#The 'i'm hungry' sign

[kotikaleo]

Aautistic meltdowns

Autistic meltdowns are an involuntary response to sensory or emotional overload and overwhelm. This highly dysregulated state is not behavioral, but a physical manifestation of a neurobiological reaction. They can happen at any age and take from 20 minutes to few hours before the person is able to recover. It is not a temper tantrum, as it is not a manipulation tactic in response to not getting needs met, meltdowns are a physical manifestation of a neurobiological reaction and cries of distress.

[neroushalvaus]

Koko the gorilla didn't know ASL but, like, you could say that without invalidating the existence of speech-supporting signs

[konstantya]

Ah, yes, it's once again time to play "Starve the Gut Bacteria Until It Calms the Fuck Down."

[mellifloss]

how are we doing this fine friday evening

[invinciblerodent]

yknow, no, i'm not done thinking/posting/being deeply angry about the whole "bbuuuhhh Astarion is gay and was made playersexual as a game mechanic bbbuuuhhhhhhh" garbage some people still spout.

like this type of sentiment is always annoying and wrong, but it's specifically this character for whom it's especially annoying to me, just because on top of all the regular host of issues, it also deeply contradicts what I believe is the central theme of his whole goddamn story.

(excuse the rant please.)

Like, my skin already crawls at that term, "playersexual". I hate it, and find its use either vaguely ignorant at best, or blatantly pan/biphobic at worst. but even just besides that....

This character is a man whose narrative intentionally shows his presentation of himself, and of his masculinity, as being contradictory with convention. This character is one whose entire arc is about discovering who he is beyond the boxes he was assigned: a spawn, a monster, a seducer, a tool, a predator, a plaything, a victim, a sexual object... these are all identities that were forced onto him. And if he's given space to discover them, turns out, none of them are things that he actually wants to be. if you give him space, and affection (romantic or otherwise), and acceptance, and help him attain closure and catharsis, he expresses desire to be... an adventurer, a lover, a friend, a protector, so many things, but all of them in his own way. That's the point of his story, control vs. autonomy.

How.... myopic does one have to be to see that story, to play that story, to play an active, participatory role in that subversion, that search for the self beneath the masks, and declare that actually, they made him this other box for him to fit into, so... it's fine, i guess, to ignore what he says?????? it's fine if they pick and choose among his expressed traits which ones to use and which to disregard, because they decided (based on frankly homophobic and rather misogynistic stereotypes) that he cannot be different from their perception, despite him literally saying otherwise????????

Astarion's entire figure is a succession of trope-subversions. I could write essays about all the ways in which, in the romanced spawn game, the narrative sets up tropes (primarily in act 1), only to then purposefully knock them down and contradict them as the game progresses.

Like..... He was to take revenge by taking power for himself (like he thought he wanted, like Cazador did to Vellioth): ended up taking his revenge and rejecting the power that could have come with it, and despite that having a price, being content and grateful for it (and realizing that the alternative would have had an even greater price he would have paid unknowingly). He starts out using sex and sexuality as a weapon, and a tool of manipulation, like he did for many decades: ends up expressing discomfort with being seen as a sex object, resuming his sex life by saying "I love you" before his partner would have, and proposing sex with them as a beautiful metaphor for his own rebirth.

His whole story starts out with him thinking he requires protection from the player and that the only way to get that is through using his body and looks as a bargaining chip: later he discovers in himself a desire to be the protector himself, which he talks about more than once, and expresses varying degrees of discomfort at the thoughts of both using his body to gain something, and needing a protector.

There's the "this is what I'm good for" type of attitude towards sex morphing into "I am so much more than a thing to be used". There's the whole thing about how important his looks were to both him and his "usefulness" back then, despite him not being able to even fucking see them, (which also kind of includes that silly lovely gremlin-face he sometimes makes), but those are just the ones off the top of my head.

The story, and the romance plot, is about... it's about him regaining ownership of himself, it's about autonomy, his whole recurring "what do you want" line is about respecting his choices and letting him find his way to them, it's about letting him show you who he is, believing him, and loving the man behind the facade.

how absolutely fucking short-sighted does one have to be to then take that incredibly reductive stereotype of "femme-leaning man with theatrical mannerisms who cares about his looks; must be exclusively homosexual and any attraction he shows to women is just a mechanic/fanservice/flattery" (which, that's so fucking insulting to gay men, and bi/pan men, an any man who might express masculinity in a less than conventional way, and to the women who may love them [eta: and of course nonbinary people, and the people to whom masculinity means something wholly different]), and assign it to this character on their own accord, despite him literally telling the player otherwise? despite him verbally expressing attraction to multiple women, and contradicting that stereotypical interpretation wholly and out of pocket??????

like, hello??????? did we play the same game????????? did we play the same fucking game??????????

like don't think for one second that it isn't the pan/biphobia that annoys me more, it absolutely is, but this character is such a particularly egregious example, it's almost fucking poetic.

[medicinemane]

Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week

Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)

So... money please, I already won, pay me

[keratonin]

i just finished reading one last stop and 😭 help i'm mOURNFUL about the fact that i'm done reading it and will never read it for the first time ever again

[3gremlins]

me: so i've somehow become the de facto leader of my raid group and there's all this drama and i think i'm bad at dealing with it my therapist: it's interesting that you're the leader of things...that's good right? me: oh no this happens a lot and it's terrible. you know how in skyrim you show up at mage college like "hello yes, i'd like to learn magic" and they're like "that's great, we're having this problem, can you help us?" and you're like "okay sure i guess" and they're like "great, thank you, also you're the leader now b/c you did the stuff" and this happens with every single organization in that game?? This is my life. like i just wander into groups wanting to participate/do stuff and then since i'm the only one who is willing to organize anything i somehow become in charge. my therapist: fascinating! ngl i'm so proud of you for making communities! reaching out! nature is healing! me: i feel like you are not understanding the problem tho :3

[septimus-heap]

Why does it feel like it would be too much effort to make a pot noodle. That's like 3 steps maybe 4. Hello

[delusionalblfan]

i am obsessing over The Sign. For the past 5 hours(!) i've been searching on mythology and just discovered astonishing stuff i read mainly on Hindu and Buddhist stories. There's obviously different approaches, with an understanding of the complex and dynamic nature of religious traditions. I'm having a mythological orgasm!!

Apparently there's Garuda (birdlike) and Nagas (serpents) that are natural enemies; and mommy Naga and mommy Garuda that are sisters feuding and cursing each other; and Lord Vishnu and his relations to Garuda (his vehicle/mount) and Shesha (the lord of the serpents and his devoted attendant); and how a birdlike and a serpent (seemingly enemies) are both devoted servants of Vishnu, representing the balance and harmony maintained in the cosmic order; and so on... and i'm mind blown and full of questions

[saltybiowarefantears]

before I go on food and stretch break, a small Rook introduction - Eneida Ingellvar, my 41 year old, divorced Mourn Watch mage.

[keeps-ache]

streetlamps.. orange streetlamps..... <33

[dont-open-dead-inside-net]

Just remembered why I never eat. Damn

[nny11writes]

Best part of playing Shadow Weaver in The Sims 4? Coming up with titles and descriptions for her books, hands down.

[fabbyf1]

whats a trope you could write over and over again?

Mushy-gushy falling for each other, no drama, no angst, i-wanna-die-when-you-die over-the-top love.

you know?

that shit gets me hard.

[agentemo]

re the Youths(tm) not knowing computers

I'm a tech teacher (I guess; it's complicated but the point is I deal with students and computers) and while my teenagers seem pretty adept -- I can't recall any moments of inefficiency with tech that particularly stood out -- the pre-teens and especially younger kids seem very confused by or unwilling to try things that feel quite basic to me.

Ages 6-8 don't know how to use keyboards. I find myself wondering why I'm paid to teach them how to code when I could be teaching them how to type and absolutely should be. When I was their age, my computer lab had those colorful iMacs and we played computer games that taught us to type. Keyboards are so foreign to these kids and the touchscreen monitors in the computer labs are my sworn enemy because sometimes you need to use a mouse and they are so unfamiliar.

Ages 9-11 don't know how to go to websites. It's easy to assume they're giving me a hard time on purpose, but there is one student who absolutely is not a jerk to whom I gave a link to type in her browser and she just...didn't get it. Like, her url was impossible and she didn't even know. Until I said "type it EXACTLY like I wrote it" and she finally got in the website.

"Millennials" grew up with computers; "genz" and younger grew up with touchscreens.

Right now it's a very small gap that isn't that big a deal . And this all feels really anecdotal. I just wanted to say there are many anecdotes out there. And as a tech teacher, I'm getting disillusioned by the idea of teaching young kids to code when they don't know how to use a desktop.