#The Gays have claimed frogs

[emo-batboy]

Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

[bitterkarella]

Identifying furries by their fursonas

Fox- this is the default fursona for the default furry, namely a twink with a blown out fucked to death asshole

Vixen- Girl fox referred to as a vixen is an egg, girl fox just referred to as a fox is an out trans woman

Kistune - the same as above but weeb flavor

he-wolf - a greasy guy who weighs 12 pounds soaking wet and wears a fedora. republican.

she-wolf - the butchest bull dyke you ever saw

coyote - manic depressive. always on something. the drug connection at any furry party

Cat- always a woman

black cat - could be any gender but always goth

kitten/kitty - a trans sex worker, has an only fans they really want you to know about.

bobcat - older dude. wants people to think he's ex-military

Jaguar - an older black guy. will probably have the word "black" in his fursona's name

lion - just a huge asshole

tiger - another asshole. old. wants you to believe he's ex military or ex-police, probably a member of the dorsai irregulars. major grill dad vibes

jackal - a huge asshole and a slut. white gay racist, probably transphobic

cougar - either a trans woman or a terf. there's no in between

Horse - white woman who identifies as 2 Spirit or a guy who wants to be stomped on

Pony - gay nazi

unicorn - either the absolute gayest dude you can be or a 9 year old girl. sometimes a late in life transition

Tanuki - latino

badger - either a huge lesbian or an old avuncular straight guy. possible sex pest

Raccoon - nature's greatest mistake. too normie to be furry, too furry to be normie. dilf.

bat - either a goth or a real annoying shit (some overlap). invader zim fanboy. doesn't drink alcohol but claims to act crazy on "sugar highs." definitely has dabbled in webcomics

cow - a woman. maternal. mom friend or mommy dom. milf. possibly trans femme

steer - a big strong fat rough trade gay guy

sheep - mom vibes

pretty much any farm animal - mom vibes

domestic pig - wild card. might be a wet and messy fetish thing tho or a trash eating thing. loves to be stinky. loves to talk about being stinky.

wild pig - trans masc

skunk - either a fat beardy guy who has a tumblr blog about animation squash & stretch or a stoner gal. very straight. the straightest. a kinsey 0. has strong feelings about what the fandom used to be like before there were all these kids in it.

rat - is a huge asshole as a front, probably likes talking cigars

lemur - autistic

sloth - 420 blaze it. will never finish any commissions

chakat - an older cishet man who thinks the fandom is too political & refers to "anime" as "japanimation"

sergel - nazi

citra - the biggest dipshit you've ever met

procyon - furry equivalent of the thomas jefferson miku binder pic. you should not be talking to this person, this is a literal child

weasel - a girl with cluster b personality disorders

ferret - a person who has at least one pet ferret, but probably many

mole - this person thinks they're in a beatrix potter story

guinea pig/chinchilla/jerboa/gerbil/any kind of fat rodent you can keep as a pet - the sweetest person you will ever meet

armadillo/pangolin/anteater/aardvark - smug, contrarian. "i just wanna be different"

mouse - vore fetishist, prey. sub.

hyena - vore fetishist, pred. probably trans masc

otter - a dommy twink, possible enby

bear - gay

panda - absolutely a white person pretending to be asian. probably running a gofund me scam with a suspicious story about how they're a professional nintendo gamer who injured their hand or something

bullfrog - a huge fat hairy straight guy

any other frog - inflation or rubber fetishist

axolotl/newt/salamander - genderfluid enby

rabbit - trad wife trans woman

squirrel - autistic and gay

deer - gay

gazelle - zootopia megafan

monkey - punk DIY artist type, definitely loves weed

ape - absolutely baffling. nothing this person does or says makes any sense. you will be left wondering whether you're speaking to a child, a person with severe mental issues, or someone who doesn't have english as a first language

elephant - mom friend

hippo - a fat fetishist or a transformation fetishist

rhino - an older cishet dude who wants to project a curmudgeonly yet approachable aura

kangaroo - definitely not an australian person. extremely focused kinkster, usually feet or inflation. more STDs than should be possible to carry

koala - an asian woman

virginia opossum - anarchist/communist punk trans man who makes zines and/or comics

australian possum - just here to have fun. wants everyone else to be having fun too. wacky funster. (sugar gliders and flying squirrels fall under this category)

any other marsupial - poser

monotremes - extreme poser, don't even bother

doberman- gay dude who tops from the bottom or a cop (there is some overlap)

german shepherd - a nazi or a cop (there is substantial overlap). definitely a furry raider. he will wear his cop uniform to con and after con will post videos pretending that someone was rude to him

afghan - arch femme

basset hound - racist

puppy - sub, probably an egg. extremely draining. cries a lot

all other dogs - just dudes being bros (gender neutral)

dragon - the furries of furries. like to talk about eating "sammiches" and "chocklit." probably an adult baby lifestyler. they will send DMs that just say "hi." they like to RP and when they contact you about a potential commission they are actually just trying to trick you into RP

griffin - the same as above but also a brony

snake - sissy hypno fetishist

turtle - an old man, probably southern. an ironic grandpa.

other scalies - furry in denial. either a child or an old person from CYD. the world's last something awful goons

any fursona with latino vibes - white

any fursona with asian vibes - latino

any fursona with native american vibes - eastern european

avian - girl who's not like other girls. hippie. vegan.

raven/crow - agender voidgoth

chicken - mom vibes

dinosaur - the absolute biggest nerd. probably has an actual degree in paleontology. definitely dresses like miss frizzle.

any invertebrate - not a real furry, their girlfriend just made them get a furaffinity account before they could get ass. either that or they've never even heard of furry, they just came up with the idea of anthropomorphics from first principles. a biology teacher or weirdo (there is some overlap)

amoeba - this is a troll

[daegutowns]

your enhypen hogwarts boyfriend 

tags: hogwarts au, gn!reader, this is the grind rn

gryffindor: heeseung, niki 

heeseung: quidditch team chaser 

secretly (not so secretly) an attention seeker

please expect to hype him up and fawn over him on quidditch match days -- especially on matches with slytherin (he always has a bet with jay) 

“babe i need you to boo jay if he ever comes near you.” 

and he is so serious about this 

mcgonagall claims she doesn’t like him but he’s just lucky that he’s actually really good at quidditch (bc his transfiguration grades are not sexy) 

excels in defense against the dark arts AND potions but snape hates him 

he swears up and down he didn’t do anything this time to get detention but you know better. and he’s always begging the captain to not kick him off

“please, you know snape wants my left buttcheek!” 

talks shit before the match (especially to jay) and then feigns innocence if he’s asked about it 

this is the result of years of watching quidditch matches with his dad (their favorite team is the montrose magpies -- and he WILL badmouth puddlemere united if that team is mentioned) 

likes to sleep next to you in the library after practice while you study 

riki: quidditch team beater  

rebellious, passionate, and playful -- riki is a gryffindor through and through

always getting caught up in pranks. denies ever being inside zonko’s even though that’s the first place he goes in hogsmeade 

like okay ????

claims mrs. norris (filch’s cat) is best friends with him, but he has no real way of proving this 

shy about pda because of his friends, so he likes meeting up with you in secret and passing you notes in class 

…until he gets caught and has to read them out loud

then he decides that fuck it! it’s better to just air it out anyways. not his problem what they find disgusting!��

straight up livin’ that thug life y’all #getrekt

lowkey getting brainwashed by heeseung (go magpies!) 

makes up all his dreams for his divination dream journal but always makes it about you so he can pretend to be offended if someone says it’s fake

hufflepuff: sunghoon, jungwon 

sunghoon: prefect (head boy) 

this hard-working and kind-hearted boy is a true hufflepuff through and through

everyone thought by his looks that he’d either be in slytherin or ravenclaw, but it’s more obvious when he opens his mouth 

he’s kind of like cedric diggory -- super well-liked, popular, good-looking, and smart

he’s got all the hufflepuff girls and gays giggling around him n shit 

“first years follow me to the common room” and the new hufflepuffs are tripping over their feet trying to ask him questions 

it’s okay because he only has eyes for you <3 

haha jk sometimes he’ll tease you and say “are you jealous? you look jealous~” and then backtrack and say nevermind that he’s sorry and he doesn’t actually know what other people look like. in fact he only knows one name and it’s yours. 

he doesn’t really need to be doing all that but it’s fun messing with him 

goes around humbly (not so humbly) bragging about you until he gets smacked by snape for messing around during (but that doesn’t stop him) 

he likes taking you to cheesy date spots, like madam puddifoot’s tea shop or the covered walkway near spintwitches sporting needs where everyone else had their first kisses 

jungwon: quidditch team seeker   

well-rounded, responsible, and dependable -- these are all traits of a hufflepuff that describe jungwon perfectly 

to be honest, he’s really just here for the vibes

his favorite pastime is collecting chocolate frog cards 

(he is specifically looking for the gold and silver albus dumbledore cards that have been out of circulation for years)

he’s a very talented seeker, but everyone else’s praise doesnt mean anything. he needs YOUR praise specifically and will pretend to not like it just so he can hear it more (but you know better!) 

please help him study… he is definitely getting that quidditch scouting from a professional team but jungwon said he might get a T (troll) in history of magic 

he has a black cat named dooly that terrorizes him before he sleeps

you like dragging him to the kitchens to eat chocolate snacks with him before bed, but he gets nervous sneaking out sometimes

likes sitting underneath the big willow tree near the black lake with his head in your lap. please run your hands through his hair! 

ravenclaw: jake 

jake: quidditch team beater  

everyone really would’ve expected that he would’ve been in either gryffindor or hufflepuff just based on personality alone 

the sorting gave him a choice, and he just went with the house that had more of his friends that he made on the train 

he loves it when you show up to practice because now it’s even more awesome! now even more of his favorite people are in the same place

“babe look at this!” while he does a flip ??? 

if he falls off, now both you AND the rest of his team can laugh at him 

loves it even more if you show up to his games fully decked out (beyond his imagination) in his house colors, even if that’s not your house

he never expects this from you but he’s soooo happy when it happens that it motivates you to keep doing it 

self-declared next quidditch captain (and flitwick will give it to him) 

he’ll even tutor you in transfigurations (his best subject) for kisses, because despite being an athlete, he’s also got good grades???? sometimes god has favorites 

“if you think i’m a cool boyfriend, give me a kiss” 

his favorite type of date is sneaking out to the kitchens with you and sharing a pudding cake

slytherin: jay, sunoo

jay: quidditch team keeper  

unsurprisingly, jay comes from a long line of other slytherins

he’s pretty laidback compared to the rest of his family, but always insists that you go with him to family functions (because “baby they’re too boring without you!”) 

you two always end up at the snacks table gossiping with his cool cousins anyways 

flexes by buying you all your snacks on the train + of course covers all the dates 

pretty popular within slytherin house, but only because he’s good at quidditch and also has pretty good grades (in everything except herbology) 

hates the keeper pickup lines and jokes but likes 

lined up to be the next captain! 

claims he wants to work for the ministry of magic’s department of mysteries

“i got an image to keep”

whatever you say babygirl ^^

expects to be holding hands whenever you’re walking the halls with him

requires a good luck kiss before every quidditch match

sunoo: prefect 

a lot of people expected sunoo to get into hufflepuff! he defies expectations 

seriously, he made a name for himself within the house

with as ambitious as he is, it’s not that surprising to see that someone has confident and charming as him is in slytherin 

he’s someone with friends in every house, probably in every year too

he’s got an “in” with every club on hogwarts campus, so take your pick bae. the world’s your oyster! 

he flexes like jay, but instead of galleons, he takes you to restricted areas of campus using his prefect badge 

would actually help you break the rules if you wanted to

“you want to break in where?! okay, wait, let me get--” 

likes it when you compliment his thoughtfulness or talent in these areas 

his best subject is charms ;) 

his favorite pastime is watching quidditch practices with you, but all you do is yap together

[jacksjargon]

I'm typically only a reblogger when it comes to AFTG, but I physically couldn't help it when I stumbled across these shirts. So, here are some funny shirts that the Foxes would wear and why:

Aaron, for obvious reasons. Nicky have it to him and he wears it in secret. It's his comfort pajamas.

Renee gave this to Andrew and he wore it one (1) time and it was at an exy banquet while wild and fervent protests about his past were all over.

Any of them, really, but I imagine a three way tie between Wymack (not paid enough for this), Alison (she gives the vibe), and Dan (when anyone talks to her that she doesn't know)

Matt vibes. Dan defffffffinitely pegs that man. He thanks her.

Andrew. Renee gave him this one, too, but it's a common sight.

Aaron. Maybe Katelyn got this for him as a joke and he wears it as some pathetic, wet cat, Minyard way of processing love. They got engaged the same day. It becomes Aaron's lucky shirt.

This is either Nicky or Allison's. I feel like Nicky would wear it ironically, but it could also be one of those lesbian things for Alison

Aaron. Neil gets it for him and it's how they start to bond.

Kevin, little history bitch

Bee. The team gets it for her for her birthday. She wears it religiously every Friday.

Hear me out: Kevin. It starts as a joke because he's the only single fox (in a world where he and Thea aren't together, I'm not particularly fond of that ship), but then he wears it on a date because he's a dumbass at heart and forgot that the team would totally fuck with his closet and he managed to charm and bag the sexiest, most emotionally intelligent woman ever. They last for two years before Kevin finally realized he's gay, but they stay friends and laugh over everything.

Dan. She gives mad homebody vibes outside of exy.

Neil. Self explanatory.

Matt. He's such a wife guy, and honestly, good for him. I know that I would 100% let Danielle Wilds do whatever the hell she decided was best for me. Oh my shit.

Renee. This was from Andrew, as revenge for the other shirts. She treasures it, but only wears it on his birthday.

Alison and Neil buy it for the twins. I'm a strong advocate for bitchy friends. Love that for them

They only manage to evade death via Neil's survival skills, a pair of strappy heels, a spoon, and a small frog. Don't ask.

Matt and Nicky unironically share this shirt.

It was originally Matt's, but Dan claimed it as hers, and now he just sorts it into her clothes pile when it's his turn.

Wymack. I think Kevin would rather die than get this, so Dan (his adoptive sister), Alison (nosy bitch #1), and Neil (nosy bitch #2) tag team and sign his name for him. He goes on to have a mental breakdown, but he and Wymack get closer. Somehow it's revealed that Nicky wins the bet regarding what's going on between Wymack, Abby, and Bee.

Andrew bought this for Kevin.

Alison and Renee have matching shirts exactly like this. In response, Neil and Andrew have matching shirts that say "I like it bushy" with a cat in a bush. It's the first time the upperclassmen see Andrew smile like that without involving Neil.

This is what inspired this, actually. So, Neil. He'd wear this out and in press conferences just to piss Kevin off. Gives Andrew a heart attack every time he sees it, though he'll never admit it. No one's really sure how or where it came from, there's actually a betting pool regarding this. Alison has money on Andrew buying it. Nicky thinks it was Kevin. Renee even joined in by offering Neil.

(in reality, it was Abby. She thinks shit like this is funny. She's a fox, after all)

[inahallucination]

famous au but um dumb

@cowboylexapro

if the poets were on social media and famous this is what they'd be known for

(age somewhere between 19-21)

todd

tumblr blog name: toad.anderson

ao3 name: toad.writes

he's technically anon but not rlly

sexiest tumblr account known to man - he's a fanfic writer and an au poster with some occasional og stuff that floods his inbox with asks begging him to publish his og work too - what fandom does he write for? all of them.

his bf proof reads them all even if he's never been in the fandom

he writes fics for his friends when they get famous

in between his novel worthy fanfics are shitty fics of his friends

his followers get rlly confused

he wrote a neil x reader fic until straight girls started claiming it and he took it down becuz the reader was him

todd on his blog: guyss… im so sorry but im taking the neil x reader fic down… im sorry if i offend anyone but the reader was me ❤️ not you - i don't like you all claiming it

after taking down the x reader, he does a neil x oc but the oc is him but with green eyes

neil, after the oc gets described: todd the only person im seeing is u tho 😦 and u have blue eyes

eventually his relationship with famous tiktoker neil perry gets revealed and ppl realize he's not just an obsessed fan

after neil says the thing blog: toad.anderson: guys my real name is todd anderson everyone: omg we wouldve never guessed

after neil and him go public and ppl dont believe that neil is gay he alternates between seething and writing neil fics and taking joy from neil's confusion

todd points out comments that are obviously thirsting over neil and neil still doesn't realize he's being thirsted over

"neil be the father of my children!" "oh i think they meant that in a godfather type way"

todd, at a breaking point, suggests that neil and him post a kissing video but neil doesnt wanna be one of those shawn camilla couples - respect

what if he posted them kissing but he made a historians will call them bestfriends joke but then ppl did🧍‍♂️

"my bestie and I 🤩 " "NEIL PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK UR SERIOUS"

//

neil

tiktok name: neilliard.at.julliard

accidentally tiktok famous for pretty face, charming personality, acting abilities - the theater kids had a claim over him orignially but he's pretty mainstream now

comment section full of old grandmas trying to set him up with their granddaughters

everyones dream bf until he posted about his own bf

neil: my boyfie has a big tumblr and he writes a lot and he really likes frogs and he is also blond and heres his address

hes kinda oblivious about everything

"you want a close up of my collar bones? why ?"

reading comment "'show your abs?' its nice you think i have abs! only my boyfriend can see those tho 😉 "

the comments go wild

people are stitching it screaming for different reasons

all his fans r screaming into pillows bc HES TAKEN NOOO

people are trying to figure out who this mans boyfie is

"he has a boyfriend??" "he's been straightbaiting us!" "NOO HE'S TAKEN" "IS UR BF AS HOT AS U" "look at the way his eyes lit up when he said bf i love love" "this video shows an aspect of society that-"

"tell us about ur bf" and he makes a week worth of videos but its all random stuff

"my bf looks pretty in blue" "my bf likes to put salt and pepper on his fries" "my bf has hair"

the straightbaiting comments come after him posting about pride and having a pride flag in the background of his videos <- they say things like "he's such a good ally"

people attack others in the comments who ask him if hes queer "NO NEIL ISNT GAY NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY HE COULD JUST BE A REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FRUITY STRAIGHT GUY WHO LIKES GIRLS"

"are you gay neil???" -> "not everything has to be gay ppl can just be allys and btw by assuming every ally is gay, ur actually hurting the movement!!!" -> "i asked becuz he said he wanted to kiss his boy best friend on the lips in highschool" -> "he meant it heterosexual-ly"

someone asks him what his type is and he describes todd to the t and they think he likes a short haired blonde

"he likes girls in sweat pants not skirts" "his type isnt ppl in skirts" -- neil would love todd in a skirt but thats not the point

his type: "he's really shy, gorgeous, short dirty blonde hair, uhhhh, really smart, and So much more :))"

he could say my boyfriend is a man who i am dating because i am gay and they would still try to straight-ify him

a grainy video gets leaked of a short haired blond guy jumping into his arms and ppl say things like "its just a girl with short hair"

todd hate writes a neil x male reader fic

he asks his friends for help and they post todd's face everywhere on his recording set

he makes a video like "meet my toddy"

in the video todd says he's a boy and he's todd and he's neil boyfriend 3485757 times and neil is like "omg babe i love u too <33" becuz he doesnt Understand

some ppl r still in denial or think he's bi w/ a preference for girls

straight girls like him becuz he has a pretty face and a general respect for women

during prom season, he gets dmed a lot of websites for buying prom tickets

"don't worry guys! i know i said my high school time was rough, but i actually did go to prom with my bf!!"

//

charlie

twitter name: therealalpha

most popular podcast name: daltons intercourse

joke/bait account ppl took seriously

The Alpha that other alpha posters bow to

says stuff like "SIGMA MALES KISS ALPHAS ON THE MOUTH TO ASSURT DOMINANCE"

the twitter alphas buy into him so bad he's making podcasts and doign interviews and he has no clue how tf he got here but he's riding the high

he advocates for being alpha via kissing ur homies

when he gets famous he begs todd to write a fic about him

todd agrees pretty easily tbh

"ARE YOU EVEN AN ALPHA MALE IF PPL AREN'T WRITING GAY FICS ABOUT YOU"

charlie posts things like "no homo" "only the real make out with their homies" over those black and white pics of muscle-y dudes w/ no context after the neil video he posts "he homo" over one of them w/ no context

at first ppl try to attack him but then theyre like wtf is going on here and realize he's trolling the alpha community

when no one realizes neil is actually gay he makes a podcast episode talking about how he thinks neil is gay gay homosexual gay - he's holding a cigar and wearing a tight hawaiian unbuttoned shirt like "lets talk about this gay gay theater gay boykisser man"

made by @cowboylexapro

//

pitts

youtube name: gerdoesstuff

joint youtube name: idkman

homework help and crafts videos youtuber - relaxed vibes only here to be calm

he gives study and concentration tips and encourages ppl to seek help and companionship and not suffer alone

he paints mugs and looks for bugs

he was on charlie's podcast and they discussed the alpha-ness of making pottery

todd wrote a pitts x reader fic becuz ppl begged him to

pitts printed it out and framed it and put it in his filming set up

he's a regular on meeks podcast too btw and meeks is a regular on his

but when meeks is around things explode so

he has a second channel with meeks where they do silly experiments

theyre posting schedule is non-existent and they also do streams but they never tell you so their viewers just have to hope and find out

knox and him are planning on making a movie review channel but its still not fully thought out so

he makes couple mugs for todd and neil when neil asks for help

he wakes up at 2 am and sends todd prompts

anytime he learns a fun fact he sends it to todd on the off chance todd may need it for a story at some point in his life

anytime he reads anything he's like damn neil will love to act like this character and lets him know about it

he sends charlie alpha podcasters to make fun of

at some point he exposes cam's shitty handwriting for the giggles

knox

instagram name: knoxious.ur.mom.ious

he posted a short on his instagram talking about how he just learned hair grows from the head and not the bottom and blew up for being a dummy - he doesn't know whats going on but he's having a blast

he stirs up drama but on accident

he was on pitts youtube before

out of everyone here he's the only one not making content he's just vibing

eventually he ends up posting background footage of everyone doing dumb shit

when it comes out theyre friends ppl stalk his instagram to find more proof

after that he starts to stir drama but more consciously

hmm what else - idk he's just chilling, getting called out for being dumb and watching his friends do dumb stuff

oh wait when he makes that short about the hair a bunch of commentary channels post about it and he takes it like a badge of honor

cameron

instagram name: cam.studies

pinterest name: cam.studies

one of those aesthetic studying accounts on insta and pinterest - takes nice shots of his homework and his pen collections and his study desk

except its only for the pics his handwriting is atrocious - he has like one page or paragraph of pretty handwriting to post and the rest is scribbled chaos - his pens are never organized by color, theyre just thrown in a box, and his desk is filled with papers and books and never looks clean but its fine he's just here for clout

he ends up sponsoring and reviewing businesses that make those cute study supplies so now he has a hoard - or at least he did until his friends started taking them

he groaned about the cam.studies x {random ass ppl} fics todd wrote but he thinks theyre funny and has them bookmarked

he went on charlie's podcast and the two argued for half of it and then explained how as two alphas they would settle their differences by kissing

his friends help him angle his aesthetic shots at cafes and shit

he got exposed eventually as a fake becuz ppl (cough) posted his real notes which were messy and disorganized

but he played it off as a commentary about how the internet is fake and got more sponsorships

he judges todd and neil but is eating popcorn at the front seat of the drama

meeks

podcast name: chameleon hotel

youtube channel name: idkman

meeks makes a podcast for very stupid intricate crimes. he has a cult following of bisexuals

its stuff like drama over a tree being taken down

"the locals even called their beloved tree 'ole alvin'"

charlie: todd write a meeks x ole alvin fic

he has standards, so he does

he went on charlie's podcast and convinced ppl that being with other men allowed u to suck in their alpha-ness and become the ultimate alpha

but generally he just makes his little silly videos and makes cryptic posts about the neil todd drama

has a joint channel w/ pitts

is up to date with the neil thing and is the one to send neil updates

he tries to convince neil to act out his podcasts (with a lot of success lmao)

he tries to convince todd to write fics based on his podcasts (also with a lot of success)

as payback for the ole alvin x meeks fic he convinces todd (very easily) to write a bunch of dumb charlie fics and todd agrees becuz he has standards

no one actually knows that the poets know each other

they eventually post a group photo

"we need to cancel neil perry for being friends with an alpha podcast guy" "nah thats just charlie"

"yall know hes bi, right?"

"he literally has a podcast about how sucking dick as a man makes u the ultimate alpha male"

it does explain why charlie's alpha podcast go from tiktok actor, tumblr fanfic writer, instagram study blog, fellow podcaster, hw help tiktoker in between his satire of normal alpha tiktokers

half of these things are like copy and pasted from our conversation btw so dont blame me for them

[nerdygaymormon]

Happy Pride

I want to wish a happy Pride to:

Vests

The vest is an iconic lesbian wardrobe staple. For a long time, lesbian fashion has incorporated staples of working-class men's clothing because they are practical and unpolished, which is not typical of women's fashions, and therefore it challenges gender norms. Vests can be formal or casual, they are familiar yet subversive when worn by women, thus making them a lesbian standard.

Frog and Toad

These cottagecore gays are good role models of a loving queer relationship. The first Frog and Toad book was published in 1970. In 1974, the author Arnold Lobel came out as gay to his family. Arnold's daughter has said, “I think ‘Frog and Toad’ really was the beginning of him coming out” because they're “of the same sex and they love each other.” So yes, Frog & Toad are a gay couple.

Cake

In the 1990's and early 2000's, a popular dessert was the Better Than Sex Cake, which was a rich chocolate cake. Well, when you're asexual, the name of that cake hits a little different. In 2004, asexuality.org (AVEN) started using cake as a symbol of asexualness since they believe cake IS better than sex. Asexuals may not have much of an appetite for sex, but that does not mean they have no appetites, thus the popular phrase "I'd rather have cake."

Limp Wrists

Why do we associate a limp wrist with male homosexuality? The ancient Romans viewed limp wrists as effeminate, and the association was further strengthened in the 17th & 18th centuries as one hand with a limp wrist and the other hand placed on the hip in an "I'm a Little Teapot" pose was seen as something men in the royal courts would do, and that sort of leisurely life was considered unmanly. In the modern era queer men have been seen as effeminate, so the limp wrist became associated with them. This association was embraced and reclaimed by queer men, and the wider queer community as a whole.

Unicorns

Unicorns have been used in art since the 4th century BCE and it was the Victorians who firmly linked unicorns with rainbows. In 1978, Gilbert Baker created the rainbow flag as a joyous symbol of the queer community. Given that rainbows and unicorns are so intrinsically linked, it’s unsurprising that the mythical creature started to also be used as a symbol for LGBTQ+ people.

Pansies

“Daisy,” “buttercup,” and especially “pansy,” are flowers which have been used to mean a “flamboyant gay man.” Sometimes the word "pansy" has been positive, sometimes definitely not. In the 1920's & 1930's, the underground clubs of the Prohibition era became a hotspot for queer nightlife with drag queens becoming hugely popular entertainment even among the straight clientelle, and this became known as the "Pansy Craze" in reference to the colorful clothing the performers wore. In 2013, because of the association the pansy has to queer people, a group of people in Atlanta used them to block out hatred by putting cardboard pansies on poles tall enough to block the protesters’ signs, and voila, the Pansy Patrol was born.

Queer Sitting

Improperly sitting is one of many seemingly arbitrary traits (like walking fast and being unable to drive) that the online queer community has claimed as part of queer culture, but it's deeper than it seems. Girls are often taught to sit like a lady, such as keeping their knees pressed together, therefore an act of rebellion can be a woman sitting incorrectly. By not sitting properly, it's a rejection of rules about what we can do with our bodies. In movies & television, for decades censorship codes worked to silence queer voices, and creators developed sophisticated ways of coding queerness through body language, such as the way a character sits. Queer sitting resists the process of assimilation and instead says: do what feels right, do with your body what you would like, not what you are told is proper.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Many of us in the queer community take RuPaul's Drag Race for granted with its 15+ seasons, multiple Emmy wins, spin-offs like All Stars & Secret Celebrity, 15 different international versions, a successful Las Vegas show, and the many memes and catchphrases that have come from the show. It’s easy to forget in the 2000's things were very different. There were gay characters on TV and reality shows like Survivor had openly gay contestants, but until RuPaul’s Drag Race premiered in 2009 there wasn’t a truly successful series made by queer creators, starring queer cast members, and made specifically for a queer audience.

RuPaul's Drag Race brought drag performance to a large audience and presents topics traditionally considered taboo on television, such as that it's okay to not conform to societal expectations around gender and sexuality. The show has spread awareness and acceptance as it provides positive representation of queer people and humanizes us as it showcases the struggles of gay, lesbian, gender-nonconforming and transgender people and as the contestants tell stories of coming out, being affected by HIV/AIDS, being rejected by their families and attacked in the streets.

Quiche

in Anglo-American culture, French cuisine is not viewed as "manly" food, which is the first mark against quiche. During the 1970s, quiche was served at brunch spots frequented by gay men which led to it being seen as a quintessentially queer dish, another mark against this food. Quiche became seen as so effeminate that a 1982 best-selling book satirizing masculine stereotypes was titled Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. Instead of the French name "quiche," if it had been called "scrambled egg pie" it likely wouldn't be considered a food for women and the gays, which just goes to show how lame it is to think of food as gendered in some way, but as long as they keep serving it for brunch, we'll keep eating it

Tumblr

Tumblr is known as "queerest place on the internet" and as a platform that "queer[ed] an entire generation." According to Tumblr, the people who use its site are 193% more likely to be LGBTQ compared to those on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Reddit, Twitter, and Pinterest. Tumblr estimates that 1 in 4 of its users identifies as LGBTQ. An important reason for this is that Tumblr does not require identity cues to be featured, such age, gender, location, relationship status or legal name, which allows users control over their self-presentation and makes it far less likely family and friends may discover their Tumblr account. This privacy allows queer people on Tumblr to feel more comfortable exploring and expressing their queerness.

Tumblr has been a place of important contributions to queer culture. One example is the large number of queer Pride flags which were first introduced and adopted on Tumblr:

In 2010 Jasper V. introduced his design for a Pansexual flag on Tumblr.

The Polysexual flag was created in 2012 by a Tumblr user named Tomlin. 

The Genderfluid flag was created by agender Tumblr user JJ Poole in 2014.

The Agender pride flag was designed by Salem X in 2014 on Tumblr.

The Aromantic flag was created and posted by Tumblr user cameronwhimsy in 2014.

The omnisexual flag was designed in 2015 by Tumbler user pastelmemer.

Tumblr user 2Sanon posted a 2 Spirit flag in 2016.

In 2018 a nonbinary lesbian Tumblr blogger named Emily Gwen introduced the Sunset Lesbian flag to be inclusive of butch, trans, and enby lesbians.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Brief history of this request! 🤡 I originally wrote this as a response to it; the original interaction went up a little while before the book 7 part 3 update was released… and that update happened to give us a lot more information about the Shroud family dynamics. It was unfortunately bad timing!

This post is a rewrite which incorporates the new Shroud family canon from the update.

***Contains major plot spoilers for book 6 of the main story!***

Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.

The students of Night Raven College had become accustomed to rather odd sightings—so when young Ortho Shroud sailed by them with two floating tablets in tow, no one batted an eye at it. That shut-in brother of his, the rumor was, maybe he multiplied. In a sense, there was truth to that theory.

“It’s so nice to have the whole family together!” gushed a woman’s squeaky voice from one device. “Isn’t it, Papa? Everyone’s so busy, we hardly get to do these kinds of things anymore.”

Beside her, her husband cleared his throat. He replied with a blunt, somewhat stiff, “Mmm, quite. It is… certainly a different environment than the laboratory.”

Idia didn’t know which was worse—his mother’s smothering cuteness, or his father’s calculating aloofness. The love and the logic. In anime and manga, they were amusing enough archetypes. But in reality? Cringe with a capital C, especially when they were acting as a unit in public.

He could feel the heat of his peers’ gazes directed at him as they passed like phantoms trailing over a graveyard. The curiosity, the whispers, the stares. The only thing that was keeping Idia sane was the safety offered by his tablet’s screen.

Hunkered down in his Ignihyde bedroom, he was safe from direct judgment—but not free of the embarrassment his parents provided. No, that was always eternal.

“Wh-Why did you guys even bothering showing up on the NRC Family Day banner…” Idia grumbled under his breath. Man, the one time I didn’t want to pull the SSRs… and they came home anyway!

There was an appalled gasp from the end of the line. “Of course Mama and Papa came! It’s Family Day. It’s a time us parents to see what mischief our genius little boys have gotten up to while they’re away!”

Idia couldn’t see his mother’s image on her screen, but he could only imagine she was winking in a conspiring manner to Mr. Shroud. He would give an awkward smile beneath his helmet and probably say something in agreement with her.

“Ideally, we’ve have liked to come in person,” his mother continued.

Mr. Shroud cleared his voice and neatly cut in. “However, with the recent incident… well, let’s just say we’ve had to lay low and wait for the dust to settle. My staff are working overtime moderating the metrics of this situation.”

“Quite right, dear! We can’t exactly waltz into Night Raven College! It would put us at risk of being scrutinized, especially with all the viral internet rumors swirling around.”

“Shadowy secret organization puppeteers Twisted Wonderland,” Mr. Shroud recited, shaking his head in disapproval, “Lizard people real, global warming is a hoax, tap water turning the frogs gay… Where do the youths come up with such preposterous claims?”

They’re covering their bases, Idia told himself. After that incident… We never wiped the subjects’ memories with the River Lethe. It exposes a chink in our armor—they could talk, spread what they know.

Then… Th-There’s no way people wouldn’t be curious. Internet sleuths with nothing better to do will dig up dirt from the most obscure corners of the web and tout it as truth!! That’s why even STYX has been having such a hard time containing it.

“What are you gonna do? Haters gonna hate.” Idia shrugged. “… I get it. You don’t have to go explaining yourselves to us. It’s a waste of breath.”

Cynicism slipped in at the last second. A habit, hard to squash.

Ortho chimed in, clearing the air with his cheer. “Nii-san’s right! What’s important is that we get to spend time together, bonding like any other family does.”

He extended his arms to them, as if reaching for hands to hold. Bur though there was nothing for the android to grasp, there was no hiding his effervescent smile. “I’m really happy that we can do this!”

Idia’s heart, so familiar with the ice that encased the Phantoms and the chill of Tartarus, melted. “Ortho…”

An ear-splitting squeal came from one of the tablets. “Kyaaaah! You’re so cute, Or-kun!! Mama wishes she was right there on Sage’s Island to squish your little face!! You too, Idia-kun! Don’t think you can escape from your mother!”

Mr. Shroud’s voice dragged into a patient sigh. “We discussed keeping a low profile.”

“Aww, but papa!” (Idia could practically hear the pout in her tone.) “It’s a parent’s instinct to want to hug and shower her children with love~”

“Y-You’re going to attract unwanted attention though…” Idia nervously pointed out—one thing he could see eye-to-eye with his father on. They were split down the middle.

Through his camera, he could already spot passerbys slowing and staring. Sweat collected on his palms, on his forehead.

“What’s going on over there…?”

“There’s a boy with blue flames for hair.”

“Is he a Shroud?”

“He has weird things floating around him.”

Unperturbed, Ortho waved at the curious gawkers. “Hello!! I’m spending time with my family today!” he announced with his full chest out.

“Aw, what an adorable kid.”

“Are they phoning in? Gosh, they must be busy—but they still care enough to attend. That’s great!”

“Have fun with your family, champ!!”

Eh? Ehhhhh?! What’s what this after-school special I’m seeing play out?! Everyone’s so upbeat and sparkling… a-almost like one of Cater-shi’s impossible Magicam filters was just applied to the whole campus!!

Something in Idia wanted to scoff at the sight, to dismiss it outright. For as long as he could remember, the Shrouds had been shunned by the sunlight. A bloodline cursed by the gods. Never to be heroes, never normal.

But if Ortho is happy, then… this was all worth it, wasn’t it?

Yet something else, too, called out. Some small, almost forgotten, fragmented part of him. A small flower growing in the darkest pits of the Underworld.

Hope.

A zero that had suddenly turned into 0.001%. Connected again, heart to heart—even if only for a single fleeting moment.

“… Dad, mom, Ortho,” Idia said slowly, “we can’t stand around like NPCs waiting to be talked to. We’ll miss out on the limited time event. Let’s go, the whole party.”

“Nii-san…!!”

Ortho’s whole face lit up, his joy turning absolutely electric. He nearly tackled Idia’s device as he seized it and spun in a giddy circle. There was laughter from the younger Shroud, and confused sputtering from the elder one.

“Would you look at that, Papa?” Mrs. Shroud giggled softly to herself. “It looks like our boys have become such good friends.”

“… That’s good,” her husband replied. “I was concerned that Idia was still beside himself with grief—but thankfully, he’s made tremendous progress.”

“Ehehehe. It’s all thanks to Or-kun coming into our lives. He ended up being the password to unlocking Idia’s almost impenetrable fire walls.”

“Indeed. Our children have come a long way.” The corners of Mr. Shroud’s lips threatened to pull up and back. “No longer boys, but young men.”

[brickstuck]

MEET JAY WALKER, THE CREATIVE SPARK

Species: human Pronouns: He/Him Age: 19 Voice claim: Jay Walker (Michael Adamthwaite) - Ninjago Screen name: dynatronAlloy Typing style: Often ends sentences with “...”, loves using “white boy words”  EX: DA: Be myself...?? Kai, I have one day to win Nya over… How long did it take before you guys started liking me…?? Text color: Cornflower Blue #6495ED Title: Page of Space - Sparks of Creation - Prospit Dreamer Planet: Land of Scraps and Frogs Consort: Giraffe  Strife Specibus: kusarigamakind, nunchuckkind  Fetch Modus: Math (works like the servers in VotV)  User picks 0-9 as an answer to a simple equation. Ex. 4 - 7 = 3 (-3) Ex. 4 + 7 = 1 (11) Pastel yellow cards Server host: Nya Server Client: Cole Guardian: Ed and Edna (Adoptive parents, he acknowledges this)  Likes: creating things, scarves, social media, worrying(he’s anxious lol) Dislikes: being talked over, talking in general, loud sudden sounds Linked characters: Nya: best friend  Kai: Other best friend(In a gay way) Ehmkay: Troll Harumi: Tries to fuck with him a lot

[twstfanblog]

Twist OC Fankid Info 2

Ashengrotto Twins

**Charysa Ashengrotto-Crewel**

Age: 17 (Feb 22, Eldest twin)

School: Sophmore at NCR. Member of the Tennis Club and Co-Housewarden of Heartslabyul.

Height: 5'5"

Hair: Mid-back length lilac hair, normally in twin tails

Eyes: Dark blue

Likes: 'Plushies', romance novels, making colored sand art, poetry, word puzzles, accessories of all kinds

Dislikes: 'Stuffed Animals', being broken up with, rumors (That she didn't start), horror movies, losing

Pets?: A bloom of Jellyfish. She and Scylar cried until Azul bought sea real estate to keep them safe.

Fav Food: Spicy Seafood Alfredo

Who's their Best Friend?: Scylar ♡

Dating/Crush?: A revolving door of shitty boyfriends and a very sweet secret admirer

Part one of the fast-talking con-artist Ashengrotto twins. They will talk you into a verbal contract to do their homework for months. But you can pay them to drop it.

Charysa is a hopeless romantic who misses every red flag when she falls in love. Luckily, her family is so intense about finances that Azul scares off every last one that makes it to meeting him. (If you plan on dating either of Azul's direct daughters, you better have excellent credit, a hand balanced checkbook, and be prepared to set up your 401K. Legal documentation is mandatory). If Azul doesn't scare them off, Scylar will.

She has a secret admirer who lifts her spirit with thoughtful gifts after every failed relationship and is lowkey keeping her love of romance alive.

Pretty laidback but is weirdly intense about her tennis record. The only person she's lost to in a match is Finley and she's keeping it that way. (Tennis ball coming at you going Mach 14)

Kind of a crybaby, but has actually broken people's bones for making fun of her siblings. (She snapped one child's finger in kindergarten for saying her twin looked gross)

Sadly, gets periods along with Yuu and Malgona.

Unique Magic: Siren Song. No one is really sure if it is a unique spell since it's a shared spell between the twins. When they both sing in harmony, it makes for a hypnotic effect that briefly brings people under their command. Not used very often as they don't have much control over whoever hears their song since they need to sing the commands in perfect harmony.

Any time they HAVE used it, it was clearly premeditated and they were grounded afterwards.

**Scylar Ashengrotto-Crewel**

Age: 17 (Feb 22, Youngest twin)

School: Sophmore at NCR. Member of the NRC Choir and Co-Housewarden of Heartslabyul.

Height: 5'5"

Hair: Mid-back length lilac hair, normally in a ponytail

Eyes: Dark blue

Likes: 'Stuffed Animals', concerts, social media, economics, fashion, gaudy jewelry, singing.

Dislikes: 'Plushies', frogs, her sister getting a new boyfriend, spicy food, Men.

Pets?: A bloom of jellyfish. She and Charysa insist that Azul call them by their names properly.

Fav Food: Seafood Alfredo

Who's their Best Friend?: Charysa ♡

Dating/Crush?: Looking for a cute girlfriend

Distinguished lesbian, threw a fit when she was picked by the mirror as an NRC scholarship student when she was set to go to an all-girls school instead. While more fem-presenting people have been accepted and invited to attend NRC in the recent years, Scylar is still mad because no one has caught her eye yet and is CONVINCED if she had gone to an all-girls school she'd be engaged by now.

The more violent of the twins but also the most logical. She is the one planning on how to jump someone at a later date if anyone DARES fuck over she and her sister. The twins do not fight fair and will ambush you together.

She is fully aware of who her sister's secret admirer is and is TRYING to get him to confess so she can stop dealing with her sister's terrible boyfriends. He keeps refusing and claiming things are best the way they are. Scylar just assumes he doesn't have the proper legal documents he needs to meet Azul.

The 'tired gay' of the family, though JJ disagrees.

Unique Magic: Siren Song. No one is really sure if it is a unique spell since it's a shared spell between the twins. When they both sing in harmony, it makes for a hypnotic effect that briefly brings people under their command. Not used very often as they don't have much control over whoever hears their song since they need to sing the commands in perfect harmony.

She's more talented than her sister in the singing department, but the skill seems to split evenly during the spell. So, Scylar works hard to improve her singing to make their spell stronger.

And that's the twins! Onto the Eldest Vipers!

[absentmindedadmirer]

Marine Bio Headcanons

Mental illness held me in a vice grip because I cannot stop thinking about the marine biology club. interacting. OCEANS is a little family and you cannot tell me otherwise-

General Headcanons:

Kaoru likes pulling on the ribbon that holds Souma's hair up to tease him. If only every time he did it, he wouldn't have his nose nearly cut off by Souma's sword.

No matter how many times any of them towel him down, Kanata will be completely drenched the next minute.

When Souma isn't looking, Kaoru switches his homescreen to a goofy picture the group took at an aquarium in sea creature onesies and random aquarium merch.

Souma gripes at him for it before setting it back to an Akatsuki group pic but Kaoru notices that when the phone flashes with a notif later that Souma set the picture as his lock screen.

Kanata never yells but when he gets mad, the aura is absolutely menacing and everyone hurries to cheer him up.

Kanata likes showing Souma sea creatures the most (alongside Shinobu) because Souma responds with a childlike excitement and wonder, his eyes sparkling as he itches to name the next one he sees. He often thinks about how to bring up to Kuro and Keito that he wants to steal their child.

Kaoru likes nuzzling his head against dolphins like those trainers.

Kanata saw this and wanted to try and Kaoru moved aside thinking Kanata was going to nuzzle the dolphin. Instead, Kanata dived towards Kaoru and bumped their foreheads together, laughing.

Izumi is terrified of frogs and when Shinobu's chasing them, he often ends up running as well.

Shinobu was so scared to pet a dolphin but when Kanata guided his hand to its head, he now didn't want to leave it and the other three had to drag him out of the water.

Marine Bio Club (! era):

Kanata doesn't like parting with the sea creatures. Once Kaoru and Souma noticed that it was getting dark and tried to get Kanata to go home but he kept pouting, hugging various fish tanks as Karou and Souma have to pry him off.

Kanata likes initiating group hugs between the three of them and Souma and Kaoru try to stay the furthest away from each other.

Kaoru usually sputter something like, "Ew, I don't want to be near a man." And Souma replies, "Well, I don't want to be near a disgrace to society." Before they fight too much, Kanata just knocks their head together.

Kaoru liked jokingly asking Souma to make him a bento like Souma does for Adonis (Adonis does not stop talking about Souma during club meetups and Kaoru initially pays attention if only to make fun of them).

Souma thinks he's serious and vehemently refuses. This only makes Kaoru curious and when Souma's still stubborn about it, he claims that he can just steal some of Adonis' lunch to which Souma threatens to cut his head off like the ingrate he is.

Kanata likes taking the creatures out for 'walks' where he just picks up a bunch of them and piles them on his head and shoulders and just walks across the school grounds. Souma and Kaoru are running after him with as many fish tanks they can physically carry with them yelling at him to put them back.

Souma does not make Kaoru food but instead reluctantly offers to teach him how to make some of the dishes he uses. Kaoru uses them pretty frequently actually and in turn picked out a seafood recipe specifically that he knew and taught it to Souma, which the latter was extremely happy about!!

For someone who was so repulsed by males in his "I hate men, I'm not gay!" era, Kaoru shows a lot of physical affection towards these two, usually pinching Souma's cheek or ruffling and patting Kanata's head. Towards the latter half of the I era, he starts leaning his head on both when pointing or looking at things.

Kaoru accompanies Adonis to Akatsuki performances insisting that he's being a very good senior to his precious underclassman. He's really just curious about Souma's performances.

Souma doesn't believe that Kaoru goes to his performances because the man was suble about it, and says so when Kaoru mentions it in the clubroom later. Kaoru then makes it a mission to be the absolute loudest member in the audience. Keito and Kuro notice him and raise an eyebrow and Adonis is confused but is happy that Kaoru is supporting Souma so he just happily shakes the glowstick. At the end of the performance, Souma throws his fan towards the audience, square at Kaoru's face. Kaoru then threatens to keep it and they argue after the live. The next day after an UNDEAD live, Souma (who went to watch Adonis), Souma reluctantly compliments Kaoru on his performance as well.

Kanata likes patting Kaoru and Souma on the head- 1. to diffuse arguments between the two and 2. ever since Chiaki taught him what a headpat was, he's been obsessed with doing it to everyone.

Kaoru, at first, doesn't appreciate being touched by a man of all things, but he warms up to, and finds a lot of comfort in being patted on the head. Souma always likes being praised and he strives to get pet on the head. Jealousy over such praise often end up in more subdued passive aggressive arguments between the two and Kanata just uses both hands to tap them on the head, coddling them.

Kaoru likes staying as long as possible in the clubroom because he doesn't want to go home.

When Souma catches him, he says that he's doing it so that the fish aren't lonely. Souma doesn't believe that one bit but he argues that he can keep the fish company and stays there. Kanata joins in because he wants to stay with the fishies too. This isn't the last impromptu sleepover they'll ever have and by the sixth one, Kaoru is joking they should have matching onsies. Kanata's eyes sparkles and they literally cannot turn back. Souma gets a turtle onesie, Kaoru gets a dolphin one and Kanata gets a jellyfish one Souma and Kaoru bury their onesies in the back of their closets praying that it will never see the light of day outside the clubroom..

Once Kaoru's sister asked him to style her hair for a special occasion. Not really knowing anyone with longer hair than him, he asks Souma to style his hair as practice and Souma threatens to cut Kaoru's own with his sword.

Souma actually relents ,during an impromptu sleepover, when he figures out the reasoning and Kaoru feels like he's treading over a mine field as he braids Souma's hair. Kanata wanted to join in so he braid Kaoru's hair in little plaits and Souma ties Kanata's now short hair in a ponytail that sprouts from the top of his head.

Shinobu visited the marine bio club once and Souma showed him Kamegorou (the lil turtle!!!).

The turtle crawled on Shinobu, causing him to panic, but when Souma told him that Kamegorou like him, Shinobu didn't feel like getting the turtle off and made it a mission to not disturb it as much as possible. He almost left the room with Kamegorou still perched on his head.

Izumi, when he visited the marine bio club, just wanted to see what Kaoru found so interesting about it. When learning the tanks were open, he warns everyone to not let his clothes get wet.

Kaoru, who had his hands deep into a tank wading his arms around, then playfully flicks water at Izumi, and Izumi proceeds to ask Souma to borrow his sword.

OCEANS (!! era):

Souma spends a lot of time in the marine bio room in the school looking after the sea creatures. Shinobu helps him out because he feels an obligation to.

They spend the whole time gushing about turtles and frogs and have a competition to see who can name the most creatures.

Kaoru used to just soak in a lot of the info his mom rambled about during her work as a marine biologist.

Therefore, when they see a creature in an exhibit, he randomly decides to infodump on the animal. Izumi and Kanata are the only ones who know where such info comes from, so they listen intently. Souma and Shinobu just stare, confused, before turning to name the creature "Peppy" or something.

Kanata is fascinated by penguins.

They all went to the zoo and it took one momentary blink for the group to lose Kanata. Souma freaks when he catches sight of Kanata all the way down in the penguin pen, waddling his arms around alongside them. Shinobu is the first to voice his concern for his unitmate, albeit loudly. Kaoru's concerned, but the only sentiment he can let out is that it would be embarrassing to kicked out of a zoo of all places. Bystanders end up catching a glimpse of three teenagers scaling down a wall (they were trying to be discreet but Shinobu and Souma's yelling made it anything but) while Izumi is standing by the railing stuck in between calling out to them in concern and pretending he does. not know who they are. (He refused to ruin his clothes and Kaoru simply had to question that if he had clothes he didn't want to ruin, why did he bring them to the z o o ? )

Shinobu and Izumi catch wind of the onesies.

Kanata stated it pretty openly actually, sending the other two in a panic.

Shinobu, to their surprise, was very enthusiastic about it, wanting a frog onesie for himself.

Kanata happily got it for him and before Izumi could voice that he did not need one, Kaoru ordered him a penguin onesie.

Kanata wanted to wear them together but Kaoru figured that three people who graduated should not break into the school and stay there all night.

So they wear it on late nights in the aquarium and stay as long as it closes. (Sometimes they fall asleep on the floor and each other and get woken up by security, yikes)

Kaoru loves having another junior to tease so he likes messing with Shinobu as he did with Souma the year before (not that he would ever stop).

Shinobu doesn't know what's going on but he's not sure he likes it. Souma's always one to shove him away from Kaoru, shaking his head (no death threats this time tho!)

Shinobu once saw Kaoru surfing and praised his cool ninja-like moves.

When Shinobu lamented that he couldn't anything nearly as neat as surf as Kaoru did, Kaoru asked Shinobu to show him his ninja tricks which Shinobu happily obliged and now he regularly shows them to Kaoru.

Izumi had an intense fear of touching sea creatures at first.

The four of them, when they realised his hesitance, chanted around him in a circle to cheer him on to touch a baby seal at an exhibit. He eventually did and now he has a soft spots for baby seals.

Kanata is very proud of his junior unitmate for sharing his interest in the sea and spares no time in patting his head. Shinobu is happy that he is praised and the two have a stronger bond over the ocean. Kanata is very proud of his child :>

A dolphin, once at an exhibit, grabbed one of Izumi's loose jacket sleeves (This is why you actually wear your coat!) and wouldn't let it go.

After a brutal tug of war, Izumi lost. And was tugged into the water, leaving Kaoru hysterical, Shinobu concerned, and Souma trying to stop Kanata from jumping in alongside him.

Souma and Kaoru tag team to make a picnic for them on one of their aquarium visits.

Shinobu jumps into the kitchen wanting to help out, and he does with various ingredients and grabbing things for the two, but ends up clutching to the twos' arms when he's in front of an open flame (He's still scarred from Tetora's wreckless cooking bye). Izumi was about to help but all his nagging and comments about exact measurings and flavourings made Kaoru shoo him out the kitchen. Kanata's just there melting into the table, wondering when he can see the fishies (and eat them).

Shinobu convinced Souma to play hide and seek with him during aquarium visits.

Somehow, it ends up with the other three spending two hours trying to find them.

Marine Bio Club is one of my favourite groups ever for 7 years you guys don't understand oughdkhgfkh Izumi and Shinobu are such a perfect addition too!! I love this group and HappyEl has barely given us any content on the entire group but this is how they interact and nobody can tell me otherwise <3

More Enstars Headcanons:

Class 3-A || Class 3-B || Valkyrie Photoshoot || How the ES!! Boys Text {StarPro Edition}

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

What classic children’s books (like the magic tree house, box car children, babysitters club; etc) would the ss characters have grown up reading in modern day?

This is solely based on ones that I'm familiar with, and my mom didn't let me read a lot of very normal things for odd reasons. (Not bad reasons just odd. It's a long story.) So. Disclaimer. Also some of these are a little older this has mostly just become books that they would have read in elementary/middle school and liked.

Juliette: Not a book but she either hated Gnomeo and Juliet and said that Juliet stole her name or she loved it and was obsessed with it. As for books? Nancy Drew.

Roma: Wanted to read Rainbow Magic Fairies so bad but his dad wouldn't let him because his dad is a dick. Land of Stories maybe? Series of Unfortunate Events.

Benedikt: Spiderwick Chronicles. Frog and Toad.

Marshall: Animorphs. Also definitely a Percy Jackson kid. Goosebumps. Geronimo Stilton. Read Twilight at 11 or something and was traumatized.

Rosalind: Dork Diaries, Rainbow Magic Fairies. Sisters Grimm.

Celia: Horse girl books because I thought about it for some reason idk and I think she would have had a horse girl phase. Also the idea of her being able to read Melissa or something like that makes me very happy.

Alisa: Series of Unfortunate Events. City of Ember. Warrior Cats. I Survived. Artemis Fowl. Elatsoe.

Orion: Rainbow Magic Fairies, Fugde. Also anything Oliver read because he looked up to Oliver a lot. He read Magisterium in middle school and 100% thought Cal and Aaron were gay for each other.

Oliver: The One and Only Ivan (and various other horrible sad middle grade books that are really really good and make you cry). Also Alan Gratz books. Carl Hiaasen books maybe?

Phoebe: Deeply unfortunate KOTLC phase and was definitely a Linhella shipper. She and Silas were both weirdly obsessed with The Spider and the Fly when they were little and it freaked Orion out. She read Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World in middle school and was a sobbing mess.

Silas: I'm claiming him as a Magic Treehouse kid. Also Mr. Lemoncello's Library. Ivy and Bean. The Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus books made him irrationally angry. Also you cannot tell me that 7 year old Silas did not sit there meticulously searching through Where's Waldo books for hours. Series of Unfortunate Events.

[iobakena]

Iobakena's Tattoo Ideas ⁰¹

Had a burst of creativity and needed to do something with it. So here are some colorful ideas for simple, not that unique, tattoos!! Please read everything if you're considering doing one of those designs (doubt it, but still).

01 — Rat Doing The Gay Hand

This lovely little guy is asking if you're gay, do you answer him? Choose wisely and never lie, as he can sense your gayness from afar.

This specific design was, of course, the first one, the predecessor to all those who follow. I really loved the results, he's very expressive and looks so damn tired! Perfect boy.

02 — High Ass Witch Kitty

A wouldn't want a kitty to smoke whatsoever, but a (implied) conscious kitty witch who can make their own decisions in their life? Heck yeah I want them to smoke!

This design came out looking a lot like Kasey Golden's art, especially the tongue! I guess it's difficult to not mimic someone else's art when you have been following their journey for years, and even more when the artist in question helped you through your own art journey. Anyways, what a silly little non-binary kitty. Hope they can get a girlfriend or something.

03 — Frog With High Heels

Frogs have awesome thick legs, you can ask the french about it. Or not, I've never interacted with french people, but they might be chill. So-- Why not rock some high heels to go with said legs? She looks high, you say? No, of course not.

The designing process was a bit tiring but still fun, since I was nineteen percent of the time thinking she looked like Pou. You know, the old mobile game pet alien thingy. She still looks like him, but that doesn't bother me anymore.

Send an Ask!!!

If you want to see more tattoos like those, and you have some wacky ideas I can try, send me an ask and I will gladly do you design!! Or you can just ask me to draw anything that is not related to this tattoo post, I would love to do drawing requests here!

Permission Disclaimer

If you want to tattoo any of these, ask beforehand! But why should I ask you permission, if you're already doing these for tattooing? These designs are not even that original, why should I ask?

Great question! Although I would love to see those working as tattoos, and would be very proud of myself for doing a design so good it needed to be immortalized in someone else's mortal skin, I don't feel comfortable not being credited for it. I will explain.

A lot of posts from Tumblr™ get reposted on all social media, which means that ill-intentioned people might see this. I've seen a lot of bad (as in morals, not talent) tattoo artists that ended up claiming other people's drawings as their own work. I wouldn't like that to happen to me. And some people even treat any drawing, without even knowing the original artist, as a tattoo and do it without asking.

Of course, if you ask me permission I will grant you on the spot, just understand that I have my reasons to put the disclaimer there, on each image. Thank you for reading.

TLDR: Reposts in other socials may cause people to not credit me, and claim my art as their own. I'm protecting my art.

What a big post, huh?

[ma-lark-ey]

I feel like challenging GOD so in my first ever read of Harry Potter I will be listing all of my headcanons in one big master post and sending it into the void space of tumblr thank you goodbye. I have no concept over which of these are hottakes, which of these are widely accepted, and which of them are just me being batshit crazy because as I write this I have never once looked at the Harry Potter fandom proper and my only knowledge of it is My Immortal and the fact that TikTok thinks Harry's dad and Sirius' little brother should makeout. 1. Ron Weasley is autistic.

2. Neville Longbottom is half-Korean on his mother's side, and also probably wears goofy little frog overalls.

3. Ron is tall, Harry is Short

4. Harry's scar is smattered across his face like a lightning storm and not just one little bolt, that's pussy shit. Make that shit dramatic

5. Ron and Luna probably had a fling at one point. Autism for autism

6. No way this isn't fanon, but Luna Lovegood is autistic.

7. Ginny Weasley is the HOTTEST bitch in Hogwarts and she is AWARE.

8. In Goblet of Fire the entire little Ron and Harry arc happening there was that they had a summer fling and then broke up when Ron had his little pissboy arc and they were both babies about it and then went back to having their regularly scheduled bromance thank you goodnight

9. Harry is actually dating a new person each book, no matter how short-lived it is. Why? Comedy. It's FUNNY.

10. I think Harry and Ginny have a shotgun wedding at like, nineteen.

11. All I know is that in my brief dive into AO3 (re: I looked up this exact tag out of morbid curiosity of it was A Thing), Sirius/Snape were apparently one of the smallest ships with like only 2k fics which is wild to me, because that enemies to lovers??? Thought bitches would eat that shit up. I don't ship it, but it still was wild.

12. Sirius and Remus are in love. (post mortum: I have now dived just slightly in the fic of Harry Potter and realize this is widely accepted fanon.)

13. Hermione wears fun frilly dresses outside of school and actually really loves dressing up and being girly fuck this 'not like other girls' agenda going on with her. Put her in a pretty dress and let her frolic in a field with flowers.

14. Luna is a seer. She goes on to teach divination

15. I was gonna say something about in my little noggin Ginny raised her and Harry's kid as a single mom or whatever and it's a fic I'm gonna work on and also his name is Remus Weasley and he's a Slytherin but APPARENTLY that's just the entire plot of the Cursed Child as my HP special interest having bestie informed me. I just added in a Gryffindor pretty boy for my Slytherin Potter boy to make out with when JKR was too much of a coward to make him gay.

16. RON SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUFFLEPUFF.

17. Cedric Diggory lived a very long and happy life and had a lovely spouse - guy who got really attached to this dorky little dude, knowing full well how he died.

18. It takes Harry at LEAST two marriages to women to realize he's gay. The egg takes a very long time to crack.

19. Ron is straight. He's just. He's got such bi wife energy.

20. Ginny Weasley is a raging bisexual, and so are the twins, and so is Bill. And Charlie? I know in my soul that's a nonbinary.

21. Luna Lovegood? NOT a lesbian, sorry lesbians. I'm claiming her for the aromantics. That's right. She belongs to us.

22. Fleur Delacour was a lesbian. LESBIAN.

23. Harry and Dudley reconnect in their like, thirties/forties and actually become good friends I think.

24. Harry often does diy piercings in the bathrooms during fifth and sixth year, Luna helps.

25. Fred and Lee Jordan are boyfriends god bless.

26. Out of spite for JKR, here's a list of trans woman in Harry Potter according to ME: Ginny Weasley, McGonagall, Hermione, Luna, Lily Potter (her and James are t4t), Tonks (that bitch is nonbinary transfemme),

27. I will live, breathe, and die by my personal headcannon that Tonks and Remus are comphet and in a lavender marriage but they lovingly coparent their child together and regularly at parties Tonks goes "where's my husband? Oh, he's making out with his boyfriend okay cool." and moves on.

28. Draco Malfoy's patronus is that white ferret Moody Crouch turned him into in book four.

29. In my perfect world James Potter is alive and I love him most than anything, I'm holding him like a wet cat. i literally bought three stag plushes over the month I was reading this series just because I couldn't stop thinking about him.

30. I am ignoring the implications in the epilogue that Harry did not raise Teddy Lupin, because he did, actually. That was the last promise he made to his beloved Remus Lupin and if Deathly Hallows taught us anything it's that Harry Potter keeps a fucking promise <<3

31. Molly and Arthur heavily assisted Harry in his 'I'm gonna raise this god damn orphan to good y'all won't know what hit him. I'm gonna be such a good dad.'

32. I am literally IGNORING all these implications of the Cursed Child. Draco Malfoy is also a banger dad. i think he goes to counseling and sorts out his issues and tries very hard to not put such high expectations on his own kids. I think he tries very hard to undo the damage Lucius did to him, and the bad choices he made in trying to make his parents proud of him. I think he makes sure his kids know better than anything else, that all he wants for them is joy. He wants them to be good, happy people.

33. Just Lovers - Zerrazapriel says that Sirius' patronus is Moony and that's so fucking real and true of that fucking fic and I live by that now.

34. On a similar note, Molly and Arthur have matching patronus'

35. Fuck this 'hermione minister of magic' nonsense that girl is a leftist and would never join politics did jkr forget her own fucking canon of harry and hermione doing their absolute best to fuck the government over for the last half of the series? whatever the fuck. HERMIONE TEACHES CHARMS AT HOGWARTS.

36. I'm sorry I got so heated on that last one. I had thoughts. Anyways, Draco also goes on to become head of Slytherin and teaches DADA.

37. I was so anti-Draco for the entire first five books and then the last two books Happened and so now I'm just holding him so close to my chest. He needs therapy. And i think it takes him until their mid-twenties or so, but I think he does make amends with Harry and the crew and actively tries to come back from the actions of his youth, and obviously the Golden Trio and co are sympathetic because Harry himself in the books clearly could recognize Draco was acting on the instruction of his trusted adults, trusting they knew better than him.

38. this is not a headcanon but the wandlore of Draco having a unicorn hair in his wand and the unicorn hair wizards being the most difficult to turn evil and his wand ultimately being the one to defeat voldemort is sooooooo. He's such a product of grooming and I think about him. I want to study him.

39. YOU KNOW WHAT. what if I said harry trans woman who unpacks her gender after the war is over and has time to contemplate who she is as a person and her and Draco become a very cute and in love little couple in their early thirties??? what then???? (does this fic exist and if it does give me links)

40. I think the funniest mental image ever is if Harry just shows up to a party or whatever with everyone when they're like, 26 with Draco fucking Malfoy in his arm and is like "this is my boyfriend" with no further explanation or nothing and half of the group is like "no yeah this is an expected development" and the other half is like "THE BITCHBOY????" and yeah.

I will most definitely have more Harry Potter thoughts as time goes on but this is all I'll put into the world. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

[hellkitepriest]

ee @ exeter phoenix: not a review but a too-long tale

look, i really liked reading @blueberry-beanie’s write-up of her ee show so i thought i might throw myself at the task as well. here’s the probably-quite-boring-to-read tale of my trip to exeter with the inimitable @airbrushfather.

after getting there the night before (after i accidentally forgot to get off the coach and went to a random seaside town instead, which i then had to rectify by getting the train back up to exeter — never let it be said that i should be allowed outside) i woke up at 7am for no reason and decided to climb a hill in a park in the hopes it would tire me out again. it did not.

went back to the lovely little bnb we were at (when checking in the day before, i told the woman there i was there to see a band and she went “it’s not everything everything, is it” and It Struck Fear Into My Heart How Did She Know. she knew, of course, because danny had also mentioned them while checking in), got ready to go out. walking up the main road in exeter what did we see but the EE bus parked Right In The Middle Of The Road. the venue had a car park, lads. actually now i say that i’m not sure the bus could’ve gotten up the wiggly little hill to the car park.

anyway we were naturally frazzled by this so my next logical step was to go to the nearest bookshop and buy a rubik’s cube to soothe the soul. i am sure this action will not have any consequences whatsoever. went into build a bear so danny could buy a jumper for Jeremy The Frog. sat on a bench and fed a seagull bits of my cereal bar. these are the most normal actions we will undertake all day. i got the seagull to peck at the rubik’s cube.

i then drag danny to the park i was in earlier, which is lovely and separated from the venue by only a quaint stone wall. we are very near exeter castle, and i point out that this is a great place for a castle, actually, because the hill gives you a great vantage point for spotting your enemies. we sit in the park and i toss my rubik’s cube into the air and ponder whether or not rylan has a man bun. we do a very high pitched geordie accent for a bit. a man dressed for hunting and wielding a television aerial comes up the hill and we are briefly convinced he has a crossbow. a man who looks so much like jeremy comes up the hill and i am only convinced he isn’t jeremy because he has a tiny little dog with him.

i go to put some of my rubbish in a bin further up the hill. when i come back danny is looking at me like they have seen a ghost. they point, and surely enough, the real jeremy pritchard is having a casual little walk around the park we are sitting in. he is wearing sunglasses. as danny says and as i have not stopped thinking about: he walks like a girl sim. he looks happy to be in the park but we cannot work out what he is doing there. it is apparently impossible in my mind that a man can walk around a park with no goal but enjoying the beauty of nature. somehow i panic and start getting really into explaining to danny what a milkman is. i don’t know how they don’t know what a milkman is.

jeremy disappears. we feed more seagulls. i make a mashup of my number and tik tok by kesha. it is late afternoon by now, and i have learned that the cafe in the venue does cheese toasties, so we go there and learn they stopped serving toasties an hour ago. i eat some chips on the gay terrace. we can hear them soundchecking arch enemy. i say, apropos of nothing but the adrenaline in my veins, i feel like spiderman. i still am not sure what this means.

we find another hill to sit on, directly behind the venue this time, and we listen to them soundcheck. i roll down a hill in pure joy. what could be better and stranger than this? we stay here until it’s time to go in, and we both find four leaf clovers in the grass.

after waiting around in the venue briefly and danny spotting The Lads walking through a corridor we are in. we have claimed the spot i have planned for weeks: right in between jon and alex. a semi-accidental direct view of pete. it’s nice to see him, really. the openers, KLEN, look like they have all come dressed for different cults and something has gone terribly wrong. they are from cornwall. CORNWALLL!!!, danny and i yell. this is their name now. about halfway through pete comes out from backstage to watch them briefly. he has a man bun (like rylan doesn’t) and a naturally sad face. he is chewing gum.

he disappears. danny and i collapse on each other, laughing. at what? good question.

we watch pete set up his keyboards (i have read on facebook that he does it himself because he doesn’t want anyone else to fuck it up, and it’s not because nobody else will help him. this soothes me) and probably say some real Shit to each other. i cannot remember.

finally the bit you have all been waiting for:

everything everything take to the stage. they open with schoolin’ and my glasses fly off backwards into the crowd because i’m so into it. a kind woman rescues them for me. i sing very loud about the train and the wall and the druids.

you’ll all be pleased to know that jon was on Peak Smugboy Form — “we’ve put a load of Man Alive in the set, i hope that’s alright” yes of course it is shut up. he was having such a good time! what a man. jeremy was doing The Most, as we have come to expect from him. alex was being quietly strange and doing his guitar faces, as we have also come to expect from him. he only had one guitar, the burnt one (He Plays The Guitar That He Fixed That Got Burned In The Fire), and i was a little sad about the lack of modular synth or the Gibson ES 335 (the red one, you all know her). mike was drumming politely in the back and doing his drum concentration face. occasionally he would look over at pete, who was grooving very intensely on the keyboards in the fascinating way that he does.

they played tin!! you know how important this is. they played jennifer, too, but i was too distracted watching jon to be sad during it, for reasons. mid-gig, i set up a group chat with @shallowtboy and @karlschumann89.

i am sure you will all understand.

after the gig they are signing copies of their lyric book — danny buys one despite already owning one and we join the queue for signing. on the way to join the queue, we walk past them all. jon looks at me and points at me and goes 🤨🫵. i am sure this is equally strange for both of us. exeter is a long way from where we both live and i had bumped into him TWICE in the past month.

when we get to the front of the queue the security guard removes me from the queue on account of not having a book to sign, but danny drags me back over a few seconds later. jon looks at me again. “we keep running into each other,” he says, which is certainly one way to put it. “IT’S THEIR FAULT,” i blurt, pointing at danny, despite the fact i booked tickets for this before i knew they were going (and before jonathan higgs was able to fucking recognise me).

there is still a rubik’s cube in my trouser pocket.

possessed by some sort of spirit, i turn to alex and ask “can you still solve rubik’s cubes?”. he looks confused. as you would. “only i’ve sort of got one with me, and…”

i hand him the cube. everyone is very amused by this, particularly jeremy, who eggs him on throughout the whole process. “this might take a while…” “don’t worry, we’ve got time,” says jez, looking at his watch and laughing. the security guards would beg to differ. they are not pleased about this turn of events. “it’s well scrambled,” alex says at one point, and i think this is the highest compliment i have ever received. i am amazed by how quickly alex can still do this. he’s really going for it. the rest of the lads keep signing books but he’s lost in his cube reverie. eventually he solves it and hands it back, and we all laugh, and then danny and i have to get out of there QUICK before we can be told off for holding up the line any further.

i have video evidence, but i am not sure any of that actually happened.

[spoonicksmaximus]

Big the Cat Isn’t Real in Frontiers

In regards to Sonic Frontiers, something has been eating away at me since I completed the game, and I couldn’t find anyone else talking about it, so here I go! I understand that there have been comics released surrounding Sonic Frontiers, but I have yet to look into them, my analysis here is from the game itself, the animated prologue, and technically the Twitter Takeover, though they don’t mention Big at all from there. Sonic Frontiers Spoilers. 

I legitimately believe that the Big the Cat that appears in Frontiers is not real. When Sonic first meets Big, he’s already in cyber space. Upon this encounter, I thought his random appearance was a reference to Adventure 2, in which he’d randomly appear in strange areas. Still, Knuckles, Amy, Tails and Eggman are all trapped in cyber space throughout the game, so surely Big must also be trapped as well, correct?

Sonic: “Big!? What are you doing here? HOW did you get here? What even IS here?” Big: “I dunno. I was looking for fishing spots and wound up here.”

Seems like a simple enough explanation at first. In character, at least. On top of that, much like everyone else (excluding Eggman), he has his own “memory tokens,” which in this case translated to Purple Coins, solidifying he was definitely, probably, trapped in cyber space. 

Yet, by the end of the game, I couldn’t help but notice that Big was not with the cast of characters leaving the island. 

In fact, we never saw him get sucked into cyber space in the first place. There’s proof that everyone else was seen in the PROCESS of being trapped, except for Big. Eggman went into a forest, did a thing and it immediately backfired before the game had a chance to begin, Tails, Amy and Sonic were all on the Tornado when they got trapped, and Knuckles got his own animated prologue justifying his reason for being here.

Big, on the other hand, did not. All we get is a line of dialogue claiming he did.

It also became known to us that cyber space is a collection of data pulled from the users’ memories. 

Sonic: “Yo, so did Cyber Space actually interact with my brain?” Sage: “It was designed to catalogue neural networks, among other things, so yes.” Sonic: “Alright, hear me out: do you think all those locations I visited were pulled from my memories?” Sage: “That is plausible. It imported the data of your memories and applied it to your surroundings so you could comprehend them.” Granted, Sage is technically speaking hypothetically herself, but knowing how Sonic lore works, we have to take this as canon information. Taking this at face value, we have to assume the cyber space we visit as Sonic is pulled from his brain.

Which is why it’s strange that at the end of the game, or DURING the game, Big is never technically mentioned outside of his fishing spaces. It would also explain why things like ring boxes

or springs

appear in the virtual lake at all. These are from Sonic’s memories!  

You could also argue that being the reason why some of the things you catch look... well... 

... strange, to say the least. (Sega’s turning the frogs gay, huh?) 

If this is still all in Sonic’s perception, it’d also make sense as to why the blue-ringed octopus or the anglerfish look radically bigger than their real-world counterparts.

Could it just be that Sega didn’t do their aquatic homework? Like they didn’t do their basic research on hedgehogs or on geology/astronomy? I refuse to believe that completely preposterous outlook. Sonic saw a picture of an anglerfish and an octopus, and just like ME at AGE 5, assumed they must be the roughly the size of a bear. (Side note, I’m aware that some anglerfish can grow up to 3 feet, and Sonic’s 3 feet, but this is still an absurd size comparison). 

That said, there are still things like the Hermit scrolls that occasionally show up, and Big literally sells you Eggman’s diary memos. One could argue, those things literally couldn’t be in Sonic’s memories. However, cyber space is a communal space. Apparently you can find out information from just about anyone in there. 

Tails: “While you were online it opened up a flood of data. It was way too much to process, but I did get a glimpse of the Ancients’ personal data.”

Based on this evidence, we can turn to Big, and question his role in Frontiers. He’s a merchant, he’s kind of a punchline, and he provides a break from typical gameplay (also a way to skip obnoxious memory token grinding sessions). 

There’s... no reason for him to NOT leave cyber space. His presence in each fishing spot doesn’t suggest he is benefitting from his stay, nor is it assumed that he enjoys his time there. So why doesn’t he leave with them? Big simply tells Sonic that he was looking for fishing spots and ended up in cyber space. However, cyber space recreates itself for Sonic so that he could comprehend it. The Big we spend time with is very likely to be Sonic’s idea of Big, his memory of Big, or cyber space’s excuse to grant Sonic data. It could even be The End/spooky sky voice’s way of forcing Sonic to progress, disguising itself as Big, however my only evidence for that claim is during Sonic’s corruption, Big is not seen anywhere trying to assist Sonic. Even Eggman was there, not helping, but present.

Other than that, that theory is a stretch, even by my standards.

In any case, it was odd to me that Big was totally ignored throughout the game. He’s by no means the most popular character, but if we are to assume it IS the real Big, why would they leave him in cyber space? Why wouldn’t Sonic attempt to free him as well, or at the very least talk about him with other characters? 

It may seem like Big is just a wacky character, who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time as usual. But if that was all there is to it, why is this such a... Big... Mystery? Thank you for reading out my entire existential crisis. Please have a wonderful rest of your day. Play Frontiers, it’s fun.

[burntlikethesun]

I was that kid who knew harry potter off by heart and spent my time not reading them casting flipendo on gnomes and collecting bertie botts beans and chocolate frog cards on the family PC... I'm who this Hogwarts Legacy game was designed for, and the part of my brain that would have once been all over it, is dead. no positive emotions, no desire to go near it, in fact everything to do with that game and franchise now makes me feel miserable.

so I don't understand people, not the right wingers or the TERFs, the normal people, who claim to be progressive, who are like 'uh i'm gonna buy it but feel bad about it/donate to a cause', when that money is going towards someone who is throwing bundles of £50k at anti-trans lawsuits against charities every month, and setting up people to be dogpiled, and promoting women who agree with her on one issue while also being anti abortion/homophobic/Nazi adjacent white supremacists, who call gay men groomers.

People who have followed me for the 11 years I've been on here will know I spent my teenage and young adult years defending her honour against unfair criticism but the minute she unmasked herself my love I've had for this series since I was 5 evaporated. Why hasn't it become tainted for you? I see the word Hufflepuff or Expelliarmus and my mind just associates it with harm now, it's pavlovian.