#so many things would be going wrong if it was true

[smoky-impressions]

when people continually mistreat you for how you are unmasking, when you assert your needs and boundaries, stop doing things that harm you to please others, grow as a person, go to therapy or do the necessary work to unlearn maladaptive behaviours (not all people can afford / find appropriate and affordable therapy), it is not you who is wrong. of course, you will make mistakes--it's only a lifetime of living behind a mask to undo (/s). you may be too blunt in assertion of needs, or you may become very anxious over changes in the routines of one area of your functioning, resulting in rigidity in another; you may become very, very tired while doing all this work and have much less patience or energy to deal with what others perceive to be minor events / inconveniences, or you may even deal with them poorly as you extend past your limit. people will probably be understandably upset or put-off for a bit, but with those who care about and support you, some time and an apology* should be all that is needed for repair and reconciliation. but if the mistreatment is a pattern and nothing you are doing is changing it, then it is on them. you can make suggestions and offer feedback for how they can help you through this difficult time, but if those asks continually fall on unwilling ears, they are likely not going to change for you (barring their own willingness to go to therapy / do the work).

the expression "stop going to the hardware store for milk" comes to mind. if you are waiting for Rona to stock your favourite 2%, you will deprive yourself waiting for the impossible. maybe that location used to be a grocery store, but they have changed, as are you and your needs. maybe you did not know you needed milk, you grew up without it in the home. that does not change the fact that if you walk into that building and ask for milk, you will be turned around, no matter how much money you have, how many aisles you search, how many trips back to the same store you make, no matter how kindly or desperately you ask. repeating this pattern, you will only deny yourself real love, opportunities for growth and encountering more supportive people, and true understanding of yourself while waiting for the person who is the hardware store in your life to meet you even part way.

while unmasking, you can find out who you are, where your limits lie and where other people had been limiting you with their faulty assumptions and beliefs they hold about you. what do you ACTUALLY like? what makes you look forward to stepping out of the house? not the pre-approved list of things you masked discomfort while doing to please your family members, people you called friends, relationship partners, or work colleagues, but things you would do without them present and without fear or shame holding you back (it can be hard to imagine when you have lived with fear and shame for so long). what do you dislike? where are the 'shoulds' in your life? what activities might you stop to conserve spoons for the things you are truly enjoying?

unmasking is not easy, even with a therapist to help you. expect it to be a long-term project; it is no easy thing to "rewire" neural pathways that have been reinforced for many years out of fear and necessity, especially if the masked behaviours kept you or are keeping you safe. you might have to choose who it is safe to unmask around and you might find out the hard way who does not fit in that category. it is worth it to find those people, i still believe that despite everything. i hope everyone who reads this finds safe people and places from which to procure their emotional "milk".

* an apology should: demonstrate that you understand the harm that your action caused, perhaps a reason for your actions that does not blame the other person nor attempts to absolve you of the wrongdoing, that you regret it, and that you have a genuine willingness and plan to do something differently next time (and that you are open to suggestions of what you can do differently)

My doctor and therapist: now with this autism + ADHD diagnosis you need to learn to unmask because masking all the time will make you burn out again and feel like shit

Other people: well it's just interesting how after getting the diagnosis you suddenly start behaving like that I mean I'm not saying you're faking it's just funny how you suddenly cannot be normal like you were before

[theinfinitedivides]

wi papa look a thing there for me. awa.

prefacing this with a PSA that i'm going to try and keep short but basically regardless of anything i say here let me make it known that i do believe he should apologize. whether or not he's still actively saying that word in 2024 it is something he's used in the past even if he isn't performing said play anymore/saying things like that so flippantly. granted if he does apologize there's always going to be a section of fandom that's like 'he only apologized bc he got caught' yes?????????? that's what always happens????????? lbr you're not going to get on IG and announce you killed your ex two decades ago and you'll be turning yourself in when there's an entire true crime community in the depths of the internet who will dig up the cold case + the suspiciously convenient alibi anyway without you lifting a finger. politicians who get called out for blackface in college do not go around telling people they did blackface in college. celebrities who were homophobic on this hellsite in high school back in the early 10s before they realized they were gay are not going to let you know what their handle was. this is how the world works.

that being said i must confess i caught wind of the stirrings of this a bit early bc during the clusterfuck that was the Jam vs Zamasian RPF poll (i did not go in the notes. rancid ass shit) someone had taken a screenshot of a reblog made as a 'gotcha' to Zamasian voters by implying that they were anti-Black for voting for a ship featuring an actor that said the n-word in a play he hasn't performed for several decades since, with a short taped example that the general public was not going to know how to find unless they were on a mission. i poked around, saw a couple hints here and there that implied that the clip actually existed, marked that down for future ref and went about my business. disappointing? sure. run of the mill especially among people his age in the industry from that time period who are perceived to benefit from white privilege? absolutely. the former bird identified app dragging all of this back into the light (including the interview with Chris Rock. which i have not seen though there's no way it was within the last few years for AMC to still hire Eric if they had seen it. correct me if i'm wrong pls) is unexpected but tracks for the fandom on there.

generally i don't believe in cancelling someone for things they said or did more than ten years ago if they are no longer the same person they were back then. i don't believe Jacob or Assad or any one of the staff of color who may have been working behind the scenes would have agreed to continue interacting with Eric if he had the same attitude as he did when he first wrote and performed the play. i don't believe his Black comedian niece would continue to talk about him and share photos with him if he was calling her or the Black side of her family the n-word. i am willing to give the 'Eric Bogosian n-word' reply tweet he reportedly made before deleting it shortly after the brief benefit of the doubt bc it was 1. supposedly under someone else's tweet talking about the play incident and 2. i cannot count how many times i have accidently commented/almost posted something on here or YouTube or Reddit or ao3 bc i was on mobile and once the keyboard's open the app/browser flips the fuck out and puts the search bar and the comment box too close together. now if his ass shows up and shows out and stands ten toes down while he's currently on time-out or doesn't address any of this we're dealing with a different story. if more examples of him acting like this come out i'll drop him faster than you can call the election it will be that serious.

anyway for now i'm choosing to keep an eye on this while acknowledging that us Black folks do have the right to be upset and pissed as fuck. we deal with enough racism/microaggressions in fandom spaces as it is we definitely don't need new ones, and we don't need them from the past career choice of the main cast of a show a lot of us enjoy. amen

[katzebruh]

Omg i would love to hear more about your kwamii swap au!

Oh, you're unleashing a beast. I don't know how to shut up about it, I'll try to keep it to the point without senseless yapping akjdkac

- I call it my "Accidentally Swapped AU", basically Marinette and Adrien were supposed to get their original miraculous but Master Fu accidentally gave them the wrong boxes

- The love square isn't reversed, Marinette is in love with Adrien, and Mr. Bug is in love with Lady Noire. (Though neither is taken to the extreme the show takes it, they are just regular kids with crushes) Not are their personalities, I've never understood why in so many swap AU's they change their personalities (No shade!! It just was never my vibe) Mr. Bug behaves like Chat did at first, he sees it as freedom, though in my AU with time he tones down quite a bit. (I actually did write a lil fic that shows their dynamic a bit, I'll upload it at some point on AO3)

- Lady Noire overall just isn't having a good time to be honest, I'm making public opinion be a bit harsher, people are easily influenced by fear and destruction can be pretty scary (It gets better though, but I just really like angst)

- Season 4-5 Chloé doesn't exist because what the hell was that

- Lila is a menace, but not because everyone drops their IQ when she's around (I refuse to make Mari's friends believe Lila so easily like in the show)

- My AU is more focused on Marinette because she's just my favourite, considering how goated she is in the show I wanted there to be an actual reason for it so I absolutely just bs'd up an explanation and made up a thing called a "True Holder", which is what Marinette is. It's why she didn't just cease into dust when using so many miraculous at the same time, and why she doesn't perish (although there are serious consequences) when unifying Plagg and Tikki. Other holders can still unify but not everyone, and for a very limited amount of time, I didn't like how they established that unifying was this big deal then everyone could casually do it so I wanted to change that

There's so much more but I fear I'm going into yap territory rn, I'll answer any question about it though! Well to the best of my ability, I don't have this written down anywhere

[bloomeng]

I feel like something a lot of people miss when discussing DC canon is context.

(Warning: Mentions of canon sexual assault scenes)

So today I saw a discussion about Alfred's fanon perception versus canon reality. I wouldn't say op was criticizing people for thinking of him as a sweet old man, merely just pointing out that he's canonly not so innocent and it goes unaddressed. He was the one who nudged Tim into the Robin mantle and he was the one who stripped it from him and gave it to Damian without asking. There's a whole plotline about how he had a daughter that he abandoned. He was the one who put up the "soldier" plaque memorial. All of these things are true, however, I don't think it was the writers' intentions to paint a lot (not all) of his actions as negative. In fact, the writing often goes out of its way to paint Alfred as a martyr. That doesn't make his actions right, nor does it mean that someone is wrong for being upset with him, but it also means that people aren't stupid or wrong for interpreting his character as this beacon of virtue. It's also notable that most people are probably more acquainted with his animated and film adaptations where he hasn't done any of the things I've listed.

Context is always important when analyzing media, but it is ESPECIALLY important when discussing DC because of the sheer volume of authors writing for a single character.

This is why there are so many arguements about whether or not Bruce is a bad father. When you have so many authors writing a character for close to a century, you're going to have inconsistencies and their takes on the character will contradict. We can go in circles bringing up issues that prove either side, but it's futile. Everyone is entitled to their feelings towards things that happen in canon, but I don't think it's fair to pass ultimate judgement based on something that was often written by one shitty writer.

Now disregarding DC canon is something the fandom is selectively good at, but the curtesy is not extended evenly. Going back to Alfred for a moment. A legit criticism of the writing is that he abandoned his daughter and that isn't really addressed outside of the issue that introduced it. And I think the reality is that DC often recognizes their mistakes after the fact and isn't equipped to handle the conversations they start so they quietly retcon. Which isn't great, but I also think it's a silent mercy. See not addressing something is bad, but putting out offensive media is more detrimental IN MY OPINION.

This is even more evident when it comes to DC's history with depicting sexual assault. They constantly back themselves into corners. I really appreciated that Gail Simone's Batgirl run retconned the Joker's sexual assault against Barbara. SA is something that is important to talk about but it's also something that needs to be treated with care. What happened to Barbara was not a productive conversation. There were so many gross undertones of the Joker specifically sexually assaulting her. Same with Talia sexually assaulting Bruce. There are very real racist undertones. There is a time and place to discuss male victims and the way male rape victims are written off, but the story is not concerned with having that conversation. So now we’re not only not having that conversation but we’re also stereotyping and villainizing POC women which also has real world consequences.

Now this next part might get me boos from the audience but to me this also extends to Dick and Tarantula. I know a lot of people want DC to acknowledge what happened, but to that I'm like why? Devin Grayson is a notably bad writer when it comes to Dick. There are racist undertones to having Tarantula sexually assault Dick. Devin is literally known for making Dick Roma for fetish reasons. Before this Dick Grayson was a white character, who was already written to be flirty and sexual. These are all important things to consider about the context of the writing. I think it would actually be best if DC did what Gail Simone did with Batgirl. I think it’s unfair to not give these WOC characters the same treatment of understanding when their actions are shitty because of shit authors.

Real world context is vital for understanding these fictional stories. Batman can't kill because that would mean they would have had to be constantly introducing new villains and it would be less child friendly. Robin was introduced to the story because they were trying to market to children. Batman continuing to recruit children is about marketing to kids. The hyper-focus on Dick's romantic life was in part an effort to fight gay allegations. These are all important factors to consider if you're discussing DC critically.

Like realistically yeah it sucks so bad that Alfred and Bruce allowed children to fight crime. But it's also notable to mention that Dick forced Bruce's hand, Bruce was really trying to stop this kid from murdering a man. It was a compromise. Alfred and Dick may have pushed Tim to become Robin but he was already one foot out the door. Damian and Cass were trained by assassins. None of these kids are realistic depictions of children, even if they are relatable. When you read a superhero comic you are suspending a certain level of disbelief and I don't think it's the hot take people think it is to criticize Batman for allowing kids to fight.

Like cool, then we don't have a story. Nothing about superheroes are realistic. Why is this the line we draw in the sand?

I didn't know when to bring this up, so I'm going to awkwardly tack it on at the end. So the "Nothing Butt Nightwing" webcomic... Yeah it looks not good, but a lot of people are calling it out for sexualizing Dick, which once again to me fails to understand the outside context. There is a difference between sexualizing and sexualization of an ethnicity. As I mentioned, for most of Dick's run he was a white character who was written to be flirty. Devin was fetishizing him, but allowing Dick to remain a flirty character is not an act of fetish based sexualization. Personally I think it’s more harmful to get rid of core aspects of his character now that he is canonly Romani. Not to mention that if we address the SA with his character we are now back in this place of stereotyping and bad undertones. So until DC is ready to tell a legitimate story about male SA victims I'd rather the Dick Grayson thing be left silently in the past. I'm so hyper aware that I'm in the minority though. I agree it could be really powerful to have one of those stories be told but consider how harmful it would be to continue to imply these things about WOC.

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

sebek Zigvolt deserves more appreciation

him & rook hunt

They're just

I just

I just like them as so much as characters.

rook is unapologetically himself. He stays true to himself and his ideals no matter what anyone says. Even though literally everyone, including his closest friend Vil, thinks he's weird and even off-putting. Don't get me wrong about Vil. He and Rook are amazingly close but there are multiple instances where Vil finds Rook irritating. He is often told in some manner to curb himself, to tone down his passion for finding the beauty & positivity in all things. All he does is be unabashedly genuine & passionate & artistic & honest. He's also one of the few characters who is relatively kind to Game Canon You from beginning to end in game Canon. In multiple instances in his dialogue he invites others to join him in his hobbies and activities and despite being faced w/ hostility. Even on his birthday, Malleus did not want to go despite sending an invite-which yes Mal can have preferences - but still the fact that the King of lonely rejects an invite shows how fairly isolated Rook is. Yet despite criticism from all around, he maintains this unending positivity & drive to improve. I love Rook hunt

Sebek too. He is a very driven & honest Character. In multiple vignettes he is shown to be helpful, to Show care, to Show admiration for skill in his peers. Yes, he is standoffish. However, he is not deceitful nor manipulative nor does he seem to intend harm unlike a great deal of many especially early on. A lot of comments about humans seem to stem from internalized racism. There is a lot of canonical instances discrimination against fae, especially those who are notably different dwarves & the pixies. So it would be unsurprising if Sebek also grew up under discrimination AND scrutiny both from human community & the fae Community. We know that his grandfather Baul is very vocal about his disapproval of his fae daughter's marriage w/ a human. Yet despite this, he still does his best & still clearly cares. He grew up w/ parents who went against a lot of opposition to be together and are very loving and likely took some of that determination & attitude w/ him in life. He will give praise for skill and will help those he can. His circumstances & upbringing (Scrutiny & discrimination from both fae & humans, even his own grandfather though he mentions that progress has been made there). Despite all of this, he is doing his best and is a wonderfully genuine and honest and expressive and determined guy

So yeah

I love Sebek and Rook. They're great characters and I think they need more appreciation.

also these 2 put the Sebek appreciation way more eloquently than I

[zippidi-dooda]

Dunno if this exists yet, but someone needs to write stories of twst clubs x reader, where members slowly become more attached and possessive of Y/N, could be mild or bordering on yandere actions, platonic or romantic. Includes all clubs, even the single member ones. They can also be set in the current NRC timeline or in the future or as a whole different AU.

Here's some examples and ideas to fuel you to start,

"Basketball Club × Reader" - Be ready to go pro with this ambitious group, Jamil, Ace, and Floyd. An unexpected turn of events is sure to ensue if the time is right, or wrong rather, but rest assured that you'll soon be set back on track by the level headed of the members. You say you don't like the spontaneity? Don't worry, me neither. But if I can, then I'm sure you could also find it in your heart to forgive and just go along with it, yes? Oh dear, don't you seem out of it today. Here, let us help. Just follow my every instruction ... yes, just like that ... it's good to know you're the most cooperative of us ...

"Pop Music Club x Reader" - Have fun jammin' out and sharing crazy stories with this energetic trio, Lilia, Cater, and Kalim. You'll always feel welcomed and noticed here whether you know how to hum a tune or have never touched an instrument in your life. Just enjoy the tea and spill your darkest secrets whenever you'd like, this group is patient and remembers every last detail, you'll never want to leave. Though, if the thought does cross your mind, you'll need to announce your upcoming absence so we can throw a goodbye party. But, maybe you shouldn't. We'll just remind you of all the good times you'll miss. For one last time, we'll laugh and joke about how horrible and destroyed your life would be without us. We know everything about you, even the diabolical. Why, if your secrets were to be spread through magicam like wildfire, it'd close so many doors for you, no one would ever look at you the same. You don't want that, right? It'd be best to just stay here with us where your peace of mind is secured, right? You're free to go, but please don't forget us. And don't forget that all it takes is one push of a button to push your life downhill ...

"Spelldrive Club x Reader" - Soar through the skies as you chase your victory alongside this competitive bunch, Leona, Ruggie, and Epel. You train hard everyday, but there's still time to get together during breaks, the chipper of your group bonding over your mutual desire to crush the competition as your captain snoozes. Other, bigger, teams want to recruit you which is a great opportunity. You're honored. And you should be, but don't you know you're the most valuable member of the team? We couldn't make it without you. Not to mention, we'd be heartbroken to see you leave. These guys are too proud to say it, but deep down you know it's true. Those other guys may be better against teams we haven't been able to beat, but they'll never support you as much we do. You wouldn't want to lose the people who love you most, would you? No? Ah, I'm glad. Don't worry, we're sure to win someday, just stick with us and you'll never have to worry about disappointing anyone again ...

"Equestrian Club x Reader" - Gallop through endless fields alongside your law-abiding yet tender companions, Sebek, Silver, and Riddle. Rest assured that with these three you'll have bushels of fun, but more importantly, you'll always be safe. Always. Perhaps a bit too safe ... but there's no such thing, right? Just follow our instructions quickly and obediently, quietly, and you'll never have to worry about the risks of riding through the wilderness again. We promise not to let you get hurt. If it takes being restricted to only the land visible to us, so be it ... hm? Oh, my apologies, I am simply running my mouth. Pay it no mind. Ah, hey, not that way. Why? Well, we haven't quite explored there yet and we'd rather not risk endangering you or the poor horses. Perhaps we can take a look at it tomorrow and see if it's fit for a trot, yes? I agree, now why don't we head back, I can guide your horse for you if you'd like. Just sit back and relax, you're safe with us taking the reins, I promise. The most safe you'll ever be ...

"Track & Field Club x Reader" - Live life fast and furious with this driven pair, Deuce and Jack. You'll always be encouraged to push your limits with their helpful hollers. You won't be upset long with their optimistic cheering. But make sure you show up for every meet, if not, they'll worry about you. They'll go looking for you. And they will find you. Hey, we haven't seen you around lately, is everything okay? Is now a bad time? I'm sorry, but we really missed you yesterday and just wanted to know nothing bad happened. Why don't you come join us for lunch tomorrow, we don't have to practice. We'll get you whatever you want, promise. Wait! You ... weren't planning on leaving me behind again, were you? Good. Ya had me worried for a second, haha. So, we'll meet up at 2:30? Great. Afterwards we can just hangout. And if you want to go for a quick jog again we'd be more than happy to. We've always been faster than you, though, remember? But, don't worry, we'll go easy on you if you ask. Just don't bolt when we're not looking so we don't have to worry and chase after you ... again ...

"Film Research Club x Reader" - Get ready to make strides in the acting business as you perform and work behind the scenes with model and tech genius, Vil and Ortho. Just make sure you aren't so distracted by the applause and spotlights that you forget to read the fine print of your contract. You wish to quit? I'm sorry, My Dear, but I'm afraid you've agreed to work with only us for xxxx amount of years and we need you to play this next lead in order to ensure our film trumps Neige's. Don't worry, we know all the right tips and tricks to secure perfection, just read the script as directed. Exactly. As directed ...

"Science Club x Reader" - Slip those safety goggles on and hold your breath as you run experiments with this curious pair, Trey and Rook. There's nothing better than getting your hands on new and exciting material. Not exactly sure why you're here? No worries! Not all of us are either, but we have fun here. Any experiments you've heard of you'd like to try? Only illegal ones? No problem we can get our hands on the items needed just tell us what they are ... a funny joke? No. I'm dead serious ... we've done plenty before ... ahaha! You look so frightened, lighten up, no one's died ... yet ... hey wait don't give that look. Sorry if that was too much. We're careful enough to keep things safe ... unnoticed ... what's that liquid? Oh just some juice for a friend using the fruits in here, would you like to try it? Here, have a sip ... what's that? It burns? Ah, I see let's write that down. What else are you feeling? What? Using you? No way, we'd never do something so cruel ... you're simply helping us learn as our lab partner ... oh stop that, no one else is here ... now tell me before things escalate ... what other sensations are you feeling ... fascinating ... it's different compared to last time ... too bad you forget after you wake up ... it's why we have to keep doing this ... over ... and over again

"Board Game Club x Reader" - Roll up thise sleeves and bring your a-game as you play with these competitive gamers, Azul and Idia. Have fun and forget the days worries as you make you way across the mat, never will these two give you a boring game. Though that doesn't mean we can't take things up a notch ... What say you we have a little wager? We beat you xx amount of times and you do us a little favor in return? I promise there'll be no foul play. You could ask a favor of us too if you win. In fact we can sweeten the deal even more if you're game ... no? Oh, don't tell me you're scared you'll lose ... you're not? Good. Then there's no issue making a harmless bet, yes? How lovely ... now, why don't we all sign this paper to ensure no one chickens out when they lose ... oh don't worry it's nothing serious, just a sheet of rules, standard club ware yes? Yes ... now right on the line ... good job. You agreed to sign this freely remember? Right. So don't go back on you word later ... nothing good comes of cheaters ... trust me ... I take care of all of them ...

"Gargoyle Studies Club x Reader" - Prepare to learn each and every random tidbit about each little stone as you explore the ruins with this wise companion, Malleus. Everything may go in one ear and out the other but this voice just so dreamy that you don't mind the rambles, right? But please do make an effort, no one likes a dimwit who can't tell the difference between a grotesque and a gargoyle. But, oh dear, it looks like you really are getting tired. Don't worry, I know how to care for my own, you can slumber for the next century safe at my side. I promise to be here when I let you wake up. At least then we won't need worry about those pesky mortals who wrestle your time from me. Hm, what was that ... you feel disoriented ...? Oh you needn't worry, that's a standard effect ... you won't feel a thing in a moment ... trust me ... your dearest friend ... I'll always be watching over you ...

"Mountain Lovers Club x Reader" - Embark on cozy and informative hikes through the mountains with your knowledgable partner Jade. But beware the trained smiles and pre-packed lunches, you may end up a little further out than planned. Oh, don't worry, the place I had in mind is just a little further along, I promise. You trust me, don't you? Good, then everything should go smoothly. Hm? You're not feeling well? Ah, perhaps you ate something you shouldn't have ... I do hope you were taking note of those wilderness survival tips I gave you ... though, they may not be of much help to you underwater ... hm? Oh, I wasn't saying anything of importance, don't mind me. You did say you trust me, yes? I'd like to find out just how much ...

Honestly, I had a lot of fun writing these ideas, even though I did forget about them for a while.

[the-dark-parade]

WARNINGS! THIS STORY CONTAINS... angst + fluff + lilia×fem reader

A/N: Dear souls, for the moment, thank you for waiting! Once more, I hope my work pleases you. If you are not comfortable with this, feel free to leave. If you would like a version with male reader instead, please request it. Just for your info, my prev fic is still on hiatus. One of these days I'll make a masterlist of my works... Likes, comments and reblogs are very much appreciated. I'm already starting part 3, sorry if this story doesn't fit your expectations!

Now, the parade continues its second destination...

Part 2

You're in a shitty story as a mob, what more could go wrong?

(if only this was a dream...)

.............................

...you open your eyes.

You opened your eyes!

You opened your goddamn eyes already, and even pinched yourself! Hard!

Once, twice, thrice, twisted it, pulled it, you basically tried everything you could!

But..

...you just couldn't get out of this dream.

The walls, ceiling, bed, and everything around you just screamed "this is war".

How, you may ask?

Well for starters, you're in.. a tent, it seems. Low quality.

The bedding doesn't even feel like bedding. It's just some fabric over.. grass. Literal. Grass.

But the worst part about this are 3 main things.

You could feel pain from wounds. (1 covers your whole head and 2 others for your arms. They all ache and itch under all those bandages. You didn't want to believe it at first, but fuck it's itchy as hell.)

As if that wasn't enough, you could hear. Too well for comfort. And you may ask how that's a bad thing.

Well it is. A major, major bad thing. You could hear basically everything between an estimated 10-20 meters, but you're not too sure. From other people's heavy breathing to crickets outside, it felt like everything was being mega-phoned into your ears. Even things you never noticed or heard before were at the noise level of people mumbling.

It is absolutely horrible. Your eardrums feel like exploding, (you hope it's not bleeding at this point) but the bandage around your head helps ever so slightly. You curse this newfound ability.

On top of that, you could also smell the blood, rot, and dirt from all directions. (Like your sense of hearing, your sense of smell has never been this good, even if it's just slightly better than your usual sense of smell. It's just that your surroundings stink and you wish you had a nose-block.)

Luckily, you could still sit up, so you did.

And guess what you saw?

Well, it should be obvious. As if the smells that invaded your nose and overwhelmed you wasn't a tell-tale sign already.

And so, you glanced at your surroundings with a swift turn of your head and eyes. Was it just you, but could you see better?

To your not-so-surprising surprise, there were so. many. injured yet beautiful people(?) - in your brain, you understood that they were people (at least in looks) but their ears were pointy.

...

Curiosity kills the cat, huh?

Well you surely understood that idiom the moment you touched your own ears.

With what you sensed through the bandages on your entire right arm, your fears turned out to be true.

... it's pointy.

Your ears are fucking pointy.

Haha. Hahaha.

This is not a fucking dream.

This is not.. a dream, is it?

And if all those things, no, people, no, you suppose they're called faes, are real...

Then.. did you truly die from reading that shitty novel?

...

...oh.

You wonder about your friends and family, (if you even had any in the first place) but decide to suppress those thoughts before you get a panic attack.

Anyways, onto your next move!

So, using your experience of reading so much fanfiction, you know just what to do!

Thus, you muster up my courage and reach out a hand to the lady(?) man(?) fae.

Their face was covered with some sort of mask. And you decide to go with she for pronouns as her hair is long.

After scanning the place with your eyes for a bit, you notice that everyone had some sort of mask beside them.

...exactly like the ones that were in that shitty novel...

"urm... what.. date is it now? And where are we? I'm a bit confused."

...you hope she doesn't see how much you're sweating. Is it even a she? You rack your brain, yet you can't figure it out due to the mask. You just decide to call her "green sheep" cause the mask she's wearing is green, and it's a sheep.

She responds back.. something. You somehow understand what she's talking about even though my human - not human - ears cannot comprehend it.

What you managed to catch was "Briar", exactly the same name as the fae's country in the book.

But what you suppose was slightly better was the date. It was 10 years before the main story would end.

After that would be the d day, the day were you and everyone else in this country die.

It's okay, everything's okay!

You are NOT freaking out!

(...not here, at least.)

...

...you want to cry.

Your injuries still hurt and your bandages still itch. Even after so many days of lying in bed.

(...but it's not like that's the only reason.)

Anyways, you suck it up.

It's the only thing you can do now anyways.

-

-

-

The days pass by pretty slowly. You can't believe it's only been a week since you got here. It feels so much longer than that.

Day after day, you get a new memory of who "you" used to be.

You suppose it's better for you...

Like clockwork, you apply the little amount of ointment you're given, change the bandages on your wounds, resist the urge to scratch, eat, exercise as much as I can, sleep and repeat.

It's not so bad after some time.

...

...haha, who are you joking?

You've resorted to talking (in your head, you're not that big of a weirdo!) to yourself because you're so lonely and have no friends here.

Your hand twitches from time to time because you forget you don't have your phone with you anymore.

Everyone is extremely tense and stressed out, not just you.

At night, you're unable to sleep, and not just because your hearing has gotten exceptionally better.

The clanging of swords, the whispers and the different people being shuffled in day after day keeps you up at night.

And even if you do sleep, all you have are nightmares.

Dreams of the modern life you used to have.

It isn't so unbelievably strange that you miss it now. Anyone in your shoes would. The convenience and comfort it came with was extremely addicting.

The more you think about it, the more you can't sleep.

And thus, you lay awake in bed, eyes open, just hearing the tick of the clock.

How long has it been?

How long will you be here?

You're scared. You're lonely. You want to go home. Badly.

...

...But you can't do a single thing about it, and you start to feel numb and accept your fate. It's highly unlikely at this rate.

You just wish this is all a bad dream.

.............................

A/N: You're in denial and will soon have a mental breakdown hahaha! I'm pretty sure my writing style changed, so sorry if you dislike it. Stay tuned for part 3!! Sorry for the long ass waiting times I'll try to post more often 😔😔😔

It'll take a few more chapters til lilia comes idk though but kinda slow burn??

extra for males:

You wake up and wonder.. is your ding dong still there?!

You check your pants and come to a horrible realization...

IT'S GONEEEEEEE!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

😞😞😞😞😔😔😔😔😔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[lafaiette]

Your Lavellan breaks through the fog of Solas’s expectations and suppositions of behavior, limits, and nature that he has held and observed as a millennia-old being. Lavellan is a mortal, a fragile, flawed mortal with death looming and immense social and political and military power and yet she does not allow it to corrupt her. She holds steadfast to duty, to what is right, what is ethical. She is open minded in defiance to everything the world has taught her of spirits being scary and unknown.

@yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy THIS, EXACTLY. This is who Lavellan was for Solas in Inquisition. Not all Lavellans are the same, of course - some are ruder, harsher, more cynical than others, but all of them must have an open mind about spirits, want to save people, and not be tyrants to start a romance with Solas. I don't remember if an Inquisitor can ever say they enjoy having been thrust into this whole mess, like "Hey, interrupting Corypheus' ritual was worth it, look how powerful I am now! >:D "

I believe most Lavellan would feel very disconcerted at the sudden position they are in, even if they were not happy in their clan. They can grow to love the Inquisition and their new leadership role, but it's not something they asked for, that they fought for - it happened because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And this is the first difference with Mythal. Morrigan says that Mythal loved ruling, that she asked Elgar'nan to share power, but wanted to do so in a kind way, like a mother guiding her people. However, she was also prickly, because she hated being wrong, being corrected, wanted to be respected as a god, but not in a servile way, wanted to right wrongs, but only if they were just and interested her according to her ideas. Like all spirits, Morrigan says, her emotions were incredibly strong and volatile.

How, then, can Lavellan remind Solas of her? To continue her romance with him, Lavellan must actually face and accept the idea that the Dalish remember many things wrong. One of the first things she can say to him in Haven is "I am sorry - if the Dalish did you a disservice, I will repair that. How can we do better?" - and in being humble, Lavellan makes Solas humble. He falters, accepts her apology and apologies in return, and admits he was wrong, because the Dalish could never recover what is lost. By showing him humility, Lavellan allows him - a spirit made flesh - to reflect that humbleness and embody it. Mythal never did this, she actually turned his very nature, his wisdom, into pride.

When Solas tells Lavellan about the vallaslin, there are several possible reactions. She can be sad and ashamed ("We try to preserve our culture, and this is what we keep?"), angry because she is hurt, react in shock - but she always accepts the truth. She doesn't get angry at Solas because he corrected her ("They honor the elven gods." "No. They are slave markings."), which is what Mythal would have done; she can get angry because of shame, yes, but at the end she knows what he's saying it's true and she accepts the truth, the wisdom, he gives her. And she can choose what to do with it: renounce the vallaslin's terrible history or embrace the new meaning the Dalish gave them.

Lavellan can make decisions that are wrong, according to Solas, like not exile the Wardens or not use Gaspard as a puppet for Briala and her elves. But they talk about it, they can have a par-on-par discussion about it, something it's clear he never could do with Mythal. In all the regret cutscenes we see, he always accepts to do what she asks of him, never once arguing with her. Yes, he starts his rebellion also against her, because she betrayed him and his ideals of freedom, but it's clear he still feels reverence for her and even asks to meet her in secret to warn her about the Blight they created.

Mythal liked ruling and didn't give up power, even when the Evanuris started going too far. Lavellan gives up her power, in one way or another: she can either completely disband the Inquisition or give it to the Chantry. She doesn't keep the power for herself or start a coup to undermine Ferelden and Orlais' demands. She has lost her arm, discovered world-shattering information, and is surrounded by bloodhounds: so she gives up her position and influence, something not even Mythal, in all her "wisdom and kindness", ever did. Something no ruler, Solas once warned her, would logically do. But she does!

Never, not even once, I considered Lavellan to be a foil to Mythal while playing Inquisition. In that game, Mythal is actually described as a foil to Andraste, to Flemeth, to all the women of Thedas betrayed and cast aside. Flemeth announces there will be a reckoning, and Mythal allows Solas to take her power from her without question, because she wants to be avenged. She has been crawling through the ages for this very purpose.

But in Veilguard, the last regret mural shows her suddenly changing her mind and questioning him, with Solas making just the vaguest comment about the elves deserving to get their immortality back, the faintest of threads tying it back to Trespasser. Why then allow him to take her power, if that's not what she wanted to do anymore?

And how can the fragment of Mythal from the Crossroads, that very fragment Morrigan warns being still tied to vengeance and rage, be the one who manages to change his mind? Why should that part of Mythal, still hungry for retribution, tell him to stop and free him from his service?

So basically one of Solas' murals

is the Crestwood scene, but with reversed roles. Solas is the rejected one, Mythal is the one who walks away, leaving him alone in what I presume was a glade at night, judging from the environmental sounds and hushed tones we can hear.

And, to be honest, I don't know how I feel about it - it feels like it cheapens the Crestwood scene, repeating an abusive pattern, stripping away the romance and softness of that scene. It's, once again, something Solas already went through with Mythal, not something he shares with Lavellan only. It's Weekes saying yet again that Solas saw Mythal in Lavellan, and that's why he fell in love with her. Not because she was Lavellan, but because she reminded him of Mythal and gave him hope that all elves could return to that "level" of wisdom.

What we learn in this game also ruins the kiss scene on the balcony, where Solas say "You have showed wisdom I have not seen since... since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade."

Most of us believed he meant "Wisdom I have not seen since my ancient days in Elvhenan", but it's basically confirmed at this point that he meant "Wisdom I have not seen since Mythal".

A month ago, someone here mentioned how Weekes had said there was a specific reason why Solas had falled for Lavellan. I never found the interview where they said so, but I saw many believed it had something to do with reincarnation, lost soulmates finding each other again etc., but once again, it's clear what Weekes meant, and it's bad, cheap writing.

They could have written a god finally learning the error of his ways thanks to his love for a mortal - a love completely different from that of who was basically an abuser, a parent-like figure forcing him to take form and serve -, but instead they went for the easy route: a god still loving another god, feeling love for a mortal who reminds him of her, and changing his mind only because his god finally gives him permission to be free.

The mortal who supposedly "changes everything" serves no purpose - she actually tells him "There is no fate but the love we share" after he's been "freed" from his service, which in this context, in this situation, sounds more like a punishment, another yoke, some sort of "I finally got you, you can't run from me anymore".

I don't know what happened to Weekes' writing - either they were forced to make these decisions due to various constraints, or they completely changed their style/ideas during development, because this is not the Solas, this is not the Solavellan romance, we got in DA:I.

[fallen-child-escapism]

RALSEI DOES N O T LOOK LIKE THAT

(Deltarune theory)

Tldr: Ralseis "unmasked" self is indeed a costume. He does NOT look like that. It is a costume to better suit his "role" and distract or earn the affection of the player.

One of the most jarring things about ralsei to me is his appearance. No, I don't think ralsei is asriel, yes I know they're anagrams. Ralsei is special. He's THE prince of the dark. So tell me please, why the hell does he look like your average boss monster from the light world. You'd think the "prince of the dark" would look kinda...dark? Nah he's white and pink with bashful eyelashes. I call bullshit on that. Look at this guy

I just can't bring myself to believe this is what he looks like. But, I think we do know what he does look like.

Behold our prince of the dark. "No no he took off his hat at the end of chapter 1! He's casted in shadow that's why he looks like that!" I hear you. But we've seen THIS version of ralsei without his hat already

No hat, still a black, less "boss monster " looking creature. We've also seen his "unmasked" self in multiple outfits, including hats. None of which shade his entire body to make his fur appear black.

Now, I understand maybe this was all to not allude to his "true" white fluffy appearance until it is revealed at the end of chapter 1. But I can't accept that. His silhouettes are completely different in each design.

Things like his horns, his height, the shape of his legs and feet and the fur on his face. That stuff shouldn't change if its just being taken out of the shadows.

I propose this. Ralsei has changed form to appease us(the player). It goes without saying that ralsei knows more than the other characters in the game. Infact, many would go as far to say as he knows he's IN a game.

Here comes the theory crafting. I believe ralsei has been told to take this shape. We can infer that ralsei has not been around long. Even if he has, he's been EXTREMELY secluded. His whole life has led up to meeting kris and Susie and carrying out his role in this story. I do not by any means think ralsei is evil. I do believe he is slightly mislead. He has likely chosen to or been told to shift his appearance to be cuter, fluffier, more approachable. He's the cute one after all.

If difficult for me to word this. I have such a specific view of deltarune and how meta I view it to be. I can however offer up an amazing video essay that helped me form my opinions and ideas for ralsei. I highly recommend it, and if you've read this much, you might as well watch it.

It has really interesting insight on ralseis character and has takes on him I haven't seen any body else have.

Conclusion

While I think it would be an amazing reveal, we won't know more about ralsei until the full game is released. If my theory is wrong, that's alright. Because I have fun imagining ralsei as a slightly skrunklier eldritch creature than an asriel look alike. And maybe some of you will adopt my "theory" or headcannon. Either way, I do think ralseis appearance will be addressed in the future. So until then, we'll see.

Also ralsei will definitely be one of the final bosses

[sageofthestarz]

Dew doesn't like quintessence magic

It's not that he doesn't like it in general. He appreciates it's healing abilities. It's ability to help calm people. Help heal a broken mind

He's just seen first hand what it can do in the wrong hands

He's been on his fair share of quint magic

It's powerful, terrifying. If a ghoul has enough control over their magic they can use it to make you a completely different person. Use it to screw up your mind, believe things that aren't true, remove parts of memory. It can change who you are entirely, and think it's completely voluntary

In the pits there aren't many quints. They're rare, the handful that there is are typically multis. They have less powerful abilities then full quints; Swiss' magic Being a good example. Lesser healing abilities, some mind trickery, but nothing that could really mess the brain up for an extended period of time

The full quints though are terrifying. Overlords of the pits, taking in less powerful ghouls as slaves, or live meat. Like nothing more then cattle

Dews seen it all first hand

A pretty little water ghoul with gorgeous flowing fins, and fire bright colors. A perfect display piece

A show dog too drunk on magic to realize that they are just a toy

Then he was summoned. Crashing up to earth, and invited into the ministry, forced to gain the abilities needed to survive uptop now. Becoming the tech for the band ghouls all the way back during Primos run

It was hard, grew attached to the wrong people who saw just how easy a target he was. Could smell the magic still stuck to his fresh form

Getting into what he thought would be a mateship turned into a years long mistake. At each sign of Dews disobedience the magic would flood through his brain, make him easy, compliant

So drugged up on it he barely remembers that time even with countless sessions with Omega, and Aether to try and help

It wasn't until he was assigned to be Omegas tech during Secondos era did things start to change. Omega saw what was happening as he grew closer with Dew, helped put a stop to it. That ghoul is back in the pits now. Or dead. He doesn't know, and frankly doesn't want to. Omega, and in turn Alpha are both terrifying in their own rite

Omega did what he could to repair Dews mind. Dew opening up fully to him now. At first as his new master of sorts. It's all he's known after all, but Omega made it clear Dew could and should be his own person

Even so he let Omega do as he pleased, slowly unlocking what memories he could that had been pushed away by the other ghoul, so much repressed emotion. So much that even after years he only has a fraction known

Dew grew wary of quint ghouls, even Omega for a time after. His own paranoia driving him to snap, lash out at anything. He's apologized to Omega many times over now. He knew he just wanted to help. That it was his job too. The anxiety of the magic, and the fact at any point he could be brought down to a point like that again though was terrifying

As years go on he accepts most, though always remains wary

Doesn't trust Aether, doesn't trust Swiss. Those affections grew in time, that trust built up over years

It's strange

Allowing himself, even asking at times to be made brainless like that again when he avoided it for so long. On days when things are too much. On days when the stress of a relentless tour schedule breaks him down. It's nice for a time..

Until it wasn't.

He felt the residual traces in the back of his mind when he would allow Aether to use it

He tried to ignore the fear, and alarm raising in his chest when it didn't disapate like it had before

He went to him, scared, panicked, angry. Too much emotion to the point he couldn't hear, think even what he was yelling at him, accusing-

Then he was calm.

Mind empty.

This was Aether.

Aether loves him.

He loves Aether.

He asked for this.

He wanted to be only Aether's.

Didn't he?

[tighnarisfavourite]

❀ poison in my mind, dreaming ‘bout you. ── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

tighnari x fem!reader

tighnari has been feeling poisoned lately, poisoned by you. experiencing feelings he had never felt before.

word count : 1113

❀ It felt like the most intoxicating feeling in the world as if he had been poisoned by those pesky fungi—poison flowing throughout him, washing over him completely. Tighnari’s emotions became more and more unstable, day by day, feeling himself weaken.

His pulse quickened, those sickening feelings he was trying to keep hidden within him rising to the surface every time he saw you, even his ears betraying him as they always stood up straight to the sight of you.

It was like an endless fever, one that didn’t pass with rest and medication. But it was frequently there when you were with him. A rosy color always seemed to creep up to his cheeks, increasing his body temperature.

Don’t even get him started on when you would put your hand up to his forehead to feel it, feeling the heat he managed to achieve in his face from you. Whenever you would ask, “Are you feeling unwell, Tighnari? It seems as if you have a fever... we should probably head back to Gandharva Ville so you can get some rest.” But he always brushed it off, shaking his head in addition to your concern, saying that he’s fine.

Health-wise, yes, he was fine... but emotionally? Oh, he was utterly smitten with you, even if he tried to play it off and gaslight himself into thinking he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and that’s why he’s feeling a bit strange but obviously, that was not true.

But can you blame him for thinking like that? He was knowledgeable about many things, but something as simple as love and affection was completely foreign to him. This was a new experience for him!

Even if he was so unknowing about love, you definitely were not. Seeing the way his personality changes from his usual one that’s an embodiment of sarcasm to being flustered and even tripping over his words? Now, that was unlikely of him...

So, you purposefully teased him, to gain reactions from him and to see if your suspicions are indeed right. It could go from you simply letting your gaze linger on him for a few seconds too long, brushing your shoulder against his as the two of you walked side by side, or letting your eyes fall to his lips.

And just as you thought, he always had a strong reaction to something you did, confirming your suspicions. Though, you liked him just as much as he liked you. His mind was poisoned with the thoughts of you while your dreams were filled with just him. Nothing else but him.

But your acts didn’t go unseen... at least not by Collei. She was honestly getting tired from seeing the two of you always pining each other but not one of you daring to make a move on the other. So, she had to make a plan. Push the two of you into a close contact situation.

Well... that’s how you ended up in this situation. Collei had purposefully forgotten to tell you to bring a tent to this little camping trip she planned, being all like “I’m so sorry, [name]! I ended up forgetting because of how excited I was about it! I would let you sleep in mine... but it’s too small for the both of us.”

You just ended up saying it’s okay, not wanting the poor girl to lose her marbles because she had somehow “forgotten” to tell you to bring a tent with you. “It’s fine, Collei. [name] can sleep with me in mine tonight, it’s not big but it can fit two people in it.” Tighnari had spoken up.

Now, you didn’t really expect him to be so willing to let you sleep with him tonight in his tent but... who were you to decline his invitation? After all, it’s a much better choice than sleeping outside where you could potentially get hurt. “Alright then, sorry again for causing trouble.” Collei apologized once again.

You put out the fire, exchanging a quick goodnight with Collei before she scurried off into her tent and so did you into Tighnari’s tent. He had already laid down the sleeping pad, the quilt on top. “I should’ve probably used my common sense and brought a tent with me, even if Collei didn’t mention it. Sorry about this.” You gave him a small smile as he dismissively waved his hand.

“Well, I certainly won’t deny that. It is a camping trip, after all, tents are expected to be brought even if the host doesn’t mention to bring one.” He replied before shaking his head. “But it’s fine, don’t beat yourself up over it too much. Come on.”

You and Tighnari laid down on the sleeping pad, covering yourselves with the quilt. The sleeping setup certainly wasn’t meant for two people, it had just enough space for one person but you had to make do, even if that meant your bodies pressed against each other.

Your cheeks had no doubt flushed with the close contact between the two of you, how could they not? You were sharing a bed with the man you’ve been crushing on for quite some time now...

You got caught off guard when you felt something fluffy wrap against your waist... it was Tighnari’s tail— you turned around, feeling his breath right on your face. It seemed as if he’d already fallen asleep... his eyes were tightly shut.

A smile couldn’t help but form itself on your lips as you looked at his face, his expression so blank yet... a calmness radiated off of it. Well— you thought he was asleep until you noticed one of his eyes opening. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh— I... didn’t mean to stare—” You were about to turn around once again before he stopped you, with his arm wrapping around you, pulling you close to him— letting your head lay against his chest. “Stay close to me, the night is cold. I don’t want you getting sick.” His voice had changed into a soft whisper, just loud enough for it to reach your ears.

Well... you hadn’t expected this from him, but... you weren’t going to decline his sudden affection. It was comforting and warm in his embrace, you felt safe in it even if your heart was thumping against your chest so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of your body.

“Get some sleep, [name]. I’ll keep you safe throughout the night.” Those are the last words you heard from him before your eyes became heavy, your ears blocking out every other sound as you succumbed to sleep.

[sweetjazzygirl]

I'm just going to clarify this, sorry if i didn't word it right.

I was not and never has once before saying that "Snaccpop team are horrible people", criticizing is one thing but saying they're horrible people is not. Saying this because someone acted like that was my intentions. (Not to the person who made the tiktok video btw)

Besides, with the whole thing happened before this drama. I couldn't help my paranoia and overthinking, i couldn't help hoping that nothing will go wrong.

I swear i didn't mean to act like i was rushing them, i was expressing my frustration and even they understand that, that doesn't mean you gotta take me for someone who throws false accusations around out of nowhere. I may be getting frustrated but i'm not some dumbass that is here wanting to seek attention by starting drama as if treating it like some kind of a trend just because you came across many content creators coming out as problematic people.

So now seeing this is happening, it's crazy how my worst fear came true (i wish i didn't jinx it). Having the internet making up rumors all because they lacked communication, it's even worse to learn that this was not the first time.

Snaccpop doesn't mind getting criticized, they also understand our frustration. I admit i was more upset that it took long for them to announce Jambee's computer issues because here's the thing, no one knows the creator's account (as i do ever since i came across the classic version of SDJ which was before they deleted their account) and they aren't up to date because of that so, it's understandable why they'd be upset that it took them this long and again, this is not me saying they're horrible people. I never considered them as "the bad guys", i'm not an idiot.

And to the internet, just because you're frustrated, doesn't give you the right to throw false accusations around them. NOR does it give you the right to compare Jambeebot to Yandere Dev, a guy who has been outed as a CHILD PREDATOR, even if you compare the part of them "whining to the fans", you do not compare Jambee to this disgusting human being. I only decided to stick around because i felt guilty, guilty for being upset, even if they claim that it's valid, even if they said they don't mind us leaving.

They're a small team with struggles, that's something most of us needs to understand, i know i said somewhere in my post "make a video" before this whole situation happened and dare i say i'm glad i wasn't the one who made one (a video), i was going to but hesitated, waited until i see if something happens. The video wasn't going to be about them being "terrible people", it's more about the lack of communication, the removed content with no explanation, stuff like that, that is not to consider "horrible people", hell no.

it's not my fault i wasn't up to date because people came up feeling like they have been scammed or something and if my posts really did seemed off, at least try and correct me, don't just accuse me of someone that wants them to release the game immediately (as that would be rushing the game and ruins it) and stuff like that or even tell me to go outside, do better. Same goes to others that throws rumors around.

[beybladeninja]

Ever since he woke up, he wanted to die.

When Fives told him about the conspiracy that supposedly reached the highest places in the Senate, Kix knew something was up. Fives was usually so cheerful and laid back, so to see him so harried and insistent greatly unnerved him. Then Fives was shot and killed by friendly fire for conspiracy against the Chancellor? He knew he had to investigate.

So he did some digging of his own; he owed it to Fives. He discovered the inhibitor chips and their true purpose within the clones, even going as far as to remove his own. The procedure had left a scar, so he started to grow out his hair to cover it up. Of course he got looks and questions from his brothers about the change in style, but as long as he could continue his work without anyone looking too far into him, he was fine.

That’s what he thought, anyway.

He had his evidence. He had his testimony. He was fully prepared to face either the Jedi Council or the Senate, and expose the Chancellor and the Kaminoans for conspiracy and treason.

That was when the Separatists found him.

What happened next was a blur, but the next thing he knew, he was tumbling out of a cryo-cycle stasis pod and having trouble breathing. He didn’t recognize the people standing around him, but he tried anyway to get them to listen. He told them what he’d found out and tried to stress the urgency of the situation, fearing for the lives of his brothers and the safety of the Republic.

Only for them to laugh in his face and tell him that the Clone Wars had been over for 50 years.

50 years. He had been frozen in stasis for that long. The Clone Wars were over. Kamino was destroyed. The clones had turned on the Jedi, effectively wiping them out. The Republic had fallen. The Galactic Empire had taken its place. That Empire had only lasted 20 years. A New Republic was slowly being built in its place.

Most shockingly, all of his brothers were gone.

Everyone and everything Kix had ever known was simply no more. He had no family. No allies. No home. No purpose. He was truly and utterly alone in the galaxy.

Ever since he woke up, he wanted to die.

Or he would be, if the pirate crew that found him hadn’t offered to take him in. Pirates, of all things. The very people he and his brothers had sworn to fight against. The irony was not lost on him.

He took their offer anyway. It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go.

So he traveled with them, discovering new treasures and learning new things about the galaxy he had been locked out of for so long. He was especially horrified to learn that his brothers’ good names had been slandered for generations. Instead of being known for the brave and loyal soldiers that he knew they were, they were known as monsters who had helped the worst governments in the history of the galaxy to gain power.

Ever since he woke up, he wanted to die.

He couldn’t stand knowing that his brothers were being remembered in the wrong - make that the worst - way. So whenever the crew stopped in a town and he had an audience that would listen, he would tell them stories about the Clone Wars. More specifically, the clones themselves. He would tell them about the various struggles they went through during the war, and even helped to clear up some misunderstandings about some of the more well-known battles. He would tell them how some of the clones spent their downtime, fleshing them out, making them human for his audience. The more stories he told, the more he overheard others speak of the clones in a favorable tone. The realization made him happy, knowing that he was clearing his brothers’ good names.

But no matter how many stories he told, the ache in his chest refused to go away. The knowledge that he could have saved his brothers and the Republic as a whole hung over his head like a cloud from Kamino. Whenever he saw a piece of armor or of a ship from the Clone Wars, it took everything in his willpower not to break down crying. Whenever he tried to enjoy a drink, he would remember how he and his brothers would hang out at 79’s, and the memories would turn the already bitter drinks even more so. Whenever someone tried to get his attention and he turned, expecting to see his own face staring back at him, only to see a stranger, he had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming. Whenever he was forced to take down an enemy, he would remember when he once used his hands to save others instead of harm them, and he would wonder what his brothers would think of him if they could see him.

Ever since he woke up, he wanted to die.

The idea to end his own life surfaced time and time again, if only to see his brothers again, but he knew they would never forgive him if he took the easy way out. So whenever he found himself or his comrades in a sticky situation, he fought with everything he had. He fought like a soldier of the Republic, preserving his brothers’ legacy through his actions as well as his words. He made sure that the entire galaxy knew that the clones weren’t extinct.

That being said, if his time were to come, either by blaster fire or some other form of death, he wouldn’t fight it. He would accept his end and march on to the afterlife to join his brothers. He honestly couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait for Hardcase to sweep him up in one of his bone-crushing hugs. He couldn’t wait for Jesse to give him a slightly gentler hug, though nonetheless firm. He couldn’t wait for Fives to slap him on the back and ask, “What took you so long?” He couldn’t wait for Rex to squeeze his shoulder and say “Welcome home, trooper.”

Ever since he woke up, he wanted to go home.

—————

My friend got me hooked on Star Wars: The Clone Wars a couple months ago, and I’ve been falling down a clone rabbit hole ever since. Those brave men were created for a war they had no say in, yet still fought in. They saved many planets and even more lives, but were forced to turn against themselves and their allies in the end. They deserve more than what the galaxy can give them.

And then I heard of Kix - the last clone trooper, still alive 50 years after the end of the war. Left to live in a galaxy that had no more of his brothers in it. Left to deal with everything they’d left behind.

Literally the last of his kind. Do you have any idea how lonely this man would feel?

I had to write something for him, if only to make others feel my pain.

I may be becoming too attached to these characters - someone please send help.

[thefirstknife]

100% true, definitely needs to be said.

A lot of people in fandom spaces HATE when characters grow and change. They get attached to a certain version of a character that appeals to them the most, and if the character grows or changes in anyway, these people will become upset and go as far as to claim things are being retconned or whatever (especially if they change against their headcanons and like I'm sorry but sometimes your headcanons are wrong).

Drifter literally just had a character arc, and an excellent one at that. We know so much about his life. We know where he came from, how he lived at the start of being a Lightbearer, we know what he went through. We know what he lost and how, we know how much it traumatised him. His trauma caused him to close off and isolate, to keep people at bay because if he gets close to them, he will lose them again. He resented the Light and searched for other ways, leading him into schemes and unsavoury company and experimenting with the Darkness back when that was much more frowned upon and more dangerous.

He didn't want connections because he didn't trust them. He didn't trust that they would last and that he wouldn't be hurt again. Everyone who dismisses Drifter's trauma or treats it as just some cool aspect of his character is immediately suspect to me, not gonna lie. Like, yes, unhinged Drifter is interesting as a character and I enjoy that part of his life as well, but I ultimately want him to heal and get better.

It's always been presented that he wanted to do good and to help people and save them, but given his circumstances, he either couldn't or, later, he started distancing from them because he believed that his presence would make it worse. Drifter always cared, deeply. The name chosen for him even as a Dredgen was "Hope." His arc was always moving in the direction of him accepting his helpful nature and coming to terms of working with other people, having a community, and having trusted friends. That's the natural conclusion of his story. He overcomes his trauma.

Which he did! And it took years. And it started with us. Arguably, you can say it also started with Shin and the Gambit setup with the Vanguard, but we, the YW, were the true first catalyst. We didn't have any baggage around him, so we accepted who he was and we trusted him. And we were one of the people who he wouldn't lose. We stayed with him through everything so far. Through us, he realised that there's more to connection with other people than simply losing them.

Drifter's arc from someone who saw no hope for survival and was ready to leave it all behind and try his luck out there all alone to someone who gradually realised that there's strength in the pack and that there are people who care and who will help him and protect him has genuinely been one of the best parts of the Destiny story. Way too many people view Drifter superficially and have never engaged with any of his story.

This is particularly baffling when it comes from people who are allegedly fans of him. Why do you want him to suffer forever? Because, as a fan of the Drifter, I want him to have a character arc and to heal from trauma. I want him to feel safe. I want him to never be hungry again. I want him not to worry about people he cares about dying in his arms.

I feel like a lot of people just want to be able to write edgy angst fanfics. And I want a narrative: I want characters to evolve over time and respond to the changes in their circumstances.

Sorry for going off on your post, you're completely correct and this is one of those pet peeves that I have, specifically about the Drifter and how the fandom treats him and how many times I've seen the fandom rejecting his arc and his healing from trauma. Anti-recovery website, I guess. Idk, the borderline obsession with the Drifter from 5 years ago who was going through immense suffering and isolation out of fear and paranoia is kinda uncomfortable to me in the context of people saying that this Drifter was better.

It was a great start to his character! It made him really interesting and compelling! Knowing where he came from and how he started is what makes the rest of his story stand out and encapsulate the core of the Destiny's theme. He chose to change. He chose to overcome his fears and anxiety and to try. And there's plenty of characters who refused to do this; those stories are also compelling. But the Drifter was never pointed in that direction. From the very start, he was shown to be a man of hope, and care, and need to protect. He just didn't get a chance to fulfil his purpose until much later. And I'm glad he got that chance. I love seeing him enjoying his time with people and helping everyone out. It's what he always wanted.

mildly unpopular drifter opinion that nobody asked for: he hasn't been "defanged" he's grown closer to the guardian + most of the characters we see him interact with in lore, and dropped enough of his act to resign to his usual bullshit without the exaggeration he's shown to use to keep people at bay. I definitely enjoy unhinged drifter but I enjoy character development more. send post

[movedtodykedvonte]

So confused where fandom/fic writers got this interpretation that Miles does stupid shit that doesn’t make sense or barely works out in the end or puts his friends in unnecessary danger all the time. Like in both movies the others simply underestimate him and don’t understand what Miles is doing cause he thinks like Miles, not like your everyday Spiderman. He uses his Venom Strike to throw Kingpin in the ITSV movie and literally saves Gwen and Peter because they went into battle less than ready. Then had the entire plan to lure the Spiders in ATSV, yet I keep seeing him written like he doesn’t think or gets his friends in trouble even when he understands the danger. Most of the time his different thinking has helped or led people to fix personal issues.

The first movie alone pretty much sets in stone that the exact opposite of what he wants is others to get hurt by his actions, inactions or the actions of others and trying to live up to that belief and the expectations it carries. Across the Spider-verse hammers it home with how he constantly tries to save people because that’s what he should do, rather than listen to some theory that is clearly not absolute at best and outright wrong at worst. Every fic has him being the one to cause issues and not fix them when his planning and actions literally helped save Gayatri and her father.  (c’mon we know the glitching was the spot)

Yeah, I get making him stubborn or strong willed cause he doesn’t listen all the time but usually it’s for a good and valid reason, if he listened every time he was told not to, guess how many of our beloved characters would be dead?

[skrunksthatwunk]

something he can't put into words.