#The Metatron is pregnant

[the-metatron]

My Episode on the Maury Show aired last night at 3am. In case you missed it, here are some highlights:

Three possibilities eliminated, but still more test results to be revealed. Stay tuned, Metuals!

[enoch-the-human]

wait if methuselah's mom was mama ru (or another drag queen) how does that work??? did you birth him yourself???

Yes.

[catwouthats]

I want to preface this by saying I have a really good pattern recognition and took a film class before .

I NEVER WANTED TO LEARN THIS INFORMATION OR HAVE THIS THEORY!!

Anyways, because people are confused about the theory of Gabriel somehow having the second coming of Christ (and also why I think some of the book of Revelation will be included in Good Omens 3), I thought I’d put my evidence here.

Once again I’d like to formally apologize and this is your last warning.

You will lose all sanity past this point just like i did.

(TLDR; only read what’s in bold and look at the pictures)

When it comes to why I think season 3 might be based off of Revelation slightly, there isn’t that much evidence. (Unfortunately there is more evidence for the other part.)

First of all we have Metatron mentioning the second coming of Christ before they get on the elevator. Now for those of you who don’t know the second Coming of Christ is part of Revelation! (Also, Metatron did not bother to try and stop Gabriel from leaving… which I find suspicious…)

Where “Christ 2.0” is mentioned in Revelation? Well the Revelation is not straight forward. Some think of the Second Coming of Christ as whom was mentioned in Revelation 14:14-16 (in this chapter he comes down from the heavens and chops off heads) and some think of The Second Coming of Christ as who was mentioned in Revelation 19:11-16 (in this chapter he comes down from the heavens and helps put two of the false prophets in hellfire). For Chapter 14, they call the being “the son of man”, which is the same title people use for Jesus. For chapter 19, there is “King of Kings, Lord of Lords” tattooed on his thigh, which is what some people call God.

Luckily, considering the main point of Good Omens is to show that love and life matters most, I don’t think they will do exactly what those chapters say.

Neil also said that he got inspiration from Genesis and Revelation here: https://www.tumblr.com/neil-gaiman/728173029401788416/hi-neil-gaiman-i-would-like-to-know-if-good-omens

Side note, another reason I feel they will use some of Revelation:

Now on to the Unfortunate truth. Proof/foreshadowing that Gabriel will have the Second Coming of Christ. (Again I want to formerly apologize to both the fandom and Neil Gaiman.)

So what started this is Chapter 12 of Revelation. In chapter 12 someone is pregnant in the sky/heavens/space and gives birth to a special child. Before that child is eaten by a monster, an Angel comes in and takes the Baby away and brings the baby to God. This is why I think this is the same being as the second coming mentioned before. He was taken care of by God and raised in Heaven.

But he was also born in space…

And unfortunately for us ineffable bureaucracy is in space. And although they aren’t human, there are actually a lot of references throughout Good Omens 1 and 2 that associate Gabriel with birth and sex.

But before i get into that, I want to preface all this. I know this might upset some of you all because you might also have had the head cannon of them being asexual. To that I say, don’t worry I don’t think anything sexual will actually happen. They are kind of dumb (when it comes to human affairs) supernatural beings whom can perform miracles. A lot of this is just dramatic irony used to make us laugh and to possibly hint at the future.

So here is all the evidence of Gabriel having a kid so far (I will edit it if more comes up):

1) When he says he was there for the creation/birth of Eve in the garden. Why in the world would that be an important thing to mention? For what reason did God want him there? Why did God want him to see how to make a human?

2) The fact he is the same Angel who delivered the message to Mary that she was pregnant with Jesus. You can see this in Luke 1:26. While, this is not mentioning Good Omens I feel it is important to point out. Also, I think it would be funny if Mary was able to pull an Uno reverse card (and a +2 card because it would be the 2nd coming) and tell GABRIEL that he was gonna have the child.

Not to mention there are even more similarities between the two of them (which I mention later.) I think it shows them as having something more in common rather than just being in eachother a story…

3) The fact he was also there for the “birth” of 3 of Lot’s kids. Yet another moment of human creation that God insisted he’d be a part of.

6) The tomatoes falling in front of him as he walked to Aziraphale’s Bookshop (they did a close up which usually is a “pay attention” sign) because apparently tomatoes are a sign of fertility. (Also if you look at the extended edition of Gabriel’s arrival you will see that the tomato pile seeming bubbled up like it was multiply as he walked by.)

Not only that, but some studies show that tomatoes can cure infertility. And considering we know that angels do not at first have any reproductive organs, I think it’s safe to say that this symbolism could show how he is no longer infertile. (Link: https://www.nicswell.co.uk/health-news/tomatoes-and-fertility )

7) Everyone assumed he was a stripper that Aziraphale hired. Nina thought it was Aziraphale’s ”naked man friend” he hired. And the people around him even took pictures of him nude. They didn’t even bother to call the police they were in such awe.

The fact that they didn’t call the police or weren’t really disgusted (but rather many were quite turned on if you look at the symbolism) is very interesting to me. It reminds me of the story of Lot in the Bible. Two Angels visit Lot (in sodom and Gomorrah) and a huge crowd of people forms outside his house. The angels were so charismatic and hot that everybody wanted to do them, and that is why they were crowding around Lot’s house. I wish I was joking, but I’m not!

8) All the people that flirted with him at the ball to which he said something along the lines of “I learned something new about this body last night in bed” and also “want me to show you?”

As my friend on tiktok (cloverthegrand) said “something something Gabriel was [probably] purposefully made to be very attractive to attract a partner to fulfill the second coming requirements.”

9) He likes hot cocoa and chocolate is sort of an aphrodisiac, which is something that supposedly “turns you on”. And yes, chocolate is still a symbol of love even without it’s aphrodisiac qualities.

(Link: https://www.simplychocolate.com/learn-chocolate-aphrodisiac )

10) When they have sushi (fish), Gabriel is always(?) there. When they are in he restaurant in season 1 and at the Ball in season 2. Fish is a sign of fertility in a couple cultures like in judaism, some Native American tribes, and Celtic culture. 

(Links: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/an-abundance-of-fish/ and https://www.atshq.org/fish-symbolism/ )

11) This is quite controversial, but the fact that Gabriel planned basically to show up to beelzebub completely naked is quite… odd. He probably doesn’t understand the complexities of this and what it means (or would mean to humans), yet it is still an odd flag that I feel could show us a hint. And once again, I would like to remind you all that this is not me saying that they aren’t asexual. I still firmly believe that they are both aroace spec because they are/were Angels!

12) The “I’m in the fly” on the bottom of the box that Gabriel brought is also quite funny to me. Gabriel and Beelzebub sure did not get the joke, but I know some of the audience (including me) had one Hell of a time laughing at that dramatic irony/pun! And once again it is another this that associates Gabriel with the creation of kids.

13) “Everyday” being beelzebub and Gabriels song -despite also being described by Terry and Neil as an apocalyptic song- is also interesting to me. I feel it could show that somehow their love and their romance is the start of this second apocalypse or maybe even the center of it. It’s slightly scary to me that Neil didn’t wait to use Everyday for season three, yet instead started using it here for a romance.

14) All the good luck symbolism for Gabriel.  Gabriel got really lucky the season. Whether with a Aziraphale and Crowley and his memory or how everything around him went. It was as if it was perfectly planned. And it was! There were a lot of symbols for good luck, always surrounding Gabriel to make sure no harm came his way (such as the Garlic, onions, cabbage, and plum tree at Gabriel’s arrival. Also the color blue, hearts, and lions.) I feel this shows just how important and essential Gabriel is to SOMETHING. Something probably bigger than he knows.

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure I remember Neil Gaiman once saying on Tumblr that he made Gabriel more of a character in season one of good omens because he was important to the next part of the story. This season definitely showed us just how important Gabriel really is (to my unfortunate mental decline.)

15) Cows. This one isn’t that big considering it is just two framed images of cows in the background while Beelzebub and Gabriel order at the bar, but I included it anyways. Cows represent fertility and strength (yippee 😐)

16) Gabriel is wearing the same blue at the Ball as Sitis(kind of) and as The Virgin Mary! They all have big blue thingy. This shows they are similar… somehow (*cough* miraculous births/“births” *cough*)

Bonus: The Proof is in the Pudding!… or at least the side dish. Here is some evidence from the extended editions/cut scenes:

A) In the extended edition of Gabriel’s arrival:

Aa) Lemon symbolism. In the extended edition, you can see an old man holding a lemon, while standing in front of a pile of tomatoes on the table. The pile of tomatoes then later, bubbles up, as if multiplying, and falls down on the floor, overtaking him and his lemon.  lemons can symbolize loyalty to one other person in a sexual or romantic relationship and they were also used as a form of birth control, but consider the tomatoes -what fixes infertility- went past that man I think it’s safe to say that is no longer a thing.



Ab) Flowers. Honestly this is not that important because flowers have many different meanings (I mainly did this for fun; not all of the flowers support this theory). But mainly people use flowers to give to someone they love. Also, flowers in General (specifically Lilies and Roses) are commonly associated with the Virgin Mary. Let me quickly go over the flowers/plants in this shot that I could identify.

Black eyed Susans - encouragement, motivation, endurance, and justice

White Roses - purity, youthfulness, innocence, eternal loyalty, and new beginnings

Yellow Roses - friendship and joy

Pink Roses - elegance, refinement, sweetness, and femininity

Green Roses or Green Chrysanthemum? (I can’t tell which it is from a distance) - chrysanthemum-good fortune, rebirth, renew, and good health. Rose-renewal, fertility, growth, abundance, and rejuvenation

Eucalyptus - strength, protection, abundance, and the division between Heaven and Earth

Wreaths - not a flower I know, but they do symbolize some important things. Fertility, life after death, life, and Jesus dying and coming back

(Links (This is not all of them because I got tired): https://fiftyflowers.com/blogs/flowers/rose-color-meanings#:~:text=White%20roses%20symbolize%20purity%2C%20youthfulness,for%20weddings%20and%20romantic%20occasions. And https://blossmcart.com/blog/chrysanthemum-meaning-and-symbolism/#:~:text=Green%20chrysanthemums%20symbolize%20good%20fortune,love%2C%20longevity%2C%20and%20joy. )

Ac) THE HOSE POORING WATER INTO THE PURSE! OH MY GOSH DID THIS SHOT SURPRISE ME IN THE EXTENDED EDITION! Also they even did a close up of it so you know it’s important! This is on the nose fornication. The hose representing a pp, the purse representing somethings that “purrs”, and the water representing… human male milk. The hose fills up the purse and makes it wet in these shots.

This could just be them showing more of how everyone is thirsting after Gabriel, but than again… why specifically Gabriel? And why something so specifically representing conception?

B) In the cut scene at The Ball

Ba) The nut allergy. In one of the cut scenes Justine has a nut allergy and asks Gabriel if any of the appetizers have nuts in them. I love to interpret this as them saying they are a lesbian because of their emphasis on all nuts. I especially love this because (assumingly) the people before them were flirting with him and they weren’t (probably because he looks like a male human.)

Bb) The fact Gabriel has no idea what nuts are and asks what they taste like. It seems very innocent in the scene, but if I saw that scene back to back of the “I learned something new in bed last night” I would definitely assume that was on purpose for many reasons. And considering all the other times Gabriel is associated with sex, I think I am gonna interpret it this way. He is a very innocent Angel though (literally).

[EDITS: The bit on the side (more evidence that I unfortunately can’t add imagery for because I’ve reached my limit on this Tumblr post):

-the pornography bit in s1

-the fact Gabriel is sort of fixated on having a nice body (exercising, looking at the statue of himself)

-the way his statue holds a cross the similar to how The Virgin Mary holds a cross in images (at least at times where she is holding one)

-The fact that there is also a lot of imagery of the Virgin Mary putting her hands cross over her chest, which is similar to how Gabriel does when Aziraphale and Crowley ask to hold his hands in s2

-him “being a Virgin” being the butt of a lot of the sexual jokes. I put being a virgin in quotes because I actually have a very depressing theory about this. He most definitely did not just miracle genitals right before seeing Beelzebub, otherwise the Angels would’ve gotten a notification as he was leaving that he did that considering they were looking at his file. That means he’s had that for a while. We know he has something down there because of the crowds reaction to him being naked after he puts down the box. 

-Neil said “we will never know” when asked if Gabriel made “the effort” down there… this isn’t evidence I just find this hilarious (Link https://www.tumblr.com/neil-gaiman/725238480054239232/hey-neil-i-dont-know-if-this-question-has )

-Neil offered the name Gabriel to someone that was naming an incubator in their lab https://www.tumblr.com/neil-gaiman/727942479466430464/i-need-help-naming-lab-equipment-i-work-in-a-lab

-

Do I think all of this evidence means Gabriel will give BIRTH? Not exactly, I mean he could just miracle a child by pulling of one of his ribs and gathering Star dust around it to shape the body. However, I do think there is a high possibility that Gabriel will somehow raise or make The Second coming of Christ (or just any child) in Good Omens 3.

And on the contrary, to all of what I said, some of the other angels and demons could also be associated with fertility (ex: stars, sand and fish as symbolism for fertility. Aziraphale has scenes with stars, sand and fish). However, in my opinion, it is not to the degree that Gabriel is associated with things like sex, birth and the Virgin Mary. He is CONSTANTLY being associated with it (even if it’s not on purpose) throughout the series. They could just be making sex jokes with Gabriel because it’s funny (and because it’s John Hamm who is/was apparently a sex symbol), but we’ll never know until season 3 I guess!

I doubt this all will help in my plea to be not weird on tumblr, considering I shared the evidence now, but it’s better than sounding like somebody who just said “archangel Gabriel mpreg” just for the fuck all.

[g00brielandbeez]

zo the metatron is fucking pregnant???

[ao3cassandraic]

Angels, demons, language, and culture: part 3

(Part 1 and Part 2 for those interested.)

"I play an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else, it’s like playing poker in a pitch dark room with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules and who smiles all the time." --God, Good Omens

This is just. Creepy and awful and so, so wrong for a quasi-omnipotent being. Ugh. Good Omens!God is an abject horror.

But if you're one of the poker players at that table, what do you do? You try to figure out the rules and mark the cards, naturally. Especially if leaving the table only happens via swan dives into burning sulphur, or getting kicked out of the only home you've known into a hostile desert with lions in it. While pregnant, yet.

So, I did a Bat Mitzvah back in the day, as it happens, and my Torah portion was from Deuteronomy. Which is, as I am hardly the first to notice, chockablock full of rules. Good Omens definitely leveraged (rather than inventing) the idea of trying to figure out Her rules and codify them in writing! Note, however, that the Bible per Word of Gaiman is a human thing. Codifying divine rules? Therefore also a human thing, minus I suppose the Ten Commandments -- though I can certainly envision a Good Omens in which Moses was, um, not exactly telling the truth about the source of the tablets; we only really have his word for it.

Angels and demons, who have a low opinion of literacy and just generally don't seem to be very good at it, never did this. We see that Aziraphale, Before the Beginning, has intuitively figured a few rules out: don't question Her, don't comment on (much less critique) Her decisions or designs, don't ever ever piss Her off. The Starmaker hasn't gotten this far, tragically, and our Crowley remains confused throughout the show as to what rule he can possibly have broken that earned him the identity-changing torture She inflicted on him.

Fundamentally, Crowley doesn't want to -- perhaps can't -- believe that She is capricious and cruel. He thinks there are rules, "don't test to destruction" being a major one. We know he's wrong, however. She straight-up told us so, in the quote at the top of this post! Aziraphale, too, knows, though he buries this knowledge as deep under the words "ineffable" and "Great Plan" (there is no Great Plan, She told us so, it's all a game to Her) as he possibly can -- I think as a coping mechanism -- and does his best to avoid drawing Her attention again after the Sword Incident.

But we see angelic and demonic confusion about the rules of Her game again and again. It's at the root of Aziraphale's successful Great Plan/Ineffable Plan hairsplitting at the airbase. It's why Aziraphale has to (with Muriel's help) dig through the contract for Job, and why Gabriel and Michael can't even be arsed to, even revising Job's reward on the fly. They're guessing! They're guessing about the rules based on what they've seen of Her caprices! She likes sevens!

It's how Crowley rules-lawyers the demons into letting the Whickber Street tradespeople go. If there are actual rules of Heaven-Hell engagement -- and there may not be! Crowley's pulled plausible-sounding lies out of his arse before! -- I'll bet you anything you like practically nobody in Heaven or Hell has actually read them. (My top picks for rules-of-engagement authors, if those rules actually do exist, would be Satan and the Metatron.)

And it's why Uriel has to ask the Metatron, as unsure and afraid as Uriel has ever looked in the entire series, whether the remaining archangels have done something wrong. The Metatron's response refuses to clarify what's at issue -- he, like Her, won't tell anybody the rules. If I'm feeling extremely cynical, I think She and he refuse to explain the rules because they're more powerful if there's no rulebook that rank-and-file angels can use to contest them with.

It makes me so sad. The legions of Heaven would assuredly have followed Her rules, if they only knew what those rules were! Fanart of the just-fallen Starmaker routinely breaks my susceptible heart, not least because the commonest expressions on his face are agony, sorrow -- and confusion. It's just all so damn unfair.

Same with Job, and Peter Davison sells it beautifully. Poor Job assumes he must have broken Her rules somehow, and blames himself for not even knowing how. That's totally on Her, though! If Her rules aren't clear enough for righteous Job to be able to trust his own righteousness under a horrible test, that's Her fault, not his!

The closest that Heaven and Hell -- and humanity, for that matter -- have to Her rules is prophecy. I probably don't need to spill many pixels on how vague and confusing prophecy is, how often it's counterfeited, and how pointless it is to try to live your life by (or trying to avoid) true prophecies; prophecies will invariably gotcha you. Good Omens is hardly the first work of literature to point this out. (Try the story of Oedipus. That's a good one. Yeesh. Or, if we want to be all Biblical about it, Moses again.) Agnes Nutter may well be the only genuinely well-meaning prophet in the entire history of prophets! Even so, her book is incredibly bewildering! Generations of her descendants try to figure it out, and mostly they fail -- look at the annotations we see on Anathema's index cards.

So when @thundercrackfic asks me what Aziraphale gets out of books, my first (though not only) answer is "rules for living." Not just rules for living as safely as possible around Her, though -- rules for living among humans, too. I headcanon (and posited in "Endgame") that Aziraphale has been collecting human etiquette manuals as long as humans have been writing etiquette manuals. Codified rules, like the ones in Deuteronomy, likely help him feel more secure.

I think this is also why Muriel characterizes books as portable people. Muriel is trying their sweet adorable best to figure out the Earth rules on the fly, since nobody Upstairs told them (or indeed knows, the Metatron aside) what those rules are. They do have Aziraphale to help them along -- Aziraphale is so much better than Upstairs! he doesn't condescend or insult, he just gently instructs -- but Aziraphale can't teach full-time, he has other things on his plate. So Muriel the scrivener, one of the few angels who would have a clue about literacy due to the nature of their job, gravitates to books and discovers that they too can be gentle and compassionate teachers.

The final question outstanding is how well Aziraphale understands and assimilates human books, especially fiction, especially especially non-literal figures of speech. It's an excellent and complicated question, and I don't think I have The Answer to it, but I'll see what I can do.

[di-42]

The Pretty Face Of Heaven, chapter two of my fiction And I Did, is now on Ao3. In this chapter we catch up with our favourite angel.

Huge thanks to the best beta readers and cheerleaders ever: IneffableShortcake and @sabine-smitten-obviously. Without them my writing would be even more embarrassing.

General not-a-summary:

This is a story about faith. This is a story about love. This is a story about loss. This is a story about being apart and about being reunited. This is a story about fighting. This is a story about choices.

Where do we choose to place our faith? Will a god we have faith in come and save us? Will a friend? A loved one? When do we start doubting our faith? How long before we snap, before we raise our head? How far can we go before we crumble under the weight of our own misplaced faith? Under the weight of our choices? What does it take to make us feel betrayed, abandoned, left behind? What does it take for us to turn our back on what in which we had faith?

OR:

Yet another Good Omens post season 2 fiction.

Featuring Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke Of Hell Crowley.

Excerpt from chapter two:

There was a pregnant pause before the Metatron spoke again. “When you were stationed on earth, you did consider him your… friend, did you not?”

“I did.” Aziraphale admitted, shame in his voice. He could still feel the Metatron’s scrutinising gaze on him.

“What has changed?”

Aziraphale looked up then, straight into the Metatron’s eyes. His voice was soft and yet full of confidence when he spoke.

“God sent you to save me. God sent you to show me the path of the light. Of the truth.”

The Metatron just kept staring at him with an unreadable expression, so he went on.

“I let my guard down. I fell into the demon’s trap. I let him tempt me into turning my back to the ineffable plan,” he said with teary eyes. “I let him tempt me into thwarting the will of God,” Aziraphale all but whispered.

Reblogs and any kind of feedback are always incredibly apporeciated!

[scoobydoodean]

might be a weird question, but youre probably like the top supernatural scholar on tumblr, at least definitely on the deangirl side, so i was wondering if you could summarise what the overall story/big bad of seasons 6 through 10 for me?

i binged the entire show in a week or two during lockdown and im definitely suffering primacy and recency bias because i cannot remember what happened in the middle seasons to save my life.

🔫 🔫 🔫 Watch Supernatural again

Season 6: Sam come back from hell but with no soul. Dean scared of and for him. Cas fighting civil war against Raphael who want to start Apocalypse Part 2 Electric Boogaloo. Dean busy worry about Sam. Cas busy worry about Raphael. Hurt feelings both sides. Crowley threaten Sam and Dean into working for him. Dean get Sam soul back but at risk Sam go crazy. Cas pretend kill Crowley. Cas actually in cahoots with Crowley. Crowstiel hungry want to open Purgatory to eat all the souls. Cas want to eat souls to kill Raphael. Crowley want to eat souls to become Big Threat. Sam and Dean and Bobby find out Cas lie. Hurt. Worried Cas get hurt. Worried Purgatory soul eating plan cause more apocalypse. Cas break Sam's brain to keep Sam and Dean from standing in way. Sam mental hurt. Cas double cross Crowley. Eat all Purgatory souls. Cas kill Raphael. Cas say he is god now and demand worship.

Season 7: Cas full of hubris. Cas kill most angels. Cas kill racists and homophobes. Cas realize pregnant with Leviathan swallowed from Purgatory on accident. Very bad. Sick. Dying. Not strong enough. Cas ask for Dean help. Team Free Will try to put all souls back in Purgatory. Leviathan do not leave Cas. Cas walk into lake not return. Dean keep trenchcoat. Sad. Drinking lots. Sam hallucinating. Trying be okay. Getting worse. Leviathan try take over world with evil sandwich. Leviathan kill Bobby. Cas turn out alive but no memory. Cas remember he Cas. Cas take Sam crazy away. Cas become crazy instead. Stay in mental health hospital. Kevin Tran find out is prophet. Get caught up in apocalypse. Sam and Dean and ghost Bobby and Crowley try to kill Dick. Need Cas help. Dean and Cas fight and make up. Cas help. Dean and Cas disappear after Dick explode. Land in Purgatory. Surrounded by gorilla wolves. Cas fly away leave Dean alone in dark. Prophet Kevin Tran kidnapped by Crowley.

Season 8: Dean come back from Purgatory with new friend cajun vampire Benny. No Cas. Dean think dead. Dean Cas and Benny join up and fight in Purgatory. Cas not escape. Dean think his fault but not. Sam hit dog and hook up with girl who call him white supremacist and force him to adopt dog. Sam leave when her husband come back from war. Sam find out Dean alive and go to him. Dean find out Sam not look for him and Cas and leave Kevin to die. Dean angry hurt. Sam and Dean go look for Kevin. Sam tell Dean to shut up and never mention hurt again. Crowley big problem. Sam Dean Kevin find out gates of hell can be closed. Crowley and other demons no longer problem then. Kevin need demon tablet to figure out how. Must go through Trials to close gates. Sam want be one to go through Trials to close gates of hell. Promise to live and save Dean from depression. Quickly forget and tell Dean to get over it. Crow,ly want demon tablet. Naomi want angel tablet. Cas show up. Not dead. No idea how back. Turn out Naomi bring Cas back. Also brainwash Cas. Cas almost kill Dean but then escape Naomi control. Fly away with angel tablet. Cas lose angel tablet. Dean upset. Sam getting sick from trials. Dean worry. Sam accuse Dean not believe in him. Sam and Dean capture Crowley as last Trial. Begin to turn him human. Cas try close gates of heaven with angel Metatron. Metatron double cross Cas and make all angels fall to earth. Crowley crying turning human. Sam want to die finish Trials. Dean remind him promise not die. Sam mad that Dean has sexy boyfriends and he does not. Dean convince Sam to not finish trials and live.

Season 9: Sam dying even though not finish trials. Dean pray for help. Angels come to beat him up looking for Castiel who made them fall. Ezekiel save Dean and say help Sam. Human Cas stranded but vouch for Ezekiel on phone. Ezekiel actually angel Gadreel but Dean not know. Ezekiel pretend to be Dean go into Sam subconscious pretend be Dean. Sam say yes Gadreel possess Sam. Sam not know possessed. Gadreel convince Dean wait to tell Sam he possessed. Cas trying survive human. Get in trouble. Sam and Dean rescue. Bring home to bunker. Gadreel threaten leave Sam die before healed if Cas stay. Dean have kick Cas out. Knight of Hell Abaddon show up. Start take over hell. Cannot easy kill. Crowley addicted to human blood because feelings. Metatron get in Gadreel ear. Promise safety and honor if do his will. Gadreel kill Kevin for Metatron. Crowley and Dean and Cas expel Gadreel from Sam. Sam mad at Dean. Say no more brothers. Just work partners. Dean accept. Dean sad. Everything bad and wrong. Cas eat angel grace. Looking for his own grace. Want stop Metatron get angels back to heaven. Abaddon come back. Crowley tell Dean First Blade is solution. Crowley take Dean to Cain. Cain give Dean Mark of Cain. Make Dean strong, but slowly make Dean need kill to survive. Dean kill Abaddon with First Blade. Dean realize turning monster. Coughing up blood not kill. Dean go face Metatron. Metatron kill Dean. Sam sad. Say lie about not brothers. Cas get Metatron arrested by angels. Dean body left in bedroom. Crowley show up invite on vacation. Dean open eyes as demon.

Season 10: Demon Dean and Crowley vacation. Sam think Dean dead but body possessed. Furious. Torture. Kill. Look for Dean body. CrowleyDean breakup. Sam manage find Demon Dean. Manage capture. Bring to bunker dungeon. Try to cure. Demon Dean not want cured. Escape try kill Sam with hammer. Cas show up stop Dean. Bring human Dean back. Cas not well. Need grace back. Dean not demon anymore but still Mark of Cain. Dean murder human traffickers. Sam and Cas say Dean getting worse. To be fair Dean do have murder trances which not very good. Everyone look for way to remove Mark of Cain. Charlie back. Cas get grace back with Metraton help. Styne family cause trouble. Stynes want Book of the Damned. Rowena want book of the damned. Sam want Book of Damned. Dean say Book of Damned evil. Demand not be used because bad. Sam use Book of the Damned secret. Charlie Cas Crowley and Rowena (against will) help Sam look for Dean cure. Find cure in Book of the Damned. Keep hearing bad idea to use. Something bad happen if use book. Charlie get killed. Dean find out Sam lie and use Book of Damned behind back. Dean angry. Dean go on murder rampage and kill all Stynes. Dean summon Death and ask to kill him so not hurt anyone. Sam show up. Beg Dean to live. Death tell Dean kill Sam. Dean kill Death instead. Rowena finish Book of the Damned spell and Mark of Cain removed. Darkness erupts from the earth as consequence of Sam removing Mark of Cain and begin apocalypse. Sam say would do again in a heartbeat because Dean back.

[crowleysaziraphale2003]

Happy Easter Monday, everybody! Here's a fic I've literally just posted on AO3, based on the meme someone on here made or posted at least, about Aziraphale and Crowley kissing in the Bentley and Jesus driving lmao. CW for swearing. Enjoy! :)

PS-Happy belated Easter and Trans Day of Visibility! 🩵🩷🤍

Jesus, Take the Wheel

"I still don't see why we need to take him to the US," Aziraphale grumbled.

"Like I said," Crowley gritted out, his grip on the steering wheel firmer than ever, Queen's 'We Will Rock You' playing in the background, "nobody will think to look for him in New York. Even if they do, it's crowded there. He won't raise suspicion among a lot of Americans, either."

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him. "And why is that, dear?"

"Because a lot of them think he's white, for some reason."

"Fair point. But what if we get him lost?"

"We won't."

"But we could!" Aziraphale insisted.

"How?"

"We lost the Antichrist, last time."

Crowley sighed. "That was different. 'Sides, I'm pretty sure that was you and not me who did that."

Aziraphale turned a shade of crimson. "We were both responsible for that particular mishap," he pointed out as Crowley ran a red light. "Oh, do look out, Crowley! You could discorporate!"

"As if you'd care," Crowley growled, driving even faster.

Shock flitted across Aziraphale's face, which Crowley just about noticed from the corner of his eye. "Of course I do. I always care about you."

"Got a funny way of showing it," Crowley said. "Anyway. Gonna have to make the car fly to get him to America, which'll be difficult, but I think coming up to Scotland will confuse them enough to throw them off our scent for a while."

"Hmm," Aziraphale responded, fidgeting. "Look, are you terribly sure he wants to travel to New York?"

"I'm sure he'll love it," Crowley said, wearing a grim smile on his face.

"Guys? I'd rather you didn't talk about me as though I wasn't there," Jesus piped up from the backseat, where he had been waiting patiently for His turn to speak. "The people in my homeland are suffering right now, why can't I-"

"Shut up, Jesus!" They both shouted at the same time.

"I did ask to be called Joshua," he muttered. Neither of them appeared to hear him.

Crowley turned to Aziraphale while driving. "Too obvious," he said.

"Too obvious," Aziraphale repeated, nodding. "Not to mention dangerous. Speaking of which-do watch the road, Crowley."

Crowley turned back to the road. 'Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy' began to play. "What did you mean, when you said you always care about me?"

"Well, I thought I'd made that much obvious," Aziraphale replied, a tad haughty.

"Not when you left me. For Heaven," Crowley said, his voice wobbling despite his feigned nonchalance.

"I was doing that for the Greater good!" Aziraphale protested.

"Kidnapping me is for the Greater Good?" Jesus asked.

"Yes, it is, Je-Joshua. See, I got it right," he said, turning around to smile at him. Jesus did not smile back. Aziraphale twisted back in his seat. Crowley was frowning.

"Great mangled pustulent bollocks to the Greater Blasted Good!"

Aziraphale's eyes widened. "Crowley, language! There really is no need-"

"Yeah, yeah. There was really no need to leave me, either, was there!" Crowley snapped.

Aziraphale had had enough of this foolishness, at this point. "I was doing it to protect you!" he shot back, not meaning to shout.

A pregnant silence filled the car for about half a minute. Jesus-or Joshua-knew better than to break it and get between whatever the hell was going on between the two of them.

"What do you mean, angel?" His voice was quiet.

Aziraphale sighed, rather heavily. The car stopped at a red light, for once, as Crowley couldn't be bothered to change it. Besides, this was more important.

"I didn't tell you this, because I didn't want to worry you. But if I didn't go with him, the Metatron said that extreme sanctions could still be taken against those who had been involved with Gabriel's disappearance."

"Extr-" Crowley fell silent for a second, gripping the wheel of the car a bit too hard. He glanced at Aziraphale for a second. God, was he beautiful. "He threatened your existence?"

"I wouldn't particularly care about that. Not me; he didn't want to get his hands dirty, apparently, by doing that to an angel. No, he threatened your existence, dear, and well, I simply couldn't have that. So I went along with him, even though it pained me to no end. I had to. Then he mentioned The Second Coming, and I realised that I had to protect the humans, too. So it was about them as well, I suppose. But still. I thought I could make a difference from the inside, and when I realised I couldn't do that in a corporate environment, I had to get...creative."

Much to Aziraphale's surprise, Crowley let out a chuckle. "So you kidnapped Jesus Christ, instead."

"Yes."

"And you only left to protect me, and to protect the humans?" he questioned, his voice faltering. The light finally turned green, and he went.

"Yes, I did," Aziraphale confirmed, fidgeting a little.

"What he says is true," Jesus added. "Although human too, I do have access to angel's memories, and what he says is recorded in his memories, and the memories of the Metatron. Who, by the way, is a-"

"I would have trusted you to tell the truth anyway, angel," Crowley whispered, ignoring Jesus.

With the hand he didn't have on the steering wheel, he removed his sunglasses and turned to gaze upon the angel, his angel, with such tenderness that Aziraphale found it almost unbearable.

"Oh, Crowley," Aziraphale replied, tearing up. "I'm so awfully sorry, about everything. You needn't forgive me, of course. I hardly deserve it."

"You know, you never apologised for literally kidnapping me-"

"Shut up, Jesus!" They both yelled, again.

"Noted."

Crowley took a deep breath. "Angel, I think I just have."

Aziraphale reached out and squeezed his hand. 'You're My Best Friend', by Queen had been playing for the past few minutes, and was just trailing off. Crowley squeezed his hand back.

"Oh, I do love you, Crowley," Aziraphale murmured, with a soft smile that was practically discorporating Crowley on the spot.

Right. Enough was enough, already, Crowley decided.

"Fuck. I love you too, you blessed idiot," Crowley responded, pulling Aziraphale in for a passionate kiss.

Although rather surprised at first, Aziraphale quickly and enthusiastically reciprocated it, savouring the divine feeling of Crowley's soft lips against his the way he hadn't been able to the last time they'd kissed. Crowley ran his hand through the his fluffy, light hair. Aziraphale's thumb was stroking his neck, before he moved his hands and arms down his back in order to embrace him properly. This was nothing like their desperate, angry first kiss. For both of them, was slow, tender, beautiful.

Miraculously, the Bentley hadn't crashed. Yet.

The radio, which had been silent for the past minute, began blaring 'Jesus, Take the Wheel'. Pulling a face at Aziraphale and Crowley's display of affection, Jesus quickly unbuckled his own seatbelt, reached forward and did as He was told.

This was going to be one hell of a journey.

[argylepiratewd]

Chapter: 1/25

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), background Maggie/Nina (Good Omens), background Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), The Metatron (Good Omens), Maggie (Good Omens), Nina (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), The Bentley (Good Omens), Michael (Good Omens), Uriel (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Saraqael (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Furfur (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens), Original Angel Character(s), Original Demon Character(s)

Additional Tags: Pregnancy, Mpreg, Male presenting pregnancy, Dubiously Consensual Pregnancy, Morning Sickness, Pregnant Sex, Pregnant Character in Danger, Pregnant Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), Supreme Archangel Aziraphale (Good Omens), Experienced Aziraphale (Good Omens), Virgin Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), BAMF Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Has Chronic Pain (Good Omens), Post-Season/Series 02, Wing Grooming, Massage, Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

In a desperate attempt to delay the Second Coming, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale makes a proposal: Jesus should be completely reborn—gestated for nine months in the human way, then raised to adulthood on Earth. When he volunteers to carry the child himself, he doesn't think anyone will agree. Somebody, however, does.

What will his unexpected condition do to his strained relationship with Crowley? And what will happen once it becomes apparent that something is very much amiss in this whole "Second Coming" business?

Updates on Wednesdays

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

ASMI! I GO OF TUMBLR FOR … 2 DAYS? AND YOUR IN PAIN!!! I WISH I COULD COMFORT YOU!!! I SADLY CAN ONLY SCREAM MY CONDOLENCES FROM MY LITTLE HOME ON THE HILL WITH TERRIBLE PHONE SERVICE!

DRINK WATER, READ FAN FICTION (especially the sad ones they will help), WATCH AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF EDITS AND CRY ALL YOU NEED! IT DOES GET BETTER! (Actually no, it doesn’t, the pain just changes form.)

ILL BE OVER HERE EATING STRANGE FOODS IF YOU NEED ME!

*phone connection crackles and dies, the rumbling sound of the imminent collapse of sanity approaches*

What imminent collapse. It's all gone. I have none left, Mary. It's gone. What are you doing on a little home on the hill???? I have a new theory guys, @madfangirlontheloose is about to birth baby jesus.

Your name is Mary.

Despite claims that you cannot possibly be pregnant, your food cravings are really fucking weird. "Strange foods" does not begin to describe them. A tin of curry powder, bowl of horseradish, spicy mustard on a piece of bread, twelve dill pickles, a whole raw garlic bulb, a jar of raw garlic paste, raw tofu, an onion and half a jar of chilli flakes are the things you have eaten at late night due to cravings.

The Metatron said that there is going to be a second coming.

For some reason you have now retreated to a little home on the hill. Are there sheep there? Is there a barn? Are you hiding from people?

Maggots you may judge the evidence presented.

[the-metatron]

Grandfather you are confusing me with your posts are you pregnant? Whose the other parent if so and what the fuck????

Yes, grandchild, I am pregnant. As for the other parent, I'm not sure yet. But I have an appointment with the handsome Maury Povich to find out.

[do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas]

Hm. OK. Theories for s3 (some are purposefully batshit, some is fan service for me, some I genuinely believe in - you decide which):

- the opening is crowley and aziraphale walking on opposite ends, but meeting in the middle

- crowley is hanging around Maggie and Nina's shops

- he's trying to act "more demonic", but it's all the simplest pathetic things like stealing dog bones from dogs and gluing a shitload of coins on the ground

- Crowley however just keeps staring longingly at the bookshop. Muriel is fully aware of this and is like "it must be a demon thing"

- reunion at the end of ep1

- it's cause aziraphale found out what the Second Coming is, which

- I think a woman has become pregnant and they have to find her

- the Them come back, all grown up

- Warlock also is here, but she's now trans and calls herself Ash because of her favorite nanny

- Muriel gets roped into it, maybe feeling like they need to repair the husband's relationship

- new character!!!! Lilith, cause I really wanna see her and I think it would fit the world. In my oc, she's a human turned demon, so she has the senses and the animal characteristics but no miracles (that she knows of)

- either way, Muriel is gonna get a friend/maybe love interest

- Gabriel and Beelzebub also get roped into it, finding a place on Alpha Centauri and they are super annoyed

- But they end up both being apologetic to the angel and demon respectively and want to help

- Also Gabriel remembers his time as Jim and tells Crowley he remembers his threat. Crowley is a little like "yeah whattup" but Gabe's like "no I mean that's pretty protective, it shows you love him"

- Maggie and Nina come back, so now you got the team. They are just REALLY trying to get Crowley to leave them alone and to stop scaring off their customers

- the very first thing that happens when Crowley and Aziraphale meet each other is aziraphale does a hurried Apology Dance to try to get to explaining what the Second Coming is

- but Crowley refuses to work with him or refuses to open himself up or something like that

- some max angst where they finally Talk in a convo to each other but it's all painful

- canon Crowley doesn't remember much of Heaven and Aziraphale remembers him Before but Crowley doesn't, and

- Aziraphale admits he feels guilty for Crowley falling

- they gotta dance. Dunno how, but they're dancing now

- they're gonna be caught under the rain. Dunno how, but they're in an awing or however it's spelled now

- Aziraphale pulls down Crowley's glasses

- he says "please forgive me" to Crowley

- and Crowley's like "I forgive you" in a reeeeally sarcastic but playful tone

- Metatron and Shax (with Furfur as second in command) are the Big Bad. Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are antags, but maybe become sympathetic near the end. Same with demons like Hastur maybe

- the Book of Life is gonna try to be used, babyyyyy

- and I think that Miracle Blocker card will come back too. Either as a plot twist used by the antags as a All Is Lost Blake Snyder beat, or Crowley or Aziraphale use it in the dramatic climax

- but yeah, you got this team now working together to stop the Second Coming

- I have nothing for this, so maybe she has the baby and raises it normally or gets an abortion lmao

- and it's gonna be something like Crowley getting kidnapped by Heaven I reckon

- we see Aziraphale be ANGRY angry, barging into Heaven demanding for his Crowley

- just as Crowleys name is being crossed out in the Book, Aziraphale finds him and saves him (with a kiss or smth lmao), and their miracles work together to create one so powerful it fixes Crowley's name in the Book of Life

- it doesn't have to be the Book - I just really want true love bringing a person back from being destroyed or something, man

- and on that note, I think Aziraphale will do One Big Sacrifice to parallel all the little ones Crowley does for him. And it's going to be for Crowley, like saving his life or something

- I think it's gonna be a big thing though, like maybe Aziraphale keeping his powers but no longer being considered an angel. OR he gives up all his powers but is still immortal. OR he just becomes human, but something big

- (but I don't think Falling big, cause it's a nice way to show that despite him no longer being for Heaven and giving it up entirely, he still has the spirit and virtue of an angel)

- and whatever Aziraphale becomes, Crowley will follow, and then off to the South Downs cottage

- also God comes in, as a human body or something. But either way, She narrates the last part of the series cause now "the story is going exactly how it should"

- a whole fucking chorus of Nightingales sing in Berkeley Square

[choco-cherry-chunk]

Aziraphale findingout he’s pregnant from Crowley after the end of season 2

I wonder how he’d deal with that in heaven

A fair bit of panic, probably. In all honesty, if this were the scenario and Aziraphale didn’t run off from both Heaven and Crowley, I admit that the sadder route would be the most likely option. That the other angels and the Metatron would make him get rid of it. But then again, an interesting scenario would be Aziraphale fleeing from them when they react this way, but also not returning to Crowley because he’s convinced that the demon never wants to see him again. So he’s alone as he prepares for the birth of his child, obvious to how this may be a part of The Ineffable Plan and the Second Coming and all… 👀

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

I was discussing with a friend how I've often been a 'fandom mum' since I became active within the fandom world just over a year ago. Both in-person at convention spaces and online, I'm more than happy to fill that space for anyone who needs it.

It is, essentially, because I am all too aware that you cannot choose your blood relatives. But I fully believe that you can choose your family.

I've just passed my second anniversary of disowning my parents. I'm 40, turning 41 in a few months. Cutting ties is one of the best decisions I ever made. The damage, however, had long since been done. And I'm still working on reversing it all. But I started about a year ago, and I'm working on it. Which is all that matters.

I was raised in a very everything-phobic household. Which was...interesting, seeing as we moved all around the world. Living with racist, homophobic, judgmental parents in a new country every 6-18 months was certainly a challenge. Especially as a genderfluidy queer person (I'm pansexual), with a slew of mental health issues (mostly due to my upbringing) and neurospiciness.

I wasn't allowed to hyperfixate. Wasn't allowed to watch the majority of TV shows/channels. Couldn't express myself in ways that made me happy or comfortable, or weren't approved of. Was mocked and manipulated in various ways that I won't go into but suffice it to say it was all Not Very Nice At All. I was essentially not allowed to be myself, express myself and be interested in the things I wanted to be interested in.

Fun! I finished off 2023 by having trauma therapy, which helped tremendously, and has helped me put a lot of things into context, including my wish to support others.

I've been an advocate of mental health awareness since I was hospitalised for severe peri/postpartum depression (PPD) with symptoms of psychosis after having my second child. I was very ill after my first child, but slipped through the net mostly due to lack of beds, and essentially had continuous PPD the entire time from being pregnant with my first child until long after my second child was born. Probably until around her third birthday. But, regardless, I resolved to be open and honest about my mental health, and to encourage others to look after themselves.

And I have continued to do so. My daughter is now 8. My mental health is, overall, pretty stable. It has its peaks and troughs, 2023 was rough; I lost a close friend who was younger than me to cancer and the grief destroyed me. The trauma therapy was another thing that was extremely difficult, but ultimately very rewarding.

But regarding the fandom mum-ness.

You can't choose your relatives. But you can choose your friends. And your fandom family. I can't really talk about my fandom stuff with my family here at home. But I can with my fandom family online. I learn fandom speak and facts from my fandom kids. And I'm here to be a fandom parent to anyone who needs one.

I'm not the perfect parent. My kids are 8 & 11 and will confirm that. But in this house we are LGBTQ+ proud and supportive. We ask people's pronouns (mine are she/they). We support our friends and stand up for them, when others put them down or bully them. We believe in ourselves and our interests, even if they're not necessarily 'popular'. We think gender is an arbitrary societal construct. We buy clothes from whatever department we want. Etc.

And we all think the Metatron is a wanker. Well, actually, no. It's just me and the 8yo. The 11yo hasn't watched GO. Neither has my husband, because he refuses. But my daughter is cool. ;)

So if you need a fandom parent, I'm here. I may not reply straight away, because I do have an 8 and 11yo. But I will try!

[ome-magical-ramblings]

Using Prayer of Crowns Magically.

As people can see I am slowly releasing more contents on the prayer of crowns as I go through it practicing and translating it together at once. I hope that people have read my previous blog post on it as this will be a direct translation of usage of this prayer/invocation.

Starting with the first name Basmech Dala Hamo Shaytithon / بشمخ دالا هامو شيطيثون

Whoever writes it on a cermaic dish or bowl then wash it with rose water, mix it with nromal water and then perform ablution with that water. Allah gives him great might and honor with whoever he sees, and who make his wife drink it she will not disobey him.

The Second name: Dano Malchuthu Daimonin / دانو ملخوثو ديمنون whoever writes it on a small piece of paper and throw it on running water, said "Oh God of this Book, I wrote it for you, fulfill my desire X" Allah fulfill his desire for him at the moment whatever it is. The Third name: Kaoraish Ara’shtrich Lachon / كورعش ارعيشطرخ لاخون

whoever wrote it with saffron and rose water, hanged it as a talisman/pendant on a single woman she will instantly find a partner AND marry with Will of Allah.

The Fourth name: Dahmoth Archa Archim Archimon / دهموث ارخا ارخم ارخيمون whoever wrote it on paper/papyrus with musk and saffron mixed in rose water, hanged it on himself, he's safe from all fear, worries, and the like. The Fifth name: Thiochaim Azich Arqish Dar-Alion / ثيوخيم ازيش ارقش دارعليون

Whoever wrote it on paper and tied it to his right upper arm then asked any creature or person anything they did it for him.

The Sixth name:

Haythumuu Mythuu Ahyun Minun / حيثموا ميثوا احيون منون

Whoever wrote it with musk and saffron then put it in a pendant in his hat or neckacle, Allah protected him and protected him from all other creatures. The Seventh name:

Ahia Shra-heya Adonai Asba’ot Asba’ton / أهيا شراهيا ادوناي اصباؤت اصباؤتون

whoever wrote it on the palm of their hand, read it, then said his in wish/oracle then he will sleep in full ritualistic purity then a group of Good Jinns will come to his sleep and they're the servant of this name will tell him about his matter. The Eighth name: Dihmitha Dahlilun 'iilah Metatron / دهميثا دهليلون إله ميططرون

Whoever lost anything or someone stole anything, or his slave ran away let him purify himself ritualistically and write the following name on his right thigh then sit in an empty/isolated place pray with the whole prayer and ask from Allah to bring back what's lost then seven tall men of jinn serving this name come to him and tell him what he wants.

The Ninth Name: Noor Bawariq A’reish Arghshish Lagah-shun / نور بورق ارعيش ارغشيش لغشون  Whoever writes it seven fridays consecutively and wash it into water, drank most of it, and wash it with water then drank most of it, and washed with the rest of it his face and chest Allah gave him great wealth before the end of the Haol(Lunar Year), and who wrote it on a paper and put it in the money of a merchant, the merchant gain/won a lot of money.

The Tenth Name:

Shabira Shro wa Asmaikh Ash-ba Ashba’on / شبيرا شرو اسمخ اشبا اشبونّ

Whoever wrote it and wore it as a talisman had a great strength in walk and he doesn't get tired, and if a pregnant woman wears it then her birth will be easy but he must dispose of the paper immediately after birth. The Eleventh Name:

Malkuth Malich Malch Malecha Malchun/ ملكوت مالخ ملخ مليخا مالخون Whoever write it on the palm of his right hand then shook the hand of someone else Allah made great love between them, and whoever write it on papyrus and held it between his eyes then talked with his enemies he conquered him. Whoever writes it, washed it, and gave it to someone with pain in the liver or Spleen allah cured him. The Twelfth Name:

Alam Alim Arghil Arghi Arghun Thirnun Kazanun Shamkh Shamkhithan Mishlamun / علام عالم ارغل ارغي ارغون ثرنون كزنون شمخ شمخيثا مشلامون whoever wrote it disjointed letters, washed it and drank it, or licked it and washed his forehead and face with it then went to meet a tyrant ruler then he will be subdued, treat him well, and will be given his request. Another is to be written on a tablet, washed his face with it's water for 3 days was protected from pink eye. Another wrote it with saffron on his male member afterward had intercourse with his wife then no other will be able to have intercourse with her except him. Another, Who wrote it on 3 smooth rocks, every time he writes it on a rock he throws it to the direction of the house of his enemy then Allah become extremely angered toward his enemy, throwing fear and terror into his heart leading to great win in the scribe/magician.

[g00brielandbeez]

Hi Zad, hi Poppa...

WHAT DO YIU GUYZ MEAN THE METATRON IS PREGNANT?????

(im that trainwreck guy btw i just changed my own account a little)

MY CHILD, I'M NOT EVEN SURE- he posted about his nice fuck-marathon with Zeuzzz, and said he wazz pregnant, I don't fucking know anymore 😭