#There was a video but to avoid spoilers i didn't post it

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Character design, the archer lutong鹿童(the deer boy) from NeZha2: Mo Tong Nao Hai (the demon child's havoc in the sea)

[burntheedges]

Pas de Deux Masterlist

Din Djarin x f!reader | 18+ | ~40k words | complete 1/15 main masterlist | ao3

summary: When Din Djarin – principal dancer at Concordia Ballet Company and generational talent in the classical style – suddenly left CBC and joined the Nevarro Ballet Theater mid-season, it shocked the ballet world. You never would have guessed that he would change your life, too.

full fic tags/warnings (spoilers!): modern AU, ballet AU, fluff, angst, flirting, dancing, lots of ballet terms (I’ll define things/link videos/etc. -- see below), misunderstandings, character study, romance, pet names (sweetheart, beautiful), lots of tension, later: smut, kissing, grinding, fingering, p-in-v sex, creampie, each chapter will have its own tags, Din lifts reader (see note below about reader)

a/n: welcome to the Din ballet fic!! I started writing this in April and it’s finally finished! I’ll post a new chapter every Wednesday, there are 14 total. There’s some smut coming but it’ll be a while, folks. See my notes below about reader in this fic and ballet in general. Thank you @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta, as always!! This fic is so much better because of you. 🧡 And thank you to @almostfoxglove for reading over it and confirming I didn't forget all my ballet, lol. 🩰

note about reader: in this fic you’re a ballet dancer, first soloist at Nevarro Ballet Theater company. I haven’t mentioned the reader’s body size or shape (or hair) basically at all, even to the point of avoiding clothing (except for costumes), but I understand the image that goes along with ballet – I danced for almost 20 years. Din does lift you many times. Please feel free to picture whatever you want, but I know that this might seem more limited. You also have a best friend named Adrian who is in the company with you. I never specified age, but to make first soloist most would be in at least their early 20s. Din is 27.

Chapter list and notes about ballet under the cut! Comment or reblog to join the tag list. 🥰🩰

Chapter List

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

** Bonus: Amazing art of Din by @kenobiwanx!! **

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

...

some notes about ballet: I will share links to videos and such as much as possible, but here are some definitions to get us started – principal, (first) soloist, corps de ballet, variation, and class vs. rehearsal:

Principal - this is the highest level a dancer (of any gender) can reach in a company. Dancers are ‘promoted’ through the ranks. Principals usually have exceptional technique and artistry and can perform solos, pas de deux (partnering), headlining and/or the most challenging roles, etc. (e.g., the white (Odette) and black (Odile) swans in Swan Lake, both usually performed by one principal). Sometimes dancers are hired directly in as principals (like Din, in this fic). Smaller companies might have 5-6 principals, while larger ones could have as many as 20. Nevarro is somewhere between medium and large and has around 14 principals, including Din.

First Soloist - not every company has this rank, but it’s in between principal and soloist. Nevarro has 4 but they are counted among the soloists (12-14ish total). Soloists are often understudies for larger parts, and first soloists would do the same. In this fic reader is a first soloist, just promoted at the start of the season.

Soloist - this is sort of a middle level, for dancers who are doing very well and have proven themselves capable of taking on bigger roles. Many ballets have multiple roles, including supporting roles in the narrative, for soloists and principals to showcase many dancers’ talents. A smaller company might have 5-6 soloists, and a larger company might have as many as 20. (Larger companies also do more shows.) Nevarro is somewhere between medium and large and has around 12-14 soloists, including first soloists.

Corps de ballet - this is the lowest/starting level in a company. It’s where most would start from and has the largest number of dancers – these are the dancers who come out on stage in large groups or form the background unnamed roles in narrative scenes (like a party). Reader started in the corps and was promoted to soloist and then first soloist.

Variation - a solo dance, usually a piece from a larger ballet (e.g., the Sugar Plum Fairy in the Nutcracker). We say ‘variation’ because there are many ballets that have been choreographed differently by multiple people in the ballet world (e.g., there are famous versions of the Nutcracker by Petipa, Gorsky, Balanchine, Nureyev, Baryshnikov… and more). So there can be multiple variations of a solo from a single ballet, and more can be created or altered, etc. But in general the term just means solo.

Class vs. rehearsal - most companies distinguish between ‘class’ and ‘rehearsal’. Class is for the whole company and focused on improving technique. It’s quick and often repetitive and everyone sort of knows what to do. Most people would have ‘their’ spot at the barre and fall into a typical order for going across the floor. After class, most would go into multiple hours of rehearsal, PT, strength training, etc., depending on whether it was a performance day or not. Most companies are rehearsing for more than one performance at a time, so they might have a longer rehearsal for the show coming up this or next weekend, and a shorter one for another performance a bit farther away. But in the days leading up to a show, that show’s rehearsals would probably take over. This can vary by company. On show days, most would have fewer rehearsals with a 1-2 hour break before the call time to get ready.

Season - companies have 'seasons' which just refers to their plan for shows/schedule for the upcoming year. They might refer to like a fall season and a spring season, or the might have a full year schedule with different parts (fall/winter/spring), or they might have only a spring season that runs into early summer. It depends on the company and the size! In this fic Nevarro has a fall season and a spring season, but they tend to think about it as a full year for contracts/etc. They would have 3-4 big shows planned (think Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Giselle, Onegin, etc.) in each part of the season (so, 3-4 in fall and 3-4 in spring). And then they'd fill in the gaps in the schedule with "mixed programs", which are programs with multiple smaller ballets or pieces that feature a lot of dancers. So a mixed program might have a 20 minute Balanchine ballet, a pas de deux, a full corps piece from a larger ballet, and a piece for like 8 dancers. or something. Mixed programs are often when choreographers-in-residence and on staff get to debut their own work.

[leliwardens]

ah...thank you kindly for sharing all of this.

@exhausted-archivist hi this is its own post now

what do you mean cut rescue mission.

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 3 - "weirdo" and vash's pronoun switching

disclaimer: my jp reading posts are all for triangulation purposes and nothing else. scanlating mangas is tough work. @-@ i know this.

"Weirdo"

the word 'weirdo' in 2024 english carries connotations of neutral-bad or positive depending on the context of the speaker. depending on how one curates their internet space, weirdo often leans more positively with the same meaning as eccentric, but not always.

however, but in JP, "weird" is more specific and often negative. there's the well known, hentai 変態 (ie. deviant, pervert, freak, extremely negative in tone), and in this case, kimochi warui 気持ち悪い (gross, off-putting, bad vibes). eccentrics are more as 変人 henjin and carries a more neutral tone.

in this panel here papa nebreska uses 気持ち悪い in katakana キモチワルイ in reaction to vash busting his ass saving people and putting out of harms' way. vash's vibes are so off putting to this wanted man he's actually creeped out.

this is particularly interesting to me bc the english translation didn't end up portraying how utterly weird vash's mindset is fully. it wasnt until wolfwood points out how flawed vash's pacifist mindset do i get a proper frame of reference of norms in this world, but i might be having skill issues in english comprehension. ;w;

Pronoun switching

quick. 俺 Ore! 僕 Boku! 私 Watashi! they all mean "I", and there's 2 spectrum of expressions going on here thats commonly believed. 1st being Masculinity to Femininity. what's the 2nd?

the answer is... Rudeness/Assertiveness to Politeness. and gosh does vash switch a lot between Boku and Ore in the first 4 chapters of this manga lmao.

(to be clear, while i am aware of trans hc thats very popular in the fandom, im not at all diminishing or talking about gender expression specifically. im talking about what vash is presenting himself as in context.)

so to perhaps oversimplify this, in JP the idea of politeness and hierarchy is so super duper important, its very built into the language itself. and Japanese is a very high context language. if someone of a higher or equal standing uses "Ore", its totally fine. but if someone of a lower standing uses "Ore", they've committed a social faux pas.

as an obvious example, if a fresh new employee approaches his Boss with "Ore", he's potentially getting dressing down in the company. maybe in front of his coworkers. if this employee forgoes polite speech (keigo) and uses a too Assertive and Casual speech, they've Really Fucked Up and are one foot out the door.

this is also tied up in gender to some extent, hence why girls using Ore is incredibly uncommon, but guys would use Watashi in certain contexts such as talking to their Boss. (woo woo the forces of hierarchy/patriarchy... or something.)

so. vash switches his pronouns for the same effect. when he uses Ore, he's making himself sound more assertive and confident. when he uses Boku, he's often making himself sound less threatening, smaller, open, and trying to avoid conflict.

sound familiar?

bc if you translated all of that into a character design instead of relying on just jp pronouns, we'd get TriStamp Vash.

slight spoilers, but this is even true in one of the tensest moments between vash and wolfwood, where the latter provokes vash and tears into his pacifism ideology. vash sticks with boku in this scene as he says his piece.

if he ever uses watashi, it's bc he wants to be polite straight out of the gate with an air of formality. (this is japanese manners and the proper approach to talking to strangers. mainly to get a feel for each others standing without offense until context changes.)

i also wanna point out maybe something obvious here but.

real life pronoun switching in japanese is a COMMON thing. no one ever really sticks to 1 pronoun bc of Good Manners and the aforementioned hierarchical systems in place. it is only mostly in anime/manga and video games where characters overly prefer 1 due to this being a good shorthand for characterization. this being how rude or polite they are, and in some cases, Gender.

[protect-namine]

(yingdu episode 4 spoilers)

as of YE4, here's my understanding of the timelines so far. this is just from lu guang's time hopping experience. I still think time itself might be broken. years still don't line up, things happen in the incorrect months, etc. we are not fixing those. we're just looking at lu guang's diving points, and how we got from S1 to yingdu then back to S1 again.

the important things we learned from YE4 are:

lu guang was supposed to meet liu xiao somewhere else (not the bridon airport)

vein kills cheng xiaoshi some time after the doudou case, but before lu guang gets stabbed by red eyes

cheng xiaoshi in S1 did not discover his abilities through the yingdu event

possible timeline of events

original timeline (timeline A) happens. presumably, the overseas trip still happened and cheng xiaoshi discovered his dive ability there with lu guang by his side. house of the hotheaded probably were not messing around back then.

potentially, though not certainly, cheng xiaoshi dies at some point (not due to vein) and lu guang dives back in time to prevent this. this could happen once or multiple times (timelines A-1 to A-n). I don't actually think this is the case. I think vein killing cheng xiaoshi is the first time he dies, because lu guang gives a lot importance to 091305. however, I'm open to the possibility that cheng xiaoshi could've already died before vein got to him (I'm thinking of the many injured xiaoshis in the XƎTЯOVerthink video, so this bullet point is just to cover those possibilities).

at some point, lu guang is able to reach the first half of season one events (timeline B, potentially still timeline A). for the sake of this post, let's call it timeline B. they do the emma case*, the ouyang case, and the doudou case, among many others. they have NOT done the xu shanshan case yet. or if they have, they did not do any of the liu min-related plot yet.

by now, either in this timeline or in previous ones, lu guang has already met liu xiao. (YE4 lu guang suggests that they weren't supposed to meet liu xiao in the airport, so they must have met somewhere else).

the date is september 13, 2021. still in timeline B (season one first half), someone enters the time photo studio as a client. later on, vein kills cheng xiaoshi and qiao ling. and xiao li too, I guess?

lu guang may have dived at least twice to try to prevent this specific event, but still failed (timeline B-1 and B-2) (this is just to cover the animation discrepancies in the vein attack). it'a also possible qiao ling died in these timelines instead of in timeline B, as a result of lu guang trying to change things.

at some point, he dives into the sunset photo he took during the time he met cheng xiaoshi at the basket ball court. the year is 2019, somehow, instead of 2018. we now enter the yingdu timeline (timeline C). house of the hotheaded trio are messing around, cheng xiaoshi discovers how to dive for the first time alone (without lu guang). lu guang is tired, traumatized, and has no control over these changes.

this one is speculation, since we don't know how yingdu ends yet. but I think it's highly likely that lu guang will dive one more time to burn the bridon photo (timeline D) so cheng xiaoshi wouldn't have to experience yingdu arc.

screenshot from this pv.

it's important that cheng xiaoshi avoids yingdu for S1 to happen (again).

because lu guang avoids yingdu arc, cheng xiaoshi learns about his dive ability later in life, post-university, likely through lu guang himself so he could control the situation. we see this in both his nightmare in YE4 and cheng xiaoshi's flashback in S1E6.

this would also explain how cheng xiaoshi in S1 didn't know he could clap by himself into a photo until S1E9, since he had always assumed he needed lu guang to activate his powers.

and finally, this would also explain how cheng xiaoshi still doesn't know what happened to his parents. he believes they'll still come back one day, which is why he refuses to move out of the shop.

cheng xiaoshi and lu guang still go to some overseas trip (qiao ling mentions this in the doudou arc) but it's not clear if they still went to yingdu. maybe they went to a different country? or another set of events happen instead of what we saw in yingdu?

the year is 2021. we re-enter the events of season one, but this time from timeline D. but with drastic changes, because lu guang isn't the only one messing around with timelines, apparently.

some changes in timeline D from timeline B:

in april, someone spied on the time photo studio trio and created dossiers/files about them. most likely candidate is liu xiao.

*emma's case should've happened in september (during the third fiscal quarter), but it happens in april. it's up in the air if emma still died in timeline B or not, and if the liu siblings were involved originally or just now in timeline D. if emma did die originally in timeline B, cheng xiaoshi might not have noticed yet before vein killed him. also, I think it's interesting that in S1E1 lu guang said, "you didn't do anything stupid, right?" when he saw emma's death on the news. he was asleep when cheng xiaoshi sent the text, so he wasn't able to keep him in line during that particular moment of the dive. did cheng xiaoshi send the text in timeline B?

doudou's case, which they also previously solved by september (since they solved it before cheng xiaoshi's death via vein), is now solved in october. in the grand scheme of things, this one is actually... fine? doudou has been kidnapped for three years so it's not time sensitive when they save him a month early or later. how they found out the case may have been different in the two timelines though. it's possible the dad just found the time photo studio a month later than usual. why though?

lu guang also somehow avoided the vein attack node in this timeline.

new events take place in timeline D that lu guang hasn't done before: xu shanshan case that leads to red eyes, and the entirety of season 2. lu guang gets stabbed and he thinks, for a moment, that maybe he really can change a death node with this event. this should take them all the way to december 2021 or january 2022 (most of S2 happened in october, then they spent two months in the hospital after the tunnels).

if the above events are correct, there are four open-ended questions left:

I am not entirely sure, but I am open to the possibility that there's another dive that happened during season 2 (did lu guang ever use his hospital picture from the episode hostage?)

which of these dives does the S2 finale dive refer to?

there is one mystery that I don't know where to place yet: someone is clearly diving as cheng xiaoshi during yingdu arc (timeline C). we don't know how, or who (we assume it's cheng xiaoshi for now, because that's the simplest answer, but that's not confirmed. we just know his eyes are gold in the vivian case). if so, why? yingdu shouldn't have led to S2 because YE4 implies that it's important that S1 cheng xiaoshi did not discover his dive powers in yingdu. so why dive back to the yingdu timeline? does the yingdu arc function like season 1, where we'll revisit these scenes again in another timeline? why? I wonder if this is how lu guang decided to get rid of the photo.

as always: why is time broken? 2018 is now 2019. april is september, and now september is october.

mmmkay lmk if I missed anything else. but yeah, I think lu guang must've gone through the first half of S1 twice already. I wonder how far along cheng xiaoshi was in his character arc when he died. if he did the earthquake arc by then, he should've started his journey of accepting "past or future, let it be."

[dyktvideogamesfx]

Rules and the like!

Song poll blog inspired by things like @doyoulikethis-videogame-song, @doyoulikethissong-poll and Guess the Game.

The general gist is similar to most if not all of these blogs in which a small clip of SFX from a video game will be isolated and posted here, with polls for people to vote on how well known it is.

This page'll most likely be updated the more this kinda stuff goes on.

Should go without saying but transphobes, aphobes and exclusionists are not welcome here.

Submissions are: CLOSED

General FAQ:

Do you take submissions: Yes! Though only when submissions are open. This will be through a google form that will open and close periodically, whenever I have the time!

Will there be scheduled posts at specific times?: Right now I'm scheduling around 3 posts at 4pm GMT every day, though this may change with my own schedule/if submissions are running low.

I'll do my best to keep it going! :D

What is your name/pronouns: You can call me Smudge. He/They. Nice to meet you :3

Can we say the answer in the tags?: I would prefer if people didn't as this goes against the spirit of the game- However, very vague hints are fine by me! Be warey of spoilers in the notes if you want to play along!

My submission wasn't posted?: I will post every submission I get to the best of my ability but if I cannot locate or find the isolated audio I will have skip as game noise can warp or disturb the sound itself. I will do my best to find it isolated beforehand, but if I cannot then it must be skipped, apologies!

A good resource for finding game SFX is The Sound Resource but unfortunatly not every game has a clean rip for its sounds!

Can we submit voicelines?: This is tricky, mostly yes.

I would say things like Hornet's "SHAW" from Hollow Knight count for this blog and I would accept them vs something like a clip from Cave Johnson's Lemon Rant I would not accept! Use your best judgement when submitting, but voicelines and clips are not specifically off of the table.

This SFX was used somewhere else!: This blog will run both on submissions and generally what the sound is more associated with rather than its original source! Not every SFX is original and some are used from specific sound libraries. The Roblox OOF, for example, comes from a game named Messiah - however, since it is more well known for its inclusion in Roblox, thats what this blog will use as its source if thats how its submitted.

I will also be going off of what people say is the Context/Source for a game so sorry if that is ever wrong! If it is entirely, 100% incorrect in terms of where its from you can send me a message and I'll change it!

Can you tag scary/sounds from horror games?: The point of the game is listening to unexpected sounds, and "scary" is an extremely subjective description. I will do my best to avoid posting loud jumpscare sounds or other sounds that I think are unpalatable to a general audience, but beyond that I don't intend on tagging specific types of sounds at this time.

How many SFX can we submit in the form?: I would prefer 4 per person, at maximum, if you submit multiple from the same series I will most likely space them out across a few days/weeks.

You didn't answer my ask/did you recieve my ask?: I tend to be doing other things while this blog runs on a queue, I try my best to answer and give the best responses I can for this blog to make it more accessible/comfortable and for everyone to contribute to this fun little game!

However- if you've noticed I haven't answered your ask, it's not personal. It may be due to it already being answered here, too spoilery concerning specific polls, inappropriate subjects for this blog or I may just keep asks in my inbox if they're especially nice/kind to look back on!

Can we add XYZ to the voting options?: I am quite happy with the three options as they are! I prefer not to muddy polls with very specific options, making votes a little more strict. Generally all 3 cover everything they should.

This sound is too loud/quiet!:

In all seriousness, if a sound is genuinely too loud, shoot me an ask. I'll see if its appropriate to add a warning!

Active Tags:

#open vote : Polls that are open

#closed vote : Polls that have been closed and the SFX source revealed

#dykasks : Asks for the blog.

#off-topic : For anything off topic - may be related to the blog or an update/announcement!

[cheesy09]

[CN] Kiro's In the Heart of Destiny Mind's Quest (1/3)

🌸 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that hasn't been released on the EN server yet! 🌸

[Note: This date was translated with the help of Google Translate :>]

Trigger Warning: This Mind's Quest explores mature sexual themes, themes of violence, and trauma. Avoid reading this date if you do not meet the game's required 17+ age rating.

I highly recommend reading the Main Story chapters (at least season 1), as well as Kiro's R&S: Top Experimental Subject before reading the Mind's Quest.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 1]

MC: This year, each department has completed many important goals. So during the Spring Festival, everyone should have a good rest. See you all next year...

Before I finish my summary, there is a knock on the door of the conference room. An employee from the business department walks in with an excited look on his face and his voice is so high, it's almost out of tune.

Staff: Boss! We received an email from Ms. Sarah! She is willing to give us her new work to produce!

MC: Who?

Staff: Who else? The queen of suspense, Sarah Pellegrini!

-

MC: ......"I sincerely hope that you can come to P Island, and I will do my best to be your host here.

MC: I will also discuss with you the film and television adaptation of my new book, Flower House*."

MC: Woohoo, Kiro, did you hear that?

Kiro: I heard it...

Through the mobile phone, Kiro's voice blends with the sound of the ship starting in my ears, sounding almost unreal.

As I turn up the volume, Kiro on the other end of the video call also zooms in.

At this moment, the sun shines brightly outside the ship on my side, while a bright moon hangs high outside the window on his side.

He leans back on the sofa and loosens the collar of his costume.

Kiro: [sulking] Honestly, you don't even read the emails I write to you so eloquently.

Kiro pouts in feigned dissatisfaction, and I smile sheepishly.

MC: I'm just so happy... After all, this is Ms. Sarah, the queen of suspense!

MC: You have no idea how many film and television companies around the world are eyeing her new book...

Kiro: I know I know—

Kiro drags out the last syllable of his sentence, and his tone becomes even more resentful.

Kiro: Because Nafei Film and Television also sent her an invitation letter.

MC: Nafei? The world's largest streaming media company?

Kiro: Uh-huh, they wrote "Kiro will star as the lead", "an estimated investment of tens of millions of dollars", as well as "Hollywood's top production team"...

Kiro: I didn't expect them to get bested by your team. They must be so depressed right now.

MC: Pfft, it doesn’t matter. Even if Mr. Kiro can’t be the leading actor for Nafei Films, he can still be the leading actor of [MC's Company Name].

Kiro: The leading man of [MC's Company Name]...

MC: What, you don't want to be one?

Kiro: Of course I do.

Kiro answers without hesitation, his eyebrows curved.

Kiro: Looking at it this way, you've become very powerful.

MC: Huh? Why do you say that all of sudden?

Kiro: I don’t know, it's just something that occurred to me and I wanted to say it.

Kiro moves the camera a little closer, and I am granted a much clearer view of his bright blue eyes.

Kiro: It feels like it was just yesterday that you invited me to help you save the endangered "Miracle Finder".

Kiro: Today, you're competing with the world's leading film and television companies.

Kiro: [affectionately] I… I’m really happy for you.

MC: After all, I have an international superstar boyfriend. So of course I have to work hard and strive for a career that will make him my permanent leading man!

Kiro: [almost resentfully] Mm, you work so hard, you have to go on a business trip to talk about work until the Spring Festival...

MC: Hahaha, so that's what you've been sulking about~

Seeing that Kiro is about to pout again, I quickly raise my hand to make a promise.

MC: Five days! I will finish the discussion within five days and come back to celebrate the Spring Festival with you!

Kiro: It’s a deal. If you don’t finish the discussion within five days, I will come to P Island and arrest you myself.

Kiro: You have to compensate Kiro for his "missing you fee", "loss of sharing delicious food fee", and "loss of kissing and hugging each other fee"!

We exchange a few words, and then Savin's voice sounds from his side. Kiro nods towards the camera and then turns to look at me.

Kiro: Savin has asked me to get to the shoot. I will video chat with you later when I have time.

MC: Okay, I'll hang up then.

Kiro: ....Wait a minute.

Kiro suddenly calls out to me. He opens his mouth hesitantly, and his expression grows more serious.

Kiro: It suddenly occurred to me that Ms. Sarah lives near Sicily?

Kiro: There's been some unrest there lately. There may be mafia activity. Please be careful when you get there, and feel free to contact me if anything happens.

Unrest? But as far as I can remember, I haven't seen any recent news about public security here.

A trace of doubt flashes through my mind, but I still nod and assure Kiro. Then, he reluctantly hangs up the phone.

I put away my phone and walk out of the cabin.

Although winter has arrived, the Mediterranean climate makes everything remain pleasant and comfortable.

Brushing away my hair, I watch the bow of the ship quickly cut through the surface of the sea, the ripples churning, and head towards the small island ahead of me.

-

P Island is not large in area, with only one small town on the island. The reefs and mountains embrace the locally-styled red tiles and white walls, making it resemble a secluded paradise.

Several of my colleagues and I follow the tourists off the boat. As soon as we arrive at the dock, we hear a cheerful female voice.

??: Ciao, MC.

I turn around and see a red-haired lady in a black dress waving at me with a smile.

MC: Ms. Sarah?

Sarah: It's me. I think you've seen my picture on the flaps of some books.

MC: Of course I have, but you look much younger and more energetic than in those pictures.

Ms. Sarah is not a writer who is keen on being in the spotlight. In the collection of news and interviews of her, she always appears as melancholy as her writing.

But at this moment, she is as cheerful and amiable as the midday sunshine in southern Italy.

Sarah: Oh, writers come out transformed after they finish up the hell of writing.

MC: Haha, I totally agree. Every time I finish a show, I feel like I’m reborn…

MC: However, it is precisely this "life and death" training that has lead us to meet here.

Sarah bursts into laughter and holds out a black-gloved hand towards me.

Sarah: Then, as someone who has also been "reborn after going through hell", I welcome you to P island.

-

We walk and talk with Ms. Sarah, and under her guidance, we arrive at a manor in the depths of town.

The manor is full of lush greenery and scattered flowers; it is obvious that it is carefully cared for by the owner every day. I let my eyes roam around the place.

MC: Did you get the idea for "Flower House" while you were tending to your own flower house?

Sarah: Honey, you're so funny.

Sarah smiles and shakes her head, looking forward.

Sarah: The inspiration for "Flower House" actually stems from an experience in my childhood.

Sarah: That experience was painful and has been haunting me ever since.

Sarah: But I thought it was time to face it and write it down, something like a farewell to that old thing.

Her voice gradually lowers, as if she has swallowed a sigh. I realize that I've said something wrong and quickly apologise to her.

MC: Sorry, I shouldn't have made such a joke before reading the novel...

Sarah: It's okay, I really like your sense of humor.

Sarah: In a moment, you will be able to see the outline and manuscript of "Flower House". You're going to be its first reader.

MC: That's great!

-

I ask the other employees to settle in and adjust to the time difference, while I myself am unable to wait to follow Sarah to the study.

Sarah hands me the manuscript and thoughtfully makes a cup of coffee for me.

At first, I am still able to drink the coffee and smile while appreciating the exquisite diction in the novel and the humor hidden in the dialogues.

But gradually, the corners of my mouth could no longer curl up, and only my fingertips continue flipping the pages silently.

MC: "The gardener said that in order to grow more beautiful flowers in the greenhouse, inferior varieties weren't needed..."

MC: "And then the flowers withered. Only I remained."

As the new generation queen of suspense, Sarah's greatest strength is that she's able to make people empathize with all the emotions of her protagonist. The tension, sadness, happiness...

At the same time, she also likes bringing up a pair of dark hands lurking in the shadows whenever the readers and the protagonist breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that all the truth has come to light.

These hands will gather the fog again and cause the protagonist to fall back into his childhood nightmare.

And in "Flower House", all of this finally comes to an end.

MC: "...I picked up the gardener's hatchet and walked towards him. And towards myself."

MC: This story is... so sad.

I close the manuscript and sigh.

MC: I originally thought that everything would end once the protagonist successfully avenged his childhood self... Why did he end his own life in the end?

Sarah: Because the pain of being trapped in the Flower House can never be relieved, only avenged.

Sarah: Those who have fallen into darkness can never be saved. The only way out is through death.

Sarah lowers her eyes. Her tone is light, as if she is saying something that is completely justified.

Is it true that there can never be liberation and salvation?

My heart aches because of her words, and a bright golden color suddenly flashes through my mind—

What about him?

Does Kiro, who was once in a similar situation as the protagonist in the book, also suffer and struggle in the same way?

Did I really pull him out of that darkness?

Thinking of this, I frown and bite my lower lip. But Sarah seems to misunderstand my expression and quickly leans forward.

Sarah: Sorry, did my words affect you?

MC: No, no, I was just thinking of someone I know.

Sarah: Who?

MC: He is actually the actor I want to recommend to you, Kiro.

MC: He's had similar experiences as the protagonist and has also faced a lot of darkness.

MC: He should be able to fit into the role well when performing...

Sarah: Wait, the Kiro you mentioned, is that the Kiro from B.S. Entertainment?

I nod, and the curiosity on Sarah's face suddenly disappears. She twitches the corner of her mouth, revealing a subtle expression.

Sarah: If it's him, I refuse.

MC: Why? Do you think he is too young? But I can vouch for his acting skills, and his professionalism is second to none in the industry...

Sarah: It has nothing to do with Mr. Kiro, I just don't want artistes from B.S. Entertainment to act in my works.

Sarah: I have some issues with them.

Sarah: It was precisely because of this that I declined the first invitation from Nafei Film and Television.

MC: .......

I never expected Nafei Film and Television to miss the opportunity because of this. I am rendered speechless.

Could it be that talks of collaboration between B.S. Entertainment and Sarah fell through, and they have since been blacklisted by the Queen of Suspense? I mutter to myself.

The atmosphere starts to become a little awkward, so I simply change the subject.

MC: We can discuss the role selection later. It's getting late now, so why don't we...

Bang. Before I can finish my words, a noise comes from downstairs.

Sarah looks at me in confusion and stands up.

Sarah: Maybe something got blown down by the wind. I'll go check it out.

She only takes a few steps out of the study when she suddenly lets out a scream.

Sarah: Why... you all...?!

??: ....Because we're done waiting.

A vague and unfamiliar male voice comes from downstairs. My heart skips a beat and an ominous feeling spreads throughout my chest.

I quickly rush out of the study and go to Sarah.

-

Looking down the stairs, the scene in the living room immediately clogs my throat.

Several men are seated on the sofa, each of them holding a gun, their black muzzles pointing at Sarah and me.

One of the men looks at me and gives me an extremely evil smile.

Man: Buongiorno, Signora MC… Oh wait.

He grins and slowly changes his words.

Man: Queen of Black Swan.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 2]

Queen.

This unexpected name makes my brain go blank for a few seconds, and I find myself frozen in place for a while.

Who are they?

I suddenly remember the last instructions Kiro gave me during our video call on the boat.

-[Flashback]-

Kiro: There's been some unrest there lately. There may be mafia activity. Please be careful when you get there, and feel free to contact me if anything happens.

-[End of Flashback]-

Could it be that the "unrest" he was referring to is because of these people?

But why is the Mafia calling me... Queen?

I suppress the pounding in my heart and try my best to keep my tone steady, as if I have experienced many storms before.

MC: Who are you.

Man: It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is who you are.

MC: Meaning what.

Man: We need you to do us a favor.

MC: How troublesome.

The man changes his sitting posture, but the muzzle of his gun remains trained to my head.

T/n: I really like the touch of having MC imitate Helios' way of speaking when talking to the mafia. Really shows how couples rub off on each other 🥹

Man: Call the Boss of BS over.

The boss of BS... Kiro? What do they want to do with Kiro?!

I knew it. This is the organization that has been causing Kiro trouble every day, preventing him from getting peace of mind!

I curse him fiercely in my heart, but try to remain calm on the surface.

Should I play dumb for now? Or just say something to deceive him? Or should I agree first and then find a chance to contact Kiro...?

All kinds of thoughts run through my mind over and over again.

Since the other party isn't directly using force and only threatening us, they must be concerned about something.

Deciding to test them again, I raise a sneer.

MC: How interesting. Is this your way of asking for help? What makes you think I can call over the Boss of BS....

Man: Of course you can. After all, you are responsible for the staff resting in the hotel right now, right?

MC: You!

These people are so despicable! I take a breath and speak hastily.

MC: My employees have nothing to do with any of this. If you are looking for someone from BS, then I'm standing right here!

Man: Alright.

The man unexpectedly agrees with me. He waves his hand and gives his men some instructions in Italian.

Man: As long as you are willing to cooperate, my men will not disturb their rest.

Man: As for you two ladies, how about you please come down and take a seat?

I turn my head to look at Sarah. Her face is as pale as snow and she looks quite frightened.

Things related to BS... should not involve these ordinary people.

I take a deep breath, squeeze Sarah's arm, and lead her down the stairs.

Under the threat of gunpoint, I slowly take out my cell phone and call Kiro.

Busy tone, busy tone, busy tone...

No one answers the phone for several consecutive times. The man on the other end of the phone starts to look impatient, but I am relieved.

During work, Kiro and I rarely make continuous calls like this — If there is an emergency, we'd also find other ways to communicate.

If he sees me calling continuously and persistently, he will definitely understand... I bite my lip.

Just as I am about to hang up the fifth call, that familiar voice suddenly sounds from the other end of the receiver.

Kiro: For miss MC to be in such a hurry to find me, is something wrong?

His tone at this moment is polite and distant, as if we are just ordinary business partners.

In an instant, my uneasy heart settles down.

—Even without any hints or opening remarks, he is always able to understand me and my situation.

I clench my phone and speak in the same tone as him.

MC: Hello, Mr. K, could you contact the boss of BS?

There is silence for a few seconds on the other end of the phone, followed by another polite laugh.

Kiro: Miss, you're really making things hard for me... How am I supposed to contact someone as elusive as the Boss?

MC: But I have something urgent to discuss with him. Could you please help me, Mr. K? Just tell him...

MC: Queen needs him.

Kiro: Then... I'll do my best.

Kiro "reluctantly" agrees and hangs up the phone. I shrug at the man.

MC: I've tried my best. As for whether the boss is willing to contact you, then...

Before I finish speaking, my phone rings. It's a video invite from an unknown number.

As soon as I press the connect button, the dark night of Loveland City splashes onto my screen like ink. A dazzling silver that cuts through the night leaps into my field of vision.

A cloud of white mist still lingers around Helios' lips, as if he has just rushed outside. There is undisguised worry in his eyes, but he speaks with arrogance.

Helios: Queen.

—Isn't this transformation way too quick?! The enemy will find out!

I secretly glare at Helios, but Helios pretends not to notice and speaks first with confidence.

Helios: You are the Queen, so of course all your actions are being monitored by BS.

Helios: Including the fact that you called Kiro five times for help.

MC: Stalker.

Helios: [indifferently] Thank you for the compliment.

The moment our eyes meet, I feel as if he has gently hooked my little finger, or planted a feather-light kiss on the corner of my mouth.

It's cunning, and provocative.

Sarah: You're the Boss of BS...?

An unexpected voice sounds, and I turn to look at Sarah in confusion.

The writer who has been immersed in fear ever since coming downstairs, seems to finally come to her senses. She looks at Helios in the video with slight disbelief.

Sarah: So young....

MC: What did you say?

Her sentence is slightly muffled and I'm unable to catch it. At this moment, the man on the sofa opposite me snatches away my phone at once. He stares straight at Helios, his mouth stretching into a grin, revealing his sharp white teeth. It's like he wants to tear Helios' flesh off.

Man: I believe that this young boss has already seen our hostage, so please come to P island alone within 48 hours.

Man: Or else, Sicily won't mind one more bloodbath.

With my back towards the phone, I am unable to see Helios' expression through the screen, but I hear a very lazy laugh.

Helios: It doesn't take that long. Maybe 24 hours.

Helios: If she loses even a hair, I don't mind having one more murder on my hands.

-

MC: ....Kiro should have boarded the plane to Europe by now.

I stare at the dark ceiling above my head and sigh silently.

After the negotiation, all communication devices belonging to Sarah and me are confiscated and we are placed under house arrest in our rooms on the second floor.

I am worried about Sarah, my employees - who are now caught in this mess - and Kiro, who is on the other side of the ocean.

He'll take care of everything. He's a superhero.

I repeat this to myself over and over again, but this self-comfort isn't able to soothe the restlessness in my chest.

For some reason, something about today's kidnapping feels off, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to figure out what exactly.

Finally, after turning over in bed for the ninth time, I resign myself to my fate and sit up and walk towards the window.

At this moment, everything outside the window is silent, with only the occasional sound of footsteps near the manor, announcing the fact that I'm still under their surveillance.

The night sky and the sea merge together, and the distant sea breeze stirs up the waves, beating them against the island over and over again.

I stare at the night for a long time. So long, that my eyes start to feel swollen and sore.

It doesn't matter. Once the sun rises, I'll be able to see him again.

MC: Kiro....

I cover my face, letting the moisture in the corners of my eyes melt into my palms as I murmur his name.

??: [chuckling] So this is how the Queen thinks of me.

MC: ?!

For a moment, I almost think myself to be hallucinating and raise my head from my palm in disbelief.

Through my tearful eyes, the man I have been thinking about appears before my eyes. He leans on the windowsill with one hand and reaches out to me with the other.

Helios: Won't you give me a hand?

Helios: This posture is rather uncomfortable, and you wouldn't want me to get discovered by the patrol outside, would you?

My body responds to his question faster than my brain does. I hold Helios's hand and feel his familiar warmth through our overlapping palms.

This isn't a hallucination, or a dream.

I am holding my lover's hand.

Due to inertia, I stagger back a few steps, pulling Helios into the room from the window sill, and the two of us tumble down to the floor together.

Although a layer of carpet separates us from the floor, the muffled sound of the impact still brings a dull pain to my shoulder blades.

But I have no time to care about my body's protests, because at this moment, my heart and eyes are solely focused on the person on top of me.

MC: Ki....

My breath is overpowered by Helios'.

His kiss still carries the dampness of a winter night, his lips cold, while his tongue, hot.

It is so hot, that it burns me inch by inch, from my lips to my ears.

Back and forth, on repeat.

Rather than being affectionate, it is more like we are using this awkward and urgent kiss to confirm each other's existence.

My grip on his clothes gets tighter and tighter, taking in the tension of his undulating muscles.

It is obvious that he is the one plundering me, yet I feel a certain greedy desire for him growing wildly in my mind.

MC: Kiro....

I whisper his name again.

Helios: I'm here.

Even though it is so dark in front of us that we can barely make out each other's outlines, our eyes stay fixed on the other.

A bit of moonlight shines through the clouds and seeps into his deep blue eyes.

Helios: I'm late.

MC: You big doofus.

MC: It's only been a few hours, and you're already here...

Helios: But you cried.

Helios' fingers gently stroke the red corners of my eyes.

Helios: If I had come earlier, you wouldn't have cried.

MC: You just want me to cry now.

My righteous complain makes Helios laugh out loud. He hums, leans over and presses my head into his shoulder.

Helios: [whispering] You can cry as much as you want, I will continue.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

[CHAPTER 3]

We lay on the carpet hugging each other, quietly listening to each other's heartbeats.

Once my excitement finally subsides a little, I softly speak up.

MC: So how did you just... "pop up"?

Helios: I think you're the doofus, Miss Chips.

Helios helplessly pokes my forehead.

Helios: After knowing that you were being held hostage, how do you expect me to come rescue you in a "normal" way?

Helios: I found an Evolver with a teleportation Evol in BS, confirmed your location, and asked him to send me over.

I stick out my tongue. I did indeed forget that such a possibility existed.

Helios: As for the group of people that kidnapped you, I found out that they are the Ansoto family, a notorious mafia gang.

Helios: They were held responsible for a smuggling operation that got busted by BS and have been wanting to take revenge.

Helios: I reminded you to be careful because I had heard a report about this matter at a BS meeting. [Takes in a breath] I didn't expect it to be...

He pauses when he says this. When he speaks again, there is a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

Helios: But I do find this a bit strange. How did they know your identity, and where did they get your itinerary from?

Upon hearing his words, I finally realize why I felt something was wrong before.

MC: Yes, I was wondering about that too... And if they have a grudge against BS, why did they insist on you coming here alone?

Helios: Why else? They're overestimating themselves if they think they can handle BS.

Helios sneers. He lets go of me and helps me sit up.

Helios: I'll settle the score with them later. The most important thing now is to get you to safety.

I am about to nod, only to suddenly remember something important, and I quickly grab Helios' sleeve.

MC: Wait, they not only held me hostage, but also Ms. Sarah and the staff I brought with me. If they find out tomorrow that I'm missing...

Helios: Don't worry.

Helios reaches out and takes my hand in his.

Helios: I'm a superhero. I'll keep everyone safe.

-

Since we are unsure of how many mafia members are stationed here, we decide to act quietly.

The mafia guarding the corridor barely get any time to react before Helios quickly knocks them to the ground. After confirming that there is no surveillance on the second floor, we quickly come to the door of the room where Sarah is being held.

The door lock is a piece of cake for Helios. We wink at each other and I enter the room first.

As soon as the door is opened, a ray of light pours out from the crack of the door.

I take a light step inside, and the figure sitting by the bed quickly raises her head.

Sarah: MC? How are you--

I quickly make a shushing gesture to her and point to the door.

MC: Long story short, someone has come to rescue us.

I pull Sarah up from the bed as a look of confusion displays across her face. She looks over my shoulder and notices Helios standing behind me.

Sarah: You're BS's....

Helios: Mm. You must have seen me in that video call this morning.

Helios: Long story short, I'm here to rescue you.

Helios leans against the door frame and smiles, imitating my tone.

Sarah: ........

Despite his friendly tone, Sarah shudders all over and I blink in confusion.

MC: Ms. Sarah?

Sarah: I... I'm sorry, I was quite frightened.

She closes her eyes tightly twice, and after exhaling, her expression returns to the calmness it had during the day.

Sarah: Thank you, young boss of BS.

Helios: You're welcome. You and MC go to the dock and wait for help. I'll go and rescue the rest of your employees.

Sarah: If that's the case we could go through the gardens. There's a path leading from the estate to the town.

Sarah: You go ahead, I'll find the key to the garden and come down right away.

There is no time to waste. Helios nods and leaves the room.

I hesitate for a moment, but am still more worried about Helios' safety, so I nod towards Sarah and walk out of the room.

His fresh scent still seems to linger in the air. I walk along the corridor, carefully avoiding the mafia who have been knocked unconscious on the ground.

The closer I get to the stairs, the stronger the sickly-sweet smell becomes.

It's the smell of blood.

I can't help but hold my breath and gaze at the agile silhouette who is still in the midst of fighting.

Helios is like a cheetah hunting in the dark, silent and fluid as he maneuvers through several mafia members.

His movements aren't superfluous, while his fighting style is quick and decisive, as if he isn't on a small island in southern Italy, but on the set of an action movie.

These people don't even have time to scream before their sounds are stabbed back by the dagger he wields.

In less than a minute, the only sound that remains in the living room is that of slightly rapid breathing.

At this moment, Helios seems to sense my gaze and looks up at me. Although the light is dim, I can still see the corners of his mouth perk up.

Helios: Come on down, it's all over.

MC: [nervously] Kiro, you wouldn't have... done that to all of them, would you?

Helios: [chuckles] Which is?

I make a gesture of swiping my neck, eliciting a sneer out of him.

Helios: Oh, I didn't do "that" to them. It's just that when they wake up, some of their muscles and joints are gonna hurt so much that they'll want to die.

As he says this, Helios reaches out and pulls me into his arms, biting my lips in dissatisfaction.

Helios: [in a mischievously soft voice] As soon as you come down, you're only worried about whether I did "that" to them? Why not care about whether I'm hurt or not?

I wrinkle my nose in pain and softly protest.

MC: A bad guy who has time to bite people doesn't need me to... hiss.

Before I can finish my words, he grazes my ear again. His teeth grabs at the soft flesh, causing a slight sting.

Helios: [seductively whispers] ....I'll let you pay me back later.

While this guy is clearly threatening me, his husky voice carries a hint of Kiro's signature flirtatiousness, making him impossible to resist.

I am about to say something back when I am interrupted by footsteps coming from upstairs.

Sarah cautiously pokes her head out from the stairwell and sees Helios and I embracing.

Slightly embarrassed, I take a step away from Helios' arms.

MC: Did you find the key?

Sarah: Mm. Have you... dealt with those mafia folks?

Helios: It's probably just the three of us who are standing in this room right now.

Sarah parts her lips slightly, as if she wants to say something, but she swallows it back.

Sarah: Then let's leave quickly.

-

With Sarah's guidance, we bypass the mafia in the manor and soon arrive at the garden's back door. The iron gate is wrapped with several circles of heavy iron chains, and a somewhat mottled iron lock hangs on it.

Sarah hands the key to Helios. Helios is stunned for a moment, but still takes it and turns to the lock.

Dawn approaches, and in the far east, a subtle blue-gray light becomes visible in the distance.

The lock seems a little rusty and the key squeaks as it turns.

Sarah suddenly grabs my hand and takes a few steps back.

Sarah: MC, I'm sorry.

A little confused, I look at her, only to find that Sarah has already burst into tears. She suddenly raises her hands, holding something between her fingers.

It's a gun.

MC: ......?!

Sarah: Per i fiori appassiti nella serra (For the withered flowers in the greenhouse).

Her fingers tremble violently, and the moment she finishes speaking, she pulls the trigger without hesitation.

Bang--!

The sound of gunfire and the sound of the iron lock opening, rings out at the same time.

Screams ignite the rising sun, and blood awakens the silent island.

MC: Kiro!

Helios: .....!

The moment the gun goes off, Helios realizes something is wrong and instinctively dodges to the side, the bullet just grazing past his arm.

As soon as he stands firm, Sarah raises the gun again.

Sarah staggers, tears still welling up in her eyes, and an expression of near madness on her face.

Sarah: Both, the Ansoto family and BS should die together!

Before the second shot is fired, Helios jumps up and appears in front of Sarah like a ghost. With just one strike, the pistol flies out of the woman's hand and into his.

Click.

The tables are turned. Helios releases the safety and points his gun at Sarah. His blue eyes are as cold as ice, shining brightly in the night.

Helios: [voice menacingly low] Answer me, who are you?

Sarah: ......

Sarah painfully arches her back, but doesn't even articulate a groan.

??: Who's there!

A loud shout is heard near the garden, and it is clear that the gunshot has attracted the attention of the remaining mafia in the manor.

Seeing the large number of mafia beginning to approach the garden, Helios knows there's no time to interrogate Sarah.

He looks around, juts out his tongue, and makes a quick decision.

Helios: You go first, I'll take care of them.

MC: No, I want to stay with you...

My next words are interrupted by something he puts in my hand — a communicator.

His stands upright, his eyes not turned towards me, but towards the encirclement not far away, showing high alert.

Helios: I leave my back to you.

He never thinks of me as a burden, and superheroes should trust each other with everything.

I bite my lip and lean close to his ear.

MC: There's an abandoned lighthouse south of the pier. I'll wait for you there.

Helios nods slightly, and his eyes meet mine for a moment.

I turn around, push the door open, and run towards the path.

Bang——Foreign shouts and gunshots sound behind me, adding the final crazy melody to the chaos of this night.

Finally, once the manor is engulfed by the shadows of the trees, I can't help but turn my head to look back.

Helios is lost in the crowd, but Sarah does not join in the dispute and remains motionless.

In the distance, the morning light just begins to break, and she is dressed in a black dress, akin to a mourning crow.

——*:･ﾟ✧——*:･ﾟ✧——

Next: Part 2

*Note: The proper translation of Sarah's book title "花房" is actually "Greenhouse", but I left it as "Flower House" instead cause it sounds a lot cooler, in my opinion. But if you want, you can read it as "Greenhouse" instead :>

[possessedopossum]

The Veilguard: my full review [positive, long post, less about game mechanics and more about meta, spoilers]

The thing that makes Veilguard special to me is how self aware the game is. In every dialogue, plot twist or quest I can feel the presence of somebody who wanted to share something with me. Be it personal experience, message, pain or joy. As of 2024, many games have lost their creative spark. Video game industry is no longer a nerd only zone, it's a business no different than others. Many studios utilize AI to write their plots, chase after current trends or simply make decisions that would create the biggest audience possible at the expense of something people love the franchise for. Veilguard did well, because it showed me something I haven't seen in a very long time: the human soul.

Perhaps you have noticed it on your own. The world has gone completely nuts after the covid. Or maybe it has always been this way and I only noticed it now. It is not a surprise to me that players want their game to be darker, to have more aggressive dialogue and to have a morally grey or even evil protagonist. For the past few years I've been feeling like someone had turned the lights off. And the game gave me an impression that someone at bioware feels this way too.

Only negativity gives content creators views and money these days. Open any social media, read any post or watch any video. If something is on top, it's almost always a hate post. What was the last movie most reviewers enjoyed? The last game? Perhaps the one that was released 10 years ago? What was the last time, you, my dear reader, have smiled? Not bitterly or sardonically, but out of genuine joy?

It is extremely fitting that Rook's mentor figure is Varric. Varric is somebody who always sees the best in people. He grew up in one hell of a city but he still loves it. He can find something to laugh about no matter how dire the situation is. He is a people person who can build friendship with anybody. Varric is very charismatic and tends to avoid conflict. He is a chronic liar but that doesn't make him bad because he never lies with malicious intentions. And in some ways, Rook is similar to him.

Yes, Rook can't be a complete asshole. Because the game is not about being an asshole. One of our antagonists, Solas, considers the world to be sick. Modern Thedas is a grave mistake that haunts him. He can't forget and move on because even the elves themselves wear his mistakes on their faces. Many things that are normal to the player character aren't normal to Solas. The world is so wrong and disgusting to Solas that he is willing to sacrifice things and people who are dear to him just to make the twisted world better.

Rook is nice because they are supposed to represent what is good in modern Thedas. They are supposed to be somebody who thinks the world is worth fighting for. And to a certain extent, their factions as well. The crows are contract killers and the lords of fortune are thiefs. Grey wardens are very concerned with politics and all the secrets they refuse to share constantly get people killed. Mourn watch has their immoral power hungry politicians as well and veil jumpers are sometimes willing to trade people for ancient secrets. They all aren't without sin but that's not the point. The point is, even with all the ugliness and darkness, there is still a place for light. And the light in the darkness is the exact message bioware tried to convey. The crows not being comically evil is not bad writing. It is a conscious writing choice to give us a human face for something we consider ugly and not worth fighting for. The player is metaphorically Solas, who needs to be persuaded that the world is worth at least something. The writers didn't need to bare the souls of player factions in all their mistakes, imperfections and cruelty. Because they showed us the factions' humanity. Some cruelty is still there, on the background, but it doesn't overshadow what is good. The crows, no matter how terrible, are a family. Viago may call Rook an idiot and while Rook considers their training literal torture, they sure love Viago back.

In fact, familial love is one of the core themes of the Veilguard. We have Emmrich and Manfred, Davrin and Assan and uncle Endrin, Lucanis and Caterina and Illario, Taash and Shathann, Bellara and Cyrian. It's a bit less direct with Neve and Harding. Neve has a lot of love for her city which is almost like a person to her, and Harding...I'll explain with a quote. "You're Lace Harding! You're more than this rage! You believe that the world is beautiful! That people are good! Hold onto it, hold on to who you are!".

Even the evanuris share the theme of family. Rook can compare Elgar'nan and Solas to relatives who can't get along. Elgar'nan calls Ghilan'nain his sister. Both shards of Mythal consider modern elves her children. Different but no less beloved, as Morrigan puts it.

Veilguard shows family without rose-tinted glasses. It shows that sometimes to love your children is to sacrifice something else you love (Lichdom for Emmrich), that parents have their own problems that may harm their children no matter how much parents wish to protect them (Shathann understands she is not the best mother and has complicated relationships with the Qun that harmed Taash), that sometimes parents do not understand their children at all and it's only up to children themselves to close the gap in understanding (Mythal, Solas and Rook), that familial love and desire to protect your family may turn into something ugly (Caterina being cruel to her grandchildren to prepare them for harsh realities of the antivan crows).

There is conflict in Veilguard, of intergenerational nature. Companions and their families, Rook and their faction leader, elves ancient and modern. It's up to the player how to deal with the last one. Humans, dwarves and qunari may not share blood ties with ancient elves but they still live in the world ancient elves created. As Rook, you're allowed to lash out in anger at Mythal and Solas. You can call Mythal guilty of all modern problems and fight her. You can bind Solas to the veil by force, call him asshole and express your frustrations with him multiple times throughout the game. You can also express sympathy and forgive them both. Because forgiving is neither condoning nor condemning, it's understanding and letting go. Being understood and allowed to peacefully let go of his mistakes is the exact thing that Solas needs to change his mind.

I believe that the Veilguard companions are one of the very best I've ever seen in a video game. They may not have as many different fates as for example Alistair has but is goodness measured with the amount of ways a character can be killed? I love the Veilguard crew because they all feel very real. Their personal problems are universal and very close to the player. Taash's story is not about being non-binary. It's about growing up, finding your place in the world, separating from your family and learning to appreciate it despite the mistakes your parents did while parenting you.

It's hard to decide who is my favorite. Taash's story made me cry but so did Harding's and Bellara's. The last scenes of Lucanis romance made me feral. I can't stomach the scene where Davrin and Assan die. The consequences of destruction of Minrathous/Treviso were hard to look at. I felt guilt, and if a game makes me feel something, it's a good game. I laughed, I cried, I was afraid and I felt joy, I was angry, I felt shame, I felt love. The game made me feel alive, I played through Rook's story like it was my own, what not to love about it?

The double blight wreaking havoc in Southern Thedas is sad but beautifully symbolic. Almost like a love letter from a long lost lover, It felt like bioware's meta commentary to me. "Yes, a whole lot of time has passed. We are no longer as young as we used to be, and so are you, not only the player, but our treasured friend as well. We have changed, you have changed and so did the world around us. Gaming and the video game industry are not what they used to be. We will never be able to go back no matter how much we want it because the only path that is left is the path forward. It doesn't mean that we no longer remember our shared past, no. We may not be able to go back but we promise to remember it fondly. We are still capable of creating beauty and the past will serve as a foundation for something new. We still have hope, and so should you".

The Veilguard to me is about nostalgia as well. I don't want to feed my inner Solas who sees the current world as sick. I want to make space for my inner Rook who is hopeful about the world just enought to fight for its future.

[alekthefox]

This is about my post about a future fanfic where Aventurine beats Dr Ratio in chess. What you're reading now however is canonical proof+my theories on Veritas' opinion on Aventurine's intelligence.

@resagini You're right absolutely, however Dr. Ratio already knows Aventurine is extremely intelligent! (I'm not sure if you were implying he doesn't realise it in canon... But if that's not the case... then for those people you mentioned in the last few tags here's a little info :)

Penacony spoilers underneath, with receipts.

First of all why he wears the bust:

(Source of image: Honkai Star Rail wiki, under Dr. Ratio, voice-overs.)

He has never ever been seen wearing it when with Ave. Aventurine even teases him about it in Penacony story with the line of (I love the stupid pun, the word "bust" fits both of them):

This also means Aventurine has seen it before this. I'm unsure the time placement of Final Victor light cone as of right now. But it is possible Veritas changed his mind multiple times. Since Penacony though he's not worn it when with Aventurine. It is also possible he wears it when the two of them are with others who Ratio finds to be blubbering fools.

Note: Aventurine is a high rank P45, and a Stoneheart, within the STRATEGIC Investment Department. Whyyyy, pray tell, do people think of him so lowly????

Then there's Dr. Ratio in the Aventurine showcase saying they're not exactly friends and he's not so bad to work with unlike those insufferable fools. (And I adore the callout he gets from Aventurine and how flustered he gets urgh this man <3)

Official video

Friends quote: 0:50

Veritas admitting Aventurine is in control then getting flustered when the two are described to have "mutual understanding" ("wait... mutual? What did he say about me???? 🥺"): 5:30

YESSSS YOU CAN PUT ITALIC ON EMOJIS!

And I would love to remind everyone of the lines:

Yep. Dr. Ratio knew Aventurine's plan, or the majority of it. (PEOPLE PISS ME OFF WHEN LISTING THAT BETRAYAL AS A REASON THIS SHIP IS TOXIC.) That means Dr. Ratio knew that this extremely layered, thoroughly thought through (i did NOT just use those three words like it's normal what the hell) scheme, all came from Aventurine's mind (literally nobody else would think of this bullshit, from the self-destruction to the breaking of a cornerstone to the THREE cornerstones in use in the same place without the people, in possession of the Family etc etc). I believe extremely little parts of the Penacony situation was luck. Aventurine is lucky, yes, insanely. But he uses his luck as an advantage, not main weapon. He uses it as a mask, he is a gambler to many eyes. The doctor knows this. He doesn't believe in luck but in probability, a controlled and calculable version of luck. He didn't trust his luck, but his mind. So Ratio played his part.

Another thing is that during Penacony you can retrace, during story, Aventurine and Ratio's steps. Literally. Playing as Acheron you can examine the footprints and it's stated that whoever was walking there are equals.

Despite Aventurine having full power over Ratio through the IPC authority and the cornerstone power and having him always follow his lead (begrudgingly or not), they walk side by side.

Even with Ratio being much taller and therefore faster, they walk side by side. (An easy excuse that doesn't involve feelings that both could use to avoid this respect.) Even with Ratio thinking a lot of people are morons, he walks side by side with Aventurine, without his statue mask. Even with Dr. Ratio's many accomplishments proving he's above quite a number of individuals.

In both opinions on who is greater, they choose this.

Link to wiki page

There is so so so so much more but I do think these instances alone are enough to prove my point.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

I didn't see the supposed ''leak'' yet nor I want to tbh, but if it was Amazon who posted it... is it *really* a leak?? Doesn't it count more as a teaser? Yes, it might be spoilery but if an official source posted it intentionally then that's a teaser, right? I get wanting to avoid spoilers but Idk, I'm seeing some people's responses demonizing the fans who shared the ''leak'' and like, idk, to me is quite understandable that some fans would share a video that Amazon itself posted officially on social media. People get excited when they see new content, especially when it comes from an official source, you know? I don't thinks those fans were ill-intended. Maybe I'm not understanding the situation correctly but it all seems a little exaggerated

Hiya. This is how I see it: No, it was a leak. Neil and others spent years to make a brilliant season and kept surprises hidden so we can experience it when seeing. There is a strike going on for Writers Guiild of America, that means that Neil can't communicate with studios like Amazon. Before the strike everything was agreed upon by Neil what and how it will be revealed, he wrote things for promos and so. But someone at Amazon decided to reveal something that was not agreed upon to be revealed. It is a big thing and they put the big spoiler scene in a video collection of many series scenes, someone made a mistake. It was taken down but it spread. Neil is both heartbroken and fucking furious. He certainly doesn't blame the fans who shared it because they were excited but now wishes us not to spread further so people are not spoiled. It happened. Some of us know now, but there is no reason why we can't contain the leak as best as we can so people who doesn't know and doesn't want to know don't get spoiled, so they won't be afraid for next 45 days to go on the internet and will feel comfortable in the fandom. ❤

[utilitycaster]

anyway this is obviously a wild shift in the topic of conversation, but I was talking about it in the group chat last night as a distraction and would like to continue the distraction if I am being honest, so, with the caveat that this is based off of Fandom Osmosis Observations and a few reads of reviews and I have at this time played neither of these games, some thoughts about BG3 vs. Veilguard and what I've seen. many thanks to @captainofthetidesbreath for actually knowing things about video games and answering my many questions.

also just putting this up front with all said caveats: if you disagree that is great, I am very open that this is an outside observation and I could be very wrong but I am going to block people who get hostile without warning, and make this nonrebloggable if too many people get hostile. You are always permitted to disagree but like, I don't really care about your opinion if you're not someone with whom I have a pre-existing rapport unless idk you're like, actually a BG3 or Veilguard official story writer who happens to be on Tumblr. If you're a player? You have all of your own biases and they are not mine. Save it for someone who wants to get in a fight about this; I am not that person.

Essentially, what I've seen in terms of criticism from Veilguard that isn't just rampant transphobia comes down to the following:

why am I not playing my previous character from Inquisition again

why am I limited to a fairly consistent through line for the story

But first, I'm going to talk about BG3. What's funny is I seem like a much more obvious candidate for playing BG3, as a longtime D&D player who has come around on Forgotten Realms as a setting. However, while I looked at it for a while, I eventually lost interest for a couple of reasons. One is that apparently all the characters are WAY too eager to romance you which is like, a fun fantasy for 10 minutes but would probably annoy me in the long run. Another is that everyone who watched early reviews and kept abreast with the game told me that there was a clear favorite companion (Astarion) and that many of the characters had most of their interesting flaws sanded down (eg: Wyll was apparently much cockier originally; Shadowheart even more petulant; and as these are perhaps the two characters I was most intrigued by, reducing them to something blander destroyed much of the appeal). But perhaps the most interesting one is that as a boring goodie two shoes sort of person, my thought back when I was like "yeah, perhaps I will play this" was "oh, I do not want to have a murderous urge within me."

It became very apparent, through watching people play through and post on my dash, that if you didn't specifically play as the Dark Urge, and didn't specifically resist that urge, the story didn't really cohere. I have to admit, I know the premise of BG3 very well (tadpoles), and I know a lot of shipping trends (put a pin in that), and I know some of the more obvious points within it (Astarion is a vampire, Gale and Karlach both have bombs in their chests somehow, Shadowheart bleaches her hair) but I don't really have a great sense of the ending, and I did not avoid spoilers.

It feels like BG3 is designed for people who have one of those massive spreadsheets of D&D characters they haven't had a chance to play that are meticulously kept and thoroughly realized...and don't really leave room for modifying to fit the campaign you will actually be playing in. It feels like an OC sandbox simulator unless you do actually pick the choice the writers actually wrote for (Durge), and while it's not technically playersexual...it kinda is. I mean, I am a big fan of the trend in video games towards making it possible to romance anyone because it conjures up the idea of a world of high-powered bisexuals running around, which is very enjoyable for me, but the criticism of the Mary Sue archetype originally was never "how dare you fantasize about being cool." It was "wow, the characterizations are all warped beyond recognition solely so that everyone is in love with this character, and that makes for a dull and unsatisfying story." If you're everyone's type, and it's for romance and not just sheer lust, then either everyone around you is boring and wants the same thing, or you are sort of bland and inoffensive, or else the story is bashing characters together without a good basis for a compelling romance. This is also compounded by the fact that the companions can't get together with each other if you're playing your own character and not an Origins character.

None of this is to say it's bad to like BG3 and again, I didn't play it; but it is why I ultimately said "you know, given the effort involved to play it for me, a person without a gaming system, it's not worth it."

Veilguard has specifically intrigued me for going against a lot of this. You have a lot of choices in your character build, but they're all fairly thematically consistent: you did something within your faction that was well-intentioned but upset higher-ups and so you need to step away for a while. This establishes a personality for you! We know why you're part of a faction but also something of a free agent at the moment. We know why you're here and why you might be a good candidate for the current mission.

I'm not going to go into detail for the choices because while I'm not avoiding spoilers I don't want to spoil a relatively new game for others, but a lot of choices are fairly parallel, not in an "illusion of choice" way - they have consequences - but in terms of hitting similar themes. You can only save one city and both are places you have seen and places your companions have connections to; while the exact details may differ you are telling a consistent story.

I also think the fact that the companions can romance each other in your absence is important too! They exist even when you're not there. They are not just here to woo you, and indeed, they might be a better match for each other. I've been informed this is true in Inquisition as well, and I think it's a much more rich world if you, as the player, as the person who can ultimately decide the fates of your companions, aren't the center of their personal life. I also think it prevents the ability to sand down companions to be more agreeable to you as a player if you have to make an NPC/NPC romance compelling (and I will freely admit that, in a move that is not at all like me, I was pretty well sold by a potential in-game NPC/NPC romance, which is usually not the thing that gets me into works of fiction).

I'm not the right person to speak to the Inquisitor not being a significant character because I did not play DA:I, and I get that 'well, this is a new game with a new protagonist, as there has been for every Dragon Age game' is still not necessarily an adequate explanation. Nor is "hey, maybe it's good to attract new players" even though as someone who is highly attracted as a new player that is my opinion. However, I want to go back to the point about Resist Durge being the strongest option in BG3 in terms of story by a long shot. When I was trying to learn more, I said "ok, so just like how you're Tav in BG3 and Rook in Veilguard, you're Lavellan in Inquisition, right?" and was told that you are not - that's just the elvish Inquisitor option. Obviously this is anecdotal, but the fact that one option was far and away the most popular and thematically resonant is an indication that perhaps bringing forth the Inquisitor is carrying over some of the limitations of that game, whatever they may be. The true argument is "they are trying to tell a specific story here, and it is about a different POV than the one you previously had."

And that's really my point. I know I'm not an expert here - in fact I'm usually quite hesitant to write meta about things in which I'm not highly steeped, and very critical of those people who do - but I think an outsider perspective is useful here. The thing that is drawing me to video games is a new way to experience a fictional narrative (the other game I have been meaning to play - and even own on Steam- is Disco Elysium). That's not what everyone wants! But it is what I want. And so I want to be put into a developed, thoughtful narrative, and I don't mind if my choices are restricted in order to support it, and if I am playing a person I did not entirely choose. In tech, there is a saying of "make it easy to make the right choice (and hard to make the wrong one)" and so if you need your protagonist to hit certain beats, you should make that the required protagonist.

I think a story is stronger if your choices matter but if there is something of a foregone conclusion because it gives the writers thematic throughlines. This might sound a little silly given that this blog is largely dedicated to Actual Play but the thing is, most actual play does have, if not a foregone conclusion, at least a strongly intended conclusion of "work towards uncovering this mystery and achieving this goal", though the success of said goal is not guaranteed. I would argue that when a campaign lacks that, it tends to suffer in all aspects. RPG video games almost always have a foregone conclusion, but that's its own liability. In actual play, lacking a forgone conclusion means you spin off in any direction and it's anyone's guess if it's coherent. In an RPG, having this conclusion but not supporting it through the rest of the game will make it feel contrived. I feel a lot of Veilguard criticism is focusing on small contrivances early on that really mostly matter to a highly specific subset of potential players that prevent much larger and less forgiveable contrivances later on.

Anyway. Again, I am an outsider here, and I'm not here to say that it's bad to have a more open-world, sandboxy game with a self-insert-y OC type; but I have to be honest, I'd rather explore that in a true sandbox of fanfiction or original fiction, which is significantly cheaper and in which I can actually tell the entire story I want to tell. I don't want to be given more choices if a lot of them will be profoundly unsatisfying as a narrative. I don't want to cut through the world like a hot knife through butter. I want to be affected by it, and that's very hard to do with a character whose only trait is "self-insert whom everyone wants to fuck" or "guy that already carries the baggage of years of personal headcanons and highly variable choices that are hard to account for for every single person who ever played the previous game."

[that-ari-blogger]

IDK How to Title This (King's Tide)

There’s something fascinating about meaning. Not just the answers we draw from texts, but how we do that, and just how much informs our readings thereof.

There are so many conflicting elements that change our perspective on things, from authorial bias to external circumstances, to coding, to our own life experiences. Meaning is dynamic.

The best example of this is actually Tumblr. There is a recurring thing on this website of misinterpretation caused by factors the original poster had no idea about. You said A but because I experienced B, I interpret what you are saying as C.

This is nuanced, and it’s important to understand when it is happening so you don’t pick fights with people who absolutely do not deserve it, but at the same time, on a smaller scale, it’s almost unavoidable. The variety of interpretation, that is. Don’t pick fights, that part is easy to not do.

In the context of The Owl House, King’s Tide was the last episode. There were no more afterwards. There was no season three. So, everyone who watched it knowing that got a very specific reaction.

But then we did get a Season Three, and suddenly this stops being the series finale. Suddenly, the meaning changes.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (The Owl House)

In 1994, American rock band Soundgarden released their fourth album, called Superunknown. It would go on to achieve iconic status and be the band’s breakthrough album, but more importantly, it would be one of the few albums that I own on CD.

This is the Black Hole Sun visual, despite the fact that it 100% is not.

Genuinely, I went mad trying to find this, because it wasn’t just that the vibes were aligned. I was convinced that I had seen this specific visual before.

I hadn't. I wasn’t on to anything here.

The cover for the single version of Black Hole Sun looks like this:

And the album cover for Superunknown looks like this:

They aren’t even close. So I, brought out my CD case, which looks like this:

Now, we are talking. It isn’t exactly the same, but it’s something I can work with. Once again, I came into this thinking I had seen the specific visual of a black hole in a beam of light before, and I was wrong, but I wasn’t off by a mile.

As a last-ditch effort, I looked up covers of the song and found one by Voiceplay that I listen to fairly frequently.

Slightly closer, but it came out in April 2024, almost a year to the day after The Owl House’s finale aired. I remember watching King’s Tide for the first time and doing the Decaprio pointing thing.

The Voiceplay arrangement is good, here’s a link to it so you can check it out. But there is no way their version could have rewired my brain if it didn't even exist yet.

Which brings me back to the question of why do I bring this up? If it is only tangentially relevant, what is the point?

Complexity of interpretation.

This is the closest shot I could find in The Owl House to any of the Black Hole Sun official imagery. But I want to stress that I am shifting the goal posts sommat savage.

Whether it was intended or not, my reading of King’s Tide and the draining ritual is inextricably linked to Black Hole Sun, and I actually think that is fascinating.

It is important for me to understand that this is my bias speaking and not the actual text, but again, it’s not something that is avoidable. It’s just something that happens in the human brain.

Meaning is complex, and in this case in a way that the creators most likely did not account for. But Black Hole Sun is a part of how I draw meaning from the story, and since this is a blog about my own thoughts and analysis, it needs to be dwelled upon.

Black Hole Sun is nihilistic, kinda.

It is one of those songs that resists interpretation because it wasn’t written with one in mind. Soundgarden was just trying to put lyrics to a page to support the atmosphere of the title, and as such the song is surreal first and foremost.

Combine this with the genuinely unnerving music video and you get a song that, to me, seems to be about a disillusionment with reality. It is the nihilistic “nothing matters” that is maddening and uncaring. It views life as a but a stage or a game for pantomime theatrics.

Hey, would you look at that? The draining spell is the manifestation of Belos’ nihilism brought about by his own bigotry. The man doesn’t view the Boiling Isles as real; he treats the world like a chessboard, that’s why it doesn’t occur to him that he can lose. Why would the pawns turn on their player?

This also relates to the Collector a bit though, doesn’t it. Someone obsessed with games to the point of cosmic indifference.

But their time to shine will come in another post.

Belos is interesting as a villain because he is fundamentally wrong. He doesn’t have a sympathetic motive that he took too far. He’s not out for revenge. He’s an eejit.

Black Hole Sun is, as has been stated, surreal. Which implies a lot about the mindset of the musician. The world is hopeless here, but that’s not how the world looks.

It’s fake, the entire song is pointedly distanced from reality. Nihilism is based in misconception.

This is foreshadowing. Eda's arm being able to detach is a Chekhov's gun in the final moments. But also... look at Raine's face. They are sad, and melancholy. They aren't smiling. It is imperative to understand that Raine smiles once in this episode, and it will hurt you.

As a side note, my thesis for The Owl House is that it is about freedom, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that in 2014, Chris Cornell (the band’s singer, drummer, and frontman) gave an interview with Uncut Magazine, in which he claimed the following in relation to the line “times are gone for honest men”:

“It’s really difficult for a person to create their own life and their own freedom. It’s going to become more and more difficult, and it’s going to create more and more disillusioned people who become dishonest and angry and are willing to f*** the next guy to get what they want. There’s so much stepping on the backs of other people in our profession. We’ve been so lucky that we’ve never had to do that. Part of it was because of our own tenacity, and part of it was because we were lucky.”

Freedom is stepping on people’s backs. It is something to be taken. Except that no it is not. Freedom is something you can claim otherwise, with a bit of luck, and a bit of willpower. You don’t have to claim it at anyone else’s expense.

I will talk more in depth about character design in a later post, but it is a character beat for Belos to take off his cloak as he comes this close to winning. Symbolically, he has been a witch hunter under it all, wearing the outfit under a mask and facade. But to him, he wants to win as a human, because he is a bigot. He wants to distance himself in his own head from the people he is about to mass murder. He wants to look the part. To whom? To himself. The man is acting, fantasising about heroes and villains. He is caught up in his own story. He is a dark mirror to Luz, her equal opposite. With the differences being that one, Luz could change and see the world as more than its archetypes, and two, Luz can see people as people, where Belos can only see them as characters in his own story. Luz is kindness and change, Belos is cruelty and stagnation.

There is another image of a blacked-out sun that has been used in real world history. The Schwarze Sonne, an icon in Nazi Germany and Neo-Nazi imagery. It is not my area of expertise and to my limited knowledge, the symbol isn't a direct one to one with anything in The Owl House. But I feel it would be disingenuous to not link the genocidal bigot to the aesthetics of the ideology that he invokes.

Just in case anyone was still unsure as to what kind of person Belos is.

Belos is also a poster child for something I will never miss a chance to harp on about. The futility and self-sabotage inherent in evil and cruelty.

He could have kept his trap shut. He could have told the collector to wait until after the draining spell. He could have kept the collector in his lab where he could see them. But no, he knew he had already won, so he chose to gloat, and that directly caused his demise.

The collector defeats Belos. They didn’t have a reason to hate him until he threw them off a cliff, and they didn’t have a way of getting free until he gave Kikimora a motivation to lead king to them. Belos is an eejit who claims to be a mastermind but is in reality just willfully ignorant.

That’s his dichotomy with Luz. Curiosity vs ignorance, kindness vs cruelty, expression vs restriction, freedom vs control, knowledge vs power.

Blight robots are instrumental in the end of the world. The rich industrialist has doomed the world for power. I am shocked.

To me, it is important that this doesn’t just affect Belos.

You can’t educate someone whose mind is closed, sure. I agree with that sentiment. You will just cause yourself more misery. However, their anti-intellectualism will actively do you harm as it will make the world worse, so you need to combat them in some way shape or form.

Facts and logic don’t work, so Luz has to appeal to his emotions to just stand in the same room as him. When that fails, she has to fight him outright.

Making a deal with the villain while half in shadow and half in light. Presenting the lit side openly while the hand in shadow is also hidden behind Luz's back to signify duplicity. I think there's some symbolism here but I just can't quite figure it out.

Speaking of whom, Luz is a mess this episode. She is trying to get herself killed, and that matches the rest of the isles. There is not going to be a tomorrow, there will not be another episode after this, so everyone is trying to go out in a bang.

Except, there is a tomorrow. There is momentum that has to go somewhere, and the only direction it has is forwards.

The final moments of this season, and of The Owl House, are of the brutal realisation that life keeps moving. You have to treasure the moments while you have them, because if you keep fearing the future, it will come, and you will have missed every opportunity to do anything about it.

That is a through line in this entire episode. The future is not what you expect. Every plan fails. The draining spell, the rebellion, the coven heads’ plan for paradise. Everything goes pear shaped. The future is never what you expect, just treasure the moments you have, and roll with the punches.

Always try to make the world a better place, don’t get me wrong. The show firmly takes the stance that evil can and should be fought against, but two things can be true. Treasure the moment and change the future are two phrases that must stand side by side.

And yes, that has been the theme of The Owl House as a whole, hasn’t it? Luz has been afraid of returning to the Human Realm because that signifies her future and maturity, meanwhile the Boiling Isles is the moment she is in, the treasure that she is missing out on because of that fear of the future. She can’t make a decision, so life chooses for her.

But rewind a bit. This episode is a masterclass in building dread.

Everything in this episode is pointing towards the one end point. The A and B plots are perfectly aligned in this episode. Both are trying to stop the spell, they are just in two different locations.

Usually, these disparate storylines are separate, with one usually acting as the main story while the other provides comic relief and supplements the themes.

Find me a joke in King’s Tide. There are exactly two. One at the start with Amity and finding out about her nickname, and the second at the end with Hunter’s expression when faced with the collector.

You will note that neither of these are particularly funny, but Hunter’s reaction to cosmic horror will draw out at least a smile because the entire episode leading up to it renders that moment hilarious.

Eda tries to find humour, but that actively worsens the mood because it draws attention to how out of place her comedy is. It’s not funny because of its context.

However, there is another plotline. Let’s call it the C plot, and that is King and the Collector.

This should be a deus ex machina, or god from the machine. This should break the story, the hand of the author shown to get the protagonists out from the corner they have been written into. But it isn’t.

We have seen King discover the Collector over the past few episodes. He hasn’t known what they were, but the two have been shown to be connected.

Now, we see all the dominos slot into place, then start falling. We see King, Kikimora, and the Collector all arrive in the same place, and we see King drastically misinterpret the power of what he is dealing with.

But I want to be clear here, why would he know better? Why would anyone know better? As far as he is aware, this is something that can stop Belos, and he needs a Hail Mary. What would you do if you were given those two pieces of information?

Add to this that he is a literal child who isn’t in the best place mentally because he has just had his entire world shattered by the revelation of his species. Of course he would make this decision. This isn’t a plot hole, it's an inevitability, that’s what makes it so tragic.

Everything moves forwards towards one event.

Pause. Could you please do me a favour? Raise your hand and move it as fast as you can in one direction, then try to stop it in place. Be sudden with the start and end, and take note of how it feels.

Take a moment.

Thank you.

You will notice that stopping moving feels weird. It’s shaky, and there is resistance to you stopping. At the risk of oversimplification, this is momentum in action.

Energy builds up and it needs somewhere to go, everything moves forwards, to where? If you stop the series, what happens to that energy?

In this case, it gets dispersed amongst the fans and then picked up later.

The Owl House was finished. The show ran its course. But then it got brought back to life, and that changes my reading of its purpose.

Perhaps I read this as the finale to the entire show. Life happens, deal with it. Consider this a warning.

Perhaps I read this as the finale to a season, setting up stakes for a final sprint.

Or perhaps I read this metatextually.

I think that The Owl House got revived in no small part because of the sheer drive behind King’s Tide. If I namedrop almost any other episode of this series, you will have to look up what happened, but King’s Tide is burned into your brain.

Maybe if you know the series off by heart you will do better, but for the majority of fans, Hollow Mind and King’s Tide are pretty much it.

King’s Tide built up energy, then gave it to you and ended in a way that was pointedly unsatisfying. It said “we aren’t done, and you can do something about it.” Yes, the characters are great, but The Owl House came back because it wasn’t finished.

This is a solid minute of shot after shot, each of which I could analyse individually for hours on end. But I linger here. It's a small thing, but it's the smile. The only time Raine smiles in the entire episode. They have saved Eda's life, and sacrificed their own, and they do not regret it one bit. But also, the light of the ritual cuts through their relationship, tearing them apart and as Eda tries to reach across that barrier, it burns her. She is forcefully separated from Raine, and she is powerless except to watch them fall.

Then there is this, the lives broken by machinations of people who don't care. The stories sacrificed for one man's game. The tears of tragedy.

There is a lot to meaning, and you can’t truly grasp authorial intent until you have seen everything they have laid out on the table. But you can draw conclusions based on what you have seen so far. That’s why theory crafting is so much fun.

So, going into the final season, here is what I want you to keep in mind:

The Owl House is about freedom. Freedom to be who you are without fear of bigotry and xenophobia. It is a fundamentally queer story more than just a story with queer people in it.

The Owl House is about knowledge and change. Luz’s journey isn’t over yet, and now she has to learn about the world she came from, the world she willingly left.

The Owl House is about hope. Things are bad, but they will get better. Everything can always get better. The point of no return is called the end, and we haven’t reached it yet.

Light, do not faulter.

Final Thoughts

There is so much to this episode that I want to talk about but I haven’t formulated thoughts on properly.

Like, Eda and Raine’s scenes with their more unsubtle visual storytelling techniques of memories and a big ol’ crack in their relationships as Raine passes out. I don’t have anything to say about that other than look at it, but it makes my brain buzz.

Similarly, everyone else with a coven sigil passes out, and yet Hunter, a child, is still standing despite it all. He’s obviously about to fall at any moment, but he is still gritting his teeth and facing down Belos. Once again, I this doesn’t relate to my point, but asdfghjkl.

Next week, I will not be covering Thanks To Them, and instead will be discussing the missing years. i.e. the fanart and fanfiction that kept the show alive until its re-emergence.

Stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[musings-of-a-rose]

I Don't Want to See Tomorrow (Unless I See It With You) - Chapter 3

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader nicknamed "Juni"

Word Count: 5300+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: I've had this idea in my head for well over a year and with the Fallout show being dropped (and absolutely AMAZING), I figured now was the time to post it! So this is a Triple Frontier/Fallout crossover au. Huge shoutout to @mermaidxatxheart for listening to probably hours of audio at this point of me talking myself through this fic. And to @deathbecomesnerds for listening to me prattle on about video game fics and giving me her own advice.

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

I Don’t Want to See Tomorrow (Unless I See It With You) Masterlist

My body yanks me from my sorrow. Its need to eat and drink overpowering anything else I may be feeling. I blink awake, noticing the bottle of purified water and a snack are still sitting on the nightstand from when Hawthone brought them. I manage to sit up, my head spinning, vision blurry and reach for the can of water. I pop it open and bring it to my chapped lips, taking a few small sips before setting it back down. I want to chug the whole thing but I don't know where else there's clean water. I nibble on some of the stale Fancy Lads Cakes that Hawthorne had left, but I was never a big fan of them even when they were fresh. Still, it's something. I guess.

Hawthorne rounds the corner and enters my room, his large, round, metallic eye surveying me. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

I shrug. It's the best I can offer. "How long was I out?"

"A few days, ma'am. I was starting to get worried."

I can't even offer him a small smile, my insides still reeling from the loss of Benny. And also the stale cakes. "I'm sorry, Hawthorne."

"Can I bring you anything?"

I look down at the nightstand where the snack cakes and water still sit. "Do you know..I mean, have you talked to anyone in the last 200 years?"

"A few people, ma'am. The ones in Concord didn't shoot at me, at least. They did tell me to avoid a group called Raiders. Nasty people. I had thought to venture out further but the way they described them, I didn't want to chance ending up as parts."

"So...so I'm not the only one?"

"Oh no, ma'am. From what I hear, there are settlements, other groups trying to make the wasteland better."

It's not Benny, not by a long shot, but at least I'm not the only person left in the world. Or at least the area. Relief floods my system, but only for a moment as my body settles back on grief.

"Did they say anything about food or water?"

"They did mention something about a water purifier, but I don't know if they had it with them or they were looking to fix it. They did have food with them that looks like it was grown. Tatos, I think they called them. Small round things that look like tomatoes."

My brain perks up at the thought of studying this, unable to quell my curious scientific side. "Interesting." If there were other people, maybe one of them knows something about the vaults. It's possible I could find where Benny...wait. Vault Tech lied to us and froze us instead of decontaminating us. But if they did it to me...maybe the same thing happened to Benny? He was guarding some fancy to do person. Surely they would've had access to a vault? I stand up quickly, nearly falling over as the edges of my vision darken before normalzing, my head rushing. I need to eat more than stale snack cakes.

I reach out and place my hand on the wall to steady myself, shaking my head to clear the last of the haziness away. "I need to find other people."

"Oh. Yes of course, ma'am. I understand."

I look up at Hawthorne, his metal body seemingly deflating a little in disappointment. "I need to try and find out what happened to Benny. If I made it in a vault, maybe he did too."

"Yes, ma'am. I do hope that Lieutennant Miller made it."

I swallow hard. "Yeah. Me too. But whether or not he's....we'll still need a place to live. Do you think you can spruce up the whole neighborhood?"

His whole metallic body straightens. "Yes ma'am! I can do that! But can I make a small request?"

"Of course."

"There are a few parts and things that I could use to help. Could I give you a list and if you find them, could you bring them back?"

"I don't see why not."

He tells me what he needs and I record it in my Pip Boy. It's a simple list, really. I could find most of this at that Red Rocket Station. If it's still standing. If not, I could always head into Concord, the next closest town. Besides, Hawthorne mentioned meeting people in Concord. Maybe they're still there. And hopefully still friendly.

I re-pack my backpack with my meager supplies, swallowing down my earlier thoughts about Benny. I have to focus on the task at hand. And hope that it brings me some answers at least. I say my goodbyes to Hawthorne, who immediately begins to tidy, as much as he can anyway. As I step outside, I can hear him mumbling to himself about the "abysmal state of the begonias." Despite myself, I chuckle at the thought of a 200+ year old robot worrying about flowers in an apocalyptic wasteland.

I cross over the small bridge that connects our quaint, island neighborhood to the land proper, the waters of Misty Lake bubbling and quietly rushing below my steps. I pause for a moment, looking out over the water. It looks clean, but I know better. If the roach I encountered was that large, there's no way that water is as clean as it looks.

I continue walking about a quarter of a mile, grateful that I haven't encountered any new creatures when I see it - the giant, launching rocket on top of the Red Rocket fill station. Somehow, it had made it! I quicken my pace, rounding the corner, the building coming into full sight. But the commotion outside it's main door stops me in my tracks.

A dog, a German Shepherd if I'm seeing right, is fighting off..what the actual fuck is that thing? It's about the same length as the dog but fat, with no fur but wrinkled, white/tan skin, sort of like a naked mole rat. Wait. Is that a rat?? Before I can look again, it dives into a hole in the ground that it made impossibly fast. The dog stands at the edge of the hole, barking. But then the dog stops, his head turning to the side as he looks at the ground, moving away from the hole. Everything is quiet.

SCREECH!

The rat thing emerges from the ground in a flurry of dirt, catching the dog off guard. It lunges for the dog and manages to nip his back leg, the dog's yelp of pain followed by whimpers echoing off the building behind them. The rat turns on the limping dog, drool dripping from it's open mouth. Without thinking, I draw my gun and aim, firing without hesitating and surprising myself when I hit my mark.

The rat screeches in pain and then crumbles to the ground, motionless. The dog stares at the rat for a moment then, seeing it's no longer alive, slumps to the ground. I holster my weapon and head towards the dog, stopping when its head snaps up to me, eyes boring into mine in judgement. I hold my hands up, palms facing the dog.

"It's ok, buddy. I'm here to help you."

The dog, a boy, I realize, studies me for a moment longer and whines again, licking the wound on his leg a few times before looking back up at me, as if asking me to take a look. I walk up to him an kneel down, looking at his leg. It looks pretty deep, blood spilling from the open gash. I glance over at the rat, its mouth hanging open, its giant teeth protruding out. No wonder it looks this bad.

"Wait here a minute, bud. I'll see if they still have a med kit."

I stand back up, his eyes on me as I move towards the Red Rocket station. I pull my gun back out, just in case, but encounter nothing new inside. I did, however, find a first aid box, still completely intact. I open it and find 3 stimpaks, a sense of relief flooding my system. At least I have something to heal with if I need it. I really hope I don't need it.

I toss 2 of them in my backpack and head back outside with the third. I kneel down next to the dog again and he looks from me to the stimpack in my hand.

"I'm going to poke you with this but I promise you'll feel much better, ok?"

He barks once, like he agrees, and waits patiently. I take a deep breath and poke the needle from the stimpack into his side, a little whimper coming from him at the contact. But then the medicine is inside him and I can see the wound starting to heal already. Once it does, he licks at it to clear the blood and then jumps up, barking and hopping around me. I give his head a scratch and he nudges me for more.

"You almost became dogmeat, dude. You gotta be careful." He jumps up and tries to lick at my face. I laugh and back up. "Ok, ok! You're welcome, Dogmeat." He lets out huff and puts his head on my side. I pat him a few more times before heading back over towards the Red Rocket, bringing up the list that Hawthorne gave me on my Pip Boy. To my amazement, Dogmeat follows me, wagging his tail and staying by my side.

"You staying with me now, Dogmeat?" He barks, panting happily while his tail waggs quicker. What did we ever do to deserve dogs?

"Alright, then. But try not to get hurt, ok?" I scratch behind his ears once more before looking around the station. I was able to find pretty much everything Hawthorne had asked for, my backpack considerably heavier on my small trek back to my neighborhood, Sanctuary Hills.

I spend the next few weeks with Hawthorne and Dogmeat, sprucing up the neighborhood as best as we can. Several of the homes are beyond repair, roofs caved in and the insides all crumbled. Maybe if more people are ever around, we can clear them out and use the wood to build something new. Or fortify something. There's definitely holes in the outer barrier of Sanctuary Hills.

The plants, though. The adaptations to the radiation is more than anything I ever worked on in the lab! Granted that was all on a much smaller scale in a controlled environment. Some plants have merged with others and mutated to be something new, while others just became a more intense version of themselves. And still others seem virtually unphased by any of it, still looking the same as they did 200 years ago.

I was able to forage for some foods, Hawthorne and my Pip boy helping me to scan the foods to see what I should really avoid and what would be tolerable. Some of the other abandoned houses had pre-bomb foods still fully intact, but honestly sometimes, I'd rather take my chances on a radiated berry than a Salisbury Steak that's stayed the same over 2 centuries.

But I can't stay here like this forever. I need to find information about Benny. And now that I've got more food saved up, grateful for the basement full of purified water cans that one of our neighbors had squirreled away, it's time for me to venture out. Hawthorne continues to work on the neighborhood, but I can tell he thinks I won't be back. And maybe he's right. Dogmeat comes with me, not wanting to leave my side unless I tell him to. He's good at finding things and also catching small critters, which drastically improves meal times.

We head over the Old North Bridge and past the Red Rocket where Dogmeat and I first met, and continue down the road towards Concord. It's not too much farther, maybe another couple of miles, but about halfway there, Dogmeat suddenly stops, his ears perked up as he stares intensely ahead at the road.

"What is it, boy?" I speak quietly to him, kneeling by his side. He lets out a low "bufff". I see nothing, but the road does wind away a bit down the road. I don't hear anything right away, but then I decide to close my eyes, focus on hearing. And that's when I finally do hear it - voices. And not just any voices, human voices.

I make a clicking sound to Dogmeat and he follows me immediately into the tall brambles by the side of the road, crouching to avoid detection. We wait about 15 minutes before the people are finally in view. They must be injured for them to have taken this long.

"..all I'm saying, is that we've been wandering around looking for this Sanctuary place Mama Murphy has been claiming she sees in her "visions". And what do we have to show for it? More scars, more empty bellies, and less people."

"Marcy, you know Mama Murphy doesn't lie. She's trying to get us to a safe place."

A scoff. "Yeah, but how many of us will be alive by then? We just lost 3 more people back there to that fucking deathclaw."

What the hell is a deathclaw? I really don't want to find out. The group stops, almost in line with where we're hiding and I get a good look at them. They're all in pretty rough shape, their clothes ripped in a lot of places, bags under their eyes, some woulds still bleeding, and an overall sense of weariness. Their leader, a man with dark skin and a wide brimmed hat, carries some kind of gun type weapon with a crank. One I'm not really familiar with. But everyone else seems to have holstered their weapons. If they had them. They don't seem like a threat to me. In fact, they may have information on the Vaults. I look at Dogmeat and he looks at them, waiting for a few moments before looking at me, seemingly in agreement.

I stand from where I had been crouching, my hands raised in front of me. "Hey there! Is everyone ok?"

The man with the hat immediately turns to me, his weapon raised and aiming directly at my chest. "Stop right there!"

I don't move, my hands still held up in front of me. "I'm sorry. I haven't seen people in...a very long time. Is everyone ok?"

The man with the hat glances sideways at his group before back at me. "We can still fight."

"Oh no! I'm not..I want to help!"

"Yeah? Prove it!" The woman who had been complaining before, dark hair, lighter skin, eyes narrowing further at me, yells snarkily at me. Marcy, I think her name is.

"How do I prove that?"

"Wait." An older woman's voice spoke from inside the group of people and the mat with the hat turned to look at her. An older woman, maybe in her 60's, with a beanie hat and blue coat looks up at me. "Are you the vault dweller?"

I glance down at my bright blue jumpsuit with the yellow paneling. “Yeah.”

Marcy snorts, but the woman stares deep into my eyes. “The one lost to time?”

My eyes go wide, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “She’s the one who can take us to Sanctuary.”

Marcy scoffs. “We just see some random chick in a vault suit and we’re just supposed to-”

“Sanctuary?” I ask the woman, never having taken my eyes off hers. 

She nods. “A place we can make safe and call home.”

How did this woman know about me? A vault dweller “lost to time”? And then she says I can take them to Sanctuary. Like Sanctuary Hills? Where my home is? Sure, it needs some love, but it is on an island. There’s only a few holes in the perimeter, not a bad place to hold up. But still. I hardly know these people-

“Mama Murphy, we can’t just go asking citizens to take us to places and hope they know what we’re talking about.”

Her eyes are still on me, studying me. “She knows what I’m talking about.”

Several long moments pass before the man in the hat clears his throat, holding his hand out towards me. “I’m sorry for the introductions. My name is Preston and I’m with the Minutemen.” I shake his hand but my confusion must show on my face because he continues. “Oh, right. Vault dweller. The Minutemen are made up of civilian volunteers. We’re here to protect the people at a minute’s notice.”

Minutemen. Sounds like a good organization. I’m going to have to trust at some point if I want answers. 

“You can call me Juni.”

Marcy chuckles. “I think I’ll stick with Vault Dweller.”

Preston glances sideways at her before back at me. “It’s nice to meet you, Juni.”

No time like the present. “Do you know anything about any other vaults? Around Boston?”

Preston nods. “Only a bit. Met a couple of them a while back. 2 women. They had some…unique features-”

“If you think one eye and horns are just unique.”

I look at Marcy. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Marcy, we call them mutations. Apparently, they were uh..experimented on in their vault. Not just them but all the generations before them. So…mutations.”

So they were running experiments in all of the vaults. I guess that makes sense, considering they never told us about the cryo and even pretended it was decontamination. What else has Vault Tech done?

“What vault were they from?” I ask Preston. 

He shrugs. “They didn’t say. Got rid of their vault suits before we met too.”

Well, at least there are other vault dwellers out there. That means, I may be able to communicate with them from my vault, assuming the equipment works. It’s not much, but a tiny flutter of hope billows in my stomach at the thought of possibly finding out more information about Benny. 

“About Sanctuary-”

Marcy cuts me off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t listen to Mama Murphy. She’s high most of the time she comes up with these visions.”

“That may be, but I live in a place called Sanctuary Hills. It’s not to far from here actually. Would…would you all like to accompany me back? There’s work that needs to be done to refortify it. But with everyone pitching in, I don’t see that being an issue. There’s plenty of space for everyone.”

All of their eyes are fixed on me, wide and bewildered. Except for Mama Murphy, who simply smirks, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it. A man with spiked brown hair, coveralls, and goggles hanging around his neck speaks up from the back of the group.

“Did you say there were things to fix up?”

“I did.”

The man turns to Preston, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline as he waits for his answer.

“Can you give us a moment, Juni?” 

“Sure. Come on, Dogmeat.” I turn and head back in the Red Rocket station, gathering up the few parts and bits that I thought may be useful while the group discussed things outside. Only a minute later, Preston was calling for me to come back. I tossed the parts in my bag and headed back over, wiping my hands on my pants. 

“We accept your offer of refuge.” Preston sticks his hand out and I shake it.

“Great! Follow me.”

The group follows me back over the bridge to Sanctuary Hills, their murmurs growing quiet as they take in the setting. I can hear the man in the coveralls, Sturges, mumbling to himself, making a list of things to fix up and materials he’d need. Preston scans the area as does Marcy, albeit with a more skeptical look. We stop at the house across the street from mine, some chairs and benches already setup under the open garage. Hawthorne had done a great job of cleaning up and arranging what he could. Mama Murphy sat in the chair and groaned, leaning her foot across her opposite leg, sliding off her shoes to massage her foot. 

“Don’t get old, dear. It’s not kind to your body.”

“I’m older than you.”

She looks up at me and starts to laugh. “I guess you are!”

Marcy pauses her pacing and looks at me. “What? You’re not older than her.”

I shrug. “She was right about me. I uh…I was frozen in my vault. I’m-” I think a moment. “-I’m about 228 years old.”

Everyone’s jaw drops. “228 years old? So you were like..here? Before?”

I nod and toss my thumb over my shoulder, pointing at my home. “I grew up in that house. My parents still lived there when…”

My mind races back to that day, a vivid image of the mushroom cloud silently erupting over the city. I shake my head to rid it of the memory and give them a small smile. “Anyway…Hawthorne-” I nod towards the Mr. Handy robot that had floated up to us. “- has been trying his best to get things fixed up, but we really need extra hands.”

“I’m afraid I’m all thumbs. Rather, I’m no thumbs,” Hawthorne says matter-of-factly. Everyone chuckles lightly. 

Sturges looks around. “I’ve been making a list of things we can do to fortify this place. Things we’d need to get. Jung, you still got ahold of that water purifier?”

“You have a water purifier?” I ask him, shocked.

He nods. “Yup! Ah, thanks Jung.” The man that had been hanging primarily behind Marcy hands him a complicated looking device. Sturges looks it over and nods. “Still in good shape! I can put this in the water down there, but we’ll need to secure it. If someone sees this, that river won’t stop them from trying to get it.”

The rest of the night is spent around a campfire, eating some of the food I’d managed to grow, along with some of their rations, while we discussed what needs to be done to make this place like a fort. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad about changing the way Sanctuary Hills looks, but I’m not a fool. This world is not the one I came from, and I yield to their expertise in this new adventure. 

We spend the next several months putting up walls and scrounging for parts for a few turrets in nearby Concord. I learn more about this wasteland, or what they call The Commonwealth. Apparently, more than just roaches had mutated, and I listen in horror with all of the mutated creatures that they’ve encountered. While I’ve fought more than just the rad roach and mole rat, I haven’t run across a deathclaw or radscorpion yet. And while I’m still a little unclear about what a deathclaw is other than some sort of giant dinosaur lizard, I do know for sure that I don’t want to ever meet one. No matter how curious I am. 

They in turn ask me questions about life before. What it was like, the food, could we just drink any water, the food, was everything clean, what was the food like. I’m not surprised the food was what they’re interested in most, especially after having the food that is the new normal. I never would have guessed I’d be eating friend radroach or baked bloatfly, but after I threw up from not having enough protein, I had to cave. Hakuna matata. 

Once the wall was up, I started heading back into the vault a few times a week. At first, I brought Sturges and Marcy with me, all of us scavenging for parts and things we could use. The vault was fairly stripped by this point, a mere skeleton of its former glory. We did get everyone out of the cryo pods, digging a small cemetery above ground and giving them a proper burial. So much unnecessary loss. Part of me wonders how long I sat there, frozen, while my neighbors were long since dead.

Once they gathered everything they could, I continued to come down to fiddle with the computers, trying to contact any other vaults. I’m met mostly with static, which makes sense. A lot of vaults may just be empty, people having left them a long time ago. Or maybe they lay dormant. Or dead. 

I did get ahold of a couple vaults, but one spoke some weird made up language and another the reception was so spotty I could barely make them out. All I managed to figure out was they were on the west coast, so they couldn’t really help me out anyway. Still, I kept at it, holding onto that last spark of hope that he was still out there somewhere. Or I could at least find out what happened to him. I fiddle with the controls, turning knobs and repeating my vault number into the microphone, only static in return. I glance at the watch on my Pip Boy and sit up, stretching. I almost didn’t come today, but I wanted to give it one quick shot this morning before I had to harvest the crops we’d been growing: tatos, like a tomato, mutfruit, a small, purple fruit that tastes sweet, and corn. We were growing extra as we could use them to make useful tools, like adhesive or acid, which I was able to make extra potent with my background knowledge in bio-nuclear agriculture. 

I gather up my bag and Dogmeat stretches, standing up to accompany me out of the vault. As we ascend, I kneel down and scratch him behind the ear, patting his head as I stand back up, feeling him give my hand a quick lick. The sun crests over the edge of the metal tube, the gears groaning slightly as they settle into place. I shield my eyes as the light hits them, turning to head down the path back towards Sanctuary Hills. But as I near it, I can hear panicked voices, tools moving quicker than normal. It takes several knocks on the gate before it opens, Mama Murphy standing there, looking worried. 

“Hey, Mama Murphy. What’s going on?”

Her eyes are filled with fear, an emotion I had yet to see in her. 

“Nightshade.”

I cock my head, my eyebrows pulling together. “Like the plant?”

She shakes her head, leaning in close to whisper. “Like the person.”

I have no idea what she’s talking about. Or who. “I don’t understand.”

Preston walks up then, beckoning me to him. “Good, you’re back. We could use your help over at the crops.”

I look back at Mama Murphy, her eyes wide and worried before I follow Preston to the garden, jogging just to keep up with his large gait. Marcy and Jung are in the garden, hurriedly trying to gather up crops, tossing them into bags. 

“Preston, what’s going on?”

He looks back at me, the same worry in Mama Murphy’s eyes in his own. “Nightshade.”

“You keep saying that like I’m supposed to know what that means.”

“It means,” Marcy yells from her crouched position next to a tato plant. “That we better have a good choice of crap for him or he’ll kill us all. And that’s if he’s kind.”

I look at Preston for confirmation and he nods. “He’s a courier and a merc. He moves between settlements and Raiders, bartering deals and…contracts.”

“That doesn’t sound entirely terrible. I mean, aren’t the Raiders nasty? This way, less people die?”

Preston grimaces. “Not entirely. I mean, sure. Overall, there’s less mass deaths. Raiders were known to come in and destroy an entire area and then move on. Now, those areas are still getting to be used for farming and such.”

“So what’s the issue?”

“If you don’t comply and give him what he demands…well. It doesn’t end well.”

I look back over at Marcy and Jung, both of them scrutinizing each piece of fruit before deciding if it was good enough for this Nightshade before either leaving it or tossing it in a burlap sack. 

“Is this all for one person?”

Preston shrugs. “Sometimes. Other times, it’s for other groups. Unless he tells us, we don’t ask.”

“This is a lot of food.”

“It is.”

“We need these rations to give out to other settlements, the ones that you said need our help.”

He sighs. “I just don’t see a way we can keep everything here and our lives. We’ll just have to grow more.”

I’ll have to think on that. But… “You said he travels around?”

Preston nods. “Yeah. All around the Commonwealth. Some other areas too like Far Harbor up north and the old Nuka Cola World. Which is basically a giant raider settlement now.”

“When do you have to give him the supplies?”

“Tomorrow at noon. At the Red Rocket where we met you. Why?”

“I’d like to be the one to bring them.”

Preston shakes his head vehemently. “No. No way. I’m not going to let you face this man by yourself.”

“I won’t be alone. I have Dogmeat.”

Preston scoffs. “That won’t be enough.”

“If we have all the supplies he asked for, I don’t see the issue.”

“He’s the Nightshade, Juni.”

“And he could be the only one who has information about Benny.”

Preston opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand. “I’m doing this, Preston. I’ll be ok. And if I’m not, then just..carry on. You already have Sanctuary Hills. You’ll be fine. The Commonwealth needs you more than me.”

He studies me for a few moments before nodding. “I can’t convince you otherwise?”

I shake my head. “Not when it comes to possibly finding out more information about Benny.”

“I understand. Please be careful.”

I leave the next morning, a few hours before I would need to be at the Red Rocket. It takes about 45 minutes to walk there, especially with the supplies this Nightshade requested, a random mix of provisions and scrap. Dogmeat scouts ahead of me, sniffing the ground, making sure we’re safe. The bright Red Rocket station gleams through the light fog, but as we approach, we see no one waiting there. Figures. 

I drop the bags outside, standing up and stretching my back. Dogmeat sniffs around and then stands in front of me, tail wagging and eyes watching me. Its been a while since we’ve been outside of the gates or the vault and I can tell he wants to explore. 

“Alright. Go get a squirrel or something. I’ll be ok.” He cocks his head at me and whines. I bend to scratch behind his ears. “Go on. I know you want to hunt.” A quick lick to my hand and he’s off, disappearing out into the bushes. 

I sigh, my hands on my hips as I look around. The fog has only lifted slightly and I’m unable to see past the perimeter of the station. It’s quiet, nothing really moving, not even a breeze. I start to pace, kicking the dirt outside a little with my toe. But after a while, I grow bored and decide to head inside the station to do another sweep for things. We’ve been here so many times, but anything to break up the boredom. I’ll count ceiling tiles if I have to. I pick up a box and set it on the counter inside, bending over it to look inside, poking around at the random things in it. Basically trash, but you never know. Suddenly, I feel a cold, metal cylinder push against the back of my neck and I realize with horror that it’s the barrel of a gun. It clicks, a round sliding into the chamber and my heart feels like it’s going to beat through my chest. Is this the Nightshade? I can’t believe I let my guard down.

“Where the fuck did you get this jumpsuit?”

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[thegenderdruid]

now that I've had a bit of time to reflect I have thoughts(tm) about the ending of 1000xRESIST, spoilers below the cur for the ending of the game although weirdly not in a way that touches on any major plot spoilers, more about themes and message and I'll try to avoid unnecessary details to minimize the spoilerage as much as possible

Ok so at the end of the game you get a sequence where you're asked to pass judgement on all of the characters of the game and decide whether or not to let them live into the future or not, when I first got to the ending my first instinct was to try saving everyone but doing so resulted in what the game clearly presented as a bad end since it didn't roll credits and kicked me back to the start of the scene which I found extremely unsatisfying, but after a quick break and some reflection I took the hint that the game was very clearly shoving in my face and chose not to save the pro-fascist rebel character who was shown in the first ending to be a problem(tm) but did once again chose to let the fascist government's soldiers live and that gave another bad ending where the main character of the 2nd half seemingly randomly became a dictator herself and executed all of her old friends for some reason, and finally I once again took the hint and chose not to save the old regime's soldiers too and that finally got me the game's real ending, notably I still saved the morally grey leader and lieutenant of the fascist regime but the renegade and ths grunts had to go to get a good ending. Which is fascinating to me, particularly the latter, at first I hated this decision but the more I think about it the more I think I respect it even if I personally disagree, like this is specially a game in part about refugees from the fascist regime in Hong Kong and while it's easy for me as an outside observer to take my moral high ground and say that in a post-fascist regime we should forgive and try to reintegrate the people who chose to serve out the state's evil will, I can absolutely see why this is an issue the game wants to take a stand on and while I disagree with their conclusion, the fact that it forced me as a player to grapple with that issue is something I actually respect a lot now that I've had time to reflect on it and a very creative use of the video game medium to present this ethical question, so yeah, great game, really interesting ending that grew on me the more I thought about it

[twisted-will-au]

Hey, dude. So, I got to the fight against Asgore in Undertale, and for some reason after I died to him once, my game crashed. Huh. That's weird. I don't think I've ever seen the game crash when dying to Asgore before in any playthroughs I've watched. Well, just start the game again. I did, but the issue is that my entire save file seems to have gotten corrupted? It brought me back to the very start of the game. That sucks. You might want to try and report that bug to the creator. I'm not sure how common it is but it'd be worth a shot. Yeah, I probably will. But man, this is a huge bummer. I'm going to have to replay the entire game again just to fight Asgore. To be honest, when I died to him and my game crashed, at first, I thought it was an intentional thing since he'd take your SOUL if you lost against him. Well, it is intentional for another fight that's- Hey dude no spoilers. I didn't avoid all of those Youtube gameplay videos for nothing. Even if I did get spoiled on that final genocide route fight. Haha, sorry, my bad. Also, yeah, I don't think you could avoid that even if you tried. Everyone was posting about the Sans fight non-stop. Well... I'm going to take a break from playing the game for now. I'll come back to it later. Will most likely try and speed through interactions to get back to this point. Maybe even try some alternative choices now that I have the chance? I'll talk to you later, dude. See ya.

[curio-queries]

I saw Jungkook's documentary this weekend and have just a few thoughts. If you're avoiding spoilers, don't click the cut!

The Hybe Documentary Format

So...as a reminder to you all, I do not have professional expertise in the film industry. I'm just a very discerning consumer. I also haven't seen Hobi's documentary and I watched Road to D-Day while I was quite ill last year so I only vaguely remember some bits. (I'll definitely be getting back to those sooner rather than later though as research for a series of posts I'm developing.) That being said, I think we have enough data points to state that Hybe has absolutely no interest in filmmaking techniques outside of music videos.

I did mostly enjoy my experience seeing this film yesterday and I'm always grateful for any amount of footage the members are willing to share with us but this 'documentary ' was worse than Jimin's Production Diary. Any of you that managed to make it through my rambling review will know how dissatisfied I was with that.

I Am Still is not a documentary, it's a mixture of showcase footage and behind-the-scenes clips, most of which has already been divulged in the various episodes and shooting sketches on YouTube. Honestly, if you're not able to see the film, just go rewatch all of the bangtantv content for JKs solo period and the showcase and you'll be up to speed with 85% of what was in the documentary.

There are definitely some expansions to the storylines featured in the bangtantv content; mostly being anything that wasn't overtly optimistic. For example, we learn a little bit more about just how sick JK was during the Seven/3D promotions. That content likely was pulled from the bangtantv edit because it would have put a damper on the promotions and given certain 'fans' a focus to fixate their vitriol. But overall, it feels more like an extended version of existing content rather than a new work. At least JPD didn't continually feed us footage we'd seen before.

I'm someone who gets completely bothered by previews spoiling content so I didn't watch any of the promos until after I saw it and I am so glad I skipped them because most of the 'original' scenes of the film were featured in least one of them. Alas, that's a separate issue of which I'm definitely in the minority.

Was There No Structure?

Kinda. Like JPD, there is a semblance of a structure: Attempting to follow the chronology of release activities for JKs GOLDEN album through the lens of JKs staement trying to prove that he is still worthy of everything he was being hailed as during the BTS group activities but I don't feel this was successfully executed. It jumps round enough and isn't very successful in explaining the events if you didn't already know about them. The film starts with the SEVEN performance at GMA and footage that we've already seen of JK recording SEVEN, not mentioning anything about the music video or really how JK got involved with the song in the first place. The rest of the story beats have similar missing points.

They have a vague narrative with the 'I Am Still' points but that's mostly carried by subs and a couple of moments that JK mentions himself. I'm not saying it's not true or wasn't top-of-mind for JK during this process but it's not the main point of many of the moment/messages he shared with us during this time period so it feels a little disingenuous since everything else jn this film really only makes sense if you've already seen quite a lot of behind-the-scenes content.

Honestly, it makes me question the intended audience. Obviously, they know that ARMY will shell out whatever we need to when there's new content from our members but most of us will have already seen all of the bangtantv content so we are already familiar with the most of the footage in this film. I genuinely don't think this was produced in such a way to be palatable for audiences not familiar with BTS so who does that leave? Our friends and family that are peripherally aware of the content but haven't learned the basics of JKs album? ARMY with short term memories only?

But again, it seems this film was compiled by an editing team and not lead by a director with experience in crafting a documentary. The only new footage that Ican guarantee was captured with the express purpose of being included in this film was the few clips of JK talking in the practice room with the albums displayed by him. But we all know that's where all of the promo clips were gathered as well. I have issues with that approach as well but I'll leave this point alone for now unless anyone is interested.

Suffice it to say, all of these suppositions over the past year about how JKs documentary was getting special treatment or even questioning about investment in a project up front are dead. This was a product assembled with bits of what they already had completely in-house which was sold for distribution.

So, Did We Learn NOTHING?

No, there are a few Golden nuggets (see what I did there?). I can't recall everything having only seen it once (and having a rather disruptive audience - I swear there were only dozen or so ppl in my theater but I forget how obnoxious teenagers can be. I'm glad they're enjoying and supporting but we really didn't need light sticks flashing during a film and how many times does one person need to get up to answer their phone during this runtime? Three according to the row in front of mine.)

Anyway, something I thought was interesting to learn was that Standing Next To You was initially recorded the day after JK heard it for the first time. And hearing a little more about how JK yearned to perform that song definitelygot me thinking a little more about it. We can't reach any conclusions just with this little nugget but it does open the door to some theories. Like perhaps they were initially planning to have JK record two separate albums? SEVEN and 3D would be the singles of the first and JK would perform them as we saw but perhaps STNY was originally planned to be the single of the 2nd album that would release while he was in the military and thus be unable to perform it? Maybe JK loved STNY so much that everything was grouped into one album and Never Let Go was the only track held back for ms? Definitely some theorizing space to be had now.

Final thoughts?

Similar to my thoughts on the GCF: Budapest (which I feel would have had a much better reception if it had been labeled as a bangtan episode rather than a GCF), I AM Still should not have purported to be a documentary. It was much more similar to the annual Memories compilations. But the general public would not have shelled out the $25 to go to a theater to watch a Memories DVD so alas, we have our content packaged as a ~documentary~...

Did my view on the music change at all? Not because of the documentary. We're coming up on the year anniversary of GOLDEN and it's still definitely not my favorite. I completely understand why some people like it but it's just not to my taste. The overall impact falls a little flat for me. Too much breadth and not enough depth. I came into my musical soul during the 00s emo phase and will always be a sucker for music that absolutely drips in an emotional way rather than catchy songs vaguely referencing heartache and love. Again, just a matter of viewpoint.

I do think most of these songs stand much better being shuffled amongst other artists in a Playlist and several of them are significantly better when JK sang them live but I still won't be listening to them regularly. I wholeheartedly believe JK completed his task of proving himself as an extremely dedicated and versatile singer and performer. He's definitely got some solid points added to his resume after this project.