#The one that says ''you have to engage with the genre. If I'm watching Lord of the Rings I'm a monarchist for the next nine hours.''

[amplexadversary]

I'm going to say something controversial but all the people arguing over whether Liliana "deserves" to be saved are maybe missing the point in favor of the puritanism that's been moldering into fandom.

It's fiction. Unless a character annoys you for a personal reason or you have a really good argument that a character biting it would make for a better story, you're generally expected to sympathize with the protagonists. The factor that decides if Liliana deserves to be saved is that the party wants to put in the effort to save her.

That's all there is to it.

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | 28: Without you, my heart doesn’t know peace

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): MC and Teddy being cute, nothing more [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

"Teddy, are you sure this is a good idea?", you ask unsure, tugging at the sleeves of your — actually Theodore's — green sweater. 

He laughs breathily and runs a hand through his brown locks. "If you say my name like that I'm not sure how much flying we'll do." He leans against his broom, smirk adorning his face.

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. If you're going to be stupid about it, I'll just leave."

"Hey, hey. What's with the attitude?" Theo grabs your hand and pulls you towards him. He has a concerned look on his face as his eyes peer into yours.

A sigh leaves your lips. "I'm sorry... I'm not the biggest fan of heights. I've always hated when I had to climb a ladder, and I hated it even more when we had to take flying class." You look away, your cheeks flaming hot in embarrassment.

Theo lays a hand on your cheek, making you look at him. "It's okay. I understand. But know that I would let nothing happen to you. And I won't force you into anything. If you don't want to fly, you don't have to fly."

Why, in Merlin's name, does Theodore have to be so sweet? He makes everything so much harder for you. "Fine", you sigh again, this time louder. "I promised after all. Just... not higher than a few feet, okay?"

Theo beams at you, pecking your lips and hugging you tightly. He lets go of you and straddles his broom. With a stretched-out hand, he waits patiently for you to take it. When you eventually place your hand in his, he pulls you onto the broom and makes you sit at the front. He lays his hands over yours so you're holding onto the broom tightly.

"Ready?", he asks and pushes the both of you off the ground once you nod. 

A yelp escapes your lips as you watch the ground underneath your feet disappear. Theo hoovers a minute or so above the ground before he slowly starts to float around the Quidditch stadium, slowly looping around the goalposts and letting the wind ruffle your hair. 

After a while, he touches down again and you let yourself drop to the grass on your hands and knees. You can't describe how happy you feel to feel grass again.

"Do you trust me?"

You turn towards Theodore and he looks at you hopeful. You hate to crush his good spirit so you nod. This time, you're the first to take place on the broom. Theo's in front of you.

"Hold on to me tightly. And don't be afraid to squeeze." And with that, he pushes off the ground and the two of you raise metres in the air. 

You scream, pressing your face to his back while holding on tightly to his torso. You hear him laugh while he flies around. It doesn't feel as violent as when he flies during Quidditch, but you're shitting seven colours.

"Open your eyes."

"No!", you protest.

"Didn't you say you trusted me? So, open your eyes."

Reluctantly, you open your eyes and gasp. You're flying above Hogwarts, giving you a never-before-seen view of the castle. You didn't realise how massive the castle actually was.

Theo calmly flies around the perimeter of the castle, weaving between the towers and through the many gardens. He lowers the broom to fly over the Black Lake and you even dare to touch the water. 

When he finally lands, the both of you are on a rooftop terrace, the same one you brought him the night of the Yule ball. With shaky legs, you drop yourself on a stone bench.

"You okay?", he asks with a smile, laying his broom down and moving to sit next to you.

You nod and hum, dropping your head on Theo's shoulder as you watch the view. "What do you want to be when you grow up?", you ask, the question suddenly flashing through your mind.

Theo fiddles with his thumbs. "I've always understood that I had to take a Ministry job, like my father. But I don't like office jobs. They're boring. And I don't want to be an Auror or anything law enforcement-related. Once all this is over, I want to live a peaceful life."

You're surprised by his profound words, not expecting it. You always thought he would be excited at the prospect of being an Auror or Curse Breaker.

"And you?" He grabs your hands, playing with your fingers nervously.

"I want to leave. Leave England and explore the world. Settle down somewhere unknown and build up a life without the prejudices that my name brings. I know I won't get it anywhere near here. What I do after that... I don't know. I'll figure it out."

The two of you stay in silence for a while, letting each other's words sink in.

After a while, you raise your head from Theo's shoulder and look at him. "Is there- is there a place for me... in your peaceful life?"

Theodore looks at you, his eyes filled with adoration for you. He leans closer, his lips almost touching yours. "My love, without you, my heart doesn't know peace."

You giggle, a happy smile. You press your lips against him, closing your eyes. He hums and lays a hand on the nape of your neck. A small moan escapes your throat as the kiss deepens, both of your lips slotting against each other perfectly.

"Fucking hell, baby", he grumbles against the skin of your neck, placing kisses and sucking on the delicate spot that has you shuddering. He pulls you on his lap, your hand going up and into his hair. You tug on the strands, your body moving involuntarily against Theo's.

"Teddy", you whine as he moans against your neck, leaving his mark. "We can't- we shouldn't. Not in the open."

Theo hates that you're right. Because he knows that if you continue, there will be too much to be seen by a random student or teacher if they happen upon you.

He wraps a hand around your throat, studying the bruises that start to form with a satisfied smirk. His eyes flicker to your face, and how hot your cheeks feel against his hand. 

"Am I your first kiss?", he asks with a gleeful grin, licking his lips.

You freeze and look away from him, feeling busted. Even though you've done nothing wrong, you still feel guilty for what happened.

Theo narrows his eyes, pushing your face towards him with a caress of his knuckles. "Oh? Have you kissed someone before?" 

"You're not gonna like who, so I'm not going to tell." You lean forward and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

"Now I'm really curious. Do I personally know them?"

You nod, still not lifting your face. You feel him hum, one of his hands rubbing up and down your spine.

"What was his name..? That blond fucker from fourth year?"

"Gjol? Well... he is a great dancer."

Theo pulls your face away from his neck to look into your eyes. "Don't tell me the Swedish fucker beat me to it?" He looks very serious, but you can see a playful twinkle dancing in his eyes. So you shake your head.

"As I said, you're not going to like it. I won't kiss and tell, Teddy." With that, you slide off Theo's lap.

He grabs your hand to keep you close to him. "Was it Potter?", he asks in a joking manner. You still and his eyes grow wide. "It was fucking Potter? When? HOW?"

You quickly let go of his hand and dash away from him, your face as hot as the sun. Theo runs after you, yelling out profanities at the bespectacled boy. "Next time I see him. Oh, I am going to shove those prissy glasses so far up his ass that he farts glass."

He catches you and you laugh, shaking your head. "No, you're not. He was a mistake. And you're not. So don't make me change my mind."

Theo's scowl changes to a smile in an instant, caging you into his arms. "Oh baby, I would do so much more than that for you. But your wish is my command. Now, I want an apology." He purses his lips ridiculously, earning a laugh from you. 

Taking his head in both of your hands, you squeeze his cheeks together. You peck his lips and smile brightly. No... he could never be a mistake.

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry  @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo @literallyobessed @lestat-whore​ @vanishingcherry @harrysnovia @pietrobae @ireallywannasleep127 @yeolsbubbles @fruityfrog505 @fluffybunnyu @theroyalmanatee @shinrjj @hegdus @kermits-bitch @m1kasawps @noah-uhhh-what @mypolicemanharryyy @fals3-g0d @decapitated-coffee @thatgirljas13 @slytherinambitious @mythicalamphitrite @mastermindmiko @timmytime17 @regsg18 @supernatural-lover @bubybubsters

[animentality]

I like love stories.

I hate romance as a genre.

Fuck your happily ever after. I need love that was doomed from the start. I crave the sick and twisted and demented obsession that could only end in one way.

I yearn for love that is destructive, not healing. Or healing, but in a lopsided and grotesque way, where it might have been better to let it die.

I desire death and love tightly intertwined. I admire dark irony and the kind of endings that leave a person stunned and near crying because it's just so unfair and it's just so tragic and it just feels so delicious, it hurt so good.

It was cruel and it was horrible, but it'll stay with you, because within us all lies something wicked, and that part of you must feel seen and heard sometimes.

When I engage with art, I want it to make me think, I want it to make me feel something. I don't feel anything for those coffee shop aus and meet cutes and quirky work romance stories. They're fine and inoffensive, but I want offensive and jarring and dare I say, controversial.

No one writes essays or rants in a discord chat for hours about Hallmark movies.

Romance as a literary genre is a Hallmark movie, just with more sex, white supremacy, and tired gender roles.

How dull.

I'm a fucking edge lord and I absolutely do not care what anyone else thinks of that.

I'll never pick up a book that's marketed as a romance, because I know it'll fail to make me care.

In fact, I'll pick up any other genre than romance, because I know it'll do a love story better than a romance ever could, with that boring ass restriction.

I will read novels where I DONT know if they're gonna make it to the end, where I want them to get together, but maybe they won't.

Even if it angers me, that's still a human emotion, and I engage with art to feel things.

If I wanted to watch two straight white cis people get married and have kids, I'd go knock on my neighbors doors and ask them if I can watch them eat dinner.

That's YOUR romance.

Mine is fantastical and terrible.

[bereft-of-frogs]

friday roundup + a list

I follow a few people who do monthly reading/etc updates and I have always enjoyed reading them and been slightly jealous that I couldn't seem to stick too it, it always felt too overwhelming for the end of the month and I'd put it off, but! idea! combine with my little friday list posts which I'd also stopped doing because I was afraid they were boring so...combo might be interesting enough for me to keep doing them!

reading:

Cabin at the End of the World - Paul Tremblay: I liked this one, especially how, similar to The Pallbearer's Club, you end the novel not really knowing what was real or not and the point is it doesn't matter what was real, only how the characters understood reality.

Bloom - Delilah S Dawson: For book club. It definitely had it's issues (it didn't start off super well), but it was short and captured that fun Hannibal-like energy, where the foreshadowing is super obvious and you're just like noooo nooooooooo girl don't eat it! (I was gratified to get to the acknowledgments and find it was indeed inspired by Hannibal.)

(in progress) Lord of the Rings: Keeping on track with the one-chapter-a-day read through for Lent! We just finished The Two Towers today, onto Return of the King tomorrow.

(in progress) (phone book) Light of the Jedi - Charles Soule: So I'm trying to keep one book going on my phone (a 'phone book' lol) to prevent doomscrolling, and right now I'm rereading the High Republic series and continuing on. I fell behind after Phase 1 ended, but I'd really like to catch back up. Light isn't my favorite of this series and it's not my least favorite -- tbh I stopped reading after Phase 1 because I hated Midnight Horizon that much, I'll be skipping that one on this reread -- I read a review when it first came out that said it felt like the whole novel was inciting incident and I think that's exactly it, it has to do a little bit too much to establish the setting and characters, and never really feels like it gets going. Besides, I tend to like things a little crunchier, so some of the optimism of the start gets kind of grating for me personally. Much prefer the followups and the aftermath, but this isn't bad and it's certainly better than doomscrolling!

(in progress) Notes on an Execution - Danya Kukafka : This is so good. It's so good. I waited a while for the library hold and it was 100% worth the wait, it has that literary fiction style that I really love in my genre fiction on occasion.

watching (tv):

The Bequeathed (Netflix): Didn't live up to my expectations, but that might be on me because I read a review that erroneously called it a 'creature feature' and I was like 'damn, there's going to be a creature, that's crazy, when's the creature showing up??' There was no creature. And the solve to the mystery wasn't that interesting either. Meh.

(in progress) Silo (AppleTV): This show is surprisingly good, as I posted early this week. Like. I heard about it from a true crime podcast ad read, and just kind of watched it because I have a free AppleTV trial and a crush on Rebecca Ferguson. It wasn't meant to actually be good, but...it is??? It's really engaging, and I think shows how much good acting and direction can elevate a script. The ending of the last episode I watched was objectively kind of silly, but it was so well done you felt like it was super serious. Damn though, this is totally going to be the thing that gets me to keep paying for AppleTV because there's going to be another season. Damn. This is how they get you.

watching (film):

Dune Part 1 (2021): I made everyone watch Dune Part 1 in preparation and also it was my birthday and they could not say no. I think my mom made it....15 minutes? but my dad and I had a great time

Dune Part 2 (2024): I was so on top of the IMAX tickets for this, I refreshed that page a hundred times last monday to get the perfect seats in the mid-center and then I did not BUDGE for all 3ish hours of this movie. It was. So good. There was one shot that legit made me feel like I was on a roller coaster. I think I'm going to go see it again next tuesday. It was so good.

video game update: Still stuck on Dead Space. Still stuck on Cult of the Lamb. I'm figuring out how to balance side quests and the main storyline with KOTOR, which is progress, and on my perpetual Fallen Order playthrough I just did the sad Venator side quest and then got to Dathomir for what would have been the first time if I was not always so set on immediately getting the double-bladed lightsaber upgrade.

craft update: I'm two short rows away from being done with the short row section on my sweater vest. Infinity scarf has been derailed because I tangled a skein of yarn so badly it's probably going to take hours to fix it and I need that color to keep going. So. Tabled.

weekend list:

work (boo) - but work has been pretty slow and fridays are my wfh day so the below items will probably partially get done while I'm on the clock

laundry (also boo) / tidy

it's going to rain all day so the secret goal of friday is really just not to leave my house

work on current long wip which, yes, I did end up restarting -- or rather just starting the second draft earlier than I expected. I was going to push through and have a full rough draft before I started the second but it was really rough and I think now that I have 1) the most self-indulgent scenes, 2) all of the 'plot exposition' scenes written it was time to start going in order and straightening out inconsistencies and repetition.

I finally got an HDMI splitter so I can use the PS4 and get un-stuck on Cult of the Lamb (I haven't checked on my cult in so long!!), I just need to reorganize the wires

maybe untangle yarn. maybe. but I think that's going to wait for sunday at the earliest. I need some cooling off time, but once I can look at it without rage, I think it's just a matter of putting on a movie and being patient

go for a run

I hope this is....mildly interesting at least, if not feel free to block the lists tag XD have a good weekend! <3

[swordshapedleaves]

Once again it's time for my seasonal anime opinions no one asked for!

Putting it under the cut because it's long as fuck

New Anime I'm Excited About

Uzumaki It's Uzumaki!

365 Days to the Wedding Introvert coworkers fake an engagement to avoid a work transfer. I fucking love fake dating.

Dandadan An anime guy on youtube already sold me on this one by talking up the manga but the trailers look incredible. I'm too stupid to know what's going on and I don't even care because it looks amazing. Science SARU also made Devilman: Crybaby and Heike Monogatari so this should be a treat to watch.

Demon Lord 2099 This looks sick as fuck, very Shadowrun.

Ao no Miburo I am way more excited for this one than it probably deserves but I love historical dramas. This one is about the Shinsengumi before they were the Shinsengumi. I don't honestly believe Maho Film can pull it off but I really want them to.

New Anime I Plan to Check Out

Lockdown Zone: Lv. X: This could be a good horror show but the teaser trailer is leaving a LOT to the imagination though so it's hard to tell if this is gonna be good.

Negative Positive Angler This anime has cute girls AND boys doing a cute thing, the animation looks really good, and the trailer had good vibes. Might be a tear-jerker since protag-kun has a terminal diagnosis.

How I Attended an All-Guy's Mixer I think this is BL but it's not clear. I will watch in the hopes that the guys kiss.

Chi.: Chikyuu no Undou ni Tsuite Grounded historic anime set in Poland isn't a thing I think I've ever seen before. The animation looks serviceable at best but I'm still hopeful Madhouse will give us another gem.

Ranma ½ (2024) I really wanted to like the original Ranma 1/2 anime but I gave up 28 episodes into its 161 episode run out of exhaustion. Every time it seemed like the main relationship might develop a bit, they backslid to the status quo by the next episode. If this is a less faithful adaptation of the manga and it streamlines the story, I might actually enjoy it. It's being made by MAPPA so at least we know it's going to look incredible.

Yakuza Fiancé Isn't an arranged Yakuza marriage the foundation of one of the greatest anime rom coms of all time? I can't remember the name but I didn't like it. I'm not into gangster stuff, but Studio Deen has made some of my favorite romances and the animation has a really fun bold style.

Nina the Starry Bride I read a bit of the manga and enjoyed it so I'm definitely checking this one out. Signal.MD also made MMO Junkie and The Fire Hunter.

New Anime I'm on the Fence About

I’ll Become a Villainess Who Goes Down in History It doesn't look like a good villainess show but that's never stopped me before! I haven't watched anything by Maho Film before but their winter anime Doctor Elise was supposed to be good. I have high hopes for the other anime they're putting out this season but I'll check this one out as well.

Kinoko Inu Is a story about healing from grief with the help of a fakemon. It says it's heartwarming but the trailer had some sort of last second sting where the guy's house was on fire??? The only other thing I've seen by C-Station is the first couple eps of Yuru Camp, which was too sleepy for my tastes.

Kabushikigaisha Magi-Lumière The premise, that magical girl is just a job you can have and there are start up magical girl companies, is quite charming but the animation is mid and the adult protagonist sidesteps a lot of the emotional core of the genre.

Mechanical Arms Complicated sci fi set up for what looks like a typical shonen battle anime, but I like that it appears our soft boy protag-kun has a girl for a lancer without any romantic tension. This is either a rerelease or a remake of the anime that was released on Vimeo by TriF Studio in 2018? I think?

The Do-Over Damsel Conquers The Dragon Emperor It's giving "we have seventh time loop at home" if the protagonist went for the evil emperor first thing as soon as she looped and he was actually super silly and chill.

Dragon Ball Daima I love that the synopsis is just "New Dragonball series." Fuck you. Its Dragonball. What else do you need to know? Based on the trailer, it looks like the adults get turned into children somehow and then sent to the demon realm. I'm not really a dragonball guy but this looks pretty charming!

[variousqueerthings]

Got my DW magazines (including the latest where all those brainmelting quotes are coming from) and there really is so much loveliness in them, including a letter from RTD:

"The First Great Seismic Shift in Doctor Who was in 1966 when the lead character slumped to the floor and... what? He did what?! He changed into a different actor? For good?! Can you imagine that happening unannounced now? in 1966, there seems to be comparatively little record of the reaction. Did we question less, then? Did we just... watch?

I've got clearer memories of Seismic Shift 2, 1970, the move into colour. Though that didn't mean much; we didn't buy colour TVs overnight, I was still watching in black and white until, ooh, Planet of the Daleks...?"

[...]

Things happened, and we simply kept on watching. We might complain about today's online world, but aren't we wiser now? Less passive, more engaged?

[...]

You probably know the later Seismic Shifts. The return, in 2005. Steven Moffat's astonishing, brilliant, glittering Doctors from 2010 onwards, with the Master becoming Missy. And with a slinky Seismic Shuffle, the Eighth Doctor, who'd disappeared off screen in 1996, finally got to regenerate in 2013 but only on the BBC Red Button! And then Jodie Whittaker fell through the roof of a Sheffield-bound train with an impact so great, it bumped the entire show on to Sunday night, and then she stood up in the wreckage and smiled a smile so bright, it changed the Time Lord and television drama and the whole bloody culture for good and for better.

It really is the most fascinating show because it changes, changes, changes... and yet, it stays the same. 'Doctor Who is all about to change!' say the fans, but I sit here planning the next story in which a police box lands and the Doctor steps out and foils an invasion of Earth thinking to myself, well, is it? But I know what you mean. The feel of the show changes, the essence. Jo and the Doctor and that silver car are a different world, a different style, almost a different genre to Clara facing a Raven on Trap Street.

And now, in 2023, that high-wire-tension of approaching change is in the air. The Doctor mysteriously has a face he's had before. And by the time December rolls around, he'll have yet another new face, in a show that now drops worldwide on a vast streaming platform -- new and old at the same time, as it still stays cradled in its Saturday night home of the good old BBC.

But as I said. Voices are louder this year. Shouting and rage and horror sometimes circle around Doctor Who. And often, that's not about Doctor Who itself, it's expressing anger and fear about life, about love, about self. And I get that! These discussions are us, growing up. In the old days we'd sit in our bedroom and work out the world all on our own. We could only sing along to pop songs to express our lovely,lonely hearts. Now, we type it out, and that's always going to be clumsy. Because expressing yourself isn't easy. Even birthday cards are hard work! So trying to say what you think about life and love and sex and telly in the form of words typed on a page and read by strangers, oh, nightmare! No wonder it goes wrong. But now...

I think there's only one way to meet the changes to come.

With joy.

I'm not asking for good reviews (I've got myself for that, I think these episodes are FABULOUS!) But if you don't like the something, don't exhaust yourself. Just smile and be glad that some people are happy and wait for the next Seismic Shift to come.

Because this programme has trained us well! We have embraced flying cars and the Red Button and the Watcher and the Garm and hey, maybe 'granddaughter' is Gallifreyan for 'friend' (though I don't think so) which means we can delight in anything. And right now, the TARDIS is heading for Skaro, and a wounded spaceship is heading for London, and Shaun is taking an extra shift in his taxi cos he's short of money, and Sylvia is delivering a curry and Donna Noble's daughter needs to go shopping for eyes -- for eyes?! -- and as all these things converge, hold on tight, clutch those tins of beans, cos the next earthquake is rumbling away on the horizon.

Here we go again!

[marley-manson]

3, 5, 6, and 14 for movie asks and i may be back with more ✨️

3. What is a film you absolutely despise and why?

Hmm I can think of a few answers here.

One is Antichrist, which I despise because it's an extremely well-made and engaging movie that's just absolutely wildly misogynist. Not in a women being objectified and mistreated by the narrative way, but literally in a 'the thesis statement of this movie is that women are evil' way lol, featuring certain essentialist masculine and feminine stereotypes taken to extremes. It's Lars Von Trier's divorce movie iirc so yeah. Anyway I hate it personally because I had to watch it for 2 different film studies courses, and the second time I intended to bounce bc I didn't care to watch it again but it's unfortunately so well-made it suckered me into staying, so I have extra resentment towards it for that lol.

Another is Four Christmases because my sister likes those obnoxious 00s comedies and due to circumstances beyond my control I've found myself sitting through it with her like 3 separate times. It's just grating as hell. This is my petty pick.

And I'll finish with Crash (2004). I don't watch a lot of oscar nominated white dude takes on racism but I happened to see this one and good lord it was horrifyingly bad. From the cop apologia to the cardboard cut-out stereotypes to the both sidesism to framing racism as an unfortunate tragedy that's no one's fault rather than a system perpetuated by those with privilege to, most horrifyingly, depicting a rapist as heroic including using the image of his heroism in promotional materials, it was practically a lesson in how bad a critically acclaimed movie could be. And like I recognize that it was trying to be ~morally grey~ with that rapist thing lol but it failed completely. The message was 'despite the assault this guy is still heroic' and not 'despite saving his victim's life this dude is still a fucking racist rapist.'

5. What is your favorite genre of film?

Oof idk, I'm open to almost all genres if it's a good movie. I love genre as a concept and film theory in and of itself, like any film is worth watching if it's a well-known pillar or deconstruction of or twist on its genre. lol I guess maybe I'll say satire? I love commentaries and stories that are responding to something, and satire is a really strong hook for me.

6. What is your least favorite genre of film?

het romcom. I don't hate every single one I've ever seen, but it's a very high percentage lmao, especially if we specify the late 80s/90s resurgence. And of the ones I like, it's always because there's something else going on with the story that's more interesting and lets me tolerate the romance.

14. Who is your favorite director? Why?

I'm not actually much of a cinephile so there aren't a lot of directors whose work I follow, and none whose oeuvre I've fully completed, so I have no solid answer. Most directors I'm into have films I love and films that don't particularly appeal.

That said, my answer right now is Billy Wilder. Every Billy Wilder movie I've seen is an instant fave, and he has a recurring vibe that strongly appeals to me. Wry cynicism, dark humour, and usually some exploration of gender roles/subverted masculinity. Plus just solid, iconic filmmaking. If I was making a list of directors whose work I'd be willing to go full completionist on, his would be at the top of the list.

Thank you!

[intrepidradish]

Media: Predators

Year/my age: 2020-2022/30-32

What drew me to the media:

My friend Iterations dragged me in kicking and screaming. This is such a strange fandom for me. I don't even know how to approach talking about it.

At some point, via the Ao3 comment sections of my stories, Iterations suggested the Farscape fandom didn't appreciate me enough and that I should bring my weird queer stories to Predators instead, which at the time, had absolutely zero lgbtq representation.

I was in the midst of lockdown, alone in a house alone in a city I recently relocated to with family in different states. I was very alone, but there was a discord group. I did have gdocs and a big imagination. Iterations was great to talk to. The discord... was really hard on me, and I've only recently left, much to my relief.

What made me a fan:

Nothing did. To this day, I am not a fanatic about predators. I get the appeal of giant, ripped aliens that are stoics for the monster love genre, but the world building is missing for me to really engage with them for writing. But as someone that has only watched the films, the world for yautja isn't something I care to explore further.

And that isn't to say that people in the Predator fandom aren't doing a bang up job exploring it! I still edit work for the fandom, Skadi's Starchild, and he's taking the world in a lot of fun places in his works. Alpha produces in world essays about Aliens and Predators. Others too! If you like monster fucking, it's a rich fandom! People do fun things with Predators. I could probably do more myself (I have ideas) but I'm not going to explore them as fanfiction.

Have I written fanfiction for it? Why or why not?

Yes! I started with Belladonna because there was not a single wlw story in the entire ao3 tag. It's a great story! It's really sexy! I wrote it because I was told women yautja wouldn't enjoy sex outside of mating, and it made me see red. Even if you don't care about Predators you should read this story because it's fast and awesome!

Romp Reversal is probably the most insane story I've published to date about body swapping a little twink cloaca-haver with a yautja. The twink body with the yautja brain gets shipped off to be sexed trained for an enormous spider and the yautja body with a sex-obsessed idiot cutey gets in trouble in other ways. >_>

Yautja PI is very plot heavy and was written by Iterations and me. We took different chapters. It's the first sad ending I've written. It was such a fun challenge working with someone else on a story. I recommend trying to any writer. It will stretch your muscles.

Fox Hunt I wrote over October in 2020, and then hated it! Iterations read it and said it wasn't as bad as I thought, so I reread it again. It is really good. It has this strange victorian racism pov where a bunch of british lords think a predator is a zulu warrior. It's actually more shitty to british people (imo), but they deserve it LOLS. Surprisingly, this story is very popular. It is doing well on wattpad somehow (I don't understand wattpad). I think because it's mlm, it's british, and the sex is hot.

I wrote a trilogy to fix the Predator 2018, which had that makings of a good movie but really fucking wiffle-balled it. I rewrote it. New Procedure is mostly focused on Casey/Fugitive and is surgical kink. It's the most popular probably! Then I went into this huge tangent about defeating the Ultimate predator for a bit, which was difficult for me to finish writing because I was mentally excusing myself from the fandom. Then the conclusion one shot, New Theory, which has some fun sex, but is definitely me tired.

Opinion on the fandom:

I didn't have a very good time with the fandom. We got in lots of fights. I got pigeon holed for something I don't write because I defended people's freedom to write it. There was a lot of bullying, and if I engaged to protect people from bullying, I was not only attacked by the people being bullied but also draw people's attention. It sucked. I'm glad I'm out of it. I find it mildly amusing that most of the people in that discord no longer writes Predator fanfiction. Gatekeeping strangles your own creativity too.

That being said, it's a huge fandom. My works get a lot of attention. People will stick around for very long stories if the payoffs are right.

I'm also really proud of what I produced while in the fandom! I wrote some good stuff during a very difficult time. God the trauma of the pandemic lives long.

Would I read it again?

There are a few stories I'm subscribed to that I'll keep reading. If my friends write anything I'll probably read it!

[herrscherrofyatta]

Splintered Heart

Chapter 2

Pairing: Kazuha x reader, Ayato x reader (could be both in a way?)

Genre: Arranged marriage, angst

✧ this a Fu Hua theme blog✧

Since the start of the the week after testing the grand entrance for the festival coming up soon, you, Thoma and Ayaka were super busy.

Ayato's birthday was coming up soon and the three of you decided to hold a small party for him at the tea house. You three have been there brainstorming ideas for what kind of party and you got up from your seat to go make some more tea since you all ran out.

Thoma immediately up, trying to take the tray away from you but you refused his help. "Continue thinking, I'll take care of this."

Walking back in the small kitchen, you see that the box that contained meat as no longer there but you don't think too much of this. 5 minutes later, you hear the door open of the tea house and the sound of familiar footsteps as you peek out from behind the wall to see Ayato at the entrance as Ayaka and Thoma look up at him surprised.

"Huh? Oh hello, my lord!" Thoma greets him with a wave of his hand while the other is holding Taroumaru in place on his head.

Ayaka greeted him next, "what a surprised to run into you here." She smiles at him and he smiles back.

If it wasn't the sight of Ayato soaked in rain, you would have greeted him after. You almost have a heart attack at the sight of him drenched in water and you quickly rush over. "Ayato! You're soaked, quick, bring me a towel before he gets sick." Thoma tries to stand up by the dog on his head whines as he tries to take him off.

Panicking, you tell Ayato to sit down while you try to find a towel and you quickly go into one of the rooms.

Ayato follows your instructions and goes to sit down by his sister, "my goodness, you three are in high spirits. Thought you'd have a party without me?" He looks at Ayaka before shrugging off his white coat with the help you after you came back holding two fluff towels in hand moments later.

Setting his coat up to dry in the coat hanger, you wrap the larger towel around him as you begin to dry his hair.

Ayaka smiles at this before answering Ayato, "no actually, we came here to make some plans for your birthda-"

Your hand tightens on the towel as Ayaka spills why you three are here in the first place before you say a quiet apology.

Thoma clears his throat, "Ahem, my lady...." The ginger says but you two already know that Ayato is well aware now. He lets out a chuckle at Ayaka's surprised face, seeing that she spoiled the surprised. "Hahahaha, so that's it."

You feel his hand on your hand that was resting on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze and you could feel your face burning up.

The four of you spend the next two hours in the teahouse, waiting for the rain to come to a stop so you all could go back to the estate. Sitting at one of the tables, you begin to feel sleepy as you watch quietly Thoma and Ayato playing chess while Ayaka sits besides you.

She glances at you, "y/n, are you feeling tired?" She whispers to you, watching you nod your head at her words as your eye lids were closing slowly but refusing to shut them completely.

She ponders, her hand on her chin before looking back at the two men who were too busy playing to notice the sleepy Y/n who's head was flinching, fighting the urge to sleep.

Standing up, she walks out into the hall, asking one of the staff if it was still raining, luckily it did stop 10 minutes ago. Thanking the staff, she heads back to see Y/n sleeping peacefully on the floor next to Ayato, her head on his lap.

Standing at the door way, she smiles at this remembering the times where neither her brother of y/n would show any affection despite being engaged to each other. She was happy that they both have got comfortable with each during the four years they've been married.

"Brother, the staff said the rain has come to a stop and I think it's time to head back, I'm sure we're all tired." She says, walking back inside as Ayato looks up at her, his fingers that were playing with a strand of h/c comes to a pause.

"Hm, you're right. Tomorrow we have another busy schedule, for instance, a meeting with the Shogan." His brows furrow at bit from this, it was extremely rare of a meeting with the Shogan, especially just have the vision decrees was stopped and not also was his presence needed but also Y/n's. So, he had to be careful for his safety and hers.

Make sure not to disturb Y/n's sleep, Thoma lifted her up slightly so he could get up before he kneeled down and carried her in his arms. Supporting her legs with a hand underneath them while making sure her head was leaning against his chest before Thoma covers her body with Ayato's coat that was dry now.

"Alright, shall we get going?" He looks up at Thoma and Ayaka who stood at the exit, they smile at him and say goodbye to Toroumaru before leaving for the night.

-

Waking up the next day was already a pain as you realized that you two had a meeting with the other commissioner who you really didn't like one bit. If it wasn't Ayato's smoothing words of encouragement, you would have stayed in bed but atlas, here you were, strolling to where the Shogan's place was at in the city.

Let's just say, you were close to snapping at one of the commissioner's wives who made a snarky comment about you and Ayato's marriage life.

Masterlist

[my2phetaliaheadcanons]

Do any members of the 2p Allies or the 2p Axis enjoy reading? What are their favorite genres? If they don’t read for leisure but their darling did, would they try and start to read more?

Also, I love 💙 your blog!

Thanks to both of you guys. I'm glad you enjoy my blog and I went ahead and did both groups.

Allies:

France – He is an avid reader. It’s no secret that he sets time aside during the week to just read. He prefers French classics and horror stories. Though he is open to other genres when he is looking for a change of view and style.

His darling’s love for the book just encourages him to read more. Its one of the ways they bond. Its especially cute when they spend a lazy afternoon cuddled up with the same book.

Canada – Matt likes to read occasionally due to it being very low on his priority list. He would rather be out hunting, hiking, maybe even fishing.

On the cold, winter days where he does have that free time, he’ll open a good book and read books about various wildlife and biomes mostly. When Matt grows weary of reality, he changes it up with a good sci-fi or fantasy. He sometimes enjoys the fictional ecosystems that some of the authors come up with more than the actual plots.

If his darling was big on books, then he would ask them to read aloud. This would give Matt the ability to join his darling in her hobby while being able to relax after a long night of work. Other times, Matt would okay an audio book as they travel, so at least part of them time they would share a common title.

England – Fantasy stories that carry the same tone as The Lord of the Ring or The Chronicles of Narnia are the ones Oliver enjoys reading. Usually, they are what he reads while flying, if he’s waiting for someone, or before a meeting starts when there is nothing else to do.

When he’s looking for inspiration, Oliver will gloss through various cookbooks, some older and others newer. He marks them up and will cross reference them while building new recipes.

If his darling read, then he may ask them about their latest obsession. Indulging them as they proceed to spoil the whole series for him. He wouldn’t really read more due to her love, just seeing her happiness, and being the only one she talks to about her books is enough for him.

Russia – Viktor enjoys history books and war stories. He doesn’t read them often, instead focusing on his work and keeping his home in balance. During periods of grounding or days off does he allow himself to indulge. Sadly, for him, those are few and very far between.

If he darling were a bookworm, then he would ask them for suggestions. Taking them and compiling a long list of books to read, even if they are outside his favorite genre. Occasionally this will lead to a discussion about the genres and their tropes.

America – He doesn’t enjoy reading, finding it to be boring no matter the genre. He would watch a movie, work on his bike, or snuggle with his doll. If Allen had to pick, then he would pick adventure or apocalyptic.

A lover of books wouldn’t change anything. He would still love his doll and occasionally indulge her buy buying her the next book in the series or taking her to the movie version when it comes out. He thinks the rants over the changes between the book and movie are too cute.

China – Jin’s not a big reader either; living for centuries he finds it hard to keep engaged with since he’s read so many similar stories already. If you were to press, and I do mean really press him for an answer, Jin would say a pharmaceutical book. This is only because he references them often while working. It also confuses everyone which amuses him.

If his darling was reader, then Jin would nod his head absent mindedly as Qin explains the plot. He would make a comment here or there to show that he was listening, but it would never go deeper than a shallow puddle.

Axis:

Spain – Armando’s is usually too busy to read. He’s working on his farm or torturing some kind of slime ball and when he’s done with that there is no more energy for reading. If he was to pick a genre it would be horror. The books help give him new ideas to torture someone with.

If his darling read, he would ask them about what the villains were doing or what was causing the heroes to suffer. Whatever it is, Armando will laugh and depending on the severity may use it on his own victims.

Romano – Fabrizio loves a good fashion log; he reads them often. Seeing the latest pieces of fashion can not only give him ideas of new looks but also push him to be bolder in his designs. The only other type of book he would read is romantic dramas. He likes how the stakes are so high and the potential of will they, won’t they? These he reads when he doesn’t feel like sewing.

His darling could inspire him to read more. Usually as a way to become closer to his lover, but his genre choice will never change. He will spend his time chatting about drama his characters are going through while asking his love which characters they ship.

Japan – This man is an avid reader, spending many hours of his free time bouncing between horror and manga. His face wouldn’t change as the stories progress, but Kurai would be fully invested; even ignoring those around him to read instead.

If his lover read, nothing much would change. Kurai would spend just as much time still reading. This time though, his Sakura would be with him. Reading along side him in the glow of the setting sun.

Germany – Lazy is as lazy does, and this extends to reading. Luther may listen to an audio book if someone else were to play it for him. His favorite genre to listen to is mystery. He feels smart when he figures out how it happened before the characters. Often loudly explaining how it was done, interrupting the story for the heck of it.

Sadly enough, Luther would live to tease his darling. Often interrupting and hiding the books to take his attention for himself. Even if she got annoyed with him, Luther would chuckle as he scoops her into his arms. Stating that she owes him a nap.

Italy – Luciano likes to read for ideas. Often turning to horror books and drama to find new ways to mess with people. If you throw in the occasional psychology book; then you have created Luciano’s library. He is a mild reader, usually reading when he is traveling or needing a break from all the paperwork and screens.

A reader in his life would be nice. Luciano would expect that they would use the books to entertain themselves while he is off doing work. Just don’t expect the same thing when is around though, should the books take too much attention from him, then they’ll burn.

Prussia – This war-torn soul enjoys reading his Bible. He reads it daily, but he also enjoys reading books about war and politics. It doesn’t matter if they are fictional and full of fantasy, if those two topics are included, they interest him. Wil, since he is ‘retired’, has a lot more free time and will use his books to fill the silence. At least until Luther barges into his home demanding his help.

Wil’s darling would be spoiled by a small library full of books. Some dating over hundreds of years old. The two will often speak of their current books, comparing them, finding symbolism that its kinda cute. He even shares things from his bible that stood out to him. Asking for Maus’ thoughts on the verse as well.

[ms-indifferwnt]

I'm Cold

"I'm cold"

"And?"

"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"

"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"

In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)

Word count: 1.9k

Notes: Chapter 1 of I'm cold

Prev / Chapter 1 / Next

The whole room went quiet at Prince Donghyuck's words, even his parents stood agape, Y/n herself was starting in disbelief mouth slightly open "Y-You're highness?" She asks "you've mistaken"

Donghyuck laughs and stands up, reaching to hold her hand "Really my love? Are you that mad?" He lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles softly, smiling softly and lovingly but Y/n knows that there was something underneath that charming smile "I know that you don't want the secret out yet but I can't just stand back as my parents force me to live someone else when the love of my life is right behind me"

Y/n still couldn't get over how Prince Donghyuck was acting and why was it directed at her "but My Lord-" she was cut off by a smiling Prince squeezing her hand a little too hard

"It's Donghyuck, my love." He says as a matter of fact "we've had this conversation before, remember"

She was still shock and Prince Donghyuck held her hand tighter, "play along" he whispered that even she has thought it was her imagination, in all honesty, she should've denied it, she should've said no but if she does the prince will be denoted as a liar so instead she nodded slowly and through clenched teeth "Donghyuck" and just like that a big smile graced the princes' nature "are you still mad at me my love?"

She was sure, she hated the prince, pf all the maids of all the people why her? She shakes her head, still staring at the prince

Prince Lee Donghyuck's parents stared in disbelief at the scene "For how long?" The queen spoke, looking at their intertwined hands "why didn't you say anything Hyuck?"

Prince Donghyuck's acting was on point, he made an effort to make it look like he didn't want to look away from Y/n and smiled sheepishly to his parents "turning two years on my birthday" He confessed, and looked back at her. She tried her best to not roll her eyes at the Prince's words "She was the one who told me to keep it a secret"

She glared at the Prince, Oh fuck you, she couldn't help but think, Prince Donghyuck smiled sweetly at her "Excuse me mother, your highness" he says and bows to Prince Jeno's parents "I would like to speak to Y/n privately" he motions and she bows to the King and Queen only to be dragged out by Prince Donghyuck

"Oh thank you" Prince Donghyuck spoke after they were out of earshot, readjusting his suit as he spoke "it was getting annoying on how they keep forcing me to marry" she still hasn't spoken, one cause she was speechless and two cause he still hasn't allowed her to. He looks at her with a raised eyebrow "speak, you're allowed to, you're my fiancé now"

"Fiancé but my Lord-" she spoke and he cuts her off with a "Donghyuck" and she shook her head "You're the prince, Your Highness." she points out and looks at the prince "I can't-You can't"

"And why not?" he asked looking at her, you do know there are hundreds of ladies who would do anything to be my bride"

She sighs and looks up at him "Than ask them, not a maid like me" he smiles amused "is that what you were worried about?"

"My Lord-"

"Donghyuck"

"My Lord, you are a prince, and your bride should be someone who knows how to be a queen someday"

"Tempting, but honestly I'd rather just marry you, I already made an announcement and you agreed, you could've denied"

"Then you would've been a liar!" she yelled and covered her mouth, bowing a full ninety degrees as an apology "forgive me, but I only thought of the royal families well being if you have been exposed, you're whole family would be in trouble"

He wrapped his finger under her chin so she'll look at him "Oh my love, You do know a little something when it comes to royalty"

She pulled away readjusting her dress and looked at the prince as he sighs and nods "Please, Its the modern age and my father is still worried he won't have any heirs, marry me and I'll make sure you, you're family is safe and will get whatever it is you all want"

Anger bubbled up on Y/n's chest at his words, does he actually think that she will agree by that promise? that she could be easily persuaded by money? Yes, it's tempting, she won't lie but not like this, she won't, She absolutely refused. "Do you actually think I can be easily persuaded by that?" her voice was quiet and The Prince looked at her in shock, in all twenty years of his life he has never encountered anyone, much less a peasant to tell him off, it was always Yes Prince Donghyuck, Whatever you say, My Prince "I'm sorry, My Prince but when we return to the kingdom, I will tell the King and Queen the truth" she replies and storms off and out of the room, taking long and careful steps to back to the dining hall, with the Prince at her heals trying to reason with her

"Y/n can't I attempt to make to change your mind?" He asked and grabbed her wrist pulling her so that she'll face him or even better fall into his arms

"My Prince-" she gasped in surprise at the tug spinning around only to collide face-first to The Prince's chest

"Oh my" Prince Chenle's voice was heard and he smiled at the sight "You and Hyuck Hyung are so cute" he gives a comment which made Y/n blush and shakes her head, pulling away from Donghyuck "No wait, Prince Chenle-"

And he just smiles approaching the couple and bowed politely at her "Please It's Chenle when there are no cameras," he jokes and takes her hand in his, pressing a polite kiss on her knuckles "Noona"

A blush covers Y/n's cheeks at the young prince's words "Your Highness-"

"Chenle" He corrects and grins, pulling away from her "Hyuck Hyung, I can't believe you're engaged, you should've seen the look on You're parents face" he slaps his hand in delight "And Lucas Hyung literally started choking when you left"

Prince Donghyuck was quiet as the younger spoke still holding on to Y/n's hand "You found it amusing?"

"No not really," He confessed "I wish the two of you have announced your relationship early, I would've loved to meet the new member of our family," he hums "what were you afraid of Noona? did we scare you?"

Y/n bows her head but didn't reply and Prince Chenle smiled softly "Don't be shy, we're family now" he says and walks back towards the dining hall, leaving Y/n alone with Prince Donghyuck

She looks down at where the prince has her wrist, pulling it away and taking a step back, bowing and following after Prince Chenle

Upon entering the dining hall with Prince Donghyuck behind her, looking at her from the corner of his eye

"Did you guys fight?" Prince Mark asked and stood up greeting Y/n with a kiss on the knuckles "Hyuck here looks like a kicked puppy" He leads you through the ball with Hyuck sitting on his chair

"Prince Mark" she murmured cautiously as he laughs and shakes his head

"Mark Oppa" he pats his chest and motions to every prince in the room "Lucas Oppa, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung"

She shakes her head, not wanting to call them by their first name when all of a sudden Prince Donghyuck's Parents stood up and bowed. She yelped "No please your highness, don't bow," she says and shakes her head

"We're sorry, My Child" She spoke "It must be been uncomfortable when we spoke about Hyuck to get a girlfriend when you're here," she reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind her head "Forgive us for being selfish, and causing the fight between you and Hyuck"

She didn't reply in shock and bowed to the King and Queen just as Hyuck goes behind her, holding her shoulders to lead her to the seat "sit down and eat with us"

"Have you eaten, Noona?" Jisung asks as he takes a bite of his meal, he runs his fingers through his hair as he looked at the girl, cheeks stuffed with food

She shakes her head and everyone started ushering her to eat while she sat down on a chair beside Prince Donghyuck "no please eat, I'm not hungry" She looks around but there was no maid or butler around, this won't be an easy conversation later, and a sigh left her lips, playing with the steak In her plate

There was a chorus of whines and groans, ushering her to eat and that she shouldn't be so polite, Donghyuck on the other hand watched her play with her food. He started cutting his steak into small bite-size pieces, grabbing his plate and looking at her "let's exchange plates"

Y/n looked at him, "what?" She asked but it was too late, Prince Donghyuck has already exchanged their plates, the cut-up, bite-sized pieces for her and an untouched steak for him

"I already cut it up," he shrugged and smiled "it's yours"

As the room started to giggle and whisper with the conversation, Y/n took a bite

The room was quiet other than the pleasant atmosphere of conversation when Renjun spoke "Y/n" he calls making the female stand up on impulse, her head bowed and hands on her lap held politely, ready to answer to what the Prince might ask of her.

Her suddenness made the Prince Renjun stand up as well, thinking he may have offended her only to see her stance and smile "No, No" he says shaking his head and his hands "please" he motions for her to sit "I would just like to ask for a question"

She sits down and nodded "yes of course, how can I help?"

He smiles "How did you and Hyuck meet?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head

Y/n looks at Prince Hyuck and he looks back "at the palace" she answered factfully

"Aww really?" Chenle pouts "boring"

"How else would we meet? She is a maid of our kingdom" Hyuck replied and laughed moving to place half of his baked salmon on to her plate, in an outsiders point of view it looks like Prince Donghyuck affectionately giving half of his meal to his fiance, but in reality, Y/n knows that the prince doesn't eat salmon, being a maid into the family for years she isn't surprised anymore, she nods and takes a bite of the fish

Finally giving up, he returned to eating his meal while Jaemin pretended to be disgusted by the sight of affection in front of him

Prince Donghyuck and Y/n were walking in Prince Jeno's Family Garden, her hand out touch the petals of the flowers. The royals will be staying the night, Prince Donghyuck's parents have issued for their son and his fiance to stay in one room

"Is that how your future bride will be treated, My Prince?" She started and stopped to bend over and sniff on the Pink Camellias

"Yes, if you become my bride, my parents, my friends, will treat you like this, you your family will never worry when it comes to financial ever again"

"I'm sorry, your highness. But the world, or at least mine, doesn't revolve around that"

"Be my bride Y/n," He says getting annoyed at the lack of cooperation "I promise you, you won't ever regret it"

"No"

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #20 | Squalid Motels and Desperate Gals, courtesy of Kim Christy

This review contains mild spoilers.

When I first heard of Kim Christy, I knew I had to delve into her work. Here is someone who was involved in the drag scene in the '60s and went on to direct and produce pornography from the '80s onward. She's also a trans woman director (and occasional actress), which is not just unusual in golden age pornography but even mainstream cinema today. Unfortunately, figuring out where to start was a challenge. There's a very good interview with her on the Advocate but which doesn't really delve into her directing work. So I did the highly risky and ill-advised move of scanning through the titles in her filmography and trying to pick out ones with interesting sounding premises. Even this was a challenge, as a lot of her movies sounded like they didn't have a terrible amount of story. (A good many of them also had certain slurs in the title, which are unfortunately common in trans pornography.) So out of the crapshoot of movies I picked, I can't say I really got to the bottom of what makes her work interesting or even gelled to most of them, but hopefully I can convey what makes the ones I did take to interesting.

To start with the most slight, the two Divine Atrocities movies are basically a collection of sex scenes. There's a theme of dominant women running through them, but otherwise there isn't much tying together in terms of staging, aesthetics and the like. The segments have titles like "The Leather Lass Tamer", "Rubber Rampage" and "Ms. Degradation", but truth be told, nothing here is terribly shocking. So there isn't a lot to either of these movies, but if you're watching it for those reasons, they're enjoyable enough. A few of the segments feature trans performers, and I did find that Sulka had a nicely imposing screen presence in her scene, and while Sugar Nicole briefly threatens her partner with her "big black cock", I did like that for the most part the movies don't discern between these scenes and the ones with cisgender performers. In the eyes of Kim Christy, there's room for everyone in this great sexual melange. Also notable is the threesome scene with Janey Robbins, who (after likely reading Dan Savage's column) tells one of her partners, "If you don't find a different way to fuck me, you can forget it, I'll have to find somebody else", and in the first time in the history of civilization, gets mad at her male partner for not climaxing quickly enough. "You always say it'll only take a few minutes. Time is the only thing I can't replace, and it always takes too long."

A bit more substantive narratively but less interesting is Momma's Boy, with a premise that you can guess based on the title. Tantala Ray presides over a brothel set during an indeterminate period, where she presides over her girls and also her son, who mysteriously became a deaf-mute at a certain point of time. Why did her son become a deaf-mute? Will we ever find out? Spoiler: it's incest. Tantala Ray does have a weird enough screen presence to make her parts watchable, but this has none of the charge that, say, Taboo brings to the same material. (It's worth noting that Ray in this movie, looking like a debauched queen of Mardi Gras in one scene, is a camp villain while Kay Parker plays her role straight in the other movie.) As it's shot on video, the movie is not very nice to look at, and the dirt cheap production values make it unclear whether this is supposed to be a period piece. Some of the dialogue is amusing ("Oxford?" "Guess again." "Princeton?" "Try Biloxi Tech, my sweetie."), and there is some old timey music and one of the clients wears an ascot at one point, so it's not a totally squalid affair. (It's classy, see? He's wearing an ascot.) As the son, Jerry Butler does a cringe-inducing lisp, but I did chuckle at his last line.

A bit easier to recommend is True Crimes of Passion, where Janey Robbins plays a private detective (cheekily named B.J. Fondel) who invariably bungles her investigations and winds up in sex scenes with the people she's supposed to be investigating. "Out of the fog and into the smog" begins the overwrought voiceover, which truth be told doesn't compare to the likes of Chandler but I guess the effort is nice. The first case involves her investigating the wife of a minister whom her client suspects of infidelity. Surprise, surprise, it turns out the wife has a girlfriend with whom she has dominant sex. Thanks to Robbins' investigative prowess, she gets found out and forced to join the proceedings and ends up getting her client, a Dan Quayle looking motherfucker in a cowboy hat, captured as well, which leads to an incredible burn.

"The lord will punish you for this."

"The lord already has, he gave me you for a husband."

Also, when Robbins is forced into cunnilingus, she says over narration, "Oh Christ, I'm not even sure I've seen one of these things up close", and yeah, okay, Janey.

The second scene is probably the most notable as it features Christy as a performer. Robbins visits her friend to investigate a death threat against her friend's brother (also Robbins' ex), and the twist can be deduced when you start wondering why a seemingly minor character gets an unusually large amount of screentime. The scene features a trope that likely isn't terribly sensitive by modern standards, but I get the sense from that Advocate interview that Christy isn't too hung up about such things and one must concede that the film is a product of its time and genre (and within that context, there's a lot worse out there). The last scene has Robbins spying on her neighbour in hotel to get some industry secrets, which leads to some really awkward dialogue about champagne and then a threesome involving her client and mark. Like the work of Yasojiru Ozu, this scene breaks the 180-rule, but I guess if this is your thing, you might enjoy it. At the very end, the mark just gives up his secrets to the client. The secrets of male bonding sometimes elude me.

Easily the most accomplished and enjoyable film from Christy that I watched was Squalor Motel. It combines the sexual variety of the other films with a sense of camp and grounds it in a distinct, memorable location. There isn't much more "plot" than the other movies, as it's basically about a motel concierge doing her job over the course of a day, but as it follows her bumping into a variety of (usually horny) guests and finding herself in amusing (and unfailingly sexual) situations, there's enough of a narrative through line that it feels like a "real" movie where the other movies strained for similar effect, and the movie uses a soundtrack of icy synths and jazz that sounds like imitation Angelo Badalamenti to give it all an alluring vibe. I'm gonna make a wager that David Lynch would have liked this movie. Look, I have no idea what his viewing habits are or what sends his motor running, and the thought of him jacking it furiously to this or any movie is not something that brings me pleasure. But this shares some of the campy tone and surface qualities of his works, and I also wanted to leave you all with that image.

Why does the motel have its own house band (to whom people try to listen to while they engage in all kinds of sexual congress)? Why is Jamie Gillis made up like a vampire and trying to sell marital aids? Why does the one guest's blow-up doll turn into a real person (and prove, uh, extremely vocal during their scene)? Why is the owner wearing a pig mask and a tutu while he spies on his guests? Why is everyone laughing at the newlywed? Why is the one scientist with a Hitler mustache and his shrill-voiced assistant conducting experiments (read: having a threesome) with Tantala Ray? And how are most of these things taking place in the mysterious Reptile Room in the middle of the motel? With an extremely winning Colleen Brennan in the lead role (sporting a pair of thick glasses, a Lucille Ball updo, and a big, toothy smile), we'll have a pretty good time finding out. Like a lot of hardcore movies, this is pretty episodic in structure, but its distinct atmosphere gives it a nice sense of momentum as it drifts from scene to scene.

With its nice production design (and the fact that it seems to have actual sets, rather than being shot in what I assume are people's homes like in the other movies), Squalor Motel feels a bit more upscale and lavish than the average porno. While I don't have any budgetary information handy, I do know that the production had an assistant director, Ned Morehead. To what extent he contributed to the movie's DNA I can't say for certain, but the directorial effort of his I watched, also produced by Christy, had many of the same qualities. Desperate Women starts off feeling pretty stylish with its spraypaint style opening credits (although it loses a bit of style when it misspells star Taija Rae's name as "Taja Rea"). Taija Rae plays a reporter who ends up wrongfully convicted for a murder and thrown in brutal women's prison presided over by the sadistic Tantala Ray, who seems to get her jollies from spying on her prisoners as they get it on or abusing them with the help of her dimwitted guard. During such incidents, the guard frequently ends up ejaculating on her uniform as a source of comic relief. (One such scene ends with a shot of a photo of Ronald Reagan.) I must however disclose, without revealing too much about the shameful inner workings of my hopelessly degenerate mind, that the denouement of scene involving Ray, her guard and Sharon Mitchell did not leave me unmoved. Mitchell plays a prisoner who befriends Taija Rae, and it's worth noting that despite being one of the best actresses in classic porn, she's saddled here with an atrocious Hispanic accent and at one point sings a bit of "America" from West Side Story.

By porn standards, this is actually quite well produced and has a relatively sturdy narrative. (I must however note that one scene has a blatant ejaculation-related continuity error.) Women in prison movies tend to be pretty squalid affairs in general, at least in terms of production values, so this doesn't feel too far off from the real thing and offers more explicit versions of the same pleasures, while its sense of humour gives it a nice campy quality. Tantala Ray especially delivers in a pleasingly over the top performance as the teeth-gnashing villain (the camera often frames her severe face in wide angle close ups), and say what you will about Sharon Mitchell's accent, I did like seeing her pop up in here. With all the flamboyance and excitement around her, Taija Rae almost becomes a supporting character in her own movie, although I must confess that I found her character's hopeless naivety pretty cute. ("I didn't wear rubbers, it's sunny out".) With a fun cast, a firm handle on the genre's pleasures and a groovy soundtrack, this is a pretty good time.

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | 24: Popcorn, sandalwood, and tulips

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): Fluff / so much goo-y ness [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

You and Theo stand at the back of the potions classroom listening to the new Potions Master. You're surprised you could take the class at N.E.W.T. level. You're not rubbish at potions, but to say you're great at it is a wild overstatement.

Theo leans closer to you, his eyes still trained on Professor Slughorn. "Will you come to the tryouts tomorrow?" As he whispers into your ear, his lips graze your ear shell and you get goosebumps.

You nod, trying to calm down your racing heart and the heath racing to your face. "Sure. I'm delighted to sit in the rain." You mask your shyness with a teasing smile.

Theo gives you a faux annoyed look. "I will personally give you my umbrella."

"Oh, the sacrifices we make for the people we love."

Both Theo and you look at each other with wide eyes at your words. Snapping your eyes towards the cauldrons at the front of the classroom, you ignore your heart which feels like it's running out of your chest. When you glance back at Theo you see that his entire face and neck are brightly red. 

But between the both of you, you don't deny any of it. 

Slughorn excitedly drones on about the potions he has prepared for the class until two new students barge into the classroom. Harry and Ron. Harry's hair is slightly longer than last year but other than that he hasn't changed much over the summer.

Your eyes meet and you shrink down. You don't know how to feel about him after last year. Yes, you've kissed but you regret it as it was a moment of weakness. And you're with Theo now. Wait... are you? What are you exactly?

You follow the two boys as they grab some spare textbooks from the cupboard, watching them struggle for some reason.

Something pushes against your arm and you snap your head around, looking at Theo. "Sorry?", you question, not having heard his question

"Do you smell that?", he repeats, his brows raised.

You shake your head and turn towards the potion, your textbook clutched tightly in your hands. You take a deep sniff as something sweet hits your nostrils. At first, it is sweet until it transforms into all different kinds of things.

You eye the shiny concoction. Amortentia. "What do you smell?" You think you're clever, asking him first so you have some time to figure things out.

Theo hums and breathes the air in deeply. "I smell First snow, new books, an- and the sea..."

When he asked you to the Yule Ball, the first time you've hung out outside of school, and the vacation home of the Nott's.

You decide to bite the bullet and admit what you're smelling. "Popcorn, sandalwood, and... tulips."

The film date, the cologne that clings to Theo's being, and the flowers he left on your nightstand at the hospital.

Both your eyes meet each other, eyes wide and cheeks flared up. Theo's neck starts to blotch up. His eyes flicker over your face, from your eyes to your lips. But when Slughorn gives the class the go to do the practical, the two of you snap out of your little dream state and move towards the potion stations.

You sit in the common room, lounging around and reading a book when you spot Draco making his way towards the entrance. He glances over his shoulders to see if he's being followed before the door closes behind him.

Not trusting him, you jump up from the couch and trail him. You follow him through the winding halls and up never-ending stairs. Once you spot him stopping in front of a familiar tapestry, you know where he is going.

Not hurrying after him, you watch him conjure up a door and slip inside. Slowly, you walk towards the wall and close your eyes. I need to go to the place Draco just went. 

A sound like stones grinding against each other makes you open your eyes. The same door that Draco managed to make appear.

Inside is an endless room with stuff and junk and lost things. A broken record gives the room an eerie vibe. You spot Draco down a path that is cleared through towering high furniture.

"What are you doing?", you ask in a whisper once he has removed the dusty covering from a strange... cupboard?

He wips around and pulls his wand to you. His chest heaves up and down and his eyes are blown wide. "How did you get in here?", he hisses, looking behind you. Probably to see if someone followed after you. 

You walk closer to the cabinet, inspecting it. As you reach for the handle, Draco's cold hand stops you.

"Don't", he whispers, looking scared. 

You know that look. It's the same look he had when he received his mission from the Dark Lord. You knit your brows together and lower your hand. "What is your plan?"

Draco turns away, his hands balled and nails digging into his palm. "It's a Vanishing Cabinet. Its pair is situated in Borgin and Burkes. But they're broken."

"So you're fixing them to get the... others into the school?"

Your cousin's silence answers your question. You quietly curse under your breath. It's an insane plan that's not likely to succeed. "What are your backup plans?"

He scoffs, turning around before back to you. "What do you care? It's not like you were there."

"What do you want to hear? That I am selfish? That I should have come home? So my mo- Bellatrix could torture me again? Yes. That is my fault!" You run a hand over your face and sigh. "You know what? I am late for tryouts. Just... talk to me before you do something stupid, okay?"

You walk out of the Room of Requirement annoyed at your cousin's behaviour and once you finally sit down in the stands, you're double annoyed because you had to walk all the way from the seventh floor to the dungeons to then climb up the Quidditch spectator stands.

Cold and wet, you curtly tie a scarf around your neck. You sit slumped down with your arms over each other as it starts to lightly rain. Looking around, you don't notice that it has stopped raining above you.

Theo hovers a few inches away from you on his broom, umbrella in hand. He sends you a boyish smile and cocks his head to the side. "Is that my scarf?"

You look down and touch the soft wool of said scarf. "Oh... I didn't even realise... You dropped it last year and I haven't had the chance to give it back to you." 

As you move to untie Theo's scarf, his hand stops you. "Don't. It looks good on you."

A shy smile grows on your face. You take the umbrella out of his hands before he has to fly back towards the pitch as the tryout is about to start.

You watch him soar through the sky, scoring the Quaffle multiple times in the pretend matches. Every time he does so, you jump up and cheer his name. 

Unexpectedly, you actually had fun. Because before you realise it, the tryouts are over. You rush down the stairs and into the pitch. With a big smile, you run towards Theodore and jump into his arm.

"You made it! I am so proud of you!" You squish his face between both of your hands and press a kiss against each of his mushed-up cheeks. Theo has a love-struck smile on his face once you let go of him.

“You know”, he smiles once it is only you and him on the pitch, his broom in hands, “you've promised me that I would see you play Quidditch one day.”

You cock your head to the side playfully. “When did I do that?”

Theo shrugs. “Fourth year.”

“You remember that?!”

He laughs. "I remember so much of you, you would be surprised."

You take his hand in yours, pulling him towards the castle. "Well then. You can tell me all about the thing you've supposedly remembered about me after a shower. You stink."

He pouts and you laugh. After all, the rain and cold weren't that bad in retrospect.

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry  @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo @literallyobessed @lestat-whore​ @vanishingcherry @harrysnovia @pietrobae @ireallywannasleep127 @yeolsbubbles @fruityfrog505 @fluffybunnyu @theroyalmanatee @shinrjj @hegdus @kermits-bitch @m1kasawps @noah-uhhh-what @mypolicemanharryyy @fals3-g0d @decapitated-coffee @thatgirljas13 @slytherinambitious @mythicalamphitrite @mastermindmiko @timmytime17 @regsg18

[seenashwrite]

Hey! So I'm finally writing a fic, and it's gonna be pretty long (from how it's been going XD). SO I was wondering when it's time to make it a 2 part series, and when I should stop part one. Because I honestly do not know what's a really good cliffhanger and what's just bad. Thanks for reading!!!!!!!

I have no idea when you wrote this, sweets, and Imma answer even though I caution I’m still stumbling into recovery from that case of the zombies I contracted. 

So. Ooof. Cliffhangers. Well.  I mean, they don’t…… the whole….. y’know, the BOOOOOM!! and/or GAAAASP!! type of thing….. I just..... yeah, I can’t be completely diplomatic about this topic. For ol’ Nash, here, I gotta say:

99% of cliffhangers suck it big time.

So, okay, PICTURE IT: we’re winding down to the end of a given chunk of the story [or the TV show’s season finale, or the movie, whatevs] and I’ve successfully imagined myself in the scenario, that protagonist O.C. character or reader insert is speaking to me, I’m tracking with the plot, I’m sold baby, I AM ALL THE WAY FREAKIN’ IN, ergo in that scene…..

….I’m on the second floor of an abandoned house, I’m a little impatient, maybe a touch nervous or annoyed, and every time I fidget, rock back on my heels, the weathered floorboards under the threadbare carpet creak, and now on top of everything I’d swear I just heard the click of the doorknob echo down the hallway, only I know Sam’s way out in the backyard and Dean should still be out front grabbing more shells from the car, so I gasp and shudder and my eyes go wide as I’m frozen to the spot, watching that knob on the door not but a hop-skip away from me turn, aaaaaaand CUT TO BLACK.

Hmmmm.

See, the problem cutting off with something like that - y'know, inferring there’s gonna be some legit cliff plummeting jazz - is I’m not gonna buy it. I’m just not. Because (a) you ain’t gonna kill me/my character, and (b) you ain’t killing Sam and/or Dean.

Unless you ARE, in which case? Don’t even go within the realm of cliffhanger, stick with pure drama genre, and keep it to a one-and-done vs. series, otherwise it comes off as…. I don’t even know the word…. Flippant? Gimmicky?  

Specifically what I mean, and I’ll use the visual medium as example: the garbage of ending a given season - or “series”, depending on your locale - of a show [that we’re all well aware is renewed] or a movie [that we’re all well aware is part of a triology/“universe”, and/or is based off of a book series/comics] with a faux death, it’s just—–

Pardon me for a sec.

[Reaches into the always-stocked water balloon basket that lives in a corner of the front porch of The NashHole©℗™, just behind the swing; picks up a real nice fatty; launches in direction of window; lands with a beautiful splat]

Apologies, I’m having a helluva time waving down the interns to refill my iced tea, and Cas, my non-dead angel buddy who’s sitting beside me, wants another unicorn frappucino, because he’s not dead, no one ever believed he was dead, of course he wasn’t dead, and we’ve been out here swaying in the breeze, adding to the ever-growing list of ways that S12 could’ve ended without cheap deaths [cough Crowley], without poorly implied deaths [cough Mary], and without completely transparently faux deaths [cough Cas], and just have been, y'know, *better*.

Cliffhangers-that-ain’t are frustrating, and it immediately cuts me down to 50/50 in terms of if I’ll continue on watching, or - for the present topic - reading. This is a MAJOR reason why - in fanfic land - I don’t care for most episode/season re-writes [I’ve perused lots of them; only 2 or 3 have made The Nail].  Why? Most rehash what I/we already know, just painting over it with the brush of the author’s watercolor personal desires, no spin or creative angle taken. It’s that whole thing of them trying to craft suspense where there is none. I know where this road leads. I walked that road with the author when I saw the ep, and not just me, about 2+ million of us. Or more, I don’t keep up with ratings.

[Psssst….. anyone curious as to how to do this “right”, RE: being inventive & not simply re-hashing — please do see the offerings at “How It Should’ve Ended”; more recent ones that tickled me have been WW and Jurassic World and Rogue One and X-Men: Apocalypse]

So, that’s Nash Cliffhanger Advisement #1: I’ve no doubt it can be done well, even though I can’t think of an occasion where I’ve seen it & not been at least partially eye-rolly about it. I’m also having no doubt that:

(A) If you do wanna give it a whirl, probs shouldn’t be done on every part because that’ll get old; and

(B) A sure thing would be to keep it to a single story if you’re looking to shock, don’t drag it out - I’d rather have a 10K one-shot that delivers on drama than a bunch of filler added to it for the sake of trying [and potentially failing] to make it suspenseful by expanding it into a series.  #Fic Wreck 

Speaking of those, mild confession time. There exists a folder, filled with tales that wrecked me, ones I caught on my dash or were sent to me or I was tagged in, that have >100 notes, some in the near-thousands count, which were so bad I hurt myself laughing. I proceeded to cut-and-paste the most heinous parts into a document, all so that when I have those times when I’m beating myself up over nit-picky sh*t in my stories & need a break, I go to Fic Wrecks©℗™, and I laugh, and I remind myself Hey, Nash, pump the brakes, people are pretty f*cking forgiving, apparently. 

This might make me a bitch. I also have a doc full of reader feedback on my stuff, both good and bad, which I read when I need a reminder of what works, what hasn’t, and that more often than not, a tidy chunk of people dig what I write. This might make me a mechabitch. I’m sleeping alright.

I bring this up to lead into Nash Cliffhanger Advisement #2 : Check out other stuff.

I know, this is in direct contrast to my writer’s block advice, part of which was to *not* read.  In this case, there’s not block; for me,this is more to the editing end of things. I’m not concerned with an accidental “lift” or “light bulb” that piggybacks off of someone else’s plot/spin/thing because at this point, I’m assuming it’s all fleshed out, you know where the story’s going, any twists/mysteries have been accounted for, etc.

Revisit fanfic that you’ve read that had more than one part, preferably ones whose plots you still remember fairly well so that you can scroll right to the bottom of part 1, read the last couple paragraphs, then hit the first bit of part 2, scroll to bottom, and so on.  

Do you tag your own stuff, like with #fic rec, perhaps?  If not, lots of peeps do - this seems to be a suuuuuper common tag, at least, that I’ve seen.  Go cruise some blogs you like, see if that pops any small multi-parters for you to check out.  

Or, think on book series. Looking back, having read the whole shebang, do you ever think “Jeez, why did the author cut it off there, then pick it up here?” And then another view to take, how’s that have been made into movies? Then ask yourself “Why did the movie-makers choose to cut it there and have the next movie pick up here?” 

I have no idea what you’ve read and then if you’ve gone on to watch their visual counterparts, but here’s a handful off the top of my head....

Narnia

Hunger Games

Lord of the Rings/Hobbit

50 Shades

Harry Potter

Twilight

Divergent

Maze Runner

Basically, in your mind, could they have done it better or did they nail it?

And speaking of nailing it, going back to the written word, thumb through the series/multi-parters on The Nail - remember, 99% of the time I’m not reading series on there in their entirety due to time restraints, so I can’t attest to them having pitch-perfect cap-offs to each of their chapters, but if they made the list?  Well, y'all know how anal-retentive I am - the author’s doing more than a few things above-average, so I’d hedge my bets that they’ve got a good grasp on ending chapters with engagement & enticement.    

And that’s where I personally aim when it comes to my chapters, whether it’s the novel-like Top of the World or my mini-series that have made the rounds here. I want the audience to (1) be engaged to the point that the end of that part kinda snuck up on ‘em, and (2) be enticed to carry on reading when the next part is posted. 

I looked back at the aforementioned works, at how I was capping off, and seems I tend to end in the midst of someone/a group pondering over something, or planning something, then I tend to [not always! but tend to] kick off the next part NOT in the midst of that exact same something. As in - different characters, or it’s the next day, or a new setting. I’d give examples but…. spoilers & such, y’know. [wink]  

Hope that helps. My iced tea has arrived. Til we meet again…. 

[docholligay]

Doc, there's a magical girl show called Kirakira Precure a la Mode, and it has a baking theme and it's fucking ridiculous because the girls fight with the power of animal-themed pastries, but that's not why I'm telling you: there are two characters who are basically Haruka and Michiru in a fluffier AU. Akira is dorky butch (mistaken for a guy like Haruka), and Yukari is a classy high femme. Today the gayest episode aired, and recommend you watch it: it's episode 25. (cont. 1/2)

cont. 2/2) and apart from that another episode about them is episode 10 which is less gay but still GAY. And for their individual character-focused episodes: 6 and 15 for not!Haruka (red dog butch lesbian), and 5 and 15 (this one is incredibly good even as a stand-alone. the others not so much, tbh) for not!Michiru (purple cat femme lesbian). But above all others, episode 25 is the gayest of gays (I don't wanna spoil any more though). Hope you enjoy them!

Firstly, thank you for telling me about something you thought I might like! 

I actually have someone watching this show for me, and when it wraps, I’ll ask their opinion, as someone who knows me very well. a couple of factors, some of which I think are wide knowledge, some of which are not, come into this (Which might help some with recs in the future, too...I’m a tough broad): 

Behind the cut because I’m incapable of doing anything briefly

1. I’m not really widely a magical girl fan. 

I watched Sailor Moon for the first time when I was about 7 years old, I think, on Fox (Mina was my favorite.) I rediscovered my love of it on Toonami at 13. I rediscovered it again when I saw the sub for the first time at 18. I found my way back here because of the old myus rekindling a spark in me I thought was dead forever at 28, or so. So Sailor Moon has grown up with me, and the ways I’ve thought about the characters have changed, and my mind very much treats Sailor Moon as a mythos rather than law. 

Which is to say if I had come to Sailor Moon as an adult, I would have shut it off. 

Actual conversation while trying to watch it with Jill:

Jill: This is the show you spend hours of your life thinking about. Are you proud? 

Me, head in my hands: DO I LOOK PROUD, JILLIAN? 

Magical girl shows and me have a tough history in that most of them I’ve tried to watch are too fluffy for my feelings on the concept as an adult. Which is fine--vastly they are made for small children. I don’t have to be the audience for everything. But I don’t gain a lot of enjoyment out of the ones I’ve seen. Tonally, my tastes run more Deadwood than Bonanza, if you catch me.  (Not really an anime fan, actually, though there are TONS I haven’t seen and I’m sure there’s ones out there I could enjoy) 

Obviously I’m obsessed with Madoka Fucking Magica, but it REALLY was something I was looking for when i found it, and addressed so many of my genre-based frustrations even if it did tend to the cruel (Which I can take easier than the fluffy, as a person) 

Every time I’ve tried to watch Precure, it just doesn’t gel with me at all. Someone was pulling for it as a Jet livebagel, and I have one of her slots and honestly just fuck around with it, and I watched it and was like, “Nah tho” I’m not sure there will be enough there for me to get over the tonal stuff with Precure. 

2. I kind of loathe comparisons to Haruka and Michiru

First off: This is my most unfair reason. I know this. 

Literally every f/f couple on this website ends up compared to Haruka and Michiru and 90% it’s totally unwarranted and annoying. Korrasami? Haruka and Michiru. Anthy and Utena? Haruka and Michiru. Ruby and Sapphire? Haruka and Michiru. It ends up turning me off to the property before I get a chance to experience it on my own because I’m sitting there arguing with this inane point that usually boils down to “they are girls and one is quieter than the other” 

If your couples are a perfect dovetail to another couple, they might not be super well written. 

3. I don’t watch things because they’re gay. 

MY MOST HASHTAG PROBLEMATIC OPINION YET. A show has to be good for its own sake for me (Part of this is that I don’t like TV and so I give few chances) I’ll stream stuff on hulu and netflix that I think deserve to be around, but I won’t watch them myself, if that makes sense. They get the number off me, but I don’t actually engage. 

Also in anime like 90% of the time it’s all long gazes and shit and they’re never confirmed and VOMITTTTT IT IS THE YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND AND SEVENTEEN. 

So yeah, here’s why *I* haven’t watched it, but I do have someone reporting to me when it finishes! I did this with Magical Girl Raising Project, was immediately told “Yes, watch” and they were TOTALLY RIGHT. I did this with Yuki Yuna is a Hero, where a mutual warned me off because it   invokes a trope that makes my blood fucking boil. 

And if they tell me to, I will totally watch it. BUT I’M WAITING. 

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exits | 27: Teddy

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): Theo's a dick / Quidditch casualties / IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING badly written bUT FINALLY / Reader being a badass [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

It's Game Day. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Everyone's buzzing with anticipation and house pride. You lean your head against your fist, nursing a cup of tea as you watch Theo gobble up plate after plate. You chuckle to yourself and shake your head.

Theodore’s already dressed in his game sweater. It clings to his body and shows off the hard work he puts in to be a member of the Quidditch team.

"Whot?", he asks, almost spitting out his beans on toast.

You grimace with a shake. "Nothing. I'm just fascinated to see how much food you can inhale in such a short time."

He wipes his mouth with his sleeve. "I need my energy to perform. Since Draco dropped out we need to be on our A-game."

That's a new fact. You look over to your cousin, who looks really solemn and tired with ginormous dark circles under his eyes. The Dark Lord's mission takes a lot out of him. The worst seems to be the cursing of Katie Bell. After the incident, he just looks like pure shite.

Clearing his mouth for real with some juice, the dark-haired boy turns towards you, a serious look on his face. "Will you- will you wear my practice hoodie? I promise I washed and kept it nicely. I even spritzed it with my cologne and I-"

You watch amused by how Theo anxiously rambles on. He wrings an emerald green fabric between his hands. His hoodie. Because wearing someone's Quidditch practice hoodie is practically telling the whole school that you're a thing without actually saying it.

Laying two fingers on his lips, you actively shut him up. His whole face and neck are red as he looks at your fingers on his lips. "I would be honoured to wear your hoodie."

A giant, radiant smile takes over Theo's face and he nods, a lovesick look in his eyes. "Cool. Great." He gives you the hoodie and you immediately put it on, shedding your own sweater. The heavenly and familiar scent of sage hits your nose and you breathe in deeply.

The two of you enjoy the remainder of breakfast in blissful peace until the captain hits Theo on his shoulder as a sign they have to get ready.

"Good luck and be safe out there." You grab his hand and squeeze it tightly.

He does the same and gives you a smile. "For you? Always."

After the players have left for the stadium, the spectators follow soon after. You join Pansy and Lorenzo, who look not all surprised to see you in Theodore's hoodie.

As this is your first time watching a Quidditch match in a very long time, you're buzzing with energy. The three of you find fairly good spots where you have a great overview of the entire pitch.

It's exhilarating, watching the players soar through the sky, passing balls to each other and dodging bludgers. Theo manages to score a few goals and you cheer every time, jumping up and down.

You hate to admit it, but Ron's on fire. Stopping goal after goal, he's doing a really good job. But sadly, that means that Slytherin's not scoring.

The final signal is heard and you see Harry fly around victorious with the Snitch in his hand. Just as Theo wants to dismount from his broom, a bludger comes flying out of nowhere and hits him in the back of the head. And hard.

A scream unexpectantly escapes your chest as you watch Theo drop from a considerable height. Dread settles into the pit of your stomach as he stays down. He gets loaded onto a stretcher, his hand hanging limply over the edge. You quickly turn around and push yourself through the masses to get to Theo.

Once you reach the hospital wing and when you're finally let in, Theodore's awake. Praise Merlin.

You rush towards his bed as tears pool into your eyes. But you're trying hard to not let them escape. "Thank Salazar, you're fine! I was so worried! Where are you hurt? Did you break something?"

Theo looks up at you with wide, blank eyes, his lips parted. "I'm sorry... but do I know you?"

Your breath hitches and you clutch his hoodie. "I-I'm... I'm your... Teddy, it's me. I'm your fiance."

"Teddy? That one is new." His face breaks into a stupid grin that tells you he was joking. A cruel joke at that.

The floodgates open and you begin to sob. "Theodore Nott you fucking dick! I tho-thought you lost your mem-memory." You stumble over your words and try to wipe away your tears.

You feel him grab your elbow and Theo pulls you into his chest. He lets you run your course until you're calmed down.

"I know I promised to not get hurt but I-"

You interrupt his stupid ass excuse by grabbing his head with both hands and pressing your lips against his. At first, it is soft and Theo's frozen. But as soon as one of his hands cradles the back of your head he's all in it. 

Hands slide from faces to necks and back, noses bump against each other, and bodies feel like they're morphing together. If someone told you that it would feel like crawling into each other's skin, you would have called bullshit.

Getting light-headed, you attempt to break the kiss. But Theo has other plans. He chases after you, trying to savour the taste of your lips. Once he finally lets you go, he connects your foreheads and wipes away the final tear.

"I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you." He nudges your nose with his own to evoke a smile from you.

You're still a bit out of breath as you notice you've crawled into his lap while kissing him.

"Real dick move, Teddy."

He pecks your lips as an apology. "Please say that again...", he whispers between kisses.

"Teddy." You lay your hands on his shoulders and squeeze. He hums content and starts to kiss you more feverishly.

"Teddy."

He breaks away and holds your face in his hands, pure happiness written all over his face as he looks at you. "Merlin, I love you", he whispers, his thumbs rubbing circles over your smouldering cheeks.

You freeze, your eyes wide. Does he actually… love you? Theo eyes you warily, his lips parted as he watches your reaction.

Nobody… ever told you they loved you. Not your family, nobody. Theo’s words bring something unfamiliar to your body- to your mind. Something you have never felt.

Before you can answer him, your lips already parted, Theo wraps his arms around you and presses you against him, smothering your face against his shoulder. You have no way to answer him and every time you make a sound, he shushes you.

You and Theo stay like that until you're kicked out by Madam Pomfrey, claiming that Theo needs his rest and that you can visit him tomorrow again.

With a pout, the dark-haired boy gives you one last kiss until you're practically dragged out by the matron.

Taking a detour to the common room you spot Draco walking in the distance with a bottle in his hands. He isn't... going to drown his sorrows out, is he?

Concerned for your cousin, you follow him again to the Room of Requirement and watch as he unscrews the cork. He produces a small flask out of his inner pocket and drops the entirety into the large bottle.

"What are you doing?" Your voice comes out horse and in a whisper, scared if you speak out loud, someone will find you.

He whisks around and hides the bottle behind him. "Nothing", he hisses.

Marching up to the table, you jank the flask out of his hands and inspect for any label. You take a subtle whiff and something pungent hits your nose. Poison.

"Draco!", you gasp, practically throwing the empty flask on a table, "what is your plan? March up to Dumbledore and force-feed him the poisoned liquor?"

He angrily turns towards you, baring his teeth. "I am not that stupid!"

"So, have someone else do it for you? Imperio another student and have them deliver it to the professor? Like you did with Katie Bell?"

Angry tears start to form in your cousin’s eyes as he grabs both of your shoulders and rams you against something. You let out a whine as the handles of a closet dig into your back.

"You have no right of speaking! You have it easy! You don't need to kill someone because your father fucked up!" Draco screams in your face but you don't cower away. You keep staring at him with a cold look and wait until he's done.

Pushing him harshly away from you, he trips over his feet. “Don’t you ever lay your hands on me again”, you growl between your teeth, looming over the shaking boy. “Oh little Draco Malfoy has it hard? Little Draco Malfoy has to do something he doesn’t want to?” You take a step forward, and he crawls backwards, fear in his eyes. You pout and angrily mock him in a baby-like tone.

"Well, guess what? THAT'S MY WHOLE LIFE! If there is someone with the right to speak, it's me! Did you know that your mommy came to me this summer, begging for me to protect you? Where was that when I got the Dark Mark? When I was forced to torture an innocent man? Where was that where I — a child of fourteen — was wed off to the highest bidder?

"Nobody gives a crap about my feelings because I am the heir of Tom fucking Riddle and it is expected of me. So don't you dare to lash out at me!"

Your body is buzzing with anger, your hands itching to grab your wand and lash out towards Draco. Instead, you storm out of the overcrowded room.

Taglist (if you're bold I couldn't tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry  @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo @literallyobessed @lestat-whore​ @vanishingcherry @harrysnovia @pietrobae @ireallywannasleep127 @yeolsbubbles @fruityfrog505 @fluffybunnyu @theroyalmanatee @shinrjj @hegdus @kermits-bitch @m1kasawps @noah-uhhh-what @mypolicemanharryyy @fals3-g0d @decapitated-coffee @thatgirljas13 @slytherinambitious @mythicalamphitrite @mastermindmiko @timmytime17 @regsg18 @supernatural-lover @bubybubsters