion so lets skirt past that for now] she decides that she wants to be that support for other people that she didn't have herself, after spending about a year trying to get better.

basically, she signs up as a volunteer to this big brother/sister-esque outreach program after a few months of anonymously donating to see if she can help someone in person rather than continuing to isolate herself. which is where she meets isha, who immediately imprints on jinx and insists on following her around. and jinx, who is unused to being at the centre of someone's attention without larger expectations that come with her status as a celebrity attached as caveat, starts relaxing by the very nature of her interactions with isha not being as loaded as others. like, this is just a kid! she doesn't know about jinx's issues or how she freaked out and lost it on stage/on a set/made headlines before disappearing from the public eye and ending up here. all isha sees is someone with cool blue hair and nails she wants to try her hand at painting.

after a few months of building a rapport with isha through this community mentor program, jinx accidentally bumps into the last person she really expected to see here—ekko.

ekko is also very surprised to see her here, because the last time he saw her, she was freaking out on him because he wouldn't enable her self-destructive behaviour, their final and most explosive fight resulting in their subsequent falling out where jinx threw a lot of shit back in his face and he did the same and they decided not to contact each other. well, besides jinx's attempt at an apology, but he didn't reply to that.

he sees her here and they both freeze because, like? what do you even do in this situation? they haven't seen each other in a few years at this point, maybe two or three at the most. enough time that it feels so entirely awkward to even try to act like nothing happened while also knowing that it would be equally nerve-grating to try and acknowledge the history between them.

of course, this stand-off is interrupted by isha, who sees jinx frozen in the hall and immediately stomps over to drag her away because they had been working on a painting together that she's been waiting to finish all week.

and jinx eventually relaxes because ekko doesn't say anything and neither does she, even though she wants to know what he's doing here in the first place. but the day ends without any further interactions between the two.

eventually, after asking around, jinx learns that ekko was the one who set the program up a few years prior, a tentative friend in the program telling her that the community didn't really have a lot of resources on hand and that a lot of the program was personally financed by ekko and he did a lot of work to try and uplift the people and community without demanding financial support in return, like most state-funded programs tend to do.

jinx is just, like, in awe of the fact that this childhood friend grew up to do something so great before being overwhelmed with guilt over the fact that she had been so wrapped up in her own world that she hadn't even noticed.

of course, this doesn't really change things because they're still not talking to each other, but weeks pass and jinx feels like they've gotten into a steady pattern of avoiding each other.

what she doesn't know is that ekko has been subtly watching in on her and isha's little hang-out sessions and is just in awe that this girl who had only a few years ago been so unsure of herself and in so much pain had managed to heal to the point of being able to help someone else and make a good positive impact on isha's life in a program he created.

so, after a while, jinx gets a reply on that email she had sent him nearly a year ago where ekko just asks if she wants to meet for lunch. which she replies to, after a lot of back-and-forth, by saying yes absolutely.

and then the romance unfolds further from there, yadda yadda yadda. haven't decided how this will ultimately end or where vi will play a part or anyone else but i thought that the bare bones concept i had in mind was worth posting here.

in my head maybe ekko's second, scar would be a friend who had seen the majority of the fallout and would be warning him away in the background while ekko was sort of caught up in being both happy that jinx seemed to be doing better while also conflicted on whether or not he wanted to forgive her because their last fight was like, super nasty. awful stuff said

maybe if anyone has ideas for how vi / cait / anyone else could be worked in, you can leave that below?? none of this is super set in stone! just rambling. ^_^

[bloggerspam]

Val is angrily pumping a jack to lift a car up when Jay comes running into the garage.

"Val!" She ignores him, unfastening the wheel with rough, jerky movements.

"Val, listen to me—" Jay starts, laying a hand over her shoulder in a bid for her to turn to face him.

She slaps it off, tossing the punctured wheel away with a grunt and a bang. She takes a deep breath.

"You have some nerve," Val shuts her eyes, "to fuck this up so badly."

"He's not answering my texts." Jay paces back and forth behind her, even without seeing it's apparent in the way the air starts shifting abruptly, how his voice travels to her left and right. "I was in the middle of something, a, a family thing and couldn't really answer with a full explanation."

Val focuses on taking deep, calming breaths. She knows that it was a misunderstanding, she does. It was probably a Bat thing, he was probably knee deep in some kind of fight.

"I basically passed out after," Jay continues, pacing and pacing and pacing, "Didn't really fully understand what I sent, I-I—"

That doesn't mean she will play nice when Danny was hurt by it all night, enough to throw himself through the apartment boxes and set everything up, enough to work through the night on that stupid new bike he'll have to build in the Realms, the way it's turning out.

"I texted to, to explain, but he hasn't replied and—"

"Just," Val cuts in, silencing the man and stopping him in his tracks, "shut up."

"I don't know if it was a Red Hood thing," Val starts, voice low and putting up a hand to stave off what no doubt is some kind of exclamation about her knowing, "But if you weren't of sound mind or, I don't fucking know, were in the middle of a shootout—"

"Ninja assassins," Jay breathes out, "I was, uh, getting chased by ninja assassins.."

She pauses, shakes her head.

"If you were in the middle of getting chased by ninja assassins," She growls out, finally facing her wide-eyed boss, "then why didn't you just wait until after to text him back?"

'I…" Jay's face goes that splotchy red again, "I don't…really like to make Danny wait if I can help it."

There's a long silence.

"You're so fucking stupid, are you fucking kidding me?" Val throws up her hands, groaning as she goes to detach the second tire. The angry clanging echoes through the garage.

The garage is actually empty, or she wouldn't have brought up Red Hood at all. The other mechanics went out on lunch, staggering their breaks. Melissa called sick, and there's only a couple cars anyway, light load for a summer day so Val's on her own for another hour.

"Yeah," Jay slumps, flinching when she tosses the old tire with an irritated yell, "Yeah I deserve that."

"He was up all night, unpacking and working on schematics." Val spits out, hefting two new tires up in each arm to attach to the car and finish her up. "His phone was dead, and Sam and Tucker were forcing him to bed when I left an hour ago."

"Okay," Jay breathes out, slow, relieved. "Alright."

"We just got Anita's Mazda, banged up and in need of some TLC." Val tosses a nut at his head. "Work on that, let Danny sleep for a while before you storm our apartment with whatever sappy shit you think will make up for it."

Jay rubs his head, where the nut had hit him, huffing. But he takes off his jacket, heads towards the locker room to no doubt grab some coveralls, mumbling.

"What was that?" Val starts letting the jack down, ready to test the air in the tires.

"I said," Jay pouts, "That we will be talking about the Hood thing later."

Val rolls her eyes. "You are not fucking subtle."

"Red Huntress says what?" Jay snarks, disappearing through the door.

And you know what? That's fair.

Mechanic!Val AU, but make it gay and sapphic.

ya'll can thank the HH discord for this one. Specifically the menace known as @clockwayswrites (and @impyssadobsessions for the art that inspired the damn thing)

Dead on Main and with some future Val/Steph >)

also @belfry-ghost did a doodle for this AU and everyone should go love on his art. Val's so unf.

===

Val’s pretty sure her new boss Jay is actually a crime lord.

She’s pretty sure he’s The Crime Lord, actually. She’s like, 98% sure she works for Red Hood now, and she’s low key mad about it. She squints at the man now, with his white streak and almost imperceptible green sheen to his eyes. 

The problem is that Val did perceive it. Because she used to date a guy whose baby blue eyes changed ever so slightly in the same way. Thinking about Danny makes her even madder.

To be clear, she’s not mad about Red Hood himself. 

She’s just mad that, of all the mechanic shops in all of Crime Alley, she just had to work for her ex-boyfriend’s third place Hall Pass pick. It also makes her miss her friends way more, and Val is hardly what one would call a well-adjusted woman, so she’s mad about it.

She huffs as she lifts the hood of the second car she’s working on today. Being a mechanic wasn’t really on the docket for Val’s life goals, nor was being in Gotham, but she got a full ticket ride on Wayne Foundation scholarships, and honestly? 

Gotham is Amity Park Lite: Gargoyles and Furries Edition. 

Between a full ride to Gotham U and being stuck at Elmerton Community College? The choice was easy. 

So here she is, working for the resident Crime Lord in his civvies. 

Jay pays good, teaches her what she needs to know, and bonus: he sometimes helps with her English Literature class. He’s flexible on hours, and she’s even got rudimentary insurance. 

All in All?  It could be worse—she could still be working for Vlad, after all. 

It's the little things.

[sageworld]

if ur doing req for other players not just paige fans u do the nsfw alphabet but for kk? also congrats on the lesbianism 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

NSFW alphabet • KK Arnold

A • Aftercare

okay so boom, after sex is a lot of small talk, about each others days, how basketballs going for her, how schools going for you. even when you’re super sleepy, falling asleep mid sentence if kks not ready for sleep yet she’ll try and get you to keep talking to her.

B • Body part

YOUR THIGHS, kk is obsessed with them. grabbing one while she drives, rubbing on them while she eats you out, leaving hickies all on them, she can’t get enough.

C • Cum

she prefers cumming in your mouth more than your fingers, thigh, strap or pussy. she loves grabbing on your hair when she’s cumming. same in turn, she loves you cumming in her mouth, dripping all over her face.

D • Dirty secret

okay this isn’t even a secret but kk is so baby. she loves being topped by you, she’s bottom 95% of the time, even when she’s using strap on you, you’ll be riding her and she’s fucking whimper listening to you praise her.

“feels so fuck good baby, you make me feel so good kk.” you moan out, squeezing her tits from above as you ride her strap like no tomorrow. “oh my god kk, i’m gonna cum.” and she’s just a whimpering, moaning, stuttering mess while holding your hips

E • Experience

kks been with her fair share of girls before, she’s had her one nights, serious relationship or two, she knows what she’s doing & even if it’s your first wlw relationship she’s more than willing to help you learn.

F • Favorite position

she’s a ✂️ lover through and through, she likes being on top with this though. she loves watching your smaller body fall apart under her and being able to control the pace.

G • Goofy

pleaseeee this girl is hilarious, if you wanna top her when she wants to top you or vice versa she will straight up “girl boom” you and just start doing whatever she wants, (with consent ofc) making you giggle the whole way through with random little meme references.

“kk you got cum on my dress.” you whined, you guys decided on a quickie before leaving to meet up with friends at the bar, we’ll kk insisted she needed an orgasm or she would be nagging you all night to leave early. “shhh, it’s okay baby girl no one has to know.” she giggles, caressing your face from in between her thighs.

H • Hair

like i said on the paige alphabet, WE DO NOT CARE :P

I • Intimacy

while she can be serious there’s times where she locks in, whispering how much she loves you & couldn’t imagine her life with out you all while your in between her legs, a face full of pussy. she’s be playing with your hair, legs shaking, eyes slammed up with her head thrown back speaking about you like some type of goddess before crumbling apart to your tongue.

J • Jack off

she gets really shy about it but she does it often during her time away, often asking you for a picture of video when she’s gone.

New Message:

Kk<3; baby i know it’s really late for you but i need something.

you already know what she’s referring too, this falling into your regular schedule when she’s gone, you’re surprised she didn’t text sooner actually.

you; give me one second pooks

kk<3; i’ve been thinking about you all day baby, i’m so wet rn.

her words make you shiver, thinking about your poor baby having to take care of herself.

you; i wish you were here baby.

*1 attachment image

K • kink

def has a marking kink, loves seeing you covered in her hickeys, clothes, fuck it shes even gonna put her bonnet on you. she just loves letting others know your hers.

L • location

she loves your room, it’s so cozy and always smells so good. your pillows feel so soft under her head when you ride her strap & your blankets are so warm when you’re all done, naked and wrapped up in them.

M • motivation

one thing that gets her going like nothing else is seeing you in your momo, she loves your granny gowns, the sight of your perky nipples under the fabric knowing all that’s under is a dainty pair of panties.

N • no

you’re not strapping her up, simple as day. she is a bottom but it’s just not for her. she doesn’t like the feeling of it.

O • oral

she’s such a giver, but loves both. the feeling of your nose rubbing against her puffy clit while your tongue fucks her hole has her on a different planet. feeling your squirt fall down her chin? she’s in heaven.

P • pace

when Kk isn’t bottom, she’s fucking the shit out of you, rough and demanding. it’s usually like that when she’s jealous or had a bad day. when she’s bottom it’s slow and sensual, loving and tender.

Q • quickie

she loves them! they help her get through her day. she loves them anywhere, the car, your room, her room, at the bathroom in a party. she can get so needy at any time and just needs it out of her system.

R • risk

while she’s willing to do it just about anywhere somewhat out of view, she does get nervous and prefers doing it in the comfort of privacy. the riskiest you guys ever did was in a target parking lot at night when she ran out of tru fru.

S • stamina

this girl is fucking all night. when she has time she won’t stop. your pussy will be puffy and abused & she won’t stop until you start showing signs of discomfort.

“you alright, mama?” she comes up from between your legs, tears running down your face just seconds ago you crying for her to stop. “s’just too much.” you breath. “oh, im sorry baby.” she puts her face in your neck. “let me clean you up.” she rolls out the bed, going to grab a towel.

T • toy

you guys love your toys!! her favorite to use on you is a strap that has a vibrator for her attached. your favorite to use on her is a small blue vibrator, she doesn’t like anything in her but your fingers and tongue so she always reacts so pretty to it.

U • unfair

when it’s top!kk it’s so different. she’s mean and rough. she’ll edge you for what feels like hours.

“why dont you have your other girlfriend make you cum?” she hovered over your body, three fingers deep in you. “she’s not my girlfriend kk, only you i promise.” it had been at least 30 minutes since you first felt the tightening in your tummy, kks touch was gone as quick as it came. “i don’t know, seemed like it.” she pulled her fingers out, denying your release once again. “kk, please baby.” you whine. “i’ll think about it.” fingers ghosting your clit.

V • volume

she’s so loud, so vocal. she’s not afraid to voice what she wants either which you always appreciated. sometimes when you guys are playing rock paper scissors you find yourself having to cover her mouth because it’s so late and you don’t wanna wake your neighbors.

W • wild card

when you met kk, you guys were one night standing after a sigma kai party but, when you woke up in her bed and tried to sneak out she woke up. offering you a shower, some clothes that weren’t your micro dress and heels and some breakfast in exchange for your number.

X • x-ray

coochie meow meow 😸

Y • yearning

she’s so needy, she always wants you. it can be more than just sexually, she loves skin to skin, the feeling of having you so close always itches that special part in her brain

Z • zzz (sleepy)

yeah no, like in the start she does not wanna go to sleep. she tries to get you to stay up with her and talk. on the rare occasion she is sleepy, she’s fighting it, mumbling out random things to you before eventually falling asleep.

[deadratdonoteat]

Based of the song Casual. Friends with benefits but on if you caught feelings.

Roronoa Zoro x reader

Tags- angst but fluff

W.C= 1.7k

The beating sun brought sweat to my skin. The thin t-shirt I was wearing didn’t cool me off enough. Even the jean shorts weren’t enough. The ship swayed with the waves. “This Sucks,” I complained.

“Shut up, loser!” Nami shouted at the small table we both sat at, “Don't call me that” I glared. She scooped up the few coins on the table into her shirt.

“Well you keep losing, so you're a loser!” She chimed. Sighing, standing up, I began to walk away. “Going to your swordsman?” I could basically hear the smugness of her. Ignoring her I walked to the front deck, where I knew he’d be. And there he was, lifting weights. Leaning on the wooden rail to watch. His muscles flexed as he raised the weight. Sweat shined down his forehead.

“Creep,” he mumbles purposely loud enough for me to hear. I chuckle at his words. A small smile grows on his face.

“You know you love it when I watch you,” I roll my eyes at him. He shrugs his shoulders but you know it's true. Honestly you hoped he loved you. You two were more than friends. Though it was never official, how you two act with each other is more than friends. The countless times you've been alone together, pressed against walls in a flurry of hushed touches and kisses. None of the crew knew that when you and Zoro were alone, you’d basically makeout instead of doing what's needed. Zoro's voice cut me from my thoughts.

“Staring at me like a lover,” he laughed. I guess when I zoned out my eyes stayed on him. Him saying that hurt a little but it was just a joke. I laughed along with him but what he said cut deeper, “We're not together..” He looked away and continued working out. Why would he say that? It’s not like I said we were or tried to argue with his previous statement. Was he purposely trying to hurt me?

-

Zoro and I were left alone to guard the ship. Nami knew what she was doing with leaving us alone. Me and him watched as the crew's figures disappeared. As soon as they were no longer in sight, I turned to ask something but was cut off by the moss head’s lips crashing into mine. My eyes widened. His hand cradled the back of my head, his other hand on my waist. He had never been this needy. Who does he think he is doing this after saying such hurtful things earlier? As he pulled away something in his eyes told me he wanted more. He enjoyed it so why was he denying it?

“No attachments, baby,” He said while walking into the kitchen. I was left alone. My eyes are still wide but not with surprise. Did he really say that? He really said ‘No attachment’ right after pulling me into a kiss? I'm so confused.

-

The crew sat at a restaurant. Luffy demands meat and making Usopp pay. Sitting next to the swordsman like usual. EVeryone would know something was wrong if you didn’t.

“Y/n, open wide,” a deep voice spoke. Turning to look at the green haired man, his fork was right in front of me with a slice of meat on it. I could see Nami’s smile from the corner of my eye. If some stranger saw me and him they’d definitely assume we were a couple. After he fed me the meat, Liffy started asking Zoro to feed him his meat too, which ended with yelling.

After leaving the restaurant with full bellies and Usopp’s empty wallet. The moon shined bright enough to light up the paths.

“I’m headed to get Sake,” Zoro declared, grabbing my arm and heading to some shop. I could hear Sanji call out to keep me safe, but Zoro just scoffed. The small shop smelled awful, probably a smell Zoro loved. At the checkout counter, the old man started small talk.

“What a lovely couple,” he said slowly. He was a small man. Zoro placed what he wanted on the counter, and looked at me expectantly.

“Want me to pay?” He nodded, “Is that why you brought me along,” he nodded again at my question. I thought he wanted company. The cashier cleared his throat. When I was about to answer, Zoro cut me off.

“We're just casual friends,” he claimed. It was weird, he was starting to do too much. The old man just looked at my expression of confusion. I’m sure he knew what was going on.

-

I left the deck to grab drinks for Robin and Nami. As soon as Nami made sure I was gone she turned to the swordsman.

“Alright Zoro, what are your feelings for Y/n?” Nami asked with frustration, she was tired of seeing her close girl friend be sad over a guy. Zoro looked at the navigator with his brows furrowed.

“WHat are you talking about?” He asked. Robin was listening into the conversion, just acting like she was reading. Nami sighed in frustration at his thick skull.

“Y/n! The super pretty chick, the seamstress that fixes all our clothes, the one who always accompanies you so your not lonely, and even carries your ass when you black out from battle or from drinking?” Nami dragged on, making sure he got the concept. Zoro had sometimes wondered how he’d wake up in a soft bed with water next to him and you’d always be there to make sure he's okay.

“Yeah? What about her?” He rolled his eyes and turned away from the two girls. He could feel Nami’s anger boil behind him. He was about to tune out everything until he heard laughter. Your laughter. He would be able to find it in a crowd, his knees would always go slightly weak when you laughed. He turned around to see what was making you laugh, but the sight made his blood boil.

Sanji was carrying a tray with tropical looking drinks, while fawning over you. Your cheeks were slightly pink with blush. That damn cook was making you laugh and blush? Zoro gritted his teeth. Oh how badly Zoro wished to punch that piss head away and carry you away in his arms. Zoro stopped himself. WHat was he thinking? Take you away? And then what? Get a small house by the sea and he’d get to show you off to everyone? God it sounded nice. Zoro shook his head. These thoughts are why he needs to get away from you. Even in the middle of battle zoro would only think about you. If you were safe or when the next time he’d be able to kiss your angelic lips again. He was starting to sound like the cook. A shiver went down his back just thinking about it.

The first time he kissed you was because he could hold it back anymore. You're just so beautiful, smart, and stupidly charming. That night when you both had watched together. You looked like a goddess in the moonlight. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and he was thankful when you didn’t pull away. SInce then he struggles to not touch or kiss you everytime he sees you.

-

“Y/n, we need to talk,” Zoro spoke slowly. Walking through the woods to get to the others after Zoro insisted he knew the way. Your heart sank. What was he going to talk about? A million thoughts swarmed your head. He stopped in his tracks, you stopped right behind him.

“Nami tol dme something,” his words made your heart stop. Did Nami seriously rat you out?

“What is it, Zoro?” you asked timidly. Sure you can fight devil fruit users, get shot, almost drown and not think anything of it. But the second you're alone with Zoro everything is thrown out the window. He turned around to look at you, his head tilted down to fully see you. As you looked up you could sense where this was going to go.

“Nami talked to me about some feelings you had,” He confessed. His eyes looked away. Your face heated up from embarrassment. “ANd i think I need to straighten some things out,” he continued, “Y/n I-” “You see me only as a casual friend, I get it,” you cut him off coldly. You didn’t want him to say it. It would hurt too much. He sighed. Your eyes started to water. The guy you were basically in love with just rejected you, even after weeks of kissing each other like lovers. He’s going to blow you off like this? His left hand rested on your shoulder, his right one coming up to your chin.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” he chuckled. He raised your head to look at him, your eyes widened. What could he possibly want to say? The moon casted a halo around his taller frame. He looked angelic. He leaned in close, his breath hitting your ear.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to be more than ‘casual friends’” his warm breath heated my neck. My face felt hotter from his confession. Was this a dream? He pulled back and looked into your eyes. “Is that alright baby?” he asked. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Yes! Yes, yes a million times ye-” his lips crashed into yours.

-

Bonus-

After agreeing to keep it a secret from the crew you two got back with them. The ship rocked as you all boarded.

“What's that on your face, Zoro?” Nami asked with her usual smug smile. The crew all turned to look at him. Sanji’s jaw dropped to the floor as he looked between the two of you.

“FInally,” Robin sighed, walking to the upper deck. Both yours and Zoror’s eyebrows were raised. WHat were they talking about? Turning to look at each other, you froze. You may or may not have forgotten you were trying out a new red lipstick tonight. Zoro’s lips were stained red as well as kiss marks all around his face. Your cheeks flushed. Zoro’s eyes widened at your smeared lipstick on your lips, he could put two and two together.

So much for keeping it a secret.

<3

[m-e-stanley]

A JINX ARC 3 CHARACTER STUDY

Arcane act 3 served as a brutal reminder to just how impactful Isha was to Jinx mental health

Season 2 starts after Jinx just killed Silco and attached the leadership of Piltover. We see her drifting, lost, till she finds Isha. Or rather, till Isha drops on her.

And then we see a visibly lighter Jinx. She jokes around, she's more sarcastic and she seems to be lighter. She didn't even want to join the Piltover/Zaun conflict. She was, maybe, content. To just live with Isha in that little hideout, playing monster Bash with Stink Maw and the others. And when she got back into fighting, she only did it because Isha was captured.

But then Isha died and when we see Jinx in the final arc, we see probably the quietest version of the character we've ever seen. Jinx has looked angry, sad, happy and even crazy, but for the first time, we saw Jinx tired. Not the physical tired, but the mental tired. She didn't even try to escape from Cait's officers and let herself be arrested after making sure Vi was okay.

She feels like she is truly a Jinx. First, in season one her bomb caused the deaths and her eventual separation from Vi. Then she killed Silco. And then Isha, sweet Isha who loved and admired her no matter her crimes, died right in front of her.

Why did Isha's death have that much impact? What was it about Isha?

There's many reasons.

Vander and Silco had already happened by then. She never truly recovered from those losses. In Zaun, there really is no time for grief, just survival. And Jinx was a bottled up character filled with grief. Grief over a childhood lost due to her attempt to help. And then the grief over the man who took her in after that, and who died at her hand. Isha was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Or maybe it was because Isha loved her even when she became Jinx. Her childhood friends and family loved powder. Silco loved Jinx, yes. But Silco also used Jinx in his business.

But Isha? Isha looked at Jinx, what she saw as the worst version of herself, and loved her unapologetically. Admired her, modelled herself after her and followed her everywhere. That was something she never had. And then she tried so hard, so so hard to keep that feeling, only to lose it.

Isha brought life to jinx. Don't get me wrong, Jinx was always alive. But Isha brought something Jinx didn't feel in so long. Contentment. Jinx was content at that hideout with just Isha. Jinx was never the type of character to stay in one place, even when she was powder. She had a restless soul and it showed in how she was everywhere as powder and Jinx. But with Isha, she was content to just stay in the hideout. And even when it came to leaving that safe space, she only did it for one person. Isha.

She took the death of Isha so hard, she tried killing herself. And even at the end, that loss, that sense of being tired, still never left her.

Honestly I was not surprised when she let go of Vi's glove. She had already said her goodbyes in that prison. When she told Vi "you don't need to feel guilty about being happy", she had said her goodbye. She was all done with it all. She was tired. And Isha's death was the tipping point. Even there, looking at her sister, her one family left, she was still so done. So so tired of losing everyone and thinking it was her fault. She said earlier in the season that everyone that gets close to her dies. And she looked at the one last person that was close to her, Vi. She probably remembered everyone that was close to her that she lost. Their parents. Vander. Silco. Her childhood friends. And the most recent and the one that hurt the most, Isha. She thought of them, and looked at her only sister. The only person she loved who was still alive and thought, maybe if I'm gone, she could be happy. And she went into the dark unknown.

That shows that despite everything she had been through, Jinx still could love, in her own way. She was not a perfect character. She made mistakes, was impulsive, sometimes cruel and even violent. But she was the a product of her environment. Zaun was fucked and so kept on producing fucked up children growing into that fucked up society and becoming fucked up teenagers and adults who eventually gave birth to kids and the whole cycle repeats itself.

Maybe Jinx is still alive. Maybe she's dead

But there's one thing that's for sure

Jinx is done with Piltover and Zaun. There's nothing left for here there but voices and ghosts and the one sister who she has said her goodbyes to.

It's time for Jinx and Powder to rest

[lucagray813]

Shadow - Chapter 10

Title: Behind the Veil

Rating: T+

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: MK

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: MK & Wukong

Summary: Macaque comes clean and walls and glamours finally fall. Their relationship will be all the better for it but it does result in a painful flashback to the worst day of their lives.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: Suggestive language, major character death, the following CWs are present but not graphic: self-mutilation, self-harm, blood and injury, violence

If you want to skip the MCD and the following CWs scroll past the italics after "His ears started ringing."

Link to AO3 Version

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

----

Wukong had spent almost all of his time in the library, consolidating his understanding of everything pertaining to the soul. He wasn't an expert in every facet of a soul's "lifecycle" but he had plenty of experience sitting with his own and exploring it's nature and that knowledge was what he thought might be of use to Macaque.

There was a chance he was focusing a little too hard on what might have been a figure of speech but at the same time it wouldn't do Macaque any harm. He would argue that even if it didn't help specifically with finding the truth about the Void it could still help him come to terms with his fear.

He wondered if there was a way to more directly help Macaque beyond teaching him what he knew because he was sure Macaque was going to be a very reluctant student. He already knew how to meditate but it was normally with a focus on magic, not on anything spiritual. And Wukong knew from first hand experience how difficult and unpleasant sitting with who you really are could be.

He was probably not going to find an alternative method to verbal guidance before Macaque returned but he would keep looking into it. In the meantime, he could make sure he was fully prepared to try and teach, although that was probably going to mean a lot of meditation on his own first.

He generally did mediate every day but he'd be lying if he said it had become much less of a priority in recent years. But it was time to get back on the bandwagon in a big way. Admittedly, he'd probably have an easier time of it once Macaque was back because every time he sat down to try it he just couldn't resist astral projecting and checking on him.

Astral projection was a bit of a curious talent. You weren't really seeing another person's soul, just a visual representation of it and how it appeared had a lot to do with the perception and skill of the beholder. If MK were here instead of him, Macaque's soul wouldn't look the same way to him as it did to Wukong.

If you could reach the pinnacle of enlightenment then he was sure no soul would be a mystery to you but given his attachment to some very specific souls it was unlikely he was reaching that level anytime soon. And honestly he was ok with that.

It would have been handy just to be able to look at Macaque and know everything about him but for all that it could save them both some hardship, it would really take away from the thrill of discovery. Maybe there was a middle ground that was somehow attainable?

Idle thoughts for another day, he frowned slightly as he considered Macaque's soul. It was odd he couldn't see his scars or ears, not that one's physical appearance made any difference to their true soul, but it did often influence the projection of the unenlightened. Maybe it had something to do with how Macaque viewed himself? Or how he wanted to be seen?

It was probably the latter and that did really put a downer on his hopes that Macaque would be dropping his glamours again any time soon. He tried to tell himself it didn't matter, that there were more important matters to attend to, but it was always on the back of his mind.

Actually, another thing that struck him as strange was that he could see Macaque's surroundings, although that was perhaps a generous description for an endless world of darkness. Astral projection never usually made the physical world melt away. Anytime he contacted MK this way all he could see was a vision of his soul, he couldn't see where he was.

He tried to rack his brain for any time he had projected to Macaque outside of the Void and he found he couldn't recall a single time that wasn't from days long past. He didn't generally need to and it was a bit invasive - they had phones for a reason.

He thought it might be worth testing what happened when Macaque was in the physical realm with him because right now this was giving some credence to the theory that Macaque's soul was connected to this place in a pretty significant way.

He didn't want to consider any theory too deeply at the moment however not until Macaque was back to discuss things.

He supposed he had to be quite grateful to the monkeys for forcing him to take breaks and eat and sleep. Macaque would be furious if he came back to find he hadn't been taking care of himself but it was hard not to fret. Although even he could admit his check-ins were a little too frequent.

He started setting alarms for himself - no astral projecting allowed until the next one went off and the monkeys took this rule very seriously. Going to great lengths to ensure he adhered to it.

It was two days after Macaque left for the Void that something was different when he went to check on him. He wasn't lying down asleep anymore, in fact it looked like he was sitting talking to someone and Wukong had just interrupted. Macaque looked extraordinarily guilty as he stood up.

"Ah, Wukong, I was just on my way back!"

Confused, he asked, "Who are you talking to? Did someone else project to you?"

The only person he was aware of that could astral project that might have any interest in contacting Macaque was MK. And while he wasn't one hundred percent confident that MK knew absolutely nothing about the Void, it felt odd that he would be there now.

Macaque winced as he admitted, "Ah, no. I might have already left?" He hastened to add, "Literally like an hour ago! I, er, just needed to check up on some things?"

Later, he no doubt would be annoyed that Macaque hadn't come straight home or at least let him know he had left but right now he was a little more concerned with something else.

He clarified, "You're not in the Void right now, then?"

Clearly misinterpreting his tone, Macaque tried to pacify him, "No but I'll be with you in, like, five minutes. Less than five minutes. I just had to... Why are you looking at me like that?"

Macaque's soul was still surrounded by that same all consuming black and no part of him thought this was a good sign.

He rubbed at his temple, "Just get your ass back here now."

Macaque nodded quickly, "Absolutely. I'm basically already there."

Wukong broke off the connection as Macaque turned around to explain to whoever he was with that he had to go.

...

Ok, apparently later was now. How dare he not come straight back here! Wukong had been worried sick for two days straight and he just went off to hang out with someone else? He was going to kick his ass when he appeared!

Which as promised only took about thirty seconds and Wukong didn't give him a chance to stammer out any platitudes before grabbing his shirt and shaking him, "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? And you just went off gallivanting!?"

Macaque grabbed on to his wrists to try and stop him, "Alright! Alright! Stop! Let me explain!"

He stopped with the shaking but he still held him as if he threatened to start again at the slightest provocation, "Talk."

Macaque took a breath, "Look, I never usually come straight back from the Void, ok? Takes a bit to get used to being physical again. And then I like to check to see what I've missed - you know, see if I've got any calls or messages. Sometimes I even do a quick peek around the houses to make sure everyone is fine. Usually only takes an hour or two tops and then I come right here."

Wukong eyed him suspiciously, that all sounded reasonable but if that was true why was he behaving like he'd been caught doing something wrong, "Who were you talking to?"

Macaque coughed a little awkwardly before rubbing at his neck, "Bǎi Hé...?"

"You don't sound so sure of that."

Macaque sighed and stepped out of his grasp, which he begrudgingly allowed, "No, I really was talking to her. I... I wasn't quite ready to face the music and I was hoping she might be able to settle my nerves."

He frowned, "What did you think I was going to do when you got back?"

Aggrieved, Macaque responded, "It wasn't that. I was just... embarrassed about how I acted. I know I'm dramatic but that really was taking it too far - got us both upset over nothing."

It definitely wasn't over nothing but he couldn't disagree the whole thing could have been handled a lot better. Wukong had had the last two days to agonise and come to terms with it but Macaque hadn't - he'd basically been asleep the entire time - and he could understand why he might need a moment to lament things.

Deciding to be forgiving, he asked, "Did she help?"

A bit of the tension melting off him, Macaque responded, "A little. She didn't actually know what the problem was, so it was more of a general pep-talk/lecture to get a grip. Honestly, she can be a little merciless."

Wukong snorted, "I wonder where she got that from."

Macaque shrugged and lied, "I have no idea."

Fond against his will, he huffed. Before opening his arms, "Alright, I'm appeased. Get back over here so I can properly welcome you back."

Perhaps a little more eager than he intended, Macaque was quickly back in his space and holding him tightly. For this moment at least, all was forgiven as he relished in the feeling of having Macaque in his arms. To actually be able to touch him, instead of pretending to while he was astral projecting.

Their tails had intertwined almost immediately and as he pulled back to kiss Macaque's cheek, he quietly told him, "Welcome back."

Macaque placed a chaste kiss on his lips before answering, "Good to be back. Sorry I was gone for so long."

Part of him was tempted to forego any immediate conversation and just carry him to bed and snuggle up with him but if past experience had taught him anything it was that putting off important chats only made them more difficult.

So with a heroic effort, he led them to the couch instead, "C'mon, drama queen, let's get this show on the road. We've got a lot to talk about."

Despite sighing dramatically, Macaque followed him, flopping on the couch, as he commented, "I suppose so." But he sobered up quickly, "First and foremost though, I am sorry about, well, everything. Freaking out, keeping secrets... Doesn't really matter what reasons I had, it was shitty of me. I'm sorry."

As glad as he was for an apology, it really wasn't enough to completely pacify him, "The freaking out I can forgive but keeping secrets? Of that magnitude? I can't pretend I'm not still upset about it."

Everyone had their secrets, even him, and he didn't expect Macaque to tell him every little thing he'd ever thought or done but this was way too big for him not to have shared with him.

Macaque had said he deserved to know so he could have a choice and he did appreciate the sentiment but more than that if this was something that could have a big impact on either of them or their relationship then he just needed to be in the know in general.

Macaque accepted this easily, "I know. I always knew that I needed to tell you but... No, I don't want to make excuses. Look, I wish I could promise you there'll be no more secrets from now on but I can't... I promise to try though. Anything you ask me from now on, I'll do my best to be upfront about."

He would actually really like to hear Macaque's "excuses", he was pretty sure he understood why he'd kept this a secret and it felt important to talk about it but for now he decided to test Macaque on his word.

Getting straight into it, he asked, "How many people know about your condition? And about the Void?"

"Niú and Gōngzhǔ probably know about as much as you do now. Red Son knows more than anyone about my physical condition, but I've never told him about the Void, although I wouldn't put it past him to figure it out eventually. The only other person who knows anything about my condition, my vision and taste and the like, is Bǎi Hé but she knows absolutely nothing else."

He then hesitated and added, "For the sake of being upfront though... She has seen my scars and ears. She's the only one other than you."

Well that wasn't a question he was going to ask but now that he had the answer he was a little flummoxed, "Bǎi Hé has seen you without your glamours...? When? Why?"

It felt unfair to be upset about that but he hadn't even had a chance to look at them properly yet.

Macaque was surprisingly serious, "Wukong, if I tell you this, it doesn't leave this room. This is Bǎi Hé's business, alright? Swear, you won't breathe a word of this again."

A little shocked, he held up his hands, "I swear. Jeez. If it's that big a deal, you don't have to tell me."

He would very much like to know but Macaque's glamours were not actually under question here. Sure, Wukong was a little sensitive about it but at the end of the day that was his issue not Macaque's. Macaque didn't owe him his true appearance and definitely not any of Bǎi Hé's secrets.

But he had a feeling Macaque felt the need to prove how serious he was about being honest.

"You don't need the details but just know she has a lot of scars from when the Lady Bone Demon had her. She was feeling really self-conscious about them so I took my glamours down so she knew I wasn't just talking shit just to make her feel better."

God, did Macaque love that kid. He wasn't sure there was anything he wouldn't do for her. He imagined that hadn't been easy for him - no doubt it was a very Lady Bone Demon heavy chat as well as being physically laid bare like that.

He couldn't help but ask, "I know I've never spent a lot of time with her but I don't remember seeing any scars...?"

"I set her up with some glamours but before that she used to basically cover up head to toe, wore a lot of make up, you would never have seen them."

Honestly, that was more than he needed to know, "You didn't need to tell me any of this."

"I know, and I probably shouldn't have, but you asked and I... I want to make it up to you for lying. And don't think I don't know how hung up you are on my glamours. But that's a conversation for another day, ok?"

He nodded eagerly, "Yeah. Of course. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm all ears!"

He cringed a little at his enthusiasm but the fact that Macaque had brought it up had him feeling incredibly hopeful. And if he was being honest, it did go a long way to show him how serious he was.

But this was a tangent that didn't need any more time spent on it right now. He cleared his throat to dismiss any lingering embarrassment and said, "Ok, getting back on track. That's really the only people that know?"

Macaque looked a little unimpressed, "I'm as shocked as you are. Your student could do with a brush up on his observation skills. I think him and a couple of his friends have some suspicions but Red Son hasn't told them anything. He wouldn't dare."

He really did want to defend MK, Macaque was an impressive actor after all, but he felt a little embarrassed on his behalf that he hadn't seemed to have at least clocked that Macaque was pretty much blind. The greatest kindness he could do was move the conversation along however.

"Actually, talking about Red Son. I may have paid him and his folks a visit while you were away."

Macaque looked tired at just the thought, "Yeah, I figured. Let me guess, I'm due to get my ass handed to me?"

"Well, they did say that you were to visit them as soon as possible and they did look pretty pissed. So, I'm going to say chances are high?"

For all that he was upset with Macaque, he didn't think he would wish an angry Gōngzhǔ on anyone.

"Can't say I didn't see this coming. You managed to get back in one piece though?"

"Oh yeah, it was a little tense with Gōngzhǔ but I had such a good heart to heart with Niú afterwards. When did he get so wise and considerate, eh?"

"I think the same way you did but in the reverse order - marriage and a mountain."

Wukong wisely did not mention he had had a pretty famous third thing help with his character development, instead opting to tease, "You think I'm wise?"

"Wise-r. But not by much. Although, can't really say I've got a leg to stand on right now."

"Wow. You really have been humbled by this, haven't you?"

"Give me a couple of days and I'll be back on form."

He was already sounding way better than he had before he left and Wukong found he was almost reluctant to stir up any feelings of fear again but they had to talk about it.

"Yeah, about that. So I spoke with Niú and Gōngzhǔ, saw Red Son's reports and figured they've got that side of things well covered. So I've been thinking of other ways that I could try and help figure out if your condition really is deteriorating and I think I found it."

Macaque frowned but he didn't interrupt.

"You remember, you said you felt it in your soul that you would go back permanently one day? Well, I figured that was worth digging into. Explore where that's coming from and initially I thought I would just be teaching you how to meditate on your spirit, and that's definitely part of it, but when I astral projected to you earlier I saw something sort of concerning."

Macaque had predictably pulled some faces at the idea of spiritual meditation but he looked genuinely confused about his closing statement, "What did you see?"

"I looked like you were in the Void."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean I couldn't see anything but darkness and your soul. I thought that's just how it was when I projected to the Void but you weren't there, right?"

"You can see the Void...?"

He looked a little perturbed by this information and Wukong couldn't blame him, not if he was coming to the same conclusions he was. Macaque looked thoughtful and he waited to see what he came up with.

"That shouldn't be possible. You shouldn't see anything but a representation of my soul... Unless the darkness you're seeing is a part of that...?"

That was unfortunately what he had been thinking too.

It also struck him that he hadn't had to search for Macaque's soul. He had searched where he always did but somehow he had automatically been taken to where he had actually been - that wasn't how it was supposed to work and he shared this realisation with him.

Macaque was quiet as he processed this, before slowly theorising, "The Void isn't a place as such, it's more the space where everything exists, it's everywhere and nowhere all at once. If you were looking for my soul "in" the Void, then if I'm connected to it, I guess you'll always be able to find me regardless of if I'm there or not? But the fact that you're able to access the Void in any capacity..."

That actually had him perking up, "Hey, you're right. Maybe that's an angle we need to explore. We should see if MK or someone can also reach you there."

He was taken aback by how vehemently Macaque shot him down, "Absolutely not. No way. I'm not putting him at risk."

"Woah! At risk? What are you talking about? Worst case scenario, he can't reach you. Sure, he might get a little invested in helping but... What's with that face? What's wrong?"

He looked like he was considering something particularly unpleasant but he seemed to lose whatever argument he was having in his head. Again, he looked at him with the utmost seriousness, "Wukong, I'm going to show you something and you have to swear on the lives of our troupe that you'll never go looking for it, that you'll never use it."

His eyes widened at the stipulation, he wouldn't make him swear on the monkeys unless it was something beyond serious, "Macaque... I can't make that promise. Not without knowing what it is."

Another internal conflict seemed to ensue before defeatedly Macaque pulled something solid from the shadows. And while it looked different but there was no denying what it was.

"You finished your lantern?"

The most notable feature was the vertical shutters that were currently hiding whatever was hiding inside. He was sure they could snap open at Macaque's command however.

Macaque nodded, "A while ago."

He had almost forgotten about it, it had been so long ago that he'd started working on it and he'd never offered any updates on how it was progressing. At the very beginning they had discussed what he was hoping to achieve and his worries over any unintentional functions but that was it.

He had a feeling that the lantern had not gone according to plan and that's why he hadn't been told it was finished.

Warily, he asked, "What does it do?"

"Not what I was hoping it would... I think I inadvertently created a gateway to the Void?"

He pointed at the lantern, "You're saying that I could use this to go to the Void?"

The lantern immediately disappeared back into the shadows as Macaque snapped, "No, that's the exact opposite of what I'm saying. You are not to use it. Your body can't exist in the Void. Only your soul can but it won't survive the experience."

He raised an eyebrow, "How do you know?"

Macaque huffed as he looked away, "How'd you think? I tested it. The few I decided didn't deserve mercy are alive and sorely wishing they weren't. Although, I'm not sure the ones I killed are actually any more at peace. No idea if they even made it to the Dìyù, and if they did who knows if their souls can actually be repaired."

"Jeez, Macaque. How many people have you used this on?"

"Four but trust me they all deserved it."

He'd be lying if said he felt totally comfortable with the fact that Macaque apparently still tortured and killed people. That was the kind of thing he wouldn't have batted an eyelash at back in the day, hell he'd done more than his fair share, but it really wasn't the done thing anymore.

Something must have shown on his face or in his magic because a little defensively, Macaque responded, "I don't just go around killing people for the hell of it but it's not like there's no risk of it when I'm allied with MK and the Demon Bull Clan."

It wasn't an unfair comment. He was sure being associated with him likely didn't help things either. It's not like he wasn't aware Macaque had killed people in recent years - it was sort of inevitable with the company Macaque kept - but they just didn't tend to discuss it in any great detail. Probably something they should address at some point.

"I know. I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to make a face or whatever. It just caught me off guard, I guess. Bottom line though is that the lantern is dangerous for most people but let's face it, I'm not most people."

Macaque looked like he wanted to maul him, and he hastened to add, "Look, I'm not saying I'm in a rush to put it to the test but I don't think we should rule it out completely. It feels pretty significant that I can astral project to you there, right?"

Macaque was not appeased, "I don't care. No matter what happens, you are not to use that lantern. No one is."

He wasn't promising never to use it but he wasn't going to go behind Macaque's back to mess with it, "Fine. But I still think we should get MK to-"

"No."

Alright, this clearly wasn't up for discussion. But he thought Macaque was being overly paranoid. A projection was not the same as sending someone's soul elsewhere and it had the added safety feature of having two anchor points, the projector and the target, albeit the former was more secure than the latter.

But he could see he was only upsetting Macaque, and so he conceded, "Alright. Alright. No getting anyone else involved in Void stuff. We'll do what we can just the two of us, ok?"

Honestly, Macaque didn't look keen on that either but he definitely wasn't winning that argument. And he seemed to accept this but he wasn't quite willing to let it go without a final warning.

"Wukong, you want to help me find ways to explore my soul? Fine. But I need you to understand why you can't take the risk on the Void. Try and imagine it - you have no body, you can't hear, see or feel. You can't speak and you are completely alone. That's enough to drive anyone crazy but then your soul is also aware of every shadow and shape in existence? Even if that didn't warp your soul, when you came back to your body, your mind wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Tell me you understand."

He didn't want to imagine it. It was the sort of thing nightmares were made of. But Macaque was able to survive it. Surely, he couldn't be the only one? But he put any thoughts of them somehow bridging the physical realm and the Void on the back burner for now. Hopefully a lot of meditation would turn up some answers in time.

As seriously as he could, he responded, "I do understand and I swear I'm not going to be reckless about this. I won't willingly put either of us in any sort of danger. I promise."

He withstood Macaque's scrutiny and after a moment he sighed, looking tired, "You haven't even considered the ramifications of me deteriorating, have you? You just believe this will all work out somehow."

He hadn't given it any thought beyond figuring out if it was possible and how to stop it. It didn't seem worth fretting over depressing hypotheticals until he'd at least done the former and he was pretty confident that they had plenty of time before any deteriorating might happen. It irked him slightly that Macaque's tone suggested that he was being naïve about this.

But he kept a level head, "I think we might need to work on finding some middle ground here. You think I'm being too optimistic, but I think you're being way too pessimistic. All the evidence suggests that if anything is happening to you then it's happening so slowly that we have plenty of time to figure it out. You said yourself it might take thousands of years for the Void to take you back. We don't need to obsess over worst case scenarios."

"Wukong..." He hesitated before he seemed to decide to go for it, "I know it's a running joke that we're married but I need you to really consider what it means to dedicate yourself to someone else - in sickness and in health, for better or worse. I need to know that you can think past how you feel right now."

He felt himself growing irritated with how little faith Macaque seemed to have in him but it was cut short as he remembered Niú's words.

Macaque knows what it is to love someone to his own detriment. I have witnessed his loyalty slowly destroy him once before. He does not wish that fate upon you.

The situation was more complex than a lack of faith. He stood by his opinion that Macaque was being pessimistic but he'd clearly given more thought to the future than Wukong had. Generally, he believed it was better to be in the moment than lose time worrying about things yet to happen but, like all things, there was a balance to strike.

He nodded slowly, "Ok, you want me to think about it? I will. Give me some time and then we can talk about what the future might hold and how we feel about it."

Macaque looked surprised at his acceptance before he seemed to backpedal slightly, "Look, I know I'm being super down on everything, I don't want you to think I think we're doomed or whatever. I just... You're right, I'm probably overthinking it, let fear fester and take over."

He took hold of Macaque's hand, "Hey, I don't blame you for being scared, or for worrying about the future. Especially, now that I have some idea of why that is. You've given me a lot to think about, the least I can do is, y'know, actually think about it."

Macaque let out a long breath, "I... Appreciate that. I'll do my part too - I'll talk to you, I'll try not to be so afraid. I don't want to be so scared about the future I miss out on what we have right now. You... think you could help me with that?"

He was sure his expression was something achingly soft as he leaned his head against Macaque's before gently saying, "We are going to do so much mediating."

Macaque's responding groan was like music to his ears.

----

Despite, Macaque's admission that he was afraid, it was clear that being ill and stressed had greatly exacerbated things the other week and Wukong suspected he would not have the same struggle going to the Void next time, which somewhat decreased the urgency to find an immediate answer.

It helped that they were under no illusion that there was a quick fix for this situation and while they both were still very much committed to finding answers, they had instead chosen to focus on addressing their relationship for the time being.

It was very much a work in progress, figuring out how to temper their respective optimism and pessimism to find a middle ground, especially when the roles sometimes flipped, but overall he felt like they were making good progress.

Not to say every moment was filled with serious conversations or deep thoughts because life was very much still going on around them - monkeys were having drama, friends still wanted to meet up, there were plans they'd made to go out in advance that were now upon them and then there was just day to day living.

Although, one unexpected addition to his week had been Macaque's insistence that they consider experimenting with their magic, since somebody had told Niú and Gōngzhǔ that's what had been the kicking off point for the drama the other week.

He had spluttered defensively, "What was I supposed to tell them! "Oh yeah, turns out that I have a dick that fucking glows with magic and it was a bit much." Gōngzhǔ would have actually murdered me!"

Macaque had been in hysterics over his "magic dick" - he'd genuinely cried with laughter. Wukong put aside any embarrassment to make comments to keep him laughing for as long as possible. When he finally calmed down, it was to stroke his ego, "Honestly, magic dick is right. I can't tell you much I'm looking forward to having it again."

His face had been burning even as he tried to weakly argue, "You want to... Even after what happened?"

There had been an impish sparkle in Macaque's eye, "Between magic cock rings, experimenting with magic and some inspired ideas I have in mind, I think it would be a crime not to try again."

He was never going to live the "magic cock ring" thing down but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to find ways to make sex work for them. He wasn't wholly convinced it was a good idea though and it had taken a fair bit of back and forth for Macaque to convince him that sex wasn't inherently dangerous for him. They just had to take their time with it and figure it out.

Despite feeling reassured, he knew he was going to be a bit overcautious for a while to come. Although, he had to admit he was both curious and a little terrified of what Macaque's "inspired ideas" were - with a grin full of mischief he had said he would reveal all when the time was right.

He was sure leaving him in the dark was a deliberate move to work him up because that was definitely the effect it had - unable to stop himself from trying to imagine what he might have planned.

For the moment though, he did his best to put any such salacious thoughts to the back of his mind. He was more than ready to hear Macaque's suggestions for magic experimentation.

"I want to stress test my tolerance for magic."

And he was immediately out. Macaque was quick to try and persuade him, "Don't dismiss it until you've heard the details. I'm not asking you to saturate me in magic until I call uncle and have to hightail it to the Void. I'm talking small-scale, carefully controlled, external experiments."

He was sure there was a silent "to start with" tacked on to the end of that but he let it go for the moment. In theory, knowing how much magic Macaque could comfortably handle before it became too much could be incredibly useful but he didn't like the idea of having to get close to the limit in order to find it.

But Macaque's initial request was just to experiment with different intensities of orbs of their magic to see how they reacted and that was such a benign ask that he was more than happy to oblige. They'd done similar exercises before when they had been trying to help him with his fear of foreign magic after all and there had been no issues then.

Macaque had looked increasingly thoughtful as they'd carried on and when asked he confessed, "Being totally honest, it's not just the intensity of magic that's the issue but the other metric I'm interested in is a little more difficult to figure out."

"What is it?"

Bizarrely, Macaque looked a little embarrassed, coughing a little before admitting, "Well, the intensity of emotion you're feeling might be just as important with regards to how overwhelming your magic is. It might be possible that I can actually handle quite a lot of your magic if there's not so much emotion behind it."

He hadn't really understood what he'd meant for a moment but the out of character bashfulness had made it click and he felt his face redden. When they had slept together, all he'd been able to think about was Macaque and while he hoped his feelings were coming across, he hadn't meant for it to happen quite so literally.

They couldn't quite meet each other's eyes as Macaque continued, "Yeah... Er, not saying it wasn't something to be able to feel how you felt in the moment but feeling someone else's emotions while you're having plenty of your own, on top of some magic sensitivity? It was... a lot."

He wasn't sure what the correct response was to that, but a little mortified to literally have thrust such raw, unguarded emotion on to Macaque, he tired, "I...Uh, Sorry? I mean, not about how I felt but- Er, actually maybe a little bit about how I felt? But I didn't mean to, y'know, have that happen."

He wasn't sure why he was so embarrassed. He already knew that Macaque could pick up on his emotions pretty accurately through his magic just by being near him. Though he sort of likened that to being able to tell by someone's expression how they were feeling. But to be able to feel exactly what he'd been feeling in that moment? In all it's intensity? To know how absolutely sickeningly besotted he was with him?

He was never going to recover.

A little shyly, Macaque admitted, "I didn't hate it. It was... Pretty incredible actually. I, er, sort of wish you could know what it felt like but, y'know, the other way round."

He was powerless but to move closer as he asked, "Yeah...?"

"Yeah... Only fair, right? For you to know how I feel."

Later, he would ponder if it could be possible. If he honed his magic sensitivity to even a fraction of that of Macaque's maybe he would be able to feel it to some extent. There were doubtless plenty of exercises that he could try. And the payoff would definitely be worth the effort.

For right now though, he was a little too enamoured by the charged atmosphere that was surrounding them. Their tails found each other almost unthinkingly, but once hands started to find their way to hips and shoulders however he could only be thankful for how efficiently the shadows could get them somewhere private.

----

It was a rare thing for MK to drop by unannounced but apparently he'd been flying back home from visiting a friend when he realised how close to the island he was and had decided to drop in and say hi. He'd been apologetic for not calling ahead but Wukong had been quick to wave him off, he was always welcome here and Wukong was always happy to see him.

Macaque had, of course, heard him well before he reached them and had told him he would hang out elsewhere on the island so the two could catch up. It really wasn't necessary, it would be nice for all three of them to spend some time together, and he'd said as much. A quick compromise had been reached though, because as much as he'd meant what he'd said, he did love having some one-on-one time with MK. Macaque would join them in a little while.

Currently MK was showing him videos and pictures from Gōngzhǔ and Niú's most recent party and filling him in on highlights from the night. He'd already seen most of it online, and Macaque had been there so he'd already heard all the gossip but none of that was anywhere near a good enough reason to stop him from listening with rapt attention.

It was as he was flicking through the pictures that he stopped on one that had Macaque in the background with a woman beside him, he asked MK, "Oh, is that this Lady Jiānyá that Mac was telling me about?"

"Hm? Oh yeah! She would not leave him alone! I think she thought he was just playing hard to get or something? Which is weird because I thought it was pretty common knowledge that he was with you."

Well, it was common knowledge to those that knew them and probably anyone employed by the Demon Bull Clan but outside of that the world likely assumed the Monkey King was happily single, kicking back, enlightened, on Flower Fruit Mountain. And really it was probably better that way - it would bring Macaque no shortage of hardships to advertise who he was in a relationship with.

He considered the photo, interest in Lady Jiānyá already lost, as he focused on Macaque's outfit, "Well, with a getup like that who can blame her for trying her luck? I think that might be some of my finest work."

MK laughed, "Oh yeah, that's what she was interested in. Although, I've got to admit it is a super nice outfit. I can never get over the fact that you make all Mac's clothes from scratch! Maybe I should come to you next time I have to go to one of these parties!"

He had been teasing but Wukong's tail gave an excited little flick even as he tried to play it cool, "Y'know, I probably have some outfits that are just your size - how about we go have a look? See if there's anything you fancy."

Outfits that were exactly his size, made specifically for him. And he had designs for plenty more.

MK put up some token protests, but he was easily swayed and the two of them spent a very enjoyable afternoon trying on the various clothes that he had made for both of them.

MK had clocked on pretty fast that these outfits had been tailor made for him and he had questioned, a little suspiciously, how Wukong had possibly gotten his measurements. But that was an easy answer - the Tailor Trio, at Red Son's request, had made MK a number of outfits over the years and they weren't hard to bribe.

And then Macaque joined them and he had been disgusted by the lack of flair to this fashion show and so with a little bit of magic they had a mini cat walk with an audience to go with it. Macaque, star and director of the whole thing, obviously.

He was surprised no monkeys had been drawn to the fun and he had a feeling Macaque was possibly doing something to keep them at bay. Which he appreciated because to be honest he would be more than a little upset if they ruined any of these clothes.

By the end of the day, MK had a phone filled with pictures of the three of them and he had a feeling he might have to make some more clothes for some more people once a certain dragon saw them. But he found he wasn't too upset about that as he and Macaque cheerfully said their goodbyes to MK.

----

It was long after they'd had dinner that night that Macaque interrupted the show they were watching to say, "It wasn't just your outfit that had Lady Jiānyá all over me, y'know."

Wukong had looked at him uncomprehendingly for a long moment, before giving up, "What?"

Disinterestedly, he responded, "I could be wearing rags and I'd still have suitors begging for even a glance in their direction."

He turned so he could face Macaque, leaning back on the arm of the chair, bemused, "Oh? You trying to say I don't know that it wasn't just my incredible talent that had that demon fawning over you?"

"Wasn't just her. I basically have to fight off interested parties with a stick every time I attend one of those parties."

He propped his head up on his arm, as he grinned, "You don't say? Must be that humility of yours that they find so attractive."

He wasn't sure what Macaque's angle was here - was he fishing for compliments? Neither of them were really one for calling the other handsome or beautiful or the like but he wasn't against it in theory. Or did he want a reaction? It would be unusual but he could maybe see that being something Mac could be into.

It turned out to be neither.

"I know I'm no "Handsome" Monkey King but believe it or not people think I'm quite the looker." The façade broke, "Or they did. Back when my face actually looked like this."

Oh.

He sat up a little straighter, all humour leaving him, as he waited for Macaque to continue.

He laughed a little self-deprecatingly, "It feels like something I should have grown out of. The desire to have everyone looking at me in awe. God knows, without the glamours it wouldn't be anything close to awe they looked at me with. It would be with pity, revulsion, if they could even stand to look at me at all. I can't say that doesn't at least play a small part in why I can't take them down around you."

He would like to say that it didn't matter to him how Macaque looked, that he'd love him regardless, but while it may be true. It wasn't helpful, and that wasn't what he was worried about.

"Macaque... I can't say that I wouldn't look at you differently without your glamours. Especially, not at first. Pity and revulsion wouldn't get a look in but I couldn't pretend that it would never upset or anger me to see the evidence of everything you've been through. But I've also never really looked at you with awe because of your looks, y'know? Not because you aren't, y'know, objectively attractive or anything I just..."

It felt awkward to say he'd never really looked at Macaque's face and thought it was beautiful. But he hadn't ever thought of anyone's face like that. He understood what most people considered to be attractive but he had just never really understood it.

That's not to say that he didn't love Macaque's face. The way his eyes lit up with mischief, or the way he showed so many teeth when he laughed, or the hundreds of other little expressions he knew so well - they all certainly invoked beautiful feelings within him.

Maybe he was worrying over semantics but he didn't think that Mac's scars would stop him feeling that way.

But equally, he wasn't sure how he'd feel about having such prominent scars, he already hid the ones he did have from everyone but Macaque and the monkeys. And he could admit he had enough pride and vanity that he'd probably struggle with letting the world see him with scars like Macaque's.

He could tell himself all he wanted that he would still feel comfortable having his glamours off around Macaque but he wasn't sure if it was actually true.

Mac's didn't seem to take offence though, "I know... But the thought of standing next to you, the Handsome Monkey King, looking the way I do... It just fills me with shame."

It would be nothing short of insulting to mention he had his own scars that likely made him less attractive. It wasn't comparable, Macaque's scars were disfiguring, if he were to go without his glamours out in the world people would stop and stare.

But he wasn't out in the world, he was here, with him, and he shouldn't ever have to feel ashamed of how he looked, especially not in comparison to him but it didn't feel enough to say that.

Slowly he started, "How do we work on that? To make that feeling go away? What-?" He made a quiet, frustrated sound as tried to reword his question better, "How did you overcome that feeling last time? You know, when we were..."

Macaque looked faintly embarrassed as he looked away, "It was just a heat of the moment thing. I just... I know how badly you want to see me without my glamours and in that moment all I could feel was... was how much you loved me and... everything just felt right, like it would be ok, I wasn't thinking of the consequences. I... I just wanted to give as much as I was getting and to be as close to you as possible, no hiding away."

Macaque paused for a moment, clearly struggling to find the right words, before continuing, "I'm not saying I don't want that now, I do, but even if I can get over the shame. We don't, I mean, I don't want to-" he took a breath and faced him, "Wukong, some of my scars will just bring up a whole host of bad and awkward feelings. And we'll probably have to talk about it and I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about that day."

There was no need to ask what day he was referring to. They had talked around it during their big reconciliation years ago but neither of them had been prepared to discuss it in detail.

He had the sudden realisation that Macaque hadn't let down all his glamours last time, there were two glaring scars missing that his tired and hazy mind hadn't picked up on at the time. There should have been matching scars on Macaque's back and stomach.

His ears started ringing.

After their bloody fight, Macaque had made a desperate lunge for his master and all he had been able to think about was stopping him. He had brought his staff down on his back with such force that it went right through him, pinning him to the earth.

He hadn't paused, letting go of his staff and moving his master a safe distance away. But he hadn't been able to let go of his master's arms as he stood trembling as he heard the choked sobs from behind him, unable to comprehend what he had just done, immortality be damned.

Seconds had felt like an eternity before his master's gentle call of his name had registered. He had let go and slowly turned around to see that the gruesome scene he had created had gotten worse.

One eye was how it had been - swollen, the blood he'd gotten in it forcing it shut but the other... In the seconds he'd had his back turned Macaque had clawed it out.

He's not sure why he just stood there, watching as Macaque's hitching breaths faded to nothing. Distantly, he knew that he had to remove his staff so that the peaches could start to heal the wound but he couldn't move.

He'd killed Macaque.

The peaches would revive him but that didn't change what he'd done.

He had flinched at his master's featherlight touch on his shoulder, not able to hear whatever he might have been saying. It was enough to finally break his trance however and he unsteadily made his way over to Macaque.

His hands shook as they took hold of his staff, and a sob escaped him when it didn't immediately come free, embedded in the ground below, he didn't want to force it out. Thankfully, his master had followed him, quietly telling him to shrink it.

He narrowed it and pulled it free before staggering back and collapsing to his knees a short distance away, unable to look away.

Hollow and hoarse, he said, "Master, you have to get away. When he comes back, I don't know what he'll do. Go to the others. I... I'll think of something."

"Wukong, he's..."

"He's eaten the immortal peaches. In a few minutes he'll be breathing again, in a few hours he'll be standing. You need to leave."

His master had been doubtful and it had taken a desperate shout for him to leave for him to finally walk away.

He kept up his vigil as his mind desperately tried to think of what to do, of what to say. But it all became meaningless as minutes became hours and nothing changed - his wounds didn't heal, his chest didn't begin to rise and fall.

He had started to babble in that time - apologies, admonishments, pleas - becoming increasingly desperate as time went on. When eventually he found the strength to use his Golden Vision it revealed nothing but a corpse.

His staff rolled from his lap as he finally released it from the white knuckled hold he'd had on it, "Mac...?"

He stood unsteadily, hand outreached as he took a step closer, only for Macaque's body to suddenly start to melt in a familiar purple hue. He tripped as he tried to get to him but by the time he fell to his knees beside where he had been he was grasping at shadows.

He swallowed down his nausea. Just the mention of that day was enough to leave him feeling sick and retched. He did his best to focus on Macaque in front of him, here and alive.

He took a steadying breath, "I understand. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it either. I... I didn't mean to put any pressure on you about your glamours. I'd be lying if I didn't want to see you without them but you have your reasons for keeping them on and I promise I respect that. You never have to take them off if you don't want to. I won't ever ask you to."

Macaque looked a little frustrated, "But that's the thing. I do want to take them off, I just can't work up the nerve."

Wukong considered this carefully before tentatively suggesting, "I know it might involve a bit of work on reconfiguring things on your end but maybe you can just take off some of your glamours...? Like, so maybe just some of your scars show or your ears maybe?"

Macaque looked uncertain as he responded, "Yeah, I... I could maybe do that. I only have a couple of spots with extra glamours but I could try and change that..."

He was quick to reassure him, "You don't have to though! I'm just spitballing ideas!"

"No, it's a good idea. I should have thought of it myself really. I'll think about it." He then stood up, "I think I need a minute though."

Despite the bolt of anxiety that went through him, he nodded, "Yeah, sure, of course. I, er, I'll be right here."

Macaque walked over to him and brought a hand to his face as he kissed his cheek, "I'll just be in my room."

He hesitated, before giving into the urge to wrap his arms tightly around him for only a moment. He might want to be as close as possible to Macaque after remembering that awful day but he could imagine remembering the same thing might cause him to want the exact opposite.

He let him go with a quiet, "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll get you in bed later, ok?"

"Ok."

----

Glamours didn't come up again for a little while, Wukong determined not to mention them before Macaque did.

But it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to him when one day between getting up to grab a drink from the kitchen and coming back to sit on the couch Macaque had taken down some of his glamours with absolutely no warning.

He choked on his drink as he noticed that two ears had become six and he wasted precious time coughing up a lung. Despite laughing at him, it was clear Macaque was tense, clearly nervous about how their appearance would be received.

That didn't stop Wukong from cursing him and complaining that he'd done that on purpose but once the theatrics were out the way he let his eyes have their fill, flicking between each set and taking in every little detail.

The left set were exactly as they'd always been but Macaque hadn't opted to hide away the scarring on the right and Wukong felt an odd mix of gratitude and pride towards him for that.

He shuffled closer, raising his hands slowly, "Can I...?"

Macaque closed his eyes as he nodded and Wukong couldn't stop himself from keeping his touch feather soft as he ran his fingers along them with reverence. The texture on his right ears was notably different but he was in no way deterred.

"Can I...?"

Macaque nodded again, not needing any clarification, as he tilted his head so his good ears were closer to him.

This had been a favourite game of Wukong's back when they were younger. Tackling Macaque so he could cup his ears and see how they were glowing. You could only see the faint light in the dark but they had been the prettiest colours.

They had never been able to figure out why they glowed or if the different colours meant anything. All six ears always glowed the same colour but nothing seemed to prompt a particular shade to appear. Macaque's emotions or his physical state didn't seem to matter, not did any environmental factor. They just glowed however they liked.

He found himself nervous to see if they still glowed or if the Void had taken that from him too. He didn't let himself hesitate however, cupping his hands around all three ears and bringing his face right up next to them, he couldn't explain the relief he felt when he saw the faintest lavender glow from within.

He gave a small laugh as he pulled back, feeling a little emotional, he said, "They still glow."

He wasn't sure what to make of Macaque's expression as he asked, "What colour?"

"Lavender."

His expression fell slightly but he turned his head and offered the other set of ears before he could ask, "Check the other ones for me?"

He did so and it was with great reluctance he pulled back and told him, "I don't see anything."

He looked like he'd been expecting as much as Wukong moved his hands away so that Macaque could bring up one of his own to lightly touch his ears, "I guess I should be grateful that the left ones glow at all. Even if they probably don't glow the same as they did. I have a feeling they won't change from that colour."

Wukong brought up a hand to rest on his good ears, gently running his thumb over them, "I'll check them again later. But for what it's worth, they're still one of the prettiest colours I've ever seen."

Macaque huffed a little laugh, "Well, listen to you, Casanova."

"I'm serious. I hope you're prepared for me to try and get a look at them every time your ears are unglamoured."

Macaque rolled his eyes, "Just like back in the day, eh?"

He grinned, "Not quite because now every time I look at them I'll pay the toll."

"Oh? What toll?"

He leaned in close and placed a gentle kiss on the rim of each of his left ears. The last one he left with an audible "mwah", before pulling back and looking pleased with himself.

Macaque laughed, "You think that's the price of admission, huh? That all the "one of the prettiest colour you've ever seen" is worth to you?"

He kissed his lips before pulling back just enough to say, "Name your price. I'll pay anything for the privilege."

Macaque's tone was full of the mischief he loved so much, "Anything? That's brave of you. You sure about that?"

"When have I ever backed down? Try me."

He felt Macaque's hands slide up his thighs to rest on his hips, "How about we take this somewhere more comfortable and negotiate the terms? I want to see how persuasive you can be."

The answer was very.

Especially, when three sets of ears proved even more sensitive to honeyed words infused with magic than one.

[stump-salsa]

Adding onto this because I have a lot of thoughts about this topic. This might come out as a bit scrambled because I’m not thinking too hard as I type I just need to get it all out.

First of all, no, defectiveness is not an allegory for autism.

Not only would this be extremely problematic due to the nature of how defectives are treated (executed via electrocution, being seen as highly unstable and dangerous monsters), but you’re also humanising irkens too much. Irkens and humans… not the same! I’m not saying they CAN’T be autistic, I’m just saying that defectiveness and autism are NOT THE SAME THING. This is something that REALLY irks me. (Pun intended). It genuinely makes me very uncomfortable and I know people are going to disagree with me and tell me things like “but the irken empire is messed up! That’s the point!” Okay, well I’m not finished.

“You’re a monster, Zim! Everything you touch gets destroyed!”

Defectiveness isn’t a problem with the irken itself, with the organic brain. Defectiveness is an issue with the PAK. A lot of issues in Zim’s case. The PAK is broken. It literally says this in The Trial:

“Irken Zim’s ID PAK is damaged, and has led to a corrupt data path. He is… a defective.”

His PAK is so broken that it corrupts the Control Brains! Almost like a computer virus, I guess.

Defectives are unpredictable, unstable, and dangerous because their PAKs are damaged. It’s hard to keep them in line which is why they need to be terminated. Zim is an active threat to the entire empire, which would be impressive if they learned how to utilise him. But they can’t. He’s too unpredictable. He could end up annihilating his own race by accident (which has almost happened before). He could be set off in a way that makes him WANT to destroy the empire. No matter what he does, something gets destroyed. And the empire doesn’t want it to be them because they KNOW he’s an actual threat. He’s proved that multiple times. It’s safer to just banish him to a planet so far away that it’s practically impossible for them to cross paths again, all while he’s under the impression he’s been sent on a top secret mission. He’ll direct all his destructive energy towards that and not mess up things for the empire anymore. And they need to keep up the illusion so they don’t set him off because they can’t keep him under control like they can everyone else. THAT is what defectiveness is.

Zim was doomed from the second his broken PAK was attached.

Also, defectives aren’t common either. That’s why it’s such a big deal when they’re discovered with this huge existence evaluation. They’re a flaw in the empire’s perfect code and need to be scrubbed from existence and everyone needs to pretend it never happened. That such an irken never existed.

“Irken Zim's data is not allowed into the collective. His PAK will be removed, and erased.”

Also, I know I said it in the original post, but no, irkens who show emotion are not defective. Sure, maybe it’s seen as weak to show emotions like sadness, but it’s literally impossible to prevent that. They very clearly show other emotions like anger, happiness, frustration… sadness is just another one. It’s not defective to be sad, it’s just funny.

And no, I don’t think Skoodge and Tak are defective. I don’t really have a coherent explanation for this. I know it’s a popular headcanon, I just don’t see it.

I don’t really care if you disagree with me on that, it’s your headcanon. I’m just saying that I personally don’t see it. You do you. What I’m actually passionate about is everything I said before that.

I don’t really know how to tie this all together, but I want to share my thoughts on this topic because I feel like it’s important - ESPECIALLY the first part. I’ll come back to this if I have any more thoughts about it because I’m very passionate about defectiveness as a concept.

The term ‘defective’ is thrown around way too loosely in this fandom. Having emotions does not make an irken defective.

[humblemooncat]

You ever been overly-excited about a thing you're making, even though you know it's gonna take a while to present to people?

Anyway, I'm working on a post-EW post for Lohi-

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[bobombun]

My brother, a Warframe veteran, told me about how the veteran players tend to help out the new players, proving this himself by trading me some mods I had no way of getting myself yet. I thought "fair enough, more experienced players tend to be like that, especially if they get bored" and continued on.

Later I had managed to slowly but surely gather up platinum (mostly by selling fish) and was so excited to go to the Market and buy the Feyarch skin for Oberon - I'd seen fanart of it before I learned Oberon does not by default look like it, and I had absolutely fallen in love with the skin. And I realised I was missing one platinum. One. I was so miffed, and ended up complaining to my Alliance's chat, but was resigned to wait till someone would again message me about those rare fish.

And then this one person sends a message to the Alliance chat: "yeah I could give you that." Huh? "I need [super common mod I have like 60 copies of, and I have no doubts that they had at least twice that amount]. Let's trade."

In short, I now have the Feyarch skin, and incredible amounts of gratefulness in my heart. Thank you, friend

[ratatatastic]

theres something inherently cruel about asking a man about "pieces that get left behind by vets" when said vet has already moved onto another team

"he was an unreal add for our team he was just the right piece we needed and for me to be able to sit next to him in the locker room and play with him... hes thinking all the time how to be better he wants to help teammates, help linemates... just works so hard"

Training Camp 24 | 9.24.24 (x)

Miami Herald | 6.1.24 (x)

"it was just so much fun to hear stories" lol were these the stories you were talking about lundy

[skyburger]

"fnaf is the scariest game ever" "no its silent hill" "well i think its resident evil" everyone shut up!!!!!! youre all wrong. its actually zack & wiki quest for barbaros' treasure (on the nintendo wii) but only the level "keeper of the ice". that level scared me so bad as a kid and you can tell because its the only individual level i remember the name of off the top of my head. like there is nothing scarier than a) being chased and b) being on a time limit. and you know what this level has? BOTH OF THOSE. this level is still scary to me im like AHHHHH!!!! and then i die

[cherrylight]

dreamily sighs and screams

[felidthing]

why the fuck did my dad choose to make his kids homeless but let us use as much data as we needed/wanted and let my brother keep using his hand me down car and paying for his gas and let me keep using his card info to refill my orca card. i still think about it bc that whole situation was so fucked and weird and confusing. he refused to consider going halvsies on rent for an apartment and made us live in a shelter/car only for me to check myself into a psych ward and stay there for 2 and a half months and go back to the shelter again until i texted him about how bad everything was and THEN he paid for my rent for a bedroom in a house. i hate my parents and i hate relying on them financially. i literally Need them still because of Money. i lived in that house for 9 months and then i got into college with my parents paying for everything and me just signing up to pay back loans. my dad said i should go for the unlimited meal plan and pays for it. he gave me $200 every month for personal expenses. and now hes paying my rent and bills in full again for an apartment until i move back to school which he will continue paying for. why were you so fucking quick to kick me out of your house with 20 minutes notice

[running-in-the-dark]

I know I've been particularly incoherent for the past few days (again), and it's so dramatic and ridiculous but it seriously feels like something is punishing me. I just want to like things a normal amount. I just want to like people and characters a normal amount.

I don't want to become so fully obsessed that literally nothing else exists and thinking about anything else feels like my brain is being stabbed with a thousand tiny knives. I don't want to need to find every piece of information I possibly can on whoever it is this time. I don't want to feel like I'm (literally) losing my mind when I see them. I don't want any of this!

I can not believe that I exist as a human being on this stupid planet just to get obsessed with people over and over and over again forever.