#The pressure my entire family is putting on me is fucking killing me. They treat me as if I do nothing but just keep mooching off them

[jejciu]

starting to think that maybe I'll never find another job. Lol

[shopcat]

also now that it's fresh what we see of little azula in zuko alone really is not all that ... anything at all. like she's not horrifically evil or predeterminedly ANYTHING ... she's literally ten years old. she's acting like a ten year old ?! she trips her friend and pushes her big brother into a fountain. my brothers use to lock me in chests and there's literally an entire popular childhood game made up that's about tricking your friend into giving them a nosebleed by hitting them in the face. and her biggest crime is ... having a talent for firebending, which isn't actually her fault despite what people seem to strangely think, and parroting strategy and propaganda that her actual manipulative and evil father tells her that she clearly grew up around and doesn't just Randomly Know.

both of these particular aspects of her put her in a position of immense pressure by her father from an incredibly young age, in an incredibly volatile environment where she knows, and as the years pass she LEARNS, a slip up or indication of less than perfection could cost her more than just a basic reprimanding. people harp on for years about gifted children and the ramification of treating a child as more mature or capable than they are but can't seem to apply the pretty much perfect comparison even in this fictional way... that's crazy. it is literally her entire narrative arc and the way it just goes over people's heads is ASTONISHING.

like it seriously frustrates me the way people continue to villainise azula beyond logic to the point where there's this fanonised, warped version of her that exists (particularly as an even younger child than she already is) that's like, the antichrist figure to further woobify and "legitimise" zuko's various traumas and his childhood, which i find not only obviously fucking ridiculous and people should be ashamed of themselves but also like, you just don't have to do that. theirs was not a normal childhood and neither of them should be judged as a normal child, but also paradoxically, they are just normal children.

even if azula was in an average family, from a behavioural standpoint, and a LOGICAL standpoint, no, the ten year old little girl doesn't know the full capacity of what she's doing and saying and should not be judged as if an older child or adult were saying them, or as if she is entirely outside of the narrative scope. she teases zuko about how their grandfather was going to "kill him" and how he should get adopted now (which literally... all my siblings have done have people never had siblings...) which is an entirely normal way of acting out and picking fights. when ursa comes in she immediately acts innocent which no, doesn't indicate further malicious intent or "manipulation", it's... how any 10 year old would act if she got caught being naughty and picking fights. (contrary to popular belief zuko is not the main character both of the story and IN LIFE, and azula exists without her brother around – a child scared to get caught indicates a child who has been driven to be SCARED. in the household she lives in this applies tenfold).

she would have no actual reason to realise the outside forces actually at play, unlike their mother, and just like it's not her fault zuko is treated unfairly for being the "unfavoured" child it's not her fault that... adults were actually conspiring to kill her brother. which is a huge thing and is something almost intolerably inconceivable to most adults let alone children.

"but she was callous about her mom leaving" she wouldn't be able to REGISTER anything about their mother "disappearing" (or dying, at least to them at this point in time) within the... 10 hours? it happened in. she was lashing out again. she did not have a hand in "KILLING" her mother. and honestly from what little we did see of ursa, a predisposition to finding your own child unsavoury is kind of unwantonly cruel. these characters don't know that they exist in a narrative where azula is being set up as The Villain, who has to act Villainous, and honestly that's a boring fucking way to look at character behaviour anyway.

as much as i do agree that obviously it's a story and things happen for narrative enhancement, the enrichment of a story comes from the believability of a character's actions and even if that weren't true, half of what people as fans of something do is further that themselves by inferring what we can from what we see and therefore i think i'm right in thinking this anyway. you can't step up to the plate claiming you can handle depth and give me a puddle -_-. anyway. it is insanely unbelievable that a mother should write off her own child and favour the other just because her megalomaniacal husband has shown interest in cultivating his own child as a weapon, and just Plain Insane that so many people write off this character entirely WHILST giving all HER trauma to ZUKO.

also like, she's not even acting like a particularly spoiled princess COULD act like in the beginning she's just kind of an annoying kid. i'm not kidding when i say she's acting pretty much entirely normal. "she set her dolls head on fire" so has every other kid i've ever known. i'm actually going to lose my mind about how people have twisted her character into something so beyond any sort of empathy or consideration of what a child of a manipulative genocidal maniac who is shown to abuse his kids could possibly look and act like when we literally get it served up on a silver platter the entire show in the difference between zuko and azula. "azula always lies" because azula always plays the part to protect herself and the role she was manipulated into thinking she earned is like, the foundation of her character and it's embarassing the way i see so many people just like. fall for it. the inability to conceive any sort of love or compassion for a character that directly parallels the male character everyone trips over to analyse is really transparent and sad tbh. at the end of the day azula haters will be taters as i prosper in my garden of success of loving her and being capable of having a brain.

[underwaterdevil]

I saw your “Im looking for mutuals to be friends with” post and let me tell you, I have So Many Thoughts about Shigaraki

like, I feel like people don’t really think about how tragic of a character he is! I didn’t really like the way he was framed as a “man-child” because so many of his behaviors, especially relating to video games and action figures/plushies seemed like he was genuinely in so much distress that he was involuntarily age regressing and AFO was using his impaired state of mind to manipulate him into thinking he’s playing a big game of heroes and villains

I think it’s very likely that he was stuck in the mindset of a scared little kid well into his twenties and that AFO forced himself into the role of father in a way he felt that Shigaraki would think of as normal when he knew the situation Shigaraki was in.

this is also reflected in the way that Shigaraki treats Kurogiri like an older sibling, since at the time that AFO… adopted? kidnapped? Shigaraki, he was struggling with the loss of his big sister. In all likelihood, AFO started out by trying to remake Shigaraki’s family with himself as head of the family.

YES I LOVE PARAGRAPHS P L E A S E ENABLE MY SPECIAL INTEREST 🤤

a n y w a y

I totally agree with everything you said. Shigarakis character is so tragic when you get into it. Alot of people are desensitized to media because of how fucked up anime backstories can get, so i feel like Shigarakis situation isnt treated as seriously as it should be by most of the fandom.

Alot of his mannerisms and hobbies are definitely very childish and could indicate that certain things (the hands) could trigger him into a more infantile like state of mind. Thus making him more impulsive, violent, and less concerned with the consequences of his actions with concern to other peoples lives (please note im talking about early shigaraki). Alot of times children will exhibit violent behavior not out of pure malicious interests but because they're state of mind makes them more reactive. I think shigaraki gets triggerd in his everyday life and gets triggered to become violent. For example he gets incredibly violent and angry during stressful situations, more than the fellow leauge members. So there definitely could be an argument made that some part of his brain regresses when exposed to triggers OR part of his brain is less developed due to the trauma.

His interests also show he likes more socially childish things, especially when you take into consideration that hes in japan. If you look at the picture of his room in the manga we see plushes and figurines, which adults definitely collect aswell, but the ones he collects look more like action figures and not really collectable figures (thats just my opinion though) and also the plushy shows that he does have an interest in these more childish things because i kinda doubt AFO or Kurogiri bought it for him.

When people face as bad of trauma as shigaraki did (physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, killing his entire family) its not uncommon for them, purposefully or not, to regress to a younger age usually the age at which the trauma occurred. I think shigaraki, wether or not his hobbies have to do with age regression, is at a higher risk of developing this coping mechanism. He is obviously under stress alot. And he was kidnapped by AFO and groomed. Constantly under the expectation of "demon lord" and the pressure of iving up to AFOs potential. I could definitely see him locking his door getting snacks, playing games, looking at his figures and plushies, and feeling his mind slipping him into a younger mental age. But i can also see him get triggerd by any sudden movements or violence and get involuntarily put into a more regressed state of mind.

AFO definitely is trying to make a family for tomura, but not for tomuras sake. We saw that AFO loved his brother and family obviously is something he values so want to have tomura act as his child could provide him some sort of emotional satisfaction. (Along with the satisfaction of knowing his evil is working) And shigaraki definitely treats Kurogiri like an older sibling figure, i have an older sister and the way they interact reminds me of my sister and i. I think shigaraki may subconsciously replacing hana but i also think that tomura is just hanging onto the only person who has been there and provided for him (emotionally).

Sorry if this makes no sense or has mistakes im writing this as my sleeping pills are kicking in and while im watching YouTube so my mind is all over the place but nowhere at the same time lmao im just ranting aboit shigaraki putting whatever came to mind on this post. I might sit down and make an in depth and more well put together post about this ask because i think its super interesting i love tomura shigaraki so much omfg

Thank you so much for sending this ask!!!!

[lifeasatargetedindividual]

As my enemies continue fighting to steal, kill and destroy my voice, I remain expressing myself as I please, just as they do. It's amazing, the great battle of us Targeted Individuals just to be able to live as freely as our enemies. So far this morning, I've been remotely spit on, slapped, kicked in the back, taunted, and insulted, as I journal my thoughts and feelings. The almighty Attention-Whores always fight like hell to gain and keep my attention, as they are quite desperate. Anything that takes my attention away from them, they wage war against as they have nothing better to do than sit around on their asses all day talking crap into ultrasonic microphones and using their DEW's technology to try and batter me. I feel sorry for them. They waste their entire lives away......all to keep my attention 😂🤣 And in their minds, it's the coolest thing ever, when in actuality, it's quite pathetic and utterly cringy, like so unattractive 🤮 They're desperate for power over someone they don't even know, someone who does nothing to them, and they'll say and do anything for their little power-kick while fully expecting me to respect them. Yeah, keep on wishing. Of course I already know the other reason they're doing this is to run me back to my number #1 enemy, Lynn Patrick Brinley. I'm always being told to "give up" and just call him, because he wants me as his "wife." Ha. Yeah, you keep right on wishing, son. It's never going to happen. Never will I ever be with a man who condones having me treated like a piece of crap all day everyday by complete strangers and from time to time, even relatives who've been roped into his little hate campaign. For the second night in a row, I was raped in my sleep by Michael, one of my V2K operators and one of the Backyard Neighbors I've reported on many times before in the past. I have reason to believe now his girlfriend's name is Regina and daughter's name is Annette. I despise their entire family, as they are the ugliest most abusive family I've ever encountered, and I'm eagerly awaiting the day they are dead and suffering in hell for all the torment they are gleefully putting me through. Last night's rape was as realistic as the night before--not just a nightmare. I fully recognized his voice and his girlfriend's as I was held down in the bed. This time it was done vindictively, as I'd spend most of the day before griping over it in shock and trauma mode within my mind. Their motto is the same as Brinley's: the more I complain about it, the more they will do it until I "grow" to accept it. Yet they all expect my full obedience and respect of them. Yeah, keep dreaming. All involved also continue in playing up my ex-girlfriend's lies about me wanting and being with her man in the past. A complete lie, everyone knows it, yet I continue being punished for it as if it's true. They insist its all just a "game" and part of my "schooling" yet are also implying they are very much aware they are tormenting and persecuting me over a sheer lie. All day everyday this lie is pumped up the most via V2K, and occasionally I'm told to blame my ex-girlfriend. The fact the man I once loved has given the greenlight to have this woman's lies beefed up against me shattered any lingering desire to ever be with him. Someone who truly loves you isn't going to join up with your crazy, hellish ex all for the sake of a "game." Lynn Brinley fucked up with that one, majorly. He can keep pumping up the masses with pressuring me into being with him all he likes, it'll never happen, I'm putting down a $2,000 bet on that one right now. Intolerable cruelty. As a Christian, I have to forgive them all, but I don't have to like nor ever join up with their demonic persecution alliance. And I never will. They all got a peek of that in the other part of last night's hellish nightmare experience. What has Light to do with Darkness as the scriptures state? Absolutely nothing. So I never will be one of them. Lynn Brinley and all his troll buddies can kiss my ass.

[sa4phire]

I don't know how to cope with who I've been because I've been undiagnosed my entire life.

Imagine living for more than two decades as bipolar schizoaffective and being unmedicated.

Imagine the absolute yoyo effect, being so depressed with no end in sight and no hope of ever getting better and yet still finding a way to stay alive... to not kill yourself.

Then, imagine self sabotaging every single last good thing for yourself because your mania (with psychosis) controls you to the point of mind breaks resulting in two hospitalizations.

Imagine ruining the only relationship that ever mattered. I sob as I write this, but this is the only place I feel safe enough to be myself. Not even on pen and paper can I put this into words.

My husband has been with me since I was 15. I can hardly even begin to wrap my head around how toxic, abusive, and straight up hateful I have been to that man, and all he ever did was love me unconditionally.

Before medicine, I was cunning and deceitful. I wore the face everyone wanted to see, no matter who it was. Now, after this latest mind break, the last two to three months have been a blur. I've been manic since January of this year, and I am only coming down now because of my array of medications.

It is terrifying. I am terrifying. I do not even know who I am.

Being in a constant state of disarray since literal birth (my mother assumed I was just a difficult child) and becoming an extreme people-pleaser due to her inability to cope with having an unmedicated child...

I have ruined so many friendships by being too intense.

I know everything happens for a reason, but my insanity that only grew over time...coping with the fact that all those nights I laid in bed crying myself to sleep because I didn't know why it had been years, and the depression that was so normal around ages 10-13 (that went away for everyone else) stuck with me.

Imagine slowly descending into insanity, then one day you meet this man who is everything you've ever wanted, and your entire life is changed forever. You stick with him through high school even though he goes into the Army, and eventually marry him... only to suffer from your mind literally breaking from the pressure of being bipolar schizoaffective, unmedicated, and the stresses of being a normal adult who IS NOT NORMAL.

I'm an anomaly. I should be dead by this point in time. It's a miracle I have lasted this long with my condition unmedicated for SO long. I am lucky to be alive, and my mother and I were talking just yesterday about how lucky I am to have had such a strong family. Otherwise, I truly believe I would be dead (suicide/overdose). It explains why I struggled so much at my father's house. It explains why I treated my husband as well as others around me growing up with such disdain.

Hell, I unknowingly drank enough tequila to kill me one time in high school one night because I couldn't cope any longer. I am some sort of alcoholic. I struggle to drink responsibly. I didn't actively have the intention to kill myself, but I tried once by drinking 9 shots of tequila at 9 am after being on a bender for days when my husband went to the field. This was November of 2021. Like. I actually attempted suicide. I fucking laid on the train tracks and begged god to help me before running away from my husband in utter psychosis to my closest family to get help for myself.

It's like I have lived my entire life on autopilot. Literally. Now, I've cheated on the only man who could ever love me, run away from him in another horrible bout of psychosis, been hospitalized for the second time... sure. I am doing amazing compared to where I was before. But I can promise you, if I wasn't on meds that keep me stable, I'd have killed myself. There is nothing more in this world, not one single man can ever compare to my husband. I knew that from the moment I met him. Why the fuck do you think I married his ass. It wasn't for his looks.

Don't get me wrong, my man is handsome, sexy, and downright ravishing. However, I married him because I knew in my soul he was a good soul. He had his struggles, responsibilities, and such, but no one on this Earth has ever made me feel as he does. He lights up my soul like the mania does. He makes me feel like liquid gold is seeping through my veins. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to kill myself, and I even wrote letters. Twice. But when I got to his... I just couldn't do it. It was like... he literally is the glue that has held every broken piece together for the last five years.

Imagine fucking that up. Imagine being so twisted inside, not knowing how to be an adult or even a normal human being, and giving up on medication, turning to weed (not the best for this mental illness, but it curbed the manic symptoms and eased the depression... until my mind broke that is). I'd been smoking on and off since I was 14, so I knew it helped. I did the best I could without having a proper diagnosis. With no support, in a state 3 hours from my nearest family member, yet 14 hours from my mother and brother (who are my true family) and my friends.

When SZA said, "Don't you know I did it all for us, I did it all sober, I did it all on no drugs..." I fucking feel it in my soul. I fought depression. I fought mania. I gave the fight everything I had for so long, I tried so hard that my mind literally broke (sobbing again). Twice. My mind snapped like a twig this time around. My husband... my husband doesn't deserve what I have done to him over the years.

It is selfish of me to even continue being in his life, but what else could I do? He is the reason I breathe.

Just had to vent.

[liecoris]

「Out of all the kindness I’ve shown you, this is how you treat me？ That’s quite cold even for you, Mukuro-chan〜」 

Came the very the sarcastic croon of a yakuza captain as he crouched in front of Mukuro, who was held in place by two other yakuza, one having a firm grip on her hair, one of her arms and firmly planted a foot on one of her legs, whereas the other just kept a firm grip on her other arm and had their foot planted on her other leg, keeping her in place。 

「Hooh〜 you’re speechless now？」 the captain sneers, pressing the knife he was wielding onto her cheek, earning a nice glob of blood and spit to his face from Mukuro。

The expression on his face morphed from a mocking smirk to a glare as he wiped the bloody spit off of his face。

「My, my, how feisty,」 letting out a short chuckle, before gripping the knife a little tighter。 「First you go against my family, the same one that got you where you are today, and now you disrespect me。」 Bracing herself, Mukuro expected to get a nice cut across her face or neck from the way he held the knife as well as where the knife was held. But when she felt the cold steel of the blade slip under the strap of her dress, dread filled her。 

      「What a lovely dress, must’ve cost a pretty quite a bit〜」 he coos as the blade makes easy work of the strap, 「oops~ how clumsy〜」  As he began to move the knife to the other strap, Mukuro tried her best to pry herself away from the grip of the other two, only to have the pressure from their holds increase enough for her to stop from the pain。

「Careful now, don’t want an accident to-- uh-oh」 Acting as if he didn’t purposefully do the same to the other strap, the entire top of her dress fell down, exposing her. Which caused the captain to let out a wolf whistle。

「Now when did you get these〜？ How exotic〜 shame your lover can’t enjoy them anymore, huh？ You know, seein’ how I killed him and all〜」 Reaching out and toying with both piercings on her chest with a gross smirk on his face。 Mukuro would’ve pulled away but with the grip he held on the piercing itself, she feared that the entire piece of jewelry would rip out of her。

Keeping a glare focused on him, Mukuro watched his face, hating the expression he held。 She could never fully get a read on what he was planning but the dread that grew in her only caused her anxiety to grow。 

Bracing herself again, Mukuro prepared herself for the worst。 Then a sharp pain from her chest told her that what she feared was correct, she didn’t have to look down to know what happened and the sound of two pieces of surgical steel hitting the concrete ground only solidified what had happened。

「I sure do have butterfingers tonight, don’t I？」 He, along with his two underlings, chuckled。 「And yet you still don’t say anything? What do I have to do to get to hear that sweet voice of yours, hm？」

「Die,」 Mukuro whispers, her glare increasing tenfold as tears of both anguish and hatred begin to stream down her face。 

「Aww don’t cry, sweet Mukuro-chan〜 They’ll heal and you can get new ones,」 he once again coos and pats her head, 「be thankful it’ll just be that and not any more scars on your already ruined body。」 Getting up, he pockets his knife and signals for his underlings to let her go, and when they do she slumps to the floor, her arms wrapping around her chest。

「You’re free to go now, Mukuro-chan。 Don’t try and fuck us over again, yeah? Or else you’ll be getting worse。 Leave the way you came, don’t let the door hit you on the way out。 Have a good niiiight〜」 Waving his hand dismissively, he and the other two men leave her in the room。

Mukuro remained kneeling on the floor for a few more minutes, trying to brace herself to get over the pain。 She wanted to get home, then she can figure out how to fix this and hope she could get them re-pierced in the future。 She had gotten those to help boost her self esteem, and now that they were torn out, she felt awful about herself, her body, and the situation she put herself in. Intrusive and other ugly thoughts wouldn’t stop echoing in her mind。 

Keeping her arms folded across her chest, Mukuro slowly rose from the floor。 Her pace was slow as she went for the exit, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks as she used her shoulder to push the door open。

Thankfully, it was rather late at night, so there wouldn’t be a ton of people out on the streets of Shinjuku but still, she’d keep to the side streets and alleyways as she made her way back to her apartment。 At least with the current temperature out, if people were to see her, they’d assume she was just hugging herself to keep herself warm and not want to investigate further。

However, she really wished she had driven here instead of walking。 That way she could at least hide away in her car for a moment, hidden from sight by tinted windows。 But instead she had to trek a few blocks, and instead of using the front door, she’ll have to use the elevator in the car park to get to her apartment, to further hide her appearance from anyone else。

So far, Mukuro hadn’t crossed paths with anyone yet, and if someone were to walk past a mouth of an alleyway where she needed to cross the street at, Mukuro would turn her back and pretend to be on the phone as she waited for the stranger to walk away far enough for her to safely cross。

She kept her pace quick and when she got to the home stretch, her speed increased to a run, not caring if that drew any attention to her as she sped down into her apartment’s underground car park and bee lining for the lift doors。 Pressing the button with her knee, since using a finger would definitely get blood on the button, she didn’t have to wait long for life to appear。

With how late in the night it was, barely anyone was coming or going from her apartment complex, which made getting to her apartment from the complex’s car park a breeze。 

Getting inside the lift, Mukuro fought the urge to slink down onto the floor, she’d saved that for when she got into her apartment, she didn’t want to be seen like that were someone else to get on the lift after her。

When the lift stopped a few floors beneath her, Mukuro swore she felt her heart stop for a minute, but when the doors opened and no one was there right away, she quickly hit the ‘ close door ’ button and disregarded the call for someone to hold the doors。 Breathing out a sigh of relief, the lift ascended the rest of the way without any problems and once arrived on her floor, Mukuro ran straight to her door quickly hitting the code to get in。 

As soon as the door shut and locked behind her, Mukuro crumpled to the ground and let loose the sobs that she was holding back the entire way home。 The cold, numbed the pain when she was outside, but when she was in the warmth of her home, it all came rushing back。

She felt ugly, absolutely ugly, once she’d get herself patched up, she’d destroy the burner phone she uses for business and when she’s healed up, she’ll get another。

Right now, she just wanted to cry and scream and sob until her throat was raw。

[becca-e-barnes]

Take Care of Everything

This is my first ever fic for a writing challenge omg I’m so excited! Huge congratulations to @balenciagabucky for hitting 3K followers!! That’s such a huge milestone and thank you for organising such a fun challenge! So excited to read the rest of the submissions 💗 @dulceslibrary

Pairing: Personal Assistant! Bucky Barnes x Lawyer! Reader

Word Count: 3.5k maybe?

Summary: There’s only one thing in your life that your PA doesn’t take care of

Warnings: Smut, praise kink, pet names, protected sex (go me for writing something safe sex for a change), court mention, lil fluff, mile high club

Minors, do not interact.

“Un-fucking-believable.” You couldn’t stop the roaring boil of the blood in your veins, storming out of the court room with your long black gown billowing behind you. Being one of the top barristers in the country brought it’s fair share of high profile cases but this one had got on every last nerve in your body and you were out of patience.

The case itself wasn’t the problem. The issues were straightforward enough and applying law to fact, at the most basic level, your client had done nothing wrong. It should have been essentially cut and dry. The problem was the opposing council and the lack of intervention from the judge.

The prosecution had torn your witness to shreds. You had tried to warn the poor woman beforehand, as you did with every client, but on the stand, she had just crumbled under such an intense and downright ignorant line of questioning.

It shouldn’t have even been allowed in the first place. The judge should have stepped in and clipped the opposing council’s wings but the damage was already done and now you would have to pick the pieces up when court resumed on Monday.

“How did it go?” Your personal assistant must have been leaning outside the courtroom door for who knows how long, his suit somehow as neat and pristine as always, despite the fact it was the end of the day.

“Fucking dreadful, Terry was an asshole to Andrea and she lost it. Should’ve known he’d pull shit like that, he’s always a cunt on Friday evenings.” You practically spat the words out, heels clicking on the floor as you made your way down the marble hall to collect your things and begin to put an end to this miserable week.

Part of you almost wanted to laugh at how Bucky had developed the skill of being able to keep up with your pace without even having to look up from his blackberry. That only came from years of practice.

“Terry loves playing with fire. Fuck him. If anyone can put him in his place on Monday, it’s you.” Bucky still hadn’t taken a second to pull his nose up from his phone, his steps landing in perfect time with yours until you reached the chamber at the end of the hall, throwing the heavy wooden door open in front of you. Bucky filtered in behind you of course, closing the door behind him before slipping his phone neatly into his pocket.

“Thought your doctor warned you about your blood pressure? You gotta calm down.” Bucky’s face showed he was genuinely concerned, his eyebrows knitted together in disdain but there was nothing new there. He had worked for you for years now and truth be told, he was damn good at his job, not to mention the fact he was the closest thing to a friend your busy schedule allowed you to have.

“I’ll calm down when I’m dead. We need to get to the airport if we’re going to make that flight for the convention.” You pulled your wig off, setting it neatly into the little wooden closet before removing your gown, hanging it up alongside the other worn ones from earlier in the week so they could all be dry cleaned and back in the closet for Monday.

“It’s a private jet honey, it can’t leave without you.” Bucky laughed softly, knowing you were worked up and hoping a little joke would ease the tension.

You had to admit, you were so thankful for Bucky. He was devoting the prime of his life to making sure you had everything you needed, your life only felt so seamless because Bucky made it that way. He didn’t just manage your calendar and fetch you coffee like any other PA, he lived and breathed you. He went everywhere with you, crashing in your spare room at least three nights a week because you had both worked yourselves to exhaustion. He never missed anything. He had a solution for every problem, nothing was too big for him to tackle and given the chance, you two could absolutely take over the world one day. You confided in him, and he in you, getting to know every tiny detail of his life in the past few years, right down to that fact that neither of you had seen your family or been on a date in months. Hell, he’d went as far as buying you a packet of batteries one Monday after a particularly long and stressful court hearing.

“Here, got you these.” He had smiled mischievously as he handed them over to you, chuckling a little at your confused expression. “For your vibrator. Looks like it’s gonna be a long week.” You took them gratefully, joking with him that you really would need them, tucking them into your handbag and damn were they appreciated. The following morning he had asked how you had got on and you could only laugh. You didn’t tell him how thoughts of him had come into your head right as you had gotten close. Similarly, you didn’t tell him how painfully intense your orgasm had been when you imagined him on the bed with you, watching you come apart against the plastic toy. You could just picture his hungry gaze, watching how your body gushed as you released, nipples pebbled from arousal and your lips parted, a single whimper of his name escaping you as you rode out your high.

No, that was a little secret you would keep to yourself. He didn’t need to know your dirtiest fantasies. He was an employee. An employee that often arrived at your bedroom door shirtless and smirking, holding a stack of freshly made pancakes on the mornings he stayed over at yours but an employee nonetheless.

—————————

The cab ride to the airport would have been silent if it hadn’t been for the gentle tapping of your thumbs and Bucky’s racing over your respective phone screens. You had at least two dozen emails left to reply to and your eyelids were beginning to get heavy, the body heat radiating from Bucky in the cab’s back seat making you drowsy. You took a second, squeezing your eyes shut to force away the tiredness before going back to typing relentlessly.

The trip to the airport was short, Bucky had competed the preflight checkin so you essentially stepped straight onto the plane, taking a seat by the window, with Bucky taking the one opposite you. Takeoff was smooth as always, your phones picked back up as soon as it was safe to do so. But with the glowing screen came a fresh wave of drowsiness, your eyelids threatening to close of their own accord.

“Shit, Buck did you pack my -“

“Glasses? Left side of your bag, under the tissues.” Bucky finished your sentence for you, not looking up from his phone.

“And my -“

“Eye drops? In your makeup bag.” There it was again. What surprised you most was that Bucky didn’t even need to see you to work out exactly what was wrong.

“Do you really just take care of everything?” You huffed out a little laugh, digging through your bag, finding both your glasses and eye drops exactly where he told you they would be.

“Everything but you.” He chuckled, finally setting his phone down.

“What do you mean ‘everything but me’? All you ever do is take care of me. You organise my shopping and dry cleaning for god’s sake.” The whole notion of Bucky doing anything but taking care of you was just insane because you sure as hell didn’t have time to do any of those things for yourself. That’s what you hired him for after all.

“I didn’t mean like that. I meant like really take care of you. You’re so damn up tight.” You knew by the little chuckle that accompanied his words that he meant it affectionately but it still made you slightly defensive.

“I’m not up tight.” You protested. Normally you would’ve let harmless comments like that slide but the combination of your shitty day and the fact you were so sleepy made it impossible to not seek out conflict. This was the life you were used to after all. A life of treating almost everyone you came across adversarially. It was second nature to you at this point, inside and outside the courtroom.

“Come on, you seem to forget I am your calendar. You think I don’t know you haven’t gotten any in months? You should get laid, that’s all I’m sayin’. Wouldn’t kill you to have an orgasm every once in a while.” The words roll off his tongue like it’s nothing and truth be told, if you were in better form, this would have been a perfectly normal conversation between the two of you. Neither of you were particularly shy when it came to talking about your hookups.

You hated how right he was. You hated that you hadn’t been touched in months and Bucky knew that. You hated that most days, you were too exhausted to bother tending to your own needs. And you hated the warmth spreading through your body at the thought of Bucky finally taking care of you.

“Don’t know Buck, an orgasm might actually kill me with my high blood pressure.” You needed this conversation to turn more light hearted and you needed it fast, before your head became so clouded with need that Bucky picked up on it.

“I mean, I handle everything else for you. Wouldn’t even mind if that became part of my remit.” You almost couldn’t believe how carefree and nonchalant this whole conversation seemed, Bucky hoping you missed how he cock twitched in his trousers. Of course you didn’t. You missed nothing.

“If what became part of your remit?” You quizzed firmly, trying not to give anything away but knowing your eyes had gone big and doe-like, entirely of their own accord. This was a dream come true.

“You. Actually taking care of you. However you need.” His stare was intense, watching you keenly to determine whether he had horrendously overstepped and was about to get fired.

“Why would you even want to?” Your voice carried every single ounce of confusion you were feeling, staring Bucky down with an intensity that mirrored his own in that moment.

“You’re far too smart to act dumb.” He replied softly, knowing it was all or nothing now. If he was getting fired, he might as well be honest. His head tilted downwards, drawing your attention to the bulge growing in his suit trousers. Years worth of need and longing bubbling over all at once.

“If you want this, tell me. If not, that’s fine. But it doesn’t need to be anything romantic. Can be just sex. Whatever you want.” He was doing his very best to stay calm, his brain finally catching up with his mouth and considering that he was now in way too deep to just apologise and about to get his ass handed to him at thousands of feet in the air by one of the best legal minds in the world.

You’d never wanted anything more in your life. It was almost like Bucky was dangling himself in front of you. A piece of meat before a lion that could be snatched away at any second. You weren’t going to give him the chance, professionalism be damned. You were out of your seat and onto his lap in a flash, your pencil skirt hiked up to allow you to bracket his legs in your own.

“Are you sure about this?” Your quizzed softly, giving him one last chance to back out before you lost all self control.

“Do I feel like I’m not sure?” His voice was almost a choked whisper, his hands landing on your hips to press you down against his stiff cock.

You’d never seen him like this before. Horny and needy and losing himself in the feeling of you on top of him after years of fantasies. He had tried to curb the fantasies but his body didn’t allow him to. You were all he could think of on those lonely nights, a hand wrapped around his cock, groans and whimpers escaping until he came over his hand, a cry of your name pulled from his lips. He thought you would never know. And now here he was, the woman of his dreams perched in his lap, asking to be taken care of. Even the filthiest parts of his brain couldn’t have come up with this.

He could never have dreamt how you moved forward so tentatively, your lips hardly even touching his. He was used to seeing you confident, in control, the calmest person under pressure and yet here you were, unsure of yourself for the first time, he imagined, in your life. You both kept your eyes open for a little while, your lips sliding together gently, getting a feel for one another, up until your teeth sank into the plush skin of his bottom lip and an actual groan left him, his eyelids fluttering shut. The sound could’ve made you quiver with need. It was so alarmingly sexy, knowing your huge, sexy PA could be taken apart with the smallest touches. Suddenly, this seemed to be as much, if not more, for Bucky’s benefit than your own.

“Thought this was for me, hm?” Somehow your condescending court voice was pushing him over the edge. You felt one of his hands come up, tangling in your hair while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling your core flush with his clothed cock. He kissed you with a burning intensity that made your head swim and your pussy throb, loving how he was taking control but still hurtling further into a breathless, needy state.

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve thought about this. Didn’t think we’d be joining the mile high club.” He huffed out a little light laugh, using his grip on your waist to help you roll your hips over his growing erection.

“Couldn’t have been thinking about this for as long as I have.” You smiled softly, letting out a little gasp as his cock nudged you just right through your panties that you were sure had been soaked through already. His eyes went wide at your admission, his dick twitching deliciously underneath you.

“Fuck, that’s the hottest thing I’ve ever heard.” He whispered, making you laugh at how eager he was.

“I won’t be able to wait until we’re off this plane Bucky. You gonna fuck me right here?” You teased him softly, your faces so close, your tiny hands running down his pristine shirt, toying with the buttons. When you began to graze his chest gently with your nails, it was like a switch flipped inside Bucky. He thrust up against you with a growl loving the yelp you let out, one hand now squeezing your ass, the other massaging your breasts through your blouse.

“Gonna fuck all the stress out of you. Gonna have you leavin’ this plane leakin’ and cockdrunk.” Somehow you didn’t even doubt his words and you had to admit, it did sound quite appealing to give up the control for a while, just letting Bucky take over.

“Gimme all you’ve got Barnes. Gotta make it worth my while or this is gonna be the last time you get the chance.” You couldn’t help but tease him before instantly realising that might have been a mistake, his lips burning hot as they worked against your own, needy, insistent and as always, eager to please.

His mouth was relentless to the point that you found yourself practically dry humping his cock, your hands laced in his hair while his untucked your blouse from your skirt, greedily holding onto any skin he could reach. He tasted of peppermint and coffee, smelt like the expensive aftershave you were so fond of and felt like a man who’s only purpose in life was to make you cum until it hurt.

“Need you. ‘Nside me. Now.” You managed somehow to pant the words out between the fervent slide of his lips over yours, his tongue dipping in to taste you, never wanting this to end.

The feeling of your much smaller hands landing on his belt buckle made him look down but he could’ve cum then and there at the sight that met him. The front of his suit pants were slick with your mess, proof that he wasn’t just dreaming and you really were needing this just as badly as he was.

“You’re so fuckin’ ready for it aren’t you? Look at the mess you’ve made. Why didn’t we do this years ago?” He was groaning, shifting in his seat to help you get his trousers and boxers down. You couldn’t help how you gasped a little at the sheer size of him, his cock thick and long, the head slick with precum, proud veins running up his shaft. He looked Godly. Two firm pumps was all it took to have his head thrown back against the plush leather seat, cursing and bucking against your hand, aching for more.

“I’m sorry Buck, I can’t wait any longer.” You panted, his lips attached to your neck now, kissing, licking and sucking all his frustration into your skin. If there was a time for foreplay, that wasn’t it. Neither of you had the patience right now.

“Thank God, needa feel this pretty pussy.” He all but whispered as you lined him up at your soaking entrance.

“Shit Bucky, you got a condom?” You asked anxiously, stilling yourself at the last second.

“My bag, zip compartment at the front.” He replied quietly and sure enough, that’s exactly where you found a packet. Tearing the wrapper off, you slid it down his length earning another groan from the huge man who was practically shaking beneath you.

“You think of everything.” You giggled, finally beginning to slowly sink yourself down onto him. Your laugh quickly turned into a breathy moan, your breath mingling with Bucky’s and you noticed how he made a very similar noise. You pressed yourself down slowly, your body having to adjust to the stretch.

“So tight, fuck. Shit, never felt a tighter pussy in my life.” He whispered when you were finally seated on top of him. He pulled your skirt out of the way to appreciate just how connected your bodies were in that moment. His cock just seemed to fit perfectly, so snug you could’ve cried as you began to slowly work your hips against his.

“Oh my god Bucky you’re huge.” You should’ve been embarrassed by how high and needy your whine came out but right then and there, you didn’t care.

“It’s all yours sweetheart. Gonna fuck you so good you never need another cock again. Gonna ruin anyone else for you - fuck.” Under normal circumstances you would’ve chastised him for being so overconfident but feeling how his cock nudged your sweet spot perfectly, you thought he might actually be right.

“Gotta fuck you angel, can’t just sit here anymore, ‘s driving me crazy.” He just couldn’t keep himself still any longer, lust burning behind his eyes in a way you had never seen in him before. You lifted yourself up slowly, feeling his length slipping from you, your walls fighting to pull him deeper until you sank back down, taking the whole length at once. The strangled cry that left Bucky was incredible. You repeated your gentle rise and fall, setting a decent pace. Every sharp fall of your hips tore a needy gasp from both of you, the sweetest spot inside you throbbing from the almost constant onslaught. It was everything you craved. Bucky was grasping at every curve of your body, lost in the feeling of your soft skin and the grip of your silky walls and the smell of your shampoo as you rode him, building speed as your pleasure built in your lower belly. The wet sounds escaping where your bodies were joined was nothing short of obscene, only fuelling Bucky to meet each of your thrusts with his own.

“Oh my god, I -oh oh- I can’t, can’t take it Bucky please.” You groaned, manicured fingernails digging into his chest.

“I got you honey. ‘s okay. Gonna take such good care of you when we get to the hotel. Just want you to cum once for me now, okay? Take the edge off. You feel so good wrapped round me. You know what else I can feel? Your pretty pussy is leakin’. Feel you drippin’ down over my balls. Never felt anything so hot in my ‘ntire life.” His fingers fell to your clit, rubbing neatly as if he had been trained to do nothing else. You were on cloud nine, your high so close but not quite there yet.

“Bucky, gonna cum. Oh fuck!” You whined, your orgasm hitting you like a train. You came with a loud cry, eyes squeezed shut, rocking against him more than fucking so his cock stayed buried inside you.

“Shit, how did you get even fuckin’ tighter. ‘M so close.” He whispered against your neck, broken and needy. Your high had all but subsided, aftershocks still pleasantly coursing through you as you went back to letting your hips rise and fall so Bucky could finish. It only took four more well timed thrusts before he was cumming with a shout, pulling you flush against him as his balls emptied into the condom.

You were both spent and sweaty but more satisfied than you could remember being in months, your chest pressed to his as you both came down, craving a little extra affection. Bucky held you for a good few minutes until you felt his cock softening, knowing he really should get cleaned up. You let him slip from you, pulling your skirt down to take your original seat across from him again.

“Gimme a second.” He whispered, kissing your forehead before making his way to the little bathroom, returning a few minutes later looking just as put together as ever, apart from his telltale grin.

“Jesus, we should do that more often.” You smiled quietly when he returned, letting him settle in the chair beside you this time, the dividing arm rest pushed out of the way so you could cuddle as much as possible given the limited space.

“I can’t stop now honey. That pussy is addictive.” He smiled, happy to see you leaning so comfortably up against him but even happier when he heard your soft little snores.

Taglist:

@harrysthiccthighss @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @justatirednightowl @littlecanadianlani @babebr @sebsbrokentoe @badgirlwolfy

[winns-stuff]

POLITICS:

Okay I know, first time I’m not speaking on Lore Olympus and you may be wondering what I even have to say about the topic above, let me spoil you a little. I have a lot of shit to say, and I know some people are going to say that I’m too young to have an opinion on certain things like this but I genuinely don’t care because in a few years all of these grown ass adults’ decisions are going to affect me in some way so I feel like I have every fucking right to talk about it.

I wanna talk about the abortion situation, it’s been irking the hell out of me for a really long time and it’s put me under so much stress and just utter panic. It’s so disheartening seeing so many comments being made from pro-lifers mostly because I truly believe that these people have really lost their shit and are literal psychopaths. But most comments I’ve seen from pro-lifers are that “they’re just trying to save our future” or “we just want to preserve life.” What I want to say to that is a massively huge fuck you to everyone who even thinks that. I’ve never been so furious in my entire life, save the fucking future?? I am your future and in fact all of Generation Z is, yet you all have literally neglected us and left us for fucking dead are you serious? I’ve seen so many teens open up about how their parents treat them and how they’ve been abused and neglected by the very adults who swear up and down that all humans deserve to live. I hate all of you for failing us, I hate all of you for forgetting all about us and moving onto the next generation like that’s even going to help, there’s literally no reason for half of the generation to suffer from childhood trauma or just trauma in general and instead of taking responsibility for making our lives miserable and making us like the way we are we all get blamed for it? Not the generation who selfishly brought children into the world just to treat them like literal shit. Not the generation who puts high expectations on their children and pressure them into doing things they don’t want to do. Not the parents who literally threaten to kill and kick their children out for either disagreeing with them or not agreeing with their own child’s identity. I’ve overheard such hatred coming from adults about their children and I’ve seen people my age, older and younger, come out about how deteriorated their mental health is because of their parents. Where are the pro-lifers when young children are being disowned and thrown out by their parents? Where is your rage for how they treated us and continue to treat us? Where is your support? Why don’t you at least try and acknowledge that you fucked us over and left us for fucking dead. And now you wanna sit up there and talk about the new generation like we don’t exist? I have dreams, I have a name, I have a functioning brain, goals, personality, achievements, I have all of it yet a fetus is more important than actually trying to help the kids that suffered from your hands? You’re all a load of absolute shit and I hate your damn guts.

I also wanna talk about how absolutely pathetic it is for the people who want people with uteruses to be “responsible” for their babies and how a lot of people think people with uteruses are “promiscuous” or “whores” just because they want an abortion. First off if you’re going to call anyone irresponsible I’m going to need all the men who left their families or forced people with uteruses to get abortions, cheated on or abused them to stand all the way up. It’s so sick that these people put so much responsibility on people with uteruses when quite literally there has been generations on generations of men who have created broken homes and refuse to even meet their child. I know because I have a biological father that’s never even wanted me to be born, he wanted to abort me because all he wanted out of the relationship was sex. I’m not saying that that’s what all men want obviously pull your head out of your ass, I’m talking about men who are obviously not ready for children laying down with a woman without any sort of protection at all or any care and getting her pregnant. Leaving the woman after he finds that out in the process or even staying with her and making her miserable because he didn’t want the baby to begin with. Shut the fuck up talking about anyone not taking responsibility because certain men have been doing that for centuries, but I never see anyone especially pro-lifers even daring to bring this entire thing up. Like it’s insane to just place all the blame on women when child support literally exists for a fucking reason, this exact reason alone as well! It’s complete bullshit and the dumbest mindset ever.

Something else I wanna talk about is how everyone thinks that all people with uteruses have abortions for one thing and one thing only, they slept around and now they’re using it as a condom. Are you all fucking mental or something how does that even make sense? There are millions on millions of people in the world and you come to the conclusion that all people with uteruses, every single last one of those people, all use abortions like that. I’m so sick and tired of people having this weird hive mentality where if something never happened to you it never happens to anyone, or when something does happen to you (especially something positive) that’s how everyone’s experience is going to be. This is the dumbest way of thinking I can’t even respect that sort of mindset at all, that literally has to be the worst mindset ever. There’s millions of people in the world everyone is not like you we are all different and there’s no way that a minor knows this shit more than half of the adults who think like this. All people with uteruses are not going to have an abortion for the same things stop saying they will it’s so illogical for you to even suggest something like that. Different people with uteruses will have different situations, maybe in some cases they will have similar things in common with these things but it’s just so completely idiotic to say that all people with uteruses are having abortions for the exact same reason. You do not know their reasons, you don’t even know them as a human being it’s like you guys are forming parasocial relationships with these people and you don’t even know their first name! You see how extremely crazy that sounds? It sounds borderline psychotic and it’s not going to do anything to fix the U.S.

Another thing I wanna say, and honestly this is just a personal nitpick but I think it’s completely comical how the conservatives always use those damn “snowflake” roasts on videos discussing actual issues and things that are affecting real people and communities and completely invalidating the importance of all of it yet they sit up and completely ignore the facts about abortions and just allow their emotions to take over the conversations. You always say “facts>>emotions” yet here you are feeling like a woman murdered something that isn’t even considered a human being. A fetus is just a small development and a first stage of a fetus forming into a baby, I can assure you that if you had an abortion or anything the fetuses would not feel anything. Honestly you’re not going to call a seed a flower because it’s still growing and developing into a flower so why are we considering a fetus to be an actual child? And if it was a human being why the hell aren’t we all called fetuses? Why are we called human beings and fetuses go by another name? Or why aren’t they called babies since they already are one? Maybe I’m the crazy one for thinking that but I genuinely do not believe that it’s a baby or a human being yet.

That brings us to our next point, the person’s life. I don’t think too many pro-lifers take into consideration that if the person survives a very painful pregnancy that they’re going to be the one caring for the baby, not you. You don’t even know their situation or anything so if they’re about to be evicted or mentally drained or even on drugs that’s going to affect the baby critically. That baby is not going to have another caretaker unless the family or partner steps up and actually helps out and that’s even if the person even has any of that support with them. How are they going to support a baby if they can’t even support themselves? They’re going to need to buy everything for the baby, do everything for the baby, care for the baby, and etc. They are going to need to be financially stable, physically healthy, and mentally sound enough to even do that and if they can’t what the fuck is going to happen with the baby? Is it going to get a job and work a 9-5 to support itself? No. This is why people decide to have abortions, and no an abortion is not just something that you just think about in 5 seconds and agree to. A lot of people with uteruses take abortions very seriously actually and I can even argue that there are people with uteruses out there that want that baby but based on their current situation they cannot have or support the baby. And I’m so tired of people suggesting foster care or putting it up for adoption, it’s already such a fucked up system and not only that but if every person with a uterus who couldn’t care for their baby followed your genius advice do you really think that the foster cares and adoption centers are gonna have room for all those babies? They’re not if they keep getting filled up, that’s so fucked up for you to even suggest something like that you’d rather the parent give up their baby to foster cares and adoption centers than to just let them get an abortion and better their situation. Babies cost time, money, and your energy in some cases babies should not just be born and thrown in the hands of adoption centers and etc that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

My last and final point about this whole thing is pro-lifers love to say that all human life should be protected and how the fetuses deserve to live yet will bash and harass any member of the LGBTQ+ community or any trans person on any given day. How dare you say that you’re fighting for human life yet you neglect the actual life that exists on our Earth, you’ll turn a blind eye to the many black transgender women who are dying and getting murdered and you’ll probably be happy about that shit too. You would rather wish them all to go to hell then to actually support and be a decent human fucking being. You are not pro-life you are pro-birth, if you do not consider or even acknowledge the countless lives who are being affected by many people who harass and abuse the people from that community you are not pro-life, if you ignore all the black lives being loss you are not pro-life, if you cannot for a split second even care about missing indigenous women and children then you are not pro-life. You are only ever going to be pro-birth and I think it’s disgusting that you fight so hard for the idea of a baby being born yet you don’t think those whose “lifestyles” you don’t agree with matter, or you don’t think certain races should be protected or even thought about when something terrible happens to them in mass waves. You want women to take responsibility for their actions but I really want all pro-lifers to take responsibility in trying to make living on Earth bearable for anyone who’s not them.

[akaashioppa]

Promise Me?

pairings: baji keisuke x reader

summary: Baji promised you that you would have a great night. You, him, and Toman. He was out to have a good time too until the drugs came into play.

warnings: baji using drugs, curse words, angst, mentions of blood and teeth pulling. DONT DO DRUGS!

w/c: 1.6

a/n: Baji is a sweetheart and i know he’ll never do anything like this ☺️

A boy’s night was meant for the boys and only for the boys. The roaring sounds of the motorcycles, the blasting of the music did not go well with the anxiety that was soaring throughout your body. Baji being the crazy person he was, decided to bring you out to the club where all of the members of Toman would be.

You were standing near the game room with Baji’s hands firmly gripped around your waist. The sharp canines in his mouth were pressed against your delicate skin. The feeling of him kissing your neck all the way up to your ear was making you weak. 

“Hey, I’ll be over there with the boys. You stay here with Emma.” He muttered into your neck, His husky breath invaded your personal bubble. The scene was making you intoxicated with him and you didn’t care. All of the worries about coming here tonight with the gang completely washed away once you saw that smile. He was actually happy and not grumpy for once. Usually, he was a pain in your ass with his sudden outbursts of rage or the way he’ll set something on fire just because he wants to. 

“Okay baby.” You tried so hard not to stutter but Baji’s hand would accidentally slip into your inner thigh. The haze you were caught in finally came to a halt when his warm aurora left you. He stood by your side with his arms draped lazily around your shoulders. 

“Yo, Emma, Watch my girl will ya?”

“It’s okay, I can watch myself, babe. Let her enjoy herself on the dance floor...Go with the boys.” You pushed him gently in the direction of the boys. That particular grin on his face caused your heart to skip a beat. It was the same grin he gave you when he first told you that he was in love with you. He also showed that grin when he was ready to rip someone’s head off of their shoulders but you didn’t mind. It was hot either way he showed it. 

“Okay...I got you...remember that.” 

“I trust you.” He walked off into the distance towards the bathrooms where two other men stood. It was quite odd of a scene since the other boys were in the arcade playing pool and cards. He was the only one in the dark part of the room...No, he would never do anything that could make you uncomfortable. He promised since the first day you guys met that he would never lay a hand on you or show you the demons within him. Baji always wanted to protect you from any danger that awaited and tonight was no different. He made sure that there was a member in every corner of the club so nothing would happen to you.

Emma’s cheerful scream broke you out of your thoughts, “Come on (Y/N) let’s go grab some food from the food bar I’m starving.”

“I could go for some sushi.” 

You walked off from your spot with Emma’s hand in yours. There was a creepy feeling in the air, it’s been there since Baji left your side. He wasn’t with the boys which caused you to feel tense. Another reason was that he was still back there with those boys who now had something shoved up their noses. It looked as if they had tiny shovels in their noses.

‘There’s no way’

“Hey, Emma, Do yo-” 

The sopping feeling of dressing on your clothes helps you come to a rest. You looked down to see that there was a big stain on your shirt. The person who did it stood in front of you with a look of fear.

“I’m so sorry, let me help you!” The man in front of you launched into action, he fearfully began to wipe your shirt down with the paper towel in his hand. The crowd around you only grew from curiosity. You tried to speak, you tried to get him to stop but the words that were processing in your head wouldn’t allow you to speak them.

Emma grabbed you from the scene. She caught the signal that you were giving out. It wasn’t hard to miss since you stood there in complete shock. “We might need some water. Here there’s a family restroom. maybe we can use the water there.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere? I think we went to the same middle school.” The man asked, you took a long look at him before you realized where you had seen him from.

“Yeah...Aren’t you Haruto?”

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m still as clumsy as ever.”

“It was a complete accident. You don’t have to worry, I'm sure Emma has a spare top in her bag.” You waved him off, he seemed much calmer now that you were almost clean.

Bang

The bathroom door was kicked in. Baji stormed through the door with two unfamiliar guys with him. He completely ignores you so he can grab Haruto by his collar forcing his head into the mirror behind him. “So you’re the culprit huh? What the fuck is your deal?”

“Baji! Put him down, it was an accident.”

“An accident huh? Look at you, you’re covered in shit.”

Baji threw Haruto across the room. He scanned the room until he found the perfect weapon, pliers. He snatched the tool from under the sink making sink water spray out everywhere. You watched in horror, the laughter from the other guys encouraging him to continue his menacing antics, it did not make the situation any better.  

“Can you please stop? You’re creeping me out.” Your voice was barely a whisper but it came out the stern. He seemed to have heard you cry out for him. His whole demeanor changed...he has more of a sinister feel to him.

“Why do you want me to stop? He needs to be taught a lesson. If not, then he will think that he can do it again.” He stood over Haruto with the pliers in his hand. He gave him a few kicks in the ribs just to toy with him. Emma tried to drag you out of the restroom but you stayed to face him.

He wiped his nose for the third time since he’s been here. This time a drop of blood followed behind it. You have been counting, ever since he left your side to be with those boys you have been observant of him. His sloppy posture, dilated eyes, his erratic behavior, and now he was having more mood swings than normal.

You tried to force the pressure that was forming in your throat away. You had to be strong, there were too many people out there that wanted to test you because they thought you were too weak to be Baji Keisuke’s girlfriend. So you put some bass in your voice and took a step forward. 

“Are you fucking high right now!?”

He smirked, “What does it look like, baby?”

“You son of a bitch” You scoffed, you marched your way over to him giving him a firm slap across his face. A gasp could be heard from the background. You and he both knew that all of Toman was here to see what was going on. 

“You promised me that you wouldn’t go to the extreme when it came to drugs! Look at you! You look like a fucking junkie, your fucking nose is bleeding and you don’t even care.”

He said nothing.

You reached down to grab the pliers only to be stopped by him. His strong grip from his hand wrapped around your wrist. “Get the fuck away from me”, he snarls.

You stare up at him and say nothing. The disbelief of him grabbing you and saying you engulfed your entire state of mind. He promised. You could only look into his dark orbs to see if he was actually being serious. It was no use, that demon he told you about was consuming him for the worst.

“You promised me that you would protect me tonight and yet you’re doing the most harm.” You placed a hand on his chest to feel his erratic heart beat. You knew what the white substance could lead to. His could actually burst if he got too excited.

He snatched your hand away from his chest,“I am protecting you! If only you’ll allow me to do my fucking job!”

Your hand was ripped away from Baji’s. It wasn’t him nor you.

Mitsuya pulled you into an embrace back from Baji. “The fuck is your problem Baji! Don’t you ever yell at a female like that! What the fuck!? Is this how you treat the woman you claim to love!?”

“What? You’d really think I’d hit a woman? I’m not your dad Mitsuya.” He stuck up his middle finger towards him with that annoying smirk on his face. “I’ll fucking kill you. Give me my girl.”

“I’m taking her home.”

You stood behind Mitsuya far away from Baji. You could see how badly he wanted to ruin Haruto. The blood lust in his eyes couldn’t fool anyone.

“Fine then. If that’s what she wants, take her home.”

“Don’t hurt him Baji. He didn’t do anything. Can you please just listen to me for once?” You were so emotionally drained from the situation that your words came out in a mumble. You knew what he was about to do. Your pleas would never get him to stop once his mind was already made up. 

He chuckled, turning his back towards you. The walked over Haruto again screamed that he would murder someone who got in his way. You sat there with a blank expression watching your boyfriend shove the pliers into Haruto’s mouth. No one dared to stop him, some watched out of pure enjoyment. 

 Mitsuya pulled you out of the bathroom before you could see your boyfriend in that state but you could hear his disturbing laugh and Haruto’s pleas for forgiveness.

“He’s too high to comprehend what’s going on right now. You’ll have to talk to him tomorrow.”

“But he promised me…”

[kellinrk800]

toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

[swinterr]

fic rec vi ♡

hi!

this is a another new set of fic rec and i’ll probably do a compilation of genre (?) just like the first ones.

made some changes like tidying up a bit and adding summary, for those that doesn’t have any summary i’ll try my best to add my own summary (it will probably be shit tho, i ain’t making a smut summary guys, i’m not confident in my describing a fic ability but i’ll try my best. if its in italic it means i made the summary hehez )  if the summary is shit, i made it okay.

read and support the fic and authors here: the fic rec ♡

a for angst

f for fluff

s for smut

// for series or list

nct 

jeno

no title by @tyongf-nct | s

- smut blurb.

body guards and boyfriend by @pastelsicheng | f

-  sometimes the only way you can really get some alone time with your boyfriend is by making his job hard.

lipstick smears by @kopikokun | f

-  jeno never thought trying to get his makeup artist’s attention would be this hard.

jaehyun

[10:30] by @moonttaeil | 

- a lockdown moment.

[2:40] by @nct-jungjaehyun | f a

- cute quality fluff time with bf!jae with a dash of angst.

[11:41] by @jeongvision | f 

- family time with apples.

just like magic by @starryhyuck | f s

-  jung jaehyun’s body count is almost as high as yours. however, after yuta spreads a nasty rumor, you learn that jaehyun’s always imagined those girls to be you instead.

love to hate me by @moonctzeny | s a 

-  you and jaehyun meet as sm trainees, developing a friendship until he debuts and you decided to leave the company and pursue a solo career. when you reunite again in a music show and he acts like he barely knows you, you stubbornly begin a series of hate-brimmed sex rendez-vous. your touch-and-go relationship continues on, until a song collaboration will force you both to deal with all your repressed feelings for each other.

moving on by @ddeonghwaa | f a

- reader has been chasing jae for some time but when she moved on jae suddenly enter the picture.

sun&moon by @ppangjae | f a

-  asking jeong jaehyun to accompany you to your family’s 1-week christmas vacation as your boyfriend has its consequences. one can surely get through 1 week of pretending to be in love with an enemy, right?

snack run with a snack by @kopikokun | f 

-  on your usual movie night with the members, they assign you sudden snack collecting duty. you’re a little peeved, but at least jaehyun offers to tag along. Unfortunately for you, things really aren’t going in your favour tonight.

lover boy by @neoct-zen | f s

- bunch fics of lover boy jae and reader.

jungwoo

one more time, please by @haequarius | f s

-  you don’t know what you and Jungwoo are, but you are certainly weak for him.

jealous by @whiplashsan | s 

-  jungwoo is all smiles and sunshine until he gets jealous, and he just so happens to get jealous over the smallest things when it comes to you.

doyoung

sugar, spice and everything not nice by @alreadyblondenow | s

-  doyoung getting your ring size wrong, unprotected sex, kitchen sex, slight fingering, wedding tragedies.

no title by @ncteaxhoe | s

- dom!doyoung, rough? i need holy water.

the little one by @ethaeriyeol | f 

-  a gift of life; female reader x husband!Doyoung; fluff, light angst, married au

lucas

exquisite taste by @weishenkonbini | s f

- smut but with a fluffy ending.

for you always by @labyrinthsofyou | f

-  in which you surprise yukhei when he forgets about your date.

6:19 by @cozykpopblurbs | f

- a cute fluff ft kun and winwin.

10:18 pm by @nctsoftarchives | f

- reader supports lucas at his superm debut stage. 

16:47 by @sichengssmile | f s 

- a fluffy smut. lucas a big boi.

missed you by @tokyobts | a f

-  after you and yukhei broke up, yukhei still has feelings for you. he reaches out to you at school and tries to get you back. at first you avoid him but later his actions manage to make your heart flutter. you’ve come to a sudden conclusion that you maybe still want him in your life.

johnny

34 + 35 by @domjaehyun | s 

- you and your husband johnny decide to take your marriage to the next step.

i couldn’t wait a little longer by @alreadyblondenow | s f a

-  you two were never together longer than two days, but the feelings, oh the feelings that you have for each other is clear as the day. it was a never-ending try of making the relationship official. johnny tried, you tried but it never happens.

what happens in korea, not stays in korea by @alreadyblondenow | f s 

-  a week vacation in korea for your sister’s wedding became even more exciting when a famous dj had a crush on you. johnny was sure that it’s love at first sight. not putting both of your careers on the line, you two had no regrets when the time comes and you finally leave.

laundry day by @immabiteyou | s

- a domestic fluffy smut.

make a wish by @sluttyten | s f a

-  you’re jungwoo’s sister, and he’s made it clear he wants you and Johnny to have nothing to do with each other. so you and johnny start fake dating to piss him off.

want it all by @sluttyten | f s 

-  you are entirely innocent to the point of being naive. johnny is not innocent, but he loves that you are because it means he can teach you everything you don’t know.

sungchan

wish i was her by @softsungchan | f a 

-  you wished you were her, laying in Sungchan’s arms and feeling his warm breath on your neck, giggling about sweet nothings whispered into the starry night. You wished for it to be you, the girl he liked.

2:21 am by @the32ndbeat | f 

- sungchan being whipped, thru a text message.

haechan

14:52 by @ukiyoexo | f

- a cute haechan and reader ft the reader’s baby sister moment.

prince’s order by @nsheetee | f

-  prince haechan nurses you after you faint, and orders you to stay with him until you feel better.

sweet treat by @markresonates | s

-  haechan takes you for ice cream but all you can think about is sex with him.  when you act like a brat, eventually you end up in the bathroom. with no panties. 

clingy by @love-mi | f 

-  I’m not clingy! I just love your company and constantly want to be around you and have your full attention at all times

mark

hyuck is always right by @luvrenjun00 | f 

- ceo!mark x reader ft baby donghyuck. a tooth-rotting fluff.

taeyong

snow storm by @whereisten | f s 

- a fluffy smut whilst a snow storm.

1:59 by @smoll-tangerine | f

- reader and taeyong ft my favorite game (where i always die first) among us!

bts

taehyung

is this allowed 1 2 by @seokiie  | f s

- how were you supposed to know bts would be filming at your coffee shop today? how were you supposed to know a certain curly-haired boy would take a liking  to you?

cabin pressure | f by @jiminrings | f 

-  pilot!y/n who accidentally became famous bc of a viral post about her, best friend!jimin!, taehyung having a shy lil crush on you aND ot7 being meanies for a tad bit :((

art major!tae and biochem major!yn | f by @jiminrings | f

-  tae’s cold and probably needs a friend more than he needs a model, y/n feels this nEED to take care of him, a term of enderment then a dash of emotional constipation and a sprinkle of jealousy :D

gank mid lane by @kimtaehyunq | f s 

- gank / verb: (in a video game) use underhand means to defeat or kill (a less experienced opponent)

birthday surprise by @ephemeralkookie |

-  like every year, you prepare a little surprise for your boyfriend’s birthday, one that you’ve been preparing for days. and after a very tiring day, taehyung only wants to spend the night in your loving arms.

jungkook

cookies & cream | s by @1kook | f s 

-  jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (and maybe having his dick sucked.)

unholy night | s by @ephemeralkookie | f s

-  after a christmas day passed with the Jeon’s family, Jungkook decides to transform the holy night into an unholy one.

‘a short’ abstinence | s a by @seokiie | s a

-  maybe blue-balling you boyfriend (who has an insanely high sexual drive) wasn’t the best.

in which she’s done with him by @minstrivia | a

-  jungkook angst/fluff where he always pushes oc away (who confesses her feelings but was cruelly rejected) and insults her but she always comes back to take care of him when he’s drunk or picks him up from his one night stands and she finally decides to leave him alone.

bad influence by @noteguk | s 

-  in which you know jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

jock!jk and shy art major!yn by @jiminrings | f

-  established relationship ft. jock!jk and shy art major!y/n, y/n gets an unexpected pep talk and jungkook doubts himself, and either so much tears or so much dUST according to kook

special affair by @1oserjk | f

-  sugar daddy au except it’s just jk spoiling u thru animal crossing

fairy of shampoo by @ironicarmy | f s

-  sundays are for relaxation, house cleaning, and happiness.

abstract ft bob ross by @mimithings97 | f

-  paintbrush in one hand, joint in the other and you sitting on his dick is what jeongguk wants. and what jeongguk wants, jeongguk gets.

badboy!jungkook by @jungshookz | f 

- badboy!jungkook falls for good girl reader ft the boys and the reader’s apple. 

growing by @lesgetittkookie | f

- dad!jungkook teacher his daughter how to walk. super super cute family/domestic fluff.

quiet, baby by @bratkook | s 

- i don’t how to write a summary on smuts so imma just put this. reader and jungkook doing something in the subway.

still want that by @whatifyoulivelikethat | s

-  fucking min yoongi ex-girlfriend? a terrible idea. being hopelessly in love with her at the same time? an even worse idea. knowing he was being used and still doing it anyway? ah, Jeon Jungkook, what are you doing? part 2 of savage love.

desiderium by @jeonggukingdom | f s 

-  “we’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still so horny?”. a newlyweds!au smut.

chapstick by @softyoongiionly | f s

- based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. or jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. 

lover boy by @jingukk | f 

-  jungkook likes you. a lot.

unexpected confession by @sunkissedjk | f

-  you gathered up the courage to confess your feelings, but it seems everyone in school knows about it before you could even find him.

string attached by @ephemeralkookie | s

-  jungkook is what we can call your sexfriend. No strings attached, just you and him having fun and releasing the huge pressure and stress of being idols. But after spending an entire day together, you realize that maybe he’s not just your sexfriend.

no title by @himbojk | f s 

- dilf jk.

astro

eunwoo

ceo!eunwoo by @m0onbean

no title by @yutopiada | f

- a cute idol!reader and eunwoo moment at a music show.

disney by @bangchan-sonyeondan | f

- a cute date with eunwoo at disney. reader likes vintage things hence using a disposable camera.

baby, it’s cold outside by @fresh-outta-jams | f 

- a cute cold christmas fluff with eunwoo ft. the boys. reader went to the boys’ place for a sweater and cocoa gift exchange.

got7

yugyeom

cruel brothers by @imsarabum | f

-  jackson and jaebum have always acted as if they were your big, overprotective brothers. so when they both walk in on you and yugyeom in a very intimate position, things get a little tense!

txt

soobin

a special night by @gyuluster | f

-  an intimate insight on the first night of choi soobin’s wedding, consisting of kitchen floors, witches and an eternity of love.

boughs & branches by @jeogiyall | f 

-  decorating the tree with boyfriend! choi soobin from txt! fluffity fluff fluff with a lot of cute fluff thrown in and a dash of christmastime fluff. 

sleepy binnie by @immabiteyou | s

-  “i’ll let you do anything if you just touch me now. “ a sleepy soobin smut.

cake by @immabiteyou | s

- reading waiting for mc soobin with the guys. a cute fluffy smut moment.

kpop oc/s

seri by @ggukkiedae

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

support the fic and the writers!

[disgruntledspacedad]

Jayyy!! Sweet, slutty in the AM.

Without giving BL spoilers, or maybe you won't? Idk 👀👀 not *cough* fishing or anything *cough*

Can I please have 💖 for Javier??? I'm curious...

Angel out-

Javiears pregnancy headcanons? You got it, babe!

Quick and obvious disclaimer to treat all of these as if they are a Better Love AU, at least until I tell you otherwise. 😘

Any baby that these two have would be a total surprise. Ears never wanted kids, and Javi has never thought long enough about it to decide how he feels about a family. He’s always assumed that was never in the cards for him.

Once the initial shock wears off - and that’s gonna take quite a while for both of them - Javi and Ears both jump feet first into the parenting thing. They each harbor some intense opinions about what a kid should and shouldn’t have to put up with, and there are lots of deep conversations that Last into the early morning hours. They nail down the important stuff pretty early, decide that they’ll figure out the rest with time, and discover a whole lot more about one another in the process.

Ears’ body hates being pregnant. She doesn’t realize it, but she’s got her Ashkenazi ancestry to thank for this. Ears is sick as dog snot clear through her first trimester and well into her second, exhausted and achy and throwing the fuck up. She gets awful migraines, too. There are days when Javi is convinced that carrying this baby is going to kill her, and he worries a lot.

Ears handles all of this as stoically as she can. She’s miserable, but she’s not about to complain and make Javi feel even worse.

Speaking of Javi, that protective streak he’s got goes into overdrive the instant Ears tells him about the baby. Ears has got to constantly remind him that she’s pregnant, not dying, and Javi good god, please just let me do things, okay??

That being said, it takes Javi a little while to connect the idea of Ears being pregnant to Ears carrying his baby. It’s all very abstract to him, to the point that on Ears’ worst days, Javi almost feels a little resentful.

That all changes at Ears’ sixteen week appointment. She’s just starting to feel like a human again, and this time, Javi is allowed to go back with her.

Oh my god, you guys, when Javier Peña sees that blurry, black and white, tiny little baby on the ultrasound screen... yall, his entire world shifts.

Ears notices instantly. It’s kind of hard not to, given how tightly Javi is suddenly gripping her hand. He glances over at him to find his eyes glued to the screen, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. It takes her aback a little. “You okay?” she asks quietly, and Javi nods, drags his eyes away from the ultrasound screen and gives her a soft, wet smile, and something slots into place for Ears, too.

Javi quits smoking cold turkey that day. Seeing his tiny little daughter for the first time put a lot of things into perspective, and Javi decides then and there that he wants to be there for her as long as possible.

The first three weeks are miserable. Javi does his best to get out of the house when he’s feeling tetchy (which is always), and Ears does her best to be understanding, but they get into more than a few little spats.

The makeup sex is 🔥🔥🔥, though.

Ears is not a big girl. When she starts to show, she shows fast, and Javi swears he can see her body change every day. Ears is pretty indifferent. She’s not self conscious - Ears finds pregnancy to be inconvenient, more than anything.

Javier Peña has never seen anything as beautiful as Hannah Aarons carrying his child.

Javi fucking loves it. There’s something primal about running his hand over the gentle swell of Ears’ belly and knowing that it’s his daughter that’s growing there. He’s not one to talk to the bump, but Javi can hardly stop himself from touching it. All the fucking time. Ears will sometimes playfully shoo him away. “Hands to yourself, you animal. I’m trying to nap!”

Seriously, their sex life doesn’t suffer at all. It doesn’t help that Ears refuses to buy maternity clothes. She’d much rather lounge around in Javi’s t-shirts and his old sweats, something that makes Javi’s cave man brain damn near implode every single time he sees it.

Ugh, and he’s sweet to her. Observant and affectionate and accommodating of absolutely everything. Cravings? Tell me what you want, babe, I’ll get three. Foot massage? Come here, mi reina, let me make it better. Yawning through dinner? Go get in bed, Ears, I’ve got dishes tonight.

Javi starts noticing Ears’ puffy feet somewhere around the 28th week or so. Ears swears they don’t hurt, exactly, so they both write it off as one of those weird pregnancy things.

It’s not. Ears has severe pre-eclampsia. Javi only finds this out after Ears gets a migraine so bad that she can’t see straight. Javi carries her to the car and forces her to go to the hospital. They’re there for all of five minutes when the doctor on call deems Ears’ blood pressure to be high enough to constitute a medical emergency, and Javi’s world is turned upside down again when he hears the word “c-section.”

Ears is only 33 weeks pregnant.

Less than an hour later, Javi is holding his baby girl. She’s tiny, the tiniest little human that Javi has ever seen, but she’s got a hell of a set of lungs on her, and Javi has never been so relieved, so stunned, so riveted, or so enraptured by anything in his entire life.

Oh, shit, he’s crying again.

She’s absolutely perfect. Off her oxygen within two days, taking feedings like a champ, and obliterating every goal her pediatrician sets for her.

Javi is so fucking proud when his girl is discharged a full week earlier than the doctors anticipated. She’s still a little small, but growing like a weed, and Javi just knows that between her and her mom, he’s gonna have his hands full.

Ears is fine, just a little sore. There are no long term complications from pre-eclampsia, so as soon as she’s up and sort of moving, Ears in full mom mode.

Ears loves being a mom, but she and Javi are in full agreement on this - one and done.

[voiceswithoutlips]

Calico - Chapter Two

— pairing: Hybrid ot7 x Human Reader (Female) — genre: hybrid AU , fluff, angst, slow burn (like real slow), eventual smut — word count: 2K — Rating: M — warnings: trauma, mention of past abuse.

Click for Tag List

— chapter summary:

Y/N runs a animal shelter, Calico was built on a simple principle, to help those who were in need. What will Y/N do when her sanctuary is threatened by an unexpected hybrid?

— A/N: This is going to be a series, I’m just getting back to writing, so I’d really appreciate your input and feedback <3

Ch. 1  Ch. 3  Ch. 3.5 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6

I stumbled out of bed with a groan, it was almost noon and my hangover was killing me. Last night I was too stressed so I drowned my worries in a bottle of whisky. Why was adulting so annoying, ugh. The house was quiet, Jason had probably already gone to the shelter. I made my way to the kitchen, my zombie brain screaming for coffee. I like my coffee black and bitter, just like my soul. Kidding, I don’t have a soul. 

My phone rang somewhere in the living room. The place looked like a tornado had torn through it. The floor was covered with papers and cushions and clothes and other unidentifiable mess. What the fuck happened last night? By the time I found my phone the ringing had stopped. 28 missed calls from Jason and 2% battery ...great.  

I made my way to the exam room, the most likely place for Jason to be. It was just a five minute walk from the house. I was in my pajamas, my hair sticking out and the coffee cup in my hand. It was Sunday, I was grumpy.

There was a half-naked man sitting on the exam table, no not a man, a hybrid. His white fluffy tail was droopy. Long white ears poked from his long black hair, he desperately needed a haircut. His ears were limp on his back. There was a hole in his left ear, it was properly done but too big for a piercing. My eyes widened with realization, I’d seen that before on cattle, his previous owners must’ve tagged him. 

The hybrid showed no reaction as I went to stand beside Jason, and directly in front of him. His upper body was muscular, he had a thick neck and washboard abs. He was gorgeous. He had a strong jawline, cute eyes and a small nose. The combination of cute and sexy was deadly. His hands were clasped together and he was hunched over, trying to make himself look small, not an easy feat to achieve.  

“Y/N, this is Jungkook,” Jason introduced the hybrid. The bunny stiffened, he didn’t raise his head to look at me. What do I do? I wasn’t good with people, I preferred animals to humans.  

“Hello, I’m Y/N,” I greeted. He was sitting so still that you would think he wasn’t even there. Was he even breathing? He was still looking down. 

I looked at Jason, I didn’t know what to do. “I found him near the hatch this morning so I brought him in for a checkup.” I nodded. 

“Are you hungry? I’m practically starving!” I asked, extending a tentative hand towards the bunny, palm up. He flinched.  I kept my hand where it was. I would stand here for hours if I had to. My stubbornness knew no bounds. Minutes passed slowly, Jason was leaning on the counter perfectly at ease, he was a good actor. 

Slowly Jungkook took my hand. “Let’s go have breakfast,” I whispered, a smile on my face as I slowly led him to the kitchen. Well kitchen was an overstatement, it was a small room with six refrigerators and two freezers, most of them contained medical supplies. A sad, overused coffee machine and a small stove for “Emergency Ramen”, it was our own special recipe. 

I opened the fridge with a “No Science Allowed” poster taped to its door. I pulled out a bunch of greens to make a salad, rabbits need their greens. We always stocked the fridge for humans and the animals. I wasn’t a particularly good cook, I could cook enough to not starve but that was the extent of my cooking skills. A quick chicken salad, eggs and toast and a bunch of pancakes and breakfast was served. 

Jungkook was still standing near the door where I had left him, eyes downcast, ears flopped. I was an idiot, a massive idiot, I assumed he would sit at the table on his own. Bad Y/N! 

“Jungkook, come sit with me,” I mentally hit myself, it sounded like a command, I was terrible at this. I was used to animals, you tell them what to do, you can’t ask a dog if he’d like to sit with you, but Jungkook was a person. I can be an animal therapist but humans? They were beyond me. I didn’t know how to get to him.  

He sat at the table. I pushed the food in front of him, expecting him to eat, another mistake. Hybrids are supposed to obey, they don't do things on their own. I was supposed to tell him what to do. I wanted to pound my head on the table. Stupid Y/N. 

“What would you like to eat?” I asked in the gentlest voice possible, at least I hoped it was gentle. 

 No response.  

“Go on this is all for you,” I tried to be encouraging. 

 Nothing.

 “Tell you what, if you finish your breakfast, I’ll give you a treat,” his ears twitched. He tentatively picked up a fork and started eating. His movements were small, he barely made any noise as he chewed but at least he was eating. 

I was still confuzzled, it is a word, a made up word, but then again all words are made up words. Confused and puzzled. I had no idea how to approach him, do I treat him like a human or a rabbit. The ‘treat’ card worked but will it work every time? He was taking small bites, I wondered if the food tasted bad. Maybe I forgot to add sugar to the pancakes? Did I forget to season the salad? I sighed internally. He needed a proper meal but sadly, Jason and I were terrible cooks. We lived on take-outs and ramen. Maybe it was time to learn how to cook.

I stood up, he froze. I had to get him used to people. I ignored his stiff posture as I walked to one of the freezers and pulled out a container that held my favorite ice cream. It was ‘ice cream for breakfast’ kind of day. I didn’t bother with bowls, two spoons and I was back in my seat. 

“You know this is my absolute favorite ice cream in the entire world. It's called Chocolate Brownie Fudge with Marshmallows. It's like a little piece of heaven in a plastic container,” I offered him a spoon. He looked at it as if it was going to bite him. “Go on, it's your treat!” I encouraged with a grin. It was meant to be a small smile but he was too cute and the ice cream made me happy. 

I dug into the ice cream as if my life depended on it. Jungkook watched me curiously, the spoon still in his hand. He hadn’t finished his breakfast but it was a start. For me, it was Sunday, the day where I threw caution to the wind and ate what I wanted. He hesitantly took a spoonful of ice cream, watching me as if I was going to pull the container away from him and tell him it was a joke. 

As soon as the spoon touched his tongue his eyes lit up like christmas. “Amazing isn’t it?” I asked, taking another bite. He nodded excitedly. Apparently he had a sweet tooth. I pushed the ice cream towards him and watched him devour the whole thing in minutes. God he was adorable!

I settled down on the couch in my office, I desperately needed a shower but that’d have to wait. Jason had taken Jungkook back to our house, he was going to stay in the guest room for the time being. It's not like I was going to put him in the hybrid shelter building, nobody deserved that and he couldn’t stay as a rabbit forever. 

I had a file in front of me, a file on Jungkook. All hybrids are installed with a microchip and registered in the hybrid database as soon as they are born ...or rather created in the labs. Hybrids couldn’t procreate, they were made in labs owned by big corporations. Jason had scanned Jungkooks microchip, the file contained everything about his life.

He was created in Corebear Tech’s lab and sold at the age of six to a wealthy family as a pet for their son. He was sent back to the company when he was twelve because he had grown too big for a rabbit hybrid. Corebear Tech then sold him to Apexi Pharmaceuticals and I guess that’s where Yonu found him.

I felt …I didn’t know what I felt. Maybe a sense of defeat. Jungkook was twenty-three, he was in that lab for eleven years. He was just one year younger than me. I was lost. I couldn’t even imagine what he must’ve gone through. There was no way I was going to let Apexi take him back. I called Song Hwa and gave her the file. After all we had evidence to collect and a case to build.

“Not this again!!” I ran through the front door as soon as I smelled smoke in our kitchen. Jason was standing in front of the stove fanning a pot with a newspaper. 

“I was cooking rice, I don’t know what happened,” he said opening the windows.

I took a peek, the rice was black, utterly totally burnt. “Jason …you’re supposed to add water to cook it…”

“Oh,” Jason loved to cook, the problem was he just couldn’t. I was 200% sure that he was cursed by some evil witch. The moment Jason tries to cook, all hell breaks loose.  

“You’re on clean-up duty,” I grumbled. At least it wasn’t that bad, the cake incident was still fresh in my mind. Once upon a time, when we still lived in our dorm, Jason decided to bake a cake …in a pressure cooker. Needless to say, it was a disaster. The cooker blew up, damaging half the kitchen. Thankfully no one was injured.

I softly knocked on the guestroom door. Jungkook had spent the whole day in his room, not that I blamed him. New place, new people, it was bound to be scary.

“Hey Jungkook, you want to come out for dinner?” I asked. I could deliver him ramen to his room if he wanted but I hoped he’d come out and eat with us. Yes, we were having ramen, Jason and I still lived as we had lived in our dorm, the only difference was our house was nicer and we had a garden.

Jungkook opened the door, he hadn’t locked it. He scrunched his nose as soon as he stepped out. The house was full of burnt smell from Jason’s cooking adventure. The smell must be stronger for him.

“Yeah, Jason tried to cook rice. Pro tip, never eat the food that Jason makes, he’s a terrible cook. Do you want to come eat with us?” I asked. I got a small nod in return.

“Let’s gooooo!! Do you like ramen? We have a really good recipe, well its nothing special, we just throw in some bacon and rice cakes and of course a fuckton of cheese,” I rambled as he followed me to the dining table. “You can never go wrong with cheese, unless you’re Jason,” Jason made protesting noises, I rolled my eyes at him.

Dinner was a bit awkward. Jason and I kept trying to make Jungkook talk but it didn’t work. The poor bunny hadn’t spoken a single word since he’d arrived at Calico. The only thing we got out of him were small nods and silence. I wondered if we should consult a therapist. He was human after all and he needed help.

I heard a sharp gasp from my left. Jungkook’s eyes were huge, he was frozen in his chair. He had accidently knocked the salt shaker off the table.

“I’m so..sorry. Please don’t punish me. I’ll do anything,” his voice was so small, it made my heart ache.

“Oh honey no!” I said as I held his hands. “It was an accident. You remember what I told you? This is a safe space, you’ll never be punished here. I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay?” I was mentally cursing myself for holding his hands on impulse. What if he didn’t like people invading his personal space? My worries were put to rest as he squeezed my hands.

“Okay,” he said in the smallest voice.

 Previous || Next

[babbushka]

The Rabbi Is Coming

Flip Zimmerman x Reader (Darling Jewish Wife AU)

A/N: This oneshot is based entirely off of one of my favorite videos of all time, Company is Coming by Chris Fleming. Every time I see it, it reminds me of preparing for my own family holiday gatherings, so I’ve taken it and run with it lol. I just wanted to write something short and silly for Passover, lol, and I hope you enjoy! 

Also inspired by this prompt sent in by anonymous: From your Passover prompts, will you please do this one for Flip? It sounds just like him!“They tried to kill us. We survived. Let’s eat.”

2k, crack treated seriously lol, humor. Putting a small cw for the Zimmerman’s son, in case folks don’t like reading about kids (this is the last time he’s mentioned for a while I promise lol)

                                                ----------------------

Early in the morning, just after sunrise, Flip yawns and stretches awake. The golden light of morning shines through the curtains that gently move from the breeze of the ceiling fan, and a melody of chirping birds signal the official start of morning. Despite having to get up early for work every day, Flip isn’t much of a morning person. But something about Springtime and the warmth that’s on the way makes him appreciate getting up, even on the weekends.  

“Good morning, sunshine, light of my life – ” Flip rolls over onto his side, ready to coax you out of your sleep as well, ready to kiss you and start the day together, but when he reaches you’re your sleep-snuggled body, he finds the bed empty, and frowns.

Sitting up, he looks around the bedroom. Your side of the covers are neatly made, and Flip can only blink, his frown deepening. He clears his throat, raspy from disuse overnight, “(Y/N)?”

It isn’t until he hears the vacuum cleaner going downstairs, followed by a frustrated groan echoing through the house, that he remembers just what day it is, and falls back onto his pillow with a wince, lighting up a cigarette and scrubbing a hand over his face with a low,

“…Oh shit.”

He checks the clock, sees that it’s practically seven o’clock, and gets out of bed. Pulling on a casual t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans, he leaves his room to see his son standing tentatively in his own doorway, as loud sounds come from downstairs.

“Pop?” The five year old asks with no small amount of hesitation in his voice, immediately reaches for Flip, who scoops him up and balances him on his hip.  

“Mornin’ honey.” Flip kisses his son’s cheek, and the boy giggles, clinging to him as Flip walks down the stairs.

He’s obviously annoyed that it’s not you who gets to wake him up and carry him downstairs, as he normally prefers, but Flip doesn’t know how to tell him that today isn’t a normal day. Still, the boy is always filled with questions, and his little eyebrows furrow into an all too familiar frown as they move closer to the chaos that is you deciding to vacuum first thing in the morning.

“Why is Mama acting like that?” He demands to know, as the two of them stop at the landing, watching as you, still in your pajamas, are fighting with furniture.

“Tonight’s the first night of Pesach.” Flip explains.

“So?” His son challenges, and Flip wants to laugh, because he agrees with the kid, but when you get into a mood like this, there’s no stopping you.

“So, there’s a very special guest coming for dinner tonight, and she wants to make sure the house looks nice and clean for him.” Flip sets the boy down, and he purses his lips, like he’s trying to assess the validity of that, eventually settling on complaining,

“But we already cleaned the house.”

Flip sighs, because he’s right, you spent the entire week cleaning to prepare for Passover. It wasn’t like a normal house cleaning, Passover had special rules that had to be obeyed. One of which, was the complete and total elimination of chametz, or food made from leavened dough. The other, was the koshering of the kitchen.

But he wasn’t so sure his five year old would care to hear about all that this early.

“I know son. Let’s go see what she fixed up for breakfast,” Flip leads his son through the living room carefully, before crouching down to his level and saying very seriously, “And then when you’re done eating, just do whatever Mama says, you hear me? Whatever she says.”

Just then, you come barreling through the living room with the vacuum and a tangle of cord in your hand, shouting at a completely inappropriate volume for the hour, “Zeeskiet if you haven’t made your bed just throw it away it’s too late to make it now!”

The boy looks up at Flip, and Flip immediately shakes his head and amends, “Not that.”

Flip is a good helper. He likes to help, and he wants to help, but sometimes when you get like this, it’s a danger to himself and everyone around for him to try and insert himself into a situation where you are a hurricane of anxious energy. He busies himself with getting your son settled at the kitchen table, giving him a big breakfast of fresh fruit, nuts, and yogurt, before bracing himself to venture back towards the dining room.  

“The Rabbi is coming – get rid of the couches we can’t let people know we sit!” You shout, pointing an aggressive finger at one of the dining chairs, “This chair needs to be pushed in, there cannot be any signs of living in this house.”

Flip is quick to do as you say, even though what you’re saying is nonsense – he knows better than to point that out.

“I don’t care if we have to throw everything out,” You’re mostly talking to yourself at this point, just…loudly, and aggressively, “I want this place looking like a contemporary fusion restaurant by noon.”

It was a miracle and a half that the Rabbi agreed to lead your Seder dinner, and to say that the pressure was getting to you was the understatement of the century. You had everything picked out, what you were going to wear, what Flip and the kids were going to wear; you’d been cooking and prepping all week, and now the day was finally here and you were totally freaking out.

“Flip?” You shout, walking in circles around the dining room, trying to get rid of any possible point of contamination of chametz.

“Yeah?” Flip replies, already knowing that because he’s in the other room, you probably can’t hear him. He already is walking towards you when he hears you again.

“Phil!” You call a little sharper, and Flip huffs out a laugh, his suspicion correct.

“I’m right here ketsl, what can I do?” Flip startles you by suddenly being behind directly behind you, and you throw your hands up in exasperation.

“Oh my god – we need more pillows.” You gesture to the den where the conversation pit is decked out entirely with pillows. “Can you fluff the pillows? I need these things looking fluffed.”

Flip does exactly as he’s told, and the rest of the morning follows suit.

You wandered around the house cleaning; vacuuming sweeping dusting sanitizing every possible surface, the floors, even the ceiling, shouting out random demands and requests like:

We need more flowers. We gotta put flowers in every window. Philly can you put flowers in the kitchen?

We can’t have any clothes! Everyone take off your clothes!

At that, your son cast a semi-distressed look to Flip and asked, an uncertain, “Pop?”

“Not that either!” Flip immediately answered, lest his son think it’s okay to go running around in the nude tonight.

Somewhere around hour two, your mood shifts from manic to meltdown. Your son had been instructed to make sure his toys were all nicely put away in his room, mostly to keep him out of trouble or to prevent any accidental tripping over wires. Flip though, is still running around trying to keep up with you, out of breath from your own chaos.

“What is this?” You yank the perfectly good little towel out of the oven door handle where Flip had just watched you place it, and near-tears, you groan, “This is a dish towel! We need a hand towel! What are we, barbarians?”

He’s about to say something, try to console you or at the very least calm you down, but then you come to a complete and sudden stand-still and point out, “Phil oh god there’s muffins on the counter.”

Frowning, Flip whirled around and wondered how the fuck those even got there. All of your friends knew that there was absolutely no leavened product allowed in the house, Rabbi or no, and he’s trying to wrack his brain around where they came from as you back against the wall.

“Oh my god oh – that’s it -- we have to go into the witness protection program folks!” You chuckle humorously, effectively giving up. “Shalom Rabbi! Welcome to the Zimmerman household. We live outside. We eat mud. And sticks.”

At this, you give one big overwhelmed sigh, and a little sob hiccups out of your chest.

“Hey,” Flip frowns, kicking himself for not trying to get you to take a breather earlier than this, “Hey it’s going to be okay.”

Flip gets down on the floor with you, and pulls you into a tight hug. You shove your face under his neck and cry it out, and Flip soothes your back. He knows how big of a deal tonight is for you, and he wants to do everything he can to make you happy, but letting this go on any longer won’t be good for anyone.

“I’ll get rid of the muffins, we won’t tell anyone about it, okay?” He pulls you to face him, your eyes wet and wide, your chin wobbling. He thinks you’re so ridiculous, working yourself up like this, but he loves you so much to see it regardless.

“Did you fluff the pillows?” You ask in a small sad voice, and Flip nods seriously, brushing some of your stray locks that escaped the scarf you have wrapped around your head to protect your hair, away from your face.

“Yes ketsl, I fluffed the pillows.” He kisses each of your cheeks, the bridge of your nose, your forehead.

“Okay, alright okay, everyone calm down.” You say, wiping your tears away and taking deep measured breaths, suddenly asking, “What time is it?”

“Uhh,” Flip cranes his head around to try and catch a good glimpse at the clock on the wall, wondering how the hell it’s only, “Nine-thirty.”

You blink, and blink again, and then shuffle to sit upright there on the kitchen floor.

“Oh.” You reply, pursing your lips and scratching the side of your jaw. “In that case…I’m going to take a nap.”

Flip chuckles and lets you go. You’re too much all the time, and that’s exactly why he loves you. He’s never met anyone who cares as much about something like this, than you, and he wants you to go relax while he takes care of everything.

And he does, his son a proper helper as you snooze in bed, already having worked yourself to exhaustion and needing your strength back for the long dinner that’s going to come. The offending muffins are given to a neighbor, the surfaces re-sanitized, the kitchen all prepared. Your son even sets the table all by himself, enjoying being tall for his age thanks to Flip’s genetics.

When evening falls much later, and all your other guests have arrived, you feel your pulse spike as the doorbell rings. You’re dressed to the nines, as is everyone else, but Flip thinks that you’re the most radiant thing in the universe. You’re holding your son on your hip as Flip opens the door, already extending a hand for him to shake.

“Shalom Rabbi, thank you so much for joining us tonight, we can’t tell you how much of an honor it is.” You beam, as if you hadn’t had a total breakdown only that morning, as Flip invites the Rabbi inside.

“Of course Mr. and Mrs. Zimmerman, the honor is mine. And may I say, you have a beautiful home.” He looks around appreciatively, giving a nod of approval that has all the air rushing out of your lungs.

“I’m thrilled to hear you think so.” You grin, leading him through your home and into the dining room where your other guests have been happily entertaining themselves, “Shall we get started then?”

“They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat!” Flip announces, and that has everyone laughing, including the Rabbi.

And as the Seder commences, Flip looks across the table and gives his son a wink. In return, he lets out a small giggling laugh, glad that all the preparations and chaos you put them through have successfully paid off.

                                                     ------------------

Taggin’ some Flip lovin’ friends! @mochabucky​​ @sacklerscumrag​​ @artsymaddie​​ @bitchydecisions​​ @direnightshade​​ @reyloaddict55​​ @thembohux​​  @sunflowersinthesnow​​ @babayagakeanu​​ @safarigirlsp​​  @steeevienicks​​  @the-unmanaged-mischief​​ @materialisthicc​​  @hswritingrecs​​  @han68000​​ @rosi3ba3z​​ @chapterhappygirl​​​ @loverofallthings​​​  @bxnnywriting​ @groovetoob​ 

[hughiecampbelle]

Being The Smartest Shelby Would Include:

Polly knew you were smart from the start

She said so when you were a baby, but of course no one believed her

Everyone thought their kids were special, but you really were

Born just a few years before Finn, you weren't the baby, but you definitely weren't the oldest, so it was hard to be taken seriously

It started with your homework

You spent a lot of nights trying to tell your siblings it was just too easy

You weren't just getting every answer right, you were finishing pages of work in minutes, faster than anyone in your class

Eventually, you moved on to your brothers work

Finding it discarded on the table, you recognized Johns scraggly handwriting

He'd only made it halfway through, so you decided to finish it, even fixing some of his mistakes along the way

You wanted to show them what you'd done, but of course no one listened

At least, not until you stood on your chair and demanded that someone look over your work

It was a bit dramatic, and made for an embarassing story later, but you wanted to be heard

They did, finally, and they were shocked

Tommy handed it to John, who passed to Ada, skipping over Arthur, who eventually got it to Polly

"Well?"

"It's right, all of it. . . ."

"Fuck."

It wasn't just math though. You were reading every book you could find, even the ones your siblings struggled to get through

You had a knack for puzzles, for figuring things out no one else could, able to pull things apart and put them together just in your head

Polly knew, and she was going to do something about it

Anything she could find to keep you entertained, occupied, your mind at work, she'd bring it home

You had an incredible memory too, remembering everything from the contents on the back of bottles you brothers drank from to entire speeches Polly gave when all of you were misbehaving

It was amazing, to say the least

You were a kid when your brothers went off to war, so it was mostly Ada and Polly who spent long nights with you at the table over homework

You didn't think it was fair, that you were forced to stay in school when none of your siblings were

Polly called it a gift, said you shouldn't take it for granted

She had big plans for you, the kind of career kids like you could only dream of

Finn grows up with you reading to him every night

Even helping him with schoolwork, though that didn't last very long

It still irks you Polly let's Finn drop school, not even getting past reading himself, but you know better than to push the subject

By the time your brothers come back, thankfully all in one piece, you've become a bit of a myth or legend around the Small Heath

Not only are you taller and with more acne, a young teenager, you've made a name for yourself, and a business

After school you could be found with a hat on the ground, getting pocket change for your "abilities"

Showing off and splitting the money with friends, you put on shows

Memorizing the faces of strangers, drawing them almost perfectly by hand, reciting lines of poetry from class all from memory, etc.

Sometimes you bring Finn along, promising candy for his silence, making him part of the act

Your favorite is showing off the languages you've lesrned, switching between Romani, French, Italian, and German (to name a few) without a second thought, so effortlessly

Arthur caught you once, but instead of saying anything, he simply cheered you on, laughing at the fact that your business was doing better than the familys

You spent a lot of time in the shop like Finn, growing up there, but never really allowed in on business, not even to listen

Instead you were ordered to be quiet and focus on your studies

And you did, for a few years, slipping notes to John about what you thought would improve business, pressing your ear to the door to listen, putting up with being categorized as "one of the kids" with Finn

And then you made an announcement, one that almost killed Polly

You weren't going to university, and instead you'd be joining the family business

Your aunt put up a good fight, but your brothers were more than happy to welcome you, with rules of course

Ada wasn't too thrilled either, knowing how smart you were, and how special it was, but she wasn't going to stop you

Pol was, or at least she was going to try

"You could be anything you want y/n."

"And I choose this."

"You're-"

"Wasting my potential? So you've said."

You'd be more behind the scenes, working on the business side rather than the side with razors and guns

Your brothers were more than happy to hear that, though you'd gotten more than a few comments muttered by Pol

If you really wanted to, you could always be a doctor or a lawyer later in life, for now this is what you wanted most

You were finally part of your family

Within the first week, you have a full list of what could be improved and you're center stage in the family meeting

To say that was nerve wrecking was an understatement

Tommy had his doubts, of course, but John knew you'd been keeping their heads above water for a long time

"Go on then, you've got our attention."

You were the one they went to check over the books, the numbers, catching mistakes no one else did

It wasn't just spelling mistakes or addition issues, you were taking stock in inventory, in all the bullets that were wasted, the little things that went missing that no one seemed to notice

It didn't take long for you to work your way up, prove yourself not only to Tommy, but Pol too, showing her this wasn't a waste of your time

She's still not thrilled, but you're as stubborn as the rest, and she knows it's a losing battle

At least you're being smart with your work

Tommy made you check over every contract and agreement he made, making sure he didn't miss a single detail that would screw them over

He brought you to the races too, working out probability, though your math was shaky at best under that kind of pressure and uncertainty

You were the one counting the profits and losses too, weighing the options of whether or not to invest

You're really the only one who knows just how much the family makes

That is a dangerous thing in itself

You make friends quite easily

Not only can you speak an array of languages, bonding with everyone, but you've got that Shelby charm and good looks, too

You're quite popular, though your brothers constantly get in the way of any potential relationship

You're smart though, and not just for their gain, but yours too

If and when you're ready to date, you'll find a way

Alfie adores you

Tommy drives him mad, but he'd have you over any day

Not only does he love the fact that you can keep up with him, witty beyond belief, but your Hebrew is perfect

"So, you're the brains behind the whole operation?"

"Something like that."

You're brought along to a lot of in person deals

You pick up on things no one else does, remembering the littlest of things that can and will be weaponized if need be

Their kids and spouses names, the way they look at you, how they speak and carry themselves

It doesn't take long for you to know exactly who they are

"They're lying Tom. I know they are."

"How can you tell?"

"They look away when they answer, their eye twitches, and they always lean forward when they're saying something true."

"You got all that from a five minute conversation?"

You're not only their beloved little sibling, but the perfect weapon

They don't teach you how to use a gun, but you've been watching for years, making note of every tiny detail

When you do use a gun, which is inevitable, it's a perfect shot

Arthur and Tom insist you carry something with you, but you're fine sticking with a simple razor

The guns can stay with them. . . .

Not only does it come in handy with work, but your family, too

You pick up on the way Arthur escalates, talking him down before there's a full outburst

You know the nights Tommy does and doesn't sleep just by the sound of his voice, the way he signs his name

You know when to check up on Ada if she's not doing well after Freddies gone, even if no one else can see the hurt in her eyes

That's the thing everyone seems to forget, is that you're not only book smart, but people smart, too

Constantly making fun of your siblings right in front of them

"Pol, y/n's making fun of me!"

"I am not! You don't even speak Russian."

"No, but I can guess."

He'd never admit it to you, but Finn really is amazed by you

Ever since he was a kid he always looked up to you

School and homework and all that never came easy to him, and it lead to him giving up, so the fact that all of this comes so easy makes him proud to be your brother

"Y/n, curse in a language we all know or don't say it all."

Along with learning weapons along the way, you pick up on how to be a nurse, tending to whatever it needed

From your nieces and nephews scraped knees to bullet wounds

"Do not get blood on my new shirt!"

No one really suspects you to be listening or watching the way you do, so when they need it, you go "undercover"

Gaining the trust of the enemy, pretending to be a stranger that just so happens to get their attention as if you hadn't been figuring out what makes them tick, distracting them with drinks and small talk

If anything goes wrong, you picked up on how to get away, how to fight without getting too much attention, and not just by watching

With a memory like yours, there are some things you'd like to forget and can't

A lot of things do leave you with nightmares, with flashes of panic, with this dreadful feeling in your gut like you'd seen it all before

At one point or another you've called your siblings and aunt in the middle of the night, just to check up on them, see if they're okay

Begging your brothers to be more careful

They rarely ever listen though

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"I can't go on a date."

"Nope, not until you're forty."

"Come on Arthur, you can't scare them all away."

Despite all this, you're still treated like a child

Your siblings still see you as that smart little kid correcting their work and growing bored of even the most complicated things

No matter what you do or say, you'll always be small in their eyes

[cupcakey00]

It’s Just Instinct

Here’s to my first one-shot, everyone! (edit: it’s actually not a one-shot since there will be another part or 2 lol oops) In which Cassian struggles to adjust to the overwhelming instincts to protect Nesta.

 Words: 2,325

there is some NSFW content in this.

Nesta could count on both hands the number of times she had to intervene to stop a murder where Cassian was involved, especially since they’d mated just one month prior. The first time had been only two days into their mating frenzy. Lord Devlon may have been many things, but a fool was not one of them.

Or so he thought.

Unbeknownst to the pair, the camp lord in doing his rounds managed to hear the throes of their passion, and made the decision to send a young female to deliver war reports to Cassian as opposed to their usual male. Unbeknownst to Devlon, Cassian had recently discovered Nesta’s attraction males and females. Suffice to say, it was only Nesta’s iron grip on his bicep and pushing on his chest while screaming for the Illyrian to “leave! You have to go!” that stopped him from tearing the poor young female to shreds at just the scent of her outside their door as she slid reports through the gap. After all, their Commander was busy, but so were their enemies.

Unsurprisingly, Devlon was unimpressed.

The second time came when Azriel had visited during the third day of their mating, unannounced, hoping to visit his friend and discuss the Illyrian rebels. Unfortunately for Azriel, his personal vow never to spy on his family finally became his crux. At the sound of Azriel’s feet touching ground from outside the cabin door, Cassian’s eyes dilated, his muscles tensed, and his breath hitched. Nesta knew what was coming next, although this time, she couldn’t stop it. Not when Cassian was still strung up from the female’s visit the prior day, and most certainly not when he was interrupted with his head between Nesta’s legs.

Azriel realized immediately his mistake the moment he landed, but he knew he could not simply leave. He knew that would only make it worse. Worst case scenario, Cassian would pursue him for days during his frenzy if he deemed Azriel enough of a threat, so long as the threat of being away from Nesta for long didn’t outweigh the perceived threat to Nesta; he had seen the look in his eyes long before Nesta and Cassian were mated. He saw the thirst for blood at any male – and, recently, female – who so much as looked at Nesta a few moments too long. Whether it was in protection or possession, Azriel didn’t know. He didn’t think Cassian did either. Granted, he always kept a leash on himself for Nesta’s sake and his own. It wasn’t fair to Nesta to be treated like an object, especially not one that he owned. That, Cassian knew. Thus, Azriel stayed. He waited, deciding that staying silent, allowing for Cassian to make the first move, would allow for his brother to calm down, register him not as a threat, but as a friend who meant no harm nor claim to his mate.

Surprisingly, Azriel, too, was a fool.

In Cassian’s cloudy, newly mated mind, the Night Court’s spy and Shadowsinger’s silence and stillness confirmed one thing and one thing alone: he was there to lust over the sound of his Nesta crying out in ecstasy, a hymn promised to Cassian and Cassian alone. Nesta had just reached the point of unintelligibility, unable to articulate a single word or thought with Cassian’s mouth feasting on her dripping center after teasing the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs with his tongue and breath for what had to have been hours, bringing Nesta to near tears, begging Cassian for more, begging him to let her come. For a cruel amount of time, Cassian would not relent, tracing and blowing; sucking oh so near it, never on it, telling her about how “you’re so pretty when you’re begging me to let you come, Sweetheart. You’re going to have to wait for that.” He was never merciful enough to tell her how long she had to wait. (The only reason he had the self-control to delay it was because of how thoroughly he fucked her the previous two days.)

Nesta had been close, no longer able to make a single sound except for gasps and high-pitched whimpers with her back arched off their dining room table, one hand gripping Cassian’s dark hair at the root as his hands kept her legs spread wide open, forcing her hips down, forbidding her from grinding on his face, while her other hand gripped the tablecloth. With her back arched, he couldn’t see her face, so he watched Nesta’s pert nipples instead, still red and raw from his previous ministrations, lips around one nipple sucking, tongue flicking, teeth biting, while his fingers twisted and tugged at the other, alternating whenever he felt like it. The red was mostly faded.

He’d have to fix that.

Cassian knew that while the denial for release was torture for Nesta for the time being, her orgasm by the end couldn’t possibly be anything short of mind-shattering. He sent a prayer to whatever gods were listening that he’d be able to feel her walls clench around his tongue fucking her, nose rubbing against her clit. He could only hope she wouldn’t squeeze so tight around him that his tongue was forced out of her pretty pink hole while her walls contracted; he couldn’t let any of her sacred nectar go to waste on their dining room table.

He’d lick it up right off the wood, maintaining eye contact with Nesta if he had to.

The other part of him, the more primal, male part of him, craved the satisfaction of making his mate come so devastatingly he wouldn’t be able to keep his tongue inside, tip of his tongue massaging her G-spot through her release. He hadn’t dared come close to it yet; he knew that’d put an end to their fun. Everyone knew the journey was more important than the destination.

Truly, considering this was the trajectory they were on, it was no wonder Cassian would have brutalized Azriel’s body so badly, Rhysand would have had to rethink who assumed the role of the Night Court’s torturer.

Would have, had Azriel not been forced to use a Siphon-imposed shield around himself, infuriating Cassian even further. Not only had this male heard his lover’s euphoric cries, but he couldn’t even kill him for it, and it was his fault Nesta wasn’t only dripping onto the table instead of his face, she was also needy with the desire to reach the orgasm she had earned. This male thought he could arrive at their doorstep and put a halt to his lover’s pleasure? Unforgiveable.

Azriel wasn’t safe until Rhysand, who then also became the subject of Cassian’s hunt (the third in 24 hours), used his magic to force Cassian back into the cabin and established a shield around it, confining him while allowing Azriel’s shadows to bring him back to Velaris with Nesta screaming for Cassian the entire time – never once leaving the inside; Cassian’s brothers seeing Nesta in such a near-orgasmic state, even if she did put clothes on first, was a sure-fire way for him to level all of Illyria to eliminate them both. This, Nesta knew.

Through their open bond, he could feel what Nesta felt. Had she been in danger, Cassian wouldn’t have been able to ignore her pleas even if he wanted to. Hell, had Cassian been able to think a tad more clearly, he’d have strapped on his Siphons to put more concentrated pressure against Rhysand’s barrier. But alas, there he was, stark-naked body limning with unbridled power, using his magic until it was drained, not a Siphon in sight, snarling near animalistically.

After that ordeal, the message became clear: no one was to come in contact with the Commander or his mate until they left their cabin unless of an emergency. Rhysand imposed a no-go zone of a half-mile radius around their cabin to be kept at all times until indicated otherwise by the Commander himself. It took two weeks until the pair could leave the cabin without fear of murder, although that didn’t stop an incident from popping up almost every day since, especially since Cassian was convinced most of the camp either wanted to kill Nesta or fuck her. Still, Cassian tried. He tried to rein it in, and Nesta could see that. She knew he took no joy in threatening the lives of his fellow Illyrians, no matter how much they hated him. He had to learn to control himself, and learning he was. However, everyone knows that when learning, mistakes are bound to be made.

That was what brought them here, a crowd of wide-eyed Illyrians with bated breath, gazing at the four in fear: Cassian, Nesta, and a young male who’d been training with an older Illyrian.

Nesta placed a hand firmly on his chest, assuring, “Cass, I’m okay,” as Cassian’s eyes and stance guaranteed violence, twin blades in either hand. His eyes held nearly none of their characteristically striking hazel, instead swallowed by the black abyss of a predator salivating for a hunt. The scent of the blood trickling from the cut on her upper arm was suffocating him. He couldn’t breathe, his body wouldn’t let him. Not when he was so close to his prize: the young male’s blood bathing his blades. Breathing would only alert his prey to his presence, chancing he’d run.

Then again, Cassian wanted a chase.

Still, Cassian would not move. Instincts begged him kill, maul, maim, but his less animalistic side implored him to drop his weapons and help his mate, to be rational and think clearly.

Still, Cassian could not move. Could not attack the enemy for fear of leaving Nesta unattended, nor drop his weapons for fear of leaving her vulnerable to another attack, never mind that he could wipe out every male, female, and child in the camp with his bare hands if he desired.

Nesta, sensing his inner conflict, whispered sweetly to Cassian, “Cassian, Love, I’m safe. I’m healthy, I am happy. I’m okay. You don’t need to do this, you know this.” Facing him, her right hand gripped his shoulder, her left, resting on his abdomen, applying pressure to his body knew she could not remove if she wanted the boy to live. Still, it wasn’t enough for him to break eye contact with the young Illyrian. Slowly, she slid her hand from his abdomen up to his heart, feeling the melodic thump, thump, thump that always grounded her, whether she was facing a nightmare or the much more nefarious demons of her conscious mind.

Still gripping his shoulder, she removed her hand from his chest and pressed her body against his, reaching down in search of his fingers. Immediately his grip softened from his weapon, seeking the warmth and comfort of Nesta’s embrace above all else. Gripping his hand gently, she took a step back. At this, Cassian’s eyes snapped down in alarm until she placed his hand over her beating heart, hand atop his, unblinking as she watched the bloodlust drain from his gaze as he peered into her own, his eyes a telescope gazing upon the stars within the vast edges of the universe people deigned to refer to simply as Nesta’s eyes. Cassian knew he could spend the rest of his immortal life studying them and still he’d have more to learn. Nesta would let him.

In his heart, Cassian knew she could take care of herself, that it was an honest accident. The boy was still learning how to hold a sword, it wasn’t his fault he had it parried out of his grip, especially when it was Nesta who hadn’t realized she wasn’t the compulsory 15 meters away from the fighting pair; she’d been busy running back and forth bringing ice to the healers. Truly, if fault had to be blamed, Nesta laid claim to most of it.

Not that it mattered to Cassian, of course.

In his eyes were terror, veiled thinly only by the stubborn rage. In them, she discerned all his fears…his regrets that he couldn’t save Nesta from the Cauldron. She saw the same look in his eyes he had when they almost died together during the war, and finally she understood. She understood why he’d been so protective. That not only did he struggle with believing he wasn’t enough for his people, but for his own mate too. For the love of his life, his whole world. For his sole reason for living for the past 500 years, the present, and the eternal future. Her gaze was piercing, imploring, begging him to forgive himself, begging him to have mercy on himself, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not yet had he proven himself worthy of his mate, nor might he ever.

At this, Nesta was the one to feel fear. Not at Cassian, but for him; a life of regrets and guilt is not a life at all, especially for an immortal.

From his shoulder she removed her remaining hand, gently grasping his own, the second twin blade dropping into the mud, and placed his large palm over her cheek, using it to cradle her face. She smiled sadly, tears threatening to spill over as she nestled her cheek into his palm, feeling the rough callouses she wished she could engrave onto her soul so that she’d never be without them.

Those tears? Cassian hated them. Each one that threatened to fall was yet another one of his failures, an indication of Nesta’s pain. Pain that he caused in his own inadequacy. He could never forgive himself.

This wasn’t a conversation they could have in front of a crowd, so she whispered, just barely audible, “take me home,” and instantly, he pulled her body flush against his and flew to the cottage that became the both of theirs, everyone else be damned.

One day, Cassian will learn. Just not today.

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There will be a part 2, maybe a part 3!! I hope you enjoyed :)

tag: @arinbelle