#everyone was so distraught about jason fucking up so badly

[bloggerspam]

Val is angrily pumping a jack to lift a car up when Jay comes running into the garage.

"Val!" She ignores him, unfastening the wheel with rough, jerky movements.

"Val, listen to me—" Jay starts, laying a hand over her shoulder in a bid for her to turn to face him.

She slaps it off, tossing the punctured wheel away with a grunt and a bang. She takes a deep breath.

"You have some nerve," Val shuts her eyes, "to fuck this up so badly."

"He's not answering my texts." Jay paces back and forth behind her, even without seeing it's apparent in the way the air starts shifting abruptly, how his voice travels to her left and right. "I was in the middle of something, a, a family thing and couldn't really answer with a full explanation."

Val focuses on taking deep, calming breaths. She knows that it was a misunderstanding, she does. It was probably a Bat thing, he was probably knee deep in some kind of fight.

"I basically passed out after," Jay continues, pacing and pacing and pacing, "Didn't really fully understand what I sent, I-I—"

That doesn't mean she will play nice when Danny was hurt by it all night, enough to throw himself through the apartment boxes and set everything up, enough to work through the night on that stupid new bike he'll have to build in the Realms, the way it's turning out.

"I texted to, to explain, but he hasn't replied and—"

"Just," Val cuts in, silencing the man and stopping him in his tracks, "shut up."

"I don't know if it was a Red Hood thing," Val starts, voice low and putting up a hand to stave off what no doubt is some kind of exclamation about her knowing, "But if you weren't of sound mind or, I don't fucking know, were in the middle of a shootout—"

"Ninja assassins," Jay breathes out, "I was, uh, getting chased by ninja assassins.."

She pauses, shakes her head.

"If you were in the middle of getting chased by ninja assassins," She growls out, finally facing her wide-eyed boss, "then why didn't you just wait until after to text him back?"

'I…" Jay's face goes that splotchy red again, "I don't…really like to make Danny wait if I can help it."

There's a long silence.

"You're so fucking stupid, are you fucking kidding me?" Val throws up her hands, groaning as she goes to detach the second tire. The angry clanging echoes through the garage.

The garage is actually empty, or she wouldn't have brought up Red Hood at all. The other mechanics went out on lunch, staggering their breaks. Melissa called sick, and there's only a couple cars anyway, light load for a summer day so Val's on her own for another hour.

"Yeah," Jay slumps, flinching when she tosses the old tire with an irritated yell, "Yeah I deserve that."

"He was up all night, unpacking and working on schematics." Val spits out, hefting two new tires up in each arm to attach to the car and finish her up. "His phone was dead, and Sam and Tucker were forcing him to bed when I left an hour ago."

"Okay," Jay breathes out, slow, relieved. "Alright."

"We just got Anita's Mazda, banged up and in need of some TLC." Val tosses a nut at his head. "Work on that, let Danny sleep for a while before you storm our apartment with whatever sappy shit you think will make up for it."

Jay rubs his head, where the nut had hit him, huffing. But he takes off his jacket, heads towards the locker room to no doubt grab some coveralls, mumbling.

"What was that?" Val starts letting the jack down, ready to test the air in the tires.

"I said," Jay pouts, "That we will be talking about the Hood thing later."

Val rolls her eyes. "You are not fucking subtle."

"Red Huntress says what?" Jay snarks, disappearing through the door.

And you know what? That's fair.

Mechanic!Val AU, but make it gay and sapphic.

ya'll can thank the HH discord for this one. Specifically the menace known as @clockwayswrites (and @impyssadobsessions for the art that inspired the damn thing)

Dead on Main and with some future Val/Steph >)

also @belfry-ghost did a doodle for this AU and everyone should go love on his art. Val's so unf.

===

Val’s pretty sure her new boss Jay is actually a crime lord.

She’s pretty sure he’s The Crime Lord, actually. She’s like, 98% sure she works for Red Hood now, and she’s low key mad about it. She squints at the man now, with his white streak and almost imperceptible green sheen to his eyes. 

The problem is that Val did perceive it. Because she used to date a guy whose baby blue eyes changed ever so slightly in the same way. Thinking about Danny makes her even madder.

To be clear, she’s not mad about Red Hood himself. 

She’s just mad that, of all the mechanic shops in all of Crime Alley, she just had to work for her ex-boyfriend’s third place Hall Pass pick. It also makes her miss her friends way more, and Val is hardly what one would call a well-adjusted woman, so she’s mad about it.

She huffs as she lifts the hood of the second car she’s working on today. Being a mechanic wasn’t really on the docket for Val’s life goals, nor was being in Gotham, but she got a full ticket ride on Wayne Foundation scholarships, and honestly? 

Gotham is Amity Park Lite: Gargoyles and Furries Edition. 

Between a full ride to Gotham U and being stuck at Elmerton Community College? The choice was easy. 

So here she is, working for the resident Crime Lord in his civvies. 

Jay pays good, teaches her what she needs to know, and bonus: he sometimes helps with her English Literature class. He’s flexible on hours, and she’s even got rudimentary insurance. 

All in All?  It could be worse—she could still be working for Vlad, after all. 

It's the little things.

[nanyoky]

HAD ONE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH AND NOW TIME FOR THE BIG SHOW

OH god it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE. our core four pairs have broken up, fp is about to die and it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE

mary booked a singles cruise so i guess they couldn’t get molly ringwald for more eps this season

yay my girl polly’s back for a presumably horrifying dream sequence

That Kubrick-esque centered shot of Hood!santa climbing over the couch back????? *kisses fingers like cartoon italian chef*

Cheryl still EXPECTS her mother to put out jason’s stocking and demands to know what such a tiny candycane is doing in their home because she is still GRIEVING but still SO MUCH . this is what the death of a twin looks like take fuckin note marvel

Also nana rose didn’t die in the fire? so that’s nice.

“86,000″ “what- dollars?” like the hospital in smalltown usa might charge people in pesos or forint- godbless you archie

“Kevin’s secret santa has a 20$ limit” “Kevin needs to chill” no, v, YOU need to chill. or rather don’t. because we love you so much.

“Havent you heard? we’re still friends!” “oh yeah. isnl’t everyone?” i love these girls almost as much as the lund and byerly’s checkout lady who never judges my wednesday night sale sushi runs

fp looks so thin without his jacket and warm vestiges i’m worried about him is he taking his vitamins eating his spinach if he has been surviving on hot pockets and beer since he got out i will be so cross with him

“BOY.” i’m DISTRAUGHT. fp and jughead are living together again and we’re finally getting to see what that looks like and it’s exactly as heartbreaking as we knew it would be

also fp wears his wallet with a stylish chain that goes from his pocket to his beltloop because it’s apparently 2008 in that trailer

“Couples massage.... thanks” “You can go with betty!” audience: YES PLEASE.

also who the fuck would do a couples massage with their highschool boyfriend- veronica lodge that’s who, but who ELSE.

archie didn’t spend any money on his gift and it is obviously the ebst one int he exchange and we love him

MOOSE AND MIDGE ARE HERE TO MAKE THINGS WEIRD FOR KEVIN (HOPEFULLY)

REGGIE *SPRINTS* TO HUG MOOSE AND THE SHIP I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED EMERGES

oh dear. mr. svenson. of course i love that betty and co. know the janitor at their school’s name. is that normal? i went to an enormous highschool- i barely knew my teacher’s names half the time. but i imagine it’s very sweet and very betty of her.

oh god jughead came to riverdale high for the gift exchange because he’s a good dude. a good dude.

his little SMILE when he feels how heavy it is is the most boyish he’s looked since the scene where we find out fp is his dad in the drive in episode and I’M NOT OKAY

veronica giving archie an expensive engraved watch is CLASS COMMENTARY and it is very good of archie to try to explain that to her calmly and without accusation or bitterness i don’t know if i would handle it that well cuz fun fact i once accused a guy of making me into Pygmalion because he tried to take me to a restaurant with multiple spoons

jughead wants to help but now sweetpea has replaced joaquin as the unreasonably beautiful surrogate son fp feels more comfortable putting in danger than his own kid help

what is the point of showing cheryl is interested in buying a tree? other than maybe she’s going to spend more than her mom can afford now??? or that she’s back at archie now that josie is weirded out by her possessive obsessive tendencies? not sure what the point of that was

nice reverse zoom/dolly into a dutch angle on this modest janitor house

the parole officer calls him “jughead” that is all

hermione and hiram being deliberately flirty in front of veronica after she and hermione had that talk about loving one’s partner

“Since when are you a communist *deliberate eyeroll at hiram*” i still can’t tell whether season 1!hermione or season 2!hermione is the act and i’m still RIVETED

okay it was to show she’s just spending a bunch of money to piss off penelope who coincidentally, is wearing a WINNER of an outfit rn damn son i have that but like- not as good cuz my black lace sheath is from target

not to take credit away from cheryl’s high quality cherry sweater

“you should have drowned them at birth like a basket of kittens” NANA ROSE. NANA FUCKIN ROSE. COMIN IN HOT FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

i honestly don’t know if it’s ever stated if nana rose is penelope’s mom or clifford’s but judging purely on penelope’s eyeroll and non-verbal expression of “UGG. MOTHERRRRR” i’mma say her’s.

betty pulls her sweater over her hands when approaching her mother because how often did alice tug roughly at young!betty’s clothes to make sure she was PICTURE PERFECT at all times

we all knew that it was going to be a finger right we all knew

and of course she only tells archie because this is betty cooper we’re talking about

“would the sisters talk to us?” “pft- they better” betty’s gunna beat up a nun

also my first assumption is that the janitor’s sin is pointing out the wrong guy to the lynch mob??? could be wrong but it seems kinda odd that archie isn’t bringing up that part of the story

the lodges have the same “christmas classics” cd as my mom because of course they do

the fact that veronica finds the deed to pop’s and doesn’t react in shock or anger but sits back in her dad’s leather office chair and crosses her legs to think things over is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

jughead knows fp too well to apologize for thinking badly of him and the duffles and IT HURTS SO GOOD

“maybe this isn’t gunna work- us living together” FP ISN’T A DAD HE’S A BIG BROTHER AND I KEEP SAYING IT BUT IT KEEPS HURTING EVERY TIME IT’S PROVEN TRUE

oh god jughead is calling on the next gen serpents for help this isn’t going to end well, son

“take out penny” take out? TAKE OUT???? TAKE OUT?!?!?! JUGGIE. take a nap.

sweet pea and fangs are either the bestest of bros or engaged to be wedded i can’t decipher their eye communication exactly

the serpents are FACTIONING and this CANNOT end well

“it was a group of men... and one woman” FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES

next gen serpents are going to fuck everything up and i can’t take jughead trying to do an intimidating under the brows stare seriously

we all think that nun is the drug dealer lady in the wheelchair right?

“white with a cherry red stripe” THAT’S MY GIRL. THAT’S MY NANA ROSE. BACK WITH PLOT AND BACKSTORY. BATTING FOR THE TEAM. NANA ROSE BLOSSOM.

“the truth” THE LODGE TRUTH. HOOO BOY. *pours another drink*

OH MY GOD IS HE CUTTING IT OFF JUGHEAD. JUGHEAD. BETTY HAS BEEN A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU.

i just pictured fp’s face if he saw this and did the most ridiculous puppy whine

“oh noooo. no girls allowed” NANA ROSE BLOSSOM. MY MAIN GIRL.

founding families. what did i say.

hefty sigh at barchie kiss. like- i’d be more into this if they actually built it and didn’t keep breaking up and putting everyone back together back and forth

oh cheryl saw- THAT i’m interested in

they’re not going to tell us the lodge truth because they’re bastards

penny didn’t show up for your pickup, did she?” “no.... no she didn’t.” JUGHEAD IS THE PARENT AND FP IS THE KID AND IT IS HORRIBLE AND PERVERSE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

“this life you tried to protect me from? i’m proud of it!” *WHALE NOISES* FP’S FACE. FP’S *FACE*. THIS IS THE LOOSE HENRIAD CRIME FAMILY AU I’VE BEEN HURTING FOR.

oh god there’s one black guy in the picture please don’t tell me our sweet angel pop was involved in this how old is pop he’s not old enough right tell me he had no part in this

*DISTRESS SCREEEEE*

UNMASK HIM BETTY UNMASK HIM ARCHIE IS FINE HE’S A BIG STRONG BOY WHO CAN TAKE A LITTLE DIRT IN HIS FACE

oh god oh god oh god did sheriff keller shoot bh so he can’t talk oh god oh god oh god

this is too easy and we all know it i’m still pulling my multiple killers theory and i haven’t given up on shady!keller yet

weird sound editing trying to give studio quality to josie and kevin just jammin acapella outside a diner

WHO THE FUCK IS PENELOPE SNOGGIN ON XMAS MORN?!?!?!

YASSS JUGHEAD GETS HER A SIGNED FIRST EDITION OF BELOVED WHICH I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE BETTY SAID SHE LOVES TONI MORRISON IN EPISODE ONE. well- not exactly this. but that IS one of my alltime favorite books and a huge influence on my own gothic writing so to see it referenced on this show is just GRAND

we all know it’s not over juggie, we all know.

Episode Scorecard:

Number of sick beat drop rhythmic editing moments: none

Episode hair MVP: Nana rose’s stripe was featured as a plot point and is always of the highest quality

Do I still miss Joaquin: yes

Episode outfit MVP: Penelope’s black lace sheath

Cast/Crew shoutout: There were some really solid cinematography moments, but I would have liked to see better editing? pacing was a bit rough.

[michellehaha]

☻

 I guess heartbreak is just a part of growing up.

And I’ve only just gotten to the part of “life” where I’m supposed to learn that now. But because I’m just now approaching it, it feels more like the things that matter most to me - you know, the things that really truly matter but you just don’t realize it on a day to day basis - are being taken away.

With the news of Avicii’s passing today, I was taken back a bit more than people probably would expect. It’s a celebrity. Just another celebrity. Celebrities have been passing away unexpectedly quite often lately. It could be drugs. Unknown health conditions. Whatever. We never knew them personally, so why does it matter? Why did it matter so much to me when I heard it? Why does it still matter so much to me, and why do I feel so hurt by his passing?

I continued to think about it. I’m currently listening to his BBC 1 essential mix. I looked back at our pictures from 2010. I remembered the moment we first laid eyes on him. We didn’t know who he was. We knew his name, and that was about it. He wasn’t big yet. It was the middle of the day, maybe noon. He wasn’t on the main stage. There weren’t too many people watching him - plenty of room for us to prance around. But as his songs continued playing in the background, my thoughts became feelings, and the one feeling that manifested was simple: it was happiness.

And then I remembered a time, not too long ago, when I was sitting in the car, riding home from somewhere. Jason was driving. I don’t know where we were coming from, but I asked myself this question... if someone were to ask me to describe one instance where I could say I was truly utterly purely happy, when was it? I don’t remember if I came to a decisive answer, or a single occasion, but I remember my thoughts flowing like this:

Society expects you to say some bullshit like “my wedding day” or “the day so-and-so proposed” or “the day we bought our first house” (albeit the day we finally got our keys was pretty thrilling and might be one of the top happiest moments in recent days). But my wedding day was far from the happiest days. I’m talking about PURE JOY. ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY HAPPY, DON’T CARE ABOUT WHAT ANYONE THINKS, JUST YOU AGAINST THE WORLD. And the only moments I could think of were the moments that took me right back to EDC 2010 and EDC 2011. 

Um, yeah.

Another question to myself: is there a song that can transport you back to a moment in time, almost instantaneously? and if so, what is it, and what moment does it take you to? The first song is Teenage Crime by Adrian Lux. It takes me back to the moment we stepped foot in front of Avicii’s stage in 2010. Midday sun, beaming down on our sweaty heads. Double fisting Dos Equis. Spinning in circles - we were, not the world. The second song is Alright by Marcus Schossow. Right to the back of Cosmic Gate’s stage in the hot, dry, Vegas wind in 2011. Tall can of Heineken in my hand, camera in the other. The third, Departures by Robbie Rivera. We’re walking across the lawn in 2011, lights flashing, having just drank an obscene amount of an unknown drink that I promised I would never drink again. But we’re dancing across that lawn, so was everyone else.

So the common thread was, we were always happy. And maybe I’m not making any sense anymore and this thought process has become super convoluted... but I’m just so distraught over his passing because someone who basically IGNITED and created music that continued, throughout the years, to bring me so much happiness has basically been taken away from me, and so many others. I listened to his music throughout the rest of 2010. I was still in undergraduate school. I was still taking pre-requisite classes at community college. I was beginning pharmacy school. I was struggling throughout pharmacy school. I went to multiple EDC’s with pharmacy school friends. I drove endless hours listening to Avicii’s songs and his podcasts kept me company during those car rides... hell, they’ve STILL been keeping me company on my car rides to work now, even after graduation and finding a job and buying a new home and getting married. His music was my life’s soundtrack. I grew up with his music. His artistic creation was the soundtrack to my life, ups and downs... whether I realized it or not, he was there in the background day in and day out.

And now, that’s been taken away. And to some people music may not be that significant, but I’ve received so much joy from so many of these moments that have stemmed from what he’s created that it literally breaks my heart to lose such an amazing and talented soul. I probably sound silly. Silly random person, sad about losing someone they’ve never met or known. So many other issues qualms and struggles in life to deal with.

---

Which takes me to my next heartbreak. I love Portland. It’s no secret, seeing as we’ve been there every year the past 3 years. So when the fires raged through the Columbia River Gorge last year, I sat here as tears ran down my face as I saw pictures of the gorge in flames being posted on the PNW Waterfalls group that I follow. This place has held and will always hold a sacred place in my heart. It’s where we’ve always found our escape - it’s almost like our sanctuary - a home away from home, but where things are better and we don’t have to worry about life’s responsibilities. The scenery is greener, the air is cleaner, and to see that destroyed... and to read about why and how it got destroyed just enraged me. Something that meant so much to me, and to so many others, was gone just like that and will likely take decades to restore (and not to mention so much effort). I was so heartbroken. And while Winter has brought some of it back to life, it just isn’t the same, and it won’t be for a while. Why do good things always get taken away?

___

This post was interrupted by approximately 3 day’s time, which in my mind felt more like a day and half’s time, but I’ve lost my train of thought. All I know is that the third and final heartbreak - the one that hits the deepest - is the one that is probably the most seemingly “superficial”. Something that’s planted in young little girls’ minds by Disney videos, and century-old fairy tales - you know, the ones that instill dreams of falling madly in love, and planning a wedding. Oh, the wedding, what a joyous and grandiose idea. It was always just an idea, and in my very own universe, I think it should have honestly stayed one. I received all of the signs from the universe telling me a large party was the exact thing I didn’t need in life (at least my own life) - from the engagement to the very end - horrible, news littered this whole “wedding” timeline. It’s left me with a such a bitter taste in my mouth and I’ve grown very resentful of this “beautiful” wedding. And even the magic of this once in a lifetime experience was taken away from me - my childhood innocence and naivety couldn’t even have this one. Nope, I had to always be aware of life’s harsh realities. Aware of how we’re all just one breath away from death. Aware of practicalities much larger and more important than a ~party~. So, I’m bitter and heartbroken that I couldn’t even enjoy this one experience in life that so many little girls look forward to. I had to grow up stay strong - keep it together - keep my head on my shoulders... all the while planning a huge party, for who? People I never even met before? Who were all of these people? How do you even say their name? WHAT WAS THE POINT IN ALL OF THIS?! WHAT WAS I EVEN DOING?! WHY WAS I WASTING SO MUCH OF MY TIME&ENERGY&LIFE DOING SOMETHING I NO LONGER HAD ANY EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IN?! All I wanted was my family and friends to be happy. I wanted us to be happy. I just wanted us all to be healthy. And together. Screw the rest. Screw everyone else. Who the fuck needs cake and flowers? Society really is fucked up and it took a lot of time and money for me to realize it. This was life regret #3.

I wanted so badly to run away. You & I. I was in an emotionally bad place.

But the heartbreak is, weddings aren’t what they’re all cracked up to be. No matter how many years of your life you’ve invested in your Pinterest board - none of it mattered anymore... but hindsight is always 20/20.