#AND IT HAPENS ANYWAY

[kotikaleo]

Aautistic meltdowns

Autistic meltdowns are an involuntary response to sensory or emotional overload and overwhelm. This highly dysregulated state is not behavioral, but a physical manifestation of a neurobiological reaction. They can happen at any age and take from 20 minutes to few hours before the person is able to recover. It is not a temper tantrum, as it is not a manipulation tactic in response to not getting needs met, meltdowns are a physical manifestation of a neurobiological reaction and cries of distress.

[junkartie]

I think the most crushing autism experience is friends/romantic partners eventually figuring out youre masking bcz if you keep it up long enough its also off-putting & unnatural and then insisting you act like yourself- only to realize they in fact do not like your real self and make comments about how annoying/different youre acting all of a sudden. ❤️🧎‍♀️

[veveisveryuncool]

"...where did we all go...?"

"...i will bring us back."

kirbytober day 13: drizzle/ancient (plus bonus spook for friday the thirteenth

[euclydya]

This guy . what's his deal.

[the-holy-ghosted]

john lynch. you agree. reblog (the same post billions of times 💖)

so fucjmgnf tru e

[holoship]

[firebuug]

the stupid thing about anxiety that leans into straight up paranoia territory is that you can be weirdly paranoid and expectant of something terrible, worst case scenario ever to happen like, all the time, but since it's never happened to you you know it's unreasonable. but the moment one of the things you're crazy about actually happens, all those other extremely way more unreasonable things suddenly become plausible in your head by association, so now you're just on guard ALL the time. it's like throwing your anxiety a bone and because it was good that time and did a good job of preparing you for it now it's like ok! I will do this for everything else too and i will do a good job. but really it just needs to be put down

[beatriceportinari]

is it petty of me to be annoyed at those sasuke izuna parallel post abt eye stealing. itachi purposefully engineered that parallel to manipulate and scare sasuke that's why the 'parallels' are 1 chapter apart lol like i love to notice parallels that aren't there but this is the opposite of that somehow. this is a very obvious and also fake one anyway yippee eye horror on the dash at least

[louisarmpits]

I love learning hacks that are literally life changing

[gorillaxyz]

oh fuck*thinsk about murbat war aus

[hero-dualies-pog]

ok then. i guess we’re doing this then.

[winged-cries]

#he is a product of sexual coercion as much as incest by that lense but also#it ties together to him only having ruby when she states that it is wrong and they shouldn't (much like.. well) even though she tried#to make it better while having only her inside the body etc#it also brings a new notion to soulless sam predatory advances. he's free of that “at least make it right” and he finally gets that#sam wants to do it right but wrong is the only way he knows of#+ lucifer calling dean and john foster care at best goes around calling sam much more than “just wrong”. he's no one's son#he's a product of a deal between a dead demon in a dead guy's body and a dead mom he never met

yes, he would be a product of rape (extrapolating from the kiss to what it really means) and that ties with sam's transgressive desires. i think it would make a twisted kind of sense if sam and dean's first time was actually a sexual assault in s6. i know that would never actually happen in spn, but sam is sexually predatory while soulless and i think the sam/dean subtext is at its most obvious then. it would be the saddest possible outcome, and yet it would make a tragic kind of sense wouldn't it. the only way to "solve" the situation being by falling into the pattern of violence and coercion, which is not at all what sam would really want, but nonetheless is something the worst of him would crave - his desire for dean stripped of his love for him. and then considering the dean/john and sam/azazel subtext, it would put sam in the position of what he feared and despised the most, but also what deep down he always feared he would become.

i also think often about sam as a product of incest, in the sense that he is as much john's son as he is azazel's child

sam as a sort of death figure. his character is defined by his transgressive appetite.

and sam's appetite for demon blood is directly associated with transgressive sexuality (having sex with a demon). and there's an incestuous subtext to that as well (ruby calling sam "sammy" and purposefully acting like dean to manipulate him into doing what she wants, as well as the way blood drinking is framed as a sort of parody of a mother breastfeeding her son).

[4giorno]

i told you WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU OH MY GOD I LITERALLY TOLD YOUUUUUU

[dansformations]

"Influencing influencers"

Im Byron, im kinda popular on the media, wouldnt call myself an influencer but at least an small celebrity for certain people: gay guys. Im popular between gay guys.

Then there is this guy, Tod, he do Is an influencer, another gay guy pretty popular, and we have done some colaboration videos, thanks to this i got a bit of highlights recently, getting more followers, but just some days ago Tod posted something off, at least for his usual:

Fart jokes? Superhero referentes? Both together!? Really weird if you ask me to. The situation got weirder when a lot of popular guys from the "gymbro side" of the media started comenting, celebrating his video... And he wrote back, in the weirder way posible:

"@markobroskii: Sick Bro! Superman Is next

@Tody_yourguy: Aded to the list broski!"

Didnt tought too much about It until he post a video that made my jaw drop:

He wasnt just wearing clothes that didnt match his usual but he was in the lingerie zone playing with the undies, saying he was making the zone 'More enjoyable to the View"

That sell the deal. I send his a message and went to his place to check on him.

In the way to his place i saw his @ on media changing to @Tod_thebro.

Wtf!?

When arrived, i notice diferences since he open the door, he stank!

- Jesus! Tod, thats your smell!?

- Yeah, some bro scent, go ahead bro, take a sit - he said With a voice that sounded diferent, he was talking with this "Frat Bro" acent we used to laugh about.

His apartament was now a mess, full of empty - and not so empty - pizza boxes, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, and sticky looking socks... He offer me a beer from a brand i didnt knew, but i'm not really a drinker so maybe thats why. I took it just to be polite, took some sips... Wasnt that bad.

Tried to find the cleanest place and thats where i sat.

- Sup bro, what did you wanna talk about?

- Well... About this... - I said looking around -Whats happening? First that gross fart video - I saw him chuckle when i mentioned that - then that also gross video on the lingerie store and Now... Look at your apartament, what hapened?

- I woke up bro - thats his only answer.

- Huh?

- I realice that gay life wasnt right for me

- What the fuck you- he interupt me

- Going to the gym, no worries about skin care routine - he keep talking - no worries even about showers, not washing my butt every-time-i-have-a-date - he said that words sounding indeed really sick of it- or not washing my butt at all, no using it for please other guys, just using it for this:

After saying that he lifted a leg and rip a long, smelly and loud fart

PRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTFFFF the fart resonated for all the place, stinking everything, i had to cover my nose inmediatly, which make Tod laugh.

- Tod, theres no way to go straight, u have always been against that believe!

- Used to, but theres way, and you Will UAAARP agree soon

- What do you mean? - i said confused, and a bit of worried

- See, my awaking start when i had the first can of a beer from this weird brand a hot masc guy gave me, that same beer you are drinking now

Oh fuck.

- Oh n-OOUUUURRRRRP

- It's already starting, bro

- Theres no way, uh-PRRRRRRFFTTTFFFF

Tod was smiling with and almost evil smile, chugged a can of beer, belched and said: Cheers bro.

While here, I was burping non-stop, feeling my brain a bit foggy... Why I was worried about?

...

@ morningboy💕:

Oh!, Byron finally posted something, and it looks like a colab with Tod! Maybe he make him come back to his senses, all his 'turning straight' story really afect to the community.

Anyways lets see the video...

Ok, that outfit was a choice, Byron - I tough

Keep watching.

Oh... Oh no, is Byron having a fart contest with Todd!?

This feels wrong... Wait! Why his user just changed to @Byb-ronski...

[rainbowgod666]

Holy shit i have an excuse to give you this

I FOUND IT AND WAS LIKE "no wait i gotta show it to faye ajsklfprnfkgl" AND HERE I HAVE THE OCCASION YIPPEE

chat wtf im so confused?????????

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 37 REGRET

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing

NOTES | new year in 4 hours and I haven't even finished this smau. gonna write some chaps of my smau in advance next time 🧍‍♀️anyways I'm sure you guys can tell we're reaching the end, so what if jaemy/n never happens 😈

+ I feel like this chapter could've been better (proofreading it mightve helped) but it is what it is 😭

Jaemin looks at Y/n, and despite the double doors of the lockeroom finally being swung open, he looks at her, and only her.

Her tear stained cheeks, her ragged breaths, her bloodshot eyes, they all make the guilt biting against his tongue sharper.

The palm of her hand pressed firmly to her forehead only causes his mind to run, an unwanted whistle stop door down memory lane. Every moment comes back to him, his ignorance, his resentment, his rashness — his incompetence however, is the most haunting.

All those years ago, Jaemin swore he knew Y/n better than she knew herself, her habits, her mannerisms, her likes and dislikes. He knew it all. He knew her, truly and entirely, and yet he had been so quick to assume. He felt incompetent, like those years of friendship had amounted to so little, like knowing her had meant nothing.

What use was knowing her in their best moments when he couldn't recognise her in their worst.

She wouldn't do that to him, he knew that. Y/n wouldn't betray him. But knowing wasn't enough if he couldn't believe it. Her hadn't.

And suddenly the shame and self reproach had never spoken louder to jaemin. He should have known better. Been better.

Truly, Jaemin never felt he had measured up to y/n when it came to their friendship, but something now made him feel so much more lousy than ever before, insecure. And perhaps, he had let those insecurities of his cloud his judgement.

If only he'd heard her out, if only he'd listened. If only he'd acted differently.

Jaemin sure wishes he'd acted differently. Her shouts, teary eyes and desperate screams for him to just talk to her played, a broken record in his mind.

But it was so much more than that, regret that stretched far beyond distinguishing lies from actuality.

It was about all the things he never noticed, all the small details that he should have noticed. A best friend would have noticed.

Sure, Jaemin had been hurt. He'd been through hell and back in the months after the competition, but never once did he go through it alone. He had his friends by his side, his brothers, and Y/n, she hadn't just lost him, she'd lost them too, without so much as a goodbye, never even knowing why.

She'd fallen apart and put herself back together right in front of him, and he'd never noticed a thing. The guilt ate him up inside.

What could have been, what he should've done, it was almost haunting.

Yet again, as he hears the shuffling of feet in front of him, the muffled protests of way too many voices by the door and the increasingly fast footsteps away from him, Jaemin feels like he should have known better.

Y/n was always impulsive.

And when he looks ahead of him, Jaemin realises she's long gone, shouts of her name coming from down the hall, confused eyes latching onto Jaemin.

"What the fuck hapenned in there Na?"

Jake's voice comes loud and clear but the captain in front of him looks just as dazed as before.

"Why was she crying?"

"She was crying?" Jaemin doesn't mean for his words to come out to monotonous, but he can't control it. It feels like everything is moving too fast for him, like he's a couple seconds behind of it all.

"Jaemin?" This time it's chenle, staring mouth agape at him.

"You look like you've seen a ghost what hapenned?"

He doesn't know how to respond, explain it all or find the words to even begin. And it's clear to the two in front of him.

Jaemin feels so far from reality that he doesn't even realise when Jake had grabbed him by the arm and started running, now standing not too far from the rest of their teammates.

That's when they see her, y/n, dishevelled, distraught and for the first time ever, absolutely enraged.

"You really thought we wouldn't find out?" she laughs at him, but somewhere also at herself, for having been so foolish, for not having tried harder.

Her father stands, bruised, but somehow just as proud as before. He smiles, pretentious. It's like he knows Y/n has no intention of letting him speak, because he doesn't even try to respond.

"You tried to break me down piece by piece until I had nothing, you started with Jaemin, my freedom, my childhood, and then you even took away yourself. Not that you ever were much of father. But you know what, you failed."

Watching y/n, jaemin saw her father in her, for just a moment, fleetingly, she stood proud, nowhere near as pompous as him, but just as angry. Still their differences were markable, how she was proud but not too cocky, how his anger seemed to be directed at life, and hers only at him.

"You failed because you never took anything away at all, you should've known the second you tried to sabotage my career you wouldn't win. But you tried anyways, really it's commendable. Your only achievement in life was taking away mine, so at least you accomplished something. But you know what, everything you did, all you tried to take away, it left me with so much more. And Jaemin? You must've been a fucking idiot to think we wouldn't figure this out. "

Jaemin let's a shaky breath out, some part of him relieved that Y/n didn't blame him for anything that hapenned.

He watches the rage bubble in the man across from him, the signs of his age now etched into his skin, he wasn't always like this. But as long as Jaemin could consciously remember, the man had never worn a smile, never made a kind gesture, never been pleasant. He wished he could be shocked at the situation in front of him, but the only word he could find was deserved. Y/n's father deserved it.

Still the tension is high, relief underlying but with a heavy silence laying overtop. The weight of words and memories extortionate. But the audacity of the man in front is unchanged, his hand moving so swiftly towards Y/n

"Ungrateful bi-"

It's Ningning who reaches out to stop the man, pushing him backwards and away from his daughter.

"I hope you don't think she has anything to be grateful to you for"

"I raised her." his protests are loud and obnoxious.

"Barely" Y/n scoffs, with so much more to say, but her tiredness catches up to her, "Just stay away from me, please."

It's easy to notice the sharp edge to her voice. Something that says she just needs a moment to herself.

And despite wanting to scream and shout at him, wanting to question him some more and push him a little further, Y/n walks away from the man, eyes stinging.

The weight on her shoulders is lighter, still present, but enough for her to let her sniffles grow further into full blown sobs with each step she takes away from the man. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

With the tears blurring her vision, she barely had any idea where she was going, her head hitting something hard as she strode forwards.

"Y/n?"

Y/n just wanted to be alone, in fact, the last thing she needed right now was to walk into Jay.

"I was looking fo-" he pauses, concerned as she tries to walk away, "hey it's okay, we don't have to talk about it, just let it all out" he says, soothing her slowly with a hand on her head, cradled in his chest.

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