#There are only 6 dads???? no not true

[fazcinatingblog]

Oh my bad Renshaw is a dad, I thought he was like 12

[natelia-aldelliz]

Ghost : Ok, why do you baby Gaz so much, you do know he's a grown man, right?

Price : Oh come on, first off I don't baby him, second, jealousy doesn't suit you, third, he's the youngest of us, it's only normal that I watch over him a bit more, he's basically a baby, he just turned 27 last week!

Gaz : Damn, don't remind me, I feel old. But also like, maybe it's because he's the youngest sibling, but I do feel older than Soap most days, to be honest.

Price : Well yeah, you two are very close in age, but Soap's actually gonna turn 29 later this year, right Soap?

Soap :

Price : ... Soap?

Soap : Yep, sorry, yeah, wasn't paying attention, sure, I'm gonna be uh... 28? Wait no, that was last year, 29 right, ahah...

Ghost :

Gaz :

Price :

Soap : *avoids eye contact*

Price : How old are you son?

Soap : 29?

Gaz : Aren't you supposed to be 28...?

Soap : Ahah, yeah, that's what I meant, I'm 28, I'm gonna be 29... right?

Ghost : You're lying aren't you. You look like you're lying. Price, he's lying.

Price : What's your birth year?

Soap :

Price : ....

Soap, visibly counting on his fingers : 1994 !

Ghost, staring at Price with his look(tm) :

Gaz : Wait, you don't know your birth year by heart?

Ghost : No, he just doesn't remember the lie he said.

Soap : Come on, LT, what do you mean, a lie, I'm just your average 29 years old man, born in 1994, what do you want me to say?

Ghost : Johnny, you'd be born in 1993 if you were 29, I mean, if you didn't also lie about your birthday.

Soap :

Price, having had enough of today already : Okay, how old are you really. What's your real birth year.

Soap : ..... 1996 ?

Gaz : I'M NOT THE FUCKING BABY ANYMORE THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE !!!

Ghost, concerned : You're 26 ?? But your file said you've been in active duty for 10 years !

Soap : Yep 😁👍

Ghost :

Soap : Funny story, I was actually 15 when i enrolled, cause it was before my birthday, but yeah.

Ghost :

Soap : Don't look at Price like that, he knew all about me ~allegedly~ kidnapping a military officer and still wanted me, he's not gonna push me out because my joints are gonna hurt two years later than he originally thought.

Gaz : Wait, no, back up, you did what to a military officer?

Soap : Oh, I never told you? Yeah, he was really pissing me off, you know how it is-

Price : I'm going back to bed.

[movedtodykedvonte]

So confused where fandom/fic writers got this interpretation that Miles does stupid shit that doesn’t make sense or barely works out in the end or puts his friends in unnecessary danger all the time. Like in both movies the others simply underestimate him and don’t understand what Miles is doing cause he thinks like Miles, not like your everyday Spiderman. He uses his Venom Strike to throw Kingpin in the ITSV movie and literally saves Gwen and Peter because they went into battle less than ready. Then had the entire plan to lure the Spiders in ATSV, yet I keep seeing him written like he doesn’t think or gets his friends in trouble even when he understands the danger. Most of the time his different thinking has helped or led people to fix personal issues.

The first movie alone pretty much sets in stone that the exact opposite of what he wants is others to get hurt by his actions, inactions or the actions of others and trying to live up to that belief and the expectations it carries. Across the Spider-verse hammers it home with how he constantly tries to save people because that’s what he should do, rather than listen to some theory that is clearly not absolute at best and outright wrong at worst. Every fic has him being the one to cause issues and not fix them when his planning and actions literally helped save Gayatri and her father.  (c’mon we know the glitching was the spot)

Yeah, I get making him stubborn or strong willed cause he doesn’t listen all the time but usually it’s for a good and valid reason, if he listened every time he was told not to, guess how many of our beloved characters would be dead?

[ottoherbalee]

“fuck you” *retwinks the fathers

THE TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR 💥

[rewrentless]

.

[5sospenguinqueen]

Love You FURever | Toto Wolff x Vet! Reader

Summary: When Toto marries a vet, he realises his life consists of yelling about cars and fostering injured animals.

Fluff. Humour. Pinterest pics.

Requested: Yes by anon. Sorry this is only a small one

F1 Masterlist

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ynwolff just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, kimi.antonelli and others

ynwolff some friends from work

1,681 comments

maxverstappen1 sassy and jimmy said they’ve never enjoyed a vet visit so much

→ ynwolff bring them back anytime! such lovely cats

user toto’s plan to get max to mercedes is by making his wife befriend his cats liked by ynwolff

→ user ahah she liked. she’s so funny

lewishamilton roscoe says he can’t wait for his check-up

→ ynwolff i can’t wait to see my sweet boy

→ georgerussell63 i miss when i was your sweet boy

→ ynwolff i’ve been around you too long. you stopped being my sweet boy last year

albon_pets any room for more friends?

→ ynwolff there’s always room for f1 pets

→ user this just makes me think she set up her own clinic purely so she could look after the f1 animals

→ user agreed because she attends every race where a pet is so she can be on hand for them

charles_leclerc this is my sign to get a dog

→ user yes! charles dog dad era needed

mercedesamgf1 i thought we were friends… but you haven’t visited us for ages :(

→ ynwolff don’t make me tell my husband that you’re emotionally blackmailing me

→ mercedesamgf1 he told us to (and there’s no proof if we delete the comment)

→ ynwolff (i have it printed out)

→ user omfg she’s defo the funniest wag

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by ynwolff, georgerussell63 and others

mercedesamgf1 boss man hard at work

4,463 comments

ynwolff tell him not to look so serious. he’ll scare the children

→ totowolff my love, i can see your comments.

→ ynwolff when did you do this? why do you follow mercedes and your drivers and not ME!

→ user toto sleeping on the couch later liked by ynwolff

kimi.antonelli 😊

user i hope he’s trying to figure out how to fix the shit box that is the W15

user he’s such a grandpa with his tied sweaters

→ totowolff i am not a grandpa.

→ ynwolff so when you were complaining about your back aching and begging for a rub?

→ user i bet he doesn’t act like a grandpa at home, that’s how they ended up with a 6 year old

→ georgerussell63 guys, he can see these comments now fyi

user definitely the hottest team principal liked by ynwolff

→ totowolff with the hottest wife.

→ user omg they’re so down bad for each other that he’s breaking pr rules for her

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wolffcare just posted

liked by roscoelovescoco, albon_pets and others

wolffcare boss of the month

933 comments

ynwolff i paid them to post this. literally

→ wolffcare that only makes it like 5% less true

roscoelovescoco vets of thes years

charles_leclerc leo is looking forward to his first trip to the vets tomorrow

maxverstappen1 would recommend

lewishamilton 10/10

alex_albon the cats are begging me to make them fat so they have a reason to come visit you

→ ynwolff stop feeding them cheese

user why are all the f1 drivers here?

→ totowolff because this is my wife.

→ user when he claims you

→ user girl bffr

→ user starting to feel like toto only made an insta so he could join the drivers in praising her online

mercedesamgf1 if the w15 was an animal, we would trust you with it more than toto

→ totowolff my office. monday. 9am.

→ mercedesamgf1 crap

→ ynwolff they were complimenting me, my love

→ totowolff fine.

→ totowolff @/mercedesamgf1 make that 10am.

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

ynwolff just posted

liked by lewishamilton, alex_albon and others

ynwolff my best friends for the weekend

3,311 comments

user omg the fact that she cropped out toto

totowolff liebling, are we no longer friends?

→ ynwolff you left your wet towel on the bed again so no

→ user oh so it’s not just my husband

→ user even millionaires piss off their wives

→ totowolff *billionaire.

roscoelovescoco my favourites grand prixs buddy

→ ynwolff my favourite bulldog

georgerussell63 offended that i’m not in this

→ ynwolff toto, your child is pestering me again

→ lewishamilton actually, i’m a little offended that I’m not in this either but bono is

→ ynwolff omg lewis i’m so sorry. i'll dedicate a whole post to you this weekend

→ georgerussell63 wow

user jack is so cute. he’s the perfect combination of toto and yn

→ totowolff yn did a great job, didn’t she?

→ ynwolff stop trying to convince me to have another

→ user omg he’s trying to get her to have more!

mercedesamgf1 we love having the three of you in the garage. brings us more luck

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totowolff just posted

liked by mercedesamgf1, ynwolff and others

totowolff gentleman, if you fall in love with a vet, she will give you the best family. but far too many animals in your home

4,477 comments

mercedesamgf1 the cutest family 🩵

lewishamilton is this the puppy that was going to be put down?

→ totowolff yes. yn rescued him and i couldn’t say no.

georgerussell63 so that makes one child, three cats, two hamsters, two cows and a puppy. what’s next?

→ ynwolff i really want a pig but toto says he doesn’t like the noise :(

→ user isn’t he trying to get you to have another baby? how is that noise okay?

albon_pets we should open up a zoo together

→ totowolff don’t give her ideas!

charles_leclerc omg when can we meet him!?

→ ynwolff he’ll be at the next couple of races

f1wags what a lovely picture of yn and jack

ynwolff you shouldn't call your son an animal. he’s only a little feral. he gets that from you

→ totowolff i watched you tear into a steak yesterday. not sure i’m the cause.

→ ynwolff uh, you were the cause of my craving for steak

→ totowolff who knew getting you pregnant made you such a carnivore.

→ user pregnant?!

→ user baby #2?!?!

→ user definitely not a grandpa

→ ynwolff toto!

→ totowolff this is why i didn’t want an instagram!

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Requests open! Now include Franco Colapinto and K Mag

Tag list

@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[velvetburberry]

How I manifested my dad being the CEO of a big company:

1. I affirmed for a bit but then I didnt feel like affirming and I had other things i wanted to affirm about so i stopped affirming and I would only affirm for like 2 to 3 times like once a day maybe lol.

2. I accepted the fact that my dad has a great job. It was hard for me to accept something just like that but I pushed through that feeling. Everytime I would see him at home and not at office, I would just think "Oh well he is working from home for a bit"

3. Everytime I had thoughts like "My dad doesn't have a job" I would change that to "no he does! what am i talking about lol"

4. I didnt try to "feel it real" or robotically affirm. These methods are amazing and 100% works and robotically affirming is something I really like too and do often but I just didnt want to put more efforts in this because I knew I could do it even without doing the methods.

5. Did I feel miserable sometimes when I would see him getting worried or frustrated? Yes. But it didnt matter. Everytime I would feel really frustrated, I didnt do anything and just let myself feel what I want to feel and moved on.

6. Unlike my other desires, this one wasnt on my mind all the time. I didnt think about it that much. Only when something in the 3d contradicted with what I desired did I think about it.

It doesnt matter if you're obsessed with what you desire or if you arent. It doesnt matter if you think about it all the time or if you dont. It doesnt matter if you're manifesting in steps or if you're just accepting it as true. It will still work regardless. Because everything is an assumption.

A bit backstory: My dad lost his job around December of last year and since my family is financially stable, it didnt bother me that much. But then months passed and he wasnt getting a job even though he was really qualified. I was busy with my exams so I still didnt think about it much. But then I was bothered seeing him sad and at home all the time, so i decided to manifest a job. It's a great job in one of the best companies in our country so I'm really happy. It's not like he was a CEO of any company before. He is really good at his job but getting a CEO position in such a huge company is a really big deal. He gave an interview in that company MONTHS ago but they didnt get back to him after the interview so we all thought he didnt get the job. So it was a really big deal that they suddenly decided to employ him. I would show yall photos of the car they gave him but I'm scared any of my family member will be on this app and they will find out😭 not that they care about it. They are chill lol.

Tldr: Affirmed whenever I felt like it and accepted that he has a job and it's a great position. Thats all really.

[anthropwashere]

She pestered an aunt I don't think I've seen in over 20 years to text me to confirm I received these Crucial Amazon Pajamas, amazing

Was briefly baffled by a package I didn't order appearing today and had my suspicions, but blocked voicemails from Mom confirm she bought me pajamas? I'd have preferred if she used that money to pay back whoever she owes most recently. But. Well. She sent 'em.

Honestly Amazon pajamas are a huge step up from the last gift she sent me like 5 years ago that had me genuinely freaked out wondering who the fuck was anonymously sending me soft pornography

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Dick Grayson Olympics

Dick has absolutely been in the olympics multiple times by the point he's Nightwing.

Dick just also happens to have like 9 different countries in which he is a citizen. So he competes for a new country every 4 years and every time the olympics is near his phone gets absolute bombarded by a bunch of official teams and recruiters begging him to join.

He is also the world's youngest Olympian and gold medalist in general. (the youngest Olympian on record is 12 but Dick Grayson was beating up grown men by 8 so i'm starting there, he's an overachiever, no I will not accept criticism)

here me out

first one at age 8 right before his parents die, he competed for France

second one at age 12 and he competes for Italy

third one at 16 and he competes for Switzerland

fourth one at 20 and he's with Romania

you get where i'm going with this

There are 6 events and he wins gold in every one of them except one time he showed up hungover, concussed with a stomach flu (he got a silver on the uneven bars bc his vision was so blurry so he did it blindfolded so he wouldn't throw up.)

No one except Tim and Alfred know (Tim bc he's a stalker and Alfred bc Dick needed his help getting to the airport as a child) but he takes a sabbatical from work and does missions covertly in the countries he's competing in (not as Nightwing bc that would be too obvious)

He also refuses to compete for the USA bc he's still bitter about being thrown in Juvie and they can't make him

He leaves every medal by his parent's grave as a promise that he has not abandoned their dreams for him.

When anyone ever figures out he was in the Olympics he just smiles and said he competed for France once when he was a kid (bc its technically true he's only competed for France exactly one time) and he's like really bashful about it and says stuff like "oh even though my routine wasn't perfect as a kid it was still an amazing experience to have with my Mom and Dad." (he is absolutely faking the bashfulness he just doesn't want people to google him and see he's won 15 gold medals before he turned 25 bc then there are questions and he's a relatively private person).

Bruce doesn't know that Dick was in the Olympics because an 8 yr old boy who grew up in a circus would have no idea of scale. (this is based on a random fic I read where a 12yr Dick Grayson did not call Bruce when there was an active gunmen at school -he found out from another parent a week later- but called him absolutely balling, making him rush home from work bc someone stuck gum in his hair.

So 12yro Dick just tells Bruce he wants to go to an acrobatics competition and Bruce is like sure, okay how long will you gone? and Dicks like a few weeks. And because Bruce has no scale of normal parenting things, he does not see this as an issue.

By the time Dicks 24 he just doesn't tell Bruce because he thinks it's hilarious he hasn't figured it out yet. Alfred doesn't tell him bc he's hardcore judging the 'world's greatest detective' very British-ly.

The only Titans that know are Wally and Donna and they are sworn to secrecy.

And yes he is mad bc he likes the women's gymnastics stuff more bc he grew up in a circus and he thinks it looks more fun.

[novelistwriter]

The Phantoms Family

DP x DC Prompt

Danny had been the Ghost King for a long time now, it's been lonely, his friends and family have passed on when their mortal bodies reached the end of their time, they lived their lives to the fullest, being the happiest they could be, which is why they couldn't stay with Danny, Vlad, Dani and Dan. They all are in their own 'Happily Ever Afterlife', enjoying their Happily Ever Afterlife until they want to be reborn again. The Halfa's can't die, being stuck with an Immortal Body can indefinitely extend the lifespan of them. Sure they have each other, but their lives keep them apart most of the time.

It was during one of Danny's lonely times in the Throne Room when a natural portal opens in front of him, and out comes a 6 year old Bruce Wayne, who stumbled upon the natural portal in one of the less used studies in the Manor, he too was alone, with Alfred doing shopping and his parents out of the Manor doing business.

The two of them bond a bit while Danny searches for the dimension Bruce came from, when Danny does find the dimension that Bruce came from, he sends the boy home, he doesn't expect to see the little boy again. But he's shocked, and a little glad, to see Little Bruce sitting on his throne when he returns from Ghost King business. Bruce had returned through the same portal, feeling lonely again in the empty Manor, wanting to feel the warmth of someone caring for him again.

Over the course of two years, Little Bruce visits Danny regularly, and over time Little Bruce became known as the First Prince to the Ghost King. But when Bruce visits Danny after his parents funeral is when Little Bruce is embraced by Danny for a long time, and over the years, Bruce visits less and less, until he doesn't visit anymore, having left to train to become Batman.

Danny returned to being his lonely self again for many years, having the thought that his Little Bruce abandoned him. He doesn't want to reach out to Bruce, fearing that what he thinks is true.

It's only when another boy is found in his throne room that Danny opens his heart again. Richard "Dick" Grayson stumbled upon the room Bruce used to get to Danny's Throne Room when he was exploring the Manor. Dick spends time with Danny when he gets overwhelmed, has a fight with Bruce, or is feeling lonely. He doesn't tell Danny that Bruce is his adoptive dad, just referring to Bruce as B when he talks about the man. Dick becomes the second prince to the Ghost King, but is more known by his title, the "Joyful Prince" in the Infinite Realms.

When Dick brings Barbara on one of his visits, she and Danny take the time to bond with each other. But eventually, Danny becomes a second Father to Barbara, with Barbara becoming the First Princess to the Ghost King, or better known in the Realms as the "Smart Princess".

When Jason was introduced to Danny, the boy was distant, not trusting Danny, it took awhile for the two to form a bond. Jason enjoys reading in Danny's library and listening to woes of Ghosts he finds, Jason becomes the Third Prince of the Ghost King, but is better known as the "Caring Prince" in the Realms.

When Danny feels the bond he shares with Barbara Flare with so much fear and pain, he manifests himself to her side. Seeing his little girl, bleeding out in her own home with a gunshot wound to her abdomen, breaks his heart. Since Barbara has become a Liminal person, Bruce, Dick and Jason also became Liminals during their visits to him, with her visits to Danny, the ectoplasm that Danny is giving her heals the worst of her injury. He leaves when she's bandaged up and put to sleep in her room, Barbara doesn't become crippled because Danny came to her side when she needed one of her dads in her time of need.

Danny can feel it when Jason dies in the warehouse explosion. He falters in his path when it happened before he abandoned his duties to zoom to where he feels the Ghost of Jason form in the Realms, he can feel the distress coming off of the bonds he has with Dick and Barbara at Jason's bond going silent. He brings Jason's Ghost to his Keep, where they wait for both Dick and Barbara to come.

During the time of Jason's death affecting Bruce, who had become more violent as Batman, Tim is introduced to Danny, it doesn't take long for Danny and Tim to form a bond. It is also through Danny that Tim learns what parental love feels like. This is what pushes Tim to tell Bruce about his living situation in Drake Manor. Tim does learn about Jason's Ghost living with Danny. He tries to get Jason's Ghost to return and talk to Bruce, but Jason isn't ready yet to fave Bruce. He is known as the "Smart Prince" in the Infinite Realms.

During one of the times Danny and Jason are having one on one family bonding is when Jason is ripped away from Danny. Danny frantically searches for Jason everywhere in the Realms, his bond going silent again for everyone. It isn't until Jason's catatonic body is put into the Lazarus Pit that the bond flares to life again, Danny races to the location and takes Jason away from the rotten portal and to his Keep again, where Dick, Barbara and Tim are waiting.

Jason eventually leaves the Keep, being a new Halfa, to be back in the Living Realm, he stays with Dick in Blüdhaven for a bit until he reveals himself to Bruce. Bruce embraces Jason in a hug, tears falling down his faces at the miracle that brought his son back. This prompted Bruce to think he should visit Danny again, but Gotham, Wayne Enterprises, and the Justice League keep him busy.

Stephanie was introduced to Danny when her and Tim dated for a bit. She was skeptical of Danny, but she accepted him as a better father than Cluemaster. She became the second princess to the Ghost King, but better known as "Prankster Princess" in the Realms.

Damian is introduced to Danny by Dick. It takes a couple of years for the two to form a bond. Cujo is one of the reasons why Damian visits Danny, but he does tolerate Danny. Damian became the fourth prince of the Ghost King, but is better known in the Realms as the "Strong Prince."

When Cass is introduced to Danny, it doesn't take long for the two to form a bond, Cass is eager to have more family in her life, she becomes the Third Princess of the Ghost King, but is better known as the "Quiet Princess" in the Realms.

When Bruce got stuck in the Timestream, Danny had been told of it by Tim, who found traces of Bruce in the Manor, this gets Danny to ask Clockwork to help get Bruce out of the Timestream. Bruce only got a glimpse of Danny before he was back into his proper place. Bruce is determined to see Danny again, but he needs to recover and get free time made from the three things that will definitely keep him busy

When Bruce manages to make free time to visit Danny. Darkseid, Brainiac, and Starro attack Earth at the same time.

When Danny feels the bonds of all his children flair with so much distress, he manifests to their location. Seeing them all so beaten and bruised at the hands of others caused him to lash out on Darkseid, Brainiac and Starro, beating them and sending them to Walkers Prison. It's when he turns around and sees Bruce for the first time in a long while, he had been working up the courage to reach out to Bruce after Tim came into his life. He walks up to Bruce, cups the face of the man before him, smiles sweetly and greets his First Prince

"Hello, my Little Prince"

[suhtorus]

₊˚ʚ 🌱 little sunshines au. masterlist

a jjk au where domestic fluff and parenthood are the main tropes.

fluff‐parents au. ₊˚⊹ ᰔ non sorcerer/curse au, domesticity, use of nicknames for the babies (nugget, mochi, squirt), mom!reader, mentions of pregnancy

all kids remain unnamed, apart from the already existing ones

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɢᴏᴊᴏ sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

head of the gojo clan. after marrying his wife, he locked her in his estate with him. she ended up popping three healthy babies in the span of five years.

notes:

his precious mochi consist of two boys, aged 5 and 2 years old, and an eight month old baby girl—the three of them look like satoru

your two boys are huge fans of 'fishies'

kiss it better

something's fishy

mama's day

crybaby

—

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɢᴇᴛᴏ sᴜɢᴜʀᴜ

the geto residence had been nothing but a girly sanctuary for the past few years. suguru, as the only man, faced a harsh reality check when the latest addition to his family, a baby boy, stole the hearts of every girl in his home.

notes:

suguru is so used to handling girls that he's still a bit lost with his little boy

the baby wants you all the time, and suguru is a little sad that he's not being favored

joyride

—

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ғᴜsʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ

his biggest nightmare came true once his baby girl began to talk. she keeps him on his toes, a little princess that easily empties her daddy's wallet by asking for toys—expensive ones.

notes:

your baby girl wants to do everything you do: hair, makeup, nails. toji grows a gray hair each time she demands to get her tiny toes painted like mama

tsumiki (6) likes to say that the baby (2) is her doll, and little megumi (4) makes sure his puppies watch over his baby sister while she naps

!! technically speaking, toji's still a zenin + megumi and tsumiki are yours. so they'll be referenced as the zenin's/zenin kids !!

strawberry shortcake

copycat

—

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ sᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ

his home has not known peace ever since his wife gave birth to their twins, a boy and a girl. he barely made it out of the 'terrible twos' unscathed, but now that they're three and way more talkative, he's starting to reconsider his life decisions.

notes:

the boy is a menace, always play fighting with his dad, while the girl is shy and cries around him

both toddlers get pretty calm and soft around you. sukuna says you hexed them

!! for the sake of the plot, sukuna is jin's brother, making him an itadori. choso and yuuji are step brothers (choso is kaori's son) !!

uncle yuuji

ugly mornings

mall santa

—

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ ‐ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ

preschool teacher with a concerning amount of patience. all of the kids know him because he's their art and crafts teacher, a very popular class among the children.

notes:

first grade (2-3 year olds): itadori twins, gojo's youngest son, and zenin's youngest daughter.

second grade (4-5 year olds): gojo's eldest son, megumi, and yuuji.

third grade (6 year olds): tsumiki, nanako, and mimiko.

first day

[yelenasbraid]

baby bliss — joe burrow

summary — you just had a baby, and you’re pregnant again. it’s safe to say that joe has his concerns.

warnings — fem!reader, mentions of pregnancy, fluff, anxious joe, mentions of sex, panic attack

requested by — anon <3

YOU ALWAYS KNEW you wanted a family. ever since you were in middle school, you knew that you wanted to have kids. you didn’t know who, at that point, would make you a mom, but being a mother was one of your many desires.

so, when you and your husband found out about your first, you were through the roof excited. your dreams of being a mother came true, but not without the long-haul of a 9 month pregnancy. morning sickness got the best of you in the first trimester, not to mention you hated the smell of meat. joe was as supportive as he could be, and he wished he could be there more often than he was.

it got a little better past the first trimester, especially when you found out you were having a little girl. joe was beyond excited, already picking out outfits for his daughter. you always saw joe as a girl dad, and you couldn’t wait to see him finally hold her.

the months drug on, your belly growing more and more swollen by the day. it came to point where you were doing anything to try and get this baby out.

“ok, we’ve tried spicy food, the yoga ball, and exercise. baby girl just won’t budge,” you groaned as you sat on the couch one evening, balancing your food bowl on your belly.

“she’s stubborn like her mama,” joe teased, nudging you with his foot. you gave him a look, which made the blonde next to you giggle.

“hush, burrow. she gets her genes from both of us, not just me,” you chirped as you put another forkful into your mouth.

“you what what we haven’t tried?” joe wiggled his eyebrows at you, making you furrow yours in confusion.

“what?”

“sex,” he answered, rather bluntly of course. he wiggled his eyebrows as you laughed.

“that would be the most unflattering sex we would ever have,” you told him, causing him to then make a face at you.

“there is no such thing as an unflattering angle on you, babe. plus, i put that baby in you, i could be the one to help her out,” he spoke in a sing-song voice. you only laughed, your cheeks heating up to a rose red color.

needless to say you guys did have sex that night, and despite your baby bump, it was still as amazing as it always was. baby girl seemed to agree, and she came not even 24 hours later.

joe sat in the chair across from you, baby girl lyla on his bare chest, watching her sleep. you laid in the hospital bed, barely keeping your eyes open. you watched as your husband cradled his baby girl, his hands engulfing her small frame. he whispered sweet nothings to her, never taking his eyes off of her.

he was so proud of you and he was so in love with his lyla.

—

5 weeks flew by, and you and joe were getting used to having lyla at home. there were many sleepless nights, even if you and joe were on a schedule. in those 5 weeks, lyla grew like a tree, her features developing to look more like her parents. she had joe’s bright blue eyes and your hair color. she was a daddy’s girl, that was for sure.

joe loved being the one to change her and bathe her. he loved spending time with her, making sure she knew she was loved and cared for. you loved watching joe step into the father role, silently vowing to protect his girls for the rest of his life.

it also made you hella horny.

you weren’t supposed to have sex until 6 weeks after giving birth. your hormones were in overdrive, and every single angle of joey made you want to strip him down. which you could do, but realistically you knew where that would lead.

lyla was down for a nap, and you and joe sat on the couch. it was one of those days where your skin was on fire and you desperately needed touch. joe’s hand was on your thigh, rubbing small circles on your skin as a show played on the tv. it made you go absolutely insane. it was only one more week and he’d be all yours. it was just one week, what was it going to do?

“fuck it,” you mumbled, climbing onto joe’s lap. he was shocked, to say the least, but he’s been impatient too. seeing you in mom mode, despite the messy hair and baggy clothes, it just made things worse for him. he’s not been able to have sex with you for 5 weeks, and while he understood why, he just knew that 6th week was going to be the best week of his life. well, one of the best weeks.

your hands went to his cheeks, pressing your lips to his. your house was a mess, but the baby was asleep and you needed joe. his lips moved effortlessly against yours, the need in his bones spilling over into your mouth. his hands settled on your hips, moving up and down your legs and back. he’s missed this, he’s missed you, specifically the taste of you. you got lost in the taste of him and how he touched you, fulfilling the desire that’s been burning through you for the past couple of weeks.

“are we about to do this?” joe asked, pulling away from you for just a second.

“yes, but we need to be fast and quiet,” you told him.

“yes ma’am,”

—

you didn’t regret having sex that day. it felt good, and your needs were fulfilled. what you didn’t expect was to feel nauseous a week later. you didn’t expect to see two more blue lines show up on a pregnancy test. panic settled in, your hands started to shake, and your mind ran a million miles an hour.

what the hell do you tell joe?

you set the stick down, and while you’re excited you’re having baby number 2, you were still anxious. you beat yourself for letting your hormones get the best of you, leading you to enjoy your husband in the most intimate ways.

the door shut downstairs, signaling joe was home. you walked out of the bathroom, grabbed lyla from her crib and walked downstairs. lyla babbled all the way down, not having a clue of what the stick in her mama’s hand meant.

“there’s my pretty girls!” joe grinned as he saw his wife and daughter greet him. he spread his arms out, taking his little girl into his arms. he softly bounced her on his hip, her giggles echoing in his ears. he wrapped you in the hug as well, kissing the top of your head.

“how’re you, mamas?” he asked you, cradling the back of your head with his hand. your heart was beating a million miles an hour, sweat sticking to your forehead.

“i’ve got something for you,” you told him, your voice a little unsteady. his brow furrowed, catching the shakiness of your voice. he gently placed lyla in her play area in the living room, the little girl going straight for her stuffed animals.

“what is it? are you ok?” he asked, his hands ghosting over your body. he was afraid that your premature sex did something, and that maybe you needed to go back to the hospital. he saw you pull out a pregnancy stick, placing it in his hands. two more beautiful lines showed up, informing him he was going to be a dad to two kids.

“wait, really?” he asked, his excitement building.

“yep, it’s why i’ve not been feeling well,” you informed him, stealing a look at your daughter. joe picked you up and hugged you, swaying you from side to side.

“that’s amazing!” he set you down, and as he did, his anxiety settled in. there was a reason why they had you wait 6 weeks until you could have sex. infection, the risk of tearing, the list goes on. your body was put through the wringer with pregnancy and birth, and you were about to do it all over again?

“babe?” you snapped him out of his anxious trance, forcing him to swallow. he couldn’t show you he was scared, not now.

“i’m ok, i promise,” he reassured you. joe knew you’d see through him, you always did, but for right now he didn’t want to bring it up. he gave you another hug, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. your daughter’s whimpering separated you two, signaling it was time for dinner.

—

the next few days were anxiety-inducing for joe. he went to practice, came home, had dinner with his family, and held his wife at night. but his chest was in a constant state of tension. he woke up every time you shifted, every time you groaned he would be there in and instant, and if you walked funny he would watch you with wide eyes.

you noticed the shift in joe. he seemed on edge, anxious even. you tried talking to him about it, but he brushed it off, telling you that practice was rough. you’ve known him long enough to know that he was lying, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, you weren’t gonna press it.

you walked downstairs one afternoon, empty water bottle in hand, stomach rumbling. you just put lyla down for a nap and wanted to reward yourself with a snack. you were hungry more often with this one, fingers always itching for a snack.

“i swear we’re having a boy this time with how often i’m hungry,” you commented as you walked into the kitchen. you watched joe for a second, your smile faltering as you watched him pace. you knew something was up, his actions the past few days said enough.

“joey? honey?” you walked up to him, stopping him in his tracks. you placed a hand on his arm, stopping him from continuing in his tracks. joe met eyes with you, his chest heaving. his eyes flicked over your body, subconsciously looking for anything that told him you weren’t ok. you seemed ok, you didn’t seem like you were in any obvious pain. his eyes found yours again, but he still had yet to say something.

“what’s wrong?” you asked him, cupping his cheeks with your hands. the feeling of your warm hands on his cheeks momentarily grounded him, but the moment didn’t last long. his breaths quickened and his chest heaving with each attempted inhale. his whole body went rigid, even if you were standing right in front of him, perfectly fine.

“baby, look at me,” you encouraged him, keeping your hands on his cheeks. he tried his hardest to keep his eyes on you, even if all he wanted to was disassociate. he watched as you inhaled, exhaled, and repeated.

“keep breathing with me,” you encouraged him, imitating your breathing. he followed suit, his hands wandering around to find the cool counter, the warmth of your waist, and the softness of your shirt. he honed in on you, taking in the glow of your skin, the smell of your perfume, the feeling of your skin. he grounded himself, resting his forehead against yours.

moments passed, your hands rubbing circles under his eyes, his arms wrapping around your middle. he buried his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. he felt calmer, especially since his adrenaline was crashing down through the roof. after a few moments, you led him over to the couch, sitting down. he immediately laid against your stomach, wrapping his arms around yours as gently as he could.

“what’s wrong, baby?” you threaded your fingers through his hair, the frosted tips fading into more of his dirty blonde.

“i’m just worried,” he sagged into you, feeling the hangover from the almost-panic attack he had moments ago.

“yeah?”

“i feel like it’s too soon, that we got too excited,” he hummed against you. realistically, he knew you were ok. if you weren’t, it would be more obvious.

“maybe it was, but i’m ok. i feel ok, baby’s ok,” you comforted him, continuing to massage his scalp. he sighed, giving you a gentle squeeze. moments like this were rare with you, especially with a little one, who was sound asleep upstairs.

“i’ve just heard of all the things that could happen,” he continued, closing his eyes. sleep has evaded him just as much as it’s evaded you. any sleep he could get he grabbed, but he knew you were up more than he was.

“i know, and trust me, it scared me too. but we’re ok, i’m ok,” you kissed the top of his head. he accepted your answer, allowing himself to finally relax for the first time in a week. you two were drifting off, eyes almost closing when you heard the whimpers of lyla on the baby monitor. your eyes opened, groans escaping your lips.

“duty calls,” you hummed, shifting, making joe get up off of you. he leaned up and kissed you, softly and briefly.

“i’ll go get her,” he offered, standing up on shaky legs. he was beyond relieved you were ok, that baby #2 was ok. he knew that he should have trusted your instincts and your body, but he was apart of this family too. if anything happened, if you weren’t ok, he’d beat himself up for the rest of his life.

but you were ok, and as he lifted his baby girl into his arms, that reality sunk deep into his chest. he pressed a soft kiss to lyla’s head, fuzzy with hair. he carried her downstairs, forever grateful for the growing family he had.

hehe this was so cute i loved writing it. i hope you enjoyed it anon! it was so much fun and i love dad joe. pls enjoy and feel free to send requests!

tags: @wickedfun9

[luvjunie]

— headcanons. miles morales (earth42)

EARTH42!MILES who buys you whatever you want, whenever you want. you don’t even have to say anything, as soon as he notices your focus has gravitated towards a display in a mall’s window, he’s stopped in front of it and digging out his wallet.

“you want that?” “no, baby, it’s fine. it’s probably really expensive anyway.” “i don’t remember asking the price. do you want that, yes or no?”

EARTH42!MILES who shows up to your house to take you on you guys’ first date, two bouquets of roses cradled in the fold of his arm instead of one. he was raised by mama rio, after all, so he knows better than to show up to a girl’s house with only his words to impress her mother.

“wow, these are beautiful, miles… thank you. who’s the other one for?” “for your moms, to say thanks for letting me take you out.”

EARTH42!MILES who is so deeply regressed into the act of suppressing his love and affection for others, in fear that he’ll get too attached, only to lose you just like he did his dad. he doesn’t know if he can survive something like that happening again, so it takes a while for him to actually open himself up to you.

“i’m not going anywhere, miles. you can let me in, it’s okay.” “you promise?” “i promise, my love.”

EARTH42!MILES who gets so flustered when you kiss him or compliment him or hold his hand, though it doesn’t come off that way due to how good he is at hiding his true feelings. his stoic expression makes you think he just doesn’t like it, so you back off some. your fears are assuaged when you come over one day and skip your usual greeting of smothering him in kisses or confessions on how much you’ve missed him, and instead settle for giving him a brief, simple hug.

“¿qué pasa, mamí, what i do? ion get no love today?”

EARTH42!MILES who wasn’t the best at texting at first—often leaving you wondering where he was for most of the day or if he was even alive—but has since stepped his game up.

9:30 AM

[mi novio]: goodmorning mi vida, how you sleep?

11:30 am

[mi novio]: you eat anything yet?

2:34 PM

[mi novio]: i miss you

6:20 PM

[mi novio]: ima be busy at around 7, jus lyk so you don’t worry bout where i’m at. i’ll text you when i’m free, okay chiquita?

EARTH42!MILES who asks for a picture of you every time you get your hair done, because he’s too impatient to wait until the two of you hangout again.

[mi novio]: lemme see your hair and make sure your face in it too, i wanna see how pretty my baby look

[you]: attachment: 1 image [you]: you like it?

[mi novio]: lord have mercy it just keeps gettin’ better. [mi novio]: goddamn you look good [mi novio]: nah i gotta see this shit in person im omw

EARTH42!MILES who literally gets offended when he sees you wearing something he didn’t buy.

“where’d you get these from? i don’t remember buying them for you.” “yeah… i got them from the mall last week when i got paid.” “oh, what, so you sayin you don’t need me no more? it’s like that now, mamí?”

EARTH42!MILES who knows he can always run to you when things get rough; when it all becomes too much for him to handle on his own and he can feel his resolve withering. he knows that all he has to do is push open the window you leave cracked for him, climb through it and slip into bed next to you with his head nuzzled into your chest. you’re the only thing that helps him off the ledge nowadays.

“you wanna talk about it, papa?” “nah, not really. can- can you just hold me?” “i can do that.”

- please do not copy, plagiarize, or repost my works to other sites!

likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated 💗

[ellecdc]

i need more chef!sirius and mixologist!reader

I BEG

i love them so much i wanna cry they are so precious

I love them so much too!!

chef!sirius x mixologist!reader who meets Harry [792 words]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

CW: Sirius' reputation does precede him, but it apparently doesn't work

“Please, Uncle Pads!” You hear someone beg as you let the door to the restaurant fall closed behind you. “Yeah! Please?” Another voice echoed. 

“Absolutely not.” The unmistakably gruff voice of your favourite chef responded. 

“Dad said you used to be cool, Padfoot, whatever happened to that?” The first voice - one that apparently belonged to a messy haired kid with round glasses as he smirked up at Sirius - accused, and you couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped you at the threatening glare Sirius levelled the kid with effectively alerting your presence to the three individuals leaning against your bar. 

“Whoever said he was cool is a liar, we all know he’s actually a giant swat.” You taunted as you breezed past the trio, gently allowing your elbow to brush against Sirius’ arm as you dumped your belongings onto the shelf below the bar. 

“I’ve not heard that one before…” The lanky red-headed kid mused as he narrowed his eyes in thought. “I have heard rumours of him being a giant arseho-”

“That’s quite enough out of you, Weasley.” Sirius barked. 

“Weasley? Like-”

“Yes, like Charlie. Christ, there’s so many of them.” Sirius muttered as he rubbed harshly at his eyes. 

“What exactly are the two of you begging for?” You asked with a chuckle, forcing Sirius to lift his elbow off the bar so you could wipe it down. “Because in my experience, referring to someone as an arsehole doesn’t usually get me what I want.” 

The red-head - a Weasley - seemed to blanche at the realisation before turning his petrified face back to Sirius. “I- I didn’t call you an arsehole! I, well, you see, I was only saying-”

“Relax, mate; you’re turning green.” The messy haired kid laughed as he pat his friend roughly on the back. “We’ve only heard on good authority that you are a giant arsehole.”

“And yet you’re still here asking me for a job?” Sirius deadpanned. 

“Right.” The messy haired kid agreed with a goofy smile on his face. “The names Harry,” he continued, moving his attention to you and offering you his hand, “this is my best mate, Ron; who also happens to be Charlie’s brother.” 

You laughed as you let Harry’s hand drop, accepting a nervous smile and wave from Ron. “How old are you kids?”

“Fifteen!” They chorused proudly, causing Sirius to grumble. 

“It hardly counts, Haz; you only turned fifteen like 72 hours ago.”

“Oh! Happy belated birthday!” You offered, causing Sirius to groan again. 

“Well I had asked for a job 71 hours ago as my birthday present, but my godfather left me rather disappointed.” Harry lamented, offering you what you were certain was his best kicked puppy expression. 

You scoffed in disbelief as you levelled Sirius with a good natured glare. “Have you no heart, Padfoot?” 

“Yeah, Padfoot?” The boys chorused comically. 

“That’s chef.” Sirius barked, turning back to you in exasperation when you corrected yourself.

“Not you.” He corrected.

“What am I supposed to call you then?” You asked with faux innocence. 

“Oh you’ll be calling me something when I get my hands on you later tonight.” He grumbled under his breath, only loud enough for you to hear as Harry considered the two of you.  

“You know, Pads, I’ve heard romantic interests find it very attractive when you’re nice to your godson.”

Sirius simply raised an unimpressed eyebrow at his godson in response.

“What? It’s true!” Harry insisted.

“Is it?” Sirius drawled. “You know a lot about getting your romantic interests attention, do you? ‘Cause I’m quite sure Malfoy’s not spared you a glance all year.”

You watched as Harry scowled at Sirius and Ron let out a bark of laughter at his friends expense. 

“What’s the harm? I thought you were looking for more busboys?” You asked Sirius quietly then, feeling your stomach flip as his face softened as he turned to consider you.

“But they’re so annoying.” He whimpered, almost pathetic enough to believe that he didn’t actually love that about them.

“Perfect; that’s two more people to help you send Jeffery into an early retirement.” You whispered back, nudging him with your shoulder as he let out a desperate sound from the back of his throat.

“Fine.” Sirius said, though you could hardly hear it on account of the celebratory cheer from Harry and Ron.

“But,” Sirius continued severely, “you’ll both be reporting to Charlie.”

“What!?” Ron whined as Harry’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “But he’s such a wanker!”

“Tough.” Sirius gruffed, standing from the stool he’d been leaning against and disappearing into the kitchen, though not before he gave your wrist an affectionate squeeze. 

“Blimey, he really is a giant arsehole.” Ron muttered.

That time you couldn’t hold in your laughter.

[lizardho]

I think the worst day I had as a missionary is hard to pin down – for comedy bad day stories, I like to talk about my cute companion who ripped three pairs of pants in one day because his ass was so fat. Literally, two in the morning, we missed 3 appointments in the afternoon because people kept cancelling on us, and we ended up far away from home visiting “Less Actives” in the downtown area. We find a family who says we can come in once their dad get home, and we sit down to wait for the dad to get in and RIIIPPP goes the third pair of slacks this man wore that day. I hand him my suit jacket and he wraps it around his waist like a bashful adolescent who just started his period at an inconvenient time. We catch a ride home on a bus and ended up home an hour early. He cried for like 30 minutes while stitching up his pants, and I got to rest a lot more than expected that day. We ordered a 4-cheese pizza and went to bed early that night, having walked probably 5-6 miles that day knocking doors and getting turned away.

Another bad day was the day the Mexico City Temple was re-opening. It was a funny experience for me because the evening before I was contacted by the Mission President and told that an elder in our district had confessed some serious sins to him and that those sins precluded him from going to the temple. The MP told me that nobody in this elder’s ward could get time off to babysit him so he was begging one of us – I didn’t want to go to the temple, it was a crappy way to spend a P-Day in my opinion, so I told the MP I’d do it. I spent the day eating popsicles and napping with an elder who, in between Bolis and naps, would shakily and tearfully confess that no fewer than half of his companions had secret phones they used to watch porn, hire prostitutes, and buy drugs. This was bewildering to me since I had been Trying So Hard my whole mission and had always felt inadequate, and these elders who were doing better than me and more respected than me were somehow out here fucking, doing drugs, and jorkin’ it.

I was actually in a “Punishment Area” at the time because in my last area one of my life-threateningly attractive companions had gone into the homes of widows to repair their electrical wirings (he was a trained electrician prior to going on a mission.) Being alone in the home of an 80-year-old widow with failing lights was “against the rules” to the extent that me mandaron a la goma, and some handful of guys I’d been told to view as role models were out here breaking actual laws and shit. Of course, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was in this area because of the Deep Evil that Lay Within My Heart (wanting to kiss Elder Electrician on his stupid himbo lips) but my MP could not have known that, just like he didn’t know that the guys he was making Zone Leaders were getting their dicks sucked and snorting cocaine. That honestly felt outrageous to me.

I feel like the stereotypical “worst day” of a mission is the last day – they take you to the airport in a big van, all melancholy and nostalgic. We sang on our drive to the airport – elders and sisters tearfully sang or hummed hymns together. I was deadpan the whole time, it was such a relief to be going home. For me the worst part of the day was the relief – the release of pressure. The pressure to perform, to be “on,” to be at your best, is omnipresent for elders. I was the only person flying to Phoenix, so for the first time in two years I felt a release from that pressure. Nobody was scrutinizing me, I no longer felt that every thought, action, and feeling was being evaluated and judged as a sign of my true character. It was hard to realize, a the pressure let up, that I had been holding all that weight for two years without knowing when it had started. I remember getting confused in Customs and needing someone who spoke Spanish to talk to me because I kept forgetting words in English. I remember getting home and my family waiting for me and feeling like it was all finally done, finally over, I could finally breath. It didn’t feel bad, but it did feel heavy. And it definitely was not the worst day of my mission.

The actual worst day of my mission, though, was about 5 months in. At the 6-month mark I was expected to make a long trip down to an area of town near La Basilica de Guadalupe to submit my visa paperwork, and the mission office had sent me an extra $500 MX to use for transportation costs. When I withdrew the money they had sent for the month, I noticed it was higher than expected. My companion, a senior companion and district leader, had the cell phone. He was talking to another elder while he waited for me to withdraw my monthly deposit. I approached and asked if I could use the cell phone to call the mission office, as I had questions. He said “no,” and ignored me. I waited until the conversation ended and asked again, and again, angrily, he said, “No.” I said “Elder, relax, I just need to call the mission office to see why they sent me more this month than usual.” His face turned red as he realized other elders were watching the exchange occur. He handed me the phone, I called and was told the money was for transportation costs, and laughingly returned the phone to my companion. He took it, told the other elders he needed to tie his shoe but they could head on over to the District Meeting, and waited until they were out of eyesight. Once that was done, he grabbed me hard by the wrist, dragged me into a hidden corner out of earshot from others, and said, “If you ever disrespect me or my authority again I swear to God I will kill you.”

I was actually shocked. This guy had spent the last month and a half being SUPER nice to me, so I thought he was kidding and I was just confused. I laughed and said “Haha, yeah, your authority over the cell phone is sacred,” and tried to walk away but he didn’t let go of my wrist. He pulled me back and said “I will literally slit your throat if you ever talk to me like that again. As senior companion my authority over YOU is sacred, and I will not let God be mocked by you.”

I realized that he was serious. Like, actually threatening-my-life serious. I could see it in his eyes, I could feel it in the way he squeezed tighter on my wrist. In actuality, the idea seems laughable now. The guy was absolutely chickenshit. He cried if his shits were too hard, he couldn’t end a human life, but I still didn’t let myself fall asleep first for the rest of our time together. And I still hid the two knives we had in a different area while he was showering the next morning.

If I’m being honest though, even that wasn’t the worst day of my mission. That was bad, and each subsequent time he told me he was going to cut my throat for minor infractions against his God-Given Authority Over Me (like not wearing a belt for morning scripture study, or not taking the path he thought was best to get to a lesson) was a bad day. Every P-Day where he read my emails over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t telling my parents about how he was treating me, every day he told me that the ward members would never believe me over him, every day he put me down in front of other elders and they laughed in agreement, every day he was in a bad mood and took it out on me was a bad day. But the worst day was the day I told the mission president about it. I told him about the threats to my life, his temper, his physical abuse, hiss manipulation and rule-breaking, and the mission president told me “The time to tell me this was 6 months ago. The time to forgive him and focus on your own failings is now.”

I don’t think I’ve ever felt as confused or betrayed as I did then. Like, man oh man, that was a rough thing to hear, but as the day went on I kept feeling more and more confused and scared – had I misinterpreted everything? Had I miscommunicated something in telling the story? Had I not been objective enough in recounting the threats against my life? Was it true that a senior companion actually had the authority to hurt me if I went against his authority? Was I wrong the whole time? I had no idea, to be honest, but it was bewildering.

Knowing now what I wish I had known then, I would have done things differently. But in the moment, on a mission, knowing that my biggest reason for going on a mission was the hope that the Spirit of God, which hymns told me burns like fire, would burn the faggot out of my heart. I think I felt like I deserved it. Like somehow that elder knew the evil I was hiding and felt compelled by God’s power to hurt me. I think that’s what made it so hard to defend myself in the moment – I did not have that problem with other elders. The companion who told me we were gonna wrestle to settle an argument lost three consecutive matches and pouted about it for like a week. The elder who threatened to punch me for making a joke at his expense got knocked on his ass just for raising his fist. But this elder got into my head first, and that made it hard to fight against it. Instead of fighting against it, I just silently lived with actual, verifiable, diagnosed, by-the-book, DSM-5-TR Posttraumatic Stress Disorder because I thought I deserved it. It took consistent supervision of my clinical work revealing countertransference with Male LDS clients (I consistently discussed addressing shame in a client’s presentation where no shame or discomfort had been reported), an awkward conversation with @inbabylontheywept after an even more awkward dinner with a cousin who vaguely reminds me of that companion, and a bad acid trip where I had visceral flashbacks to my mission, before I was able to realize that I was living with a pain that was as abnormal as it was unnecessary.

Even once I realized it, even once I got help, it was hard. I remember telling jokes about what happened to my therapist and seeing her jaw just…drop. She said she didn’t know it had been that dangerous for me. The session ended and he sent me the PCL-5 (a good, evidence-based, highly face-valid measure for PTSD) and some other measure for dissociative symptoms and I was like “Girl, I just took this class, I know what you’re trying to measure and this ain’t it.” I reported my symptoms accurately and was fully prepped to confront her the next session. She showed me my scores and the norms used, and I was like “Oh fuck, this looks really bad on paper,” and she was like “Yeah, I can’t imagine living like this” and I just sobbed for most of that session. We ended up doing 9 months of TF-CBT and ACT (largely because I am a terrible and uncooperative patient, realistically I think I could have been done in like 5-6 months if I wasn’t so stubborn) before I was discharged from treatment successfully.

The thing that was so weird about starting therapy for PTSD was that it made things feel worse for a while. I started taking edibles a lot more. I started behaving differently around family members and Mormons. I started being outright hostile to elders I could see. It took about 3 months before I could see the missionaries and not have an actual fight-or-flight response to their presence. I think the way I had made it a far as I did without getting treatment was by repressing the thoughts, feelings, and memories that made it all hurt, and a soon as I let them just be there it was like all the confusing aching hurt came back. The first few months of therapy were just spent expanding the amount of time I could feel that hurt before turning to other means (like dissociation, cannabis, repression, etc.) so I could actually address the experiences without crashing the rest of the day. It was hard. I know I ended several sessions sweating a LOT from the exertion it took to just let the feelings happen. By 6 months, however, I could go into a church building without blacking out from panic. By 9 months I could sit in the same room as elders without sweating and shaking like a chihuahua on Adderall. 3 months after therapy and me and my supervisors noticed that my work with Mormon men had improved substantially. 6 months after therapy and I was able to begin writing anonymous stories online. Now, about two years after completing therapy, I feel like I can talk about it without needing the cloak of anonymity, and that is empowering.

Again, I am not sure why I’m typing these stories out – they’re not fun to write, I don’t love that my family can find these posts, but I guess I just like to remind myself and others that it can always get better. That mind numbing platitude, the old thought-terminating cliché that “it gets better, just power through it” doesn’t give enough credit to how much it hurts to get through it, but it does get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The triggers can go away with time, great effort, significant expense, and a lot of discomfort. The world can feel safe again, the hurt can feel bearable, that nagging worry that I might have deserved this, or that I did something wrong, can eventually go away too. It’s not easy to do it, and I have an incredible respect for the patients of mine who can pull it off, but it is undeniably as doable a it is difficult. If this story resonates with anyone, if it feels close-to-home, if these experiences feel shared, just know that the relief I talked about can feel shared too. Know that it’s worth it to get the help, that you deserve the help, that you deserve to live a life that doesn’t hurt you, that you deserve to be a full person and not a living prison for the pain and memories. Know that healing yourself does not involve extending forgiveness to Them, whoever They are. That the pain you felt will not be made less important by making the pain less potent. Know that taking care of yourself now is, in a way, taking care of yourself then. And Please, with a capital P, take care of yourselves.

Thank you to my family, especially my immediate family (special shout outs to @flowerologists and @inbabylontheywept) for the support and patience with me as I dealt with this.

Thank you to my therapist, Jordin Borques, who I recommend highly to anyone seeking trauma therapy in Arizona.

Thank you to my wife, @cintailed, for being the push that got me into therapy, and for taking care of me at my worst and still being here with me.

Thanks to my mission president for being such a colossal disappointment to Christianity that my departure from the church was inevitable.

And a general thanks to the queers for being so cute and making life worth living, even on bad days.

[princessbrunette]

All i can think about is rafe cameron buying you stupidly expensive lingerie sets for christmas😵‍💫 and then after breakfast he asks you to model them🤭

SANTA BABY ♡

gettin me in the festive spirit hehehe this made me wanna spend xmas with the cameron’s so bad :((

cw: christmas duh, family bonding time, i aged Wheezie down to be like 6 years old bc i think it would be cute idk LMAOOO , suggestive themes but nothing too crazy ❀

At his core, Rafe Cameron liked to think he was a family man. He’d often flip out, misbehave, and shit talk his family members it’s true, but Christmas was a time he liked to put it all behind him (Atleast until the new year starts, and he can start up his usual BS)

As you can imagine, Christmas at the Cameron’s was something extravagant. Humungous white christmas tree with silver decorations at the centre of the house, the outside of the house decked with lights that required enough power to start up 3 yachts, fake snow on the porch and Frank Sinatras Christmas album playing round the house at each corner. The years had only softened Ward, and whilst he could be cruel, hard on Rafe and borderline forgetful of Wheezies existence — Christmas was where he shone brightest, just wanting to do right by his kids and now, you, his sons girlfriend.

Receiving presents from the family was a whole different ballgame to your usual Christmas at home, Ward having grinned ear to ear when he handed you the box with the Tiffany’s heart tag charm bracelet glittering under the Christmas lights of the early morning (Wheezie being Wheezie woke everyone up at 6AM sharp.) Rafe, who’d insisted you’d curled right up to his side on the couch wearing his robe resisted an eye roll, his dad always having to out do him, but you seemed elated and he felt his heart warm.

They went all out, Rose handing you a literal 90’s Blumarine runway piece she’d simply overheard you talking Rafes ear off about, the next 5 minutes spent by you and Sarah fawning over it. Sarah’s gift was next, a set of SKIMS dresses you’d been saving to your Pinterest which she couldn’t help but notice, and of course Wheezie proudly handing you a glittery macaroni necklace she’d crafted you at school, which you had no choice but to act like it was the best gift of all.

Come Rafe’s turn, he simply offered his family a smile and patted your side, turning his head to look at you. “I’ve got her presents in my room, figured I’d give it to you privately.” He teases, ignoring Sarah’s ‘Barf’ comment from her cross legged position on the floor beside her little sister.

The family dispersed for a little while, Sarah helping Wheezie set up her new toys on the carpet infront of the tree, Rose and Ward going to start up the food in the kitchen (Ward insists on cooking everything themselves instead of having the chefs do it, because it was tradition.) Before you could wander in there and offer your help, you were being pulled back gently by the arm into your fluffy robe clad boyfriend wearing a poorly masked excited smile. “What, you don’t want your present from me?”

He slides a box from under his bed when you get up to his room again, covered with thin pink gift paper to hide the logo. He sits on his chair, robe falling between his legs and bare knees exposed outwards. “C’mon, sit on santas lap.” He grins and you mirror him, skipping over, happy and spoiled and perching on his leg. He puts the box in your lap and you peel away the paper to see the Agent Provocateur logo with the iconic black ribbon. You widen your eyes at him as if to say ‘Okaaaay, good job’ before wedging your fingertips carefully beneath the cardboard lip and lifting it, seeing 5 sets before you that was perfectly accustomed to your taste.

You remember your trip to the city with Rafe, it was business of course — but you were happy to tag along and walk alongside him watching him handle things for you and his family. You’d spotted the fancy lingerie store, practically pressing yourself up against the glass of the window as you look inside rambling about how you had so many of the sets saved to your Pinterest, pointing out each with your finger smushed to the glass. Rafe nodded distractedly, phone pressed to his ear, leaning on his hip in his gridded shirt and khaki pants that fit too good, before gesturing to you with his thumb that the two of you needed to get moving again, or else you’d be late to the appointment with a buyer. You pout and peel yourself away from the store.

But that was like what, September? Did he go back and buy it all for you? Order it once he’d returned home with you? You’d know Rafe to hold a grudge, but didn’t know his memory served in a positive manner too. “Rafe…” You coo, plucking out the sets and holding them up to admire the intricate lace detailing, spotting matching garters and whatever else you’d mentioned laying in the box. The thought of him fumbling through your underwear drawer trying to figure out your bra size made you giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck in an appreciative squeeze.

“How’d you remember?” Your voice was high in awe, wanting to hold on to this sweet side of Rafe forever.

“Please, I pay attention sometimes y’know.” He smirks modestly, eyes on the box as he admires his work. “So you like it? Yeah?” His hands finding your hips and giving them a soft squeeze.

“Love it, Rafey.” It comes out muffled, because you’re busying yourself with pressing big wet kisses to his cheek, and then eventually his mouth. He pulls away a fraction, lips still brushing yours and eyes cracking open.

“Gonna try it all on for me though, right?” He drawls in that classic Rafe way that you can never say no to and you nod so vigorously you nearly headbutt him. He pats your butt with a pleased hum and pecks you once more. “Atta girl.”