#The Blue Sweater™

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

1x3 | The Balloonman

❤️ Home Sweet Home ❤️

Will never get over how great Oswald looks in The Blue Sweater™, which he acquired from the frat bro he unsuccessfully attempted to ransom and most definitely killed immediately after that phone call

💅🏻Just (future) King things 💅🏻

[violettwrites]

trailerpark!daryl headcanons

a/n: this includes both sfw & nsfw ( below the cut ) headcanons for tp!daryl

if you enjoy my stuff, please don’t forget to like, reblog, and/or comment ! here you can find my masterlist, and my ask box is open for requests !

warnings: there is mentions of abuse, and weed in this post, also nsfw content. please proceeded with caution 🫶🏻

resources: divider by @adornedwithlight

sfw tp!daryl dixon headcanons.

➵ tp!daryl dixon is very much different to his older brother. quieter, less annoying, but overall just nicer. he is extremely loyal, & protective.

➵ he is extremely self sufficient. being left home alone for days on end helped him build his resilience.

➵ he has a soft spot for stray animals. the amount of times he has found a tiny stray kitten and wanted to bring it home is countless, but he knew his father would not be happy with him.

➵ he’s surprisingly very good at drawing. he often likes to sketch scenes of his surroundings, wherever he may be. that may include the creek you and him spend a lot of time together at, the silver dome arena where countless concerts he’s snuck into have played, or even just random doodles.

➵ he loves heavy metal and rock music. his favourite bands are motörhead, slayer, iron maiden, metallica— just to name a few. he gets his taste in music from merle.

➵ he is not much of a talker, but he is definitely a listener. he will listen to you rant and ramble for hours on end, often just replying with a nod of his head or a mhm, but you know he’s always taking it in.

➵ he often wears long sleeves & sweaters to hide the bruises and scars on his body from his father. it’s harder when he ends up with a black eye, but he just plays it off as him and merle roughhousing.

➵ the first time he ever smoked weed was with you, and merle, in one of the old broken down cars at the trailer park. merle and daryl sat in the front and you in the back, dutching out the old chevy with the smoke.

➵ he didn’t like going to school, often skipping classes or just not showing up at all. but you can bet he was always there to walk you home at the end of the day.

➵ he can often be extremely withdrawn, isolating himself several times a week. it’s never personal towards you, but you’ll often notice he’s been missing for a few hours. you can usually find him down at the creek, in the woods behind the trailer park, or even on top of his trailer sometimes.

➵ because he’s too broke for concert tickets, he’s snuck into concerts so many times.

➵ he’s had a crush on you since he knew what crushes were, really. merle constantly teased him for looking at you like a lost puppy, urging him to make a move. but he’s too shy for that, and he didn’t like the idea of possibly ruining your friendship.

➵ overall, he’s your best friend. you trust him with your entire life, and you couldn’t ask for anyone better.

nsfw tp!daryl dixon headcanons.

➵ big switch energy !

➵ when he’s topping, he’s rough with you, but always makes sure you’re okay. he’ll press your thighs to your chest while he fucks you, or he’ll pull your hair from behind. the rings on his fingers also add to the pleasure when he spanks you.

➵ when he’s subbing, he’s a whiny, begging mess. he’ll grip at your thighs or ass, looking up at you with big blue eyes while he begs for you to keep going.

➵ the first few times you two fucked, he kept his shirt on. he was too nervous to take it off, but you never pushed him. slowly he became more comfortable and now it’s one of the first things he’s ripping off.

➵ aftercare king ! not that there’s much he can do without possibly outing himself to merle or his father of his activities, he’ll always make sure you’re okay— wether that be just getting you a glass of water and snuggling with you after, or kissing every inch of your body.

➵ certified pussy eater™. he’d go down on you for hours if he could.

➵ if he had to choose between ass and tits, he’s definitely an ass man. he loves grabbing handfuls of the flesh, especially when you’re riding him or he’s fucking you from behind.

➵ loves leaving hickeys in place only you and him can see.

➵ loves to hear you moan but also loves to shove his fingers in your mouth to shut you up when you’re being a bit too loud.

[sidekickjoey]

RIP Eddie Munson, you would've loved how FINE™ Steve Harrington looked in this blue button-up sweater shirt

[starsofarda]

Christmas with the Feanorians

I would like to thank @erendur for giving me enough rope for my shenanigans.

Tolkien, ILU but sometimes I need to take everything less seriously.

Of course TIS THE SEASON and I am in my transformation in a Christmas Elf, whilst my SO is becoming the Grinch.

Anyway, possible modern AU, the Feanorians and Christmas, stemming directly from this post.

So, we know how Feanor could be ©Extra™, but what would he be like during the Christmas holidays in a modern AU? Well, LOOK NO FURTHER.

I am basically copypasting my brainstorming session and expanding on it.

Unfortunately Feanor is a "go big or go home" guy when it comes to decorating for Xmas, figure the outside plastered in luminous deers, trees, elves, santas and all the works. You can spot his house from at least two miles afar. He will dress up as Santa*, show up with like all sorts of trinkets, hand-write "Santa's response letters" to his children. The inside of his house is cobered in holly decorations, Yule logs, xmas trees, xmas music all over the place. the guy is extra.

*or Father Christmas, your choice, regardless of who he dresses like he's gonna look like Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, he is very tall, very lanky and he's not gonna be a fat old man delivering gifts.

this also prompts several arguments over the xmas dinner with Fingolfin, cue Finarfin trying to be the peacemaker, all the "not in front of the kids", the "language" and all. In the meantime every single one of the kids, regardless of who's the father, is a different flavour of terror. Nerdanel is with her SILs and nieces, at a certain point Aredhel just starts a treasure hunt with Celegorm and his dog Huan. It's chaos. Maedhros is with Fingon and maybe Maglor, if Maglor and Finrod are not playing Guitar Hero. And so on. Also did someone mention "ugly sweaters"? Yep. All of them lovingly crafted by grandma Miriel (in this AU she is alive, just very divorced from Finwe, but alive). Grandma Indis supplies the wreaths. Grandpa Finwe is sitting by the porch and enjoying some eggnog.

All is good. Feanor and Fingolfin will keep arguing till the end of time. As it was pointed out, this definitely looks like National Lampoon's Christmas holiday.

Now, some clarifications.

THE ELVES They are indeed Feanor's apprentices dressed as Father Christmas's elves. They take turns. They are low key enjoying the attention. Speaking of. I rectify myself, it's not Santa, but Father Christmas and his assistant polar bear - reference to Tolkien's "Letters from Father Christmas". I know Tolkien would have hated it, but this is a modern au. Whatever floats my boat. As for the ugly jumpers: Ofc Feanor has the Silmarils surrounded by snowflakes, deers and red robins. His jumper is red. Maedhros has got a green one with winter gnomes and a "happy yuletide" in elegant lettering. Fingon has a blue one with an icy mountain and penguins with silver scarves and hats.

So. The apprentices don't really mind being hired as Christmas Elves, Feanor pays well and it's all fun and games. They basically get to be up to any shenanigans they can conjure up, because in Feanor's forge not only he is Extra, but his apprentices are the Least Chill on Arda. They will cause problems on purpose, only rule is "be nice to the children" and "don't damage property in a significant way", but everything else is game. They get to dress in fun outfits as a plus.

Miriel and Indis are both there, mostly ignoring Finwe and doting on their daughters in law.

As for the jumpers.

Grandma Miriel lovingly embroidered and knitted them all. Any bad look has been met by Feanor's death glare of "accept my beloved mother's gift or die painfully" and every year they are a must have, especially if the party is at Feanor's house.

So far this is what I have.

Ofc Feanor has the Silmarils surrounded by snowflakes, deers and red robins. His jumper is red. Maedhros has got a green one with winter gnomes and a "happy yuletide" in elegant lettering. Fingon has a blue one with an icy mountain and penguins with silver scarves and hats. Also if Mae has a green one with gnomes, then I envision Fingon with the same but in yellow/golden, but do feel free to envision whatever :p Celegorm has one with like a poodle with a christmas hat and scarf, the poodle looking very much like Huan. Maglor has one with like hollys and singing red robins. Caranthir has one with xmas trees all over. A&A have matching ones, both with snowmen wearing sunglasses and like a cheeky line. Curufin has one designed to show the jacket of a xmas elf and celebrimbor has one with the design of the ribbon of a xmas present.

There will be more as soon as I think of something else.

[s0dabeach]

did one for Stan so of course I gotta do one for Ford

(reblogging for larger sample size is appreciated)

[iolite-moodboards]

scooby gang vibes

things i associate with the scooby gang!!

requests for these are open if you're interested!

fred jones~♡

diners in the middle of nowhere

late-night drives to think

coffee with cream and sugar

butterscotch

his playlist is either motivational 80s or 2000s music

saturday morning cartoons

diner pancakes

fresh, clean smell

geo guesser

lends his jacket if someone is cold

early mornings

always buying new accessories (steering wheel covers, fuzzy dice, little pine trees) for the mystery machine

attempting to read a map while driving

blue jeans

history books

interviewing priests for answers about hauntings in the area

camping

forgets to drink water

messy bedroom

daphne blake~♡

aliens and anything outer space

iced matcha

fun cereal

scrunchies

always offering to pay

binge watching tv

going to the planetarium

girly music

boxing

sneaking in past curfew

peaches

freckles

dragging friends out to stargaze

sheet masks

strawberry ice cream

taking notes with glitter gel pens

conspiracy theories

grwm tiktoks filmed in the back of the mystery machine

pinkpantheress

almond nails

velma dinkley~♡

library trips

hydro flasks

pasta

conspiracy theories pt 2

mothman

freshly brewed coffee

ballpoint pens

falling asleep on the bus

staying up until 4am reading

oversized sweaters

rock collection

digging on reddit to find their next cryptid spot

cinnamon

sunscreen always in her bag

jack stauber

lip oil

doodling stars in her notebook

sitting by the coast

gummy worms

charcoal stained fingers

shaggy rogers~♡

pizza

indie music

skating

beanies

naps

cd collection

stopping for snacks at shady convenience stores

track

skipping stones

keychains

bubble gum

an old mp3 player he won't get rid of

plants in his room

baja blast

rocky road ice cream

stealing daph's sunglasses

afraid of the dark

french fries

always smells both like he just got done grilling and like dog

superstitious

scooby-doo~♡

fancy dog shampoo (literally titled "le ham")

loves going to the beach

fetch

stealing the gang's french fries

sleeping in the back of the mystery machine

oreos

Big Stretch™

unreliable guard dog but he tries his best

hiding behind shaggy

scooby snacks

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

Hey i was reading the bisexual cars post [ed: as one does] and i have a question What the fuck is up with the shift in the V6 clio?

I mean, the whole front console looks just like my clio's (except the wheel bc mine is newer and pointy instead of round) until the air controls in the center. And then BOOM, ugliest shift i've ever seen in a sportscar

Here's a closeup for the benefit of the viewing audience:

So, we have the shift knob itself on the top, and below it what I assume is the reverse lockout collar (for the unaware, while in some cars you need to push the shifter down to engage reverse, others lock you out of it with a little collar under the shift knob you are to pull up). Under those there is an alcantara shift boot - or should I say Alcantara, since it's the brand name of the material sold by Alcantara S.p.A., Italian company producing it since the 70s. That's right, they pulled a Velcro™ on ya. Under all that, the console itself, whose poor shot at a nicer finish makes it clash with the rest of the interior and whose need to place the shifter high enough to be reachable results in it looking like it was placed on an upside down bowl. So much so that I assumed the console was actually what OP found so unsightly. But a check with him contradicted me - he really was referring to shifter and boot.

I think I can see why. Now, an Alcantara®™ shift boot and a polished spherical shift knob is not an uncommon arrangement for sporty cars.

But as you can see, usually shift boots have much more of a pyramidal shape to them with any sagging or bunching being at the bottom - seen especially clearly in the mr__grip shift boot I got my very own Golf (and yes, I got the shift knob to match the boot to boot :D)

As you can see, shift boots usually taper no a very narrow top, sometimes not even getting to the shift knob and leaving part of the shift rod exposed, as seen to a bit of an exaggerated extent in my application.

[Wanna know how bad my shifter needs an overhaul? That's not neutral, that's first.]

Whereas in the Clio V6, when the boot gets to the collar, there's still so much boot left that it just bunches up around it, which combines with the collar and the knob's unflattering lower crease to create the impression that someone put a warm sweater on an old lamp post.

But hey, it could always be worse. Check out the Mercedes Sprinter.

Oh, right. This isn't the Tumblr of old.

There.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

Random Bi-Han Headcanons MK1

this man has consumed my thoughts omfg i tried to fight it why am i always shocked when this happens

anyway, here's like a random selection of headcanons i have about this little bitch

warnings: none. my tomfoolery. bi-han being a gay loser.

bi-han x black biracial reader (gn)

he nearly cried when kung lao sliced him with that round blade (he did). boy was legit so upset and surprised he managed to get that blow in despite him being GRANDMASTER and kung lao being INCOMPETENT. picture that scrunch face you make when you trying not to cry and you keep blinking and your eyes burning- that's what he did (canon event)

he is the definition of Mean and Angry Bisexual™. boy is what i like to call a homophobic homosexual. he notices a hot dude or nonbinary person and immediately looks away and says via voice over "no. that is gay."

saw this on another random bi-han headcanon post and i absolutely agree: bi-han loves women of color. i think he primarily dates woc too hehe. let's say hypothetically he hates white people because of tomas. i didn't say that you did. we love tomas in this house btw. and like that same headcanon post; he has a preference for black and black biracial folks. i do not take criticism hehe. this is canon and a fact (he's dating me after all)

absolutely loves when you wear your hair naturally, in any style, he loves when you embrace your culture and family history. he'd never mention or talk about your hair to you, as it seems rude and disrespectful to him, but he thinks it. and he also thinks whenever you wear your hair in a full afro, he's never seen anyone so beautiful. each and every time it astounds him that he's still awestruck.

big cuddler. idc what anyone says, he loves to cuddle. he's literally the most clingy lil guy. after finally finding his person and being able to be vulnerable for the first time since his mother died, he just melts, and becomes inseparable from you. after a hard day, or when he's enraged (a rare occurrence), nothing calms his mind down or relaxes his tense muscles like wrapping an arm around you and pulling you flush to him, your back to him as you sleep soundly. he listens to your soft breathing (or snoring lets be real) and tries to calm himself from the day's frustrations. if you awaken from his entrance, and unsurprising cuddles, you'll touch his hand and squeeze, snuggling closer to him -as if he's not already melted into your skin- and smile as he kisses your jawline and the back of your neck. most of the time, you'll turn over to him, his arm not removing from your waist, and grab his face, kissing his face and lips. the two of you will remain as close, foreheads resting against the other, sometimes talking, sometimes enjoying the sweet silence until you both fall asleep.

like so many others have stated; he was way closer with his mother than his father. when he was a child, being around her was the only time he could actually put his guard down, and be vulnerable. she would protect him. spending time with his mother, were some of the few times he would laugh or smile, as she told him funny stories from her childhood, or tickle him to get a confession out of him, if he'd been the one to steal the last cookie. she was his everything. his closest person. his best friend besides his brothers. and her death broke him. he closed off even more than he already did, vowing never to let anyone besides his mother see his unguarded side. but if he was being honest -and not constantly pushing the thought from his mind- he broke down the night she died, sobbing uncontrollably alone in his room as he clung to the soft baby blue sweater she always wore.

I don't care what anyone says, I don't care what we see in the game or if official heights come out... bi-han is s h o r t. my headcanon is 5'9. that may seem short for him but he just radiates 5'9 energy i do not take criticism. my man is stout so it only makes sense that he a short king.

bi-han used to be inseparable from his brothers when they were kids, their father taking in tomas at such a young age, bi-han always remembers him being there. there isn't a single memory from his childhood that both his brothers aren't in. he'd never tell either kuai liang or tomas, but he cherishes those memories of when they were kids, when they'd play outside every single day, look for creepy and interesting bugs, practice combat, aka, someone ended up with a black eye and sobbing. whenever those memories pop into his head, his permanent frown softens a bit, though he tries not to let anything show on his face. part of him does wish he could be close to them like they were as kids, but he's too stubborn and full of himself to actually try and repair the relationship he's mostly stilted over the years.

~~~~~~~

just a few super random headcanons of my babygirl. may come back to some of these or write another part if i think of more. feel free to add onto these i crave bi-han headcanons!!!!!!!

[feathereddragonkin]

Things that ease my species dysphoria:

As a Dragonkin🪶

1) Using an elytra in creative Minecraft. It mimics the feeling of flying so perfectly for my kintype; I sometimes just glide around without actually building anything lol.

2) Eating homemade jerky. Gives me the crunch I crave™. I love the feeling of tearing into meat, it's so satisfying.

3) Vocals! I love making little chirps and warbles, it makes me feel connected to my kintype like nothing else.

4) Moving my ears. I recommend learning how to do this, it really mimics the feeling of bigger ears well. The best way I can explain it is raising your brows and squeezing the muscles at the back of your scalp, idk. It's instinctive; I've done it since childhood.

As a Tiger otherhearted 🐯

1) "Hunting" my stuffed animals! I can practice hiding in the shadows and pouncing. I wish I had more big cat friends to play with tho...

2) Watching videos of tigers! I love copying the sounds they make and imagining myself playing with them!

3) Wearing orange clothes. Wearing colors similar to my kintype make me feel closer to it. Someday I wanna get a striped sweater!

4) Napping in my nest, I have a bunch of fake foliage around that makes it nice and cozy.

As an Australian shepherd therian🐶

1) Watching funny dog videos! It's so funny to see what shenanigans doggos get up to!

2) Wearing my bandana. I have a yellow bandana that I love wearing, it makes me feel like a silly pupper!

3) Going for car rides! I love love love car rides! And walks, I just wish my hips didn't get so sore TwT...

4) Taking care of people, especially children. Reminds me of looking after sheep💛

As a lion otherkin🦁

1) Like tigerkin, hunting my stuffed animals.

2) Vocals! Roars and growls, and occasional purrs.

3) Giving people big hugs, like those videos of lions tackling humans in a hug. I just love hugs!

4) Watching lion documentaries. Sometimes I get too excited when it shows the pride hunting tho, lol.

As a Ratchet fictionkin 🚐

1) Looking after people; making sure they're safe and helping them when they're not feeling well.

2) Drinking/eating blue things. It reminds me of energon. Sometimes green if I'm feeling quirky 🤭

3) Going for drives to feel like I'm in my alt mode. Can't do it a lot because my pesky van needs gas which requires human money, but whatever.

4) Listening to tfp ambience videos. It reminds me of home. TvT

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

kinktober #28

Plagued 🐀 / Movie(/TV) Star 🎥

echo is back from hiatus @athl0chunk  is it just me or is does ben get bigger with every season of bake-off | trella 💃 @howlatthemoonpie i think its every episode at this point lol

til-u-wobble 🔁 shhhyoudidntseeme

[Two images of Bake-Off judges Ben Kenobi and Satine Kryze on set in the iconic tent. The first image is several years old; the tent’s pastel banners indicate that it’s from the first series. Here, Ben and Satine both smile as they pose in front of a baking station. Satine is a tall, slender white woman with a wavy blonde updo who is wearing a dark teal dress and jade jewellery. Ben, a white man whose dark blonde hair and beard verge on ginger, is slightly taller and wears fitted dark jeans and a charcoal-grey sweater with a blue chambray collar popping out at the neckline. He is slender but for a slight paunch around his middle. In the second image, they stand in a similar pose, though this time they’re smiling at each other, rather than the camera. Satine looks largely the same, while Ben is much, much heavier. His smile emphasises his round cheeks, and his double chin is just visible beneath his beard. He wears a dark green sweater and his jeans are of a similar wash to the first picture. His clothes fit him well and don’t attempt to hide his plump belly and thick hips. One chubby arm rests around Satine’s shoulders. He’s too round for his other arm to sit flat against his side. The purple of Satine’s dress is just visible behind Ben’s bulk, as if she has her hand in his back pocket.]

#omg he got enormous 😍 #you’re so fat (affectionate) but to ben kenobi specifically

3,240 notes 

cheezitenjoyer 🔁 plumpeachpear

plumpeachpear:

SWISS ROLLS …….. ben walks into the tent looking like THAT and they’re going to look these 12 innocent people in the eye and tell them to make SWISS ROLLS???

#oh amidala we’re really in it now

59 notes

unduly persecuted for my correct opinions @lumixnara well i WAS going to have a nice evening watching bakeoff with mum but NOW i guess i will have to walk into the sea ….!

—

kallie 💖💛💙  @springform_pan  putting this out there now: the ship name for ben and satine should be #cremepatandchill | Rafa Martez @cheetochopsticks  omfg yes

h/c dumpster denizen 🌈 @bikewheels2thicc  i can’t believe Anakin hasn’t made a Big Ben joke yet?? low hanging fruit and he DUCKED

norra 👽 @ignorra_me  not me learning to bake so my man will look like that 😩

Roo Page @pageroo  omg they are sooooo married #cremepatandchill | Roo Page @pageroo  the bickering!!! the Looks!!! @bakeoff my little banter-loving heart is so happy #bakeoff🧁 | Roo Page @pageroo omg and it turns into a little cupcake when you use the hashtag 😭 ADORABLE

sinning📍super hell @my_assive_mass  ok i cannot be the only one thirsting over ben kenobi’s tight shirts tho … that popped button has me WET | sinning📍super hell @my_assive_mass  yes i logged into my horny alt to tweet this WHAT OF IT

✨ Sugi ✨ @SoSugiSays  i just want ben kenobi to raw me while i shove pastries into his mouth is that too much to ask | ✨ Sugi ✨ @SoSugiSays  cannot express how deeply i hope that they never make ben kenobi do one of those reading thirst tweets interviews bc the things i have twote about that man … i am not seeing heaven … | farrah @my_onaconda_dont  NO because i just know he would get so red and flustered :>

time-to-size-up ​​🔁 stretchmarks-r-us

[An image of Barriss Offee standing at her Bake-Off station. She is wearing a white T-shirt, a light brown apron, and a black hijab. She is squinting at the sheet of paper holding the technical challenge instructions, which she is holding less than a centimetre from her face.]

#me and the girls analyzing every gifset of ben kenobi for The Jiggle™ 

233 notes

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Dr. Pudge @bibfortuna normal people at 2am: sleeping me at 2am: so you can actually tell that he’s gaining weight during the season by looking at how in s5e1, his sweater is smooth/unrumpled, but by s5e6 there’s a lump over his belly where the button has come undone under his sweater. in this essay i w

borkus (derogatory) @jaspermcknives  ben kenobi looks like he eats all the bakes himself and honestly i love that for him. we stan a fat king

kiera 🦢 @dimple_simp  OH MY GOD DID HE BURST A BUTTON ASFJDLASFLKJFA;S | thot cross buns @karinathegreat  look at satine lOOK AT SATINE

peli @pelicantweet yeah i’m into GBBO G ben’s Gut B ursting B uttons O ff

vintage lesbian @kallmeklaya oh satine is not beating the little freak allegations this week

—

Fat Bucky Truther @letta_turmond oh that chair is a choice he is STRUGGLING … 😳🥵 ben my man it is time to size up

poggle the lesser @pillsburythighrolls  SO THEY??? CHOSE??? NOT TO EDIT THIS OUT??!!? LIKE?!?! THIS IS NOT LIVE TV?!?!?! | jinx 🏳️‍⚧️ (xe/xir) @peach_gobbler  they did that for us 😭😔✊ | poggle the lesser @pillsburythighrolls THANK U POST TEAM WE ARE EATING TODAY | jinx 🏳️‍⚧️ (xe/xir) @peach_gobbler  yeah and SO IS HE

Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos  the bake-off chair thing isn’t funny, it’s fatphobic. if your show is backed by a massive international streaming giant, you have no business not providing your stars with furniture they can safely and comfortably use, never mind FIT IN. 🧵 1/?

eleni @vanillaxxxxtract  a short recap of tonight’s bake-off episode 🙈: 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♂️🖋🍩👩🏾‍🍳📏🥐👨🏼‍🍳🎪🥮🧑🏽‍🍳👱🏻‍♀️👨🏻‍🦰🪑💥🙇🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♂️🌟👩🏾‍🍳😅😰😱😳🤯🥵😵 | eleni @vanillaxxxxtract  yes the end of that is me having a horny meltdown what about it you can’t stop me from living + livetweeting my extremely trashy truth

thelovehandlehandler 🔁 slurpin-and-glurpin

ratsummer:

satine. bestie. i love you and i need you to know from the bottom of my heart that everyone watching bbc2 rn knows exactly what your kinks are

#EVERYONE WATCHING BBC2!?! EVERYONE WITH NETFLIX GIRLIE #WE CAN ALL SEE YOU!!!

520 notes

korkie @korkryze guys can you please make it through ONE episode of bakeoff without getting weird about my aunt

— 

jedi mind trix [she/they] @beatrixbaking omg they literally got him like a giant reinforced chair holy shit  | siri @hey_siri AND HE’S STILL OVERFLOWING IT

projectguttenberg 🔁burpsmakemeblush

onlyalittlevanilla:

Ok but I actually do want to talk about Ben Kenobi from GBBO bc I think it’s cool that they don’t really treat/shoot/talk about him differently even though he’s gained weight. I can count on one hand the number of fat people I’ve seen on TV who tick all of the “actually fat not just Hollywood fat,” “well-dressed and respected and not treated as a slob,” and “considered to be at least generally handsome by the narrative” boxes at once. And it’s so refreshing to (a) see a celebrity chef who actually looks like they eat/enjoy food and (b) see a fat person get to talk about and eat and enjoy food on TV without it being stigmatized somehow! If I had to guess I’d put him around 350-ish lbs (~158 kg or 25 st for my non-USAmerican followers) and that just feels REVOLUTIONARY for mainstream TV! If he were in a sitcom he would get pigeonholed into some stupid weight loss storyline like that poor beautiful girl from that other show and here in the tent he just gets to be an expert in his craft and have insane chemistry with his costar who obviously thinks he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread and I LOVE IT. 

#YEAH LIKE #im gonna need whoevers running bakeoff right now to start doing every other genre of television #put fat people in everything and LET THEM BE HOT

5,391 notes

doublechinsforthewin 🔁projectguttenberg

onlyalittlevanilla:

Ok but I actually do want to talk about Ben Kenobi from GBBO bc I think it’s cool that they don’t really treat/shoot/talk about him differently even though he’s gained weight. I can count on one hand the number of fat people I’ve seen on TV who tick all of the “actually fat not just Hollywood fat,” “well-dressed and respected and not treated as a slob,” and “considered to be at least generally handsome by the narrative” boxes at once. If I had to guess I’d put him around 350-ish lbs (~158 kg or 25 st for my non-USAmerican followers) and that just feels REVOLUTIONARY for mainstream TV! If he were in a sitcom he would get pigeonholed into some stupid weight loss storyline like that poor beautiful girl from that other show and here in the tent he just gets to be an expert in his craft and have insane chemistry with his costar who obviously thinks he’s the hottest thing since sliced bread and I LOVE IT. 

doublechinsforthewin:

NOT TO MENTION that how refreshing it is to (a) see a celebrity chef who actually looks like they eat/enjoy food and (b) see a fat person get to talk about and eat and enjoy food on tv without it being stigmatized somehow?? And idk it just gets me that they have clearly made accommodations for him (ie chair, more fans during hot weather, fiddly stuff on edges got rearranged after he bumped into Jocasta’s jar of flour) rather than having him lose weight or something. His contract must be absolutely insane but clearly someone is fighting for him and I love when you can kind of see it bleed through from behind the scenes

#like it means so much to me #as a very fat person who also bakes for a living #my personal headcanon is that satine is his pit bull for stuff like this but obviously i have no proof lol

5,394 notes

Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos okay, you know what, they did ok with this. they listened, took accountability, and got the man a decent chair. good for them.  | Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos  the bake-off chair thing isn’t funny, it’s fatphobic. if your show is backed by a massive transatlantic company AND a streaming giant, you have no business not providing your stars with furniture they can safely and comfortably use, never mind FIT IN. 🧵 1/? | Jen June 🏳️‍🌈🌌 she/her @thefatkosmos should it have taken a whole ass twitter debacle instead of like. literally anyone on set clocking that his chair was too small? PROBABLY NOT, but. yanno. hollywood 🙃

d0ugh-duchess 🔁 dontjuststandthere-bustanut

[An image of Ben Kenobi and Satine Kryze on the set of Bake-Off, discussing who will win Star Baker and who will be eliminated this week. Satine, a thin, blonde, white woman, sits in a delicate white chair with curly armrests at a round table draped in a robin’s egg blue tablecloth. Ben, a fat white man with strawberry-blond hair and a beard, sits across the table from her in a much sturdier-looking white chair without armrests. Between them are the four remaining contestants��� bakes from today’s challenges. Satine’s chair is pulled in close to the table, and her elbows rest on the tabletop, but Ben sits back in his chair, his ample belly filling his lap.]

#ngl i kinda miss the eps where he was still trying to fit into that teeny little lawn chair 😅 #listen im a simple woman with simple needs and mainstream media fulfills NONE OF THEM #pls don’t drag me for this that’s why i put in the tags #god can’t see it if you put it in the tags!

4,677 notes

—

484 by tummyrollsss

The Great British Bake-Off RPF

No Archive Warnings Apply, Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, Satine Kryze, Weight Gain, Light Angst, Belly Kink, Belly Rubs, Feeding Kink, Hand Feeding, Fluff, Established Relationship, Body Worship, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Stuffing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Praise Kink, Dirty Talk, (feedist version), Burping, Hiccups, fat Ben Kenobi, like he’s FAT fat, you have been warned, dom!Satine Kryze, making that a tag, i just think she’d like to be in charge!, the author’s barely disguised numbers kink, no beta we die like ben’s chair

After the chair fiasco, Satine wants to see how much bigger Ben can get before the season is over.

Language: English   Words: 19,302    Chapters: 10/10    Comments: 31    Kudos: 303 Bookmarks: 55    Hits: 7,721

—

toastwithextrabutter 🔁 thebstandsforbbw

thequeerfeedress:

me seeing “gay representation” on tv: thats not me

me seeing sat!ne kr¥ze quietly lose her shit on gbbo every week: shes just like me fr

849 notes

obiroundkenobi 🔁 himboswithhiccups

[A photoset of six screencaps from series 5 of Bake-Off. The photoset is captioned “Satine Kryze gracefully white-knuckling her way through feedist hell 1/???” Top left: Satine and Ben Kenobi listen as Kit Fisto describes his signature bake. Ben’s big belly rests on the counter of Fisto’s baking station. Satine looks perfectly normal except that she is clutching a rolling pin for literally no reason. Top right: Ben cutting himself a sizable second slice of Barriss Offee’s pineapple upside-down cake with his free hand resting on the plump curve of his belly. Satine, just visible behind him, is smiling with her mouth while her eyes do a thousand-yard stare. Middle left: Ben smiles good-naturedly as he brushes powdered sugar from near the hemline of his sweater and accidentally reveals a sliver of the bottom curve of his belly, straining against the pale blue button-down he’s wearing underneath. Satine is all the way across the tent, but she’s looking at him nonetheless. Middle right: Satine and Ben sitting across from each other at the judges’ table after the showstopper, mid-conversation. Ben is very clearly too big for the little white garden chairs but is valiantly wedged in despite the fact that the armrests are basically lost in his side rolls and his hips are so wide that they’re overflowing the seat. Ben is carefully leaning forward to pull a plate toward him, while Satine holds a knife and fork and has cut the petit four on her plate into about eighteen pieces. Bottom left: Ben with his eyes closed in pleasure after taking a bite from one of Steela Gerrera’s signature hazelnut-cardamom creme brulees. Satine is looking on perfectly affably, but host Anakin Skywalker is looking at her with one eyebrow pointedly raised. Bottom right: Ben and Satine sit at the judges’ table, a split second before that really obvious cut. Ben is spilling out of his little garden chair and his face shows a look of slightly panicked surprise. Satine is just starting to jump up from her own chair, one hand thrown out toward Ben like a life raft. The fingers of both her hands are splayed wide, and although it’s not verified by the episode’s subtitles or closed captions, her mouth forms a word that looks a lot like “Fuck!”] 

#god is she dying up there i would be dying #shoutout to satine kryze for living out all of our kinkiest dreams #we love you queen #bakeoff #creme pat and chill

6,905 notes

chouxpersizeme 🔁 thickfrosting

thickfrosting: 

god i hope they just. let bakeoff keep (d)evolving into a feedist wonderland afjalskdfj. last week: wildly obvious camouflage bc ben popped a button on air. this week: unsubtle cut bc bens chair (?!?) broke (?!?!?!?!) when he sat down. next week: satine rubs bens belly and he burps onscreen. during the final they reenact The Cake Scene from matilda. lets keep this going for the love of god this is the most alive ive felt in months 

#RIGHT THOUGH I FEEL INSANE #feels like watching yuri on ice as it was airing #us every week: THEY DON’T MEAN- THEY CAN’T- THEY’RE NOT GONNA -??!??! #yoi creators every week: lmao fucking WATCH US #looks meaningfully at netflix #WELL??? ARE YOU GONNA?!?!

3,879 notes

[alittleplaytime]

Build-a-bear wants pt.3

accessories i want from build-a-bear, to go along with all the bears i want (because i have no one else to show):

marketed as: knit sweater

marketed as: green dino costume

marketed as: axolotl sleeper

marketed as: bigfoot hoodie

marketed as: camo bear boxers

marketed as: hello kitty® tropical swimsuit

marketed as: teenage mutant ninja turtles t-shirt

marketed as: blue dino sleeper

marketed as: sonic pj sleeper

marketed as: first birthday tee

marketed as: sonic & tails tee

marketed as: red raptor t-shirt

marketed as: best brother tee

marketed as: pineapple swimsuit

marketed as: harry potter™ holiday sweater

marketed as: pink candy cane sleeper

marketed as: volleyball uniform set

marketed as: promise pets™ blue sleeper

marketed as: tennis skirt set

marketed as: disney stitch sleeper

marketed as: promise pets™ pink hearts sleeper

marketed as: it's a boy tee

marketed as: barbie™ ken swim trunks

marketed as: animal crossing™: new horizons sleeper

marketed as: dinosaur birthday tee

marketed as: blue plaid pj set

marketed as: best dad in the galaxy t-shirt

marketed as: halloween pj sleeper

marketed as: black skeleton suit

marketed as: disney tim burton's the nightmare before christmas king jack hoodie

part four is here

[solidwater-arts]

[ID: Three pen doodles. The first one is of Chara walking with their arms behind their back, looking up with wide eyes and a stiff smile. They are drawn as a skinny tall kid in their early teens. They have freckles and short wavy hair. They are wearing a sweater with a big stripe on the torso and arms, and an unbuttoned long overall as pants. Their cheeks are colored with a pink highlighter.

The second drawing is of Frisk and Chara standing next to each other. The kids' clothes and some details of their faces are colored with highlighters. Frisk is drawn as a fat child with green eyes and curly hair that reaches just above their shoulders. They have a bandaid on their nose and a gauze pad on their cheek. They are wearing a sweater with thin light blue and pink stripes and a short overall with a big pocket in the front.

The last drawing is of Kris. They are drawn with slightly wavy long hair that reaches below their shoulders. They are wearing a sweater with a stripe that goes across their torso, and the collar and bottom of a darker undershirt can be seen under it. /End ID]

Haven't drawn the kids in a while :]

I really like how Chara's design turned out, it has Chara Vibes™

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

the ship thing looks like a lot of fun! lets do it!

so my name's blu, and i use "she/her" pronouns! i have dark blue hair and brown eyes, am 5'8", and wear way too many oversized hoodies and sweaters haha i'm your sterotypical enfj- the kind of mom friend who will very forcefully remind you to do some selfcare! i do love to talk about the things i'm into, and aren't afraid to stand up for what i believe in. for hobbies, writing is my first love, but i also love taking long walks and exploring nature or even just the world outside my window! i'm also a big music enjoyer! i'm a part of two bands- one where i play guitar and the other where i do bass! i love singing, too, and get incredibly into all my karaoke performances 😂 i'm not really sure what i go looking for in a partner, but i tend to gravitate towards shyer guys and relationships where i'll end up doing most of the talking as well as people who aren't afraid to talk about the deep things in life.

thanks emily!! can't wait to see what you come up with 😁

Thank you so much for the request Blu!! (also i have blue hair rn too!! 🥰💖)

I ship you with…

(Speirs Voice) Darrell C. POWWWEEERRRRSSSS

A song from my liked songs that reminds me of y’all - Sugar, Sugar by the Archies

How you met

Mkay SO

Your band came to Europe to play for the soldiers because morale boost

So Easy Company is sitting listening to your band and everyone is vibing and having a Lovely Time ™

Shifty looks up at the stage and sees you with your guitar and

He’s sitting with Talbert and Smokey and they see how he’s just staring and start teasing him a bit

Sweet baby laughs but starts blushing when Tab and Smokes talk about meeting her after the show

Like WHAT?? INTERACTING WITH THE MOST GORGEOUS GIRL EVER???

Before they know it though y’all are packing up your gear and it’s Now or Never

So Tab and Smokey being Tab and Smokey they each Grab an Arm and before the three know it they’re next to the stage

You’re still on stage just putting your guitar away when Smokey just goes “YOU DID GREAT TONIGHT!!”

But when you turn around all you see is Shifty all alone and frantically looking beside him

But honestly he's so stinkin cute how could you not go over and talk to him

Sweet baby just blushes bright red and stutters out

“H-how do you do ma’am, my name’s shift- I mean Darrell b-but everyone calls me Shifty,” he just looks down and sticks his hand out

You just laugh softly and shake his hand (asdf there was so definitely a spark but neither of you admit it)

“It’s very nice to meet you Shifty,” you get an idea when you look back at the stage

“Would you mind helping me carry my stuff back to the van?” 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Shifty’s eyes brighten up and he’s like an eager golden retriever following you up onto the stage to get your things

Shifty’s able to relax a little bit thanks to you being so sweet and lovely and y’all have just the most wonderful conversation

Before you leave he definitely asks you to dinner and of course how could you say no

How he knew he loves you

I picture it happening when y’all are on a hike

You got to the top of the mountain and there’s a beautiful view, absolutely perfect for your picnic!

So y’all are having a lovely picnic just talking about everything under the sun

However you look over and notice that Shifty’s water bottle is almost full

Like siR YOU’RE ON A HIKE YOU NEED TO HYDRATE

“Shifty, you need to drink some water babe,” you say gently, holding out the water bottle to him

When he looks at you… the gentle but concerned look in your eyes, strands of your hair framing your face, the way the sun is shining on you, everything is just perfect

He leans forward and gently kisses you, placing a hand on your cheek

He slowly pulls away and just quietly says, “I’m in love with you…”

The genuine love and tenderness of the moment almost makes you want to cry so of course you say it back

Y’all go on that hiking trail every year now

A conflict that arose and how y’all resolve it

Ok so y’all are out at a bar maybe with friends after the war

Shifty offers to get the next round of drinks, so he kisses you on the cheek before going up to the bar and ordering

You glance over to the bar after a little bit and see Shifty talking to a girl??

It’s clear she’s trying to put the moves on him, the giggling, the Touching His Arm In That One Way

And Shifty just… lets her?

He’s even laughing along with her jokes (which you can hear and they ain’t great)

You could NEVER picture Shifty doing something like this, but you have no other explanation for what your eyes are seeing

The conflicting feelings start to feel overwhelming so you tell your friends that you’re going to the bathroom before walking as quickly as you can toward the restrooms

Shifty notices your brisk pace and gets concerned cuz you look really upset?? What happened while he was gone??

He follows you to the hallway with the bathrooms and gently takes your hand

“Is everything alright love??” he says so gently but also so worried

You debate telling him what you saw

Like on the one hand he’s never given any indication he’s like that

But on the other he was CLEARLY flirting back???

He sees the anxiety in your eyes and his concern just Doubles

“Sweetheart what’s wrong??” he gently places his hands on your arms while he waits to hear your response, praying he can fix whatever it is

“...why were you flirting with that girl?” you asked in a barely audible voice, tears welling up in your eyes

Suddenly Shifty’s facial muscles scrunch up

“Flirting? You mean with that girl at the bar?”

He laughs a little and shakes his head

“I was trying everything I could to get away from her, but I was waiting on the drinks and I didn’t want to be mean…”

You just breathe a sigh of relief and shake your head, relief washing over you

You both start laughing quietly before you plant a kiss on his lips

“I love you Darrell C Powers”

“Why do you always use my full name?” (it’s not because I always hear it in Speirs’ voice idk what you’re talking about)

Your Happily Ever After

Every morning he wakes you up with a kiss on your nose

If that doesn’t work he goes for your lips next

Sweet baby boy just does everything in his POWEEERRRSS Power to make you smile every day

It’s so lovely too because you're his Emotional Support Extrovert

You do all the talking when y’all need to do adult things like buy a car or do tax thingies

Y’all just balance each other perfectly and I would joke about it being gross but tbh it’s just goals

A silly headcanon about your relationship

So Shifty wanted to do something super extra special for your birthday one year

So he found this super cool and delicious recipe for your favorite flavor of cake

One catch - your boy has never cooked a thing a day in his life

So the night before your birthday (sweet boy wanted to surprise you) you come home and there’s smoke everywhere and you can tell it’s coming from the kitchen

Of course you race in and the first thing you see is Shifty standing on the counter fanning the fire alarm with an off-white apron

Which is weird because your apron is blue??

Yeah the kitchen was an absolute war zone

Cake batter everywhere, egg shells on the floor, flour sticking on every surface

Shifty sees you and quickly hops off the counter to hug you before he remembers the discombobulated state he is in

He just sheepishly smiles at you and says, “happy birthday??”

It was the most fun you’ve ever had cleaning up the kitchen

Thank you again for the ask Blu!!! 💙💙💙💙 (I'm sorry if i made too many jokes about how Speirs says his name it just lives in my head rent-free 🤣😅)

[fated-furret]

Alright, doing this again now that I'm not freaking out.

Hi, I'm Mika, and I'm a Pokémon now. I used to be human, but then I woke up in the middle of nowhere as a Furret, and now I'm living with Gen's family and a few fellow eebies! He/Him!

Present Mika here! Since then, I've adopted a Sentret called Niko that sometimes comes on here. He's... not the best at typing though, so any posts from him will be tagged #Niko Time to let people with screenreaders not have to be stuck reading a mess of symbols.

I also got sent a weird crystal that's left me hybridised for the foreseeable future. Here's what I look like now.

Mails on, but M!As off.

// OOC under the cut!

Hi! It's the person behind @genesis-override. now with one of these new-fangled human-to-Pokémon blogs! This is mainly inspired by @/whimsical-westbrook and @/goldenrodchef, but some credit should also go to @/skating-mienfoo-friend, @/shocking-shinx, @/ruffled--feathers, @/jayden-the-popplio, and @/meowing-at-the-director for their blogs giving me the motivation to commit!

I'll probably end up doing a few suggestive posts, and I'm fine with suggestive asks, but nothing blatantly NSFW. This guy also gets excessively vulgar at times (mostly just untargeted exclamations), so keep an eye out for that.

Mika's Stuff (yoinked from @/whimsical-westbrook)

( Key items in bold)

General Stuff:

A generic, Rotomless phone

A stylus

A longboard

A cardboard cutout of Howie Mandel

A tub of ball pit balls

A shiny rock

A large cardboard ring with a hole in the top for entry

A meteorite

Clothes and Accessories:

A sweater (still needs to decide what it looks like)

A pink PMD-style scarf

A stitched-up tail ribbon

A Furret-sized cowboy hat

A vampire Halloween costume, tailored for a Furret

A Comm-Everstone attached to a string(see Lily's intro)

A pink Furret skeleton sweater (like those skeleton pyjamas, but for Furret)

A human-sized black top hat with a pink band

A wristband from Jayden

A newspaper hat

A pink cap with ear holes

Plushies and Plushie Stuff:

A Sentret plush x2

A black top hat with an orange band for the Sentret plush

A weighted Spheal plush with a cool pack inside

Life-size shiny Furret plush

Dave

A second unnamed Sentret plush

A cartoony fireball plush with eyes

A cucumber plush

A Goomy plush

A patchwork Furret plush with button eyes and a deep blue bow on its ear

A Linoone plush

A Minccino plush x6

A MOAB plush

Gamer Stuff

The Xbox disabled controller with a bunch of accessories for it

A paw keyboard tailor-made for a Furret

Two Nintendo DSIs

A copy of Mario Kart DS

A copy of Learn with Pokémon: Typing Adventure

A seemingly magic gaming PC

A pair of Gamer Boots™

Pokémon Stuff

TMs for Rain Dance, Grass Knot, Solar Beam, Helping Hand, Endure, and every Bite move

4 Super Potions

Mika's Heal Ball

Niko's Great Ball

2 Poke Balls

A Great Ball

2 Ultra Balls

2 Net Balls

2 Premier Balls

2 Silk Scarves with Mika and Niko's names sewn into one of the corners

A few Smoke Balls

A few Escape Ropes

The De-evolution Orb

Stuff I'm hopefully going to get rid of:

A box of 295 ball pit balls

300,000 beads in a basket

A box of 4,994 bouncy balls

Niko Stuff:

A pair of boots

A baby walker

A Sentret-sized rain jacket

A Sentret-sized soundboard

Headphones for a Sentret that only block out loud noises

Other:

An unopened letter from Dad

So much trauma

Mika's Profile

Level 17 Furret (Heal Ball)

Ability - Technician

Current Moveset - Grass Knot, Chilling Water, Metronome

Has Learnt - Grass Knot, Chilling Water, Metronome

Niko's Profile

Level ??? Sentret (Great Ball)

Ability - ???

Current Moveset - N/A

Has Learnt - N/A

[vroomian]

Kinda rough points for the platonic ideal of a Gerard. Just ideas at this point lol

—

Jason shot and wounded stumbles into a maze of alleys, hears someone singing and playing the guitar. That’s fucking weird ™ Because people don’t sing in crime alley.

He follows the music to an abandoned building, climbs in, and stumbles across a girl who seems very unimpressed with the whole situation. Her hair is, of course, black and curly, her skin is pale, and her eyes are a very dark blue magnified by her thick glasses. Her ratty oversized sweater makes her look even smaller than she is.

Jason adds another point to the “am I actually cursed to deal with Wayne nonsense for the rest of my unlife ??” collum, because this kid is adoption bait, down to the deadpan look on her face.

Jason can’t get this Obviously Homeless Child to leave , because ‘I was here first’ is a pretty good justification in crime alley. Then it’s too late and the people who shot Jason show up outside, and they’re both trapped.

“Fucking really,” the kid says flatly.

Jason kinda likes the twerp despite himself. What a tiny asshole.

“I’ll lead him away,” Jason says, despite being Swiss cheesed. “Stay here.”

“Normally I'd agree,” the kid says, “but your blood is mostly on the outside. If you go out you’ll die.”

She’s right. Jason’s still not about to let this kid be killed because of him.

the kid looks out the window and sighs like he’s deeply annoying. “Okay. Fine. I’ll take care of it I guess. Can I have a gun. “

What.

“What,” Jason says.

The kid makes grabby hands towards the gun in his hands. Jason let’s her take it because it’s out of bullets anyway and he’s very confused.

“Wait no,” Jason says. “Do not go out there and get in a gun fight,”

“Obviously,” she says. She holds the gun kind of awkwardly, but the way she clicked the safely off speaks of familiarity. “But if red hood dies, no one keeps Batman out of the narrows.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because Batman won’t let metas live in Gotham,” she says and leans out the window before Jayson can stop her. Pressure builds and builds until jaysons hair stood on end, instincts screaming at him. The girl's eyes gain pinpricks of glowing red in the iris.

“It’s high noon,” she says, an odd echo to her voice, as if she was calling down a long tunnel.

It’s like three am. Jason can still feel the blinding heat of a harsh midday sun on his face.

There are eight men in the alley below them, and one of them points upwards at the girl — but it’s too late.

“Draw.”

The girl pulls the trigger . The crack is defaning, even through the sound filters of Jason’s helmet. The heat vanishes, but the wariness doesn’t.

Down below, all eight men collapse at the same time. Jason can make out the neat little holes in each of their foreheads. Clean headshots.

The girl shakes her head, hands Jason the gun back and rubs her eyes. “Ow. Hate doing that.”

“What was that????”

“Don’t worry about it. Here, hold this thing,” she tosses him a baseball. “Embrace tranquility or whatever.”

“???” Jason says when the base ball begins to float and glow, this time gold -- and matching the pinpricks of gold light in the girl’s irises. Before he has time to drop it, he can feel his chest begin to knit together. “You can heal?”

“No,” Her face is completely straight. “It’s definitely not me. There’s no metas in gotham. Especially not in the narrows. That’d just be asking to get captured and sold.”

Jason glanced out the window, at the eight dead men, and the calm face of the girl. She couldn’t be more than twelve but there was no regret, or hesitation in her expression. Not the first time she’d killed.

“I can put you up in a safe house,” Jason says.

“Haha, death first. I’m not getting involved with your caped nonsense. I’m going to go to college and become an accountant.”

Argue about it till the orb fizzles out and Jason agrees to leave reluctantly. He knows how alley kids are, and forcing the issue won’t help.

“Whats your name?” He asks.

“……Gerard” she says, not changing her expression.

“You don’t look like a Gerard.”

“I’ll have you know that I am the platonic ideal of a Gerard. If you look Gerard up online you’ll find me and only me.”

Man Jason likes this kid. “Sure. See you around Gerry.”

“Man I hope not. Don’t forget to clean up your mess. I like this spot and I don’t need eu de corpse outside all day.”

Brat. Jason goes out the window, baseball in hand. Behind him, there’s a moment of quiet, and then the music starts up again. 

“Now Jesus died for them its true. What’s a devil to do? When the saints go marching in, I won’t be there because I love my sins…”

[resistancepilots]

List 5 things that make you happy, then send this to the askbox of the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you (except me, I have obviously already done it)! get to know your mutuals and followers! <3 ;D

@thejerseydevile omg HI🥰

dry summer/early fall days. ideal for short shorts+loose shirts and short shorts+long sleeves/sweaters/scarves respectively

The Ocean, her bestie The Beach, and their distant cousin Those Slatted Wood Paths on Trails

mulled cider and lemon curd. NOT together but two of my favest consumables

Crafts™. All of them, my weaving is all packed up along w my quilting and giant embroidery projects, but I just learned to knit socks on dpns!! holey but cheerful socks r in progress i love the stabby lil skinny metal needles

being done w my doctoral exam as of a few hours ago😭🙌🏽🙏🏽😩🥳👅🍑🎆❗️

BONUS: my hair, which is dark red again after years of green then various purples and pinks and blues (and all three since last year)