#The Empty Bowl

[boydykedevo]

I remembered this post I made a while ago and now I’m curious so

(I can’t stop you, but I’d ask you not answer if you don’t listen to any McElroy shows!)

[wheelie-butch]

can I just say, I love the nanofather. I will never get tired of the nanofather. I believe there is deep and inscrutable lore to the nanofather. I believe Justin when he says he's hearing this stuff for the first time. I hope the nanofather continues even after Steeplechase finishes. I want the nanofather in mbmbam AND the empty bowl.

[mcelquotes]

Take me down to crunch time city, where the grass is cereal and the girls are... also cereal.

Justin McElroy

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Listening to The Empty Bowl (a lesser known McElroy podcast) and I was absolutely blasted away when Justin gave actual actionable advice for a question.

[erksome]

✨late night cereal✨

(on Redbubble)

[queerforscience]

When you get to the end of The Empty Bowl episode you're listening to while trying to go to sleep but you're still awake

[haveyouheardthispodcast]

[jacksgreysays]

Went on a quest for frosted lemon cheerios, decided to write a little silly ASMR monologue to send in to The Empty Bowl podcast:

Hello Dan, Justin, and my fellow sailors of the vast, milky sea. My name is Sofia and I’d like to tell you about my harrowing quest for gold and glory: ie, the limited edition frosted lemon cheerios.

To set the scene, I currently live in northern California and in the way of many Californians I do not often grocery shop—or, at least, not at stores that carry American cereals. Several episodes ago, Dan expounded on the merits of the limited edition frosted lemon cheerios with such enthusiasm even in ASMR tones that I knew I had to try it. With that, and my own life long obsession with lemon flavored foods, I began my search.

Like any fool at the start of their journey, I underestimated the trials and tribulations I would go through:

The first grocery store I tried, Safeway, I arrogantly assumed would have the treasure I sought. But when I went to the cereal aisle, I did not find it. Classic, frosted, apple cinnamon, very berry, chocolate strawberry, strawberry banana, all of these were present, but no frosted lemon—not even an empty gap in the shelves to show that Safeway even stocked it. Disheartened, I left, but the siren call would haunt my dreams.

A few days later, I tried another grocery store, Lucky’s. Despite its name, this again ended in failure. A few days after that, I tried Target thinking, perhaps, it’s a matter of regionality—that the far reach of Target would guarantee the presence of that which I sought.

And again, failure.

Possesssed, I researched online for more details on my white whale—I even considered buying from Amazon, but at thirteen dollars a box plus shipping, I would not make that deal with the devil. And so I followed the trail of clues: I knew definitively it had been released at Kroger’s but there are no Kroger’s in my area. I knew there was a connection between Kroger’s and Ralph’s, but when I searched for a Ralph’s in my area the only hint of it was a former Ralph’s that had been replaced by a Walmart. In desperation, I went.

For a fourth time, failure.

I considered: would I have to live my life absent of frosted lemon cheerios or would I have to sell my soul and give in to Jeff’s foul domination of e-commerce?

This dilemma tormented me until I remembered: for Mother’s Day I would be traveling to southern California with its own set of regional grocery stores.

And so I went to the land where Ralph’s still existed, and as if a sign from the cereal gods themselves, when I walked through those sliding doors the cereal aisle was directly in front of me. In the cheerios section I was again presented with the same varieties as before, but there was a strange gap in the shelves above my eye line. Straining, I saw it: a single box of frosted lemon cheerios stood. Finally, my quest was complete.

But then, as if to reward me for my perseverance, a second box was revealed. However, with it a final test: it was placed so deep into the shelf, it was out of reach. Thankfully, my sister, taller and thus with a longer wingspan was also present, but even she had to use another box of cereal to knock it down enough to be within her grasp.

And so, riding the high of success, I bought three boxes of cereal that day: the two boxes of frosted lemon cheerios and the one box we used to reach them which was, thankfully, blueberry cheerios and which I hope will be a good mix in for those good, good complementary flavors.

After having consumed an entire box of frosted lemon cheerios, I can confirm that all the heartbreak and effort was worth it.

[atdawn]

MERLIN | 5.07 A Lesson in Vengeance

[thepeacefulgarden]

[m-a-k-k-u]

Snow beans

[streetmatt]

Empty bowl.

By Matti Merilaid.

[mcelquotes]

I'm old enough to remember when the Baptists invented puppy chow!

Justin McElroy

[diabolicjoy]

something about the way a parent can destroy something you made (or own), and then feel so bashful about it that they avoid making a big deal out of it. am i supposed to say that it’s ok and not cry…

[ampleappleamble]

neko atsume: oh hey hiiiiiiii welcome back! just so you know, The Cat Who Shows Up Once A Month For Three Seconds At A Time was here, but you missed it. sorry. tee hee

me: aw nuts, must have been while i was bathing my child or paying my credit card bill or slaying that dragon or being fired off into outer space on that extremely important alien world diplomatic mission or something. oh well, i guess i'll just have to try to be more vigilant. anyway here you go kitties, more yummy expensive food ♡

neko atsume: tubbs ate all the food .000007 seconds after you set it out. tee hee

me: aw nuts

[realtapiocafan]

🥺 i just let out the softest whimper