#The other two I saw in the hospital

[cassandralexxx]

Motherfucker man.

Im part of a volunteer organization where we are there for people’s last 72 hours. It’s an on call process, and I’ve only ever actually been to one call. A couple of other times when I’ve gotten the message i got the subsequent “call canceled” message before my blocked time.

Today, however. Today I receive a call at ■■:53 I respond at ■■:57 and I leave my apartment ■■:03. I check my watch on the elevator. It is ■■:18. I talk to the nurse she tells me it’s a good thing I got there when I did. She walks me to the room. I put my bag down and reach to the hand sanitizer to disinfect my hands before donning the gown and gloves. There is an abnormal amount of people in the room for a dying person. “It’s happening now” “we haven’t even hung the morphine yet”. Its no longer a dying person.“Call the time”… “■■:20”. A nurse in the room says they held their hand the whole time, seemingly to no one, maybe to me. 

I turn. I leave.

Idk why I wrote that. The goal is so that the person is not alone, we don’t enter the world alone we shouldn’t leave it that way. And they didn’t their hand was held by a nurse that knew them. It’s a mix of emotions, in part I wish I could have somehow made my timing quicker there was 6 minutes of wasted time on my part. But it doesn’t matter if I was there, they had someone. Someone they have interacted with and that’s more meaningful. It’s sobering how quickly someone can pass. I was subdued. As I left another nurse pointed out to me I was headed the wrong direction and the first nurse that lead me told them to look at the monitors. They had to be physically turned away from the monitor after looking. They weren’t alone and that’s what matters. I wish I could have done more but what? I never got to see them. I saw the curtain and the nurses but never them.

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

[yippie-madness]

its always bad when its both me and janet, we can only take one set of mental illnesses at once not both

[raventhekittycat]

I know it's Ryousuke but I genuinely thought it was a woman there for a hot second

[chibishortdeath]

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

[evilpenguinrika]

saw the new teeny baby today

very smol, very cute, lots of hair

[muninnhuginn]

Post s2e9 confirmations and speculations as of this ep, starting with confirmations and moving on to thoughts/speculations.

Before I start, just going to link my speculations as of a couple of episodes ago here because they're surprisingly either still relevant or have been confirmed either way. Of these, the main pieces still outstanding are Liu Min's phone and the serial murders.

Fountain boy low-key confirmed to be Liu Min's younger brother (Liu Xiao, apparently?). He knew Tianchen would soon be given the opportunity to "hunt" and lo, there is Liu Min (who even vaguely recognised Tianchen which makes sense if he's an acquaintance of his brother's). His own surname is Liu and obviously that's a pretty common name, but the fact he had someone driving him around means he's pretty rich and, well, son of a games company CEO seems pretty rich indeed. Apply law of conservation of detail and this one is now locked in at 95%. Fountain boy = Liu Xiao = "hunter" = hat guy (the last I'm a bit less certain of, but again, conservation of detail and there aren't many episodes left).

I'd been wondering about the weird focus the neighbour got in terms of his gaming so him being someone Liu Min wanted taken care of made that entire side of things click for me. Liu Min was terminally online and so was the neighbour. Tianchen must've thought it karma that he had this opportunity.

Third story: Tianchen as red eyes, going further and further as Tianxi is forced to watch until he goes too far even for her - at which point she broke free and tried to appeal to Lu Guang (but why him?). (All that said, Tianchen claims he killed both their parents, but we didn't actually see it properly in any of the flashbacks which could just be because they're being careful with the censors but I'm still side-eyeing it until we see exactly what happened. After all, there was no knife in the picture when we left the scene.) Tianxi's story I'm presuming is simply an animated version of what Tianxi is showing Qiao Ling to tell her story.

Speaking of, Tianxi "broke free" in her school uniform and that was also how she was found. Does that place the hoodie scenes in the hospital as before she fled? Because rewatching a bit of ep 4 and it seemed that QJ was talking to Tianchen-as-Tianxi then (could be wrong, 'Tianxi' never spoke that we heard in this scene but it being actual Tianxi rather than Tianchen raises so many more questions) which would imply she was missing after the hospital and that's when they implemented the disguising plan. Thinking about the "sorry" scenes in the third story and wondering if Chen Bin was the final straw for Tianxi.

First/second story: The Romeo and Juliet backstage they're at was indeed as I saw a few people speculating a production featuring Qian Jin's wife and her co-star. Tianchen "I killed them both" @ Qian Jin: wow he just like me fr. (But nah this definitely raises more questions about the murder of his wife). (Also, just to note that I'm putting the different perspective of QJ meeting LTX and LTC down to the unreliable nature of Xiao Li relaying info initially rather than alternate timelines. Can't rule it out, of course (and the blood on Tianxi in only one of the tellings has me even more hesitant), but unreliable narrator seems an easier fit at this stage. We also know QJ doctored the case files and if LTC outright told him "I killed them both" then that sure didn't make it to the files.)

Qian Jin's motives now back up in the air. Initially it seemed as though he wanted the powers so he could bring his wife back, but with the revelation that he had reason to believe she was cheating (and pregnant with the person she was cheating on him with) the idea he would want her back seems... a lot less likely. Also, his break from morals is placed a lot earlier than it seemed from the outside. Those in the police thought he was outstanding etc etc until his wife died, but he was gone long before that. Ultimately, in both cases with alleged cheating it doesn't matter if the person themselves was cheating because they didn't deserve to be killed for it, but it is fascinating that we're presented with these two similar scenarios from two entirely different perspectives. Li Tianchen and Tianxi as victims of domestic abuse by the person who believes they're being cheated on whilst Qian Jin is the role of the husband who believes he's being cheated on. (The way the pregnancy reveal is played - QJ not seeing his wife often because he was always at work, her startling when caught on the phone - it does seem like he takes the pregnancy as confirmation that she was cheating as the pregnancy couldn't have been with him. She's already dead at that point though.)

With the current timeline we have, I don't know whether QJ engineered the initial killing of his wife (and the fact the culprit escaped legal justice actually kinda makes me think that he didn't), but I do think he used Tianchen after the fact to set up the suicide and suicide note of the killer

The serial killings. We originally believed there were eight in total, starting with Emma. However, this episode shifts the timeline somewhat. Liu Min says thank you for dealing with "that woman", but he still seems to have use of his legs so presumably "that woman" isn't Emma and this is taking place beforehand. Which would imply there are a number of extra victims the police haven't uncovered. (The alternative is that this flashback was in a timeline before the Emma stuff went so wrong and Liu Min still had use of his legs? I'm really hoping it's not this because it'd break my brain a bit) This also somewhat explains how the police were unable to tie motives together for the serial killings if it was a killing-for-hire type scenario, though I do still somewhat believe there's some underlying logic that QJ either bought into himself or was able to make Tianchen buy into in order to believe the victims weren't "innocent"

[like-sands-of-time]

Any house md fans that also read Cassandra Clares clockwork series? Because huddson (House, Cuddy, Wilson) reminded me of that dynamic quite a bit. House loves two people in his life, one he can love and spend a "lifetime" with, as Wilson dies from cancer. And the other, whom he can love and finish his life with after Wilson's gone.

Neither one is loved less and they both led their own lives, of course, but for better and mostly worse, they revolve around each other.

[ginalinettiofficial]

it was my birthday on sunday and i have known for MONTHS that my sister would be out of town and we are all adults and i still talked to her on the phone ofc she called me first thing when she woke up that morning and i saw her literally the next day but i still spent the whole day with a part of me just sad because she wasn’t there. and then the next day she was there and we fought!!! and she pissed me off and i pissed her off!!! but i still wanted her there and i think sometimes abt how idk if only children will ever love someone the way you love your siblings. that kind of love is inimitable

[orcelito]

i think it's just in my nature to get stabbed

if i count this, then this would be the 3rd stabbing i have endured

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?

I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.

Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.

My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.

Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"

No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.

Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.

There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?

That's not our responsibility, they said.

But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.

My niece gives me Covid.

This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.

The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.

Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.

It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.

[billgenbrough]

As AJR once said

Oh, I'm spiraling now

[nexus-nebulae]

my lucky golden frog got me a book today :)))) ive been looking for it for months now but it's always sold out but they just got a copy (the Exact copy i wanted!!) TODAY!!!! and i just Happened to go there and saw it literally two seconds after i said "would they have a copy of house of leaves- probably not"

[quietlyblooms]

you'd die ... you'd die ! / from madoka :)

bandersnatch | @quirk3d doesn't want chiyo to go!!

" have a little faith, " she softly asks of madoka, placing her free hand upon his. he hasn't let go of her wrist, eyes wide as they stare back at her. it hurts to see him so worried before she's even seen him smile. she may have chosen to become a teacher to have a break from the stress of being a pro hero, but that doesn't mean anything when explosions and screams ring out; she can't just hang back when there are people in trouble. that was never her personality, even before she properly learned how to use her quirk.

if chiyo can help, then she must. even if that worries madoka.

" they'll never even see me coming. " she squeezes his hand, gently starts to pull away. " get somewhere safe, and i'll find you after this all cools down, 'kay? then we'll eat something delicious -- forget all about this little hiccup. i promise. "

[one-time-i-dreamt]

On May 19 Sgt. Michael Kunovich deemed him suspicious while outside the Super 8 motel parking lot. Aguilar Mendez was sitting down eating but started to walk away when the officer approached in his patrol vehicle. Kunovich began to question him, but Aguilar Mendez couldn't understand him or communicate well and repeated that he was sorry. That's when Kunovich decided to search him, and Aguilar Mendez resisted. Two other deputies arrived to assist in taking the 5-foot-4, 115-pound teen to the ground as Kunovich repeatedly stunned him with his taser, all seen on body-worn camera video. Aguilar Mendez can be heard screaming for his family and is seen trying to gain control of the taser as the officers note in the video. Toward the end of the 6-minute scuffle, the deputies saw that their handcuffed suspect had a small folding knife and disarmed him. Kunovich collapsed a short time later in medical distress and died at the hospital, the Sheriff's Office said. Aguilar Mendez, who came here from Guatemala, was staying with other farmworkers at the hotel. He is being detained without bail, which is the subject of another hearing as yet to be decided. (source)

I'm going to need you all to start spreading awareness about this case and sign the petition. I'm a 5'4 woman and I weigh more than him. He's only 18, indigenous and doesn't understand English nor Spanish really. I can't imagine how confused and scared he was. Tased 6 times and apologizing repeatedly and calling out for his family... he is not responsible for the police officer's death. The fact he's been held for 8 months without bail is disgusting.

Virgilio looks so small, sad and defeated in all of the images I've seen of him.

[tuulikki]

The thing is that the portrayal of Neanderthals as having been inherently grotesque and alien to H. sapiens is something we will never have proof of. But we do have proof that, in different locations and in different populations across time, we all found eachother desirable. We saw eachother and wanted to touch. And the offspring were held by their mothers and raised and had their own offspring in turn.

When you look for the first proof that H. sapiens found Neanderthals repulsive, you have to wait until the Victorian era, when the white masters of empires were busy portraying Neanderthals as stupid, brutish, and (of course) dark-skinned.

In more modern times, we’ve had people arguing that instead of seeing Neanderthals as Benighted Savages, they should instead be seen as Noble Savages, (allegedly) cruelly destroyed and driven from their lands by H. sapiens. Which one of their two you believe says more about your modern political views than it does about ancient H. sapiens.

And, whether we construct Neanderthals as Savage or Noble Savage, the fundamental assumption we project into the unfathomably distant past is still that H. sapiens saw Neanderthals as an Other, with the language we use being almost explicitly that of modern racial dynamics.

But we have no proof of any of that. We have no proof of hostilities. We know we co-existed and we had sex. That’s it.

Humans obviously have sex with some humans and kill others. We also know that, when small groups of humans occupy vast spaces with infrequent contact with others, unique cultures will always form, some more hospitable, some more neophobic/xenophobic. But many cultures of small settlements placed among huge unpeopled landscapes place supreme emphasis on hospitality to strangers. Plus, we fucking love other social animals, as evidenced by how we befriended wolves.

I’m a humourless weirdo and a wet blanket about popular constructions of Neanderthals as “monstrous”, and I freely admit it. But that’s because it’s tied up in legacies of imperialism. Not only that, but it also privileges one culture (yours, mine, modernity’s) as being most human by implicitly assuming we can project it onto people in the past. Since you don’t pretend that all global cultures share exact same values as you do, it doesn’t take more than a few moments’ reflection to realise you can’t do that to the past.