satanstrousers

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my mum was googling for an article about why everyone in the lord of the rings film is white (like to be clear she was annoyed by this) and the google ai was apparently like “everybody in the lord of the rings is not white. gandalf is grey.”

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a watched nut never busts. or something. i dont fucking know what you people find funny anymore. 9/11.

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she has an iron grip on their finances

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“Poor Boromir! I could not see what happened to him. It was a trial for such a man: a warrior, and a lord of men. Galadriel told me that he was in peril. But he escaped in the end. I am glad. It was not in vain that the young hobbits came with us, if only for Boromir’s sake.”

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it's not mentioned in the song but in the corner of the piano man bar there is a mouse hole and inside that hole is a smaller replica of the bar staffed and patronized by mice who perfectly mirror all of the characters and they all say squeak us a song you're the piano mouse and mouse what are you doing here while they put cheese in his tiny jar

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imagine you're a 1/1 soldier hanging out with your other soldier buddies and an opponent casts like a cyclonic rift and you're like "haha guys back to the hand we go!" and they all turn and wordlessly give you the saddest look and you notice they're all named something like stalwart protector or legion initiate and you're just named soldier, and your skin starts to feel really thin and your insides feel hollow, and the cyc rift is moving down the stack and players are passing priority, you realize you're not even human like the others you're just a soldier. and then someone force of wills the cyc rift, and you're back to being fine, you untap, you're declared as an attacker, but you're a little more hesitant than normal because you know when you die there will be no grave for you

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if i had a time machine and i wanted to absolutely destroy an ancient emperor or king, i would take them to the shark tunnel of an aquarium. giving them an ozymandias view of their legacy would do nothing, they can see that all empires rot just by looking around them. but the shark tunnel of an aquarium is something they haven’t seen before, something no one has seen before, something magnificent that they could build with technology only slightly out of their reach. they would bankrupt their nation trying to recreate that shark tunnel for themself. their dynasty would collapse within three generations, and, if heaven is on my side, they themself will be eaten by a shark to the delight of generations of historians to come

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One time I ate probably way too many mushrooms and I could feel my trip going bad. So, I turned to my roommate and I said something along the lines of,

"I feel amazing but I feel like this sensation has a price and I'm about to pay it."

To which he responded, "What are you, catholic?" And that knocked me so firmly out of my mental state that the rest of the trip was hands down the best time I ever did mushrooms.

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bring his ass to a simmer

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General tumblr reminder, since some people don't know: If the person's URL has "deactivated" plus a string of numbers (a date) after it, that means that they manually deleted their own blog. It doesn't mean they were banned. Banned blogs don't have "deactivated" after them and will just be the normal URL you can't click on or interact with. They look very similar and function the same, but they were caused by two very different things.

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I realize I'm crazy late to this party but Disco Elysium is so fucking good literally every moment is either laugh out loud or deep introspection I've never seen a game do it better

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I am sure this has been done somewhere before but I drew it just in case

Bonus: Rook immediately before ripping up all the couch cushions in a panic

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Until the end of my life.

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keep up

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One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this

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there's a really funny 3d printing controversy going on btw.

if you don't know, there's a very popular 3d printing model out there called "benchy". this is used for benchmarking your 3d printer because it's a difficult print and will help test it out.

this is so widely used that people make their own little versions of it, remixing the 3d model to make benchy look cooler and stuff. however, a new company owns the benchy license. they are sending copyright takedowns to all those who wrongfully uploaded the benchy model.

of course, this is pissing off the 3d printing community greatly. everyone loved benchy and have used it for years. so someone on reddit decided to make a new model that is designed as a 3d printing stress test. one that works a lot like benchy, and people are freely able to edit it as they please. you know what they called it?

boaty.

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I'm collecting them like pokemon