#Theme of this year. It's been fucked but its gonna be ok.

[rosepetalkitty]

ngl hdg kinda amazes me in its ability to cater to my kinks pretty much perfectly while simultaneously triggering several of the worst parts of my trauma.

like how is it that it hits on everything i like on the surface, provides semi-decent worldbuilding to back it all up and enable the creation of stories, and even has consistent backstory and stuff, and yet the entire damn thing instills this looming sense of dread and fear that i can't shake enough to properly enjoy it...

below the break im gonna talk in like. moderate detail. about the parts that scare me. so uh yeah be aware that it'll get heavy that's just how it is.

ok, so the worst thing for me. wellness checks. the idea is cute and kinda hot on the surface. "make sure you're okay and if you're not you're getting domesticated" (which is supposed to be like. a happy thing. "now you get to just chill and be happy and get taken care of forever and in return you give me only your submission"). yeah, fuck it, im into that. hell that's not even an uncommon trope in the realm of cnc/mc writing.

except whenever i read an hdg wellness check story (in the sense of those long-ish tumblr posts that people write—i haven't even really considered reading the longer form content on ao3) there's something viscerally... off... about the tone. it stops feeling like kink and starts feeling like a nightmare when things happen to line up just so, and then it clicks, and reminds me that i knew people, real people, who had "wellness checks" happen in real life, except that instead of it being a kink thing that made them happy and was genuinely for their wellbeing, it was that their parents had hired people to kidnap them and drag them to a psych ward when they just needed a therapist. not all of those people that i knew have come home, as far as im aware. some have been gone for years.

and what about the whole idea of the non-consensual part being okay because "it's for your own good". in hdg-land it is. it's genuinely good for you and everyone seems to be happy with it, other than the occasional "bad guy who hates good things" trope (feralists, in hdg, afaik). but that's exactly what they told me when they cut contact between my boyfriend and i while he was in the hospital. "it's for your own good." guess what, it wasn't. his parents didn't like our relationship. they wanted me to forget him. they either didn't understand or didn't care that i couldn't. it was a year and a half before he came home and i had forgotten nothing.

our loss of communication was the tipping point in a series of events that, had i made one decision differently in the end, would have killed me. thankfully i fucked it up and am here today, no longer in that bad of a place may i add. im choosing not to share any of what happened to me directly right now because i don't want to turn this into a full on trauma dump, but suffice it to say there are recurring themes.

it's so interesting to me because in a lot of ways i have found comfort from those experiences in kink and writing. take flames of averon: mech pilots are neurochemically bonded to their handlers. how different is this from what the affini do to their florets? well, you have to sign up to be a pilot, and there's no authority in the world threatening you if you choose not to. even the coalition military wouldn't dare force you to become a pilot against your will, though they might never stop sending you promotional flyers if they find out you're able to tolerate the cyberware /lh

hell, im into cnc. im really into it. i chose to leave it as an opening between pilots and handlers in foa. the implication exists that if a handler tells their pilot to do something the poor thing will have a hell of a time saying no. that's intentional. it's hot to me, on either end. but the safety comes from other things.

yes, your handler has a lot of influence over you at a level that's hard to imagine, but you chose them and they chose you (most of the time), or at the very least neither of you had any complaints to raise with your supervisor when the paperwork came in for syncing your link chips (holly and astrid from seat of consciousness).

yes it's true, you can't be reassigned now that you're bonded, but that doesn't mean you have zero recourse if your handler is treating you badly. if you need to, you can always file paperwork with your commanding officer to request that something be done.

plus, handlers go through a lot of training, which includes screening to filter out people who would actually harm their pilots. yeah, some handlers are a little sadistic, but when it comes down to it they are on your side. if that wasn't the case they would never have passed pre-basic.

put another way, as a pilot in flames of averon, the closest thing ive ever written to a floret, there are a multitude of points at which you could have said no and didn't, and although that's obviously still noncon in the grand scheme of things, it's "signing away your freedom" cnc compared to the hdg flavor of "you 'consented' via it being the best thing for you whether you like it or not."

even if your handler just told you to "stay" for the first time and you're currently panicking and trying to figure out why your legs won't move, you still have some tiny amount of agency—an escape hatch, so to speak—and you'll just never end up having to use it.

and to me, the loss of that minute level of agency which will never be invoked is the difference between "this is hot as hell and feels perfectly safe" and "this is the abuse that was once leveraged against those i cared about, and to some degree myself, and it's simply been repackaged with a kink sticker slapped on."

none of this is to say i hate hdg, it's fans, those who write about it, or even the parts of it which scare me. i do think the idea is hot. hdg is pretty cool. hell, it was one of my inspirations in writing a lot of the pilot/handler dynamics in flames of averon. but it does scare me. and no matter what i tell myself i can't shake that fear.

it's frustrating, because oftentimes fear can be part of what makes something hot, but the particular flavor of fear which hdg instills in me is one which makes bitter all that it reaches. maybe someday i'll grow out of it. the traumatic memories from which that fear stems were only created in the past couple of years, to be fair. but something tells me a piece of that fear will never be fully dislodged from my mind.

so, all this to say, while i am into hdg, it's a complicated relationship.

(and on a sillier in character note to lighten the mood—please feel free to respond to this with roleplay or whatever you like!)

to any Affini out there who might be reading this, know that im not scared of you. im not scared of what you represent. im only scared by the fact that you mimic that which has left the scars you see on my soul today. im not against being taken in as a floret, and none of this is to say that i hold any level of disdain for you.

i only ask that you be gentle with me. what has been broken once can be broken again. please, do not let it come to that.

[hajihiko]

My friend Hajimmy Hinata birthday post🎆🎉

[motherearthsplantasia1976]

i think my icon is just gonna be a placeholder for now bcus i dont really care abt homestuck as much as i used to but :P

[the-moonlightwitch-official]

AINT NO PLACE LIKE "HOME" pt:5

summary: y/n l/n is a 18 year old girl that struggled in school a lot. It all started in kindergarten when her soul marks never appeared, becoming the class joke. But trust me, y/n’s life never got any easier when the marks did finally appear.

  WARNING: MINORS DNI 18+, student x teacher, mentions of burning, scars, bullying, polyamorous, yandere, yandere themes, kidnapping, murdering, nsfw, DELUSION, violence.

THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG.

Great, everyone believes you're dead now. The look of absolute dread on your face never went unnoticed by the trio. They don't care, the hard part is over with now. You look down at the chain wrapped around your ankles and grab the chain to play with it, while thinking about izuku and everything that happened at the hotel. It happened too fast, way too fast. They knew exactly where you were in a drop of a dime. But how? Is izuku ok? What about my mom? 

“Seems the hard part is over with now huh”? You keep your head down as a pair of bare feet come into view. You hold the chain tighter and run your thumb over it. “Aw not talking to your favorite person?” the words of the man going in one ear and out the other. Refusing to grace them with your eyes as you stared at the ground. They seemed bummed out that you didn't speak nor look at him. So he crouched down into your view and rested his arms on his knees. His long blond hair falling over his muscular shoulders as he leans towards you, his green irises peering at you through his glasses. It's Hizashi. 

You’ve never seen him in normal glasses before. He looks good, too good. You never noticed him without the apron either, he must’ve taken it off when you weren't paying attention. The half naked muscular man in tight pink boxers making you blush. You averted your eyes before he 

notices you looking too hard, can't let him have what he wants. 

He huffed and tilted his head. He raised a hand to caress your face and gently rub his thumb over your jawline. You closed your eyes as he admired you like a hungry and greedy man. He gripped your jaw and gently forced your head to look in his direction. “Look at me.”  you closed your eyes tighter and forced your head out of his hand. In return he rolled his eyes and spoke with patience.

“Everythings gonna be fine ok, we got this. You’ll be grateful soon enough. There's plenty of food to eat and room to run around in.” you opened your eyes and looked at him disgusted that he was talking to you like you were some animal in a cage. “Hey and maybe if you behave you can go outside. With supervision of course.” he smiled at you, the light practically beaming off of his perfect pearly whites. You felt a wave of emotions rising in you as you contemplated violently knocking his perfect teeth out of his mouth. You both turned your heads when a voice cut in. 

“have the cameras been set up yet”? Shota asks while walking past to make himself some coffee in the kitchen. All the violent thoughts in your head have been halted.

Jesus he’s fine as fuck. You watch as he walks past with pure lean muscle from head to toe, tight black boxers, and long black hair flowing with his movement, he looked almost like a god. Hizashi notices you watching sho as he walks past you guys all the way to the kitchen. 

 Hizashi smirks at you as he stands up and responds to him “not yet, but later today the team is gonna come back and finish up the work to set up the cameras and all that.” he said while walking towards shota who was pouring piping hot coffee into his favorite gray mug, that no one else is allowed to use. The steam rising from the mug looks hypnotizing as he pours it. He gently places the coffee pot back into its place, before taking a sip of the piping hot liquid. 

You can't seem to understand why he likes his coffee that way, hizashi can't either.  

No cream or sugar, just black coffee. That's how he liked it, simple. Toshi used to drink it like that as well, but ever since his incident with one for all leaving that wound, doctors advise him not to drink any heavily caffeinated drinks. If he wishes to enjoy a cup, it must be sparingly. 

You can’t help but stare mesmerized as your soon to be fiance shota leaned against the counter. Abs flexing as he crosses his muscular arms over his chest while holding the steaming cup of coffee. His hair is a long black mess falling over his shoulders. You honestly wouldn’t mind giving your virginity to him, especially when he looked like that under his clothes. you secretly favored him over the others. But you are upset with him for what he did to Izuku. Your attention was broken when Hizashi snapped his fingers and looked at shota with excitement. “Guess what?” shota looked up at him with tired dead eyes “what”. 

“ I know we were trying to be smart with our money considering the plan and all, but I did pay extra for extremely strong glass. Y’know for all the windows and mirrors, and even the glass doors, y’know for extra security.” He said as he walked to the kitchen window and knocked on it. “She ain’t gonna break this bad boy. Theyre gonna install all of it today.”  shota nodded impressed and responded after taking another sip. “Good purchase.”  

toshinori got up off of the couch and made his way over to you “where are we going to put her, while they’re here?” 

Hizashi looked over at the clock on the wall knowing they’re gonna be here in a couple of hours. “Shit your right.” he clicked his teeth with his tongue while thinking. “Well they pretty much finished installing her room yesterday, could put her up there, and you could keep her company while I work down here with the team.” hizashi said to toshi while looking up at you with his hands on his hips.

Toshi nodded in agreement. “Well I gotta get going, gotta work.” shota cut in while setting his finished coffee cup on the counter. He pecked hizashi and toshi on the lips as he disappeared upstairs.  Hizashi looked at toshi. “I gotta head to work after the team leaves, can you handle her?'' Toshi looks at you and smiles “of course, she's a good girl. Except for the fight from yesterday.'' Hizashi looked down at you remembering the fight. “Gonna have to work extra hard for my forgiveness, " he said while massaging the bruise on his calf. You looked up at him confused and disgusted. “What's that supposed to mean?” 

Hizashi smiled at you sweetly and seductively '' Anything you want it to mean sunshine. alright i'm gonna go put some clothes on”.  He said as he stood up straight and patted you on the head and disappeared up the same stairs as his husband. 

Toshi walked over to you bending down to start undoing your chains. “BEHAVE” he said as he stared into your soul. He wore a black shirt and gray sweatpants. Not as attractive as the others, also never thought he would wear that either.  He grabbed your arm and helped you up before gathering the chains and guiding you down a hallway and into your new room that's right beside his. 

So hizashi and sho’s rooms are upstairs. There's apparently a bunch of rooms with bathrooms but they chose your room to be one without one, since they would want you to use one of theirs with supervision. The bedroom was honestly beautiful. The bed, the lights, the curtains, the decor, you even have a tv. No wonder everyone leaves the decorating to hizashi. 

“Do you need to use the restroom?” he asked, looking down at you while holding your arm and tossing the chains onto the bed. “No”. It was a lie, and a big one. But you know that he would stand in there with you. “Alright then” he said as he picked you up and placed you on the bed. “What are you doing?” you asked as he started wrapping the chains around your ankles again. 

“What's necessary, especially after yesterday.” After he wrapped you up he grabbed the television remote and laid down next to you. “What do you wanna watch” you huffed and turned over. “Nothing.” toshinori rolled his eyes and turned on a sitcom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After half an hour you heard a couple of knocks on your door before it creaked open. Shota walked in dressed in his hero suit. He kissed toshi before walking to the other side of the bed to lean over you and peck your forehead with his lips. You pretended to be asleep. Sho knew that was bullshit. But he couldn't help but admire you as he ran his scared fingers through your hair. The memories of his horrific act with the clone, clouding his mind. Your “funeral” is also today. He’s gotta look nice at the funeral that's going to be broadcasted on national television. Toshi is supposed to be there, but he can't so sho will make an excuse for him.

 His mind raced with thoughts as he began to caress your face gently as if you were made of glass and would break. You're here, and you're safe, that's all that matters to him. He bent down one last time to peck your lips before heading off to work. His lips were warm and minty. He must have put on some chapstick. It sadly made you crave more. Without thinking you chased his lips when he pulled away. He looked down at you surprised before dipping back down. He connected his lips with yours again. You were shocked that you did that. But his lips feel good. It felt like a comfort you never knew you needed. He pulled away and smiled at you. “I gotta head out, ok?” he said. You looked away ashamed of what you did. He waved at toshi before walking out. 

You stared at the ceiling as you heard him walking through the house and out of the front door.  Hearing his car drive off before deciding to  look over at toshi who had his reading glasses on while playing a crossword puzzle out of a book. Good lord. You heard more knocking on the door and looked over, and in came the boisterous blond. He was wearing a white shirt and black sweatpants as well with his Long blond hair in a bun.  He smiled brightly at you and toshi. “Doesn’t this room look beautiful? I had it done specifically to your preferences sweetheart.”

 you looked confused then scanned the room. He was right, your favorite colors and animals and posters. Everything down to a T, and you never noticed. But how could he know? He never saw your room….right?

Little did you know that his obsession with you is stronger than the other two’s. It got so bad that he was getting up in the middle of the night, and sneaking out of the house without waking his husband to go to your home and sneak into your window undetected to watch you sleep. There's been many nights where he slept in the same room with you without you knowing. 

Even went as far as to unbuckling his belt and pulling down his pants, watching as his rock hard length sprung into the cool air with a red hot tip dribbling pre cum. He rubbed one out as he stood at the foot of your bed. 

He even used your lotion. Precum flying everywhere as he thrusted into his fist roughly at the end of your bed. Loud slick sounds bounced off the walls as he picked up the pace and tightened his fist. He picked up a pair of used panties off the floor to catch his cum as it spurted out. He breathed heavily as he looked up at you after cumming. Smiling like a dork. Thinking to himself that he wishes that you could watch him do that. He has a kink for his partners watching him touch himself. If only you could see how big and long he was, how he could satisfy you and hit every spot inside of you, making you scream, as your ass bounced off his dick. 

But that information stays with him until the day he dies. But just know that he definitely has seen your room more than enough times. “It's awesome right?” he said looking at you expectantly. You looked around trying not to get creeped out. “Sure” he frowned at the simple, small uninterested answer. Before he could say anything else. You all heard loud car door slams outside. Not like you could look outside your window since you're chained to your bed. Toshinori sat up and Hizashi walked over to the window. 

“Great they’re here”! He says spinning around and walking out of the room. 

The next couple of hours were filled with loud footsteps, loud bangs, and thuds, the sounds of hammers and drills as they install cameras and decor to hizashi’s liking. The blond's loud voice constantly booming around the house with “NOT THERE” and “PUT IT HERE” and “HEY BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE, THEY WERE MY MOTHERS.” 

You looked up as a couple of men entered your room to install a camera in the corner of your ceiling. Hizashi entered the doorway and met toshinoris glare. “Sorry I forgot about a camera needing to be in this room too.” Hizashi said while he shrugged at toshi. You looked up at the man on the ladder, and the men surrounding him. They were all purposefully not looking at you. Like they felt pity for you. No...almost like they were scared to look in your direction. Almost like if they even dared to view you, they would meet their fate. Hizashi is their fate. He's the most obsessive and predatory person you have ever met. 

“All right, great work boys.” he said as they wrapped up everything and started heading out of your room. One stayed behind. “Looks like we did everything, it all looks pretty good, and the cameras were installed perfectly. If you have any questions or need anything else, please call me.” Hizashi nodded at him with respect and handed him a $100 tip, and with that all the men gathered their belongings and left the home. 

You looked up at the camera pointing right at you in the corner of your room. “Check this out toshi, we can download an app that controls the cameras.” Hizashi  said as he used his phone to move the camera every which way. Great definitely no privacy. He walked over to toshi to help him download the app. Once they got all that situated. Hizashi left to get ready for work. Toshi thanked god that it was his day off because then you would be left home alone. What could be better than Toshi's company? He thought to himself. 

Hizashi came back into the room smiling in his hero suit. “All right my doves, I must be off.” he said as he kissed Toshi on the lips and rounded the bed to kiss you. He tried to kiss your lips but you dodged it. He didn't give up though, you kept moving your head around to dodge the kisses and eventually he got tired of it and grabbed your face and forced your lips onto his. “See it wasnt that hard huh?” he said, chuckling to himself. He stood up straight and fixed his jacket. “All right, I'm going to work, I'll be back later. If you need anything toshi im one call away.” Toshi nodded at him and wished him well. 

The day carried on with you laying in bed and toshinori doing paperwork with reading glasses next to you in bed. He occasionally thought about izuku. How disappointed in him he is for kidnapping you and scaring you. (still delusional i see). He thought about how he is going to deal with him. No better way than to threaten him. You thought about izuku as well. How is he doing? 

You decided to change the channel and forget your worries. Until the news channel came on and it's a funeral. You thought nothing of it until the person in the casket looked familiar… is that…you? It's a funeral. For you. Toshinori looked up from his puzzle to see what the commotion was. His eyes widened. Shit… he forgot about that happening today. 

Aizawa was there looking down with everyone else as they prayed over your casket. Your mother was there beside him “sobbing”. She didn't seem too upset. Maybe she knows you're still alive. Hope filled your body. Maybe you can be saved. The funeral wasn’t too long. Your casket was lowered into the ground and everyone was interviewed, paying their respects. Including your mother. Aizawas' interview was just a bunch of “you cant save everyone” bullshit. Great now everyone DEFINITELY believes that you're dead.

They wasted no time getting the ball rolling for everything. It hasn't even been a day yet and your funeral is already happening.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hizashi had no problem covering for his husband's class while he was attending your “funeral”. It wasn’t for too long since the funeral was set to start a couple of hours before class starts. Shota was only 10 minutes late to class today. Nothing major. Once he returned Hizashi told him how good and quiet the kids were today before heading to his own class. 

Shota seemed to be treating Midoriya differently today. He seems to drop everything he hands izuku onto the ground before izuku could grab it, Almost like shota is dropping it on purpose. He hands out classwork to everyone but izuku. He huffs in annoyance when izuku raises his hand. Izuku’s terrified of his teacher because of the past event that happened, but he must be brave. “Yes midoriya?” he says in a low sinister tone. Izuku gulps. “You didn't hand me one sir.” shota rolls his eyes before saying “oh you mean one of these?” while lifting up a sheet of classwork. GULP ``yes sir” he smirks. “Come get one then.'' Izuku stood up slowly and made his way to his teacher's desk. It felt like centuries as Aizawa stared at him. He stopped at the foot of his desk and looked down at the sheet of paper sitting next to his teacher's laptop. Shota noticed his hesitancy. 

 In a low predatory tone he spoke. “Go on, take it.” izuku closed his eyes and gulped before slowly reaching his shaky hand to grab the paper. “I'm not gonna bite.” Once izuku’s hand touched the paper, shota jumped and growled loudly at him just like a dog attack. Izuku snatched his hand back to himself and stumbled over himself. He looked horrified at Aizawa as he laughed like it was the funniest thing he has ever done. He's never seen his teacher laugh so hard or even smile in that matter. Izuku’s heart is beating out of his chest. Shota stands up and wipes a tear from his own eye.

 “Oh you know I'm just joking around with ya kid. You should have seen your face.” he says as he hands him the sheet of paper. Izuku just stares at him. “Well go on, take it.” shota insists. He snatches the paper quickly out of his teachers hand as if he’ll rip his arm off. Shota’s face drops back into a dead look before leaning over in his face and saying in a chilling tone. “Now go sit the fuck down.” 

Izuku scrambled back to his desk while the class laughed at him. He couldn't focus on his work after that. Shota noticed. “Midoryia, you better focus, I would hate to have to take you out of the hero course.” izuku looked up and saw shota staring at him through his long back hair. “Yes sir.” 

Hizashi treated midoriya no differently than shota. Constantly “forgetting” about him, and torturing him. Giving him more homework than the rest of the class. Izuku regretted getting involved with your scary situation. But you're his best friend, how could he not? You're gone now and there's nothing he can do. He saw the news. You were found dead in that very hotel room, and had a funeral later as well. It doesn't make sense. Not for someone who was there. He saw you being escorted out. How could you end up back in the same room dead. He doesn't believe what everyone was fooled by. You're not dead. He knows it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tea”? Toshinori shouted from the kitchen. “Sure” you said looking dead at the living room television as some random rom com played. He was nice enough to let you out of your chains earlier since you asked nicely and promised to be good. How far could you possibly get? This place is basically locked down to the highest levels possible. The locks are apparently top notch along with the glass windows and doors, and there are hella cameras. Your ass aint getting anywhere without anyone knowing. Hell, just moving an inch would have the cameras notifying them. 

They were even nice enough to inject a small quirk canceling thing in your arm while you were asleep. Definitely an illegal thing. They got it off the street from a guy who also laced it so you couldn't feel it. You can thank Toshinori for that idea since he used to do drugs when he was at his lowest, fucking all those women looking for his soulmate (aka you). The only reason you know about the thing in your arm is because toshi slipped up  when he was mumbling about protecting you when he thought you were asleep. 

“I need to use the bathroom.” you mumbled as toshi walked over to you carefully with a hot cup of tea, setting it down in front of you. He stood back up and nervously wiped his hands on his pants and looked around. “Uh sure, of course.” you stood up and looked at him. “Oh, uh, it's upstairs and it's the first door on the left. Do you want me to come with”? You shook your head. “I can manage, i mean how far can i get in this house?” you laughed in defeat. Apparently he didn't find that funny. He watched as you made your way up to the bathroom. You closed the door and scrambled to the toilet to pee immediately. You’ve been holding it since this morning. Luckily toshi trusted you enough to take the chains off your feet and let you roam around. Almost time for the other two to start heading home if they don't have other plans. After wiping you stood up and pulled your pants up. You washed your hands with the wonderfully scented soap that hizashi picked out.

 You sighed as you looked at yourself in the mirror. God you look like shit. You bent down and splashed your face with ice cold water for almost a solid minute as if you're trying to wake yourself up from this dream. Not working. You shut off the water and walked over to the towels and dried your face off. You thought about everything and took a deep breath and put your back against the wall and slid down to the floor. You slumped over on the floor wishing death upon yourself. Looking straight ahead you notice the sink cabinets. Wonder what’s under there. You get up on your knees and crawl over and open it, of course you expected back up bathroom necessities, and it was. But you notice something all the way in the back. A singular bobby pin. An idea slams your brain. The locks around the house may be top notch, but you're sure it's nothing a bobby pin cant take care of. 

You quickly move everything and grab the bobby pin. You sit back and hold the bobby pin in between your palms as you pray to the heavens that your idea works. Hope finds its way into your heart. But all of that was interrupted by knocking on the door. You scrambled to close the cabinet and stand up shoving the bobby pin into your sock. “Hey, are you alright, you’ve been in there for a while.” 

“Yeah im fine.” you say with your heart beating out of your chest. You stumble back as he unlocked the door with ease and came in. “sorry just had to make sure you were ok.” he walked into the bathroom and scanned it and scanned you. Looks fine to him. “Let's go play a board game, yeah”? You nodded and followed him to the dining room table as he grabbed a board game from a large cabinet. “Let's play candyland.” he said as he smiled at you bringing it over to set it on the table. Candyland, your childhood game. How the fuck do these creeps know everything about you. “Have you played this before”? He asked as he unpacked it. Oh as if he doesn’t fucking know. 

You rolled your eyes. “Can I get a snack out of the fridge”? He looked up and over to the kitchen. “Sure” he didn't worry since he could see everything going on in the kitchen from where he sat. you stood up and went to the fridge pretending to pick something out. The fridge and kitchen was loaded with snacks and foods that you liked. The only reason they would know is from the worksheets they hand us in the beginning of the year to write things down about ourselves and the snacks, foods, hobbies, music, and colors that we like. 

You walked over to the cabinet close to a small stairway that led to a hallway with a glassdoor. One that led to the outside world. You looked over to toshi to see his nose deep in the board game instructions. You looked around the kitchen with something to hit him with. There's no knives. They hid them all. Fuck. But there's a cutting board. It was a fancy glass one, it was fucking heavy. You quietly grab it and put it behind your back and make your way over to toshi. He never noticed you walking over, raising a cutting board over your head in a deadly manner. 

He started mumbling to himself, confused on the instructions “Wait, if this goes here, then this must go-”  WHAM 

He was out like a light. His blond head slamming against the table. Silence filled the room as he slumped over. You stared at him terrified that you actually did that before the adrenaline kicked in and you were running like a bat out of hell towards the back door. Regret fills you as you approach the clear glass door and notice how gray and foggy it is outside from all of the heavy rain, how could you even see? Why now of all times? It's too late now. It’s now or never. You scrambled to get the pin out from your sock, you were shaking so bad that you dropped it a few times, before finally getting it into the door, after constantly looking behind you. “CLICK” oh my god. You did it. It's unlocked. So much for “MAXIMUM security locks”. You grabbed the door knob and swung the door open, and there it is, that beautiful view you were dying to see. The outside world. After looking over your shoulder just one more time, you booked it out of the house. You could see it, smell it, and taste it. Freedom. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School let out and shota decided to stay and take over for the detention teacher since they had a personal emergency, and hizashi decided to go over to your mothers house and share his condolences for your death. He hopped into the car throwing his bags into the back seat and took his jacket, speaker, headphones and shades off. Tossing them in the passenger seat beside him. He grabbed a comb from out of the glove department and combed his hair down and put it in a bun. He opened the department to put the brush back and grabbed a pair of his normal glasses and put them on. He looked in the rearview mirror at his face to see if he looked good. Even checking his pearly white teeth. “Alright” he said as he put the keys in the ignition and started the car. “Let's get this ball rolling.” he said as he began to drive out of there. 

Hizashi decided to hit up a flower shop on the ride there. Once he got the flowers, he was on his way to your moms. The car ride there was almost unbearable, the traffic was awful and he almost got T-boned 12 times by fucking idiots who apparently are color blind to traffic lights. But alas, he made it. He slowly pulled up to your house and turned the car off. Deciding to look into the mirror one last time before taking a deep breath and getting out. He closed the car door and made his way up your porch. He took a deep breath as he rang the doorbell. Sounds of a small dog barking and a woman telling it to hush, can be heard on the other side of the door. The sound of a lock can be heard before the door opens. “Oh hello there.” your mother says with a bright smile. Hizashi nodded “hello ms. L/n, do you mind if i come in”? She looked him up and down in a seductive way before answering. “Why sure.” he was absolutely disgusted. Her daughter just “died” and this is how she acts?  

Hizashi kept his smile as he entered the home and looked around as your mother shut the door behind him. “Are those for me”? She asked sweetly. Hizashi nods and hands her the flowers. “Oh I gotta find a pretty vase for these.” she sings as she walks to the kitchen. “Oh I almost forgot, how rude of me. Would you like any Tea, water, juice, or coffee”? She asked while scurrying past him to pull out a chair from the table for him to sit. He waved his hand with dismissal while sitting down in the seat she offered. “No thank you, I appreciate it though”.

He smiled at her.

 “Ok then, what brings your handsome self here”? She says as she fills a vase with water and places the flowers inside. He visibly cringes with the language. “I just thought that I should come by and give you my condolences about what happened with y/n”. He says as he fakes a look of concern and sadness on his face. 

She looks down and chuckles a bit. “Oh, that's all”? Setting the flowers aside.

Hizashi looks confused. “She’s not all that special to me mr. Yamada.” Your mom looks straight ahead out the window above the sink into the back yard to look at the swingset that you used to play on when you were a kid. 

“Yes, she was my child. But she was nothing but a financial problem for me and my boyfriends that i dated. They wanted her gone. But I kept her since she had a chance of becoming a hero and being famous, so I would be able to use her for my own wealth. I mean this swingset I bought for her put me into debt.” She says as she gestures her hand towards the swingset outside of the window. 

Hizashi’s eyes widened. What. the. Actual. Fuck. And he thought HE was sick in the head. Get a load of this bitch. He’s stunned. This was never the reaction he thought he would get. This is a joke right? 

“I'm sorry”? He says as he stands up. “You heard me. I'm free now. No more having to pay for an ungrateful little bitch, no more forcing her into the hero course, and no more stress of trying to figure out what to do with her since all of my past  boyfriends don't seem like her. I can now erase her as if I never had a child, and I would have better luck with relationships” She turned and smiled at Hizashi but her smile faltered a little bit before saying, “but my chance of wealth is out of the picture now that she’s gone.” 

“Is that all you're worried about”? Hizashi says in all seriousness and rage. Damn he  never thought your mom would say such things about you. “At the moment, yes. Besides, now that she’s gone I can finally shoot my shot with you. I have always had a thing for you, But dating my daughter's teacher would be odd, but she's gone now, and you're definitely my type.” she says as she walks over with a seductive smirk. 

He takes a few steps back. “You choose men over your own child and teachers are where you draw the line”? She reaches the table that he stood at and leans on it. “What's the matter, I've always noticed the way you look at me, your partner with the dark hair as well, maybe we can run a train. You should call him since you're already here” she says as she gestures her head behind her towards her bedroom. Hizashi looks past her shoulder and sees she's gesturing to her room. 

He visibly cringes trying not to vomit from pure disgust. It takes everything in him not to tell her that he’s definitely into her daughter instead of her. Rage fills his body. “How the fuck could you say something like that.” His heart hurts for you. Thank the Gods that he kidnapped you, he practically saved you and he can tell you had no idea that your mother held this secret of rage and hatred. His soul hurt. Memories of him attending crime scenes where the child met a terrible fate because the mothers chose the man over them, begins to flood in and haunt him where he stands. He wishes nothing but the worst for those types of mothers. Little did he know that your mother was one of them. 

She looks at him confused seeing that he hurts for you. “What? You want her over me? Oh my god of course you do, she’s always been prettier than me.'' She throws her hands up in defeat and walks towards him shoving a finger to his chest. “Fine, if thats how you want  to be then get the fuck out of my house. NOW!” he stares down at her with anger and a lone tear falling down his face. He contemplates his next move. 

This is all happening so fast and unexpected. Does he beat her until she’s unrecognizable? Does he start recording and show the police and frame her for the death of her daughter? The second option sounds like a wonderful plan honestly. His fists clenched up. She huffed and turned around to walk away. He raises his fist but logic struck him before he could hit her. He quickly straightened himself up and walked out of the home. He walked to his car as he wiped his tears. Leaving the house with her still alive in it, took a lot of strength not to kill her. He looked in the rearview mirror and checked his face, wiping any excess tears. He straightened his glasses and started the car, backing out of the driveway. She's not getting away with this alive. Hizashi wont allow it. He can't hurt her unfortunately because It'll cost him his career. But he'll find a way.  If she wont show you the love appreciation that you deserve then he will, and so will sho and toshi. 

He called toshinori who wasn’t picking up and decided to call shota instead. He was so angry and upset he didn't even bother checking the cameras when Toshi didn't answer. Little did he know that he should have. 

With a couple of rings shota picks up. Without wasting time he speaks “sho i'm going to take a street parole shift for tonight.” he waits for shota to answer. “Why?'' Hizashi thinks about everything and huffs. “Someone called off and there isn’t anyone to take over, so I decided to.” he lied. “Ok then, i’ll see you late tonight then?'' Hizashi nods. “Yes.” 

“Ok is there anything else you called me for?” Hizashi hovers his finger over the end call button on his steering wheel before saying “no, I just wanted to inform you of that. I love you goodbye.” then clicked the button, ending the call. He’s working tonight because he can't go home and have you see him like this. He wanted to spend tonight with you especially after what just happened. So he’ll just have to make it up to you tomorrow and stay home from work. 

 He began grabbing all of his outfit accessories from the passenger seat and put them on as he drove to the hero agency where he would be spending the rest of his day.

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The air was freezing as it hit your face along with sprinkles of rain that were getting heavier by the minute. You can't breathe anymore from how long and fast you’ve been running, even stepping on a few spikey seed pods on the ground with your bare feet, but you never stopped running. You can't feel your legs anymore. Your Lungs are cold and heavy in your chest. You must keep going. Wait, I found it. The gate at the end of the driveway. You started to slow down as you approached it. You looked frantically behind you as you came to a stop in front of it. You would never know if he followed you out here, since the fog is too heavy to see through. 

The humidity does nothing to aid your breathing, as the rain picks up. Turning around you begin to scan your surroundings as the rain begins to violently soak everything around. Your hair and clothes are now soaking wet and heavy. 

The bars are too close together, and you can't climb them since they were built to be sharp at the top. The walls were made of bricks with barbed wire at the top. Fuck. You look over and see a “private property” and “smile for the camera” sign on the side of the gate. Looking above the signs you see a giant camera facing you. There must be cameras on both sides. Your brows knit in anger as you lift your middle finger to the camera. 

Trying but getting stuck when you try to squeeze through the bars. Anger taking over as you used whatever strength you had to get yourself unstuck, ultimately flying and landing in a huge puddle of rainwater. You stared at the gray sky that sported a huge flash of lightning, and a few moments later the loudest sound of thunder you have ever heard in your life. You couldn’t help but sob. “Please, just please.” you prayed and spoke to whoever was listening. Taking a deep breath, you got up and looked over at a tree that was super close to the wall. Perfect. You ran over to the tree and began climbing it. Thank God for your tree climbing skills that you got when you were a kid. You got to the top and crawled along a branch that would take you to the other side. Almost there. “BAM” 

Everything around you shook. The branch bounced and caused you to fall, almost face planting into the barbed wire. Your body slammed into a large puddle on the ground. You were covered from head to toe in mud. There's no time to waste, you thought to yourself as you scrambled to stand up. You thought nothing of the large sound that happened, thinking that it was just thunder. You turned around and your heart stopped beating. Toshinori stood there in his might form, staring down at you. Looking up in fear, you backed up as his hulking form loomed over you.

 The shadows covering his eyes perfectly made him look more frightening. He breathed deep and heavy with anger as the rain bounces off of his huge form. Neon blue irises peered at you through the shadows around his eyes, making you realize that the sound that you thought was thunder was actually him hitting the ground from out of the sky. Looking down you noticed the mud scattered everywhere and a huge divot in the ground under his feet from the impact. 

You stumble backwards from the large man. Only causing him to take a step forward for every step that you took back. The ground vibrates under you with every step that you take. Eventually backing up into the brick wall with nowhere to go. He is towered over you, seething. The only thing that you can do now is beg. “P-please, im sorry, i-i-i did not mean t-to hurt you.” great now you're stuttering.  You raise your hands up in defense. “You know I wouldn't mean to hurt you. Please. I have to go home, i-i miss my mom, and my life, i h-have to go home please. Please.” you stuttered and begged through your sobs. 

The begs of mercy and pleas fell upon deaf ears. Almost like they were bouncing off of a wall as he just stood there staring at you, not making a single sound. Nothing worse than the silence. Nothing can be heard but the pitter patter sounds of rain hitting every surface around the both of you and the occasional sound of thunder. He reaches forward and you shriek. Dodging his grip and running for your life. You knew your fate was sealed as the ground below you failed  you with slippery mud. Slipping and falling on your ass multiple times didn't stop you from getting up to run. He wasn’t running, he was walking slowly towards your small frail frame as you ran like your life depended on it. He walked like a killer from a movie. Slow and taunting like. 

You slipped one last time. And he caught up to you. A shriek pierced the air as he grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled you to your feet from the roots of your head. He got a mere inch from your face and stared into your soul. He was so close that you could feel the air from his nostrils on your face. You couldn’t help but sob and bring your arms above your head to try to pry his large hand off of your scalp, only causing more pain for yourself. His voice causes you to freeze. “You have disappointed me y/n l/n”. His voice was terrifyingly calm. Without a second longer he threw you into the air and caught you before jumping off of the ground and using the force of his strength to fly into the air towards the house. A loud scream of “NO” erupted from you as he jumped off the ground. 

This was horrifying. You were already scared of heights and you could see the earth below you as you flew 3000 ft into the air. So that's how he got to where you were. He flew. But how did he know exactly where you were in the huge messy forest surrounding the driveway. You missed the cameras that were planted all over the forest that were facing right at you, pinpointing every location you were. The landing felt like it could have killed you with the force of impact. He straightened his body after landing and walked to the back of the house where the glass door that you ran through. He walked carefully through the door to make sure that he can fit through it without having to drop you or change his size. He was successful. You watched as your freedom slipped away from your fingers like sand as he closed the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost 7pm and shota began packing up everything. The kids were dismissed hours ago, but he needed to finish leftover work that hasn't been done since the incident of you being ‘kidnapped’ by izuku. Man, he's hungry. Should he pick something up to bring home? Nah cooking sounds good, even though he's absolutely exhausted. He hasn’t had homemade meals in a while other than this morning. Too much takeout lately. He smirked at the thought of you watching him while he's in the kitchen with an apron on. He noticed the way you looked at him this morning when he was wearing nothing but boxers. 

He held onto that thought as he exited the building with his bag, only to stop as he saw the heavy rain pouring. Yeesh he shouldn’t have parked so far away. He raised his bag over his head to protect him from the rain as he jogged to his car. He quickly unlocked his car and jumped in as he tossed his bag to the passenger seat. Shota took a deep breath as he watched the unbearably heavy rain bounce off of his windshield. Jeez. He took his phone out to shoot a text to toshi that he's on his way home now. Toshi replied quickly with a thumbs up. Shota was satisfied with Toshi's answer and put the phone down before starting the car and turning the windshield wipers on at the highest level, before driving off. 

The drive home sucked. The amount of times that idiots almost hit him from every angle is horrendous. Something about the rain makes people drive like fucking morons. He pulled up to the gates and showed the camera his face and it unlocked the gates for him. He takes a deep breath as the gates slowly open, hoping he doesn't come home to any surprises because you misbehaved in any way shape or form. He presses on the gas and makes his way down the driveway. After about 5 minutes the house comes into view. “Hmm, not burned down. That's a good sign.” He reaches the house and stops the car. He turns the car off and takes the keys out of the ignition. Reaching over he grabs his bag to hover over his head again as he exits the vehicle in the pouring rain. He reaches the door and unlocks all 3 locks and types in a passcode before being let in. 

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You were terrified as you laid strapped down and chained to your bed. Toshinori is lying beside you watching tv with his fingers intertwined on his chest. Giving you the occasional glare. He was disappointed that it got to the point where he had to break out the straps and make you completely immobile. You know something is waiting for you. You both perk up when you both hear the sound of the front door being opened. Your heart beats heavier than before. “Shota’s home.” toshinori said as he got up and walked out, leaving you alone in the room. No no no no what's going to happen to me? 

After what seemed like half an hour, the door opened and Shota stepped in, and shut the door calmly. He slowly stalked towards your bed, and stood at the end of it. Putting both of his hands on the bed frame and leaning on it towards you. His raven hair falling over his shoulders as he glared at you. Eyes glowing just slightly red. You can tell that he’s had a rough day. This cannot be good. Panic rose in your soul as you tried to find the right words to plead. You were about to open your mouth but quickly zipped it when he noticed words were about to come out of your mouth and gripped the bed frame even harder causing it to creak in protest and crack open. Long cracks shooting across the frame. His eyes are getting redder and redder. He looked up and took a deep breath before calmly taking his hands off of the frame and standing up straight. 

Shota looked down at your ankles. Gently guiding his hand to ghost over your feet.

 “I was hoping that you would behave tonight. Now it looks like toshi is going to make dinner while I keep you company”. He ran his index finger along the bottom of your foot, tickling you, causing your foot to jerk. He quickly grabbed it harshly and yanked it to him. He stared into your soul menacingly as his rough, scarred hands held your foot in an iron clasp grip. “Please i-” 

His raven hair started to float when more noise left your mouth, causing you to quickly shut it. 

He sighed heavily before speaking in a low unnerving tone. 

“I don't want to do this, but I'm left with no choice. I can't let you off scott free with just a few ‘im sorrys’. You won't learn anything.” He squeezed your foot even harder, to the point of snapping it in half. “Your actions have consequences. And hopefully this lesson will stick in that fucking head of yours.” He then grabbed the second ankle and looked you dead in the eyes before gripping them both tightly with the strength only a god could have before snapping both of your ankles in different directions causing horrendous damage to your bones. White hot pain shot through your ankles and legs. Your blood curdling screams fell of deaf ears as he dropped your ankles back onto the bed like they were nothing. The weight of them slamming back onto the bed causes you to scream louder.

Shota stalked over to you and tilted his head as he watched you sob with snot and drool running down your face. He reached down and gripped a handful of hair in his hand as he lifted your head roughly. “Look” you refused to open your eyes. “I SAID LOOK” the fear overtaking whatever was left of your body and to your dismay, you opened your eyes. He was showing you the work he was proud of. Horror filled your entire body as he spoke. “Look at that, can't go anywhere now huh”? Your face going pale as you stared down at your twisted fuck up ankles beyond repair. He slammed your head back down to the bed and got close to your ear so there was no way you couldn’t hear him. “Hopefully THIS” he says as he shakes your limp ankle causing you to wince in pure agony. “Will be a lesson that sticks, Because this is only a mere warning.” 

You began to sob but he gripped your hair even tighter and shook your head. “Next time you wont have any fucking feet, and thats only if i feel generous enough to let you keep your whole legs.” He dropped your head and stood up straight. “Your grounded, no tv, tablet, board games, or whatever the fuck you do in your free time. Your going to be in this bed and never fucking leave it, not like you can anyway.” he chuckled to himself. He began to walk out before turning back to you. “No privacy either, this door stays open and if I catch it closed I'm going to take it off of its hinges, no bathroom time by yourself either, and no dinner.” he said as he walked out of the door to leave you in a sobbing broken mess on your own bed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man, it's soaking out here. Mic thought to himself as he patrolled the empty dark streets. The occasional grocery bag skidding across the pavement from the wind. He honestly wishes something would happen, time is moving way too slow for his liking. He can't help but think about your mother and what a vile human being she is. Then he thinks about you. He hopes everything is going ok at home. He fights the urge to call shota so check up on you, he's not supposed to be caught on his phone during patrols. His hair is soaking wet and has fallen flat a few hours ago when the rain was at its peak. It’ll be weird seeing THE present mic all dressed up but with his hair down and soaked. 

Jeez can something happen please. He was bored out of his mind and he couldn’t take his mind off of your mothers words about you. A scream from the distance halted his thoughts. He perked up and ran immediately to the sound. It's coming from an alleyway. Typical. He walked into the alleyway still bored out of his mind, thinking that this is some cliche everyday robber. “Hey buddy why don't you put the purse down and maybe i’ll le-” mic freezes as the criminal turns his head and peers at him. It's the serial killer that nobody can seem to catch. The very one that kidnaps people and leaves the corpses in america. That same killer that his husband and fiance framed for the “death” of their darling in that hotel room. His face goes pale. 

Before mic can say anything the killer drops what he was doing and lunges forward, knocking mic onto his ass. Mic got up and landed a few blows before picking him up and swinging him around and slamming him to the alleyway walls. He held onto the killer's shirt as he continually punched him knocking a few teeth loose. He slammed his head into the wall and held it there as he twisted his arm behind his back and got close to his ear. “It’s over buddy, you’ve been caught. Do you feel guilty? All of those lives you took?” he asks as he took restraints out of his pocket and detained him, throwing him to the ground. 

The killer spit up some blood before answering with a big smile that was missing some teeth. “No, never.” mic rolled his eyes while he kept an eye on him and took his phone out ready to dial the police and turn him in. As he was dialing the man spoke up. “Hey hey hey, no need for that man. I can do whatever you want or KILL whoever you want.” mic froze and looked up at him. Ideas coming into mind. The killer noticed the look on mics face.

 “Yeah, I can tell you have someone in mind, come on, who is it? All you gotta do is give me a name.” Mic shook his head and put his thumb over the call button, But for some reason he couldn’t press it. 

Mike's head was racing. It all halted when the killer interrupted. “Look, you obviously want someone dead mr “hero”. So I'll make a deal, yeah? I’ll wipe out whoever you want and you will let me go, almost like we never crossed paths, yeah”? He tilted his head and looked up at mic. Who was seriously considering it. The killer almost scoffs at how easy it is to manipulate mic.  

“Well?” He tilts his head and looks at him expectantly. Mic completely caved. “I want you to murder this woman named (mothers name) that lives on (address).” The restrained man looks up and smiles. Bingo. “How do you want it done”? He asked. Mic began to smile like a maniac. “I want it to be the most brutal work you’ve ever done.” He laughed and smiled to the point where the killer himself got a little creeped out. He must be losing his mind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mic sits and waits in his car at the end of your mothers driveway. He stares at his steering wheel. He went through with it, he a “HERO” actually negotiated with a serial killer. It must be done. He thinks to himself. Full on delusion taking over. 

He took the restraints off of the killer and negotiated with him. Setting a due date for TONIGHT. No other time or day. Their plan was to let him go to do what needs to be done, and then mic will follow and make sure that the person is actually dead before “officially” setting him free. Mic laughed to himself in the car. God that killer is gullible. He doesn’t actually think mic is gonna let him go does he? His thoughts were interrupted by faint screams. He looks up and can see shadows moving violently behind the window blinds. 

Anxiety rises in mic and he begins to look around. Eventually the screams stop, and he steps out of the car making sure no one sees him or is outside. 

He straightens himself up and walks over to the front door before opening it. He looks over his shoulder once more before closing the door behind him. Damn this house is a mess. There's blood everywhere. Eventually he reaches her corpse. Yep, definitely dead. He looks over and sees the man sitting at the table drinking sparkling water. 

“Alright, you’ve seen her. She's dead. We’re good”? Mic nods his head and squats down to look closer at your mother. “Well I'm off then, it was good knowing ya.” the man gets up from the table and walks over to the door and stops. There was a coat rack. It's raining outside so might as well grab one. He begins sifting through all the coats to pick one out. Unaware that mic is creeping up on him. The man sees a shadow and turns around only to be struck on the head and knocked out. 

He wakes up in a moving car. He tries to move but can't. Hes tied to the car seat. “HEY” he looks over and sees mic. “We had a deal, remember.” Mic looked over at him and laughed. In a spine tingling tone he answered. “You don't actually think i was gonna let you go, do you”? He said as he pulled into the police station. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shota and toshi eat peacefully at the table as you yell from upstairs. “You didn't give her pain meds?” toshi asked his fiance while chewing food. Shota scraped his fork on the plate a few times. “Nah, she needs to think about what she’s done.” he answered as he shoveled food onto his fork and ate it. He noticed the uncomfortable look on Toshi's face and looked up at the bandage on his head and pointed with his fork while chewing. “She needs to learn toshi, look at what she did to you.” 

Toshi listened to what shota said and he reached a hand up to feel the bandage on his head from being hit earlier. He then remembered the event and agreed with his fiance. So then they continued to eat peacefully as you wailed throughout the house. 

As dinner was almost over they heard the locks on the door shifting and eventually a tired worn out mic came through the door. Shota put his fork down and stood up and so did toshi. “Hey” shota said as he walked over to hizashi. “You alright, how was your day?” mic looked at him and smiled. “It was good, it was good,” he said, waving off the two. 

Toshi kissed zashi after shota said his greetings. “Come eat with us, I made dinner.” toshi said, gesturing to the dinner table. Mic shook his head. “Nah, I gotta go see y/n, I haven't seen her all day.” 

Shota looked over at toshi and gestured to him to go sit back down. Shota then grabbed hizashi’s wrist as he was trying to go see you. “Come eat.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was peaceful. The food was delicious, and the conversations were fun. Just what mic needed after today. You haven’t wailed in an hour. They think you must have fallen asleep. Good, because shota is silently trying to find a way to break the news to his husband about what he did to you. Hizashi has always been the most emotional of the trio. All he could talk about was you at the table, things like “how is she, did she eat anything today, did she behave” shota and toshi just nodded and laughed along with zashi.

 “Did she not come to eat?” zashi asked while chewing. 

Sho and toshi looked at each other for a second before looking at zashi. “No she didnt” zashi looked confused. “Well why not, should I check on her?” he asked as he quickly put his fork down and began to stand up. Shota lunged forward quickly and grabbed his husband, sitting him back down. “ you haven’t finished your food baby”. Zashi looked at him confused. “I don't like this, shota what's going on?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“YOU WHAT?!” 

You woke up from the sudden scream and lifted your head as you heard running up the stairs. HIzashi came running into your room and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you laying there with twisted, swollen ankles. Snot dried on your face, puffy red eyes, and messy hair. 

He was mortified. He looked back down at your feet. He’s no doctor but he's pretty sure they aren't supposed to bend that way. Shota and toshi come trailing behind him. You looked at them with tears in your eyes. Your head was pounding and your throat was sore from the wailing. 

Hizashi turned towards the men. “How could you?” shota rolled his eyes. “It needed to be done, I already told you what she did. You can't keep being soft on her, that's how shit like this happens. Look at what she did to toshi” he said, pointing to the bandage on his head. 

 Hizashi walked over to you and brushed the hair out of your face and coddled you. Shota scoffed at his husband's reaction. “If you had just listened to me” , Hizashi looked up in rage. “Get out.” toshi then cut in between the two. “Look I understand-” Hizashi jumped up. “I SAID GET OUT!” toshi stopped and put his hands up and walked out leaving shota still in the room. “You too.” hizashi pointed at him with hurt in his expression. “Hiz-” “NOW” shota was stunned but complied and walked out leaving hizashi with you. 

“Its ok, everythings gonna be ok” he said as he slowly began losing his mind. He brushed the hair out of your face and ran to get pain meds and water. Completely avoiding shota as he followed him around the house trying to lecture him about just leaving you alone and that you need to suffer to learn. Hizashi completely ignored him. He grabbed a pair of clothes to change into and other necessities, including a plate of food to feed you. 

Hizashi slammed your door in shota’s face and ran over to you. “Here take these”. He said as he gave you pain meds and water. “This is gonna hurt ok”? He said as he grabbed a stack of pillows to elevate your feet on. Wincing at the wails of pain that came from you. “It’s ok, i'm gonna stay right here.” he said as he walked over and grabbed the plate of food that he left on his nightstand and sat down next to you and fed you. After feeding you and putting a blanket over you, he stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed and changed his clothes. 

He then got under the covers with you and cuddled you. “It's ok” he said over and over again as he shushed your cries. It was like that until the both of you fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rays of sun beaming from your window caused you to wake up. You look over and see that hizashi has gotten up and straightened the bed back up and cleaned up the dishes from your nightstand. You smell something amazing in the air, but then remembered what happened to you last night and a wave of nausea hits you like a train. You lay your head down and breathe trying to think of anything else while the three men ate breakfast at the table downstairs. 

Hizashi is so angry at shota right now it's not even funny. But he still loves him dearly with all of his heart. So he still kisses him on the cheek and serves him breakfast. Hizashi is always the most emotional out of the trio. So it's damn near impossible for him to ever see eye to eye on shota’s discipline. Pretty much like the fun dad and mean mom. So he will never understand the ankle breaking option that shota chose. Hizashi will never agree with shota’s punishments and will never use them on you himself. He hasn’t quite had a change of heart yet, But if you keep it up, he just might. 

He kissed shota and toshi before sending them off to work and waving them goodbye from the porch. They wanted to see you before work, but hizashi wouldn’t allow it. Telling them to give it time. After the cars roll off he takes a deep breath and walks back into the house and cleans up their dishes and tries to find ways to forgive shota while washing them. He then took a plate that he made you out of the microwave and headed upstairs with it. 

You heard a few knocks on the door before it opened. You look over and see your soon to be husband walk in holding a plate of food and some juice. Long golden hair wrapped in a low bun, green iris’s lighting up behind his glasses, while wearing a tight black shirt that has a rock band on it, and black and red patterned pj pants. 

He smiles bright at you and mouths a “hey” at you while he walks towards you quietly. He sets the plate and cup on your nightstand and bends down to help you sit up. He whispers gently to you “good morning”. He rubs your head when you groan in pain. “I got some food for ya, I think you should eat, songbird.” he says while sitting on the side of the bed to then lay a hand on your legs and start rubbing it in a comforting way. “There's a doctor coming over in a few hours to give you a cast and help you with your ankles so they can heal properly. “ he says as he bends over to grab the food off the nightstand table. 

He grabs the fork and shovels some food on it. “Say ah” you roll your eyes, but do it anyway. You take the food off of the fork when he puts it in your mouth and chew. It's spicy. He looks at you expectantly and smiles. “Good?” you nod and he's practically beaming. It was boring while you ate. You weren't allowed to watch tv or read any books or even walk in that matter. That's the only thing about this punishment that hizashi can kind of agree on. So he won't let you do any of those things either. He understands that what you did is bad, so he won't let you get away with it completely. Mid meal, Hizashi started ranting about his husband and toshi. The room was too quiet and he thought that you would make a good listener. 

You were surprised most of the conversation, chewing slowly and listening closely as mic ranted about them. Learning new things about them and the things that they did, who they are as people. Shota sounded terrifying. How does mic even sleep with him? Is he a victim? The conversation started when he started talking about your ankles, then he started getting riled up and started venting. Then eventually the conversation circled back to the beginning where he was before he trailed off. 

He shoveled the last bit of food on the fork and pointed at you. “Fuck what shota thinks, he believes that you shouldn’t wear a cast or get your ankles fixed. He wants you broken. Toshi disagrees with it too, but he's a pussy. He’s scared of shota. Shotas is pretty much the man of the house.”  He said while he raised his arm with the fork in it in a mocking way. 

He finally put the fork in your mouth before finishing his rant. “Shota’s gonna kill me when he sees the cast on you.” you chew slightly traumatized but alas, you swallow it. “Alrighty then” he says smiling at you while he gathers up the plate and cup and walks out of your room. Leaving you there to think about what he said about the others. 

Hizashi will never tell them that he was the reason behind the death of your mother. That will follow him to the grave. As much as he got in shota’s face for what he did to you, He himself did something just as dreadful. He feels like a hypocrite. Even though that woman deserved the worst, she didn't deserve death. No one does. He stands and thinks about that as he washes your dishes. Starting to regret what he did. He’s never killed anyone, honest. But she lit something up in him. He loved you too much for that. Love will make you do some crazy things won't it?

He headed towards the back of the house. There's a big room, a perfect room to make an ‘at home’ recording studio. So he’ll be able to do his third job at home to spend more time with you. 

The boxes were already in there filled with everything that the studio needed, and that's how both of your days went. You spent it in bed while he was building his studio. After he finished building his studio, he took a step back and admired his work. Perfect. 

The next thing on his ‘to do’ list is to fix the lock from the door you ran out of and put more security on the locks. 

He grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and took a few sips. “Shit might as well drill all the fucking doors shut.” he thought to himself as he threw his hands up exaggeratingly.

He was in the middle of fixing the lock on the door when he heard a knock at the front door. He dropped the tools and walked through the house while wiping his dirty hands on his pants before he opened the door. It was the doctor. One that hizashi is paying very well to keep his mouth shut about what he sees. 

He greeted the doctor and let him in and started working on your ankles. Hizashi decided to go back downstairs and finish the door so he wouldn't hear your yells of pain.

Hizashi fixed the lock and then decided to put more security on the others. He was on his knees at the front door, playing with the lock. “AHEM” hizashi turns around and sees the doctor. “Oh, sorry.” He says as he gets up and opens the door to let him out. He turned around and said “everything is perfectly fine, but from the looks of it, don't let her walk for a few weeks.” hizashi nodded and sparked a 5 minute conversation with him while you laid in bed upstairs crying from everything that you went through and had to go through. 

They both laughed and waved goodbye before he came back into the house. He then began walking upstairs to check on you. He opened the door and saw you laying down with tears in your eyes. “Hey what's the matter”? He asked. Oh as if he didnt know. “The doctor gave you cute casts and you're sad?” he said while rubbing them. This is the most frustrating thing ever. 

You just ignored him and closed your eyes while he was assuming that the others pissed you off and he was the “good” guy. 

“I want to go home,” Hizashi's head snapped up. “What”? You looked at him with rage in your face. “I. WANT. TO. GO. HOME!” He stood up and backed up.

 “What, why? After all I do for you? We’re gonna live a good, long, happy life. We’re gonna get some pets, and make babies and have a big happy family here” 

He’s honestly really delusional. You sat yourself up and yelled louder. “All you do for me? What did you possibly do to benefit me huh? Huh, Hizashi Yamada?” you screeched. He was losing his mind. He was pacing around the room. Just spiraling every second. You could see it on its face. It was almost enough to make you back down. He might be the softest, but he's the scariest, the most mentally ill. But you kept going. “IM GONNA KILL ALL OF YOU AND BURN YOUR DEAD BODIES AND RUN AW-”  Before you could finish he snapped. Turning around and harshly pointing at you “YOU ARE HOME” his face red with rage. You jumped a little from the booming voice. He began to walk closer while still pointing. “YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME? ANYWHERE! THIS IS YOUR HOME NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING GET USED TO IT!” he said as he grabbed you harshly and yanked you out of bed. “HEY, HEY” you screamed as he dragged you through the house all the way down to the basement. “NO PLEASE” you screamed as he dragged you down the stairs and into the darkness of the basement. The only light is the open door. He threw you to the ground near a metal pipe and wrapped chains around you. “Please i'll be good, i'm so sorry”

All of your pleas fell on deaf ears as he tightened the chains and yanked on them to make sure that it was tight enough. He then stood up straight and began to walk out. “This is your home. Now think about what you’ve done.” and with that he slammed the door closed. Leaving you in complete cold darkness. 

As much as you hate it, believe it or not, this….this is your life now.

[jo-harrington]

Leave of Absence (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie has royally fucked everything up and he needs to fix it. But after an unexpected emergency back home, he steps up to be there for Reader, just like she's always there for him.

Previous Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.05

Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Slow burn, mutual pining, angsty, emotional, fluffy, family problems, death in the family, loss, grief, pain and comfort, road trip, avoidance of feelings, Minor religious themes, mention of Catholic Church/Reader's family is Catholic but no overarching catholicism (that's what my other story is for)

Note: Woof ok this was an uphill battle FOR A YEAR. I'm gonna say the reason that Store Manager Verse exists in its present form is because of THIS CHAPTER RIGHT HERE. Before I could bring my two silly babies here to this moment, they needed to have some serious foundations laid down. Is it the best chapter? Probably not. But I'm incredibly happy that it's here and it's done.

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring our resident Store Manager and all of my other Eddie stories.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

He was nervous.

"Stacey."

Of course he was nervous.

"Freak."

And what did he do when he was nervous? He talked.

"Hey now, I'm wounded," Eddie laid a hand across his chest, trying to keep the cool guy exterior. "Calling me a freak? Did I or did I not just help you with that flat tire last week?"

He was surprised when Stacey paused, a barb surely caught on the end of her tongue. She even looked a little embarrassed for a moment before her own frosty expression returned and she had the decency to look down her nose at him.

Sticking to the status quo.

"I know you're trying to put my boss under a love spell or hypnosis or something," she rolled her eyes. "So don't act like you would have helped any other time if she hadn't asked. Gotta keep her buttered up so you can get in her pants. Gag."

The typical stab of insult was welcome; the rest of it...wasn't. Not when it came to you. Not after what happened on Sunday. Not when he was nervous.

Sunday...

What started out as a normal night for the two of you had quickly become a nightmare. For him at least.

Well...it had been a dream at first. Hanging out. Food, laughter, music; it was nothing out of the norm for a Sunday night together. But then he had to go and suggest a little weed, where you had some kind of...bad reaction. To try and get your mind off the panic that had quickly taken over your body...he'd done the first thing that came to mind.

The only thing that came to mind lately when you were around.

He kissed you.

And he kept kissing you because you hadn't pushed him away. In fact, you’d kissed him harder.

For minutes or hours, he couldn't quite tell, he was overjoyed and he basked in being surrounded by you, in finding pleasure with you.

Finding pleasure. God, there was that poet's heart Mrs. Mills always told him he had. Almost fucking. Grinding one out on his couch. But yeah...finding pleasure worked too. Because it wasn't just a meaningless romp; he was kind of crazy about you, so of course it was gonna be special. Poetic.

How long had he been on the edge about confessing his feelings and ruining your friendship? He was the only one to blame when it came to keeping his mouth shut; Kyle had been telling him to just ask you out and plant one on you forever. And then Eddie did and it was perfect.

Until it wasn't. Until Wayne came home and Eddie had seen the panic and the fear and the...realization in your eyes, and he knew how badly he'd fucked up. Let alone the fact that you immediately ran away.

You’d been avoiding him for a few days. “Avoiding him,” as though school and work hadn't been putting you on opposite schedules. Still, there were no phone calls. No waiting to take your breaks with him. Only awkward glances as he passed your store on the way to start his shift, or a strained smile as you passed each other in the parking lot as he was coming and you were going.

And now Stacey was…being Stacey.

Had you told her? Complained about him? Made it known to your employees that the two of you had made a huge mistake.

No you would never…

Still, his nerves got the better of him and although he didn’t want to seem desperate, especially around Stacey of all people, he was.

"...did she say that or..." He paused and shook his head. "Where is your boss anyway? She’s supposed to close tonight right?”

Stacey looked a little unsure again and this time it made his stomach turn.

People were usually nervous around Eddie, but he had grown plenty used to that reaction from a wide array of classmates and neighbors.

Once again, when it came to you, especially given the circumstances, things were different. Maybe that's what was happening here? Maybe Stacey knew something he didn't, and you'd told her not to say anything so you could let him down easily.

Eddie was generally a level-headed guy but sometimes...sometimes...it didn't matter if he had a level head because the entire world was tipping on its side.

Who had you told? Stacey for sure...maybe Chrissy? Chrissy always avoided him at school thanks to his resident freak status, Starcourt Mall be damned. What about Mindy? Mindy was your only other confidante outside of him; what did she know? Had she convinced you to...to what? Dump him as a friend? Take the time you needed to avoid him? Somewhere between Sunday and today, had you finally come to the realization that he had been dreading all along. That he wasn't worth your time?

"Um, yeah,” Stacey finally replied and Eddie blinked himself back to reality. She picked at her cuticles and avoided his eyes. Never a good sign. “Well she was supposed to but Mindy was here when I clocked in. She's sick or something, I don't know. Mindy wouldn't say exactly...but she never calls out so..."

“Well where’s Mindy now?” he asked, almost desperately.

“She’s finishing up her break in the back,” she explained with a nod. “I can go see if she’s done.”

She disappeared into the stockroom, leaving him alone in the store.

He was unsure how to feel. Relief coursed through him; you weren’t avoiding him, you were simply not here. But on the other hand, what if you weren't here because you were avoiding him?

What if Stacey didn't know anything but Mindy did. Because no, you never called off. Ever. A fact that you had told him when he suggested playing hooky one busy Saturday when you were overwhelmed by a never-ending mid shift.

“I never leave early. I never take a sick day.”

“Well, shit, did you have perfect attendance in school too?”

“Uhm,” you hesitated, biting your lip naughtily. “I’m not at will to say.”

“Oh, you bad girl.”

"If it isn't our resident Van Halen impersonator," Mindy greeted as she walked out of the stockroom. Her usual sing-songs mom voice replaced by a gentler one as she smiled at him solemnly. "She's taking a few sick days. Should be back in time for your night out on Sunday, I hope."

"She's sick?" Eddie asked skeptically. "Wasn’t she here yesterday, she looked fi--"

"Why don't you give her a call," she insisted. She glanced over to the stock room door and as Eddie tracked her gaze, he saw Stacey eavesdropping. "Actually I was gonna stop by after work. Why don't you go? That way it's not a game of telephone.

"I'm sure she could really use a friend right now."

---

Eddie had never been inside of your apartment before.

He knew where you lived, sure; he'd dropped you off or picked you up a few times, especially once the two of you started planning dates outings outside of the usual Sundays. He'd never even rang the bell, if he was being honest. You usually watched out the window eagerly when you were expecting him to arrive.

The realization hit him as he stood there at the little residential door between the bakery and the furniture store, staring at your name on a little Dymo punch label next to the buzzer that he'd just jammed his finger into, and it filled him with doubt.

You'd been to the trailer a few times. Seen all of his favorite places, tried all of his favorite foods. Listened patiently to his insecurities and issues. Still, you seemed to keep him at arms length, if he didn't even know what your apartment looked like; did you have posters on the walls or pictures of your family? What color was your couch? Or the towels in your bathroom?

He knew so much about you but did he really know you, and did you even want him to?

The door buzzed open and Eddie took the stairs up to your landing two at a time, all the while worrying and overthinking: You weren't expecting him and he was beginning to doubt that you even wanted him here in the first place. Sure, Mindy told him to go over...but was this taking it a step too far?

He started preparing an apology as he closed the final few distance to your door and it swung open--

"I'm sorry I fucked up, I didn't mean to break your trust. I'll do anything...anything...if you'll just forgive me. If you just give me another chance."

--and he saw the sorry state you were in.

Hair and clothes mussed, eyes bloodshot and puffy, a bundle of black fabric clenched tightly in your hands; the shine of tears and snot was accentuated by the incandescent lights in the hallway.

"Eddie," you whispered in a strained, broken voice, then you dropped the fabric to cross the threshold of your apartment and bury your face into his shirt. He panicked for a moment, arms held uselessly at his sides as your tears penetrated the worn fabric at his shoulder, but he quickly engulfed you in a hug.

"I'm sorry," you both spoke over one another, then you pulled back and stared him straight in the eye. "You're sorry? I'm sorry."

"No," you shook your head. "I'm sorry. I...I should have done better, I shouldn't have--"

"I crossed a line and I ruined our friendship and--"

You both continued talking over one another, each half-listening to what the other had to say as you got your own apologies out, until you both synced back up again.

"I fucked up and I'm sorry."

Your shoulders and chests heaved from the cacophony of emotion and a tense laugh was shared between the two of you. Then Eddie came to a realization.

"If you're sorry..." he frowned and let his eyes rake over you again. "If you thought that you hurt or scared me--which you didn't, by the way. It was...it was me, my mistake--why are you crying?"

You worried your lip for a second and a lone tear escaped your eye and trailed down your cheek; his hand immediately came up so he could thumb it away.

"Mindy told me you were sick," he muttered, taking advantage of the proximity to be a little gentler, a little smaller than he was used to being, so you could put your trust in him again. "What happened?"

"Uhm..." you croaked. "I'm not sick. I'm just taking a few sick days. Bereavement days...actually. Little leave of absence. Just through the end of the weekend."

The word was distantly familiar to him; the memories, though, would stay with him forever. Rick picking him up from school, a phone call from Wayne to his boss. An appointment for all three of them to get suits rented...and then some flowers ordered. Shiny shoes that he could see his teary-eyed reflection in.

He swallowed painfully and watched you do the same as you prepared your confession.

"My...uh...my grandpa died last night."

And before he knew it, it was 12 hours later. 12 hours that he spent relatively quietly.

He let you fill the silence; let you talk and cry, only opening his mouth to comfort you when the realization hit again and it got to be too much.

He helped you pack your bag for the trip back home. That was when your grief finally turned into anger.

Towards your family. Towards yourself.

"I feel like it's my fault," you sighed as you showed him how to find a pair of tights that didn’t have runs in them, whatever that meant. "I was the only one who took care of him. Doctor's appointments, took him on walks, made sure he didn't have the food he wasn't supposed to. The works. And I left. It's my fault he's gone. At least, that's the way Michael made it sound on the phone."

Eddie almost didn't catch the last part, said under your breath as you stuffed a shiny pair of shoes into your duffel bag, but he did. He wasn't going to let you do this to yourself; how many times over the years had he questioned how he might have been able to keep his mom from dying? On those days where he needed her most. He knew he couldn't stop you from those thoughts, at least not now but he could do his best to fight them away until you could do it yourself.

"Michael," he spoke up, startling you with the realization that he heard. "That's your brother right?"

"Older brother," you nodded slowly.

"Sounds like a shithead."

"Yeah," you let out the briefest laugh and then fiddled with the zipper tab. "He kind of is."

You complained about perfect Michael and his perfect life until your stomach rumbled and Eddie offered to order dinner for the two of you. When you mentioned that you hadn't eaten all day, he made sure you had more than your fill of beef lo mein and garlic string beans as Monty Hall played on the television.

At a certain point, your takeout carton made it to the coffee table and you started to doze off as your head rested on his shoulder. It was a relief, but only for a second, because you startled back awake and dumped all the clothes out of your bag again.

"I didn't pack the right dress," you muttered. "Aunt Amelia's gonna say something about it. I just know."

So Eddie stayed up with you all night as you packed and unpacked and packed again, uncaring that he had school in the morning or Hellfire that night. Fuck it all. It didn’t matter. None of the doubts and self-hatred and worry that had plagued him all week since Sunday night even crossed his mind. All that he worried about was making sure you weren't alone.

When dawn came, and you tiredly tried to wave him out of your apartment so that he could get ready for class and you could hit the road, he pulled you into his arms and just...held you.

He closed his eyes and rocked you back and forth as you hummed softly and gripped the back of his t-shirt tightly beneath his jacket.

He thought of all the things that he could say in that moment...

Drive safe, call me tonight so I know you got there, I'm sorry, take it easy on yourself, it's not your fault.

...but none of them were able to fall from his lips.

"Welp," you sighed. "This is it."

But neither of you moved.

"Thank you for coming over Eddie. I really really appreciate it."

Still nothing. No forward momentum, no motivation to move on to the rest of the day without one another, no reassuring words from him to give you the strength you needed to go forth alone, and no will for him to leave you.

You'd both be ready when you were ready, it seemed.

But as you finally pulled away from him, and he thought about you getting in your car and driving for what might be one of the toughest weekends of your life, all he managed to say...

"Why don't I come with you? I know it's not a road trip or fun or anything. I know I have school and work but...fuck it. We can stop at the trailer, I'll leave a note for Wayne and grab the nicest clothes I own, and...I'll come with you. I just...I don't want you doing this all alone."

...resulted in him sitting in the passenger's seat of your car for 5 hours as you zoomed down the highway away from his whole life in Indiana to the great unknown of Chicago.

---

You talked for a majority of the drive.

Eddie already knew some things about your family—strict parents, pesky brothers, too many cousins than he could keep track of—but you seemed to want to prepare him because he would effectively meet all of them.

"Big Catholic family and a funeral," you glanced at him from the corner of your eye and shot a tense smile. “It's a lot. You sure you still want to come?”

You’d done that throughout the drive too, asked him if he was sure he wanted to come with you. He’d joked several times already that you’d have to leave him on the side of the road, which you wouldn’t, or turn back altogether if he chickened out.

Besides, he already called Jeff when you stopped at his place to let him grab some clothes, and canceled Hellfire; he wouldn’t chicken out for anything. He needed to be here for you.

If he was being honest, yes he was nervous. He hadn’t met any girlfriends' families before or anything, and this whole situation wasn’t exactly the way he’d ever imagined meeting yours. As you crossed the state border into Illinois, though, your breath got shallow and your hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, and Eddie wondered if you were looking for a way out because you never wanted the two parts of your life—family and friends—to clash.

“I don’t, uh,” he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I know I’m not someone that…families approve of or anything, if that's why you keep asking if I want to be here.”

"It's not that--" you tried to interject.

"And I know we're not dating or anything but..." he trailed off awkwardly and then cleared his throat.

Well that was one way of sticking his foot in his mouth.

Your head was half turned towards him, jaw dropped, eyes darting back and forth from the road to him.

The thought of opening the car door and bailing as you zoomed down the highway briefly crossed his mind because he fucked up. Why would he say something like that? It was because he was a big dingus, actually, the biggest.

"Uh, Eddie listen--"

"No," he interrupted you again. "Sweetheart I'm sorry, that's...that wasn't fair of me. I didn't mean...I just..."

"No it's ok, we should ta--"

"I just thought that...I know I pretty much intruded on this trip, but I wanted to be here for you. But if me being here is gonna cause more problems for you...I mean damn, I don't mind taking a Greyhound back to Hawkins even. But more than anything, I want to make sure you're alright."

He nervously picked at the loose threads on the holes at his knees and was surprised when you took a hand off the steering wheel and grabbed his.

"Do you know," you whispered, voice barely audible. "I think I would have turned back by now if I tried to come alone. Michael on the phone...god I don't know how my dad's gonna be...or my aunt. I don't want to have to deal with all of that. But I know I need to be there...it's for my Papa, I have to be there.

"It's hard to go home when you've moved someplace else. When you've started to find home somewhere else. And I wasn't gonna say anything. I wasn't gonna ask you--it's too much to ask--but I secretly kind of hoped that you would ask to come along. And I'll never be able to really thank you, Eddie, for wanting to be here. For me.

"But thank you," you shot him a smile and squeezed his hand tightly.

He swallowed thickly and squeezed right back.

"I'll be here for as long as you need me to be, sweetheart. As long as you want me to be."

---

The weekend was a whirlwind, and honestly, Eddie knew he wasn't going to be able to make heads or tails of it until the two of you got home on Sunday night.

The first surprise, shortly after your heartfelt moment in the car, was the fact that you didn't actually live in Chicago. You'd been approaching the city on I-90, you even pointed out the Sears Tower to him. Then you got on an exit and drove for another 20 minutes down North Avenue.

"I feel like I've been lied to," he sniffed petulantly.

"I told you I'm from the suburbs before," you chuckled at his antics. "And it might as well be Chicago, it's all Cook County."

"We're not even driving North, how is this North Avenue?"

"We don't have time for a history lesson, we'll be there soon."

Still, it was exciting. Not exactly what he pictured in his head from watching shows on TV or seeing news reels about the city, but nonetheless different from what he was used to in Hawkins and that was the part he liked.

At a certain point, you reached a stretch of road that featured certain destinations that would live in Eddie's imagination until he could ask you about them--KiddieLand Amusement Park, Riviera Lanes, and Winston Plaza--and Eddie noticed your hands started to shake.

"You ok? There's plenty of places to pull over," he suggested. "I can drive the rest of the way."

"No it's ok," you said and swung a left-hand turn onto a residential street with houses that sort-of all looked the same, sort-of all looked different. "We're here."

You parked on the street in front of a house that you noted belonged to your aunt, and then led him down a narrow sidewalk to the backyard of the neighboring house, where a kid gangly enough to rival Mike Wheeler sat in a plastic lawn chair with headphones on, arms crossed over his chest, and his eyes closed.

"Jimmy," you called to him and then kicked his foot. "Jimmy. James Joseph, wake up."

"I'm awake," he startled, knocked the headphones down so they sat around his neck, and stood up. Even with one hand rubbing his eye, your brother's resemblance to you was obvious, and a sense of dread washed over Eddie.

And so it began...meeting your family.

Jimmy was probably the best introduction of them all--there was an ease between the two of you, even with the snide jabs and banter back and forth--and that extended to Eddie. Especially when Jimmy realized that he and Eddie were wearing the same shirt.

"Don't let him fool you, he's a dweeb," you announced when Jimmy got excited over a shared love for Judas Priest, and Eddie hoped you meant your brother, but he couldn't be too sure you weren't referring to him.

There was a brief respite as you both rested for a minute, changed clothes, and ate a plate of some sort of casserole from the packed shelves of the avocado fridge in your grandpa's kitchen. Then it was an onslaught, a domino effect of faces and names that gradually got more important as you got back into the car to head towards the funeral home.

A sea of strange faces that smiled and hugged you and then looked over at Eddie in question, but not in an unwelcome way, and he was glad he'd pilfered a black scrunchie from your bag to tie his hair back respectfully.

You introduced him to this old coworker of your Papa and that great-aunt from Minneapolis and this cousin. He even got to meet your old store manager--a stern, short, blonde woman with victory rolls and shimmering black eyeshadow--who'd come to pay her respects after she saw your Papa's obituary in the newspaper; she honestly scared Eddie a little, but she made him laugh, which meant she was good in his book.

It was all reminiscent of meeting people after his mom died once upon a time, the only other funeral he'd ever been to. When people called and came out of the woodwork in an overwhelming number to offer their condolences. He had been young and sad then, but he was older, wiser, and tougher now. He shook hands and said "nice to meet you" and when people questioned whether he was a boyfriend, Eddie insisted he was just a friend who wanted to be here for you.

It wasn't a lie; still he got a skeptical gaze from at least two elderly women who tutted once they were out of earshot.

Eventually, you got to the front of the room, to the row of chairs that held your immediate family, and after a few tearful hugs, Eddie finally met your parents, your aunt and uncle, and your older brother.

He was surprised to hear "I've heard a lot about you" come from your mother's mouth, but was not surprised to hear the "no funny business under my roof" from your father after a clap on the shoulder. Your uncle said nothing after a short “hello”, just let your aunt do all the talking, and all she could talk about was your appearance.

"What are you doing, honey? What is this you're wearing? For Papa's wake? I hope you plan to wear something a little more modest for my father's funeral tomorrow. And your friend? A leather jacket? A little casual don't you think? What's that dear? Yes, nice to meet you too Edward. Thank you for coming."

Your brother Michael, though...Michael was a douchebag to put it in polite terms, and Eddie could tell that, unlike with Jimmy, the relationship between you was tense.

"You're late" he sniffed judgmentally instead of a greeting.

"We hit traffic and needed to change," you snarked right back.

"So you stopped off at home? Where's Jim? Why couldn't you get him here?"

"You know how he is at these things, he'll show up before they close up for the night. You remember how he was when Nana died. And now he's Mr. Tough Guy. He doesn't like to cry."

Back and forth the two of you went, Michael's accusations and your tense responses. Eddie could feel himself get more and more irritated the harsher it got, the angrier he felt you become. If it was anything other than a funeral--a wake, what was the difference--he would have started in on your brother several minutes ago to protect you.

And he was still tempted to.

But it was like a switch was flipped as someone else approached, and he watched as you changed right before his very eyes. As all the irritation and vulnerabilities left you, and in their place...was the Store Manager version of you he knew and sort of despised. Cold and stiff and everything he knew you weren't by the grace of becoming your friend.

Regardless, it was startling to see.

At the end of the night as Eddie settled into the second twin bed in what used to be Michael and Jimmy's shared room, Eddie realized that your customer service persona had been present for most of the evening, and had only slipped in the presence of those few family members that could see right past it.

Could they see past it? Or was it that you simply couldn't hide behind it with them?

For the whole time he'd known you, Eddie had often wondered what had driven you to Indiana. The job, sure, but...you'd left everything you'd known behind. And hell, for all the times that he wanted to get the hell out of Hawkins, he knew he couldn't leave Wayne or Rick for very long. In his heart he knew the day he finally left, he'd need to be back quite often to see them.

Now, though...when it came to you, he started to understand.

---

The next day, the day of the funeral, you couldn't stop shaking.

Eddie had been nervously second guessing the black jeans--the only non-ripped pair he owned--and Wayne's borrowed dress shirt when he saw you digging through your bag, trembling. It seemed like you were trying to hide it, kept your body moving and grabbing for something, but he noticed immediately,

He snatched the car keys out of your hands before you could get a solid grasp on them when it was time to go.

"It's alright," he reassured you. "Just tell me where I'm going and I'll get us there."

He thought it would be back to the funeral home, but instead you gave him directions to the church. A big old building with stained glass windows and a large statue of the Virgin Mary out in the front.

He could hear the organ music of the hymns emanating from within, and on the hour, the bells from the tower beside the chapel became deafening. For all the Catholic school girl jokes he made at your expense, he didn't realize you were Catholic Catholic.

"You sure I'm not gonna burst into flames if I set foot inside?" he joked to try and ease your nerves and his, but you just shook your head. He watched and suddenly felt helpless, as you began to shake more and worry your bottom lip with your teeth; he was supposed to be here to support you, to reassure you, and instead you looked ready to keel over. "Hey, it'll be ok."

"Yeah," you nodded tensely. "Yeah, let's just go inside."

You didn't make a move though, just rocked onto the toes of your shiny Mary Janes and looked on as tons of people filtered into the church.

Tons of people that, once again, reminded him of the people that had come to pay their respects for his mom. Eddie remembered being there, shaking in his shoes, trying to keep a straight-face, to be strong. To not be a baby because he was 10 years old.

It was just like you said about Jimmy the previous night; big tough guy, didn't want to cr--

Oh.

Realization hit Eddie. The culmination of all the other realizations that had been mounting over the past what? 48 hours? Maybe the past week? The two of you were more alike than he realized. Eddie had just noticed how you'd put up this strong front since you'd been home; the comfortable, safe Store Manager facade was starting to crack. Hadn't he just told you the story about his mom's funeral? How he'd fallen in love with metal because Rick had realized that he needed to process his grief? That he needed to lash out? To cry?

Here he was, trying to get you to laugh, when instead he should have been doing the opposite. But how was he gonna get you to cry? You didn't even cry much at the wake when you'd placed your hand on top of the shiny casket that held your Papa within.

Maybe it just hadn't hit you yet?

Alright, change of plans.

"Your Papa knew a lot of people," Eddie noted, gesturing towards the funeral-goers.

"He did," you agreed, and he watched as your shoulders lost the slightest bit of tension. "He was...I mean you met my cousin last night. The one who wants to run for Mayor."

"Yeah, he's got that yuppie thing about him."

"Well, my Papa could have been Mayor if he wanted," you said with the most conviction he'd ever heard in your voice. "He just didn't want to. Which means he deserved it even more. He was the nicest neighbor, the best friend. He went and played competitive Bocce at the civic center and fundraised for charity and canned his own peaches to give to people."

On and on, you talked about Papa's recipe for this and his idea for that and...

"And the way he fucking chain smoked god damn it Eddie," you hit his arm as he pulled his cigarettes from the back pocket of his jeans.

Eddie thought that, at the very least, an emotional story would be the thing that would set you over the edge. Instead it was the pack of Marlboro Reds that he'd picked up when you had stopped for gas about halfway through the drive.

You hit his arm a few times, as you often did when you tried to playfully admonish him for this or that, then your face crumpled. Your shaking ceased as you collapsed against him and buried your face against his shoulder once again, just like you had when he first arrived at your apartment on Thursday night.

He dropped the cigarettes and folded his arms around you, pulled you into the safety of your friendship when it seemed like there wasn't anything safe out there for you right now; when you'd just lost one of the safe places you had in the world.

He whispered sweet words--comforts and reassurances--and he made you laugh once by threatening to punch your brother if he tried to make a scene.

"I'll do it," he goaded you. "I don't care if he's in mourning too. He's insufferable. Hate that guy. Never coming back to Chicago ever if he's still in town. You hear that? I might have to leave right now."

"No," you tugged him closer to you, and he reveled in the feeling. "You're staying right here. You promised."

"I did," he agreed.

The tense hold you had on him got looser and you hiccuped the last few tears you had.

A few yards away, a hearse pulled up to the curb in front of the church, and your brothers and several of your cousins went to start hauling the casket inside.

"You ready to go in?" Eddie asked. "You don't have to...but..."

"No," you shook your head and pulled back from him. "I'm ok. I'm ready."

"Good."

He waited for you to make the first move once again, but before you did, you took his hand in yours and squeezed.

"He would have been...so happy to have met you, Eddie," you looked at him earnestly. "I told him all about you. I think it hurts a little more...knowing that he didn't get the chance."

He squeezed your hand right back and smiled.

"I'm sad I didn't get the chance either. Guess I'm gonna have to work extra hard not to go to Hell so I can shake his hand in Heaven."

You snorted and pushed him away with a soft jackass then pulled him into the church with you saying he would have made the same joke.

---

The next morning, you and Eddie made a stealthy getaway.

Your father had tried to get you both to go to church with them again and you politely declined.

"We need to get on the road so we don't get back too late. I have to open tomorrow," you made the excuse.

Honestly Eddie was grateful; all the sitting and standing and kneeling...he hadn't gotten that much exercise since gym class Freshman year.

But as you soared back down North Avenue, you made a detour.

"I know this wasn't supposed to be a fun trip," you explained. "If you're up for it, we can make the drive back whenever...maybe during spring break or something? The least I can do before we head back to Hawkins, to thank you for coming, is give you a taste of good Chicago food. Especially after casseroles and funeral home sandwiches all weekend.

"It is Sunday, after all."

And that's how Eddie found himself having his first authentic Chicago style hot dog. Sitting on a picnic bench outside, under a red and yellow striped umbrella, the ambient sounds of cars zooming and your banter back and forth the perfect backdrop.

"No ketchup, are you kidding me right now Eddie?" you swatted his hand.

"Why do they have ketchup if they don't want it on the hot dog," he argued.

"It's for the fries and the fries only. You need to have the whole experience. A hot dog with everything, and ketchup on the fries only."

He watched as you unwrapped your hotdog and began picking through the toppings. Hypocrite.

"Wait, I thought you said you needed to have the whole experience, why are you taking the peppers off."

"I don't like the peppers."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Eddie scoffed. "Gonna have to take your Chicago Card away. Oh wait, I'm sorry. Suburb card."

"Oh my god, just eat. Before I leave you here."

He took his first bite and his tastebuds sang, as you munched on a French fry with a cheeky smile.

And Eddie was happy. Happy to be here with you. Sundays were his favorite days, hands down, and he would do everything in his power to keep them that way.

It might not have been the happiest weekend, there might still be some unanswered questions between the two of you. But you were here with him and you were still friends, and after everything that had happened, that's all Eddie could ask for.

Next Part: Closing Time

[malwaredykes]

the untapped Enemy Of The State Potential is one of boones best funniest traits tbh like ok since im in charge of Awesome Flawless FNV Remake Available Exclusively On My Beautiful Mind im rewriting boones personal #journey arc primarily by expanding on it because i mean yeah fatalistic thinking and the question of agency vs authority and having to live with having done something inexcusable and The Denying Of Closure are good themes but to me theyre not enough here. that lack of closure about something that really intrinsically can never entertain the idea of closure is all well and good, but... lets keep going lets put a pin in that. lets turn once again to boones potential for becoming wanted by the ncr government. boone i know you want to go apeshit. its time to admit that its always been about the system youd been conditioned into never questioning and which you continued to mentally cling to as you felt there was no other purpose or direction to your existence in the wake of all the disastrous events in your life. but its time to develop a grasp on your agency as a human being boone. and yes some of that is going to make you feel worse because, Well. The Complicity. bitter springs. but you know what, it is also freeing and the right thing to do. release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin. youre already there just look around you. youve cut the ropes that held you back, now its time to rip and shred the ropes that still are wrapped around you. its there. youve physically gotten out. and its time to evolve. "now if iiiiii were to assassinate the president 🤔" i know you want to. im not saying you should but i know youve thought about it before. "guess that settler was well-connected" yes isnt that fucked up i know you think thats fucked up. and oh your friend the courier just did something fucked up at mccarran and all these ncr soldiers and staff are trying to shoot them? of course its the courier youre defending when faced with the immediate choice i mean if its between "fuck the ncr. die" and "fuck the person im ride or die for because theyre a force of destiny that entered my life to change it one way or another and now i care about them deeply. die" well of course youre choosing the path of Leave My FACKING FRIEND Alone You Beasts. but of course the situation doesnt have to be this immediately dire. it doesnt have to stem from an immediate danger to your new object of loyalty. we dont have to let it go down this particular route. no need to have something this drastic happen. you can reach this conclusion simply by giving into the desire youve repressed for years to go apeshit at the ncr government and every arm of its hegemony. that bubbling rage? that "if i let this fester inside me im gonna do a fucking murder-suicide about it"? that in a certain timeline you do in fact end up doing a murder-suicide about? thats not just hateful desperation. thats a feeling, hitherto bottled up and unrefined and volatile, that you should allow to breathe and photosynthesize and grow into something beautiful and true and let it blossom and bear fruit. boone, there is no need to feel alone and helpless and directionless in your unfulfilled desire to cut the umbilical cord.

so. enough rationalizing things as rotten spots and necessary burdens in an otherwise inevitable righteous system, you knowwwww thats pure bullshit. my advice, do some reading. reading is fundamental, and luckily for you, you literally know a very literate anarcho-communist. i can guarantee you that you could walk up to arcade and be like "👉👈 hi gannon soooo i want to get into critiques of capitalism and of the military, and into anarchism and other leftist theory. i want to know about Other Ways to run things. could you give me some recommendations? for books and essays and so on. thanks" and he would be like "boone, yes. Absolutely. yes. i will prepare a reading list for you. gosh." and youll be given a stack of books, with notes and a directory. however, if you two are currently on really bad terms to the point where he doesnt wanna talk to you at all, hey, theres other followers of the apocalypse that would be happy to help. providing education is literally one of their main things. either way, youll finally feel vindicated about things that used to make you feel like you were just going insane. boone you werent going insane you were in fact being onto something. baby that time you saw an ncr military police on the strip facing away from you and there was a loose brick on the ground and it was calling to you like the green goblin mask? that time you were at camp forlorn hope and folks kept saying shit like "that red beret is looking good soldier" and you didnt respond or even look at them because you were focused on containing the urge to grab them by the shoulders and start shrieking? well you see those are actually instincts that tell us you have potential. you have the power to end these patterns. you want to. you need to. thats where you should go. theres a world of ideas waiting for you to tap into and be liberated by. you have nothing to lose but your pitiful pension (you can even keep the beret like who cares). there is so much you can do. its not about allegiance or moral debt or soothing personal guilt, its about doing the right thing. there are so many paths in front of you. also youre trans. like, that one also isnt just you going insane, its real and its right and its you, you are transgender

[twstfanblog]

This is more of a worldbuidling question but what do the commoners live like in each district??? I'd there more of an emphasis on art in the west and everyone has like. Crazily painted houses or elaborate gardens, and do southern commoners have a higher cost of living because it's so expensive to shop there? In southern schools, is there a surplus of those kids that bring snacks to school and sell them because if how ingrained business practices are? Or is it just normal? I want to know more about the more middle class characters like Jack and Trey T_T. Speaking of which how did Ace and Deuce become Riddles servants 🤔?

Also what about the slums and Ruggie? Are there more slums in a certain district, I'd assume he'd be placed in the east... maybe the kingscholars like to cut costs and corners to make more profits, even though it leaves the general population poorer? Also do leona and ruggie ever meet in this au???

That's all my questions for now! I'm probably gonna have more but if you don't want to answer them that's totally fine! Hope you have a good day ^^!

*Cracks knuckles*

Ok, here we go. Long Answer coming!

The price of living increases the closer you get to the capital. So the slums of each area are around the edges of the district on the opposite side of where the palace sits.

Class-wise, the southern district is mostly populated by nobles since no matter where you go, it's considered prime real estate. So the South doesn't really have a slums, since its main population are rich commoners and business-owning nobles.

Oh the kids try...but the schools are already running school stores where you can purchase lunches, snacks, school supplies, small plots of land. You gotta be a very crafty school child to get your foot in the door starting a business while still in school.

Schooling is pretty standard across the empire, the southern district puts a heavier focus on math and reading though, just because most of the kids who do attend school normally end up working for their family business. East has a number of culture studies, the west has so many electives to pick from it's almost scary. Northern children basically get funneled into the military (The fuck are you feeding these kids? Why do they all grow up to be TANKS????)

Lord the West district is a nightmare to HOAs. So many houses all with different vibes and color palettes. The scholars who picked the middle ground and became architects building the most insane 'shouldn't be standing against a strong wind' kind of houses. The theming gets more uniform the closer to the capital, but that's just because that's the more tourist area, where all the big theaters and conference halls are.

Speaking in terms of just size, the East has the biggest slums of the empire. Since they are the main resting point for visiting diplomats, it became a culture hub and most of the immigrants moved their because it was more familiar to their homelands. in turn there's just A LOT of people there and sadly not enough work for everyone. at this point it's just cheaper to live on the edge of the empire than moving to the second cheapest housing; the West slums. The Northern slums are basically just living on a mountain and surviving off the land.

Ruggie and Leona do meet! As he gets older, Leona's fights with his dad get worse. One night it was bad enough that Leona just ran away and was missing for nearly a week. Ruggie finds who he assumed was a homeless man and helped him out a bit 'We've all been there man'. In his time in the slums, Leona finds a bit of purpose and wants to help the people he technically rules over.

Leona is found and leaves without saying goodbye to Ruggie. YEARS LATER, a servant of the Duke Kingscholar comes to the slums asking for Ruggie to come with him. Farena is slowly taking over the Duchy from their aging father and Leona listed Ruggie as a good choice for a consultant. Ruggie actually does pretty well in the role, just gotta give him a crash course in etiquette before every formal dinner he has to attend now.

Let me list where everyone is!

North

Jack lives with his family after his mother secured a tutor job for a noble child when they first came to the empire. Once in the north, his family of wolf beastmen flourished and lowkey are treated as untitled nobles.

Sebek's family has strong ties to the royal army since his grandfather served and is friends with THE LILIA VANROUGE. Sebek's dream is to join the army to continue his family's legacy (And maybe see the prince. HE RESPECTS HIM OKAY!? DON'T TEASE HIM ABOUT THE POEMS HE WRITES!)

Epel lives with his family on one of the many farms contracted to supply produce to the palace. As such they have very high standards of their produce and won't let you talk down to them even if they aren't nobles.

East

Ruggie moved to the empire with his 'grandma' in a big group of refugees when he was very young. He does odd jobs around the district to help support his community.

Rook was born and raised in the upper-middle-class East District. He only moves to the West District to further his art career once he comes of age. From there he meets Vil and they fall in artist love.

South

Azul's mother owns a very popular seafood restaurant. It's half in the water and displays the first shell coin her great-great-great grandmother made in the sea (For luck!). She married into nobility with Azul's stepfather who accepted Azul as his own.

The Tweels family aren't titled but with how many dirty dealings they've done with the various shady business owners, they might as well just buy a title. A very wealthy and dangerous commoner family

Trey's family owns a very nice bakery! With the high-quality baked goods and fair pricing, they're normally packed by commoners and noblemen alike.

West

Vil and his father live and breathe the theater. They've been living in the West since Vil's dad moved from the capital to help an old friend establish his theater.

Riddle lives with his mother and live-in attendants and is lowkey miserable but working hard to achieve in his studies. They use to live in the South, but his mother said he was distracted too easily there.

Deuce lives in fairly cheap housing with his mom and grandma. Deuce's mom travels from the West to the capital to work for a week then to come back for a week off.

Ace has a similar situation to Deuce with his mom AND older brother going off for work. It's why they take the jobs to be aids for Riddle. Also known as 'Riddle's mom had to buy him friends'.

The Capital

Cater's dad is a senior member of the imperial bank! He and his family live pretty cushy lives even though they don't have a title. Cater's looking to change that and has been studying how to bag a noble beau every social season since he was seven.

Silver lives in the palace with his father and Malleus since Lilia brought him home. His curse is slowly getting worse with age but he's still working hard so that he can try to pass the army entry exams.

I hope this answers everything! Let me tell you guys, world-building is much FUN!!!!

[cry-ptidd]

Nev, you absolutely brilliant and beautiful and talented mastermind!

I need to hear about your thoughts and opinions on pre-canon Alucard aka Dracula!

First of all anon I'm gonna kiss you and hug you and serve you burek with a warm drink and a smooch on the forehead

Second of all,

Long, long yapping below 👇 🗣️

Now, I don't know if you meant Dracula as in in-canon Hellsing Dracula or Bram Stoker's Dracula, so I'll do both thanks to the power of autism. Vlad III isn't included bc I don't wanna.

Also this is just my opinion and mild analysis of both medias, not a properly structured essay.

Dracula (1897) - Bram Stoker

Ok so first of all, Dracula is one of my favorite books. I adore gothic horror and the spooky melancholic supernatural atmosphere of most gothic novels. I consider Dracula a masterpiece of horror, even with its faults, idc.

The epistolary structure of it makes the horror progressive and building, despite the fact that alarm bells ring out every single second of Johnathan's stay at Chateau Drac. The various themes of temptation and danger and oh my god the danger followed me home oh god oh fuck are fascinating, and the human group is interesting (also Mina was done dirty).

But also, it's an inherently queer novel, which, as a queer person who loves horror, i adore. Bram Stoker was really fucking queer, but that's something he hated about himself and suppressed; it's no surprise that the count's entire character is so fruity in itself, he represents Stoker's own repressed queerness. Drac is, in the book, inherently sexual - the exchange of fluids to turn pure, virginal ladies into hot deadly sexy vampire seductresses, and the fact that he protects Johnathan from his brides and is always so... Like That with him makes him so interesting.

The scene where the count takes great offense at being told that he has never loved by one of his brides is one of my favorites in terms of characterization, because Dracula doesn't have any need to bullshit at that moment. He could've just told her to stfu and back off, or even let them eat Johnathan. But instead he gets offended because the remark hit a nerve. He wants to love and to be loved, but his methods are rather... unconventional and predatory to the Proper and Orthodox humans of the story. Rip Drac, you would've loved (and been loved by) today's monsterfuckers.

We're gonna ignore the fact that the supercool and awesome expert amazing professor Abraham Van Helsing is Stoker's self-insert and that he's the one that (or at least greatly helps the group) hunt down Dracula, the representation of unorthodox desire and sexy, vampiric existence.

Dracula in the Hellsing universe

Ok so this one is interesting.

First of all I want to address how fucking funny it is that Alucard tried to fuck both Mina and her husband and fumbled them both but that's a topic I think he'd get mopey and very bitter about so let's not.

Hellsing Dracula is really interesting. In the novel, we're not given the count's pov (why would we? He's the villain anyway.) but in Hellsing we do, and we get it very often. We know his childhood, his identity, but most importantly his philosophy and personality.

Alucard's personality changed a bit over the years:

Vlad was arrogant out of desperation and survival; he had to be strong, because if he's not then he'll be crushed and his prayers won't be heard by the god he worships with battle, and he "can't be defeated, ever." He can't afford to be.

Dracula was arrogant because he was powerful and unchained. He was the master, he was a monster not leashed by morality or conventionality and religion and even his body was above what a human could ever do. He knew he was a threat and he relished in it. How could any of those puny humans beat him? The Count Dracula? But they did.

Alucard is a snarky asshole that didn't lose any arrogance but it changed shape; it's not that he can't be defeated, it's by whom. He carefully chooses his fancied opponents and clings to them like a leech, at least emotionally, and puts them on this pedestal where they're the only ones who may. Any other fight is just to pass the time. Those sniveling cowards can't defeat him, but those proud human warriors can. And he's the one who decides what's worthy or not, because he's a top-tier level threat. (When he tried to stop Anderson from using the nail, he basically told him Anderson was created just to defeat him.)

But let's get back to Dracula here for a sec. That arrogance comes with any vampire because that's what they do, they're hot and sexy and broody and egotistical, stealing blood and beauty for their own sakes. But he's also really damn sad. I imagine that he gets bored after a while, after the novelty of cool supernatural tyranny wore off. The count has all reason to be confident; he's on top of the food chain in all aspects.

But what do you do when you're at the top?

You don't have anyone with you. Those brides are companions, not significant others, hell they're not even named in the novel or barely acknowledged by him. Those humans are prey, not equals. He can try to portray himself as basically animalistic, he has emotions and he doesn't like that he has emotions. He's just really fucking sad.

Like. This is literally the most pathetic man I've ever seen.

The fact that he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against Abraham and his crew - on the contrary, he seems to admire them and puts them on a pedestal - shows that he longed to be beaten. He was tired. He needed novelty.

Now i don't know what fucked up experiments Abraham did on that poor thing but clearly he wasn't as powerful as Alucard is, but I doubt that increase in power changed much of anything to be honest. Man is just as miserable as he was before, but now he actually has a purpose - he has someone to serve, a master, someone to cling to.

And boy does he cling to them.

He respects Abraham and Arthur, both men who've undeniably hurt him, Abraham with the experiments and Arthur by leaving him to rot for 20 years (understandable, yes, but still I wouldn't like it if that was me) and yet he's shown them great respect. It's almost Stockholm syndrome (something that I don't believe in and isn't backed by science, but the idea stands) and his idea of any kind of functional relationship is unfathomably fucked up.

I won't dwell on Alucard too much since this is about Dracula, but it's actually rather easy to piece together his mental state and outlook on life with the few pieces we got. Someone please come help this man.

That's that!

I would also like to shoutout to @catsvrsdogscatswin for their wonderful characterization of Dracula and Alucard altogether, but mostly in their fic Kaleidoscope, which is unironically and not hyperbole my favorite fic on ao3 up to date.

Seriously. Go check it out.

[yorshie]

I can't stop thinking about this but...

I had a vision of the Bayverse turtle bros looking at their love after a really tough battle where they thought they'd die and when they find each other again its like the biggest bear hug and a face grab with them saying "Oh my god I'm so glad your okay I could just marry you!"

I know it's really a stretch since they could just say 'kiss you' but its my fantasy. I couldn't get it out of my mind!

Anyways I hope your having a wonderful Holiday and heres to a Happy New Year!

Hello! This got buried in my inbox, I'm so sorry, but I'm so glad you sent it in (i am a terrible person I'm so sorry you've probably been wondering where this was)

Oh My God I could totally see all four of them doing something like this. Just the spontaneous "I almost died here's my last name" and then run off without even getting an answer because there's still bad guy butts to kick and cities to save.

Leo would feel embarrassed about it later, would totally pull the whole holding a formal full bodied bow while begging for forgiveness moment. Silly turtle, we'll just have to tell him the answer was always gonna be yes. He'll go silent at the answer then start Panicking even more. (good panic. but he's gonna panic)

Raph would 100% pretend that it never happened. Nope. That sounds crazy couldn't have been me. Dunno what you're talkin 'bou- wait.... you said yes!?! You'll marry me!?! Cue he just spends a long time resetting and staring at you like you've lost your marbles. Secretly though inside he's fucking doing the conga out of excitement.

Donnie brings it up at a later date, curious if you held it against him or not. Clearly you're still talking to him though so it must not have been accepted too badly. Hm? You do want to marry him? Oh, well.... here's a list of themes he likes and his favorite colors and he's already found a place that does custom no questions asked tuxes and would you be ok with his brothers being his best men and can splinter officiate-

The moment Mikey's done saving the day, he's back at it. "Later, bros, gotta go get my answer from angelcakes! They're tots gonna say yes though so everyone get ready to act really surprised when we announce it later tongiht, kay? Later dudes!"

[silviakundera]

another post-script on A Journey to Love and why I am ok with the Sad Ending™

what's truly messed up but also the reason the series even WORKS is that ultimately all of these characters could have lived if they stuck to their original agenda and outlook.

The delegation squad originally are like fuck everything & everyone, we are here and probably gonna die for ONE THING - clear the names of (Qian: avenge 🔪) the fallen Liudao Hall comrades. They don't care much about the emperor except for a means to an end, aren't expecting to fix anything for the Wu state by going thru this bullshit, and they hate everything about An, who they have been playing spy games with for years, which cost them family members, and they just lost 80K soliders from the war.

But in the last string of episodes they found the bodies & their brothers, gave the death rites, and THEY HAVE THE EDICT. The original goals, they're all done! They could pretend "I do not see it" and be just like the border city officials who aren't taking action with the excuse that they didn't see proof of any invasion threat, blah blah it was implausible. The guys and the cowardly Wu emperor could just go home.

Ning Yuanzhou always planned to do this 1 final act and nope-out. He could have left with Ruyi and let the geo politics play out as they may.

Ruyi had already achieved her empress revenge arc. She'd even gone a step further to free the White Sparrows.

But each character makes their final choice to fight & die because they are not the people from the start of the journey. Every episode we watched lead them to be the people who would make this choice. Opening the princess YY & Ruyi's eyes to the world opened the Hall squad's eyes as well. Being introduced to people from An as fellow humans who can hurt and laugh and want. Finding allies and commonalities. Questioning why. Mentoring a young royal who wants to understand what leadership means and what do we owe to each other. Modeling for Ruyi what partnership and teamwork means. Getting that damn edict because the Scarlet Guard leader returned an honorable act with his own, stepping back from guarding the Wu emperor. Sorta adopting a volitile An duke with violent attachment issues.

Following their original objectives would have lead to a bittersweet but happy ending as the core ensemble ride off into the sunset with their victory and let An & Wu burn, who had taken so, so much from them. But it wouldn't have been true to the characters we got to know & saw change from the experiences we shared with them. The intentional, ultimate sacrifices underline the lessons learned and lend greater meaning to its themes.

[faegoddessog]

Ok loves, I've decided to try something to stretch myself creatively with this challenge. I'm gonna dribble my drabble and see if I can tie each theme into an actual story that I'll write day by day! We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Here is my ongoing masterlist of this project.

Check out the fun challenge here by @slowsweetlove . Feel free to jump in too!

Day 3: Throwback to ten years ago.

“You worked on the Carrie Diaries with me, right?” he asks, “you handled my wardrobe.”

“Hey yeah! Hi, it’s Austin, right?”  you feign trying to remember his name, like you could forget. 

When he speaks your name, you are shocked that he remembers, it was nearly 10 years ago. He opens his arms wide and you fall into his warm hug. You try not to melt into your shoes as every memory of crushing on this man floods your mind. 

Your favorite professor had set you up with the internship.  You had loved Sex in the City, in fact it was a big reason you had fallen in love with fashion and definitely why you had chosen New York City as the place to enroll in fashion design school. The chance to get to work on its prequel had you giddy, even if you were just the Assistant to the Wardrobe Assistant’s Assistant. 

 You had no clue who A. Butler was that you were assigned to, but you  decided to get ahead of the game and arrive a little early that first day to introduce yourself. You had knocked on the dressing room, and waited.  A couple  minutes later,  he had opened the door, shirtless and drying his hair with a towel, a pair of shorts hastily pulled on.

You were floored. He was absolutely stunning, and hair and make up hadn't even arrived yet. You realized in an instant why you had been assigned to him, even if you fucked up, he would make it look flawless. He had a sunny blonde look that was the ideal that the Hollister catalog was striving for.  Yet he was doing it effortlessly. He had the lean muscular build that young men often get before they really hit their stride and make gains. 

The real kicker was, he was so sweet. He had  invited you in as though you hadn’t almost caught him in the nude.  He offered you one of his bottled waters and actually asked you questions about your schooling and fashion. There was no question as to why he had been cast as the show's heartthrob.

From that point on you were hooked. The fact that it was your job to follow him around on set, didn’t stop you from feeling like a puppy.

It was the day that you were watching him kiss his co-star Anna over and over again on set that you nearly lost it. It also happened to be your last day, school was starting up and you wouldn’t have time to moonlight as someone interested in the film industry anymore. You were gonna march into his dressing room and tell him how you felt. No more worry about your stubborn professionalism. If you weren't working together, you were free to date! You’d even had a speech prepared. 

Who knew, maybe there was a chance for you. You certainly had noticed the little glances he directed your way, and every time he smiled at you, it felt like you were the only person in the world. Maybe he felt the same way.

Carrying the next days wardrobe as a reason to just show up in his dressing room, you opened the door with a smile. What you found, was him intertwined, lips and legs, with a shorter, dark-haired girl on the couch. 

“Oh hey,” he sat up blushing furiously, smoothing his shirt over the bulge in his pants,   “this is my girlfriend, Vanessa.” 

Later, you were sure that he introduced you to her. Why wouldn't he? You'd only spent the past two months following him around, helping him dress, talking about fashion and dreams with him in this very dressing room. . He definitely knew your name, he had to have said it. You didn't hear it though, you were in shock.

He was had a girlfriend?! He was taken?! And by Vanessa fucking Hudgens!? How had he never said this to you? You were furious, but also had no reason to be, you'd never told him. You had just  hung up the outfit, nodded to the luckiest girl in the entire world and left. You were heartbroken, an abandoned puppy.

“You just disappeared? I never knew what happened to you,” Austin says as he lets you go. “Are you busy? I’d love to catch up!” 

credit to @saradika for the graphic!

Always tag me: @purejasmine, @slowsweetlove, @richardslady121, @austinbutlerslovers, @tadpoleteef, @allittakesisoneflight

"I've been tagged by you before Lumiere!": @thisworldisntrealhoney,  @1nho,  @megangovier, @briaandthephantoms, @andro-inherdreamworld @callumsgirl @blombardo  @fefeisastar @hacunamy @nestito702 @denised916 @jayydep @r0m4nitcl0v3r @heyidc03, @secondchild-2, @flander42 @natural-born-rebel-spirit @lecosymood @kathrynzaragoza @bsunshinexo @jayydep @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke

[hellonerf]

suicide is discouraged in the workplace

im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out

OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now

old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever

actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really

i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad

both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)

they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people

if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.

ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)

or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)

throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now

[washipink]

A Beginner’s Guide to Tokusatsu

Hey, I know some of you are probably wondering about all these hero shows I’m constantly posting about. Maybe you want to try watching them too, but don’t know where to start? Well, look no further. I’m here to go over some accessible, and legal, means of checking out some of my favorite things!

for the OTHER means, you’ll have to DM me or send me an ask. I’m not getting my favorite sites shut down. You know the drill.

This guide will mainly focus on the big 3 Toku franchises, Toei’s Kamen Rider and Super Sentai as well as Tsuburaya’s Ultraman.

What Is Tokusatsu?

Tokusatsu is a genre of Japanese shows and movies that literally translates to “Special Effects”. Usually using a combination of monster or hero suits, practical effects like explosions, and light CGI.

That’s a REALLY wide net, so we’re just gonna focus on 3 shows today.

Super Sentai, Kamen Rider, and Ultraman. Thanks to @urotandersentai​ for drawing this neat little guide to the Visual Design of each of these 3 shows.

With that out of the way, let’s look at some individual seasons of these shows. Each one has a link to where you can watch it!

Please remember that at the end of the day, the best way to pick a show to watch is “Whatever looks coolest to you”. As such, I’ve included pictures!!!

Super Sentai

You might be saying, “This looks like Power Rangers!” And you’d be right!

Super Sentai, created by Shotaro Ishinomori and produced by Toei Productions, is kinda like Power Rangers’ Dad. PR has been using suits and even fight footage from Super Sentai to tell its own stories for 30 years. All this time, though, Sentai has been creating lovable and memorable casts of colorful heroes.

Generally, Super Sentai is about a team of heroes in colorful costumes that fight monsters every week to protect people.

There’s tons of shows in this series that are available FOR FREE.

CHOUJIN SENTAI JETMAN (1991)

The Earth is under siege from the Dimensional War Party Vyram. A special squadron is selected for an experiment to turn them into Super Humans with the powers of Birds, the Birdman Squadron Jetman. Vyram interferes with the experiment and kills all but one of the Jetman recruits. Instead, civilians are transformed and tasked with defending the Earth. The surviving recruit, Ryu Tendo, must convince 4 normal people with drastically different backgrounds to fight with him.

Jetman has the typical monster of the week format for Super Sentai, but when the team isn’t battling monsters, there’s some serious drama going on. The five of them are all drastically different individuals. It can make it hard to work as a team. Especially when it comes Black Condor. Dude’s a loose canon and an absolute bastard of a man.

KYORYU SENTAI ZYURANGER (1992)

“From hundreds of millions of years ago, in the age of the dinosaurs, five warriors revive in the present time!”

When the Evil Witch Bandora awakens from her slumber, intent on terrorizing the Children of Earth, Five warriors from Dinosaur Times are unsealed to undo her schemes!

This one is where the suits for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers came from, which might tempt you to watch it first. I kinda recommend against that, though. It’s a fine show but I personally found it a bit boring. The characterization of the main cast didn’t stick out as much compared to other Sentai.

GOSEI SENTAI DAIRANGER (1993)

I haven’t seen this one, but it’s focused on martial arts and one of their mechs is a cool dragon? so uhhh? Check them out? Their theme song fucks

NINJA SENTAI KAKURANGER (1994)

Ok listen I didn’t watch this one either. HOWEVER, I know that it’s about the descendants of 5 legendary ninja who have been fighting yokai for 400 years.

CHOURIKI SENTAI OHRANGER (1995)

This is the last sentai in the “I didn’t watch it” category. uhhh, watch it if the suits look cool. Sorry.

GEKISOU SENTAI CARRANGER (1996)

Five Mechanics use the power of Car Magic to protect the earth from the Universal Reckless Driving Tribe and teach children about Traffic Safety. This one’s a tad bit goofier compared to some of the others, but it’s a good time.

Also There’s a Yoda.

DENJI SENTAI MEGARANGER (1997)

Five High School Students are friends and pals! Together they investigate the mysterious goings on of a technologically advanced evil empire. They literally surf the net in order to bring peace to their city and the world!

SEIJUU SENTAI GINGAMAN (1998)

The warriors of Ginga Forest, the Gingamen, have protected nature for 132 Generations. This series follows the 133rd Generation of Gingamen, who battle alongside Starbeasts to stop the resurrection of the Demon Beast Ditanix!

KYUKYU SENTAI GOGOFIVE (1999)

This time, the rangers are an experienced team of rescue workers given super human power! They fight back Literal Demons From Hell that endanger the public. There’s a lot of focus specifically on rescuing civilians in this one, so if you’re an especially big fan of watching heroes... SAVE people, this is a great choice.

MIRAI SENTAI TIMERANGER (2000)

In the 30th Century, a gang of super criminals escapes to the year 2000. They are tracked down by the Future Sentai Timeranger, agents of the Time Defense Force. There, they encounter the Great(s) Grandfather of their departed leader and must convince him to fight alongside them for the sake of humanity.

HYAKUJU SENTAI GAORANGER (2001)

Veterinarian Kakeru Shishi can hear the hearts of every animal! He swiftly becomes enraptured in the adventures of the Gaorangers, who battle living embodiment of pollution. Also they live on a flying turtle! How cool is that?

NINPUU SENTAI HURRICANNEGER (2002)

What if there was a polycule of ninjas SO BAD at being Ninjas, they showed up to Ninja Class Late and were the only survivors of an attack on their school? These guys are the silliest little slackers, but they’ve got hearts of gold. Check them out? For me? :)

KAMEN RIDER

If Super Sentai is Power Rangers’ Dad, Kamen Rider is Power Rangers’ Uncle.

Kamen Rider was ALSO created by Shotaro Ishinomori.

Usually focused in on a smaller cast of heroes. A common theme in Rider is that the heroes are created by their villains and choose to rebel against them for the greater good, or will use the villain’s own powers against them.

Most Riders have a signature attack where they leap into the air and do a flying kick. These get INCREDIBLY flashy over the years.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot less Kamen Rider legally available than there are of the other two shows here. Don’t fret, it’s Easy Enough To Find Anyway.

As for the shows I can link you to, there’s

KAMEN RIDER (1971)

This is the original series.

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider.

Being such an old show, the effects can be dated and cheesy. It’s a bit of an acquired taste, but if you stick with it, I’m sure you’ll love it. You can watch most of the show in almost any order. The only really confusing part is that eventually, Hongo tags out with fellow escaped cyborg Ichimonji Hayato as Kamen Rider. (This was due to a real world injury to Hongo’s actor during filming. Don’t worry, he’s still kicking and he comes back later in the show!)

It’s also the longest Kamen Rider show, so I don’t fault you if you decide not to watch ALL of it. Even I haven’t yet.

If reading is more your thing, it’s based on a manga that you can find a DELIGHTFULLY well crafted omnibus of here

KAMEN RIDER KUUGA (2000)

Kuuga was the first season of Rider after about a 5 year break on TV. It’s something of a return to form.

It follows Yusuke Godai, a world traveler with 2000 skills, visiting his home town for the first time in years. He finds himself in the middle of an ancient civilization’s ritualistic murder game. Donning the mantle of Kuuga, Godai fights to protect the smiles of the city. He has a wonderful supporting cast around him including Detective Ichijou, who he goes on to share a rather homoerotic bond with.

Kuuga was my first Rider Series and to this day, it represents the Bread and Butter of Kamen Rider to me. This one’s a bit of a slow-paced Drama, but its focus is on what it means to help others. Every episode, I felt like I was actively being encouraged to be a better person. Godai’s got this infectious positivity that can’t help but make you grin.

KAMEN RIDER RYUKI (2002)

Ryuki takes a rather different direction from the other shows on this list. Instead of being about a single hero battling monsters, it’s about Plucky Young Journalist Shinji Kido being wrapped up in an all-out war between Kamen Riders. Donning the mask of Ryuki, he seeks to put an end to the bloodshed. The other Kamen Riders aren’t nearly as cooperative, though.

Don’t think that this plot means these characters don’t get tons of humanizing moments though. They’re all delightful to watch in action and you’ll end up truly questioning who will win? Is it possible to end the Riders’ battle? Will Shinji have to take a life after all?

I cannot recommend Ryuki enough. A lot of the Rider series from the early 2000s are Dramas that feature super heroes and Ryuki takes that drama up to a 10. (Plus, if you wanna ask where to find it, there’s plentiful side content for this show.)

KAMEN RIDER ZERO-ONE (2019)

In the far-flung year of 2019, Hiden Intelligence has revolutionized AI technology. The company manufactures Robot Assistants called Humagears. People in all walks of life and profession benefit from their aid. Unfortunately, something is causing Humagears to go berserk and attack humans.

With the death of Hiden Intelligence’s president, Failed Comedian Aruto Hiden inherits the company. He’s given the Zero-One Driver, which allows him to fight the corrupted Humagears as Kamen Rider Zero-One. With this new power in hand, Aruto seeks a way forward where Humankind and AI can exist in harmony.

Come to think of it, this one’s kinda topical. “AI” is a subject we really aren’t gonna be getting rid of any time soon. This show is one of the more recent rider productions you can find legally and it SHOWS. Every suit is sleek and clean, the visuals are striking and flashy. If nothing else, Zero-One LOOKS incredible.

KAMEN RIDER GEATS (2022)

Kamen Riders compete in a game called the Desire Grand Prix. By fighting monsters and saving people for points, the winner can have their greatest desire granted. Ukiyo Ace, the titular Kamen Rider Geats, looks to unravel the mysteries behind the Grand Prix and reunite with his long-lost mother.

Things get a bit more complicated than that, but I think you should see it for yourself. I can’t recommend Geats enough. its visual style is a direct evolution of Zero One’s sleekness and flashiness. It’s main 4 characters are some of my favorites in recent years.

SHIN KAMEN RIDER (2023) (Paid)

Takeshi Hongo is an augmented human being created by the evil organization Shocker. Escaping before his brainwashing can be completed, battles for humanity’s freedom as Kamen Rider. 

Wait, that sounds really familiar. That’s because this is the latest in a series of Tokusatsu Reimaginings by Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi. This is a new take on the story of Kamen Rider 1971, modernized complete with sleeker suits and stunning music all wrapped up in a 2-hour movie. It also has plenty of Easter Eggs for those of us who are fans of the 1971 series or the Manga it’s based on!

Be warned, this one’s gorier than the other stuff on the list. It’s mostly exaggerated blood splatters, though. I hate that kind of stuff and I’m able to rewatch this movie.

KAMEN RIDER AMAZONS (2016) (Paid)

Amazons is another adult reimagining of a classic Kamen Rider show, but it’s so far removed you don’t really need to know much about the original to enjoy it.

Amazons follows a group of exterminators who have been tasked with eradicating escaped cannibalistic experiments called, well, Amazons. The catch is that they work together with 2 Amazons, Momoru the Mole Amazon, and Haruka, the titular Kamen Rider Amazons. Both of them are tasked with asking themselves ethical questions. Is it so wrong for Amazons to exist? Is it possible to avoid eating people? If it isn’t, then is it WRONG to eat people to survive?

ULTRAMAN

Ok, look, I’m gonna have to make a separate post covering all the free Ultraman stuff there is. Theres SO MUCH OF IT available that I don’t know where to start. We’re about to hit the image limit. If that post is done, it will be linked HERE.

But for a basic idea, there’s tons of stuff on Tubi and the official Ultraman Youtube Channel posts new episodes of the currently airing show.

[waywardsalt]

salty’s back at it again here’s some more prompts or ideas or concepts or flavors or whatever for ganonbeck

Ganondorf being negatively influenced by the curse of Demise in any context, and this negatively impacting Linebeck in any sort of way, like it causing Ganondorf to focus more on his own hatred, making him more irritable, or straight up more violent

Bellumbeck is an issue, maybe in the same way he’s seen in ph, or in any other way where Bellum takes control of Linebeck, and this negatively impacts Ganondorf, maybe similar to the previous idea

Maybe they meet in the midst of Ganondorf antagonizing Hyrule

Ganondorf being tied up in politics and ruling while Linebeck is free to do whatever he likes, the two of them using this to their advantage (ganondorf having linebeck carry out plans that he can’t risk taking time to do, linebeck falling back on having close contact with royalty)

A conflict including Ganondorf, Link, and Zelda akin to OoT and TP is going on and Linebeck is involved in both sides (like dating ganondorf but also being friends with link. as those two are trying to kill each other)

Ganondorf being involved in some really big event or plan or conflict spanning all of Hyrule and Linebeck is doing his best to help despite being way out of his depth

Linebeck getting caught up in some kind of conflict but Ganondorf is too busy with his position or own business to directly help

Different flavors of Ganonbeck

Aka different dynamics and basic ship premises I’ve come up with for this stupid little crackship that has slowly consumed me ever since I discovered it.

Basically this is just a list of nebulous dynamics and premises and ideas (prompts?) I’ve come up with specifically for Ganondorf/Linebeck. Essentially, they’re each different ideas for varying backgrounds and setups and… whatever with the two characters.

Keep reading

[terraliensvent]

r we saying its problematic to post sfw artwork of a character with a nsfw alt cause thats rlly stupid

i agree the toyhouse should not have been linked without that art being maturity locked but as long as the art sent in the server wasnt nsfw which it appears it wasnt i do not see the issue.

not allowing sfw art of characters who have anything nsfw on their th seems rlly strict for no reason when they could just don’t allow the nsfw stuff or not allow the th to be shared

i would like to see both sides here fully bcuz no offense vibez is petty and aggressive af even if some of their points r valid and this feels like it could have been solved by asking them to just maturity lock the art in the th

post related

i think the bigger issue with it is the sheer hypocrisy of it.

smile demons is a species that has a history of being unsafe for minors and not taking proper action when dangerous people are reported, there are strong connotations to nsfw themes like leather play and bdsm, but its perfectly fine to post them in terra server because its (wrongfully imo) a “16+” species, yet symps (which are arguably more sfw) arent allowed because you cant advertise 18+ species. i find it pretty irresponsible that youre allowed to advertise a species that minors really shouldnt be playing around in (again, because of the suggestive theming and nsfw connotations, the fucking thumbnail for most of the myos is a character in leather gear), especially considering the fact we have proof of minors owning and interacting with others that have these fetish oriented characters

theres also the hypocrisy of being allowed to post characters/species with nsfw connotations when terra staff is so insanely strict about the nipple rule that you cant even post reference images without getting a warning

its, again, incredibly irresponsible to have someone on your mod team who argues leather gear and BDSM imagery is sfw, and who blurs the line to the point where they will link to a toyhouse with blatantly suggestive art and art where the character is wearing a GIMP MASK, with none of it being mature locked.

if youre gonna have a “minor friendly” server with adults in there too, you NEED to be as strict as possible with these things, the line shouldnt be blurred when it comes to NSFW shit because its incredibly easy for predators in discord servers to use plausible deniability to push the boundaries of what is and isnt ok to have around kids. ask yourself, would you be okay with seeing your 13 year old child be shown characters with gimp masks?

i think its one thing if youre just posting a normal sfw pic of your fursona who also has MATURE LOCKED nsfw on their profile. but its another thing entirely when youre posting a character with direct connotations to BDSM, who is part of a species that has heavy ties to BDSM and kink and has had issues in the past with minors, and linking that profile where none of the images are mature locked (and again, in the screenshot where they link the TH profile, a minor directly replies to them). you can bring up the hypocrisy again here, because terra staff HAVE taken issue with people posting th links in advertisements that contain art going against their nipple rule or other rules in the terra server. i also think its an problem that, when the issue is brought to tycho, he deflects and tells vibez to directly talk to the person theyre making the report against. thats just irresponsible from a moderation standpoint as well, and the cherry on top is banning them over this. they made a reasonable point, this character shouldnt be posted in the server, but because they bothered the mods enough in other situations this constituted a ban.

i said it in the og post, you can feel however you wanna feel about vibez being a bit of a dick lately with starting fights in terra server, but they shouldnt have been banned for bringing up the fact that characters like this should not be posted in the server. it seems like blatant loopholing around “no posting nsfw” and “no posting 18+ species.” like, in a fucked up alternate universe where succubuns was 16+ instead of 21+, would you say that should be allowed to be posted in a server full of minors that might want to join upon seeing the art?

[cartoonkitten]

my thoughts on 200% wolf because i have a lot of jumbled thoughts after finally seeing it after waiting 2 years

SPOILERS ‼️‼️‼️

i’m gonna tell you all right fucking now, that this movie is seriously so perfect and mind-blowing i’m not joking. it might be just me, considering a lot of outsider’s thoughts on it, which are now completely illogical to me cause i genuinely thought this movie was so fucking perfect in practically every way. like i’m shocked this comes from the same franchise i’ve been watching for 4 years (not in a mean way just in an insanely grateful way!!!)

OK I MUST ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. THE ANIMATION IS JUST AS FANTASTIC AS IT IS ADVERTISED. LIKE seriously!!! they weren’t lying when they said it was pixar-level, because IT IS. the production value for the entire film is incredible enough, but the visuals are seriously impressive. they are off the charts good!!! the animation is so beautifully, fluid, rhythmic and have such a good flow to them that make everything so eye catching. the character acting and attention to details in it every movement is so well thought out and contributed to each character well. the slapstick, bounciness, and toony nature of it too make it sooo fun!!! like the trailers and clips were one thing, but getting to watch the entirety of it, you just really get immersed with out visual stunning it is. such a thing to behold!

another thing i gotta point out is the score and pacing, which go hand in hand to me. the pacing in this movie is actually so refreshing and it all flows well together, with the score only amplifying every scene (seriously, the score in this movie is insane!). i honestly didn’t think any scenes dragged out too-too long or went by too overwhelmingly fast. of course, with the visuals and everything else (and me being autistic for this franchise) it’s easy to be distracted otherwise, but still. i actually found that very satisfying. it also makes the action and other really good scenes all the more fascinating to see.

even the beginning of the movie automatically set me up for a breathtaking experience. the pan over the moon’s surface, the moonspirits’ theme and role, along with moopoo’s introduction. the establishment already made me excited— AND FREDDY’S NARRATION AT THE BEGINNING IS STILL FUNNY TO ME. hardcore awesomeness. AND ALSO that whole blimp rescuing scene is genuinely so good and fun to watch, like the slapstick and action are so good and funny and such an exciting start. and freddy and batty’s dynamic is still my most favorite beloved thing ever.

"it’s easy for you to say, you’re 100% wolf!" and still, freddy is actually the realest one in the room. HES TRYING HIS FUCKING BEST. disabled trans allegory real.

AND WHEN HE BECOMES A WOLF HES LITERALLY SO SILLY. HIS MONTAGE OF SILLINESS. also moopoo tries to eat a crow for some reason after pissing off freddy and it’s even sillier. AND AGAIN, THE HUMOR IN THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY INCREDIBLY GOOD. LIKE it’s genuinely funny and works so well, especially with the slapstick.

THEN TO THE DOGS. though they’ve weirdly became irrelevant especially after being retconned from the series, seeing them again here is.. honestly awesome! like they’re actually really funny and entertaining in this movie!! TWITCHY GROWING A SOFT SPOT FOR MOOPOO AND ACTUNG LIKE HIS MOM IS VERY CUTE. also the traveling scene on the buses was actually so funny. AND BATTY BEING AFRAID OF BATS IS ACTUALLY IRONICALLY SILLY, especially with her friendship with gar-gar later on, which i love by the way, their scenes are so blessed (also gar-gar is so cute i love him, he’s so somft. his name reminds me of gor-gor from gwar).

ALSOOOO THE MOOPOO DREAMING SEQUENCE IS SO INCREDIBLE TO ME. LIKE ITS SO FUCKING SWEET AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT. I LOVE HIM AND HIS MOM AND THE LULLABY SHE SINGS HIM. EVERYONE HOWLING ALONG IS SOOOOO (PUNCHES THE FUCKING WALL).

also this is so silly to me but i love when max makes freddy do a trust exercise and he attempts to do a trust fall and plummets on the ground and she’s like "what are you doing? no, go fucking kill those dogs"

moopoo starts to become vaguely corrupted with the earth magic that lies within that area. and it’s leaving me to theorize that it probably only, or at least predominantly, effects anything that is or comes from some form of moon magic. that’s just my idea. cause moopoo didn’t use and spells he just started becoming evil for no reason so, yeah, that’s what leads me to believe that.

as for more extensive character thoughts. max is actually an incredibly good villain. she’s insanely badass, intimidating charming, funny and vicious, yet there’s a level of nuance with her— which is kind of why i genuinely would’ve preferred had they redeemed her if i’m being honest. i dug her almost character turn around, because it honestly wouldn’t be too far from realistic to push her in that direction. in character context, her betrayal /does/ kinda still make sense, but also with the fact that she’s humbled herself over the years serving her consequences, and even vaguely accepting her difference, she still admittedly does acknowledge that, despite not deserving the treatment she initially got, she still did bad things that hurt innocent people, fronting defensively out of hate or corruption (arguably both). it probably wouldn’t have been a very drastic change to the plot had they had her fight them after being "betrayed" first, show that freddy can use the magic and overcome the corruptions. then have freddy confront her on how "you can’t force respect, and you can’t earn respect either if you hurt other people that could have," still implying how him and moopoo are misfits like her, and respect her enough to search for her help. having her confront what she’s been too scared to admit all along, and be able to combat corruption herself. then she pushes the moon back into place. freddy goes to help moopoo, who is presumably still being corrupted by all the magic being thrown around, and thus, the rest can continue how it did. although, i’d prefer max not be given her wolf form back like freddy did. let her state accepting her consequence and that she’ll take her time re-earning her respect again. if this all makes sense. that’s really my main idea for max, i just thought it would’ve been cool, and also a subversion compared to all the other villains.

another thing i wanted to talk about it how i appreciate how they worked with freddy’s character. anyone that knows me knows how heavily critical i am of the first movie (which makes this incredible movie feel like a fever dream), and especially how i feel about the writing surrounding, weirdly enough, freddy himself. it was all kinds of disappointing and underbaked with the message totally mixed up. to be honest, this movie take that same message and redoes it more considerably i reckon. freddy doesn’t get inherently villainized for unrealistic reasons, and he honestly feels even more in character in this movie. like freddy is such a good protagonist and i feel like this movie molds him into the most fitting and well thought out way for him. i greatly appreciate it.

there is probably more i will be talking about later, but this is what my main thoughts are. this movie is fucking amazing and i can’t believe it’s real i’m gonna cry