#Tell him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xprakzif · 4 months ago

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𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝 • 𝐦.𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

chapter 3 to tell him

chapter two here

parings: matt x fem!reader

warnings: this series contains: smut, cheating(don’t condone), suggestive content, cursing, angst, fluff, mixed emotions

summary: after matt confessed his love for her in front of her boyfriend, she found out the ugly truth. but they both realize they’re in denial..

“what’s going on..?” kian spoke.

“kian, i- i can explain this, just-“

“nah..i came to tell you i didn’t think this was gonna work out, but i think he did it for me.” kian pushed past her and matt, exiting the apartment.

she didn’t go after him.

“i was gonna tell him..” her voice cracking a bit.

“y/n, i’m sorry-“

“please, matt, just go..” she whispered, tears of something that wasn’t sadness rolled down her face.

“no- i need to talk to you-“

“GO!” she shouted, and with that, he hesitantly left her apartment.

the apology

it was her fault. she knew it was, it was all wrong. she didn’t want kian finding out this way. she wanted to explain, she wanted to break up with him. but he did it for her.

he didn’t answer her 27 calls or 11 long text messages in the span of 8 days.

i mean who would? she lied to him, backstabbed him.

she’s been avoiding the boys again. only going to work, caring for shadow, and sleeping the rest of the days away.

back at the triplets house, emotions were mixed.

matt blew up her phone, hundreds of calls, messages begging her to talk to him and apologizing for barging in. nick was oblivious to everything. but nick wasn’t stupid.

he knew his brothers knew something he didn’t.

“you two wouldn’t happen to know why y/n hasn’t been texting me back? ‘cause if you do, you better start talking. this isn’t okay,” nick stomped down the stairs to the kitchen where matt and chris were eating.

they both knew there was tension and both knew what was going on.

“hello?! am i talking to the fucking wall? clearly you know something i don’t,”

matt felt a lump creep up his throat, his eyes burning with tears threatening to fall. his lip quivered as he held back his urge to cry.

“i don’t know..” chris almost whispered, looking away. they both had lost their appetite at nick’s interrogation.

he wasn’t having any of it. “so.. we’re okay with our best friend being m.i.a? none of you care to go check on her-“

“it’s- it’s me! she’s mad at me- i didn’t mean to do this- any of this!” matt blurted out with his fist slamming against the table. the tears finally escaped as he put his face in his palms.

chris looked to him, not shocked, just surprised at the outburst.

“what..” nick approached the two and took a seat next to matt. “tell me what happened, matt. i’m not-“ he glanced at chris, “we’re not mad at you, okay?”

he lifted his head and nodded with red cheeks and puffy eyes, “well..”

she was curled up on her couch watching a movie trying anything to distract herself from the truth she had to face eventually.

her phone began to vibrate on the end table next to her. it was finally off dnd. it was upside down, no idea who was calling. her heart throbbed as she took a deep breath, reaching to grab the device.

it was nick calling.

a little disappointed that it wasn’t kian, but also relived it wasn’t kian, she answered.

“..hello” her voice soft and almost hoarse.

“y/n! i’m so glad you answered. how you feeling?” she couldn’t tell if he was happy or.. mad?

“i’m alright..” she lied.

“interesting, well where have you been?”

“home.. listen, i’m really sorry i hav-“

“no- y/n, i know everything. and i’m a little mad at you, for one you didn’t tell me this. i could’ve helped you! you didn’t have to shut me out, and two, you really hurt my brother..”

she weeped on the line, she knew. that was the reason she’d been ignoring him, all of them.

“y/n.. i think it’s best if you come talk to me in person. i think you owe someone an apology, and it’s not me..”

“i know, nick.. i know”

later on in the night, she was asleep in her bedroom. well she was trying to atleast.

her phone lit up the room indicating another phone call. this time, it was kian.

“..he-“

“kian! i’ve been cal-“

“no, i was only with her to get to her friends! she had hella famous friends,”

“wha..” she whispered. he was talking, but not to her?

“don’t worry babe, she’s gone now.” kian spoke. is she having a nightmare?

another voice was heard after his, “great, now i finally get all your time..” it was a girl.

“WHAT!?” she yelled causing shadow to leap off the bed and scurry away. she was loud enough for kian to hear her through the accidental call.

“oh shit- hello? y/n? what the h-“

“oh don’t worry kian, i heard it all.” she hung up the phone and threw it on the bed.

she was furious. she was being used all this time. at the same time, she realized she cheated on kian, but she wasn’t using him.

grabbing her phone once again, she blocked kian and deleted his entire contact as well as any photos she had with him.

on instinct, her finger tapped nicks contact and typed a message.

i think i’m ready and i have something to tell you

“chris clean this up!”

matt was trying to eat until he spotted chris’s mess of cereal was all over the counter.

“that’s what you’re here for,”

“i’m not touching that.”

“you’re closer, just do it!” their argument was shortly interrupted by the sound of their doorbell.

“who the hell is that?” the two stared at each other in fear and confusion.

“can you guys shut up? and clean up that mess, god!” nick came down the stairs passing his brothers. they watched him go to check the door.

“we’re we expecting someone today?” matt whispered wondering if he forgot.

nicks voice could be barley heard as he opened the door, “come in, i’m really glad you came!” the sound of his feet along with another pair made their way up the stairs.

“um, let’s just go to my room to talk for a second,” he appeared behind the wall that lead up to the kitchen. behind him was y/n.

both matt and chris had similar expressions. matt felt his heart throb at the sight of her. his eyes went wide and he stopped in his tracks.

“hi..” she softly greeted with a wave. shame and embarrassment was visible, she didn’t expect them to be awake so early.

“..hi?” the boys said in unison.

“didn’t i tell you to clean that up? whatever, come on, y/n” nick pulled her up to his room, avoiding the awkward encounter.

matt and chris couldn’t even speak, just spared a glance and continued with their breakfast.

nick and y/n sat on his bed. she explained what happened the night before with her now ex kian. nick comforted her and said to forget him.

he then told her matt told them everything.

“oh..”

“we aren’t mad at you, y/n. well i’m a bit disappointed, but that’s besides the point. you should talk it out with him.”

she looked away shamefully, “i know, i’m sorry i’ve been ignoring you guys. it was just a lot to take in,”

“it’s all good, we still love you!” the two giggled and playfully smacked eachother. it felt so good to have her bestfriend back.

but one thing that hadn’t settled yet was matt. after talking to nick, he assured her it was fine if she went down to talk to him alone.

this is how she found herself standing in front of his bedroom door, taking a giant deep breath. all the boys were settled into their own bedrooms, so it was easy for them to be alone.

she gained the courage to knock softly on the door, the same door she stood in front of that night, to the same room she’d been in causing all this chaos.

there was a moment of stillness. maybe he didn’t want to be bothered. maybe he didn’t want to hear from her after all.

ready to turn on her heels, the click of the knob sounded and matt was in the door frame. the pink shirt he wore brought out his worrisome, blue eyes. he still had a bit of shock on his face, although he knew it was her, his brothers never knock.

“can we talk?”

“yea.. come in,” he whispered. she stepped into the room with a white glow from the open curtains. he shut the door behind her as she hesitated to sit on the bed. his room was always nicely kept, that’s something she liked about him.

he sat beside her waiting for her to initiate the conversation. she gulped the nerves in her throat,

“matt,” her eyes were glossy, “i- i’m really sorry, for everything.. i never wanted to hurt you, i-i was just dumb! i wasn’t aware of my own feelings, so i messed with yours, and i’m so sorry. i really don’t wanna ruin what we all have- i’m a terrible person!”

she sobbed out her speech, holding back the tears that prickled at the corner of her eyes, clumping up her mascara.

he watched her the entire time. a frown formed on his lips. “y/n.. you’re not a terrible person. what you did was wrong, but we all make mistakes okay?”

he scooted closer for comfort, “i’m sorry too. for bursting in like that, on you and..” he hated that name. he wouldn’t say it.

“we broke up. he was using me, not that it mattered anyway..”

matt felt some sense of relief, then guilt. he wish he would’ve stepped in sooner. kian would’ve never been in the picture.

“can we all just be friends again? i miss being with you..” she pleaded.

they looked into eachothers eyes. he knew there was no way he could bare being “just friends” with her. but whatever made her happy.

he faked a smile, “of course, i’d never wanna lose you.” she suddenly embraced him by the waist, his arms wrapping around the back of her neck and shoulders, pulling her in as tight as possible.

this is gonna be painful.

the awkwardness

matt caught himself staring again.

she invited them to her apartment to film a video of them reacting to tiktok edits, for a change of scenery. she was feeding shadow, bent over to pour food in his bowl.

his eyes lingered for a bit too long, leaving him flustered with the view.

“hello? are you watching, matt?” nick snapped pushing the phone into his face.

“yes..”

although things were back to normal with chris and nick, her and matt still shared some tension.

everytime she came around it wasn’t like before. the conversations were shorter, the jokes weren’t vulgar, it’s like they were scared of eachother.

after the video, they sat around her bedroom. the room was filled with laughter and random noises mostly coming from chris.

her and nick were laying on the bed, matt sitting at the foot and chris laying on the carpeted floor. the bedside lamp illuminated their faces.

chris got up from the floor with a groan, “you have snacks? i’m so hungry,”

“chris, you ate 20 minutes ago..” nick mentioned the food they ordered not too long ago. he just shrugged and rolled his eyes.

“there’s stuff in the pantry, go ahead.” he wasted no time after she gave him an answer, heading out the room.

“i have to pee, brb.” nick followed chris out almost instantly, leaving her and matt alone.

there was awkward silence at first. her cat suddenly hopped on the bed and began meowing at matt, causing them to giggle.

“do you not want me on the bed, shadow?” he spoke toward the cat. “you give them a home and they end up hating you,”

all she could do was smile. the way he sat there and swatted playfully at shadow made her stomach flutter. getting lost in his blue eyes even though he wasn’t looking at her, had her in a trance.

until nick and chris barged in with the entire pantry.

“we should watch a movie!”

the accident

driving in the pouring rain, she was on her way back from work. the traffic wasn’t helping the fact that her stress levels were skyrocketing, the road rage was just a plus.

sitting in the traffic for so long, the night grew later and later. it was now 11, she got out at 9:30.

she decided to turn into a street she’d never been down before to beat the line of cars, and it worked except she didn’t know where she was.

the road was flooded, but the rain on her windshield made her blind.

there was so much going on and the car felt like it stopped moving. that’s because it did stop moving.

her car completely shut down after she drove through the pool of water, messing up her engine.

she tried pushing the gas, nothing. starting the car again, nothing.

“what?” pure panic rushed through her veins. she didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know anything about cars, besides how to drive one and she was barley good at that.

she clicked on her hazards to look around, not single sign of life in sight.

she grabbed her phone to see if she could call someone, scrolling through her contacts. most of which either couldn’t drive, or were out of state.

“you’ve got to be kidding me..”

the only one left was matt.

there was the choice of calling him for help and sitting through an awkward ride with him, or being stranded waiting for a tow truck.

clicking on his contact, hesitation flooded her nerves, she pressed call. a bold choice.

a few rings went by, her heart beat being louder than the phone itself.

“y/n?” he finally spoke.

“hey- sorry to call so suddenly-“

“no, no- you’re fine. is everything alright?!” he sounded genuinely concerned.

“yes.. well no, im kinda stuck. i’m not sure where i’m at but my car won’t start-“

“wait, huh? send me your location, i’ll be on my way,” eagerly moving on the other line, he grabbed his keys, not caring that it was storming outside in just a hoodie and sweats.

“..thanks matt,”

it was a long 20 minutes. she called her insurance company which sent her a tow truck that was taking forever.

a familiar car pulled up next to hers, she knew who it was from all the beeping they did.

grabbing her valuables, she switched cars getting soaked in the process.

“jesus, y/n-“

“i know, just- don’t.” she was already annoyed from everything going wrong. he stood silent for a bit.

there came the tow truck. she signed off the car to get repaired and brought back to her apartment.

“stay at mines, it’s closer anyway.. how’d you even end up over here? it’s nowhere near your place..” matt gripped the wheel trying to navigate through the floods.

“i was just trying to beat the traffic- no, i can’t stay. shadows at home.” she reminded herself and him of the soul purpose she was rushing home. “i swear it’s like having an actual child. i love him so much though.”

till that day matt was still happy he gifted her a kitten. he loved seeing the joy that came from her talking about it. “let’s go get him- it really would be better for you to stay with me- i mean us, since you won’t have your car..”

she thought about it for a minute. knowing all the outcomes and none of them were relatively good.

“alright, i just have to grab a few things then,”

pulling into the parking spot, the rain began dying down. it was still splashing down, just not as severe. she got out, matt followed her in.

at first she was confused, thinking he would just wait in the car. but that wasn’t matt. he wouldn’t let her do anything by herself as long as he was with her.

“shadow! did you miss me baby?” they dryed their shoes on her indoor mat after she unlocked the door.

matt awkwardly stood in the living room, unsure what to do. “you can sit, you know.. i won’t be long,”

he nodded and took a seat on the couch. shadow came and sat right on his lap waiting for pets. she went to her bedroom and grabbed a tote bag to put some clothes in. it shouldn’t have been long, maybe a couple days until her car was ready.

coming back to where matt was, she stopped by the kitchen to get shadows food and bowl, adding it to the bag.

“okay, we can go- are you sure you wanna carry him? i don’t want him to run.,” pointing to matt holding shadow like a newborn baby. “wait, let me get his kennel.”

they finally got back on the road. it was now 1:23 in the morning. the rain silenced and the streets were calm. they both hummed to the songs that played from matt’s playlist. she wouldn’t know that it was inspired by her though. she just thought it was a coincidence that all her favorite songs were on there.

“chris and nick might be asleep..” matt mentioned, opening the front door quietly. the house was dark, the only light coming from the kitchen hood.

she could tell what he was indicating. ‘nick was asleep and they shouldn’t bother him’ but what he really meant was ‘i just want you to sleep in my room.’

“that’s fine..” she replied. they made it to his bedroom, closing the door so shadow wouldn’t roam the house and bother the others.

“can i.. change real quick?” she was still in her uncomfortable work attire.

he wanted to do the same, his clothes still damp from the storm. “oh- yeah, i’ll just um- turn around..”

he wasn’t expecting her to just started stripping her clothes in front of him, but he couldn’t look away. his face displaying surprise.

she noticed after taking off her top layer, being left in a bra and panties, “what..? did i do something wrong? i mean- it’s not like you haven’t seen it before,”

“no- no! you’re right, i’m- sorry, just wasn’t expecting it..” he finally turned away to change himself.

once they were both ready, they found each other in his bed. again.

an awkward distance between the two.

“goodnight..” she spoke in the dark.

“..goodnight”

the acceptance

“oh- this looks familiar, hey y/n!” chris woke the two up, once again. “i was just coming to tell matt that we ordered food- shadow!”

this time they weren’t caught.. you know.

“alright, man- i’ll be there in a second!” matt groaned, rubbing his eyes to adjust to the sunlight.

chris let shadow out the room to let nick know his bestfriend was there. this was just a great look for her.

“y/n?! what’re you doing here? not that i’m complaining!” nick shouted too loud for the early morning.

“my car broke down in the rain last night,” she scoffed, “matt came to my rescue..”

“wow, if it was one of us, he would’ve left us stranded.” nick was joking but matt felt the tension.

“yea..”

“well, me and madi are gonna go get sushi in a few, you wanna come, y/n?” nick asked.

“i hate sushi,” she replied. “it’s okay, enjoy you’re date.”

“you suck!” nick laughed and went to his room to finish getting dressed.

the remaining three ate the breakfast that was ordered and got ready for the day. there wasn’t anything particular planned since the weather wasn’t looking too good.

they decided on staying in and hanging around the house. they played a few games since nick had left, and she used his computer. the rain outside grew heavier. the sound of thunder making her jump, along with chris barging into nicks room.

“i got bored of fortnite,” laying on nicks bed. “nick said he’s stuck at madi’s ‘cause of the storm.”

“chris! since you love shadow so much, can you go feed him?” she asked from the chair. matt came in the room confused to why they weren’t playing anymore.

“what hap-“

“we got bored,” chris got up to leave the room. “cmon kitty.”

“hey,” matt started.

“hey..”

he sucked in air between his gritted teeth. the tension was stronger than ever when they were alone. he needed to break it somehow.

“god, y/n! i can’t keep doing this- what’s up between us?!” he couldn’t hold back anymore. it was so sudden. but he felt like he had to.

she turned fully in the chair, shocked at the sudden outburst. “matt-“

“no-no, you think i’m cool with just dropping everything that happened? i mean you barley talked to me about it- all you did was ‘apologize’,” his fingers making air quotes.

“are you kidding me? matt, i did apologize, i told you what happened, and YOU,” she pointed at him, now getting up from the chair, “said everything was cool! you’re the one who agreed to being friends again-“

“shit- do you really think i meant that? how could i be friends with someone like you?” he raised his voice.

both of the bodies in the room became steaming with anger, regretful words spilling out like water. thunder clapped with each sentence that came out. they were competing with the storm at this rate.

“you know what- then don’t! we don’t have to be friends! why do you think i was avoiding you?!” the yelling they were doing hadn’t caught chris’s attention, not that either of them were worried about him. they were too focused on trying to hurt each other verbally.

“good for you! i wish you never came back!”

that was her last straw, she tried to form a sentence, but her temper got the best of her. she pushed past him and slammed open the room door.

running down the stairs, not caring about any of her things. she just wanted to be away from him.

matt instantly regretted his words seeing her storm out. he waited a second, then followed behind her. they were unintentionally stomping down the stairs, causing chris to look up from pouring cat food into a small silver bowl. he was as lost as the next guy.

she opened the front door and attempted to slam it behind her, matt holding it open for himself being hit in the process.

“y/n- where are you going?!” clutching the arm that was hit.

“why do you give a fuck? you wished i never came back remember?! so let me leave!” she was being a bit dramatic, the rain soaking her clothes and hair. it was such a beautiful yet chaotic scene. the gloomy sky being brightened with the occurring lighting.

and her in front of it all, being attacked by droplets, hurt matt more.

“can’t you see? i wouldn’t be doing all of this if i didn’t-“

“didn’t what, matt? care? love me? do you even mean it?” she started to sob, the tears mixing in with the rain. “what were you even saying that night? when i was trying to break up with kian?! like are you just trying to fuck with me, matt?”

he came from under the door, entering the storm and the battle. he was face to face with her. “no! i’m not trying anything- y/n- i fucking love you! i’ve been in love with you since i met you- i just couldn’t admit it and i’ve been hating myself ever since-“

her hands grabbed his face, pulling his lips onto hers. his arms wrapped around her waist pulling her in so their bodies were touching. the kiss wasn’t like any they shared before. the feelings were mutual this time, loving and warm despite the cold rain.

in the upstairs window, chris’s jaw was to the floor. “they were just fighting..” he spoke to shadow as if he would respond. poor shadow never got his food.

the two outside were too lovestruck in the rain to notice a car pull up, dropping nick off.

“what.. the actual fuck..”

fuck it guess we both ain’t shit🤷‍♀️

yes there will be a part four (potentially the last part!!) also thanks for all the love on the previous parts mwah 😽

tag list!! @sturnobsessedwh0re @ilovechrissturniolosposts @sturnsxbitvh @sturnsxplr-25 @sturniluvr @asimp4chris @mattspearlz @annsx03 @sarosfilms @sucretwin @little-bisexual-intern @idontknowwhyimhere33

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rahuratna · 5 months ago

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Nanami Kento: Relationship Headcanons (now a fic), Part 6

Contents: pre-relationship, establishing feelings, slow burn, dinner dates, slow romance, first kisses.

When Kento said that he wanted to do things the right way, he was being very serious. You received more phone calls from him on each day of the week, at exactly the same time. He would call even if he'd seen you at work, albeit briefly, during the course of the day. He always made sure to first ask if you were occupied with anything else.

Each time you spoke was like filling in a new blank space on a crossword. A cryptic crossword, to be more precise. Everything you learned about him was either slipped like a knife between the rich layers of your conversations or hard won through every verbal sparring match you engaged in. It wasn't as if your interaction with him had become more complicated. The flow of thoughts and their exchange was still the most natural thing you both had engaged in.

There was so much more now, though, so much that hinged on Kento being comfortable enough to show you the parts of himself reserved for his leisure time. This was the self that manifested when he was truly off the clock and the rigid persona that inhabited his daylight hours could be shelved in favour of the man who simmered like a delightful burst of flavour, hidden just beneath the surface.

Kento was sensitive to the feelings of others. He was far less self-reliant than he thought (as responsible as the man was, he had terrible sleeping habits and ran through suits horrendously fast considering the nature of his work). He bought lots of books that he hadn't yet read, told his protégés numerous times not to look to him as an example, and then acted as exactly that, secretly indulged in romantic serials and b-grade martial arts films, ate fried chicken with beer every Tuesday and liked to visit the aquarium on his down time because watching the fish relaxed him. He always ended those aquarium trips by eating a sushi meal set, something you told him was decidedly morbid.

As someone who had spent years feeling drained by the many social interactions that came with any working day, speaking to Kento was a refreshing change, and not just because he was the man you had rapidly deepening feelings for. There was something about talking to him that left you feeling a little more enriched each time, as if some mischievous spirit, leashed by the strings that left lovers hopelessly entangled, danced with a loaded paint brush through your life, esoteric colours in unheard-of shades splashing against the placid walls.

Kento was a hopelessly beautiful mess of contradictions. Solid, yet vulnerable. Dependable, yet never disguising his yearning to live for something more. Practical and no-nonsense, yet a dreamer and an idealist. A man who gave himself no excuses, nor shirked responsibility, but made no secret of his desire for a soft life on a sunny beach.

You would not exchange him for anyone else in the world.

The second time you go out together, he calls it a date. He is completely unabashed in his approach. He sees no need to conceal what you both know to be the truth, now that it has been acknowledged. It's something you have keen appreciation for. He doesn't message you the details, instead asking you outright in the break room, where you meet regularly for lunch.

He wants to go to a specific seafood place that he feels you will enjoy. When you cheerfully agree, he touches you with intention for the first time. It is only momentary, as if he can't contain the desire to do so. He reaches across the table and gently brushes his fingers over your wrist before that same hand smoothly unwraps the packaging on his lunch. You think that it's almost unfair, the effect that this small contact has on you, but then you see that his hands fumble with the chopsticks slightly.

Of course, it's only a matter of time before the conversation that is completely necessary takes place. You didn't know when it would occur, but the second time you go out together turns out to be the occasion.

He waits for you in the garden after work, as he did the last time. You're starting to learn how important routine in small matters is to him. You take your stroll through the school grounds, lingering in the familiar spaces that now feel new, due to the person beside you.

Kento is amused by the turn your conversation has taken.

"So, you've never learned how to swim?"

"Never. Even though I lived fairly near the ocean when I was younger."

"But what was it about the water that scared you?"

"Do I really have to tell you?"

"Yes."

"Is that an order?"

"More like a strong suggestion."

"How considerate of you, sir."

Kento clears his throat, and you glance sideways at him. Smiling, you continue.

"It wasn't the water itself. It was more the idea of what was beneath it. It's wasn't about what I could see, rather what I imagined was there."

"And what did you imagine?"

"Sharks."

"There were sharks near where you grew up?"

"Very rarely. But I thought of them anyway."

"Did you, perhaps, watch - "

You laugh and shake your head.

"Jaws? No, so that wasn't the reason."

He hums thoughtfully.

"All human fear has its root in a primal cause. It's our desire for survival, our learned fear. But not all fear is learned. Sometimes, we fear things that we can't quite put a name to."

This time, you're the one that can't hold back. You reach for him, the back of your hand brushing his.

"What are you afraid of, Kento?"

He pauses, before gently entangling your fingers. The simplicity of the gesture, along with its weight, steals your breath momentarily. He seems similarly lost for the appropriate words, the contact of your skin and his forming all the communication you are both capable of in that moment. Eventually, when the car draws up alongside, he has an answer for you.

"I'm afraid of many things. And my list grows longer every day."

The place he has chosen, ironically, is a quaint seaside cafe, a fair distance from Jujutsu Tech. This was why he had asked to leave earlier today. The place is situated on a high ridge overlooking a long, winding staircase that leads to a faint strip of shingle below. The sea looks rough, the weather grey and uninviting, which makes the atmosphere within the cafe seem cosier by comparison. The table he chooses is private, and this time you are seated closer to him, the setting more intimate.

"How did you find this place?"

"I was on a solo mission in the area for a few days. Got caught in a storm and found my way in here."

"Lucky coincidence. I like this place a lot. It's warm."

Your eyes travel across to Kento whose posture is a tad stiff. You realise that because he had come here alone on the previous occasion, he hadn't accounted for how small the seating space at each booth was with two people present. The leather couches formed an 'L' which left your shins pressed against the backs of his very long legs. You never were good at disguising your amusement and Kento watches you with narrowed eyes as you peruse the menu and wiggle your toes slightly. He clears his throat and taps his fingers along the edge of his drinks list.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Very."

"Hmm."

"Why, aren't you?"

"I mean to say, does this seating arrangement make you wish for more space?"

"No. It's cosy."

He goes back to reading the drinks list and remains noticeably rigid, as if he is doing everything in his power to keep from making you uncomfortable. It's not long before he asks again.

"Are you sure that you don't want to move?"

"Oh no. Not at all."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Is this my first personal encounter with your stubborn streak?"

"Perhaps it is."

You look up and can't help the laugh that escapes you at his put-out expression. You move your legs further along until they rest beneath his ankles, a far more comfortable position for both of you.

"Better, my good sir?"

The corners of his mouth curve upward, as if against his will and he relaxes, leaning back in his seat.

"Better."

The appetisers arrive, soft shell crab thermidor for him and sake-steamed abalone for you. He insists that you taste some of his food and you manage to sneak a small sample of yours onto his plate. As you wait for the entrée, sipping on the piping hot tea served in a beautiful earthenware pot, your gaze is caught by the turbulent sea, the distant waves breaking against the shoreline with a muffled roar.

"What are you thinking about now?"

Kento is watching you when you turn back to him. His voice is soft, carrying that gentle undertone that you'd never thought you'd be fortunate enough to hear, let alone have directed at you. You close your eyes momentarily before swirling the tea in your cup, stalling for time.

"I was thinking about how happy I am right now."

"You are?"

"Yes."

There is something in his glance now, something so warm, but so heavy. Your meals arrive and there is no opportunity for you to address it. Kento tucks into his food with relish. It seems that colder weather increases his appetite and, you have to admit, you're very much the same.

He returns to the earlier conversation you'd been having. This was one of the things you appreciated most about speaking to him. You both instantly knew what the other was referring to, even if time and other topics had passed in the interim.

"Would you be open to learning how to swim?"

"Oh, yes. In fact, I've made resolutions to learn at the gym many times. But I'm not sure ... I've always ended up postponing it."

"Why?"

"Things become busy. I forget."

"Sounds like there's a deeper issue here."

"Do you plan to do something about it, then?"

"Possibly."

"Don't tell me that you were one of those kids who stood behind the scared ones at swimming lessons and pushed them into the pool."

"Do you really think I'd do that?"

"No. But how else would you get me into the water?"

"I'd provide an incentive."

"You'd feed me?"

"Just how one-track minded are you?"

"I can't think of a single other reason to get motivated."

"Maybe I'd get in first."

You almost choke on your miso cod.

"Hmm. That may work. Nanami Kento, grade one sorcerer and swimming pool siren. Has a nice ring to it."

"This conversation will never be repeated to another soul."

After supper, Kento does not call the car. There is an enclosed nook outside the restaurant, sheltered from the worst of the wind, where you both stand, his upper arm pressed against yours. It seems that many physical barriers are coming down today, something you're definitely not complaining about. There is something about the sheer strength of the man standing so close to you that is both intimidating and intoxicating. In this moment, you feel that you can say anything to him.

And, possibly, he feels the same, because his next question opens the topic you weren't able to broach earlier. The one that darkens the already narrowing spaces between your life and his.

"You said earlier that you felt happy."

"I did."

"Just for that moment in time?"

"No. Being here makes me happy. And talking to you on the phone does too."

"I'd hoped I wasn't bothering you."

"Your calls are never a bother."

That keen sweetness, the unspoken tension that always hovered so close to your tongues was thickening the air once more. Kento looked down at his hands, fists closed over the railing.

"Are you saying that I make you happy?"

"Yes, Kento."

"What if that isn't always the case?"

"Are you talking about your work as a sorcerer?"

"Yes, and ... other possibilities. If this goes any further, I need to know that you will be safe and have peace of mind. If it means me sacrificing my own happiness, and yours, temporarily, I won't hesitate to do what's necessary. I don't want to see you hurt."

You let out a soft sigh and meet his gaze. It was vital that you address this now. He was not the sort of person who would leave an issue like this hanging tentatively between you two. You cannot mince your words either, because to do so would be an injustice to someone as principled and straightforward as the man standing beside you. You realise that in this moment, there is a different type of courage surfacing inside you, one you didn't know you possessed until you met him.

"Kento, I'll be frank. If anything happened to you, I'd be hurt beyond measure. With, or without us ... progressing further than this. I can't help how I feel. It's too far beyond my control. No, I'm not ashamed to tell you so. Nor am I embarrassed. I want you to know that I will miss you when we can't spend time together. That I will worry for you when you're out in the field. That I will wait for your call and feel relief when I hear your voice. That whenever a fatality is reported, I will feel sick to my stomach and never cease looking for you until I know that you're safe."

You pause and collect yourself. It's too late now, too late to cram the words back into your mouth. Secrets like this can never be swallowed. In this business, words like these birth curses. But they also birth wondrous things, feelings you know you can no longer live without.

"I want you to know that all these things are true, but they don't make other truths lesser, simply because they exist. Knowing that I will miss you doesn't take away from the fact that I cherish the time I spend in your company. When I worry for you, it's only natural. You worry for people you care about whether they're near you or not. You can choose to do whatever you want, Kento, now or in the future. But your actions can't change the way I feel. Not now. Not ever. You can save many people, multiple times, as a sorcerer. But you can't save me from myself."

The laugh that escapes you then is a little wild, a reckless sound that you wish you hadn't uttered, but it's another on the long list of things you can't pull back into yourself.

Kento is watching you as if you've transformed before his eyes, spurred on by the treacherous ocean behind you, into some kind of weapon that holds him in thrall, as if you've dealt him some grievous wound that, somehow, births more pleasure than agony.

He doesn't speak, but his hand comes up, the broad palm unspeakably warm and heavy against the side of your face. His fingers are rough in certain places, strong and capable as they trail down your cheek, pausing intimately at the corner of your mouth, before they move down to enclose the side of your neck, thumb resting beneath your chin.

Your face turns to him, a hapless sunflower towards a solar flare that arcs across space to unfold and destroy it. Your mouth opens under his, readily, and his warm, slightly chapped lips cover yours with that gentle firmness, so characteristic of everything he does. Your head is pushed to the side, tilting as he leans into you, something desperate under the staidness of his kiss, as if he is the one who has swallowed all the words you've spoken and is attempting to breathe his own intent back into you.

Your head tilts even further, as the kiss becomes less chaste, as his lips move with greater firmness against yours. He steals every breath you attempt to take and repays it with molten honey that threatens to drown you. His fingers are now tangled in your hair and yours are clenched in the fabric of his coat.

When you separate, a necessity to keep you both from suffocating, his eyes are shut tightly, the bridge of his nose slightly creased, as if he is in pain. You don't think you've ever seen a more beautiful sight.

You echo his movement, gently cupping his cheek with your palm and guiding his face back towards yours. Not for another kiss, no. Not now. There'll be plenty of time for that later. For now, you rest his forehead against yours and close your own eyes in turn.

Something about the sigh that escapes him, the solid weight of his head against yours, the soft fall of his hair against your brow, reminds you of an illustration you've seen in one of the many storybooks you've read as a child.

A weary knight finds a safe haven in a perilous forest, his back against an old, gnarled tree, sword shoved upright into the earth before him. You are willing to be the sword, no matter how thin your edges are worn. You are willing to be the tree, no matter how scarred time makes you. You want to stand by his side, for as long as you are permitted, holding off the beasts of the forest until dawn arrives.

@tsukimefuku @kentocalls @g-kleran @actuallysaiyan

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