#Tell me about the murder basement edward

[camelspit]

what is this book. what is happening. edward will randomly mention shit like "yeah I found a dude with a murder basement once :)" and then spend the next 5 pages talking about bellas eyebrows or some shit. like no. go back. elaborate on that please.

[octopus-punching-union]

Thoughts on second read of Obscuary chapter. (Roughly chronological this time)

Darkwick has a general medical center — so Mortkranken isn't the only medical care on campus, regardless of what Yuri might say

The Gala happens in August, which means the end of the school year is in August, which means there is basically no break between the school years. (Do they have breaks at Darkwick? If they do, are the ghouls allowed to leave? Probably not.)

Moby is barely even trying to hide that Darkwick sees Lyca primarily as a research subject (and MC as his "warden")

Darkwick doesn't trust Subaru anymore? MC asks if Subaru wouldn't be a better mentor, and Moby's like nope but doesn't explain

Kinda sus that the flashback repeats Haku's "have I ever lied to you" line

What is the "most severe form of disciplinary action"? In Hotarubi chapter, Lyca and Subaru imply that Darkwick planned to kill Lyca if he was, in fact, guilty of murder. Are they going around secretly executing people?

Haku's like "I'm well aware." Does he know someone who was punished this way? (I've been thinking for a while that he's the spy, but that his motivation is trying to protect someone, possibly Rui. I feel like this is another point in that direction.)

Aww, Lyca makes MC sit down when she gets upset remembering the anomaly that cursed her. What a sweetheart.

If the moon is always a crescent in Obscuary, does that mean Lyca doesn't have to worry about transforming if he stays there during the full moon?

...did Rui seriously get cursed by hitting on a Reaper?

Hmm is it just me, or does Subaru not look super thrilled when Lyca says that he's already made a new friend?

Lyca and Rui's reactions to MC saying that she wants to use the Gala to get help breaking her curse — Lyca looks upset (didn't know she was cursed), Rui smiles (proud of his curse twin being proactive)

Rui making Lyca actually work at the bar but telling MC to just relax

Why is Nicolas being so shady about other people (particularly MC) being at the bar?

Benkei only started working at the campus store recently and immediately arranged to start selling anomalous medicine. Maybe he was a former student?

Aww, Lyca takes afternoon naps.

Rui says that going to the basement to make liquor is "always a workout"... and that there are freaky looking plants writhing around down there..... and he wouldn't recommend it unless you're into that kind of thing......... are you keeping a tentacle monster in the basement, Rui???

Towa says that the tree is sick because she's not getting enough love. Possibly she is reacting to the overall tension on campus? Or maybe more people used to be able to see her, but something has happened and they can't? Maybe it's a response to the general students leaving Jabberwock? (Is her hill in Jabberwock or in its own area?)

On first read, I thought maybe Rui was previously in Ultio, since he knew about the prison. Now I think he was held in that prison at some point.

Towa says that Edward doesn't understand love... but he doesn't give a crap about the dog, he's only looking for it for Haru. (Towa loves Haru confirmed?)

Taiga remembers Ed, even though it's been a while since they've seen each other. Is his bad memory a recent thing, where he only has trouble remembering people he's recently met?

What does this mean? Taiga can (literally or figuratively?) see some kind of danger Ritsu is unaware of?

Lyca's twitchy ears. So cute...

Darkwick supposedly doesn't know much about MC's curse, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they're letting it run its course just to study it. If MC wasn't useful as an inspector, she would probably be in a lab or a cell somewhere.

Back on the mission, after discovering that the Barometz is "friendly" — I wonder how much of the previous animosity between ghouls and inspectors was due to stuff like this. Trying to let a peaceful anomaly be.

In parts of the comic scene, Lyca looks like he's running on all fours. Cuuuuute

Earlier, Rui said that Ed was basically on house arrest. Towards the end of the chapter, Moby calls it a "self-imposed confinement". I don't really trust anything Moby says at this point...

Ed clearly knows more about anomalies than Darkwick does... so they're not asking him, or he's not complying, or they're not listening to him. Why is he at Darkwick anyway? I can't see what he's getting out of this. Is he being detained?

Rui's conversation at the end — honestly, I can see it. His comments about not liking hard work or not reaching out to help people — throughout the whole chapter, he only seems to enjoy helping MC. He's kinda irritated with Lyca and Ed for almost the entire chapter. All of the housework and stuff he does is because no one else will do it, and he literally can't sleep so he's probably bored out of his mind. He chose to start the bar, so he probably enjoys that... but maybe he started do it partly to have more people to talk to. I think the isolation is getting to him and he's starting to feel less "human", in a sense, and detached from society. I think he's starting to warm up to Lyca near the end, at least?

[aemiron-main]

Henry Creel is Presumed Dead- Right? The TFS Creel Murders Are So Damn Weird, And Henry Broke The Fourth Wall AGAIN

So, in TFS, after the Creel murders happen, Henry shows up for the play, and ends up bumping into Joyce in the basement:

But then when we look at the Creel murders in the show, Henry (who is also 12, not 14), is passed out on the floor & as far as we can tell, doesn’t leave the house.

Which, begs the question: why the hell are the events of the show SO different from the play, and how did Henry’s fake death end up happening when it comes to TFS?

Like, it’s SO different.

Henry ends up monologuing to Joyce in the basement of the school BEFORE the play- but while this happens, Henry is also shown pulling the cloth off of Virginia’s body:

And Victor gets arrested during this scene:

And then Henry later continues talking with Joyce & goes up to the catwalk with Patty.

But this means that Alice and Virginia were already dead when Henry got to the school (which tracks with Patty saying he has blood on his shirt + Brenner saying Henry killed his family):

But if the Creel murders happened before Henry went to the school, then how does THAT work??? After all, all of the papers list Henry/Edward as one of the victims. But Hopper Sr (AND Hopper Jr, who also shows up to the scene) would’ve noticed that Henry’s corpse wasn’t in the Creel house when arresting Victor, and Patty and Joyce both saw Henry at the school after the murders.

So, that means that Joyce, Hopper Sr, Hopper Jr, and Patty all know that Henry wasn’t killed at the Creel house.

So, what do they think happened to him? After all, Patty likely knows that Brenner took him/suspects it but doesn’t know for sure, but we have no idea if she ever told Jim or Hopper Sr or Joyce about that.

It’s weird as hell. And it also makes me wonder about the fact that in the Indianapolis Gazette, it talks about how Victor was found by local Hawkins Police wandering along the side of the road on the early morning after the Creel murders and dropped off at the Creel house again in the morning to find the bodies.

Becayse like I talked about in this post, what we see in TFS re: Victor’s arrest & being arrested by the local police seems to align with him being arrested in the morning. But in the play, it almost seems like this takes place at night, as Henry is down with Joyce on the night of the play while Virginia and Alice’s bodies are shown:

However, the only time that Virginia and Alice’s bodies get shown is when they’re weirdly overlaid with Henry while he’s ranting to Joyce- Henry isnt ACTUALLY at the Creel house, which is what makes the whole sequence so damn weird.

So, theoretically, considering Henry’s weird future powers AND the fact that it’s only the audience (not Joyce) who sees/acknowledges Henry with Alice and Virginia’s bodies, there’s a chance that he was actually interacting with the future versions of the corpses from the morning after the murders/he was witnessing Victor get arrested in the morning after the murders (just like he does in the Edward timeline).

But there’s also the fact that the local cops who arrest Victor in TFS (one of which is Hop Sr) might not be the same cop who’s named as having picked Victor up in the Indianapolis Gazette, as Deputy John Snow is listed but not Hop Sr:

So maybe that wasn’t the Edward timeline after all. Or, maybe it was the Edward timeline, and it was different cops/those two coos that are with Hop Sr picked Victor up & then Hop Sr was called in & arrested Victor. It’s hard to tell, because we don’t know the names of those cops that are with Hop Sr.

My point is: there’s something super mega fucking weird with the TFS version of the Creel murders & specifically the TFS version of Victor’s arrest & the circumstances surrounding Henry’s supposed death.

It’s really hard to pull apart because of that super weird scene of Henry walking around Alice and Virginia’s bodies, and pulling a cloth off of Virginia’s body but seemingly not actually physically being in the Creel house because he’s in the basement with Joyce (which, the thing about him pulling on the cloth also ties into what I talked about in this post re: Henry pulling off Virginia’s dress and how, as a result of doing that, he’s breaking the fourth wall wall & acknowledging that he’s in a play- the scene with the cloth is the same sort of phenomena.)

Which, re: that fourth wall break, what’s EXTRA EXTRA weird here is that while neither Hop Sr or Hop Jr acknowledge Henry’s presence at the Creel house (seemingly because he isn’t actually there & is instead in the school basement with Joyce), Hop Sr DOES look over at Virginia’s corpse right after Henry pulls the cloth off of it:

It’s so damn weird. And the whole “Henry being in the school but also weirdly being in the Creel house” thing likely ties into what I talked about in this post with how basically every location in TFS seems to be Hawkins High (which is EVEN MORE WEIRDER because prior, the Creel house is one of the only locations that was NEVER Hawkins High, but now it is- the following screenshot is during Victor arrest/Hop Sr finding the bodies & the set is clearly Hawkins High)

There’s also the fact that right before Henry does his weird Creel house visit, he talks to Joyce about how he was only hearing voices before, but now he can see them, he can see all of them:

So, while his Creel house visit does seem to be some sort of weird void/astral projection thing, he’s a.) not shown in the void and not using his blindfold and b.) he’s physically interacting with things like the cloth on Virginia and c.) we don’t know when that Creel murders scene is happening, if it’s the night of the murders or the morning after & if Henry’s time travelling and d.) there’s still the whole issue of how Henry’s corpse wasn’t there & how Hop Sr and Hop Jr would’ve known that.

Anyway! I would love to know what the hell is going on!!!

[secrets-of-everwich]

06-2 Back at the Manor

[Click]

[Electronic hum underlies recording]

{Callie}

Hello, this is Callie Hewitt. I’m safe, don’t worry. I have to say, looking back, that wasn’t my best idea. Stay out late in a graveyard after dark. I’m safe, and I’m not hurt, don’t worry. This is approximately fifteen minutes later, which is how long it took me to run out of the graveyard and run back home. I’m in my bedroom again.

I don’t think that was the Everwich Ghost. I didn’t get a photo, but I think I remember it. The figure was tall, and the Everwich Ghost is a child – it’s Charles. It also had really dirty hair, and, well, ghosts are generally incorporeal. I say that like I’ve had experience with other ghosts, I haven’t, but… General media says that. And the eyes. White eyes, not yellow. Every single report of the Everwich Ghost says it has yellow eyes. That’s like- It’s distinguishing feature. So, while I may not have been safe, chances are I wasn’t about to be murdered by a ghost. I hope.

Anyway, I found the letter from Cassia to her mother, it’s one of the letters on display. It never got sent.

‘Mother,

‘It has been too long since we last confided in one another. It has, equally, been too long since I last saw Henry. Moving into his old house has been an adventure to say the least. I dread to think how he treated the servants for none of them to stick around the house.

‘We arrived; the house was empty. Save for some taps left running, and the trapdoor to the basement open, there was no sign of anyone having lived there for a while. The servants were nowhere to be found, and Bartholemew was concerned the servants had been treated poorly. This meant we had to buy our own servants. But the fortune left by Henry was big enough that it barely put a dent in our money.

‘Oh, mother, I am afraid. This house is making me uneasy. I do fear the spirits of my brother, and his family, haunt us for our arrogance, taking his home from his dead body. I do believe I hear footsteps at night, and I will awake to find doors open we did not leave open. I do not believe it is the servants – they have been specifically asked not to bother us at night, or go close to our rooms.

‘William is afraid as well, him even more so than I am. He keeps telling me he wishes to go home. I would have thought he was enjoying his new room – much larger than his old one. He says there is a mean spirit within the room that wants him gone. Bartholemew is often locked away in his study, he will not listen to our pleas. William says that the ghost of his cousin haunts his old room. Edward too says he can hear footsteps.

‘Oh mother, I wish to go home. But alas, Everwich Manor is our home now.

‘I do wish you are well, and I cannot wait until I can see you again.

‘Yours faithfully, Cassia.’

It’s definitely easy to see the grief that Cassia must have been feeling. And it makes it seem like William was in Charles’ old room – which, as I may have mentioned before – is the room that I’m currently in. It’s these sorts of letters, diaries and other personal statements that helps me create my theories about Everwich.

I wonder what happened to the servants. There’s no records of the servants leaving, or being told to go. They just disappeared. I hope they didn’t befall the same fate as the Florences and the Greenes. The servants for the Greenes left when the first murder of one of their family happened – Bartholemew. Then it was William. Then Mary, then Edward and Cassia.

Anyway, I think that’s all for this Secret of Everwich, thanks for listening!

[Click]

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 32

fandoms: dc, fma, mdzs, svsss

dc

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge

(mature)

The problem is that Tim’s spent the past month or so slowly getting murdered.

(AKA, An AU where Jason never went to Ethiopia, and Tim takes a different road home to the Waynes.)

Anchor by Sohotthateveryonedied

Tim can’t remember the last time his brain was this quiet. Usually, the only times his mind is this clear are when he’s about to pass out from blood loss or drown in the Gotham Sound. Both of those sound appealing, but Tim is too tired to get up and do it. If he had more energy, he might.

fma

Basement Full of these by asdfghjkl_pudding

Edward should have known trying to resurrect his mother wouldn't turn out right, but there is no way this could be possibly equivalent exchange.

we haunt ourselves by sekalaista

"There's something funny about that kid," Maes says. "I just can't put my finger on it."

mdzs

My Boy Builds Coffins by enbysaurus_rex

Lan Zhan, Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren, and their mother flee to Yiling when the boys are children. Lan Zhan discovers a penchant for coffin making.

Themes and Variations in F# Major by defractum (nyargles)

(explicit)

The thing with musical prodigies is that they're soloists, and soloists play alone. He doesn't want to play alone anymore.

-

"A summer guest lecture series? Oh, very nice. I wish I could sit in on that."

"Do you also play the piano?"

"Not even a little bit," says Wei Ying cheerfully. "But I'm sure you'd have a lot of thoughts on musicality that would be relevant regardless."

"Oh," says Lan Zhan. He seems to be searching for something else to say. "I believe it is oversubscribed," he says finally.

"As it should be," says Wei Ying, and does not tell him that he has all of Lan Zhan's albums downloaded onto his phone, listened to over and over when he's on a train, a plane, waiting for a taxi, has followed his career since he overheard half a Mendelssohn when they were fifteen.

blow me to bermuda by victortor

Lan Wangji was born at the beginning of the world. Wei Wuxian was born at the end.

That was simply how it was.

svsss

voluntary victim (tie the noose) by technorat

(explicit)

Looking back at everything, Shen Qingqiu comes to a conclusion: everything that went wrong in his first life happened because of him.

Or, the Peak Lords search for Shen Qingqiu. Too bad he doesn't want to be found.

[intrn37]

I posted 144 times in 2022

That's 144 more posts than 2021!

41 posts created (28%)

103 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fabulousatomicstarburst

@lettersfrombeyondthegrave

@revengeromance

@moldy-junk

@collarful-clover

I tagged 132 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#mcr - 21 posts

#my chemical romance - 17 posts

#xd - 8 posts

#mcr reunion - 6 posts

#gotham series - 6 posts

#gotham fox - 6 posts

#fall out boy - 6 posts

#oswald cobblepot - 5 posts

#gerard way - 5 posts

#edward nygma - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#my only questions are did she leave literally everyone else on the isle and if she let the other three tag along on her world conquest xd

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Guess what I’m finishing!😆 #mychemicalromance #mcr #mcrfanart #dangerdays #killjoys #thetruelivesofthefabulouskilljoys https://www.instagram.com/p/ClOGesqr7ck/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

8 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

#4

No Broadway musical songs really make me that sad or hit me hard except for one

And that’s Carrie’s “And Eve Was Weak”

It shows the impact of being overly religious and how it affects people around you. 

I am Christian myself and I don’t see any problem with loving your religion openly or making it a bigger part of your life than other people. But this song is telling people about the impacts of being too religious, too dependant on the things they deem holy, to the point where they can’t even see a problem in front of their own eyes.

For example, Mrs White believes that periods are caused by sin and won’t even listen to Carrie trying to explain what Mrs Gardner told her. She’s so adament that what’s happening to her daughter is because of sin that she’s dismissing the fact that Carrie (who is right in front of her) is clearly distressed and confused.

And even if periods were caused by sin wherever they live, instead of comforting Carrie and calmly explaining things, Mrs White goes into a flying rage screaming about sin and how her (if I’m right) 16-year old daughter must repent for her sins! She even locks Carrie in a basement when Carrie doesn’t get on her knees and pray!

This is a prime example of over-dependence on religion. You become so blinded by the words you hear that you can’t even see what’s happening right in front of you and you think that any misfortune that happened to someone was because of their sin. And unfortunately it still happens in the real world.

Religion is used as an excuse and has been used for YEARS. It really sickens me that people can be so oblivious and cruel to others because “God said so” They use God and the bible to excuse their behaviour as “they will repent” and “nobody is free of sin” 

And WELL, if nobody is free of sin then WHY THE FUCK are you condemning and snubbing these people who do sin in your book when you should be enlightening them and forgiving them if they’re not religious like God (the alpha and the omega himself) fucking told you to, NEARLY A MILLENIA AGO??!!!

15 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#3

If you have no money to buy band posters or your parents won’t let you, Paint the motherfucker yourself😂 #mychemicalromance #mcr #mcrfanart #dangerdays #thetruelivesofthefabulouskilljoys #thewidow #partypoison #kobrakid #jetstar #funghoul #thefabulouskilljoys #gerardway #frankiero #raytoro #mikeyway #mikeyfuckingway #wowthisisalotofhashtags https://www.instagram.com/p/ClkY4wvrHp_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

16 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#2

Four ways of dealing with problems

Marc Spector: Leave it to someone else

Steven Grant: The someone else who's too polite to argue

Jake Lockley: Will tackle it head on even if it's dangerous

Khonshu: bREaK hIS wInDPipe!?!???!!!!**!!

36 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A summary of Moon Knight characters

Steven Grant: Murder is wrong :<

Marc Spector: Violent croissant 

Khonshu: “stupid pigeon”

Layla El-Faouly: #Goddess

Arthur Harrow: Rabid Fanboy

Taweret: The type of friend that makes people scared of them but is actually really friendly

Other avatars: Fucking oblivious idiots

Ammit: Sussy baka

Bonus:

Jake Lockley: Murder is ok >:D

65 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Cool😎

[kinghairington]

Locked Out [E.M.]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Mayfield!reader/fem!reader Word Count: 1.4k Summary: When you get locked out of your trailer in the middle of a freezing night, your knight in shining armor comes in the form of one Edward Munson. Warnings/Notes: SFW ish. Tiny language warning. Fluff. Pre-relationship, if you will. No spoilers. There are no mentions of reader's physical features. Requested. Masterlist.

The heater in Eddie’s van had been trying to go out for weeks. It was usually warm enough to get back home from Gareth’s house without freezing his ass off, but tonight was fucking cold. And his cigarette was doing little to heat him from the inside. 

It was so far the coldest night of the fall, leading perfectly into winter, and the metal of the steering wheel was freezing into the insides of his hands as he drove into the trailer park.

His hand was basically frozen stiff as he jerked the keys out of the ignition and hopped out of the van, dragging his guitar case against the bench seat and slamming the door. He locked it after himself mostly because Wayne had been on to him about that lately. 

Considering it was after 1 a.m., he wasn’t expecting to see anyone out in the cold if they could help it. He was sure everyone around was tucked snug in their beds by now; that was his plan as soon as he got inside at least. 

So, it was a huge surprise to suddenly hear someone cursing close by. 

He held tight to his keys and looked around, not wanting to chance someone coming up behind him. Although, they would’ve been pretty stupid to bring attention to themselves first. 

But it wasn’t a murderer. 

Thankfully. 

It was one of the Mayfield girls across the road standing outside of their trailer and looking completely lost. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” 

You threw your head back after knocking on one of the windows with no luck. 

“Hey, Mayfield!” He shouted, removing the cigarette from between his lips. You jumped and turned your head with wide eyes. “You trying to get hypothermia?”

He was waking over without really thinking about it. They were neighbors, sure, but they didn’t really know each other. He’d seen Wayne talk to your mom a few times and he knew you had been a student at Hawkins High with him the last couple of years. But he never thought to talk to you in all honesty.  

“You’re not dressed for this weather, you know.” He lifted a hand and gestured to your outfit of jeans and a light jacket, the collar of a sweatshirt poking out of the top. It was better suited for hanging out in someone’s basement than outside when it was this cold. 

“It wasn’t this cold when I left.” You shrugged, completely uninterested in his comments. 

“Yeah, no shit.” 

He tossed his cigarette butt onto the dirt and used the toe of his boot to stamp it out. 

“Were you just going to stand out here and freeze to death?”

“I can’t get in,” you said after a moment of glaring at the door. “My friends dropped me off and I don’t know where my key is, or my sister.” 

“She’s not inside?”

“Apparently not. I guess she snuck out, but she’s fine. Trust me. She can handle herself.” 

“I don’t doubt it.” He laughed, thinking about getting yelled at by the little one for trying to give their dog a piece of meat. “Don’t tell her I told you, but she’s kind of scary, that one.” 

“She knows.” 

You grinned at him and he waved a hand toward the Munson trailer. 

“Hey, you should come in and wait for someone to get home. I can’t let you die out here.” 

“I guess that wouldn’t look good on your criminal record.” 

With a smirk, he ignored the comment and began the short walk back across the road.

You ran to catch up with him and didn’t argue when he told you to sit by the propane furnace once the two of you were inside so he could make hot chocolate. 

“Unless you want coffee?” He asked, flipping the heat on and walking into the kitchenette. 

“Hot chocolate’s fine. Thanks.”

He was glad that the trailer was quickly heating up and his fingers no longer felt like they were going to fall off one by one. It made ripping open the hot chocolate packets a lot easier. 

Once he was done, he walked into the living room area and handed you a mug before settling himself on the couch. He watched closely as you lifted herself up from the floor and came over to join him. 

“If you want to go to sleep, I can wake you up when someone comes home.”

Shaking your head, you relaxed into the cushions, and he realized that he could have offered you the blanket that was thrown across the back of the couch behind you. 

“I fell asleep for a while at my friend’s place actually, so I’m okay right now,” you said, slowly sipping the hot chocolate. The silence was oddly comfortable as you both focused on the hot drinks, Eddie kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

Once he was finished with his own drink, he decided the only thing to do to fill the silence other than talk would be to turn on the television, so he grabbed the remote control and scanned the limited channels. “We don’t have cable,” he said as he decided that an infomercial for some kitchen gadget was the most entertaining thing at that time of night. 

After a few minutes of watching, you burst out laughing at the over acting of the host and Eddie joined you. Your laugh was surprisinginly contagious because he really didn’t see what was so funny. He thought it was pretty lame himself, but at least you seemed to be relaxing as you sat there on the small couch with him. 

The infomercial felt like it lasted hours as the host went on and on about the gadget and repeating the same unneeded features. Eventually he muted it and began to pretend to speak for the host. 

This was definitely not the way he saw him night going, but he had to admit that he was having a pretty good time. Or maybe it was nice to have someone laughing at his jokes. 

Once the infomercial was over another started and he groaned playfully.

This time he didn’t pretend to be the host, instead twisting his body toward yours as you started speaking. 

“Hopefully Max’ll be home soon.” You laughed ruefully at yourself, but the sound caused Eddie’s lips to twitch in a smile. “God, how sad is that? I’m waiting for my little sister to get home to let me, technically an adult, into the place.” 

“At least I came around lest you became a snow lady out there.” Eddie threw his arms out and sent you a large smile.

“You are truly a lifesaver, Eddie.”

The smile was still on both of your lips. 

Standing from the couch, you stepped over to the door and looked out to see if anyone had arrived home across the road. 

“Do you think I could use your phone?”

You turned back, your shoulders dropping and your bottom lip caught now between your teeth. 

“It’s pretty late. Do you want to wake up an entire household?” “I know.” You sighed. “It’s just - What if Max really is in danger or she’s been trying to call and I’m just sitting here waiting for her? And my mom may kill me if she gets back before Max.” 

“You can’t control her, you know.” He stood up and pointed out the phone on the wall before putting your mugs in the sink. “Just don’t lead the cops here, please. I have a record.” 

You scoffed at his joke and grabbed the phone, dialing a number. 

It was answered almost immediately.  

“Mrs. Henderson, hi! This is Max Mayfield’s sister. I was just wond- Oh, Dustin’s missing, too, huh?” 

The words were barely out of your mouth before Eddie took a few steps to stand next to you at the phone, his eyes comically wide. “Dustin?” He whispered, taking in your nod as you listened to Mrs. Henderson. He could hear her panic through the phone. 

“Yes, I’m sure they’re together. Yes, yes. With the rest of those little sh-”

You elbowed Eddie gently when he snorted at your near slip up. 

“Sure. I’ll let you know if I hear from any of them. Bye.” 

Eddie jumped into action quickly, clapping his hands and grabbing his keys. 

“You care to go on a late night adventure to find these little rascals? You might want to grab a blanket, though.” He opened the front door and was halfway down the steps, his voice fading while you stood there in disbelief. “My van’s heat isn’t great.”

“I should’ve gone to sleep instead,” you called out with an eye roll as you did what he suggested and grabbed two blankets off of the couch.

[tehejosietehe]

Right Place, Wrong Time

Summary: You’ve been trailing serial killer Robert Pronge for years. Little do you know, he’s been trailing you too.

Word Count: 2.5K

Pairing: Mr. Freezy x Detective!Reader, Andy Barber x Detective!Reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, kidnapping/abduction, explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, degradation, detective kink, spanking, adultery, ***for future parts: dub con (boarderline non con), mentions of sexual assault/rape (IF THIS BOTHERS YOU PLEASE DON’T READ)***, mUrDeR, serial killer freezy vibes, dismemberment descriptions

gif creds @rainbowkisses31

Song Inspiration: Right Place Wrong Time - Dr. John

Queens, NY

November 4th, 1973

“Y/L/N!”

You whipped your head up from your desk, making eye contact with your partner, Wilson, who was bounding towards you, slipping his bomber jacket over his shoulders.

“Freezy with another one. Hoboken PD just fished her out from the Hudson this morning.”

You sighed, closing the stuffed case file on none other than the notorious Mr. Freezy, tossing it into the drawer of your desk.

“This one matches the same descriptions as the others?” You cocked an inquisitive brow as you stood up, tugging on your leather jacket. “Redhead, blue eyes—“

“About seventeen, yeah. Fits the pattern perfectly. Get your stuff. Let’s go take a ride to Jersey.”

As you sat in the passenger seat of Wilson’s patrol car, you scanned through the ever growing Case File 19714439. Freezy had been in the public eye for about two years now. Two years, sixteen female victims, and only one survivor.

Janet Edwards had hardly lived to tell the tale of her mousy haired captor. As much as the public painted her as a strong, surviving hero, you knew Freezy wanted her to be found. He wasn’t messy. He left no trails, no leads. His pattern was predictable, but it often switched up when he felt you growing closer to catching him. Janet was found gagged, bloody, and with her right arm grotesquely severed, only to be found about twelve blocks over in the rear of an alleyway by a group of juveniles.

October 23rd, 1971

“Janet,” you exhaled as you sat across from the woman, passing her a steaming mug of hot chocolate. “I know this is difficult but I’m really gonna need you to go over the story once again.”

She relaxed slightly when she noticed your reassuring smile, “Like I told yous guys before—.” Janet was from Pittsburgh. “Freezy had me hanging from the pipes in a basement… maybe an old butcher shop. It smelled like rotting meat. He tied me down to.. to.. he called it.. taking a souvenir. I thought maybe he was going to rape me, but.. when he brought out that knife.. and he—,” she swallowed hard, taking a long sip from the mug. “Well, you found his souvenir last Monday. I think he got distracted, or something, and i was able to kick him, and get away. I woke up in Brooklyn, and.. that’s all I remember.”

“And you just escaped?” You clarified, furrowing your brows together, as you cocked your head to the side.

“It was almost too easy, detective… it was like he let me go.” Janet’s tears began to fall and she wiped them away with her only hand.

Janet looked remarkably like your little sister, Fiona. Same curly red hair, bright, Bambi blue eyes, same freckled complexion.

Fiona had gone missing back in 1970, her body never turned up. You begged your captain to put you on the case, but he declined profusely. So when the affectionately named Mr. Freezy started murdering young girls with red hair and blue eyes, you hopped on the case like the last round of musical chairs.

“Detectives Wilson and Y/L/N, NYPD. Who’s in charge here?” You and Wilson flashed your badges to one of the units on scene with a polite smile.

“That would be—,”

“Detective Barber, Andy Barber.”

Your head whipped around to find the owner of the gravelly voice.

Never in your life had you felt so self conscious in your height.

Andy Barber stood well over six feet tall, and even in your heels, he towered over you like a redwood.

“Detective Y/N Y/L/N. This is my partner, Detective Sam Wilson.” You introduced yourself, extending your hand to meet his outstretched one.

After a firm handshake and a throat clear from Wilson, Andy pulled his hand away to frustratedly run over his overgrown beard.

“This one ‘a yours? I heard talks about Freezy coming over the Hudson, but he usually keeps to New York.” Andy began as he lead you down to the base of the river, where the victim’s body was blocked off by caution tape and evidence collectors. She was covered with a black tarp, only a small part of her hand visible against the sand.

“Were you guys able to ID her yet?” Wilson asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Not yet. We’ve been going through the missing persons files from the last six months, but nothings turned up yet,” Andy declined, shaking his head.

“We’ll have the coroner take the body back to New York. If that’s alright with you guys?” Turning to face Andy, a gust of wind blew your hair out of your face, and you shivered, before turning back to look at the body. The wind had blown the cover off of the top half of the woman’s body and you froze in place.

Your blood ran cold, knees buckling before Andy caught you from falling. “Detective?” Andy searched Sam’s face for some answer.

“Y/N?” Sam placed a hand on the back of your shoulder, before he followed your gaze over to the body. “Oh, god. Andy, get her out of here.” He commanded the obvious alpha male.

“What?” The man questioned him. “The fuck’s going on?”

“It’s her fucking sister.”

Westchester, NY

June 2nd, 1975

“Jim, please don’t forget you’re picking up Conner for soccer practice after school!” You called out to your husband as he loaded your son into the back of his station wagon. “He has to be there at four thirty sharp, I don’t want to hear it from his coach that he was late!”

Jim saluted you with a wide grin, tipping his chin up as he blew you a kiss. You watched the love of your life disappear down the long residential street, with your arms folded across your chest, when a familiar voice called from the opposite end of the house.

“If it isn’t the hottest mother in all of Westchester.” Andy’s hands were tucked into the pockets of his dress pants, and his eyes met yours with a beautiful, enchanting grin.

Without a word, you both disappeared into your home, and you pressed his back to the door the moment it shut. “You…” you trailed off, your lips immediately attaching to the column of his neck. “Know the rules. Wait five minutes after Jim and Conner leave.”

“Couldn’t help it, angel,” Andy’s voice was gruff as he slipped from between you and the door, pressing his back to your front as he pushed your chest against the wooden door. “This little dress of yours.. you wearin’ it because you know I like it?” His mouth covered the shell of your ear as his hands rucked up your small cotton dress.

“A-Andy,” you choked out, slick coating your thighs as you heard the glorious sound of his belt unbuckling.

SMACK!

“Who?” He mocked, ripping your panties from around your waist.

“Detective,” you mewled, breath hitching in the back of your throat as he pushed the swollen tip of his cock past your folds.

Andy let out an grumbled, hoarse groan, his arm shaking around your waist to toy with your clit. “That’s a good fucking girl.. so hot and ready for me, huh? Dirty little housewife, just begging to be fucked by someone other than that husband of yours?”

His hips pounded against your ass, your flesh jiggling with each thrust. Your hands flew to press against the door, and his covered yours immediately. The cold metal of both of your wedding rings reminded you of the sin you were committing.

This wasn’t the first time, it wasn’t even the tenth time. Andy came by about a week after your sister’s body was found, with a bouquet of daisies and a bottle of red wine. Your entire liquor cabinet later, the two of you were fucked out on the shag carpet in front of your fireplace.

And that’s how it started. Every so often, he’d make an excuse to visit you at the precinct, bringing donuts for the squad, or a file that nobody really needed. You met when you could, and where you could. Yesterday, you called him while Jim was sleeping in, as you cut up a sandwich for Conner, and begged for him to come over today when Jim left. He never denied you, and you never denied him. But it would never be more than that. Mindless animal sex.

SMACK!

“I asked you a fucking question, dumb baby, what’s the matter, you didn’t hear me?” Andy cooed condescendingly, before you yelped at another smack.

“Y-yes, yes, I heard you, I—,” you began to answer him, before he covered your mouth and fucked into you, vigorously rubbing your clit with his free hand. “GOD!”

“That’s a good girl, good fucking whore, gonna make me fill this tight little hole in a minute.” His thrusts became sloppy, and you felt his tip hit your cervix, crying out as you quickly met your release. Andy fucked you through your high, his orgasm following soon after with a shout of your first name.

His head fell onto your shoulder, peppering slow, soft kissed along your neck and up to your ear.

A few moments later, he slowly pulled out of you, causing a few droplets of his seed mixed with your slick to deliciously dribble onto your thighs.

You cleared your throat, composing yourself as you ran your hands through your hair, taming the flyaways as best as you could. “Can I.. do you want some coffee?” You asked him, picking up your ripped panties from the floor, holding them in your hand as you folded your arms.

“I want to talk to you about something,” he blurted out nervously, after tucking himself back into his dress pants.

You nodded, leaning up from against the door before walking into the kitchen with Andy hot on your heels. “‘Course, shoot.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

The coffee mug you picked up slipped out of your hand and into the sink, shattering into a million pieces.

The sound felt like an atom bomb went off in your kitchen, and the silence that followed? Deafening.

“Say something,” he begged, no doubt folding his hands on top of the kitchen island.

“Andy..” you trailed off, turning around to face him, the corner of your lips unintentionally quirking up into a smile at your accurate prediction. “What do I say?”

“I’m leaving Laurie. Jacob goes to college in the fall, I have a lawyer drawing up the papers now.” His eyes met yours, desperately seeking an answer. “I think you should leave Jim.”

Could you leave Jim?

Did you love Andy?

What about Conner?

And Laurie?

You knitted her a blanket when her mom died. You sent her cookies during Christmastime. She have you some of Jacob’s old clothes that she’d saved, for Conner.

Did you love Andy?

“Please, say something, Y/N. I’m.. I’m in love with you.”

In the years you’ve known Andy, you’d never seen him look so vulnerable. So desperate. As you paced back and forth across the kitchen, a million and one thoughts ran through your mind.

“Jim gets home at six,” you murmured, “Jim gets home at six.” This time it was louder.

The male’s expression turned into a hopeful smile.

“Six o’clock. I’ll tell him.” You nodded a few times, and Andy met you in the middle of the kitchen, his large hands cupping your cheeks as he placed a hungry kiss to your waiting mouth.

“Say it,” he mumbled out against your lips, brushing his thumbs across your cheeks.

“I love you, Andy.” You responded without hesitation, a small smile forming across your face.

A moment of silence passed, before Andy exhaled, closing his eyes for a moment, before opening them again to look down at you, “I gotta head back to the precinct. Call me later. Please.

You nodded, and he gave you a quick, chaste goodbye kiss, before leaving you in the kitchen alone, and exiting your house.

He was yours. Andy Barber was yours. And you were his.

Happier than a pig in shit, you strutted your way over to the well loved stereo in your living room, flicking on the power.

The outro of ‘Sir Duke’ flowed beautifully into the techno introduction of one of your favorite songs.

You couldn’t help but dance your way back into the kitchen to clean up the mess you’d made in the sing.

I been in the right place,

but it must have been the wrong time

I'd have said the right thing

But must have used the wrong line

I been on the right trip

But I must have used the wrong car

Head is in a bad place and I wonder what it's good for

I been in the right place

But it must have been the wrong time

You sang out loud, swaying your hips back and forth, losing yourself to the beat of the electric bass and bongo drums. It was a feel good song, one you loved to blast in your Impala as you flew across the bridge, down the busy streets of Manhattan.

Had you not been blasting on full volume, you would’ve heard the glass of your back door break.

Had you not been blasting on full volume, you would’ve heard his heavy booted footsteps come up behind you.

Had you not been blasting on full volume, you would have noticed the extra presence in your kitchen, before it was too late.

Drip, drop.

Drip, drop.

Drip, drop.

Ow…

Your head lolled forward, side to side, before your heavy eyelids lifted, surveying your surroundings.

Your arms were sore, stiff, nearly numb as they hung over your head, cuffed to a damn near fully rusted pipe.

What in the ever loving fuck?

You were just about to try and muster up a, ‘help!’ before the familiar chords of your favorite song blasted at full volume throughout the basement(?).

I been in the right place,

but it must have been the wrong time

What the fuck?

I'd have said the right thing

But must have used the wrong line

Where actually am I?

I been on the right trip

But I must have used the wrong car

Another voice joined in the next verse.

Deep, raspy, cigarette tainted.

“Head is in a bad place and I wonder what it's good for

I been in the right place

But it must have been the wrong time,”

Your eyes desperately searched for its owner, head frantically whipping back and forth, before you stopped in defeat.

A set of footsteps approached you, your eyes fixating on the dark brown boots tucked under a pair of dark wash jeans.

A calloused hand tucked itself under your chin, and tilted you up to look your partner dead in the eye.

“So you’re the one who’s been snoopin’ in on me for four years,” the long haired man slurred, a sloppy, devilish grin across his lips. “I didn’t know they’d have such a pretty girl on my case, sugar.”

Your eyes met his baby blues, tired and bleary, bloodshot, like he’d been up for thirty six hours straight.

It took every ounce of energy you had to muster out your whisper.

“You’re..” You began, chest heaving in fear, as you tried your absolute hardest to keep your calm.

“That’s it, doll, use that pretty mouth.”

Bastard.

“Freezy.”

divider creds to @firefly-graphics

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, shoot me an ask or a message! Thank y’all for reading 🖤

- Jo 🪐

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

 and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

 so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy 

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching? 

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled 

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)  

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up. 

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails 

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

 after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning  https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’ 

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music 

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it 

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet. 

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency 

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch 

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice 

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

[dailyunsolvedmysteries]

The Lipstick Killer

William George Heirens (November 15, 1928 – March 5, 2012) was an American criminal and possible serial killer who confessed under police torture to and was subsequently controversially convicted of three murders in 1946. Heirens was called the Lipstick Killer after a notorious message scrawled in lipstick at a crime scene.

On June 5, 1945, 43-year-old Josephine Ross was found dead in her Chicago apartment. She had been repeatedly stabbed, and her head was wrapped in a dress. Dark hairs were clutched in hand. No valuables were taken from the apartment. Police were unable to identify a man reportedly seen loitering nearby or running away.

On December 10, 1945, Frances Brown was discovered with a knife lodged in her neck and bullet wound to the head in her apartment. Nothing was taken, but a message was written in lipstick on the wall: "For heavens Sake catch me Before I kill more I cannot control myself".

Police found a bloody fingerprint smudge on the doorjamb of the entrance door. A witness heard gunshots about 4 am, and the building's night clerk said a nervous man of 35 to 40 years old, and weighing 140 pounds, got off the elevator and left.  At one point Chicago Police said they had reason to believe the killer was a woman.

On January 7, 1946, six-year-old Suzanne Degnan was discovered missing from her first-floor bedroom in Edgewater, Chicago. Police found a ladder outside her window, and a ransom note: "Get $20,000 ready & wait for my word. Do not notify the FBI or police. Bills are in 5's & 10's. Burn this for her safety."

A man repeatedly called the Degnan residence demanding the ransom.

Chicago Mayor Edward Kelly also received a note: This is to tell you how sorry I am not to not get ole Degnan instead of his girl. Roosevelt and the OPA made their own laws. Why shouldn't I and a lot more?

Acting on an anonymous tip, police discovered Degnan's head in a sewer a block from the Degnan residence, her right leg in a catch basin, her torso in another storm drain, and her left leg in another drain. Her arms were found a month later in another sewer. Blood was found in the drains of laundry tubs in the basement laundry room of a nearby apartment building.

The coroner fixed the time of death at between 12:30 and 1:00 am and stated that a very sharp knife had been used to expertly dismember the body. A basement laundry room near the Degnans' home was located in which it appeared that Degnan had been dismembered, though it was determined that she was already dead when she was taken there. A coroner's expert stated that the killer was "either a man who worked in a profession that required the study of anatomy or one with a background in dissection...not even the average doctor could be as skilful, it had to be a meat cutter"; the coroner added that it was "very clean job with absolutely no signs of hacking."

In February 1946, Suzanne Degnan's arms were found by sewer workers about a half mile from her home after her remains had already been interred. By April, some 370 suspects had been questioned and cleared.

In June 26, 1946, 17-year-old William Heirens was arrested for attempted burglary. During a scuffle he was knocked unconscious by several blows to the head. According to Heirens, he drifted into unconsciousness under questioning and was interrogated around the clock for six consecutive days, beaten, and starved. He was not allowed to see his parents for four days. He was also refused the opportunity to speak to a lawyer for six days. Two psychiatrists, Doctors Haines and Roy Grinker, gave Heirens sodium pentothal without a warrant and without Heirens's or his parents' consent, and interrogated him for three hours. Under the influence of the drug, authorities claimed, Heirens spoke of an alternate personality named "George", who had actually committed the murders. Heirens claimed that he recalled little of the drug-induced interrogation and that when police asked for "George's" last name he said he couldn't remember, but that it was "a murmuring name". Police translated this to "Murman" and the media later dramatized it to "Murder Man". What Heirens actually said is in dispute, as the original transcript has disappeared. In 1952, Dr Grinker revealed that Heirens had never implicated himself in any of the killings.

On his fifth day in custody, Heirens was given a lumbar puncture without anesthesia. Moments later, Heirens was driven to police headquarters for a polygraph test. They tried for a few minutes to administer the test, but it was rescheduled for several days later after they found him to be in too much pain to cooperate.

When the polygraph was administered, authorities, including State's Attorney William Tuohy, announced that the results were "inconclusive." On July 2, 1946, he was transferred to the Cook County Jail, where he was placed in the infirmary to recover.

While handwriting analysts did not definitively link Heirens's handwriting to the "Lipstick Message", police claimed that his fingerprints matched a print discovered at the scene of the Frances Brown murder. It was first reported as a "bloody smudge" on the door jamb. Furthermore, a fingerprint of the left little finger also allegedly connected Heirens to the ransom note with nine points of comparison. As Heirens's nine points of comparison were loops, this could also provide a match to 65% of the population. At the time, Heirens's supporters pointed out that the FBI handbook regarding fingerprint identification required 12 points of comparison matching to have a positive identification. 

[harperhug]

So I was thinking about this post, but with a little more actual plot this time below the cut. @nick-wilde-is-hot I made an extra, unrelated character survive, just for you. Obviously, trigger warning for child death, but if you saw any of the movies mentioned, this is much, much tamer than all of them:

So James McAvoy plays an adult Finn Blake, staring at Deputy So-And-So at the library as the latter looks up property records for the earliest Bughuul-haunted houses he could find. The deputy goes outside to call someone who lives near one of the houses, and Finn follows him out just in time to hear the deputy greet Amy Yamada. Finn sneaks off to call his sister (who is played by Kathryn Adams, because I just happen to be watching House MD right now and that was the first name I saw) to ask if she’s had any dreams lately, and Gwen says she’s been having dreams about Amy Yamada (played by Rinko Kikuchi, mostly so Mana Ashida can play young Amy) saying “Like finds like” and reaching her hand out. Finn tells Gwen about seeing Deputy So-And-So and how he looks exactly like Max.

Back at her home, Amy, an alcoholic with dead parents, tells the deputy (let’s call him Ward, like Edward, but not Eddie) that she exchanged letters with the family who used to live the house, which takes her a while to find, but she does and she tells him their new address. After the call, Amy realizes how weird it was that the letters suddenly stopped, so she looks up the new address and her first result is a news article about the family burning to death in their own garage. The second is a sales record for the house, which says that the house was sold again within the year, then one more time (again within a year). She decides to go investigate the house and finds Ward in the process of burning it. He tells her about Bughuul and how it infects homes and families. Amy asks where the curse came from, and Ward responds that it could only have been multiple child murders in the same house. Amy tells him about what happened at 4471 and 2, and they both agree to go there to see if they can do anything.

Gwen and Finn go to 7741 and 7742, respectively, just before Wars and Amy arrive at the latter. Finn takes Wars into the basement, and while Amy feels very uncomfortable, Ward actually feels safe. Finn asks if he knows a Max Shaw, and Ward says Max was his father, who disappeared almost right after he was born. Finn tells him that Max died in this basement, so his soul may still be here, which would be why Ward feels safe and Finn and Amy very much do not. He adds that he may have been destined to investigate this case. “Like finds like.” His father investigated The Grabber, who accidentally fed Bughuul children’s souls until he grew strong enough to infect the earliest Bughuul-haunted house. (I know the timeline doesn’t add up. Be quiet.)

Ward says he’s been going around burning houses to end the curse, but maybe he can strike at the source: the houses where The Grabber killed and buried his victims and Max, since the Norwegian family on Dr. Stromberg’s tape lived in 4471 and the family that drowned in Sacramento lived in 4472. Ward contacts Dr. Stromberg to ask if there’s a ritual that could take souls from Bughuul, and they could perform it. Stromberg tells them they need something for the soul to gravitate to. They need to find a token to remind the kids who they were before they died. (Yes this is basically the ritual of Chud.) Amy’s related to Bruce, so she can basically be his token. She takes one of his plastic baseball trophies just in case.

Gwen remembers when she saw an eyeshadow palette at a store window that she couldn’t afford that Showalter bought for her “But only if I can borrow it. And call me Christine when it’s my turn to use it.” She buys a small makeup kit and labels it “For Christine” in glittery blue ink. Finn still has the bike lock he took from The Grabber’s house, but he forgot the combination. But Amy remembers because she used to have a crush on Griffin because he used to let her ride with him, which her parents never would because she was supposed to stay home and study. Amy visits the store where the pinball machine was, remembering the time she bumped into him and started crying because she thought he was gonna beat her up, and instead he helped her get home and taught her how to identify the good alcohol that’s worth stealing. She gets a pinball for Vance, but also steals a bottle of tequila. Finn goes to the nursing home Robin’s uncle (Antonio Banderas, because I like looking at him) lives in and breaks him out. They buy a copy of Texas Chainsaw Massacre just in case.

Amy goes to 7741 and lies in Bruce’s grave, hand out-stretched, calling for Bruce’s help like Gwen had pictured. The tokens are put in a circle around her, candles in between them. The candles are suddenly extinguished right as Bruce takes her hand. Gwen, Finn, and Amy can see all the kids standing there, along with Max and Bughuul. Bruce and Amy hug before she pulls him through, and Bughuul vomits out Ted (from “Fishing Trip” in Sinister 2). Amy gives Christine the eye make up and tells her to come out (in more ways than one) and be herself. Bughuul vomits out Emma (from “Christmas Morning” in Sinister 2). Amy gives Griffin his bike back and tells him to take her on a ride on it when he gets out. Bughuul vomits up Peter (“Kitchen Remodel”). Finn and Robin’s uncle pull Robin back and watch him grow up, old and new memories overlaid on top of each other. Bughuul vomits out Catherine (“Trip to the Dentist”). Amy asks Vance to teach her how to play pinball, and Max gets to hug his son. Ward pulls Max out and Amy has just started to pull Vance back when Albert Shaw appears out of nowhere and hits Amy because she’s not a ghost, nor psychic enough to see him. Vance and Ward jump in to defend her, both of them also getting beaten because Bughuul is helping him. Amy tries to save Vance again, but Vance keeps trying to fight Albert until Max goes back in and pulls his brother back into hell, pushing Vance out. Bughuul no longer has the energy to hold anyone’s souls so the rest of Bughuul’s victims (except Zach because he died a different way) are returned in a bright flash.

Finn wakes up in the same bed as Robin (Gael García Bernal because, again, I like looking at him), 27 years after Robin died but also didn’t. Gwen opens her eyes to her helping an adult Vance (Dacre Montgomery, because come on) with his hair as Amy tries and fails to do the same for Bruce (Remy Hii and no I do not care that he’s not Japanese) for their wedding, before yelling for Griffin (Robert Clark) to do his hair instead. Either Griffin kisses Amy before going in, or Gwen kisses Amy on her way out, depending on how you guys think this should end. Ward opens his eyes when Ellison Oswalt asks if his class on forensic pathology is boring, and Ward says no. Ellison laughs and introduces a clean-shaven version of James Sandin, who talks about how to survive a home invasion. Christine’s (Candis Cayne) puppy is carrying the rings, and Stephanie Stevenson is the flower girl. Pastor Milo Jacobs (“Sunday Service” in Sinister 2) has Vance and Bruce read their vows. (And if people really want him to live I guess Zach could be playing at the reception with Caleb and Courtney.) Amy sees her parents give Bruce away, and fidgets with her sobriety chip.

Amy goes outside because everything’s better now that her brother’s back and she feels like she failed at everything. Bruce finds her and says that she’s the reason he even met Vance, and her trust in him is why he trusted him too and why they got together. So technically they created their happy ending together and he loves her. Finn tells Ward that, since Albert had psychic abilities, Max probably did too, and Ward most likely has some level of it. All of the ghost boys will always be half-in half-out of the ghost world, and Amy—who touched it briefly—will have a little bit of perception left. Gwen or Griffin waves to Amy as she comes in and they dance.

[camelspit]

"I was suddenly reminded of a painting I'd seen many years ago." Edward. Edward I don't care. I genuinley can't express enough how little I care.

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

Rivalry

requested by @micapearls (ed hearing jon full body laugh for the first time)

Ever since he first met Jonathan Crane, Edward has had an unshakable fixation on eliciting any type of emotional expression from the other man. To the untrained eye it would appear Jonathan was unable to experience any human emotions beyond displeasure and annoyance. Jonathan doesn’t cry, he doesn’t shout when they argue, he doesn’t allow any facial expression to inadvertently cross his stoic features. Over time, Edward has been able to get a better feel for the subtle cues that indicate his partner’s emotional state, but Jonathan still makes an effort to hold his feelings and opinions close to his chest. Edward wants so badly to break him of this habit. He’s lost count of the amount of meaningless arguments he’d blown out of proportion in the hopes of making Jonathan visibly angry. But perhaps that’s just trauma reenactment.

It was after one such failed attempt to goad Jonathan into an argument that Edward finally got what he was looking for. He had unsuccessfully tried to get a rise out of the other man, throwing out the cruelest, most spiteful things he could think of. Things he didn’t mean, things he doesn’t want Jonathan to think he meant. Unfortunately, this only resulted in Jonathan disappearing off into the lab, leaving Edward to sulk alone in the living room. He’s sitting on the couch, staring absently at the television when Jonathan finally reappears from the basement, his expression as austere and unreadable as ever.

“I’m having a drink,” the older man announces, breezing past Edward and into the kitchen. He removes a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and holds it up for Edward to see. “Do you want one?”

Edward doesn’t particularly care for whiskey but he can recognize a peace offering when he sees one. He nods wordlessly, sliding to one end of the sofa to make room for Jonathan to sit if he wanted to.

Jonathan pours the two drinks, bringing them into the living room and handing one to Edward. He accepts. Takes a small sip, trying to ignore the unpleasant taste.

“What are you watching?” Jonathan asks as he sits down a respectful distance away from Edward.

“News,” he says. “I’m looking at it more than I’m really watching it.”

Jonathan studies the screen for a few moments, sipping his own drink steadily. “Turn up the volume,” he says abruptly.

Edward obliges, directing his own attention to the TV as well. The reporter onscreen is standing in front of the Gotham University campus. There are cop cars and officers crowded around the building, many of them with heavy tactical gear and weapons.

“Shit, I hope whatever this is doesn’t screw up the heist I had planned for next weekend,” Edward mutters as he puts his drink down on the table.

“…As you can see the police are behind me attempting to negotiate the release of the thirteen hostages currently being held on the University grounds.” The camera cuts away from the reporter to show a closer shot of the police officers at the scene. Edward can make out commissioner Gordon speaking into a walkie-talkie at the front of the group. Bullock stands beside him, looking generally burly and gruff but otherwise not contributing much. “The location and condition of the hostages is unclear; all we know is that those thirteen students and faculty members are trapped somewhere in the Joker’s sadistic maze. More updates on the way as we continue to document the most recent criminal exploits of Gotham’s most fearsome criminal.”

“Ouch,” Jonathan says dryly. “Seems unfair that I’m not the most fearsome criminal in this city but I suppose there’s no accounting for taste.”

Edward, in the meantime, is too busy trying to navigate the mixture of anger, surprise, and jealousy that has begun burning in his chest to even register Jonathan’s comment. “He—I feel like I’m having a stroke, I mean, did that reporter say what I think she said?” he splutters, standing up from the couch to gesticulate wildly at the screen.

“What’s your problem?” Jonathan asks. “Joker does something like this every week, you can’t be surprised at this point.”

“You don’t understand,” he snaps, ignoring the heat he can feel rising into his face and ears. “I was going to do a sadistic maze at the university. Me! That fucking clown stole my idea! I mean, am I the only person with any goddamn integrity in this vile city?” He collapses back onto the couch, throwing his arms up. “I had the whole thing planned out, all the pieces built and ready to be set up and he just swoops in with his dollar store makeup and awful dye job and ruins everything like he always does. I mean, do you know how hard it is to build a maze from scratch and make it appear with fully functional traps and people in it before the cops show up? It’s not easy, I’ll say that. And it’s not cheap either!”

Jonathan watches Edward’s hysterical monologue in silence, takes a few moments to digest the entirety of the rant, and then bursts out laughing.

Edward’s jaw drops. Usually when Jonathan laughs it’s little more than a sharp exhale or the hint of a smile. But this laugh is a loud, unrestrained cackle, so raspy in places it almost sounds like a wheeze. It’s the first time he’s ever seen his partner seem genuinely tickled by something and he can’t even enjoy it because it’s at his own expense. He can’t tell if he’s more shocked to see his partner’s entire body wracked with laughter, or more indignant that he’s being laughed at in the first place. He snaps his mouth shut, his face screwing up into a scowl. “It’s not funny.”

“It absolutely is. Your whole thing with the Joker is hilarious.”

“It is not! He’s completely destroying my reputation, my career in this town. I mean, now I can never do that heist I had planned because the Joker already did it and everyone’s already accusing me of ripping off his costume and gimmick. If I even mention that I had the same idea, then people are going to try and accuse me of stealing his fucking intellectual property too.” He gets up again, pacing almost frantically around the room. “It doesn’t even make sense for him to do something with a school, I mean, I’m the one whose whole aesthetic and MO has to do with knowledge and learning. He should go terrorize a fucking comedy club or something, leave the higher education to those of us whose brain cells haven’t been fried by a vat of acid.” He glares at Jonathan who is still doubled over with laughter. “Stop laughing at me, I’m serious.”

He raises a hand to cover his mouth, though it does nothing to soothe his amusement. “I’m sorry. But you have to admit, you sound ridiculous right now.”

“I fail to see how this is ridiculous.”

“You’re demanding artistic integrity from a man who dresses like a clown and kills people for fun.” Jonathan manages to stifle his laughter a bit, but Edward knows he’s never going to let him live this down. “Besides, neither of you went to college so I don’t see how you have more of a right to a university based maze heist than him.”

He rolls his eyes. Jonathan loves to point out that Edward never went to college because it’s the only real accomplishment he has that Edward couldn’t easily replicate. Just because Jonathan suffered through nine years of higher education that would have driven Edward into a murderous rage doesn’t mean he’s better than him. “A maze is a type of puzzle is it not? Last time I checked I was the prince of puzzles which, in my eyes, makes me more entitled to use mazes in my traps. I also think it makes me sound cooler. I mean, ‘clown prince of crime’? How pathetic is that.”

“They’re both pathetic,” Jonathan says. “I don’t know why people keep trying to call us princes like we’re not all broke psychopaths.”

“I’m not broke.”

“But you don’t deny being a psychopath?”

Edward continues to glower at the other man who is still fighting against a smile. “I can’t believe you’re not on my side right now.”

Jonathan shrugs. “I mean, you have to admit your costume color schemes are remarkably similar.”

“They are not! My preferred color scheme is green and purple, his is purple and green, okay, they’re distinctly different!”

“Edward,” he says, using that tone he always takes when Edward is acting irrational, “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously?”

“Not in the slightest,” he insists, knowing that this is arguably a stupid thing to care about. “You’ll never know what it’s like to always play second fiddle to everyone’s favorite costumed criminal. At least people are scared of you. Everyone just thinks I’m some kind of joke thief.”

“Well, maybe you need to give them something to be scared of. Show them you mean business.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you propose I do that in a way that is both on brand and not derivative of the Joker’s own crime sprees?”

Jonathan’s smile changes, becoming less humorous and more devious. Edward can see the familiar gleam in his eye that indicates the Scarecrow’s mind is hard at work. There’s the Jonathan he’s used to. “I bet I could give you a few ideas,” he says slyly, finishing the rest of his drink in a single swallow. “If you don’t have any qualms about torturing people.”

Despite the fact that he’s still annoyed with Jonathan for making fun of him, Edward can’t help but flash a smile back at the other man. There’s just something about those clever, sinister eyes that always draw him right back in. “What did you have in mind?”

[365days365movies]

April 5, 2021: Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) (Recap: Part One)

Yeah, so...Spectrum exploded last night.

So, I'm unfortunately a little behind. BUT NEVER FEAR! I'll get back on time before you know it! So, uh...where were we last time? OH RIGHT! Let's talk about black comedy. And I don't mean black-and-white comedies, or comedies prominently featuring African-American culture and demographic. No, I mean dark comedies.

The "black comedy" functions off of macabre or taboo humor and jokes, and is often closely associated with biting satire and commentary in film. That definition is loose as hell, I know, but it's all about the subject matter. The most common subject matter for dark humor is death, of course, and related subjects to death. War, murder, strife, madness, and violence are also common topics here.

Some of the best comedies are black comedies, though. For example, Brazil (1985; dir. Terry Gilliam) focuses on themes of depression, dreams, terrorism, totalitarian governments, and madness. And it's GREAT. How about The Death of Stalin (2018; dir. Armando Iannucci)? The title ALONE should tell you everything you need to know about the tone and topic, AND YET...

It's HILARIOUS. And also informative! If you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it. And again, that film is about, well...the death of Stalin, and the fallout of his disastrous and murderous regime. Dark, DARK topic, but very funny movie.

Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb is about war; Fargo is about murder in North Dakota; Heathers is about a toxic relationship and the death and murder of teenagers; Birdman, or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance is about an actor's existential crisis and complete mental breakdown; and Trainspotting is about the devastating effects of drug addiction and features a DEAD BABY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE...and yet they're all full of laughs! Except for the baby scene. Fuck me, the baby scene in Trainspotting.

So, yeah, these are a diverse group of films, that's for sure. But where does it all start? There's 1942's To Be or Not to Be (dir. Ernst Lubitsch), which is about a Polish theatre company who need to escape in the midst of...well, 1942 Poland. If you don't get why that's dark, you should probably look up some history, bud. Charlie Chaplin would dip into the role in 1947's Monsieur Verdoux, which I mentioned last time. And there's the seldom-talked-about Kind Hearts and Coronets (dir. Robert Hamer), a 1949 film about murder for status, essentially.

But it's hard to argue that the most prominent early black comedy is 1944's Cary Grant vehicle, Arsenic and Old Lace.

Directed by Frank Capra, this film was based on a 1941 stage play, and is about...well, we'll get to it. While its prominence as a black comedy is one reason I'm watching this movie, the other is...well, to be honest, this is a movie I heard about CONSTANTLY from my Mom, as this is one of her favorites. And yet, like Dirty Dancing, I've somehow never seen it! Let's remedy that.

So, without further ado, let's get into it! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The film starts off with a BANG, as a man calls me a “big simp” to my face! Actually, he’s screaming at a Brooklyn Dodgers game, where a massive fight breaks out. This fight quickly transitions to a city hall, where a line of people are waiting to file marriage licenses. Amongst the line is Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant) and Elaine Harper (Priscilla Lane).

Brewster is hiding from the press, as he’s a famous reviewer, and author of the Bachelor’s Bible, and it would be quite the scandal for him to get married. And yet, he’s head over heels in love with Elaine. After going through an existential crisis about the whole thing, he gives into Elaine’s sweet demeanor, and the two file their marriage license officially.

It’s Halloween day, and we move from the city to the suburbs of Brooklyn, where two policemen, O’Hara (Jack Carson) and Sanders (John RIdgely) are on patrol. Sanders tells O’Hara of the kindly Brewster Sisters, the sweetest women on Earth, both of whom live in the neighborhood. Currently, they are being visited by Reverend Harper (Grant Mitchell), Elaine’s father. He’s speaking with Abby (Josephine Hull) and Martha Brewster (Jean Adair), the kindly aunts of Mortimer. 

Also living there is Mortimer’s brother Teddy Brewster (John Alexander), who apparently believes that he’s Teddy Roosevelt, which is...hilarious. Dude is hilarious, seriously. The cops come over to visit the two, and collect some clothes and toys for local charity. Also, Teddy only leaves a room by screaming “CHAAAAARGE!!!”, and running up the stairs, and I love Teddy a lot.

Reverend Harper and the cops leave for the night, and the sisters settle down for the evening. Abby and Martha state that their plans for Elaine and Mortimer should go as scheduled, which is probably talking about their marriage. Abby also mentions that she’s done something while she was away, to Martha’s delight and surprise. They tell Teddy that he’ll soon be digging a new lock for the Panama Canal...whatever that means.

Martha’s about to go to the basement to see what Abby’s done, but she states that because she was all by herself, the surprise is in the window seat. As she’s about to look at the surprise, Elaine shows up in the window, and the two arrive to give the happy news that they’re married. Elaine goes to tell her father of the news, while Mortimer goes to tell his sweet aunts. Afterwards, the two will be on their honeymoon, going to Niagara Falls. And I should say, they’re quite a sweet couple.

After telling the news to his aunts, he asks them where his notes are for his new controversial book, Mind Over Matrimony. They go to look for it around the house, and Teddy comes downstairs, dressed up in attire to “go to Panama.” Aunt Abby comes across a childhood picture of Jonathan, Mortimer’s brother and apparently a violent sociopath or some sort. She goes to burn the picture (geez), and Mortimer continues to look for the notes. He goes to the window seat.

Yup! It’s a body! Looks like Abby and Martha’s sweet old lady act is a guise for some myurder! Which I know, just because it’s the most famous thing about the movie. However, Mortimer thinks the murderer is Teddy, and tells his sweet old aunts about the body, asking that he gets put into an asylum. But Abby notes that Teddy didn’t kill the man, and they already know about the body!

Which, yeah, surprises Mortimer, obviously.

Abby cheerfully admits that the man, Mr. Hoskins, was poisoned by a tainted glass of elderberry wine, and that they did so on purpose, hiding the body before the Reverend came for a visit. The whole thing isn’t a big deal; it’s just Abby and Martha’s little secret!

After they leave, and brush off the whole thing as easy as needlepoint or macramé as a hobby, Mortimer, is completely broken by the whole affair, and is partially convinced that he’s dreaming. All the while, Elaine’s trying to get Mortimer to come over and speak with her father. But Mortimer can’t exactly forget about this whole silly murder thing, and goes to confront his aunts about it. He learns that Teddy’s digging not a lock, but a grave in the cellar. As he’s done with 10 other bodies. Or maybe it’s 11 others?

After picking up a phone call from Elaine, then hanging up abruptly (and understandably), Mortimer finds out how this whole thing started. See, the two have a “Renters Wanted” sign in their front lawn, and the neighborhood thinks that it’s there so the two sweet old ladies can offer help to anyone in need, even though they aren’t actually renting to anyone. In reality...well, they do it for another reason.

See, an older gentleman stopped by a bit ago, and he had a heart attack right there in the living room. After seeing how peaceful he looked, the two decided to bring in other lonely old men and bring in the same kind of peace. And from there...well, yeah, you get the general idea. They’ve been poisoning them with arsenic, strychnine, and cyanide mixed in with elderberry wine. Apparently, Martha’s got the mixture just right so that it tastes delicious. With all this explained, they offer Mortimer a sip of wine. Which he’s understandably nervous about.

But with all of that done, Elaine comes over to check in on him. But he’s not able to tell her anything, which greatly (and understandably) confuses her. He basically kicks her out (which enrages her, once again understandably), and calls a judge with the intent to frame the whole affair on Teddy, who’s always been.unstable. Which, for the record, is not even SLIGHTLY going to solve the problem.

But as he’s on the phone, a man named Gibbs (Edward McWade) comes in to rent an apartment. He’s all alone in the world, with nobody to care for him. And of course, this leads to the women trying to poison him with the wine. It’s a funny yet tense moment as he stops just short of drinking the wine, distracted by Mortimer’s freakout over the phone. But Mortimer gets off the phone JUST in time to scare Gibbs away and stop him from drinking the wine. And it is...VERY funny, goddamn.

As Mortimer tries to tell the aunts exactly what’s wrong with what they’re doing, the phone rings. It’s a call from Witherspoon (Edward Everett Horton), who runs an asylum that Mortimer wants Teddy committed into. However, they don’t quite have room for him, as they have too many Theodore Roosevelts at present. However, they do need more Napoleon Bonapartes. I love this goddamn movie.

Still, Witherspoon agrees to take him in despite that, and Mortimer head out to get the paperwork done. However, he asks his aunts to not do anything until he gets back, and he also proises that he’ll attend the “services” for their latest victim. He leaves, and kinda steals a cabbie’s car in the process (I love this movie, I’m telling you), and Abby and Martha start shutting things down for the night. However, as they do, they get a mysterious knock on the door. They pretend not to be home...only for a man with an ominous scar to enter the room regardless.

Let’s pause here, shall we? See you in Part 2!

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Part two of the first words au suggested by my girl, Sima, as demanded requested.

I am Not Happy about this

I'm a very big fan of saying "fuck canon" in favour of my otp happening but honestly ,,,,, the pain is too great to pass up so here we go.

It took months for Hamish to properly open up verbally. When he did, Vera asked about the ring. He told her all about Cassie and Nico, save the bit about the Knights.

It was a few more months when Hamish started visiting the old places he used to love to favourite with Cassie, but they still weren't the same. He didn't mind, though. They were just places now. Places that held pleasant memories. Now, important places are where he goes with Vera.

Hamish is on his way to meeting Vera when he runs into Randall Carpio. The man is crazy, Hamish first thinks. Then, he'd make a good knight.

"Who's the lovely lady? Hi, I'm Randall Carpio, and you are?"

"Taken."

"Damnit, Hamish!"

Vera finds him endearing, somewhat, as one would a toddler. Two days later, Hamish decides to invite Randall into the Knights. Greybeard chooses him and they celebrate. It feels good to have someone to talk to about things only a Knight would understand. He thought about Vera, but after Cassie, he didn't think he could handle it. Besides, Randall looks like he'd take on a wolf without being one of them. He's perfect for the job.

Hamish knocks on Vera's door late one night.

"Are you okay?" "Can I stay here tonight? Please."

Vera obviously lets him in.

"You ever meet someone and you know they've done nothing wrong at all, but it feels like they're trying to replace someone you've lost?" Vers tries a joke, "This isn't about me and Cassie, is it?" Thankfully, Hamish finds the joke funny. "You, no. Cassie, yes. Randall's made this friend and honestly there's nothing wrong with her but . . . it's like she's wearing Cassie's favourite jacket and I can't get her to take it off."

Hamish intentionally leaves out the part where he was the one who opened the doors for Lilith. Vera would find the metaphor much more impactful if she knew Hamish meant Timber.

Hamish doesn't talk much about Lilith to Vera, though it's not as if they get a chance to talk at all. Now with Randall and Lilith knighted, Hamish has found purpose outside of Vera -- taking down the Order. They were what got Nico killed and they were what got Cassie killed. Hamish knew the Order was the bad magic he's supposed to fight. In addition, Vera's just been made Temple Magus and it is a lot more more work than she'd anticipated. Not to mention, having the university in her jurisdiction included attaining the seat of Chancellor. Fuck the social life, I guess.

At least they're always able to come home to each other.

Unfortunately, that too starts falling apart.

Hamish gets pulled deeper and deeper into uncovering the Order with Randall and Lilith, slowly figuring out how to find the pledges and get rid of them. Since he'd told Vera about Cassie, talking about the departed Knight becomes easier. He struggles a bit to explain it all to Randall, but he's able to speak properly and tell Lilith all about Cassie. When Hamish reveals that Cassie had been Timber's champion, Lilith understands. She is harsh and brash and often rude, but she also has a heart to love, no matter how guarded and hidden. She makes an effort to distinguish herself from Timber and from Cassie. Hamish makes an effort to see Lilith instead of Cassie's replacement. Once they succeed on that, their relationship improves tenfold. (Randall is relieved. He was worried his days as a Knight were gonna be filled to the brim with tension and loathing)

Vera gets pulled deeper into the Order. She's sucked into the position she's been granted and no matter how much she tries to leave it for a break now and then, something or the other pulls her back. It doesn't help that the pledges decrease in number every year due to at least one of them dying.

By the time Jack Morton makes his way to Belgrave, things have quite nearly fallen apart. Hamish has stopped visiting an empty house. Vera's stopped trying to call when she finally leaves the temple, only to reach the voicemail of a sleeping Hamish, who's stopped trying to send texts every odd hour.

Given that Jack never actually said Vera's name to the Knights (I believe, and if I'm wrong shhh it's an au), it's no surprise that the the earlier parts of Finals Pt.2 is slightly more comedy than pain. (Let's assume Lilith never mentions Vera's name upon regaining her memories either)

Let it also be known that I, for the life of me, cannot recall how the entire scene plays out, so we just gonna make it up as we go along =)

Hamish is down in the basement when Jack brings a new ally to the den. An injured Lilith is there.

"Miss Bathory." "Bitch." "Fair enough."

Randall is in next, excited to see Lilith back in the den. "Hey! I knew you weren't dead!"

"Randall?" "Vera! Heyyyyy, long time no see, huh? Wh -- what . . . what are you doing here?" "You -- you're one of them? The werewolves?" "Shiiiiiiiit, you know?? Wait, you're not like,, in the Order, are you?" "How long have you been a werewolf?" *guilty face* "FROM THE START????"

Lilith & Jack: 🤨 wtf is happening here

Hamish returns. "Guys, who's. . ." Hamish stares at Vera. For a while, he wonders how she found the den. Then he wonders what she's doing at the den. Then he recalls Jack mentioning that he was bringing an unlikely ally. He'd figured unlikely ally meant someone in the Order. ". . . here?"

Vera shoots Jack a glare. "What the fuck is this, Mr Morton?"

"Uhh . . . I didn't-- I wasn't aware you guys were, uh . . . friends?"

Hamish is still staring at Vera. "This what you've been doing for years? Magic? The Order? That promotion . . . it wasn't about the chancellor position, was it?"

(Lil bit of comedy = Randall: WAIT, SHE'S THE TEMPLE MAGUS??????)

"You say magic like it's evil. Have you ever once thought about the fact that you've been murdering my pledges every year since Miss Bathory was expelled from the Order? Which is more evil, Hamish, protecting magic or killing its practitioners?"

"Your people got Cassie and Nico killed," Hamish hisses, "those practitioners you're protecting are the reason Cassie and Nico died. Magic. Is. Evil."

"Magic isn't evil! I was barely a Magistratus when your ex-girlfriend was killed! Do you think I enjoyed all those respondeo incantations? Wh-- why do you think I started spending so much time at the temple? Making sure I stayed Temple Magus? I am trying to make the Order better. But you? All you care about is murdering my Neophytes. Children."

(Randall: intense wincing as his parents fight. Jack & Lilith: perplexed but very invested in the drama. Jack's a lil upset that he's got plans to go and confront Edward. He kinda wanted to see the rest of that argument.)

"Oh, that's rich, V," Hamish snaps. Despite the clear rage radiating off of Hamish, Vera isn't afraid. The nickname is familiar and welcome. It's home. Hamish, no matter how far he is from her, is home. Doesn't mean she's not got her own barrel of problems to spill.

"Rich?? I'm not the one out here killing people before they get the chance to even live. You -- you -- you are -- you're a monster, you know that?" She says it factually, as if it's something common knowledge.

"Really, V? Are we doing this now?" "Might as well! If we're all going to die, I'm not going down without getting everything out. You know, while we're on the topic of being brutally honest before we die, Mr Morton, your sense of style is horrendous, Miss Bathory, your temper is infuriating and Randall . . . you -- you -- your jokes are lame!"

Funny enough, Randall is most offended. And then Lilith has his attention because she's hurt. "Can you help?" "I don't trust her." "I don't recall caring, do you want me to save your life or not?"

Hamish is pissed as Vera turns to help Lilith. Amusingly, he's pissed because Vera isn't paying him any attention. But there are more pressing matters, like the incoming army. "We have company."

"Fucking Kepler," Vera mutters.

Both Hamish and Randall squint at Vera. "Bitsy Kepler?" "Isn't she a bit . . . fickle and stupid to be in the Order?"

"Oh, you know Kepler too?" Lilith asks, more of a rhetorical question.

"No, V just complained about her a lot." "Don't call me that, Randall." "Sorry."

"They are circling the house. What are they up to?" "Knowing Kepler, something unoriginal."

*sounds of the order throwing burning spells.* The look of awe on Hamish's face as he watches Vera cast a protection spell does not escape Randall and Lilith.

"How long is that gonna last?" "Long enough for us to deal with them."

Vera is already following an undressing Hamish to the doors. "No killing." "No promises."

Lilith stares at the empty doorway. "Are we going to talk about th--" "Nope. Not at all. Never. Anything else. Anything but whatever just transpired."

When they get into the temple and set the Vade Maecum alight, Hamish thinks maybe it isn't so bad. Maybe Vera's right, maybe she can turn the Order around. Maybe magic isn't evil. Vera takes his hand. He gives hers a little reassuring squeeze. Come hell or high water, he'll always come back to her.

It's what soulmates do.

"So, Grand Magus, huh?" "Mhm." "I didn't think you remembered this spot exists."

Vera, despite her new persona of professionalism and perfection, gets down on the grass beside Hamish. She looks at him carefully. Is she doing the right thing? Probably not. But will it keep him safe from her and the Order? More likely than not.

"What is it, V?"

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"About?"

"Us. What happened to us?"

"Magic," Hamish jokes, lightly tapping his forehead against hers. I missed you.

Vera squeezes his hand twice. I love you.

Hamish closes his eyes. So much trust he has in Vera that despite knowing she's on the other side of the great divide between the Knights and the Order, he still trusts her enough to be around her blind. Vera's guilt starts eating at her insides already. It makes her sick, but she hasn't got a better choice. The alternative is allowing the order to launch an attack on the Knights -- and if the Order could kill werewolves before, they can kill them again. Vera never wants to feel the pain Hamish felt after losing Cassie.

This is losing him, but at least she knows he's alive and safe. Safe from the Order, from magic, from all of Belgrave's dirty little secrets.

She wants to be the one to monitor him, but Grand Magus duties steal her time and attention worse than Temple Magus did. She hates having to leave him in the hands of one of the Medicums, but she can't exactly do it herself, despite wanting to.

"I thought I was the quiet one," Hamish jokes.

"Shh. Some . . . peace and quiet is welcome."

"V, are you--" Vera quickly claps her hand over his eyes. "Sh. Don't . . . don't say anything. Don't open your eyes. I just . . . I just want to see you for a moment."

Hamish smiles and complies. Vera fights to keep her shaking breath quiet. She lowers her hand slowly. Could she spare time for one last kiss? Just one? No. One would never be enough. And she knows that if Hamish kisses her now, her entire resolve will break.

She squeezes his hand twice. I love you.

Before he can respond, Vera blows the powder in his face. She sits up slowly. Dear God, she was sure she'd done something horrible in a past life to warrant this kind of torture. At least for Hamish, losing Cassie hadn't been the product of his own making.

"Your name is Hamish Duke. You go to Belgrave University. You're a TA and -- and you study psychology. Forget the Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose. Forget the Knights of Saint Christopher. Forget . . . Vera Stone."

Vera pulls him up. "Hey, that looked like a nasty fall. Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay, I think. Thanks."

"Sure." Vera can't help the two subtle squeezes she gives his hand before leaving. I love you. She doesn't want to be there when Selena Durov leaves her class and arrives. She doesn't want to see what Selena says to Hamish, what lies she feeds him and what she does. Vera wants to lock herself in her office and never see another person again.

Hamish frowns as he watches her leave. He wondered what had happened to her that her eyes were so sad. Part of him want to run after her and ask her. Ask her name at the very least. But something keeps him rooted to the spot where he stands.

Who was she and why did he feel like she'd said something very important?

Hamish holds his own wrist for a moment, feeling the ghost of her touch. The slight squeezes he thought he'd imagined.

I love you.

Who the hell was she? And why did he feel like he really ought to know her.

Part 3

Did I win yet, ladies? Or do you want part 3?

@gingersimasnapsandvermishthings @bakulka @everythingabouthatship

See some other soulmate aus I've tried my hand at

[rae0fsunsh1ne]

The Order S1E04

I’m rewatching The Order for the 4th time and basically just gonna live blog it so if you don’t want to see my blabbering posts about each episode you can block the tag #Rachel obsesses about The Order

1.04

Randall once again just hanging out in Jack’s too waiting for him

“Woah, as your RA it kind of sounds like you’re depressed.”

Randall is so nonchalant about murder

“Flossing is your friend”

Vera hitting us with her catch phrase again

The sign outside the Blade and Chalace says “Today’s Special But 2 Drinks + DRINK THEM!” and I am dead

Randall may be a werewolf, but he needs better table manners. such a messy boi

“My D&D character!” great cover up

“You’re a bomb, I get it!”

“Do you trust me?” “Not at all.”

The dialogue on this show is impeccable

Sir Richard De Payne

Using an undead corpse as a hiding place is actually pretty brilliant

Lillith is just a lil murder puppy

Of course Jack is gonna read the books in the basement and check out all the magic stuff, y’all locked him down there for hours and didn’t expect him to get bored?

Once again, Edward is being creepy towards Alyssa and it makes me so uncomfy

I remember when I watched this ep for the first time I thought there would be something somehow marriage related or weird about them specifically using the phrase “I do” in the incantation between Edward and Alyssa because of the predatory vibes that Edward gives off

“I’m body positive!” damn, yeah Randall you should be. pheeewwww hot damn

No but seriously………… I’m drooling

And Randall saved a kid from being abducted because he’s a goddamn cinnamon roll

When Randall says that Hamish gave him about responsibility and that “they” took him into the hide locker, does he mean Hamish and Cassie? Or was Cassie already dead by then and it was Hamish and Lillith?

GOddamn Sir Richard De Payne with that jump scare! the first time i watched I had looked away right at that moment and had to rewind to see what happened and I paused it right on his creepy ass face

Lillith my murder puppy is so descriptive when talking about her kills!

“GRANDMA NO!!!”

Hamish is wise, and sassy

And his skills as a mixologist go so very under appreciated

I can’t think of any other werewolf media I’ve seen that uses the phrase “wolf out” except for Big Wolf on Campus

“Thanks for turning me into a murderer”

This interaction between Jack and Alyssa is not exactly the most romantic moment to have a first kiss

“Your lips are so soft……” calm down Alyssa you thirsty bitch

I looove the way the pages of the Vade Maecum pull themselves back together with those spindly little creepy threads, such a cool effect

The hug between Edward and Alyssa makes me feel super uncomfy

What story did Jack give Vera about how Prof. Clarke died because he definitely didn’t tell her about turning into a werewolf but he also wasn’t the one who performed the spell in the first place so………?

“No one is eating my ethics professor!” “Guys, come on!”

I will never get over how much chaotic bisexual energy Randall possesses