#That’s what he was like originally in the show and that’s the way I like it

[thetadispatcher]

Nines studied the man a moment, even the lack of change in the other's expression was usable information for him in figuring out Bishop's motive. He wasn't shocked when he came to the conclusion the man was trying to get him to react for his own amusement, it seemed to be something a lot of humans tried to do.

Sure, some actually had good intentions behind it, but he found mainly he had to deal with the ones who made it their goal to see if they could piss him off. Unfortunately for Gavin, Nines enjoyed how his lack of reaction made the man rage so easily, it made basically having to babysit a grown man worth it.

"I know how to tell if a sibling murdered the other or not, possible motives, and how to get information out of them. Not how to act like one as that is not useful to solving a case." He had no need to understand sibling relationships beyond what was necessary to solve a case.

"Of course, our batteries can last way longer then a human's life span. And they may grow tired of the issue before then." Hugh responded with a nod, he had a feeling the problem would likely be forgotten quickly as there were more important issues surrounding android rights to deal with. And wasting time on a bunch of military units that weren't causing issues would be ridiculous.

Kelvin arrived after a few minutes, catching SIxty's attention as the other unit started to help him pack the boxes without acknowledging him. Sixty frowned a bit, showing he really didn't much care for Kelvin likely due to how the android seemed to ignore his existence to focus on his given task.

Sixty would rather talk to the other units, and with Kelvin he couldn't do that or get much of any feedback from him, something that annoyed him. But he never got physically upset with the other android as he understood it wasn't something Kelvin had any control over.

Strasky glanced at the new android, noting his odd clothes and the tactical vest that had a name tag attached to the front. He stopped himself from greeting the android as he noticed the blue cracks around his ear canal, which he felt meant he likely wouldn't be able to hear him.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Rook." Ellis said with a smile and a nod, glancing at Dan as the PL600 walked away to go speak with some of the construction units. He knew Dan could tell they'd do fine without him standing around as they were talking about a shared interest.

"Part of the Jet Grind Radio series. Yep, I've heard of it." He confirmed with a nod. "Hideki Naganuma does good music, very good. He did a song for Lethal League Blaze too, nothin' for the original Lethal League game." He noted, sure a game about hitting a ball back and forth probably wasn't exciting to some, but at least it had a good sound track to listen to.

"I haven't played Jet Set Radio yet, but it is on my list." Ellis slid the jack he was resting on under the nearby vehicle to start jacking it up, feeling he should work and talk at the same time.

"Right now, Pete an' I are doin' Hollow Knight together. For a game about bugs it's got a very good story, an' very interestin' boss fights." He felt Peter's poor explanation of the game might've made it far more interesting to him then it might normally be, but he was okay with that.

That brief show of emotion was met with the same look as before, as Bishop made sure to guard himself at the same time. That was subtle, he had to admit that. Perhaps Cyberlife had managed to create something worth the while.

"I suppose that's a limited sample. Although I would expect someone designed to do detective work would be provided with a deeper understanding of this sort of behavior."

Just because he personally chose not to act like a human being most of the time, it didn't mean he didn't understand how they acted. Then again, that might have just been another jab.

He looked back to his cards, "As they do. You can at least trust in the debate taking so long to get to a point that you might outlive the people involved."

That was what he did anyway.

"Ah, that works." Rook pulled out her phone, "Did you catch that, Willow?"

"Of course." Willow was already on the lookout. A rushing android should be hard to miss.

"Sorry about that. It's better to keep our guards up with Bishop around."

Then again they hadn't heard from the agent in a while. Rook followed Dan all the way to the garage. She didn't know what to expect, but it looked like the construction units looked friendly enough.

"Well, you should probably mention that hole in the wall you made." That seemed like something that should concern these androids.

While she was expecting to spot a familiar face, she could have never guessed who it actually was.

"Yeah, I'm new around here. I'm Rook, nice to meet you!" she replied with a smile, "Okay, that's good to know. I haven't played that game but I like Jet Set Radio. Do you know that one?"

[acphengene]

Lilac longing

₊ ⁺ pairing: Sunoo x reader

₊ ⁺ genre: soulmate au and over all cuteness overload

₊ ⁺ wordcount: 3.5k

₊ ⁺ note: i was so close to make this a angst full mess - also be prepared for a lot of brotherly love and support 🤍

₊ ⁺ Jake ₊ ⁺ Jungwon ₊ ⁺ Jay ₊ ⁺ Sunoo ₊ ⁺ Heeseung ₊ ⁺ Niki ₊ ⁺ Sunghoon ₊ ⁺

Sunoo felt the world more fiercely than most, that had been the case his entire life. Even when he was a child.

He loved to paint, loved color and he loved to express himself through his own style and how he chose to decorate his room, through dance and through song.

When his thirteenth birthday came he was nothing short of excited. He woke up as early as possible and when he opened his eyes, everything was a light purple hue.

It almost seemed like he was looking through colored glasses, he had smiled and quickly woken up his sister that had tried to put on a brave face as he rambled about the beauty of the purple colors.

She had helped him make marks in his clothes so he always knew what color they were. He had been all smiles all day, but when the sun had come down, so had his smile.

Sunoo wasn’t stupid, he knew that emotion-marks were some of the hardest to have, not as bad as touch-marks but finding you from your feelings alone would be difficult.

He then saw his world go from a happy yellow to a worried grey, and he knew that you could see him and his emotions as well. That his anxiety worried you and it warmed his heart.

It had to have some sort of effect, cause the grey quickly transformed into a light blue: content

Sunoo became more positive and it was all thanks to you. He had always had a happy outlook on life, but because you were able to sense him, he had turned himself into a glass half full kind of guy.

He did his best to be upbeat and just over all confident, and even though he was faking it in the beginning, it ended up actually rubbing off on him.

The guys on I-land were somewhat jealous of his carefree spirit, and when they had debuted, he had told them why he was the way that he was. They had all been so supportive and kind, and to them it made sense, cause they would’ve done the exact same had they been in his position.

You too were very similar to your soulmate, and had decided that you too wanted to be the happiest version of yourself. Both now but also later in life for when the two of you would be united.

All your life you had loved art, and now that you saw the world in hues you wanted to express that. Show it off with pride to the world

The nature of your paintings was typically inspired by the sky and its different colors. It was one of the things you could still enjoy in all its original glory. A sunset or sundown had a ray of colors that could change in an instant. Just like you and your soulmate's emotions did throughout a day.

It inspired you, and inspiration and the outcomes of it had to be shared. You had been active on TikTok since before the pandemic, you adored the platform and had managed to build yourself a following throughout the years.

In the beginning you had used it for your art and your art alone, but when someone had asked why all your paintings were monochrome. You had answered with a video explaining your mark, and the spark in your eyes when you spoke of him had made you go viral

“Dude have you seen this?” Jake said as he threw his phone to Sunoo.

They were currently in hair and makeup for a photoshoot. He caught the phone and on the screen and there you were.

He couldn’t help but smile, you looked radiant, like the impersonation of a sunray.

“I do see color, it’s just all in one hue, like looking at the world through rose colored glasses” he saw how a gigantic smile broke out on your lips and you lighted up.

He felt a tug on his heartstrings and for the first time in his life he felt longing, longing for his soulmate. He couldn’t help but hope that his other half would be as bright and beautiful like you were.

“They’re excited, everything just went from a slight nervous green to a yellow so bright it’s almost blinding. So I’m guessing we’re gonna have to change canvases now” you said as you switched them out.

“She’s cute” Sunghoon said as he looked over his shoulder, and he hummed in agreement.

Sunoo pulled out his own phone and quickly found your public social medias and followed them all with his private accounts.

He ended up watching some of your videos throughout the day. There was something incredibly comforting about seeing someone with the same mark as him, channel that into something so beautiful as your art.

Personally he did it in song or in dance, but he could nothing but admire anyone who could turn something most would see as a hindering into something so beautiful.

In the next few weeks he had to admit he had become a little obsessed. He typically got the girls to help him translate your lives whenever you logged on. They were all fans as well, some for your art others just for your over all personality so they at least didn’t seem to mind it.

“It’s purple again. I don’t know you guys, either he has the biggest sweet tooth ever, and constantly craves and longs for chocolate… or else I would say he’s right here with us” you had laughed at your own statement and had quickly disregarded it.

But there was something there - because he had felt that longing after his own person right as you had smiled so brightly.

In another live he watched, someone commented on something in the background, and he had to admit he had never really noticed anything but you. It made him feel a bit of shame, mostly because he never thought you’d actually be his, but also because the pull he felt towards you might make his soulmate jealous down the line.

“Oh! Those are my albums” you said before getting up from your chair where you usually painted.

And in your hands you had copies of their albums. So he wasn’t the only one who was a fan of the other.

The chat had quickly exploded with other engenes, wanting to know your thought on the sudden pop up of the guys and their other halves.

“I’m honestly so so happy for them, we all deserve to find our person, and as long as they bring them joy… well it’s the most important thing”

His vision turned a mix of dark blue and green then and there. Sadness and envy. But that was just a coincidence, right?

You sighed and shaked your head; “anyways, I’ve been a pretty big fan of Enhypen - practically since I-land”

His hands hovered over the keyboard on his phone as he tried to get the courage to ask that one little question. But before he knew it, he saw the familiar @ of none other than Jungwon soulmate, ask the question on his mind.

“Who’s your bias?” She sent a wink his way and he returned it with a shy smile. Sunoo had come to love the women almost as much as he loved his brothers.

“Oh my bias is Suno! There’s a brightness about him that remind me so much of myself” He felt the heat rush to his cheeks as the girls all made little ‘uuuuuuuhs’ around the room.

“Stop it” he said quietly. He looked up from his phone and saw the make up artist roll her eyes. “I’m guessing we’ll just have to do a lot of blush today - you’re lucky it’s a trend”

He smiled apologetically, and heard you laugh in the background.

“I honestly have no idea” he heard you say and he tried finding out what question was asked. Right as you continued: “I think he could have something similar to me, or maybe a pain mark. I don’t think he has a tattoo or anything physical on his body, like I know he doesn’t show it off that much, but he also never hides anything or seek comfort in it the same way Jake did” You shrugged.

You were good at analyzing. Hell if you asked him you were good at everything and that made it so hard not to admire you.

“Do you ever think it might actually be her?” Niki asked as the two played a game in his room.

Sunoo sighed. “I don’t know, like sometimes I hope so, but other times I feel so guilty for doing that”

Niki smiled. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about it, whenever I see someone I find attractive I always look down on my pinky, because what if the string actually connected us”

The youngest shrugged. “It’s okay to be hopeful, and just imagine if it’s actually is her, then you’ve known her for a while, not as long as Jay and G but still, it’s more than most of us”

He supposed that was right. It would also be a funny story to tell, how the purples you always had to paint when you were live was because he was watching along.

“I still think it’s unfair I won’t just know, you know? Like with how G just knew when she saw Jay on I-land?” Sunoo said with a small pout.

“Why is that anyways? Never got around to ask you about that” Niki said as he leaned to the left to avoid one of the many obstacles of the game.

“She thinks it’s because she’d kind of already ‘met’ Jay, so he didn’t need to physically be there, she just needed to be reminded of his name and how he looked for the floodgates to open”

Niki laughed. “Yeah, that’s the worst thing about these marks, they don’t follow the same rules. If they did that would be so much easier”

“Do you ever think Sunghoon might just have a touch-mark?” Sunoo asked. He was nosy, he knew that, Sunghoon himself didn’t even intertain the idea.

“I honestly don’t know - and I don’t wanna speculate too much about it. He seems happy either way” Niki said, but Sunoo saw the lack of genuine happiness on his face.

He pushed him slightly with his shoulder. “When did you become so wise?” he chuckled.

“You can thank Jay for that,” Niki said.

Sunoo sat on his bed with his phone in hand as he just stared at it. His thumb was hovering over the send button on the screen. He had debated whether or not this was actually a good idea.

But he just couldn’t help himself. So he pressed it.

A few hours later you were live once again, and you were sitting there staring at the screen. He hoped this would confirm his theory, because if he weren’t right then this was hell of a coincidence.

Two hours after he had sent off his message his vision became such a bright yellow it almost looked white - it was blinding.

He had right then and there decided that that meant you were his. There was no way in hell you weren’t.

The little live notification finally ticked in on his phone, and he had never pressed a link as quickly.

“The most insane thing just happened” You said before you buried your face in your hands. He smiled, well knowing that he was the cause of that.

Your hand hovered over your mouth as he saw the tears well up in your eyes, and he once again fell such longing.

Just tell them - he wrote as a comment from his private account.

He saw that little twitch of a smile on your lips and then you took a large breath.

“Kim Sunoo, my fucking bias, reached out a few hours ago to request a custom painting” you said and you stood up and jumped onto your bed as you screamed into the pillows.

He laughed, glad that he was able to actually see your reaction, even though he was convinced your reaction when you found out had been completely different.

“He wants a sky with every color that I’ve ever seen from my soulmate, every emotion he have ever had - it’s gonna be such an insanely huge piece, and I hope you’ll all follow along when I make it”

You bit your lip: “he’s proud of me” you whispered and the chat went wild.

But you were right, pride was the overwhelming feeling he currently had in his chest.

He saw how you shook your head and once again rested your hands on your lips as you stared into the camera with wondering eyes, as if the puzzle piece finally were starting to reveal the bigger picture.

Don’t spoil it yet - let’s test it out first. Was all he wrote, and he heard the small scream you made, before you turned off the live.

After the live he went straight for Jake’s room, he needed someone to talk to about this feeling inside his chest.

“Come in” he heard from behind the door as he knocked.

“Hey can I pick you brain for a second?” He asked as he sat down on the bed.

“Sure” Jake said before he logged of his game and gave the younger his undevided attention.

“I think I found my soulmate”

Jake froze in whatever movement he was just about to make and stared at him with big eyes.

“What?! How?!” He almost yelled.

“Please be quiet, I’m not completely positive yet”

“You better start talking before I call all of them in here” Jake said with a sinister smirk, Sunoo laughed.

“Do you remember Y/N?” He asked.

“Yeah, she’s the painter right?” Jake asked and Sunoo nodded as he started fidgeting with his ring.

“I’ve noticed whenever she’s live and I’m watching her paint, that the colors she sees are mirrors of my own emotions. When i’m stressed she’s painting orange, when I’m happy she’s painting yellow, and when I …” he sighed. “When I long for my soulmate she’s painting purple”

Sunoo ran his hand through his hair a few times. Trying his best to steady that beating heart of his. He had never shared any of this before. It felt like peeling back a layer and exposing a part of himself he had never shown to anyone.

“So I asked her for a custom piece” Sunoo said.

Jake looked like he was about to scold him, but he raised his hand to finish his confession.

“And I felt this pull” he said and made a tugging motion with his hand, right where his heart were.

The previously worried expression of Jake changed, and a genuine happy smile broke out on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m with you dude. She’s def yours” Jake bit his lip, and it made Sunoo wanna roll his eyes but he reeled it in.

“Are you sure? I mean with Jay and Won…” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before Jake interrupted him.

“It’s different for them, their mark makes it somewhat possible for them to communicate. Jay more than Won, but still the whole chocolate debacle pretty much proved it’s possible” Jake leaned back in the chair.

“For us it’s different” he gestured between them. “Our mark is something we can’t control, so our pull to them is different, and the tug on the heartstrings - yeah that’s one of them… I was more in a trance as soon as I heard her voice, but the tug was definitely there. I even think Won felt something similar if I’m not wrong”

Sunoo smiled a smile wider than Jake had ever seen.

“Thank you Jake” he said and the Aussie saw how the tear welled up in Sunoo’s eyes. He pulled him to his feet and into a hug.

“No problem”

He was nervous. And kept shifting his weight from one leg to another.

You had reached out after the painting was finally done, And he had somehow convinced you to come to Seoul to deliver it personally.

Okay, it hadn’t taken that much convincing, but still it was a long trip to take with a canvas as big as the one you had been using.

So now he stood there in a practice room in the Hybe building, cameras all around to possibly document his meeting with what he was 98% sure was his soulmate.

The cameras had been your idea, you wanted to make the whole experience into a little “come with me to give my bias a painting”-vlog.

He took a deep breath, and then he heard it, the somewhat muffled. “Oh shit, please please be careful. I’ll lose it if it breaks so close to the finish line”

His heart sped up by the sound of the voice.

And then you entered and his heart stopped. You were painted in the green and turquoise colors of anxiety and nervousness. But god you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Even more beautiful as you stood here before him.

You smiled a large smile, but your eyes never left the floor, as if you refused to meet his own. The anxiety had quickly been replaced with longing, so why wouldn’t you just look at him?

He bowed as he said his hello, and thanks for meeting him. It was awkward and clumsy, but still it was somehow fitting.

“Do you wanna see it?” You had asked after returning the pleasantries.

He stepped closer to you, as the two of you had turned your bodies towards the canvas. “Yeah, but can you look at me first?” He said with a small smile, desperate.

All he heard was a whimper and his whole body reacted before he could form a single thought. His hand was caressing your cheek and his other arm was around you waist. Sunoo knew he should be embarrassed, but he couldn’t care less.

“Are you okay?” He said silently, desperately.

You nodded, and as you stilled his thumb slowly caressed your cheek. Still, you didn’t lift your eyes to mee his.

“Please look at me” he said, and the yearning in his voice were clear for everyone to hear. But he didn’t care that he was in a room full of people, all he cared about was you.

“I can’t” You finally mustered as a tear slipped from you eye, he brushed it away quickly.

“You can” He said with what he hoped was a reassuring and not mocking chuckle.

A sigh escaped you and he could feel you shake beneath him. “I’m scared…” You finally got the courage to muster.

Instead of pressuring you, he let you be, let you express yourself in your own tempo.

“I’m scared that I’m wrong”

He smiled. “That we’re wrong. And if we are we’ll take it from there” he pulled you a little closer. “But I can tell you that if we’re right, the all you’re feeling right now is slight embarrassment, longing and love”

Your eyes shot open and you were met with the widest smile from him. His hand snaked from your cheek to the back of your neck and he squeezed it teasingly.

“There you are” He said.

And the the world exploded into color.

The two of you gasped as the pink-ish hues were quickly replaced by the actual colors of the world. He laughed as he rested his forehead on yours.

“I knew it” he said, and right after you flung your arms around his neck as you pulled him close to you.

He lifted you from the ground and spun you around, earning him a laugh.

“You’re mine?” You asked with surprise in your voice.

“It seems so” he pulled you into yet another hug and as you seperated it was your turn to reach out for him.

You caressed his cheek, and saw how his eyes almost disappeared when he smiled. “I can’t believe it” the words were so small he almost didn’t pick up on it.

He turned you towards the canvas as a his arm draped around your hips. “Now let’s see what you made me” he kissed the top of your head and your entire body shuddered at the intimate gesture.

You nodded to the two men who had been holding it, and the loosened the bow that held the protective cloth over it.

And as it slipped away Sunoo felt his mouth open slightly in chock. It was a beautiful explosion of colors, colors he could now see at the same time.

He once again pulled you closer to him. “It’s beautiful” and you heard how his voice almost betrayed him and gave after for the sobs that threatened to spill out.

“Just like you” you said.

In this moment neither of you had felt more loved or more seen, and that lilac longing were now substituted for pink and red love.

Taglist: @why4anne @juicygirl4life @azzy02 @bluxjun @why-did-i-just-do-this @elairah @ramyeonzwithspam @floating-moon-dust @skyearby @acourtofmoonlightandstars @garrdenwonie @whateveridontcaresheesh @stormy1408

[bodyhopper-files]

After Hours at the Stadium

Mitchell stood in the dim glow of the stadium lights, his phone raised, his proud fatherly face beaming as he snapped photos. Jackson stood before him, his singlet stretched tight over thick, powerful muscles, flexing under his father’s proud gaze. His broad shoulders gleamed under the artificial lighting, the tight fabric emphasizing every inch of his defined frame.

The big college championship wrestling meet had ended hours ago. The crowd had cheered, the mats had been rolled up, and the other wrestlers had long since left. But to all outside appearances, Jackson, a 19-year-old stud jock at the peak of his athletic prime, was still here, basking in his father’s admiration.

"Now flex a little harder for me, son," Mitchell said, voice dripping with admiration.

Jackson grinned, sweat still glistening from the meet. "Gee, Dad, I don't know if I can flex any harder! My muscles are already SO big in this LITTLE singlet!"

Mitchell chuckled. "That's because you're my big, strong GROWING boy!"

Jackson swelled his chest with pride, striking pose after pose. The empty arena was theirs alone now, the crowds long gone, and Mitchell was drinking in every moment with a glimmer in his eyes, snapping shot after shot.

"Gosh, son, I am so PROUD of you."

Jackson laughed, feeding off the energy, his flexes becoming more exaggerated. "Oh, Dad, you know JUST what to say!"

And then... the illusion cracked.

Mitchell lowered the phone slightly, exchanging a look with Jackson. A knowing look. A dark look.

They weren’t Mitchell and Jackson at all.

Their names were actually Gary and Lou, two lowly stadium crew members who had been lurking in the shadows long enough to develop a deep, gnawing jealousy. The real Mitchell and Jackson had been their chosen targets this time. A father-son pair they had studied, watched, envied. And now, they were them—at least for the night.

Gary, now appearing as Mitchell, grinned as he admired his supposed “son.” Lou, now Jackson, flexed his borrowed muscles with a smug, indulgent glee. The fabric of the singlet hugged his body like a second skin, a perfect replication of the physique he had admired from afar only hours ago that same evening. It felt real—because for now, it was real.

It had all started when Gary found the device. An ancient, alien relic buried beneath the stadium grounds during routine maintenance. A simple, unremarkable stone… until he touched it. The symbols carved into its surface pulsed, their meaning seeping into his mind, a whisper from the cosmos beyond:

"Only within the boundary of its finding does the change hold. Only those who have walked its grounds may claim another’s shape. Beyond this place, the truth will reclaim its own. The transformation cannot follow where the power does not reach."

Gary had understood immediately. The transformation would only work within the stadium’s radius. They could only take the form of those who had set foot inside. And once they stepped beyond its unseen boundary, their true selves would be restored.

That last rule was their only limitation, but within these walls, they were gods.

And they had gotten good at it.

"Well, son," Gary said, the smirk of a man who knew he was getting away with something spreading across his face. "Why don't we go get some photos of you in the locker room?"

Lou—Jackson—grinned back, his borrowed, handsome jock face flushed with excitement. "I LOVE that idea, 'Dad.' I'll show you what else of mine has been growing..."

The two chuckled darkly as they made their way through the vacant hallways, reveling in the power they held. The stadium was their playground. The stolen lives their entertainment. And when the night ended, they’d slip back into their ordinary, unremarkable bodies, waiting for the next event… and their next victims.

Because jealousy wasn't enough. They wanted to be them, if only for a little while. And from the shadows and dark corners of the stadium, they always found their next prey.

Original AI illustration by @bodyhopper-files

[mirror-and-mind]

Thinking. Maybe making Kon Kusu more disengaged from the narrative, and making him more focused on the physical rather than the psychological salvation of humans, were calculated decisions.

For one thing: Kon Kusu carries a yin-aligned sword. And the energy of yin is passive and receptive. Although he comes across as extroverted and energetic, he actually spends quite a lot of time just... sitting around, watching and listening to the humans. He's very much mindful of what they're doing and saying to each other, but unlike Ri Kusu, he almost never asks any questions. Others ask the questions, and he absorbs the answers. He isn't merely passive; he's a passive receiver. This may be an aspect of him that's dictated by the yin energy of his sword, in spite of the chatty nature he sometimes exhibits.

He's also much more physical than Ri Kusu. He likes food. He touches things. A lot. More than he expresses empathy for or interest in the humans' minds, he's interested in the protection of their physical bodies and in the fate of physical objects. It's the objects washed up from the well that he ends up kneeling over in the end, after showing no reaction to the fates of their human owners.

The only times he really engages with witnesses about the mononoke, it's object-oriented. He asks Asa about Kitagawa's feelings, but he never asks for specifics. Instead, he touches his sword (very provocatively). Maybe that gesture isn't random. Maybe there's a link between his orientation with the physical and the way he absorbs information - less intellectually, more viscerally.

And the only question he asks Utayama herself about the mononoke is, "What did you throw away?"

I think there's a good chance that Kon Kusu himself has a close link to physical objects. In the Karakasa light novel, he's compared to a doll by both Asa and Utayama. He may even be connected specifically to Kitagawa's doll. That could be what's implied by Karakasa's final scene, where the doll finally gets her umbrella back at the same moment an umbrella-raindrop touches Kusu's hand. The doll smiles - and though we can't see more than Kusu's eyes at the time, we might guess he's smiling too.

@teacakesmgeethesecond has suggested that he might be a tsukumogami, an ayakashi created by an object gaining a soul. I think there's a good chance that he is, in part, a tsukumogami born from a doll. It would make sense then that his empathy is directed at the objects that became the Karakasa - tsukumogami themselves, turned malevolent by how thoughtlessly they were thrown away. That physical connection also focuses him on the safety of humans' bodies, and less so on engaging with their minds.

(Which isn't to say he's not interested in their minds - but Karakasa is specifically about objects as symbols and vessels of their owners' hearts, and maybe Kon Kusu simply comes at them from that angle instead of through their intellects.)

Hinezumi seems likely to focus on the physical as well, with the plot centering around Fuki's pregnancy and the potential threats it poses to her body.

So I think it's plausible that Kon Kusu comes across exactly as he's designed to - very different from Ri Kusu, because he's built differently and his origins give him a different set of priorities.

Which isn't to say I don't want to see more of his personality in Hinezumi and see him engage more - but I suspect that whatever else he does, he's unlikely to become like Ri Kusu, and will probably remain very much a passive watcher and more of a protector than an investigator.

[artinventor]

So after watching 8x17 I was informed that originally Dean was supposed to say “I love you” in the crypt instead of “I need you” but tbh the change makes more sense to me and might even be even worse than if he said “love”. Dean shows his love in everything he does, shows it plenty with everything he was doing in purgatory, but for him to not only NEED you but to admit it,,,

“I need you” was was more powerful and more in character for both of them cuz:

1. I don’t think at this point cas understands human emotion fully or human love for that matter, he’s certainly learning it more as the seasons go on, but it’s not something he’s familiar with right now. So unless dean elaborated more, which he wouldn’t, would he really know what that meant. even though he wouldn’t admit it, dean is actually so caring towards everyone, cas could easily think he could mean any type of love that isn’t special to him. Honestly considering his absent father and the fact that he’s a soldier with no army, which used to be his only purpose, he wants to be needed. Just looking at hippie cas, he turned into that cuz he lost his powers and felt useless.

2. dean is not one that tells people that, he just shows it, and he was already showing it. He never told Lisa he loved her even when he was with her as a stand in husband/father to her son for a whole year, he barely even tells Sam that he loves him and that’s his brother. Also considering who he is and how stubborn he is it’s really rare and means a lot for HIM of all people to say he “needs” you. Dean’s abandonment issues kinda rejects the idea of needing someone, and growing up the way he did, he doesn’t trust easily. Love is a risk, but needing someone is just full on vulnerability. Also it’s just insane cuz it’s like why do you need him dean? surely you’re not doing all that just cuz his angel powers are useful

Though this IS the second time dean said he needs cas, he said it in purgatory earlier in the season as well. Both times he’s pleading with cas, the first time to try and get him to go with him and escape purgatory together and the second time he’s trying to get through to him past the mind control. The second time being in a much more romantic context. He does say that they’re family before saying it, but then he says “we need you” and changes it to “I need you” which is the main thing that really does it. THEN after he breaks through it, dean asks what broke the connection and they’re both clueless, if it was purely platonic wouldn’t cas, being as blunt and factual as he is, just say that it’s because of their friend/family bond?

[marscardigan]

family line, part i

family line masterlist

summary: falling in love with ellie was easy. it was harder to hate her once you knew she was the one hunting your sister.

word count: 2.7k

warnings: this fic doesn’t follow the original plot of the last of us part ii. canon typical violence. no use of y/n. major character death.

Screams echoed the halls. You screamed for your mother, your voice raw and desperate.

It will be just like old times, she had promised.

Just the two of you.

Your throat burned as you cried out for help, panic propelling you forward as you sprinted through the abandoned cinema. That’s when you saw her.

Your mother’s body, being devoured by infected. Her limbs twitched, still fighting to escape as her shattered voice called out your name.

You stood frozen, unable to process the horror unfolding before you. Then, instinct took over. You turned and ran, your little legs carrying you as fast as they could.

Tears blurred your vision, distorting the world around you. You didn’t stop until you crashed into a taller figure. Your sister. Her arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly as her worried voice bombarded you with questions—about Mom, about whether you were hurt, about where she was.

You didn’t answer. You just buried your face in her chest, letting yourself sob uncontrollably. She held you close, refusing to let go.

Later that day, back at home, you faced the truth. You told them what happened—that your mother wasn’t coming back because she died protecting you from the infected. Your words were choked with tears as your father pulled you into his arms, whispering that it wasn’t your fault and that he was grateful you were safe.

But you knew your father.

He cried every night before tucking you into bed, mourning his beloved wife. Abby cried too.

It isn’t your fault, hon. You were just a kid.

You were just a kid. But you knew the truth. It was your fault. You were the one who wanted to see the big screen, who ignored your mother’s warnings and opened the door crawling with infected. But you kept that to yourself.

Now, ten years later, her screams still haunted your nightmares. You woke up drenched in sweat, your skin burning. Trying not to wake Nora, you slipped out of bed and quietly left your dorm. The stadium lights were off—it must’ve been late. You made your way to your sister’s room, but just as you raised your hand to knock, you heard a muffled moan from inside.

Fucking Manny.

A voice echoed down the hallway, making you flinch. Owen.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?"

"So should you," you retorted, avoiding his gaze. Why did he always have to sound like that? That stern tone reminded you too much of your father.

"I’m guarding this floor, smart-ass."

"Well... I was looking for Abby."

Even from a distance, you saw his expression shift. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice your red eyes or shaking hands.

"Come on. I’ll show you where she’s sleeping."

Owen didn’t ask why you needed your sister. Over the years, he’d learned to respect the bond between you two. And although he often voiced his concerns to Abby about how dependent you’d become on her, she always shut him down, fiercely protective.

The walk was silent. He glanced at you a few times, but you were too exhausted to care about his concern. All you wanted was to be with your sister.

Owen stopped outside a dimly lit room, his hand resting on the door frame. "She’s in here," he whispered, his voice softened by an unusual gentleness. "I’ll be around here if you need anything."

You gave a quick nod, not trusting your voice to stay steady. He lingered for a moment before walking away, his footsteps fading down the hall.

Taking a deep breath, you quietly pushed the door open. The room was small and sparsely furnished, but the faint moonlight spilling through the window made it feel safe. Abby was sprawled on the couch, her body tangled in the sheets, blonde hair tousled across her face.

For a moment, you just stood there, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. It was a sight that brought back memories of nights spent curled up beside her, when she was the only thing that could chase away the nightmares.

You closed the door softly behind you, shuffling across the floor with practiced silence. As you stood by the couch, your shoulders started to shake, the weight of the nightmare pressing down on you again. The screams echoed in your mind, relentless and cruel.

"Abby…" Your voice came out as a broken whisper. "Please… I need you."

Her eyes fluttered open, groggy and unfocused at first. But the second she saw you standing there, trembling and small, she was wide awake. She sat up instantly, her arms reaching out. "Oh, bug, come here."

You didn’t hesitate. You crawled into the couch, letting her wrap you up in a tight embrace. Her warmth surrounded you, grounding you, anchoring you back to the present.

She stroked your hair, her fingers gentle and soothing. "Another nightmare?"

You nodded against her shoulder, unable to speak as the tears started to flow. She held you tighter, her chin resting on your head. "It’s okay. I’ve got you."

Her words were a soft murmur, but they cut through the terror, easing the knot of fear in your chest. She started to rock you slowly, the rhythm steady and familiar. It didn't matter how many years passed, because Abby would still choose this over and over again. She ignored her heart pounding in her chest, the anxiety creeping in, because in her eyes, you were eight again, covered in your mother's blood, and begging for your big sister.

“I’m here,” she whispered, her voice fierce with determination. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you. Not while I’m here.”

The room was quiet except for your shaky breaths and her steady heartbeat. Abby’s grip was strong, unyielding, as if she could shield you from every shadow that haunted your dreams.

Her fingers continued to trace comforting patterns along your back, her presence easing the burning ache in your chest. “You’re safe. I promise.”

Your breathing began to slow, the tears finally subsiding. You pressed closer to her, letting her warmth lull you into a sense of security.

Abby shifted, pulling the blanket over both of you. “Close your eyes,” she murmured, her lips brushing the top of your head. “I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

Her steady heartbeat thumped beneath your ear, and for the first time that night, the screams began to fade. You closed your eyes, her promise echoing softly in your mind.

And this time, the darkness felt just a little less frightening.

Your room was a mess of wires, gears, and half-finished gadgets. Sparks flew as you twisted a screw into place, securing the casing of your latest creation. The metallic shell gleamed under the dim light, and you couldn’t help but grin. Just a few more tweaks, and this smoke bomb would be perfect.

The world always felt quieter when you were working on something—when your hands were busy, and your mind was racing with ideas.

A soft knock pulled you from your concentration. You looked up just as Abby stepped into the room.

"Hey bug," she said, her voice careful, gentle. Too gentle. "Got a minute?"

You set down the screwdriver, nodding at her.

Abby hesitated, her eyes scanning the cluttered room before resting on you. "You’ve been busy," she noted, nodding to the gadgets scattered across your desk. "This one’s new?"

You followed her gaze, your chest warming with pride. "Yeah. It’s a smoke bomb. Should cover about ten yards in thick smoke."

Abby smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. "You’re brilliant, you know that?"

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but before you could reply, her expression darkened. She leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms tightly. "We found him." Her voice was quiet, cautious. "Joel."

Your heart skipped, the name echoing in your mind. You swallowed, looking away. "Oh."

"He’s in Jackson," she continued, "we’re sure this time. It’s really him."

You turned the smoke bomb over in your hands, tracing the grooves in the metal. You knew this day would come sooner or later, and asking if she was going after him was pointless.

"Please don't go" was all you whispered.

Abby was always the strong and fearless one, and she'd been fighting for a long time. No one could change her mind on anything, not Owen or even her dad when he was there. Only you could do that. You were her weakness, her Achilles' heel.

But this was different, and you knew it.

"Please" you repeated, getting close to her.

Abby avoided your pleading eyes, and put her hands on your shoulders. "We're leaving tonight. Get your stuff ready."

You sank into her embrace, heart pounding as the weight of her decision settled over you.

The air was heavy with tension as you paced the old, creaking floorboards of the abandoned house near Jackson. Your gadgets were laid out on the table, half-assembled bombs and tools scattered in organized chaos, but your mind was elsewhere.

Abby had disappeared at dawn without a word.¡, and even if her friends tried to calm you down countless times, you knew something was wrong. You knew your sister, and even if she was impulsive, she was also cautious. She wouldn't take this long.

Manny’s voice broke the silence. "Relax, she’ll be fine. She’s Abby."

You hugged your knees to your chest, perched on the torn couch, unable to shake the unease. "She should’ve told me where she was going."

Nora shot Manny a look, then sat beside you, her hand warm on your shoulder. "She’ll be back soon. Just… try to breathe, okay?"

Hours passed, and Abby finally came back. With company, two men. The first—a lean man with salt-and-pepper hair and piercing eyes—had his hands tied behind his back, blood dripping from a cut on his brow. The second was older, his graying hair matted with snow. He stood tall despite the bruises forming on his face.

You ignored them at first, running towards your sister and hugging her tight. "You scared the shit outta me."

But Abby didn't hug you back, she moved you softly, pushing you aside. "I know."

You could feel something was wrong as you started biting your nails.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Owen whispered to Abby, unaware of you looking at them. They left seconds after, and your anxiety just worsened up. Everyone chose to follow them, so you did the same. One of the males kept talking to Mel, who kindly answered his questions. The other one, though, kept his mouth shut, his body not relaxing for a second.

"So how long you all been here?"

"Since yesterday." Jordan answered.

"And what are y'all doing out this way?" The other man asked, standing in the center of the room.

You stayed close to the door, not liking the scenario in front of you.

"Oh" Jordan moved closer to Abby. "We're just passing through. You two live nearby?"

"We do. A few hours down the hill. Y'all should come back with us. Restock before you head out."

Mel stayed by your side, crossing her arms. "Appreciate it. I'm Mel, by the way."

The woman moved close to the guy, who shook his hand back. "Tommy. And this is my brother."

"Joel."

Your heart stopped beating then. The environment of the room changed. Everyone seemed to get it, and all of them tensed.

"Y'all act like you've heard of us or somethin'."

Abby’s face twisted, her knuckles turning white around the gun. "That's because they have." In one swift motion, she raised the shotgun and fired right by Joel's knee.

The blast echoed through the room, and Joel’s leg buckled, blood spraying across the floor as he collapsed with a cry of pain.

Your body moved on instinct, stumbling backward until you hit the wall. Your pulse raced, the room spinning as you watched Abby advance on him, her face a mask of fury.

“NO!” Tommy shouted, struggling against his bindings, but two of Abby’s people held him back.

"Get the other one!" Owen screamed back.

Nora acted swiftly and smashed her gun right above his head, knocking him down instantly.

You weren't used to all this violence, and suddenly an urge to throw up overtook you. Why this felt bad? You felt sick.

"Nora? All clear?"

The girl aimed at the man still, looking out at Owen. "He's out."

Now it was Abby's turn to talk, her voice steady. "Put him against the wall."

“Abby, stop!” you got closer to her, even if your legs threatened to stop walking. “What… what are you doing?”

She didn’t look at you, her focus locked on Joel as he writhed on the floor, clutching his shattered leg. "Tommy..."

Two men grabbed Joel's body and pushed him hard against the wall, just as Abby ordered, ignoring the threats that came out of his mouth. The blonde knelt down in front of him, gaze cold. "Joel Miller..."

The man didn’t flinch, his gaze steady as he looked her in the eye. "Who are you?"

Abby’s expression twisted with rage, as her voice shattered. "Guess."

Silence became present inside the suffocating basement.

"Why don't you say whatever speech you've got rehearsed and get this over with."

Abby stood up as she gave the shotgun to Owen, not daring to look at you when she whispered to Mel, "Tourniquet his leg."

Mel stayed still, looking at the blonde confused. Your voice was low when you called your sister name, "Ab-"

"Do it!"

Even Owen looked at her with mixed emotions. But Abby ignored it, and grabbed a golf club. Your nails digger harder and deeper into your palms, suddenly unviable to breathe.

"Don't you fuckin' move."

Mel did as Abby said, even with Joel cursing under his breath.

"Clear out."

Your chest tightened, panic surging through you as the reality of the situation crashed down. "Abby." you warned again, your vision blurry.

Her shoulders stiffened, her jaw clenched. For a moment, you thought she might listen. But then she turned, her eyes cold and empty. "You stupid old man..." she hissed, her voice trembling. "You don't get to rush this."

She hit hard at Joel's leg, making him scream in agony.

"ABBY!" You stumbled forward, your arms reaching out, fingers just grazing her sleeve before Manny’s hands gripped you, yanking you back.

“No! Let me go!” You cried out, tears streaming down your face. “Abby, don’t do this! Please!” Your voice was broken, shattered by fear and grief. “Just let him go!”

But Abby didn’t turn around, she didn't want to face you right now, the golf club trembling in her white-knuckled grip. You should've stayed home, she should've known this would be too much for you.

"Manny. Get her out of here." Her voice wasn't even heard with Joel's grunts.

Manny stepped forward, his face conflicted.

"Now!" Abby’s voice cracked, raw with emotion. "Lock her upstairs. Don’t let her out until I’m done."

Your chest tightened, panic surging through you. "No, no, no! Abby, please!” You reached for her, but Manny grabbed your arms, pulling you back.

You fought against him, kicking and screaming, but his grip was tight and strong. "I’m sorry, pequeña. I really am," he muttered, "But Abby’s gotta do this."

He dragged you toward the staircase as you screamed, your voice echoing off the walls. "Abby! Don’t do this! Please!"

The last thing you saw before Manny pulled you upstairs was the club coming down, a sickening crack echoing through the house.

The door slammed shut, and Manny locked it with a click. You collapsed against the wall, your body shaking with sobs. You could still hear the screams below as you covered your ears, rocking back and forth as the world crumbled around you.

You'd thought this would bring you relief, justice, maybe even peace. But as you heard every loud thud beneath you, all you felt was horror.

That woman wasn't your sister, the one who held you close and sang stupid pop songs to make you smile, who'd stay awake with you even if that meant she wouldn't sleep at all.

Suddenly, you were in a house full of strangers, full of people blinded by pain and vengeance. You closed your eyes, trying to not suffocate yourself into madness, but you could still see Joel's blood splattered on the walls.

You fell asleep crying not much later. 

author's note: hi! thank you for reading! excited to start this new fic, got so many ideas! please comment your thoughts <3

taglist !

@kaykeryyy

[anmwrites]

Stubborn

Xaden Riorson x Reader

Hi friends! I was originally planning on posting one of my already written fics, but since this was requested I made it first priority! I hope I did the request justice (and didn't miss anything when I proofing it). Forewarning, I feel like I absolutely suck at ending stories, so I apologize if the ending is terrible >:( This was written as a FMC as well, but please change to whatever makes you feel comfortable when reading.

Warnings: Cursing, slight sexual innuendos (?), and faint mentions of childhood trauma.

Other Notes: Xaden being more fluffy, maybe, than usual; reader being moody and not really knowing why she's upset (I think I put some of myself into that oop); pretty rusty at this so I hope it doesn't suck lol.

I also want to go ahead and say that I take trigger warnings very seriously as someone who has struggled with mental health, so for future fics please let me know if I miss anything. This one felt a little lighter than some fics I've written in the past, but I don't want to hurt anyone in any way. Please always take caution even though I will list any warnings. Your mental health matters!

On that note, I hope everyone enjoys and finds a little escape with our favorite shadow wielder! (Disclaimer: I do not own any photos below)

To say the adjustment to training with and well, in general, to having fliers around was easy is a lie. A complete. Fucking. Lie. The only thing both riders and fliers had in common were the amount of fights they caused with one another. That was it. 

Y/N tried. She really, really tried to make the best of a shitty situation, but she was almost at her breaking point. Especially with Xaden’s ex roaming the halls. She was one bad comment away from Sgaeyl biting her head off for snapping at him. 

“He’s not into her anymore,” Violet said, snapping Y/N out of her thoughts as she stared, more like glared, at the short-haired bitch from across the dining hall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N snipped back. “Yes, you do. You are this close to starting a fight with her. Don’t be like Ridoc, you’re a lot more level headed than him,” she said, pinching her fingers together to show a miniscule amount of space. “Hey! It was one fight,” Ridoc exclaimed from across the table. 

“One fight too many,” Violet mumbled rolling her eyes at their spastic friend. “I’m fine,” Y/N huffed. The entire squad gave her a knowing look. She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, I’ll see you losers in class.” Ridoc gave her a cheerful smile as she stood, everyone else grumbling their goodbyes. 

A silk-like touch wrapped around her ankles as she made her way out of the dining hall. Y/N didn’t have to look to know Xaden sent his shadows trailing after her, a silent inquiry as to where she was going. She just shook her foot, not wanting to think nor speak to her boyfriend. As if Zihnal himself had a personal vendetta against her, though, a rough hand grabbed her arm. 

Y/N turned to find Xaden staring down at her, a hint of concern written in those beautiful eyes. “Where are you going?” he asked. “Kill time before our next class,” Y/N shrugged, refusing to look at him. Truth be told, ever since she found out Cat was Xaden’s ex, she really tried to avoid him, a nasty feeling permanently making its home in her stomach. 

“Well, I gathered as much,” Xaden rolled his eyes, releasing her arm. “I can come with,” he suggested, his tone much softer than what the entire riders quadrant would ever hear. “I’m fine, thanks,” she said flatly. Xaden made a face. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” “You’ve been saying that for the past two weeks now. Yet I barely get to see you, and you’re avoiding me.” Y/N just shrugged, “I’m busy.” Xaden scoffed, a darker expression replacing his concerned features. “C’mon,” he said, grabbing at her waist before running his hand along the curve of her body. She felt her breath sweep out of her. “Don’t you miss this?” He leaned in, whispering in her ear. He planted a feather-light kiss on the shell of it, sending heat rushing through her body. 

Y/N almost forgot why she was so mad. Until a nasally voice cut through the air. “Xaden!” she practically shrieked. Y/N cleared her throat, taking a step back out of his embrace. “I’ll see you later,” she mumbled before melting into the crowd. A furious expression graced Xaden’s face as he watched Y/N retreat before turning to face Cat. “What do you want?” he snapped. She sauntered over with a flirtatious smile. “Trouble in paradise?” she drawled. Xaden just crossed his arms. Cat flashed him a saccharine smile, “You know, I can always make you feel better. I do know how to make you feel better.” She smirked, and tried to reach her hand out to touch his face. Xaden shot a hand out, forcefully gripping her wrist. “You don’t get to fucking touch me anymore,” he snarled. Her swaggering facade fell slightly as she squirmed to try and get out of his grasp. 

“Fine,” she snapped. He released her. “You’ll come crawling back to me once you get bored with that one.” Xaden glared at her. “I don’t do sloppy seconds,” he spit before turning on his heel and leaving her. 

__

Maybe you should just talk to him, Nordys, Y/N’s black scorpion tail huffed as they lounged in one of the many fields within the nesting grounds around Aretia. That’s not happening. Nordys’ head swiveled in her direction, coming eye level to her. His green eyes narrowed into slits. You’re being childish. He is your mate. 

One, ew he’s not my mate. He’s my boyfriend. And two, what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey Xaden, I fucking hate your ex-girlfriend. She makes my life and my squadmates’ lives a living hell. Drags up very painful memories from my childhood. Can I please incinerate her?’ Nordys let out a chortle which was eerily similar to a laugh. Yes. Essentially that. He is the wingleader. And I would be happy to oblige by incinerating her and her mount. Y/N smiled softly at the thought, leaning against his side. At least someone understood. 

Tairn just said he would turn a blind eye to it as well. Sgaeyl agreed too. We would have free reign to kill them all, Nordys continued. That’s a shock considering they won’t let Andarna do it. 

Andarna is a petulant adolescent. She must learn patience and discipline. At least that’s what Tairn told me. 

Y/N sighed. I just don’t know what I’d say to him. I’m not mad at him. He’s entitled to have ex’s. I would be shocked if he didn’t. It’s just…I really hate her.  

You are ten times the human she is. You do not need to worry about your position as Xaden’s mate. Y/N groaned, Stop calling him that. Boyfriend, he is my boyfriend. We’ve talked about this. And I’m not worried about my position with Xaden. It’s just…well, I’ve told you before. My mother chased after rich men her entire life. They basically used her for her body and left her in the gutter. 

I will call him as I see fit and you are not your mother. You are a rider, Nordys huffed, before laying his head down and closing his eyes. You need to go to class now, he said after a moment. Y/N groaned again. He was right. She was going to be late, and Professor Emetterio would have her head. Fine. Have fun doing whatever it is you do, Y/N grumbled, gathering her things. Nordys let out a hot breath in her face before launching himself into the sky leaving Y/N to trek to class. 

__

Y/N’s moment of peace was ruined the moment she stepped into combat training. The fliers were gathered on one side of the mat while the riders stood on the opposite side. “I see immersion into our current living situations are going well,” Emetterio mumbled mostly to himself. Professor Devera just let out a quiet laugh from where she stood beside her colleague. Xaden was standing near the door, pointedly staring at Y/N while she was doing everything she could not to meet his hard gaze. 

“Well, since everyone wants to fight everyone outside of this class, we will be pairing riders with fliers,” Emetterio’s voice boomed through the room. There was an audible groan from both sides. 

“Good, now then!” He continued. Y/N zoned out as everyone began pairing off while he called names. Only when her name and her opponent was called did she really pay attention. Her blood ran cold as Cat stared back at her with a dark grin on her face. 

“You’ve got this,” Violet whispered from her right. Rhiannon nodded in agreement from her left. “You’ve been trained by Xaden himself. You’re one of our strongest fighters,” Ridoc came up behind her, clapping her on the back. Y/N just gave them a look before stepping on the mat. “Begin,” Emetterio called. 

Cat smirked and she began dancing around on her feet. “It’s about time we got paired together,” Cat commented. Y/N snorted, watching her closely. Timing was everything. Xaden taught her that. Study your opponent and assess their weak side if possible. Especially when you go to the mat during class. His voice rang clear in her head from all those late nights spent training. 

“Let’s make it interesting,” Cat continued on, “Winner gets Xaden?” Y/N glared back at her, “He’s not some trophy.” She let out a sultry laugh, “You’re right. He isn’t. He’d be one for you, but not for me. You see, we’re royalty, him and I. So it’s just the perfect match.” 

Y/N let out an inhumane snarl before lunging at her. To her utter shock, Cat maneuvered out of her way resulting in Y/N punching the air. She swung around and landed a sweep to Y/N’s legs, knocking her on her face. Fury rippled through her as she swung around trying to knock Cat off her feet with a swift kick, but to her surprise, yet again, Cat took the hit and rolled right back into her stance exactly…exactly like Xaden. 

Her cackle was like nails on a chalkboard. Y/N pushed herself up quickly, going through the next steps just like Xaden showed her, but Cat didn’t miss a beat, moving just like how Xaden would when they trained. 

Y/N froze for just a second, as she watched for the fifth time, as Cat moved just like him. Her moment cost her, and next thing she knew, a fist met her face. Y/N stumbled towards the edge of the mat where Violet and Ridoc caught her and kept her from falling over. “S-she was taught by Xaden. Every single one of his moves. She knows them,” Y/N panted. “It doesn’t matter. Focus,” Vi encouraged. While Y/N thought no one noticed, she was really wrong. Cat got under her skin. Everyone could see it. 

“Finish it,” Ridoc snarled at her, his hard stare on Cat, who was still laughing. “Ready to tap out yet?” she goaded. Seeing red, Y/N shoved herself off of Violet and Ridoc. Faster than she had ever been, she lunged for Cat. Her fist met flesh with the satisfying crunch of Cat’s nose. 

Cat snarled before whipping back up, slugging Y/N in the face again. “You bitch!” she hissed. Y/N laughed, the coppery tang of blood filling her mouth. “You broke my nose,” Cat snarled. “Sucks to suck,” Y/N smirked. “Argh!” Cat exploded, reaching in her belt and ripping out a dagger. 

Y/N had moments to react. She went straight for the onyx hilted blade at her side, barely blocking Cat’s attack before she could leave a permanent scar across her face. She felt a faint sting on her cheek, but that was the least of her worries because Cat lunged at her again. Rage built within Y/N. She began striking back, dodging every one of her blows. She was fairly certain Cat was using her abilities on her to rile her up, but she didn’t care. Part of this anger was all Y/N’s.

She could barely hear Emetterio yelling at them to drop the weapons. Barely hear her squadmates and the fliers edging on the fight. It was turning sloppy. Both began ripping at each other’s hair, trying to cut one another. Until strong arms wrapped around her center, yanking Y/N off of Cat, who’s entire face was bloody. 

“You won,” a soft voice caressed her ear. “Sweetheart, you won. You proved your point,” Xaden’s shadows wrapped lovingly around her struggling form. Y/N was still seeing red. Cat was shrieking profanities at her as her friends were trying to hold her back. “You fucking whore!” Cat screamed, “He’ll come crawling back after he gets sick of fucking your pathetic ass–” “Cat!” Xaden’s voice boomed. 

Y/N snarled and went to lunge again, but Xaden whirled on her, body blocking her with his chest. “Darling, calm down,” he said. “Look at me!” Two hands gripped her face tightly and she felt the fight slowly slip away. Her eyes met his beautiful gold-flecked onyx eyes. “There you go. Calm down. It’s alright, you won,” he was breathing heavily. Nothing but pride filled his face. 

The high wore off and she finally took a moment to breathe. Y/N glanced around and saw Violet and Rhiannon give her a grimace, but they looked happy nonetheless. Ridoc looked like he just had a blast, and everyone else began whispering excitedly as Emetterio dismissed them. 

She looked back to Xaden who was still staring at her intently. “You were fantastic,” he breathed. “I’ve never seen you move that fast. Albeit it got sloppy there at the end, but still.” That ugly feeling resumed its place within her as the reality of what just happened sunk in. “She fought like you,” Y/N whispered. Xaden tensed. “She fucking fought like you because you trained her,” Y/N hissed, stepping out of his grip. 

“Y/N,” Xaden sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. She just shook her head and turned on her heel, storming out. 

“Y/N wait!” his voice followed her out as she stormed through the halls. Y/N nearly made it to her room before Xaden caught her arm. “What is going on with you?” he asked, with an exasperated look. “You fucking trained her Xaden!” she shrieked. Emotion began pouring out of her. “It’s one thing that I have to pretend to be civil with your ex when all she does is spew shit out about how she’s royalty and that I’m just a side-piece! And now I find out you taught her how to fight?” 

“So what if I taught her how to fight?” Xaden snarled, his temper flaring. He could not, for the love of Amari, figure out what the big deal was. “I-I, just don’t know,” Y/N muttered, exhaustion finally sweeping in. She could feel her cheeks dampen as tears rolled freely down her face. Embarrassment coursing through her. She didn’t even know when she started crying. 

Xaden threw his hands up in the air, still clearly frustrated. “You don’t know? You don’t know? I have been trying to talk to you for two weeks now! How many times do I have to tell you that I am in love with you? So deeply in love with you!” he shouted. Y/N just stared at him.

“Are you mad at me? Jealous? What is wrong!” he asked. Y/N opened her mouth and then closed it. Was she mad at him? “No,” she exhaled, “I’m not mad at you. I, I just don’t know why I’m so upset. I mean there’s a very large possibility that Cat has been manipulating my emotions, but I’ve just had this horrible feeling sitting in my gut ever since I found out about your history with her,” she concluded.  “You have nothing to be worried about,” Xaden sighed. “That feeling, my dear, is called jealousy.” 

Y/N just shook her head. In all reality, she really didn’t want to talk about it with him. He knew what her past was, but just because he said it didn’t bother him didn’t mean it never bothered her. 

She pushed open her door planning on slamming it in his face, but he caught it and followed her in. “Just talk to me. Please, baby, just talk to me,” he said quietly, resting his hand on her cheek and wiping a stray tear away. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s just…you were going to marry her. Marry her, Xaden. She’s practically a princess where she comes from. She was practically your first for everything. And she struts around here like she’s still going to be married to you, calling me a whore and all of the other names in the book. Constantly reminding me,” Y/N let out a shaky breath and opened her eyes, "reminding me of where I came from that I so desperately want to forget.” 

Xaden studied her for a moment, his features visibly softening. “You aren’t your mother,” he said quietly. Y/N scoffed. “You really aren’t. You didn’t end up like her.” “What? Fawning over rich, powerful men who only cared when she spread her legs open for them?” Y/N mumbled.

“Is that how you think of us?” Xaden questioned. “No? Yes? I don’t know. It’s just with her here, it’s what it felt like,” Y/N whispered. Xaden let out a breath before wrapping her in his arms. “It’s not,” he murmured into her hair, “It’s more than that. I love you for you. For your light, intelligence, your stubbornness…absolutely everything. She may have been my first but you will be my last. My heart has always belonged to you and will always belong to you in this life and the next.” 

Y/N felt a wave of calm and reassurance wash over her. She melted deeper into his embrace, breathing his all too familiar scent. “I love you too,” Y/N grumbled into his chest, “And I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner.” Xaden chuckled, pulling away slightly. “It’s fine my sweet girl,” he gave her one of his smiles only she was allowed to see. 

“Now can I kiss you or are you going to bite my head off?” He smirked. Y/N rolled her eyes, gripping his face and pulling it down to hers. Xaden’s lips met hers in a fervor. The taste of him all consuming. Kissing Xaden was like a dream, but this? After two weeks of walking on eggshells? Well, Y/N was practically floating. 

His tongue swiped her bottom lip, asking for permission. Y/N happily obliged, parting her lips to give him access. His hands roamed freely all over her body sending lightning cascading down her spine. She let out a soft groan as he deepened the kiss, both of them moving in tandem backwards towards the bed. Y/N hardly registered her legs bumping into it before she fell backwards. The soft duvet fluffed up around her as Xaden followed in suit until he was settled in between her legs. He leaned in bearing more of his weight down and – 

“Oof,” she grunted, a zap of pain shooting up her back. Xaden froze, pushing up off her. “I’m fine,” she whined, staring up at him. “You took a nasty beating,” he commented, pushing fully up and off of her. Y/N just let out another pathetic whine, missing the feel of his lips and body on hers. 

Xaden just chuckled and held out his hands. “Not until you’re cleaned up and feeling better,” he tutted. “Up.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but grabbed his hands. He did have a point. Her whole body had begun aching. “Fine,” she huffed. “But as soon as I’m all patched up, can we go back to kissing?” He let out a glorious laugh, “Yes, love. We can go back to kissing.”

____________

See, I told you my endings are always lame. I'm so sorry. Will also start building a Masterlist soon too.

[antianakin]

Yeah, I think I was focusing more on the worldbuilding aspect of it in this post than the narrative/emotional/character development aspect of it, but I feel like it got discussed in other reblogs back when I first posted this.

I think that that's likely an intended reading, that Anakin WANTED her lightsabers to match his (and Obi-Wan's) in a way that would be immediately obvious. They're meant to represent their relationship and the connection between the two of them, and THAT'S why I think she got rid of them at the end. Practically, she leaves them behind in order to make it look like she died on the moon (although the very obvious grave sites for all the clones is a pretty massive indicator that SOMEONE survived), but symbolically I think it's meant to show that she has to leave that part of herself behind, the optional future represented in those lightsabers. Anankin wants her to come back to the Jedi, wants her to come back to HIM, and that's what the lightsabers are. She says it out loud later to Yoda, that she's not ready YET to come back, but her acceptance of the lightsabers from Anakin tells him something similar nonverbally, too. But after Order 66, that option is gone. So by leaving behind the saber, she is leaving behind the option to be a Jedi again, too.

Setting the worldbuilding aside for a second, it's still pushy. Because Anakin is sending her a very specific message by giving them to her, he's trying to convince her down a specific path, forcing her to either reject the very useful weapons or accept them and everything they represent along with them.

But bringing the worldbuilding back in, it can easily go from pushy to INVASIVE and offensive. In The Gathering, we see those kids have to go through REALLY personal trials in order to acquire that crystal. We see something similar happen with Ezra in Rebels and Cal in Jedi: Fallen Order, as well. Acquiring a crystal is intensely personal to the Jedi. They can obviously pick up other lightsabers and use them just fine, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan do this in AOTC and we see Obi-Wan do it in TCW. So it's not IMPOSSIBLE that there are spare kyber crystals lying around the Jedi temple that Anakin was able to go grab and utilize for his own purposes. But it means removing the crystals that Ahsoka had PERSONALLY EARNED for herself and replacing them with random ones just to make them look like his, without ever consulting her about it. What did he do with the original green/yellow crystals? Are they now down in the Jedi storage, or did he keep them? He doesn't offer them to her at all, just in case she doesn't like what he's done. She has NO OPTION but to accept them as is and accept the loss of the original crystals. And that feels kind-of invasive and offensive to me. Yes, Ahsoka left the lightsabers behind, with the crystals in them, but still. Why would Ahsoka PREFER to have new random crystals from storage instead of the ones she'd earned herself?

Having spare parts, including crystals, in case Jedi need them on a short term basis and can't get to Ilum, is one thing. But replacing someone else's crystals in their lightsabers with random ones just to make them suit someone else's aesthetic purposes and send a deliberate message feels... So Wrong. In so many ways.

Like I mentioned in my original post, you could've gotten a VERY similar emotional gesture by just having him give her back her ORIGINAL lightsabers. It implies that he just carries them around with him everywhere, either as a reminder of her, or in the hopes that he might bump into her and be able to return them, or both. Maybe he can tell her that he's been continuing to maintain it and keep it clean and in good working order. And it keeps the same symbolism of wanting Ahsoka to return to the Jedi and to him, it's a symbol of their prior relationship, a life Ahsoka had chosen to give up but could still return to if she chose to, and then ultimately has to COMPLETELY leave behind later. It would've done all the same things but without the weird creepy aspect of how Anakin changed the color, and honestly I think it just works better.

Anakin changing the color of Ahsoka's lightsabers is such a weird writing choice to make because it honestly makes zero sense with everything we've been shown or told up until then about how lightsabers work.

In the Gathering arc, we see all of the kids pick up what appear to be pretty similarly colored white crystals, but they don't all end up with the same color lightsaber. We hear them discuss the importance of choosing the design of the hilt to suit them, but never once hear them discuss any importance to choosing the COLOR of the saber. There's never any indication that the Jedi can choose the color of their saber, it's effectively chosen for them when they're led to a crystal to begin with.

The only other times we know someone can change the color of a crystal is bleeding and purifying which requires a lot of effort and appears to result only in red or white blades.

So for Anakin to have changed the color of Ahsoka's sabers from green/yellow to blue, either we need to completely discount that worldbuilding and assume that the hilt provides the color somehow and can be engineered differently, or Anakin somehow found two new crystals that he was able to confirm were blue and replaced her crystals with the new ones.

The option was there to just have Anakin have adjusted the design of hilt if they wanted to have Anakin do something to her lightsabers that was invasively sweet in a typically Anakin sort of way, to make them match his and Obi-Wan's more or something. Or if they wanted it to be genuinely sweet, he could've just given her back the sabers normally. And instead, they just... threw out everything we ever knew about the lightsabers just to give Ahsoka sabers that they were going to have her throw away in 3 episodes anyway and never get back. I don't really see the point of it when the lightsabers have no emotional impact upon anything.

[maddascanbe-blog]

Nice to see you again Ma'am. This is the only redesign I'm going to both posting new for and not just update the original picture. Some of this was simple changes in style, and due to resizing issues Chloé's line art got really grainy. But more importantly I want to change Chloé in terms of my re-write, and I want to acknowledge my improvment.

Before we get to that lets talk small design changes. I likes my Anti-bug design originally but it waned on me over time. Recently I did a doodle of Chloé with the actual Ladybug miraculous (a hypothetical heroic) if you would. And translating that to Anti-bug made me much more satisfied with her.

I gave Queen Bee rounded stripes on her OG-redesign, but after looking at cannon again, she just is better suited for sharper shapes. So I changed her legs to something closer to her cannon design, the thigh-high boots feel much more Chloé.

Similar with Queen Wasp, just small changes, this time with her leg stripes just getting wider. I also decided to change her wings back to blue albeit a much darker color than Queen Bee's

Civilian Chloé and Zoé are the same, I already updated kid Zoé a bit for her page so I was able to just keep that asset and move it here.

Re-write. I've changed my opinion on Chloé a bit since I initially planned her re-write. Put simply, the only way I could think to redeem Chloé before was to make her an entirely different person.

Well not anymore. We're gonna rebuild her story from the ground up. First and foremost, Chloé is still a bully. She wants what she wants and doesn't care who gets hurt to help her get it. Now, she's not a full blown villain, because she doesn't need to be. But she does need to be selfish.

Chloé has a very short list of people she cares about. At the moment that includes Adrien, her Father, and Sabrina. Specifically she needs to care about Sabrina for the sake of her downfall and turn around, and later this list would include Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Zoé. She cares about them, and shows it, but everyone else isn't worth her time. This Chloé wouldn't insult Sabrina for not wanting to go through with a plot but she would still go and steal Marinette's diary.

But she also isn't oblivious, Chloé knows the class doesn't like her, he just doesn't care. She can still get what she wants, Marinette's seat, the Class Rep position, Ms. Bustier's favoritism, without the class liking her. Oh uh- small change her though, Chloé was bad at the student complaints and suggestions on day to day school stuff but I head cannon she was good at event organizing. As much of a pain as she was to work with, the school dances 'til now were spectacular. Mostly because I think Chloé needs to be good at something, and event planning is probable.

The first time she realizes her actions may have consequences (at least ones she cares about) is when she gets akumatized. She likes Ladybug, and Chat Noir if not as much. Her actions, her tantrum, not only didn't get her what she wanted but actively hurt two people she actually likes. This doesn't super change her behavior, but it does trigger the realization that she can't get everything she wants, and will in fact do things she doesnt want and cant fix in her wake.

The next is Lila showing up. Because she's spent her whole life around businessmen and politicians. She knows a liar when she sees one. But hey, if her class are idiots its not her business to educate them, its a little frustrating that Sabrina doesn't believe her. She just makes sure Adrien knows, and is surprised to know Marinette also already figured it out.

Then Zombizou happens, and everyone in the class are refusing to leave her alone and are protecting her. On one hand, no she doesn't want to be a zombie. But two, she thinks their idiots for sacrificing themselves over and over. They aren't friends, so why would they care? Then in a split second decision, Chloé gets between the zombies and the heroes. At this point she's acknowledged she's more a burden than a help, and that the heroes will be able to work better if she's out of their way. It's fine, they'll save her anyway. And they do.

This is where her character arc is actually going to start. Not with just with Bustier, but with her just gradually getting less antagonistic. She has her low moments of course. Since she hasn't exactly gotten better, just quieter the incident with the fire department causes Adrien to break off their friendship. And Lila successfully pulls Sabrina away from her. Now Chloé has no one.

And this is when she meets Pollen. Unintentional, but Chloé still loves Ladybug, so of course she wants to help. She doesn't give Pollen back at first, but she wasn't stupid enough to reveal her identity. Chloé is specifically not an idiot. She's actually one of the few who seems to regard Hawkmoth with as much fear as the heroes. She isn't expecting Marinette to turn down the opportunity and for the first time, Chloé see's her mother the way everyone else does. Flighty and Vicious, and uncapable of loving anyone but herself. And at the same moment she realizes that's the direction she's going.

Chloé realizes she's got to change. And she'd going to have to do it alone. Ladybug can support her, but not carry her. Marinette still doesn't trust her has far as she can throw her, and Adrien has his own stuff to worry about.

Then Zoé happens.

[girlwhorizzed]

I WANT YOUR HIGH LOVE AND EMOTION ENDLESSLY..

in which ♡ you show your boyfriend how much you appreciate all he does for you, how selfless he is when it comes to you.

a/n ፧  haii guys :3 i haven't wrote jj in awhile so here!! hope whoever reads enjoys ♡

pairings ፧  boyfriend!jj ✗ reader

warnings ፧  m!receiving, f!giving, blowjob, language, smut, ꒰⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

jj could barely care for himself. going on two-to-three days with the same worn out muscle tank that lost it's original color, and about two days without a shower. another two days without changing socks. he was used to living that way, not that he was proud or anything but he just didn’t care either. he never really minded going out smelling like smoke, he re-wore almost all the clothes he had to his name,

in his head — that was just the image that sold.

that's why, for a guy who can't even properly care for himself— cared for you like he did was surprising. he was surprisingly nurturing in his own way, it was an odd side to him that most people didn’t get to see. he’d bring you food if he knew you hadn’t eaten - even if he’d barely eaten himself, when you had bad headaches he’d be extra soft and caring, he’d always let you steal his clean shirts to wear to sleep in.

you had tried countless times to get this boy to atleast look like he’d showered in the last 2 weeks, but there was no use. he’d roll his eyes and shove you off - “i ain’t dirty mama, get off me" he’d smirk, laughing to himself.

it was a completely different story though when it came to you. you were practically the only exception to his lack of…cleanliness. always making himself presentable when you were coming over, making sure to spray a little more cologne— shave his armpits and put the cleanest or close to cleanest clothes he had, put on deodorant and actually ran fingers through his hair.

no one really knew about the sweet side of him, and he intended on keeping it that way, at least for the sake of his reputation around the island. his persona was that of a guy who only cared about getting by and getting stoned. no one would’ve been able to tell that he was actually a softie on the inside. only you and him knew the way he touched you and held you — like glass.

which is why today, your going to show him how much your appreciate it. , how much you appreciate the times he'd taken you to his home although you knew what went on there. the time he still attended midsummers face scratched up n'all for you even if he couldn't be your date. but it wasn’t as if this would be the first time you’ve reciprocated his efforts. you were always sure to be there for him, to bring him snacks or drinks or whatever you knew he needed after a long day.

you knew he didn’t expect anything in return and that he did it all because he wanted to but, you felt like today you were going to show him how much you appreciated the way he treated you — how he kept you safe and looked after you, even though you could clearly look after yourself.

with nothing left in mind to try and give him that he wouldn't reject, one thing you know he couldn't reject is getting his dick sucked. it's something that he'll push any task to the side for, for example. going to hang out with john b but just when he's leaving— his girl, so pretty and perfect gawing at his shorts. he can't reject that, never. that's your personal mission today and you keep your word to it.

when you get to the dilapidated home that you register as your man's home, his bike out front and front door open, you can already hear him inside the house, laughing and mumbling small-talk with another person— who you assume is a customer, you stay quiet and off to the side, like jj taught you when he's doing business.

he can sense you’re around, even with someone in his home. he always knows when you’re close by — something about him is just like that. his head snaps in your direction for a second, just a glimpse, before he returns his attention back to the business at hand. he knows you’re there to see him, like you always are, just waiting for him to be available. he wishes he could just pull you out and into his arms — right there infront of the guy who’s here for product.

jj's made it very clear and instructive face-to-face with you that it's not he doesn't trust you, it's he doesn't trust them. you'd think for having these guys he does business with in his circle, he'd at least trust them. but no, he’s quick to list the ways he'd harm them if anything ever were to happen to you. making it clear by a simple glare — that you’re off limits. he’s hyper protective over you, and he has a no-bullshit tolerance for anyone who wants to disrespect the boundaries he’s set. he knows they watch you when they think he’s not looking — they see you as some form of eye candy.

you feel a little flushed, cheeks red and warm. you always do when you take notice of that look in jj's eyes whenever he gets all protective over you, it's quick and short but you still take note of it, only catching sight of it every here and now. it's something wrong to feel but you can't help but at least get a tingle, or perhaps a little shiver between your legs. the way his brows furrow instinctively anytime your mentioned in any form thats inappropriate, and how his fists clench— he can't let any guy other than him see you that way. your his girl and although none of his customers are yet to try and chatty up with you, he's still on guard.

he knows how to be scary at the flick of a switch, he’s good at it. especially when it came to his pretty lil girlfriend being around. just the thought made his blood boil. he’d never be able to let it go if anything happened. he’s so on edge tonight that he barely even registers when the guy in front of him excuses himself to go to the bathroom, disappearing round the corner. he’s distracted. his eyes flickering over to you in the corner, his expression quickly softening. it almost seems like he’s missed you.

the paying customer returns back, taking to long for jj's liking— he slides the blonde a fifty during a casual dab-up trying to shield the exchange of money and weed, you notice even though their own jj's premise, they still do the same old tactics if they were exchanging in public— you’re used to this by now, the whole transaction, the way jj’s eyes dart from the guy in his home to your pretty little body all leaned against the doorframe. he’d be lying he said he never got a little thrill of being this close with you, while having a business deal go down infront of him. it was like he was rubbing it in their faces — having you in there while their business was being exchanged. ‘specially this guy, who’s definitely had a few looks that jj’s not happy about.

a couple minutes pass and the customer stills standing in front of the blonde, it ticks jj off even more and he's quick to shoo him off— rushing him out the door with a "c'mon man, get outta here."

he shuts the door hard behind himself, his gaze instantly snapping back to you. he takes the two large steps to close the gap between you both, suddenly grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him — crashing your bodies flush together and you almost let out a yelp, not expecting him to be so rough. you try to helplessly call out his name but he holds you so intensely close that you’re pressed against his chest, which is heaving with heavy breaths, the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

you can feel his tenseness through his shirt, manicured nails massaging his scalp to attempt to lessen his stress, just as your about to suggest that maybe he just needs your pretty lips on his dick— you feel him start to relax into you. the way you touched him had almost an instant effect on him. he let out a shaky and unsteady exhale, his grip suddenly less tight but still as possessive as ever. every time you touched him like this it almost put him in a trance, like you’d just drugged him. he’s been like this for a while, he needs to relax. and you’re the only thing that’ll help.

he buries his face into your shoulder, the tension in his body quickly deflating away. a small moan escapes your mouth as he presses sloppy kisses against your skin. you speak softly and slowly because your starting to understand. he thinks that your going to get whisked away by some guy, whom your not sure you've even seen other than here buying from your boyfriend. "here, this time you stop caring for me, let me care for you."

he almost wants to protest, but the way you sound so sweet and caring is too much for him to deny. he’s tired, he’s agitated and he’s just desperate to lose himself in you. “yeah? and how’re ya gonna do that, mama?” he murmurs, against your skin, voice low and strained. he suddenly lifts his head, so his face is right infront of yours, eyes heavy and lustful as he takes you in.

you let out a giggle, even in this state he still addresses you with that coy little nickname. your not sure how you even achieved it in the first place. "you'll see." you say quickly, you lead him to the couch where most of your hookups always occur, he seems to have muscle memory because he's quick to pin you down and take action, but not today.

his body covers yours, making you feel so small beneath him. it’s a sensation you love — the weight of his body against yours, all that strength and power that you know he has in him. you’re surprisingly strong, managing to shift you both so you’re on top in his place, his eyebrows raising in surprise. he doesn’t let on, but it’s something really sexy to him when you take control.

you slowly get off him, but not without accidentally giving him a little bump through his shorts as your getting off. "sit up." you instruct, already on your knees on the semi-molded wooden floor that you can put up with for now. you've ditched your pretty bow-pink kitten heels and wiped the access clear lipgloss off your lips from his sloppy kiss.

you could see the lift in his shorts, knowing he gets hard at the slight friction. he complies, he doesn’t say a word, but he does as he’s told. he props himself up against the couch behind him, legs spread to fit you right in-between them.

your dainty little hands are on his shorts in an instant, undoing his belt as quick as you'd do whenever jj picked you up some foolish little boxed figurine from some gift shop. once his shorts are down and you can physically see his dick sticking up through his boxers,

his gaze is locked on you, his eyes heavy and lustful with desire, a permanent smirk on his face tugging at his lips, "didn't know you were a freak like that." he joked, of course. at a time like this he cracked jokes.

you look up at him with your brows furrowed. "do you want to get your dick sucked or not?" you asked, straight forward and bluntly. he nods with a hence of speed that his head ought to fall off. you shake yours, giggling till his random erupt comment has you speechless— "don't get mad if my cum gets in your eye again, kay?"

a deep shade of red instantly spreads across your cheeks, his words causing the heat to pool between your thighs. you almost erased that memory from your head. “oh my god.. you’re gross” you huff, but there’s no denying the excitement in your tone.

he chuckles, the smirk he sports still plastered on his face. he’s almost never this relaxed and calm, but having himself pressed in your hands at a moment like this has him like a little puppy — he can’t help himself. he’s got yet another smart ass comment on the tip of his tongue before it gets cut off by a gasp from him, watching as your mouth lowers onto his dick. he can feel it twitch as you look up at him, making him let out a quiet whimper.

he’s trying to keep his cool, still wanting to make a comment or two while you’ve got him in your mouth. it’s hard though; you’re really good at this, he’s got to give you credit. his breathing is labored, one hand clutching the couch arm behind him while the other grabs the back of your head, fingers tangling into your hair instinctively as a moan escapes his lip. you almost want to be on your knees just for him all the time. the things you do to him, all his self control is flying out the window.

at his noises and the facade he's trying to keep up but desperately failing, inspired you to work your mouth faster— swirl your tongue over his tip more than twice. you pull him from your mouth, your lips making a pop noise, the salvia and spit from your mouth connects your lips with his tip, your quick to shove his dick back into your mouth. your little hands are holding him down by his thighs from shifting around, he's all jittery and weak from you.

compliments, praises, curses under his breath. he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, at first. he’s so lost in the sensations you’re sending through him that his mouth is moving without even realising, words that you’re able to understand between his strangled moans.

“just like that, mama, you’re so goddamn good —“ he’s a mess. a sweaty, heavy breathing mess; all your doing. it’s so different from usual, when he has you all breathless and trembling beneath him — it’s all he can take to bite his lip as not to let any more embarrassing noises escape.

you feel his fingers grip a little more at your hair, his noises coming out a little louder. his moans are like music to your ears, the way his head tilts back and his thighs start to twitch at every move you take — it’s really a sight to see him like this. he’s always so confident and cocky, but he’s getting wrecked by you and he’s never really been like this. he’s just so vulnerable and sensitive, it just adds to the whole image of this guy everyone seems to be scared of.

your free hand that isn't holding him down from squirming around is fiddling with his balls— pinching and even taking a few moments to show appreciation to them as well, your mouth gives a minute rest to jj as you cup his balls into your mouth, it's a struggle but you still do so, your working to his finish line. there's spit everywhere, but your only focused on his dick. your lips are quickly back wrapped around him.

it’s just all becoming too much for him to handle, each passing second he’s getting more and more overwhelmed. the noises he’s making are completely foreign, he’s usually so composed and in control but for once he’s willing to give that up in your hands. he’s losing it, all the self control that he’s capable of is gone as he gives in. he manages to form a semblance of a sentence, his head lolled back against the couch and words strangled and strained, “gonna — baby, m'close.. gonna cum!"

you pull away from his dick, his hand still very much pulling on your hair— "c'mon jayj, it's okay, you can do it." you push out, beginning to pepper kisses all on his thighs, before wrapping your mouth around him one last time.

that little praise comment and the amount of pressure built up his release, before you knew it he was whimpering and groaning, tugging at your ends and unable to vocally speak a sentence at the pleasure, without warning— his warm cum shot up right down your throat, your sat on your ass now the abrupt unannounced cum sitting in your mouth, you look up at jj from your position not knowing what to do next. after all jj always guided you.

he’s finally able to form actual words; “shit— sorry mama. just swallow. ” his voice is strangled and breathless, but his softness to you and his tone is still very much there. his eyes are half shut, his chest rising and falling with every heavy breath. he’s waiting on every little move you make,. he’s a pretty sight, all slumped on the couch and wrecked. he needs a few moments before he’s himself again, but for now he’s all yours, completely at your mercy.

you follow what he said, swallowing down the warm liquid from the stimulation you caused, you wipe your mouth afterwards with your hand— still sitting and waiting for what to do next. you look like a little puppy waiting for it's owners instructions, your lips are all plumped and filled with gloss that isn't your typical gloss but it still works.

the look he sees on your face is enough to get him back to his senses, still slightly out of breathe and hazy. he opens his mouth to say something but is quickly cut off by the sight of you still sitting there, clearly waiting for instruction. it’s then that he remembers that he usually is the one to guide you into things like this. he knows you’re lost. “c’mere.” he mutters through a huff of his breath, tugging at your arm.

you lift yourself up onto the couch next to him, a little too eager to do whatever he wants you to — just like usual. he can see it in your expression, he can see that you’re waiting for his guidance. he gives you a little smile, hand brushing his thumb against your cheek. he’s still got that gleam in his eyes, the smirk still tugging at his lips. he’s still him, he’s just recovering himself from such intense pleasure.

“take a drink.” he instructs quietly, nodding towards the glass of water on the table beside the couch. he’s watching you, waiting to see you take a sip. you do as you’re told, taking a long and thorough gulp of the liquid. he’s eyeing you intently, not speaking while you drink. he’s just observing you, taking you in.

once you’ve swallowed down it down, you place the glass back on the nightstand. you feel his fingers graze his way over to your chin, lifting your head up so you’re looking up at him. you’re so vulnerable as you sit there, your big innocent looking gaze staring back at him, waiting for him to give you what to do next. he knows it, he’s well aware of how you are after this type of stuff.

he can’t help but to let out a little chuckle as he sees your expression, soft and vulnerable — wanting to be told what to do. he can’t deny that it’s a turn on for him, you being so soft and willing to do anything for him. he wants to mess with you, see how far he can go and you would do for him. “didn't wanna kiss you if you didn't drink water, would've tasted my own cum.” he chuckles, thumb dragging against your lower lip.

you roll your eyes, slapping his bare shoulder playfully before you took it upon yourself to pull up his boxers, knowing him he would've stayed with his dick out all day. "should've spit it out." you joke, shaking your head judgementally as you switch positions to be facing the opposite way, but still keeping an eye to see his reaction.

he looks offended, like he can’t believe you’d have done that to him. he lets out a scoff, but then his face breaks into a smirk and then chuckling at your joke. he shakes his head, taking notice of your new position. he pulls you by your waist until you’re sitting in front of him on his lap, leaning back into his chest. he presses a little kiss to your temple before resting his chin on your shoulder. “you know i taste pretty good.” he teases, snaking an arm around your waist.

[spinachbobsquarepants]

Things I don't think we're talking about enough in our Wicked For Good speculation:

❥ The fact the Yellow Brick Road hasn't been built yet in part 1 and that in the leaks we have of part 2, it appears to still be in progress

❥ Boq's handkerchief, which wasn't in the original show but seems like it will have some significance

❥ On a similar note, the little Elphaba doll that the Wizard gives to her

❥ The podcasts with the makeup artist in which she reveals WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION about part 2, especially the Scarecrow and Tin Man transformations

❥ The literal vision of Doctor Dillamond in a cage that Elphaba has in part 1

❥ The fact we already have this (albeit very low quality) picture of part 2 Boq and Nessa

❥ This picture which seems to take place in between act 1 and act 2 of the musical (he seems to be in the mansion, and his hair is shorter which the makeup artist said would happen in part 2)

❥ Ethan Slater saying that Boq gets set on fire at some point

❥ The theory that Nessa flies, it's probably been talked about already and it might not happen but I find the idea interesting

❥ Bowen Yang confirming Pfannee and Shenshen are still somewhat relevant in part 2

❥ As an extention of this, what this might mean for other characters who weren't relevant/didn't exist in the musical, like Feldspar and Dulcibear

[cefalosphorine]

Thank you

I hate this line so so much. It takes away every actually meaningful discussion about how science is inherently political and flattens it into the most trite, mean-spirited message possible.

It would have been depressing enough had they just proved Heimerdinger right and said all magic is bad. But for whatever reason they simultaneously did say magic is dangerous and corrupting but then took it back by showing a bunch of mages with debatable ethics just fucking around unrepentant and unquestioned. (And before people start coming at me with technicalities, the show explicitly says the Arcane in general - so all magic - is evil, not "one specific subspecies of lore-compliant magic". It also gives the audience no tools to even distinguish different kinds of "Arcane" or seems preoccupied with following pre-established magic lore. I mean, since when was Hextech evil and world-ending in LoL?)

So what moral are we actually left with? Magic is bad, kids - but actually, only when you want to use it in a humanitarian way, if you're born a mage you have the divine right and privilege to do whatever you like. If you're not so lucky - well, that's God's will and the most wholesome thing you can do is to just accept suffering (even if you're being murdered by the consequences of decades of ecological apartheid). Wanting to help people and revolutionize society is unnatural and punishable, the best ending possible is to return to the status quo.

Imagine if someone had told me the original LoL Hextech lore with telepathic arachnids would still be better than the retcon. At least it was thematically integrated in the context of Piltover's colonialist economy. The characters and audience deserved so much better than these random lukewarm pseudo-philosophical platitudes on a 2014 galaxy leggings backdrop.

Also, doesn't stating that the Arcane is intrinsically bad absolve Viktor of any responsibility for what happened? He didn't want to use it and from the second he was brought back he couldn't have any chance against an Evil Force. So what fault does he have really? I mean, he literally gets a hit to the head in the last episode and is suddenly sane again, that just screams "this guy is possessed and has no idea what's going on" to me. Jayce is a hypocrite and a horrible friend since he knows this and still uses him as a scapegoat and lets his memory be tarnished.

This is where Season 2 shit the bed in the Hextech storyline. Kiss nuance and the corrupting influence of power goodbye. Magic itself is going to make you eeeeevil and punish you for using it.

Jayce and Viktor, you were oh so presumptuous for wanting to improve lives and give magic to people who weren't born with it. I bet you feel REAL stupid now!

Fuck Season 2 for proving Heimerdinger right. This ancient, self-righteous, inattentive little fluffball was the real villain in Season 1 and you can fight me on that.

[lohotine]

``Philophobia``

Shadow Milk x Truthless Recluse

(Author's notes at the end, not heavily proof read)

"The moon is quite beautiful tonight. Is it not?"

When had he appeared on the balcony?

Perhaps he had been there even before the blonde had, though only choosing to show himself now.

After all, he can do whatever he pleases in his domain.

"There isn't a moon cycle here. It looks the same every night."

But it was quite nice..

"Ah, of course! Silly me, how could I forget?"

The most simple explanation was that he hadn't. Shadow Milk Cookie was never the type to simply "forget."

He obviously came here for some reason, but Pure Vanilla currently lacked the patience to deal with him.

Pure Vanilla sighed and looked down, strands of golden hair falling onto his face. "If there isn't a reason for this talk, I'll be heading to bed."

He began to leave without a response; and for some reason, Shadow Milk seemed to be allowing it.

How odd.

Pure Vanilla stood in front of the balcony door, fixated on the silver handle.

Stunning engravements were carved on it. They were, though he only reluctantly admitted it, quite intricate. The moonlight found its way to accompany the little design in a way that elevated it greatly.

He found it hard to believe that Shadow Milk had paid such close attention to something so... pointless.

As Pure Vanilla turned the handle (or attempted to) and saw that the door had not budged, it became evident that Shadow Milk was not keen on having him leave so easily.

That explains the unusually passive behavior...

Pure Vanilla said nothing.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Come back here. I just want to talk to you."

His tone sounded like he was speaking to a dog. It was absolutely degrading, and Pure Vanilla hated every moment of it. Yet...

Pure Vanilla walked back to the railing of the balcony.

What else would he do?

Another silence engulfed them.

"What do you want?"

Shadow Milk clicks his tongue. "Oh my, such hostility! I've barely done anything yet..."

The blonde wishes to rip that blue jester to shreds... or at the very least send him a repulsive glare.

Though, he resists these urges and instead keeps his gaze fixated on the moon.

He thinks looking at his tormentor will only make him more angry.

"I was just bored. Didn't feel like torturing your friends. Black Sapphire's busy, and I... can't be bothered to deal with Candy Apple."

Ah, he recognized that name. She certainly was loud.

Pure Vanilla overheard from one of her fan-girling rambling sessions that Shadow Milk's original home was the dark side of the moon.

Well, he technically had already been aware of that fact... but it only reocurred to him now.

Pure Vanilla continued staring at the full moon.

Behind this beautiful face was a dark and cold plane of existence.

It was undoubtedly lonely...

Was that place really what Shadow Milk called home?

"Do you miss it?"

Shadow Milk looks at him, confused.

"...What?"

Pure Vanilla's gaze never falls from that ethereal celestial body. "Your home."

And though the response is thoroughly lacking, Shadow Milk seems to understand.

And he laughs at the thought.

"Why would I ever miss a place like that? It's boring, and..."

Pure Vanilla's gaze meets his own.

How could I miss that place when my other half resides here?

"And it's empty."

Not technically a lie. Everything does feel abnormally dull and utterly lacking when he is not with Pure Vanilla.

Surely it's just because he owns part of his soul jam..?

"I can imagine," Pure Vanilla would say.

You can't. Isolation is devastating.

But he took the comfort anyway. "Being here is much better. Especially since I get to be here with my other half~" Shadow Milk grinned with an impudent look.

"I am not your other half-"

Shadow Milk places a finger in front of his lips. "Shh. You've been talking too much today." Shadow Milk continued to bask in the silence, gazing absent mindedly at the multicolor eyes.

Shadow Milk feels himself staring a bit too much, but... it's just to annoy Pure Vanilla, right?

And when he moves his hand up to cup his face, that too is surely just to annoy the other..

"You've been staring for quite some time now," Pure Vanilla says. He's met only with a small hum. Shadow Milk remains as shameless as ever with his staring.

Then, he looks at the key design that adorns his robes. "So, Pure Vanilla- oh, I guess you go by Truthless Recluse now, huh?"

Shadow Milk struggles momentarily to come up with a fun nickname for that.

"I think I'll just continue saying Nilly. You're fine with that, right?"

"No. I never said-"

Shadow Milk gently tucks a strand of the other's hair behind their ear, interrupting them.

It's only after the sudden silence that he realizes how intimate the action was.

Ah, how shameful! A beast should never have been caught dead doing something like that...

"Um-" Shadow Milk shakily removes his hand from the others cheek. "The point is.."

He diverts his gaze so quickly it's almost embarrassing. Just mere moments ago, he had been so keen on messing with the other!

Why was he the one getting blushy instead?

Pure Vanilla just remained silent; watching the spectacle with, albeit only slight, amusment.

"Oh? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong- I just..."

Got flustered? Became overwhelmed? He couldn't admit to such humiliating emotions!

Pure Vanilla slowly placed his palm against the other's, and though it's cold to the touch, he remains there all the same.

"I must say, I never thought you were the type to get embarrassed over things like this."

When had he become so bold!?! And since when was he the one in control of the situation?

"Just what do you think you're doing..."

Pure Vanilla's gaze softens. It must have been extremely lonely being trapped all of those years if such a simple action was enough to get him like this.

And an action that he himself initiated, nonetheless.

"Nothing that you haven't already done to me."

Pure Vanilla gently interlaces his fingers with the others.

How strange... Why was he entertaining something like this?

Then he brings his other hand up to the others cheek; just as Shadow Milk had done to him moments ago.

Pure Vanilla's touch was light; as if it were a ghost...

And yet- Shadow Milk's entire body felt like it was burning.

He absolutely despised it...

But oh... how he wished to remain like this for just a little while longer.

And perhaps move a little bit closer?

Oh, what was he thinking? He couldn't possibly think that this... feeling... was anything good.

And so, suddenly, Shadow Milk feels himself move away.

He can't allow himself to become vulnerable infront of someone like him.

Or anyone, really.

But especially him...

"Ahaha! I've decided to spare you of my... annoyances today. You can go do whatever it is that you wish to do now-"

He knows the other must notice how flushed his face is; and he prays with all of his soul --(or perhaps lack thereof?) that he'd just ignore it.

It was strange, though. Wasn't Shadow Milk lonely? Shouldn't he want this?

I mean, he does...

He really

really

does.

And yet, he still moves away.

Pure Vanilla says nothing as he watches the other disappear, becoming one with the shadows and escaping to who knows where.

It would be a lie to say he wasn't the tiniest bit disappointed about him leaving.

Shadow Milk; ever the lonely soul.

Won't you let him help you?

And as Pure Vanilla gazes from the balcony; hand still in the air. (Why is it still in the air? Is he waiting for something?)

He thinks;

You may be the greatest liar that this world has ever seen,

but you will always remain the biggest coward.

AN:

Originally, this was just supposed to be an X reader fic, but these two have been rotting my brain... (I said I wouldn't do a character x character, but I just love them so much!)

I really tried to capture them well, but looking back on it now, I think SMC would have been more desperate for PV'S understanding.

(But oh well, this depiction of him isn't the worst, right? Still desperate enough, I hope?)

I know chapter 8 didn't confirm that the two of them were romantic, and I understand that they are by no means a healthy ship!

(Any ship with SMC isn't healthy, let's be real)

But I just really wanted to experiment with their interactions and I hope I did the complicated emotions surrounding them some justice.

This is probably a one time thing, but if you REALLY want more, you can send me a request and I can probably make something... I have some ideas floating around-

But yeah, I understand if this isn't your thing- anyway BYE.

[Lohotine OUT]

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/18/2025

much like phil, i feel like i cannot quite ever get physically comfy this week. something is always not quite right.

listening: god save the queens by vienna vienna

reading: love's harvest by peggy j herring

watching: cinderella

playing: pokemon

making: return of the baby blanket

listening

im going to start out a little bit mean and say that this self-described glimmer rock song, God Save The Queens by Vienna Vienna, really shone in the ten-second social media clips i saw of its live version. the actual studio version sucks so much. and even the full version of the live version, i want it to me slightly different but in a way i cannot articulate. i am excited to see if other people start covering this in fun ways and maybe it'll be the rare song where i like the cover much more than the original.

I saw a man out in Hollywood He carried a sign that said he hated me I said, "Please, get in line" He stopped to ask me a question He said, "Do you know Christ?" I told him, "Maybe I do, does she work the nights?" He said, "No, I mean Jesus" I said, "That guy was tight But I'm not living in a city built upon your lies" He tried to save me, but somebody already did last night They said their name was Alex, baby, and they showed me the light

like here's the studio version. give us nothing i guess??? i think if you are going to sell merch with GOD SAVE THE F*GS censored out maybe you should say that in the studio version of your song. this is probably a label decision but i want this song to be about 15% less corporate sponsor of a pride parade than it is. i feel like this song got heavily edited from a first draft and i would have liked to hear that probably much angrier first draft. hell of a hook though.

-

reading

this gay and/or lesbian romance and/or erotica project is turning into a little bit of a slog, so with the gentle encouragement of @sybilius going "what if you read good books you enjoyed?" going forward we are going to try a novel of dubious quality from my shelf and an acclaimed queer novel from history in the hopes that one of them will be tolerable. so next week we have the dubious pairing of a mob girlfriend in WITSEC romantic thriller from my shelf, and Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe has just come off hold.

last week's assigned book was Heart on Fire, which was supposed to be even!! better!!! than Naiad Press's previous bestseller Curious Wine by Katherine V Forrest. so of course we had to detour to Curious Wine, which had a very short hold time.

reader, i did not finish this book. seven (7!) different women are introduced in the first chapter with almost no physical or clothing descriptions. they are all extremely mean to each other in the way older women who are dissatisfied with their life often sabotage all their relationships. i didn't have it in me to make a cheat card for myself with who the fuck each woman was, bc i expected somewhat lighter going in a contemporary romance with no extra genres tacked on top.

i am glad i did not continue bc while reading reviews everyone mentioned the Graphic On-Page Sexual Assault??? and this is still somehow every older lesbian's favorite book??? truly the times have changed.

Deep in the heart of France's majestic wine country, the sun drenched hills and lush vineyards of the Jeton family estate seem like the perfect setting for a passionate affaire de Coeur. But the life of workaholic winemaster, Nicole Jeton, is anything but romantic. From one harvest to the next, she runs the world-renowned winery, cares for her invalid father, and bails her no-good brother out of trouble—never stopping long enough to consider her own needs and desires. Until she meets the lovely Camille Cartier...

thank you girls. Love's Harvest by Peggy J Herring is one of the books acquired by Bella when they bought out part of Naiad Press. originally published in 1997, this 156p book was reprinted in 2007 with no additional changes or author's notes. it is the same quality as all the Bella reprints: a kind of terrible to hold perfect-bound softcover. i am beginning to suspect i simply do not vibe with the naiad and/or bella publishing market. i may not be their intended reader. im not really sure who their intended reader is, except maybe the 1997/2007 version of people who patiently comb through self-published kindle ebooks? what is the point of having a physical press and an editor if you can't make the line breaks and the quotation marks correct?

i couldn't find out much about Herring except that she died last summer and was part of her own tuesdaypost endeavor:

To further enhance communication within the women's community, [WomanSpace San Antonio] newsletter staff initiated a regular event known as Tuesday Night for discussing topics affecting women's lives. Topics ranging from real estate law to rape/incest were prepared for each Tuesday session. As ties to related community resources and events increased, the Tuesday Night events were superseded in 1995 by other events and meetings for the lesbian and gay community.

i did not like this book. such a wild amount of somewhat disjointed events take place during this novel and i really wish it was good. there is a for-real ghost, her great aunt killed by her grandfather and everyone just kind of shrugged about it??? that can dramatically interact with physical objects and STOPS A MURDER??? people are so calm about this ghost as a daily fact of life when there is exorcist level shit going on in the foreground. nicole has to cancel one of their weekend getaways bc the ghost is simply too on one and she can't figure out how to explain the ghost to camille, a presumably more normal outsider who presumably did not grow up with a ghost. the ghost is not the focal point of this book but it is by far the most interesting thing in the book.

this book felt like a barely fleshed outline. they go here. they do this. they see that. here is a great example of a section where i would have loved more elaboration in literally every sentence. the build up to this call and the call itself could have been a full chapter instead of half a page.

the least amount of dialogue i have maybe ever read in a book, and even fewer thoughts or feelings or interiority. the sex scenes read like stage direction. which is crazy bc they start fucking on page 42 and keep fucking every time they meet. they do NOT waste any time which was really refreshing. if only it was hot.

things mostly seem to happen to vineyard owner nicole— taking care of her dad (who dies quite early in the book) and the vineyard, her brother randomly shows up instead of her summoning him back to get some emotional closure (he doesn’t even show up for their father’s funeral), her gay bestie summons camille back after the third act breakup instead of nicole doing any emotional work and reaching out herself. everyone has at maximum one thing going on at a time that is neatly wrapped up before the next thing happens.

i think the 3.3 on goodreads is overly kind, but people seem to really love her other books so what do i know. maybe all these books ended up at the thrift bc their original owner was unlucky enough to somehow pick the worst book from each author and had to unload them.

-

watching

Cinderella (1950, dir. Geronimi, Jackson, and Luske) was on in the background while i was wrangling my bestie's children. probably the least scary (if you are not quite six or not quite two) disney princess movie. the bubble sequence makes me insane in a good way. i think this sort of thing is so easily replicated digitally that it looks unimpressive in 2025 but this shit is 75 years old!!! we were nineteen years away from landing on the fucking moon with a computer outpaced by my current microwave!!!

-

playing

having a real brain time with pokemon. i was gently bullied into playing the app two weeks ago by my best friend's husband after trying and failing multiple times to get into the actual video games, but after getting the 45 wins i needed to get the fanciest current event emblem i went ok great! i won pokemon! i am done with pokemon! and have sort of mentally checked it off in my head. anyway i loved my murkrow/toxicroak combo. loved to flip a coin. loved my darkness deck apparently.

the deck autobuild feature is really great bc i am able to basically hold my own while knowing nothing about pokemon other that what ive culturally osmosed. im assuming this is a pretty fun app if you like this sort of thing and your brain chemicals are balanced without outside assistance.

-

making

the baby i started this mint green baby blanket for is about to turn two in a couple weeks. better late than absolutely never i guess. my original notes called for 10 repeats but i think we're going to up that to 12, just finished the ninth repeat.

[shin-tsucommunist]

quick analysis of the imitation art:

i might expand on this later if i think of anything else

damon- presumably the kid he's watching pet the cat is his younger self? he's smiling, but definitely seems melancholy. i think he's looking back on the person he used to be before he was an ultimate.

eva: i think this is representative of how she wants to be someone else with a better, more interesting talent. the blonde girl has her head raised slightly higher, showing she's more confident. also, if you combine the two you get eva's normal design, so this probably shows eva the ultimate mathlete with the person she pretended to be to seem cooler- the two of them combined make up the eva we see in the killing game.

desmond: okay so. this one's relatively clear, but still pretty interesting. he's being run through with spears, while the people holding them have arrows in their backs in places that would likely be fatal. the way the light from the spears is arranged around his head looks like a halo. he's also smiling, with his eyes closed. he's referred to as 'the key' as well, so it shows that desmond will likely sacrifice himself and die a martyr, and his death will be the key to the group's survival. also, the others having arrows through their backs suggest that desmond harmed them. maybe some kind of dr2 chapter 4 situation? or he's a traitor?

eloise: i honestly have no idea. it's pretty clear that she has some sort of anxiety disorder, so 'the hunt' may have something to do with what happened to her to cause that? she looks younger and is clearly afraid. or maybe she's running away from the violent side she shows in her ftes. either way this one's pretty ominous

toshiko: again, i'm not sure. the version of toshiko in the school uniform is glitchy, while kimono toshiko looks uncomfortable and slightly afraid. the blur across school uniform toshiko's mouth is really interesting as in the original photo, the girl's face is exposed, meaning that the blur was added for this image of toshiko specifically, and afaik toshiko is never shown with her mouth uncovered. also, she's placing the mask over kimono toshi's mouth. she looks gentle and protective. i'm guessing this means toshiko covers her face as a way to protect herself somehow, maybe due to something traumatic she experienced in school?

wenona: this is a really confusing one. it might show that she's hiding parts of herself? the yellow eyes with slit pupils are definitely the eyes of a predator, but beyond that i'm not certain. the water's murky.

ulysses: ok. this is obviously related to his talent as the ultimate historian. the way i interpreted it is that the fungus and roots pushing through the classical statue represent how studying history tends to give you a negative view of humanity. the statue seems beautiful, but there's decay growing through it, and its eyes are blank and dead, its head broken and lying at its feet (i don't really know how to phrase this, so i might talk about this if i make a post about my ulysses theory). the floor is covered in water, which obviously is reflective, which might be showing how rotten parts of history reflect back onto modern people's actions? it's also worth noting that ulysses has his back turned to this, and isn't wearing his glasses. it could also represent his deteriorating state of mind? i can't see what the notebook says unfortunately

mark: the guy in the hospital bed looks a lot like mark, so it could be a family member he's lost or will lose soon. if he's from a country without free healthcare, he might have started producing music to pay for their treatment? 'the choice' might be suggesting that he made the choice to abandon this person in order to attend eden's garden academy. or, and i think this is equally plausible, it's mark himself in the bed. he's pale, skinny, and extremely underweight, which suggests he isn't in good health. also, his eyes are fixed forwards instead if at the man in the bed and he looks afraid, suggesting he's looking at the future. i'm not sure what 'the choice' would mean in the context of this, though. or a past suicide attenpt, maybe? the guy in the bed looks older than mark, though.

diana: i can't really find anything that interesting. i know there's another, much more interesting official art of her so i'll probably talk about that one at some point. she is manually drawing the heart, though, and it'll fade away once she stops.

wolfgang: like everything else, this shows wolfgang as having two parts. his good side -the sheep- is kneeling on the ground praying, while the wolf is bringing a knife down onto his head. the crown he's wearing is crooked, and his expression is desperate. two hands are holding onto him, which probably represent his parents forcing him to be crueler than he really is. the sheep is smiling, suggesting that wolfgang is happy to lose his good side to please his parents. 'not like you' suggests that wolfgang is beginning to rebel against others', especially his father's, expectations of him.

kai: butterflies represent change, and the pair of legs shown in the mirror are kai's. this shows kai looking at his old self. the change represented by the butterflies is probably (and hopefully) that he's trans. his position might also suggest drug abuse or an eating disorder?

jett: this one is interesting. i like the theory that the jett in the killing game isn't the real one and was actually responsible for jett's death, which is why he hasn't removed his suit. you can also see 'confess' engraved on the base of the trophy, and 'here l'' on its main body-presumably the full is 'here lies'. there are also a pair of vengeful-looking eyes on the trophy. it might be the real jett though, and referring to the death of his career after the accident? or he caused the accident and someone else died. the face on the trophy might show what's left of his own?

ingrid: people look to ingrid for help. she's usually the person providing comfort, and is one of the most common speakers in trials. the hands might represent people grabbing onto her for comfort and help. her facial expression and tilted head, as well as the way the light shines directly on her, frames her in an angelic way. however, her eyes are blank, suggesting that she views helping and comforting others as simply 'an obligation'. her talent too, probably, if it's a family business.

grace: the original photo is atarashii gakkou :D (obviously this is completely irrelevant, i just love atarashii gakkou.) the group of friends is just four different versions of grace. there are rabbit ears drawn above the central grace's head. rabbits are often associated with being gentle and passive, which contrasts with the baseball bat grace is holding. edit: the other girls are eva, wenona, and diana. i guess that means grace is driving her friends away again? back to history repeating itself. huh.

jean: he's the man holding the gun, with only his shadow shown in the image. this means that he may have used to be a pirate, which is why he reacts so strongly to being called one, and that his past still casts a shadow over him.

cassidy: i don't have much for this one either, but i think her lack of a mouth represents that she is afraid to say the wrong thing around her fans, and repressing parts of her personality to fit their expectations of her. the version of her in the back is the real cassidy, as opposed to streamer cassidy.

cara: yeah there's a lot here. i kinda want to make another post about my theory about the game as a whole, but here's the rundown: cara's death is the 'reason' the killing game is taking place. she's represented by a faceless mannequin because the participants don't know who she is, and the crown placed on her head signifies her importance to the game. she's stitched to the ground with thread which resembles blood and ringed by blood. her head and dress are similar colours to the wall, making the blood the centre of attention. the participants don't care who she was, only that she was murdered.

this doesn't make much sense as i am very dehydrated and sleep deprived and also coming up with all of this on the spot but oh well, if you have better theories or anything to add or something please please give me them/gen

[iscdisc]

A 2012 Casey appreciation post, basically- Lmao

I originally was going to rant about something not so positive, because that's just in my nature to do and 2012 as a whole just makes me incredibly angry- But that's how you can tell it's my favorite show on the planet, so like- LMAO

That's not to say that there won't be some moments of anger in this tangent from me, but for the most part I just want to kind of "gush" (so to speak) about 2012 Casey Jones and why these incompetent writers could never get me to hate him. 🫶✨

This might be kind of contradicting from me, since a lot of 2012 April's writing is what causes me to strongly dislike her as a character canonically, but I think I've come to realize that it's not that I necessarily hate April, it's just that I hate how she was handled and all the opportunities that the show gives her simply for just existing / a lot of what April gets tied to or what she accrued throughout the series are things that I feel the writers simply hand to her rather than explaining why she deserves them (Like her Kunoichi certification after the Space Arc- 💀 / I still don't understand why, "City at War" couldn't have been the first April solo mission episode instead to further show why she should be awarded this accomplishment, but okay- Lmao). And that's why she's frustrating to me. LMAO

Just think about how much better April's character would have been if the show writers actually gave a shit about her and weren't probably misogynistic because her character feels like a stereotype of a teenage girl / the "mandatory girl character" a majority of the time. 🙃👍

Casey, on the other hand, is a different situation. Because not only does this show not give him jack shit half the time, but they do him no favors the way they do April a lot of favors (in my opinion) and it feels as though practically a majority of the cast despises his existence-?? Another thing that cannot be said of April (in my opinion). LMAO

I also feel like a lot of the negative traits that we see from Casey throughout the series feel intentional?? In the sense that it feels as though the writers want us as the audience to think that Casey is the most insufferable person on the planet- Similar to how the writers embellish Mikey's negative traits so that we'll also think he's "unreliable" and "annoying" like his brothers do. The writers practically have Casey become "Mikey 2.0" in a lot of instances, and I don't say that like an insult because it honestly shouldn't be?? But it feels like sabotage from the writers, I gotta be honest. 💀

Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but 2012 Casey in his first three introductory episodes (Which yes, I refer to them as three introductory episodes because he wasn't officially introduced into the narrative until, "The Good, the Bad, and Casey Jones" / S2 EP 8 / but he technically was a big part of two episodes prior to that one and more literally introduced as a character in, "Mutagen Man Unleashed" / S2 EP 4 /. So-! 👍✨) has an incredibly different feel to him than the Casey that we see in, "Fungus Humongous" / S2 EP 10 /-?? Before, at least in my opinion, Casey felt like a chill dude who had occasional aggressive / hyperactive moments. But after, "The Good, the Bad, and Casey Jones" he felt more like an aggressive / hyperactive dude with occasional relaxed moments- Does that make sense? This is when I feel like he was really shifting into "Mikey 2.0" by the writers. He's a lot more brash, openly obnoxious and boisterous, saying things that he doesn't necessarily need to say so that everyone will look at him with glares (I wonder what other character that happens to- 🙄), having an unserious nature that the others disapprove of (Again, who else does that sound like-), a lot clumsier in battle than he used to be, the others don't take him seriously (Do I even need to say it again-), etc.

But does any of this deter me from loving him as a character? Absolutely not and it never will. LMAO

This isn't to say that I think Casey is perfect, because clearly he has his flaws, and given how the writers handled his character throughout the series I completely understand why some people think less of him or would say that he's their least favorite character in 2012,, I really do get it.

BUT, despite all those things, I still feel like there were a lot of redeemable traits from him that don't get talked about a lot? Also a lot of things that I feel backfired in regards to the image that the writers "wanted" (Since maybe they didn't intend for this?? But it felt that way to me-) us as the audience to have of his character- Like him actually being one of kindest members of the team??

It's definitely not a conventional kindness, but it is a kindness nonetheless.

I honestly don't know a good place to start with this, so I'm just going to start rambling about whatever comes to mind and hope that that works out for me- LMAO

One of the first things that comes to mind for me is him during, "Of Rats and Men" / S2 EP 12 /. Despite having a crippling musophobia (Fear of mice and rats-) in the same way that Raph has a crippling entomophobia (Fear of insects-), Casey's still did his best to contribute to that problem and was probably enduring one of the most traumatic events of his life for his friends?? Like hello?? He's only known them for like maybe a few weeks or so at this point (Logically speaking-) too??

I know Raph technically has some growth with it in 2012 (Only saying technically because I really didn't like how the show constantly harped on Raph's entomophobia, as if there aren't many other aspects of his character that could have been talked about instead- Lmao), but when he was in his first situation revolving around his phobia ("The Cockroach Terminator" / S1 EP 18 / ) he was not very helpful for a majority of that situation (Which I totally get-) nor did he volunteer to put himself in the "eye of the storm" of situation in the same way Casey did. That was an incredibly kind / selfless thing for Casey to do??

Without questioning anything, he defends April against Timothy (Who they didn't know was Timothy at the time, besides I don't think that would be relevant cause April didn't really meet Timothy-?) and rides away on his bike with her to escape him, having just met her. He's pretty much kind of April in general, but what I mean is a different type of kindness than the more general one that most characters give her- He truly allows April to be herself around him / doesn't treat her differently as person (when I say this, I mean moments like when Casey had no problem kicking April in her shoulder to wake her up during, "Within the Woods" / S3 EP 1 /- Lmao), and I feel like that is the biggest act of kindness he could ever give her. Like??

Maybe this isn't something that is necessarily considered kind but I thought it was incredibly sweet and understanding of Casey sit through the drive all the way up to the O'Neil's Farmhouse immediately after the invasion + immediately after he had failed to find his Father and little sister in the chaos,, I'm sure he felt like he had to because of everything going on, but it would have been just as understandable for him to need breaks on the road or to vent- Instead it felt like he just focused on getting everybody else to safety, you know what I mean??

The way he whispers to Raph about taking it easy on Leo during their sparring match since he's been having a hard time since he woke up from his coma during, "Eyes of the Chimera"? 😭 || I don't know how much this counts for kindness either, but the way he was so excited to tell Raph about what he had accomplished in regards to Shredder and his little recon mission during, "Casey Jones vs. The Underworld" / S3 EP 14 / always makes me cry- Like he was so happy,,

Also speaking of him being incredibly understanding?? 2012 Casey has to be one of the most understanding characters I've ever seen, because the amount of shit that he gets dealt by everyone else and decides to just let's go / move past it is wild to me.

• When Casey's reminiscing to April about his best friend Nick in "Target: April O'Neil" / S2 EP 6 / and how there was this complete accident during last year's playoffs and he genuinely accepted that his best friend since second grade decided to never talk to him again?? The maturity that Casey exudes from the scene alone- Not to mention his understanding of her leaving him with a bunch of Foot Soldiers (Not that I'm saying she did anything bad there, I understand why she left and I'm sure he did too-).

• Casey not thinking twice about helping the Turtles and Splinter not get exposed to the Foot Clan during, "The Good, the Bad, and Casey Jones" / S2 EP 8 / despite having known them for a brief amount of time and being at odds with Raph prior- Giving Casey honestly the slimmest of reasons to do this + before this point he actively talked about how he didn't like mutants.

• During, "Newtralized!" / S2 EP 17 /, how despite Raph giving him the hardest time ever (Which felt so hypocritical because I've never seen Raph treat April this way, and she messes up quite a lot imo- 🙃) and blatantly disrespecting him to the point of genuinely pushing him away, Casey STILL CAME BACK AND SAVED THE DAY- Not even getting upset that he didn't get an apology from Raph. At all.

• I don't know if this necessarily falls into what I mean here, but I feel like he often gets misread when he's trying to be genuine? The moment he had with April during, "Within the Woods" / S3 EP 1 / feels like one to me. I truly don't think Casey meant anything by it when he was asking April if everything was okay between them (Implying the April's been distant towards him lately or probably just acting different-), and even after she kind of blew up on him, he didn't say anything about it and just let it go?? 😭

• Casey being quite literally understanding during, "Buried Secrets" / S3 EP 3 / when April was venting about the situation with her Mother and basically reassuring her that it was okay for April to leave with her if that was the decision that she wanted to make-

• It honestly boils my blood to see how little faith the others had in Casey during, "The Weird World Of Wyrm" / S4 EP 3 / (At least it came across that way to me-), because how could they truly believe that he would turn on them like that? On one hand, I get it was to make the whole thing more believable so that Wyrm wouldn't suspect Casey was trying to do something underhanded, but if I were Casey I would have felt genuinely hurt that they really thought that of me?? April didn't even try to be like, "This isn't you at all! :( " like she normally does, she just fully believed that this is who he was now- 🙃 || But I also understand that a lot of the events of this episode get retconned on purpose, so. 🙄

• Casey basically let go of Raph quite literally ditching him because of his entomophobia during, "The Insecta Trifecta" / S4 EP 17 /, but I also acknowledge that Casey was not helping but all his descriptions during the fight,, LMAO || But I don't know, I feel like Casey was genuinely taking Raph's word for it when he said that he was "over the bug stuff" in the beginning of the episode-

• I don't really want to count this one, but I guess I can bring up how everyone forgave April so quickly after the events of, "The Power Inside Her" / S4 EP 22 / even though I feel like that was incredibly unrealistic-

There's also the fact that he's incredibly selfless?? The most well known example of this being when he saved Raph's life during, "Requiem" / S4 EP 25 / and almost lost his own in the process,,

I feel like the entire concept of his vigilante-ing is it active selflessness on its own, since you have to have that want to help people who can't help themselves to accomplish something like that-

Casey almost risked his life protecting April from the mutagen vat stockman was trying to fly into during, "The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman" / S2 EP 16 /, and the reason I say that is because if that had gone the wrong way, he could have gone into the vat with Stockman himself or fell in somehow- He literally risked the entire world after Donatello stop breathing (presumably his brothers would follow suit shortly after-) during, "In Dreams" / S2 EP 5 /, since he didn't know for sure that the Dream Beavers wouldn't be world ending entities (Which, this is completely derailing right now, but there was just really sweet 2012 Jonatello fanfiction that used this situation in it- Where Casey openly acknowledges that he risked the entire world for Donatello even if it would have been only for a few minutes because they would have parish shortly afterwards- Like?? I'll try to find it later- 😭💜🖤).

I know this could just be a writing thing and another glaringly obvious way the writers clearly didn't care enough about him as a character, but I feel like his lack of bringing up his issues or his family feels selfless-? Like he doesn't want to weigh anybody down with his problems, he'd rather focus on what he can control than what he can't, you know? From a canonical writing standpoint, I found this really annoying, but ignoring the writing for a second- I wouldn't be surprised if Casey felt like the guys already struggle with emotionally supporting April and her constantly absent Father enough as it was, that maybe that's why he felt like he didn't want to add on to it or something by talking about his-? 😭 (But knowing these writers, I wouldn't be surprised that they had the Turtles be complete assholes to him about it- Because "boys will be boys" or some shit. 🙃 Lmao)

I also want to talk about how Casey felt like such a fantastic friend?? I know we only have that one moment with Leo during "A Foot Too Big" / S3 EP 2 /, but even that felt like a really great moment from him to me? Not to mention the fact that Casey's demonstrated multiple times that he's incredibly loyal, so whenever Leo asked him to be there, he's there- Something we see in episodes like, "The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman" / S2 EP 16 / (Though, maybe this kind of feels like a straw grab-? Casey and Leo don't get a lot of interactions, so I don't know what else to say- 😭)

The only reason why I say what I'm about to say is because I feel like the writers handled Casey and Raph's friendship extremely poorly, but even though Raph treats Casey like shit 9 times out of 10 during the show, Casey still views him as his best friend and still has his back constantly?? This is demonstrated throughout the entire series honestly-

Casey and Mikey's dynamic is one of the most organic friendships to come out of the series in my opinion- They were genuinely the most fun on screen and it made me want them to interact a lot more. Like have you watched the episodes, "Meet Mondo Gecko" / S3 EP 17 / and "Bat in the Belfry" / S4 EP 19 / ? 🙄✨

Even though Donnie views Casey as "his rival" or some kind of "threat" between him and April, I still feel like Casey had a lot of moments where he treated Donnie with respect and as an ally / friend despite how Donnie's feels towards him being glaringly obvious- As much as I would love to give you a plethora of examples of this happening, it feels like there's too many because it's kind of a in the background / nuanced thing-?? (See the picture I put for this part-) Like, if you focus on them during episodes, I feel like you could see what I mean- LMAO

Which has always led me to have this theory that Casey never actually hated Donnie to begin with and was just reciprocating the energy that Donnie was giving him, because why wouldn't he?

But I think a dynamic that is one of my favorites with Casey in the 2012 series is his dynamic with April-

April feels like a genuine person / fleshed out character when she's interacting with Casey as opposed to when she's interacting with any of the brothers. I don't know how else to explain it- A lot of the solo scenes that April and Casey get feel so different for April specifically, and I genuinely enjoy them ! Moments like when they're riding "Kirby Bat" during, "The Lonely Mutation of Baxter Stockman" / S2 EP 16 / or that Kraathatragon / " Giant Kraang Worm" during, "The Manhattan Project / Wormquake!" / S2 EP 13-14 / or when April finally breaks the wood in half with Casey at the end of, "Vision Quest" / S3 EP 8 /, or when April and Casey are walking home from the movie theater in, "The Deadly Venom" / S3 EP 18 /- It also makes me sad at the same time though, because I feel like if the show just dropped the stupid "Will they? Won't they?" romance bullshit subplot between them, they would have just been the best of friends and that would have been the best thing ever- Like. 😭

I almost forgot to mention the amount of times that Casey was actually able to swallow his pride for his friends despite the show giving us the impression that he's an incredibly prideful and egotistical person?? The fact that he has gone to the guys for help on more than one occasion (i.e. "Fungus Humongous" / S2 EP 10 /, "The Wrath of Tiger Claw" / S2 EP 19 / though this was just sending them an alert from his phone, "A Chinatown Ghost Story" / S2 EP 23 /, "Casey Jones vs. The Underworld" / S3 EP 14 /-) despite claiming that he's "A Lone Wolf" and doesn't need anybody's permission to act. He even calls and waits for them before acting in, "The Power Inside Her" / S4 EP 20 /. He apologized to Donnie during, "Race With the Demon" / S3 EP 6 /, something I'm sure he never thought he would do in a million years at that point- He also had a lot of technical apologies?? Like telling Raph he's "not bad for an amphibian" during, "The Good, the Bad. And Casey Jones" / S2 EP 8 /, telling Donnie he "takes back everything he ever said about him" during "The Manhattan Project (Part 2) / Wormquake!" / S2 EP 14 /. I don't know if this one necessarily counts as an "apology" per se, but the way he was so quick to claim fault and say it was his bad after he triggered the traps during, "Riddle of the Ancient Aeons"- 😭 || I also want to tie in how a lot of the episodes were Casey was the problem or the issue of the episode revolved around Casey, Casey was genuinely the one to resolve said issue- We love him for taking responsibility ! ✨

Casey is also a lot smarter than I feel the other characters and the writers give him credit for / care to acknowledge. This dude literally made his own weapons. Excuse me?? Not to mention his shoes that have hockey blades that retract?? His decked out bike?? Like bro- His entire vigilante get up is incredibly unique and innovative ! During the episode, "Newtralized!", Casey was able to deduce where to exactly shoot his hockey puck explosive into the Kraang contraption (I don't remember what that thing was called,,)- During high action / high speed (??) scenes, you can tell Casey is very quick on his feet and has some pretty natural reflexes of his own (I think a great example of this is his "fight" with TigerClaw during, "The Wrath of Tiger Claw" / S2 EP 19 /-). He was the one that came up with the idea to use pizza to distract and subdue Leo / Raph / and Mikey during, "A Chinatown Ghost Story" / S2 EP 23 /. He clearly has some mechanical experience + possible engineering prowess, given he was constantly trying to work on that busted up truck in the O'Neil Barn and is clearly capable of not only helping Donnie but keeping up with him mechanically during, "Race with the Demon" / S3 EP 6 /. THE ENTIRE EPISODE OF, "Casey Jones vs. The Underworld"?? HELLO?? The way that he did all of that on his own and nobody gave him his flowers is criminal- /hj LMAO

You have no idea how much it upset me when everybody was acting like it was "so wild" that Casey had a good idea / his input was valuable during, "Tokka vs. The World" dude- 💀

All this is to say that 2012 Casey Jones is one of the most charming characters in an animated TV series for me. He's silly, he's stupid, he's loyal- He's just the biggest lovable goofball to me, you know?? 😭🫶

2012 Jonatello side tangent- 💜🖤

Because I genuinely cannot resist putting this at the end, I love talking about Casey's "contradictions" (so to speak) as a character and how he's presented in the show because this genuinely just feeds my Jonatello obsession. Like how I was talking about Casey treating Donnie like a friend despite Donnie clearly not liking him very much for a majority of the show?? How one of Casey's only on screen apologies (If I'm not mistaken??) is towards Donnie? How 2012 has Casey and Donnie conveniently standing next to each other or being in the same vicinity as each other despite "hating each other" more than not? How have you really break down their characters, they're kind of similar? Both physically (Tall, gaps in their teeth, brown eyes-) and characteristically (i.e. Mechanics and inventions, their weapons of choice / fighting styles, they both can get pretty morbid at times but Casey's just being Casey in this instance while Donnie's trying to be "scientifically accurate", as he says, etc.-).

How during, "Monkey Brains", if you look really closely at Donnie's plan to, "Get April to hang out with him", he has hockey on that plan? (Images courtesy of me by the way, since I happened to have the official 2012 art book !) How Donnie's helmet of choice (Specifically during Season 1 but did make an appearance in Season 2-) was a hockey helmet that had the number 16 on it? You know who else has the number 16 on their gear?? CASEY.

But also the things that make them different attribute to these to being a perfect match to me ! Like their love languages ! Donnie's love language is definitely more verbal / words of affirmation (Since all he does is say things that he shouldn't say about April because she's not his girlfriend and call her things that he shouldn't call her because she's not his girlfriend- Lmao) and gift-giving / acts of service (Pretty much everything Donnie has ever done for April ever falls into one of these two-). While Casey's is also verbal / words of affirmation but in a different way (Since he's definitely more flirtatious / playful-) and physical touch (Since he's always getting into April's space and being very physically close with her-). This makes sense to me, but maybe it might not make sense to other people- I just can't help but feel that everything that Donnie became infatuated with about April and Casey with April is quite literally just each other?? To Donnie, I genuinely feel like he was more attracted to the fact that she was a "firecracker" (so to speak) and did what she wanted / didn't let others tell her what to do. Something we actively see in episodes like, "Panic in the Sewers" when April actively lies to a man to get through an apartment building and Donnie responds with, "She's so cool-". With Casey, it feels like the opposite, where he was only interested in April because in his eyes she was kind of stuck up and a nerd (In his eyes-). I feel like this is enforced by their early on interacts during Season 2, specifically, "Mutagen Man Unleashed", when Casey asks April if "studying is all she does" and April points out that he likes to push buttons-

Which?? This solidifies that (canonically) Casey's method of flirting is pushing buttons, and whose buttons does he push more than DONATELLO'S?? HELLO- 😭💜🖤

I completely derailed by talking about 2012 Jonatello, I'm sorry. This was meant to just be a 2012 Casey appreciation post only- My bad,, 🥲👍 LMAO