#The Founder's Curse whole book

[mylifesjustacarousel]

the sorcerer and the apprentice

pairing: james hook x gn!reader (requested)

summary: you, the child of merlin, and james hook make quite an odd pair (with obvious feelings for each other). but what happens when you two make magic together?

type: fluff, some teasing here and there

CW: none

WC: 1k

the prequel | part 1 | part 3

There were perks to being the child of Merlin, the principal and founder of Merlin Academy. You were well advanced in your wizardry skills, which was a blessing… and a curse. All of the other students were constantly lined up to try to get something from you; love potions, flying spells, blah blah blah… You name it, someone has asked you for it. But, there was one student that you always made an exception for, even if you couldn’t really explain why.

James Hook, one of the VKs in Uliana’s crew, was one of your nearest and dearest friends. You were quite the odd pair, seeing that you came from very different backgrounds. He admired your carefree personality, despite being the child of the person on campus who cared the absolute most… about everything. Well, it was more than admiration. Hook was absolutely head over heels for you. The way that you carried yourself with the utmost confidence, your intelligence and your care when it comes to your craft… he was hooked.

“Hand me the bottle over there, James,” you reached your hand out, waiting for him to put the bottle in your hand. When a few seconds went by and your hand was still empty, you looked over.

Hook had his eyes on you, a soft and warm smile on his face. It was a pretty rare sight, he usually tried to keep up his hard and cold demeanor, but he couldn’t help but let his walls down around you. You were safe, you were comforting. A home he never really had.

“James!” you shouted, nudging his side with your elbow.

He snapped out of his trance, almost jumping out of his seat. “Easy there!” he reached over, picking up the bottle, “Tears of sadness? You cry so much when you miss me that you keep a whole bottle of your tears?” Rolling your eyes, you snatched the bottle, “Ha. Ha. Ha. So very funny, James.”

His eyes softened as he watched you, your eyes carefully reading your spell book to make sure you got the exact measurements of the potion right. “Does it ever get… annoying, y/n?” you looked over at him, confused, “Does what ever get annoying? You?”

“Not what I meant.” He huffed, gently nudging your arm. “No, I meant everyone knowing who you are? Asking for potions and spells all the time?” you thought about it and ultimately just shrugged. “Sometimes. But, I also like knowing that I can make a change in other people’s lives.”

He watched silently as you poured a drop of the tears into the potion, carefully stirring it with the griffin claw. “Hey, when can I make a potion?” he asked after a minute, looking over at your spell book. While he loved spending time with you, there was nothing more boring, besides actually going to school, than sitting there and handing you bottles. You giggled, bottling up the love potion you had made, “Alright, Captain, let’s see what you can do.”

Grabbing your spell book, he stepped in front of the cauldron. He looked through spells and potions before finding one he liked. You sat down in the chair he once occupied, quietly watching him. The way his brow furrowed in concentration, the way his lips moved silently as he repeated the ingredients to himself. You couldn’t even help but get lost in his dark brown eyes.

When you two first met, you were enemies. After all, you were the child of the founder of your school, so he expected you to be nothing but a goody two shoes. He would taunt and tease you, along with the rest of Uliana’s crew. But, after you played a pretty harsh (and funny) prank on Uliana, he realized that you weren’t what you seemed on the surface. Once he learned who you were truly, you clicked and had become close.

Not as close as either of them would like, or would care to admit, though.

It was sickeningly obvious that they had feelings for each other, but they both had too much pride and just didn’t know how to talk about their feelings. They would never confess their feelings for one another. So they stuck with innocent flirting and teasing here and there.

“Do I have something on my face?” Hook teased, his lip curling up in a smirk. You quickly looked away from him, your face heating up as it turned bright red. “Nope, just making sure that you don’t mess anything up. You can’t afford to lose that pretty hair in potion mishap,” you mumbled, trying to find anything else in the room to look at.

Swallow me whole, ground, you thought to yourself.

“Well, I finished the potion, and my “pretty hair” is still there, darling,” He laughed, scooping a small amount of the potion into the bottle, “Come on, I wanna show you it.” He went over to your bookshelf, grabbing a vase of flowers that you had forgotten about, now dead and wilted, and brought them over to the table.

You raised a brow, your curiosity piquing, “What’re you up to, Hook?” he quickly put a finger up to your lips, shushing you, “Shh, trust me.”

He pulled his hand away, picking up the bottle of the potion that he just made. He poured a few drops over the vase of dead flowers, you quietly watching over his shoulder. Within a few seconds, the flowers had transformed. The once wilted and unrecognizable flowers had turned into a beautiful bouquet of roses. He picked them up, handing them to you.

“They’re for you, darling. Look, they’re the same color as your face.”

You tried to hide your grin as you looked at the flowers in your hands, but you couldn’t help it. “That was… very sweet, James. I’m impressed.” you put the flowers back in their vase, this time putting them on your bedside table right where you could see them. “If you let me take you to Castlecoming next week, there will be more where that came from.”

Your eyes widened and you whipped around, turning to face him, “Are you asking me out on a date?” he walked towards you, shrugging, “That depends on what your answer is.” you giggled, pretending to think about it before giving him your answer.

“Yes, I’ll go to Castlecoming with you, James.”

a/n: i had a lot of fun writing that! i’m hoping that they will get a lot longer as time goes on, but i’m super happy with how this turned out! and thank you to cafekitsune for the text divider, it is gorgeous

[joannerowling]

do you think they'll ever go for another HP spinoff? Both Cursed Child and Fantastic Beasts received poor or mixed reviews at best and were not that popular (I don't think anyone has ever referenced them IRL in my experience) so I doubt they'll be trying another spinoff anytime soon. Perhaps after the HP show is over in a decade? I really hope not lol, I found both CC and FB incredibly uninteresting and basic (Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp really turned me off too lol) and I figure any other spin off would be just as disappointing.

I also think the terminally online fans going "No one wants this! we want a spinoff about the founders or marauders!" are so incredibly out of touch. the HP show everyone will watch, however no one would care about either of those except super duper HP fans. If I said "marauders" IRL I highly doubt anyone would even know what I'm referencing. Also why on earth would they take a gamble on a new show after CC and FB flopped? and these terminally online JKR haters complaining about the show and screaming for a Jegulus spinoff instead also hated and complained about CC and FB for the most part? it's such a bizarre reaction that is based exclusively in 'I hate jkr and want to complain' instead of any actual desires on their part IMO

Will there ever be another HP spinoff?

Short answer: probably not.

Long answer: they can only greenlight a project with JKR's approval, so it really all depends on her. She's clearly not interested in writing more original Potter books right now, but she's ok letting others play with the IP in various media and/or commercial forms (except novels; duh, she's not stupid), so long as her specific wishes on some topics are met. So far, pretty successfully:

Theatre : Cursed Child, while hated by a vocal minority of (essentially book) fans, is a commercial and critical hit, winning several awards and touring in multiple countries while playing non-stop on the West End.

Video Games : Obviously a quite successful format, from the popular smartphone mini-games to Hogwarts Legacy. Nobody cared that much about HL's story, its success came down to the fun of actually getting to explore Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, etc.

Park theme(s) : Very successful and not to be underestimated creativity-wise, between decors, costumes, ancilliary products, etc. Again, the appeal is immersion and exploration rather than rides.

Supplementary non-fiction material : The "Hogwarts Library" supplementary books deepening the universe's lore have always been hits, hence WB using them as a base to develop FB.

Fantastic Beasts movie series (and the whole "wizarding world" brand) : The big disappointment. It didn't start so bad, the first was a success and well received. The second was too complicated and lost the GP, but still made money; and the third was better received but not well enough to save it. Still, even Secrets was more of a flop than a bomb (it made back its Covid-inflated budget twice after all, not enough to make a profit but better than nothing).

At some point, if i'm a WB exec and i'm a little smart, i start to notice patterns:

Normie fans and GA don't want new "wizarding world" stories: they want an immersive experience. Movies are a bad format for that. You just can't cram too much stuff in a movie without shit becoming real expensive real fast.

Book fans hate everything new in general, even with Jo's involvement it's getting touchy after FB and CC. (I'm sure an original novel would work but even that's risky and she's not interested anyways.)

On the other hand, book fans also famously disliked the movies, so a new, more faithful adaptation might interest them. Normie fans and GA too: they already know the story, so it's accessible, and parents would love sharing it with their kids.

Sales show that people in general are definitely still massively attached to Harry Potter, so it's worth investing.

TV adaptations of books following disappointing movies have been pretty successful recently: BBC/HBO's HDM, Netflix's Series of Unfortunate Events, etc.

TV's not a bad format for immersive story-telling. Not the best, but you have more screen time and it's usually cheaper to produce than films and more character driven, meaning more opportunities to add details and play with them. Enough "new" elements to stand apart from the movies and excite fans, but no risk of messing with canon.

For WB, a remake is a great middle ground to work with JKR in spite of her controversies: she's involved, but not too involved, because the story isn't a new one. It's not like she's writing an original script for them, she's just consulting to make sure they're not messing up. And for Jo? Also greatly convenient! She gets to make money with minimal work. She's a very busy woman you see, and she's got expenses (those rape crisis centers aren't paying for themselves).

Conclusion : Spin-offs = bad, expensive ideas almost bound to fail, unless they were adaptations of a new, critically acclaimed original novel by JKR, which will not happen any time soon. Remake = safer, actually something people want to see (or could be persuaded to watch if initially unconvinced, for the hardcore movie fans). Movies are (kinda) out, shows are (still) in. Carpe Diem, etc.

Will there specifically ever be a Marauders spinoff?

With the disclaimer that i'm not JKR so i can't actually know that but: no. Never. Not even a remote possibility, won't ever happen in a thousand years.

[sailorspica]

sole salvation: zeke jaeger, messiah claimant

this is so long it has a table of contents, and prompted by an ask from @oxygenbefore1775:

salvation and atonement

recapitulation

genealogy

the paths as wilderness

biblical fiction

all the english bible citations are from the NRSVCE, i reference the gospel of john just once because it sucks, this is barely proofread and about ~4k. two shorter posts that might be of interest:

the founder ymir eve-mary replacement theology run

krista/christa

none of this is arguing iseyama consciously made any allusions!! this is just comparative reading

1. salvation and atonement

i looked up the japanese title for snk 114, "唯一の救い," mostly for the second part. "唯一" is kind of obviously "sole" or "only" (if i know any CJK characters it's number radicals), but i wondered about the nuances of "salvation" because of the association i have for it below. this had me running to good ol' biblegateway.com, whose only japanese bible translation is the from the heavily paraphrased/colloquial Living Bible. a search of "救い" lands us in exodus, isaiah, and my second-favorite gospel, luke.

you guessed it: it's part of the word choice for "messiah." section titles in bible translations are editorialization, really, but the beginning of the nativity story in matthew is headed

約束 さ れて いた 救い主 promise (...tense stuff idk) savior

救 = rescue, aid, salvation; 主 = host, leader, lord

in the hebrew bible context of exodus, 救い most often refers to god delivering the israelites from egypt through moses, while isaiah is christians' favorite prophet for all his shit cited as prophesying the messiah. the title "christus" is latinized from the earliest greek translation of the bible from hebrew, which used "christos" for "messiah." kings good and bad were anointed with oil (chrism) at the start of their reign, so "anointed one," "messiah," and "Christ" really just meant a monarch. quoting some old testament pseudepigrapha (psalms of solomon 17:23-24), the messiah was understood in second temple judaism as a future davidic king expected to "thrust out sinners from the inheritance / to crush all their substance with a rod of iron / to destroy the lawless nations with the word of his mouth." (rod reiss, zeke as marley's spear, the scream, etc)

now for the "sole" bit. i am cursed to read the kodansha USA title "sole salvation" with the connotation of the solae of the protestant reformation, which are 2-5 doctrines articulated by various reformers but not necessarily codified (or creed-ified, as it were), uh, in protest of early modern catholicism. theological authority comes sola scriptura (not the pope), justification comes sola fide (not by following rules the best), and salvation is available to all sola gratia (through god's grace, not individual merit/how many indulgences you can afford).

how we apply all this to zeke:

what is wild about christianity and islam after it is "humanity"'s fall from grace and the promise of a messiah to remedy it were initially about just one people. AoT's dramatic irony has the paradisians refer to themselves as the whole of humanity until grisha's basement, so jaegerist ethnonationalism is, really, in keeping with the prehistoric tribalism detailed in the history books of the hebrew bible. when the israelites encounter egyptians and semitic peoples of canaan and babylon, they know them as pagans, and proselytization is not on their minds at all, nor these other peoples' relation or lack thereof to adam and original sin. with zeke, we see this idea of salvation and its scale and recipients flipped between grisha and ksaver: grisha promises the restorationists that zeke will save eldia, while ksaver and zeke swear to save the world from titans with eldia as the sacrifice.

the lack of consensus of how to "save" eldia mirrors the hairsplitting of soteriology into what modern commenters call theories of atonement. there are many, but the only ones i'll mention are

substitutionary theory: the vague but broadly understood starting point that jesus died for humanity, and most subsequent theories hammer out the details. with this you'll often see writing connecting it to the story of abraham and isaac, and a classic work is derrida's the gift of death chapter 3, but i have to say if this story echoes for anyone in AoT, it is tom ksaver and not just because of the ram.

ransom theory: humanity has been satan's hostage ever since the garden of eden, so jesus was born and raised, incarnated as human by god, to be the perfect sacrifice to buy back our freedom. this is weird because it calls into question god's omnipotence: why respect satan as a debt collector?

satisfaction theory: jesus' sacrifice is more about ethics and respect in that his death is the "minimum" price for our sins, but he goes above and beyond by walking willingly through the exact cavalcade of physical torture that was the passion, which "satisfied" god, working from a classical/medieval fixation on honor and dishonor.

penal (not penile) substitution theory: god cannot forgive sin willy nilly, so jesus bore god's punishment for us. this is lutheran, and if you read martin luther's diaries from when he was an augustinian, this man just wanted a morally perfect Dom. libs and catholics don't like this because it makes god look bad. s/o my kenny post where i put grandpas ackerman and jaeger side by side with a bit of penal substitution, but it also makes me think of grisha (below)

and my favorite, recapitulation theory, which is simply the most literary way to read the gospels: christ's life, not just death, are a do-over of adam's. he succeeds where adam failed, perfectly inverting everything about the first man: he was born of a woman (the cause of adam's fall 🙄) but chaste himself (allegedly), he's tempted directly by the devil and resists, and in death the piercing of his side by a roman centurion echoes that eve was made from adam's rib. it's the root of the idea of jesus and mary as the "new" adam and eve that i dip into in the krista post—antisemitic supercessionism is a later addition. mary "recapitulates" eve by obeying god, not satan, etc.

i didn't do that comprehensive a skim, but grisha and zeke seem to be the only ones who use "salvation" language, while karina braun uses "atone" in snk 94. "atonement" has one of the silliest etymologies of all time: at + onement, unification, when two become one. so framing the crucifixion as "atonement," and referring to mysticism as self-effacement, jesus' death is supposed to reconcile man with god, like we were divorced. its more pedestrian, legal definition is for reparations and such, but i don't think the soteriological version can describe marley and eldia at all. it's not just penal, but penitential (sacramental) semantics on kodansha USA's part. i might go pester @tsuki-no-ura for a direct translation later. but the jesus-est and adam-est thing about zeke, to me, is physical at-onement when ymir fuses his body into the founder, or as zeke says to armin in snk 137, "did ymir eat you, too?" so the death of jesus' earthly body is a horror story if you aren't trinitarian: he is subsumed into god, made indistinct.

2. recapitulation

recapitulation is a useful idea for FOUR AoT characters: zeke, historia, eren, and mikasa. i really think the figures that do the most to "recapitulate" the eldian creation myth are mikasa and historia, though:

historia: have already said my bit! she's the anti-mary, snk 65 has the juiciest theological language of all. see my second favorite gospel luke. she disobeys where ymir's daughters didn't: she says hell no, she kills her dad. she's my hero.

mikasa: eren and armin's conversation about mikasa and ymir more casts ymir as a god with mysterious motivations, so i'd say "whatever mikasa did" gives us a more medieval "satisfaction" model of pacifying her rage

eren: the whole metaphor on humanity penned in like livestock, ymir's leaving the gate open for the pigs. eren's defence of historia, even from her own self-sacrifice in volunteering to inherit the beast, also makes him an anti-daughter of ymir.

zeke: has all of the prologue and expectation to make him seem like a savior. if he recapitulates any part of "from you, 20,000 years ago," he starts out as fritz by attempting to order ymir with his royal blood, but ends up just as bound as her. there's a screencap we've all seen overlaying the storybook illustration of "ymir" and "the devil of all earth" with eren, zeke, and ymir in the paths. i have feminist tbh satanist thoughts on the nature of knowledge and forbidden fruit that i slghtly get into in that krista/christa post

this is the point where it's important for me to say this is an atheist post and blog, and jesus of nazareth was one of like half a dozen messiah claimants knocking around judaea at the time, including his own cousin john the baptist. the first coming of the messiah was a nearly as absurd a prospect to jews in the late roman empire as the second coming of jesus is to us, so "claimant" doesn't even mean they said so themselves. some were preachers whose followers got a little too hype, or just actual con artists. but! zeke does have a lot more christian echoes going for him beyond the exact function of his death.

in the original question mae asked about zeke in either marian or christian terms, so i gotta say that jesus was also human and subordinated to god's will, in a similar position to mary, as was adam. adam's rib symbolism is so erotic and penetrative and all i think about when titans in AoT are constructed spinal cord first. to me everything about titan shifters is a feminist issue of bodily autonomy regardless of gender, and the power of the founder to "rewrite" eldian biology is the most god-like, terrifying, violating thing about it. this is where a lot of more progressive christian theologians struggle, too, with the question of how is god, in all his power and goodness, still permissive of suffering? or is it that god is not in fact powerful, simply all-knowing? and is that worth jack shit? which is the issue of the royal family keeping the founder after the walls went up.

and we leave this section with the jesussy, or more specifically "the holy lance" that made jesus' side wound. but i think levi went for, idk, his appendix? good enough.

3. geneaology

the gospels of luke and matthew start with lengthy and conflicting geneaologies in support of the claim that jesus of nazareth is of the davidic line through the tribe of judah, but matthew's is patrilineal from abraham through joseph, while luke's is surgically imprecise about jesus' father and thus is often argued to be jesus's geneaology through mary backwards to adam, supported by luke being the gospel to feature women the most prominently. not knowing those intricacies or how legal adoption worked in 1st century judaea, you can say that mary is royalty and joseph is just some guy, ben david or not, because he famously did not contribute sperm. looking at zeke, grisha is just some guy, and dina's blood is the whole justification for zeke's suffering. had she not married grisha, she still would be affiliated with the restorationists, and whatever other child she had would be sacrificed much the same. this supposes that jesus of nazareth was just some guy himself, a typical second temple jewish teacher whose followers were especially rowdy; whether god is real or incarnated himself as human is inconsequential when mary is directly descended from david.

but joseph Does matter from a purely pragmatic point of view of protecting and providing for mary and jesus, from keeping his troth with a pregnant teenager he'd probably never met before to the matthew account of fleeing with them to egypt to hide from herod, and in christian ethics through shit like the Feast of the Holy Family, which replaced the much cooler Feast of the Circumcision.

point is, jesus had two dads! joseph is generally understood as a dead during the time of jesus' three-year ministry, but any time jesus refers to his father he does not mean joseph. like ever. zeke nation knows better than i how often zeke discusses grisha, but in my recollection he calls him his full name or says "your father" if talking to eren. in my subtitles for the above panel re: the second paradis mission he says something like "as the former son of the terrorist grisha jaeger."

but to be clear joseph of nazareth is comparatively a non-person. it's reasonable to think he taught jesus his trade of carpentry, though, and two of the greatest songs of all time play with that, along with that tumblrina poem that goes around here frequently.

beyond daddy issues, protestants like this binary of "high" versus "low" christology to discuss jesus as god and jesus as man, though the exact meaning of either varies and frankly i question the historical accuracy of using either to describe ancient/antique christological debates. the way the liberal protestants at the seminary i dropped out of tended to use it is basically sorting jesus's qualities and behaviors in the gospels as divine or human. divine activities = miracles, prophecy, rising from the dead; human activities = flipping tables, being rude to his mom, getting hangry. now these mostly look like venial sins, to err is human et cetera, but the fig tree story is one of the silliest little humanizing details about him, to me tantamount to zeke having a cat's tongue. zeke's whole problem is he holds himself to an extrahuman (not divine, no, since he probably would go with demonic) standard while forgetting what makes him human. ironically, zeke rejects his inhumane father to claim his very human mentor as family, but ultimately half-lives his own life holding himself to or counter their visions of salvation.

the other bit of jesus' family worth connecting to zeke is his cousin john the baptist. but he more belongs to the next section.

4. the paths as wilderness

the torah or pentateuch, the first five books of the hebrew bible, have 99 uses of "wilderness" in the NRSV, and it pops up about 150 more times throughout the prophetic books. of all AoT's hamhanded judaic imagery, i think the paths actually get at something theological as opposed to earthly/fixated on eldia as a persecuted people. the wilderness is a testing ground and a kind of punishment itself, especially in genesis and exodus, for prehistoric figures like hagar, moses, jacob, david, and of course the israelites once they left egypt, wandering for 40 years. they starve and god saves them with manna; left unattended for two seconds they turn to idolatry; and they of course conquer various tribal people of canaan, including the philistines (root of palestine). after that, "wilderness" is much more metaphorical, referring poetically to estrangement between god and his people, the israelites exiled in the babylonian captivity, the destructon of solomon's temple, etc.

but there's one literal wilderness in the gospels. jesus' cousin john the baptist is introduced by a quotation:

In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness of Judea, proclaiming, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near." This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said, "The voice of one crying out in the wilderness: 'Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.'" (Mt 3:1-3)

john the baptist is jesus' maternal cousin who he likely only meets once in adulthood, and i am too pedantic not to explain that baptism, or ritual bathing, is not a christian invention. he hung out around the river jordan wearing a hair shirt and preaching and dunking people in a kind of open-air mikveh. jesus visits him to get dunked as he starts his three-year ministry that ends with his death, but before they meet there are already whispers that john the baptist is the messiah. herod antipas, a roman tetrarch, had john beheaded shortly after this at the request of his stepdaughter, so when herod hears stories of jesus' ministry and miracles he dreads that he's john the baptist returned to life.

one could say the fateful meeting of john and jesus is the turning point for the birth of christianity, like the jaeger brothers in shiganshina, in part because the gospels have john insist up and down he himself is not the messiah, he's just preparing the way for him. this kind of makes him look like a bigger loser than he was; contemporary jewish historians of the time say he had a following to rival or even larger than his cousin's.

but right after his baptism, jesus fasts in the wilderness for 40 days, where the devil tempts him. it's the most detailed in luke 4 and matthew 4. jesus resists like a champ, but returning to "low" christology and questioning what actually makes "perfection:" after three years of preaching in galilee, jesus' resolve wavers, and the "willingness" of his sacrifice is 2,000-year-old point of debate. two moments in the gospels that show he fears his death are praying between the last supper but before his arrest, and just as he dies on the cross. gethsemane, or the mount of olives:

And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want." (Mt 26:39)

And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. He said, "Abba, Father, for you all things are possible; remove this cup from me; yet, not what I want, but what you want." (Mk 14:35-36)

Then he withdrew from [the disciples] about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; yet, not my will but yours be done." (Lk 22:41-42)

and as he dies in matthew and mark, he quotes psalm 22, "eli, eli, lema sebachthani?" or "my god, my god, why have you forsaken me?" he shows resolve and despair, i think so very like zeke. his line in snk 114 of "are you watching, mr. ksaver?" makes me think jesus' relationship to god was similarly distant, and three years of ministry have to have changed jesus as much as oh, 13 years of being a human weapon changed zeke. ymir "tests" both jaeger brothers in the paths, so i bet there's some heresy out there that jesus "stole" john the baptist's role and followers from him.

one thing i'm fascinated by that i haven't seen laid out is that grisha and the restorationists deify ymir, even calling themselves "the chosen children of god" (woof), while ksaver the scientist asks the more materialist question of "what was that 'something'" that ymir encountered if not "the devil of all earth"? but zeke has to split the difference between these two. or, the power of the founder and the paths are simply too "god-like" (kenny's words uwu) for anyone to remain rational.

when zeke first describes the paths after he blows himself up, the first thing i thought of was biblical wilderness. in snk 137, he tells armin he's spent "an astounding amount of time" in the paths trying to understand ymir; i'm cursed to fill in that blank with 40-something, years or centuries or millennia. zeke using the sand all around them as an example of lifeless objects that don't seek to multiply reminds me of two things in genesis:

god's covenant with abraham in genesis 15, reiterated in 22 after a ram(!!!) shows up to take isaac's place: "Because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will indeed bless you, and I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore" (Gn 22:16-17). of course ymir building titans from sand recalls genesis 2, that god molded adam from dust, but before god formalizes this covenant with abram/abraham, he also says "I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth; so that if one can count the dust of the earth, your offspring also can be counted" (Gn 13:16)

the memento mori verse that makes up the blessing for ash wednesday is "remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return" (Gn 3:19) as he casts adam and eve from eden.

as a metaphor, i suppose wilderness in the bible evokes a time before creation, the void of possibility, and whether you find that beautiful or bleak, whether dust to dust makes you hope or dread, makes you closer to armin or zeke. my other atheist bestie from seminary was optimistic about the death of the human race because non-human life goes on, and that's okay and probably better; the earth can bounce back from the damage we dealt it, which is what trees growing in the colossals' footprints in the epilogue makes me think of. this makes me sound pro-apocalypse and well! i think this all solidifies that armin is the perfect counterweight, not just for the leaf and baseball; armin has always been curious about the planet, is a true scout, while zeke has been beyond the walls all his life, and has seen too much to be grateful. it's very mercury versus jupiter, details versus big picture.

5. biblical fiction

if you want to read the gospels as a total newb, start with mark because it's shortest, then i recommend matthew, then you can do luke and the acts of the apostles. but for juicy fiction that really digs into jesus as a human who struggles with the weight of expectation, you gotta get into:

the last temptation of christ (1988, dir. martin scorsese): i haven't read the book and only could stand the movie twice, yes even feat. david bowie as pontius pilate, but this was my first reaction to the the endng of AoT and the eremika cabin: jesus on the cross is tempted one last time by satan with a vision of running away and living as an ordinary man with mary magdalene. unfortunately zeke does not get a cabin vision but torment, and frankly his time in the paths is more like the three days jesus spent in hell before easter.

the liars' gospel by naomi alderman: is so crazy good, i love this writer deeply. it's more like four novellas stuck together of jesus' life and ministry and death narrated by his mother, judas iscariot, one of the sanhedrin that "tried" him prior to pilate, and barrabas, the criminal or revolutionary that pilate released to mark passover—all jewish, historical judean perspectives. to mary, jesus is kind of a deadbeat, awful eldest son (two of the gospels give him siblings; she did not die a virgin) who really should be working as a carpenter; to judas, he's an unworthy leader; etc. i think it's an excellent model for a novel-length, canon-compatible zeke fanfic.

if any sources are vague it's almost certainly out of the jewish annotated new testament (ed. levine/zvi brettler, 2017)

also tagging @pisspope 💜

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Elijah Kamski x fem!reader - I want your soul

warning : minors don't interact/read, smut, p in v , mirror sex, some oral (f receiving), bondage, fluff/comfort, obsession

Summary : Elijah Kamski the genius behind the androids and their accessories. He was the genius of the most important man. Who was looking for someone to work with him on something. But did a genius like him really need help or was it something else he wanted, sought and needed to create something that would give him something in the end.

Info : Okay I've finally finished writing it I'm not completely satisfied for one thing because I've had this floating around for months and haven't finished it, I'm going to write an extra one with a few more themes that I hadn't done here. I hope the smut is good and the story is not too ripped out as always it should be as realistic as possible. Have fun reading :)

Ps : @thatsthewrongwallcraig I finally did it I hope you are still in your Elijah obsession have fun reading :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Detroid had changed since she was born in 2013, it seemed the whole world had changed. Everything had become more modern, more technological and more efficient.

The whole world wasn't just getting closer to the old movies about the future, it had already overtaken them.

It opened up new paths, more possibilities and development was at a level that made them all but immortal. Until the androids came.

Developed by one man, a genius with an IQ of 171, Elijah Kamski. The young genius who developed the androids became a kind of god to some and the devil to others.

The devil for the people whose jobs he had taken away with the androids. He had everything, at least if you could believe the press and the news.

With the invention of thirium and biocomponent technology, he was also the founder of Cyber Life and the richest man on the planet.

He was the incarnate one. The incarnate one who one day launched a public appeal. Not something for a new project since his retirement in 2028 or an assistant or perhaps a successor.

It was rumors that went around the world but especially in Detroid made waves. Until the announcement came from Elijah himself and it was weirder than they had imagined.

Elijah wasn't looking for a successor, he was looking for a maid to inspire his new projects. It was a headline that the magazines ran with and something that caused a boom, suddenly the whole world seemed to be standing in front of the entrance to Cyber-Life's main building.

No one knew what was waiting for them inside, but they all hoped to work for Kamski. It seemed that only one thing mattered to them all. To see Elija Kamski and his money. Because they all knew he would pay well, or so they said.

The kilometer-long queue that stretched out in front had all kinds of people. Everyone who wanted the job would fight for a place. All except for one person, a young woman who was standing in the queue like everyone else.

She wouldn't necessarily walk over dead bodies and would rather take good advice from him that she needed for her studies or a tip for finances because she didn't have any.

To be honest, she was only here to take advantage of this small, minimal opportunity to get the money to pay for her studies and to pay back her parents who had taken on extra debt. A fact that weighed heavily on her heart.

Which is why she could use the money and paying a publisher to turn her script into a book wasn't cheap either and realizing a dream like that would be nice too. But as much as she wanted to, she had to survive the queue first.

I certainly wouldn't be the first to die because of all this standing, she thought, remembering all the people she had seen with tents and chairs. How they came out of the building with their heads hanging or cursing. They had missed their chance.

But she also felt how her feet had been hurting for hours, she had run out of the university as early as she could and yet she was one of the last. But after hours in which the sun would set again in a few hours anyway, it was finally her turn.

Saw how the entrance gradually came closer and closer. She finally had the chance to get to it. Will he notice? the question popped into her head and she became all the more aware of the notebook in her bag.

She didn't know how she should feel about it. Meeting the man who had fascinated her for as long as she could remember.

Meeting the man who was the lover in her book, everything was exactly the same except for the name. Initially in her late teens it was just a model she had used but now. It was more.

More than she perhaps wanted to admit to herself. ,,Miss, it's your turn," a voice snapped her out of her thoughts and her hand slipped into her pocket. Past her notebook and to her wallet and pulled it out.

She thanked the security guard after he had looked at her ID. Before she went into the building with a pounding heart.

She knew it from videos and pictures she had seen in her primary school days. Vague memories went through her mind as she saw an android approaching her.

It seemed as if they wanted to hold back the free spirit and not let people walk around here freely. Like a fake bird in a real cage. ,,Good afternoon, Miss, would you please follow me," he said and she saw the Led flicker briefly from blue to a brief yellow.

He must be announcing me she thought to herself and followed the android with a smile knowing that many others were hostile towards the machines.

Some even went so far as to beat up and kill the androids that didn't fight back. There were unpleasant headlines about severed body parts belonging to several missing androids. Headlines that sent shivers down her spine.

After all, who said that all the androids wouldn't be dead soon? ,,What is it that Mr. Kamski wants from me?" she asked as they walked through the foyer and stood in an elevator. The android stood in front of her and turned his head slightly towards her.

She saw exactly how his eyes avoided hers for a second before he said, ,,A test to see if you are suitable for the job you are looking for," and turned forward again. The quiet hum of the elevator was between them again and her purse had disappeared back into her pocket.

Her heart seemed to compete with her nervousness as the elevator arrived at the top floor of the building. The floor she had never been on before, at least not then.

It seemed almost unbelievable to be back here now. ,,Please, you have to go through this door, good luck," the android said, pointing to what appeared to be a door in the large white hallway with a few modern paintings, plants and bright lights.

,,Thank you," she mumbled and gave the android a small smile before stepping out of the elevator and walking towards the door.

She heard exactly how the android got back in and she was alone in the hallway. She knew she had to go forward. She finally had to go to the door and felt how each step seemed to get heavier and heavier.

But after a few seconds the moment was over and she put her hand on the handle. Opened the door and stepped into the room where she found the man who would give her a job.

The light in the room was dimmer, not so bright that it stung her eyes, it was most like a foggy afternoon with dark clouds hanging in the sky and the threat of thunderstorms. Her eyes fell on the occupied armchair that stood behind a glass table.

The light illuminated the figure slightly and she saw him. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski," she said, surprised that her voice had held and that she hadn't thrown up from nervousness.

She saw how he leaned forward slightly, the dark strands of his hair framing his face. His bright blue eyes watching her closely as if she were the machine to him and the androids were the humans.

As he briefly pointed to the chair she should sit down on, she obeyed his silent command, her slightly trembling fingers pulling the chair back and sitting down. The slight clatter of her bag seemed to be too loud in the room before she turned her gaze forward.

His eyes met hers and she almost forgot to breathe for a moment. He was everything. He seemed like it came from her imagination, the pictures, videos and articles. ,,Do you think an android can get nervous?" his voice suddenly rang out, so engaging that it seemed to drown out her heartbeat.

The question echoed in her head over and over again. ,,N-no I mean yes" she began to stammer and felt the warmth jump to her ears and cheeks.

Oh god pull yourself together! she screamed at herself in her head, swallowing the lump in her throat and digging her fingers into her jeans. ,,Yes... I do think that androids can get nervous. There are... deviants who show emotions, they are human too," she replied and looked up from her lap to the older one again.

Saw how he had tilted his head slightly. His gaze looked as if he was considering whether he should throw her out or do it himself.

,,So you're implying that androids are human? Are you questioning my work?" he asked, smirking as he could practically see the gears turning in her head. She was apparently trying to guess which answer was the right one.

After a few more seconds of silence, he saw in her gaze that she had found her answer. ,,No, I don't question it, I would say that it shows that the relationship between humans and androids is maybe doing something... maybe human," she dared to put up her tese and saw first to her fear how the small smile on his lips disappeared.

His bright eyes looked at her almost incredulously as if she had deeply offended him. I'll never get a job, she thought to herself and was about to reach for her bag when she heard the sound of paper.

,,Come to this address next week and have your tessellation completed Miss," he said and felt him put a card in her hand. She had it. She had the job.

She had finally got it. ,,Thank you! I mean thank you very much Mr. Kamski, I'll come," she said and grabbed her bags before walking out of the room. The big smile on her lips spoke for itself as the android seemed to rejoice with her on her way out.

But in that time, she hadn't even thought about what it meant to be with him. To move in with him, to be with him for more than just minutes or hours. Forever.

Because a mind infused with devotion and emotion overlooks the obvious. Overlooks the gaze of obsession.

The gaze of possession. The gaze of the rich and their greed for everything. Oh, he would do so much more with her than just have her around.

But she did what he said and came to the address on Monday of the next week. His house was out of town, secluded by roads, woods and rocks.

But when she parked her small car in front of the house, armed only with a bag, she realized once again what this meant. I feel like a little kid at Christmas, she thought as she walked up the stairs to his door. It was the season of winter, snow was slowly falling from the sky and looking behind her she saw the landscape slowly turning white.

Her coat kept her warm and the hat on her head kept her ears from freezing. Ringing the bell, she tried to concentrate on the time in front of her, not the cold.

A smile on her lips turned into a surprised look when a blonde woman opened the door for her. ,,Hello, you're Miss Sun right?" she asked the blonde woman who seemed as perfect as only an angel could be.

An android. ,,Yes, I am Mr. Kamski had given me his address for the job," she replied and saw that the blonde woman stepped aside to let her in. ,,Mr. Kamski is expecting you, please take a seat in the living room," she said, a small smile playing around her lips before she gestured towards the room.

The house was too big for one man to live in. But as she walked through the hallways and doors, the dark walls, saw the colorful paintings and the markings, she realized how different they were.

She was nothing compared to him and yet he had chosen her. He had seen something in her, something that set her apart from the others.

But what? What was it? Putting the bag down next to the table, she found herself in the living room. Didn't know whether she should sit down or not. Instead, she stood next to the table and looked around the room.

Only heard muffled footsteps coming towards her, the door opened and he came out. He came out of another part of the house. A black bathrobe on his body, she saw that his hair was still slightly wet, she could see a little of his upper body.

But his gaze, his bright eyes seemed to focus only on her, despite his appearance, he had lost none of his look. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski, your housekeeper said I should come here...I can wait too," she said and was about to reach for her bag when she heard his grin.

A smirk that led to an amused smile. ,,No, I wanted you to be here and that's why you're here. I suppose you found your way here all right?" he asked, but his interest was clear. She sensed that it wasn't about her life. It should be about her.

It was supposed to be about her work and what was going on inside her. ,,Yes, I did, I also revised my thesis again... Mr. Kamski could you tell me what the job is about now?" she asked as she watched him make himself a green protein shake, mixing the powder with the vegetables, the blender surprisingly quiet.

But he remained silent as he calmly made his drink before walking past her, gesturing for her to follow him. Grabbing her handbag, she followed him, not knowing whether she should walk beside him or behind him.

But she opted for the latter, not wanting to push her luck too far. She didn't want to compete with him. But why? Do I even have a chance? she asked herself and almost walked into him when he stopped.

,,Your room is all yours, I know it might be unpleasant but I would ask you to stay here. As far as my work is concerned, quick communication is essential," he said, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her. She watched as she looked around the room a little.

The room was three times the size of her own small room. Cave it could probably even fit her entire apartment in here. Staying here? For how long? the question popped up in her head and she looked at him slightly questioningly.

She saw that he knew what she was getting at and took a sip of his drink. ,,I don't think for a few more weeks...it depends on how good you are...oh and please just call me Elijah," he dismissed her with those words, closing the door behind him and taking her nervousness with him.

Her glance at her bag let her know that she had to go back to her apartment to pick up her things, but that she had still taken her book with her.

The words she had written about him, being in his house, working for him. ,,I really did it," she muttered and proudly began to unpack her things, set up her room and took her things with her. She tried to find Elijah only to run into Chloe who let her know that Elijah was at work.

Letting her know when he needed her to get her things. Which is why she found herself back in her apartment less than an hour later. Had walked back to the exit, past the pictures and cameras, past the Chloes and past his gaze without realizing it.

She didn't see what he was doing, she just knew she had to do something to formulate her thesis. And when she came back, she saw him again eating a salad at the table in the living room, but this time he wasn't wearing a coat.

He was wearing normal jeans, a dark shirt and glasses. ,,I see you're back, I'd like to read your thesis the day after tomorrow. To understand what's going on inside you," he said and gave her a slight smile. She felt her heart beat faster again, she agreed and went back to her room with her things. The smile on her lips was unmistakable.

Just as unmistakable as his approval. She did as he said as she joined him in his office, his workroom full of various technical things. ,,Elijah, I have my thesis," she said as she stepped inside after knocking and the door opened, she saw him working on an android model.

It was a construct of wires, metal and the pump that symbolized the heart, yet human features were recognizable.

He looked up from his work and something like surprise flashed in his gaze as if he was realizing something before he gave her a satisfied look and motioned her to his desk.

She handed him her tese and he grinned as he felt the paper in his hands. ,,Old-fashioned and yet not corruptibly good," he said as he took the paper properly before he began to read it. she remained standing next to him, watching his eyes run over the sentences.

He became more and more lost in her work, absorbing her words and becoming more and more absorbed in them. ,,Perfection, your idea of something non-living... very good, I'm proud. I would like you to design a model of it for me more deep thought" he baht she had turned towards her his hand had placed itself on her shoulder.

She felt his warmth, although she had always thought of him as cold, he was warm. He was welcoming and he made her heart beat faster, leaving her proud as he held her tese before giving her a smile and watching her walk out of the room.

Not knowing what his thoughts turned to as he went back to his latest project. Her thesis would help him. Everything would be perfect.

But she did what he said, worked on her work, didn't question him, wouldn't and shouldn't. Ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with him. Caught herself listening in the house to see if he was awake to go to the kitchen and make breakfast.

Usually did it with Chloe, who didn't need any sleep. The two of them talked and laughed and she forgot that the blonde was an android.

Forgetting what was happening around her, what was happening out in the world, what had ever happened. Because what she had was here. A job, a friend and a man who admired her and gave her support.

Or did she? Could she describe her life like this? How long had she been with him - days, weeks or even months? How often had she sat with him, revised her work and written down her inner life? What had happened?

,,My dear I will invite you to dinner and would like you to carry this here" she mumbled the words on the small card that lay on the gift wrapping paper that held something with fabric inside.

Unwrapping the gift, she saw the dark fabric of the dress and held it in front of her body. She could feel how expensive it must be, it was perfectly tailored to her body.

It was perfect in every way. As she stood in front of the mirror, she looked at herself in it and for a moment felt like she was on the same level as him. Was with him to the point that she meant something to him.

And she caught herself thinking that the only thing missing was the gold ring on her hand. But had she turned like this or had he made her like this? Did he want to make her like this? Or was everything bigger than he thought in the end? Was she programmed from the beginning to react like this, was it her feelings?

Was it his creation? She didn't let her thoughts get in the way and continued by putting red lipstick on her lips. She took one last look in the mirror before leaving her room. Hearing the clack of her shoes in the hallway, she walked into the dining room, finding no Chloe or any of her friends on her way.

She found only the silence of the house and heard the classical music coming from one of the rooms like a rhythm, the sounds played over and over again as she arrived in the candlelit room. ,,You look beautiful, I'm glad you put it on," he said, giving her the appearance of a choice she didn't have.

After all, what kind of woman would she be if she didn't comply with his request. ,,Thank you for the dress and the invitation," she replied, her gaze dropping for a moment before she saw him step into her field of vision, taking her hand and feeling his warmth as he led her to the table.

,,It's a multi-course meal to thank you for your work," he began, placing the first course of food, a simple soup, before reaching for the bottle of wine and pouring them both a glass.

She saw him sit down opposite her and they both ate in silence. But it wasn't unpleasant, on the contrary, the food, the sound of the cutlery and the music in the background created an atmosphere of comfort.

She couldn't see what was hiding behind his gaze as he concentrated on her. ,,Sorry I haven't had so much time for you in the last few days and weeks," he said, almost too suddenly, as he put down the spoon, his look apologetic but his voice seeming out of place. He was inappropriate.

A man who had spent time under machines could show emotion. ,,It's perfectly all right... I'm very glad we have this," she replied and finished her soup, not wanting to break the atmosphere.

She did as she was told before they got to the end of the meal and she didn't know what to do. She didn't have to because Elijah got up from his seat and walked over to her, offering her his hand before she walked next to him for the first time. His hand was on hers as they both walked towards his office.

His gaze was on her, watching her, looking for anything wrong. ,,I've taken the liberty of creating a new prototype...your notes and work helped" he began and walked over to the machine knowing she was listening to him, knowing she would do anything for him from this point on. He handed her the table with the data and watched as she looked over it, fascination in her eyes for his work.

He knew that she would always admire him, it didn't take much but he had read it. He had read her book and knew that she was truly the right person for his purpose.

That his inner self was right, his genius was right, his obsession was right. She let the shapes and processes on the table before she suddenly felt his hand on her shoulder.

He touched her in all the time she had been with him, he had never fully touched her now only when she had done something well. ,,What did I do well?" she asked, turning to him, the device with the thin screen still in her hand.

She kept still wanting more from him, the bond between them still far too strong. He saw her as his and she saw herself as his wife. It was and would be between them. It was her devotion in her brain for him, and it was his desire for her as his wife. For someone perfect.

,,Everything my love...you have no idea...what you've done to me," he murmured and she felt his other hand on her shoulder as he continued to touch her, praising her for something she couldn't do.

,,Can I do something for my existence?" she asked her inner question out to him, hearing his smirk, smelling the metal, the aftershave, snow and wine. Smelled him. Felt him so close to her and yet she didn't move. Stood still like someone waiting for an order.

Something he liked to have her the way he wanted her. Like an android. ,,You can help what you do... tell me, do you want to be free for a moment?" he asked, his hand moving over her shoulder and down to her hand. He gripped the tray and gave her the freedom to decide for a moment.

She could walk away or she could stay and give it to him. And she did. She gave it to him. ,,Free? But we're free, aren't we?" she asked, not knowing what he meant as he took the tray from her. Leaving the first kiss on her neck before he slowly moved her past the.

The office, like everything else, was just a pretext which she seemed to realize but it made no sense, it didn't matter, there was just the two of them and that should be enough. She hadn't been what she used to be for a long time.

But it didn't matter, it was about him and her, not about what had happened. She felt him leave more kisses on her skin as the doors opened in front of them and she felt the warmth on her cheeks, a natural reaction when she saw his bedroom. Dark walls reddish abstract paintings on the walls.

One might have thought that the pictures hid the portrait of a woman, but what did she know. At most, he saw her in the colors. Because he wanted to. Because understanding told him so. She felt him next to her, his hands gripped hers, her shy gaze found his.

Her uncertain, his almost demanding, the glasses helped him to see her better, even if he didn't need them. He would have her anyway. He slowly placed his hand on her side and pulled her close.

On the contrary, the closer he touched her, the more intimate she became. The more she wanted him. ,,That's it," he said with a murmur, apparently listening to her thoughts before she felt his lips on hers, kissing his warmth over her as she clung to him, almost searching.

He wanted the kiss more knew he was getting it. But she gladly gave herself to him. She felt safe. He had given her a job, given her a dress, given her everything.

Now it was only fair that she gave him something back, wasn't it? It was always like that. She only felt a dull sensation as he moved to her back and unzipped the expensive fabric flowing from her body. She stepped out of her shoes as if automatically, not wanting it to be over like this.

She wanted to please him without realizing that she was doing just that. ,,I've liked you ever since I saw you... like a perfection for me," he said, taking away her fear as he went to the bed, leaving her standing there, almost confused and full of shame.

The warmth on her cheeks increased as she felt flattered and crawled towards him on the bed, knowing that he was watching her, not hiding the fact that he found her attractive.

That he saw exactly how her nipples had hardened slightly from the cold. That his hands lay on the fabric and her shaky exhale. He had her body to himself, had her to himself. ,,Elijah you-me...you are everything," she murmured, knowing it was her mind veiled in lust.

The spirit that longed for Elijah wanted more. Wanted more of his touch. ,,I know that... I know everything, my love," he whispered to her, pulling her into another kiss before he let his hand wander over her breast again. He felt her shudder. ,,Poor girl...all these months without touch or pleasure...without me," he said, watching her.

Watched her through his Chloe's or had to know. Had given him lust without her knowing who his cameras were. She had shown him everything he needed to know. Always in the quiet of the night, he had touched himself to see what she had done.

He pulled her onto his lap, feeling her quick pulse as he kissed her neck, beginning to leave colorful marks on it, her warmth mingling with his as she held onto the cover in the dark bed.#

His hand that was not on her breast moved to her thigh. She felt her hips thrust out towards him, full of devotion, needing him. ,,I'm going to make you feel good look" he whispered to her biting lightly into her lobe hearing her shaky exhale feeling her lust could feel the tingling in her body as his rough fingers slipped under her bra.

Moaning his name, she pressed herself against him, feeling his own arousal against her back, yet he focused on her. Wanted to see her fall apart when he actually touched her.

She opened her half-closed eyes and looked at herself and Elijah out loud in surprise. Her own reflection in the mirror built into the closet. ,,Beautiful forever," he whispered to her and she moaned as she let his fingers wander over her center.

It was different where her fingers weren't even close enough, his seemed so much better. He felt her wetness through the fabric of her underwear, took his hand from her breast and let it wander over her body. Leaving red scratches, small bites, marks and kisses.

Driving her on as he repeatedly focused his attention on the little bundle of nerves. As her voice filled the room, the classical music drowning in it, he was also completely hard but with each of her shaky movements his hardness got some relief.

He rubbed himself lightly against her his breathing was slightly shaky and yet it made no difference. Because he dealt with her. Giving her more of what she wanted while his blue eyes were on her. Her gaze on the mirror. The trembling spread to her legs as she begged him for more.

But he knew he had watched her closely and knew when she was slowly coming to the end. ,,Look at you, darling... everything just for me," he continued to murmur, finally wanting to show her. His finger moved out of her only to add another one, keeping her better than her own, her hips in rhythm with him. His praise took her mind away.

His pace increased, her trembling increased and when he heard her murmur he knew she was nearing climax. ,,El-Elijah please," she said, resting her head on his shoulder, finally wanting to let go, her fingers digging into the dark bed. He gave her body more kisses before he gave her the okay.

He took his hand from her breast and gripped her jaw, forcing her to look at herself in the mirror. She fell apart around him with a throaty moan.

He pulled out of her, her heavy-breathing form relaxing to just a sporadic twitch of her legs as she came down from her high. Closing her eyes, he withdrew from her. Licked his hand clean and slowly pushed her away. Watched as she still wasn't completely back, but she didn't have to be. ,,Thank you for your time, my dear," he said, hearing only a murmur, but his gaze went to the mirror.

A flicker caused the android behind it to take away the image of the mirror, the projection disappeared and her image emerged in the form of the android.

,,I have recorded all the data, sir," said the android's voice, turning her gaze away from her human image. ,,Very well, interpret the data I want perfection darling," he said and his hand passed over hers but warmth met cold. The coldness of a machine before it went out. He was left alone with his muse, his darling.

Saw that she was asleep saw that she was unaware. Didn't know what his search for her had driven her to. ,,Sleep well my love," he said and withdrew from her, opening and closing the door. Left her alone.

Until he wanted her again, knowing that she would give him everything. That he had rebuilt her so that when her human shell died, he had her eternally living one. She was his, right down to her soul, she belonged to him and always had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[mostlysignssomeportents]

A link-clump demands a linkdump

Cometh the weekend, cometh the linkdump. My daily-ish newsletter includes a section called "Hey look at this," with three short links per day, but sometimes those links get backed up and I need to clean house. Here's the eight previous installments:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

The country code top level domain (ccTLD) for the Caribbean island nation of Anguilla is .ai, and that's turned into millions of dollars worth of royalties as "entrepreneurs" scramble to sprinkle some buzzword-compliant AI stuff on their businesses in the most superficial way possible:

https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/08/ai-fever-turns-anguillas-ai-domain-into-a-digital-gold-mine/

All told, .ai domain royalties will account for about ten percent of the country's GDP.

It's actually kind of nice to see Anguilla finding some internet money at long last. Back in the 1990s, when I was a freelance web developer, I got hired to work on the investor website for a publicly traded internet casino based in Anguilla that was a scammy disaster in every conceivable way. The company had been conceived of by people who inherited a modestly successful chain of print-shops and decided to diversify by buying a dormant penny mining stock and relaunching it as an online casino.

But of course, online casinos were illegal nearly everywhere. Not in Anguilla – or at least, that's what the founders told us – which is why they located their servers there, despite the lack of broadband or, indeed, reliable electricity at their data-center. At a certain point, the whole thing started to whiff of a stock swindle, a pump-and-dump where they'd sell off shares in that ex-mining stock to people who knew even less about the internet than they did and skedaddle. I got out, and lost track of them, and a search for their names and business today turns up nothing so I assume that it flamed out before it could ruin any retail investors' lives.

Anguilla is a British Overseas Territory, one of those former British colonies that was drained and then given "independence" by paternalistic imperial administrators half a world away. The country's main industries are tourism and "finance" – which is to say, it's a pearl in the globe-spanning necklace of tax- and corporate-crime-havens the UK established around the world so its most vicious criminals – the hereditary aristocracy – can continue to use Britain's roads and exploit its educated workforce without paying any taxes.

This is the "finance curse," and there are tiny, struggling nations all around the world that live under it. Nick Shaxson dubbed them "Treasure Islands" in his outstanding book of the same name:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780230341722/treasureislands

I can't imagine that the AI bubble will last forever – anything that can't go on forever eventually stops – and when it does, those .ai domain royalties will dry up. But until then, I salute Anguilla, which has at last found the internet riches that I played a small part in bringing to it in the previous century.

The AI bubble is indeed overdue for a popping, but while the market remains gripped by irrational exuberance, there's lots of weird stuff happening around the edges. Take Inject My PDF, which embeds repeating blocks of invisible text into your resume:

https://kai-greshake.de/posts/inject-my-pdf/

The text is tuned to make resume-sorting Large Language Models identify you as the ideal candidate for the job. It'll even trick the summarizer function into spitting out text that does not appear in any human-readable form on your CV.

Embedding weird stuff into resumes is a hacker tradition. I first encountered it at the Chaos Communications Congress in 2012, when Ang Cui used it as an example in his stellar "Print Me If You Dare" talk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njVv7J2azY8

Cui figured out that one way to update the software of a printer was to embed an invisible Postscript instruction in a document that basically said, "everything after this is a firmware update." Then he came up with 100 lines of perl that he hid in documents with names like cv.pdf that would flash the printer when they ran, causing it to probe your LAN for vulnerable PCs and take them over, opening a reverse-shell to his command-and-control server in the cloud. Compromised printers would then refuse to apply future updates from their owners, but would pretend to install them and even update their version numbers to give verisimilitude to the ruse. The only way to exorcise these haunted printers was to send 'em to the landfill. Good times!

Printers are still a dumpster fire, and it's not solely about the intrinsic difficulty of computer security. After all, printer manufacturers have devoted enormous resources to hardening their products against their owners, making it progressively harder to use third-party ink. They're super perverse about it, too – they send "security updates" to your printer that update the printer's security against you – run these updates and your printer downgrades itself by refusing to use the ink you chose for it:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/11/ink-stained-wretches-battle-soul-digital-freedom-taking-place-inside-your-printer

It's a reminder that what a monopolist thinks of as "security" isn't what you think of as security. Oftentimes, their security is antithetical to your security. That was the case with Web Environment Integrity, a plan by Google to make your phone rat you out to advertisers' servers, revealing any adblocking modifications you might have installed so that ad-serving companies could refuse to talk to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/02/self-incrimination/#wei-bai-bai

WEI is now dead, thanks to a lot of hueing and crying by people like us:

https://www.theregister.com/2023/11/02/google_abandons_web_environment_integrity/

But the dream of securing Google against its own users lives on. Youtube has embarked on an aggressive campaign of refusing to show videos to people running ad-blockers, triggering an arms-race of ad-blocker-blockers and ad-blocker-blocker-blockers:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-will-the-ad-versus-ad-blocker-arms-race-end/

The folks behind Ublock Origin are racing to keep up with Google's engineers' countermeasures, and there's a single-serving website called "Is uBlock Origin updated to the last Anti-Adblocker YouTube script?" that will give you a realtime, one-word status update:

https://drhyperion451.github.io/does-uBO-bypass-yt/

One in four web users has an ad-blocker, a stat that Doc Searls pithily summarizes as "the biggest boycott in world history":

https://doc.searls.com/2015/09/28/beyond-ad-blocking-the-biggest-boycott-in-human-history/

Zero app users have ad-blockers. That's not because ad-blocking an app is harder than ad-blocking the web – it's because reverse-engineering an app triggers liability under IP laws like Section 1201 of the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, which can put you away for 5 years for a first offense. That's what I mean when I say that "IP is anything that lets a company control its customers, critics or competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

I predicted that apps would open up all kinds of opportunities for abusive, monopolistic conduct back in 2010, and I'm experiencing a mix of sadness and smugness (I assume there's a German word for this emotion) at being so thoroughly vindicated by history:

https://memex.craphound.com/2010/04/01/why-i-wont-buy-an-ipad-and-think-you-shouldnt-either/

The more control a company can exert over its customers, the worse it will be tempted to treat them. These systems of control shift the balance of power within companies, making it harder for internal factions that defend product quality and customer interests to win against the enshittifiers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

The result has been a Great Enshittening, with platforms of all description shifting value from their customers and users to their shareholders, making everything palpably worse. The only bright side is that this has created the political will to do something about it, sparking a wave of bold, muscular antitrust action all over the world.

The Google antitrust case is certainly the most important corporate lawsuit of the century (so far), but Judge Amit Mehta's deference to Google's demands for secrecy has kept the case out of the headlines. I mean, Sam Bankman-Fried is a psychopathic thief, but even so, his trial does not deserve its vastly greater prominence, though, if you haven't heard yet, he's been convicted and will face decades in prison after he exhausts his appeals:

https://newsletter.mollywhite.net/p/sam-bankman-fried-guilty-on-all-charges

The secrecy around Google's trial has relaxed somewhat, and the trickle of revelations emerging from the cracks in the courthouse are fascinating. For the first time, we're able to get a concrete sense of which queries are the most lucrative for Google:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/11/1/23941766/google-antitrust-trial-search-queries-ad-money

The list comes from 2018, but it's still wild. As David Pierce writes in The Verge, the top twenty includes three iPhone-related terms, five insurance queries, and the rest are overshadowed by searches for customer service info for monopolistic services like Xfinity, Uber and Hulu.

All-in-all, we're living through a hell of a moment for piercing the corporate veil. Maybe it's the problem of maintaining secrecy within large companies, or maybe the the rampant mistreatment of even senior executives has led to more leaks and whistleblowing. Either way, we all owe a debt of gratitude to the anonymous leaker who revealed the unbelievable pettiness of former HBO president of programming Casey Bloys, who ordered his underlings to create an army of sock-puppet Twitter accounts to harass TV and movie critics who panned HBO's shows:

https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/hbo-casey-bloys-secret-twitter-trolls-tv-critics-leaked-texts-lawsuit-the-idol-1234867722/

These trolling attempts were pathetic, even by the standards of thick-fingered corporate execs. Like, accusing critics who panned the shitty-ass Perry Mason reboot of disrespecting veterans because the fictional Mason's back-story had him storming the beach on D-Day.

The pushback against corporate bullying is everywhere, and of course, the vanguard is the labor movement. Did you hear that the UAW won their strike against the auto-makers, scoring raises for all workers based on the increases in the companies' CEO pay? The UAW isn't done, either! Their incredible new leader, Shawn Fain, has called for a general strike in 2028:

https://www.404media.co/uaw-calls-on-workers-to-line-up-massive-general-strike-for-2028-to-defeat-billionaire-class/

The massive victory for unionized auto-workers has thrown a spotlight on the terrible working conditions and pay for workers at Tesla, a criminal company that has no compunctions about violating labor law to prevent its workers from exercising their legal rights. Over in Sweden, union workers are teaching Tesla a lesson. After the company tried its illegal union-busting playbook on Tesla service centers, the unionized dock-workers issued an ultimatum: respect your workers or face a blockade at Sweden's ports that would block any Tesla from being unloaded into the EU's fifth largest Tesla market:

https://www.wired.com/story/tesla-sweden-strike/

Of course, the real solution to Teslas – and every other kind of car – is to redesign our cities for public transit, walking and cycling, making cars the exception for deliveries, accessibility and other necessities. Transitioning to EVs will make a big dent in the climate emergency, but it won't make our streets any safer – and they keep getting deadlier.

Last summer, my dear old pal Ted Kulczycky got in touch with me to tell me that Talking Heads were going to be all present in public for the first time since the band's breakup, as part of the debut of the newly remastered print of Stop Making Sense, the greatest concert movie of all time. Even better, the show would be in Toronto, my hometown, where Ted and I went to high-school together, at TIFF.

Ted is the only person I know who is more obsessed with Talking Heads than I am, and he started working on tickets for the show while I starting pricing plane tickets. And then, the unthinkable happened: Ted's wife, Serah, got in touch to say that Ted had been run over by a car while getting off of a streetcar, that he was severely injured, and would require multiple surgeries.

But this was Ted, so of course he was still planning to see the show. And he did, getting a day-pass from the hospital and showing up looking like someone from a Kids In The Hall sketch who'd been made up to look like someone who'd been run over by a car:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/53182440282/

In his Globe and Mail article about Ted's experience, Brad Wheeler describes how the whole hospital rallied around Ted to make it possible for him to get to the movie:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/music/article-how-a-talking-heads-superfan-found-healing-with-the-concert-film-stop/

He also mentions that Ted is working on a book and podcast about Stop Making Sense. I visited Ted in the hospital the day after the gig and we talked about the book and it sounds amazing. Also? The movie was incredible. See it in Imax.

That heartwarming tale of healing through big suits is a pretty good place to wrap up this linkdump, but I want to call your attention to just one more thing before I go: Robin Sloan's Snarkmarket piece about blogging and "stock and flow":

https://snarkmarket.com/2010/4890/

Sloan makes the excellent case that for writers, having a "flow" of short, quick posts builds the audience for a "stock" of longer, more synthetic pieces like books. This has certainly been my experience, but I think it's only part of the story – there are good, non-mercenary reasons for writers to do a lot of "flow." As I wrote in my 2021 essay, "The Memex Method," turning your commonplace book into a database – AKA "blogging" – makes you write better notes to yourself because you know others will see them:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

This, in turn, creates a supersaturated, subconscious solution of fragments that are just waiting to nucleate and crystallize into full-blown novels and nonfiction books and other "stock." That's how I came out of lockdown with nine new books. The next one is The Lost Cause, a hopepunk science fiction novel about the climate whose early fans include Naomi Klein, Rebecca Solnit, Bill McKibben and Kim Stanley Robinson. It's out on November 14:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/05/variegated/#nein

[2screamingpears]

A not-complete list of wonderful changes, translation and localization I noticed when I went to see Book of Mormon in Madrid!

Hey! So I went to see The Book of Mormon last month in Madrid, and since I had watched (bootlegged) and listened to the original production, I was able to enjoy some changes they made so it could be enjoyed by spanish audiences!

First off, I should say that it wasn’t a replica production (and I think I much prefer this one!). The choreography was amazing, and definitely more elaborate than on broadway ! Here, have a look: https://youtu.be/NZ5UxjN2MPs?si=UErYQUODo5Qs-EMC

Some of the first changes I wondered how they were going to make was the opening number: both Hello and Hola have the same syllables but hola cannot be used, since the accent falls on the first syllable in hola and the second in hello….. so spanish mormons just end up saying how are you (¿qué tal?) 😂

Second change comes during the second number, two by two: one of the jokes is weirdly untranslatable, which is the addendum at the end of the phrase “we are the soldiers of the church of jesus christ (of latter day saints)”. Since in spanish “of la-tter day saints” (5 syllables) would be “de los úl-ti-mos dí-as” (7 syllables), they changed it to “yo-soy-mor-món” (i am a mormon) which fits! There is a joke lost, but mormonism isn’t as widespread as it is on the US, so it’s hardly noticeable.

This one is mostly to update the content, but during two by two when the trip to japan gets announced, the mormons are excited about soy sauce and godzilla (instead of mothra)

Next comes a change i also wondered about: how do you make a joke out of Elder Price’s wish to go to Orlando, of all things? In the English version, Elder Price would like to go to orlando because of Sea World, Disney and putt-putt golfing: spaniards have no cultural knowledge of what Orlando is, so the translated line is “Orlando! Disney me espera, soy fan de Frozen” (Orlando! Disney is waiting for me, I’m a Frozen fan) which really drives home the ridiculousness of choosing that place as your mission trip. Also, if you watch the video i linked, the joke is super amplified through choreography, which is part of why i love this production so much.

Hasa diga eebowai gets one change Very right: instead of saying fuck you god, they say “me cago en dios” (i shit on god) which is a very common way of cursing about things in spain: you can shit on the milk (me cago en la leche), on your mother (me cago en tu madre) and indeed, you can shit on god!

One fun localization comes in at the end of All-American prophet, a song that’s basically a sales pitch or infomercial : the fun little gag at the end where Elder Cunningham says “if you order now, we’ll also throw a seat of steak knives” gets changed to “if you order now, we’ll throw in a thermomix for free” For people who don’t know, a thermomix is The Product everyone gets from infomercials/ through independent sellers: it’s a chopper/blender/cooker/scale/kitchen robot, very convenient! My mother has one :) one of the ugandan ladies asks Cunningham about the thermomix inmediatly after finishing the number and he excitedly begins explaining the whole shtick every middle aged spanish lady has heard before, that got a big laugh :)

In the sequence before spooky mormon hell dream, when Elder Price’s so happy that he finally reaches Orlando, he throws in another elsa joke, saying that he’s blonde like her, so thats why she likes her😂

During Spooky mormon hell dream, one change that got Such a big laugh was seeing the four people that are in hell according to Elder Price: Genghis Khan, Hitler, Jeffrey Dahmer and, instead of Jonnie Cochran (idk even who he is) we got Silvio Berlusconi, politician and founder of communications company Mediaset, which runs a thrash tv channel called Telecinco (and that’s what he’s in hell for, according to the song)

The thing elder cunningham always says “tomorrow’s a latter day” gets changed to a saying a lot of catholic old people say, “mañana dios dirá” which both fits in the metric and localizes it, since mormonism isn’t that well known.

And that’s it! It was such a wonderful performance, and a testament to the beauty of translation: even if i know I understand English fairly well, seeing the jokes on my native language made everything 100x times funnier! Strongly recommend!

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 21-30: Andorra is a beautiful place

Here I am, once again, back with 10 more TMA chapters.

Things are starting to get very, VERY interesting.

<< Main Masterlist < Previous post

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MAG 21 - Freefall

A statement all about skydiving and my mind flies to Ex Altiora. I’ll admit it: I kept wondering if the supernatural shit of this statement was related to this book in particular - or to any other book from my man Leutner.

But nope, today’s supernatural shit is something both weird and horrific at the same time: the sky itself, that ate a guy. The account is purposely left as vague as possible, with a clear emphasis on how difficult it is to describe the whole thing, but the image of the sky shifting and enveloping Robert is both beautiful and eldritch-esque. I really liked it.

And here we go again with the familiar names, this time it’s Simon Fairchild. Why is it so familiar? Why is every name so familiar?

But most importantly: how badass is he? Just think about this man, who decided to give Robert the scare of his life and not because he had something against him, but just because. And he did it, by saying the most harmless thing ever. He literally woke up and chose violence.

Also, what the heck happened in the end? Glad to know Martin is back, but what’s happening? Did he bring slugs with him? Worms? Jane Prentiss? Some other supernatural shit?

_______________________________

MAG 22 - Colony

Holy shit, it really was Jane Prentiss again.

I wondered if we would’ve seen more of her victims, but I never wanted Martin to be one of them! Well, it is kind of his own fault - I mean, his zealousness is admirable, but was it really necessary to go twice into that scary basement? And he even tried to take a photo, to prove to his boss that he was not insane! Martin needs a vacation away from all this shit.

And he survived for 13 fucking days, with Jane Prentiss (who is officially a trypophobic’s nightmare) knocking at his door every now and then and one trillion worms trying to find their way inside his house - and possibly inside him too. Disgusting, draining, terrifying, hats off to him for surviving. 

So the famous stomach problems were not real: it was Jane Prentiss doing shit with Martin’s phone. And she even has the balls to write something like “Okay, sheesh, keep him”. Kind of a boss, I’ll admit it.

O-oh, what is the “Archivist’s crimson fate”? Is it a sort of “curse” placed on the Head Archivists of this Institute? Maybe that’s why Gertrude Robinson died: the man from MAG 11 tried to warn her, but it was too late and the “curse” activated before she could escape it. But considering that there are supernatural shits everywhere, is the “crimson fate” a curse or just another supernatural shit?

(Don’t you DARE to tell me any spoilers)

One last thing: John has been very understanding, which proves he’s a nice guy after all. Even if he always tells shit about Martin, this time he gave him a place in the Archives, reassured him and told him he would hire extra security too. He trusted his words. Finally, Jon is becoming a better person XD

He also mentioned a statement from Jane Prentiss herself, so if I’m getting this series right, I guess MAG 23 will be about that statement.

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MAG 23 - Schwartzwald

It wasn’t Jane Prentiss’ statement. Sad :(

But we got a statement given to Jonah Magnus - who I suppose is the founder of the Institute. Pretty cool.

Okay, so we have the tomb of this Johann von Württemberg guy, a man with no eyes, a disappeared coin, a mysterious book and a lot of eyes again. The book immediately made me think of my man Leutner, while the eyes are a constant reminder of MAG 11/all other MAGs before & after and I am 100% sure these eyes are part of some other supernatural shit we still have to see. Is it related to the “Archivist’s crimson fate”, maybe? Only time will tell.

Here we are, the most important part of the statement: Albrecht is ready to enter the mausoleum, even if a weird guy gave him a weirder warning. The tension builds, Albrecht is here, he lights his lantern… and then we have Martin, who is apparently walking around the Archives naked and I burst out laughing because I just had this wonderful image of Jon all focused on the statement, while Martin is chilling around wearing nothing but his boxers. Best way to build the tension and break it at the same time, 10/10, kudos to the author of this series for doing that, it was the funniest shit ever.

MY (WO)MAN MARY KEAY. Don’t be silly, Jon, of course it’s not a coincidence - there are no coincidences in this series. This woman is the mother of my man Gerard, I am 100% sure. And I love how the Keays have always been involved with supernatural shits, ever since their ancestor Albrecht. It kinda explains why Gerard is always around them. It’s not that he doesn’t have anything better to do: it's literally part of his DNA.

And it could also explain why he’s searching for Leutner’s books: maybe the one in Johann von Württemberg’s tomb really was a Leutner’s book and Gerard is searching for all others.

That's very, very interesting.

_______________________________

MAG 24 - Strange Music

A weird calliope organ and some murderous clown dolls. Not the most exciting story ever but hey, at least there are a couple interesting things here:

We hear Sasha for the first time and she appears for the most useless speech ever. I hope she will be more useful in the future. And Jon is sarcastic with her too, which proves to me that he’s not an ass: just a typical British guy XD (my dear Brits, you had it coming XD Don’t take me seriously, we’re all bros here <3)

Someone “legitimate” took the calliope. And my mind flies to our favorite delivery company “Breekon and Hope Deliveries”.

The Circus of the Other. What the heck is the “Other”? My bet is another supernatural shit.

Holy shit the organ is in the Institute?! Was it the Breekon and Hope Deliveries to deliver it or did the Institute take it?

Is there something Elias knows for sure, or all he knows is that things are “maybe/probably somewhere”? This man is useless XD

Now that I think about it: Elias is the head of the Institute, right? So he bought it from some of Magnus’ successors, I suppose. Now, does he know about the “Archivist’s crimson fate”? If this “fate” is some sort of curse that takes all Head Archivists, it probably took more Head Archivists before Gertrude Robinson, right? And Elias never asked himself why all these Archivists were casually dying under his nose?

Or maybe I’m getting it all wrong and the “crimson fate” isn’t a curse that affects all Head Archivists. Well, then I have another unrelated question: how's it possible that the goddamn Head of the Institute knows nothing of his Institute? How involved is Elias in the Institute and its organization?

There are still many missing things and I can’t wait to connect them all.

_______________________________

MAG 25 - Growing Dark

The statement itself isn’t very interesting, just “guy finds some random shit in a dark creepy place”, but there are a few details that caught my attention.

First of all, here we are again with a closed eye. I suppose that the People’s Church of the Divine Host and these Hither Green Dissenters are all part of the same gang, considering they both share closed eyes as their symbol. Also, now there’s Alesund mentioned too. Is this the birthplace of the supernatural shit they all worship? And are closed and open eyes related to the same supernatural shit or they're two different shits?

We also have the exact date in which Gertrude Robinson died: May 15th, 2015. And this is a problem for me, because I don’t remember any date and I suck with dates in general, unless I have a scheme/timeline/whatever. So tell me: should I do a timeline?

Fuck, I’ll do it anyway.

_______________________________

MAG 26 - A Distortion

Holy shit. HOLY. SHIT.

*I think I’ve finally found my Michael. And it’s not Michael Getty, Michael Crew or Michael Whatever: it’s Michael the Supernatural Shit. And I love him. I mean, he is:

a chill guy, who buys flowers and drinks coffee

a poet, considering that when Sasha asked him what he is, he said: “How would a melody describe itself when asked?”. Best way to answer, he’s amazing, I’m in love

a cool boy who is creepy as fuck while not appearing creepy at all

probably the guy “with all the bones in his hands” mentioned in MAG 8

a good boyo who wants to help

*I wrote a timeline just in time, because as soon as I heard the name Timothy Hodge, I instantly remembered he was from MAG 6. The timeline is useful: I will keep updating it, then.

*Poor Martin is being stalked by the goddamn colony of silver worms. Martin, I think it's time for a vacation far away from all these supernatural shits. What about Andorra? Andorra is between the mountains, so good luck finding it. The population is less than 90k, so basically there are more people in my backyard than in the entire state. And it’s in the Pyrenees, so I’m pretty sure the nights are probably shorter than in Norway.

Think about it, Martin: no supernatural shits, no worms, long days. And spas. They have spas too.

I dream this for Martin.

*Two statements ago I asked for Sasha to be more useful and here she is. She is useful indeed! Thank you for your service, Sasha: you finally gave me my Michael and you’ve probably saved Jon’s life. Great job.

But you know how you can save everyone's life even more? Move to Andorra. They also have traditions related to fire and burning things, just in case some worms find you. Listen to me and run away from all this shit.

Andorra is a wonderful place.

_______________________________

MAG 27 - A Sturdy Lock

Another not-very-interesting story, just “supernatural shit knocks at my door during the night”. Also, it comes after that bomb that was MAG 26, so the backlash is even stronger. I mean, after all the shit Sasha told him, Jon thought it was a great idea to record another statement. Seriously?!

Andorra, Jon. Andorra is a nice place to live.

Also, who the heck is Sarah Carpenter? Is she important too? Should I remember her too?

Even more important, what does that mean that Mr. McKenzie’s bedroom door “does not have a keyhole or a lock”? Was his door just a wood panel? Did it have only a handle? I’m kinda confused by this, honestly, but maybe it’s just me not being able to visualize it.

_______________________________

MAG 28 - Skintight

The statement isn’t particularly captivating, but Sarah Baldwin peeling off her skin and putting it back is a bit creepy, I’ll accept it.

Also, since Jon said she was in some previous statements, I searched for her and here she was, among all the missing people mentioned in MAG 1: disappeared in August 2006, while this statement is from April 2016. So the girl here clearly isn’t Sarah Baldwin.

That kinda explains her weird words about trespassing: she (it?) was probably apologizing to another supernatural shit in the hospital for entering their territory. But if I’m right, that means every supernatural shit has a territory like mafia bosses and no one can invade them? Or maybe this applies to some supernatural shits and not others. Maybe there is a hierarchy or similar and the most powerful can do whatever they want and go whenever they want, while others control specific, limited territories. Can’t wait to find out.

_______________________________

MAG 29 - Cheating Death

Oh, that was interesting! So, according to this statement, when you win death, you become death. Until someone else wins, then they become the new death and you turn back into a human, but you’re immortal. Very cool, a good variation to the topic of defeating death/cheating death/immortality.

Once again, the series listens to me and provides an answer to my questions: I wanted to know more about Elias and here we find out he was a filing clerk when Gertrude Robinson was still alive.

Well, this explains why Elias never cared about other Head Archivists before Getrude: he was just a clerk. Maybe he wasn’t even hired yet, when there was someone before her.

This also explains why he doesn’t know a lot of things: he was just a clerk, after all.

Still, it’s very weird that he managed to go from filing clerk to goddamn head of the Institute in the span of nothing. What happened to the previous head of the Institute? Did they die too, along with all the previous staff members? How? And only Elias survived this unexplained massacre? That’s very, very suspicious. If I were Jon, I would ask Elias a couple of things.

But if I were Jon, I would’ve already moved away from all this shit, so I wouldn’t ask anything anyway.

_______________________________

MAG 30 - Killing Floor

I’ll quote Jon for this one: “Hmm. More meat. Interesting.”

Is meat part of another supernatural shit? Should I be scared by it? In this case, it kinda failed to do so. I mean, this isn't a bad statement… just a little meh. After all, it’s just an endless slaughterhouse featuring the Obligatory Dead Guy. Nothing truly amazing.

And it’s kinda sad, because we had MAG 26 and now this post ends not with a bang, but with a meh. Sad :(

But even more sad is that Jon, despite all of this, is still recording statements.

Listen to me, Jon. Andorra is a nice place to live.

_______________________________

In conclusion

So, that's my theory for now:

There are a lot of different supernatural shits in this world. Some are more powerful and can do whatever they want, others are “minor” and they control smaller territories.

The Magnus Institute contains the worst/more powerful supernatural shit of them all. The Lukas family took/found this shit in Norway and decided it was very cool - but a little hungry too, so let’s close it in the Institute and let’s use the Institute as a huge “feeder” to feed it.

This supernatural shit is what Jane Prentiss referred to as the “Archivist’s crimson fate”. Every Head Archivist is somehow “cursed” to become food for this thing. That’s what happened to Gertrude Robinson, that’s what happened to her staff and that’s what happened to the staff before them.

Elias somehow survived and either 1) he turned into a supporter of the Lukas family or 2) he’s used as bait to find more people to feed to the supernatural shit.

How much of this is right? How much is wrong? Only time will tell me :D

Speaking of Jonathan: my man, I’m a skeptical person too, so I understand that you’re skeptical. But you literally have silver worms everywhere, someone threatened you via Martin’s phone, the most reasonable member of your staff told you she met a supernatural shit in real life and the supernatural shit confirmed something bad will happen to you. And after all of this, you are still recording statements as if it’s nothing?! My man, that’s not being skeptical, that’s not having any self-preservation instinct at all! First Martin threw himself into a basement that screamed “DANGER HERE”, now you're ignoring all red flags, wow you’re perfect for each other…

Wait... wait... are you two the homoerotic couple? Are you two gonna fall in love? I’ll admit it, it would be very funny if it’s you two. But, again, only time will tell.

So let’s wait and see what will happen: will my theories be correct? Will Michael the Supernatural Shit become Best Boyo of the series? Will my man Leutner still wreak havoc all over the world? Will Gerard come back to deal with this shit like he always does? How many more iconic weirdos will I find in the next 10 episodes? Will Jane Prentiss still haunt these poor people?

And most importantly: when will Jon and his staff finally listen to me and move to a better place?

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[wanderingmind867]

Following the Crisis, god revokes the Phantom Stranger and Destiny's powers, terrified of having them make humanity equal to him. Intimidating the other gods of the universe into not giving the stranger and destiny any sanctuary, the only place they can safely hide out is with Madame Xanadu at her in greenwich village.

This would be the backstory for the solo book about the stranger, destiny and madame xanadu fighting for answers that the universe seems to be desperately hiding from them. This series would feature all the phantom stranger's old supporting characters. Doctor Thirteen and his wife (who are still skeptics, but who still try to help the stranger find answers), and Cassandra Craft (who successfully manages to score a job with Madame Xanadu, learning magic and serving as her assistant).

But the book would eventually lead to the creation of a team like the justice league dark (and that team might become the focus of the book instead). I don't know if they'd go by that name explicitly (we may use a different name not so explicitly associated with the Justice League), but they'd come to exist. A team of five initial founders, who pursue answers to all their troubled existences together. These five founders are as follows:

The Phantom Stranger: Twin Brother to Destiny, god punished these two for being too intelligent, granting man knowledge that made god fear they would eclipse him in power. As punishment, he killed their whole community and wiped their memories. Then he cursed the stranger to wander the earth forever, never having a home ever again.

But now the stranger is freed from the curse. He remembers his past, although he's lost most of his powers. He's now just a simple magician with the same amount of strength as a mortal like zatanna, but he's still on the hunt for answers as to how to regain his lost powers and take revenge on god.

Destiny: Twin Brother to the Phantom Stranger, god punished him just the same way he punished the stranger. Except instead of cursing him to wander the earth forever, Destiny was cursed to never leave a musty old house at the edge of infinity. From that house he would read and guard the cosmic log. He would never be freed of it, as god had him permanently shackled to the book.

But Destiny is finally free of the log. His shackles are gone, and he's free of that horrible house! But just like his twin, he's lost his many great magical powers. He's pretty much just a normal mortal again, but that doesn't mean he's stopped looking for answers. He will get answers as to what god did to him and his brother, and as to how they can get their powers back.

Madame Xanadu: Born Urania Kothari, the woman who'd become Madame Xanadu was originally just a romani woman in europe. Her mother was a skilled sorceress, and she was the product of her mother's brief affair with a demon. She never had any real interactions with the demonic side of her family, but she did learn magic from her mother. And her half demon heritage meant her magic skills were somehow even more powerful and potent then her mothers. She was a skilled sorceresses and dealer with the cards.

But one day, she fell in love with the child of a priest. When the community found out, her mother and her love were both burned alive. Urania was almost killed too, but a god took pity on her and saved her by giving the gift of immortality. He also gave her a new identity as a fortune teller in colonial america, allowing her to blend in and escape her fate. Now she uses her magic powers to help all those desperate souls who come to her shop.

When the phantom stranger and destiny are stripped of their powers, only Madame Xanadu is willing to take them in. She allows them to continue their quest for knowledge from her store. She's their immortal guardian, ensuring god doesn't touch them and harm them before they can get answers. She's also the closest thing this team has to a leader.

Cassandra Craft: Cassandra Craft was a blind girl with the power to sense things and see them the way they truly are. A psychic of the highest order, Cassandra was the first person in centuries to befriend the phantom stranger and try travelling with him. He tried to reject her by faking his death, not wanting her to hold a candle for him (an immortal wanderer who could never return her love).

Cassandra and the Stranger have moved on from any romantic attraction nowadays, but they're still very close friends. And when the stranger lost his powers, Cassandra sensed it. She felt something strange happen to her friend, and she trailed his psychic emanations all the way to madame xanadu's shop. She insisted on helping the stranger and destiny discover their fates, and she successfully scored a job as madame xanadu's assistant. And meanwhile, she's in training to become a powerful sorceress in her own right.

Deadman (Boston Brand): Boston Brand was a circus performer gunned down in his prime. But instead of being allowed to rest, some eastern deity named rama kushna forced deadman to stay on earth and hunt down his killer. They wouldn't let him have eternal peace until he did that. So for years, deadman was forced to hunt down his killer, all in the hopes that he'd finally be allowed to have some form of eternal rest.

But the funny thing is: even after he finds his killer, rama kushna refuses to let him rest. No, they turn him into their virtual errand boy! Trapped on earth doing inane things for a god is not how Boston Brand wanted to spend his afterlife, but here he is! Sometimes he's downright suicidal, just wanting to have rest. But since he's a ghost, he can't even have that! No, he's cursed to wander earth forever, always invisible to the naked eye. He's seen so much…and he just wants some goddamn rest.

So when he heard about the stranger and destiny being stripped of their power, he decides he wants to at least check on them and try to help them (seeing as the stranger had helped him multiple times in the past). But Rama Kushna wouldn't let him visit them, since they wanted to stay in the good books with the god who cursed them. But deadman could care less about rama kushna, at this point. He goes to see them anyways!

But in going to see the stranger and destiny, rama kushna exiles him too. Nanda Parbat will never be open to him if he continues aiding the stranger. But deadman could care less. At least the stranger seems to care about him! Rama Kushna is the jerk that's kept him eternal rest for decades! They can go to hell, for all he cares!

So these are the five founding members of the justice league dark (or whatever i would want to call this team). They'd meet other people in the supernatural world too (etrigan might become a member later, for example), but these would be the core five. The ones we always see. A tight knit team of people just looking for answers, and a sense of peace.

[ramshacklefey]

I am here to request more Mormon facts🎤

Your wish is my command! I'll even sort them into categories for you.

Amusing:

The fact that there weren't horses in the Americas until European settlers has caused serious problems for their claims that their book is historically accurate.

This has led some to speculate that when the book says "horses" it means "tapirs."

All Mormon men think they're Paladins: at age 12, every amab person is inducted into their priesthood which is supposed to literally bestow on them the power to do miracles in the name of God as long as they are acting in accordance with God's will and living righteously.

They make a big deal of their "sacred secrets" in the temples, mostly so the members don't find out that they're just masonic rituals with the serial numbers shaved off.

Actually their whole structure is basically just a more bizarre version of the masons.

Their mythology makes free will impossible (something I figured out when I was 12, much to the consternation of my youth group leaders)

They believe that the righteous (men) will eventually become Gods and get to start their own universes.

Their supposedly eternal and absolute rules about what constitutes modest dress have nevertheless semi-consistently been updated to keep up with contemporary fashion.

Less funny:

Salt Lake City, Utah, is an unbelievable hotbed of multilevel marketing schemes. Women trapped at home keep getting into them. I guess if you're caught up in one, it's easy to buy into another...

They're well known for community support within their group, but the Church itself is an international multi-billion dollar organization and never gives significant aid to members.

Everyone in the church is required to pay 10% of their (pre-tax) earnings directly to the church.

Every young man in the church is required to serve a 2 year, volunteer mission. They have to fund these themselves.

Church leadership is supposedly called by divine revelation, yet somehow they're almost all from the same enclave of families whose roots trace back to the founders of the church.

My youth group leader once tried to tell me that rock music was spiritually bad and instead I should be listening to musicals and opera. Because the lyrical content was more spiritually pure.

They're in the "we are fighting a literal war against the Forces of Evil" category of evangelicals, but it was to my immense disappointment that this did not mean there were any sexy demons around.

If they took their own morals seriously, they'd all be communists.

Not Remotely Funny:

The church has a truly massive endowment, and their fingers are in a lot of corporate and political pies.

When California was voting on gay marriage back on 2008, the church organized a concerted effort of members buying property in the state so they could vote against it.

Seriously, I cannot stress enough to you how much money and influence the church has. They just don't wave it around as much as some groups.

Joe Smith and his successor, Brigham Young, were pedophiles who used their church doctrine to force teenage girls to marry them.

They're one of the groups that believe peace in the Middle East is a harbinger of the apocalypse.

Yes, they really are that racist.

They encourage members to adopt Native children in order to "save them" from the curse of their ancestors.

They have one of the largest genealogical databases in the world, and they mostly use it to perform proxy baptisms on dead people, including massive numbers of holocaust victims.

Their culture normalizes and even valorizes child abuse by men. All of the most respected men in my congregation growing up regularly beat their kids. This was considered normal and even funny.

Abuse and bullying are rampant for young men on missions.

They're also ableist in the weirdest way. They believe that everyone's soul is a "perfected" version of their body, see. Any neurodivergent or mentally disabled people are "normal" souls trapped in defective bodies.

BYU (the church-owned university) has a rampant problem with suicides among queer students.

Utah has one of the highest rates of depression in the country, especially among women.

[threadsun]

Well, let’s expand on our favorite puppy, shall we? And I do mean puppy, see Bo wasn’t born in the town, he literally came from the woods when he was in his late teens. He didn’t speak english back then so the founder basically said “Well, if you don’t want me to keep you, speak up” so he kept him. Bo was feisty when he was first brought “home” he had a muzzle for the longest time, but being so scary helped him do his job, protecting the founder

He probably would have stayed like that if it weren’t for Nick. The founder had looked for anyone who wanted to train his dog for him and Nick was in enough of a bind that he took up the job. Things were rocky at first but everything changed the night Nick snuck Bo out to the border of the woods he came from. He took off his collar and muzzle and nodded to the woods, telling him he could leave if he wanted to. After seeing just how much trust and care Nick had for him he slowly came up to him and licked his cheek, cementing their new friendship

Bo was basically a human-ish looking dog before, but with Nick’s training, Bo started to learn english, and spanish actually. Bo isn’t conversational in spanish but he knows it well enough to know what’s being said to him and curse out anyone he doesn’t like. He chooses not to speak most of the time because he likes being in his puppy space and he feels like talking kinda ruins it

Nick is also the reason Bo can even go into puppy space, though he usually, consensually, brings Bo out of it when they hang out. After all Nick’s hard work, Bo is the goodest boy known to man, he knows all the tricks in the book and, thanks to the propaganda Nick makes for him, loves his master. Bo would do anything for the founder now, and he has. Few people could forget how Bo ripped a guy’s throat out on stage at a public execution

The founder dies from natural causes so Bo just had to sit there and watch his master slowly deteriorate in front of him. He tries everything he can think of, bringing him his favorite toys, curling up at his feet, licking his face, but nothing can stop the march of time. Bo’s there when it happens, and the howl he let out when he passed could be heard through the whole town

After the funeral he just curled up right where he always slept, wishing his master was there to pet him to sleep like he used to. He’s a wreck, only eating when Nick brings him food, and even then he barely touches it. The poor thing looks more like a skeleton than the founder did before he passed, the only thing that can save him is a new purpose, a new master. You

Oh poor thing!! I love him so much, I love the balance between his human side and his dog side, and the bond between him and Nick 🥺 I can imagine how insane he'll be when you show up tho :3c

[andywinter16]

Terror. Madness. Grief. It flashed all through Regis head when they got safely back to Insomnia. Poor Noctis cried the whole time for Luna. Luna and Ravus, he left them in their enemies hands. He sweard to Sylva, that he will get them back. Niflheim would pay for their crimes ! After leaving exhausted Noctis in hands of his caretakers, Regis went alone to the Crystal chamber. To have a word with his ancestors who silently observed their lifes. 

--

Regis ordered everyone to leave. No one understand why, yet who they were to questioned the king´s decision. After that the chamber became cold, it felt even hostile to be alone there with Crystal. Regis  without any pretensions summoned the power of the ring after more than eight years since he lost her, love of his life. He yearned for his Queen so much, for her soothing touch, her breathtaking smile and a raucous laugh. Those joyful memories still hurted when he though about her. You left us too soon, my love. 

--

The kings and queens of Yore showed themselves before the current king. The time itself froze in the moment. A powerful magic was unleashed and Crystal reacted. 

“ Why did you called upon us, child?” said the Founder king strictly on his massive throne. Regis felt so insignificant in their presence. 

Drained Regis spoke to him as politely as he could. “"I wish to speak to my dear wife. She should be here among you as rightful ruler of Insomnia.” He stood there in anticipation, but no one showed up. The kings and queens were silent, until the Rogue queen took pity on him and said. “Young king, her soul is not here among us.”  Regis was shocked. “ Then where is soul of my beloved?”

“ What an insolence, to think a mere mortal could be in our ranks.” the Warrior king said offended, many of the attendees agreeing with him.

Regis narrowed his eyes at the old king. “ Let me remind you o mighty king, that you all were once mortals like myself. And you especifically should know, what it is to lose your loved one.”  One by one Regis looked around and exclaimed coldly. “ I ask you once again rulers of Yore, where is my wife?”  Yet again no answer was given to Regis.

“Perhaps, I can give you the answer, your highness.” a woman emerged out of nowhere before Regis. He fastly drew his sword in defense. The woman came closer unarmed, as Regis noticed. She looked very young perhaps in her early twenties. “ You can´t expect answer from those who Bahamut chained to do his biding, my lord.”The woman looked at him with regret.” A cursed line of Lucis Caelum, to never know rest. You were ripped from my lady´s hands, when she wanted to bestow blessing upon your bloodline, your highness.”  Regis was wary of her, yet something in him told him to listen to this child. “ If only I was stronger, then I could ripped Bahamut apart for his treachery.” the woman clenched her hand into a fist,” Your highness, you want answers that I can give you, my only condition is that you listen to what I have to say.”  Regis briefly thought about it, he didn´t see  harm in it.

“Let´s say young one, that I would accept this proposal. But first tell me, who are you and about what lady you spoke of to?”  curiosite got better of him.

The woman bowed deeply. “ Hope your highness will pardon my rudeness. I am here on behalf my lady, Etro. And as for me, I am her humble servant Andrea, but perhaps  you will be more familiar with a name  Leo.”  mischievous smile played on her full lips. Regis froze in place upon hearing that name. He remembered the ancient books, in his youth, that told about that name: Leo the beast of Etro´s gate and guardian of dead.

[chilakillme]

I just need to vent lots of things regarding the Harry Potter reboot so bear with me

First of all WITH ALL OF THE POTENTIAL STORIES IN THE WIZARDING WORLD THEY DECIDED TO REBOOT THE OG THE WORLDWIDE LOVED ONE???? No marauders? No Hogwarts founders? No Tom Riddle origin story??? Like....how can they expect a random british boy to create the IMPACT Dan Radcliffe's face had on the world....like no. And also the only person of that cast that'll return will be Felton, I just know it.

And also, the movies are RECENT, yeah the first one is 20 years old but 20 years is not long enough to reboot a series that had the IMPACT Harry Potter had, like they still sell LEGOs and cutlery sets with the original actors face at my Walmart and they don't seem like antiques. Think about Indiana Jones or any other iconic character that has only been played by one actor, that's what Harry Potter should be (with exception for the play that most of us ignore) BUT NO THEY WANT A WHOLE NEW CAST

Now, the fact that JKR is going to be super involved and they're going to try to be as loyal to the books as they can is a blessing and a curse because of course having the author in a project like this is something fans love but we're talking about JKR and, she, you know, got herself into some messes recently and...yeah. But also, as much as I would love to see more of things that the og movies skipped and more depth to characters I still love, I can't help but think that it's going to turn into some political agenda (and I know everything is political but I'm talking about blatantly obvious political) or some kind of statement idk. Also, if it's going to be an almost book to screen copy they're going to run into a wall called plot holes and wonky worldbuilding.

As someone who read the books 11 times in a year because they had no friends in elementary school and revisited them constantly until a couple years ago, I can say that the series is full of plot holes and yeah they're going to need to fix that, but also some of the world building is just not done right, many things don't make sense or contradict themselves, and I'm not saying I don't appreciate the world we were given, I loved ot and still do, and I really appreciate the mythology, research and work that went into it but there's a point where some things just get ridiculous. (Examples: the secrecy things with wizards has some big questions to be solved, why are dentists unknown to wizards, do wizards know math or what do they do before hogwarts, the sirius black trial, why are the weasleys poor in the wizarding society, like there's really no sense in that (or at least I think so))

Also JKR should not go anywhere near the script, she wrote the scripts for the first Fantastic Beasts movies and then the third that was a little bit less of a mess had another screenwriter but by that time it was already too late and we all know how that went.

Also, this thing is going to need a gigantic budget but it's going to be a series and we know warner had some troubles or something recently (I don't remember all the details but yk, the discovery situation and them cancelling movies and originals from max). But the thing is that we could be looking at an amazon's lord of the rings situation where the firsts episodes were a success but only 40%-50% of viewers who started the series watched until the finale. And they want to make this a decade long project and I don't know if they're going to make it past season 4 even, but who knows I'm no expert in economics

Overall this shouldn't be happening but...

[snowbatsims]

Pastell Legacy - Sims 4 catchup post

So, a while back, I did a recap post of the old sims 3 side of this legacy, in case I would start posting more stuff on my simblr about that.

And now I think it's time to do it for the sims 4 side of it!

We'll start with the beginnings: Anne and Edda Pastell. (photo from 2017)

They're sisters! While Anne was the founder of my Sims 3 legacy (linked above), I figured it would be fun to say she actually had a sister all along, and just do her side of the legacy in the Sims 4. Because sure, why not.

This side will probably be played somewhat like a really loose not-so-berry, just without the rules. Still doing some color theming on the heirs, subtly or not.

At some point, Edda joined the Avant Gardes. That's where she met Gunther Munch, whom some of you may know already. They got along well, and ended up getting married. probably because they're both nerds

However, it turns out Edda was carrying a curse of some sort. And so, their firstborn baby Rune was born a vampire. His vampiric traits slowly showed up over time, really ramping up with puberty. People are still unsure about the details on how he was like this in the first place, and Rune has no idea either. This is just the way he is.

He ended up moving out - moving in with some vampire friends he met instead. I have posted a bunch of my gameplay with them already.

In fact, they're the reason the actual legacy game stalled for so long. I love these dorks, you see :3 And since they're immortal, we'll still be checking in with them from time to time, mostly in intermissions.

Anyway, onto the rest of this generation!

Next up is Rune's younger redhead brother Snorre. He was a completely normal mortal human, much to the parents' relief. As for how his life went; he married a nice lady and had two pairs of twins! One pair was from an alien abduction, funnily enough. He's also already dead, but his children are still around as adults.

[pictured: snorre's twin pairs - ingrid and inger, saga and sagn]

Then,

Frøya. Also human. Since this legacy was originally intended as a matriarchy, it was the oldest girl who ended up being the heir... well, "girl" in Frøya's case. She's nonbinary; she/they pronouns. They're still alive currently, as an elder, and they have been known to be a bit eccentric. She got married to their husband somewhat unceremoniously at the love festival a while back.

So yep. Three kids in this generation, surely that was enough, right??

NOPE.

After the birth of these three, Gunther somehow got abducted by aliens, and came back with grey alien twins. Their names are Odin and Frigg.

Anyway.

Here, have some old art of the gen 2 siblings, which I drew:

Anyway! Now we're at gen 3.

Frøya and Nobuya had a pair of identical twins: Ravn and Kråke. Which, honestly, is really just Norwegian for Raven and Crow. (my game is in norwegian you see)

Ravn was always the smart kid at school. Kråke was more of a troublemaker. Still, these two are very close and care for each other.

So really, you'd think Ravn would be the heir, but she denounced it and decided to go live her own life with her wife instead. She's very much a lesbian, and the thought of being forced to have a kid is just not in her books. The parents respected that.

Meanwhile, Kråke is a trans man. His situation is not much better, but he was determined to have a kid anyway; after all, who else was going to do it? He was so ready for this... and then, his fiancé suddenly died to a stovefire and Kråke's world shattered to the ground.

He's okay, really, it's fine - no. He's not okay. He must get his beloved Rolf back, no matter what. It's the only thing that matters to him anymore.

Anyway yeah he's kind of a sopping wet cat of a man at the moment. That's our protagonist this generation. Let's go.

Also, since you read all the way to the end, thank you!

Here's a link to the whole family tree while I work on putting a proper graphic together :3

[FAMILY TREE]

[1tarashka1]

I’ve been playing Clangen a lot lately, so here is some lazy sketches of my very edgy Ruinclan

So I won’t explain the Clanmates because I plan to draw them at least seminormal, but I will explain how clan was formed, the first leaders death (the second thingy) and clan founder

!Warning! This will have small desription of deаths of cats and about a plаgue so

This is propably very cringey and not accurate. I haven’t been in this fandom for around ten years or so. Also english is not my first language, sorry for all of the mistakes

So Ruinclan has started as a rescue mission of sort. Cats were running from the great plague that killed almost everyone in their previous clan. So small group of survived cats was sent away to start a new clan. Thats were clan founder comes in. Alderfern (she-cat) decided to show up as a ghost and show them a place were her clan died as a new place for their clan. Cats thought that she was joking when she said that her whole clan died because of a curse. This was propably not a joke (most of my cats died just been one moon in clan). Cats decided to call themself a Ruinclan because they started at the ruins (ye very smart me)

So the first leader was Tulipstar (tom). He was very wise and got buried alive by colapsing burrow at 154 moons of age on the second moon of the clan. Alderfern wasn’t very impressed.

Also addressing the eye in the middle of the leaders cats head. I know that there were no such thing in Warrior cats, but I mean, there are cats that are getting 9 lives and technically become immortal(ageles???) in this books(or at least in the game, I can’t quite remember the books), so why not an eye in the middle of the head to show that

[bytheletterbookreviews]

The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling @LadyHawkins @eternal_books

Book Description: ‘You broke my heart, Rhys Penhallow. And we curse you. You and your whole stupid, hot line.’Vivienne Jones handled the biggest break-up of her life the way that any witch would: vodka, bubble baths, and a curse on her ex.That was nine years ago. Now Rhys Penhallow, descendant of the town’s founders, breaker of hearts and still irritatingly gorgeous, is back. Rhys has returned…

[malimothreads64]

📜Blood Over Bright Haven by M. L. Wang📜

Genre: Adult Fantasy/Dark Academia

Series Status: Standalone

BLOOD Over Bright Haven, indeed. I have no idea how I want to start this because I don't think I've read a book covering such a complex but important topic that I actually have a bit of a grasp on. I don't feel like I have the capabilities to talk about this in any real capacity, but I'm going to try which means spoilers. So;

When you read the blurb of this and start the book and meet Sciona, you feel like this is just going to be a story about misogyny in academia through a fantasy lense, but it is so not even about misogyny. I made that mistake myself because I only read this because I got my friend it for Christmas on that assumption, too, and she loved it so much I've now read it not a week and a half later. This book is about a society that's built on atrocity for it to function, not unlike "the West." It's about radicalisation. It's about doing the work it takes to dismantle systems, even when it comes at great personal loss because it is what's right.

Sciona is the first woman to pass the test to become a Highmage in Bright Haven since it's believed women don't have the right disposition to be able to handle the work. She's accepted but not respected. One of the first interactions she has with her new colleagues is finding out that she's not been assigned a research assistant, so as a joke, one of the men whose father is an Archmage and didn't just get in on sheer merit asssigns the janitor as her assistant. More than that, though, the janitor is Kwen, which are second-class citizens and are treated as literally sub-human because of this world's religious dogma. Which, something I appreciate about this book, is that Sciona is no different. The majority of all the racist and mirco-agressive things that are said in the first half of this book are said by Sciona herself!

She develops a rapport and comradery with the janitor, Thomil, who is a quick study and is genuinely a good assistant, but where the story really starts to change directions is just before the halfway mark. it's revealed that the magic that's used to power the city, the magic that Sciona herself has reveared and studied her whole life works by killing the Kwen. While everyone is safe in the city, anyone outside it is fair game for siphoning. This realisation obviously causes a rift between Sciona and Thomil because he has just learned that his people have been getting slaughter, while Sciona wants to hold on to delusion and even implies his people deserve becasue of what she was rasied to believe.

This is Sciona's awakening to the system and how it works, but still wanting to have faith in it goes to her mentor, and he basically confirms that everyone who works there knows - and they don't care. Which is what they mean about women not having the constitution for the work. The implications there being that men are psychopaths. With this comes her true radicalisation, and from there, works to try and bring to light how their society truly is run.

Obviously, that's a very basic overview. but this book genuinely has so much. This very much is the story of having to tear everything down to be able to start again, and so much of this book is easily inspired by real-world events. Founder Leon stealing the magic used in this society from the Kwen is very similar to stories of Native Americans being very forth coming with english colonisers about the land and how to live off it for their kindness to be returned with genocide. How Leon then turned this theft into religious dogma that people to this day never question reminds me of Joseph Smith with mormonism. Who also referenced Native Americans in his holy text, and when they didn't want to convert, were slaughtered, not unlike how people in this say Kwen deserve their treatment cause 300 years ago they turned their back on God and that's why they're cursed with the Blight (when the blight is in fact the Highmage's magic).

Other more political things are, even after the truth is revealed, some people don't care or are willing to look away for the sake of their own comfort or privilege. Like the West with Free Congo. These people are dying mining the materials we need to create the technology that makes our lives easier, and that movement didn't blow up nearly as much as Free Palestine did. Both are extremely important, but of course, the one about the Black people, the one where the boycott would involve not getting the new iPhone when it came out, fell to the wayside.

As well as the hard truth of the matter: what it takes to incite change? There's a reason Sciona is the main character and not Thomil because no one was ever going to listen to or take a Kwen seriously. She had access way more than he did, even despite the misogyny she faced because she was the right type of person, and for Sciona to even create change still involved great personal sacrifice! The love of her family, but also her life! That's how much it meant to her to right this egregious wrong.

This will probably end up being my favourite book I read this month because I don't see anything topping it.