#The name is still awful though... who the hell named this

[bonefall]

Mr Bones, what are your opinions on the blurb for the Ivypool Super Edition? I'm disappointed it's another travelling book myself and I'm nervous how they will depict the strange animals mentioned knowing the Erin's track record.

Much as I am known for my Hateposts, I am a Chronic Liker. I am not as hard to please as it may seem, I have VERY low standards.

You know what happens if we get "strange creatures?" BB gets some NEW MAGIC BEASTS

IDK ABOUT YOU BUT IM READY FOR MORE MAGIC BEAFTS.

Soooo keep in mind I have a bit of a bias. I am both an optimist and a scavenger. If there's a cool idea to play with im usually happy lmaoo

Assorted thoughts though;

I also don't like the idea of ANOTHER travel book. Come on man. We had two travel books in the main series, the new content in Riverstar's Hng was all travel, and now ANOTHER one??

Just nuke the lake already if you hate it so much. Why can't they write the battle cats battling or something.

VERY interested in "ancient sins" being corrected. Are we going to get the badger thing addressed??

Or the rats or raccoons SkyClan dealt with?

Or, hell, the beavers?

I'm willing to be a little charitable after the introduction of the Park Cats. I've spoken about how I dislike them as-are, BUT, also spoken about how they're a step in the right direction, y'know?

Park cats are a dissatisfying but GOOD thing. So I'll hear this out.

I'm pretty neutral-positive on Ivypool. I like when girls are mean.

I have no strong feelings on her having a thing with grief. I think it's a good idea and a good plot to explore.

Glad to see that Bristlefrost's death isn't all for the sake of Rootspring though I'll tell you that! So, again, charitability here.

Legitimately interested in what wild shit the new team is going to do with "Strange Creatures." I thought they were going to leave the weird non-cat entities in the transition like Fallout and talking deathclaws.

(And as a talking deathclaw liker...)

MIND YOU I think it will be awful. But if it's funny or interesting in its awfulness I'm game.

My wild hope is that the strange beasts are pine martens. I think that would be cool.

[starsofthestorm]

I think it's insane that even in a wonderful community like marching band I have witnessed people receive death threats for simply not liking the blue devils

[thisdudedoesntexist]

Danny has been out of the hero game for a while now.

You see, when clockwork reset the timeline to one where the disastroid didn't happen Danny made it his mission to quit the job for good. This involved forming an actual defense from Ghost invasions (though he's sure his parents loved testing out what the magic community likes to call "An awful combination of sentience and technology.") and also giving rights to ghosts. Hell, even Vlad's started to come around. The old fruit loop actually changed his ways and is setting him up to the heir to DALV.co while trying to fix the shit they did to the environment when doing trial runs of Val's suit.

(Mostly because sam threatened to break Vlad's knees, both of the halfas think she could do it.)

He finally do what wants with his life and satisfy his obsessions with space and protection. Danny's got all sorts of projects he's tinkering on like air purifiers and growing food in space. He's been just, doing his thing for so long that his powers had gone into a kind of reserve mode. Danny's strength and speed are back to just above average, his ice only good for ice cubes and being a human AC, can't even feel ghostly presence if it's not right on top of him.

But Danny is actually happy.

Or he would be if not for Lex Luthor. He hates that vindictive, capitalist egg. The male pattern baldness horror story managed to weasel his way into a partnership with Vlad when he was still trying to put the (now reformed) GIW on his leash.

The first time Danny met the man his hair nearly turned all white, literally. He's lucky Lex was more interested in Vlad, his investment partner than him otherwise he'd have seen. He wouldn't have been that mad if not for Lex's pocket full of (condensed mass of kryptoian suffering.) kryptonite, and his kryptonian clone? who kept eyeing that pocket. Kon was the kids name BTW, also he DEFINITELY saw Danny's hair change.

Now he has to deal with the pair every other week, one reason being Lex is not so subtly trying to get his hands on some ectoplasmic generator schematics. The other is that Kon is helping him catch Luthor before he does.

[goldenroutledge]

i must be dreaming

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

word count: 1.2k

prompt: ❛ you’re lucky that you’re cute. ❜

a/n: for my wonderful moot @yearneir, thank you so much for the request! i had so much fun writing this <3

masterlist || be my valentine blurb event 💌

“Knock, knock!” Two knocks sound through the door of Lando’s hotel room, followed by the familiar cheerfulness of Alma, the hotel’s concierge. “Delivery for Mr. Norris!”

Lando’s muscles ache with a soreness that weighs him down into the softness of the duvet, having sprawled out face first onto the bed the second he got back from another long day of testing. The winter months are always the shortest, often flying by more quickly than the season does.

His mind is tired as well, struggling a bit extra to get back into the swing of things after months away from being in the car. He doesn’t recall ordering any room service but if he did, he’s more out of it than he previously thought.

With a sigh of reluctance, he drags his feet towards the door of the stylish hotel suite. His vision is blurry as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and instinctively checks the time on his phone that reads 8:03pm. Definitely way too early to sleep for the night, but a power nap has never hurt him before.

Sure enough, Alma is waiting on the other side of the door with a bright smile and a silver platter in hand. “Good evening, Mr. Norris. I was instructed to bring this to your room along with this letter.”

He takes a deep breath, as if the surprise delivery will make more sense when he gets some more oxygen flowing to his brain. “Oh, thank you. Who’s it from?”

Alma smiles coyly but won’t reveal too much. “I can’t say, but your answer is in the envelope. Can I get you anything else while I’m here, sir?”

“Just Lando is fine.” He politely corrects. “I’m okay, thank you though.”

“Have a nice evening.” Alma disappears down the hallway, leaving Lando to his letter and mysterious silver platter. He’s seen enough movies to know that there’s usually someone’s head under these. His first name is written neatly on the envelope and what catches his eye is the red heart stamped into the wax seal.

He remembers the date, February 14th, and blushes at the thought of you. The both of you had been corresponding on the phone like usual, of course confirming that you had received the bouquet of flowers, chocolates, and a few pieces from your favorite designer that Lando made sure to have delivered to your home, with a promise that he’d be able to properly wine and dine you in a week��s time. He carefully lifts the seal, a childlike grin spreading across his face at the sight of your neat handwriting.

-

My dearest Lando,

It pains me to be apart from you, but the distance will let our hearts grow fonder. I hope you enjoy the present I’ve prepared for you.

Yours truly,

Y/n.

P.S. Call me when you get this. XOXO.

-

His hopes are high for whatever’s underneath the silver dome, perhaps some comfort food like a classic Roast dinner that reminds him of home, just like his Mum makes.

Lando lifts the silver to find not a warm meal, but cold and slimy rolls of sushi making the shape of a heart, dipping cups of wasabi and soy sauce resting in the center.

“What the hell?!” He yelps, visibly startled by the sight. “She knows I hate this stuff.” He’s scrolling to the favorite contacts in his call log, instinctively clicking your name.

When you answer on the second ring smiling like the Cheshire Cat, Lando knows he’s been set up.

“Is this your way of breaking up with me? Sending a plate of fish to my hotel room on Valentine’s Day?” Your laugh pierces through the phone, and he’s still dumbfounded as to how you managed to pull a prank on him all the way from Monaco. “What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing, I just wanted you to know that I’m soy into you. Happy Valentine’s Day, babe!”

“Aw, very clever. I hope you know that I’m gonna get you back for this. What fruit was it that you are mildly allergic to again? Starfruit, was it? I’m sending 50 starfruit arrangements to our house as we speak.”

“With all the risks you take at work, I’m amazed that sushi of all things has become your greatest fear. How is that?”

Lando scoffs, “I am not scared of sushi.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Sorry love, the proof is out there. But I wanted you to know that I love you anyway.”

“I love you too.” He grumbles, but there’s no bite behind his words. Lando finally takes a better look at you, but doesn’t recognize the wall in the background. He doesn’t recognize the wall behind you from your house, that is. He looks around his suite, now puzzled as to how your background matches the exact color of the hotel walls. Interesting. “Wait, where are you? You’re not at home are you?”

“I’m in a place that people temporarily call home?” You offer with a mysterious edge to your words and he subtly catches on. You can see the gears turning for him, the realization visible on his face when he moves toward the door once again.

“Wait a second… Are you HERE?! At my hotel?” His incredulous tone translates from the speaker on your phone to reverberating in your ears, behind his hotel room door that you’re standing in front of.

The door swings open and you’re reunited with those sparkling cerulean eyes you know so well. He takes a pause, glancing back and forth between his screen and you, now within arms reach. Wasting time would be a foolish thing to do. Without a care he drops his phone in exchange for cradling your face in his hands before smashing his lips onto yours. You don’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his frame, relishing in how warm he feels against you.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He breathes out, as if his life depends on saying it.

“Surprise! I missed you too, clearly. I’ve been wanting to try my sushi prank for a while now and this gave me the perfect opportunity. Had to get you riled up with something you hate so you’d be extra happy to see me.”

“Not necessary.” Lando murmurs against you, peppering kisses to your lips. “I don’t need anything extra, you know that. It did serve as a nice surprise, though. Definitely better than the sushi.”

You giggle as he shudders at the thought. “Forgive me?”

“You’re forgiven,” Lando sighs, unable to resist your pleading eyes and the warm notes of amber in your perfume that captivate him, “but I hope you know that if anyone else did this to me, and I mean anyone else on this planet, I would not speak a word to them for the rest of my life. However, for you, I can make an exception. You’re lucky that you’re cute.”

You kiss him sweetly, holding hints of satisfaction behind your smile at how well your plan has been executed. “Don’t worry, I plan to make it up to you. It is Valentine’s Day, after all.”

“Just when I thought tonight couldn’t get any better, how did I get so lucky?”

You pinch his cheek teasingly. “You do look exhausted still, are you sure you’re not dreaming of me?”

Lando catches your wrist and presses a kiss to the skin, content with knowing that he’ll dream of you tonight and wake up beside you tomorrow. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

💌: thanks for reading, comments & reblogs are always appreciated!

psst… my requests are open :) be my valentine blurb event 💌

taglist: @marjorieswrld

[sinning-23]

Calling Them By Their Full Name

OPLA Headcannons! I thought htis was a funny little thing lol. Anyway enjoy

Warnings: slight mentions of nsfw topics but nothing too serious

Sorry for any spelling errors!

Luffy

-ohhhhh that did not sound like your usual happy, loving voice.

-he knows he fucked up and now he’s hiding from your wrath.

-“MONKEY D. LUFFY, GET YOUR ASS IN THIS KITCHEN. NOW.”

-you could hear a pen drop from how quiet the ship got

-ok so maybe he ate that super expensive, super special dessert you had been saving for a while now. And like, it was going to go bad! All he wanted was a little taste! Than a taste turned into accidentally eating the whole thing.

-He was gonna tell you, honest! But it had proven obvious you found out before he could. He seen you round the corner with RAGe on your face and tears in your eyes.

-"TRAITOR!" You yell, throwing a tired punch to his chest.

-“I’m sorry mami, I’ll find you another one. Promise.” He hums, peppering your face with kisses, squeezing your face between his palms when he did.

-There’s no way you could stay mad at him for long

Zoro

-whoa whoa whoa why are you so ANNNGRY

-hated when you call him by his full name like that, makes him feel like a child being reprimanded

-“RORONOA GODDAMN ZORO.” You boom, Nami’s jaw dropping at the sound. Even she could tell you were pissed

-he’s the sassiest mf alive so he’ll probably just be like, “who the hell are talking to woman?!”

-“You’re a real piece of work you know that??” You’re still yelling and he wastes no time rolling his eyes at you and grabbing you by your waist, the action shutting you up.

“Wanna stop yelling and be a big girl and tell me what’s wrong?” He teases, that stupid smirk you love falling over his features at your speechlessness.

-It’s not often you say his full make but when you do he makes sure you’ll never forget it that same night.

-“Say my name baby, real loud.” He groans, a hand around your throat to steady spent body as he slams back into you

Sanji

-I know thats not a cigarette i smell Vinsmoke Sanji."

-awe hell. Yout tone is deadly. he tried he damndest to stomp it out before you rounded the corner but nope.

-You never use his full name like that. Never.

-did he just get chills?

-"Of course not my love!" He lies throigh his teeth but before he can say anything ese you re lips are on his, you fist gripping the fabric of his shirt.

-He knew he was caught, the taste of tobacco mixing with your usual mint. You pull away, smoothing his shirt out with a warning smile.

-"Don’t lie to me again, I’ll always know when you do, Black Leg." You explain , taking the small cardboard box from his pocket and walking off.

-Even though it was ment as a threat, he couldn't help but feel hotter than ususal. God he loved it when you talked all serious to him.

Bonus: Mihawk

-You know better than to use his full name. Orr to even call him anything besides the usual endearing pet name.

-So when he hears his name called with nothing short of rage, hes trying to figure out who you think you’re talking to.

-"Dracule. Mihawk." You spit, holding the empty bottle in your hand

-Ok so your rage was warented cause he managed to drink the entire vintage bottle of wine you'd been saving...it wasn’t like it was on purpose!

-He doesn’t even bother to look up from his book, just barely giving you a slight glance when you were right in front of him, pointing to the bottle.

-"Id watch your tone darling." he warns, smirking at the way you purse your lips and turn away with a fierce attitude he'd be sure to deal with later.

-“Oh shove it up your ass Dracule.” You scoff, trying to quicken your pace but failing when he’s already behind you, his much larger hand holding your wrist as you yelp.

-His look says it all. You’re screwed.

-So now you’re sitting pretty, bent over and counting each time his hand meets the sore and slightly reddened flesh of your ass.

-“Now, what’s my name again darling?”

[zepskies]

Headcanon: When You're Having His Child...

Pairings: Dean Winchester x F. Reader, Beau Arlen x F. Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

AN: This one is requested by @cevansbaby-dove, and is kind of a continuation of this imagine: When you have morning sickness.

Tags/Warnings: Potential fluff overload.

HC: How Dean, Beau, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would act while you're in labor.

Dean Winchester

Oh, sweet man...

Dean does the thing where he pretends he has his shit together.

He's really trying, for your sake, for his own, and to save face around Sam and Eileen and Jody and everyone else in the hospital waiting room.

They can see it, and he knows it: he's freaking the hell out.

When he's in the room with you, he's either helping you, holding your hand, waiting for you to be dilated enough to start the whole "having a baby" process, or pacing around on those bowlegs, occasionally dragging a hand over his mouth in that telltale nervous gesture.

"Babe, come 'ere," you say with strain. That last contraction really took it out of you. "You're making me even more nervous than I already am."

Dean goes to you and smooths a hand over your hair.

"Sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry. How're you holding up?"

Tears well up in your eyes, but you try to breathe through it. You're overwhelmed, you're in pain, and you've been in labor for several hours already.

"We're ready for this, right?" you ask, squeezing his hand. He sits on the edge of your bed and makes sure you look him in the eyes.

"We're about to find out," he says, with a bit of teasing. But his gaze is steady when he brings your hand up to his lips. "You don't gotta worry about anything. I'm gonna be with you, come whatever, okay?"

You smile, because you don't just believe him. You know.

Because after years of fighting together, surviving together, living together, you know that this is just one more adventure you get to go on with him by your side.

Now, Dean would rather not see all the gritty details of the birth, but he stays in the delivery room, letting you squeeze the shit out of his hand. He's not going to leave your side. He's wiping sweat from your brow and encouraging you, being whatever kind of support you need.

After the baby's born and the nurses bring her back all cleaned up, Dean holds his daughter for the first time.

He has tears in his eyes. For a long moment, he doesn't even blink. He stares down at that small, perfect face. Already he sees some of your features in her.

He can't put into words how he feels. It's overwhelming in his chest. But one thing is certain...

Dean's never been more grateful to be alive than in this moment.

He blinks, and the first of his tears fall. He brings her to you, sitting down carefully on the edge of your bed again so you can hold her. You're beyond exhaustion, sweaty, and weeping, but one thing is certain...

You've never been more grateful for Dean than in this moment.

You turn to him, giving him a small smile. He returns it, and he leans in to give you a gentle kiss.

"Do you have a name picked out yet?" one of the nurses asks.

You and Dean share a look: his imploring, yours knowing.

"We're not naming her Baby," you warn him.

"Aw, come on."

Beau Arlen

Round 2! 🫡

Beau runs the gambit from excited, to anxious, to freaking the hell out, and back to excited.

This is "Round 2" for him. His second child. But he's had reservations about being an "older" father to a new baby. (He's pushing 50 at this point. No matter how much he keeps in shape, he still feels his age in his bowlegged knees.)

You've assured him that plenty of men have children at his age.

Regardless of his insecurities though, you know he's still over the moon. Beau has always wanted more kids, deep down, and now thanks to you, he's getting his wish.

He's the man who's "prepared for anything."

When your water broke, he already had your to-go bag ready with everything you might need.

But he continues to ask you questions from the moment he's got you out the door to the drive over to the hospital, and even in the lobby.

"You thirsty? You comfortable like that? How's the pain? Just breathe, baby. I gotcha. Watch your step now. You hungry? We've got protein bars in the bag, unless you're cravin' something else. First things first, let's check in. Oh, I hope we can getcha in a private room. Let's see--oh damn, they sure are packed today, huh? Okay, how're you holdin' up? How's the pain, level of 1 to 10? Yep, got it, hold my hand. Just breathe through it. I gotcha."

Bless him. The man means well, but he's driving you freakin' crazy.

"Beau, I know. If you don't take a breath, I'm gonna pop you in the damn nose."

He tries not to smile at your grumpiness. "...Okay, I hear ya. Let's just get you into your room."

He rarely leaves your side during the entire labor, just to get you anything you might actually need. The radio at his belt occasionally goes off for work, but he apologizes, having forgotten to turn it off. He put Jenny in charge while he's gone.

"Let's just hope the precinct's still standing when I get back," he jokes. He finally turns off the radio and takes it off his belt, to your relief. And he returns his undivided attention to you.

Beau witnessed the birth of his daughter Emily, so he's no stranger to being in the delivery room. He even ventures past the curtain when your son is born, breathing air into his little lungs and letting out a powerful cry.

Beau laughs with tears in his eyes. "That's my boy."

When the nurses place him into your arms first, Beau supports your hold and brushes your sweaty hair back from your face. "Good job, honey. Good job."

"I know," you tease weakly.

Beau chuckles. He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead and looks down at the small bundle in your arms and his.

"We have a son," Beau says. His eyes are red and shining. "I have a son."

"You have a son," you nod. You look over at him and lean in for a kiss. He obliges you, and rests his forehead against yours afterwards.

Life is meant for moments like this, he thinks.

He's damn grateful it's with you.

Soldier Boy (Ben)

Readers of Strong as Blood in the BMD-verse will recognize some of this HC...

This day has been a long time coming, for both of you.

He smells like cigar smoke when he comes back into your recovery room. For which you have no doubt, Ben had been puffing away with Butcher and M.M. outside the hospital. 

Ben was with you for most of the lead up to the birth, but you actually agreed that having him in the delivery room wasn't a good idea. He never did well with you in pain, and with his temper, he might just scare the shit out of the doctor and nurses.

He strides toward you though, when he enters the room. He lays a hand on your head and another on the baby's tuft of brown, downy hair.

"We have a daughter," you tell him, with a watery smile.

Part of him still twinges with disappointment. He didn't react well when he found out you weren't carrying a boy, his future son.

(You'd given him enough hell that he never brought up the subject again.)

But that all fades away when he looks down at his daughter's face.

He carefully sits on the edge of your bed, but he's suspended in time. His chest tightens in a way he's never experienced before.

It's almost like pain, but not. Not at all.

He brushes a thumb along the baby's soft cheek. He's almost hesitant to touch her, knowing how fragile she is.

"Beautiful, like her mother," he says at last. And he means it.

He earns your smile.

"Flatterer," you accuse. You know you look as wrecked as you feel. Somehow, none of that matter's whenever you look at your child's face.

You look over at Ben with a shining smile. His lips twitch. He leans in and meets your lips with a kiss, slow and deep and intimate in this quiet little room.

“You okay?” he asks you, after he pulls away. “Got everything you need?”

He’s become even more protective, of course, but also more attentive to you. Especially in the last few months of your pregnancy, seeing how uncomfortable you've become.

It warms you every time, when you consider how rough, how stoic, and how damn-near emotionally repressed he can be.

It seems that fatherhood is beginning to soften him, even before he begins. You quirk a smile at the thought, and at his question.

“Imagine pushing a super melon out of your dick. That’s how I’m doing,” you say cheekily.

He snorts a bit loudly at that, and you shush him, as if it wasn’t your fault he was laughing. He expects nothing less from you.

“But I’m okay,” you answer his second question. “All I need right now is you.”

Ben considers you, a slightly gentler smile curving his lips, and he nods.

“All right,” he says. In this moment, he realizes that his entire world is in this room.

He’d never admit it, but it's a terrifying thought, for a man who once had everything and nothing.

You unknowingly stop the path of his thoughts when you ask him, "Want to hold her for a while?"

Ben perks up at attention. He's a bit uncertain on how exactly to hold the baby, but he can't lose face and tell you that. So he just accepts the bundle when you place her in his arms.

As he looks down at a small face that already has some of his features, he inhales a faltering breath.

It's the first time you ever see true tears in his eyes, despite how much he resists. One manages to draw a path down his cheek. 

“You know, you’re blessed to have my genes, sweetheart,” he says. It elicits a knowing scoff out of you. “But you’re also lucky as hell to have your mom.”

Ben looks up and finds the predictable well of tears forming in your eyes. His smirk softens around the edges.

“She’s the best damn woman you’re ever gonna meet,” he says.

AN: All right, I'll stop. 😭 I hope you enjoy this one, fluff overload and all! Who was your favorite this time: Dean, Beau, or Ben? 💜

Dean Winchester Imagines

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[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ bad liar ]❜

━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @gothic-rat112 (lost the ask...) ˚₊ ⊹

ft. seong gi-hun x f! reader — squid game

╰₊✧ how he is when jealous & insecure┊1.2k words 

setting: season 1 contains: age gap relationship (unspecified but legal obviously), insecurity & jealousy, he’s a little immature & broke as hell but it’s okay i love pathetic men, reader is a sweetheart, this is all over the place omfg

➤ author's note: okay i kinda went on a tangent, first season because i miss his stupid smile and his fluffy hair (also look at how cute he is in this gif omfg i love him sm, i need to write for him more, underrated in his own show, THE PUPPY EYES)

╰₊✧ honestly, gi-hun isn’t so much as jealous as he is insecure. sure, he has an outgoing personality and always makes you laugh without fail, but he can’t think of any other positive traits aside from that. he doesn’t think of himself as particularly attractive with his scruffy appearance, and he’s painfully aware that he’s lacking when it comes to finances and has a gambling problem to boot. on top of all that, he was a divorced middle-aged man who didn’t even have joint custody of his only daughter and still lived with his mom rent-free, a terrible husband, father, and son— he’s truthfully the type of man people avoid when dating.

╰₊✧ yet he still managed to pull a pretty young thing like you who looks past all that, not sure if you were stupid or desperate. during the first few weeks of being together, he made jokes about still being able to date younger women in his old age because he was still in disbelief it was happening, but when you stuck by his side through all his flaws and the first year passed with you supporting him to get better, insecurity hit him like a ton of bricks when he realized that he was genuinely in love with you and that he didn’t have what it took to be the boyfriend you deserved when he wasn’t even someone his biological family deserved. 

╰₊✧ he sees other people buying their girls jewelry and clothing from name-brand stores, taking them out to eat in luxury restaurants with multiple courses, driving them around in european cars, and he’s out here saving money to do something as little as cake for your anniversary. he’s always on cloud nine when he spends time with you, but there’s something so humbling about looking up “broke date ideas” and scraping together what he already has to make it more special. no matter how much things like that don’t matter to you with the mindset of the intention counting more than the price, he still feels shitty about having you pay for most of the things you do together when he’s the man and the older one in the relationship along with the fact that you were barely better off than he was. 

walks around to admire the sights: especially during holiday seasons when there are pretty lights, you like holding his hand and admiring the sights of the city you often take for granted. if the streets are empty then he doesn’t mind it, but he does get self-conscious about the looks you both get so it’s not super common.

candlelit dinners of takeout and beer: a regular one, gi-hun likes to gather a bunch of candles to make the place look a little more romantic, maybe even having some roses to make it look nicer. the man doesn’t cook much though, so you’ll just have replated takeout with bottles of beer, but he always makes it lively with conversation and puts effort into fixing his hair to look more handsome.

and anything else he can think of, he can be really creative when it comes to you and you’re pleasantly surprised each time.

╰₊✧ these things bother him a lot more than he will let on, but he tries to stay all smiles around you which you see right through like glass. he’s a bad liar, a trait he would always get in trouble for when he was a child since he couldn’t lie about his antics.

╰₊✧ he feels awful when he finds that you also entered these games to pay off your respective debts, because no matter how much you try to convince him you aren’t, he knows that you intended to use any extra money to help him out as well with his debt being higher than yours. it should be the other way around, he should be the one helping you, and when the first shots are fired during “red light, green light,” he makes you swear that you won’t come back.

╰₊✧ of course, you do come back, because while he is your boyfriend, you’re also a grown-ass woman who can do what she pleases (also because you’re desperate and prefer not to find out what those loan sharks would do to you if it took too long to pay them back, and you might as well go to support gi-hun because you know his ass went back).

╰₊✧ he feels a little bit better about himself seeing all of the other people in a similar position as him, drowning in debt and petrified of death. he tries to be protective over you, but let’s be honest, you’re the protective one who mothers him, and since the constant threat of death is always looming, he lets you do it even if it looks stupid. people are either judgemental or jealous, but there are bigger things to worry about.

“people are staring…” he muttered, his eyes darting around to meet theirs and watching as they looked away the second eye contact was made. “you don’t need to do this, you know, it’s a little embarrassing.”

���i don’t care, let them stare,” you stated simply, rubbing into the back of his shoulders with practiced circular motions. “they are just jealous that they don’t have a cute girlfriend to take care of them like you do, and i want to! your muscles are so tense— i don’t want you participating in the next games when you aren’t in the best shape. we could die any day here, i want to give you all the love i can!”

╰₊✧ jealous of sang-woo with his intelligence and emotional security. even if both of them are wearing the same teal tracksuit, his childhood friend was in here because of failed investments which sounded a lot better than just losing constant bets in gambling dens. (to be fair, if you were gi-hun’s controversially young girlfriend, i don’t think either of you would get along well as he probably looks down on you and you probably find him stuck up, so he doesn’t have to worry about you being stolen away by him). not really jealous of that block-head deok-su hitting on you, after the little altercation they had on the first day, more annoyed than anything but the feeling quickly vanishes when he sees you reject him with a roll of your eyes. 

╰₊✧ actually jealous of anyone your age paying attention to you, especially ali who has a really sweet personality and gets along with you really well, maybe even sae-byeok who has a pretty face and is decently nice once you get to know her. 

“you need to stop pouting.”

“‘m not pouting…”

“you’re a bad liar, you know that? but it’s so cute,” you exclaimed, reaching out to pinch his cheeks childishly. “you don’t need to be jealous of ali, he’s already married and has a kid.”

“i know, i know…”

“i don’t think you do.”

╰₊✧ it’s so obvious when he’s jealous, it’s actually painful. he stares holes into the head of the person talking to you and is pouty until you address it. he’ll also blush when you call him out and tease him about it, it’s so cute. please give him assurance, pinch his cheeks, ruffle his fluffy hair, and give him lots of kisses, he deserves it.

(author is slightly delirious with a fever, i took medicine dw, i just really wanna kiss gihun)

[thatonegayship]

I had to

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

[livelaughlovesubs]

~ 01.10 - (whb) Lucifer ~

Dom!reader x sub!lucifer - reader is gender neutral

Warning: nipple play, lactation, dacryphilia, marking, objectification (a little), pet names, teasing, praise kink (a little), cumming untouched, eating cum (both), cum play, tongue kiss, mind break, sub-space, dacryphilia

~ Word count: 5.7k ~

Nini!rant: okay.. huh.. first one done, and it’s our beautiful luci

Kinktober list 2024

The sound of birds chipping echoed through the greenhouse, where you were enjoying some afternoon tea. Their singing wasn’t rhythmic nor melodic, yet it was calming and quite befitting the atmosphere. At least they served the purpose of breaking the silence between you and the person sitting across you. He requested your presence and had you come all the way to Paradise Lost, only to play house with you.

This was truly an awful experience, getting interrogated like this by none other than the strongest being in hell, the Lucifer himself. Though can you call it interrogation, when all he has done was staring at you through his bangs? At least the treats were good, you were able to distract yourself from the infuriating situation at hand. The smell of tea filled your nostrils, it tickled the tip of your nose. A single sip was all it took to bring a smile to your face, a pleased expression showing in response to the rich aroma of your drink.

All of the flavors were amazing and exquisite. It was just the right amount of sweetness to brighten your mood, and enough bitterness to keep your mind alerted. Despite the tense situation, or the lack of it to be precise, he was still the first creation of god. That’s a title worth fearing. The first light of dawn, the first angel, basically the one who has witnessed it all. It was a given that the pressure would linger despite the seemingly gentle atmosphere. No matter how he tried to mask this interaction up as a simple tea party, you were going to be careful around him. Better that than sorry.

You took another sip, feeling the warmth of the tea chase out the chilly sensations from before. Something was missing though, you were craving some milk with your tea.

The gentle sunlight felt like a warm embrace, a blanket that sheltered all of hell. If Gehenna had the same weather as here, then Leraye must be feeling pretty down. A soft smile formed on your lips at the thought of that sunshine of a child, and the corners of your mouth twitched ever so slightly. Lucifer, who sat opposite to you, observed your every mimic with a nonchalant expression, studying them even.

His messy hair, as bright as the light, shone alongside the sun. After a moment’s hesitation, he talked in his usual deep yet tender voice, one that could bring his subject to the brink of ecstasy, “For what my brother did, I want to apologize.” The first words that left his throat were apologetic ones, then he swiftly changed it to a firm tone, “I’d be willing to make up to you.”

Make up to you, he said. Was he perhaps trying to lessen the sins of his dearest ones? Now that’s an interesting offer, it caught you off guard and sent a chill down your spine. As if someone just pushed you into a pond. Nevertheless, you had to be careful, one wrong step could end up with your head rolling around, and you still haven’t decided on how dangerous that guy was. If we were to go by what Satan mentioned, it would take the power of all the six kings of hell to have a chance at defeating this guy.

With lingering doubts, you opened your mouth, replying after much contemplating and care, “Could you elaborate on that?” First, you needed to know what he meant by his words, to clear off any possible misunderstandings. To make up to you, it sounds like he owes you a favor. Of course, you despised that self-righteous angel for his deeds and sins committed against you, yet you would never blame it on someone not involved. His gaze shifted from you to his cup, staring at his reflection in the liquid.

He had a guess about how you must feel at this moment, hence his explanation, “A sexual favor is also possible.” Those words had an unfamiliar ring to Lucifer, it was the first time in eons that he used them. In a deep, hidden corner of his mind, he wished to know what you had done with his relatives. What was the saying again? Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had nine lives and came back satisfied? “You may show me what you did with my brothers.” He suggested, adding some information to his previous statement.

That would never happen, at least not now, not when you are in such a vulnerable position. Who knows what he might do with you after finding out about all the things you did, about how you made his brothers cry. Still you were intrigued, seeing this flawless… person— cry would surely be quite the adventure and bring forth a fitting satisfaction, even so, you valued your life, enough to not want to die a gruesome death.

The best way to get out of this mess would be to act kind and naive. You smiled insincerely, hiding your skeptic feelings behind a carefully crafted mask. “Thanks for your concern, but I’m fine, there is no need for you to apologize.” A tone tender enough to make flower petals seem rough, paired with a bright smile full of rejection.

“Is that so.” The angel in front of you acknowledged your words, he used his arms to push himself up from his seat. Now that he stood up, you remembered how intimidating he actually was. Considering that he was incredibly tall, adding on the fact he also owned a fearsome aura around him. It was a feel unique to the seraphim, one that just reeked of unyielding pride. 

Your finger clenched around your teacup tighter, awaiting his next move. “Follow me,” Lucifer said. It wasn’t a question nor was he polite about it, it was an order. There was no doubt he was an angel, some habits just never change. Though in all honesty? Every single one of his mannerisms reminded you of one. The subtly arrogance, how he seemed like he felt superior to everyone, the commanding voice, and the cold shoulder he gave you. Should you really follow such a person? What choices did you have, when it was a direct order from the avatar of pride?

Even so, you wanted to voice your concerns first, gulping down the knot in your throat. “Where are we going?” You tried to sound unsuspecting and cheerful, the last thing you wanted was to accidentally offend him. To be honest all you wanted was to run and escape this suffocating place. “To my bedroom.” He answered nonchalantly, as if that was the most normal thing in the world, to invite someone you barely knew to your bedroom.

One didn’t need to be a genius to guess what his intentions were, so you had to set the record straight right here right now. Who knows, maybe he will let you go if your preferences don’t align. That would be quite a nice outcome indeed. After mustering up enough courage, you stood up as well, looking him sternly in the eyes as you made yourself clear, “If your plan is what I think it is, then please pardon me. I do not wish to get intimate with a stranger.”

A stranger, you said. Right, that’s one way to describe your current relationship. Lucifer thought about your words carefully, looking for the right things to say to convince you. Your logic was understandable, it was the correct way to do it after all. Though he didn’t have time to wait for you to open up to him. The only reason why he wanted to share a night with you was to get Solomon’s descendant on his side, and doing it in the romantic, patient way wouldn’t do. For that, he was too jealous of Solomon to treat his descendants with compassion.

Besides this was hell, the most efficient way to get things done was simply through a sexual act. That way you can find out a lot about the other party. Long story short, he wasn’t going to heed your will. “I understand your point, though I fear I can’t accept it.” He began, and continued after taking a few steps in your direction, “If you wish, you can simply admire and touch me as if I’m merely an object. We don’t need to go all the way.”

Who the heck did he think he was, sure, he was a very prominent figure, but even then how could he disregard and disrespect your opinion like this. “No, I-” He glared at you for a split second, furrowing his eyebrows as he interrupted your sentence, “I won’t take no for an answer, it’s for hell.” Then his features reverted back to the neutral one. For a moment, he reminded you of a certain devil who was known for his bad temper.

With much complaining, you eventually gave up and agreed to his request, feeling a little cornered. “Fine, lead the way then.” You answered begrudgingly, forcing out a meek smile. Lucifer’s expression still didn’t change, he stared at you blankly for a second, before turning around and repeating the words he previously uttered, “Follow me.” How irritating he was, just like any other devil, or angel for that matter.

Not long after you found yourself slandering through the gigantic halls of his palace, it was decorated extravagantly in all the different shades of gold. Merely walking on such expensive-looking ground made you feel inferior. Wherever you looked you could hear the objects scream ‘broke’ at you. This wasn’t a treatment you expected in Paradise Lost, it sounded more befitting of Mammon’s castle.

On the other hand, it was to be expected that the resting place of every king must be of the highest quality, whether if they liked it or not, their subjects would arrange it for them in that manner. Despite you walking right behind him, you didn’t want to watch his back. All you did was curse about how everything unfolded. His shoulders were wide, paired with a slim waist to match. He was wearing a large suit jacket, yet he couldn’t conceal that fact. The way he walked was befitting his aura, rid of any hints of hesitation and full of precision. If someone didn’t know his position, they could still guess it, all due to his habits.

After a while, he finally reached his wanted destination, stopping in front of a room. You sneaked up next to him, still unable to do anything but watch from the sidelines. There was not a single word you two exchanged during your little trip, causing it to be more or less awkward. Lucifer pushed the door open, turning the doorknob and stepping inside, of course, you followed shortly after. The inside of the room was even more lavish than the gorgeous floors outside. Each piece of furniture fit into the frame, all of them had their own designated place, and the way they were lined up implied someone meticulously planning all of it out beforehand.

You couldn’t help but be amazed, these rooms are more than what one could categorize as luxury. Sure, the other king’s palaces didn’t fall behind in any aspects, though you were still impressed nonetheless. To think you’d be allowed inside such a grandiose space… if this was Earth it must cost a fortune. All your initial impressions were washed away the moment you recalled his presence. How did you manage to forget, for even one frame of a second? The moment you noticed, you started keeping to yourself again, hoping you didn’t step out of line. Eyes weakly scanning the room, avoiding his gaze at all costs. What he did next was unexpected, so much so that you ended up finding yourself staring without knowing what to do.

He walked over to the bed, sat down, and began to undress.

The first piece of clothing to be dropped was his jacket with the white snake. Dropping it off onto the ground, then slowly unbuttoning his shirt. In your head, a million thoughts flooded you, especially because you were confused about what to do. When Lucifer started taking his dress shirt off, revealing his toned body, you decided you had enough and asked, “What’s this supposed to mean?” Without even thinking about it, contemplating what he wanted to say, he blurted out, “Seducing you.”

The way he replied was as if he saw nothing wrong with his deeds and choice of words. “Really now? Why would someone like you bother?” Despite a small fraction in the back of your mind having already expected this, considering his intentions were as clear as water, you still had a glimmer of hope that that wouldn’t be the case. He didn’t have any connections with Solomon like the other kings, on the contrary, he is envious of him. For a man like him to want to earn your favor - it sounds unbelievable.

“I simply wanted to try my shot, perhaps I failed already?” Lucifer questioned after seeing your serious expression, his shirt was loose now but not taken off completely. “Failed what?” You asked him, hoping that you could gather enough information to make sense of what was going on. “Failed to impress you.” The blondie said, without hesitation or a hint of sarcasm. Why would you want to impress me, was what you would have liked to ask, though your guts told you to stay quiet.

 It’s a given that anyone would be in awe of him, considering how endearing he’s been the entire time. Even now, him sitting on his bed while flexing his muscles and that slim waist; every part of him was proof that he was sculpted by the loving hand of god personally. “No, that’s not the case..” you stopped mid-track, thinking about the possible outcomes for a bit, being hasty could cause backlash after all. If you praised him, he might take it as consent, but if you refused, would he get defensive? Was he a case like Levi?

Instead of pondering over this any longer, you took a gamble. Fine, since he wished to get laid so badly, shall you entertain him then? You walked up to him and hopped onto the bed as well. The soft sunlight still grazed your skin, the mattress sinking due to your added weight. “I’m plenty impressed, lucifer.” You had to show determination and sincerity, otherwise it wouldn’t bear fruits.

This wasn’t a lie though, he was very beautiful.

Your arm reached out for the male, finding yourself more and more captured by him with each passing second. Now that you were above him, he didn’t seem all that intimidating anymore. Fingers intertwined with his locks, stroking him while giving him a big smile. It felt pleasant, that was his first thought. Like the warmth god showered him with before Solomon came. A deep sigh left him, bitterness suddenly intruded into the room, and the atmosphere proceeded to sink.

No matter how you tried to brush it off, it seemed like he was troubled. It couldn’t have been something you did, right? Nonetheless, you hugged him gently. Your hands were still wrapped in his hair, scraping his scalp with a tenderness he hadn't felt for a long time. You pulled him closer to you until you were both resting your chins on the other’s shoulder. His sharp teeth were dangerously close to your skin, but you tried not to worry.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, no one is forcing you, even if it’s your duty.” Your voice rang through his head, it brought forth a strange sense of comfort. “I’m doing it out of my own will.” He retorted. It smelled fishy to you, but you didn’t pursue it further. Eventually, he returned your embrace. “That’s comforting to hear.” So you replied, If you were to enjoy yourself, you had to make sure the other person wanted it too.

You took a deep breath, taking in his scent before exhaling. Your hot breath tickled his neck and before he knew it, you kissed his neck gently. The way you did it was as if you drew on his skin with your lips. One mark after another, planting them around him and corrupting him with your traces. He was taken aback, though it didn’t feel bad. At most, it tickled, which is why he let you continue, while all he did was breathing softly next to your ear. Each exhale blew some air against your skin as well, cheering you on to continue your actions.

Soon, your kisses turned into sucks, leaving behind more of your presence, proof and traces of this session today. The spots you touched would turn red shortly after, and persist for the rest of the day. How greedy of you, did you wish to mark him as yours?

“Child of Adam- uh, no, of Solomon… you, haaah.” He called out to you, hands lingering over your back. This was the first time you saw him hesitating to do something, he wasn’t sure if he had permission to crawl at your back. “Never mind.” Lucifer sighed and let you continue your little drawing session.

With time you also trailed off, going lower with your movements. All that persisted was a path from his neck to the middle of his chest. He sat up straight, only to get pushed into the mattress by you. His shirt was hanging off his shoulders as if he carefully orchestrated it this way. You hovered above him, hands releasing his hair and instead grabbing the sides of his torso. There you traced his silhouette with your hands until you were holding his astonishingly small waist. 

It felt good, his skin was smooth and nice to the touch, also your hands fit in that place so perfectly, as if he was God's gift to you. Besides he seemed to like it as well, since he didn’t protest. Instead, his face started to flush slightly, alongside a sudden change in rhythm with his heartbeat. “I’m guessing I’m supposed to leave it all to you..?” Lucifer gazed up at you through half-lidded eyes, a slight, almost inaudible tremble underneath his voice. “That’s right, you told me I can treat you like an object.” You reminded him, he didn’t know if you meant it or not.

You started sucking on his nipples afterward, first licking the area and circling around it with the tip of your tongue, then flicking the wet muscle over his perky buds. His breasts were squishy and so pretty, you couldn’t help yourself. After taking a glance at his reddened face, you began sucking on his pecs. A shiver ran down his spine at the realization, face twisted into a pleasure-ridden expression.

This wasn’t a completely new feeling, since he did have experience with intimacy, though he was never the bottom. Or, rather, no one ever dared to top and grope him like this. You were truly beyond what a normal mortal was, having the resolve to touch him however you want without shivering in fear. At this rate, he might become quite fond of you.

“Do you enjoy touching me there?” He uttered, a breathy moan following close by. “I would do it if I didn’t like it.” You snapped back, a part of you wondered how you suddenly got the courage to talk to him like that. Was it because he’s under you? “…be gentle with me then.” The Blondie said, turning his face to the sides to avoid your watching gaze. “I can’t promise it, but I’ll try.” A teasing smile showed on your face as you uttered those words, eyes squinted slightly into a suspicious smile. “You don’t look trustworthy at all.” Lucifer mocked, though you ignored him and instead rolled your eyes.

Now that things have escalated to this point, the angel was wondering how far you two would go. Was this the end or the beginning, will he regret it in the end? “Ha.. uh-uhm,.” Occasionally, a sharp gasp would slip from him. Whenever you used too much force or pinched him too hard, the pain he felt would turn into pleasure and raise his libido, rendering him unable to repress his voice. Whatever this was, it must be what god wanted for him and his brothers, right? Otherwise, he wouldn't have created this feeling, this bliss and ecstasy.

You tried your best to stimulate both of his nipples, rolling the cute pink bud between your teeth. Red marks have plagued his upper area too now, and the amount was much more compared to his neck. A sense of pride filled you at your own achievement, or better yet, at this work of art beneath you. “Simply divine.” You uttered while gazing up at him through an adoring gaze, something completely different from only minutes ago. Then you noticed how his eyes were half-lidded, face blushing and lips parted due to his heavy breathing. A tired look on his face as he stared at you through wet lashes, or was it a needy look?

Who in the world would be able to resist such temptation, the temptation of the most powerful being getting all submissive for you. It has gotten increasingly difficult to resist this fine man, much harder than it was with anyone else. Without wasting more precious time and chatting any further, you switched your focus to the other one. You’ve ruined one side enough already, it was swollen and red while the other still looked pretty healthy. Wasn’t it time to abuse that spot too? Now using your hand to flick the previous one, while sipping on the other with your lips. Not long after he started making more sounds, resistance shredding entirely.

These noises were beautiful, absolutely stunning, they were like music to your ears. You listened closely while he whined and panted, feeling proud that you made him into the mess of a man. “HuuhH.. ha- hnng..! Wa-wait…” Something was strange, why did this feel so nice? Why was his heart racing so much, when it never happened with anyone but god? Not to mention how his body burned whenever your skin made contact, it tingled and felt giddily. Was it your charm, or because of the skillful touch of your hands? So many questions were going to be left unanswered, while his desire grew with each passing moment.

Suddenly you noticed something strange on your tongue, at the same time your finger seems to have touched a foreign liquid. “NghHhh…” Lucifer gasped as you pulled back, leaving his reddening nipples alone. His poor buds have been used and abused for so long, they were standing up all proud and hard. The same goes for the thing inside his pants, creating an obvious bulge between his legs. A dark spot formed where the tip of the tent was. You only stared at him, at his body, unable to comprehend the situation. What was that, you thought at first, then a bright smile crept onto your features. Was it perhaps what you thought it was?

The Blondie glanced at you a few times, before mumbling, “Why did you stop?” He couldn’t comprehend your actions, he thought everything was going alright, so why did you ruin the rhythm like this? There was no answer from your side, you remained silent. Right as he was about to ask again, you resumed your previous actions, flicking his nipples again which immediately yearned a yelp from the male. “Hmm-! UgGhh..” a watery and slightly milky substance dripped from his breasts onto your fingers. Exactly as you expected.

In the meantime, he was gripping the sheets as tightly as he could, to the point that his knuckles turned white. Surprise and amazement were written all over your face, he couldn’t quite fathom why you looked so excited, though before he got the chance to speak you basically answered him already, “Haha.. you are lactating, lucifer.” The words that came from your lips were foreign, it caused his heart to stand still for a second.

“Excuse me?” His pupils shrank, and he pulled such a silly and cute look of confusion as a response. Without further delay, you licked over his hardened nipples, and then another drop of milk stimulated your taste buds. “It’s delicious..!” You couldn’t help but compliment him, feeling overjoyed at this new discovery. Never have you ever experienced something astonishing as this, though if you had to be completely honest, it didn’t taste all that much. 

Wait, hold up, explain- lactation? You mean him, lucifer, the good that fell from grace, was producing milk all this time? How his head spun, processing this information was too much for the inexperienced angel. Sure, he isn’t naive when it comes to intimate things, but he wasn’t this deep into it! Lucifer would have been longer lost in his thoughts if it weren’t for your rough treatment. Despite his inner turmoil you kept sucking and nibbling at him with a newfound fever, swallowing anything his body gave to you.

“Ahh…” the Blondie moaned, then proceeded to whine desperately, “Don’t be.. too rough..” it didn’t hurt, but it made him feel like he was on the brink of losing his sanity. All because of the weird pleasures and bliss he got out of this, he was reaching highs he never knew before. And you didn’t even touch him on his private parts, so why was he so sensitive?

“Is this how angel milk is made?” You asked him jokingly while rubbing his nipple in between your teeth, still playing with that poor body part of his. “NgGhhm..! Don’t ask- haaaa… stupid things..” God, his voice was so adorable it fuelled your want to ruin and bully him. All you wanted to do was to play with him until he didn’t have anything to offer anymore, until you sucked him dry. Just the thought of it was making you happy.

Pair that with the neutral but slightly sweet taste of his milk, you felt like you were in heaven. “I wish I had some tea to pair with your milk.” The bitterness of the tea would be compensated for with the sweet aftertaste of his milk. It would have been such a fine combination. His blush intensified at your comment, how do you always manage to come up with such unique ideas?

“Shall I request Buer or someone else to bring a cup?” This was only a teasing question, to provoke him. Yet to your surprise, he started crying and holding onto your sleeves. “No-.. don’t.” Tears akin to diamonds rolled down his cheeks, sparkling the entire time. Your heart jumped at his reaction. Like a deer caught in headlights, you couldn’t help but stare at him with a blank expression. Tears? Cries? You made the strongest being after god cry? What a satisfying feeling that was, you were captured by his beautiful, tears-ridden face.

Lucifer frowned and bit his bottom lip, embarrassed at his vulnerable state. Before he could wipe his tears with his sleeves, you kissed them away. Even you yourself didn’t know exactly why you did it. After all, this wasn’t because you couldn’t stand his crying face, because he looked beautiful while shedding those water droplets. Guess you just wanted a taste, to see if it was as delicious as his.. other fluids? You wanted to caress his face in that moment, to hold him and whisper all the dirty things you were going to do to him into his ear. This was similar to your experience on Christmas with his brothers, only ten times better.

How strange, he felt a certain kind of Deja vu at your tender touch. For one second, he could see the adoring caresses from his little brothers on him, hugging or holding his hand. Then he got reminded of when he first opened his eyes, when the love of god belonged only to him. “I want to taste all of you.” You whispered, pulling him out of his daydream again. On the other hand, you were almost shocked at how perverted your own words were. His sobbing quieted down slightly, and he looked away hesitantly. Lips trembled a little as a genuine, sad tear rolled down his chin.

“I’m sorry, that was too mean of me to say, to bring your subordinate into this as well.” You thought that was the reason why he was crying, so you quickly apologized. The blondie thought about your apology while you ate up his tears like it was a five-course meal, he clenched his eyes shut due to how close you were. “I’m alright.” He responded though the sobbing wouldn’t stop. Why? “..I hope that is the truth.” You eventually admitted, then caressed his face once again. If anything, you didn’t wish to hurt him.

After you resumed your earlier demonstrations and pinched his nipples, his sex twitched around, yearning to be freed. “Ah, it hurts.” Lucifer groaned loudly, his sharp teeth injured his own lips. “Is that all you feel?” You teased him. Tsk, asking something so obvious, you were playing games with him again, weren’t you?

“Be honest with me, Luci.” The sound of that nickname was weird, it brought forth unfamiliar sensations he had never experienced before. The angel still refused to elaborate further, since it was shameful for him. It would sound so weird if he admitted he liked the pain, he didn’t want to make a fool of himself. That stupid pride of his…

All that silence was getting too annoying, you wanted his opinion. In the end, you nibbled on his buds again, stopping only to say, “I can see that you are enjoying yourself, the wet spot on your pants is growing.” A yelp slipped from him, finally a shocked expression was spread across his features. “Ugh.. why now?!” He seemed to condemn his own body, feeling ashamed at this vulgar sight of his. “Look, everything down here is so sticky.” You said while your hand crept lower, to grobe him through his pants. “MhhHm, is— is that so?” Huh, was he trying to play the naive card now?

You held your now defiled hand right in front of his face as if to prove a point. “Exactly! Look right here.” A perverse-looking liquid stuck to your fingers and palm, it made a squelching sound whenever you clenched your hand. “Ah.. ah.” He whined, to think that he produced this filthy thing..! He turned his head to the side, to avoid looking at it. Poor Birdy hasn’t been this ashamed for centuries.

When you noticed his embarrassment, you grinned again, then brought your hand to his chest. Then you smeared all of it onto his chest, causing everything to get all wet and sticky. “HnHhn..!? Did you just-..?” Lucifer turned around as soon as he felt his own precum touching his otherwise pure and divine skin.

If that wasn’t enough already, you had to go back to playing with his already exhausted nipples. On top of that, you were cleaning up the mess you made on his chest, swallowing his slightly bitter precum along with his milk. “It’s a pretty good substitute for tea, heh.” You commented, then stuck your tongue out for him to see the two fluids mixed together, along with your spit as well.

His mouth hung agape, half due to shock, half because he couldn’t restrain his groans. You took that opportunity to kiss him and stick your tongue inside his mouth, swirling it around to make him taste himself. “MhmhGnnH..!! NHhH- uhHhnnn..♡♥︎~!” All he could do was moan into your mouth or choke out broken whimpers as more tears decorated the scene. Your hands didn’t stay useless and kept fiddling with his chest. This was too much stimulation for the poor angel, he literally saw stars as the mix of bitter and sweet danced across his tastebuds. The way you kissed him was rough yet pleasant, bringing forth an ecstasy completely new to him.

When you shoved your wet muscle down his throat, causing him to gag, a huge wave of pleasure coursed through his body. He shivered so much, shaking to the point you were almost worried. At the same time, his eyes rolled to the back of his skull as all of his moans got muffled by you. The only sounds slipping through were meek whimpers, barely audible to the human ears.

After you were done and you pulled back, granting him the privilege to breathe again, he looked like a total mess. Drool was hanging out of his lips, as well as something milkier in color. Strings of saliva were connecting his swollen lips with yours. A dazed look in his eyes, as if he didn’t bear a single thought behind those melting pupils. His face was covered in a layer of sweat and tears, his already messy locks stuck to his body like gum. You called out his name, saying it in a sweet and innocent tone. He didn’t answer you, only staring into the space like a used doll. Was he perhaps in sub-space? How adorable.

Your gaze coincidentally landed on his crotch, noticing how some of the white fluids were seeping through his trousers. Ah, so that’s what happened. This little angel here came untouched huh? Amazing, simply stunning. That sadistic smirk of yours returned as you yanked off his pants, holding back your laughter at the mess he made. You just had to taunt him for that, snarking at him, “Aww, did the big Lucifer cum from some touching and kissing? How humiliating, don’t you agree?” No answers, just a quiet whine did escape his throat. Good, he can still hear you.

“Such a mess you made, tsk tsk tsk.” You clicked your tongue, sarcastically shaking your head. After that you whispered sickly sweet, “But it’s alright, you will clean it up afterwards anyway, isn’t that so, Luci?”

Tags: @shianarou @ghostiegirl56 @thisisnotangel @ghostgoosygoose @aghrentroplayer @i-dont-fooken-know @chuuya-brainrot @allyfoxglove @thigh-o-saur @fallenthemisticalyingyang @fem-dom-roze

Nini!rant 2.0:

Men can lactate too, right. That’s something we’ve known for a long time. But only about 1/8 of men have the necessary requirements to produce milk. Because producing milk has something to do with the hormone levels, and it’s unusual for men to have enough to actually produce milk. Even then, it’d be a more watery consistence compared to the milk of a woman.

Anyway, to get a man to lactate isn’t as easy as it is in fiction. You’ll have to basically suck on the nipple, with a vacuum or mouth, for weeks (depends on the individual) for it to start producing small amounts of milk. Or in other words, constant nipple stimulation.

Another way is to take medicine promoting the needed hormones, or to starve oneself -> during World War II there has been records of prisoners lactating after starving and finally being fed. Many speculate it’s because of the dropping hormone levels due to starvation and the sudden rising once they receive food again. That’s why their bodies produced milk. (Pls don’t ask)

There are also cases where all this doesn’t apply and a guy lactates for no reason… then it’d be in your best interest to check it out with a doctor. It could be breast cancer after all, and this doesn’t only apply to guys, if anyone just suddenly leaks milk for no reason it could be signs of cancer.

[snowluvvie]

₊˚⊹ ♡ . farmhand!JJ maybank

MINORS DNI. | warnings — fem!reader, degradation, name-calling, crying, sweet pet names, clothes ripping, public sex (kinda, not really), hair pulling, pinching and slapping (he's so annoying), hickeys/bruises, oral (f. receiving), p in v

farmhand JJ who's a total burnout, a high school dropout with no prospects, but he can work

farmhand JJ who's really got nothing but his own two hands, but he'll lift and pull and plant, and his smile's pearly white and all too charming, so your daddy hires him on your farm to help out

you wander around the farm with your top pulled a little bit too low, just enough for that little lacy white bra to peek out of the top

farmhand JJ who looks at you like a shark, like he'd devour you if you let your guard down for two seconds—and you do, and he does

you're inventing excuses out of thin air as to why you have to be outdoors when JJ's working—sometimes it's something sweet, like bringing him a glass of lemonade in the heat—sometimes you just go out to "check on the cows," and you develop a certain affinity for "reading under the big oak tree." you'll come up with anything if it means being out there with him

farmhand JJ who’s so gentlemanlike to your daddy when he comes around, bows his head respectfully and shakes his hand every time

when your daddy says things like, "you make sure you're takin' care of her when she's out here!" JJ’s grinning nonthreateningly and assuring him, “‘course, sir, wouldn’t dream of anythin' less.” with a humble nod, though he makes obscene gestures at you behind your father’s back when he turns around. you almost feel pity for your poor, sweet father and his far too-high opinion of you and JJ. you have to lie that the heat’s quite intense when your father catches you fanning the fiery heat spreading across your cheeks and neck

farmhand JJ who's got a mouth on him (no, not like that) (well, yeah. like that too, actually) who teases you endlessly. calls you a priss and a daddy's girl, a hay slut? whatever the hell that means (he definitely made it up.) he makes fun of your girly clothes and that sweet look you always have on your face, says "you ain't got a clue what's goin' on, huh?"

farmhand JJ who will and has ran his mouth until it made you cry, and waits until there are tears streaming down your face to give you a big grin and grab your face, kissing all over your cheeks and your forehead, insisting, "c'mon babydoll, ya know I didn't mean it, right?" though you're pretty sure that's a lie

farmhand JJ who keeps pressing obnoxious kisses to your tear-stained face until you stop mumbling protests and trying to push him off, and finally just kiss him back

farmhand JJ who always smells like sweat and grass clippings and motor oil, and tastes like sweet tea with too much sugar and sweet corn

farmhand JJ who doesn't care about your cute clothes or your nice hair. he kicks dirt at you when you walk past him, goes out of his way to rip your nice panties when he's having his way with you. when the two of you are rolling around in the barn loft, he manages to get you even more disgusting than you already would've gotten

farmhand JJ who messes up your hair something awful, and if you go out there wearing one of your pretty ribbons, he makes sure to tug it out one way or another—either when you're under him, or just when you're innocently walking past. he grins at the squeal you let out, and tucks it into the back pocket of his jeans, the little sliver of red poking out for the rest of the day

farmhand JJ who kisses you like he wants to eat you, he squishes your cheeks together in his hand, bites your lip and licks at the inside of your mouth feverishly, and when you finally pull away, a string of saliva still connects you

farmhand JJ who’s fucking annoying, who grabs one of your braids and pulls, pinches your cheek—your face and your ass—hard enough to make you yelp, and then gives it a slap with a satisfied grin, tells you he loves hearing you “squeal like a piggy”

when you tell him he can’t leave bruises where your parents can see them, and JJ takes that as a personal challenge

farmhand JJ who leaves massive hickeys on the tops of your breasts, the inside of your thighs between mouthfuls as he goes down on you ravenously, your soft stomach. he decorates you with purple and blue and red and admires each and every one of them

he leaves massive handprint-shaped bruises on your hips and your ass, from slapping and gripping onto you too hard, but they’re hidden by your cute little dresses and skirts—you just can’t wear anything too short, and JJ prefers you have some restrictions anyway

farmhand JJ who's never selfless, not even when he's going down on you. he gets you sat in the seat of the tractor, spreading you wide open until you have one foot up on the dash and the other leg slung over his shoulder, and then he eats your pussy for him

he makes out with it like he's kissing your lips, going slow until you're mewling pathetically and begging him through choked sobs to let you cum. when he gives in to your begging, you almost wish he hadn't with the way he makes you cum over and over again, until you're sobbing and he has to muffle it with his hand

he kisses you, and you taste yourself on him, though you're such a sniffling mess you can barely kiss him back. JJ tells you what he always does: "you're so beautiful when ya cry, baby. ya know that? got the prettiest tears in the whole world, my girl," and you smile a little bit through them

when you’re inside your family's farmhouse, you watch him out the window—mowing the lawn, fixing the fence, lugging a hay bale across the yard. with the disgusting, greasy wife-beater or, if you’re lucky, shirtless, his tan skin bared to the sun. either way, dripping with sweat

you practically swoon every time you watch him out the window, head leaned against your hand. from that distance he almost looks like a nice boy—though you know better

farmhand JJ who catches you, of course, how could he not with the way you’re leaned halfway out the window. he brings it up when he’s fucking you, he’s got you on your back with your legs wrapped around his waist as he ruts against you wildly, telling you: “c’mon baby, get your fill. i saw ya earlier, starin’ at me. ya like what ya see, huh? c’mon, look at me.”

farmhand JJ who grabs your face and makes you stare at him, makes you hold eye contact while he fucks you. when your brain goes all fuzzy and your eyes lose focus as you cum, he looks at you triumphantly, though it makes him bust inside of you with a drawn-out groan

farmhand JJ who holds onto you so tightly

not just when he's holding you in place, or bouncing you on his cock, but also when you're not fucking. when you're both breathless, chests heaving afterwards, laying side-by-side in the hayloft, the muscular arm he has wrapped around your waist is like a vice

farmhand JJ who squishes your hand when he holds it, crushing your fingers with his until you complain owww, and then grins unapologetically

he crushes you when he hugs you, like he's trying to break your ribs between his biceps, fingers digging into your skin and face shoved into your neck as he inhales you

you tell him once, jokingly: "I'm not gonna run away, Jayj," when he's practically squeezing the life out of you. he laughs, but he doesn't loosen up. "ya never know, right? won't take my chances." it's the closest thing he ever says to I don't wanna lose you—the JJ version of saying that

farmhand JJ whose laugh is the closest you've ever gotten to the sound of sunlight. it echoes off the walls of the barn and through the fields, it's loud and gleeful and carefree, and you'd do anything to hear it

farmhand JJ who teases you for all your "rich girl shit," but gets rock-hard at a single whiff of your rose petal perfume, or the barest glance of your candy-sweet lip gloss. "daddy's money, huh? fuck," those are the rare times he fails to make fun of you, his teases dying on his tongue in favor of yanking your skirt up and making quick work of the buttons on your little blouse so he can take his fill of you

farmhand JJ who—rarely, but still sometimes—falls asleep in the hayloft after he tires himself out cumming one too many times inside of you. sunlight still filters through the barn slats, and his tight grip around your waist doesn't loosen at all. you get to stare at his face when it's smooth, not grinning or teasing or twisted up, though there is still a giant smudge of dirt across his cheek

you wonder what it would be like if it stayed like this forever, if neither of you left the farm. you think about JJ at the head of the farmhouse table one day, instead of hauling shit around the yard, and you can't help the fat tears that well in your eyes when you think about how JJ would never go for that. he doesn't stay still. he comes and he goes

eventually, he would go. you knew that. but you lay your head on his chest and play pretend that he won't—just for a little bit

[hiiikiko]

𝖘𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖙 𝖆𝖘 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖇𝖊

pure smut tbh, bully!ellie x reader

tw: bully!ellie, sweet!reader, sadistic notes, maschistic notes, and maybe a few more idk lol

Ellie hated you, she couldn’t put her finger on why, though. Maybe it was the stupid bows in your effortlessly curly hair, the way those pretty long lashes would bat up at her when she slammed you into a locker, or maybe… maybe it was the fact that you just had to be so fucking sweet to everyone, sweet as can be.

She bit harder on the wood of her No.2 pencil, her eyes boring a hole into the back of your head where that stupid fucking pink bow was sitting, her mind not even attempting to listen to whatever the professor was saying. Her mind was still reeling from she had witnessed earlier, you and that stupid boy flirting near the water fountains, or at least that’s what it looked like.

“Class is dismissed,” the professor’s dull voice echoed throughout the classroom.

You quickly collected your things and stuffed it into your backpack, your mind focused on getting out of there as soon as possible, before you-know-who corners you and escaping into the safety of your room.

You were so, so close to sweet freedom when she-who-must-not-be-named swooped in front of you, grabbing you by the collar like a mama lion would carry her baby cub but this time, she was the lion and you were the poor gazelle with your neck in her mouth.

“Hey Ellie,” you nervously laugh and tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, mouth running dry as her piercing green eyes rake over you.

You had no clue why she hated you so much. You were a complete sweetheart to everyone, never even accidentally stepped on someone’s toe when making your way through the crowded seats of your lecture halls and yet, this girl, hated your guts.

“Yeah, hey,” her eyes narrowed at your outfit, she clearly had a distaste for the frills, lace, and pink, “Need a favour.”

You knew that a favour from Ellie wasn’t a favour at all, it was and order, “Okay, what is it?”

She scoffed, she couldn’t believe how easy this was, “Come over to my dorm, room 328, Saint Cal Hall, need help with classowork.”

She nodded at you and left the classroom. Ellie smiled as she made her way to her next class, how could you be so fucking sweet to her, your bully? She shook her head.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Ellie’s dorm was clean.. surprisingly. Maybe you stereotyped her a bit too hard.. you had assumed that all jocks were assholes who left their socks strewn all over and waited for the weekends for their moms or girlfriends to clean up their dorms.

Studying went well.. until..

“Why were you talking with that frat boy,” she crossed her arms and leaned into the chair of her desk.

You racked your brain for a frat boy… frat boy… “Oh! Liam? I was just giving him some advice on Professor Edwards class since I took it last semester,” you truthfully admit.

“That so?” she scoffed, not buying it.

“Mhm,” you hum out, your body tensing under her gaze.. you couldn’t deny it, Ellie was objectively attractive, hell, she was hot. The way her hair was messy but in an effortlessly cool way, her piercing gaze that never seemed to falter, the way she was so close, you could count the freckles on her face, the way—.

“So you couldn’t see the way he was looking at you? He was obviously eye-fucking you,” she scoffs and eyes you up and down, “You can’t even blame him when you’re wearing a skirt that short.”

Your cheeks flushed red and tears began to prick the corners of your eyes, you should be used to the bullying by now, right? But you weren’t, if anything you had gotten more and more sensitive.. and Ellie noticed that.

“I don’t need this,” you mutter and make your way to the door.

“Aw, you crying?” she laughed dryly and pushed herself off the chair, circling you like a vulture, “Did that hurt your feelings? God, grow up.”

You wiped your tears with your sleeve and sniffle, “I’m not crying.”

The way your lashes glistened with tears stirred something deep within Ellie, “God, you’re too sweet.”

You cocked your head in confusion…. ‘too sweet?’

“What do you mean by that?” you wipe another tear away.

“You really wanna know what I mean?” she took a step closer to your front, her pale hand wiping away your fat teardrops.

You weren’t sure how to answer but then you hesitantly nod.

Within one quick motion, Ellie looks the door and with her other hand, pulls you in by your neck, hungrily kissing you, a small groan escaping her pretty lips.

You were confused, this girl who has bullied you since Freshman year is now kissing you, causing your knees to buckle as you wrap your arms around her to hold yourself up.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” she growled out and pushed you up against her bed, her hands lifting you up onto it while she nipped at your neck, “Too fucking sweet for your own good,” she muttered against your neck.

Right now, all Ellie could think of was you… the way you always smiled at your fellow classmates, the way you didn’t notice the fluttering touches that the boys in the class would leave on you. In her own sadistic way, this was almost a way to teach you a lesson, to teach you that not everyone should be treated in such a sweet manner, that not anybody can be trusted.. if it meant protecting you, she was willing to play the big bad wolf.

She roughly pulled up your skirt and moved the thin fabric of your panties to the side, her fingers grazing against your folds, “You’re so fucking wet,” she laughs cruelly, “You really getting off on this?”

Your cheeks flared red, “N-No.”

“Liar,” she laughed and pushed two fingers in, earning a sharp gasp from you. Even in this case, she was as cruel as ever.

“E-Ellie,” you whimper and move your hips so she could reach deeper.

She turned her head to not-so-subtly sniff your strawberry scented hair, groaning at the sweet smell. Everything about you is so sweet, she angled her hand in a way that would make her two fingers move further into your sweet pussy, her fingers pushing up against that sweet spot deep within you, “What? Feelin’ good?”

You eagerly nod, you were already so close, you were clenching so hard around her, “I-I’m gonna—.”

She rolled her eyes, “Already? Don’t you fucking dare, you’ll cum when I tell you to.”

She was being so mean and both of you knew it but you couldn’t deny that you didn’t like it.

Ellie knew she had to teach you a lesson like, come on. You came all the way across campus to her dorm to tutor her? To tutor your fucking bully? Get real, you were too fucking naive for your own good and like that saint she is, Ellie decided to teach you a very much needed lesson.

She moved her fingers faster, rougher, causing your eyes to flutter shut. Your hands desperately balled the sheets up into your fist, desperately trying to find anything to keep you grounded. You were so close, you were going to—.

Just as you were about to be pushed over the edge, she pulled her fingers out, they were slick and wet, “You’re such a pathetic girl,” she laughs and licks her fingers clean, “but you taste so sweet.”

“Get on all fours,” she said, roughly turning you over and watching as you get up.

You heard faint rusting and a drawer opening, you glanced back to see Ellie with a strap on tied around her.

She climbed onto the mattress and pushes you down, holding your hands against the mattress so that your face was flat against the bed as she rammed the strap into you.

You let out a loud cry at the harsh thrusts, tears pricking your eyes as your eyes rolled back.

“Gotta stop being so fucking sweet,” Ellie groans, emphasizing each word with a sharp thrust, her hand roughly circling your aching clit while the other pushed your head deeper into the mattress.

All you could do was cry out ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘won’t do it again’ over and over.

She growled at your pathetic babbling, “You’re so fucking weak.”

You whimpered, you never really cared for how harsh she could be but… it was a completely different story if it was in bed.

“You like how mean I am, baby?” she laughed as she felt you clench around the strap.

You nod, too fucked out to care about what you just admitted.

“Yeah?” she whispered against your neck, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“Y-yeah,” you whimper.

“You like being fucked by your bully?” she laughed and went harder, bullying the strap deeper inside you.

You couldn’t hold it in anymore, your vision turned white as you fell apart on the strap, your body shaking from the intensity of your orgasm.

As your brain came out of that fuzzy bliss, you heard Ellie laughing softly, “You’re way too sweet.”

[iimplicitt]

OFF TO THE RACES | LN4

parings: lando x cowgirl unnamed fem! character (faceclaim bella hadid)

summary: the mclaren team gets taken to a rodeo ahead of the austin grand prix. lando takes the saying; “save a horse, ride a cowboy” a little too literally. let’s take Jesus off the dashboard, he’s got enough on his mind.

warnings: 18+ smut!!, car sex (it’s crime don’t do it), unprotected p in v (also don’t do this), one night stand, lando in a cowboy hat, hickeys, spitting, praise, size kink? kind of, lando has a thing for making her cry (in a good way), social media posts towards the end

wc: 3.8k

a/n: i’m a born and raised texan so don’t come for me with the stereotypes in this LET ME DREAM

Sweat coated his skin as they walked, the road cracked and uneven as they made their way up to the exposition center turned rodeo. It was Zak’s idea, a bonding experience he said for Lando and Oscar even though that was completely unnecessary. They probably spent too much time together as is.

Their boss smiled at them, already sun burnt a bit as they got closer and closer to the blaring country music. “You can’t get a more American experience than this!”

Lando and Oscar looked at each other for a moment before shaking their heads, smiling despite how ridiculous this all seemed. Lando had no interest in watching animals run around in dirt while shitty music blared through speakers all the while someone’s beer might be spilling on him. Then again, maybe he was being cynical and the South was about to be full of surprises.

The whole venue was crowded, making it seem even hotter despite the setting Texas sun. There was a carnival going on as well, a good chunk of people still running around playing games or going on rides. The other half were pouring through the large open doors, the Mclaren Formula One team being a part of it.

It was loud, the metal ceiling and walls echoing the sound of music and people talking and shouting. It was lively, he could admit that. Maybe it would even be fun drunk, but that was a big no go in regard to the rule book of a race weekend.

Someone met them near the entrance, a man who clearly worked with the venue based on the obvious cowboy get up he had on. Boots, hat, the whole thing. Zak did most of the talking while Lando and Oscar looked around curiously, watching as people bustled about and waving at those who recognized them.

Eventually they were led to a section close to the floor, front row seats to all the action. Neither driver really knew what to expect, but the very last thing Lando was anticipating was seeing the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on riding out on horseback.

He was awestruck immediately, his eyes not leaving her as she made her way around the perimeter, smiling and waving as she went. Fuck, she was stunning. Her skin was tan and glowing, her grin bright and brown hair tucked loosely under a cowboy hat. He felt his heart skip a beat as she got closer and closer to where he was sitting, and Lando became acutely aware of himself as he leaned his elbows against the railing. Hoping he didn’t look like a dumbass and for once hoping he didn’t look too British.

Would she even be interested in an Englishman? The thoughts running through his head were ridiculous but everything seemed to go mute as she passed right by him. Tipping her hat down and sending him a wink before the horse continued on its path.

“Careful mate, I think you’re drooling.” Oscar laughed from next to him, nudging him knowingly.

“Shut up, Osc.” Lando barely spared his teammate a glance before he tracked his gaze back to her. Watching in awe as she did whatever the hell she was doing, maneuvering the horse expertly around obstacles, dirt kicking up around her but her face didn’t give anything away but pure determination and focus. He’d never seen anything so graceful.

The rest of the night he kept an eye on her whenever he was able to, his gaze flicking up to the big screen to catch her name anytime she was shown on camera. When she laughed at something her friend said, her head thrown back and eyes crinkling, he thought the earth was opening up underneath him with the desperation to hear the sound of it.

When the rodeo was over, Oscar just about had to drag him away from the railing to get him to leave. “I’m sure this is how your fans feel,” the Australian joked, not at all bothered by the glare Lando was throwing his way.

“I’m not her fan. Merely an admirer.”

“And I'm sure that’s the mindset all your fans have. Besides,” he gestured to where a decently large group of men were waiting near the exit at the back of the expo center shouting her name. “Seems she already has groupies.”

Lando ticked his jaw, not seeing how waiting around would help them at all. He didn’t want to pull the I’m an F1 driver card because then he’d come off like a complete arse. So, cutting his losses he followed everyone else and headed into downtown Austin to find a bar to attend.

Not that he saw the point given; no drinking.

The music was even louder in the bar that was also combined with that he knew very little about like line dancing. Mulling over his water as he scrolled through his phone, he hesitated for a moment before typing her name into instagram.

“Christ,” he muttered. Every time he saw her she seemed to get prettier.

He debated on following her but he knew someone somewhere would take notice and spin it into something it’s not. Even if he wished there was something to blow out of proportion.

Someone bumped his arm and his thumb hit the follow button.

Lando blinked at his phone for a moment, watching her follow count tick up by one and he squeezed his eyes shut. Letting out a sigh he shoved his phone back in his pocket, no point in undoing that hiccup given she’d see the notification. Some small part of himself, or maybe a larger portion, wanted her to take notice. Take an interest, and maybe follow him back. Hell, he’d beg the universe for a DM if he had to.

Oscar appeared and gestured with a hand, smiling as if he knew something. “Look who it is.”

Following his friend’s gaze, Lando looked around before his eyes fell on what Oscar was looking so fucking smug about.

There she was, barely twenty feet away and leaning against the bar. Her smile was contagious as she talked with her friends animatedly with her hands.

“Go and talk to her.”

Lando spun around, looking at Oscar as if he just suggested he commit suicide. “What?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Since when are you nervous when it comes to girls? Just go and say hi.”

“I’ll look like a stalker who followed her here from the rodeo.”

“Right, like she even remembers seeing you.”

Lando's hands went to cover his heart, his features warped into offense. “Ouch, Osc. Low blow.”

The Aussie was hearing none of it as he lightly took hold of Lando’s hoodie and shoved him in her direction. “Thank me later.”

His annoyance wasn’t all that genuine, in fact he was thankful for the shove of encouragement as he made his way over to her. Fuck, was his hair alright? Did he smell bad? He’d been sweating all day. He hadn’t even talked to her yet and she had his mind reverting back into his insecure teenage self.

She caught his eye before he was too close, recognition flashing briefly across her face as her friends continued to talk. Her smile slipped into something more sultry- more knowing. Like she knew exactly why he was here. He wouldn’t be surprised if she got approached a lot, she was stunning.

He came to a stop, her friends' voices slowly fading into silence as they all looked at him. The air tense and a bit awkward but he forced a casual laugh. “Hi.”

Was that really all he had?

She bit her bottom lip, clearly amused by him before he was finally graced by the sound of her voice. “Howdy.”

Even that was heavenly.

“Do people here really say that?” Stupid non flirtatious things were pouring out of his mouth.

Her and her friends laughed, looking at him as if he was a court jester and he wanted to punch Oscar next time he saw him.

“Do you really say cheerio?”

This time he laughed, feeling more relaxed and he shook his head. “No, I don’t at least.”

Her pale green eyes slated to her friends for a moment, something silent passing between them and before he knew it they were alone. She gestured her head for him to come and stand beside her and Lando obliged like a lovesick puppy.

She leaned in close, the smell of her perfume mixed with polished leather was addictive and he wanted to bottle up the scent and keep it forever. “For the record,” she began, her accent light but noticeable. “I do say howdy as a greeting.”

He grinned at her, leaning down to match the level of her gaze and her slight whisper. “It’s cute.”

Her eyes flicked over his face, taking in his features and for the briefest moment her gaze danced over his lips. Making him feel dizzy and he wondered what the woman was doing to him.

She leaned back slightly and took a sip of her drink. “I saw you at the rodeo earlier.”

“I’m glad I’m memorable.”

“You’re hard to miss. You don’t exactly scream you’re from the south. Especially wearing this when it’s almost a hundred out.” She tugged lightly at the string of his hoodie, her lips pulled back in a playful smile and he wished he could just grab her and kiss her. The thought was overwhelming but he had to remind himself not to be an absolute creep.

“Well, it seems the stars are aligning then. I was hoping I’d get to run into you at some point.”

“You sure you didn’t stalk me Mr. Norris?”

He blinked at her. “You know who I am?”

Her cheeks were dusted a rosy pink as she waved her phone at him, his instagram page glowing at him and he shut his eyes. “That was an accident and a coincidence that you happened to be here.”

“Aw, and here I was being flattered.” She scrolled through his page, a giggle leaving her as she came across a picture of him in the ocean with mud all over his face and wearing a pair of sunglasses.

“No, don’t look-“ he tried to cover her screen with his hand but she took hold of his wrist and playfully shoved him away.

“This is golden.” She laughed. “This is what millionaires get up to?”

“You’re looking at all the wrong pictures.” He tried to reason, surely blushing as he made to cover her phone again and she pushed him away, this time with her hip and he felt his mind slip into a numbness that craved her touch again. She was pressed against him now, laughing for another moment before she eventually followed him back.

Her back pressed against his chest, turning to look at him over her shoulder and flashing the screen at him. “There.”

He looked down at her and completely ignored the phone, one hand falling to her waist absentmindedly as his other arm kept him upright against the counter of the bar. Her face was so close and he took in every minute detail. The way her skin glowed, dusted with a faint blush. Her nose was adorable and long lashes fanned out over her glowing eyes.

She was breathtaking.

The feeling of pure want coursed through every nerve in his body, acutely aware of the pressure of her against him. Her jeans tight around her hips and thighs before beginning to flare out and her top was snug fitting and complimented her wonderfully.

His grip on her waist tightened and he heard her breath hitch as she blinked up at him, her pupils blown wide and the smile that stretched his lips was anything but innocent.

Lando had her.

They barely made it into the back seat of her truck before his mouth was colliding with hers in a way that was almost violent as they fell back onto the seats. Lando settled himself between her legs, grinding against her in a way that was shattering his sanity second by second.

Her nails raked up from his neck and into his hair, a groan escaping him and being swallowed up by her mouth. She tasted sweet and had the faint taste of whiskey on her tongue, utterly maddening and he would never get enough of it.

“Take this damn thing off,” she managed to say between bites and kisses, tugging impatiently at his hoodie.

He smiled into the kiss, his hands blindly taking hold of the hem of the fabric before breaking away for a moment to rip it over his head. The truck was a bit cramped but he’d make it work, his mind was consumed by her at the moment and he wanted this to last for an eternity.

Her nails dragged down his body, letting out a content sigh as she took in the sight of his tanned skin and muscle, her fingers hooking into the belt loops of his trousers and the way she looked up at him would’ve been enough to send him over the edge. The sight was heavenly and the innocent look to her in that moment as her brown hair fanned out around her like a nimbus was devastating.

Lando reached forward and took hold of her cowboy hat that had gotten knocked off and placed it on his head, sending her a wink.

When a mewling sound left the back of her throat he raised a brow at her and he felt his cock get impossibly harder. Lando smiled down at her knowingly as he began to undo his belt. “Is this really doing it for you, darling?”

Her eyes nearly looked black with desire as her gaze trailed up from what his hands were doing to his face. “You have no fucking idea.”

He tugged his belt off and tossed it to the side, but before he worked on undressing himself further his fingers danced out and began undoing each button of her too tight shirt. Her breasts had already been tugging at the seams so when he popped one open they practically spilled out for him. No bra and on display and the sound that left him felt primal.

Lando needed her. All of her. Everywhere and every second of the day. If he could have her the way he wanted as he pleased he even considered fucking her in the middle of the paddock if she let him.

His fingers trailed down further and made easy work of her belt and zipper before he leaned back and took hold of each of her legs to rest them on his shoulders. “Lift up for me, baby.”

She didn’t hesitate as she lifted her hips for him and the immediate submissiveness made his mind melt into a puddle of pure desire. He tugged her boots off and then her jeans, and when the sight of her lacy white underwear graced his vision he suddenly wished they would’ve had the patience to get to the hotel.

“Fuck, I bet you taste incredible.”

But there was simply no room. He half debated on saying fuck it and bring her to the bed of the truck so he could ruin her in every way he was dreaming about, but that would probably lead to an arrest and a very unhappy meeting with the team and stewards.

“Please.” Her tone was needy, desperate even as she lifted her hips to him in an attempt to get her closer. There was already a damp spot appearing and Lando wanted to take her away and keep her to himself for the rest of his life.

“Where have you been all my life?” He sighed, his fingers dancing down her thighs and delighting in the way she trembled against his touch. “Tell me what you need.”

She bit her lip so hard he thought it might bleed and his hands dug into the soft flesh of her thighs, earning himself a moan from the back of her throat. “Use your words, baby. I need to hear you.”

“Fuck me, please.” She yanked his hips flush against hers by his belt loops. “And please lord, keep that hat on.”

His grin was wicked as he leaned down to capture her lips again, open mouthed and sloppy. His tongue dancing against hers and exploring, teeth clinking together as he pulled himself out from his trousers and used his other hand to tug her underwear to the side.

Lando never skipped foreplay but he was desperate and so was she. Not to mention she was practically dripping already and when the tip of his cock rubbed against her entrance and clit he shuddered as she let out a gasp, her nails digging into his back.

“You’re so fucking wet for me, darling.”

“Please,” she choked out, pulling him even closer by the back of his neck and kissing him.

When Lando sank into her till his hips were flush against hers he knew he finally found salvation. Purpose is what it felt like. The missing part of his life that he hadn’t even been aware of but now made him whole. He groaned into her mouth, matching her moan.

She was so warm and tight, the muscles of her cunt clenching around him. “You take me so well,” he ground out as he pulled his hips back and watched as he sunk back into her pussy slowly. The sight was other worldly. He wanted to film it but he was now determined that this would not be the last time he had his way with her.

She grinded her hips against him, matching his agonizingly slow rhythm and trying to get more. More satisfaction and he laughed at her desperation before burying his face in her neck, sucking and biting as he continued the slow pace.

“Lando, harder.” She gasped out, clutching at his shoulder with one hand while her other twined in the curly hair at the nape of his neck that was peaking out from under the cowboy hat.

He pulled back, teeth tugging at her skin before he released it with a pop. He got a little carried away, a hickey on her neck already forming but he couldn’t find himself to care as he got lost in the sensation of her cunt around his cock. She was perfectly made for him.

His hands pressed into the seat on either side of her head. “Open.” His tone was sharp and her lips parted immediately at the command. He smiled as he let saliva drip from his tongue and into her mouth, not giving her a moment to get a grip on reality before he then spit on her at the exact same time he pulled his hips back and snapped them hardly forward, burying his cock even deeper inside her.

She let out a cry, pleasure mixing with pain as he brushed against her cervix before pulling back and dragging against her g-spot, only to repeat the process over and over again. Bending her knees up so he could get a better angle, his thrusts brutal and being driven mad by the sound of his name being cried from her lips.

“So fucking gorgeous,” he said through heavy pants, watching her unravel beneath him and when his eyes caught sight on her naval the sound that left him didn’t even sound like himself.

Lando could see the outline of his cock as he fucked her, her smaller and skinnier size making it easier. “Oh fuck, you’re gonna kill me, baby. Look at you.” He pressed a hand gently to her stomach, feeling himself thrust in and out.

She bucked against him at the added sensation, tears streaming from her eyes and leaving pretty trails of mascara down her cheeks.

“Lando, oh my god—“ a scream left her as his other hand began rubbing tight circles into her clit. “I’m gonna—“

“Do you want to come on my cock, darling?”

She nodded, words lost on her and Lando knew he was on the verge of crashing as well. Feeling each of his nerves winding tightly. “Why don’t we come together, can you do that for me?”

“Yes, yes, yes. Please.”

“Such a good girl,” he praised, his tone soft. A complete antithesis to the almost violent pace of his cock slamming into her.

He switched the direction of his fingers on her clit. “Now, darling.”

Not a moment later she was convulsing against him, her cunt clamping down in his cock and Lando groaned out her name as he threw his head back, his cum filling her up nicely as the muscles in his stomach clenched. Sweat was coating both their bodies, all the windows completely fogged up and he felt delirious as he collapsed on top of her, settling comfortably between her hips and still buried inside of her.

He could both feel and hear her rapid heart beat, her warm breath coating the side of his neck as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.

“God, I love the English,” she muttered breathlessly against him and he laughed, loving the way she fit so snugly against him.

“And I’m in love with this form of southern hospitality.”

She snorted, the sound heartbreakingly adorable and he never wanted to let go of her. “All I said to you was howdy.”

He turned his face to hers, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “Say y’all.”

She raised a brow at him but complied. “Y’all?”

He groaned and kissed her through her laughter. “I’m done for.”

Eventually, and not with any thrill, he had to pull out of her and she shivered as he did so. Picking up his discarded hoodie from the floor, he gestured for her to sit up. “Lift your arms,” his voice was soft and his heart clenched as she smiled at him, doing as told.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him but he felt like he was struck by cupid’s arrow or something. Lando didn’t want this night to end and he wanted to see her tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. He wanted her by his side till he was rotting away in the earth.

He needed to thank Oscar next time he saw him.

Slipping the hoodie on her, he brushed the hair out of her eyes and dusted his thumbs over her cheekbones as he cradled her face. The air was quiet but not tense, a comfortable silence and he sighed slightly through his nose.

“What?” She asked, her brows furrowed and her smile timid. A bit shy despite the events that just unfolded.

“Would it be mental to ask you to come to the race this weekend?”

His eyes caught her tongue as it darted out to wet her lips, which were slowly forming into a grin. “I would love to, but I don’t know anything about it.”

He shrugged, pulling her in gently by hooking a finger into the collar of his hoodie she was wearing. “Just cheer for car number four and I’ll be on top of the world.”

She bit her lip, eyes searching his before she nodded. “Okay, but I want to do something for you.”

“You don’t need to—“

“It’ll be fun.” She reached her hands up and straightened the cowboy hat on his head. “Besides I haven’t seen enough of you dressed like this yet.”

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, youruser, oscarpiastri and 307,284 others

landonorris am i doing this right?

photo creds and tour of austin courtesy of youruser

*tap to load more comments*

userone: THIS IS EVERYTHING

youruser: you are definitely doing this right

landonorris: taught by the best

oscarpiastri: i’m still waiting on a thank you

landonorris: shut up

usertwo: i need to know the tea

userthree: AND WHOS THE GIRL???

f1wags

liked by 56,029 others

f1wags oh? who’s this? potentially a new wag spotted in the paddock this weekend at the usgp and rooting for lando norris!! some sources say they were seen together afterward, but nothing is set in stone yet! pictured is; youruser

*tap to load more comments*

userone: OH MY GOD THEY WOULD LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER

usertwo: right?? i hope it’s true

userthree: lando dating a cowgirl is not something i knew i needed

userfour: ew? really? not an american LMAO

userfive: she’s literally stunning what do you mean

usersix: the way she was screaming and cheering for him has me SOBBING she already seems so supportive

userseven: everyone needs to chill we don’t even know if they’re together, just because they follow one another doesn’t mean anything

usereight: you must be fun at parties

youruser

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lilyzneimer, iamrebeccad and 67, 892 others

youruser south side of heaven

*tap to load more comments*

userone: PLS TELL ME THATS LANDO

usertwo: oh my god?? all the wags liking it???

userthree: CHAT PLS I NEED HER AND LANDO TO BE REAL

userfour: he’s been seen in texas NUMEROUS times over the break istg i think they are dating

landonorris and youruser

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 702,299 others

landonorris happy birthday pretty girl

*tap to load more comments*

userone: oh. my. GOD

usertwo: I KNEW IT

carlossainz55: the black and white made me think she had passed

youruser: i thought i missed my own funeral

landonorris: i hate you both

userthree: IM LOSING MY MIND WKSKSJW

userfour: he looks so happy IM SOBBING

taglist: @theonottsbxtch @fortunapre @ashbone @c8lap1nto @taasgirl @stopeatread @dying-inside-but-its-classy

[somnoir]

Bats and Phantoms - Part 4

Part 3 | Masterpost

Damian and Specter

Many strange things have been happening lately. First, it was Todd suddenly becoming obsessed with a scholarship student of Gotham U. Damian had witnessed the disgusting display of infatuation from his elder brother whenever he stalked the young man. Something had happened and it surely involved the death of the joker.

Second, it was Richard who was utterly besotted with a mysterious meta that went by the name Wraith. They had found mentions of him, wherein some heroes commented on how he had helped them with issues that would have them contact the JLD.

Third was Cassandra who had been the one to meet the strange redheaded girl who shot the Scarecrow with an unknown weapon in the form of a gun. She was right to be wary but Cassandra, like their brothers, was actively seeking this girl out. (She was no longer in Gotham from what he understood.)

But nevermind that. For all he was an Al Ghul, he was still a Wayne. He was Damian Wayne at the moment, not Robin. So getting kidnapped was... Well, he cannot understand how Drake deals with this. He recalls the number of times Todd has had to save Drake from mediocre kidnappers who needed to be taught a lesson on how to kidnap people.

But his captors seemed to be slightly better than that of Drake's. He can hear his father telling him not to bite any of them. They were foolish oafs that pressed the barrel of a gun against the side of his head. Damian glared, snarling at the man who seemed startled that the youngest of the Wayne's could react in such a way.

Before he could inact his plan, Damian caught sight of the strangest thing. There was a hand passing through the wall, waving right at him. The hand pointed to the ceiling and Damian hesitated to look up. He stared, nothing happened, and then he saw it.

A girl passed through the ceilings, wispy white hair and Lazarus green eyes boring into his soal. She smiled, pressing a finger to her lips and all he can do is nod.

She floats down, lingering just behind his captors and moving left and right so she wouldn't be seen. A mischievous grin spread across her face before she disappeared and then reappeared in front of the men.

"B̶̢̯̮͙̳̫̯̜̠͎̟͔̱̺̦͎̓̃̑͑̄̐̈́͋̐̅̽̿́͋̆͗͊̾̐̊̂̋̑̎̈́̐̄̾̈̇̽̄̂̇͜͜͝͠͝͝͝Ơ̷̧̨̛̛̳͎̜̪͎͚͓̱̜͔͈̜͇̳̬̼̯̦̽͛̇̇̈́̀̄́̃̏͊̓̃̌̀̏͋̌́̂̕̚͠͠ͅͅͅO̵̡̜̖̭͕̟̞̼̐̎̐͛̍̊͛͂̊́̓̂͆̍̾͊̾̈̄̿͑̾̊̎́́̐̂̈̾̿̿̈́̉̇̈́̈̍̚͘̕̚̕͝͝͝͝͝͠!"

The noise she made startled the man, making them drop theirs guns before she directed the most beautiful uppercut he has ever seen. Damian was in utter awe as she mocked his captors, flying around them and giggling as they were led in circles until they were tripping over their own feet.

"Woops. Kidnapping people is bad, y'know. Don't do it." She scolded, taking their guns and throwing it against the wall. "Skedaddle!"

The men—cowards—ran like hell and he was left with the girl. Damian froze when she turned towards him, before she's hurriedly untying him from the ropes and peering at him with a curious look.

"Hello there, I'm Specter." She introduced, offering her hand to him.

Damian accepted, feeling her cold skin through her gloves. "Damian Wayne. Thank you for saving me, Miss Specter." Even though he clearly didn't needed it.

The way she spoke and acted reminded her of Grayson—loosely.

"All in a day's work!" Specter huffed, looking utterly proud with herself before she's dragging Damian out the warehouse. "Okay, so. Since you're safe and all... I need a bit of help. See, I saved some kittens on the way here and I can't keep them since I ain't from Gotham. But since you're a Wayne and all, would you mind?"

She spoke fast, almost without breathing, before she's rushing away and bringing back a box of kittens. Three to be exact.

Damian stares, and stares, and then looks at Specter strangely.

"Please?" She pouted, pushing the box towards him. Damian's doesn't even hesitate to take it, sighing and shaking his head in exasperation.

"Thank you! Oh, I've already names them. This one is Johannes, this one is Galileo, and this one is Henrietta. Please take care of them. I have to go now!" Specter bid her farewell, petting the fussy kittens before she flashed Damian a toothy-fangy smile.

She vanished soon after, leaving him to contemplate it she was even real in the first place.

Elle had only wanted to visit her brother but when she saw a bunch of men dragging an unconscious boy into a warehouse, she just had to help. Jazz taught her better than to abandon people in need. She had to set down the box of kittens she had found in a corner close to the warehouse, before rings of light appeared over her body and everything became inverted.

The boy was familiar—maybe a celebrity since he was getting kidnapped. He'd have to search him up later.

It wasn't hard saving him, the kidnappers were easily spooked. When the men ran, she stuck her tongue out and blew raspberries at the cowards before turning to the boy. He had green eyes—natural ones unlike hers and Danny's that were only present in their ghost forme.

"Hello there, I'm Specter." The Hero name Jazz had helped her with rolled of her tongue so easily. It made her brighten up in seconds as she offered her hand to the boy.

"Damian Wayne."

Ah, so he was a Wayne! Danny mentioned them to her. Speaking of Danny, he really needed to check up on him.

She remembered the kittens pretty quickly, and since Damian was a Wayne, he'd have more space for them than Danny. So she grabbed the kittens, all named after scientists that were related to astronomy, and she entrusted the cute things to him.

Template: WHERE ARE YOU????

The superior copy: I just saved a Wayne

The superior copy: Do you know Damian Wayne??

Template: The youngest

The superior copy: I just gave the kittens I found!

The superior copy: On my way tho

She was going to miss Johaness, Galileo, and Henrietta, even if she only had them for a brief moment. Maybe she'll get to meet them again in the future.

(Later on, Damian lurks in the shadows, waiting for Dick to finally leave the batcomputer alone so he can stalkinvestigate his saviour.)

Part 5 | Masterpost

[enemiestolovershoe]

Best Birthday Ever

Chris Sturniolo x bsf!reader

Summary: Y/N and Chris deepen their friendship turning his 21st birthday into an unforgettable night.

Warnings: SMUT 18+, use of y/n, oral (m receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it up pls), friends to lovers, virgin!chris, loosing virginity

Words: 3.8k

Disclaimer: While the characters in this story are inspired by real people, the events and interactions are purely fictional and not reflective of reality.

The very first day of high school felt like an overwhelming blur of unfamiliar faces and nerves. But one thing stood out crystal clear—being assigned to sit next to Chris Sturniolo. It was almost comical how fast you hit it off. Within minutes, your shared sarcastic jokes and mutual confusion about the teacher's seating chart made it seem like you’d known each other for years. That was the beginning of everything.

Soon after, Chris introduced you to his brothers, Matt and Nick, who were his triplets. Meeting them felt like being absorbed into an entirely new world—a chaotic, hilarious, and ridiculously fun one. From that point on, the four of you became inseparable. You were a unit, a team. Movie nights, impromptu late-night drives, junk food binges—you name it, you did it together.

But something shifted when you were around 19. Out of nowhere, your feelings for Chris transformed. What used to be simple friendship became something deeper, something that scared the hell out of you. It hit you like a brick, sudden and unrelenting. Yet, you did your best to suppress it. There was no way you’d risk your friendship for feelings he likely didn’t share. What you didn’t know, though, was that Chris felt the exact same way. He’d been quietly falling for you but chose to hide it, too terrified of losing what you two had.

Then you got a boyfriend. It wasn’t anything serious at first, but things escalated quickly, and before long, you’d lost your virginity to him. Chris’s reaction was colder than you expected, especially when it came to your boyfriend. He was distant, sharp even, whenever the subject came up, though he never fully explained why. Things unraveled when you caught your boyfriend cheating. Devastated, you went straight to the Sturniolo house. Chris was the one who stayed up with you all night, listening to your sobs and holding you as you cried. He never let you go until you felt whole again. Even now, years later, he was still there for you.

After that heartbreak, you never dated again. And now, two years later, everything felt like it had gone full circle. You and the Sturniolos were as close as ever.

At 21, you were the oldest of the group, since the triplets were still 20—though their 21st birthday was only hours away. That’s why you were currently at their house, getting ready for a celebration with their closest friends.

Arriving a bit earlier than the others, you’d decided to get ready with Nick. He always had the best taste in fashion, and you trusted him more than anyone else when it came to looking your best.

“Y/N!” Matt shouted from the doorway, wrapping you in a bear-crushing hug the second you stepped inside. Nick quickly followed suit, pulling you into his arms with a grin. But it was Chris who hugged you the tightest. You noticed how his hands lingered for just a second too long before he finally let you go.

“Geez, Chris, you trying to crush her ribs or something?” Matt teased, smirking knowingly at his brother. Chris shot him a glare, cheeks tinged pink, and mumbled something about “just saying hi.”

Upstairs, you and Nick dove into picking an outfit. “No offense, but that top screams ‘I gave up,’” Nick said, holding up a much more stylish option.

“Excuse me? This top is a classic,” you argued, though you ultimately took his advice.

As you were finishing up your makeup, the door to Nick’s room burst open. Chris stood there, holding a can of Pepsi, his expression caught between nerves and awe. “Uh... I figured you might want something to drink,” he stammered, extending the soda to you.

You couldn’t help but laugh at how flustered he seemed. “Thanks, Chris.”

Nick’s jaw practically dropped. “Wait, hold up—did Chris just willingly share one of his Pepsis? Are we in an alternate universe?”

Chris rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool. “It’s just a drink, Nick. Relax.”

“Sure, just a drink,” Nick teased, winking at you. Chris muttered something under his breath before making a quick exit.

When you finally made your way downstairs, the party was already in full swing. The living room was packed with friends, music thumped through the speakers, and the smell of pizza filled the air. Everyone was laughing, chatting, and enjoying themselves.

It wasn’t long before someone suggested a game of Truth or Dare. The group eagerly circled up, the energy buzzing with anticipation. At first, the questions were lighthearted—“What’s your most embarrassing moment?” or “I dare you to shotgun a beer.” But as the night went on, things took a more daring turn.

One girl turned to you with a mischievous grin. “Y/N, have you ever faked an orgasm?”

The room went silent, all eyes on you. You felt your body tense, memories of your ex flashing through your mind. Chris, who had been leaning against the wall next to you, straightened up, his jaw tightening.

“Yeah,” you admitted quietly, forcing a small smile. “I have.”

The group laughed, some people making jokes, but you could feel Chris’s eyes on you. His gaze wasn’t teasing or curious—it was protective, concerned.

Your turn came, and you directed a question at one of the guests, trying to shift the attention off yourself. After a few more rounds, the attention shifted to Chris.

“Truth or dare, Chris?” one of the guys asked.

Chris hesitated. “Uh... truth.”

The guy smirked, clearly looking to stir up some drama. “When was the last time you got laid?”

The question hung in the air, heavier than any of the others. Chris froze, the usual playful energy in his demeanor completely gone. His brothers exchanged glances, clearly taken aback, and you noticed how he clenched his fists at his sides.

“You okay, Chris?” you asked softly, leaning in just enough so only he could hear.

He swallowed hard, avoiding your gaze. “Yeah... I’m fine.” But his voice betrayed him—it was shaky, uncertain.

Chris hesitated, the silence in the room stretching unbearably before he finally answered, forcing a smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve never gotten laid. Next question.”

The room fell completely silent. A ripple of shock passed through the circle, and even his brothers exchanged surprised glances. Chris’s gaze flickered to the floor, his usual confidence stripped away in an instant.

Without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand gently on his arm, offering silent reassurance. When he glanced at you, your sweet, supportive smile met his uncertain eyes. Slowly, his tense shoulders relaxed, and he managed to return the faintest smile, gratitude shining through his vulnerability.

The moment passed, and the group awkwardly shifted back to drinking, chatting, and carrying on as if nothing had happened. You stuck around for a while, laughing with Matt and Nick as the party carried on, but your eyes kept darting around the room. Chris had vanished.

After a few minutes of scanning the crowd and not spotting him, you excused yourself. “I’ll be right back,” you said to Matt and Nick, who were too deep in conversation to notice the concern lacing your tone.

You made your way upstairs, stopping in front of Chris’s door. Knocking softly, you called out, “It’s me. Are you in there, Chris?”

A few seconds later, the door creaked open, revealing Chris standing there with red, puffy eyes. His usual playful energy was completely gone. He looked vulnerable, broken.

“Chris…” you said softly, your heart sinking at the sight of him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he gently grabbed your hand and pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you. He took a deep, shaky breath, as if trying to gather his thoughts, but the moment he spoke, it all came tumbling out.

“I’m so fucking embarrassed, Y/N,” he blurted, his voice cracking. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing the room as he continued. “Everybody knows now. They know I’m a virgin. It’s so fucking humiliating. I wanted to lie, I really did, but I just couldn’t. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t.”

Your chest ached at the raw frustration and shame in his voice. Without hesitation, you crossed the room and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a hug. His hands hovered awkwardly for a moment before he melted into your embrace, clinging to you like a lifeline.

“Chris, listen to me,” you said gently, your voice firm yet comforting. “There is nothing—absolutely nothing—you need to be embarrassed about. You haven’t had sex yet. So what? That doesn’t change who you are. Anyone who thinks differently can shut the fuck up, because they don’t know you the way I do.”

He didn’t say anything, but you could feel the tension in his body slowly fading. You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your hands coming up to cup his face. Your thumbs brushed away the lingering tears on his cheeks as you smiled softly at him.

“You’re still you, Chris,” you continued. “Whether you’ve had sex or not doesn’t change that.”

Chris let out a shaky laugh, though the sadness in his eyes hadn’t completely disappeared. “I just feel like… I don’t know, like I’m behind everyone else. I’m 21, for God’s sake.”

“Not yet,” you teased, trying to lighten the mood. “You’ve still got, what? Half an hour?”

That earned a real laugh from him, though it was tinged with melancholy. “Doesn’t make a difference,” he muttered. “It’s not like I’m going to lose it in the next hour.”

You tilted your head, watching him carefully. “What if you do?”

Chris’s brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes locking onto yours. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” You took a deep breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “What if I take your virginity?”

Chris blinked, stunned into silence. He searched your face, trying to figure out if you were joking. “Y/N, stop joking, please. This is serious.”

“I’m not joking, Chris,” you said softly, your voice steady.

His breath hitched. “You—you would do that for me?”

“I’d do anything for you, Chris,” you said, a soft smile spreading across your lips.

For a moment, he just stared at you, his emotions flickering across his face—confusion, disbelief, and something deeper. Then, slowly, as if testing the waters, he leaned in. His lips brushed against yours, tentative and soft.

It was the first time Chris had ever kissed you, and it was everything.

The kiss started soft, like a gentle spark igniting between the two of you, but it quickly grew more heated. Chris’s hands found your waist as you leaned into him, his grip tightening with every passing second. You pushed him back with a playful nudge, and he stumbled onto his bed, his laughter mixing with the sound of the mattress creaking beneath him. Before he could say a word, you climbed onto him, straddling his lap and pulling him up into another deep kiss.

His breath hitched as your core pressed against him, and you could feel him hardening beneath you. The slight friction caused a soft whimper to escape both of you, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. You began moving your hips in slow, deliberate motions, eliciting quiet moans from Chris as he tilted his head back, his fingers digging into your thighs.

“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice breathy, almost pleading. You pulled back just enough to look at him, his cheeks flushed, his blue eyes wide and filled with nervous excitement.

“Relax,” you murmured, your lips brushing against his. Your fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt, tugging at it slightly. “This needs to come off.”

Chris blinked, his nervous smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, okay,” he said, his voice cracking slightly as he lifted his arms to help you pull his shirt off. The second his chest was bare, you couldn’t help but run your fingers down his torso, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your touch.

“You’re beautiful, Chris,” you said softly, the sincerity in your voice making him blush even harder.

He laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “You can’t just say stuff like that, Y/N. I’m trying to keep it together here.”

You grinned and leaned down, your lips brushing against his jawline. “Who said I want you to keep it together?”

His breath hitched again as your words sank in, and you guided his hands to the hem of your shirt. “You can undress me too, Chris. No need to be shy.”

His eyes met yours, wide with both excitement and hesitation. After a moment, he nodded, his fingers trembling slightly as he lifted your shirt over your head. The way his breath hitched again when he saw the black lace bra you were wearing made you smile.

“Wow…” he muttered under his breath, his eyes glued to you.

You chuckled, reaching for one of his hands. “You can touch me, Chris. It’s okay.”

He looked at you as if asking for reassurance, and when you nodded, he let you guide his hand to your chest. His fingers flexed hesitantly at first, but as he began kneading your breast through the fabric, his confidence grew. His other hand quickly joined, and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped your lips as he touched you.

“Does this… feel good?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Better than good,” you replied, leaning down to kiss his neck. Your lips left a trail of soft, open-mouthed kisses along his skin, and his whimpers were like music to your ears.

When his hands faltered slightly, you pulled back just enough to look at him. “You’re doing perfect, Chris.”

He smiled, his cheeks still flushed. “You’re… perfect.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you didn’t linger on them for long. Instead, you climbed off his lap, earning a small, disappointed sound from him, and began sliding your skirt down your legs. Now, standing before him in just your matching black lace underwear, you noticed how his eyes roamed over you, filled with awe and adoration.

“You’re staring,” you teased, though his gaze only made you feel more confident.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, though his eyes didn’t leave you. “I just… you’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

You stepped closer, kneeling between his legs as your hands reached for his belt. “You don’t have to be nervous, you know. It’s just me.”

“I’m not nervous,” he insisted, though the way his hands fidgeted gave him away.

You raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Liar.”

He laughed softly, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Maybe a little.”

You leaned into his touch, your voice soft. “We’ll take it slow, Chris. I promise.”

With that, you focused on unbuckling his belt, taking your time to open the button of his jeans and slide them down his legs. When you glanced up at him, his expression was one of pure anticipation.

“You sure you wanna do this, Chris?” you asked, your tone serious now. “It’s your first time, and I don’t want to make you feel pressured or… repeat the same mistakes I did.”

His hand reached for yours, squeezing it gently. “I’m 100% sure, Y/N. This will never be a mistake to me.”

The conviction in his voice made your chest tighten, and you nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.”

You slid his boxers down next, leaving him completely bare before you. Chris’s cheeks turned crimson, but he didn’t try to hide himself. Instead, he watched you with bated breath as you wrapped your hand around him, your touch gentle as you spread the precum along his length.

“Is this okay?” you asked, wanting to make sure he was comfortable.

“Yeah,” he breathed, his head falling back against the headboard. “It’s more than okay.”

You pumped him slowly at first, watching his reactions carefully. The way his chest rose and fell, the quiet moans spilling from his lips, it all made you want to give him more.

Leaning forward, you swirled your tongue around his tip, savoring the way his hips jerked slightly at the sensation. “Y/N…” he gasped, his hand finding its way into your hair as you began to take more of him into your mouth.

You worked him with a mix of your hand and mouth, listening to the sweet sounds he made. He was a mess beneath you, his moans growing louder and more desperate with every passing second.

“Y/N, I—” His voice broke as he tried to warn you he was close, but just as he was about to reach his peak, you pulled off him, leaving him breathless and whimpering.

Chris’s chest was heaving, his breath ragged as he lay beneath you, trying to compose himself. His cheeks were flushed, his lips slightly parted, and his eyes fluttered open to meet yours. “Why did you stop?” he asked, his voice breathless and laced with desperation.

You leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear as you whispered, “Because I don’t want you to cum yet. I want you to cum with me, pretty boy.”

Chris let out a strangled moan, his head falling back against the pillows as his eyes rolled back. “Fuck…” he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets tightly.

You smirked, loving how completely undone he was beneath you. Slowly, you stood up from your position, your movements deliberate and teasing. His dazed eyes followed you as you straightened, and you held his gaze while hooking your thumbs into the waistband of your panties.

Chris swallowed hard as you stripped them down your legs, his eyes drinking in every inch of you. His breathing grew even shakier as you stepped out of them and stood there, completely bare before him.

“God damn, you’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice reverent. His words were so sincere, so filled with awe, that your heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you, Chris,” you replied softly, your lips curving into a playful smile. You pointed toward the headboard. “Now, scoot over to the headboard for me.”

Chris blinked, as if snapping out of a trance, and quickly obeyed. “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a shy smile, moving back until his head was resting against the headboard, his long legs stretched out before him. His hands fidgeted in his lap, a mix of anticipation and nervous energy.

You crawled toward him, your movements slow and deliberate, and his wide-eyed gaze never left yours. As you settled back into his lap, straddling him once more, you placed your hands on his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath your palm.

Chris still couldn’t believe this was happening. The fact that you—his best friend, the girl he had been secretly in love with for years—were about to take his virginity felt almost surreal. He looked up at you, his eyes full of adoration and vulnerability.

“You okay?” you asked softly, brushing his messy hair back from his forehead.

“Yeah… I just…” He paused, his lips twitching into a small smile. “I still can’t believe this is real.”

You leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips. “It’s real, Chris. And it’s just us. Nobody else, nothing else matters right now.”

He nodded, his hands finding your hips again as you reached between your bodies, lining him up at your entrance. “Are you ready, Chris?” you asked, your voice gentle but filled with anticipation.

“Yes,” he breathed, his eyes locking with yours. “More than ready.”

With that, you sank down onto him slowly, letting him fill you inch by inch. A loud, unrestrained moan tore from Chris’s throat, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he tried to steady himself. You let out a shaky moan of your own, the feeling of him stretching you almost overwhelming.

“Chris,” you gasped, your voice trembling, “you’re so big…”

“Fuck,” Chris groaned, his head falling back against the headboard. “Don’t say that—I don’t want to cum yet.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, leaning forward to kiss him again. “You’re doing so good,” you whispered against his lips, your voice soft and reassuring. “Just breathe, okay?”

He nodded, his hands roaming up and down your sides as he tried to keep himself from completely losing control. You began to move, lifting your hips before sinking back down onto him, setting a slow and steady rhythm.

The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, soft moans and gasps escaping both of you. Chris’s eyes stayed locked on yours, his gaze full of so much love and admiration that it made your heart ache.

“You feel so good, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice shaking. “I… I don’t even have words for this.”

You smiled, cupping his cheek as you leaned in to kiss him again. “Just let yourself feel it, Chris. Don’t think—just feel.”

He let out a low groan, his hands moving to grip your waist as you began to pick up the pace. “Fuck, I love you, Y/N,” he mumbled, his words barely audible but unmistakable.

For a moment, you thought it might just be his pussy drunk mind talking, but the way he looked at you told you he meant every word. Your heart swelled, and without hesitation, you whispered back, “I love you too, Chris.”

His eyes widened for a split second before they softened, a beautiful smile spreading across his face despite the tension in his body.

“I’m so close, Y/N,” he admitted, his voice desperate.

“Me too,” you gasped, your movements becoming more erratic as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening.

The moment your climax hit, you cried out his name, your body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you. The feeling of you tightening around him was too much for Chris to handle, and with a loud moan, he followed you over the edge, spilling inside you as his entire body shuddered.

You both collapsed against each other, your foreheads touching as you tried to catch your breath. Chris’s arms wrapped around you, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go.

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with emotion.

“You don’t need to thank me,” you replied, brushing your fingers through his damp hair.

“I do,” he insisted, his eyes meeting yours. “And I meant what I said. I love you—I have for a while now.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you smiled. “I love you too, Chris. I always have.”

You leaned in, kissing him deeply, the moment filled with nothing but love and tenderness.

Suddenly, a loud banging on Chris’s door shattered the quiet.

“Wrap it up, Chris!” Matt’s voice boomed from the other side. “You missed the birthday countdown—we’re officially legal!”

You and Chris both froze before bursting into laughter, the tension from the moment dissolving into pure joy.

“Happy birthday, baby,” you said between giggles, leaning in to kiss him again.

Chris grinned, his cheeks still flushed. “Best birthday ever.”

Taglist: @sophand4n4 @courta13

[nostalgebraist]

I feel like I've had the same experience several times now: someone does a new translation of a non-English literary classic, and all the critics praise it to the moon, so I go and try to read it, and it's turns out it's just . . . bad? Like, really bad? And weirdly bad?

A while back, I wrote about the case of Pevear and Volokhonsky. Here's another example, which I encountered while doing background research for my novel Almost Nowhere.

----

One of my novel's major characters is a literary translator, famous for his rendition of the Persian epic poem Shahnameh ("Book of Kings").

To help me write this character, I tried to read the Shahnameh myself. I started out – where else? – with the translation that seemed to be the gold standard, and which was certainly the most critically lauded.

Namely, the 2006 translation by Dick Davis, in prose with occasional shifts into verse.

Here's how the Shahnameh begins, in Davis' translation:

What does the Persian poet say about the first man to seek the crown of world sovereignty? No one has any knowledge of those first days, unless he has heard tales passed down from father to son. This is what those tales tell: The first man to be king, and to establish the ceremonies associated with the crown and throne, was Kayumars. When he became lord of the world, he lived first in the mountains, where he established his throne, and he and his people dressed in leopard skins. It was he who first taught men about the preparation of food and clothing, which were new in the world at that time. Seated on his throne, as splendid as the sun, he reigned for thirty years. He was like a tall cypress tree topped by the full moon, and the royal farr shone from him. All the animals of the world, wild and tame alike, reverently paid homage to him, bowing down before his throne, and their obedience increased his glory and good fortune.

And here is the same opening, in the 1905 translation by Arthur and Edmond Warner (which I only discovered much later in the process of writing Almost Nowhere):

What saith the rustic bard? Who first designed To gain the crown of power among mankind? Who placed the diadem upon his brow? The record of those days hath perished now Unless one, having borne in memory Tales told by sire to son, declare to thee Who was the first to use the royal style And stood the head of all the mighty file. He who compiled the ancient legendary, And tales of paladins, saith Gaiúmart Invented crown and throne, and was a Sháh. This order, Grace, and lustre came to earth When Sol was dominant in Aries And shone so brightly that the world grew young. Its lord was Gaiúmart, who dwelt at first Upon a mountain; thence his throne and fortune Rose. He and all his troop wore leopard-skins, And under him the arts of life began, For food and dress were in their infancy. He reigned o'er all the earth for thirty years, In goodness like a sun upon the throne, And as a full moon o'er a lofty cypress So shone he from the seat of king of kings. The cattle and the divers beasts of prey Grew tame before him; men stood not erect Before his throne but bent, as though in prayer, Awed by the splendour of his high estate, And thence received their Faith.

Now, I can't speak at all about the source text. I have no idea how faithful or unfaithful these two translations are, and in what ways, in which places.

Still, though. I mean like, come on.

This is an epic poem about ancient kings and larger-than-life heroes.

This is a national epic, half myth and half history, narrating the proud folkloric lineage claimed by a real-world empire.

There is a way that such things are supposed to sound, in English. And it sure as hell isn't this:

What does the Persian poet say about the first man to seek the crown of world sovereignty?

Excuse me? That's your opening line? I thought I was reading a poem, here, not taking a fucking AP World Literature exam!

----

Postscript

Some of the critical praise for the Davis translation, quoted on the back cover of my copy (emphasis mine):

"A poet himself, Davis brings to his translation a nuanced awareness of Ferdowsi's subtle rhythms and cadences. His "Shahnameh" is rendered in an exquisite blend of poetry and prose, with none of the antiquated flourishes that so often mar translations of epic poetry." (Reza Aslan, The New York Times Book Review) "Thanks to Davis's magnificent translation, Ferdowsi and the Shahnameh live again in English.” (Michael Dirda, Washington Post) "A magnificent accomplishment . . . [Davis’s translation] is not only the fullest representation of Ferdowsi’s masterpiece in English but the best." (The New York Sun)

[helluvapoison]

Nice To Eat You

[ii]

The Vees x Cannibal!Reader

warnings: drugs, suggestive, rosie slander, dark themes, violence, security shenanigans and, hello, cannibalism

heads up: if you didn’t know, the people of cannibal town are hellborn; born in hell, never lived on earth, never sinned! their life spans are unknown(?) but seem to age as a human would, unlike other demons

Cannibal town has been off limits to The Vees, courtesy of Vox, ever since the incident with you know who. Meeting you was a suspicious surprise for them. You were kicked out of said town by Rosie for giving cannibals a bad name. Can you fucking believe the irony!?

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

˚✧₊⁎ Vox ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Suspicious might be an understatement

• For the longest time, Vox is unnerved by you for every other reason than your appetite. Anyone associated with Rosie is an adversary by proxy. If you take Alastor out of the picture, Rosie is still an Overlord and all Overlords will inevitably crumble to The Vees– even if they don’t know it yet

• There’s an expression for that though, isn’t there? Keep your enemies close. That’s exactly how Vox went about dealing with you

• Gives you a job as his security guard. Hell knows he needs one, what with the price of fame and all, those dirty fucking sinners that try and touch him wherever he goes

• It’s a slow development because neither of you initiate conversation

• Vox is beyond used to the rotating door of demons in and out of his life. He abandons the names of anyone that isn’t you, Velvette or Valentino (Angel Dust and Alastor he can’t forget against his will)

• Becoming attached to you while simultaneously waiting for the other shoe to drop is fucking awful. It feels it like a bug in his system, annoys him to the point his screen starts glitching one day

“Just what the fuck are you up to!? I know you’re with Rosie–”

You knew, on some level, Vox didn’t trust you all the way but it didn’t bother you because he hardly seems to trust anyone. So you cut him off with a mix of a snort and a scoff,

“Rosie? Rosie’s a cunt. She gave me the boot years ago, haven't seen her since.”

Involuntarily, he begins to smile, “Years, huh?”

• Trust is another slow endeavor. Now that Vox doubts your motives slightly less than before, he can silently appreciate the fact you do a damn good job of keeping demons away from him. Bonus: if you happen to take a chunk out of them for shits and giggles, blood never touches his pristine self

• “I believe I owe you an apology,”

“Am I going to get one?”

• In a way, sure, but you’ll be sorely disappointed if you thought it was with words. He invites you to dinner. From that moment until you arrive at the restaurant, he’s reveling in the constant state of shock you seem to be in

• Your eyebrows jump when the waiter nervously lifts the lid from your plate and reveals ribs. Real, demon ribs

“Surprised?” Vox asks rather smugly

“Somewhat,” You return his sly smirk, “Most can’t stomach my… indulgences.”

“I don’t have a stomach. I think I’ll be just fine.”

˚✧₊⁎ Velvette ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Vel doesn’t give two steaming shits about Rosie or her backwards, unflattering town so long as it doesn’t interfere with her enterprise. Vox’s grudges are his own. If The Vees got hellbent and demented over each other’s EOTD (Enemy Of The Day) nothing would get done!

• During a pathetic comment war on the her social, a few threats became too detailed for Vox’s liking

• A cannibal wasn’t his first choice– or second, or third– but you’d certainly scare off anyone trying to hurt his business partner!

• Velvette’s far from worried about being lunch when she meets you.

• “You’re my–? No. Absolutely not! I can’t be seen with this.” She gestures to all of you

“You’re not exactly making me drool either,” You mutter under your breath

• Judging by the looks of her partners’ faces, stunning Velvette to silence was impossible. Key word: was

• It didn’t last long and hasn’t stopped since

• She pulled out every trick in the book to get you to quit. She gave you a uniform to wear during your shifts, tossed fabrics at you until you turned into a living clothes rack, forced you to hold her phone during her live streams but criticized and berated the way you did

• For fucks sake, she even screamed at Vox to let her fire you!

• You didn’t need her to like you and that was as obvious as it was infuriating. She was Velvette! Everyone loved her! Having you around was like a black eye; literally bruising her ego and bad for business

• Or so she thought

• She made you stand in the shadows of her studio so you wouldn’t frighten anyone and ruin photoshoots with your “freaky face” she so eloquently put it.

• Velvette was mid fashion crisis, yelling at Joanne for the gazillionth time, when you approached from behind

“I’m taking my lunch.”

“Fucking fantastic! Here, have Joanne since she insists on being fucking useless!”

Playing along, you let a guttural growl rip from your throat, making Joanne jump high in the air.

She squeaked and shook her head vigorously, holding her hands in surrender, “I-I’ll be better, I swear!”

• Her candy cane eyes widened in delighted surprise. How had she been so blind to your potential usefulness!?

• Velvette could get high off the new game she created with you. It was like having a scary guard dog– only better dressed to aesthetics. Paparazzi didn’t dare touch her now, standing at a respectable distance that made her more unattainable and desirable than before

• Her attitude change makes her like-able to you too, she’s heaps more pleasant to be around now. You don’t mind doing the extra stuff that wasn’t in your contract like being a dress up doll, dealing with the pet names or escorting her to events. She knows and takes advantage of this instead of saying how she feels

• “You’re my arm candy now, dollface! You go where I go.”

“I hardly think I qualify as arm candy,” You mumble to her, overtly aware of how she holds you close to her

“If you’re fishing for compliments, fuck off to another pond. I don’t waste my free time with uggos,” She says seriously, abruptly smiling as a camera flashes in her direction, “Now get ready. Fans have been dying to get a picture with me lately and if anyone smudges this dress with their dirty fucking fingers, I want you to bite them off!”

“Anyone that touches you won’t have hands tomorrow,” You promise

• You swear she shivers upon hearing that

˚✧₊⁎ Valentino ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• The easiest by far to get along with. In a mortifying way

• Val is fairly accepting of all Hell’s creatures. It’s typically followed up by something sexual but, hey, you’re not in a position to complain, not when no one else in Hell would willingly sign up to work with a cannibal. Especially one outside the confines of Rosie’s civil town

• Rosie’s loss is his gain

• You would be lying if you said you weren’t expecting him to turn horror-struck but he barely blinks when you explain what you did to get exiled. Your savage methods intrigue him, a plethora of potentials just waiting to be explored. In fact, he goes a step further to praise you for being different

• “Hell would be deathly boring if everyone thought the same way, darling. That’s what makes you so… alluring.” He rolled his tongue with the last word, dragging it out and making it ring in your ears

• You’d been called many things in your afterlife, but never that

• You feel rather useless at the moth’s side. You were supposed to be protecting him but he could take care of himself just fine. Val was about the tallest in every room (if not the tallest) with guns hidden under his coat that he never used

• Later you’d understand he only reached for them as a last resort, when his head was unclouded by blood lust

• If you ever voiced your complaints, he’d be quick to reassure you that you make him look good. What powerful Overlord doesn’t have bodyguards? (Do. Not. Answer.)

• However the day does come when you prove your services have merit. On set of all places! A coked up Hellhound didn’t take kindly to Val’s directions, sending a demon wielding a boom mic flying towards him

• Valentino dodged the demon with ease, whipping around and aiming his pistol to put the dog down. Instead he saw you pushing the mutt’s face into the ground, his arm pinned at an angle. Your sharp teeth were bared at his throat, drool dampening his fur

• But you made no moves without Valentino’s say-so

• There’s a lot he could say about the scenario you provided him and how it made him feel– but he only calls your name, beckoning you back to his side

• Where you belong

• “You’re lucky I don’t like hair in my food,” You growl in the Hellhound’s ear before following after Val

• Valentino may be a mastermind of porn and sex but he knows the real way to a demon’s heart, it’s is the universal love language

• Unbothered by blood, he’ll sit pretty and poised on his loveseat while you tear into the meal he provided you. A thanks for a job well done

• “You’ll never go hungry now that you’re with me, monstruo,” The pet name is dripping with adoration, “I won’t waste you like that bitch did. Look at you, you’re already so special.”

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ i lost the request that went to this but i hope it reaches them. cannibal!reader got that rizz, huh?