#The chips they rolled out fast and pretty early

[ailurinae]

We do have both mobile devices with pin entry, and tap ones, but both are at least somewhat recent. And the ones that use the contact chip tend to get dirty/damaged (not sure of details), and don't work well, at which point you need to fall back on the magnetic stripe. The tap ones are even newer and thus rarer, but at least are more reliable than the contact ones. And places like NYC and SV are more likely to have newer ones, backwaters in the western interior are less likely. Also varies by type and age of business… I rarely went to bars even before the pandemic, so I have no clue what is common now. Last time I did go to a bar was probably over 5 years ago in Seattle, and they held onto your card… they might have had a Square tap reader though? Hard to recall.

Right Americans, I need an explanation. What on Earth are these kids doing wrong? Surely this is normal?

[onsunnyside]

here's one of the prompts from this ask: presenting... camboy!Rafe

After yet another falling out with Ward, Rafe had to find some other way to make quick cash. He didn't expect to keep this virtual career going for over a year, growing to love the flattery and attention as much as his real-life hookups.

You're Sarah's best friend, a fellow kook-turned-pogue, and spent more time at the Cameron house than your own. This summer, Rafe travels back home from college and gets a little careless, so used to his private dorm where he didn't need to stifle any moans or dirty talk.

It's a late night by the pool, music plays from Kie's speaker and empty beer bottles litter the patio. John B and Sarah are cuddled by the stairs, chatting with Pope as JJ does his umpteenth cannonball, splashing you and Kie as you lounge on floaties.

Unfortunately, it's your turn to get more snacks and drinks. You begrudgingly trek through the big house, already a little inebriated. You gather chips, popcorn and beer on the shiny island counter before a loud noise catches your attention. Curiosity gets the better of you and you follow those strange noises and find yourself in front of Ward's office, the door just barely cracked open.

Rafe sits in his father's chair, pristine white shirt unbuttoned with a light sheen of sweat on his chest. Your eyes drift to his arm, the sleeves rolled up and muscles tense under his tanned skin. He murmurs something under his breath and you creep closer, trying to make out his words.

"Hm, is that so? You think you deserve my cock?" His pink lips stretch into a smug smirk, "you're gonna have to bend over my desk and show me where you want it."

The angle blocks his lower half, but you don't need to see it to know what he's doing—the jerking motions of his arm, the hitches in his breaths, and his blue gaze locked on the screen before him.

"If you beg real nice, I'll let you taste my cum. Shoot my load on your pretty face and claim you, maybe I'll even take a few pictures." Rafe groans heavily, his arm speeding up, "is that want you want? You wanna be daddy's little cumrag?"

For the next few days, you avoid him like the plague, but that's hard to do when it's his damn house. Every time he comes around, you slip away, muttering an excuse about going home or doing an errand. Sarah is the only one partly concerned since you were never at Rafe's throat like the rest of the Pogues.

Your luck had to run out at some point: he corners you at a kegger, you should've known he'd show up at the Boneyard with the rest of his friends.

"I've been back for a month and you haven't said more than three words to me."

You grip the solo cup tightly, nervously peering up at him, "hi, Rafe, how are you?"

He laughs, shaking his head. His new buzzcut makes him appear more rugged and confident. Ugh, he never used to make you weak in the knees, but now you're having trouble standing upright—hopefully, it's just the alcohol.

"I'd be better if you didn't look at me like I'm covered in blood. C'mon, you're Sarah's only friend that I can actually tolerate." He rolls his eyes, "don't tell me they turned you against me in a couple of months?"

me thinks... one thing leads to another and you're making out against his truck, your dress hiked up to your thighs as he hooks your knees around his hips. You pull away for a breath and his hand wraps around your throat, his wet lips trailing down to your jaw: "Is it bad that I want to get caught right now just to see the look on JJ's face?"

At the mention of your friends, you snap out of it and shove him away. Guilty and ashamed, you can't imagine what Sarah would think about you hooking up with her brother, and the rest of the Pogues definitely wouldn't be happy about it either.

You leave the party early and once again, avoid Rafe, going as far as faking sick when Sarah invites you over.

fast forward to the filthy stuff: don't even get me started on you starring in his cam shows. Rafe is all too eager to show his viewers every inch of you, how pretty you moan, how you melt with just the slighest of touches.

He's such a tease: he grinds his hard cock along your clothed cunt, showing his fans just how needy you get, "look at that, she's soaking her panties," he chuckles, reading the rush of comments on the laptop screen, "Yeah, she's gonna ruin them tonight—maybe we'll have a little fun and send them to the highest tipper. How's that sound, baby? You want a stranger owning your messy panties?"

He's obsessed with cum shots: he’ll cum on your pretty, tear-stained face or one of your used holes, "open wider for daddy." And of course, you obey, blinking up at him with his seed on your cheeks and lips. He leans down and spits, spreading his saliva and cum on your tongue, "such a good girl, you'd let me do anything to you, hm? You wanna show our fans how pretty you look right now?"

this au makes me very interested in Rafe's and reader's exhibitionist adventures 😳 ofc fooling around at the country club, mayhaps golf cart shenanigans, and definitely riding him in his truck... this will be a full fic 😌 or a collection of drabbles !! we'll see hehe

[draco-after-dark]

Dory Verse - Aftermath

small spoiler for the Feral JD au just so ya know

Rough draft of my favorite Dorse Verse boys seeing Feral again

(I did not re-read this shit so if spelling error you didn't see it)

It had been months, maybe a whole year since they had all last seen him.

Since Grey had last seen his chip buddy.

Since Eldest had last hung out with his therapy dog.

Since Hitman had last seen his comrade. His amego. His best friend.

‘Where are you Feral?’

At first, none of them had really batted an eye at Feral’s absence. The troll could be pretty unpredictable at times and it was always hard to tell when he was at the house or not. He would disappear for days at a time and then reappear somewhere out of thin air.

After a week had passed Eldest had asked Hitman about where the resident mayhem makers could be. Hitman had no clue. Feral wasn’t exactly the talkative type so there was no way for him to tell them when he would be back.

After two weeks they started to worry. Feral had never been gone for this long before. Maybe they had all just been busy. Missed each other because of how wonky time seemed to move in this place. Maybe Feral just had some things going on and he couldn’t visit?

No, that didn’t seem right. Eldest had known Feral a lot longer than Hitman, This wasn’t normal. Something was wrong and he had no way to contact his little buddy.

Before Feral disappeared if you found Hitman, Feral usually wasn’t very far away. The scruffy troll had taken a liking to the awkward troll almost instantly. That fact alone back made a man full of the other JDs of the house jealous. For different reasons depending on who you asked.

Ever since the early days when Crystal and Grey had figured out just how food-motivated the feral troll was it became a sort of right of passage. Piss off Grey and by default, you’d have to deal with Feral. If a chip bag was ever tossed in your direction then good luck because you’d need it.

So when three weeks rolled around Eldest and Hitman had gone to find Grey and figure out what was going on. Since neither of them knew where their friend had disappeared or why, maybe Grey did. Eldest knew how much the troll cared for Grey after the whole Snake incident. God, he really hoped nothing bad hadn’t happened to Feral.

Weeks turned into one month and then two. After that, they had stopped keeping track. Every day they counted just made things worse. Left more questions. More worry for their friend. 

Until months later.

They had all been in the kitchen eating lunch when they heard the distinct rattle of the door in the living room. It always did that before someone entered. Eldest had gone to peek around the corner to see who it was. He figured it was probably a World Tour considering there was no name present at the top of the door. It was something they released that happened to the most frequent visitors of the house. That and World Tour had said he was going to drop by today.

What Eldest hadn’t been expecting when the door opened was to see a completely unfamiliar troll step through. It was unexpected, to say the least. A new John Dory hadn’t shown up in months so they had all just figured that was everyone.

He was so shocked he just stared at the newcomer.

Eldest’s frozen look had quickly gained the attention of the other two and they had moved to also glance around into the living room.

“What the fuck?” Grey said, also being surprised by the newcomer.

This quickly gained the troll's attention. Their ears quickly perked up, eyes shooting towards the small group. At that, their eyes widened as a large grin broke out across their face. 

In a matter of seconds, the troll had already bolted across the living room and grabbed Eldest, spinning him aggressively around. Arm tightly crushing and head pressed into the side of Eldest. This troll was definitely something. They’d picked Eldest up so fast and effortlessly that It had Grey reeling back further into the kitchen.

As soon as the stranger had noticed Grey he had already dropped Eldest. The troll wobbled from dizziness from the constant spinning as the stranger set his sights on his next target. 

Grey.

Grey had curled his hand into a fist ready to punch the troll but before he could swing his arms were already locked by his sides. Grey was about ready to bite this guy if it came down to it but he suddenly froze at the sound and feel of a deep rumble.

It felt familiar..?

Grey was quickly released, unlike Eldest who had been held for a good minute. Eldest now leaning against the edge of the counter waiting for the world to stop spinning so he could ask who they were.

As soon as Grey realised he quickly backed away from the taller troll who looked curiously down at him. The was when 

The trolls then launched themselves directly at Hitman. The two tumbled to the floor in a heap of fluff and fur. Hitman let out a loud grunt a bit dazed at the abrupt impact. When his eyes cracked back open he was face to face with the pale blue troll. 

He’d never seen someone smile so wide

“Bbrrrrrr-ooouu-theeerrrrrrrr.” The troll growled out as he hugged Hitman tightly, cheek pressed firmly into Hitman’s.

‘Wait… brother?’

At that, Hitman had jolted back his hands flying forward grabbing both sides of the mystery troll's face and really looked at him.

Eyebrow slit. Chip out of his ear. Black earrings. Two scars over the right cheek. One big snaggletooth.

‘Holy shit’

“FERAL!”

The troll grinned widely at that as Hitman latched onto him like if he let go Feral would disappear again.

“Feral?” “Feral!”

Grey and Eldest both called one of confusion and the other of relief.

At that exclamation, Eldest stumbled towards the two and crashed onto the floor next to Feral. Hitman was still clinging tightly to Feral as he wiggled an arm free and reached out towards Eldest. 

Eldest’s eyes watered and with a loud sob, he latched on the other side of Feral.

“Feral where! What! AUGH-” Eldest could barely get a word out through his choked sobs. Hitman was not faring much better as he began to shake and also started to cry.

Grey simply watched the three

A devious smirk streaked across Feral’s face.

“NO. DON'T even think about it!”

It was too late Feral had already unwrapped his long tail from his waist and latched it onto Grey's arm. Dragged the unwilling troll straight into the cuddle pile.

Grey grumbled a few protests but eventually settled down. Eldest, reaching out an arm and crushing Grey into them all.

Feral had missed this. Missed them all so much but some many things had happened in such a short period of time he just didn't have the chance to visit.

But he was here now and that's all that mattered.

His low rumble soon fizzed out into a pur, the vibrations from Feral rippling out and through the other three.

This was perfect.

That was when they all heard a voice.

“Did I miss something?”

World tour stood in the entryway of the living room with a puzzled look on his face.

“Fuck.” Grey was never going to hear the end of this.

Grey! JD belongs to @ijjstlostthegame

Eldest! JD belongs to @matmiraculous

Hitman! JD belongs to @lemony-and-zesty

World Tour! JD belongs to @year2000electronics

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Random Leon headcannons ♡

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Leon listens to 'The Neighborhood' and 'Arctic Monkeys'. He occasionally throws in a little Elvis, too. His favorite songs are Void, Pretty boy (he secretly adores it when you call him that, he will never tell you though) Why'd you only ever call me when you're high, 505 and Devil in Disguise.

He loves, LOVES early 2000s rom coms. Think legally blonde, the proposal, 13 going on 30. It's such a guilty pleasure for him. Luis teases him about it a lot but Leon knows the shit Luis watches is way worse. (Luis is a hallmark movie enthusiast, fight me) 

He is very insistent on a weekly game night with you, Ashley and Luis. Chris and Claire show up too, from time to time. He's such a sucker for boardgames, but if he loses... don't except kisses for the rest of the night. Most of the time he can't help himself though, he just has to kiss you. He seriously crumbles so fast when he's with you.

The biggest snorer out there. He has given you a heart attack or two at night. You gently nudge his leg and usually  he'll roll over and stop, pulling you close. He feels so, so guilty when you walk into the Kitchen with the darkest rings around your eyes because he kept you up with his snores. You assure him that it's fine and you'll just take a nap later. You're just happy that he's getting sleep.

His favorite season is summer. He loves going to the beach and swimming.(it's totally not because you wear skimpy summer clothes) Has played mermaids with you before, may have gotten a little handsy and made it the explicit version of mermaids. Lemon sorbet is his favorite summertime refreshment. He has definitely given you head after he had ice cream and put you on cloud nine. 100% collects shells for you.

He's such a dog person. It has to be a big dog, though. Like a Bernese mountain dog or a Newfoundland. He loves squishing their cute little face. Is the best dog daddy ever, he's so excited when he gets to cuddle with his fluffbuddy, and you of course. Having a dog gives him a feeling of domesticity that he's always longed for. He wouldn't mind a cat, he likes them and never passes on an opportunity to pet one but he's a dog person at heart. If you get him a puppy, he's the happiest man in the world.

Loves to have little kitchen dates with you, aka you cook dinner together and he twirls you around the kitchen and sways with the music. Usually a glass of wine is involved too. You're also wearing matching Pajamas.

Has such a sweet tooth. He looks like a BBQ chips kinda guy but he loooooves sweets. If you like baking and do it frequently he's on his knees. Refuses to eat any other baked good ever again because "they can't compare to yours". Do not leave your baked goods unattended, they will be gone by the end of the day.

Oddly, he enjoys going grocery shopping. He will always push the cart for you and pay. You have tried everything to convince him to let you pay but he straight up refuses and shuts it down immediately. He will spoil you to the high heavens, even if that means just paying for veggies lmao.  Again, there's something so domestic about going grocery shopping with you, it makes him so happy and fulfilled.

Huge Sleeper. Sure, if he has to get up early for his job or run on just a couple hours of sleep he can manage that just fine but he'd sleep for the whole day if you'd let him. On the Weekends, he does not get out of bed before 2 pm so won't you. He will have such an iron grip on you, leaving the warm embrace of the bed is impossible.

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[yeonmuse]

WELCOME TO THE BAND | Day 12

PAIRING Wooyoung x reader

WORD COUNT | 1.9K

GENRE none

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ‼️ vulgar language, sexual innuendos

SUMMARY Wooyoung meets you by chance and things you make a great addition to him and Sans band.

MORE | Day 12 of the Groupie Love Series

It was 15 past midnights and you and your friends had just had the time of your life at the annual end of summer rave. Opposite to your sister you were a complete problem child. While your sister had chosen to settle down and go off to school you were content living the fast life. Drugs, sex and music were the only things you care for, of course you loved money too, but that had never been an issue for you. Despite being your parents hell baby you were spoiled rotten, you saw no point in working or doing anything unnecessary with your life when you were born into wealth. That was exactly why your parents felt that it was about time they cut you off.

“You know i’m pretty sure the dj was checking me out the whole night, damn i should have got his number.’’ your friend groans out of disappointment.

“Too bad your little girlfriend came early this month.’’ You tease her, sitting up onto the coffee counter of the convenience store and popping a sucker into your mouth as she rummages the shelves for tampons.

“You know just because you decided to get birth control so you can sleep around doesn’t mean you can torture us girls that decide against it.’’ your best friend responds sarcastically making you scoff before you both burst into laughter.

“Would you two mind hurrying up so that we can close, you’re the only two wasting my time right now.’’ the cashier complains from the front of the store, having heard the two of you laughing and giggling only made him further lose his patience from the time two of you walked in.

“Listen if i wanted to i could buy this entire store, hold your damn horses.’’

“Listen I don’t give a shit how much money you got or what it gets you, pay for your shit and go home.’’ rolling your eyes, you hop down from the counter and make your way to the cash counter. After placing the wrapper from your candy down along with a few other things you silently waited for him to ring it all up and tell you the total.

“He’s kinda cute.’’ your best friend whispers to you from behind you making you roll your eyes.

“Your cards been declined.’’

“Excuse me? Either your card reader is absolute shit or you're just incompetent at swiping.’’

“Listen sweetheart i don’t know if you need me to dumb this down for you any further, but unless you have another card or something you won’t be leaving the store with any of this.’’

“Are you serious? It’s just a pack of tampons.’’ despite your efforts at convincing him to give them to you he still refused. The moment you exit the convenience store you make a call to your bank, something had to have gone wrong for him to say your card declined, you of all people. On the way out of the store you brushed shoulders with some stranger, someone you had been to caught up in your money problems to even give the light of day for having bumped into you.

“Yeonjunn jagiyaa~’’ the handsome stranger makes his way into the convenience store with a smile on his face.

“How do you always manage to come in here the exact moment i’m ready to close and get the fuck out of here Jung Wooyoung.’’ Yeonjun complains as he goes to put back everything you and your friend had taken off the shelves.

“Damn my full name? Who pissed in your cereal this morning?’’

“I’m so sick of these rich trust fund babies acting like they own the entire town.’’

“Oh this should be good, who was it this time?’’ Wooyoung laughs as he opens up a bag of chips and watches his friend restock before having to lock up.

“Some girl and her friend, i’m pretty sure she's Nzeka Parks little sister (alternate universe kiome, if you read my series lip gloss & secrets of summer)”

“Wait like thee Park family? As in the owns that own Park records?’’

“Pretty sure it was her, yeah, though I don't know if her parents went bankrupt or what but she was acting like she’d buy out the whole lot only for her damn card to decline. How the fuck do you get mad at someone else because your ass doesn’t have any money. I swear i don’t get paid enough for this.’’ While his friend continued to ramble on while stocking shelves Wooyoung's eyes shot to you outside the window who was still outside from the looks of it completely tearing into someone over the phone.

“Hey Jun go ahead and give me everything that she was gonna buy when you’re done.’’ Meanwhile on the other side of the glass you were completely pissed after having gotten off the phone with your bank. Now you were angrily dialing up your fathers number only to be met with a cheery “hello dear” on the other line.

“Dad i just called the bank and they’re refusing to unfreeze my account, which i didn’t tell them to in the first place.’’

“You didn’t but we did dear.’’ you could hear your mother say from the other line.

“What? What the hell?”

“Your father and I have had about enough of you taking advantage of the fact that we work hard to ensure your sister and you can live comfortably. We have been trying to let you live your life as expressly as you would like , but lately you’ve gone too far. So until further notice, until we feel like you deserve to have your account unfrozen you will find a way to make your own money.’’ It was clear from the tone of your mothers voice that there was no debating this. Pissed off at both your mom and dad, you hang up the phone.

“Well from the looks of your face that was not an i love you mom and dad type of conversion.’’

“They cut me off! Something about me going too far and now they want me to get a fucking job or something and make my own money.’’

“Don’t mean to interrupt ladies, but i believe these are yours.’’ A tall guy with blue and black hair held out a bag in front of him, you gave him a look of confusion as your best friend took the bag and peeked in.

“Oh my god I don’t know who you are but you’re a lifesaver.’’ Your best friend ran back inside at the speed of light leaving you along with the stranger, earning an annoyed “Oh come on!’’ from the cashier inside.

“Um thanks for that, but i could have gotten those myself…who exactly are you anyways.’’

“Jung Wooyoung, and from what I heard of you and your best friends conversation, you couldn’t buy anything in there with your card frozen.’’

“So you were listening to our conversation?’’

“Actually i just happened to hear when i was leaving out, and from what i heard seems like you need to find a job right?’’

“Why is this any of your business?’’

“Well my band and I just lost our lead singer and we’ve had no luck with auditions thus far, and you look like someone that knows how to blow (definitely no sexual undertones there) so if you’re up for it you come audition tomorrow and if they like you you’ll be touring with us from now on, money isn’t something you have to worry about when you’re one of us.’’

“Holy shit Yn tell me you said yes hello? Did you see how fine that man was?’’

“Obviously i said yes, all i have to do is make them like me it won’t be hard considering who my parents are, and this face is definitely not made to be in someone's grocery store or kitchen.’’ You and your best friend had finally made it back to your place and you were now telling her all the details from your conversation with Wooyoung.

“I still can’t believe your parents just cut you off like that.Do you think they cut off Nzeka too?’’

“I doubt it, everything she does is perfect in their eyes. I doubt she would even care though not like she uses their money anyways.”

“Well I guess that doesn’t matter, let’s just give you something sexy to wear tomorrow for your meeting with that fine ass man and the rest of his band.”

The next morning you showed up to the exact address Wooyoung gave you and were shocked to say the least when you stood outside of a gated mansion. As the gate opened and you entered the parking lot your eyes scanned over all the different cars in the driveway which now had you wondering exactly who this van was and how you hadn’t heard of them. As you arrive at the door Wooyoung opens the door with a smile on his face. Sleeves of his shirt rolled up and his hair pushed back on his head. He looked absolutely devourable in that moment as he stood in front of you with his pic between his teeth. You also didn't like the way he took in your entire appearance from head to toe. Last night after having spent an hour looking through your clothes you and your best friend ended up choosing your custom made fanni club outfit to wear with your meeting today. A nice black set, short black cropped skirt with your botani mesh top. Adorned with man accessories and black leather boots of course.

“Well you definitely look the part.” You could hear him say as he stepped aside to let you enter the house.

“Don’t tell me you hired her just because she looks the part, can she sing?” You could hear someone say from behind him making you roll your eyes.

‘Can I sing? Is he being serious? Do none of them know who I am?’ You thought to yourself.

You scoff making the other guys eyebrows raise at the sound.

“Is there a problem princess? Am I annoying asking my band members simple questions here?”

“San. enough, let her show us what she can do before you start getting all fussy.”

“Whatever.” The man you now knew to be San just rolls his eyes as he goes to sit on the couch with two others.

Wooyoung then turns to you.

“Yn these are the guys, guys this is yn.” He continues on with the introduction, going down the line and ending with San who made you roll your eyes immediately upon hearing his name. You could tell he was about to make this job a lot harder for you. When Wooyoung finally finished with introductions and gave you the floor to show off your talents, let's just say you didn’t disappoint. To their suprise you were really fucking good; though Wooyoung knew that already, having seemed to be the only one in the room aside from yourself to know who you parents were. By the end of this little meeting there was no debate between the band on where or not they were having you join them. You could sing, play guitar, drums, keyboard, compose and on top of that you had the power to get them to the top with your parents being so well known in the music industry.

“Looks like you’re one of us sweetcheeks.” Wooyoung says playfully after the others have left the room leaving just you and him.

“Welcome to the band”

[miaisinlovewithlukehughes]

It’s so easy to love you

(Luke Hughes x reader/OC)

Pt.4

HEY GUYS!!! I am back in business, sorry I was swamped with school work and was sick and had to deal with a bitch tryna apologize like no 😆 anyways

Warnings: implied sexual acts, suggestive language, swearing, smoking

It was an early morning for everyone, they went to bed pretty late last night, especially since Trevor thought it was a good idea to roll down a wet hill with a poll at the end of it, smacked his head right on it. You look over to your right to see your boyfriend sleeping next to you, you reach over to mess with his curls, then you remember where you are and abruptly sit up. You shake your Luke awake “wake up Luke! Shit!” You say while moving to grab his clothes from your floor, he wakes with a start and groans, everyone had a little bit too much to drink last night and while you and Luke thought everyone to be asleep he snuck into your room, I mean what did we expect, to keep our hands off each other for months? Absolutely not.

“Shit I’m sorry baby” Luke says and begins dressing with the clothes your throwing at him, once finished you both peak out the door and look both ways as if crossing the road, and Luke sneaks back into his room quietly sending a pity glance behind him. You shut your door and let out a breath of relief and start dressing yourself, as well as quickly fluffing your hair and putting on some makeup, once finished you make your way down the stairs to the rowdy group of boys in a heated debate about what breakfast food is better. “It’s definitely French fucking toast are you kidding??” Jack yells in Cole’s face, Cole waves his han in his face as if wafting away jacks breath. “First of all you idiot French toast gets soggy way to fast, waffles with that crunch? AMAZING.” He shoots back waving his hands in astonishment, you giggle “I personally believe chocolate chip pancakes are the best” you say then hear a hum of agreement behind you, looking back to find your boyfriend now in new clothes.

A series of “heys” and “sups” are let out from the boys as you and Luke make your way to the table. “So what’s on the agenda for today” you say and pick up a spatula to grab some eggs. “Well we need to go shopping so since you so graciously offered why don’t you go” Trevor says with a grin in your direction “hey now I didn’t… you know what fine I would rather it be me than you children, but who is coming with cuz I’m not loading those groceries into the car by myself.” I say pointing around accusingly. Quinn glances up from his plate of food “I’ll go, we all know I’m the most responsible here anyways” he says with a roll of his eyes. The boys all give him an offended look and scoff as if it’s not true. We all resume eating but soon after we hear two elephants stomping down the stairs with grains, Matt and Brady. “Jesus you guys look like hell” Luke says with a laugh. “It’s no wonder, they always drink the most” Cole says looking them up and down amused, you giggle at your brothers and hand them both plates, they make their plates and have a seat as you all wait for them to get out of the non-verbal stage. Finally one of them speaks up “hey what was all the commotion I heard coming from the bathroom last night” Matthew says raising his eye brow

Trevor let’s put a groan and touches his head “I was trying to patch up this fucking cartoon bump, I was up until like 4 in the morning with this dumb shit.” He says and rubs his bump. Your eyes go wide and you almost choke on your food but hold it back, you look over to Luke who has the most guilty ‘I fucked up’ look on his face. Luke came into your room at 3 thinking everyone was asleep, does that mean Trevor heard anything??? He would’ve said something by now but he hasn’t so I guess we’re fine. I hope. “Hey vik how about we head out to grab the groceries now so we can spend the rest of the day on the boat” Quinn says and stands up from his chair, his words snap you out of your daze, and you make a move to the door “yeah good idea, boys please don’t do anything outstandingly dumb while the responsible ones are gone.” You say and slam the door behind you to hide the groans of their protests, you and Quinn make it to his car and the way to the store you make casual small talk, how’s your life, anything new, all that jazz

Once you make it in the store you both suggest things to get “we should get some regular chips for our picky eaters” you say pointing at the lays yellow bag “oh right I forgot about Jack and Trevor’s habits” he said and throws the bag into the cart. “Soooo” he says turning back to you, you look at him with a confused look and hum confusingly. “You and Luke then?” He says and you stop in your tracks with an astonished face “what.” Was all you could mutter in reply

I fear I’m leaving you guys on a cliff hanger, I know this is short sorry 😞 I’ll make it up to you, somehow

[dekarios]

@shadowfells OKAY HERE WE GO

i'm 25 hours in, i'm level 17 with a few perk points not spent cuz i'm hoarding for my specialisation unlock at 20, and the last side content i did was making me fight level 24-25 enemies and a level 36 boss! i did respec once because i realised champion had abilities i really wanted to use so i went a different path in the skill tree and so i've now tried nearly every warrior ability not tied to a specialisation !! i've not changed any of the hotkeys or settings from default and i play with controller ^_^

neutrally i wanna say.. ur companions dont really do much if ur not using their skills manually. they do very little chip damage. they very rarely take aggro. theyre kinda just there as moral support unless ur going out of ur way to use their skills . which i recommend ! they can do intense damage and support u in really interesting ways !!

so some cons for combat... the camera can sometimes hate you but for the most part it should be ok, auto lock on has fucked me a few times but its easy to recover, i am still learning how to properly time perfect blocking especially as a dwarf because sometimes enemies simply miss me because i am small so i'm pretty block to perfect block but nothing is hitting me and its just awkward for both me and the enemy, dodging is quite slow and there seems to be an invisible timer for it so in some bosses that say constantly unleash attacks on you but you just rolled out of the way of the first and u need 0.1 seconds to roll again but the attacks coming out too fast for you to have that time (speaking of, avoid being chilled like the plague. that dodge timer gets LONG), sometimes its just not quite clear what's going on? the game is very flashy and theres soooo much happening that it can get visually overwhelming especially when things are taking longer to die cuz they're out levelling you

ok pros....... the abilities are fun to use, warrior rage took forever to get early on but now i can get loads of rage and i feel like a rage machine so i can use abilities all the time, its copied mass effect in that biotic detonations are here and you can combo it with ur companions just like in mass effect (this game feels quite mass effect 3 and dragon age 2 like we combined those two games) and that can be pretty darn fun, especially my bellara + harding combo because the enemy gets sort of locked in place and that fucks, i love that you can interrupt enemies with staggering attacks like even big bosses they can be charging their massive red attack and if i do a drop kick or a stomp on them it cancels the attack and it can feel sooo good lining up ur ability use like that, potion consuming is fast and every companion has a heal and bellara has an auto heal which ooofff has becoming so helpful to me, the bosses actually feel like thoughtout bosses which is sooo important to me i feel like i'm dancing around a fromsoft boss sometimes especially when they out level me and the boss fight takes over 10 minutes, the opportunity for Cool Moments is everywhere in this combat system it WANTS you to feel like a badass and to have moments where ur like OUUGHHH CLIP THATTT I WISH SOMEONE WAS WATCHING DID U SEE THATTTT and i have definitely had PLENTY of those i feel very cool playing this game, i have a rune now that freezes every enemy around me with a massive radius which FUCKS SO HARD runes are REALLY cool, theres so much BUILD opportunity here like with accessories that do unique shit including new effects when you use ur potion, i got an accessory today that boosts my damage when im at low health and makes it so i can never be max health like OUGHHHH THATS SICK???, i also got an ability for warrior that makes my weapon go on fire when i parry and it makes all my attacks do like cleave damage and its so cool i feel so rewarded for playing well,

hmmm thats all i can think of right now but honestly. the games combat has become so fun to me i am eager to get to more enemies . it definitely improves once u get more abilities and perks and stuff. and once u get used to it which did take me a bit as you know. idk i love it. i want to play BECAUSE i want to go find another boss and kick its butt. .... hmm ok yeah i cant think of anything more to say

[pichiru]

The Sun Also Smiles - Chapter 8

Chapters - [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Summary - With Mabel and Dipper's 16th birthday party on the horizon, Grunkle Stan takes to online dating to find a date for the party. Things start to get real weird real fast.

Word Count - 3,861

Pairing(s) - Stan Pines x OC

Genre(s): Romance, Comedy, Mystery

A/N: I'm soooooo sorry this chapter is so far apart from my other ones as far as release goes. I was battling w myself a lot about how I wanted to proceed with certain parts of the story. And a lot of sitting and thinking. A lot.

I'm also looking for beta readers if anyone is interested! U must be up to speed with the tv show's lore and u must be 18+ years old bc there's adult content in this story. Pls comment if this is something ur interested in and we can talk details :3 <3

Enjoy!!

--------

The following morning, Solana's phone was ringing relentlessly. The sound quickly became grating on the ears which caused her to wake up and roll away from Stan to look at it.

Of course. It was Chip. She rolled her eyes and answered the phone.

"What do you want, Chip?" She asked in a groggy voice while rubbing her face.

"I seem to remember politely asking you to come in early this morning," he said, his creepy smile evident in his voice. Solana snuggled down into the bed and closed her eyes in response to that.

"I was out late last night. I came home and went right to sleep," she lied smoothly. "Not that it's any of your business."

"It is when my manager doesn't show up like I ask her to," he replied simply.

"Well the manager isn't even on the schedule for today. The owner would know that if he actually looked at the schedule he makes," Solana said, attitude clear in her voice.

"You're such a little firecracker. I love that about you. See you in a hour?" He asked dismissively.

"No, I'm not coming in. I'm tired," Solana said firmly.

"Solana, you and I both know that you gave that old guy's kids a pretty big discount on stuff. I could have you apprehended by the authorities for theft. You know very well that I could."

Solana opened her eyes and looked around at the stuff in the room around her without moving. "It's literally 7 in the morning. Can I come in at noon?" she bargained quietly.

"10," he replied simply.

"10:30."

"Fine," Chip sighed heavily. "10:30 and not a second later."

"Whatever." Solana hung up the phone and put it back down on the side table where it was before. She turned onto her side away from Stan and snuggled back down into the bed, ready to go back to sleep for the time being. She suddenly felt an arm finding its way to wrap around her waist to gingerly pull her backwards towards the middle of the bed.

Stan nuzzled his face into the nape of Solana's neck and slowly inhaled her scent. She still smelled nice even the next morning.

"G'mornin," he grumbled, his eyes still closed.

"Not yet," Solana snickered, trying to get comfortable again. She turned back to look at him. There was an eerie air of silence before she let out a scream and rolled away from Stan until she fell off of the bed, tangled in the sheet.

"Whuzzat?!" Stan blurted, now fully awake from her screaming in his face. "Are ya okay, toots?" he asked, getting closer to the edge of the bed to check on her. He reached out his hand to help her but he stopped when he noticed something. His hands. They were...smooth. No wrinkles.

He twisted his hands every which way he could to get a better look. His gaze fell onto Solana who was looking up at him with wide eyes. Her expression was almost unreadable. It was a wild mixture of shock, intrigue, and confusion.

"What? Is there somethin on my face?" Stan asked, touching his face all over until he got to his hair. He stopped. His hair was thicker and...and longer?

“Stanley?!” Ford called out from outside of the room. He came busted into the room and looked between the two of them. His dread set in when he saw his brother.

Solana quickly covered herself up in a presentable way in the sheet she was tangled up in. She stared at Ford then at Stan back and forth a few times before she let out a small squeak.

“Y-You guys weren’t kidding about you having a twin,” Solana managed to say to break the silence in the room.

Ford blushed when he realized she was practically naked. “I have so many things to say and ask,” he said, running a hand through his hair, averting his eyes from Solana to respect her privacy.

“I’ll start. Sixer, what the HELL is going ON?” Stan asked as he moved to get out of the bed. Thank god he still had his boxers on at least. Ford was thankful for that. He immediately went to the first reflective surface he could find and looked in it.

His eyes widened in complete disbelief at the familiar face he once knew. He looked down at his hands again then closer at his facial features. “H…How…? What…?” He stammered.

Ford gulped quietly once the reality of the situation set in.

“Stanley, were you rummaging through my fridge AGAIN? I’ve told you repeatedly not to do that,” Ford said sternly.

Stan thought about it long and hard. Did he really go through the fridge? He did.

“All I had was the stupid water ya had in your fridge after you made me run fifty leven miles on the fuckin treadmill!”

Ford’s expression shifted from shock to pure dread. He was silent for a moment before he blurted, “THAT WASN’T WATER, STANLEY!”

“Then WHYYYY for the love of GOD did it look like water?!” Stan shouted back.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about! Stay out of my fridge!”

Stan laughed in complete astonishment. “Are ya kiddin me?? I think this is exactly the thing I need to worry about right now. What the HELL did I drink??” He asked, walking up to Ford, angry now.

Ford sighed heavily and caved. “It’s a concoction I was working on to take the human body back to whenever it peaked physically health wise.”

Stan stood there, quiet. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “I peaked in my 30s?” He said, impressed at that while rubbing his chin.

“Apparently,” Ford replied, rolling his eyes.

“Why…Why are ya makin somethin like this?” Stan asked after a few moments of thinking.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ford replied curtly. “Good morning, by the way,” he said, looking to Solana. “It’s not usually that craz-“

“Don’t lie to her like that,” Stan laughed, gently shoving Ford.

Solana got up, keeping the sheet tightly wrapped around her body. “Oh! I see. Uhm…it’s nice to meet you?” She replied awkwardly. “Sorry I didn’t meet you in…better circumstances.”

“It’s alright. I’m Stanford,” he said simply.

“Nice t—“ She stopped when she remembered she’d already said that and shook her head a little to reset. “I'm Solana.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Ford said with a nod. He stood there for a moment before turning back to Stan. “I’ll figure out how to get this reversed in no time.”

“What? No. I think I’m likin this,” Stan said quickly, adjusting his hair in the reflective surface he was in before. “I’m a hunk again. Look! No gut!” He laughed happily, patting his stomach.

Solana frowned slightly. “I think you were a hunk before too,” she added in a quiet voice.

Stan stopped to look at Solana and made an expression that couldn’t really be read. “Thanks,” he said, his voice full of gratitude.

“Yeah!” She responded with a smile.

"Do ya think this is gonna wear off any time soon?" Stan asked his brother.

"I should hope not. I made it to be permanent," Ford admitted.

Stan's eyes widened to the size of moons. "Y'mean...I...I just have to relive the last 30 years of my life?"

Ford winced gently as he adjusted his clothes a little. "It's possible. Very possible."

Stan's entire face lit up excitedly. "I get to...I get to live my life again as me? Instead of tryin to be you?"

His brother cleared his throat a little and nodded. "Yes, I suppose that's what it means."

Stan grinned from ear to ear before hugging Ford and kissing his cheek. "Ford, ya beautiful son of a bitch!" He exclaimed happily, borderline crying.

Solana stood there, unsure of what to do or say in this situation. She was definitely happy for Stan but she was unsure about what this meant for them going forward. Maybe he'd go off and find someone else to date around with. He was old. Maybe he felt like she was the only option he had at that age. This was super uncharted territory for her. It was for all of them. She wasn't even sure how this...potion?...worked and she was too scared to ask, frankly.

"Ya wanna go out for breakfast, toots?" Stan asked Solana, walking over to her. "I feel like a million bucks! I feel like I could do 1,000 jumpin jacks or pushups."

She blinked, bringing herself back to the present moment with Stan. "Breakfast? Are you sure it's okay for you to...like...go out like this? Doesn't everyone here know you as an older guy?"

"Look, if they can not question Sixer comin back after 30 years with no explanation and the world almost ending, then they can handle this too. Don't worry."

"30 years? The world ending???" Solana asked incredulously. She was so flabbergasted that he said all of that so simply as if it was something so easily digestible.

"I forgot I actually haven't known ya that long. I can explain if ya agree to go to breakfast with me? Since we didn't get to have dinner last night like we planned," Stan chuckled, rubbing his neck nervously.

Solana was staring at Stan's features. Despite how young he was now, it was still him. Wholeheartedly. She smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah. I'll go to breakfast with you. Just...lemme take a shower first?" she chuckled gently. "Desperately need one."

"Oh, yeah yeah. Feel free. Ya know where the bathroom is. Have at it," Stan offered, motioning gently with both hands for her to go.

"Thanks, handsome," Solana said as she stretched up on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. Somehow he was even taller at this age. She smiled at him then left the room to go into the bathroom.

Almost as if on cue, her phone started ringing again. Stan's curiosity got the better of him and he peeked over to see who it was. It said, 'Big Will 💓' again.

"Who the hell is this Will person??" Stan said quietly.

"Is it another guy?" Ford asked, moving closer to his brother's side to see what her phone said.

"Dunno. Hope not. Really hopin not," Stan replied honestly.

"Maybe it's just a friend or something?" Ford suggested.

"Do friends really call and text this often?" Stan asked, scratching his head.

"Well, yes. If you have them."

"Fuck off."

Ford snickered. "Sorry. I couldn't resist. It was such an easy target," he laughed while being punched in the arm by Stan.

Stan watched the phone ring until it was done then looked at Ford. "I'm kinda nervous about it bein another guy. I know I have no right. Us not actually datin and all but still."

"Ask her about it," Ford tried.

"Ford, for god's sake. We've only been on one date. I can't just question a gal like that about what goes on with her phone."

"Why not?"

"Jesus, Ford. Ya really have no etiquette," Stan sighed.

"And you do?" Ford asked, confused.

"More than you! But I guess when the person you're tryin to woo is also in his 60s and has been out of it for the last 30 years, shit's different."

Ford blushed and punched Stan's arm. "HOW do you know about that?"

"Walls are thin, Fordsie. Walls are thin. Paper thin."

"Anyway, gonna let you and your lady friend get ready for your second date in 24 hours."

"It's not a date! It's called being a gentleman. Somethin ya know nothin about," Stan grumbled angrily as he walked across the room picking up Solana's belongings to put them in the same spot for her.

"Happy to see your heart didn't give out," Ford dismissed, watching his brother. "I was worried."

"Awwwww. Look at ya. Worried about lil ole me. How sweet," Stan teased with a laugh.

"Shut up," Ford huffed, turning away from Stan and folding his arms. He hated when Stan used his brotherly affection against him sometimes.

Stan laughed as he grabbed Solana's dress then left the room to go knock on the bathroom door.

"Solana?" he said loud enough for her to hear over the water.

"Yeah?" she called back at the same volume.

"Can I come in and give ya your dress?"

"Yeah, come in!"

Stan opened the door and quickly folded her dress up and put it on the sink counter. "I didn't know if ya wanted to uh...run from here to the room with my brother down here and all," he said loudly.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks! I was thinking about that actually," she laughed gently. "I appreciate it a lot. You're so sweet."

Stan's entire face flushed as he tried to hide a smile that she for certain wouldn't be able to see either way. "Yeah. No problem," he said with a nod.

"I'll be out in a few!"

"Take your time! I want ya to be able to get yourself together at your pace. Even though ya have to go in later for work."

Solana groaned. "Don't even remind me. I wish I could find a creative job that'd treat me better," she said, mostly to herself.

"A creative job? Like what?" Stan asked curiously, leaning onto the counter and folding his arms.

"Hmm...I'd love to draw for kids' books. That's the dream right there. I'd love to do that for the rest of my life if it paid me well enough," she admitted in a shy tone.

Stan mulled over her words for a while. "That sounds pretty stable and fun. There's always gonna be kids and they're always gonna wanna read to learn more. So there wouldn't be any shortage of opportunities."

"Yeah exactly. I'm just in the midst of trying to find an agent and get my work out there. It's been...tough. So I'm just working at Chip's place until I take off then I'll never have to see that creep again."

He winced slightly, agreeing with her on that sentiment.

"Sometimes I feel like Chip is a creature of the night or something. Guy never takes his sunglasses off. Either that or he just is always hung over or something," Solana joked.

Stan stopped in his tracks at her comment. Maybe he actually was something? But it was also just as likely for him to be a regular creep. He'd have to table that thought for later discussion with Ford. Maybe even Maze if he was desperate enough.

“Yeah…that’s…something,” he said thoughtfully. “I just hate that ya gotta work for him. He’s kinda…” “Pig headed? Disgusting? Grosssssss? Need I go on?” Solana laughed.

Stan laughed along with her. “No thanks. I’m good on that, actually. No need.”

Solana laughed even more. “Okay, okay. I get it.”

Stan laughed to himself some more. He stood there in silence for a moment before he realized that he was actually in the bathroom while she showered.

“Oh, I should probably get goin so ya can come out and do your business.” “Why? It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked already,” she chuckled.

Stan blushed and rubbed his chin a little at the memory of the night before. “Yeah but like…I don’t know. Just feels awkward. Ya know?”

“If you say soooooo,” she said in a singsong voice.

He blushed even more, not sure what to say to that. “Err…see ya outside,” he said quickly as he left, not leaving time for her to respond. He closed the door behind himself, then closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.

“Everything alright?” Ford asked.

Stan opened his eyes and jumped at the sound of his brother’s voice. “Don’t be sneakin around!” he fussed, his heart racing now.

Ford rolled his eyes. “Shouldn’t be so nervous and smitten.”

“Sixer, don’t even go there with me. I could go on for hours about you and Fiddles.”

Ford was the one blushing now. “Stop bringing it up!”

“You stop first and I’ll stop next,” he snickered.

“I guess now your childishness is more appropriate for the age you’re at. Again,” Ford said, rolling his eyes and making his way back to the science-y part of the lab.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stan neverminded. He heard the water turn off suddenly which made him jump again but away from the door. He moved towards Ford, his eyes glued to the door to see if she was coming out immediately or not. When she didn’t come out, Stan looked at his brother who was staring him directly in his face with a shit eating grin.

“What?” Stan asked, getting defensive.

“I don’t think I’ve actually seen you this smitten and jumpy. Who are you? What have you done with the Stanley that was grumpier than the day is long? The one who’d curse at the sun for shining too bright???”

“Okay, okay. I got it, I got it. I still cuss at the sun. Now I’d cuss at the sun for hurting S-”

The bathroom door swung open suddenly, interrupting Stan’s train of thought. It was Solana. Finished with her shower.

“Uhhhh at the risk of being even more of a bother, you wouldn’t happen to have any lotion would you?” She asked sheepishly.

“Uh…y-yeah! I got ya.” Stan led Solana back into the bedroom. He went to the nightstand where her phone was and opened the drawer to find what he assumed was a flowery smelling lotion. He pulled it out and handed it to her. “Good?”

“Perfect,” she said sweetly, kissing Stan on his cheek. “Thank you!”

Stan blushed again, looking everywhere but her. “Yeah. No problem,” he said with a nonchalant shrug.

“You don’t have to be so mysterious just because your brother is nearby, you know,” Solana said as she sat on the bed. “And before you say you’re not, you are.”

Stan was stumped at how she just knew he was going to say something in response. He stood there, unsure of what to say next.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to stump you,” she said while she was rubbing the lotion on. “I just can read people sometimes. That’s all. And you’re an open book, Stanley Pines,” Solana said with a light laugh at the end.

Again, he didn’t know how to respond. He just stood there in mild disbelief that she was this bold with him.

“Also, brunette’s a good color on you,” she said with a light hum while she was focused on lotioning up her legs.

“Yeah?” He asked, his face red as a tomato.

“Yeah. I never would have pegged you for a brunette if I’m being honest. Totally thought black hair was the vibe.”

“I dyed it black once and I just ended up looking like I stepped straight outta the Godfather movies,” Stan sighed.

Solana laughed at that. “I would have loved to see that, honestly.”

“Maybe I’ll do it again and grow a mustache or somethin,” he teased.

“Oh my god, the Marlon Brando mustache would be fucking hilarious.”

“I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse,” Stan said in his best impression of the actor.

Solana burst out laughing. “That was legit so good. You missed your calling as an actor,” she joked.

Stan laughed too, loving the energy between them at the moment. She really was just a little ray of sunshine. It was so infectious. 

Eventually, Solana finished putting lotion on and Stan was in the shower himself by this point. She slipped her shoes on then grabbed her purse and phone. She made sure she had everything and walked out of the room, straight into a staring contest with Ford, who was sitting across the open area from her. He was sitting there, watching her every move, wondering what her motives were.

“Do I…have something on my face?” Solana asked, wiping her face.

“No. I’m just trying to figure you out,” Ford said bluntly.

“Figure me out?” Solana asked, laughing faintly as she adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

“Yes. Figure you out. As much as Stanley and I fight, I don’t want him to get hurt.”

Solana made an incredulous expression. “I…I don’t know what you think this is, but I’m not in the ‘hurting people for fun’ sort of business. I’ve been hurt a lot and I wouldn’t dream of doing it to anyone else. Especially Stan. He’s a sweetheart and a perfect gentleman.”

Ford started laughing then stopped when he realized she wasn’t joking. “I can’t believe Stan is getting this sort of review from someone. It’s always grumpy or hard to deal with or crass or…some other thing that’s negative.”

“Well…I don’t know Stan too well just yet but he’s never come off as any of that to me.”

Ford nodded a bit, mulling over her words. “Who’s Will?” He asked, bluntly, again.

Solana made a face at that question. “Will? Were you looking at my phone?” She asked, clutching her purse.

“I wasn’t. Stan was though. He said he doesn’t have the credibility to ask you these sorts of questions yet but I have no stake, so.”

She grit her teeth in annoyance. “What goes on in my phone is none of your business and its not Stan’s either,” she said curtly before turning to go up the stairs.

“He just wants to be sure that he doesn’t get too involved with you and you’re…with someone else,” Ford added quickly as she turned.

Solana let out a derisive laugh. “If I was with someone else, I wouldn't be here with Stan, now would I?” She asked in a rude tone before going up the stairs, leaving no space for Ford to follow up.

Time passed as Solana waited for Stan in the store part of the shack. She didn’t know where else to sit so she just sat on the counter. It was still early in the morning so no one was there yet. Not even the new manager. As dedicated as he was.

Footsteps could be heard ascending the stairs from behind the vending machine. Solana’s heart raced at how she was going to confront Stan for looking at her phone. She wasn’t even sure if she should because it doesn’t seem like he was malicious with his intent but it was still a breach of privacy. But how could she blame him for being a little bit concerned that there was someone else in the picture?

The vending machine moved to reveal Stan in a casual white t-shirt, some jeans, and a bomber jacket that looks like it hadn’t seen the light of day in a long time. It was entirely too pristine. The gold chain from the previous night made another appearance too. He was trying to make an impression, that much was for sure. She could smell his cologne wafting from across the room. It was so intoxicating.

Is this…what he was like in the prime of his life? Suddenly she forgot why she was upset in the first place.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

Weight Loss, Dieting, Medical Shit Goin' On

At the request of @meethisharma , I'm making a big post of like. EVERYTHING I've learned so far since truly trying to lose weight and do better since February of this year. I'm of course going to go into my background as to why I need to lose weight and my life as an obese person, different references I've used to help with my weight loss, dietary changes, THE WHOLE SHEBANG.

So uh. Buckle up, it's a LONG post.

(Also, shout out to Jordan Shrinks over on YouTube, I've followed this woman for years and she is still the biggest inspiration and my favorite fucking person who has helped me shape my routine for weight loss.)

Why did I start trying to lose weight?

I have been obese pretty much my whole life. In high school, I weighed 260-270 lbs. Both of my parents struggled with drug addiction, and that meant that we ate a lot of unhealthy, over processed food as it was the cheapest. I also rarely, if ever, drank water growing up; we mostly had soda in the house, and that's what I drank.

Last year, in May of 2022, I weighed 330 lbs. This was after I had already lost an unknown amount of weight, as I put on a LOT working at McD's given the food was free and I was broke most of the time. This was still not enough for me to start losing weight, but I did start packing my own lunches and at least started eating better. In September, I started my first hotel job, and with the better work and pay, I was finally able to afford insurance for 2023 and start going to doctors like I needed to. I've always had a LOT of chronic issues, but none were ever diagnosed as I really didn't go to the doctor much unless it was an absolute dire emergency.

Timeskip to the first week or two of February, 2023, and I finally get in to see a nurse practioner who will lead me to find my current primary care doctor. I weighed 312 lbs, and she was very... well, blatantly, she didn't even give me the time of day LMAO. She didn't even bother to tell me I was pre-diabetic, I had to find that out from looking at my lab results myself.

Week 3 of February, I get in with the guy who's now my primary care doctor. He's also fat, like I am, and he was also far more direct with me about my situation. As it turned out, I was in like stage 3 hypertension (my blood pressure was 150 smth over 140), I was almost 90% deficient in vitamin D (y'know, the shit that makes your bones HARD), my iron saturation in my blood was in single digits (aka severely anemic, borderline needed a blood transfusion), I was well into my way to being a Type-2 Diabetic (my A1C was 5.8, you need to be 6.4 to be diagnosed), AND... my liver was struggling really, really badly. Side note, he's also a mental health professional, and he's the one who originally diagnosed my severe PTSD and got me in with my therapist.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS NOT IN THE BEST CONDITION. I was actually well on my way to developing early heart disease, osteoporosis, diabetes, blood clots, like everything I was the MOST afraid of was what I was about to have. Because I wasn't taking care of myself, I was living off of ramen and fast food and processed as shit food all the time, TV dinners... I'd make a meal out of a family-sized bag of chips or a whole roll of crackers and several slices of cheese.

My doctor was very point fucking blank about my outcomes. I could've died if I did nothing. A really horrible way to die, too. He told me that if I wanted to make changes, he'd get me every resource possible he could to help me, but I had to want the changes if they were gonna stick. Keep that in mind, right? YOU have to want the changes needed.

And that's when everything started.

THE GAME PLAN

SO, what did I do to start losing weight? What changes did I make?

Everything. FUCKING everything. My doctor said I needed a low-as-possible sodium diet, so I changed it. I needed to start exercising, so I did. I needed meds and to get into therapy to help deal with my mental health, so I religiously take my meds and I go to therapy as many times as possible each month. He also wanted me to get a daytime job, as my overnights were likely making things worse, and I finally got that done now, too.

A big thing to add here, too: my doctor has not talked to me about BMI. The only thing he has asked me to do is get to 200 lbs. He says so long as I don't drop under 120, he's said it's fine whatever weight I stop on, so long as I get to 200.

But where did I begin? The SIMPLE shit.

I started with ten minute walks. That's it for exercising, I started with TEN MINUTE WALKS. And you know what? It was fucking hard. It still is. It's like pulling teeth sometimes to get me to get up and go take a 30 minute to an hour walk. But don't let these fucking fitness influencers bully you into thinking that if you can't handle pumping iron in the gym for 6 hours straight then you're always gonna be a fat slob or whatever those fuckheads say these days. And, if you don't like walking, if you'd rather lift weights, you can do that too! If you don't want to go to a gym like I don't, order some cheap ones off of Amazon or Walmart. Go cycling or swimming or jumping rope. You don't have to go big and hard into exercise to be healthier. Start small.

Now, diet-wise, I threw myself in it a little too vigorously and I also paid the price of wasting like $50 each payday in shit I didn't eat or still haven't, and I also fucked up my GI tract for a solid month. I was ROUGHING it. Raw-dogged the low sodium diet and it did it back double time, do NOT do what I did. There's gonna be a WHOLE section after this one on dietary shit. Big thing, though? MEAL PLANNING. I don't care if you only meal plan one meal of the day, I only do my damn dinners. Just take time on your day off to batch cook a bunch of shit to be able to eat for one meal throughout the week.

MAKE GOALS. I don't care if the goals you set seem shallow to you or not, make some fucking goals. Keep them on a list you can easily find, especially like on your phone. HELL, keep the list in SEVERAL ways, like a paper on your wall. I have another section planned for like examples and my own goals on down.

EXERCISE

AGAIN, start small. Don't go hog wild and try to do an hour a day at the gym to start; that's gonna burn you out and wear you down before you even get started. Also, you don't need a gym to exercise. If you never wanna step foot in a gym, you NEVER have to.

Start with a five to ten minute walk every other day. You don't like walking? Cool, get some cheap weights (or a kettlebell weight) and lift weights for 5-10 minutes. I just recently got a 5lb kettlebell on Amazon for like $8.55 after tax so I can start doing weighted exercises. (NOTE: don't start with big heavy weights. You'll fuck up your muscles and joints. You'll want to research what weight to start with first.)

I think it wassss two weeks of me walking for ten minutes every other day before I moved to 15 minutes? Now, in May, I can go for an hour at a leisurely pace.

My Routine:

45 minute-hour walk at LEAST 4 days a week.

One day of 30 minute power walking or walking-jogging intervals. I walk along the street I live on, and I do 1/3 of the way jogging, the rest walking.

At LEAST one day using resistance band exercises. Resistance bands are like $10 at Walmart, I recommend using a light one to start WHILE AT YOUR HEAVIEST WEIGHT. Resistance bands work by using your own body weight as the resistance, so it's best to start while you're still at the heaviest.

Hoping to work the kettlebell in on at least three days of the week, doing weighted HIIT exercises (high intensity training).

DIETARY CHANGES

The BIGGEST piece of advice I can give you is to make sustainable changes. The reason diet culture doesn't work is because you can't survive off of diet food for a long period of time, meaning you'll just regain the weight back once you return to a normal diet. Also, carbs are not bad for you. Unless a doctor specifically tells you to lower carb intake, PLEASE do not just suddenly decide to stop eating carbs as you can permanently damage your major internal organs.

Now, I am not on a diet, persay. The changes I've made I plan to keep for the rest of my life. Now, I can only tell you what I do, and not what you should do. I have some formal training in nutrition, and I can give you advice on what not to do, but again, I can mostly tell you what works for me.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY, HERE WE GO! I am on a low-sodium diet, meaning I do not add salt to shit. I use Accent, a shit ton of seasoning and spices, and I get my canned food no salt added when I can. I also mainly only eat turkey and chicken (mostly chicken), while beef and pork are like... a treat every once in a while. I also get low sodium canned tuna or like... actually good fish sticks. And, as I live on the Gulf Coast, I get fresh shrimp once or twice a month. I also do NOT add sugar to something unless it's a recipe for like bread to feed the yeast. I get canned fruit in 100% juice, or I get it frozen mostly. If I want to add something to make it sweet, I dump fruit in it. I've also recently been adding like... one packet of splenda ALONG WITH FRUIT to my oatmeal. Tastes p good, do not recommend splenda in coffee. Shit's nasty.

I am also a calorie counter and believer. The easiest way to think of calories is like... energy. One calorie is one unit of energy. I HIGHLY recommend using a couple of calorie calculators to help figure out your daily intake, and I use the My Fitness Pal app to keep track of what I eat, especially as I am prone to boredom eating and binge eating, as I do still struggle with disordered eating. I also keep an eye on my macros (protein, carbs, fats), as well as my cholesterol, sodium, and saturated fat levels.

So, what does Cy do for food? A lot but also... not very much, lol. I am a convenience bitch. I ain't here to cook several times a day and shit, I ain't got time for it. I be makin' shit as easy as possible.

I do often drink protein shakes before or after I walk or have an intense workout. You don't have to, just keep in mind you DO need high protein intake before or after working out, to help your muscles repair themselves. I get the cheap af Purely Inspired brand at Walmart, mix it with frozen fruit and milk in my blender.

PLEASE, GOD, DRINK WATER! Drink plenty of frickin water. Your body has to be hydrated and the more water you drink, the less water your body retains as extra. A bit weird, I know, but take it from me as I carry about 10-12 lbs of water weight a day, and it was a LOT more when I wasn't hydrating properly.

I meal prep one meal a week. It's dinner now, so I take a day I'm off, make a big batch of smth, and separate it into like 5-7 containers, freezing some and fridgerating the others. I post recipes and total costs over on @cylentlycrafting , and I get those cheap ass Mainstays meal prep containers. It's like $5 for 5 of em, and I have like... 3-4 sets.

The main meat I eat now is chicken, as it has the highest amount of protein across all meats. I also pretty much exclusively eat whole grain foods (brown rice, whole wheat bread, whole wheat or brown rice or quinoa pasta), and I keep instant brown rice and instant oats on hand. Listen, I'm an impatient ass mfer, I don't have 45 mins to cook some goddamn rice.

I also luv eggies. And cheese. And dairy. Though I typically get reduced fat dairy products, except milk. Reduced fat sour cream, reduced fat cheese, sometimes reduced fat yogurt, but I take any yogurt I can get my hands on.

I use a LOT of canned beans, peas, chickpeas, and tomatoes. I also get frozen broccoli, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, red potatoes, and carrots as far as veggies go. I also often get chopped romaine lettuce, carrot chips, grape tomatoes, and onions. That is the beginning and the end to the veggies I eat, and best be fucking sure I put red kidney beans and chickpeas in everything almost it. Broccoli, too. Tomatoes.

Fruit wise, I have a LOT of fruit cups and canned fruit in 100% fruit juice, frozen fruit, and I also have a thing for clementines lately. Been eating tf out of them.

Snackies wise, I usually get that big box of baked chips from Lays. Peanut butter and graham crackers. Dark chocolate. Power Crunch protein bars because PROTEIN BARS DON'T HAVE TO BE DISGUSTING!!!!!

I pretty much exclusively use olive oil, but canola oil is also pretty damn good if you're on a budget! Just avoid regular butter, that shit's got so much calories and fat in it.....

Listen, you don't have to go broke buying shit. I tend to allot more money to food than most people because I have a LOT of food issues, and because I commit hard to shit. I have olive oil mayo and butter replacements, I keep low sugar and low sodium ketchup, and I buy expensive ass Lucini tomato sauce. You don't have to. Like I also buy tater tots and off-brand coco puffs and mini wheats.

I have experimented with a LOT of brands in the past few months, which I will probably make another post about eventually? Maybe? Also more budget-friendly shopping hacks and shit given I be trying to save as much money as possible.

GOALS

Listen, like every big project, you need goals. Getting your body healthy is a big project, and you should make goals. Goals on why you want to get healthy, goals on why to keep going even when shit gets hard. I don't care if it's the most vain shit ever, if it's a goal it's a fucking goal.

Here are some of mine:

More clothing options. If I lose more weight, I will be able to fit into smaller sizes and have more choices on what to wear.

SELF CONFIDENCE

Feeling less embarrassed when eating out somewhere.

HEALTH. A large part of me always feeling shitty is my diet and lack of proper vitamins and nutrients.

Prediabetes. I don't want to be like my mom and papaw and have to poke myself multiple times a day nor be reliant on insulin.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The main things I can impress upon y'all:

Build sustainable habits. If you don't think you'd be able to do it for the rest of your life, maybe rethink the habit before it becomes too set in stone.

You're gonna fall off the horse sometimes. You're gonna cheat, you're gonna make slip ups. And that's okay. Don't feel guilty, don't overrestrict or punish yourself for it. You're human, and you're trying, and that's okay. You can only do as much as you're able to right here and right now.

It's a hard and long road. Getting healthy and fit isn't going to be a breeze in the park. This shit is hard, especially if you're building new habits from scratch. But you got this. YOU CAN DO IT.

You HAVE to want this for yourself. No one else can want it for you. It has to be on you and you alone.

You're gonna find people wanting to sabotage you, as horrible as it sounds. Sometimes people feel threatened when others attempt to better themselves, because that person or those persons know they wouldn't put the time or energy into doing so themselves. And, unfortunately, some of those people are your close friends and family :/

TRY NEW THINGS. FAIL AND KEEP GOING. I have tried so much shit in the last few months, and some has stuck, some has not. I have learned I do not like a lot of vegetables, and that's okay. I also make taco salad (from 'scratch') at least two to three times a month. What works, works!

You are going to bloat A LOT when you start amping up workouts. Your body holds extra water and nutrients for up to FOUR WEEKS after you start exercising or start a new exercise routine/build up on your existing one. This is to repair your muscles and joints as they grow.

Scales like to lie, and they won't tell you how much water weight you're holding. And yes, you will be able to tell you're bloated. I never knew of bloating until now and sometimes shit fits weird when I'm majorly bloated. It SUCKS

Measure yourself. Your stomach, chest, waist, hips. All of it. Keep it. It'll be amazing to see how much you've changed eventually.

I actually would LOVE to keep making posts like this. But, here's my current progress:

I am a little under 270 lbs, unsure of how much as I am starting and trying new exercises, as well as my new job being HELLA more active than my old one.

I do have more processed stuff in my diet, but i do try to balance it with healthier food, too. Budgeting is.... hard.

My blood pressure tends to run 110/70 now.

I hope this helps someone out there.

My heart rate has gone down from 100+ bpm, to now it's at 60-75 bpm.

I also drink diet soda now, usually one a day.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Food Prep

Fish pie - moderate success. Required more garlic, maybe some dill, definitely more filling in general because I have a feeling that their baking tray is smaller than mine. Still, definitely has potential. Not too spoon-intensive if you're using pre-made mashed potato, recipe will go up on the Spoonie Chef blog as soon as I've properly perfected it.

Chocolate chip cookie dough - again, moderate success. It's currently setting in the fridge so I can roll it into easy-slice tubes later. I mean, chocolate chip cookie dough is great because it'll keep and you can even freeze it, so you don't have to bake the whole batch all at once.

I have more snack ideas to implement tomorrow - mostly the old standby of rice krispie treats and maybe brownies. Possibly snickerdoodles. I just like to have the snacks around, y'know? And since I now have most of the ingredients for this stuff, might as well use it. I should put the recipe I use for rise krispie treats on the Spoonie Chef blog too, since it's a relatively easy thing and I kind of do the "by guess and by gosh" thing with the ingredients anyway.

Of course, I do have a little big of a logic puzzle to do about the various food-bits at this point. See, I know full well that fish doesn't keep particularly long, so I probably want to either eat the leftovers fast or put some of them in the freezer (which is a little ... erm ... crowded). However, while the chicken I bought could wait a couple of days (its use-by date is Tuesday), I'm not sure I can trust use-by dates on this shit and also, frankly, I will probably not have enough spoons on Tuesday to carve a chicken. So I guess chicken tomorrow with a lot of its leftovers going into the freezer for use in yet more batch cooking. Also I should cook it early so I have a decent amount of time to boil the carcass for stock. I have found to my delight that whoever reassured me that I should be striving for "the chicken jelly" was entirely spot-on, and it turns out I'm pretty damn good at getting stock to "chicken jelly" consistency. So ... yeah, between the stock, the sliced-up breasts, and two chicken leg quarters, I'm going to get aaaaaaaaaaall the best use out of that there chicken. And the herb garden, obviously. Because seriously, the treatment I give my roast chicken ends up with it being "literally falls off the bone" tender.

Don't mind me - I'm just very proud of myself sometimes. I may not remember to eat as often as I maybe should, but damn can I cook. Plus I can still cook at least partly on a budget, even though a lot of my food is more expensive because of dietary restrictions.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Wire - Pink Flag

This one is revolutionary. Wire were doing things in 77 that most bands wouldn't be trying for at least a couple of years. Punk moved so fast I. The 70s that it's a blur to track the evolution of the genre. By the time the first punk albums were being released in 76 the genre had already peaked for many first adopters and by 77 we were already seeing the first wave of post punk. Wire were definitely amongst those bands Ex Lion Tamer, Three Girl Rhumba, are very post punk. But they weren't content with just doing one thing where a lot of the album is very traditionally punk there are also a lot of songs that would hearken towards hardcore punk like Pink Flag and 12XU. 106 Beats That feels like a prototype noise rock song, Strange could easily be mistaken for some sort of British grunge, Fragile is basically the blueprint for alternative rock. I feel like you can divine a person's preferred punk subgenre based on their favorite track from this album.

Joy Division - Closer

Slightly more gothic than Unknown Pleasures and no less bleak. The more obviously personal a project becomes the closer it gets to unreviewable. This is Ian Curtis's suicide note. It sounds like a suicide note. Reading interviews about the recording sessions is harrowing. "We'd go to rehearsals and sit around and talk about really banal things. We'd do that until we couldn't talk about banal things any more, then we'd pick up our instruments and record into a little cassette player. We didn't talk about the music or the lyrics very much. We never analysed it." Bernard Sumner once recalled. This album is amazing but thinking too hard about it kinda terrifies me. I don't want to review Closer.

Brian Eno - Here Come The Warm Jets

After departing from Roxy Music Brian Eno decided to make the weirdest, most unpredictable piece of art glam he could. By far the most theatrical thing in his discography and one of few that is still tethered to the rock idiom, if only barely. Here Comes The Warm Jets is full of off beat vocal delivery and wild guitar tones. It will flit between rock n roll riffs, manic guitar solos courtesy of Robert Fripp, and hazy droning bits that are early predictors of shoegaze. And through it all Eno delivers vocals in the most off kilter cadence possible shifting from Frankie Valli falsetto to warbled crooning. This is kind of the final form of glam rock, you can't come back from it only move forward.

Sam Cooke - Portrait Of A Legend 1951-1964

Okay, I've been pretty hard on greatest hits so far but I'm gonna give this one a pass because most of Cooke's best works were originally released as non album singles. Sam Cooke's ability to absolutely nail the doo wop sound while also amassing a rock and roll fan base is amazing. He may be the crossover artist of all time. Cooke's biggest hits are without a doubt some of the catchiest songs of all time, I don't know whether I'm gonna have Cupid, Chain Gang, (What A) Wonderful World, or Another Saturday Night stuck in my head, but tomorrow morning imma be living with one or more of those on repeat.

Al Green - I'm Still In Love With You

I've talked about Al Green before and things haven't changed. He's one of, if not the, greatest vocalists of all time. Like all of his albums from this era it shows off his incredible range, going from low to falsetto with an ease that baffles me. It's unfortunately sandwiched between my two favorite Al Green albums so I definitely overlook it, but it's definitely worthwhile.

KISS - Alive!

KISS is potato chips. Is it high quality? Is it good for you? Who cares that's not why you eat potato chips. If you want some extremely stupid music about drinking, fucking, and the vague concept of 'rocking out' then this is the best your gonna get. It's high energy fun. It's camp. The best part is that this was released before their smash hit album Destroyer so you get all the early songs with good blues riffs and guitar solos instead of the dreadfully boring Detroit Rock City or, god forbid, Beth. This is so obviously the best KISS album.

Bill Withers - Just As I Am

Withers' debut leans more towards a folksy gospel feel than Still Bill's funk soul flavor. While I think it's less dynamic overall Just As I Am has plenty to offer. The hit, Ain't No Sunshine is a classic, and Withers turns the mediocre Beatles hit Let It Be into an amazing gospel number. But to me the biggest things this album has going for it is Grandma's Hands, a song that is just so beautiful.

ABBA - The Definitive Collection

Oh wow another greatest hits. I don't know if this is a hot take or not but I really like ABBA. I think they have like six albums that would be great choices for this list spot. At the very least ABBA, Arrival, Voulez-Vouz, and The Visitors are all fantastic albums start to finish. No need to pick out the hits and package them all together.

Neil Young - Tonight's The Night

When Young made On The Beach he poured despair into it, but only seemingly as a distraction from the even more profound despair that was Tonight's The Night. While recorded before On The Beach it was not released until after. The album is entirely about the death of two friends of Young's, Crazy Horse member Danny Whitten, and roadie Bruce Berry. The intensely personal nature of this album is apparent from the bleak lyrics, stripped down production, Young's constantly faltering voice, and even the album liner notes which state "I'm sorry. You don't know these people. This means nothing to you." When I was dismissive of On The Beach that was because this album exists. All the melancholy and anguish of On The Beach is just residue from Tonight's The Night. This is one of music most sincere and pure expressions. The fact that the entire rest of Young's discography is not rendered irrelevant by this album is nothing short of a miracle.

New York Dolls - s/t

I am once again positing a potential starting point for punk rock. The combination of glam aesthetics with the 50s rock and roll musicianship is one of the more obvious influences on the evolution of punk. Very extremely silly lyrics are coupled with riffs that are basically all ripped from Chuck Berry songs. The result is an album with a constant manic energy that's as fun as it is infectious.

[the-firebird69]

There are a couple things we can mention

-Trump's fleet that came out trying for Earth has been cut and more than half it started out at about 450 billion and now it is down to about 190 billion and it is getting cut down quite steadily not as fast they have some big chips and big weapons and they're trying to use them and it shut down each time and they throw like madness they'll all hit all at once in one area so it's slowed down and they are making them rude comments when they heat up to get hit but we anticipate them trying to move shortly and then sitting on the radio and we do our number then greatly

-the other fleet was at 750 billion early this morning very early now it's at about 490 billion roughly I'm told $450 billion that is small compared to Tommy f he is pretty big out there I think we know what will happen there's been communications from bja to Saturn in a penny and they can't help it they need help finishes we're not doing any good here and he said that their friends in the forgieners will go in and they will and he went over to evidence and said we believe they will but that's in the way it's just a mess in your face both so he is preparing to break away a very decent size Force and that Force is going to be attacking Tommy f not Trump they're moving out shortly to try and sign up and it's not too far to go they have around 3 or 400 billion ships and I guess we'll see when they come out other companies are going with them the miscellaneous Max and a hundred billion and Trump's forces at about 200 billion so it's about $700 billion but they would be joining up with about 500 billion really is $600 billion and that's 1.3 trillion every facing 2.5 trillion they might call their Force back that still has about 280 billion it's that force was pretty big now this is going to happen in the next 20 minutes possibly to fight Tommy f and they're rolling the pseudo empire has only about 100 billion.

These factors in a couple more make today humongous. These pseudo empire is moving down but boy do they suck they really are not uncorking really they're not filtering out the silt they don't plan to they don't believe it and stuff like that they just look at a couple of tunnels it went untouched and they're really gross there's some older ones and the ships are gone and they're still in there around Florida is three of those and they're only a year older but the muck is stirred up in the acids all over them and it's a simple study and we are going to have to move down now and the max too and they might do it first that's a wait and see thing and also

-these idiots are going to fight each other Tommy f and the idiots and our son and daughter side coming we saw it a long time ago but for them to see it's pretty good and they said that they're using these morons against us in order to get positioning that they need them calling the fleet out of Saturn it's not really ideal and because foreigners will move in but they are splitting the foreign fleet and that's the bad thing too so it is the empire and they are doing it and so we have to find ways to use these idiots against them all I can think of is taking the shifts and that's what they're using it for and to take the planets and the groups responsibility for their fruition especially Trump and people like him that's what we're noting and yeah they're divided and that's the empire's work

-couple of things these Sonos kids here need a lesson and a big one we need to stop fooling around with them and take them down and throw them out this battle might be a reason why things are going to change or how they're not evenly matched but Tommy will have damage on his Force oh it's two to one and the warlocks don't have anything great they have a lot of people have been sitting there might be aggressive but we think that they will like Tommy f feel it and out of his 2.5 trillion you might lose half a billion but he's good to gain all those chocolate chips Thor prayer

[businessconsiderations]

188.6 lb

Right on goal after 5 five weeks:

My wife is down a lot of lb too, she is doing great, I can't stress enough how awesome this is, how good this feels. I can't believe how well we did last week, me at my mom's in OH, her in FL on her own.

Last week, my mom and extended family being Catholic, me and the kids not anymore, it was sort of funny to see how they "fasted" on Friday in Lent. I don't eat until 11:30a, made myself eggs with peppers, onions and the rest of the Italian sausage I only get when I'm in Youngstown. I did not feel bad about eating meat on a Friday. My mom ordered all sorts of pizzas without meat for lunch. Before that, she had a spread of shrimp, crackers and cheese, chips and pretzels for her guests. She put out cinnamon rolls and oreo balls for dessert. Before people left, she offered a second dessert of ice cream sundaes. I get the symbolism of going without meat on a Friday as a sort of sacrifice, but whatever that Lenten Friday was, it wasn't exactly a sacrifice.

I ran in the cold OH weather, 5 times, 18.9 miles. I want to run longer and faster and accomplish all sorts of race goals but keep my eyes on the weight loss prize. Tons of walking with my wife still, she's on a huge 10k steps per day streak, I keep helping her hit that.

Still 16/8, still 11:30a to 7:30p, still lower carb, last travel week resulted in a few extra carbs again, no big deal. No alcohol for 35 days now, no cheese for 14 days. Thinking of adding back shredded cheese with the occasional meal but still cooling it on snacking on cheese slices, we'll see. Funny, back in OH, didn't really have to explain the no alcohol thing, no one cared. But I had to explain why I wasn't eating cheese over and over and over.

Lost 1.3 pounds this week, right on goal now, early surplus is gone. Have to admit to myself, losing 1.5 pounds per week going forward ain't gonna be easy, I need to stay focused.

Daily eating grades: Mon A-, Tue B+, Wed A-, Thu B, Fri A-, Sat A-, Sun B. EGPA of 3.43, pretty amazing performance for a travel week back to OH, likely my best ever. Back home in FL, back to hecticness of soccer schedules making dinner difficult, ending with Easter on Sunday. Plenty of chances to fail, but I can do this, we can do this.

[thedaveandkimmershow]

So our vacation.

It's actually a wedding anniversary celebration vacation that Kimmer conjured into a full-blown travel itinerary. The only hiccup was that she booked a flight for Sunday morning the 10th at a reasonable time in the morning that got moved to 6.

That is, 6AM.

Back-timing from that, boarding would be 530AM, we'd wanna be through TSA by 445AM at the latest, we'd wanna roll into the Dog Fox parking lot by 415AM at the latest, we'd have to leave home by 330AM at the latest, we'd have to be awake by 3 at the latest already fully packed ready to go which probably has my obnoxious phone alarm (the one I only use for serious travel mornings) going off at 245 with my normal alarm teeing off at 230.

Yeah. That's all pretty much a massive NOPE.

So instead Kimmer books us into a room at the DoubleTree near the airport Saturday night the 9th. We've already been low-key packing our bags for about a week so Saturday during the day ends up being a breeze of getting ready.

We do have one final To Do of the day which we can do after we leave the house. Linzy has a gig Saturday night and needs to borrow a car to transport herself and her gear to the venue. Since we're heading her way anyway, we leave the house at 4 and drop the car in one of the Northgate Mall parking lots. Linzy already has the key and she can light rail out to the Northgate Transit Station on her own, grab the car, pick up her gear at the house, and finally...

Drive to the gig.

No sweat.

We brought both cars, of course so, having dropped the one at Northgate, I join Kimmer in the other, navigating away from I-5 'cause its a mess, instead pretty much following Aurora all the way down to the DoubleTree, passing the south end of Sea-Tac along the way.

By the time we're settled in our room two floors up overlooking Bow Lake Reservoir, it's coming up on 6 and we've got chocolate chip cookies we're snacking on. Apparently, the DoubleTree's in the habit of giving guests a lovely chocolate chip cookie upon checking in and we were no different. The only thing is Kimmer's allergic to nuts so she couldn't have her cookie which she then handed to me.

Not so fast, says the guest service agent, who steps away for a moment and returns with a pair of packaged, nut-free, no exposure to nuts chocolate chip cookies. Which is how we both wound up with two.

So we get back to the room and she says "we're going to save one for tomorrow morning." However, once she's had her one, she changes her mind and has the second. Following suit, I have my second as well.

Which is how we end up having Saturday nights' dessert before Saturday night's dinner. ☺️

We brought our dinner with us, by the way. Just like the early days of our travels together, Kimmer packed one of our bags with breakfasts and lunches and a dinner for this first night. Easy stuff. She put ice packs in there as well which was a good thing since, even though our hotel in Orlando would have a refrigerator in our room, the DoubleTree... does not.

Now, while this is a wedding anniversary celebration vacation, Kimmer is quite in school for her doctorate and is gonna have homework plus two hour-long online lectures, all along the way. This first night is no different. So she sets about her reading and homework while I set about—

Okay.

We're honorary grandparents to the son and daughter of dear friends. I had an idea earlier in the week that I would take a small toy or nicknack belonging to one of the kids with us on this trip and, each day, take a photograph or two (or three) that includes the object in question somewhere in the photo. Unfortunately, our schedules never sync up so I improvise with an object Kimmer's nephew had 3D printed.

While Kimmer sets about her reading and homework, then, I set about photographing the view from our deck as well as a hero shot of the green tugboat so the kids will know what they're looking for (because we're not always gonna make it easy). After that, I set about some writing and then start in on a book I've been meaning to read, THEM Why We Hate Each Other—And How To Heal by Ben Sasse, the former senator from Nebraska. It's a serious read for me. A highlighter kind of read.

By 'n by, we emerge from our bubbles to call it an early evening as we still have a 530AM boarding to make.

Even so, we catch a healthy bit of Back to the Future 3 before shutting our eyes.

Thus endeth the day before the day we leave.

[soletlunasims]

There are two rules in Gunnar's house.

1. Use your manners

and

2. Don't talk about her.

The latter of which being the more important one. Gunnar knew enough still about Ares' current affairs thanks to Caleb because he seemed to always forget this rule. (Though, he was pretty sure Caleb didn't really forget so much as disregard it as a desperate attempt to get Gunnar to talk about her himself)

Still, he cared for Caleb. He didn't want to shut him out. He had always been there for him and Bowie. He understood how important Chip was to both of them. Caleb wasn't a bad man.

But why did Gunnar feel like Caleb was being a bad man?

Gunnar *under his breath*: "Dammit.... Asshole. Ugh."

He sat in front of the chess table in the hallway. As silly as it was, he was pondering his next move.... Literally.

Gunnar: "I could definitely just show up.... No, but that defeats the purpose of my 'ever again' statement to her..... But I told HER not to seek ME out.... She never said anything about me going to see her...."

Gunnar spent hours deliberating with himself.

Gunnar: "Ugh... This is toxic..... So toxic..... I can't go. I'm not gonna do this."

The next day, Bowie finds Gunnar sitting on his bed after his school lessons with the neighbors were done.

Bowie: "Hey, dad. I'm ready for my fishing lesson. We got done with my other lessons early today."

Gunnar smiles at him and pats the bed.

Gunnar: "Come here for a second."

Bowie does. Gunnar squeezes him tight.

Gunnar: "I love you. I'm very proud of you...."

Bowie gives his dad a curious look.

Bowie: "I know, Dad. Is everything okay?"

Gunnar let him go. He gave him a questioning look in return.

Gunnar: "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

Bowie still wasn't sure and Gunnar could tell he wasn't buying it.

Gunnar: "Well.... Okay. There's one small thing but it isn't a problem, really..... How would you feel about having Carrie spend the weekend here while I take a little business trip?"

Bowie: "Business trip? For work, then? Where are they sending you?"

Gunnar wasn't expecting questions like that coming from Bowie. Did he even know any geography? He assumed the neighbors taught him a little bit.

Gunnar: "....Tartosa."

Bowie: "Is it far?"

Gunnar let out a relieved sigh. Bowie didn't know that much about geography, after all.

Gunnar: "Not too far. We are just taking a boat out there to assist some other fisherman with water samples that they need to send in to get tested for any toxins that might be in the water."

Bowie, being a kid, asks the question all parents dread.

Bowie: "but why?"

Gunnar resisted rolling his eyes.

Gunnar: "People rely on the fish for food. Especially in Tartosa. It's pretty much their main protein. If the water is toxic, the fish aren't edible."

Bowie starts to buy it.

Bowie: "Okay, dad. If it's important work, I can't be sad that you are going to be so far away. I do love spending time with Carrie. It'll be fun. Just don't be gone too long."

Gunnar: "Don't worry. I will be back so fast, you won't even notice I was gone!"

Bowie seems okay with it. Gunnar has a new problem. He needs to ask Carrie if she can actually watch Bowie. Part of him hopes she says no. If that was the case, Gunnar would have to call this whole stupid idea off and just stay home. He also didn't feel good about lying to Bowie.

Later that night, Bowie was having a hard time sleeping. So he found himself crawling into Gunnar's bed and trying to get as much sleep as he could.

He was not sure about his dad being so far away. When your world is small, the unknown is all the more terrifying.

[cdevroe]

Will my next Mac be my last Mac?

Perhaps you’ve had this experience… you walk into a place of business and see the computer and software they use to do their scheduling, billing, and ordering and you notice they are decades old. But, have you seen how productive they are? More often than not they are so fast that the computer has a hard time keeping up with their inputs.

This idea keeps rolling around in my head that I could purposely construct a similar situation for myself on my personal computer.

Could my next Mac be the last Mac I ever need to buy? And can I run the same software on it for decades allowing me to become even more productive than I am today? What would I gain? What would I lose?

On average I buy a new Mac every 5 years or so. Each time I’ve upgraded to a new Mac I keep the old Mac around for at least an additional 5 years. The laptop my wife currently uses for Zoom is a Mac from 2012 and we see no reason to replace it anytime soon.

Macs last. And the technology inside is so capable these days - especially the M series chips - that I’m beginning to wonder if I will ever need to upgrade after I purchase my next Mac. And that sort of excites me.

I currently use a 2019 16” MacBook Pro. It has an 8-core 2.4 GHz i9 Intel processor with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and an 8GB Radeon Pro 5500M graphics chip. It also has a terabyte of flash storage. In 2019 this Mac cost $4,200. I am very happy with this computer. For my day-to-day work I have more than enough resources. There is very little reason to upgrade this computer for many, many years to come.

Though, having the M-series all day battery life, rather than the dismal 2 hours I get now, is a huge temptation.

Battery life aside, though, I could conceivably use this computer until 2024 (which would be my average) or even 2029 which would be my stretch goal.

So, let’s say I keep my average streak going and I buy a new Mac in 2024 or 2025. That would mean I’ll likely end up with an M3 or M4 series chip from Apple. I like the idea of that because those chips will be multiple iterations in on their already well regarded chipset. And some of the M1 series chips will be nearly 5 years old at that time so we will see if they have similar longevity to the Intel chips. If I were able to hold out until 2029 the benefits would be even greater. If I plan to spend a similar amount of money on my next Mac, is there a possibility I can plan on keeping it for the rest of my life?

Why would I want to do that? I’m only 42 and I plan on trying to live at least 4 more decades. Could I possibly have a Mac that would run for 40 years?

Let’s talk about the current trajectory of software.

I’m a little worried about software these days. The best software ever written may already be in our past. Modern day app frameworks that are full of bloat, the overwhelming demand for cloud-first apps that barely work without an internet connection, and the ability to create truly great user interfaces seems to be dying — all of these factors add up to an uncertain future in software from my point of view.

The rapid march of software progress can be an exhausting thing as you get older. What if I was to just stop updating my software? As it stands today, I really love my Mac. macOS Catalina (I haven't updated to Ventura yet) is pretty good — arguably not the best it has ever been, but certainly very good — and many of the apps I use day to day allow me to be very productive. I feel superhuman on my Mac with the current software it is running. And the programming languages I use; PHP, JavaScript, a bit of AppleScript or Swift, work amazingly well on my Mac.

To illustrate this point, in just about a month of early weekday mornings I wrote my own static site generator in PHP from scratch to build this site you’re reading now. It works remarkably well. It builds tens of thousands of files in just seconds. And my code isn’t very good. How much more productive do I need to get?

I could lose this superpower. Software will change. macOS is likely to become more restrictive. Programming languages will be deprecated. The keyboard and mouse may be replaced with gestures, voice, and eye movements. Which is all well and good for the next generation of users. In order to stay productive in my work and hobbies (photography, software development, and blogging) I think having a platform that stays in relative stasis over the next 4 decades could be an incredible asset.

I also think about large data sets like my photo library. Each time Apple releases an update of macOS I feel a pit in my stomach that they may change something that will completely blow away years of my cataloging work. They’ve done it before and I’d be naive to think it couldn’t happen again. Which is why I’ve developed my own workflow. I want my photo library to work until I die. And I don’t want to spend another minute redoing it.

The prospect of possibly having a computing platform that stays relatively the same for the rest of my life and prioritizes good usability, speed, reliability, and saving data locally to disk is very exciting. And it may just be that the only way I can ensure that I will have that is by stopping time and refusing to keep up with the latest technology.

--

It appears I'm not alone. While I've been thinking about this topic over the last several weeks, I've noticed others expressing similar sentiments in a variety of ways. I've only made note of a few of them. Such as Ev Williams wants to keep his small phone, Paul Stamatiou would like an old Powerbook to write on, Dan Rubin and Joe Van Cleave use typewriters every day, Jeremy Keith has expressed opinions about frontend web development getting out of hand. None of these people are saying exactly what I'm saying. But all of them are sort of part of the same milieu - people that have been around in computing for a long time sort of wishing for how we used to do things. In 5 or 10 more years perhaps we will long for how we did things today.